#raul mendes angst

[itsamendesmadness]

Thinking of you

Shawn Mendes x Female reader 

Summary: The reader receives a gift from Shawn while he is away on a guy's trip. 

Warning(s):  SEX TOYS MASTURBATION 

a/n: I had so much fun writing this piece. I think it's my best work so far. Remember to reblog if you want to see more stuff like this. Don’t be afraid to comment. 🫶✨

The constant ringing of your phone wakes you up. You disconnect it from its charger and roll to the other side of the bed. You have two missed calls from Shawn and decide to call him back. Just in case something happened. 

*Phone rings*

“Good. You’re awake” a brisk voice answers the phone. Causing you to instantly blush of how excited he sounded just to hear back from you. “Hey babe, is everything alright?” you respond to the cheerful guy. “Yes. Everything is alright. I just got a little anxious going into the airport, but I felt better when Mike arrived.” You could tell he was trying to mask how anxious he really got. “Airports are anxiety inducing. I totally get it.” you say trying to validate his feelings. “Yeah. Thank you, y/n. Anyways, I ordered a little something for you. It should be at the door any minute now.” he says. “Mmm… I wonder what it could be.” you respond jokingly. 

After a little while of talking on the phone with Shawn. You get an alert on your phone from the outdoor security camera detecting movement. “It's here” you tell Shawn who is still on the phone with you. You proceed to put him on speaker and head to the door. When you opened it you didn't expect what you were seeing. It was a picnic basket with a bouquet of red carnations wrapped in brown kraft paper. Inside laid a beautiful plate of chocolate waffles with strawberries on top and just beside it there was a small pink bag with sparkly tissue paper. 

You struggle getting the basket inside without it tumbling to the ground. Shawn is laughing at the sound of you grunting trying to lift the basket onto the kitchen counter. “Babe, stop laughing. If you make me laugh my arms get even more weak.” you comment laughing. “I’ll stop. Damn… I really miss you.” you could tell he was telling the truth from the change in his tone. “Do you see a little bag?” he asks. “Yes. I am opening it now.” The tissue paper ruffles as you take it out of the bag revealing the inside. “Omg! Shawn!” you scream. 

You take the item out. You feel your face getting instantly red. “I wish I could see your face right now.” He responds playfully. You’ve never owned a toy before of any shape or form…not even vibrating panties. Well, there is clearly a first time for everything. 

“Umm… Should I put them on?” you ask him nervously. “Yes, but first I am switching to FaceTime.” The phone rings changing into FaceTime. You answer the phone and place it leaning on a vase in your kitchen counter. This way Shawn could get a good view of everything. The black laced fabric tickles your soft skin as you put them on. “Oh- they look so good on you.” he says as he comes into view. His hands flew to rest on his head. “I love how you look with just a top and panties.” he says, biting his lip. 

You feel so good when he talks that way about you. You love when he reassures you. 

“Doesn't this need a remote?” you ask him. “Yes, I have it…It’s an app on my phone so I can control it at anytime, anywhere. Saying this, I want you to wear them all day.”  he responds with a smirk on his face. “You are so bad” you respond. “Look, I have to go now, but please don’t take them off, okay?” he says. “Okay. Bye. I love you” you respond. “I love you.” he says as he hangs up. 

The fact of having to wear this all day knowing that it could go off at any given moment gave you massive anxiety. You needed to get some stuff done for the apartment before Shawn came back from the guy’s trip, so you went to the grocery store. You threw on some sweatpants and one of his baggy white shirts to try and disguise the fact that there is a bullet sized vibrator inside your panties.  

Arriving at the grocery store everything is running smoothly. He still hasn't activated it. At this point you thought it was all a joke and he really wasn't going to do anything. He probably wanted you to die of anticipation or embarrassment. You proceed to cross things off your list. This was going to take a while because you took the shopping cart with the bad wheel. Every movement you made a squeak followed.

 You found yourself at the cereal aisle when a subtle buzz started coming from your pants. “Oh- fuck.” you said out loud. The old lady next to you stared at you with a serious face. “These prices are crazy right?” you said to her trying to hide that your man was having a field day in your pants. Shawn was going crazy with the buttons, alternating from slow to fast. You can’t deny it felt so good, but this can’t be happening right now. Not at the grocery store. You grab the cereal and sprint to the cash register to pay for the few items you crossed off. 

Luckily there weren't a lot of people in line. You crossed your legs and acted like you really needed to pee. Hopefully, this would help you distract yourself. 

You finally paid for everything, grabbed the bags and fast walked to your car. “God. Fuck.” you screamed getting into your car. You rested your head on the steering wheel to hide your face from the people walking up and down the parking lot as you came in your panties. “Wtf?!” you said laughing. You grabbed your phone to text Shawn.

Phone messages read:

Shawn: How was it? 

y/n: I came in my car at the grocery store parking lot. 

Shawn: Baby, you are so bad. 

y/n: Shut up! I love you.

[shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean]

"Tell me how do you like it?"

"You like it rough? intense?"

"Yes." She breathed down his neck.

Lost in Ecstasy

(Blurb)

I'm back!! I'm so sorry anon for taking so so long to write this. It's probably been over a year. I was going through a lot and wasn't in the headspace to write at all. But I'll try being consistent now. I took the liberty to modify the ask a little bit. Hope you like it.

Warnings : smut, age-gap, early 30s!reader × late 20s!Shawn

Soft, dim lighting casts a sensual glow throughout the room, illuminating the figures of Shawn and Y/N. Their bodies are intertwined, their breaths heavy with desire.

Y/N, her voice low and filled with anticipation, whispers into Shawn's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Tell me, Shawn. How do you like it?"

Shawn's eyes meet Y/N's, his desire evident as he responds, his voice husky.

"I like it rough. Intense. I want to lose myself in the moment with you."

Y/N's lips trace a path along Shawn's neck, her touch igniting a fire within him.

"Mmm, yes." She bites gently at his earlobe, sending a surge of electricity through his body. Their bodies press closer together, their connection intensifying with each passing moment.

The room fills with the sounds of their mutual exploration, a symphony of pleasure and desire. Their movements become more urgent, a dance of ecstasy and fulfillment.

In the midst of their shared passion, they lose themselves in the moment, reveling in the raw intensity of their connection. Skin against skin, their bodies merge, fueled by a hunger that can only be sated by each other.

Breaths mingling, they push the boundaries, exploring the depths of their desires. Each touch, each whisper, brings them closer to the edge of bliss.

The room becomes a sanctuary for their unyielding passion, a place where inhibitions dissolve, and their deepest fantasies find expression.

Time seems to stand still as their bodies move in perfect harmony, seeking pleasure and surrender. In this intimate space, they find solace, fulfillment, and a profound connection that transcends the physical realm.

As their climax approaches, their cries of ecstasy fill the air, a testament to the intensity and satisfaction they find in each other's arms.

Finally spent, they collapse into a tangled embrace, their bodies still humming with the lingering echoes of their passion.

Breathing heavily, Y/N and Shawn lay in each other's arms, their bodies basking in the afterglow of their passionate encounter. Their eyes meet, a shared understanding passing between them.

In the silence of the room, they find solace in their connection, knowing that their desires are fulfilled and their souls entwined.

[yournameoneverypage]

Falling Forward

Shawn Mendes x Reader. Angst, fluff.

Word Count: ~2.6k

A/N: It may be an “anon”, but I know who requested this. (She’s one of my besties.) 😉 I hope you like it, bub, especially since you requested it so long ago! I’m sorry it took me way too effing long to get it written. 😕 Call it a very belated birthday gift. 😋

So, I didn’t follow the prompt exactly. Well, I did, but I distorted the perception a bit? (That's probably not the best description, but I think you'll see what I mean.) I tried with the angst, I really did, but I feel like my angst is never really all that angsty.

~ ❤️ ~

You were sitting at your desk, rubbing your eyes, when you sensed you were no longer alone. You might’ve been startled by how he’d snuck up on you if you hadn’t smelled his cologne. You could find him in the dark just by his scent alone. It was maddening, because you hated how much you loved it.

Sure enough, you swiveled your chair to see Shawn standing in the doorway of your room, leaning against the frame.

“What are you doing here?” you said in greeting, trying to keep your tone indifferent. Your voice often tried to betray you in his presence; it was a genuine struggle.

He shrugged the shoulder not leaning against the door. “I came to see if you wanted to hang out for a bit.”

“Maya isn’t here.”

You thought maybe you simply imagined the... hurt that flitted through his honey brown eyes before he said, “Yeah, I caught her on her way out. Who do you think let me in?”

///

Maya was your best friend, who Shawn had had a thing for ever since you’d met him nearly six months earlier through a mutual friend who you had no idea had any clout whatsoever. You suppose, that was the point. Jaiden wasn’t the type of guy to just throw facts around like, ‘yeah, Shawn Mendes is a friend of mine’. You had to earn his trust before he let you completely into his inner circle.

Apparently you had finally managed to do so the night you found yourselves all at the same bar and being introduced to the beautiful, bright-eyed, pink-cheeked, affable popstar.

Maya and Shawn instantly connected. You were happy for her, of course, but you had liked him for a while, had been a fan of his longer than she had, and well before you had ever met him. You had to remind yourself that she was your best friend and “dibs” was for children.

You did your best to shake off your disappointment, while Shawn tried his hardest to dispel your sometimes debilitating shyness.

There was one moment, one brief, shining moment, just as you were truly starting to relax in his presence and open up, when you thought maybe, just maybe, the tiny spark you had thought you felt flare between the two of you might be realized, but then Maya made a slightly suggestive comment and snatched away his attention.

Even though you knew she hadn't purposely done so, - Maya was an outrageous flirt, - it left you cold and on the verge of tears. As you willed away the wetness of your eyes, and forced yourself to smile, you felt a wall around your heart begin to build and fortify.

You said your goodbyes shortly thereafter, but not before Shawn asked for Maya’s number. You excused yourself for the ladies' room, not wanting to witness the very possibility of anything more between them.

///

You never felt excluded from conversations whenever you found yourselves spending time with Shawn, and quickly settled into the banter that flowed freely between you, but you did feel like you sat stuck slightly along the circumference of Shawn and Maya's little flirtation bubble. You could only take so much before you made your excuses to leave them to their privacy.

You wondered how much longer it would be before they hooked up. You were surprised it hadn't happened already. You didn't know how you were going to handle it once they did. You would have to make yourself scarce when they began dating, and find other places to crash before he started staying over. You wouldn’t begrudge Maya for having a sex life with Shawn, but you knew it would kill you if you had to see the proof of it standing in his underwear in your kitchen afterwards.

Your heart tightened in your chest and you forced those thoughts away.

You almost questioned why he had chosen to stay then to entertain you, but you didn't want to see that look again. It made your skin itch uncomfortably.

It wasn’t as if you hadn’t hung out alone together before, but the texting was easier. You texted all the time about things from mundane to thought-provoking. You loved it when it was just the two of you, even though you held that close to your chest, but simultaneously you hated it because, in these instances, all the stronger, more-than-friends feelings you had for him tried even harder to surface. It was easier for you to talk to him when there was distance and a screen between you.

If only you were selfish and could just take what you so desperately wanted.

If only you were brave enough.

How would he react if you did, and what would that do to both your friendships, with him and especially Maya? It wasn't worth the risk.

“You could’ve called first?” you suggested, falling into your usual bantering to try to alleviate your sudden discomfiture, spinning back toward your laptop.

“Do I ever call?” he chuckled.

Touché. Your apartment was near his favorite coffee shop. As soon as he learned that, he started coming by all the time.

“You should just give me a key at this point,” he smirked. “Besides, I knew you’d be home,” he said, pushing off the frame and crossing your room.

“Because my life is oh, so boring?”

“Because I know you have a deadline for Monday and would be working through the weekend.” He set a to-go cup beside you.

You sighed and tilted your head back to look up at him. “Thank you.” You brought the cup to your lips and took a tentative sip. Of course, it was your favorite.

Shawn placed his large hands on your shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. Your stomach flipped. From the rush of caffeine, obviously, not his touch. “All that caffeine probably isn’t good on an empty stomach. When was the last time you ate anything?” He raised an eyebrow when you took too long to answer. “Mhm,” he smirked. “That’s what I thought. Take a break, sweetheart. I’ll make you something to eat.”

Your heart skipped whenever he called you ‘sweetheart', which was both too often and not nearly enough. Your heart was a traitor, too.

When Shawn was gone, you sighed and tried to refocus on your work. It was futile now that the man you were in love with was only two rooms away. It was getting more difficult with every passing day to bury your feelings.

You felt a flare of anxiety, nearly overwhelming in its intensity. This was not the time to fall apart. You didn't have the luxury this afternoon of leaving him with Maya and fleeing. You couldn't let him see your vulnerabilities or he wouldn't stop till he pulled everything out of you that you were trying to hide from him.

Breathe. Just breathe…

Thankfully, upon his return, you had calmed yourself down and the attack had retreated. You pretended to be engrossed in your assignment but if Shawn had paid any attention to your laptop screen, he'd easily see you hadn't made a stitch of progress since he disappeared to the kitchen.

“What happened to ‘take a break’?”

You held your hands up in surrender. “Fine.”

He snapped your laptop shut, - he didn't have to ask if you saved your work as he knew you were a little OCD about that, - and set a bowl of noodles and two chocolate chip cookies before you. He knew you better than he should as someone else’s soon-to-be boyfriend. Your comfort foods, where you carried your stress, how much you loved anything chocolate.

You reached for the cookies.

"Noodles first," he playfully reprimanded.

You scowled. He just smirked and threw himself across your bed, languorously stretching his long frame out. Damn it. Now your bed was going to smell like him.

Shawn snagged your journal from its current place on your nightstand. It was your own fault, really, for leaving it out, in plain sight. “What's this?”

“Nothing.” You made to snatch it out of his hands, but then you thought, why bother? You never wrote his name in your journal, or the name of the friend who he belonged to. He would never know the staggering crush you had was on him.

Even though your face burned hot, you didn't stop him from cracking it open, - you think you secretly wanted to see if he'd figure it out, - and busied yourself by inhaling your noodles even though they were still a little too hot.

"'There must be a reason why the greatest love stories never have a happy ending.' Well, that’s bleak."

"We can't all be optimists."

Shawn rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Says the biggest optimist I know."

He had you there. You were normally a wide-eyed and hopeful, glass-half-full kind of person.

“'Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right out of your lungs.'" Without reading the actual entry that followed, he flipped to another page. "'What’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?'"

Most of your entries began with a sentence or quote that reflected your mindset on that particular day.

His eyes stayed locked on your neat scrawl, his thumb and index finger poised to turn another page, as he cleared his throat and asked, "Who's the guy? Do I know him?" He finally looked up at your silence.

Your answer was to lower your eyes, shrug noncommittally, and stuff one of the cookies into your mouth.

You wondered which passage it was that caused Shawn to abruptly close the small, leather book and mutter, "You should've told me not to read it."

"I shouldn't have to. Are you happy now? Curiosity quelled?" You immediately regretted your words and tone. You had been trying for sarcasm but it came out too harsh. You were normally quick to apologize, but you were suddenly equal parts frustrated, terrified, and annoyed.

"Look," you cleared your throat and took a deep breath to steady your voice. "I should really focus on getting this assignment done." You can't be here anymore. I'm not strong enough. Not today. "Thanks for the coffee, and- and noodles, and cookies. I should be able to push through now, so…"

"Yeah, okay." Shawn stood and began to leave. He paused in the doorway. "You don't ever have to thank me for taking care of you. As someone who…"

You felt the wall around your heart fissure and you held your breath, balancing between hope and heartbreak.

But instead of completing his thought, he only sighed. "Don't work too hard." And then he was gone.

///

Shawn met Maya at the café beside the coffee shop.

She knew it hadn't gone well with the way he stalked toward the corner she'd settled into. She raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

Shawn just growled and tugged the curls that had found themselves twisted in his hand. "She's definitely into someone; it's just not me," he sighed wistfully, squeezing into the booth that was too small for his 6'3" frame. He dropped his head into his palms and rubbed his eyes. "Her journal is one long, unrequited love letter."

"You read her journal??"

"In my defense, I didn’t know it was her journal. At first.”

"You read her journal."

"I know, I know. But she didn't stop me! I just- I thought maybe, maybe, I'd see my name in there.”

"Boys are so dumb," Maya huffed, sliding out of the booth and tossing a twenty onto its surface. "Girls too, for that matter."

"Where are you going?"

"To put an end to this. I'm tired of waiting for you two to get your shit together."

"What?"

"It's you, stupid."

"What is?"

"The boy she's writing about."

///

Your door was still open. "Give it over," Maya demanded upon entering your room.

"Give what over?"

She glowered at you.

"He told you. Of course he told you. No. Just go. Just… leave me alone."

"Like hell. Give it."

"Does my privacy not mean anything to anyone??" But still you retrieved your journal.

"You let Shawn read it, but I'm your best friend."

You tossed it on your bed toward Maya, who quickly snatched it up and began to page through it. “Ha! I fucking love being right! Bub, why didn’t you tell me??"

Your eyes began to water. Maya took your hand and pulled you toward your bed. She settled herself cross-legged in the middle of it, facing you as you assumed the same position.

"Why didn't you tell me you’re in love with Shawn?” Maya asked softly.

You nearly collapsed with the relief of not having to hold it in anymore, of not having to pretend. Finally, the tears spilled over. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" She reached for you to swipe them away. "What is there to be sorry for?"

"What do you mean 'why'?? You two are…" You completed your thought with a gesture.

Maya immediately connected all the dots. Every single one of them. "Oh, honey…" She then laughed. "You are so oblivious, babe."

"Gee, thanks."

"He's not into me. He's into you."

"No, no, no, no, no," you chanted, rising from your bed and beginning to pace around your room. Your entire world had abruptly flipped upside down and you were grasping for a way to right things again, because this was just… too much. If your unrequited love wasn’t as unrequited as you thought… "But you two flirt all the time."

"I flirt with everyone, hon, which you're well aware of. So does he. It's just fun for us; it doesn't mean anything." A realization suddenly dawned on her. "Shit. I'm so sorry, bub. I never considered how it must've looked to you… You must hate me."

"Of course not," you exhaled. *It's just- I always thought- when he started coming around I thought, he's just being nice. Get in good with the best friend, you know?"

"You're right in your assumption, but he doesn't hang with you because of me, he hangs with me because of you. It always frustrates him when you disappear on us. You've really done a number on his confidence, hon, and his heart... He's crazy about you, and he thinks you're desperately into someone else. You should probably correct that, hm?"

///

Shawn stood in your doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "Hi."

You were as far away from the door as you could get, twisting the rings on your fingers. "Hi."

“Permission to enter?”

You nodded.

He took a few tentative steps forward and closed the door behind him. With the audible click, your heart quickened. He paused beside your dresser and picked up your small, metal infinity cube. He changed its shape before setting it back in its place and clearing his throat.

“Maya said you had something to tell me.”

“I’m sorry about how I spoke to you earlier.” That’s not what you knew she’d meant and what he was expecting to hear, but you weren’t ready to acknowledge anything else in that moment.

“I’m sorry, too. I should’ve stopped reading your journal the second I realized that’s what it was.”

How had you found yourself standing before him? Had he moved, or had you?

“You didn’t stop me. Why?”

“Shawn…”

“Say it.”

“I- I think maybe you know why?” you muttered, blush growing darker, and lowered your eyes.

His chin started to tilt toward you. His lips parted.

“What are you doing?” you whispered.

"It's not obvious?" he hummed, touching the tip of his nose to yours.

You were fighting between stepping back or falling forward. “Shawn…”

“Just tell me that it’s me.” His lips brushed yours, testing. They were soft, softer than you could have imagined.

“It’s you,” you breathed, rising to your tiptoes and winding your hands in his hair, as you’d wanted to do since the first time you met, and you brought his mouth back to yours.

~ * ~

@chocochipcookie305 @mendesblurb @monikamendes @mendesficsxbombay @silverswallow @misti-ka @fallinallinshawn @hiding-behind-a-flower @benito-mi-vida

[bonobochick]

Thoughts on #Elite7

I finished up Elite S7 and I have some thoughts with some gifs. 🥹

Positives:

Rocio got story and screentime. 🎉 I hated seeing her chase after Bilal's worthless ass in S6 cause he didn't even like her & constantly disrespected her yet as soon as he found out her fam is rich, he started singing a different tune. Rocio didn't get as much as I wanted in terms of screentime but enough that she got famliy drama with her mom's illicit activities + romantic drama with Eric. Nico's cousin Eric showed up this season and he's got issues. Rocio & Eric had good chem (much more chem IMO that he has with Chloe) in their attraction to each other.

Eric messes up more than a few times with her yet how he treats her shows care and actual feelings, not just sexual desire. What Elite was building up with Rocio & Eric was love as opposed to what he had with Chloe, which was vices + sex. Sadly, I think this romance with Eric & Rocio will only exist in S7, which is unfortunate with all that good chem and decent build up. 😮‍💨

2) The surprise appearance of Fiks from Blood and Water! I didn't know about the crossover so it was good to see her. I know Ivan will be in S4 of Blood and Water.

3) I like the crew of Nico, Eric, & Rocio. They have a nice vibe together, good times and bad times, I would say more of this in S8 but I've read that Rocio won't be in S8 so I'll have to enjoy the beginnings of a solid crew that I got in S7 since I'm about to get nothing in S8. I thought the scenes with Nico & his cousin re: Eric's mental health issues were absorbing too. Eric wanted to do better but hated how he felt being on meds. As his uncle said, it's about figuring out the right cocktail to help him with the highs and lows but Eric struggled with patience in that because of the side effects.

4) I adore Ivan so I was glad to see him on the mend from the accident. He's still heartbroken over Patrick's exit and the death of Cruz so much of S7 is him trying to move past his grief. He does that in the form of Joel which is in the next section.

Neutral / Indifferent:

1) Omar / Joel / Ivan... I've already admitted I adore Ivan but for full disclosure, I'm BIG on Patrivan so anything else for them with anyone else was always going to be an uphill battle. I also do not like Omar ever since he cheated with Malik and didn't even apologize to Nadia about it. All this said... I didn't hate this story. I thought it was interesting to show Omar's depression from what happened to Samu but the show spent a little bit too much time with all the back and forth in this story. Joel is alright and his chem with both guys is fine. I just wasn't invested in this triangle and all the angst but it's not a bad story. Dalmar is MVP in it.

2) Chloe and Carmen: I wanted Ivan's mother to show up and Carmen did. She also brought along Ivan's half-sister (to which I need to do some age checking cause pregnancies take time!) named Chloe. Carmen is a golddigger and it made sense why Cruz paid her to stay away from Ivan. That doesn't mean that Ivan didn't have a moment where he got to know his mother a little TOO well. ahem. The drama here with Ivan's new family had potential and was messy but I... didn't care for Chloe's everything is sbout sex story, especially with Eric but also with Raul. All it did was make me roll my eyes a lot in annoyance. The strong-arming that Chloe was irresistible / sexy got tired quickly, especially when she was walking around in her school uniform with her bra out as sign of that "sexiness." Come on!

3) All things Didac, Isadora, and their families: a lot going on and a lot of it didn't move me. Didac & Isadora are fine together so that wasn't the issue for me. The Romeo + Juliet story with the warring families didn't quite work for me. Took up lots of screentime too.

What did work? The hottie undercover cop. That was some nice eye candy.

4) Sonia & Nico... I wanted to see more of them after the S6 drama with Ari and they got shafted in terms of story + screentime toghether, particularly after Nico schtupped Chloe.

Negatives:

1) All things Sara and Raul.

I've hated these two characters since they both showed up in S6 but someone has a hard-on for them in the writers room, particularly Sara. I skipped over many of their scenes with each other and with others. Raul won't be in S8. I wish Sara wasn't as well but she'll be their stinking up things. 🗑️

[shawnmendesbuddy]

I posted 22 times in 2022

21 posts created (95%)

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#5

Realizations: Doubts Part 2

Summary: Reader is tasked with the job of being Shawn’s attorney for his lawsuit in a plagiarism case.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating, angst

Part 1

Two years had passed since the dreadful fight between Y/N and Shawn. After he walked out of the door, he also walked out of Y/N’s life.

Two days after the breakup there was a knock on her door. Brian stood on her porch holding a box full of her stuff that she had left at Shawn’s. He looked sheepish (but anyone would if they were sent with this task).

Brian and Y/N had met through Shawn, but they instantly clicked and became close friends. Y/N and Shawn always made sure to keep Brian out of their arguments so that he wouldn’t have to pick a side, but now that they were broken up, it seems that Shawn didn’t care about following this rule anymore. However, Brian was Shawn’s friend first so Y/N wasn’t going to fight over him.

“Woah, you look like shit,” Brian chuckled to lighten the mood, but Y/N shot him a death stare.

“Yea well that’s what happens when you break up with someone who you thought would be your end all be all. But thanks for the compliment. Is this the stuff that I left at his house?”

Y/N felt a pang of sadness jolt through her. She knew she should probably grab all of Shawn’s hoodies to return to him while Brian was here.

“Yea. He said that it hurt too much to look at.”

Y/N sighted. “Let me go grab his stuff while you’re here. I don’t want to have bring it over myself either.”

“No, don’t! He ummm he said that he didn’t want his stuff back.”

Y/N was confused, but nodded her head taking the box that Brian held out.

“I’m gonna miss you Bri.”

Brian smiled sadly at her. “Hey, it’s not the end of our friendship. I just don’t think we should talk for a few months, you know. Just til you both have some time to heal.”

Y/N nodded and Brian pulled her in for a hug. “You know he never wanted it to end this way. You can still fix this,” he whispered.

“I…he was right. I wasn’t spending as much time as I should with him. I got too busy. Maybe will find each other again someday, but for now, we both need to focus on our stuff.”

“You know he said the same thing.”

Y/N chuckled. “Guess that’s one of the things we can agree on then. Tell him I wish the best for him.”

“Of course.”

Y/N sat in her office pouring over a case when her phone rang. She quickly picked it up. “Hello this is Y/N L/N from L/N Law Firms. What can I do for you?”

“Umm hi. It’s been a while. This is Andrew.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “I’m sorry. Andrew who?”

“Oh! Sorry! This is Andrew Gertler. I’m Shawn’s manager.”

Y/N felt a pang of guilt run through her. She and Andrew hadn’t been particularly close, but Shawn had seen him as a brotherly figure and he was very fond of him.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! How are you?!”

“I’m doing ok. And actually that’s why I called you. I have a huge favor to ask and you can decline, but I would really appreciate if you didn’t.”

“Alright. What can I help you with?”

“Well, you probably won’t want to take this case, but we recently decided that Shawn should do a duet with this new upcoming artist. She agreed to it, but after the duet, she released new music. But it wasn’t hers. She stole Shawn’s music. But now it’s gotten into legal matters and…well Shaw was wondering if you would be the attorney for his case. He said that you are the best and he knows that he has a good chance at winning with you.”

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12 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#4

City Of Love

City of Love (Personal Assistant AU—Reversed Roles)

A/N: So, in this imagine, Shawn is Y/n’s personal assistant and Y/N is the popstar. Andrew is still her manager, but Brian is a girl, and his name is Brianna. Haha, hope you like it

Summary: Shawn is Y/N’s assistant and he’s head over heels for her. Does she feel the same for him?

Warnings: Swear Words

            There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Shawn was in love with the Y/N L/N. It was a known fact. The team knew, the fans knew it, hell even Y/N herself knew it. And it wasn’t like he tried to hide it either. Not in the loving glances he sent to her. Not in the long hugs he pulled her into at the end of her shows. Not in the soft kisses he planted on her forehead when she was feeling extra stressed. He was completely transparent.

            Y/N on the other hand was a different story. No one could really tell with her how she felt for him. And she did it on purpose. She couldn’t date her personal assistant. It would be too messy. Plus, he was her best friend. She couldn’t ruin that friendship for a relationship that might not even last.

So, when Shawn would give her those glances, she would roll her eyes at him and act oblivious. When he would pull her into those bear hugs, she would pat his back in a friendly way. And when he would kiss her on the forehead, she would brush it off as a kind act.

She was chastised by her friends, her team, and her family. “You can’t keep letting him wander around you like a lovesick puppy. Just put poor Shawn out of his misery. You have to tell him that you don’t feel that way about him.”

But she did feel that way about him. She just couldn’t. And she knew it was wrong to lead him on like she was, but she couldn’t do anything. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him in any way that she could get. And if that was just as a best friend/personal assistant then that was how it would have to be. And it wasn’t like he had ever told her about his true feelings for her. He had never actually said the words “I love you in more than a platonic way.” So, until that happened, she was perfectly fine with the way their relationship was.

*****

Shawn was mesmerized with the way she sung to the crowd so passionately. It honestly put him in a daze. “You’re so whipped,” Brianna laughed.

“Shut up,” he blushed. “If only I knew she felt the same. Does your best friend really have to be the most confusing women on this planet?”             “I ask myself the same question every day. I’m not even sure how she feels about you. She hasn’t ever come out and explicitly said she likes or dislikes you. It’s almost like she doesn’t know if she should like you or not. She’s undecided. It’s weird and so unlike her. You know her probably better than me. You spend more time with her. She’s never indecisive. She always seems to know what she wants. It’s only when it comes to you that she doesn’t. I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing.”

Shawn sighed. “Somedays I wonder if she even wants me here. And then others, it’s like I’m the only person that exists to her.”

Y/N finished her last song and came running off the stage. Shawn pulled her into one of his famous hugs while she patted his back. “You were amazing! Not that I don’t think every show is fantastic, but I think this one is your best one yet!”

“You say that every night,” she chuckled.

“Cause it’s true! It gets better every time you preform.”

She pulled away from the hug. “You’re only saying that because I am your boss.”

And there she went ruining a sweet moment. She always had to bring up her job around him and frankly it hurt his feelings. She was more than just his boss to him. She was his confidant, the person who knew him better than anyone else, the person who helped him through his anxiety.

She didn’t seem to notice the shift in his demeanor as Andrew patted her on the shoulder congratulating her. Brianna sent him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his arm.

This small gesture caught Y/N’s attention from the corner of her eye. She felt a small pang of jealously go through her, but it faded quickly when Shawn turned back to her and sent her one of his signature smiles.

*****

After showering and getting back on the tour bus, Y/N headed for the back of the bus towards her room. They were going to Paris the next day, the city of love. It had always been on Y/N’s bucket list to go there, but they had skipped it her last tour. To say she was excited was an understatement. She had even convinced Andrew to give them three extra days after her show in Paris for her and the team to explore. Andrew obliged even though everyone knew that he secretly wanted to explore France just as much as the rest of them.

“Knock, knock,” Shawn said outside her door.

“Come in.” She was laying on her bed reading a book in her sweatpants and one of Shawn’s old band t-shirts. And that was another thing that confused Shawn. She and Shawn would often sleep in the same bed together because they both enjoyed the comfort. Occasionally Shawn would lend her his shirts (which he thought she looked adorable in), and she would willingly accept. Which probably wasn’t an odd thing for best friends to do, but she rarely gave them back which pulled on Shawn’s heartstrings, making him think that maybe he had a chance.

She glanced up at him and felt her heart stop. He was shirtless, which wasn’t a new thing for her. But damn did he look fine tonight. His hair was a tousled mess, and it was so extremely attractive to her. She tried to hide her infatuation by glancing back down at her book, but she couldn’t focus on the words.

“Are you going to stay the night in here,” She asked him to try to seem nonchalant.

“Obviously! We still have that season of the bachelorette to finish! I’m so excited to see who she’s going to choose.”

Y/N shook her head at him. “And to think that three months ago you thought this show was obnoxious.” She thought it was sweet that he wanted to watch something with her.

“Hey, once it gets started it’s actually kind of entertaining. But at first glance it doesn’t seem that way.”

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16 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#3

Doubts

Summary: Y/N and Shawn both have big dreams, but what happens when those dreams interfere with the other person’s?

Warnings: None

Part 2

Y/N was a hardworking and talented woman. She longed to be a lawyer, and no one was going to stop her from doing just that. It took her years to finally get off Harvard’s wait list and get accepted into the college. After that, it had been a long and grueling process to get to where she was; an intern for one of the best law firms in the world.  

Along with working hard came distance from her friends and family. She struggled to keep in contact while she studied for many hours a day. However, there was one person who was relentless and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cut ties with him.  

Shawn Mendes was her amazing loving boyfriend whom she had tried to break up with at least five times during the span of her law school days. He refused to let her. He knew the only reason she was breaking up with him—or at least trying to—was because she felt bad that she couldn’t spend lots of time with him.  

Not only was their relationship strained because of her job, but Shawn was an international rock star! But he made time for Y/N. She was his top priority, even above music. Because he felt it in his heart that she was the one. And so, whenever she tried to break up with him, he told her that he would quit his music if she did. Because honestly and truly, his music was worth nothing if she wasn’t a part of his life.  

So, with all the sacrifices Shawn was making came a frustrated manager, a loss of fans, and an increase of hate comments left on his social media accounts. To say Shawn was struggling was an understatement. And that was part of the reason why Y/N wanted to break up with him.  

Regardless, Shawn wouldn’t let her. He was getting exhausted though. He just wanted to know for sure that Y/N wasn’t going to pull her bullshit “breaking up with him” spiel again. He was agitated because he felt like he was putting more into the relationship, which really sucked for him because he was making a lot of sacrifices for her.  

Y/N did love Shawn, but it was really hard for her to focus on him and her career at the same time. And to top it all off, she knew she wasn’t good enough for him. He was a household name, and she was just some law student hoping that something would come out of her internship.  

Because of these things, their relationship had been strained. Y/N found it easier to stop going to Shawn’s house after work to avoid the arguments, while Shawn would just end up going to her house instead where the fight would ensue.  

It was always sharp jabs thrown at each other, nothing too serious. Until one day when Shawn had been yelled at by his manager for showing up late for the studio again. Truth be told, he was trying to fix Y/N breakfast to apologize for the fight they had had the night before. Unfortunately, this only added to Shawn’s stress.  

He was fighting so hard for their relationship, but Y/N seemed like she wanted to give up. She said she was ‘tired,’ and that she ���couldn’t keep fighting anymore.’ And while Shawn understood her reasoning, he was fighting for her with everything in him.  

After being yelled at by Andrew, he got an unexpected call from Brian asking if he was still up for getting drinks that night. And as much as Shawn wanted to accept, he knew that he needed to fix his relationship first.  

He knew Y/N cared about him and really did want to be with him, but she was damaging their relationship by not trying to put Shawn first. And at this point, he was sick of it. He loved, he really did, but it was becoming too hard for him. He needed to confront her and communicate the way he felt to her.  

But when he arrived at her house that night to visit her, he didn’t expect to see a nice dinner made and her table set for two.  

“Surprise!” She greeted him in the kitchen, her hair tied in a bun at the top of her head. She had an apron on and flour coated her face. “I thought I would make us some dinner. We both need some quality time with each other.”  

Shawn smiled sweetly at her. It was moments like this that made him fight for her. “This is wonderful darling. Thank you so much!” He kissed her on the head and helped her finish off dinner.  

*** 

“So, Shawn as much as I love to cook for you, I actually invited you over tonight to tell you about how I got the job!”  

Ah yes, the job. The one she had been wanting for a year now. The one that made Shawn release the album four months late because he was so busy chasing her all around the country so she could get the job. He had sacrificed just as much, if not more for her job than she had.  

“Hmm,” he wanted to be happy for her, he truly did.  

But he also wanted to settle down and start a family and it was proving to be very difficult to do so when his girlfriend wasn’t around for more than five hours of the day. How was he supposed to find a time to propose to her in the chaos of it all?!  

He had brought the ring everywhere with him since he got it, which was five months ago. And every time he got close to her proposing, she seemed to always have to take a call or run into the office. It was infuriating.  

He knew he wasn’t perfect, and he also wasn’t around a lot, but he was around more than she was and that was saying something because his job was a lot more tasking than hers, truth be told.  

“That’s great darling,” he said. He tried to make it sound exciting, but he was also hiding a lot of disappointment. He was hoping she wasn’t going to get the job. She was very ambitious, and he loved her for that, but her having this job meant that they would spend even more time apart.  

“You’re not happy. You’re disappointed,” she said nervously. She had been on edge and didn’t want to tell him about her job because she had suspected this reaction. He was exhausted and she understood that. He didn’t want to keep chasing her around and she also understood that. But couldn’t he at least be happy for her, or at least pretend to?  

“No, honey I’m not. It’s just that…well I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but I’m going on tour again and I was hoping you would come with me. But with this new job…it’s just…. never mind.” He sighed defeatedly.  

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18 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#2

Mother’s Day

Summary: Mother’s Day is coming and reader and Shawn find out some exciting news

Warnings: None

“Shawn…I know we were planning on just relaxing for this week, but I really feel like we should go see your parents,” Y/N said, sitting down on the couch next to her husband of two months. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer into him, inhaling her sweet scent.  

“Hmm, what about your parents?” 

“We saw them last week. Plus, it’s Mother’s Day and we haven’t seen them since the wedding. I mean I know we’re in LA and they’re all the way in Canada, but I think we should go see them. And besides, don’t you want to see Liyah?”  

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighed resting his head on her neck and pressing gentle kisses to her shoulder. “I’ll book plane tickets tonight then. When do you want to leave?”  

“Well maybe we should talk to them first and make sure they don’t have anything going on,” She chuckled at her husband’s excitement.  

“Sure, I’ll call them right now.” Shawn pulled away from his wife’s touch and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He hit the call button on his dad’s contact.  

Manny picked up right away. “Hey dad! How’s it going?” Shawn put the phone on speaker and rested it on the coffee table, snaking his arms around his wife again.  

“What’s up son? It’s been a minute since you’ve called me, bud. How are you and Y/N?” 

“Hey Manny,” Y/N said, “We’re doing great! Your son is the best husband I could’ve ever asked for.” She felt Shawn lightly pinch her side in a teasing way.  

“I’m glad to hear that. What’re you guys up to?” 

“What are you and mom planning on doing for Mother’s Day? We want to fly out to see you guys!” 

“You’re kidding! You guys are flying out this week to see us?!” 

Y/N giggled. “I told you it was the right decision to make.” 

“Of course, it was Y/N’s idea. You always have perfect timing. We were actually thinking about flying out to see you guys, but if you want to come here, that would be great! When are you planning on getting here?” 

“Hmm well we want to be there for Mother’s Day so maybe we’ll fly out Thursday night and get there Friday morning?” Shawn looked to his wife to make sure she was okay with that.  

“Yeah, that sounds good,” she said.  

“I agree,” Manny said. “Alright well I’ll talk to you kids tomorrow and figure out the details. Love you!” 

“Love you too,” Y/N and Shawn said in unison.  

Shawn hung up the phone and laid his head down on the couch, pulling Y/N with him. She fell on top of him as they both giggled, staring into each other’s eyes passionately.  

*** 

            The next morning woke up with a stomachache. She ran to the toilet and threw up, Shawn quickly followed after her and held her hair back. He knelt next to her pulling her against his chest once she had finished.  

“Babe, you’ve been throwing up a lot lately. Do you think…maybe that you’re pregnant?”  

Shawn and Y/N had been trying to get pregnant since their wedding night, but they hadn’t had any luck. It had only been two months and they weren’t expecting to get pregnant right away, but with the amount of times Y/N had thrown up in the last week, it led Shawn to believe that maybe she was.  

“I…probably. If not, then something’s really wrong with me. So, we should just go get a few tests then.”  

“No, no babe you stay here. I’ll go get them. Let me run you a bath.”  

“You really don’t have to do that Shawn.” 

“I know, but I want to. C’mere, let me braid your hair.” He gently braided her hair down her back and started the bath for her. He added a lavender bath bomb to it and then kissed her lips a few times before pulling back.  

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50 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Five Senses of Falling in Love

Summary: Shawn falls completely in love with the reader

Warnings: None

Sight: 

It was the first celebrity party he had been invited to and he didn't have a clue how to talk to anyone. He was so star struck by everyone in the room his brain couldn't even begin to process how to start a conversation. He was only a 16-year-old boy for heaven's sakes. He didn't belong with these people. Or at least he felt like he didn't. 

She also happened to be 16, but this was not her first celebrity party. In fact, she had been going to these for years. She had gotten famous at the age of 12 when she went on America's Got Talent and won for her amazing singing. She was then recruited by a record label. She wrote two albums and then started her career as an actor. She was possibly the most famous teen of the decade. 

She had seen him from across the room and instantly blushed. He looked handsome in his black leather jacket, white t-shirt, and black pants. She couldn't deny that she had a little bit of a crush on him. So, when she saw him standing awkwardly in the corner biting his lips, she took the opportunity to talk to him. 

Shawn knew who she was. Of course he did! She was one of his biggest idols. But seeing her in person turned him speechless. He didn't know such beauty could exist in the world. His TV and photos could never do her justice. And when he saw her walking over to him, he panicked and started to walk in the direction of the bathroom until he tripped over his own two feet right in front of her. 

"Are you okay?" She had asked reaching out her hand to help him up. 

His breathing was shallow as he took it and stood up from the floor. "Thanks, and yeah, I'm okay." 

"Is this your first celeb party?" 

Shawn nodded shyly. "Is it really that obvious." 

She shook her head. "No, not really. You just look exactly like how I felt when I went to my first party. It's super nerve-wracking especially when you don't know anyone in the industry and don't want to get involved with the wrong people." "Yeah I think I've already made a fool out of myself, and I've barely even spoken." 

"Don't worry, it's normal to feel like that. I still feel like that sometimes. It's our ego that makes us feel this way, you know. When you first walk into the party you feel on top of the world, like nothing can bring you down. You think you're the coolest person here because you got invited to a celebrity party. And then the first two minutes pass, and if they don't go bad, then something is definitely wrong. 

"And then you realize that you're just a normal person with normal people who just so happened to get some of the same opportunities. But seriously, there are some people who walk around here that they are better than you when you are literally at the same party as them and you're famous, just like them. 

"Sorry, did I overwhelm you," and she sent him the most drop-dead gorgeous smile he had ever seen. 

*** 

Sound: 

Y/N and Shawn ended up talking the whole rest of the party and the night ended in them exchanging numbers and promising to hang out again soon. After that night, they became as close as any two people could become. 

Y/N took Shawn on tour with her as her opening act and it allowed them to become infinitely closer to each other. 

It was the first show of Y/N's world tour and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He really wanted to impress her and her fans, but he was worried that he wasn't good enough to be performing at a Y/N L/N concert! 

At his five-minute call time he exited his dressing room and made his way to the stage entrance. "Alright Shawn, you've done lots of performances before. This is nothing different. You're going to do fantastic!" His manager, Andrew, encouraged him. 

Shawn nodded his head, unable to speak. He feared that if he did, he would vomit all over the ground. He longed for his mother to embrace him and whisper into his ear that he was her 'special boy.' Her words always brought comfort to him. 

He heard feet pounding against the floor behind him and when he turned around, he saw Y/N hurtling towards him full speed. When she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck wrapping him in a bear hug. 

"You're going to do amazing out there. You're so talented and you know it. And that's all you have to do, prove to yourself that you can do this. You don't have to prove anything to me or anyone out there. We already see your potential or else you wouldn't be here. I know how it feels to think that you're not good enough, but once you let your guard down, you realize 'yeah, I'm just a human who loves music and I'm doing what I love.'" 

"Shawn, one minute until you're on stage!" 

The sound of screaming increased out in the crowd and Shawn felt his breathing quicken again. Y/N grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to look at her. 

"Hey, hey. Just listen to my voice. Match your breathing to mine. Just breathe. In....out....in....out," and Shawn slowly felt his heart rate slow down listening to the beautiful sound of her voice. 

Touch: 

It had been a few years since Y/N and Shawn went on tour together, but they were still as close as peas in a pod. They didn't see each other as much as they used to anymore, but they tried to keep in contact as best as they could. 

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60 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[brianc521]

Flannel | Brian Craigen

It’s cold, that’s all she knows at this moment as she blinks her eyes open. Really cold. She blinks a few more times, trying to get the heavy weight in each eyelid to lessen just enough to hold them up and open. Once she’s successful she does a mental checklist about her surroundings. 

Blue plaid comforter, light blue sheets, arm under her head, plain white walls, bedside table with a picture of her in a frame next to two phones and a watch. She’s at Brians, and he’s stolen all the blankets. Leaving her cold and smiling at how her sleepy boy looks.

He’s shirtless, and curled into the blankets like a little kid with their boppy. His lashes are fluttering on his cheeks, making him look so peaceful and almost childlike with innocence. She leans over to reach for her phone, that’s buzzing and playing ‘Location’ by Khalid softly. He gives her a hard time for that being her alarm sound but her argument is;

“Why would you want to wake up to something so loud and obnoxious when you can wake to the soft soothing sounds of Khalid?”

Turning her alarm off she kisses each of Brian's eyelids softly to ensure he’s still having good dreams.  

She didn’t mean to spend the night, but he’d had a headache the night prior and she’d come over after work to take care of her boy. He needed a little tender loving care and she was more than willing considering he does the same to her on the daily. 

She sneakily slips out of bed, making sure to put a pillow on his outstretched arm that way when he goes to cuddle in he’ll have something to hold.

On the way to the bathroom she grabs her jeans from the day before, her bra and cami tank top. She makes sure to shut the bathroom door in the slowest, softest way she can. She goes about using the toilet, washing her hands (spread love not germs, her work’s motto), brush her teeth, swipe on some mascara, and put her hair in a suitable ponytail for the day. After dressing she makes her way to his closet and reaches for one of his white shirts, smiling at the promise he made the night before that she could borrow one if it meant she would stay with him for the night. 

It’s then her eyes land on the fateful flannel shirt hung up in his closet. He’s been wearing it more often now that it’s getting a bit colder outside. He claims that it’s not cold enough for big heavy coats, but just chilly enough for something extra to wear. All she knows is that he makes it look so snuggly and cozy and most of the time she just wants to cuddle into it. 

She goes to reach for it, and then suddenly remembers she’s not reaching into her closet. She looks back over her shoulder at the sleeping boy and sighs. Maybe she could just steal it for the day, would he even notice? Probably, she thinks to herself, he’s having lunch with Connor and Shawn, he’ll want to wear it. But she really wants it this morning. 

She fights herself, but before she can really truly say no to herself she’s crouching beside him. Reaching out and softly caressing his face, she thumbs over the dotted freckles on his cheek. He hums a little, leaning closer into her hand, his lips even twitch in a smile.

“Baby,” She whispers, tapping her thumb softly a few times.

She gets a grunt in return, and giggles a little because the roles are usually reversed here. She’s the grumpy one in the morning, and he’s the cheery one. 

“Baby,” She says again, already feeling bad for waking him.

“Hmm?” He asks, breathing deeply in his sleepy state. 

“Can I borrow your blue flannel today?” She whispers. 

It’s almost three beats before he answers and she’s trying to hide her happy smile at how cute he is. 

“Gimme a kiss and it’s yours.” His voice is raspy, so thickly lined with sleep that she struggles to not want to fall right back into the warm bed with him. 

Leaning forward she plants a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and quickly gets up to grab the flannel. If she wants to stop to get coffee before her shift starts she needs to leave within minutes. She turns quickly at groaning and the dramatic act of a hand pushing out of the heap of blankets making grabby motions at her. 

She giggles again, thinking back to a time when she never once giggled at anything, and goes to him. “Bye Baby, I love you, have a wonderful day.” She leans down and kisses him, smiling against his lips. 

She grabs her purse and softly walks out of his room, making sure to shut the door behind her. Once out in his living room she slips her shoes on, reaches for a muffin on the counter and quickly scribbles out a note. 

‘Thanks again for the flannel. I think Sleepy Brian is my new favorite Brian. I love you!’ 

Before rushing out into the cold, hoping to get to her car before the cool bite of the morning catches her. Driving away she smiles at the thought that her boy is safely tucked into his bed, dreaming the morning away.

[wondershawns]

Turning Tables - Part 2 (Chapter 1) [R.M.]

A/N: It’s finally here! The second part of TT is starting and I can’t wait for you guys to read it!

*I divided the series into parts so please note that while this is chapter 1 there has already been a part 1 with 12 chapters and you can find them all in my masterlist!*

If you want some extra feels while reading listen to Same Room by JP Saxe

Word count: 2205

Warnings: Weed, a little bit of smut, heartbreak

“I didn’t think I’d hear from you again,” The brunette lit the joint, puffs of smoke leaving her lips until she was ready to pass it to him. Her balcony was small but it was good enough for two people to sit, drink and smoke. The view was shitty since buildings had been built all around that one but she didn’t mind it, it was her home, and the view was the last thing on Raul’s mind.

“I didn’t think you’d reply,” He accepted it, letting the smoke cloud his mind and numb his pain.

He did the one thing he used to do to take his mind off things before he found you. He hit up his sex friend and asked if she was down to meet. It was better than finding some random girl, at least he knew he was in some sort of safe space here. She always had good weed available and she wasn’t some random freak he didn’t want to risk meeting. It was easy, it was steady, it was good sex without any strings attached.

“There’s not a lot of people I like to reply to,” She admitted.

Raul was the exception to her rule, she never liked seeing an ex again, whether it was an ex that was only involved in sex or a real relationship. He happened to be good at sex, really good, he wasn’t selfish, he didn’t try to talk too much and she knew he wouldn’t fall for her.

She wasn’t interested in relationships, being serious wasn’t her thing, but she was unnaturally attractive. She was the kind of girl that wouldn’t be called the prettiest in the middle of other pictures, but the kind that could grasp anyone’s attention in a swarm of people. She got all kinds of attention, sweet, loving, sexy, scary, but she didn’t care for much of it.

Raul never wanted anything from her that wasn’t mutually beneficial, they had simple boundaries that created a relationship she appreciated. Things never changed between them, they met up regularly until they didn’t, then they hit each other up again without trouble.

The only change had been his relationship with you, something he quickly told her about so she would know he wouldn’t be available to meet anymore. She thought it was a shame, really, but she only shrugged and moved on to someone else, until he texted her again a couple of nights ago.

“Thought you and your girl were serious,” She approached the topic directly, waiting to find out if he’d talk or shut her down.

“We were,” He passed the joint back to her, but he didn’t develop any further.

It was obviously a sensitive subject, but he wasn’t telling her to shut up so she figured she could try to push it a little more. Their relationship was always two sided, he had helped her be distracted through tough times without complaint and it was her turn to do so.

They smoked for longer before she spoke again, letting the weed hit them both. He wasn’t the talkative type, their silence was comfortable, but she couldn’t help adding another comment.

“You look like you’re having a tough time.”

“Don’t you have anything stronger?” Raul took a last pull of the worn out joint, discarding it while the smoke left his mouth and dissipated in the wind.

Translation: fuck off. She didn’t take it personally, he was just Raul being Raul, but only in that aspect. Everything else that she had seen of him since he arrived was different from the Raul she had gotten to know.

“You know I do, and you also know you don’t take that kind of shit,” She wouldn’t give him anything, he didn’t want it, he just wanted some sort of addiction to replace the one he had to you.

“Maybe I want to now,”

“You’re already high, if you want something stronger I’ll give it to you, only if you tell me that sober,”

“Fuck this,” He sighed, knowing she was right.

He turned around to get back inside, pulling his sweatshirt off and getting rid of his trousers to lie back on her bed. He tucked his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling blankly.

“Come on Raul, I’ve never seen you so fucked up. You’ve never smoked that much, and you drank.” She sat on the edge of the bed, looking for how she could help him.

“I need to stop thinking,”

“When you walked in what you needed was sex and it’s the first thing you got, so how about we keep that going?”

“Yeah, let’s,”

“Take those off then.” She pushed at his hip to prompt him to undress while she did the same, taking a second before she went to straddle him.

It felt like he was barely there, but she didn’t care, they had never been anything serious, they had never even been friends. They only met up to smoke and fuck, it was their thing and he came over millions of times when she needed it. If it was his turn to need some attention to take his mind off whatever was bothering him she was happy to help.

She made out with him slowly, tasting the weed in his mouth as she rolled her hips, putting in some extra effort as she rode him. The lack of attention and reaction from him would have offended most people, but she knew better, this wasn’t about her, it was about him.

His body responded to her touch, his hips rolling up against hers, but his mind wasn’t in it, he could barely look at her like this. His mind was haunted by your image, it was your body he wanted on top of his, your breathing he wanted to affect, your lips he wanted to kiss, your moans he wanted to hear.

He eventually took the matter into his own hands, reversing the position to drive his hips harder into hers. He reached deeper and deeper with strong hard strokes until they were both panting and coming hard.

.

Men were terrible at sex.

It was the only conclusion you had managed to come to after so many nights of trying to meet new people wishing they’d help you stop thinking about Raul. Every time you felt their hands on you you thought ‘maybe this will do it’ but none of them really paid attention to you the way you needed them to. None would, none could.

Your bed always felt empty, but you couldn’t bring yourself to try again just to be filled with another sense of disappointment. They weren’t Raul. He was what you wanted, but it was too late for that, and all you could do when you went to bed was hold a pillow as you tried to sleep.

He was probably thriving without you, working like he always wanted to without you in the way. He didn’t have to give you attention, he didn’t have to try to arrange his shifts to suit you, he didn’t have to take days off for you, he didn’t have to stay up when he was exhausted to spend time with you.

It was probably easier, for him, he could do this until he found someone that would suit him better. Someone he could write post it notes on the fridge for. Someone he’d be able to talk to openly, someone who wouldn’t need so much attention. Someone who wouldn’t be so insecure, in constant need of reassurance.

“So are you coming?” Tina asked you, snapping you back into reality.

“What? Sorry, I kind of zoned out. Come where?”

“Yeah, I saw that. Shawn’s concert tomorrow night, everyone’s going, you said you might join,”

“Oh, um, I don’t know if I should,”

“Peter will go with Raul backstage, I’ll hang out with you in the crowd, it’s more fun. You won’t have to see him unless you stick around at the end,” She knew exactly what was holding you back, and she had already found a solution for you.

“Sure, yeah, I’ll go. I know Shawn likes the support.” You smiled, already knowing you’d have to prepare yourself in case you ran into Raul.

“Good, stay for dinner?”

.

The concert was incredible. It always was with Shawn, and Toronto had an extra bit of special magic that made it even better. Some songs stung harder than they should, the fans were screaming the lyrics back to Shawn but only few people knew that Raul was at the origin of the lyrics, and even fewer knew these songs were meant for you.

It hurt like hell, but with the adrenalin and the crowd it somehow felt good. You had avoided those songs at all cost on your own, and being forced to hear them again reminded you they weren’t yours anymore, just like Raul wasn’t yours.

He wasn’t yours but he was there, and by the end of the concert you knew you had gotten enough emotions for the night. Seeing him would only had to the pile of feelings you didn’t know how to deal with and you needed a way out.

“Tell Shawn thank you for me? I’ll text him, and probably call tomorrow or something, but I’m really tired tonight I think I should just go home.” You made up an excuse for Tina, you didn’t really need to, but it was better than addressing the elephant in the room.

“I will, you get home safe and text me when you’re there?”

“Sure thing,” You smiled, hugging her briefly before disappearing with the rest of the crowd.

Tina made her way backstage, showing her pass to the security guards and finding Peter and Raul already waiting for Shawn. He already talked to them for a second while she was on her way and disappeared into his dressing room to cool down for a minute.

She saw Raul’s eyes trail behind her when she came in, staying on the door for a bit longer before he looked down, disappointed to see her coming in on her own. He hated this, he hated knowing you couldn’t even stand being in the same room as him.

“She went home,” He heard Tina tell Peter.

“On her own?” Raul couldn’t help but jump in, biting his lip and wishing he hadn’t just said that. It wasn’t his place anymore, he wasn’t the one who cared about you anymore.

“I told her to text me, she’ll be fine,”

“Yeah, right,” He swallowed heavily, thankful when Shawn finally came to meet them with a towel around his neck and everyone erupted in cheers for him.

Focus on your brother. Focus on the people who want you around. He forced himself to stop thinking about you. You didn’t love him anymore, you didn’t even want to see him and it killed him to relive every moment he saw you in the past few months, the way your eyes glazed over him like he wasn’t even there.

He could still feel all of the pain that rose in his chest every time he thought of you, he was tempted to distract himself to forget it, but truth was it was all he had left of you. The memories and the pain that came with them reminded him you were real, and there was a time when he was lucky enough to have you.

He plastered a fake smile on his face for the rest of the night, it was one of the things he had become ridiculously good at. Everyone could look at him and think he was perfectly happy being here, no one could see through the walls he rebuilt after tearing them down for you. It was what was expected of him after almost a year anyway, normal people moved on from fucked up relationships much faster than that. He shouldn’t have been so caught up on you still, and he shouldn’t be dreading the one year mark so badly.

Four years with you, one year without. Why was it that he couldn’t go back to being the way he was before meeting you?

Not a single person in the room noticed his thoughts slipping away from what was going on, not even his brothers. It was the second thing Raul had gotten ridiculously good at, erasing himself. He could fade into the background so people’s eyes would just glaze over him, he could make himself small and unimportant so that he’d be left alone with his brooding thoughts.

You were counting the days too. Counting the days until it would be one year since the break up, since you stopped living with Raul, since your heart started constantly aching for someone you couldn’t have anymore. You didn’t talk about it, of course, it was crazy that you still cared about him after such a long time.

Your friends could understand that you didn’t want to see him, but they couldn’t understand that if you avoided him at all cost it was because you still loved him more than you had ever loved anyone. Being near him was just a painful reminder that he wasn’t yours to love anymore.

.

Sooooo I’m going to assume there won’t be too many people reading this cause it’s been a while since I posted for this series but thoughts? anyone?

Please reblog!

[violetsandfluff]

3:05 (shawn mendes)

a/n: ngl I sobbed while writing this? so read at your own risk ig. it’s angst until the angst is over, then it’s fluff. 3:05 made me cry so hard so i wrote this. it’s loosely inspired by both 3:05 and It’ll Be Okay. <3

tw: breakups, tears, kind of hard to read? lmao maybe that’s just my hormonal ass

word count: 2.4k

After two years together, Shawn and Y/N’s relationship was picture-perfect. Their lives consisted of long hours together every day, beginning with cuddles in the living room.

Y/N woke up each morning to the sound of Shawn strumming his guitar softly in the living room. She would shuffle out of their shared room and make her way to the couch, where he sat, shirtless, unshaven, and messy-haired. His face always broke into a wide grin upon seeing her, and without a second thought, he would set his guitar aside, opening his arms for her to crawl into.

“Good morning, sunshine. How did you sleep?” he would ask, and she would respond simply with good.

She would rest her head against his chest and listen as he rambled softly about whatever he was working on. Some days it was new song ideas, other days it was revising old songs and chord progressions. Regardless of the subject, she enjoyed listening to his smooth voice as his excitement grew. She could practically hear his smile as it blossomed on his features and the rosy blush as it crept onto his cheeks.

Once he ran out of early-morning thoughts to share with her, he would fall silent and busy himself tracing circles on her cheeks.

“Talk to me,” she would insist.

“I don’t have anything else to talk about,” he would protest.

Most mornings, he would play his guitar for her, and if she was lucky, he would sing to her. Something about his voice, especially at such intimate times, never failed to move her to tears.

“No need to cry, honey,” he would laugh as he noticed the glistening trails leading from her eyes. “I know it’s early, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”

All she could manage was a feeble chuckle in reply.

Some mornings she would make breakfast for him while he continued playing his guitar, and other mornings they would cook together. On special occasions, after she slept in, he would lift her up and set her on the counter to enjoy breakfast and a treat.

During the day, if Shawn wasn’t at the studio or one of his frequent interviews, he could be found with Y/N at the beach, the mall, or even in their backyard.

Everyone who knew them knew how inseparable they were. That’s why it was news to everyone when they suddenly called their relationship quits.

Y/N blamed it on falling out of love for him. Her words had fallen into Shawn’s ears like lead bricks.

“I’m sorry, Shawn,” she admitted slowly, “but I don’t feel the same about us anymore. I think we would be better off apart.”

Had he not been sitting down, his legs would have been too weak to hold him. The words spun around dizzily in his head, making them difficult to comprehend. He noticed tears springing to her eyes, but he wasn’t completely sure why. His head felt heavy and foggy, and he could hear his heart pumping blood around his body. It was a miracle his heart found a way to beat after that, aching the way it did.

Y/N went on to explain that she already had somewhere safe to stay and that she would be in good hands.

As soon as the words left her lips, Y/N broke down, burying her face in her hands. The hurt on his face made her stomach churn, but she couldn’t go back now without destroying his trust.

Shawn didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything, nor did he reach out to comfort her. He just sat in stunned silence, trying to process her words.

“I’m sorry,” she managed between choking sobs, “I’m so sorry, Shawn. You have every right to hate me after this, I’m sorry.”

Shawn neither forgave her or agreed to hate her. He just stared, not at her, rather the air in front of her, his jaw mildly agape.

It took forever for the reality of the situation to sink in.

Even as he watched her gather her belongings from every last corner of his condo, it didn’t sink in.

He recieved one last kiss before she left, along with a hug that lasted upwards of fifteen minutes.

She held onto him as tightly as her arms allowed, but all he could do was sling his arms around her lazily. He didn’t have it in him to do anything more.

She uttered profuse apology after profuse apology, but Shawn’s wrecked body refused to let it sink in. He watched from the door as she left, her belongings in tow as tears streamed down her cheeks. He stood in rigid, unmoving silence long after she’d disappeared, trying desperately to comprehend the day’s events.

Leaving was hard for her, but spending the night in her own bed was oddly comfortable. She was still wrapped up in Shawn’s sweatshirt, inhaling the scent that was inherently his. It was almost like he was there, holding her to his chest.

She had expected the first night to be harder, but it proved otherwise. Now she was certain leaving was the right choice.

Shawn, on the other hand, didn’t have such a good night.

By four am, he had concluded and accepted that she wasn’t coming back, not that night, at least. He wandered into the bedroom they had once shared. Illuminated by the moonlight that shone in through the gaping windows, he made out a pile on the bed. For a moment, his broken, sleep-deprived body thought it was Y/N’s outline beneath the covers. When he got closer, he realized it was her keys to his condo and a pile of almost all of the clothes she had stolen from him. Beneath the pile of sweatshirts and t-shirts was all of the jewelry he had bought her throughout the duration of their relationship. Among these were the necklace and earrings she wore daily.

Shawn fingered them in disbelief, vowing never to lose them. He slipped the earrings, small heart studs made of her birthstone, into his own ears, securing the backs tightly. He donned one of the many t-shirts in the pile, as well as the single pair of sweatpants before fastening the necklace around his neck and settling into his bed.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that she’d left her pillow behind. He wasn’t sure if it was on purpose on night, or if she’d be back for it, but he decided it would be his for the night. He curled up around it as if he were spooning it, and soon it was soaked by the tears that finally. streamed down his face. Tears had been burning in his eyes for hours, but he had blinked them back, waiting desperately for release.

Now, the floodgates were open and Shawn sobbed freely into the pillow, wishing Y/N was there to comfort him.

“Y/N,” he whispered into the darkness, praying for a response. “Y/N, baby, I need you.”

He half-expected her to show up in the bed beside him, apologizing profusely and pulling him delicately into her arms, telling him it was all a joke and that she never meant to hurt him.

At that point, he wouldn’t be angry in the slightest. He would be more relieved than ever. His heart would begin to beat again and blood would rush back to his brain. Once tears stopped flowing from his exhausted eyes, he would give her a hug and scold her.

But that never happened.

Every night got more difficult for her. She coped by going out, drinking, and enjoying life as a young, single woman. After a few casual hookups, when men hit on her, she wished Shawn was there to protect her, but alcohol made her very confrontational. Eventually, no men dared approach her in search of a night.

Every morning she woke up in someone else’s bed, her mind would hallucinate the sounds of Shawn’s guitar. She would sit up immediately, praying everything had been a dream. Then she’d see the strange men sleeping beside her and coil back in reproach. None of them could ever compare to her Shawn.

After a month away from him, she found herself to weak to go out. Her heart ached longingly for Shawn, the boy who had been hers for so long. The one night she forced herself to go out, she got so drunk she told her Uber driver to take her to Shawn’s house.

Shawn wondered who would be knocking on his door at one am on Sunday morning, but he brought himself to open it. He was more than surprised to see Y/N standing there, wearing a tight dress and too much makeup. He had to admit, he was more than impressed until he remembered how badly she’d hurt him. Without a word, he slammed the door, locking it again and going back to bed.

He had only begun to heal, but seeing her again put him back on square one. He rarely left the house anymore, and if he did it was as briefly and seldom as possible. Anything and everything reminded him of her, and he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t do anything anymore.

He couldn’t sing or play his guitar, and no song ideas popped into his mind. He had never been at such a loss for music, contributing to his feeling of worthlessness. His friends and family constantly told him not to beat himself up, that Y/N probably wasn’t the girl she’d pretended to be for the last two years, but their efforts upset him even more. After all, what kind of boyfriend wouldn’t know his own girlfriend?

He tried so many times to text her, but he never got through. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she’d blocked him, but it was still surreal.

Every time he thought about slamming the door on her, his heart ached. He couldn’t live like that anymore.

~~

As time went on, guilt grew like an ugly stain on Y/N’s conscience. She knew she needed to at least give Shawn an apology, but her stubborn will refused to allow her to unblock him.

She longed to fall asleep in his strong arms and wake up to the soft strumming of his guitar. He wanted to cuddle with him on the couch and help him make breakfast. She wanted to listen to his new music before anything else, and she wanted to walk around the mall with her hand enveloped comfortably by his.

These mundane activities that she once took for granted seemed like luxuries now. Now that she was on the outside, Shawn was an unattainable fantasy from another dimension. She would never touch him again, nor would she wake up to hear him playing his guitar softly from the living room. She would never touch her lips to his again, and she’d be lucky if she ever got to see him again.

So there she was, using a car she’d borrowed from a friend to drive to his house one last time. The sky was pitch black and no one else was on the roads. She knew the way to Shawn’s condo by heart, from anywhere in the world, but now she had no right to. She wouldn’t be surprised if he’d packed up and left.

All too soon, she found herself face to face with his door, her hand poised to knock. She stayed, frozen like that, for an absurd amount of time until she gathered the courage to knock. If by some miracle he let her in, she could use the excuse that she was there to collect her pillow.

Three feeble knocks echoed through Shawn’s sleep-fogged head. He rolled over, burying his face in his pillow to ward off the intrusion to his sleep, but it sounded again.

Sighing in resignation, he emerged from his cocoon of blankets and dragged his feet to the front door.

He resisted the urge to let his jaw drop as he took in the details that made her *her*. And his. Seeing her without makeup again reminded him of the many mornings they’d spent together in his living room, basking in each others’ company. And seeing her in his sweatshirt once more was almost too much to bear.

“How drunk are you?” he asked incredulously.

“Sober.”

The moment he saw tears forming in her eyes, he opened his arms for her to run into. He held her tenderly, as if she were a fragile valuable he was told to protect.

Neither of them said anything, but neither of them had to. Being back in each others’ company was all they needed.

Silent tears cascaded down Shawn’s face, making their way to Y/N’s hair. They both had so much to say to each other, but neither were capable of making any sound. Soft sniffles and breaths filled the air as they held each other in the doorway. Neither of them wanted to be the first to break the hug, but Shawn was the first to straighten.

“You seem tired,” he said bluntly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Come on.”

She followed him wordlessly to his bedroom, where he pulled her into bed beside him. After a moment, she located her pillow and got comfortable beside Shawn.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled.

“Come her and go to sleep,” Shawn said softly, opening his arms for her to snuggle into.

She cuddled up against him the way she had so many times before. She had no words to describe how badly she had missed that.

The two dozed off peacefully, but Shawn awoke a little after three o’clock to hear sniffling beside him.

“What is it, honey?” he asked softly.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated feverishly. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Tell me everything, baby,” he softened.

“I can’t,” she whimpered. “You wouldn’t love me anymore.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” she cried.

“Tell me everything,” he said again. “I’ll love you either way.”

“I can’t,” she murmered again. “I can’t.”

“Y/N, do you know how much I need you?”

“I’m sorry,” she whined. “But I can’t tell you right now.”

“Tell me a different time, then.” Shawn compromised. “I’ll be here for you in the morning.”

When Y/N woke up, she was discombobulated at best. It had been so long since she had woken up in that bed. Shawn had promised to be there in the morning when she woke up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she heard the familiarly soft sound of his guitar in the living room.

It didn’t take long for Shawn’s eyes to find you. When they did, his face broke into a soft smile.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said gently. “How did you sleep?”

~~~

Taglist: @chocochipcookie305 @fishingirl12 @monikamendes @pamelagramm @sonder444 @butlerbliss

[pinkpetalwaterimagine]

« I never stood a chance » (Shawn imagine)  

Hey!! here is an angst because I was in the mood I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ English is not my first language don't hesitate to point out some grammar points ❤️ and don't hesitate to write any prompts or requests 🌈

Word count : 1.6K

Summary : you thought he liked you back. apparently not.

You didn’t said that it was a date but it definitely was one. You had spent way too much time thinking about which outfit to put on, how to do your hair and what will happen during the night. The both of you had been friends for quite a while now, and you always thought that there was some ambiguity between the two of you and your friends thought so too. They would always tell you that the two of you should get together or that you acted like a couple. And maybe Shawn’s friends told him the same thing. All those signs made you thought that you stood a chance. You thought that you could be the one that he would end up with. Sure, you didn’t look like his ex girlfriends and sure you weren’t a big pop star that he would meet on a red carpet but you thought that your relationship was deeper than his fake smiles to people he saw once, he might think he genuinely liked them but you knew it was out of the goodness of his heart because if he spent more than three hours talking to them he would end up walking out of the conversation. 

You thought you were special to him. You thought you were the only one that he would send texts everyday, the only one that would receive gorgeous flowers every other day, the only one where he would stare in your eyes like he was scanning your soul and looking for all the feelings you had for him. So when he asked you to go out, just the two of you, which was not abnormal but far more formal than usual, you had thought « that’s it. That is the night that he is going to say something. » You were ready to lay bare your feelings for him. You were ready to be vulnerable enough so that the two of you would end up walking hand in hand to his car. His hand would have stayed on your thigh the whole drive to your house. His smile would have never left his face and when he would looked over you his smile would only grow. Unfortunately, the night didn’t went as you planned. 

You felt giddy when you receive a text from him an hour before he was supposed to pick you up : « I have a surprise for you :) » said the text. You didn’t answer but you knew all too well the familiar feeling of the small and nice knot at the bottom of your stomach. You were putting on the final touches on your outfit when the doorbell rang in your condo, startling you. You breathed in, shook your legs and arms to shake out the nerves at the same time before answering the door. 

You finally opened the door and was met with such a sight. Let’s be honest, you knew he looked good, you knew he was close to the figures of ancient roman god statues but you were always taken back by his beauty. He had went for a simple look but really effective in reflecting his handsomeness. The light brown jacket brought out his tan skin, and his basic black t shirt was like a second skin. He had a small bouquet of peonies, your favorites flowers. « Hey » he said in a low voice seeming as taken back as you were. You felt your cheeks getting warmer as you followed him in the hallway. 

You made small talk until reaching the lobby before he brought the « surprise » topic again. « Soo, about the surprise. » - he seemed really unsure and embarrassed which made you wonder what was it all about- « I know we said we were going out just the two of us, but she really wanted to come, and I’ve kept you in the dark for quite some time now so I think it’s time to tell you. And I’m sorry to spring that on you like that. » - you decided to cut him off before the poor boy ran out of breath- « Shawn, you are rambling. What’s your point ? » You were getting more and more anxious because of what he said. He hid something from you? What could it be? Obviously it involved a third party. You had an idea of what it might be but you didn’t really wanted to think about that. He took a deep breath, « Okay, here goes nothing, I thought it was time for you to meet my girlfriend. I think you might have seen her around but we were friends before going out so it might have been around that time. Anyway… » 

You felt like he punched you in the stomach, you were out of breath even though you didn’t move one bit. You were shocked. It was easily readable on your face but only you knew why. « Okay, you seem a bit a shock. Are you all right love? » as he said this nickname you thought back of every little memory you could encounter where it was the two of you and if you just misread the signs. Obviously you had misread them. You tried to hold the tears in and gave him a weak smile. You walked towards the car where she was already seated in the front seat. You climbed in the back of the car. It was a first for you and you might be a tad too dramatic but you had never ride in the backseat of Shawn’s car. He knew you were getting sick quite quickly in the back of a car. He had always made the boys riding in the backseat when you were there. Another misread signals. You sigh before really taking a good look at her. Of course she was gorgeous. Not gorgeous in the cute neighbor style no she was gorgeous like she came out of a red carpet event. Her smile was so bright she could light up a whole room, hell even the whole building.     

You tried making small talk during the car ride but the two of them were completely infatuated with each other and they were giggling leaving you out of the jokes, they were talking about people you didn’t know and whatever progress Shawn had made in the studio that week. You didn’t even knew he was back in the studio. The cracks in the imagined relationship you had built started to appear. You finally got out of the car and made your way towards the restaurant. You couldn’t refrain from rolling your eyes at their giggles behind you. He had opened the door for her, caught her as she fell or more faked a small wobble in her walk, everything was a pretext for touching each other. You were getting sick of them and it only has been a fifteen minutes drive. 

The dinner was so long, she did all the efforts she could to not include you in any chat they had. You couldn’t even tell if she was nice or not, you haven’t been able to get to know her. The rational part of you was telling you to take it easy, she was maybe thinking that the friendship you had with Shawn could be a threat to her relationship with him. But the other part of you was hurt. You felt that the secret he kept from you just opened wider the wound of him rejecting you. He didn’t feel like he could tell you before quite some time and the oh so great relationship you thought you had with him was just a mirage. You were sure you didn’t imagine the longing touches, the ambiguity between the two of you, the late night conversations. You had talked until the sun was rising on the terrace of his condo. She finally left for the bathroom leaving you and Shawn, alone. You were now worried of staying alone with him. Your feelings felt too much to be with him. 

Sometimes you wanted to punch the niceness out of him. He saw that something was wrong with you. « I can see that there is something bothering you, Y/N. » he said softly. You mumbled something about work thinking it would shut him up. « C’mon, I know you better than that » and that was the sentence that brought you over the tipping edge. 

« Do you Shawn ? Do you really know me better than that? I thought I knew you, apparently I was completely wrong! You didn’t told me that you had a girlfriend ! You didn’t told me you went back to the studio! You didn’t told me anything! And here I am being surprised, emphasis on surprise, with your girlfriend tonight. I feel like a fool! I feel like I was played and I can’t even be mad about it because you never promised anything, but I thought we had something. » you said in almost one breath. You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage, threatening to come out as you spilled your feelings. As much as you tried to suppress the tears, one single rounded tear descended the side of your cheek. « I didn’t knew you felt like that Y/N. I’m so sorry, I guess. » he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was starring at you, not knowing if touching you would make it better or worse. Inside his head was a mess, he didn’t knew what to think anymore. He thought he liked the girl touching her make up in the bathroom, but seeing you like that pulled at his heartstring. He was confused and the glasses of wine didn’t not help him to understand what was happening. 

As you look at her coming back from the bathroom, you also got up. « I never stood a chance, did I? » you asked without expecting an answer. The night didn’t turn out as you had planned

[itsamendesmadness]

Shawn Mendes x reader (female)

“Cherry red lips”

Summary: You are preparing yourself to accompany Shawn at his debut at the Oscars.

Warnings: oral sex

a/n: I guess we can say guitar players do it best. I wanted to thank you for all the support on my past work. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, let your imagination fly. 🪶 (remember to reblog if you want to see more of this work)

wc:1,360

——————————————————————————-

The Oscars are finally here, Shawn has been eager for this night to come because it’s going to be the first time you walk the red carpet together. You are scared people are gonna bash on you. Most fans don’t take it lightly when they’re favorite musicians are with a new girl. You are preparing yourself in a separate hotel room while Shawn records a get ready for the Oscars video with Vanity Fair. He has personally picked out a dress for you and left it hanging on the closet door with a note beside it. The note reads “Can’t wait to see this on you”. As you slowly open the zipper of the garment bag revealing the dress, you gasp at its beauty. You take it out and place it on the bed admiring it. It’s perfectly made for you; a black slip satin dress with the longest train you've ever witnessed. You weren’t entirely sure about how you were going to walk on those Black with Crystal Embellishment Jimmy Choo heels, they seemed to be a little too tall for you. Either way you were excited to dress up and rock the carpet.

The hotel phone rings, and it looks like Shawn is calling. “Hey babe.” he says. You loved how he called you babe. As in any new relationship, you were still on the honeymoon phase, where you blush at compliments and couldn't keep your hands off of eachother. “Hey Timbit” you reply, as you sit on the bed with your white robe. “We're in the middle of shooting, but I wanted to know if you liked the dress.” he says. You laugh a little,“Of course babe, it’s stunning.” you replied while you twirled the phone cord around your fingers. “I’ll pass by your room when I’m done... I- I love you.” he says nervously. “I love you more, Timbit.” you reply to him with the biggest smile on your face. He hangs up, and you put the phone down.

You asked Shawn to not get you any stylist because you didn’t want to be a burden, Anyways, you were pretty damn good at makeup and hair. You start gently placing your makeup on the hotel floor ,right in front of the patio door since you liked to do your makeup close to a window. You turn on your “I’m a bad bitch” playlist and proceed to put on your makeup. When you finish, you walk up to the bathroom to start on the hair, but get distracted taking selfies and mirror pictures. You send a little teaser to Shawn and proceed to do your slick back low bun with a middle part. You wanted to show off the dangling earrings and sparkly necklace.

The phone dings with the personalized ringtone you have for him. “You’re so good at makeup, but…” he texted. You look at the message thinking there is something wrong with it. ‘But what?... Does it look bad?” you reply with your heart dropping. The phone dings again. “I can’t wait to rub it all off,” he texted with smirking emojis. ‘You leave him on read’. He deserves it, you think to yourself.

The time has come to finally put on that beautiful dress. You put one leg in and the other after it. The dress brushes over your skin like butter and you put the straps over your shoulder. You walk towards the full body mirror holding the dress on your chest because it’s not zipped up yet. The satin material hugged your curves tightly and a slit was on the dress exposing your left leg. The slit came to an end at the top of your hip. This dress was definitely Shawn's doing, it accentuated every part he loved about you.

You felt like a Hollywood star with the red lipstick covering your perfectly shaped lips. Especially with the black satin gloves this dress came paired with. Unfortunately, you can’t make out with Shawn any time soon or you will ruin your makeup and stain his godly made face before the Oscars.

You tugged and struggled to get your zipper up. You sit on the bed with defeat all over your face. You didn’t want to interrupt him so you just waited for Shawn to come by so he could get the zipper. Until then you just continued watching a series on Netflix. After an hour, he gets to the door while holding your favorite flowers. He opens the door with the hotel room key. You didn't hear him come in because your airpods muffled his footsteps. It’s obviously hard to hear the steps with a floor covered in carpet. “Babe” he shouts at you as he approaches you and taps your arm. “Babe” he says once again. You jump up with a scared look on your face. “I’m sorry…I- I didn't hear you come in '' you say with a sigh of relief knowing it's him and not some weirdo. “It’s okay” he chuckles. He hands you the flowers “You look beautiful” he says to you leaning in for a kiss. “You look very dapper yourself” you say smiling looking at his eyes. He blushes and smiles. You could never resist that contagious smile he wears. You stare at him in his sharply tailored to perfection black tuxedo. He wears it with such elegance.

“How was the video?” you say to him eager to know how his day went. “It went smoothly… I think you know how nervous I get” he says as he moves to sit next to you. “Did you do the meditation exercises?” you say facing him. “Yes , I burned some sage and said some affirmations.” Shawn replies. “That’s great babe. Also, can you get my zipper?” you say as you stand up. “I love when you need my help.” he says to you while he puts his hands on your lower back. He could never resist not kissing your back. As expected, he kisses your back while he gets the zipper, he continues to give you soft pecks till he gets to your neck. You left out a soft sigh. You turn around and say “I can’t kiss you right now. I have red lipstick on”. “Fuck the red lipstick” he replies as he tries and get a kiss from you. You turn your head and he lands his soft lips on your cheeks. “No Timbit, just wait after the Oscars then you can kiss me all you want.” “I don’t want to ruin your moment… you're going to be presenting in front of prestigious people, you can’t be looking like a clown.” you say to him wanting to prove your point. “Fine, but I can kiss other lips, you know.” he says to you with a scheme written all over his face.

He opens the slit of your dress and slips two fingers on your black lace panties. He begins to rub your button making you moan out. He gets down on his knees and brings down your lacies with his mouth as he looks up at you with desire. He puts your left leg over his shoulder. You gasped and slightly bit your lip as he did so. He began to suck on your clit making you moan out. Your hand flew to his head, gently tugging his hair.

As he ate you out, his fingers began to play with your wet treasure. You whined and grabbed his shoulder, digging your nails in him. He sucked and fingered you at the same time. The pace of his tongue started syncing with his fingers. You wrapped around his finger so tightly, in a way of warning him you were about to spill. He then looked up at you and smirked. He looked so hot working up a sweat for you. “Cum for me” he says in a sexy tone. You began to tremble, throwing your head back. He gently took out his fingers with them covered in cum and his lips followed him. “Good job babe” he says to you gasping for air. You stand there dripping out, looking to where your soul left. He brings you toilet paper and cleans you out. “Time to go beauty” he says to you, handing you the black lacies back.

[shawn-is-my-giant-jellybean]

ONLY WANT YOU.

Pairing : Shawn Mendes × reader

Genre : Angst, smut, fluff

Warnings : Swearing, Daddy kink, thigh riding, unprotected sex, dom!Shawn, Self depreciation(very mild), oral (male receiving)

Summary : The reader and Shawn have an intense argument and then Shawn let's the reader know who's the one he wants.

You were more than worried now. It had been precisely 2 hours 14 minutes since Shawn left. You really managed to send him over the edge. You didn't want to. You didn't mean it. But you can't help it when all of the world is pining for what's not true. He's yours but no, everyone wants him and camila to be together.

Camila was such a lovely lady. You couldn't help but feel insecure. She was everything you'd want to be. Hell, she was beautiful and the worst part you wanted to hate her but you couldn't. She had that aura.

You and Shawn were in it for long. That's what you thought at least. You knew he was the one for you. And you believed you were too for him until recently.

Ever since the PR began after Senorita was out you couldn't help but question everything. Your bond with Shawn seemed to weaken. You found yourself distancing from him. You didn't want to. You never did. Everytime you saw an article in some shitty tabloid your breath got caught. You felt you couldn't breathe. You knew it was fake but guess these two were really good actors cause it didn't seem unreal it to you.

You tried to calm yourself. Remind yourself you were overanalysing the sitch. He is your boyfriend. He will be home soon. Then you can be in his strong arms and feel safe and secure. But none of it worked.

All this while, since the PR managers suggested this, Shawn had made sure to get you involved. Let you be a part of everything that's been happening or is going to in future. Make sure you're comfortable with it. And boy, did you say yes cause you didn't wanna hold him down. But now when he was not with you for the holidays, when he had to fly out every weekend to Miami you felt your nerves kick in.

You hated yourself for being such a hypocrite. Shawn never once made you feel secluded but your overthinker ass ravaged everything.

You were certain he hated you now. This was the longest you two had gone without talking after that intense a fight.

Shawn was back home after three months. You were so excited for him to be with you for a whole week now, until you saw that article. You knew it meant nothing but seeing your boyfriend sticking his tongue down another women's throat got the best of you. You didn't think it was going to affect you so bad when you said yes to the whole PR stuff but now you just didn't know how to feel.

You never told Shawn when your anxiety kicked in seeing him with her because you didn't want to seem like a hypocrite. But weren't you one?

You just suffered quietly. Tried to let it pass. It'd end soon. That's how you always calmed your raging nerves. You became quieter. Stopped being your bubbly self when Shawn called. He obviously noticed. He knew you better than you yourself. He just couldn't figure the issue cause you had so convincingly persuaded him to believe you were fine with it all.

"Hun, I'm home. " Shawn said as he closed the door after settling his luggage beside the shoe cabinet right at the entrance of your shared apartment.

When he got no response he was stressed. He expected you to pounce on him as soon as he opened the gate but there was no sign of you.

He kicked his shoes off and then remembered how it'd annoy you so much, laughed to himself and went back to put them in the cabinet before calling out for you again.

"Y/N, baby I'm home. "

He checked the living room. You weren't there. The kitchen next. No sign of you anywhere. He didn't expect you to be asleep cause it was just 7 and you were a night owl getting all pumped with energy as the clock hit 6 pm. This was your best time of the day and Shawn certainly had decided to make the best of it but you were nowhere to be found.

He wouldn't lie he was disappointed when you didn't fling yourself into his arms and peppered his face with cute wet kisses and were all clingy and lovey with him. He missed you so much.

He went to your bedroom, your shared room. Checked the whole house but there was no sign of you. He felt all that excitement dial down.

He decided to call you, obviously.

You didn't pick up.

He was worried now. He called your best friend cause you usually liked to hangout with her at evenings like this, discussing your medical school stuff and just chilling at times. She didn't pick up either. He called your mom and she told him that you were out with Y/F/N and she thought that he already knew.

Shawn was more than upset. He felt a little angry because you had been acting so not yourself and this was the least he could expect from you. There was something wrong obviously but why wouldn't you talk to him. Every time he tried to talk, you'd just make some excuse. He was tired now and this was what sent him over the edge. He tried calling you after an hour again. Just to get back a text saying "I'll be home late. Dinner's in the fridge. Don't wait for me. "

He was pissed off. Really bad.

You came home around 10:30 at night. You knew this wasn't fair to Shawn. After you saw that article you just couldn't. You had to let some seam off. Y/F/N called you and asked you if you'd wanna come to a small party they were throwing for Tom, a batchmate of yours Shawn had a huge disliking towards. Tom had asked you out cause he didn't know you had a boyfriend and he made it very clear that he liked you a lot. Shawn didn't take that well, obviously. He hated Tom's guts.

You wanted to get on his nerves after seeing the article. So you did.

You put on your sexiest one piece Shawn got for you year on your graduation day. The nerve of you. You informed your mom cause you knew Shawn would call her as you didn't plan on picking up his phone.

You opened the door with your key. The click noise made Shawn wake up from his light slumber.

You knew you had pulled off real shit and well consequences weren't gonna be good.

As you went inside. You saw the food was out on the counter but untouched. Shawn was in the living room, glaring at you.

"Where were you, Y/N? " He asked you with a voice dangerously low sending chills down your spine.

But heh you had enough liquid courage to be a douche at this point.

"Hello to you too. " You said in a rude tone.

"I said where the fuck were you, Y/N? It's been three goddamn hours. I have been so stressed what the hell is wrong with you. You didn't even care to tell me yourself. What the fuck?" He snapped at you moving towards you in the kitchen where you were pouring some water for yourself.

" I was at Tom's birthday party with Y/F/N." You said non chalantly.

His eyes shot up. Going wide.

" So you decided to go to that fucker's party instead of being with me. I'm home after three fucking months for fuck's sake." He yelled from across the counter.

You flinched hearing his tone but snapped right back. "Well what am I supposed to do Shawn? Sit here like a fool while you stick your tongue down her throat. All I see are pictures of you two making out every fucking where so am I just supposed to fucking wait for you after getting ten thousand notifications showing my boyfriend and his fucking girlfriend!? "

He took in a deep breath as if to not do anything wrong. The change on his face was scary. He just went from angry and worried to nothing. His face went expressionless. The tension getting thicker with every passing second.

You realised how wrong you were instantly. Hands flying to cover your mouth. " Shawn, i-... I am.. I didn't mean it. Bab-"

"You fucking meant it, Y/N. I can't even. You've got to be kidding me. " He took his Jeep's keys and headed for the gate. You tried to stop him by touching his shoulder but the look he gave you made you feel disgusted with yourself. He slammed the gate as he went out. Tears made their way down your cheeks smudging all your make up.

You sank down right where you were beside the kitchen counter. You hated yourself in this moment more than you ever had. The one person who always put your needs first, cared for you more than himself, you managed to make him hate you. You were certain he did.

You ran took your phone called Shawn. Over and over again. 5 calls went unanswered. You were perturbed. Didn't know what to do. Didn't know where he could be. You wanted to just be in his arms. You didn't deserve it but you felt home. His arms were your home. And you just ruined it all. Your baseless insecurities did.

You sat there helpless, loathing yourself. You don't know when sleep took over you. When you woke up it was 12. You got up in haste, drowning in worry. It had been an hour and a half since he left. You called him again and again to no avail. You lost the best thing you ever had and you knew you wouldn't be able to live with yourself after what you did.

You decided leaving was the best. He anyway wouldn't want you near him. Shawn deserved the world. He deserved the best. And then there was you who gave him nothing but hurled insults at him.

Tears didn't stop flowing at a point you felt you didn't have anymore left but you were wrong. You went up to your bedroom. Taking out a suitcase. You didn't want to bother him more. You weren't worth it.

You put in your essentials in the bag, moving to the closet after that. You changed into one of your hoodies. It was his. All of your clothes were basically his. You needed to wear them to feel home when he wasn't around. He loved them on you but now you weren't so sure. You anyway did it. One hoodie wouldn't upset him.

As you were done packing you checked the time it was over 2 hours. You wanted to die right at this moment. Shawn was not picking up your calls. You called Geoff earlier, he had no idea where Shawn was. Now you decided to call Karen. You didn't know what to do. You had already asked Andrew if Shawn was at the studio. You didn't want to stress everywhere cause Shawn didn't get mad easily but when he did it was bad. Extremely bad.

Just as you were about to call Karen you felt yourself being turned around, moved towards the closet door, a pair of strong arms pulling you and then his warm swollen lips being attached to yours. You melted right then. You didn't know how to respond. You couldn't believe it. Were you dreaming? But as you let it sink in, it was your Shawn kissing you. His smell invaded your senses making you feel alive again. Those lips moulded with yours felt like heaven. Tears made their way out of your eyes again. Lips starting to move against his. Hands going into his hair tugging at it as he devoured you. You didn't realize he was crying too until you opened your eyes. His eyes blood shot, cheeks tear stained. You hated you were the reason for his disheveled state. You hated yourself.

You broke the kiss. Not being able to look him in the eyes. Trying to catch your breath.

After a few minutes of total silence you figured this was goodbye. You started moving towards your suitcase.

As he saw what you were doing he let out a loud groan. He wanted to knock some sense into you and he decided he will.

He held your arm pulling you towards himself, asking with a hoarse voice "Where do you think you are going? "

"I'm sorry, Shawn. I just....you deserve better. I'll leave, I wanted to ask you if I can take this one hoodie? If you want it back I understand. I just didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean anything I said earlier. It just I was a little drunk you know it's I'm so terribly sorry. " You rambled didn't realising when you started sobbing.

You felt his arms wrap around you. Engulfing you in a loving hug. You broke down. He was still being so considerate when all you did was break his heart.

"Shush honey. Y/N, I am right here. You're not going anywhere."

"I am sorry. So sorry. I-.. I'll leave. "

"Baby, I said you are not going anywhere. I need you hun. You remember, it's forever." He said in his beautiful voice showing you his promise ring. The one you got him three months back. Just before he left.

You looked up at him through your crys. You wanted to see if he hated you or not. He could lie to you but his eyes could never. To your surprise all you saw was worry and love. A sense of relief washed over you. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding all this while.

"I love you baby. We are okay. I'm sorry I shouldn't have left like this."

"No no no Shawn. You.. I.... I'm so fucking terrible. I didn't mean anything earlier. I just wanted to I don't know I'm a fool. I was so scared I lost you forever. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. "

"No bub, I get where you're coming from. I understand. Just seeing you go to his birthday party made my blood boil. Seeing me with Camila, making out, holding hands I get it. I'm sorry. You should have told me, Y/N. I always wanted you to be comfortable with it. Although I shouldn't have put you in that spot when I know you won't ever say anything that's not in favour of my career. "

" I just didn't wanna hold you back, Shawn. I knew it was important but seeing you with her I just can't help but compare myself to her. I'm so pathetic. I hate myself. "

" Hey don't you ever say that about my baby. She's the best. Okay? Most beautiful, most caring, loving, selfless and she has the best legs. Her ass is so sexy. Her curves. Those lips I never wanna let go off. " He said his hands on your ass massaging it. You let out a low moan. It had been so long.

You wanted Shawn more than anything . His head dipped down to your neck, your head falling back. It felt unreal to be this close to him again. Especially after that sick stunt you pulled off.

He bit you at your soft spot and you jumped in his arms making him chuckle. He licked it to soothe it and you moaned. Not being able to control how overwhelmed you were after months of no physical contact with him.

"By the way that dress, baby. Not a smart move wearing it to Tom's birthday party, was it? " He said as his hands creeped up inside your hoodie sending shivers up your spine.

You just moaned in response only to receive a light tug at your bum.

"Words, honey. Use your words with me. " He said in that deep voice making your knees turn into jelly.

"Yes daddy. It was so stupid of me. Sorry daddy. " You said in your most innocent voice. Eyes looking glossy.

Shawn literally lost it there. Letting out a low growl. " Fuck Y/N." He turned you around. Making you face the mirror on your vanity. Your ass pressed onto his front. You could feel him already getting hard against your thigh. "Say it again." He commanded in a low voice. So you did feeling yourself getting wet. The pool in your panties becoming larger. "Mmm Daddy." You moaned as he moved your hair onto one side tilting your head so that he could assault your neck again. He knew how much you loved it when he did this.

"You know I wanted to take you right when you entered the house. Looking so pretty in that dress. Daddy got so worked up, baby. Only if you weren't being an annoying little brat." He said bringing his hand on your left boob cupping it under your hoodie.

"No bra? You're being very naughty I see."

"Sorrrryyy daddy. Sorry for being a little brat. I need you, daddy." You couldn't take his assault anymore. You whined. You just wanted him to fuck you into oblivion. Wanted him to be rough with you. Wanted to be close to him. As close that even air couldn't get in between the two of you.

"My hun is eager, I see. What do you want honey?" He asked.

"Want daddy to fuck me. Hard." You answered. Your eyes closed as he played with your tits. You could already feel yourself dripping on your thigh.

"Fuck baby. Getting daddy so hard huh? But do you deserve it after what you did."

"No daddy I have been bad. Very bad." You said. Extremely excited for what was in store for you. Shawn being a little rough and dominant always got you in the mood no matter when and where. That was his effect. The fact that only you got to see this side of the otherwise always a sweetheart gentle giant Shawn worked wonders on you. You loved it and he knew that.

"Hmm so kitten what is your punishment then?" Shawn whispered in your left ear. Making goosebumps arise on your body.

"Spanks, daddy. I have to count."

"Mm look at you being so good. How many do you deserve baby? "

"6 daddy? "

"Isn't that very less for what you did hun? Make it 10."

"Okay daddy."

He tugged at your hands as an indication for you to raise them so that he could take off his large hoodie of you. Leaving you only in your black lace panties. Looking at your almost naked body, Shawn couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. Hands immediately cupping both your boobs. "So beautiful kitten."

"Thank you, daddy."

He proceeded on to take off his shirt. His biceps flexing in the process making your mouth water. You still were in a haze. This man, literally Adonis was yours? How'd you get so lucky? His flawless skin. The little hair peppering his chest. The defined pecs. His abs. You didn't even realise you were gawking at him. Literally with your mouth open. A chuckle brought you back to reality. Getting flushed instantly.

"Mmm definitely enjoying what you see hun. Come here." He said sitting at the edge of the bed opening his legs so that you could bend over his thighs. You did as told.

"Want these off baby. " He tugged at your panties. Before you could even move to get them off. He ripped them apart in half as if it was nothing. You got wetter if that was possible.

"Now bend." He said. You did as told. You bent over his lap.

"Count baby." He growled as his hand slapped your right ass cheek. A loud moan leaving your lips. "One."

Another spank at the same place. Making it become an angry red. "Two." You whined.

Shawn saw your wetness dripping down your thighs forcing a strangled moan out of him. His fingers immediately going to your freshly shaved pussy lips. "You are enjoying this so much kitten? " He asked as his fingers dipped in your folds, you almost screaming at the sudden action, then he took them in his mouth. You sublimated right that moment. If this wasn't the hottest thing you'd ever seen you didn't know what was. You felt pure bliss.

Still in that euphoria you didn't realize how time passed and his hand came in contact with your ass again. Harder than before.

"Three." You cried. Your ass blood red. Tears threatening to fall out of your eyes any second. Just for a second Shawn's demeanor faltered. He seemed to be having second thoughts. He couldn't hurt you. His hand soothingly titillating the area.

You, as if, read his thoughts and told him to continue. "It hurts so good, daddy." That was all he needed. "You're doing so good kitten. Just two more." With that his hand came down again not so hard this time. You moaned, loving the burning sensation.

He repeated the same with your left cheek. You started to cry by the time he was done. He took you in his arms. Making you face him. Straddling his lap. "Did so good for me baby." You rested your head on his shoulder. Your bare pussy against the rough fabric of his jeans. His thick thighs clenching. And you started to grind your self on his thigh. You didn't even realise when. The pleasure seeming to only increase with each thrust of your hips. You let out a moan at the same time as Shawn, it's what made reality dawn upon you. Your actions halted thinking he'd want to punish you, maybe.

When you looked into his eyes, they were darker than before, almost black, filled with insatiable hunger. A wave of confidence hit you. Your movements resumed. Your pace a little faster now. Your hands made way around his neck, wrapping them for support as he held you by your waist. His eyes boring into yours, you felt yourself melt. "I want you to get off my thigh, Y/N. Don't stop until you cum." He said in a voice that was enough to do it for you. He sounded so fucking sexy you couldn't even make sense of it. "Okay daddy." With that you increased your pace. His toned muscles flexing with your movements. It felt like heaven. You felt the fire burn in you. That familiar pit. Shawn kept on cooing filthy things in your ear sending you over the edge even faster. You held onto him for dear life as you came, nails digging in his skin. This was different. The way he responded to your actions. It felt unreal. It was beyond amazing.

"Felt so good daddy." You said as you went to kiss him. He captured your lips with his, kissing you with burning passion. You poured all your apologies, how ashamed you were of your unreasonable behavior, your unconditional love for him, all in that kiss. It conveying more than you could vocally have.

"Look at you hun, ruined daddy's pants huh? Looked like a goddess getting off of my thigh. You like it?"

"Loved it daddy. I love 'em."

He wrapped your legs around his waist as if you weighed nothing, standing up. He threw you on the bed. Taking his pants off along with his boxers. His thick member sprang out of the confines hitting his abdomen making the most unholy noise. You almost gasped at how terribly hard he was. It must be painful.

You scooted closer to him on the bed, reaching the edge. "Can I taste you, daddy? "

"Fuck. Go ahead baby."

"Mmm okay." You said as you reached for him. Getting in between his thighs. Making him sit on the bed and getting on your knees on the floor. You wanted to make him feel just as good as you felt. And boy were you determined.

You took his length in your hands. Spreading the precum all over it and your lips pulling out a pornographic moan off him. He stared at you in awe. Looking so pretty with his cock in your hands, on your knees for him. So wet, your juices dripping everywhere. It was nasty and he loved it.

You took his balls in your mouth, caressing his cock, all the prominent veins and the angry red tip making you salivate. You started running your hands up and down him. Sucking his balls. "Fuck honey, so good. Go on." He caressed your hair. "Always so good for me." You released his balls from your mouth with a pop sound and licked his underside from the base to the tip, feeling each vein. You took his tip in your mouth making him almost stop breathing. "Such a good girl, Y/N. Doing amazing." He moaned. It felt like music to your ears. You finally took him all in. He let out a loud whine. The warmth of your mouth making him dizzy. You started moving your head faster, almost releasing him fully then taking as much of him as you could until he hit the back of your throat. You loved giving Shawn a head. Hell you loved doing everything to him. Anything you did for him, with him was automatically your favorite. You felt what a dumbass you were to even think of leaving him. He's the best thing that has happened to you ever. He's your present and your future. You can't let yourself ruin that. Shawn abruptly stopped you. Pulling himself out of your mouth. You gave him a confused look. "What's wrong, Shawn?" "Not gonna last long, baby. Wanna feel you. Be inside you. Come here." He scooped you in his arms. Made you lay on the bed facing the vanity mirror. He came up beside you. His large body engulfing you as he spooned you. You reached down taking him in your hands, not being able to take anymore teasing. You needed him in you. Wanted to feel full again. It almost felt like the first time today. Your emotions all over the place, being so raw. You loved every microsecond of it. You lined him with yourself, almost about to take him in when Shawn took control. "Calm down. You know Y/N, good girls don't behave like this." "Sorry." You mumbled grumpily. His hand wrapped around your throat. Pressing lightly. Fuck, you got wetter if that was humanely even possible. You felt you might cum right then. "Sorry, what honey? Be good." "Sorry Daddy." "Mmm better." He said as he rubbed his tip at your slit. Teasing you like always. "So wet for me, honey. You've ruined all the sheets." You just moaned loudly in response incapable of forming a coherent sentence. He slowly pushed inside you. He was so fucking big. It hurt. He stretched you out so well. Relief washing you over. Feeling him in you made you feel complete. He stilled once he was inside letting you adjust. "Move baby? " He asked. "Mmm fuck. Yes daddy." You said.

His hand moved from your throat to your clit, rubbing you as he fucked you hard from behind. Your eyes started to close which as soon as he noticed he stopped. You whined so loudly at this it was almost shocking for you. "Open your eyes, baby if you want me to continue. Watch us in the mirror. Watch how daddy fucks you so good." And you saw the most obscene sight. His one hand rubbing your clit. You could see his cock move in and out of you. Other hand on your left boob pressing it hard. You couldn't help but whimper at the beautiful view. So dirty. You loved it.

His pace got faster as he dipped his neck into the crook of your neck leaving hickeys. Your hand reaching back holding onto his arm. Your nails scratching him, digging into his skin.

The feeling of bliss took over you as you yelled "I'm going to cum, Shawn." "Come for me, honey. I'm gonna cum too." His pace faltered becoming slower. He was close too. He rubbed your little nub faster, the nerves started burning at his assault.

"Aaah fuck fuck fuck daddy." With that you came all over him, him following you almost instantly. He let out a grunt as he came inside you, filling you up. Riding you both to the end of your orgasms.

He stayed like that for a few minutes. Not moving at all. Then he pulled out of you. Getting up to go to the bathroom like he always did. He came back with a wet towel, cleaning you up so gently. Then he cleaned himself up with the same towel. And you don't know but this always felt so intimate to you. More than all that you guys just did. Him cleaning you both up with the same towel made your heart flutter. You were so fallen for him you didn't know yourself.

He came back after dumping the towel with the dirty laundry.

As soon as he came to bed, you snuggled into his chest. He was your home. You felt so safe. No one could hurt you with him there. Not even you, yourself. He'd protect you.

A single tear slipped from your eye as you both lay in comfortable silence cuddled with each other. As he noticed it, in the sweetest voice ever he said "It's okay baby. You don't have to even think about what happened earlier, again. I knew it'd affect you badly and I still went for it. I knew if I asked you, you'd never say no. So it was me taking you for granted, hun. You're not at fault. It was me, baby. I put you in that spot."

"Oh shut up, Mendes. Always making me seem so good. It was my and only my fault. Don't you dare blame it on yourself. And I'm so so sorry. I won't ever doubt what we have. It's the most real thing I have felt in my whole 22 years of existence. I love you so much, words can't even express it."

"But you do in other ways. You know." He smirked making you roll your eyes, nudging him lightly in his chest.

"You riding my thigh was the most fucking hot view ever. Trust me, I almost came."

"Oh shut it and let me sleep." You said all flustered about what you did.

"One last thing, baby. "

"Hmm? "

"You're the only one I want. "

You cuddled more into him finally being able to fall asleep soundly in your home.

Taglist: @monikamendes @holland-styles @bvttercupbby @lonelyreputation @badreputationlove @shawn-youth @itsalwaysbeen305 @perfectlywrongsm @particularnarry @wholesomemendes @myboyshawn @myboyshawnie @imaginashawnns @camilalewiss @swiftmendeshoran @princecharmingmendes @fallinallincurls @glitterypositivityforaesthetic @shawnpetermuffins @stylesharrys @shawnblanc @shawn-mendes-thirst @shawnftchris @lonelyreputation

Tell me guys if anyone wants to be added or removed from the taglist.

Also this is my first time writing on tumblr so i dont know if I did any stupidities please let me know if I did 🥺🥺

And How'd you guys like the shot? I'd really appreciate if you all leave feedbacks. Thank you lovelies! ❣

[yournameoneverypage]

I posted 1,410 times in 2022

That's 575 more posts than 2021!

488 posts created (35%)

922 posts reblogged (65%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shawnmendes-updates

@sbawnmendes

@trinemendes

@shawnmendesgallery

@mendesblurb

I tagged 1,359 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#shawn mendes - 1,328 posts

#shawn peter raul mendes - 1,326 posts

#shawn mendes instagram - 129 posts

#wtwt 2022 - 91 posts

#asks are love - 45 posts

#tommy hilfiger - 45 posts

#anon asks - 37 posts

#shawn mendes fanfic - 35 posts

#lyle lyle crocodile - 25 posts

#shawn mendes fic - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 88 characters

#i promise i won't continuously bore you all with talk of healthy eating and fitness shit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

202 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

If It Isn't You / Part 2

Shawn Mendes x reader. Word Count: ~3.1k Warnings: A little bit of everything. Angst, fluff, slight smut. A/N: If you haven't yet read "If It Isn't You", you may want to. I hadn't originally planned on turning IIIY into a two-parter, but this request felt too perfect. It might not be exactly what you had in mind, Anon, but I hope you like it just the same. I know I haven't posted anything for awhile so be easy on me, yeah? 😜

/// ❤️ \\\

Four years later…

Aura barreled into her nana and papa’s house, straight for her auntie Aaliyah, who scooped her up and peppered kisses all over her face.

Shawn trailed behind, a sleepy Ezra in his arms. He gave his mum a one-armed hug.

Karen reached for the three-year-old to take him from her son and immediately noticed how warm he was. “Poor baby.”

“No nausea, but no appetite either. His fever is at 101. I gave him some Tylenol, and I’ve been pushing fluids. Water, juice, Pedialyte, whatever he’ll drink.”

Manny stepped up beside them and placed one hand on Shawn’s shoulder, gently squeezing, while the other tenderly rubbed his grandson’s small back.

“Y/n told me I could leave him home with her for a few hours, but she’s supposed to be on bed rest. He probably would have just slept beside her the whole time, but I would have worried all evening.”

“You didn’t have to come to dinner this week at all, bub,” Karen said.

“Y/n insisted,” Shawn smirked, with a roll of his eyes. “She’s annoyed with me for being a ‘mother hen’ and said a few hours of quiet would help her not smother me in my sleep tonight,” he chuckled. “I got her all set up and Mia is on call.”

“How’s she doing?” Aaliyah asked, approaching her family, Aura perched on her hip.

“Better than I am, or so it seems,” Shawn said with a soft huff. “I don’t think she’s letting me see the full truth of it. There were no complications with the twins and she was active up until the day they were born. She’s used to being independent and completely immersed in Ez and Aura’s routines, and I know it’s affecting her that she has to stay still and depend on me more than she feels is fair. We’ve always been a team, and to have to watch from the sidelines has been hard for her.

"She’s easily irritated and reacts in her frustration and then she feels guilty when she bites at me.”

Aura unexpectedly launched herself at Shawn and when he caught her, she clung to him, little arms around his neck. “Hey monkey,” he murmured, giving her a squeeze and a kiss. He realized that this conversation might not be best to continue in front of your baby girl. “Should we help Nana finish getting dinner ready?” he asked, shifting gears. She nodded but still wouldn’t loosen her hold on her daddy.

Aura watched as Nana gave Ezra to Papa, and as Papa carried Ezra to the living room couch to lay him down. She screwed her little face into a scowl. She didn’t like how everyone was fussing over her brother. It made her belly feel funny.

She felt better when she was helping Nana with dinner and watching Daddy and Auntie Liyah tease each other while they got the table set, especially when Daddy kept asking his ‘prettiest and goofiest and specialest girl’ which dishes and cups and napkins would be best.

///

Sitting at the table without a spot set for Ezy, listening to Daddy and Papa and Nana and Liyah talk about things she didn’t fully understand, Aura missed Ezy. She had always had her brother to talk to when the grownups were talking.

But even though she missed Ezy, she also didn’t like him right now because dinner kept getting cut up by someone always going and coming back and forth to check on him, even though he was sleeping.

She felt as small as an inchworm. Her little body would scrunch up tight until someone would ask her a question and then she’d stretch when it was her turn to talk. Too soon and everyone would go back to stupid grownup talk and she’d… scrunch.

Aura’s belly, and now her eyes too, started getting all twisty again. She stood from her seat without Daddy telling her she could be excused and with mean fists she stomped her foot before bolting from the room.

She almost ran back to tell Daddy she was sorry for not asking if she could be done, because the worst thing of all was when Daddy was ‘disappointed’, but her skin felt too itchy.

///

Shawn found your daughter in his old bedroom, where she was stuffing things into her extra dance bag. Karen and Manny had transformed it into a room for their grandbabies with two small beds, drawers full of clothes, and bins full of toys.

He paused in the doorway. “What are you doing, monkey?”

“I’m runnin’ ’way,” Aura said, giving her daddy the angriest face she could muster, but Shawn could also see the tears in eyes so much like yours.

Shawn knelt down before her and tugged gently on one of her braids. “I wish you didn’t feel like you need to leave. I’d sure miss you. Mommy too. And Nana and Papa, and Auntie Liyah,” he continued, looking over his shoulder where they were all now hovering.

“And what about Auntie Mia, and Uncle Brian, and Grumpy and Gran? Miss Annie, Ms Kelly, Jacob and Clara and Tess would all be worried if you didn’t go to school. But who would miss you the very most?”

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210 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#3

Aw, Nuts

NSFW 18+ / Minors, please DNI…

Word Count: ~4.8k Notes: I had fun with this one, until I didn't, and then again when I did. 😜 Some angst, smut, and some fluff. Didn’t stick to the request exactly. Let’s be honest, no sexy time for three months? None at all? Come on, it’s Shawn. 😝 I haven’t written present tense for awhile, so please forgive any mistakes you might see... Might be a bit before I get to another request. I’ve been neglecting my OC series, so I’m going to try to finish the next part of that before I sift through my asks again. As always, likes are wonderful, but reblogs are better, and comments are cherished. 💕

* ❤️ *

You scrutinize yourself in your full length mirror.

You’re wearing a blush colored, lace bodycon dress and the most comfortable of the cutest heels you own for a night out with your boyfriend.

You screw your face and huff, “Am I not attractive? Am I not sexy?”

“Of course you are, darling,” your best friend, JJ, hums distractedly.

“You would fuck me if you were straight, wouldn’t you?”

“In a heartbeat, Sweetie,” he mumbles.

You glance over your shoulder. The other occupant of your apartment is sideways in the plush armchair in the corner of your bedroom, his eyes not on you, but his phone screen.

His inattention further frustrates you. “Bitch, enough with the damn phone. I’m in the middle of a crisis here! I need your attention more than whatever sugar daddy you’re flirting with on Grindr.” You stomp across the room and yank his phone from his hands.

“What the hell?!” He snatches his phone back but wisely shoves it in his pocket and sits up properly. “All right. You have my undivided attention. What’s the goddamn crisis?”

“Shawn.”

JJ raises an eyebrow. “Shawn?”

You pout. “We’ve been dating for three months and we still haven’t had sex.”

“Wait, what??” JJ thought you were keeping your sex life private for Shawn’s sake, being who he is; he hadn’t ever thought there might not be a sex life to talk about.

“What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. He is wild about you. He looks at you like you hung the moon, and the stars.”

“Well then, what the hell?” you grumble.

“You’re not usually shy in taking what you want. Direct the outcome.”

“You think I haven’t tried? You do know that my boyfriend is one of the hottest men in the world, right?”

“Well aware, thank you,” JJ snickers. “Are you getting any kind of action? Come on, spill.”

“We have really hot makeout sessions.”

“Yes, I’ve seen the marks left behind,” he mutters.

“He loves my tits.”

“You do have phenomenal tits.”

‘We’ve gotten really good at second base… But when I try to stick my hand down his pants, he puts the brakes on.”

“I think the better question is, what’s wrong with him?”

You give JJ a little shove, by his face, and chuckle softly before you sigh again. “I miss sex. I really, really like sex.”

See the full post

217 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#2

If It Isn't You

Shawn Mendes x female reader.

Secondary (anon) prompt: "There are two steady heartbeats."

Word Count: ~6.2k ( HOLY CRAP! )

Warnings: Angst to fluff.

A/N: You should all know by now that I can't seem to write a short story, but even I'm shocked! 😜 This is the first time where I’m fusing two requests because they work well together. I always proofread, always more than once, but if I’ve missed anything, please forgive me. I hope you all like it!!

/// ❤️ \\\

You weren’t sure how to feel as you looked at the little window of the third pregnancy test you had taken, only to see a third plus sign. Granted, the first test you took you may have taken too soon after missing your period so you couldn’t be certain it was a true positive. Or maybe you were just too terrified at the time to entertain the thought of what it would mean.

When you started puking up your guts one morning a week later, and then again every morning thereafter, you took two more. And now you had no choice but to accept your fate.

You had always been safe. Or thought you had. You tried to recollect if there had been a time when you had been careless or impulsive, or if there had been any concern about a broken condom.

There was no question you would be keeping your baby. That was the easiest of the decisions you would have to make going forward. The most difficult? Do you tell Shawn?

Your globetrotting, world famous, now ex- boyfriend. The man you had believed, with every ounce of your existence, was meant to be your happily ever after. You had even made it to the stage in your relationship where you thought he was close to proposing.

You had weathered so much together, navigating his fame and everything it had entailed, including periodic bouts of social media brutality. You stood by each other through it all because it was worth it. Or so you promised, whispering affirmations of love and devotion into the skin and mouths of one another in those quiet moments when you shut the world out.

You still couldn’t comprehend how it all went so wrong, so quickly. You had had your share of healthy arguments and fights, but you had always worked through them after a brief cooling off period, neither of you wanting to ever go to bed angry, and it had only made you stronger. But this fight, the fight that had ended you, was something else entirely.

Abrupt, dizzying. Sharp, and unceasing. Surging, spiraling, and climactically, an explosion. He had stormed out of his condo, fiercer than a hurricane, your condo, after he had asked you to move in five months earlier, and you had been left alone with your anger and anguish, and exhausted to your very bones. He hadn’t returned that night, and had stayed gone for another 24 hours without so much as a text to tell you where he was or when he would be home. It was Brian who’d had the decency to let you know that Shawn was at least alive.

By the morning after that your things had been packed and you had left to stay with your ex-boyfriend, the ex before Shawn, and still good friend, Luke, in his guest room.

There were other friends you could have asked to temporarily house you, but you knew choosing Luke would aggravate Shawn the greatest, and at the time you had been enraged (and worried sick) by his… abandonment.

Shawn had never forbidden you from having certain friends or for spending time with who you wished to, he wasn’t that kind of man, but Luke had frequently been a point of contention between you, even though you had always taken Shawn’s feelings into consideration and limited your interaction with the other man who loved you.

The longer you stayed in Luke’s house, the guiltier you felt. And once enough time had passed where you realized Shawn wasn’t coming to apologize and bring you home, that’s when you knew it was over. You blamed yourself then, wondering if you had found anyone else but Luke to take you in, would Shawn have come for you then? Had you made the biggest mistake of your life by throwing that in his face?

Luke would have let you stay indefinitely, but you couldn’t offer him even a sliver of hope that your feelings for him might regress to what they were before Shawn, now that you were no longer with Shawn. You had loved Luke, but never like you loved Shawn. You would never be able to love anyone the way you loved your tall, curly-headed, big-hearted, Canadian boy.

So, you had quickly, fortunately, found a sublet, a small studio apartment, which would do until you figured out what your future would look like without Shawn in it.

You sighed heavily, wearily.

Shawn deserved to know he was going to be a father and to choose how much he wanted to be involved in your child’s life, but you were still hurting, aching, and keeping it from him, as spiteful as it might be, would serve him right.

He had moved on so fast. Faster than anyone should have after ending a significant, more than two-year relationship. Your heart had not only been broken but had been ripped from your chest.

Shawn was only two weeks into the first leg of Tour, and he already had some girl trailing after him all over Europe. That should have been you, was supposed to be you.

Tears fell from your eyes, streaking your cheeks; you didn’t even bother wiping them away. You had already cried so much, you were surprised you had any tears left.

You told yourself you had time to decide when and how to tell him, for you would wait until he returned from Tour. This was something he didn’t need distracting him until he had time to truly digest it.

Six weeks. Six weeks to summon the courage to face him without falling to pieces.

In the meantime, you would need to make an appointment with an obstetrician, and then start looking for something bigger than a studio.

///

See the full post

853 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

1,321 notes - Posted August 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fallinallincurls]

Shawn Mendes Masterlist

Fics 

Hold Still

Surprise

The Hockey Rivalry Bet

Nightly Routine

A Christmastime Skate

The AMA’s

Studio Confessions

Safe Flight

Christmas On The Road

Move In With Me

Guitar Lessons

First Date

Love Story

Overwhelmed & Insecure

Hoodies

Sleep Tight // Part 2

Fuzzy Socks & Extra Love

Love Letters

Car Rides With You

Such A Tease

Grocery Store FaceTimes

Nighttime Sing Alongs

Sick Days

Drunk & In Love

A New Language

Q&A Session

Doubts & Drama

Coffee Kisses

No One Else Like You

Snowed In

After Party Anxiety

Sweetheart

I Can’t Lose You

Little Spoon

PJs & Baby Talks

Lazy Days

Grammy Nomination Nerves

Overheard Conversations

Butterflies

Sleepy Words

Morning Ritual

Home Again

Rooftop Smiles

Cuddles & Extra Kisses

My Rockstar

Baby Kicks

Plane Rides & Sleepy Strangers

Libraries & Love Notes

Girl Next Door

Baby Smiles & ASL Signs

Thanksgiving Traditions

A Little Bit Scared

Medicine

Love Drunk

Cheers To You

Apartment 1452

Forever & Always

Mornings With You

Heart To Heart

After Sex Glow

Snowglobe Wishes

Hold My Girl

Marry Me

Button Ups & A Baby Bump

A Growing Family

Cramps & Cuddles

A New Kink

Through The Years

Be Your Own Ballerina

Heart Searching For Heart

For My Sunshine

She’s My Girl

Never Stopped Loving You

Touchdown Celebrations

The TikTok Challenge

Be My Valentine

Her First Word

Long Showers & Endless Giggles

Worldwide

Fit For A Queen

Laundromat Kisses

Pamper Date

Don’t Fight With Me

Birthdays In Quarantine

The Birthday Promise (co-written by @watchmegetobsessed​)

An Office Love Story (companion to @lights-on-mendes​‘s “A New Promotion”)

Jeopardy & Laughs

I Don’t Mind

Cameo Crushes

Part Of Our Family

Tour Runs & Full Hearts

Birthday Boy

Daddy’s Biggest Fan

Stuck With You

Get Ready With Me

Newest Addition

The Shawn Mendes Writing Circle: A Father’s Love: Part 1 // Screaming Color Part 2 // Secret Part 3 // Sunflower Part 4

Cuddlebug

Bad Day Reassurances

Puck Drops & Big Questions

Groceries & Innocent Confessions

Elephant Tattoos & Surprise Kisses

Hockey Star Homecoming

Blurbs

Christmas Cookies

December

Under The Stars

Headcanons

Cold Feet

[brianc521]

Angst where Karen and everyone doesn’t like the gf and think she’s a gold digger. But like treats her really bad secretly until one day Shawn sees it

Changed it to Raul bc I thought he’d be cuter in a protective role

Approval | Raul Mendes

**It started off as something you could handle. Snide comments under her breath, nasty glares from across the kitchen. It bothered you of course, but Raul and Karen are so close and you didn’t want to speak up about it.

Mainly because you didn’t know how that conversation would go. Of course he’d side with his Mother, but you didn’t want to lose him in the process. 

It slowly turned into telling Raul there wasn’t enough invites to a cousins wedding, but then the day of finding out from the bride that she invited you specifically when she’d told Aunt Karen. 

From then it went to telling Raul there wasn’t enough seats at holiday meals, and the one time he said he wasn’t going because he was going to your families with you, she told him he had to be there for a big announcement. That announcement was simply that Shawn was going on a summer festival tour, that he already knew about.

This was starting to turn into something that you couldn’t take anymore. It really hurt you deep inside, and the idea of not being liked by his family totally tore you apart. 

“Come on Baby please?” He begged, tugging on your hand. “I want you there.” 

“Raul she said there wasn’t enough seats.” 

“Then sit in my lap.” He shrugs, like that was the easiest fix. 

You scoff, rolling back onto your side on his couch, looking at his phone. “Right because she’d just love that.” You muttered.

“What was that?” He asks. 

You look up at him with a wobbly lip, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Baby! What’s wrong?” He cried scooting down the couch to pull you on his lap.

“Raul, why doesn’t your mom like me?” 

“What? Of course she likes you.” 

You rolled your eyes, trying to get out of his hold.

“Why do you think Mum doesn’t like you?”

“How can you not tell?” You spit out, “She tells you every week that there’s not gonna be enough seats at the table for family dinner so make sure you come alone. But every week you come home and I ask who was there and you say ‘Peter and his girlfriend, Aaliyah and her boyfriend, Shawn and Brian, and Mum and Dad’“ You mock his little accent. 

His eyes widen a little and he reaches for your hand threading your fingers together. 

“So tell me, why does all of your siblings get to take their significant others or best friends but I can’t come?” You ask, “Your Mom’s table seats 12, I would make 10.” 

Raul doesn’t know what to say, he just sits and thinks about your questions. 

“Then come tonight.” He looks at you. “Come to dinner, I’ll make a spot right next to me if she has something to say, which she won’t. Let me prove to you that she does like you.” 

**

That’s how you find yourself seated next to Raul at family dinner. Mid conversation with Aaliyah, catching up on her hockey game from last week. Shawn’s laughing at something with Peter. Raul’s hand sliding up and down your leg in a calming matter.

“Here Mum, I’ll help.” He jumps up, planting a sweet kiss to your head before helping grab dishes and going into the kitchen, 

“So Y/n, where have you been? We’ve missed you around here.” Peter speaks up, pulling you and Aaliyah out of your own girl world.

“Oh, um,” You look up, catching Karen’s eye as she walks back into the dining room. She shoots you a look and you quickly look down. 

Shawn catches the interaction and leans forward. “Everything okay Mum?” 

“Mhm, just trying to figure out how to do all the dishes, there was an extra guest I wasn’t expecting.” 

Shawn looks around, you being the only one who could fit as that extra guest. “Why wouldn’t you expect Y/n?” 

“Family dinners are for family.” She says, taking Manny’s plate. 

“Y/n is family.” Peter says, watching Raul tip toe to the doorway. Hiding from both you and his Mother. He’s watching you, face reading anger in the way that you’re wringing your hands together, head looking down into your lap. That’s your tell tale way of trying not to cry. 

“No, she’s not.” Karen shakes her head at her sons. 

“We bring our boyfriends or girlfriends all the time Mum?” Aaliyah speaks up now. “Heck, Brian, Matt and Ian have been to more family dinners than I have in the past two years.” 

“They’re family, they’re forever.” 

“Honey.” Manny speaks up. 

“She’s not. Raul will come to his sense soon.” Karen nods, turning around and gasping when she finds Raul staring her down. 

“Yeah I will.” He nods, inhaling deeply, nostrils flaring. 

The sound of his words hit you deep in your chest, and you can’t help the tear that drops. You knew this is what it was going to come down too. And he’d side with her. 

“Come here Baby, let’s go home. I don’t want you around this, it’s untruthful.” His jaw clenches, hand reaching out for you. 

You look up in shock, and he makes a grabby hand at you. You stumble out of your seat, walking around Karen timidly and sighing when he tugs you into his chest. 

“You’re making a mistake Raul.” Karen raises an eyebrow at him.

“No Mum, you’re making a mistake. Just because I didn’t end up with Leah like you thought I should have doesn’t mean you have to terrorize my girlfriend. Because let me make this clear for you Mum, she is forever. I promise you that. Until you can come to terms with that, and accept that she’ll be your daughter-in-law, she’ll have your grand-babies then don’t talk to me. I don’t want to speak to you or see you.” He takes one last deep breath and looks down at you. 

You look up at him and all he can see is hurt and pain in your eyes. He takes your hand, tugging you with him to the motorcycle. He hands you your helmet and offers a hand for you to hold while you swing a leg over. 

You hold him tight, tears still flowing. 

When you open your eyes again you’re sitting in a Tims drive thru. 

“I’m sorry.” He hangs his head, staring down at your hands locked on his stomach.

“It’s okay, I understand.” You hiccup.

He turns quickly, ripping his helmet off. He sets it down on the ledge behind you, reaching up and taking yours off as well. 

“What do you understand exactly?” He asks.

“Why you’re breaking up with me.”

“What in the fuck gave you the idea that I was breaking up with you?” 

“I mean, she’s your Mom Raul. She doesn’t like me, for some reason.”

“Okay and?” He tilts his head to the side.

“She’s your Mom?”

“Yeah she is, but that doesn’t mean I have to listen to everything she thinks is right for me. It’s my life, I have to live it. I’m in love with you, and I want to live my life with you. I wasn’t lying back there. I meant it when I said you’re forever. She will be your mother-in-law one day. You will have her grand-babies. I’m not breaking up with you Baby. If anything I’m taking our relationship to the next step because I’m promising our future.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah Baby. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you when you told me before we left. You’re everything to me, I don’t care who thinks we shouldn’t be together. They aren’t us. They don’t know us, they don’t know our relationship. I’ve never been this happy in my life. You make me happy.” 

“You make me happy too.” You smile. 

“Please stop crying.” He whines, wiping your cheeks again. “She’s not worth your tears Baby.” 

You both look up when a car pulls up next to you. Shawn, Peter and Aaliyah come tumbling out walking up to you guys. 

“What?” You look at them.

“We don’t know why she’s being that way, but Y/n we love you. You’re all we could ever ask for Raul. Know you have us if you need anything.” Shawn smiles, nudging Raul’s shoulder.

“No come on, we didn’t have dessert, and we didn’t finish our conversation.” Aaliyah points at you. 

“See Beautiful.” Raul smiles, looking back at you. “They see what I see. That’s all that matters.” 

[cynicallystiles]

Seasons of Love: The One with the Cabin

Disclaimer: Moodboard made by me. Pictures found on Google!

Author: @cynicallystiles

Request: @itrocksmysocks​ basically requested this by making me obsessed with the triplets a year ago.

Warning: Swearing. Slight sexual content.

Notes: Chapter four is here! The whole thing still isn’t finished ahead of time like I wanted. Annnnndd I’m already falling behind schedule lol! Thanks for your patience! Please COMMENT/REBLOG if you enjoy it!

Pairing: Kallie Hayes (OC) x Mendes Triplets

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Chapter Three Chapter Five

Words: ~5.37k

"Kalliope!" The sound of her name accompanied by excessive knocking stirs her awake abruptly.

She startles and rolls off the bed onto the floor. "Ah! Jesus, fuck!" She groans and sits up, rubbing her shoulder.

"Is everything okay?" Her sister asks through the door, and Kallie can hear the amusement in her tone.

Pulling herself upright, she glances at the bed and sees Shawn's smooth, muscular back. "Fuck," she mumbles, barely holding in a laugh. "Uh...yeah! I just tripped getting out of bed!" She calls back with a little chuckle.

"It's nine right now, goober. Figured you'd want to be up in time to shower and help with breakfast," Cassie chuckles before her footsteps recede down the hallway.

Releasing a breath of air, Kallie turns back to the bed to find two brown eyes looking at her. "Jeez!" She gasps and closes her eyes to normalize her fast-beating heart. "When did you wake up?" She asks when she opens her eyes again.

"Hard to sleep with all the noise around here," Shawn teases. He rolls over and stands, allowing the sheets to slide off of his almost naked body. Kallie's eyes watch his muscles tighten as he stretches his arms above his head. "I can feel that ya know," he laughs.

She scoffs and stands to make her bed as he finds his clothes. "No, you can't," she argues with warm cheeks as she finds a loose shirt to pull over her shoulders. "I told you you weren't supposed to sleep here!" She groans and starts pushing him toward the window.

"Hey!" He protests as she gets the rope ladder. "You're the one who told me to hold you more," he reminds her and opens the window quietly.

As she secures the ladder to the window and rolls it down the side of the house, her eyebrows furrow. "No, I didn't," she denies, focused on making sure he won't injure himself.

"Yeah, Kal, ya did," he insists while hanging halfway out of the window.

Kallie shakes her head. "Well, I don't remember. Now, go! Before, anyone sees you," she giggles and places her palm flat against his forehead to push him down the ladder.

Shawn quietly enters through his front door and tries to sneak upstairs. His foot doesn't even hit the first step when a voice behind him makes him jump. "Where the hell have you been?" Turning, he sees Peter and Raul entering from the living room.

"Just went for a morning jog," he chuckles nervously.

Peter squints at his attire and crosses his arms. "You don't look like you went for a jog," he accuses suspiciously after seeing no sweat despite him wearing pants and a hoodie in hot weather.

"It was a light jog," he shrugs innocently, "didn't want to stink too much for breakfast since you two always take the hot water."

Raul rolls his eyes and shoves his hands in the pockets of his shorts. "Well, I showered last night. So, there's water left to clean up before we head over," he explains casually.

"Wait," Shawn stops leaning against the railing and takes a step forward. "You never shower at night," he states in confusion.

He just shrugs. "Yeah. Kal and I got a little messy last night," he chuckles and heads back into the living room, ignoring the twitch of Shawn's eye.

The boys arrive at Kallie's just as she's setting down the final plate of food on the table. Her hair is still damp around her shoulders from the shower, barely curling as it dries. Conversation flows chaotically while the boys catch up with Cassie and her moms.

Shawn catches Kallie's eyes as she takes the last sip of her almond milk. She asks him what's up by pinching her brows together. He nods subtly toward the kitchen. Concerned, she stands up.

"I'm gonna start clearing the dirty dishes," she informs everyone as she gathers some plates.

Shawn follows suit. "I'll help," he offers.

"But, cleanup is my thing," Peter points out in confusion.

Patting his shoulder, Shawn takes the dishes he's holding around the table. "Relax, for once. I've got it covered." He disappears into the kitchen after her.

"What's going on?" She asks in a hushed tone as she leans on the counter next to the sink.

Setting the dishes in the sink, he crosses his arms and turns to her. "What exactly did you and Raul get up to last night?" He sighs.

A chuckle slips past her lips before she sees the distraught in his eyes. "We just got ice cream and went to the park," she explains with a shrug.

"And that's it?"

Kallie lets her mouth part in surprise. "Should there be something else I don't remember?" She didn't like the accusation in his tone and Shawn's increasing jealousy was starting to irritate her.

"No," he deadpans, looking out the window above the sink. "It's just that Raul said you guys got messy but you didn't have dirt or anything on you when I came over."

Kallie clicks her tongue and scrunches up her face. "Are you kidding me?" She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as well. "We got a little childish and were fighting with the ice cream, Shawn."

"But, you-" he begins but she inhales deeply and he cuts himself off.

"I got it in his hair, but he only got it on my arms. It was easy to wash off in the sink before you came," she scoffs.

He drops his arms and steps toward her. "Sorry, I just-"

"I know what 'you just'," she sighs in disappointment. "You can't keep getting jealous every time I hang out with him. Or Peter."

Looking at his feet, he mumbles, "I know."

"I think we should pause this," she declares quietly.

He quickly looks up to meet her eyes. "What? No! I'll stop being jealous. I'll-"

"It's not about that," she lies. She could feel things getting complicated between them and she didn't want that. "We're gonna be at the cabin all summer and there won't be time for it anyway. I don't want to ruin our last summer there with the drama if we get found out."

Nodding slowly, Shawn starts to calm down a little. "That makes sense. But, what about when we go back to university? I mean, we all still live together," he points out.

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet," she admits. "I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." As Kallie finishes her sentence, Peter wanders into the kitchen. "What's up?" She asks with a gentle smile, causing Shawn to look toward the door.

He shuffles shyly toward them, causing her to giggle. "It felt weird sitting out there not doing the dishes with you," he admits with a small grin.

"Then, come help me, Penguin. Shawn is terrible at rinsing," she teases. Shawn meets her eyes with a silent look of fading sadness as Peter sidles up close to her with an enormous grin at one of her many cute nicknames for him. He watches them bump shoulders and giggle before leaving with a sigh.

Later in the day, the boys help load Kallie's bags in the back of Shawn's Jeep before they start their trip to the lake. After hugging her moms and Cassie, they all head out of the house.

"Lemme guess...Kallie gets front seat as always," Raul teases, heading for the backseat.

Shawn nods with a cheeky grin, but Kallie also heads for the backseat. "Actually, I wanted to share the back with Peter..." She sneaks a glance at Shawn who has shock written on his face. He's worried that this 'pause' might be about more than she's letting on.

"Why though?" He clears his throat as Peter catches up to them after saying extended goodbyes to her family.

She shrugs while Raul is already riding shotgun. "This time we're learning sign language." Kallie then looks at Peter as she teases, "We've only got around two weeks left to become fluent."

His eyes flit between Shawn and her, picking up on the unsaid tension between them. He's quiet. But, he's not stupid. Peter lets his features melt into a smile that puts Kallie at ease.

"Sweet!" Peter jostles her by the shoulders excitedly before opening the door for her. With a small glance at Shawn, she gets in the backseat. "Wait...is the sign for 'cabin' this...or...this?" He asks to distract her from whatever is upsetting her. She chuckles as he slides in next to her practicing two gestures that look similar, but neither are anywhere close to meaning 'cabin'.

Clenching his jaw, Shawn slides into the driver's seat and pulls out of the driveway. The usually short two-hour drive to Muskoka was going to feel a lot longer without Kallie up front with him.

The first time that the Mendes' took Kallie to their beautiful cabin at Lake Muskoka was the December after she had first met the boys. Before she was allowed to go, their parents had to meet her parents. They ended up getting along so well that they invited her parents and her sister along as well.

After finally pulling up next to the cabin, Shawn flings off his seatbelt and races toward the door. "I gotta use the bathroom!"

Both of their parents chuckle. "We told you not to drink a whole hot chocolate before we even left Pickering, son," Manny reminds him playfully.

The adults work on unloading the bags, while the rest of the kids pile out of the vehicles. Kallie's eyes are immediately drawn to the lake nearby, covered in white. "Woah," she breathes out, a little intimidated by how big it is.

"You remembered your skates right?" Peter asks from a few steps behind her. She nods silently, not wanting to say that they all had to go out and buy new ones for this trip.

Before Peter can make more conversation, Karen calls out to them, "Lunchtime first! Then, you can skate all you want!"

"I'm starving!" Kallie declares with a giggle as she loops her arm through his. He's a bit surprised but he doesn't say anything as they walk quickly back into the house.

Peter is helping Kallie shed her coat just when Shawn comes back from the restroom. "Kallie, come sit next to me! I'll share my Oreos with you," he entices her.

"Oh, okay!" She says with a small glance at Peter. Shawn is so excited that he runs to the dining room without looking back to save their seats. Leaning toward Peter, she whispers conspiratorially, "You can sit on my other side if you want."

He nods happily and they join everyone else for a quick but filling lunch. Raul is the first to finish. He practically flings his dishes in the sink before issuing a challenge. "Last one on the ice is a loser!"

There's a brief second of silence before the sounds of chairs scraping on wood and dishes clanging overlap. Each one hurries to put their dishes in the sink and get their winter gear back on. Shawn is second out the door not long after Raul, both carrying their hockey skates by the laces.

Cassie and Kallie are neck in neck as they fly through the door in their many layers with brand new ice skates in their mittened hands. They get to the edge of the lake and make quick work of changing their footwear. Cassie throws herself onto the ice in third place, not even caring that she has no idea how to work the skates.

When Kallie knots her last lace, she stands up and puts her mittens back on to dust off the snow on her jeans. She hesitates at the edge, uncertain of how to get started. Her right blade almost touches the ice when she hears the door close in the distance. She looks back to realize that Peter wasn't racing with everyone else.

He takes his time to make his way to the lake while the grownups file out of the cabin behind him. They go about getting the fire pit going so they would all have somewhere to warm up in between activities.

Peter has a bag slung over his shoulder that looks a lot like the one he keeps his drawing stuff in. Kallie was going to wait for him to catch up, but Shawn skids to a stop mere inches from her.

"Let's go, Kal!" He urges and takes her hand to pull her onto the ice. "Once you get going, it'll feel easy!" She tries to protest as he pulls her further onto the ice, too far away from the bank to leap to safety.

Her skates glide along easily as Shawn skates backward, pulling her by the hands. She looks up to see Raul skating in a figure eight, while her older sister seems to be catching on fast. Raul breaks his formation to speed past and bump Shawn's shoulder.

"Hey! I'm gonna get you for that!" Without thinking, he lets go of Kallie's hands to chase after Raul.

She automatically bends over slightly to gain some kind of balance, arms outstretched in front of her in case she falls. Slowly, she pushes off one foot to slide a little faster. An excited giggle escapes her as she continues to practice this in a safe little circle.

Deciding that she's got the basics down, she stands up straight. Her arms stay poised to catch her if something bad happens but she manages to skate in a wider circle. She picks up speed and feels the cold wind whip at her face.

A little further ahead, she sees that her path is going to cross with Shawn and Raul's. The two of them were done with tag and were now racing in a circle. This makes Kallie realize very urgently that no one taught her how to stop.

Panicking, she tries to veer to the left. The tip of her skate catches a chip in the ice and sends her sprawling toward the bank of the lake. She sits up with a hiss, clutching the knee that took most of the impact.

"Kalliope!" She turns toward the sound of her name and finds Peter gliding toward her from the bank. She watches the way he tips his foot upward to use the back of his blade as a brake. He squats down beside her and looks at her knee. "Are you okay?"

She purses her lips and looks away, embarrassed about the crash and burn. "Yeah, it's just scraped," she mumbles, noticing his drawing materials scattered around his bag as if he dropped them in a hurry.

"Then, let's go again," he replies simply and stands up while holding out his hands for her. Kallie turns her head sharply toward him. "I promise I won't let go of you until you want me to."

His reassuring but crooked smile made all of her embarrassment go away. He doesn't care that she's bad at skating. It also made her happy that he would stop doing his favorite thing to teach her how to skate. So, she grabs his hands and lets him help her up.

Peter begins explaining all the "do's and dont's" of skating on lake ice. Apparently, it's different from skating rink ice. He tells her a fun fact about penguins and she laughs, bringing Shawn's attention back to her once again.

He skates over quickly and takes her hand that's not clutching Peter's forearm. "I can teach her from here! You probably want to go back to drawing anyway," he dismisses Peter.

"I don't wanna slow you down," she offers. "You play with Raul while I learn the ropes and tomorrow you can teach me hockey!" He looks at her skeptically, glancing to Peter on the other side of her who is pretending to be very interested in his skates. "Promise."

He nods. "Okay, if you're sure..." Kallie smiles in return and Shawn can't help but smile back. "Be careful, okay?"

"Always, duh," she teases before turning back to Peter. Shawn hears the conversation fade as Peter leads her around the lake. "So, penguins really build nests out of rocks?" She laughs.

He nods with a chuckle before spending the better part of two hours patiently teaching her how to skate. Once he's sure she's got it, he lets go and watches her glide ahead of him. She's so enraptured in skating that it takes a minute to realize he's not holding her hand.

Kallie immediately digs her heel into the ice and turns back. "Hey!" She crosses her arms with a pout as he skates up to her.

"What?" He laughs, "you were doing amazing!"

Her lip quivers the slightest bit and she avoids looking directly at him. "You promised you wouldn't let go," she murmurs.

"Kalliope," Peter breathes out her full name guiltily, "I'm really sorry. You were just doing so good and that's how mom and dad taught us how to ride bikes...so I figured..." he trails off with a shrug.

She sniffles and he's unsure if it's because she's sad or because of the cold. "Don't do it again," she pleads before carefully unfolding her arms to her sides.

"Promise," he instinctually replies. She raises her eyebrows at him. "For real this time." Peter grins and takes her hand tightly in his. Kallie can't help but smile as he pulls her along the edge of the lake.

"Moms! Look! I'm doing it!" She yells in excitement at her mothers. They both get up and quickly make their way to the edge of the lake with their cameras.

Proud looks cross their faces as they capture the two of them skating close together, hands tightly clutching each other. Manny and Karen come up behind them and share a knowing adult look. Cassie skates over to get in the pictures before Raul and Shawn join. Soon there's a picture of the five of them all wrapped around each other that they have framed and hanging on the living room wall of the cabin.

Kallie runs her fingers along the wooden frame of that picture in the living room, in the exact space on the wall that it's been hanging for about twelve years. She grins momentarily, the nostalgia quickly fading to sadness as the reality of it all hits her. This is probably the last summer they're gonna spend together here.

As the door creaks open and the boys clatter inside with arms full of bags and laughing, she shakes herself out of the sad mood. "I could've helped carry my stuff in, ya know!" She chuckles and moves to close the door behind them.

"That is absolutely not happening on our watch!" Shawn spouts nonsense while he struggles to keep a grip on her duffles.

She nods empathetically before taking them out of his hands with zero effort. "Seems like you need to hit the gym, Mendes," she digs at him as he automatically stands up straighter without the extra weight of her bags.

Kallie makes her way upstairs toward the bedrooms while the boys stare after her. "How is she doing that?" Shawn muses out loud and with a little envy.

"When did she get more ripped than you, bro?" Raul teases to Shawn's chagrin.

Peter interrupts as he walks backward toward the stairs. "She's always been able to carry her weight. You two have just always been too busy staring at her ass to notice." With a smirk, he spins around and jogs up the stairs, bags slung over his shoulders.

"Okay..." Shawn stretches out the word. "But, when did the runt start lifting like that?" Raul laughs out loud while he jostles Shawn's shoulders and shoves him toward the stairs.

When they were younger, the boys would share one room, the girls another, and both sets of parents had one to themselves. Since they're here by themselves, each could have their own for the whole summer. Kallie stands in the hallway debating which one to take as the boys catch up to her.

"What are you doing?" Raul questions with a chuckle. "Unpack so we can hit the lake before dark!"

She looks between the four doors and then the three boys. "Who's staying in what room, though?"

"Well, which one do you want?" Peter asks her and she quirks her brows together.

"Whichever one is left after you guys pick." She says it so simply. Like it's the most obvious thing in the world. The boys loved that about her. She always made sure they were taken care of.

"Dibs on mom and dad's old room, then!" Raul shouts before taking off toward the end of the hall.

"No fair!" Shawn shouts after him.

"I'm the oldest! Of course, it's fair!" He calls back.

Peter chimes in with a laugh. "Technically, Kallie is the oldest! But, whatever!" He shrugs.

"Guess I'll take our old room," Shawn sighs, unhappy with being cheated out of the master bedroom.

As he wanders back in the direction of the stairs, Peter touches Kallie's elbow gently. "You okay?" She'd gone quiet since looking at the door to the girls' old room.

"Mhm," she takes a deep breath and zones back in on Peter's concerned look, "promise." She forces a small smile.

"You can have the room your moms used," he offers kindly. "I don't mind staying in the smallest one."

When she glances back at the door, she can't bring herself to disagree. "Thank you..." she says quietly. He nods in understanding. "I haven't been able to go in there since..."

"I know." He takes her hand and squeezes it before going to settle into his room. She stands there for a second more before heading to her moms' old room and unpacking briefly.

That room holds a lot of memories for her. For all of them really. Not all of them good ones, though. She finds her favorite swimsuit and throws it on before putting her hair in a single braid. Meeting the boys out front, she doesn't fail to notice how all of their gazes linger on the dips and curves of her body. She shakes it off and heads to the water with them in tow.

Later that night after everyone's showered and dinner was long over, she sits on the bed in her room scrolling through Pinterest for new recipes to try. A knock draws her attention to the doorway where Raul leans against it.

"Hey," she sets her phone in her lap, "need something?"

He shrugs, almost stepping into the room but hesitating. "Just wanted to make sure you're doing okay," he confesses. Kallie takes a deep breath. "We haven't been back here since senior year..."

"Yeah, I know," she deadpans and looks toward the window. She closes her eyes and sighs. "Sorry. Thank you, I'm fine."

This time, he doesn't hesitate to enter and sit at the edge of her bed. "You don't have to apologize. It's okay to not be fine." He sets his ringed hand atop her knee over the blanket.

"I know," Kallie pauses, "I know that." She sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than him. "It just feels wrong to not be fine, ya know?" She shrugs and plays with the yarn of the blanket.

He chuckles lightly. "It's also okay to be fine." She glances at him before he continues. "I know you miss her. But, you can miss her and move on. Lin wouldn't want you to be sad forever. That's not who she was," he comforts her.

"I don't wanna move on, Raul," she whimpers finally and reaches her arms out to him. He instantly brings his arms around her waist and squeezes her tight.

"That was a poor choice of words on my part," he admits into her hair. "I meant..." he pauses, struggling for the right thing to say as he rubs her back soothingly.

Kallie rubs her nose along his neck and he stills. "I know what you meant." She sniffles and pulls back from him, wiping at her wet eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm just down the hall if you need anything," he promises as he gets up. She smiles softly at him as he leans in and kisses her forehead. Sighing at the soft gesture, her eyes close in response. "Night, Kit Kat."

She fights a grin. "Night, Playboy."

Kallie lays back on her pillows as Raul leaves. She's about to turn out the lights when Shawn walks by toward his room. "Hey," she calls softly. He freezes and backtracks a few steps to be in the open doorway.

"Hey, Kal," he replies while sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Her eyes flick to his chest and his lack of a shirt before reeling in her thoughts. "Everything okay?"

He heads into her room and closes the door behind him by habit. Her eyes widen and he realizes what he did. Shawn turns back to open it but she stops him. "It's okay, you can leave it closed," she chuckles.

"Right..." He makes his way over to her and sits gingerly on the bed. For a minute, they just sit in silence. It stretches on awkwardly since they haven't really talked since she asked for a 'pause' on their pact. "I'm really sor-"

"I just wanted to-" They both pause after talking over each other and giggle. "You go." She nudges his hand with hers, leaving it close by but not touching.

He nods. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted this morning," he begins timidly. "It was wrong of me to accuse you of anything and to not trust you."

"It's okay," Kallie responds automatically even though Shawn shakes his head. "No, it really is. I get the whole sibling jealousy thing. It's not as intense with my sister but I get it," she chuckles and he cracks a grin. "You're all my best friends and I don't want to cause trouble between you three..."

Shawn sighs. "Is that why you paused us?" He questions. Slowly, she nods and he closes his eyes to compose himself. "Thank god," he breathes out. When he opens his eyes, she has a confused look on her face. "I'm relieved that it's not because of me or something," he laughs.

"No!" She laughs too. "I guess I just wanted to cut it off before any complications started messing with our Musketeer dynamic." His eyebrows scrunch together, wondering what she meant by that. "Never mind," she scoffs, changing the subject, "I'm glad we cleared this up though, eh?"

He blinks a couple of times, his mind trying to find what exactly has been 'cleared up.' "So, this means..." Shawn stalls, hopefully sending the message for her to finish the sentence.

She giggles and finishes it, "That once we go back to Toronto...we can unpause." His lips pull into an elated grin, causing her cheeks to blush for no reason. "We're all gonna be really busy, but if our schedules allow...then, yes. We can unpause," she informs him.

"Yes!" He cheers before catching himself and regaining composure. Clearing his throat, he responds, "I mean, thank you. I would very much like that. And I promise to keep my jealousy in check from now on."

Kallie nods like it's an appropriate response. "As you should," she giggles.

"I'm gonna leave before you change your mind," he declares. Before he does, Shawn leans in and places his lips on hers briefly but passionately. He pulls back with a knowing look. "Just to leave you wanting more until the next time, eh," he teases as he practically sprints to the door.

She throws a pillow at him and misses. "Goodnight, you heathen!" He rolls his eyes and disappears down the hall.

After a moment, Kallie turns out her light and closes her eyes to go to sleep. She tosses and turns for a while before throwing the blankets off of her in frustration. She grabs her phone and unplugs her charger from the wall before creeping down the hallway.

Quietly, she raps her knuckles on the bedroom door a few times. A few seconds pass and she hears him call out in a whisper-yell, "It's open!" She carefully opens the door, trying not to make it creak, and peeks her head in.

"Hi." She hesitates in the doorway, looking around and then at her feet. Taking a deep breath, she tip-toes in, closing the door behind her with a light 'click.'

Peter turns his book over and lays it open in his lap when he realizes she just walked into the room she hasn't step foot in in almost four years. "Hey, Kalliope." She smiles softly as her full name leaves his lips. Kallie doesn't know why, but he's always called her by her full name. And he's the only one who does.

"I forgot to bring Copper," she admits, dragging her feet as she walks toward the bed. Silently, he flips the blankets over so she can crawl in next to him. He knows she can never sleep without her stuffed fox. The only way she can is if she can cuddle someone in his place.

Kallie quickly tosses him her charger to plug in. Then with a childlike grin, she crawls over him to settle in under the blankets. Peter looks away as the T-shirt that she's wearing lifts up, exposing her underwear slightly. He didn't want to, but he notices that they were men's boxer briefs and he has to stifle a laugh. Kallie always prefers comfort over anything else, gender norms be damned.

She's about to cuddle into his side when she realizes that he's shirtless. Swallowing slightly, she tries not to rake her eyes over his smooth chest and the way his butterfly tattoo accentuates his bicep. You wouldn't know it when he's wearing his sweaters, but Peter stays fit.

"I can put on a shirt if it'd make you more comfortable." He snaps her out of her daze when he notices her staring.

Kallie quickly makes her eyes meet his warm caramel ones. "No, you don't have to do that," she breathes out, "I was honestly just thinking about the last time I saw you shirtless."

"Oh..." A blush crawls along his neck and up to his cheeks. "It's been a minute, eh?" He chuckles. She tips her head to the side and pulls up one shoulder in a shrug with a giggle.

With a comfortable atmosphere, she scoots closer and he lifts his arm to make more room. Kallie leans up and kisses him on his cheek, lingering a second longer than usual. He breathes in deeply, notes of cherry blossom drifting from her hair. When she pulls back she looks at him for a second before laying her head down on his chest.

He makes sure she's comfortable before pulling the blankets back up and positioning his book so that he can hold it with one hand. His other gently caresses her side and rubs circles into her back. Peter begins to read out loud even though Kallie doesn't know what the book is about. Truthfully, she never cares. She likes him reading out loud to her because of the sound of his voice mixing with his heartbeat under her ear.

Occasionally, he lifts his hand up to play with her hair or run his fingers along her scalp. She hums contently and cuddles closer when he does. He finishes his chapter and sets the book on the nightstand before turning out the light. He wraps both arms around her and settles into the pillows.

His hand finds hers in the darkness laces their fingers together. Carefully, he brings her knuckles to his lips and lets them linger there. When he's finished, he rubs her knuckles with his thumb. "Goodnight, Kalliope," he whispers, assuming she's asleep.

Kallie's head nuzzles his chest and he feels her lips brush the skin of his collarbone before pressing in for a long moment. She angles her head up to his ear and whispers back, "Goodnight, Peppermint."

Tag List: @marissje​ @mariamuses​

[violetsandfluff]

shooting star.

shawn mendes x female reader

word count: 1k+ of fluff and a tiny bit of angst.

a/n: its not exactly how I wanted it, but it is anyway. i didn’t put the taglist on this. i appreciate you very much and i will never stop loving you.

“I feel so awful,” she sighed in disgust as she pulled her knees close to her chest and rested her head on her knees. “I feel like I’m done with everything right now.”

Shawn wrapped his arms around the shape that was her body at that point. “I’m right here.”

His voice was so warm and soft, it trickled like smooth honey into her ears. The words made a lump form in her throat, and her heart swell.

“Of course you are,” she snapped. “You’re always right where you need to be.”

Shawn almost drew back from her words. They cut him deeply.

“Baby,” he breathed, closing his eyes and resting his head on her back. “I’ll always be right here. Now ‘til forever. I promise.”

She looked up at him with teary eyes, making him gasp slightly.

“You don’t know what you mean to me,” he continued, scooping her up effortlessly and moving to the other end of the couch. He sat down and set her upon his lap where she rested her head against his chest, the strong, steady beating of his heart calming her.

He licked his lips and swallowed tensely as he tried to put his feelings into words for her.

She reached up to grab the gold necklace that hung from around his neck and fingered it gently, silently telling him to take his time.

He breathed in deeply before he began speaking. “I never intended to make you feel neglected,” he began weakly, gaining confidence like a snowball rolling down a hill. “I always want to be there for you. I want to do anything to help you. You’re the strongest girl I know, and the prettiest. You’re so brave, so courageous, and I envy that about you.

“You’re selfless. You love me even when I can be better, and you don’t laugh at my mistakes. You were here for me when I… when I hurt.”

Shawn trailed off, licking his lips again, and trying to swallow the lump in his own throat. He rubbed his fingers up and down her back, watching as the elephant tattoo appeared and disappeared.

“I want to be my best for you. Wherever I am, you’re safe. I will do absolutely anything to protect you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds. I would protect you with my life, you know that.”

She exhaled shakily as she tugged harder on the necklace, pulling his head down closer to her.

He began speaking again, his lips right beside her ear.

“You’re so… you’re so you. And that makes you absolutely perfect in my eyes. You’re so rare. I have to be the only man on the planet to have such a wonderful girl. You’re just like a shooting star that happened to fall within arm’s reach of me. That never happens.”

He gasped for air around the enormous lump in his throat and the tightness in his chest.

“Every word I sing is about you, and I always sing it just for you. You mean the world to me, darling.

“I just love you,” he said breathlessly, tracing a small heart on your cheek.

“I love you too, baby,” she mumbled thickly through her tears, nuzzling her face against his broad chest. “You mean a lot to me. I guess I just didn’t know how much you loved me.”

“You do now?”

“Yeah,” she gave him a weak smile through the tears. “Yeah, baby, I do.”

He took a deep breath and set her alone on the couch. “I’ll be right back, lovie,” he promised, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

He ran upstairs to their bedroom and retrieved a few items before ducking into the kitchen to make her some of her favorite tea. He grabbed one of her favorite chocolate bars and carried it into the living room along with the tea and other items.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed, and she covered her eyes with sweater-paws, giggling slightly behind them.

“Shawnie bear, what are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” was his blatant response.

He set the tea on the side table next to her, and set a teddy bear in her lap before bundling her up in a blanket like a burrito from head to toe. Finally, he tucked the chocolate bar into her cocoon and told her to open her eyes.

When she did, she let out a squeak of happiness and looked at him with immense affection.

“That’s so sweet of you, Shawn.”

Shawn sat down right beside her, curling his knees into her side.

“What’s on my lap?” she asked with a smile and he laughed out into the silence.

“It’s Ricky, the teddy bear from Valentine’s Day!”

“Ricky, that’s right!” Y/N laughed as she fingered the bear in her lap beneath the blanket. “He’s so soft.”

Shawn had gifted her the teddy bear on their first Valentine’s Day together. She cuddled with it every night, especially when Shawn was gone, and when she was little spoon. Now it sat in her burrito with her, enjoying Shawn’s company.

“What do you want to watch?” Shawn inquired, and you responded, “Harry Potter. I wanna watch all of them!”

“I figured,” Shawn said through a smile. “You’re so dreadfully predictable.”

“Big words for you,” Y/N joked, and Shawn shook his head as the Harry Potter music blasted out of the tv.

“What else is in my blanket?” she asked as she squirmed restlessly in her cocoon.

“Oh, that?” Shawn chuckled softly as he unwrapped you from the blanket. “That’s a chocolate bar.”

“Ooh, yummy,” she said as she took a sip of the tea. “That’s my favorite kind!”

“I know,” Shawn said as he sat back, folding his arms contentedly across his chest.

Y/N leaned against him and thrust the blanket over him.

Shawn pulled her closer underneath the covers, pulling her into his lap and kissing his forehead gently.

“My baby,” he cooed. “Sweet girl.”

“Cuddles,” she said softly, her voice barely audible above the movie.

Shawn let out a breathy chuckle above her head as he pulled her closer and impossibly closer.

“Baby love. Princess. Cuddlebug.”

The pet names fell into her ears sweetly, and she almost purred.

“I’m always here with you, shooting star,” Shawn said as he snuggled farther into the blanket. “Because I love you.”