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sammysdewysensitiveeyes · 11 months ago

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@ratsandfashion

Because you expressed some interest, here is my guide to watching Dark Shadows on Amazon Prime, specifically the episodes featuring Roger Collins, rich asshole and hilariously bad father. This only covers up to Ep. 365, as I am nowhere near finished watching the series.

First off, please know that you are under no obligation to actually watch any of this, or to enjoy it if you do try watching it. Dark Shadows is a ridiculous show, the early episodes are all dripping with dark, moody shots and a creepy, forlorn atmosphere to the point of feeling like a parody. Tim Burton only wishes he were as goth as Dark Shadows. The show is also a low-budget, daily soap opera, which means plots get constantly rehashed and dragged out forever, and most scenes get only one take. You will see characters fumble their lines just about every episode, and some hilarious prop disasters. Nevertheless, it’s a fun and interesting show for those of us who are fans, they go absolutely buckwild with the supernatural, and I think there are some genuinely good actors. (And also some really bad ones.)

Dark Shadows on Amazon Prime has been divided into “Dark Shadows,” which starts with vampire Barnabas’s first appearance around Episode 210 (because that’s the part everyone wants to see) and runs until the end of the series, and “Dark Shadows: The Beginning,” which starts the series from the actual beginning, and runs up until Barnabas. Dark Shadows: The Beginning is honestly less interesting before characters like Barnabas and Julia Hoffman and Angelique show up to stir shit, but Roger has a greater role in Dark Shadows: The Beginning. He’s a terrible father and a selfish cad with a shady past, and ex-con Burke Devlin is there on a revenge plot against him. Much of the main pre-Barnabas storyline is about Roger’s past crimes, Burke and Roger, and later Roger’s estranged wife Laura. Louis Edmonds, who plays Roger, gives the character some charisma and witty charm, and is especially good at correcting his line fumbles and landing on his feet when a scene goes awry.

Dark Shadows: The Beginning

Btw, there are some spoilers in here, if you care about that. Given that I’ve already been posting spoilers on my blog, I’m guessing you don’t.

Ep. 1 – Roger’s very first appearance is a close-up of him pouring himself a drink. Get used to this, it’s his signature move. He snarks at his sister Elizabeth, who is brooding out the window, calls his son David a “monster,” and says that Liz is making a mistake by hiring governess Vicky. He is a delightful, witty asshole with limited power. Elizabeth is clearly the one calling the shots at Collinwood, and she is only letting Roger stay at Collinwood for the sake of David.

Ep. 2-5, 7, 9, 12-13 – Roger spends much of these episodes freaking out over Burke Devlin’s return, while trying to pretend that he is not freaking out, harassing artist/drunk Sam Evans (who shares a dark secret with Roger concerning Burke’s past). Sam is clearly wracked with guilt, Roger only wants to save his own skin. He believes Vicky is potentially in league with Burke, or that she’ll at least let something slip that will get the family (meaning Roger himself) into trouble. He alternates between interrogating Vicky and turning on the charm. He avoids being an actual father as much as possible, and actively wants to send his son away. Ideally far, far away from him. We also get the history that Roger left town under mysterious circumstances, and that Liz has been sending him money every month on the basis that he never come back.

Ep. 15, 17, 18, 20, 22, 23, 25, 26, 28, 30, 31, 32, 36 – Roger gets into a car accident when his brakes fail, and is “nearly killed,” although he winds up with a bandage on his forehead and his arm in a sling. Roger was on his way to meet Burke Devlin in town, and Vicky saw Burke snooping around Roger’s car shortly before the accident, so Roger immediately assumes that Burke tried to kill him and spends several episodes trying to prove it while dragging Vicky in as a witness. Turns out it was David tampering with Roger’s brakes, and Roger reacts like a loving, concerned parent – by yelling at David and saying horrible things to/about him. Roger also suggests that David might be Burke’s bio son rather than his, since Roger’s wife Laura was originally dating Burke. In Ep. 36, Roger literally says something to David like, “Is the devil afraid of the shadows he lives in?” Father of the year, and also an absolute drama queen, like every other Collins. Liz covers the whole thing up by having loyal family handyman Matthew Morgan take the blame and claim it was a problem of negligent maintenance.

Ep. 37, 39, 40, 41, 45, 46, 47, 50, 51, 54-56, 59, 62, 65, 66, 68, 71, 74-76, 78, 80, 82, 83, 86-89, 93, 95-97, 100-106 The plot of Burke Devlin’s revenge, and Roger’s past crimes continues. Burke makes moves against the family business, Roger continues to harass Sam Evans about their shared secret, and harass Vicky about her supposed “snooping” and anytime she so much as speaks to Burke. Things heat up when plant manager Bill Malloy calls a meeting between Burke, Sam and Roger, ready to throw Roger under the bus to spare Liz from Burke’s revenge plot – but Bill is murdered before he can arrive at the meeting. The show then spends a loooong time casting suspicion on Roger, Burke and Sam as suspects, including a drawn-out storyline about some extra special unique pen that Burke gave to Carolyn and then Roger took from Carolyn to give back to Burke, and that Vicky finds near the site of Bill’s murder. You would not believe how many episodes this show spends on the pen. Roger is either a vaguely sinister figure, or a savior for Vicky depending on which way the story is leaning and new revelations about who had the pen last. (Turns out that murderer is a completely different character.) Ep. 41 has Roger flippantly admitting to Liz that he frittered away his inheritance money, but he “enjoyed himself doing it,” which I think is a defining moment for him. Liz is all about family legacy and responsibility and has a strong, determined personality, Roger doesn’t give a fuck, and will happily live off his sister’s money. (Not very Shaw of him, I know. I think Liz is the one that Sebastian might actually respect.) Ep. 87 has Roger find Vicky after David locked her in a room in the closed-off west wing of the house, but first he spends a few minutes fucking with her because he is once again trying to drive her away from Collinwood, and it is hilarious, it’s like a grown man doing middle school pranks.

Ep. 112, 114, 119, 125, 126, 127 – The Bill Malloy murder plot is resolved when handyman Matthew Morgan admits to the crime, so Roger is off the hook. But Matthew also holds Vicky hostage due to her knowledge of his crime, first briefly at his cottage, then for several days in a secret room at the Old House. Poor Vicky can’t catch a break! Roger is callously unconcerned when Vicky disappears, nursing a grudge for her getting him arrested over the whole pen debacle. David, who has been sneaking food to Matthew and is convinced that he is innocent, eventually discovers Vicky, but it still takes him forever to finally tell an adult about it. Roger, as usual, doesn’t believe David and dismisses him completely, but thankfully Burke Devlin, who is getting set up as a romantic interest for Vicky and being written more heroically, gets off his ass to do something and drags Roger along with him. The two set aside their differences to head out to the Old House with guns to rescue Vicky. They still would have been too late, but the ghosts of the Old House actually do something useful and scare Matthew to death.

Ep. 128-132, 134-140, 146, 147, 149-154, 156-158, 160, 161, 163, 165, 167, 169-171, 178, 182, 183, 187, 188, 191, 192 – The next big plot arc on the show is the return of Laura Collins, Roger��s estranged wife and David’s mother, who first shows up during the Matthew Morgan arc as a mystery woman hanging out at the diner. Laura wants a divorce and full custody of David, and Roger is only too eager to give her both those things, but Elizabeth, who actually gives a shit about David, objects. Laura has spent time in a mental hospital, and she was away for most of David’s life, so he barely remembers her. David also has a weird fear response to seeing Laura, which is natural for a kid meeting a parent that’s been gone so long, but in the context of the show turns out to be something supernatural. Laura is also the former girlfriend of Burke Devlin, so there is a lot of drama back and forth between them, and Roger comes to suspect that they are both plotting against him. In Ep. 139 Roger catches Burke meeting Laura on Collinwood grounds, holds a gun on him, and hilariously insists that he could kill Burke and get away with it because Burke is trespassing. Roger, buddy, that’s not how the law works, even in the gun-crazy US. There’s also drama about Sam Evans feeling compelled to paint a picture of Laura surrounded by fire, and suspicions about a burned body that was found in Laura’s old apartment. Laura’s behavior becomes more and more sinister, Elizabeth winds up comatose in the hospital from a mystery illness, and Vicky investigates Laura’s past with the help of bland boyfriend Frank Garner (he’ll just disappear from the show) and intensely boring character/terrible actor Dr. Guthrie. Eventually they realize that Laura is a legendary phoenix, who has “died” in fire and resurrected herself many times over the centuries (and this before Jean Grey ever did it), and who wants to take David with her this time. Roger is his usual shitty self most of the time, condescendingly dismissing everyone’s concerns and delighted at the chance to get rid of David. Finally, even Roger gets onboard the “Save David” train, especially after he sees an actual supernatural occurrence (a book opening by itself) that he can’t explain away, in Ep. 182. Laura eventually lures David to a fishing shack to burn them both alive, David is saved by Vicky, the real MVP of this arc. Afterwards, in Ep. 192, Roger at least attempts to show some concern and affection for David. Roger also shows some real emotion and concern when Elizabeth collapses, although he later insists that Liz is just “being dramatic” over not getting her own way.

As an aside – Roger spends a lot of these episodes in a fancy-dandy rich guy outfit that reminds me a lot of one St. John Allerdyce in his early appearances. And Shaw himself, of course.

Ep. 193, 194, 196-198, 200, 201, 204 – The next big plot arc on the show is the appearance of con man Jason McGuire, who is there to blackmail Elizabeth over skeletons in her closet (or rather under the basement floor). Liz has been reclusive and secretive this whole series, and this arc will explain at least some of her actions. And we’ve already had two arcs about Roger’s shady past, it’s Liz’s turn! Jason also brings his sidekick, petty criminal Willie Loomis who will play the very important role of unleashing vampire Barnabas from his coffin and onto the show. Barnabas will become insanely popular and dominate the show, gradually edging out characters like Roger and Liz, although they still stick around and get occasional storylines. Roger is just kind of there for much of these arcs – there’s a plot line about Sam Evans demanding old paintings back from him, but it doesn’t really go anywhere. Roger does express concern and frustration over Liz basically letting Jason walk all over her, and offers his help as her brother. In Ep. 242, for example, he seems genuinely concerned and supportive. Ep. 200-201 are also important for Roger, as Sam and Burke confront him and he finally admits the truth of the crime he committed years ago (killing someone in a drunk hit-and-run, blaming Burke). Burke is satisfied with Roger’s admission of guilt, and finally drops his revenge plot – this both wraps up that storyline, and lets Burke shift from antagonist into Vicky’s love interest. Despite not having as much to do, Roger is hilarious when he does show up, very much the “drink in one hand, witty comment” rich guy snob, again reminding me of early Pyro and well-written Sebastian.

Dark Shadows

After all that, you have finally made it to the main Dark Shadows collection, starting with Ep. 210.

Ep. 214, 219, 240-242, 249, 252, 264, 268, 272, 273, 277, 280, 281, 313, 330, 331, 334, 339, 354, 357, 362, 365 – Vampire Barnabas Collins has come to town, introducing himself as their distant cousin from England, a descendant of the original Barnabas, and bearing a remarkable resemblance to his portrait on the wall. Barnabas fixes up the Old House to live in, takes on Willie as a servant despite everyone’s objections (Willie was so shitty everyone was ready to run him out of town), and seems like a perfect gentleman, if a bit strange and mysterious. Of course, Barnabas has bitten Willie and placed him in thrall, and bites then kidnaps waitress Maggie Evans, and tries to brainwash her into becoming his bride. Meanwhile, Jason McGuire continues to blackmail Liz, attempts to force her into marriage, and Liz finally breaks down and reveals her own deep dark secret – she killed her husband. Except it turns out she really didn’t, Jason just let her think she did. There’s a great sequence of Roger and Burke chasing Jason through the woods with guns as he flees in Ep. 272, and him having a heart-to-heart talk with Liz in 273.

The Barnabas plot continues, as Maggie escapes, loses her memory, gets committed. This brings in Dr. Julia Hoffman, who quickly figures out that Barnabas is a vampire, and offers an experiment to cure his condition, while hypnotizing Maggie into forgetting everything and helping Barnabas cover his crimes. Julia, like Willie, will become one of Barnabas’s main sidekicks/enablers. Throughout this, Roger continues to be a witty rich guy who always has a drink in one hand, and a bad father, although more caring and less openly hostile to his son. David starts to learn things about Barnabas (not to mention hanging out with Barnabas’s dead sister Sarah) and Roger and Liz discuss sending him away, as they think he has become delusional. (David is actually completely right in everything he says.) Ep. 354 introduces a lawyer who is representing an employee of the Collins family cannery who is apparently suing due to a workplace injury, and whom Roger has been ignoring for some time. Good to see Roger cares about his employees as much as Sebastian does!

In Ep. 365, Vicky Winters is transported to 1795 during a séance, where she will stay until Ep. 461. This entire arc is all in the past, there is no back-and-forth, and Roger’s actor plays Joshua Collins, the stern, cruel businessman with bushy sideburns who is even more Shaw than Roger himself. Shortly after Vicky’s return, Roger will abruptly marry Cassandra, who is Barnabas’s nemesis Angelique in a bad wig, and her control over Roger will be his main story arc for awhile. But I haven’t gotten there yet.

If you have read this much, I am impressed. This “guide” was fun to write, and helped me appreciate Roger, a character that I never paid much attention to when I first watched the show. He’s become one of my favorites now.

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