#rat pack stories
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I updated the rat packs uwu 3 chapters because I forgot the last two weeks rippp
This one comes with a warning: mild gore and violence (because M o u s e)
Thank you @incorrectclonequotes and @blirzy for beta-ing these oh so long ago! (A good chunk of rat pack also belongs to them uwu)
#pepper writes#star wars#fanfiction#post order 66#rat pack#rat pack stories#original clone characters#clone ocs#ao3#archive of our own
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"...you still suck at lying." Roy wants to believe Sam wholeheartedly, but he can't just change his attitude towards someone who's done this much for them based on weak evidence...
|Seasick| | <- Previous : Next ->|
+++| Beginning : Latest |
#long post today!#I recently got Life and Death so I might bring that in somehow#I was already gonna bring ghosts into this WAY later- like months from now probably#But I want to interact with the pack somehow sooner#Go check out the lookbook I made for Sam and Roy using that pack if you haven't already#sims 4 screenshots#ts4#the sims 4#sims4#simblr#current household#seasick#sims story#my sims#sims 4 gameplay#the sims#the sims community#sims 4 edit#sims 4 storytelling#sims 4 story#sims 4 simblr#ts4 gameplay#ts4 simblr#sims#sims screenshots#sims 4#rat screenies#sims 4 copperdale#copperdale#ts4 edit
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Awsten Knight Hair (Two different files)
I started with showing Red & Black first as it's the latest but I made 17 swatches. I think I covered every significant color, skipping most Greatest Hits hairs as those are a pain okay, I am but a single person with GIMP. I did do the scene hair but I would like to some day do it on another mesh. I sorted and organized all my pictures of Awsten, over 400 btw, by hair color, to help me figure out the best examples of each, and to figure out which ones were just faded versions of the others, a few swatches are 'faded' colors, and which looked distinct enough to make swatches for. Green seems most consistent, I have the most pics of blue. Greatest Hits tricolor and red & black are my favorites. The blue is the first color that shows up on the swatches so the thumbnail shows blue hair to make finding it easy. I tried to mimic that the two distinct reds were not exactly the same. I've gotten way too fucking good at telling when a picture came from even if the color is gone from it. None of these are what hair my Awsten Sim normally has tho.
This is. I made this a couple years ago and never changed it from most outfits as it just makes him stand out and it took hours to make, I wanted to get the most out of it. Just one swatch here. Both of these are base game mesh recolors, so nothing else is needed. Standalone files. Also I went out of my way to grab werewolfy poses and emotions because I think it's adorable, okay. He's the least intimidating werewolf, but still my favorite. Forgive Jack's face and body and everything being in frame a lot I am playing as him.
Hair 1
Hair 2
#sims 4#sims 4 cc#the sims 4#ts4 cc#the sims cc#ts4#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#cas#awsten knight#waterparks#hair#sims 4 hair#I got sick of Alex so I swapped to play as Jack so I could use him for jewellery stuff as I felt that pack fits Spellcaster aesthetics#But his apartment has no room for that shit so I set it up at his parents' house and they are a pain but they are spellcasters too#Anyway finding rocks is harder than I thought but I made a lot of jewellery for Awsten because LUNAR hahaha werewolf#But when visiting Awsten the first time also hoping he'd bite Jack from a new mod I got#Jack is dumb and he kept playing with Awsten's pet rat instead and LONG STORY SHORT he got himself bit by the dumb rat#Got sick and had like no fucking money and no quick way to earn it so I kept pickpocketing random sims to get some#Just enough that he could get the antidote and NOT DIE he almost fucking died#I tried messing with his bitchy neighbor when he was contagious but yeah other stuff happened with her instead#Anyway he is now barred from playing with rats as he is too dumb to live#Yeah I made hair for Awsten but I have nothing to say about him as a Sim#He's a dog that's all there is to it#Okay that is his house tho i built it when the Werewolves pack was new and I got him moved away from an apartment into Moonwood Mill#And got him turned into a werewolf#He has 7 cats btw#I made green hair for him first way back when before all that but this is a new version of it#I'm not a big fan of the purple
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*head snaps up with the speed of arrows*
CLOUDTAIL AND BRIGHTHEART GO TO REBUILD SKYCLAN
#oh boy oh boy oh boy#cloudtail with the beginning of the daylight warrior rank. cloudtail again being conflicted by his heritage#brightheart feeling paranoid and still coping with her trauma from the dog pack and needing to run off for a while#dog pack and rat leader parallels maybe…..#razorverse#needs developing but ohhhh i was wracking my brain over why fire would leave when ive changed the stuff with his kits#when like. he doesnt! his nephew does!#maybe firestar gets all the visions but cloudtail (while thinking its silly) sees how his uncle and mate are both distraught#and he and brightheart decide to go on the quest themselves#and just maybe. they have whitekit along the way bc it adds to the drama i think#this would also replace a thief in thunderclan btw. idk if its worth reduxing that story at all#i think this would be a dual super edition. bc they both have pov worthy stuff#cloudtail and brightheart’s quest….
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dude i swear no doctor who fandom "thing" annoys me more than the whole "five was like the exasperated dad to tegan/nyssa/adric" jokes. it's such a widespread meme and it goes diametrically opposed to my reading of how five actually is in his stories with his companions. how dare people have fun in ways that don't fit my narrative interpretations honestly.
#he's not even adric's ''''dad''' he's like a really negligent older brother who thinks ignoring him will Toughen Him Up and also is Impatien#taking a break from my autocad hell to complain about silly stuff sdlkfjsd#treating myself#classic who#honestly i feel a lot of people who make these memes have not seen these stories and/or didnt really Chew on the characters#nyssa was young she but she was also quite mature#and to me the doctor is more like a Senpai to her not a freaking dad lol#dont get me started on tegan/five/turlough which is a lot more rat pack movie / 20-somethings-flat energy#slkdjs if i had to do a new who analogue#it's like when people who try to praise thirteen and are like ''she was the nicest of doctors :)''#bro she really wasnt#are you on crack#at least the other side of complaints like 'she was a facist reactionary mf' are a bit ott#but they're closer to reality than these 'compliments'#sdlfkjdslk anyway#back to cad hell#i have the delivery date for this project on the 25th so hopefully after that i'll get to finish my rewatch#and watch the specials...#and the other special...#(cries)
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sometimes i feel like all these people were grown in a lab to frustrate me personally because it's always just the implication of an anecdote, never an actual anecdote. but then i have to force myself to be rational bcs it's very unlikely that people remember what he would have actually said half a century later.
#but i've said before he knew everyone who was big in Hollywood at the time#he must have had the best delicious stories#like the rat pack is just the start#alvadee's shit#vb
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🔥 Action, Betrayal, and Survival in the Wasteland!🔥 How far would you go to stay alive in a world gone mad? Rat and Miriam are about to find out... Don’t miss the wild journey! Read the full story here → https://www.screamingeyepress.com/twisted-pulp/issue-001/rat-and-miriam/
#Rat and Miriam#Graphic short story#Dystopian fiction#Post-apocalyptic#Sci-fi adventure#Action-packed#The State#Imperial police#Black market oxygen#Chase story#Mutant characters#Zombies#Wasteland survival#Dystopian world#Thriller fiction#Underground resistance#Futuristic storyline#Survival of the fittest#Tank chase#Sci-fi rebellion
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Thinks so hard abt swap au Wendy... Worlds lamest trans person sees being turned into a robot as a bad thing smh
#rat rambles#starve posting#now that my friend is an over simplification and in truth his situation is indeed deeply extistenstially horrifying#especially for a child who in no ways could ever be expected to process this at all but is left with nothing else to think about#long story short one night abby was like hey hey wendy you know what we should do? we should go camping!!#and packed a bunch of things a kid would think you need for camping and dragged wendy off into the woody mountains by the cabin their#family was vacationing at despite wendy saying thats a dumb idea and he doesnt want to go#eventually abby chose out a camping spot and ran off to get some firewood leaving wendy to wait and watch their stuff#then webber who as Ive barely but technically explained only half exists is watching sadly in the distance sad he can't join#and wendy sees him and is like wtf and webber gets super excited because wendy can see him but that ends up freaking wendy out more#leading to him backing away as webber tries to get close and slipping and falling down a very steep slope and bonking his head rip#he was basically dead and webber was upset and felt bad so he took it upon himself to save wendy's brain and make him a new body!#but since wendy's brain was pretty fucked a lot had to be replaced with robotic parts and pretty much all of wendy's memories were lost#he has some very very corrupted memory from the last night before he died and some scattered memories from when webber was testing shit#before his body was fully made and thats everything he could remember when waking up in his new body for the first time#to be clear he wasn't conscious the Entire time webber was working on his new body since webber kept him in a sleep like state mostly#only pulling him out of it for certain tests where he wanted his brain to be more responsive#mostly just to test like his eyes and ears and such#but yeah he got seperated from webber in a ~wild wacky storm~ and woke up alone in the constant proper#he is like soooo fucking miserable like all the time hes constantly feeling phantom pain and remebers just enough to know hes missing smth#and it only gets worse after he and abby are reunited because despite this being the one person he can vaguely remember being important to#him he cant seem to feel that same sense of familiarity he remembers feeling before and it just makes him more miserable#this ofc makes abby also freak out and since her way of dealing with things she doesnt know how to deal with is hard denial it gets worse#I <3 tragic siblings#but yeah wendy mostly copes with his situation by mangling critters into fucked up drone things to feel in control of smth#asside from the abby situation tho in general things start slowly getting better after he joins the other survivors#mostly just because he actually has to be like. a person. and while it is rly hard for him and he doesn't see himself as a person anymore#that doesnt stop unoticed progress from happening just due to the nature of being a person in a group of ppl who treat him as a person#and he and abby slowly start to bridge the gap between them but its very very rough for the first good while#its mostly a matter of abby calming down enough to realize that wendy is stressed out by this just as much if not more
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Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling’s 1960s love story ‘OCEANS 11’ prequel is still moving forward
Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling are set to star in a prequel to the iconic heist film ‘OCEANS 11’, which will explore the origins of the original crew and their romantic entanglements in the 1960s. The film, tentatively titled ‘OCEANS 10’, is still in development and has not been officially announced by Warner Bros., but producer Josey McNamara has confirmed that the project is alive and well. “I…
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#1960s heist film with rat pack cameo#debbie ocean jimmy logan love story#margot robbie ryan gosling oceans 11 prequel#oceans 10 movie news and updates#olivia milch josey mcnamara oceans 10 script
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I’ve always been a pretty good liar. As an adult I’ve come to a moral place in which I don’t use that skill set unless it will explicitly benefit someone. But when I was a kid all bets were off.
I think tiny child me was doing their little autistic best but recognized that some situations would be best navigated by lying as telling the truth never netted positive results. Whether it was because my needs often went unmet or ignored, or because I didn’t see any reason not to lie if it would be more favorable, I’m not sure.
This is the story of my proudest lie. The best lie I ever did. A lie that looking back I still go, damn, I was eight.
Our story begins in second grade. I was eight. My school was having a book fair and I spent my small stipend on Gulliver’s Travels. No idea why. Lacking further funds I wandered the fair and came upon the greatest sight known to man. Frog erasers. They were so cute and I was extremely into animals of all kinds.
The whimsy. Who could have known they made erasers in such wonderful shapes? I mourned that I’d spent my money already, and played quietly with the little frogs in their bin. That’s when I was approached by a few other kids from my class.
I didn’t know most of them very well, but enough that it was civil when they asked me, “Are you going to buy those frogs?”
“I’d like to,” I admitted, “but I spent all my money.”
“Why don’t you steal them?”
“I thought about that, but I don’t have pockets.” Indeed, stealing had crossed my mind but it had been a brief temptation. I wasn’t even scandalized that the other girls suggested it.
“Caitlin has pockets,” the leader of the pack said. And indeed, Caitlin in her purple overalls did have pocket space for two frogs. So Caitlin and I became partners. My role in the escapade was just... wanting frogs and walking out with her. We stole two frogs, a yellow and a purple, and united by the misdeed we played together with them at recess despite not really being friendly prior.
After lunch I was called from class to the library. The principal herself was there waiting for me. She had a somber air, almost mournful that she needed to punish me. It was self evident to me that I was here for frog crimes. Caitlin had cracked and taken the fastest route to forgiveness- snitching on an accomplice. Despite the fact that my role was just: wanted frogs, I knew I was going to be in trouble.
Now, I could have told the truth. Pulled a Caitlin and ratted on the girl who told us to steal them. But clearly I’d still be in trouble for having gone along with the morally bereft plan. I was mad at Caitlin for telling but not enough to foist the onus back into her.
“Do you know why you’re here?” The principal asked kindly.
“Is it about the frogs?”
“Yes, Caitlin told us you stole the frogs.”
I quivered my lip and drew myself up indignantly. “I didn’t steal them!”
She blinked at my vehemence but since I looked near tears she carefully asked, “What happened?”
“I really wanted the frogs, but I didn’t have any money. So I asked the librarian if I could take them and bring the money tomorrow! But she was really busy and lots of people were talking to her, and she said yes! But maybe she was saying yes to someone else? And I thought it was to me but Caitlin didn’t, but I was going to bring money tomorrow!”
The principal. Was flummoxed. This was a situation in which I clearly thought I’d done no wrong, in which she couldn’t prove I had done anything wrong, and which the librarian would almost certainly not be able to weigh in. She regarded me not with suspicion but rather vaguely confused as to how to handle me.
I got off with a slight warning that I should pay for things before taking them, despite not having been the one to take things in the first place, and the frogs were confiscated.
I was vaguely worried they’d call my parents but years later when I admitted the story to my mom as an adult she laughed herself sick and said she’d never gotten a call.
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Could you give any advice for "descriptive" writing of any scene or action scenes or mapping out the scenery (Mountains, forests, streets etc) - i believe this is a struggle for Non-English speaking writers due to lack of vast vocabulary.
Common Scenery Description Tips
Vocabulary is clearly an important part of description, but it doesn’t have to be a limit. The most important thing about description in fiction is picking the right details to mention:
How does the details add to the mood of the story? A mountain ridge will be dark, gray and foggy if the overall mood is meant to be mysterious/brooding. In contrast, a mountain can be brilliantly snow-capped, lush green and “smiling down” upon the character if they’re out for a light stroll.
How are the contrasts/complementary aspects being brought out?
Are you using the five senses? You can even combine the senses, ie. blue ringing of the church bells
(If you have the POV character) what
Some other tips for setting description:
Use similes and metaphors. Creative figures of speech always get my attention as a reader.
Mention story-specific elements. For example, “The sky was the shade of Zoes’ eyes” or “the mountains looked like a group of trolls sleeping on one another”
Be concise. Today’s readers don’t want to read paragraphs and paragraphs about one landscape. Outline the larger elements in the scene, their location and general mood. Add some details, then move on.
If the same location appears multiple times, differentiate the description little by little as you write, instead of trying to lay out one scene in too much detail at once.
That said, here are some helpful words/phrases:
Forests/Mountains
Color: bone-white, phantom-white, hazy gray
Sound: rumbling, booming grumbling, bellowing clapping, trundling, growling, thundering
Shape: crinkled, crumpled, knotted, grizzled, rumpled, wrinkled, craggy, jagged, gnarled, rugose
Action: sky-punching/stabbing/piercing/spearing, heaven-touching/kissing, snow-cloaked/hooded/wreathed/festooned
Sloping sides, sharp/rounded ridges, high point/peak/summit
Majestic, gargantuan humbling, vast, massive, titanic, towering, monumental, mighty, vast, humbling
Mountains having faces, etc.
Seas
Color: blue-green, crystal-clear crystalline, emerald, frothy, hazy, glistening, pristine, turquoise
Size: boundless, abyssal, fathomless, unconquerable, vast, wondrous
Sound: billowing, blustering, bombastic
Action: boisterous, agitated, angry, biting, breaking, brazen. Churning, bubbling, changing, brooding, calm, convulsing, enticing erratic, fierce, tempestuous, turbulent, undulating
Alluring, blissful, betwitching, breezy, captivating, chaotic, chilly, elemental, disorienting
Deserts
Sight: A landscape of sand, flat, harsh sunlight, cacti, tumbleweeds, dust devils, cracked land, crumbing rock, sandstone, canyons, wind-worn rock formations, tracks, dead grasses, vibrant desert blooms (after rainfall), flash flooding, dry creek
Sounds: Wind (whistling, howling, piping, tearing, weaving, winding, gusting), birds cawing, flapping, squawking, the fluttering shift of feasting birds, screeching eagles, the sound of one’s own steps, heavy silence, baying wild dogs
Smell: Arid air, dust, one’s own sweat and body odor, dry baked earth, carrion
Touch: Torrid heat, sweat, cutting wind, cracked lips, freezing cold (night) hard packed ground, rocks, gritty sand, shivering, swiping away dirt and sweat, pain from split lips and dehydration, numbness in legs, heat/pain from sun stroke, clothes…
Taste: Grit, dust, dry mouth & tongue, warm flat canteen water, copper taste in mouth, bitter taste of insects for eating, stringy wild game (hares, rats) the tough saltiness of hardtack, biscuits or jerky, an insatiable thirst or hunger
Streets
Dusty, fume-filled, foul, sumptuous, broad, bucolic, decayed, mournful, seemingly endless, empty, unpaved, lifeless, dreadfully genteel, muddy, nondescript, residential/retail
Bleach, flimsy, silent, narrow, crooked, furrowed, smoggy, commonplace, tumbledown, treeless, shady
The blacktop streets absorb the spring sunshine as if intent upon sending heaven's warmth back through my soles.
The streets absorbed the emotions in the air, the city as the steady and reassuring mother.
The streets were a marriage of sounds, from bicycle wheels to chattering.
In the refreshing light of early daytime, the streets had the hues of artistic dreamtime, soft yet bold pastels.
Cobbled streets flowed as happy rivers in sunlight.
Parties
Some extra tips for locations like parties, where lots of action is going around practically everywhere:
Focus on the important characters - where they are, who they’re with.
Provide some overall description of the structure of the party scene (a pool, a two-storey house with yard?), then move on to details.
Don’t try to describe everything.
whirlwind of laughter and music, a symphony of joyous chaos.
It was a gathering that shimmered with the glow of twinkling lights and echoed with the rhythm of dancing feet.
The air was alive with excitement, buzzing with conversations and the clink of glasses.
Every corner held a story waiting to unfold, a moment waiting to be captured in memory.
It was a tapestry of colors, a mosaic of faces, each adding their own brushstroke to the vibrant canvas of the night.
Laughter cascaded like a waterfall, infectious and unstoppable, filling the room with warmth.
The night was a carnival of senses, with aromas of delicious food mingling with the melodies that filled the air.
Time seemed to slip away in the whirl of the party, moments blending into each other like colors on a palette.
The energy of the crowd was electric, pulsing through the room like a heartbeat, binding everyone in a shared moment of celebration.
It was a celebration of life, where worries faded into the background, and the present moment was all that mattered.
#writers and poets#writing#creative writing#writers on tumblr#creative writers#helping writers#let's write#poets and writers#writeblr#resources for writers#writing practice#writing prompt#writing community#writing advice#writing tips#on writing#writing inspiration#writer#writerscommunity#writers block#writer community#writblr#writers of tumblr#writers community#writers life#writer stuff
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And also Stor Wors uwu
#pepper writes#star wars#post order 66#rat pack#rat pack stories#clone ocs#original clone characters#ao3#archive of our own
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Ways your fortified points-of-light fantasy city with no discernible agricultural base supports itself that aren't "they eat the monsters":
There's no farmland spreading below the city's mountain fastness because all of the crops are above. Most of the mountain's surface area below the permanent snowline is taken up by a series of colossal hydroponic terraces fed by seasonal meltwater from the snow pack above. (Don't ask who built the terraces.)
The city's famed heaven-piercing towers are aviaries for millions upon untold millions of fruit and seed eating birds, which forage the surrounding countryside by day and roost there at night; their meat and eggs form the community's staple diet. In order to fend off ecological depletion, crack teams of combat-trained wilderness maintenance experts venture forth daily, escorting great cartloads of birdshit on targeted fertilising missions (though in truth they hardly need their swords, as the smell keeps the monsters at bay).
Those weird caverns that seem to be present under every random shed and outhouse are all connected. That's why the giant mutant rats in the basement of the local inn are such a big deal – they're not just annoying the guests, they're also obstructing the community's principal trade route!
For Reasons, the city's population is only about ten percent of its carrying capacity. The city's interior green spaces are presently sufficient for food production, and its citizens take turns dressing up as soldiers and manning the walls once a week to create the illusion of a robust military presence. Unfortunately, the ruse can't last forever, as they lack the manpower to maintain their crumbling infrastructure, nor will they be able to defend themselves when – not if, but when – the neighbouring city-states figure it out.
There's actually plenty of conventional farmland; it's just that the entire campaign takes place south of the city, and the farms are all to the north. Why don't the farms expand southward to claim the clearly arable land? Well, there's a funny story about that...
#gaming#tabletop roleplaying#tabletop rpgs#fantasy#worldbuilding#food mention#violence mention#unsanitary#swearing
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Minecraft Live 2024 Highlights
I've been lied to, they started early!
It's ("just") youtubers/streamers talking abt what minecraft means to them. 15th anniversary celebration moments
dantdm is here!! (on video)
i saw someone say "please bring back copper".... who took copper from you,,
ENDERCUP MENTION!!!!!!!
throwback to when everyone wanted the final sequence of endercup to be a teaser of a new end update (but maybe this time????? 👀👀👀)
One final compilation of all the big youtubers right now (including a Lot of familiar faces from hermitcraft, life series, rats, even rtgame!)
Inside footage of the mincraft stockholm office! (Incredible decoration hoooly)
not the movie mention 💀
the original minecraft trailer!!!! that's the one that got me to play....
jeb! recapping this year
change of pace in releasing features???
more frequent regular updates instead of the big yearly one!! like the armadillos
two drops that will release in the next few months!
First drop new unique biome
Second drop is a combination of two things: hardcore mode in bedrock, and bundles!!
VILLAGER NEWS INTERRUPTION
SHOUTOUT TO INCLUDING STEVE IN THE LISTING OF MONSTERS BY THE VILLAGERS
rip villager number 31
rip... all the villagers?
new monster<333333333
few things i can say about the way they introduced the minecraft movie other than the fact it came directly after the banger villager news horror story and that i grimaced at their word choice. it might have included "authentic".
at least chat is no longer fighting! they're very united in their hatred <3
this entire segment has me starting tiredly into the camera like i'm on the office.
"one meter by one meter was too big" go order a fucking creeper. looking at the uncanny valley and feeling at home IS THE POINT
minecraft in real life experience!!!! (a la that one van gogh exhibit if you know that)
New biome announcement!!
OOOO IT'S LIKE A DEAD FOREST BETWEEN DARK OAK AND SPRUCE CALLED THE PALE GARDEN
2x2 grey trees, hanging moss, silence, Meant to be creepy at night
SOMETHING LURKING IN THE SHADOWS
created for low visibility, new grey moss (hanging like vines and block and carpet!)
CREAKING A TREE-LIKE CREATURE, HARD TO SEE EXCEPT THE YELLOW EYES IT HAS/ IT DOESNT TAKE DAMAGE BC IT'S CONNECTED TO A BLOCK IN THE CANOPY
creaking is a hivemind puppet of the creaking heart block!!! you need to destroy that to kill the creaking
THE CREAKING ONLY MOVES WHEN YOU LOOK AWAY. DON'T. BLINK.
the creaking heart drops as a block and can be placed by players <3
i love this guy smsmsmsmsm
pale oak wood set!!!!! WHITE WOOD
moss inspired by weeping willow trees and spanish moss!!
new wood type is for bdubs personally. i think.
return to villager news! news reporter villager 9 survived along with the nitwit, who is using this newfound power to get his justice
... so no end update [breaks skateboard]
but aftershow pale garden playing!
i love him so much,,,,,
peak commentary: "....whoops"
it feels mean to say but my main takeaway from them showing off the little village they made using different material in combination with the pale oak is "oh none of these people are very good at building" very 2015 vibes. they shouldve just given scar and bdubs a texture pack
creaking hard needs to be aligned between two pale oak logs for it to activate!! making for easy on/off switches
the block stays on and red as long as a creaking is spawned in!
this means that 1) red heart flooring will have Basements of creaking mistreatment and 2) if you want cool particle beams, pray your server doesn't have peta
competition of farming creaking hearts that keeps spawning more creakings? banger design honestly. in gridrunners when
group of creaking has officially been deemed a crunch <3
ignoring a certain movie, absolute banger of a minecraft live. Very excited to see the next releases come to the game!
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adah imagine prisoner!toji getting eaten up by his own thoughts one night in his cell. because how can this be satisfying for you? having quick sex once every two months? a girl like you deserves so much better. so he brings it up one time during the visits, and you see how hard it is for him, but still, through gritted teeth he reassures you he wouldn’t blame you for indulging in someone else every once in a while. JUST THE ANGST!! and reader of course being like … what the fuck are you talking ab i jerk off to your pictures?
prison bf toji series linked here <3
content: hurt/comfort, angst
“and then turns out there actually was a fucking rat in his cell,” your boyfriend wheezes, his booming laughs marking the end of the story he’d been telling you for the past half hour.
the visiting hall is bustling today, packed to the brim with the wives, partners, and kids of the state’s incarcerated, all making the drive up right before new years.
you notice the sudden silence as your shared laughs die down, bemused at the inmate’s choice to not keep the conversation going.
“you okay?” you ask, reaching across the table to intertwine your fingers.
except toji doesn’t squeeze your hand like he always does, letting the appendage lay limp in yours.the older man opens his mouth to say something, looking around the busy room with a hint of anxiety behind his eyes.
“do you miss.. how we used to be?” he asks, voice sounding detached.
something sour stirs in the pit of your stomach at the way he’s acting. if the sudden change in ambiance didn’t give you whiplash, his vague question definitely did the job.
“i mean, of course i do,” you laugh nervously, rubbing a thumb softly over his knuckles. the inmate squeezes back this time, quelling the storm of anxiety bubbling in your chest.
“the sex i mean,” he explains, looking up from the floor to speak to you head on. “do you feel.. deprived? are your needs getting met?”
your thumb stills for just a moment as you think it over, though you doubt he even notices. the truth was yes, going from getting fucked every day to getting fucked every 6 or 7 weeks wasn’t exactly ideal. but what else were you two supposed to do? the man was serving a 7 year sentence for christ’s sake.
toji takes your momentary silence as an answer, sitting up straighter before speaking once more.
“i’m just saying if you ever found a man to fill in the gaps then i’d be open to it,” he explains. you notice a hint of unsureness behind his stone facade, catching onto the way his hand begins to fiddle with yours. what was he playing at?
“you’re saying you want me to cheat on you?” you ask, exasperated. where was this even coming from?
“god, fuck,” he sighs frustratedly, running both hands over his face slowly.
“i can’t give you what you need, can’t— not like how we used to,” his voice tapers off at the end like he’s scared to upset you. “shiu’s had a crush on you for years, i’d know he’d take good care of you.”
you step back from the table to gather yourself, pacing in front of the inmate like a woman gone mad. you’re grateful the constant circulation of inmates and visitors in the room is drawing attention away from you, otherwise an officer probably would have come over by now.
you couldn’t even believe what toji was offering to you. seeking out other men— his business partners—to “fill in the gaps”? when the love of your life was only a car drive away? fat fucking chance.
you stalk over to his side of the table, pointing an accusatory finger to his face.
“if you ever..” you pause, blinking away tears, “think that i’d give up on you just because we don’t have sex as often as we did then you’d be fucking crazy.”
you see him audibly flinch when your voice cracks, the weight of your emotions bringing him literal pain. toji’s eyes have gone wide, realizing the implications of his offer.
“i’m sorry baby, fuck, i’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling your face into the curve of his neck despite the harsh restrictions on touch set during visits. you silently thank the bustling crowd again for shielding the two of you, clutching at each other so deeply you think you might just meld into him.
“don’t want anybody but you,” you say with finality, pressing soft kisses to his pulse.
“i know sweetheart, i hear ya.”
you stay like that for the rest of your visit, breathing in each other’s warmth as calloused hands rubs circles into your back. neither of you say anything, not needing to when both do you knew you’d always find a way to make it work.
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The 30th
Billie Eilish x female reader !
A/n: was listening to this today and I had to write for this song, I actually love it. I hope you enjoy the story, it's actually one of my favs :,)
Summary: You got in a crash, after something bad was happening, you had called billie leaving her worried after you hung up, and didn't respond to her texts.
Warnings: angsty angst. Car crash, a hospital, depression, arguments ??, happy ending 😇
Masterlist
Things weren't like they were. Things were harder now that she wasn't in your life as much. And God you missed her. You had just gotten out of a toxic relationship. Your best friend, Billie had gone distant because of that.
"She's manipulating you and you can't fucking see it." She screams. You two were currently in an argument. "Stop this." - "No actually that's a lie you do see it you just don't want to admit the fact she's using you." Angry tears run down your cheeks. "Be quiet, you don't know what you're saying right now." Her head shakes. "I don't know what you're saying right now. You're not you, Y/n. You haven't been ever since you got with that son of a bitch." You slap her, out of instinct. Things fall silent. Fuck, why'd you do that? She stares at you. After a moment you speak. "I just think you're jealous." She scoffs. "Of what being in an abusive relationship?" - "No! Because she gets to have me and you don't."
Silence, yet again. "You know." She begins, everything's still, quieter. "Even if that was the case. I certainly don't want this version of you."
And that was the very last time you spoke to her. I mean how can you even communicate after a fight like that. The way she left shortly after. You loved Billie she's been there for you through it all, ever since you were kids. Everything feels so empty without her. She was your everything. And now that's all gone. You knew she didn't even want to see you right now. But you desperately needed to hear her voice.
The breakup had ended horrible. You told her you just couldn't anymore, because Billie was right. She was right about everything. You told your ex that she was infact mentally abusing you. Violently fucking up your brain. And just as you thought, she took it terribly. She started to scream at you, things breaking. Your heart aching. You wanted to get away but you were scared. All you could think of was Billie but she wasn't even near you. She's gone from your life. And you don't blame her.
It was all your fault, you chanted. All your fault. "Hey! You fucking listen to me." You hear your now ex's rough voice booming in your ears. Your attention back on her. "Can you please calm down-" "No I fucking won't. Was it her?" Your eyes roll slightly having enough, you were tired. "No, Bee. It wasn't her, i don't even talk to her anymore thanks for the reminder." She stares at you. "Did you two have something going on?" You sigh out, going to leave. She grabs your arm gripping tightly. "I asked you, a question." "Even if I had, why do you care you're most likely sleeping with others." She went quiet. You weren't stupid. Staying so long with her? Yeah that was stupid. But you knew everything all along. You knew she was using you but you lied to yourself. "Fine, whatever I don't even give a rats ass anymore. You were pathetic anyways."
You were laying on your couch, trying to feel something. Shouldn't you be happy she's gone? You should. But you're not. You don't have anyone, what's the point in anything when life is as dull as it is. Silent tears still escaping your eyes. You didn't want to be here anymore. Should you pack up and leave? Move out of the country, start a new life? You knew you had to do one thing before any of that. You grab your phone and dial her number.
"Hello?" She answered after 5 rings. She really answered. You take a second finding it so foreign to hear her voice again after months.
"Me and her broke up, sorry I was such a bad friend, you were right about everything - I love you."
And just like that you hung up. You didn't want to even know her response. Quickly getting up and grabbing a duffle bag, packing it and heading out to your car. Those tears still spilling from your eyes. But you didn't even know why, they just kept coming.
You were driving on the motorway, hearing your phone ding like crazy. Eyes faintly blurry. Your sobs eventually came out of you. You hadn't properly cried in such a long time it's like you needed this. But the unthinkable happens and you almost forgot you were driving. Everything happened so fast. Everything went black.
Billies View.
It was November the 30th. I was sitting at home, but the day just felt odd. I couldn't pin point why. Until my phone started to vibrate, I look to see her name pop up. I stare in disbelief. I didn't know if I should answer. But I ended up doing so. "Hello." I say, wondering what this was about. Then I hear her voice. Her sweet soft voice. But it wasn't as sweet than I remembered. Wasn't as soft. It was dull, full of exhaustion. "Me and her broke up, sorry I was such a bad friend, you were right about everything - I love you."
Those were the last words I heard before she hangs up. My heart rate quickens sensing my feelings were right about this weird day. Something bad was about to happen.
I spam her phone, trying to get her to message me back. When there's nothing I'm immediately in my car. Knowing exactly where to go. Knowing her mind. But as I get on the motorway the cars are piled up. Fuck, fuck. Fuck. Then that makes more panic rise inside me, it's early in the morning why is there so many cars backed up. Then I see the vehicle I truly did not want to see. "No.." I breathe out. I didn't care about the traffic, it wasn't moving anyways so I get out of my car. Run down the side to try get to the ambulance. This can not be happening, please be a nightmare. "Wake up Billie. This isn't real." Oh but it was. I see her car upside down, and my heart sinks down to my ass.
I sprint to the ambulance, seeing her body, still. On the small stretcher. "Woah-" "im family." I sternly say. I was getting in there whether he liked it or not. "Family?" The male infront of me inquires. I think for a second. "Girlfriend." Did I really just say that. The other guy nods at the one infront of me. "Let her on." I go over to her instantly. I felt sick to my stomach, her skin pale. My brows knit together. "Shes unconscious, and quite injured." But that's all I heard them say. My ears ring, head spinning. Everything about this broke my heart.
Readers view.
You couldn't shake the slight throbs through your head. Your eyes opening slightly, feeling as if you were in a car. A groggy groan comes out of you. Your eyes then open enough to see someone above you. How did you even get here was the only thing running through your mind. "Y/n?" You hear faintly, your eyes open fully now. Seeing Billie. You were in an ambulance? You were still trying to remember everything. "Love?" You then hear her say. "W-what happened?" It comes out muddled but she understood. "You got into a crash." As soon as she says that it's slowly coming back to you, every feeling, flooding you entirely. "Why a-are you here tho? How'd you k-know." Your voice was incredibly weak.
"You don't remember calling me.." She breathes. "Huh?" Billie shakes her head. "Nothing- what do you remember?" She asks. You think for a moment. "Breaking up with her- a-and then falling asleep on my couch after she left." You say, looking at her. "I don't really remember the rest or how I got here-" She nods as you say that. Not before your eyes start to slowly close.
You were awoken by a beeping, adjusting to the slight light in the room. You look around noticing you were in a hospital on a bed. You turn to see Billie laying slightly on a chair in the corner, asleep. How long has it been, you wondered. You continue to look around, going to move when a pain shoots through your side. You winced in pain. Causing Billie to stir awake. She looks at you. "Hey, take it easy." Her soft voice, followed by her coming over was truly comforting. Her eyes stare at your own. "You look pretty." She then says, grabbing your hand, placing it in her own. A small smile was to be seen on your face. Your smile. The one she always made you do before you had changed. You were happier then.
"Billie.. I'm scared." You then say, she takes a moment. "Me too. They haven't told me about what's going on, probably because I'm not immediate family." She sighs. But for your sake she knows you need reassuring. "You'll be ok though, you're here right now right?" You nod gently. "My side really hurts-" "the meds must be wearing off. They said if you woke up to press this button and it'll inject some into you." Everything felt normal again between the both of you... key word, felt.
Months go by and you slowly get back into eachothers lives, but something was still missing. It was her. And not in the way previously. You've always loved Billie. But maybe it was a romantic love. You wanted to be hers. Everything was dull still. You had ended up squishing your ribs slightly in the crash, so that was in the process of healing. Along with your heart. It was a Sunday, you were just watching TV when Billie was going to come round. She opens the door eventually, waving at you. You wave back. She had sensed you still weren't yourself, she saw it. However It wasn't always, you tried your hardest to put on a smile for her majority of the time.
Today however was a hard day, your mind would not shut off and you just couldn't bare trying to fake it. She then comes over to you. Needing to talk about everything. You had requested that there'd be no talk of any of it till you were ready but she needed to get some things off her chest.
"Sometimes you look the same.. just like you did before the accident." You look at her, emotionless. "Shes out of your life now-" "I know. But I still feel empty inside Billie." There was a soft silence. "I know you don't remember calling me. Right before the accident. You said you loved me." Was she piecing this feeling you were feeling together. It was coming back to you. You had called her and said that. "I know it wasn't a friendship kind of 'I love you'." You didn't know how to respond to her, keeping your gaze on her. "I need to know if it's true. Or if I'm going insane, because if it is true. Tell me." You still say nothing, feeling tears pool in your eyes, knowing how miserable you've been because you don't have her the way you truly wanted.
She needed to confess something.
"What if it happened to you on a different day. What if you hadn't called me beforehand. What if it was on a bridge where there wasn't a rail in the way, What if you fell into deep water and no one could find you. If you changed anything would you not of survived." Now she's tearing up, frantically saying all these things that have been deep inside of her for far too long. "You're alive, you're alive. You're. Alive." You leap forward bringing her into a hug not even caring about your rib. You hug her so tightly. She gently hugs you back holding you close, whispering into your hair. "Your alive." - "I'm inlove with you Billie." You speak into her shoulder, crying yourself. Crying hard.
She pulls you back grabbing your face gently. "I'm inlove with you too, and seeing her break you like she did. Hurt me. Knowing I could've done better, in a good way. I would've protected you. Cared for you. Love you. The way you always deserved." You smile at her. Your true smile and this just makes her say the next 2 words. "Be mine." Your smile widens. "How could I ever say no." You both smile, leaning in and kissing one another tenderly.
Let's just say she was forever thankful for that call that day.
#billie eilish fluff#billie eilish x you#billie eilish x reader#billie#billie eilish#billie ellish lyrics#billie eilish angst
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