#rap battle and or twerk off

[davidtennantpussydimension]

get his ass

[bluegekk0]

feral pale king vs soggy radiance vs sexy grimm vs lazy unn FIGHT

hm what kind of fight is it?

a death battle? either the radiance kills everyone else (she wins), or grimm kills the radiance and unn, and then leaves with pk to wrestle in bed instead (stalemate)

a dance battle? grimm sweeps easily

a twerk off? i think unn would be the unexpected champion in this one, despite her lazy title

a rap battle? it would definitely end with pk and the radiance hurling shakespearean tier insults at each other and the other two watching, but who would win? pk has the vocabulary, but can he rap?

much to think about

[kickmag]

Kendrick Lamar Releases GNX + Video For Squabble Up

Kendrick Lamar surprised fans and released the mostly unannounced GNX album. His sixth studio album comes just months before his much-talked-about Super Bowl show. It's been 13 years since his Section.80 debut, and today he is an icon dealing with usual life issues and the burdens of success. GNX is the first album released on his PNG Lang label after leaving Top Dawg Entertainment and Interscope. He kicks off the album, which is named after a Buick model, with "wacced out murals," reporting on haters and how he dismisses them over horns and sirens, made for an epic drama. Lamar sets the tone and then raps about rappers with fake identities, his upcoming Super Bowl performance, love, success, and of course, the feud with Drake that led "Not Like Us" to become the biggest single of 2024.

Everything is not about being a weary rap king though; "Squabble Up" flips Debbie Deb's freestyle classic, "When I Hear Music," to become a twerk-worthy anthem. Sza is one of the guests, and she joins Lamar for the R&B duet "luther," which is a tribute to the late crooner Luther Vandross and '80s soul siren Cheryl Lynn. Lamar picks up where Mary J. Blige and Method Man's "All I Need" and Nas and Lauryn Hill's "If I Ruled the World" left off. The responsibilities of being a rap king and the attending accolades (Pulitzer, platinum status, and plenty of money), won't change the fact that GNX sounds like there is still a mountain or two left for him to climb. "Man at the Garden" could be his take on Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight" with its melodramatic and almost suspenseful atmosphere. Lamar demands more recognition and luxury lifestyle signifiers, signaling a hunger to reach another level of status in the Western world. Fans are still obsessing over the Drake thing, especially now that the Canadian rapper filed a lawsuit against the record label for allegedly using Payola to make Lamar's "Not Like Us" a hit. GNX's release comes at the perfect time because it will be promoted on one of the biggest stages in the world at the game next year. Additionally, it reminds everyone that Lamar stands out as one of the most competent and creative voices of his generation, not just as the guy who beat Drake in a battle.

[sunshinee0-0]

Random Skz boyfriend headcannos :)

Paring: ot8 x Reader

Warnings ⚠: Mention of sexual interaction, twerking on objects, water spit into somebody's face, ass slapping, rap battle, fights, play fights, bugs, mention of skipping meals.

AN: ah!! I thought this would be fun so here you go! Two of these are inspired by songs and some of these are things i've done before :) Oh also, i got courage to post it @pipiripi Enjoy!

Jisung's the type of person who dislikes when people don't fully write out texts, he hates when people text, 'Gn' or 'Gm' he would much rather have you write it out.

Felix bakes you cookies whenever your stressed about school or work and hides them in your bag for you to find later.

Changbin had once put on a scary movie for your date night so you could cuddle into him only for him to also get scared. You guys still cuddled but scaredly

Hyunjin takes pictures of you when your not looking only to show you after and watch you get all flustered.

Minhos lock screen is you with his cat

Whenever Chan's driving he always has his hand on your thigh. Doesn't even have to be in a sexual way, he just likes knowing your still there.

Jisung sometimes forgets to take of his glasses when he goes to bed so you have to remind him.

Chan sprays his hoodies with his cologne before giving it to you.

On your first date with Seungmin you guys went to a pet shelter and played with puppies.

Hyunjin will take you out for ice cream really late at night if he cant sleep.

You and Felix got kicked out of walmart for playing spies

Jisung got ban from chuchy-cheese for tweaking on chuchy. A least he made you laugh.

You and Changbin found a tennis ball on the side of the street, his name is bally and its your guys child.

Minho likes slapping your ass randomly. You could just be laying down in bed watching YouTube and he would just come up and slap your ass.

Seungmin really likes to braid your hair, doesn't matter how long it is or how short it is. He just really likes doing it. He likes it even better if you braid his hair.

Hyunjin always has one or more hair ties on his wrist just for you.

Jeongin like using your shampoo and conditioner. But it's only because your conditioner is better then his! That's what he says anyway.

Jeongin also likes 'borrowing' your chapstick.

Felix likes to send you little audio clips of him playing piano and singing.

Seungmin sometimes sings to you whenever you cant sleep.

You and Changbin had a rap battle in an empty IHOP parking lot. (He won but only because he kept using 'yoh')

You Jeongin always do your morning and night routines together.

Seungmin knows that you hate ordering for yourself so he orders for you

You and Felix will play the 'punch buggies, no punch backs' game whenever you guys are driving. He'll lightly pouch your shoulder and go, 'punch buggie no punch backs, red!'

You Jisung once did the 'Try Not laugh challenge' with water in your mouth. And with the first few seconds Jisungs laughs and 'accidentally' spit water into your face. You guys never played again

Minho likes it when you wear his rings.

When you and Chan had your first fight, he left just to let you cool off and came back with a bunch of chocolates and a big ass teddy bear. That bear is still in your room to this day.

Jisung calls you 'Bub' or 'Bubba'

Hyunjin waits for your goodnight text every night because he can't fall asleep until you do.

Changbin loves wearing matching outfits with you.

Minho loves spoiling you (they all do) but Minho he just loves to see the look on your face whenever he gets you something you've been looking at for a few months now.

Once you and Felix went to the park together and you both thought it was funny to you into the baby swings only for the both of you to get stuck and call for help.

While making breakfast you and Seungmin put on a bunch of soft and cheesy love songs.

Also Seungmin would love to go on Bugs dates <33

The first time changbin said 'i love you' to you, he let is slip while you guys where washing dishes.

You and Minho always have tickle fights. He always sometimes wins >:(

Chan hates it when you skip meals, he's generally offend that you forget to eat. Your his baby, why wouldn't you feed yourself? :( He even has a reminder set on his phone so he can remind you to do so. (Another one who gets so offend when you skip meals is Minho and Hyunjin)

All of the boys love it and I mean LOVE it when you take their favorite hoodies.

[wweassets]

The Usos and the New Day had a rap battle but we what we really need is a twerk off. Twerk off for the WWE Undisputed Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania!

that’s EXACTLY the match we need idk best for business

[leejungchans]

juliet’s relationships with ateez.

they’re so beautiful i’m gonna fucking cryhdjhfjshsjs i’m going through it 💔

#HONGJOONG; (HONGLIET)

juliet is the self-proclaimed favourite child of hongjoong

she was very shy pre-debut and was scared of clashing with him, so they never fought

they became a lot closer when she asked hongjoong to help her with her rapping; she was always trained to be a vocalist so she thought her rapping needed work and (shyly) approached him asking for his advice

as they became more comfortable with each other, she learnt to honestly communicate her thoughts with him

makes sure hongjoong doesn’t overwork himself; brings him food, coffee, or just accompanies him silently when he’s working; will not hesitate to use her sad puppy eyes to convince him to go back to their dorm so he can get proper rest

she always looks on with a very proud smile when she hears hongjoong speaking in english; he picked up a little bit of her aussie accent too :>

actually doesn’t mind being a little shorter than him but she wears platform shoes a lot to tease him; he has jokingly threatened to throw them away

she is very worried about his scalp; but she loved his red and blue hair, and of course the famous mullet

with hongjoong especially it’s literally “juliet see, juliet do” :c

hongjoong dotes on juliet especially because she will always be a baby in his eyes; when they first met she was around 15, so he has always been really gentle with her; he looks after her extremely well

never lets her pay for anything despite her protests

she wants to treat him to stuff too :<

overall a very wholesome relationship

#SEONGHWA; (HWALIET)

another very, very wholesome relationship

he’s so, so gentle with her but will goof around with her too :(((

is the one who brings snacks, an extra jacket or blanket for her because she always forgets

when they first debuted, juliet would be very uneasy before public appearances because of the hate and comments she’d get; seonghwa was always there to calm her down and support her

when she was still in school he would nag her to do her homework hajshwjsj

she’s close with all the boys’ family but perhaps the closest with seonghwa’s and will sometimes visit his family with him during breaks!!

seonghwa is usually the first person juliet goes to if she’s having a bad day

she clings to him a lot, like, a lot; she will attach herself to his arm like a koala any chance she gets

sharing almost identical disgusted expressions

he always makes sure she’s eating; he gets sad if she doesn’t

late night talks with warm tea

each other’s #1 hype man; as much as she acts disgusted when seonghwa does aegyo or purposefully acts sexy, you can always hear her cheering him on in the background

that doesn’t mean she doesn’t tease him though

“excuse me, please put your tongue away” “mY hiPs aRe fLeXibLe” “sO hAwT” “wOw, AmAziNg” “...please stop”

#YUNHO; (JUNHO)

two babies

juliet lives to see yunho smile and it’s her life’s mission to make sure he stays happy forever

yunho always gives her piggyback rides

the height difference between these two is the funniest thing ever because she isn’t even that short but she always looks like a dwarf next to yunho

“uh...excuse me, you’re forgetting something :/” “huh? ohhh...[crouches down to match her height]” “thank you :D”

yunho brings out juliet’s happiest side effortlessly because it’s just impossible to be sad around him

that being said, yunho is her designated giant teddy bear whenever she’s sad

they always start dancing out of nowhere

you will hear her whooping and cheering very loudly in the background whenever yunho twerks and stuff

yunho’s fellow harry potter fan

he likes pinching her cheeks, patting her head and playing with her hair

but if he tries to use her head as an armrest she will kick him (out of love :3)

#YEOSANG; (SANGLIET)

someone save ateez from these two because they love roasting everyone

will not hesitate to roast each other as well

best friends who judge people together

when the others say or do something questionable, you can sometimes see yeosang and juliet exchange looks or hide their faces from secondhand embarrassment

little beans who get shy easily :(

she is yeosang’s biggest hype man; he could literally just be breathing and she will still go “wow, a living statue, absolutely breathtaking” “an angel sent to us from the heavens above” “yes, vocal king! yes, dance legend!”

they do everything in tiny :((((((((

they dance to the ponytail song together

she loves his birthmark so much and practically tells him that every day; she thinks it makes him even more beautiful and unique

he likes her cooking a lot so she always makes him food and lets him help out

“please don’t cut off your finger...” “do fingers grow back?” “i don’t know but i don’t want to find out from you.”

The™ best comedic duo but no one is ready to admit that yet

#SAN; (JUSAN)

juliet constantly judges san jokingly but she’s honestly just as chaotic

he once spun her ipad on his finger and almost dropped it; she didn’t speak to him for an hour

like hongjoong, san also picked up on her aussie accent a bit

juliet goes :OOOO every time san shows off his martial arts skills

if they’re not wreaking havoc together, then one of them is filming the other wreaking havoc alone while laughing hysterically behind the camera

she looks up to san so, so much; the way he improved his dancing tremendously through hard work and determination inspires her deeply

they learn other groups’ choreographies together

hypes the other up for everything

loves his voice so much; listens to him sing with heart eyes and vice versa

so, so clingy :((( they’re just tiny babies who need a lot of love and affection

juliet loves san so much and it breaks her heart knowing that he struggles with self-esteem like she does; they have a lot of deep talks where they talk for hours in the dark

#MINGI; (2MIN)

2Min!!!!!! 🥺

a giant and a baby

that only applies to their heights, though; because they’re both babies personality-wise

juliet is either being loud and dumb with him or she’s going “ahsjajsj please stop, we’re idols •_•”; there is no in between

she’d let mingi give her more piggyback rides but the first time he gave her one he almost dropped her

juliet never shuts up about how good mingi is at rapping and dancing; she’ll tell you that at least once a day

“anyways, mingi is such a good rapper and dancer. did i mention how phenomenal he is? because he is the best rapper and dancer :]”

whenever juliet sings/dances, mingi always looks on very proudly

“our main vocalist/dancer, everyone!”

her designated giant teddy bear number 2

like with hongjoong, she makes sure mingi is eating and sleeping because he works a lot too :(

it makes mingi really happy when she tries to rap his parts

juliet is the leader of the mingi protection squad, if you hurt him she’ll actually k word you in your sleep

#WOOYOUNG; (2YOUNG)

2Young; when they get paired up together for stuff, they introduce themselves with “2!” “Young!”

dear god, they are so loud

she’s either the first one shushing him or the others are telling both of them to shut up

wooyoung screams a lot so to juliet the only solution is to be even louder

siblings who annoy each other but also love the other to bits and will kill for each other

one time they did a v-live together and an atiny pointed out how when juliet says “no” it sounds like “noerrrrr”; wooyoung hasn’t let it go since and clowns her for it every chance he gets

one minute they’re bickering over something stupid and the next they’re cuddling on the sofa and laughing at random stuff on their phones

wooyoung teases her for literally everything, from her height to her australian accent; it’s a miracle she hasn’t killed him yet

“wooyoung dance king!”

she loves his vocals so much :(

she also loves his laugh; she thinks it’s very contagious and it always makes her laugh even harder

very clingy pt.2 :(((((

they like to cook together; despite juliet’s constant teasing, she genuinely loves his cooking

the biggest army’s

the duo that has everyone wrapped around their fingers

#JONGHO; (JONGLIET)

they’re the youngest ones so they’re bound to be chaotic together

they have a secret handshake!!

since they’re the only ones who don’t share a birth year with anyone in the group, they call themselves the “21st century duo”

another tom-and-jerry relationship but they love each other to bits i promise :’)

high note battles that make the others go •_•

their duets though :’)))) a blessing

when they sang miss a’s “good-bye baby” together at mama 2019

vocal legends

jongho always use the fact that she’s the youngest against her, especially when they’re asked to do aegyo

“i think the maknae should do it >:)” “jongHO SHUTUPJAGSJAJS”

“well, he’s the youngest among the boys, so i think he should go too”; cue his look of ultimate betrayal

imagine her face when she saw his red hair for the first time :(

“omgomgomg now you’re a real apple!!!” :(((((

more piggyback rides!!

okay, but juliet is honestly so grateful for jongho; they’re the closest in age so it’s always very easy for her to talk to him and she loves him a lot :’(

they understand each other very deeply and usually they don’t need to exchange words to know what the other is thinking/feeling

she can overthink a lot and in those moments he’s her voice of reason and is always there to help her through those times

partners in crime :>

[vixenpen]

ooo can we get black reader playing hip hop music for them (I don’t know if you already done this) but they give her the aux and they turn up! We also find out todoroki is a barb

Pass me the Aux Chord!

I had so much fun writing this low key 😂

Class 1A has decided to have a party on the beach

A bonfire was going

A handful of the class was playing volleyball

The other handful was dancing around the bonfire to Jirou’s playlist

It was cute or whatever, but you felt the party could get way more lit

“Jirou, pass me the aux chord!” You called out

Mineta motions for it, “No me!” I’ve got a great playlist

“Ribbit, nobody’s gonna to dance with you Mineta. No matter how many pervy slow songs you try to put on.”

Hagakure is cackling

Mineta is crying

“Give it to her lobes, we all know she was one of the best playlists next to yours.”

Jirou hands you the jack, you immediately put on your ‘Hot Girl Summer’ playlist

Nicki Minaj starts pumping.

“He’ll yeah!” Mina is the first one dancing. Starts twerking on Kirishima whose red in the face

Deku, Uraraka and Froppy start dancing on each other and you’re like: 👀👀👀

Iida starts lecturing you about nOiSe CoMpLaIntS and DiStUrbInG tHe PeAcE

You crank it louder.

Sero and Denki are dancing together, holding drinks over their heads

The speakers pop out for a moment and all of a sudden y’all hear:

“This right here might make a bitch die! And this right here gone make a bitch cry!”

Everybody turns around to see Shouto Socially awkward Todoroki going off on that chorus

He stops and looks around confused

“...what?...”

“AAAYYYYEEEE! TODOROKI’S A BAAAARRRBBB!!! YAAASSSS”

“I love the vibes!” Mina shouts.

“Yaaassss Sho!”

“Do it again Todoroki! Rap again!”

The party gets 3x more lit

Rap battles

Dance battles

And twerk offs

Y’all all break curfew

But it was hella worth it

[purpleyellow]

Mae’s relationship with The boyz

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

a/n: happy new year everyone!! Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

Sangyeon 

They are a comforting presence for each other. Mae would trust her entire life to Sangyeon as he is someone she’s sure will never outright judge her or demand something she is not comfortable with. On the other hand, I can see him not worrying too much about her but being careful when her mood seems off, and asking what it was afterward so he’s sure she’s fine again. 

The girl usually laughs at his impersonations or weird jokes, which instantly put her into his goody list, and Sangyeon is very thankful for having someone that will hear his random rants without getting caught up in it. More often than not, you can see him standing on the sidelines, cheering for her when he’s aware she’s doing something she’s not very confident in.

Jacob

Becoming trainees at the same time might have been the best thing for them, seeing as they often struggled with the same stuff, and pushed the other through their rough times. Mae sometimes wonders where she would be if it weren’t for Jacob and his insane amount of patience. Also, their personality is very comparable and they’re both soft-spoken most of the time, deobis aren’t even surprised whenever they find out something else they have in common.

They made a habit of going to karaoke rooms before debuting as a way to both practice singing and his Korean but to also rest and have fun. After Kevin joined the company he went along as well and after they became rookies all of the members would occasionally join in on the trio.

Younghoon

Soft, just soft. Both together and for each other. When she’s around Younghoon, Mae actually becomes more clingy and he’s the only one she goes out of her way to show skinship with (back hugs are her favorite). He also gets easily entertained by her antics and likes to joke that he’s her bodyguard.

Vlive moments that usually lead to him making an unintentional innuendo and she gets embarrassed and leaves the room so she doesn’t have to explain what just happened. On that note, Mae doesn’t like helping with English that much because it usually leads the members to getting entertained by her accent, but she makes an exception to Younghoon

Hyunjae

His number one hobby is to make her embarrassed, and considering they, as well as Haknyeon, have been roommates for the longest time Hyunjae has a lot of material to share. He clings to her at every opportunity and is constantly nagging about the amount of clothes Mae has as well as the closet space they take.

Surprisingly or not, he often helps her with choreography and is overall a good listener. She’s also not that bothered by his antics and has grown comfortable enough to tell him to knock it off once she gets over them. Fans didn’t know they were as close until she answered “Hyunjae” when asked which of them she’d want as an actual brother. 

Juyeon

The “looks tough but is actually soft” duo. Over the years, he became her number one dance instructor seeing as he’s mostly calm and doesn’t really mind pulling extra hours to help her. We know how Juyeon usually babies Eric, and many fans think he’s like that to Mae as well, but on the contrary, he also prefers to be wary instead of butt in on her business. 

Having that said, when the girl shows even 1% discomfort or annoyance in general he’s the first one to step in and help her out. Mae usually feels weird that he acts like that but it usually comes in handy when the group is having a discussion and she needs someone to back her up and be on her side.

Kevin

Kevin has taken pride in being the main reason for her meme awakening. Before he arrived, Mae and Jacob were as close as friends could get, but as Kevin and the boy hit it off, Mae expected to be thrown into the sidelines. She couldn’t be more wrong, considering that he also made a lot of effort into keeping her close, thus beginning the “Kevin getting frustrated at Mae not getting his references” saga.

Lowkey, they just want to chill and listen to questionable music together. Highkey, he wants to get her to twerk with him (he’ll kiss the ground the day she does). Again, Mae is a good listener and often joins in on his random thoughts or simply goes along with whatever he’s doing.

New 

Random high note battles and both of them silently judging the others. Chanhee and Mae often fall into a cycle of complaining around but instead of tackling the matter with him she often does nothing, which makes him complain ten times harder. Objectively speaking, he’s the member who helps her the most with organizing her stuff and adulting in general.

The girl randomly drags him with her to the mall to people-watch or makes him do vlives with her just for the sake of it. For some reason, it took them a little while to find common ground but once they did, New became one of her go tos when it came to sharing struggles. On a random note, Mae thought his math tricks were an absolute scam and believed none of it until they were actually tested.  

Q 

Playfully bickering 24/7. They have many fake arguments, usually around her struggles with some choreographies and his lack of patience when it comes to teaching her. Two months after their debut he decided to let that job fall onto Juyeon and his life became a lot more fun. Around the release of Right Here he went back to randomly giving her tips but please don't leave them alone in a practice room.

When it comes to interests Changmin didn’t think they’d have many in common but after many movie nights, he was quick to find out Mae doesn’t really mind horror and thriller which made her perfect to watch them with him. She does, however, have a problem with the creepy-ass dolls and masks he buys and has sworn someday she will make a bonfire out of them.

Haknyeon 

99 babies and eternal roommates. They’re an interesting pair considering Juhaknyeon is more laid back and outgoing and Mae is - according to him -  more high maintenance. They did find common ground around the fact that they’re both foodies and 99s vlive mukbangs are a very constant thing.

Also, kind of random but he’s one of the members she would stand by without a second thought. Hak just tries his best to make any situation lively and the girl appreciates it a lot, especially when she’s having a tough time herself, so as gratitude she’s ready to fight anyone for him. 

Sunwoo 

The other person she would stand by without a problem. It doesn’t really help that Sunwoo acts like an absolute child whenever Mae is near and constantly clings to her like she’ll solve every trouble in the world (flash news, she won’t). The girl finds it kind of comical how he’s always giving her puppy eyes and just pushes his head out of the way for him to snap out of it.

Back to Younghoon when I said someone gets entertained by her accent, that is Sunwoo. He’s constantly repeating the way she says some words or asking her to help him say something, which he knows she doesn’t quite like but does it anyway. Also, not her go-to pastime, but random rap battles are always fun when they happen and they usually end up with one of them on the ground laughing. 

Eric

Aka the non-Canadian half of the English line. Also mildly entertained by her Aussie accent but doesn’t show it as often as Sunwoo. When they first met, Eric instantly decided they were going to be friends but once she figured it out it was too late and she couldn’t back down anymore (that’s what she says at least, deep down we know she enjoyed his company just as much).

Mae is the introverted friend to his outgoing self, she usually has to tell Eric to calm down because she grew tired of following him around or got very embarrassed by him randomly approaching a senior. Also worth mentioning he’s her number one hype person and has multiple times made her embarrassed by complimenting her in front of deobis or just random people. 

Former member: Hwall/Hyunjun

Fashion buddies. Mae has a habit of randomly dragging him to go shopping and they’ve got to the point of adding items into each other’s carts when they think the other might like it. They have a fun time just walking around and chatting as well, before debuting they’d often share what’s bothering them before getting ice cream to cheer up.

Due to different scheduling, it became harder to keep meeting up but Mae often does her best to sneak around into whatever he’s doing. Also, late-night phonecalls became more regular which led the members into believing she had a boyfriend before finding out it was just Mae catching up with him.

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hello!!! How do you think hawks would be at the club w/his black gf?? Do you think he’s more of a walk flower or like literally on the tables dancing?

A/N: This was so fun to do hehe

Warnings: implied sexual activity, 21+ age, consumption of alcohol

Takami Keigo (Hawks):

it really depends

hawks is a man of many faces

we literally have no idea what his true personality is like

tbh, if you two went to a regular club, he’d probably be chillin by the bar

he’s famous so he wouldn’t wanna draw too much attention

you have to go with your friends bc he’s a wallflower

he’d be satisfied just watching you dance

the type to lick his lips as you twirl your hips in that tight little outfit

isn't even jealous when people hit on you, he just walks up to you and makes out w you for like five seconds just to see them get pissed off

what a bird

but let it be some private club for heroes???

where there’s no chance of paparazzi and his PR team won’t beat his ass????

hawks is shit-faced and throws it back on top of the tables

no, i don’t take criticism

does not give a flying fuck about anything but going crazy

he’ll take body shots off of you

you take body shots off of him (if you drink alcohol!)

he can’t dance, but he can throw that ass

you have a twerking contest

it’s a tie but he swears he won

you have singing and rap battles

the DJs are forced to cut the mics bc y’all sound terrible

you both can catch each other’s ass like no one’s business

if things start getting hot and heavy, miruko or endeavor pay for your uber home bc no one wants to see y’all do the nasty

[thatesqcrush]

Change of Plans, Pt. 1

Rafael Barba x Reader. F/u piece to “Best Laid Plans.” For Kink Bingo: blow job, which finishes another row. CW: p in v sex, male & female receiving oral sex, language. NSFW.

WC: 2328

--

You placed your phone down on the table and took another long drag of your fruity cocktail. You grimaced as the cheap alcohol and saccharin sweet drink burned down your throat. The music at the club was playing at deafening levels and you could feel the bass reverberate in your bones. The bride-to-be, a longtime college friend let out a drunken “woo-hoo” as she spun herself on a pole. The other bridesmaids and entourage you were with, cheered her. It wasn’t that you weren’t enjoying yourself – okay, so you weren’t – but the bride-to-be was a long time friend and it was open bar, thanks to the brother of the maid of honor, who owned the joint.

The bridesmaids began to chant the bride-to-be’s name and you looked up to see that she was twerking against the pole. You hid your smile behind the palm of your hand.

Your phone buzzed and you picked it up to see who it was. To your surprise, it was Rafael.

[Rafael, 9:30 PM] I am in town for the weekend. Are you around?

[Y/N, 9:30 PM] I am but am unavailable. Bachelorette weekend. Where’s Bryan? Raincheck?

[Rafael, 9:31 PM] Too bad. Bryan’s working late on a motion.

You sighed putting your phone down. All of a sudden, the bride-to-be, Lauren, rushed you.

“Y/N! Come on and dance with me! I am getting married in a week!” She shrieked, cupping your face. You gently grabbed her by the wrists and moved her arms down.

“I know – maybe we should get you some water.” You shouted over the music.

“I’m fine! I don’t need any water – why are you such a wet bla—” Lauren’s declaration was interrupted by her puking – all over your shoes.

You grimaced and swore, trying to not dry heave yourself. Two of the bridesmaids pulled Lauren away from you and the bartender rushed over some towels. You muttered a thanks and before you began to clean up, you picked up your phone again.

[Y/N, 9:35 PM] Actually, change of plans…

--

Lauren was in a cab with the rest bridal brigade and you hit the top of the roof, signaling the driver to leave. Lauren waved a mournful goodbye before she puked into her purse and you sighed, waiting for the Uber Rafael ordered for you to arrive.

Twenty minutes later, you were back at the front of The Talbott Hotel. Your cheek burned as you recalled what happened the last time you were there and of the night to come – it wasn’t like you and Rafael were angels by any means. The doorman gave you a smile and then crinkled his nose.

“Bachelorette party – bride was three sheets to the wind.” You explained through clenched teeth.

The doorman gave you a wary smile and you hurried in, mortified. You knew what room Rafael was staying in and the concierge called him to announce your arrival. As the elevator traveled to the penthouse, you could feel your heart in your throat, your pulse quickening.

The door of the elevator opened right into the suite and Rafael smiled brightly at seeing you.

“Princesa.” He greeted as he approached with two lowball glasses, one in each hand. His nose crinkled as he approached. “¡Oye! ¿Qué le pasó?”

“The bride threw up on my shoes. I thought I did a better job at cleaning up. I guess I did not.” You replied embarrassed. 

Rafael shook his head. “Uh – why don’t you leave those outside and we can send for them to be cleaned. Better yet, I’ll be happy to buy you a new pair.”

You nodded and removed your shoes. You made way to the closet and found a laundry bag to stick the shoes in. Rafael handed you a drink and as he bent down to kiss you, he grimaced once more. You let out a sigh.

“I smell like puke, don’t I?”

Rafael nodded and pointed towards the bathroom. “I’ll go shower.” You muttered. You grabbed your purse and put your phone to charge before going to the bathroom. You took in your appearance in the mirror and you realized a bath was in order. You ran your hand over the Egyptian cotton towels and then to the basket of toiletries where you found a bath bomb labeled “goddess.” Given the night’s events, you decided to partake in a long and luxurious bath. You closed your eyes, enjoying the scent of jasmine and rose envelope you. You found undereye patches and placed them on. The aches of the earlier day melted away. There was a rap on the door and you called out that it was open. Rafael popped his head in.

“Everything okay in here?”

“Perfect.” You replied. “This… is something else. My night has vastly improved.”

Rafael came in and sat on the lip of the bathtub besides you. He was clad in just a simple white t-shirt and navy and grey striped bottoms. Rafael leaned down to kiss you and you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him to you as you leaned up. His palm dipped down, finding the swell of a breast. Your nipples were taut due to the chill of the air and arousal which had been stoked. Rafael’s fingers caressed the curve of your breast before making way to your nipple, twisting gently. You let out a soft sigh against his mouth, which only served to encourage his ministrations. The water sloshed gently as Rafael pulled you into a standing position, kissing you with more intensity.

“Your clothes.” You protested as he pulled you more tightly to him.

“I wasn’t planning on wearing them for much longer anyway.” Rafael husked, before dipping his mouth to capture a globe in his mouth. You let out a moan, tilting your head back slightly. Rafael repeated the action to your other breast, his warm tongue contrasting the cool air of the bathroom. You shivered and Rafael stood back up, kissing you gently. You looked at him with heavy lidded eyes. “Why did you stop?” You protested.

“To get you out of the tub before you slip and crack your head open.” Rafael explained, extending his hand to help you out. You got out, bead of water dripping down the lower half of your body and Rafael watched as they traveled down. He handed you an oversized towel and you dried off, as he drained the tub. You wrapped the towel around you and made way back to the bedroom.

You jumped onto the oversized bed, nearly sinking into the fluffy comforter. You pushed back the sheets and settled under. Rafael joined you, yanking off his t-shirt and pants, letting them fall into a wet heap. The kiss grew with intensity and Rafael undid your towel, exposing you. You arched into his body as he kissed you again. His hand  traveled southward towards your bottom-half, seeking out your cunt. You parted your legs and your body melted even more as Rafael began to stroke your most intimate spot. Your lips entwined with his, a battle of tongues seeking entry to explore each other’s mouths. You were soaking already and your body became electrified under his gentle touch. The tips of his fingers gathered your arousal before settling on your clit, stroking and encircling with more gusto. “Oh god, Rafael.”

Rafael stroked the outer lips of your pussy before sliding a finger inside. “So tight and wet for me.” Rafael murmured, as he stroked you from the inside out. Encouraged by how your breath hitched and how you pressed against his hand, Rafael inserted another finger and then, another. He alternated between fucking you with his fingers and rubbing your clit with his thumb. You grasped the sheet, desperately.  Rafael’s cock kicked at how you responded to him and he rutted against the bed, desperate for relief. Your skin was hot with need and your eyes were shut, as you lost yourself to the sensations Rafael dragged out of you. Rafael leaned over and sucked on the pulse point of your neck as the walls of your pussy fluttered against his fingers. A mixed chant of his name and “oh” emanated from your lips, which spurred him further, as he quickened the pace of which he was finger fucking you. He ducked his head to your chest and drew a nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. As his teeth grazed your sensitive flesh, your body stiffened as you clenched around his fingers. He took your nipple into  his mouth again and suckled once more. His fingers pumped through your orgasm, your thighs trembling. Your release coated his fingers and Rafael withdrew them, before sucking them clean. “Mmmmm… tan dulce.” He purred before capturing your lips once more.

“I want to return the favor.” You replied in between kisses as you pressed him to the bed. You hungrily eyed his cock, scooting down and then laying flat on your belly. You gripped his cock and pointed his cock towards your mouth. You flicked your tongue against his slit, causing Rafael to hiss. He wrapped both of his hands into your hair, encouraging you to take more of his length. You gagged and sputtered until he hit the back of your throat, your nose brushed against the curl of his pubic hair. Rafael’s cock felt heavy in your mouth and the taste of his pre-cum flooded your mouth. He held you there, relishing in the feel of your warm mouth around his cock.

You used your hand to help jack him as you eased off his cock and then swallowed his length once more. You bobbed on his cock, hollowing your cheeks as you did so. Rafael threw his head back before perching on his elbows, watching you as you engulfed him in the wet heat of your mouth. Rafael drew his legs up, so his heels rested on the backs of his thighs. You took your free hand and drew your nails gently along the skin on the tops of his thighs, feeling his muscles twitch beneath you.

“You’re such a good cocksucker.” Rafael praised and you squealed in response, though the sound was muffled because your mouth was full. You pulled away, to give your jaw a break; a strand of saliva connected you to him. Your lips were darkened and slick with saliva. You continued to use your hand to help you before swirling your tongue around the head of his cock before taking his length into your mouth. The sounds of your mouth slobbering all over his cock drove Rafael crazy and he bucked into your mouth.

You didn’t ease up. You reached up and gently cradled his balls, massaging them softly. Rafael continued to sing your praises as you worked him. You dipped your head down and sucked gently on his balls, as your other hand jerked him.

Rafael was close – so close. He could feel his balls tightening. “I am going to cum,” he warned. But as much as he wanted to let loose in your mouth, he wanted to fuck you. He wanted to fuck you so badly. You hummed, sending vibrations up and through Rafael’s body. Rafael gripped your hair and pulled you off, the pain of his rough action turning you on further.

“How do you want me?” You asked.

“En tu espalda.” Rafael growled. You gave him a puzzled look and his gaze softened. “On your back.” 

You nodded and did as he requested. You laid back on the pillow and spread your legs. Rafael settled between your legs. He dragged the head of his cock up and down your slick heat, gathering your essence, then pushed the crown into you. You let out a gasp at the wanted intrusion. Rafael then pushed into you inch by inch, in near agonizingly slow torture, until he was fully seated in your tight sheath. You drew your legs up by his hips, hooking your ankles together and gripped his biceps.

“Oh, oh god.” You moaned as his cock hit your cervix. He began to pick up the pace of this thrusts and he watched as your tits bounced underneath him. He dipped his head to capture one in his mouth. You cried out some more as you undulated your hips against his.

“You feel so good.” Rafael groaned, his voice thick with lust. Your bodies were becoming slick with sweat. Rafael rose so that he was seated back on his haunches, briefly slipping out. He grabbed you by the waist and lifted you so were on his lap. He supported you by grabbing onto your thighs while you wrapped your legs around his back. Rafael held you tight by your ass, your hands were on his neck. Your eyes met his – it was oddly intimate for a hookup.

“I’m going to cum.” Rafael growled.

“Give it to me.” You whimpered.

Rafael lowered you so you were back on your back. Your hand flew to your clit and you rubbed yourself furiously. You were already at the precipice, so it did not take much for you to come, wailing his name. Rafael felt his own release kick, and he slipped out of you, coming in spurts all over your stomach and labia. He shuddered as he finished, stroking til empty. You chest rose and fell heavily as you tried to catch your breath. You moved to grab the towel that was on the side of the bed, when Rafael moved to stop you. “Just wait.” He also panted. Rafael reached over you, to where his cell phone was. He unlocked his phone and snapped a photo of you lying on the bed, painted in his cum.

--

Bryan was in the middle of arguing with opposing counsel on the phone when his phone buzzed. He opened his messages and made a strangled sound as he saw the image of you from Rafael. He quickly responded.

[Bryan 11:05 PM] Be there in 15; I request a repeat performance from the two of you.

TBC.

--Tags--

@madpanda75 @tropes-and-tales @delia26 @mgarner1227 @beardedmccoy @youreverycolor @neely1177 @the-baby-bookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @annabelleb49 @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoolike @thefanficfaerie @theenchantedgalleryofstories @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @ktiz90 @evee87 @itsjustmyfantasyroom @blk0912 @detective-giggles @rampantmuses @jazzyjoi @caked-crusader @rachelxwayne @prurientpuddlejumper

[undercooked-ravioloni]

Ooh, may I request the proxies walking in on S/O and another pasta having a rap battle in the living room (and S/O is totally killing it)? Bonus points if they're rapping to Epic Rap Battles of History. Thank you~!

i listened to erb for the first time and honestly, this request was lots of fun, even though i might have gotten a bit sidetracked

pure crackhead energy - i sincerely hope you enjoy it

+ ticci toby 

+ if he ever did walk in on his s/o having a rap battle with someone, he’d be a bit upset that they went ahead and did it without him

+ but that all melts away when the theatrics start

+ haha thats funny because that would never happen

+ BEN and toby are most likely to organize these re-enactments so it’s bold of you to assume toby wouldn’t already be there to do one with you

+ that’s how you find yourself in a surprisingly elaborate costume, next to toby, in a similar attire, who is fixing on a blond wig 

+ across from you stand clockwork, as clyde, and a jane who ended up in the role of bonnie against her own will - nat’s tipping her hat, grinning, while jane twirls a toy pistol in her hands

+ you fix the small tiara on his head and that’s when the shows start

+ BEN drops the beat and clockwork steps in front of her jane

+ “i’ll handle this darlin’, i’m known to fire off some bars”

+ the two gals are surprisingly good and their accents are on point

+ but you and toby have been practicing too

+ you have to bite back a laugh as you face him and start your verse “my love, your face is beauty to behold, i will protect thine honour”

+ all the sass the brunet has comes out as he raps to juliet’s lines

+ jane and clockwork watch you prancing around behind him, trying to keep their shocked expressions from crumbling into a fit of laughter

+ nat then points a finger at him

+ “hey partner, you better put a muzzle on your missus” she growls playfully as you hold your juliet close protectively

+ jane pulls out the toy pistol and pretends to shoot at toby

+ you never knew his voice could go so high

+ “then i shall kill myself, on my stomach i shall lie,” you weep as you dramatically pull out a waterbottle and gobble it down

+ “oops nevermind! my flesh was merely grazed!” your boyfriend happily announces. “where’s romeo? oh nOMEO there’s poison on your face!”

+ he takes a knife, sticks it under his armpits so to make it seem as if it was planted in his heart and collapses onto the floor again

+ the show is unable to go on as “clyde” bursts into loud laughter at toby’s fake-spasming on the floor

[romeo and juliet vs bonnie and clyde]

+ hoodie

+ the beat was what caught his attention

+ he walks into the living room just as you “step right in”, dressed in a black turtleneck and jeans

+ then he watches as toby borderline twerks behind you as you diss jeff who is supposedly bill gates [with a shabby wig]

+ he lost a bet okay ?

+ cue money being rained on everyone by toby while jeff tries to rap the aids donation part

+ then you get slapped with an iphone

+ but that doesn’t throw you off your game, not even slightly

+ hoodie has no idea what’s happening but he goes along with it

+ under his mask, he’s smirking, amused

+ he thinks the peak of crackhead energy is when you’re picked up by toby and carried away, acting out your ascent to heaven

+ he is wrong

+ jeff really gets into the next bit, spitting out the verse with incredible aggressiveness

+ “fine, you wanna be like that? dIE THEN”

+ just as hoodie expects the little show to end

+ the lights dim

+ BEN floats over to the center, his arms full stretched out

+ his voice is distorted as he looks at jeff, eyes glowing red, a condescending smirk on his face

+ “i’m sorry bill, i’m afraid i can’t let you do that”

[steve jobs vs bill gates]

+ masky

+ masky immediately backs out of the room and closes the door

+ but then toby comes through the door, pushing him in

+ so your boyfriend just crosses his arms and watches as you put on an itchy-looking beard and as BEN steps out dressed like that kid from pokemon

+ the blond boy starts, throwing a pokeball at your feet

+ masky: ???

+ he is about to leave again when you jump in

+ “you’re so ineffective, you couldn’t even turn 11″ you retort in a gruff voice

+ masky chokes back on a laugh as the elf looks at you, overdramatically shocked

+ BEN’s comeback has more intensity in it as he floats up, circling around you

+ you look unfazed and your boyfriend has to admit, he’s getting quite the kick out of this

+ he thinks the lines are so clever

+ “i am dar-winning”, “TB and scarlet fever, gotta catch em all!”, “it was hard losing my daughters and their brother, as hard as the wood that oak gave your mother”

+ he’s doubled over, shoulders shaking as he holds onto a chair to keep his balance

+ you see him wipe away a tear as you finished

+ he’ll never let you live it down though. except teasing for years to come

[ash ketchum vs charles darwin]

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Italy brings the rock’n’roll youth of tomorrow to Rotterdam 2021

It’s the final day of doing my yet again botched attempt at a review series and I’ve been dying to post my gigantic write-up for my newly beloved Italy, at the top of the bookies, darling of all hearts, ready to rock Eurovision, and even more! Vai vai~

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Representing them this year is Måneskin, a band made up of four - singer and possibly the hottest motherfucker to grace the planet Earth Damiano, guitarist Thomas, drummer Ethan, and the cherry on top - bassist Victoria, whose half-Danish heritage is the reason Måneskin is called Måneskin (= Moonshine). They thought of this name at a “battle of the bands” that they won, thinking they might as well change it to something different, but in the end... say it with me now

They have known each other since highschool, made a band in 2016, won the “battle of the bands”, started out making a living as buskers in the streets of Rome, from which they gradually grew through playing small gigs, and later tried out for X Factor Italia season 11, on which they came 2nd.

They went on to release an EP titled after their debut single of the name of the song above, including some of their X Factor covers, and later on got to get big through releasing an album, getting it certified all kinds of goodnesses, having singles from that album be popular, even releasing a documentary of themselves... they’ve done so much in life and they’re only 20-22 years old... aw man, the life is just ahead of them, for them to be so young and win Sanremo on their first try. (And I’ve always wanted them for Eurovision ever since I was aware of their existence, because their music is very nice, and they just feel like charming human beings. So imagine my joy seeing them announced for Sanremo 2021? And them WINNING months later??? man what kind of luck do I have even if just for a year lmao <333)

“Zitti e buoni”, the last song title alphabetically this year, is purely of the band’s making, and the lyrics are talking about not abiding the rules in general, how they’re out of their minds but they’re not like “them”, and how people talk but don’t know what they’re talking at all.

REVIEW

IT’S A PRETTY CRAZY GOOD ROCK SONG AMEN HALLELUJAH OPRAH WOOOOOOO

wbk I love it. Yeah sure it might be composited of something that sounds like standard rock riffs and what not, but it’s the ENERGY that goes into it that gets me more excited for this than for Finland, a fellow rock song of this year’s final.

Damiano’s vocals have the specific kind of rockstar tinge to them, and they’re very complimenting to the song. The way he says everything is beautiful, the “e buonasera signore e signori” line in particular is just a moment that shows the beginning of power somehow, I don’t know. The chorus is great, eventhough it’s just one line repeated but it changes the pronoun each time (going from “I’m out of my mind” to “you’re out of your mind” to “we’re out of my mind”) - MAGICAL.

And the bridge. YES, the bridge. Along with the outro it’s the best part of the song. The chord progression. The lines repeated on that bridge. The emotions going on. The delivery of the lines of the emotion. It’s a convincing little bridge, to the point that it sounds just as great with violins! Wish they brought one, because according to Love Love Peace Peace, nothing screams winner quite like a violin.

God damn to the Måneskinsters pump this song up to the maximum. It was originally a ballad song, and I think that’s for the better for them to present it as a rock song, because a Sanremo ballad in a pool of Sanremo ballads... unless it stands out according to demoscopic & press juries, and there seems to be a no better option at hand that could make them stand out other than just sending a classy ballad, it just fizzles out in a spectacularly lame fashion. Måneskin’s one real shot through was with a song that would make them stand out, and they did it, and they’re here.

Everyone has put in their work, their passion, their skills into this, and it shows off in spades. Måneskin themselves are fantastic and chill human beings, who too, just like Flo Rida, get to enjoy how crazy amazing Eurovision experience is. And for that I salute them with my whole heart. Whatever they do tonight on Eurovision, they’ll leave a lasting mark in it. And for a good reason.

Also an Italian Eurovision edit that doesn’t suck, once again, yay! (In their defense, they didn’t have a whole lot to work with, so they released theirs early - just a few trimmings here and there, and a lyric change so that they skate by EBU easier with their anti-swearing policies. Gahddamn swearing~)

Approval factor: FUCK YES Follow-up factor: The funny thing about this is that last year their entry is about making noise but the song was a love ballad, this year it’s a song titled “shut up and behave” while dressed in a loudest motherfucking musical setting lol. Fuck the rules! It was solely on the Sanremo’s last year’s winner Diodato not to send an entry he thought that would fit for Sanremo, and that’s good on him - he can return next year replenished as all hell, and maybe aim for the trophy again? wishful thinking? aaaa. Anyway on a personal scale “Zitti e buoni” is a marvelous follow-up from “Fai rumore”, even if skipping 2020 entirely, especially after “Soldi”, which was already a fab follow-up after “Non mi avete fatto niente”, and even from “Occidentali’s Karma” on. And so it is subjectively a good follow-up. Italy SLAYS. AQ factor: As I write this, the odds are very much in their favour, if not a little bit too persuaded over the fact that Måneskin gave a good rock performance and knew what they would be doing, or it’s just that the Italians like overbetting for their acts way too damn much. But nevertheless, I just wanna hope for them to break the expectations people set on rock songs in Eurovision and SMASH themselves a victory. Or a top 2. Or a top 5-10. Anything will do, goddamn.

NF CORNER

Well, I promised that I will talk about Sanremo in a NF corner, because this is the first year I actually cared to watch it myself, unlike when I would’ve sided with someone whose reviewing style I love in not caring to watch it, and usually just check all the songs on the last day lol.

One thing about Sanremo that I sorely underestimate is that a handful of artists on there can come across as very versatile, and the one song you loved of one genre they presented several years ago, can be completely different and leave you baffled for days if you’re not very familiarized with their discography and the Italian music scene in general. Which now I’m going to pay an extreme amount of attention towards following Sanremo 2022 on out because hot damn did I never see gems like Willie Peyote coming!

Did I call him a gem over his entry? Yes, somehow. Am I even sure if I’m being serious?

I think I can somewhat agree when I say that for the international fam watching Sanremo at least, “Mai dire mai (La locura)” was a major expectation destroyer, at least for the crowd whose main lookouts in a lineup like this years were Ermal Meta, Annalisa, Arisa, etc. You know they’re gonna bring a ballad, and their ballads are usually decent, but what about the unexpected? That’s where a handful of acts, including Willie, comes in for me. The bass hooks in the second the song starts. The beat is minimalistic but strong enough to slap. The steady rap flow is mesmerizing, paired with that somewhat specifically Italian(?) vocal timbre. The chorus is greatly catchy, and it is a sung chorus, with this song still being largely a rap song. The electric-esque guitar soundwaves interspersed throughout the song are magnificent and magical, and on the chorus they even make a constant melody riff that repeats and may get annoying on multiple listens, but I still adore them. I really love the bridge as well and all that goes into it. A fantastic surprise of the season for me personally.

Now I figure that the lyrics may hinder the enjoyment for some, especially the points raised in some lines that may seem questionable and shady (if this went to Eurovision and got a “twerking” comment on Youtube, I will not be surprised if the description of choice is “patriarchic twerking”), but am I supposed to be fully offended at some points of it if I’m not its target audience, although I see some of what I do nowadays in those lines? “Mai dire mai” is probably dedicated to the Italian media and the Italian trends and what not. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t win, because if it went to Eurovision, it would’ve likely been met like a lesser “Occidentali’s Karma” - catchy song with lyrics that fly over listener’s heads which might as well be very accidentally mocking how we live our lives.

“Mai dire mai” has just less of a memorability-in-history value and no memorable gimmicks (Francesco had a gorilla, what is it visually going for on Willie’s performance?), besides, it would’ve suffered even WORSE post-Eurovision-edit than OK has - a lot of the bits and bobs that pass me by but when I notice them they make a really great entry, but other than the (presumably copyrighted) removal of a sample from a TV series (spoken by a fish character, nonetheless), what else is there to remove???? With Eurovision’s rules specifying that brands (Spotify, TikTok) and swearwords (lots of the good old Italian ones that Italian radios would digitally scratch out to emphasize that there were a LOT in the second verse) can’t be sung live, the song loses some of its lyrical charm. And you can’t just go around the song like Francesco Gabbani chopping off entire verses full of content full of witty lyrics and a reference to Chanel in order to present the more lyrically singable-along-to lines and not let go of the long chorus to whom his gorilla can dance to. “Mai dire mai” is RIFE with lyrics, that’s what a rap song is. It would have absolutely fallen apart.

Also no one paged it as a potential Eurovision winner during Sanremo, at least seriously, and it doesn’t have much that would have clicked with the future Eurovision generation and contestants when they would be asked to name their favourite Eurovision song of all times. In a world where from Italy they really like “Grande amore” and “Soldi” and even sometimes could name “Occidentali’s Karma”, is there really a place for “Mai dire mai (La locura)” over “Zitti e buoni”? Who would be naming that song as their favourite of all time? If you raised a hand, you lie to yourself, because that would’ve been me.

Now I don’t know how many of the Tumblr fam would draw ire at me putting out paragraphs worth of me being ultra positive towards this song, because as I’ve learned, there’s an ironic and unironic audience for Mr. Peyote on Tumblr especially, but for me I guess it was pretty worthy, also a thing I was finally able to yell off my chest since, and now I finally said it, I will continue streaming “Mai dire mai (La locura)” in peace.

He might’ve not won Sanremo, but his song won the equally important Mia Martini Critics Award, and also, my heart. Rest in broken shards of the Boris aquarium, my sweet cynical prince~

Måneskin were my 2nd after him so I’m equally happy they won. But what about my other favourites?

• Extraliscio ft. Davide Toffolo - Bianca luce nera A diluted version of the liscio genre, still makes for a very fascinatingly catchy and swaying song with lots of great instruments that are violins and a clarinet. What I figure is kinda a love song. Their performances were also great, with lots of dancers on stage and a genuinely great fun to be had, and you may remember them more after their performance in cover night, which was titled “Rosamunda”. They were the ones with their main singer’s guitar spinning for whatever reason that was there to make their song catchy, I guess.

• Lo Stato Sociale - Combat Pop A little bit of a far cry from their glory heydays with 2nd place in Sanremo 2018, but they returned with an equally banging song and an amazing set of performance chaos they brought in each and every time - dedicating their first night’s one to making a performance to not forget (and being the ones of two to reference the great Bugo&Morgan incident from last year, the other being Willie Peyote), the second competitive one was for referencing politics, and so on.

• Colapesce & Dimartino - Musica leggerissima Sweet melancholic song with the shades of Sebastien Tellier kinda sound, this song may seem jolly at first, but the especially melancholic undertones denote that there’s something else going on. It’s actually about depression, as that’s what the term “musica leggerissima” (very light music) means. But it still found a heart in Italian listeners and the Italian world finally woke up to how great Antonio Di Martino and Lorenzo “Colapesce” Urciullo are, and a handful of viewers were slightly heartbroken to see it not place in the superfinal top 3. Who knows if they would’ve actually won over Måneskin. I just know that their rollerskater girlie is so damn fine~

Bugo has also returned but I think his redemption arc started off the wrong foot, as his return entry, “E invece si”, was a bloated showtune ballad and got obnoxious to listen to at part. I declared to myself that night when I first heard the new entry that regarding on what made “Sincero” great, I side with Morgan.

And a special shout out to Ghemon, whose 2019 song was more than just a “purple rose” unlike I noted on a last proper Italian entry review. I don’t know what expectations I had for him, but I certainly wanted to love “Momento perfetto” more at the first listen, which was also somewhat of a show-tuney piece, but with a bit more funk and pizzazz, also Ghemon was VERY much vibing with his song, and that made me feel great for the few other performances of it that I saw the following days. It’s definitely a grower song, and around 2 months after Sanremo I fell into a bit of a rabbit-hole of his earlier music discovering, and I may be a bit exaggerating but, give Ghemon a bit more of acknowledgement and a stellar enough song, and with a little bit of magic touch, I can maybe see him lifting the Golden Lion trophy one day. Don’t ask why. (also lovely music video for his 2021 entry, which replaces continuous spinning in an aesthetic area to everybody moving their body in a diner (hopefully with everyone in the MV tested and been negative for long enough for the MV to actually happen).)

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

There’s so much needed to be discussed about there. So I’ll restrict myself to the moments that I remember and cherish:

• Rosario Fiorello. Just. Him.

• And the gentleman next to him, Achille Lauro.

tw // body piercing

Belarus 2018 could never

Fiorello and Lauro are perfect matches to each other’s worlds of imagination, and I was more than ever glad to see so much creativity coming from each one of them, a host and a nightly interval act respectively.

• Once again, “Rosamunda Medley” by Extraliscio, I didn’t watch the cover night in its entirety but I think it’s good enough of a medley if it got a 3rd place from the cover night from the orchestra!

• Sanremo Newcomers section of this year. I liked or vibed to almost every song out of the 8, and I’m decently happy with the winner, but if there’s one big shoutout I really want to make, is to “Regina” by Davide Shorty, for it’s such a cozy funky little love song that always makes me happy when I hear it. My personal winner preference, but I don’t mind Davide getting 2nd! For as long as he gets to place 1st in a future main Sanremo event hihihihihi

• Diodato proving himself to be a dance king at the beginning of his “Che vita meravigliosa” performance, my good Twitter friend made a bunch of videos where he dances to a lot of songs, as per request, check them out and you won’t forget it.

• Since Sanremo 2021 got rid of the audience as per COVID regulations and much to Amadeus’s dread, there ended up quite a handful of audience related memes. Such as the penis balloon et al.

• Remember when Sanremo 2021 audience was supposed to be whisked away in a cruise ship for safety measures? Pepperidge Farm remembers

• SESSO IBUPROFENEEEEEEEE

The guy that sang this song actually has the same birthday as me, so in my eyes, I feel like he has some charm to it. I’m biased lol sorry

There’s way too many more but I am afraid of flooding my post beyond your readability interest. Let’s hope that, in an event of Italy’s victory or non, we’ll get to see an even more iconic event of Sanremo emerge come the future. <3

ANY LAST WORDS?

Måneskin’s big goal was to rock Eurovision, and I think they’ve greatly accomplished that by just... doing what they do best, and that is, rocking. They leave energy lasting for days.

In bocca al lupo, fam. You’ll nail it, and even if you don’t win, Italy shouldn’t not hail you as national heroes after it’s all over.

[ddaengyoonmin]

Can I have their reaction to you eating their food they had saved for themselves in the refrigerator?

Since i wanna make sure I get these done tonight, I’m gonna do some of these as just one of the lines of my choosing lol

So Imma go with hyung line for this one. And its pure crack. 😬 I’m sorry but also a little bit not cuz i laughed writing this.

——————————

Seokjin.

-Jin would be maaaaaad! Hella mad.

-Remember how Jin sounded going off on Namjoon for not appreciating his present enough.

-We’re talking mouth moving a million miles a minute.

-And then he’ll probably just like go buy some more food and tell you that you don’t get any so you gotta go through the whole process of stealing again smh

Yoongi.

-Yoongi would in turn eat all of your food. Always.

-Every time you’d have food. Yoongi would be there, ready to chomp.

-Think twice before ordering only one serving when you go out to eat. Cuz half that food is Yoongis now and forever.

Hoseok.

-Hoseok had been saving that food for after work. When he saw that you’d eaten it he’d challenge you to a dance off.

-If you win then you are forgiven but if he wins you have to buy him food for a month.

-Unfortunately your routine consisted of jumping up on the table and twerking.

-Hoseok wins by a landslide

Namjoon.

-Namjoon was furious. You ate an entire tub of ice cream that he’d never even opened!

-Similar to Hoseok, this needed to be settled with a dual.

-You and Namjoon perform one of the sickest rap battles the world has seen.

-You accidently do tooo well and get yourself signed as the 8th member of bts oops.

-Lit.

[goddessofthundathighs]

DISTRACTION

Just a little filth based off of this post because I feel like I’ve been neglecting my lovelies.

_____________________________________________

“Bro, what the fuck?” Erik yelled angrily into the headset. He’d just returned from a two-month long mission in Colombia and all he wanted to do was relax with a nice game of Battlefield 4. He checked the time on his kimoyo beads. He knew the Princess would be home soon so he removed the headset from one of his ears to listen out for her.

It had been four months since the couple had last had sex, given both of their busy schedules, and Hennessy was more than a little needy. When she came home from work, she noticed his boots and duffle bag laid next to the front door.

“The fuckum?” She paused looking around. “I know this nigga didn't...” she complained as she put away her things and made her way to the game room.

Her husband’s dark brown eyes squinted as he concentrated on the screen, his fingers tapping the controller vigorously. The voices of middle-aged men shouting in his ear made him grumble for what had seemed like the millionth time. Though she was grateful that he still kept in touch with his battles from his time in JSOC, she hated how they sometimes kept him away from her for trivial things. As he reached the end of a heated battle, he heard the light footsteps of his wife come to the door.

“Well hello to you too,” her tiny voice rang out over the loud explosions and gunshots on the TV. He could practically hear her folding her arms.

“Oh hey babe,” He called as he glanced over his shoulder briefly before returning his gaze back to the TV. Who knew that one simple phrase could make her blood boil the way it did.

“How long have you been back?”

“Couple hours,” he responded, clearly still distracted by the video game.

“And you didn’t think to —,” her voice trailed off as her anger rose. Typically he made sure to stop by her office when he returned from a mission, but today was different. Today he chose to engage in an online video game battle instead of making an effort to spend time with her.

“Sorry babe,” he grunted as he restarted the game.

“Nah, you good,” she replied as she headed for the stairs. Bratty Hennessy was in full effect and by the time she was done, Battlefield 4 would be the last thing on Erik’s mind.

—————————

Fifteen minutes passed before she reappeared in the doorway of the game room.

“How long are you gonna be down here?”

“I don’t know Princess, why wassup?” He asked as he finished one of the game’s missions.

“Oh I don’t know, I haven’t seen you in two months, haven’t touched you in four. Get where I’m going with this?”

“Yeah, I get it baby. Gimme like 10 minutes and I’m all yours, I promise.”

“10 MINUTES?! NIGGA?!” she screamed exasperatedly.

“Okay, okay, 6 minutes,” he responded as he went back to angrily tapping the buttons on the controller.

“Fine,” she pouted as she walked over to the stereo system.

The sounds of Booty by Blac Youngsta filled the game room as the Princess distracted herself. Erik’s head began to nod to the beat as she bounced around the room.

Girl, I wanna see you twerk

I'll throw a lil' money if you twerk

I don't really think you can twerk

(Toot toot) twerk

If you broke, go to work

Make that big booty twerk

Make that big booty twerk

(Toot toot)

Can I touch that booty?

That booty, that big old booty?

Shake that booty, can I lay on the booty?

Mike Tyson on the booty

Copyright that booty (toot toot)

“Babe, C'mon now.. Move…”

He was so focused on the game that he hadn’t noticed his curvaceous wife’s attire. She’d traded her tan flounce jumpsuit for a navy two-piece lingerie set with a matching see through robe. As the song continued on and her best friend’s verse came on, the tiny princess decided to kick it up a notch.

Yeah, smack it up, flip it, rub it down, BBD

Yeah, I know you heard the news about that BBC

Yeah, greatest in that box, RIP Ali

Mmm, she say she love my kids, taste my legacy

Ooh, she go stupid, I'm no Cupid, I don't cuff her, I can't lose it

What she say I'm sleepin' on her, I just said she just caught me snoozin'...

As Trey continued to rap, Hennessy purposely placed her body in Erik’s line of vision and began throwing her ass like she had entered a twerk contest.

“Hennessy I said —,” his sentence was cut off as his eyes lifted to fully take in her presence. “Gahdamn,” he groaned as he reached out to move the fabric of the robe, giving him an unobstructed view. He stared like a predator watching prey as her plump ass gyrated in his face. The groans of his battles brought him back from the trance she’d successfully put him in. Pausing the game and throwing his controller to the side, he watched her hips move with ease to the beat. Before he knew it, her ass was on his lap, grinding and popping to the music as the bass thumped throughout the room. Groaning lowly, he moved the mic from his headset down to his mouth and spoke to the men who had been complaining in his ear the entire duration of the song.

“Aye niggas, I'll be back. I don't know when though.” The men's voices were cut off as he turned the PlayStation off and tossed the headset on the table. He bit his bottom lip as his calloused hands began kneading the tender flesh of her ass before giving it two harsh smacks. She moaned softly, but continued her ministrations, turning to face him now.

“You just couldn’t wait, huh? Needy ass,” he teased as he pulled her down to straddle his lap. His lips curved into his signature smirk, revealing the gold fronts that she loved.

“Nah, you wanted to play the game, remember? Keep that same energy fam,” she said as she slowly tried to slide out of his lap. His arms locked around her like a constrictor, effectively stopping her escape.

“Nah, the only game I’m tryna play is how many times Daddy can make Hennessy cum,” he growled, lifting from the couch.

————————

Hennessy’s legs shook as he feasted from her, his tongue darting back and forth with impeccable speed. Her hands moved from the sheets of the bed to his unruly dreads, tugging on them as he sucked on her clit.

As his tongue lapped over one of her more sensitive areas, she yanked his hair and moaned. As if her body wasn’t already seconds from overstimulation, a growl erupted from the beast between her thighs.

“F-fuck don’t growl at me…” She whimpered as she stared down at him. As his lips turned into a sly smirk, he chuckled softly.

“Mmm. Why not Princess?”

“Y-You know why,” she whined as his long tongue wrapped around the sensitive bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs. He growled again, causing her to gush into his mouth as the vibration traveled up her body.

“Daddy I’m cumming,” she whined as she rocked her hips against his face. He stared up from his place between her legs, dark eyes fixed on hers as he continued to lick slow patterns on the swollen bulb.

“Let it go Princess,” he growled as he attached his lips to her clit and sucked. Her orgasm hit her hard and fast, but his tongue never stopped it’s quest. He continued feasting until orgasm number two had her clawing at his back. He licked his lips as he watched her body shake, determined to have her sated and asleep by the time he finished.

He climbed up her body slowly, kissing and biting at her skin along the way. A firm tug to his dreads had him eye to eye with the curvaceous cutie, her brown eyes piercing his.

“As much as I like the slow, sensual treatment, I’m way too horny for you to be taking your sweet grandpa time. It’s been four months, I need you to break me.”

“Say less ma,” he replied thrusting forward until he was completely buried inside of her. Her legs locked around his waist as he began delivering the powerful strokes that always left her sore and hoarse the next day.

“That’s right,” she moaned. “Act like it’s been four months since you’ve had this pussy, nigga.” He chuckled softly, leaning down to press open-mouth kisses along her cheek and jawline.

“Fuck I missed your fine ass. I missed the way your lips feel against mine, I missed the way your face scrunches up when I hit that spot, and I especially missed the way that pretty pussy clings to my dick like a life vest.” Her inner walls fluttered at his words. She had always loved how nasty he could be during sex. He sat up on his knees and pushed her legs up so that her knees were almost beside her ears.

“Grab them ankles,” he ordered as he lined himself up with her dripping core. She barely had time to comply before his hips snapped forward with electrifying force. This was one of her favorite positions because each stroke had him tapping her g-spot with deadly precision.

“Daddy,” she moaned out, feeling the familiar tingle in her lower belly.

“Wassup?” he smirked, gold fronts gleaming in the purple light of the bedroom. “You close, Mama?” She wanted to answer, but her words were caught in her throat as he continued to fuck into her. He thrust forward a few more times before pulling himself out and smacking it on her clit.

“Answer me, Monaé!” he growled, shoving himself back into her. She bit her lip and nodded, still unable to verbally express her pleasure.

“Cum for me, Princess. I feel the way she gripping me. Show Daddy he can still make that kitten purr.” At his command her released washed over her, coating both of their lower halves with her essence.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he released himself into her. He lazily kissed her lips, swallowing each moan that came in the aftershock of her orgasm. He pulled out slowly and headed for the bathroom as sleep threatened to overtake the tiny vixen.

—————

Once he cleaned both of them off, Erik pulled the Henny close so that her head was tucked under his chin. He kissed her forehead as he slowly began running his fingers through her curly hair.

“Sorry about your game,” she said, yawning into his neck.

“You’re fine Princess. You’ve always been my favorite distraction.”

———————————————

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[ververa]

“You are enough”

CHAPTER 8 (part 2)

Ellie felt weird. It’s not like she was ashamed of anything that was connected with sexuality. She had never had problems with talking about sex and other matters connected with it. But that? That was something she had never experienced. She hadn’t even think she would ever have. And there she was. Sitting in the night club, sipping another drink and looking everywhere, but the stage – where almost completely naked men were dancing.

Ronnie on the other hand, found the whole situation amusing. She remembered when she came there for the first time. Her visit was connected with work, as she had been asked to paint something extraordinary that would make the place even more special. The girl remembered that her reaction was very similar to Ellie’s, but at the end she enjoyed it. And so, she was hoping that her dearest girlfriend would do too. Especially that she wasn’t only going to watch, but also participate in the show.

“I need to go to the toilet” Ronnie excused herself

“I’ll go with you”

“No need, baby. Stay and enjoy the show” she smiled quickly pecking the other woman’s lips

The girl made sure Ellie wasn’t looking at her and quickly disappeared at the backstage

“Guys!” she addressed a group of men standing there

“Hello, little angel”

“Hi. You remember what you’re supposed to say?” she asked one of them

“Of course. I’m a professional, don’t worry” he winked at her

“I need you to say something else” she stated

“Which is?”

Ronnie whispered into his ear and at the same moment slim, blond woman appeared. The girl knew her pretty good – they used to compete with each other at school – before Ronnie’s accident. And there she was.

“Well, well, well. Is that Ronnie Zimmerman who I see?” the woman spoke

“Blenda…” the girl tried to smile

“In the flesh” she smirked mischievously

“Long time no see”

“Indeed. Well-” she looked at the men standing there “Maybe I should dance for your boyfriend?”

“For girlfriend actually. And no. Thank you, I think the guys can handle it”

“You sure? I’m pretty good at my job”

“I’m sure”

“Your loss, sucker. I’m sure your baby doll would enjoy my performance far more”

Ronnie gave her the best of her bitchy smiles without saying anything.

When she came back to their table the psychiatrist was already a bit tipsy. Luckily for Ronnie the older woman didn’t have enough time to notice that she’s nervous, as another performance started and a man on a stage spoke

“Is there any doctor here? We need a doctor”

Ronnie smirked – looking at Ellie who had no idea what was going to happen next

“We’re looking for a doctor. Mainly doctor Ellie”

Staple’s eyes widened as she heard her own name.

“I think they’re looking for you, baby” Ronnie chuckled

Ellie looked at the girl’s mischievous smile

“No! This isn’t happening!”

“Yes. It is”

“You didn’t…”

“I did” she said triumphantly smirking at her girlfriend “There!” Ronnie waved at the man “There she is”

“Ronnie! No…” she didn’t manage to finish, as a muscular man without his T-shirt stood right next to her

“Good evening” he took Ellie’s hand and kissed it

Ellie closed her eyes

“This is not happening” she repeated

Ronnie chuckled

“Some little spirit told me it’s your birthday today. We would like to give you your present. Will you join us on the stage?”

“I would really prefer n-” but before she could object there appeared a few more men

They lifted up the chair on which Ellie was sitting and carried her to the first row. The woman wanted to protest, but it was already too late.

“Chill out, doctor Staple. We’ll make sure you enjoy your present” one of them said leaning closer to her

“Ladies and gentlemen” the one – who kissed her hand began “Today’s this beautiful lady’s birthday. Tell me how old are you?” he asked her

Ellie looked at him – terrified of the question. The man noticed it immediately, so he leaned closer to her

“The woman shouldn’t be asked about her age. So, maybe tell me in secret” he winked at her

The psychiatrist took a deep breath and whispered the number into his ear

“What?! Are you kidding me? You look like 25 years old. I bet they have asked you for ID before they let you in” he joked smiling friendly at her “Never mind. Ellie, the next performance is for you. I won’t ask you to come on the stage with us, because I know of what your dear girlfriend is capable and I’m not going to risk my life. So, I’ll leave you right here to enjoy the show” he smiled once more and kissed her hand before jumping on the stage

The group began to dance and after a few minutes some of them were almost completely naked. Ellie covered her eyes with her hand and shook her head

“Oh god…” she sighed

At that moment she was thankful to Ronnie that she wasn’t sober, cause if she were she might probably run away or faint. She needed some time to process what exactly had happened and after a few more minutes she dared to look at the stage. That’s when something went wrong – at least she thought so.

The music – some rap that she didn’t hear before – stopped playing and instead the DJ turned one of Britney Spear’s hits – Gimme more. The men stopped their performance and looked at each other questioningly. That definitely wasn’t the plan for tonight.

That was a shock for Ronnie too. Especially, when she saw Blenda on the stage

“Fucking bitch” she mumbled to herself

The blonde woman began to dance – she moved closer than the men dared. Ronnie knew exactly that she did it on purpose – just to piss her off. And she succeeded. The girl almost break one of the glasses, when Blenda  jumped off the stage and came closer – far too close – to Ellie.

Ellie, on the other hand, was more than confused when the unknown woman leaned in to her as if she wanted to kiss her. She pulled away instinctively. But it was already too late – it hit the nerve.

Ronnie emptied one of the shots prepared for Ellie and stood up impulsively – not even thinking about it. At the very same moment two men headed into her direction.

The girl’s eyes were locked with Blenda – who was squirming in front of Ellie. She didn’t avert her eyes even when the men lifted her up and were carrying her to the stage.

“Try to be calm” the one of men – Rocky – who was speaking to Ellie before told her

She didn’t response

“Ronnie, she’s just a bitch…”

“And bitches get what they deserve. I’m going to uptear that blond shag of hers” she hissed

“Just try not to kill her” he said as they stood her on the stage

Ellie’s eyes widened as she saw her girlfriend on the stage and the crowd went wild. People began to whistle and cheer – demanding the battle.

Blenda smirked seeing how pissed off Ronnie already was. She clapped twice and the DJ turned on another song – Toxic.

Ellie wasn’t even able to stand up, as the women on the stage began to dance. They seemed as if they were about killing each other, but instead of hits there were only dance moves.

Blenda was definitely more experienced – she was a strip dancer by profession after all. But Ronnie did her best – and didn’t give an inch.

Seeing both of them on one stage competing was quite amusing. On the one side there was Blenda – dressed in a black costume – which exposed more than it was covering – she had also fishnet stockings and mountainous high heels. And then there was Ronnie in black dress – the one which Ellie adored – and her black converse.

It was a real battle – in which Blenda was the one to squirm on the floor, spreading her legs widely and moving her hands down her body in such a way that men in the room went crazy. Ronnie wasn’t going to copy such moves, but knew exactly what to do to won people’s attention back. The girl was more into crouching and showing how well – stretched her body was – after performing ballet in her young years.

And that seemed to work, particularly, on Ellie. She couldn’t take her eyes off Ronnie. She didn’t see anybody, but Ronnie and her perfect body. It felt as if she were hypnotised.

Then suddenly Blenda was way too close – once again. Ellie was more than surprised, as the other woman tried kind of twerk in front of her. At the very same moment Ronnie was done. The girl jumped off of the stage and made her way to the psychiatrist. She straddled her lap and with a smirk she licked the woman’s cheek looking triumphantly straight into Blenda’s eyes.

Ronnie did it in such an animalistic way that Ellie was sure her underwear was completely ruined by her arousal and even the dry cleaners couldn’t save it. But at that point she didn’t care. She let her hands wander to the girl’s bottom and pulled her closer, so that she could sit on her lap completely. Only then did she kiss her so passionately, that she knocked the wind out of the girl.

“Holly shit!” Ronnie said breathlessly “What was that for?”

“You know…”

“Hey sucker!” Blenda called her

Ronnie turned her to look at her opponent

“It’s not the end. Let’s ask the crowd who’s the winner” she smiled mischievously

Ronnie wanted to stand up, but Ellie didn’t let her – pulling her closer and lightly squeezing her bottom

“You’re staying with me”

The girl smiled and shifted on the other woman’s lap, so that she was facing the stage

“So, who is the winner?” Blenda asked the public

The girl waited with anticipation – not that winning was the most important thing for her, but it would be nice to put the bitch in her place and piss her off. However, Ellie didn’t care what was going on around. She finally had her girlfriend back – and wasn’t planing on letting her go any soon. The woman buried her face in the girl’s locks and kissed her sweaty neck.

“Ronnie?” Blenda continued and the crowd began to clap and whistle “Or me?”

The strip dancer got more claps and some men even catcalled her – which obviously mean she won the battle.

Blenda smirked at this and disappeared – leaving Ronnie sitting still on Ellie’s lap.

“I think it’s time to go back” Ellie whispered kissing the shell of her ear

_____________________________

Ronnie was suspiciously quiet, as they were going to the car, and even Ellie’s tipsy brain could notice it. The girl opened the car’s door for the other woman.

“Thank you” Ellie said grinning

Ronnie smiled in response before closing the door after Ellie got into the car.

“Why are you so silent?” asked the psychiatrist after a few minutes

“I’m not”

“You are. Suspiciously silent. What are you thinking about?”

“Noting”

“I might be drunk, but I’m not bling. Come on, don’t lie to me. Tell me” she looked at her pleadingly

“It’s nothing really” she tried to smile “Did you like it?” she asked

Ellie could sense that something was wrong with that question. They way Ronnie said it was weird. The girl’s enthusiasm connected with the whole event suddenly disappeared.

“I-” she hesitated “It was strange, different. But still great. Thank you, baby”

“And… did you enjoy Blenda’s performance?”

At that words Ellie understood – she was insecure. Maybe even jealous. Of course, that made sense. That’s why she decided to perform on her own.

“Who?” she asked playfully

“You know who!”

“Oh, baby” she leaned in and not paying attention to the fact the girl was driving she kissed her cheek “I truly don’t know. I didn’t give a fuck about her the moment you appeared. I was only looking at you. And that dress” she bit Ronnie’s earlobe “It’s my favourite” she slipped her hand under the black material to caress the girl’s bare thigh

“Ellie, I’m driving”

“Don’t disturb yourself” she chuckled boldly moving her fingertips so that they were touching Ronnie’s underwear

“Ellie!”

“What?” she chuckled kissing her jaw

“Can you just wait a few minutes?”

“You started it. It’s not my fault you turned me on that much”

“You sure it was me, cause maybe it was Blenda” she complained

“I wasn’t even looking at that whore. I would have left if it hadn’t been for you. I mean when you jumped on the stage in those dress… And damn! Your legs. And those things you were doing… I didn’t even know you’re that flexible. I think we need to make use of it in the bedroom”

Ronnie shook her, as a light blush covered her cheeks.

“You were amazing. And your performance�� wow. I’m so impressed, that you cannot even imagine. And I’m going to show you how much I liked it” she pulled the girl’s hair to the side and began sucking on her neck. Ellie stopped only when the girl stopped the car and cut the engine. Ronnie looked at her and the psychiatrist smiled. The older woman gently placed both of her hands on the girl’s cheeks – making sure she won’t turn her face

“You’re the best. I hope you know that for me it was you who won”

“Yeah” she smiled shyly

____________________________

“Now, you can choose how you want me to fuck you”

“Geez, El! You’re really drunk” she laughed

“Probably. So what? You won’t say you don’t want me to touch you, cause it would be a lie”

“Actually, I’ve got one more present for you”

“Oh, really?” she arched her eyebrow playfully

“Yeah. But you will have to look for it on you own” she said unbuttoning her dress

Ellie didn’t need to be told twice. She gladly came closer and helped the girl out of her dress. The woman smirked seeing a black, lace lingerie that Ronnie had on.

“Is this my present?” she asked with a sly smile

“Nope. That’s only a wrapping”

“Oh, I see. So, I need to go on” she smiled widely kissing the girl as they were moving to the bedroom

Ellie gently pushed the girl on the bed and took off her own skirt.

“I love it” she pointed to the set of lingerie “But I love even more what’s underneath” she smirked unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing

“Unhook it” Ronnie ordered sitting, so that the woman could have a better access

The psychiatrist sat beside Ronnie and slowly began to remove the lace material. She slipped it off of the girl’s shoulders and moved forward. That’s when she saw it – a tattoo. It was on the girl’s pelvis – a black rose with their initials below. The woman could see that ink was still fresh as the skin under it was a bit red.

Ellie carefully touched it.

“I know you’re not really into tattoos, but I thought that maybe you’ll like it”

“I- It’s beautiful” she smiled “As you said, I’m not into tattoos, but I’m definitely into you. And I love every inch of you, also your tattoos. And this-” she paused and looked at the tattoo “This is the most extraordinary present I’ve ever got”

Ronnie smiled happily

“Now, let me prove my point” she said slowly laying her on the bed

Ellie looked at the girl lovingly and then moved to place a few kisses on her pelvic bone – right next to the ink.

The older woman made sure she thanked Ronnie properly for the whole day. Only after that she began to kiss every part of the girl’s body – giving even more attention to those parts with tattoos. She kissed down Ronnie’s cleavage to the image of a moth tattooed between her ribs. She trailed wet kisses down the girl’s abdomen, just before edging to her left thigh – to another tattoo of a unicorn. And at the end she shifted to kiss Ronnie in her lips and was kissing all over her face until the girl fell asleep.

The psychiatrist laid down right next to her girlfriend. She looked at her naked and still uncovered body and smiled fondly.

She truly loved her. With all her tattoos and crazy – sometimes even stupid – ideas, but that was her charm. She was an artistic soul – a painter and dance. She was the most spectacular and extraordinary person in her life. She was just her precious little girl.

Ellie kissed Ronnie’s forehead tenderly and covered them both with white sheets, before drifting off.

[chogiwachogiwa]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: GOT7, Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Yugyeom, Chae Hyungwon/Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Min Yoongi | Suga/Yoo Kihyun, Lee Jooheon/Jackson Wang, Choi Youngjae/Lim Changkyun | I.M, Im Jaebum | JB/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Chae Hyungwon/Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X)/Mark Tuan/Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam Characters: Kim Yugyeom, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Chae Hyungwon, Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Min Yoongi | Suga, Yoo Kihyun, Jackson Wang, Lee Jooheon, Choi Youngjae, Im Changkyun | I.M, Im Jaebum | JB, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), Mark Tuan, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Park Jinyoung | Jr. Additional Tags: Birthday Party, Birthday Sex, Birthday Smut, Kissing, Drunken Kissing, Drinking, Drinking Games, Truth or Dare, Body Shots, Making Out, Lapdance, Threesome - M/M/M, Neck Kissing, Sexting, Cooking, Nipple Piercings, jooheon can't stop rapping, jin and jinyoung mom off, dance battle, Stripping, Seven Minutes In Heaven Game, Sassy Hyungwon, Shy Mark Tuan, floor humping, Twerking, Grinding, touching fronts, rubbing fronts, Crack Relationships, Banter, Rare Pairings, 21st Birthday, Nipple Play, Nipples, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor Summary:

Yugyeom is throwing a party for his 21st birthday. Little does he know, he has invited his boyfriend’s ex.