fireteam-fireteam

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol groans, perhaps a bit more exaggerated than need be, as he slides on behind Atlas, locking his long limbs onto the Titan. It's uncomfortable being pressed so close to an exo with hard parts digging into the soft parts of his own body - maybe this is why Shiloh wears enough layers to make them feel like a piece of furniture with child safe paddings on every edge.

"Yes, please, let's go."

The previously chilly wind is almost cutting as they race through the streets, thankfully mostly free of other vehicles. He presses his face against Atlas' shoulder blades, hoping the living wind shield in front of him will keep his nose and ears from freezing.

"I'm amazed helmets aren't mandatory."

He's trying not to yell, but it's not easy to be heard over both the roar of the engine and the whipping winds around them.

"You'd think City folk would get tired of having to scrape Guardian brain matter off of asphalt every other week when they forget brakes exist."

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol curses Bongji under his breath, hoping it can feel his intentions through their "bond". (Or whatever it is everyone else seems to claim a Guardian and their Ghost is supposed to have. Sounds fake.)

So, either he walks all the way to the other side of the City - which, even with his stamina and high quality prosthetics, is exhausting - or he asks Atlas to give him a ride, which will likely involve him having to press himself against the Titan and hang on for dear life as they race down the road. Neither options are great, but at least the latter will be painful for a shorter period of time.

He gives Atlas an uncomfortable look, shuffling his feet like he's a teenager scared to admit to his parents that he just accidently dropped a family heirloom on the dog's head.

Wait no, that was more appropriate for when they were still in the restaurant.

Right now, he feels more like a teenager trying to swallow his pride so he can ask his mother to drive him to the theaters, knowing fully that she will embarrass the hell out of him in front of his friends with her over-affectionate teasing.

"Come on, man. Don't make me say it."

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol chuckles. He would make a quip back if he was in the right headspace for it. Atlas was already joking with him again, like everything was okay. Shit, what did he ever do to deserve a friend like that?

He didn't. Which is why he had to do better.

He summons Ghost, who stares at him blankly. He gestures to Atlas with his sparrow, hoping it would get the hint, but Bongji simply lets out a sound that may be a imitation of a yawn before disappearing again.

Really?

He slowly looks over to Atlas, too embarrassed to suggest what's on his mind as he realizes his Ghost will not be providing him with his own sparrow. He's torn between hoping the Titan will shrug and tell him to meet him there, and hoping he'll ask the question first so Cheonhyeol doesn't have to.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol lets out a shaky laugh. His voice is still a bit watery, with a slight rasp from straining to keep his crying as quiet as he could.

"Dude, at least your ass can still feel."

He slowly gets up with a soft grunt, stretching his back and loosening the joints that were frozen stiff. He can still feel the ghost of a touch lingering on his scalp where Atlas brushed his hair. It's... not unpleasant, to his surprise.

Patting his slacks to dust them off, he spares one last moment to pull at the wrinkles on his dress shirt before meeting "eyes" with Atlas.

"Thanks."

For coming here. For listening to him. For not hating him. For still being his friend.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Bongji blinks and scoots closer to Cloud, letting out a noise that may be comparable to a tiny, high pitched faulty printer quietly trying and failing to push out a piece of paper. It leans over to bump its shell into theirs before quickly retreating, not giving the other Ghost a chance to react. If one was able to read the expressions of Ghosts, they may notice the very smug look it had as it hid itself away once more.

Cheonhyeol, meanwhile, is swallowing his pride to let Atlas run his fingers through his hair. It is a relaxing, yet embarrassing ordeal. The tightness in his throat eases up, and his vision clears as his breathing evens out again.

"I'm... going to go home.... clean up, and... see if Shiloh is ready to talk to me again."

Last he checked, they were still in the closet alongside the armful of blankets they had dragged in with them before he could even explain himself.

"Would it be selfish if I asked you to come with me as emotional support?"

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

No, no, no no no no.

He didn't mean for this to become a pity party. This was the story of a selfish idiot who wanted to feel better about himself by telling a horrible truth, only to lose what remained of his friends. He had been ready for contempt, for anger, for fear and disgust.

He wasn't supposed to be pitied.

He had done nothing to earn it.

Whatever sound of protest he attempted to make is morphed into a choked sob by the time it leaves him.

Atlas did nothing wrong. He had no way of knowing what was going on then, and he reacted in an understanable way for someone with his trauma. He shouldn't be apologizing.

Cheonhyeol leans into the Titan, burying his face into the man holding him, wishing that he could tell him all of that without having to talk.

He just barely misses Bongji show up and float up towards Cloud, its green optic brighter than before, shell twitching in anticipation.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

The touch is almost scalding, like a fork in an open socket or a glowing hot pan, yet he can't bring himself to pull away. He grasps onto the hand that was offered to him like it's a lifeline, a rope in a storm - it may not be pulling him out, but it was keeping him from drowning.

The pressure that has been building in the back of his eyes releases in the form of tears, which Cheonhyeol attempts to hide by looking away from Atlas. As long as he doesn't try to rub them away before he washes his face, there will be no trace of them.

He feels like he should say something. Thank him. Apologize to him. Anything. But he's afraid that if he opens his mouth, he'll choke on his own words. It's shameful enough that he's crying in a dingy alleyway after admitting to murder like he's trying to garner sympathy. He doesn't want Atlas to know.

Shit. He really hopes Atlas is bad at reading body language.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

He can't quite make out Atlas' Ghost from where he is seated, but he can hear him mutter what he assumes are reassurances. The thought of Cloud being scared of him evokes both guilt and slight frustration. He would never gravely harm a Ghost. That was one line he would never cross.

Or so he tells himself. He never thought he'd torture someone to death, either. Who knows what the fuck else he'd be willing to do.

Cheonhyeol mirrors Atlas, tilting his head back till it rests on the wall. The sky is dark, but no stars are visible through the narrow crack between buildings. The tips of his fingers feel numb from the cold, yet they remain steady.

"Atlas."

The name comes out as a whisper.

"Are we still friends?"

He doesn't even know why he's asking. If he says no, he... well, Cheonhyeol doesn't even know how he'll respond to that. He doesn't know how he ended up growing so attached to Atlas. The thought of him leaving is what sends a chill down his spine for the first time since he left the restaurant.

Is this what will break him? After everything else that happened, will losing a man who took forever for him to consider a friend be the final straw?

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Trial?

The thought of repeating the process of confessing his crimes, this time to a room full of people ready to judge him, to judge those who aided him in covering it up, makes the inside of his mouth taste sour. He shakes his head, fighting off the nausea building up in his throat.

As for the other option...

"They do. I told them."

Hatch seemed... curious of their past, but no more than that. There was no obsession in their eyes to reclaim what was once theirs, to recover their memories and research. Just a desire to understand why they had done what they had done.

Somehow, that made him feel worse.

Hatch had very little to say about the matter, as it turned out. All they wanted was access to their old home, which was a bit of a legal nightmare, but doable. Cheonhyeol had spent weeks watching for a sign that they were plotting something, laying in wait for the right time to strike back at him. To get their revenge, like he got his.

There were no such signs, as far as he could tell.

"I wish they were angry at me - like you are. That would make it... easier."

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

He flinches when the fist is raised, but eases up when Atlas simply gives him a light tap (or what constitutes as a light tap for a Titan).

He doesn't respond verbally at the question, but the panicked look on his face would be enough of an answer if one could see him.

Cheonhyeol had loosened his metaphorical grip on Hatch since that day on his ship after they had snuck out to the Moon of all places. No more did he stalk them throughout the Tower and follow them out on the field. He had moved onto tracking them through implanted devices, alongside watching them through the City's security system. It was distressingly easy to slip in and out without a trace, carefully tracing their steps from a park to a public library to a café, where he saw them interact with Shiloh and Atlas.

Cheonhyeol had thought he was going to have a heart attack when Shiloh waved the total stranger over to their table. He nearly did have one when the three met again days later in the Tower by the vaults.

"I didn't mean for any of this."

How could he have known that his impulsive hunt all those months ago would have resulted in this? He was juggling secrets, desperately trying not to drop any in the fear of being exposed of both his crimes, and those of the people that he, inexplicably, still very much cared about.

There is a pressure building up behind his eyes. Heat wells, and he forces his breathing to stay calm. It's cold. He's fucked up spectacularly, and he's cold. His vision blurs for a moment, but he manages to blink it away.

"I don't know how to deal with any of this."

He's even been lying to himself. He didn't decide to tell the truth because he thought his friends deserved to know. He's telling them because he doesn't know how to deal with the consequences of his own actions and needs help. Turns out Atlas was right about him being an idiot. He was dumb enough to be fooled by himself.

"I... I don't know what to do anymore."

Selfish. Utterly selfish.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

It hurts.

It hurts to hear those words coming from him. To know he has let him down, that he is on the verge of giving up on him. To know how much this has hurt Atlas himself.

He still cares. He swears he still cares. He can't be a sociopath. He's... he's just trying to figure out how to explain without giving away too much.

"I'm... not the only one involved in this mess."

Just admitting that feels like he's endangering the others, even if two of them probably couldn't care less if he died. He still cares. He swears he still cares.

"If it was just me on the line here, I would have told you everything already, I promise."

Was he somehow proving he wasn't a terrible person by potentially throwing the others under the bus? Is that how this was playing out?

Cheonhyeol feels the joints of his legs gently creak as he slides down to join Atlas on the cold ground. The evening air is freezing, yet he doesn't seem to be shivering. A perk of attuning oneself to Void, he learned a while ago. He wants to make things right, but he doesn't know how. He's trying. He swears, he's trying. He just... keeps doing it wrong.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol was terrible with words. His sentences were always either too vague or too long winded, unnecessarily complicated and empty, repetitive. That was why he had practiced so much before his dinner with Atlas. He had plans. He had a script.

Not that any of that mattered anymore.

He stares down at the man who, just a minute ago, looked like he was ready to lunge at him. It feels wrong, seeing him hunched over on the cold ground. Cheonhyeol is torn between being relieved that he is no longer outwardly hostile, and being worried about what must be going on in the Titan's head.

"I..."

Does he regret what he did? It was exhausting, messy, and still hangs over him to this day. He has become the guardian of a Guardian, guiding them through a field of landmines. He has not known a day of peace since that day. He's been avoiding Fatal for months out of shame. Mabii hates him but can't even say it. Most people within Sunny's social radius are wary of him.

"I don't."

There was an inexplicable thrill that made him nauseous to recall. The steady climb of adrenaline as he tracked them down, the burst of energy in his exhausted body as he struck first, the high of overpowering them, pinning them down, and undoing them.

It had been exhilarating.

"But... for what it's worth, if I could go back to that moment, I would let them go."

If only so he could return to something reassembling normality.

"I don't know what that says about me."

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol realizes a bit too late that he misspoke. He knows he sounds callous. He sounds uncaring. But he doesn't know how to convince Atlas that he does care, that he has been plagued by the thoughts of his choice that day. If he started crying, would it make it look genuine enough? Could he even cry right now, if he willed himself to?

He couldn't tell him too much. As blunt as Atlas was, the man was stubborn. The last thing Cheonhyeol wanted was for the Titan to put the pieces together, drag himself into this tangled mess that was just barely staying out of the field of view of much deadlier forces.

He would have to be honest as he can without giving away details. Nothing that could be dug into for more information, nothing that could clue him into who else was involved.

"They were dangerous."

But that wasn't why he killed them. Their research, while wading in a dangerous field, was almost harmless compared to the atrocities many others had committed in the pursuit of knowledge. They would have become a non-threat to be forgotten in a few decades.

"But... it wasn't about stopping them."

He didn't do it out of some sense of justice. He wasn't that heroic. It was personal. Raw. Emotional. He wanted to tear them apart, destroy them and let someone else take up the space they had been in before.

"I was... angry."

He killed them because they tried to kill Fatal.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Cheonhyeol instinctively takes a step back, which puts him right against the wall, trapped in place by Atlas. The hairs on the back of his head by the neck stand as it catches static. His body wants to respond with a raised blade, a likely less threatening display of Void, a cold look that promises no hesitation if the Titan makes a move.

He doesn't.

"I don't know. I didn't know them all that well. I don't think anyone did, really."

He could ruminate on that for hours. Deciding to dip his toes into philosophy was a horrible idea for his own mental health, as it turned out. He couldn't stop thinking about things that should no longer matter.

"But the one person who came the closest to understanding them... hasn't killed me yet.

Mabii definitely hated him. He was certain the only reason she hadn't murdered him on the spot that day was because she was simply tired of losing people. She likely regretted ever meeting him, and would never treat him with anything higher than tolerance towards his existence.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

Tianlong. The Warlock who made a horrible decision and had to live through the aftermath. Who faked their death, not once, but twice. Who tried to kill Fatal. Who has potentially killed others before.

The Exo who spent so much time working on a way to eradicate the influence of the Darkness. Who claimed to have never faked affection towards those who called them a friend or sibling. Who put up a fight, but ultimately let Cheonhyeol kill them.

Did they deserve it?

"I'm not sure."

They had friends, if few in numbers. They had people who protected them, who worked with them, who cried for them. But did they *know* them?

"I'm not sure..."

No one really seemed to have. Not even those who thought they did. Not even himself, who spent months digging into their past - or her, who knew them since they were Xiezhi.

"...Does it matter?"

Was their death justified by Cheonhyeol saying that it was? By Atlas believing that it was? The fact that he had erased them would be not changed by the answer. Could it somehow be considered better, less reprehensible, because someone decided that by their own metric, Tianlong had deserved it?

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

His eyes flicker back up to Atlas.

"I wouldn't hurt you."

Unless he had to.

"I'm still the same person I was 10 minutes ago, 10 months ago. I'm still Cheonhyeol."

Was he?

He still had the same name since he was risen. He still preferred the same weapon loadout. He still enjoyed data collection missions and movie nights and teasing Shiloh about Atlas.

But something definitely changed the day he made the decision to reset Tianlong and bring Hatch to the Tower. He's existed for a year and a half, and he has been a murderer for at least one third of his life.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.

[fireteam-fireteam]

He stumbles as he is pushed, but quickly finds his balance to face Atlas. His eyes can not bear to look to long at him, so he lowers his gaze to a spot on the ground where he can see a small crack in the concrete.

"Would you have preferred I never tell you?"

It's a genuine question. He thinks Atlas would have been fine not knowing. The confession was not for the Titan, but for his own selfish need to be honest. He has taken a brick off of his chest, only to use it to bludgeon his friend insetad.

Were they even still friends?

Cheonhyeol imagines himself confessing the same thing, not now, but months, maybe years later. Or the truth coming out involuntarily, due to him growing too comfortable. He imagines Atlas realizing that he had been spending time with a murderer for so long, oblivious of his crimes the entire time.

This was preferable for him.

@fireteam-kaminari

The message that pops up in Atlas’ inbox at the crack of dawn is short and to the point. A time and location - early evening, and a relatively high end restaurant near the center of the City. The sender’s username is not one registered in his friends list, but it’s not difficult to guess who ‘cheonhyeol@citynet’ is.