#rants of a mentally disturbed girl

[moonamite]

Is it normal? To feel such anger and disdain when others describe simple pleasures I’ll never understand?

[playcraze]

Bro.... some twdg fanfic titles really be testing my patience and anger like wtf is wrong with them 😤

Long rant in the tags, sorry 😞

[bbydoll18xx]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Paige Bueckers x reader

KK tries to set you up on live, and things between you and Paige go south.

Word Count: 1.7k

Themes: angst, maybe some fluff?

This is heavily inspired by my love life, so yes, please feel free to feel bad for me thanks xoxo

~

“And oh, my god, he was so fucking stupid,” you exclaim exasperatedly, your longwinded rant having no ending in sight. “Like you’re literally in college and you can’t even hold a basic conversation? And don’t even get me started on his fucking mustache,” you add, gagging dramatically for good measure.

Hands were flying in the air as you spoke, and the girls of UCONN’s women’s basketball team listened amusedly as you complained about your latest failure of a date. You had promised yourself you’d get back out into the dating world after your two year relationship with your high school sweetheart had ended, but that was nearly three years ago. And now that you had gone through every stage of grief and were now (mostly) mentally stable again, you had begun dating to find ‘the one.’ 

However ‘the one’ seemed to be hiding among the frat boys and useless idiots you had been spending your friday and saturday nights with for the last six months. And you were quickly growing tired of their bullshit. 

“And then,” you dragged out the word theatrically, leaning forward to the group of girls listening, “he told me he wanted to do a line of cocaine off my ass! Like who even says that?”

The girls erupt in a fit of giggles and gasps, disturbed by your most recent date. 

You shake your head in mild embarrassment and place your head in your hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh, trying to avoid Paige’s stare. 

She was always staring, as if she could tell what you were thinking. And to be honest, it freaked you out because if she actually knew what you were thinking, you’d be in some deep shit.

You had feelings for Paige from the first day you had met her, and the battle was certainly an uphill one at that. A little voice in your head whispered mockingly that the reason you had been going on all these dates was to distract yourself from the harsh reality that Paige was just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And it really fucking stung. 

KK cuts through the silence, placing a soothing hand on your back. “I know what to do,” she says with a knowing smile. You meet her smirk with a confused look, wondering what the younger girl had in mind. “Let’s go on live and find you a boo!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together.

The other girls erupt in laughter at the idea, nodding their heads in agreement. The only one who is uncharacteristically quiet is Paige, who has a funny look on her face. Her nose scrunches slightly, and because you had spent years memorizing every part of Paige, including her moods and facial expressions, you would almost say she looked pissed.

Glancing back over to KK, you let out another long sigh, throwing your hands in the air defeatedly. “Sure, why the hell not?” 

She whoops excitedly, grabbing her phone and propping it up on the table in front of where the two of you were sitting. She clicks on the live, and it was not long before hundreds of people were flooding in with comments. 

“Hey, y’all!” KK greets the fans with a small wave and a huge grin. You try to hold back a grin of your own, but her excitement was infectious, and you felt grateful that your friends cared about fixing your sham of a love life. 

“We’ve got a special guest tonight,” KK explains, and you wave shyly at the camera. You typically did not love all the attention, and you tended to stay in the background when the other girls would go live. 

“Okay, so boom, we are looking for a date for my girl over here,” KK begins, explaining the situation to the people on the live. “Serious inquiries only!” She adds, wagging a finger towards the camera. “She is precious, and some of y’all are straight up freaks.”

You giggle at her words, trying to read the comments. Many of them we’re trying to gauge your sexuality, and upon reading another ‘is she gay’ comment, you decide to clarify. 

“I’m bisexual,” you murmur shyly. It had been nearly 6 years since you had realized you like girls, yet you still struggled with enunciating the fact. 

“Oh girl, they love you,” KK sings, patting herself on the back for her idea. “How about if y’all have some talent, join the live and woo my girl.”

Paige has since moved from her chair opposite you to sit next to you on the couch. Her leg is pressed up against yours, the warmth of her body radiating onto yours, and you bite your lip. 

“Yeah, yeah Paige is here. This ain’t about blondie today,” KK scolds the fans. “Now I want to see some good talent.” 

You turn your head to look at Paige, and she rolls her eyes at KK. “KK, don’t be mean to them,” she laughs, waving to the live. 

In your head you’re thinking that you honestly can’t even blame the fans. Paige was hot. You wanted to see her too. 

KK lets in the first girl, who upon seeing Paige, shrieks and throws her phone onto the carpet of her bedroom. You laugh, and KK lets out a huff of annoyance, deleting her immediately and moves on to find another person.

“This one seems promising,” she mutters, and you play with a piece of hair nervously. Being in front of the camera felt ridiculous, and you wonder how you got yourself into this situation. You are quickly pulled out of your thoughts by another young girl, desperately trying to serenade you and the other girls with a song. You try your best to avoid cringing, but the performance left you with bad secondhand embarrassment. 

A whole twenty minutes pass before someone promising pops up on the screen. A girl about your age with long dark hair and piercing green eyes is waving flirtatiously at the screen, causing you to sit up a little straighter. Next to you, Paige stiffens, and your eyes flit to her on KK’s phone, jaw clenched in a way that has your stomach rolling. You look down and notice her hand was closed in a fist, the other picking at a piece of lint on the couch. 

You avert your eyes back to the girl who was still smiling widely, and you make casual smalltalk with her, feeling warm from the attention of a pretty girl.

Comments are flooding in, and while you’re glad to see that many of them are about what a cute couple you and the mystery girl would make, you also notice an influx in comments regarding how mad Paige looked.

Before you could look over to check on her, she was flying off the couch and stomping out of the room. You hear her door close loudly, and you meet KK’s eye with a confused look. Paige’s departure has the fans going wild, and you whisper to the younger girl that she should end the live. 

“Okay, y’all, we gotta go. Feel free to DM her, though,” KK tells the dark-haired girl with a devilish grin, and she signs off quickly.

“What the fuck was all that about?” you ask no one in particular, eliciting shrugs from Aubrey, Ice, and Jana. 

“She’s been moody all day,” Aubrey says casually, and you pout, thinking about your best friend who was clearly unhappy about something.

“I’ll go check on her,” you mutter, heading towards the closed door of Paige’s bedroom. Standing in front of it, you take a deep breath before knocking.

“Come in,” you hear her mutter, and you enter the dark room, the only light shining from the tv and reflecting off the glassiness of Paige’s eyes. 

You sit on her bed next to her, placing a comforting hand on her thigh. “What’s wrong?” you ask gently, not wanting to spook her. She rarely opened up about the way she was feeling, and you did not want to rush her into admitting anything if she wasn’t ready.

She shrugs, quickly wiping at her eyes, and your heart nearly crumbles at the sight. You rub soothing circles onto her leg and reach up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. The intimacy of it all is almost overwhelming, and you bite your bottom lip to keep in the feelings bubbling inside of you, threatening to expose everything.

“Just tired,” Paige mumbles, and you peek at her face, studying the beauty of her features. 

Your phone lights up in your hand, alerting you to a DM you had just received from the girl from the live, and you attempt to hold back a wide smile at her boldness. Paige looks down at your screen as you text the girl, Scarlett, back with a giddy expression. 

“I’m going to go to bed,” she says coldly, already moving to get under the covers. 

“Want me to stay?” You ask hopefully, trying to sound casual. Sleepovers between the two of you had become a cherished ritual, and you needed the simple proximity to make you feel whole again. 

“Nah,” she replies flatly, eyes closed and back turned in harsh finality. 

“O-oh, okay. Well, goodnight,” you stutter, temporarily stunned at her poignancy, and you flee her room with your head hung low in rejection.

“Is she okay?” KK asks. You don’t even know how to answer that.

“I have no clue what her deal is,” you mumble. “She’s never not wanted me around, so I think I’m just going to go. I’ve got a girl to get to know,” you add, trying to make yourself feel better.

“We’ll let you know if anything happens,” Ice responds kindly, and you nod gratefully in her direction before you take your leave.

You ignore the anxiety as you walk back home, instead focusing on the flirty messages Scarlett was sending to you. ‘This is what I need,’ you think. Paige was never going to be yours, and now you finally had a real chance at getting over her. 

With your head held high, you vowed that your feelings for Paige Bueckers would disappear. But would they really? Time could only tell. 

~

Part 2

Part 3

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you would be interested in a second part to this!!

[parkersgnome]

⭐️Mima Rants⭐️

I remember coming across slideshow on tik tok this about a year ago, and even *I* (as someone who used to be grossed out by proshipping) thought was ridiculous…

This is the title of the slideshow.

Just a heads up guys, just like our favorite ships, None of these stories are real.

And if they were based on actual events, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a video about that instead of making up shit that never happened?

But, Let’s go through each of these as if they were real stories, shall we?

First one

“Caleb uses the internet to deal with his trauma”, Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.

Isn’t “Staying off the internet is beneficial for your mental health” something we learned in, idk, fucking grade school? Cyber safety PSAs in middle school? Something that dozens of people have screeched from the top of their lungs since social media was invented?

Who the heck told him that being on the internet was going to help with his trauma and improve his mental health???

His feelings are valid, I get that. He has every right to be disturbed by Sage’s writings and fantasies. However, it seems that Sage isn't encouraging these actions in real life and keeps them strictly within fiction. As long as it’s in text or art, Sage has every right to express his fantasies.

Anyways, Caleb should seek a better therapist who can teach him better coping mechanisms like going out for walks, yoga, baking, or some other fourth thing instead of browsing social media where there’s a good chance he can run into something that makes him uncomfortable.

Next one…

“Jackie is 10-”

Yeah no no no no no no.. no… NO.

10-years-old. That’s, like, what? 4th grade? Shouldn’t Jackie be watching cartoons, playing with toys, or better yet, playing outside? Why did her parents give her internet access? Why aren’t they monitoring what their elementary schooled daughter is watching online?

If Charlie was going out of her way to promote this to minors then I would say she’s in the wrong, but this story never implies whether her content was specifically targeted to and/or letting minors come on to her account.

I've never seen proshippers create accounts specifically targeting children. If Charlie makes it clear her content isn't for kids, then it's not her fault if some random little girl she doesn’t know ends up consuming it.

If Jackie started to think this was normal, then it is her parent’s fault for neglecting her online safety and allowing her to access adult-targeted content at an age when media literacy is at an all time low.

The last one

“dEGenErates LiKE hiM 🤓” 💀💀

Once again, unless you can present to me a REAL LIFE incest/pedophilia case where proshipping was involved, this is not a valid argument that fiction affects reality.

Alas, we're treating these stories as if they were real. If Trey feels compelled to SA his sister after seeing writings or drawings of problematic ships, this suggests he’s likely an untreated mentally ill individual, especially since he can't differentiate fiction from reality.

What? If Trey played GTA V and started shooting and robbing a bank because he wanted to be like Trevor Phillips, should we consider banning violent video games?

As proshippers, we do not endorse real-life criminals and genuinely terrible people. The essence of proshipping is that all negative or degenerate actions should be confined to fiction. Understand?

End of discussion.

Anyway, as ridiculous as that slideshow was, please refrain from harassing or bothering the artist who made it. They have the same freedom of speech we do, and stooping to harassment and bullying wouldn't make us any better than antis who promote such behavior.

[guppybibi]

PJSK boys with sleepy gn!reader

✧┊Akito, Rui, Toya, Tsukasa

❁ཻུ۪۪♡

❥ Akito

- you two usually have a set time everyday where you call and tell everything about each other's day, especially during the weekends as Akito usually performs at his gigs so he's pretty busy.

- so when you don't pick up this time no matter how much he called, he starts to get worried. but again, it was saturday so you may be out with your friends or family so he shrugged it off. just messaging and updating you.

- though when sunday comes, you still won't answer his calls! though he’d refuse to admit it, he's starting to get incredibly worried.

- after a few minutes of contemplating, he decides to pay you a little visit. he knew your parents were off for work, adding to his worries.

- good thing he has a spare key, he slowly opens the front door. no one was there, the lights weren't even on. he decided to go upstairs, to your bedroom.

- and behold, there you were—completely wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket with the air conditioning on. that was when he realized, you’ve been asleep for practically two days. you were basically hibernating.

- he mentally curses himself for not remembering, but hey. this was the perfect opportunity for cuddles! (he’ll deny that he likes cuddles in public)

❥ Rui

- oftentimes he rants to you about how his shows went and such, and today was no different. you two were seated beside each other at a cafe near the theme park since he’d just finished a play.

- once you two get your orders, he starts rambling. it could range from choreography mistakes to machine malfunctions, you get it.

- it doesn't take long for him to realize you aren't listening to him anymore as you start subconsciously laying your head on his shoulder.

- “fufu~” he chuckles quietly, making sure you were comfortable. he looks over to the pile of food and thinks about how he's going to finish this all by himself..he secretly hopes you'll wake up soon..

❥ Toya

- toya, being the academic achiever he is, offered to tutor you after school at his home. you weren't really given a choice anyways, he couldn't let his other half fail after all.

- today wasn't an exception, the same place at the same time. only this time, he was teaching you an unbearably boring subject.

- it didn't help that you were incredibly sleepy either, a few minutes of yawning, rubbing your eyes and uncomfortably shifting yourself around his bed. you fall dead asleep.

- and that wasn't an understatement. you fell on your back, and started snoring lightly.

- at first, toya thought you fainted and started choking on your spit or something. only calming down when he realized you simply just fell asleep.

- he places the textbook down and tuck you in, with a forehead kiss of course! he’ll make you some food for when you wake up! or maybe not..that isn't the best idea.

❥ Tsukasa

- you two have an agreement with each other, he performs a play for you to practice his acting skills and you give him proper feedback. seems easy enough, right?

- well it was, but not today. yes, you usually felt sleepy–it wasn't anything new to you. however, this time it was different. you just wanted to jump into bed and doze off, but that was disturbed when your boyfriend started his act.

- you tried to persevere through the incredibly long performance (it was only like 15 minutes), yet your body had a mind of it's own and decided to let you rest.

- tsukasa almost screamed like a little girl when he saw you fall asleep because he thought you died from..natural causes or something..

- so you could only feel the huge sigh of relief when he grasps that you just fell asleep. he takes off his costume, tosses them aside and snuggles up beside you.

- a star like him needs his beauty sleep as well after all..

[4rs0n1stt]

Talk To You //

Hopeless!Romantic!Donnie x Fem!Reader

author's note; kinda like a song fic (it's not) but yeah, super super late though!!  Donnie's POV btw!!

yes it's been a 3 months 😋

Synopsis; Donnie has been keeping an eye on someone, being a hopeless romantic and his ”bad boy image“ isn't particularly helping.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I hate this, I really hate this. Einstein, fucking help me. I wasn't supposed to like her! I wasn't supposed to like anyone!! I do not have any romantic feelings to her. But every single thing that I researched said otherwise. Even my own brother says so!! Why does everytime I look at you I get so— vulnerable? Staring at your face always made me calm. Admiring? Ew. But— those little short eye contacts are indescribably astonishing to feel. Maybe just maybe?

I don't know. You're messing up my mind- you little—

"Gahh, what should I do?" I groaned and slammed my head onto my table, a pencil fell from the said table. I stayed silent, frustrated at this ungodly useless feelings I've been feeling. I couldn't take her off my mind. All day long, I daydream about her which takes most of my productivity a waste. I haven't done anything but think about that little twat.

Reflecting doesn't help at all, all I think was her and her! Thinking about now, I just don't know why you keep being calm even though I've been so mean to you. I shouldn't do anything stupid like that but I can't help it, I'm figuring this out.

Feelings are so complicated to feel and such an unfortunate thing for me to have something people call as “humane“.

"Hey Donnie! Someoneeee~ got pizza!! She has your favourite!" Leo yelled at the other side of my door. Disturbing me from my reminiscing of this said person. Leo always knew about what our relation—rivalryship (even if it's partially one-sided) is. And he uses it as an advantage to tease me, specifically—fucking with me up.

I wouldn't blame him entirely though, I liked and hated this feeling. He doesn't know anyway. I wouldn't blame him aswell, she's really...cool, I guess.

I stopped myself from thinking about her before it gets worse. I fixed myself, not just physically but mentally, it's an eager to make her impress. But she wouldn't be impressed as I have been mean to her.

As I went to the main room, I wasn't particularly sure where they were but as I, the genius, were right. They were all huddled up with each other. Apparently they missed her for being gone for 13 days, 56 minutes and 12 seconds-

Goddamnit it...

"Ughhh, finally!! Some break from that shithole." She complained, I wondered. She picked a sliced pizza on the placed pizza on the ground and sat at the bean bag. She sighed releasing the stress and pain from her back...I suppose.

"Girl. Spill everything."  Leo spoke excitedly like a girl's girl. Everyone gets their preferred pizza and/or pillows, blankets and sat with her. Curious on her new stories about her college.

I was really uninterested about school, but I find myself listening on her rantings about the latest drama, tea and struggles on her daily life of college. I somewhat don't understand her words, I don't care anyway. Her voice has always been nice to hear even if she stuttered sometimes.

But every flaws she had was attractive. It's...unfair. That she's so extraordinary and remarkable human that we happen to stumble upon. I looked at her longingly, eyeing her squinted smile, her pimples, her.

I wish I can talk to you.

To talk to you without any mean remarks towards her, to be able to hear her laugh and compliments towards my acts.

I want to be near her, to feel her presence all of the time. To spend time with her just like my brothers do. How I envy them, surprisingly.

It's so frustrating, it's been years. I've been struggling with my quote unquote "love" or "admiration" towards her. She must be a witch, no one can make me feel like a hopeless pathetic, lovesick dog!

Even if I wanted to confess, I wouldn't have the chance to, I'm way too vulnerable when we're alone. I get so shy and flustered to do it.

Let alone I'm horrible at confronting my feelings, I can even write a damn letter for Einstein's sake!

I just- can't do it now

I'm hopeless.

Yet I desire for you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

author's note here; yes it's been months, i apologize deeply. literally fucking school is devouring my existence and motivation rn not to mention I have a deadline to finish (cough March 29 cough) and I haven't even started it.

credits to Rick Montgemery for his astonishing songsssssssssss

[firefeelsfine]

HELLO pretty people!!!🌸 <3

The intro post is finally here...🫴🏻✨

ABOUT ME :- she/her | 8teen | Pisces | ENFJ -A | Girl's girl | certified panick mechine | super random | desi | hopeless romantic.🌼

Wanna know more about me, here you go:-

🌸 yepp, so my name is KEHKESHA which means Galaxy & The name originates from Persian language.

( I am truly in love with my name, so please try not to mess it up while interacting. )

🌸I am a die heart fan of SRK and RK.

( it's okay if you don't like them or the way they act...I respect your views nevertheless.)

🌸what do I mostly post?

Random shit, that's right. Relatable kinda shit , random funny looking pictures , memes and rants. In short everything that would show a sense of carelessness towards life and people. Because let's be honest , we all are struggling with stuff one way or another. So ig it's better to deal with that shit by making it somewhat random.

But but but, at times I may tap into my devdas zone, and post or reblog something kinda sad. ( Not negative or something devestating, just simply sad) Something that may or may not touch that hidden empty void in your heart.

🌸 there is nothing in this world that will ever come close to how much i love tulips 🌷🌷🌷

🌸I am not religious but very spritual.

🌸I respect every religion with all my heart. I am obsessed with Indian myths and history. I would really appreciate hearing anyone speaking of there culture, the traditions they follow, the facts and the myths, all of it together and everything in between as well. Feel free to reach out to me for the same.

🌸my favourite colour changes with my mood, today it's rose gold.

🌸I am seriously very chaotic. If my chaos makes sense to you, we're meant to vibe together.

🌸my favourite vibe:- midnight thoughts with Lo-fi Beats.

🌸 I have bunch of interest, here goes the list:-

• imtiyaz ali movies ( my go to )

• F.R.I.E.N.D.S ( nothing compares to that common! )

• music:- jagjit singh, Mukesh, kishore kumar songs are a bliss to me. Shreya Ghoshal, Mohit Chauhan, Arjit Singh top my playlist every now and then. The weekend, JVKE , arctic monkeys, Chris brown make my playlist near to perfect.

But but but...LANA DEL RAY & ISABEL LAROSA make me tap into my siren self way too quick.

• I am diagnosed with moderate anxiety and an undiagnosed mild ADHD awaits me.

•THE SCARLET WITCH from the MCU is my comfort character. ( It's weird ik)

• I like every existing shade of maroon.

🌸 relationship status :- in love- hate relationship with my life.

🌸I am in love with the idea of being in love.💌

🌸I get lost in my books every now & then ( I won't be posting anything about what I read , in this blog, because I cannot tolerate listening to anyone having an opinion on why they don't like a character that I may be obsessed with at that very point of time. I will get defensive and that won't end good . I know me)

🌸 recommendation for kdramas, songs , movies and tv shows of any kind are appreciated.

( need a recommendation from my end ? Do try watching • It's Okay to Not Be Okay • 2020 ‧• Romance • kdrama )

• I really cherish this drama because I feel it is very me coded. Don't forget to tell me your views on it if you do watch it.

🌷🌷🌷 I am obsessed with my govind, my protector, my bestie and my supreme support 🌷🌷🌷

NAGAR NANDJI NA LAAL...💌💌💌

Also, my two alltime favourite songs ( hindi)

My alltime favourites ( english)

If you're a creep who just wants to disturb people's mental peace first of all get a life, And second of all try not to try your dirty tricks on me. I am not a girl who will ignore or block you. I very well know some people , who would not only trace you but will make sure to get your life as miserable as possible. MARK MY WORDS !!!

PS :- My brother's bachelor's degree in criminal justice works like magic at times.

🌸 other than this , I am a really friendly person, so feel free to reach out to me.

Tons of love to my stunning mutuals <3 🫴🏻✨I adore you guys so damn muchhhhhh 💌

[sarai2272]

This regards the rant I just reblogged...

TW: MENTION OF P3DOPHILIA, MINORS IN DISTURBING SCENARIOS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

I can't believe that some people kiss Femit's ass and trying to justify her problematic and p3dophilic behavior...

First we go about the lolicon thingy, "She's fictional character so it's fi-" NO, IT FUCKING ISN'T! Femit's oc is younger than Göll (Femit is 307 years old)! With a mindset and a mentality of a little girl! And you dumbass is sayng that it's fine?! IF THE OC HAS A MINDSET AND A MENTALITY OF A CHILD, THEY SHOULD LOOK LIKE A CHILD!

"Tracing is illegal now?", my answer is that tracing was always illegal and can only be justified if you're a begginer who's art is ugly asf (me). Femit was a "proffetional artist", yet she traced and some of you are trying to justify it!

Another thing is tha she drew Okita and Göll having (you know what). And before you start with the typical excuses of: "But Sarai, their over 1800 years old-" SHUT YOUR ASS UP! Göll might be as old as Lü Bu, but she is in the body of a young teenage girl! Also, Okita is WAY younger than her! I know he looks like the least a 17-year-old, but he's only 180!!

Now, as if Okita and Göll being drawn doing the Devil's tango wasn't enough, Femit did it AGAIN, but this time with Hlökk and Jack the Ripper...IS SHE AND ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!-

Another and maybe the last thing to note is that YOU WHO KISS FEMIT'S ASS are using the Chile fires to "prove" that Femit is innocent...YOU'RE LITTERLY BAD NAMING THE ACTUAL VICTIMS OF THE FIRES! WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR BRAIN, IF YOU HAVE ONE?!

I think I'm just gonna end it here because I lost a bunch of braincells with this.

And if see in my askbox, comment section and DMs of your dumbasses defending her, I'll delete 'em and block you cuz I was also a vitcim of her behavior, she was litterly killing my motivation to do what I love (writting), though I mentioned it later on...

[lizhly-writes]

so anyway. since i have no idea at what point i'll get to talk about this info in my cnovel writing, let's talk some spoilers about mu qilian.

She was absolutely one of Chen Lihua's bullies in high school. Definitely not the worst, but coming across her certainly didn't make Chen Lihua's day any better. She did all of your stereotypical cnovel bully shit, and encouraged other people to do the same.

Then she caught Chen Lihua in the middle of a suicide attempt.

Now, if she was actually the worst of Chen Lihua's bullies, she probably would have egged Chen Lihua on. What actually happened was that she saved Chen Lihua and then spent like, 30+ minutes arguing with and yelling at Chen Lihua about the value of her own life.

Nobody knows this incident happened except for Mu Qilian and Chen Lihua.

Mu Qilian was pretty traumatized by this. She hadn't really figured the bullying was that big of a deal, but clearly it was a very big deal. She backed off on Chen Lihua and then proceeded to try and avoid her forever, because every time she sees Chen Lihua, she thinks about the fact that Chen Lihua almost died and it would have been all her fault.

Chen Lihua came away from this incident arguably a lot more mentally stable. You know, in a weird and fucked up way. Mu Qilian's rant at her sparked an epiphany that affected her entire life philosophy. She spent some time trying to process it (which yeah, definitely involved following Mu Qilian around for a bit), and then eventually started to behave pretty similarly to how she does in the story proper.

Also, from her point of view, Mu Qilian saved her life, gave her a pep talk so inspiring that it completely changed her worldview, and also, for some reason, started defending her in the school hallways? All while wanting nothing from Chen Lihua?

Yeah, she definitely develops an interest in Mu Qilian. A romantic interest? Possible. It's unclear. Whatever it is, Mu Qilian is pretty disturbed by it, because from her point of view, Chen Lihua is the girl that Mu Qilian almost drove to suicide, and it is fucked up to be buddy-buddy with her like nothing happened.

It seems important to mention, at this point, that Mu Qilian does not look... dissimilar to Jiang Mingxi.

[theerurishipper]

Did people forget how badly it went when ozai was firelord and how badly would've been if azula became the new firelord? Someone who ruled over their entire nation must be sound of mind which azula and ozai were far from. How well do they think that'd go for zuko if he was constantly around his abusive amd hateful sister? He doesn't have time to be visiting her or talk to her 24/7 when he has more on his plate and an entire nation to protect than a bunch of destructive and violent imperialists anyways who caused a forced occupation not too long ago. It's better for Zuko as a person and firelord to take care of his own mental health, that's what his friends would want anyways.

And on another note, I hate the idea of azula being a pacifist. You can't praise azula for being ruthless and being a villain and then say she's better than aang and the real pacifist. Azula represents the destructive side of fire and what happens to someone who's clung onto propaganda their whole life and then decided they deserved their own victims because they were abused. She's not supposed to be a good person. There's a reason why some people find her pretty disturbing amd all too relatable for a villain from a show aimed at kids.

Maybe she didnt kill everyone who may have died in that occpuation but she gleefully accompanied Ozai and ir doesn't matter that the only person she was shown killing on screen was aang - because he's a child and also the world's literal last hope. She has the blood and dignity of the earth kingdom on her hands

You're completely right. Actually, this reminds me of that one person who was ranting about how awful it was for Zuko to put Azula in an institution, and that he should have given her a position in his court as an advisor or something if he really cared about her. Like, really? The girl whose grand plan for ruling was to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground? The imperialist who wanted to continue the war and take over the world? The girl who wants the throne and her brother dead? She should be given a position of power? Really? Some people honestly have such rose-tinted glasses when it comes to looking at Azula that I feel like they have no idea what they're saying sometimes.

And Azula is not a pacifist. She's the opposite of a pacifist. She has no problems about using violence to get her way. She's the only person in the show to kill someone on-screen, and she enjoyed it when Zuko got burnt. She's violent. She's the farthest thing from a pacifist, and it's almost insulting that people want to claim such ridiculous things so that they can put her on some moral high ground. But yeah, you're completely right.

Thank you for your ask!

[yousei-no-mori]

Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san - Rant

I am currently watching season 2 and I have some thoughts (about both seasons).

First of all why did I start watching this anime? Erm... So I know what the target audience is, it's people who self insert as Naoto and want to date Nagatoro. As for me? Oh, it's the other way around. I think Naoto is cute and I want to bully him. I thought maybe my female friends were similar but the only friend I have who read the manga wants to make out with Nagatoro. Sorry, I forgot lesbians exist.

Uh, anyway yeah Naoto is cute and I want to be Nagatoro. Not sure if girls like me watching this was intended since these anime are usually made for lonely dudes, lol. Anyone else feel like me though?

The scrunkly.

Okay, so, my thoughts on season 1... Lemme check the episodes to bring back my memory a little bit, as I watched that to calm down from the stress that is social work during last Winter.

The first two episodes made me really scared to watch this series, for real. Nagatoro just straight up mentally tortured Naoto, and not in the hot way. I felt really bad for him because I know what it's like to be the shy nerd kid. Anyways at around episode 3, I think, Nagatoro starts showing her softer side more. And she hardcore crushes on Naoto.

The dynamic between Nagatoro and Naoto is really cute in my opinion, even if it is very simple. Nagatoro has her first crush because she finally found a guy that doesn't bore her to death but she doesn't know how to handle it so she bullies the fuck out of him. Naoto is pretty much the opposite? He doesn't really realize how much he likes Nagatoro sometimes and thinks he would rather not be around her. He tries to manage that by fighting her off in which classic anime romcom things happen. You know the "Holy crap you did something on accident, PERVERT!" thing, except it sometimes works really well. Maybe it's just because I think both of them are really cute, but I like when they have their little "Oh god, we both fucked up" moments.

Then there's the more obvious romance aspects and they're by far my favorite. The momens of honesty and the cute glances... Yep, they're adorable. I don't want to give away too much, sorry. Just know it's, in my opinion, the best thing in the series.

I don't care for the side characters by the way, but they can be enertaining when they point out how obviously both of our main characters are trying to "prove" that they don't like each other. They're the audience, the "just kiss already!" guys.

Also funny face cute. I like when she snaps. I like her. The cutesy. Okay no, for real, I love when Naoto and Nagatoro support or protect each other when they really need it. They can be a bitshitty towards each other sometimes but in the end they're actually kinda... healthy? Like Nagatoro is creepy but I love when the girl is a creep instad of the guy, since Naoto is actively watching out not to disturb Nagatoro. And how she will constantly accuse him of being a creep makes sense later when you realize that she's actually much worse than him, lol.

Okay let's get to season 2, since I keep using too many screencaps of that season anyway.

Oh boy, another anime studio took over with season 2 (now OLM, before it was Telecom) and it's very noticeable. The animation is stiff and sometimes just straight up doesn't move right, the art is a lot more bland, in season 1 there were a lot of beautiful warm colors and lineart, and the voice direction is very strange... That and also our main characters seem to regress a bit? Now being overly flustered over small things that they would've been fine with in season 1? I get it, they're supposed to be cute and awkward but it's the classic romcom regression...

I'm in the middle of watching season 2 and sadly the things I loved in season 1 just aren't that apparent anymore. It's still cute and I love Naoto and Nagatoro together, but I can hardly pay attention to that when Naoto is animated like Chargeman Ken.

^ little appreciation for the beautiful lighting in season 1!?

Anyway, Ijiranaide, Nagatoro-san will forever be my biggest guilty-pleasure comfort anime and I'm only a little ashamed.

Love ya

[hiemalstar]

niragi x reader - same thing, different font: disgusting kinks?

introduction

oh boy, this one is going to piss people off. hello tumblr, im back again to rant about alice in borderland; however, this time, it has to do with the fandom itself.  niragi x readers. lets talk about it. DISCLAIMER 1. i am aware that it is called fanfiction for a reason. this is just my opinion, and my personal views on the niragi fanfiction community.  2. todays post contains topics that may cause discomfort such as rape. now that youve read the disclaimer, lets begin.

fanfiction - what are the stereotypes?

if youve read the title, you can see this will be discussing some stereotypes. now, like i said in the disclaimer, i am aware that fanfiction can be anything, and i have nothing against those who write it; i write fanfiction too! its fun to do so. though, when it comes to niragi x readers, or any niragi fic in general, there is absolutely no fucking differences. same thing, different font. to be more specific, the same reoccurring smutfic keeps coming up. niragi is at the beach, female y/n walks in, niragi fucks around w her, he rapes her and y/n gets off on it. oh my gods i gagged a little writing that last part. 

though, the rape is not what this section is about. that will tie in later, so keep it in mind. the stereotype is a pretty average thing to find; if you try to find a flufffic of niragi, you will find likely nothing. if you look for a niragi x m!reader fic, you will probably find at most three to four posts. the same thing.  the stereotype of niragi fanfics encourages the stereotype of niragi himself and his characters image. because most of these writers try to make it as accurate as possible to the media, it usually comes across as “aggressive bitch edges girl and she likes it”. what a headline guys! 

now if youve been on my page before, you already know i have a strong opinion on niragi and i think hes a pretty complex character that people dont pay attention to enough.  with a stereotyped fanfic around a stereotyped character with a controversial fanbase you end up with something like this. though, at one point, i started to notice that people writing these fanfics were not writing this out of the intentions of something i would have, like enjoying his character outside of stereotypes. no honey, i was wrong.

rape “kink” ; the ongoing interest in niragi fanfics

trigger warning this section is absolutely fucking vile and disgusting. scroll away if you find yourself disturbed with this topic.

heres where the rape ties in. the majority of these writers were NOT into niragis character because they see beyond his stereotypes, but because of his actions and stereotypes.thats right guys! this majority of writers im talking about are into rape. thats right! rape! the thing that traumatizes and even kills people!! i even saw some creators of niragi fanfics containing rape post or note on their work that “if you dont have a rape kink, what are you even doing looking at niragi smut??”  i am not a rape victim, but i am an sa victim. you do NOT want to be raped or sa'd. it is not erotic at all. it ruins you and has long term effects on your relationships and self.  please, if you are someone claiming to have a ‘rape kink’, i am begging you, to get help. this is not a kink, and i swear it has to be some sort of mental disorder, like people who are attracted to serial killers. 

conclusion

the reason why we have fanfics like this iss because of people identifying like this.  please be sure to share your opinion; i know this one wasnt exactly the most detailed, but lets be honest... i shouldnt even have to say this in general. 

anyway, considering the topic, how would u guys feel if i made niragi fanfics on ao3 outside of his stereotypes??? just an idea, if youd like to see that, lmk :) this is hiemal, signing outbye guys, make sure to leave suggestions!! <3

[jazeejae]

An AntiFan Named GrumpGirl

To BTSARMY:

Whoever this Grumpy Girl is, wants total attention, and we are giving it to her. Grumpy Girl reminds me of Donald J Trump who makes things up as she lives in her own world of lies.  I don’t doubt that she is one of thousands of conservative Christians who reside in the United States.  This person has many followers, and her hate is pitting fans against each other, and we need to be careful.  Taekook is real she says… is like saying the Corona Virus is fake! Stay strong she says to others as Donald Trump has said to his followers as they swarmed to the United States Capital with insurrection in mind.  They were there to cause harm and she is here to cause harm to BTSArmy fans.  A lot of people like Grumpy Girl think we hate Taehyung in which we don’t.  I see that “We Love you Taehyung” is trending but it is there for different reasons.  Her words tell me she is a homophobic pretending to be a Taekooker and she is using who she thinks is the weakest link in BTS and that is Jimin to disrupt the fandom. If she can’t utilize Jimin, she goes after Bang Si Hyuk. Making a sick and mental inuendo of sexuality between Jimin and Bang Si Hyuk. That is criminal and it is called Sexual Harassment.  Grumpy Girl is not as dumb but dumber and her criteria is to cause harm.  Her manipulations is working on those who believe in the friendship of Taehyung and Jungkook.  Who is this hurting, none other but the Macknae line of BTS.  Her target is not the fans of BTS but BTS themselves.  She is using the fans to separate and divide the BTS 7 members or causing such an effect to decrease their popularity.  It’s called propaganda! What is “Propaganda” you ask? Propaganda is the dissemination of information—facts, arguments, rumors, half-truths, or lies—to influence public opinion. Deliberateness and a relatively heavy emphasis on manipulation distinguish propaganda from casual conversation or the free and easy exchange of ideas.  If you go against her propaganda, well guess what, we start getting her rantings of cursing, deep voice negative connotations, and arguments to invoke the crowd.  Same thing Donald J Trump uses to cause a negative action among MAGA.  We as BTS Army worldwide need to get Grumpy Girl off her pedestal by mass reporting her, copying and pasting her negative innuendos onto an email.  If anyone can put a draft email, it should have links to her social media platforms.  BigHit Music has let us know they are getting the emails, but they get thousands of emails which can cause back log of complaints.  Also, if we start blocking her, it eliminates her viewing numbers.  She is desperate and that is why she is now using a program like Zoom to interact her propaganda to those who will listen.  There are a lot of mentally disturbed people out there and that is why I advise not to engage with her negativity.  If you do not know the email address it is protect@bighitmusic.co.kr. 

Sincerely,

Colorado BTS Army

[dahliathederanged]

Kleptomaniac

The unstoppable urge to steal.

Hi, my name is Irene and I’m a kleptomaniac. I’ve been struggling with it since I was a teenager. I would go to local stores and steal whatever I could. Then after the rush wore off, I would dispose of everything I had. I didn’t actually want or need what I was stealing. I just liked the excitement it gave me. I got in trouble for it and my parents immediately sent me to therapy. After years of working on my mental health, I stopped stealing completely.

Then I saw a purse.

I was walking home from work when I saw an unattended purse on a table outside of a cafe. I could see the person’s phone and wallet just sitting there. I don’t know what came over me. I thought I was already past this part of my life. But I couldn’t help myself, I had to take it. I walked over to the table and pretended to drop something. When I was getting up, I deftly took the phone and walked away briskly. The owner of the purse came out of the cafe with her coffee and food and sat down, not realizing I just swiped one of her most important belongings.

God, I missed the rush.

I practically ran to the train station thinking I was going to get caught. I was buzzing with excitement the entire ride. When I got to my stop, I spotted a trash can. I walked over to throw the phone away but somehow I just couldn’t. For some reason, taking the phone wasn’t enough. I had to see what was inside it. I debated with myself for a bit before ultimately deciding to pocket the phone and go home.

You’d be surprised how easy it is to unlock a secured device. All I had to do was Google. After a bit of tweaking, I finally got it open.

The first stop was the album. I started from the very bottom. It contained what you would expect: selfies, food pictures, animals, and memes. Nothing too exciting. I scrolled up a bit and I saw pictures of a guy, probably her boyfriend. I scrolled up further and started noticing something. She had dozens of pictures of the same guy but no pictures of them together. I continued scrolling and saw she had candid photos of him outside buildings, out on the street, in bars, and whatnot. I started feeling uneasy. Scrolling even further, I saw pictures of him through what looked like the window of an apartment. The last picture was of him with another girl. It looked like it was pulled from his Instagram.

“What the fuck,” I said as if I would stop prying.

The next stop was the messages. I scrolled through and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Then at the very top, I saw her texts with a guy named Jared. Or rather, her texts to Jared. She sent him walls of text, proclaiming her undying love one minute and then threatening to kill him the next. He never responded apart from one text saying, “Leave me alone, Meadow.”

To say that I was uneasy is a gross understatement. I was petrified. But my dumb curious ass decided to continue my exploration.

I checked Meadow’s call history. She called Jared two hundred and fifty-six times over the past three days. All calls were missed. Then I checked her email. She had dozens if not hundreds of emails sent to Jared saying more of the same; pledges of undying love and threats of violence. Checking her notes, I found: love spells, boyfriend manifestations (whatever that means), and the most disturbing grocery list of all time:

Knife

Duct Tape

ZipTies

Axe

Plastic Tubs

Hydrofluoric Acid

Not only that, but I found a long, all-caps rant about “Jenny” (Jared’s girlfriend I’m assuming) and how he was cheating on her with Jenny, how Jenny was in the way of their perfect love, etc. Just out of sheer curiosity, I checked her Spotify and her most played song is Keep Awake by 100 Monkeys. Lovely.

Suffice it to say, I was freaked the fuck out.

What freaked me out more was the sudden notification that popped up. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard it. With much trepidation, I shakily opened the notification. It was an email Meadow sent to herself. It read:

“I know you have my phone.”

x

[marigoldparadise17]

[Chapter. 2] Lulu Casher

Warning: viewer discretion advised, not proofread, mentions of sexual assault, gore, disturbing thoughts and images, mentions of suicide, mentions of cheating.

Description: Lulu doesn’t like the night, it brings her to a dark place every single time without fail.

The sun shined brightly amongst all this chaos. The sun it’s rays down into my eyes, giving me a rude awakening.I sat up, groaning. “I miss the bed I slept in already.” I muttered, Stretching my poor stiff back.I leaned back on my arms, looking up at the sky. “I wonder, is there actually safety beyond the city?” I asked, out loud.

“Figures.” I didn’t expect an answer. Pushing myself off the floor and looked off the rooftop.

“Another day of hell, everyday I wake up and hope it’s just a long dream. But nope.” I jumped down, landing roughly as i braced my impact by bending my knees. “Never do that at home!-“ I winced at my not so soft landing. “Ah, shit.” I looked over myself, making sure I had little to No injuries, after I ensured I wasn’t hurt, I planned my next trip.

I looked over to the school building that was quite a distance away. “I still need a weapon.” I stretched the rest of my limbs, “And that’s a long way to go.” I walked at least 6 miles before stopping in front of the school gate. “Damn…Those poor kids, they still had a life ahead of them and they got turned into…”

I turned away from the sight, letting out a sigh. “May all your souls Rest In Peace.” I said, before searching for a new way that didn’t require me to fight for my life. I walked around the school, finding the back gate. “Man, I haven’t been in a school building in a while.” I stepped through the broken gate. I heard a gasp, turning my head, I saw a child. I stood like a deer in headlights.

“Who are you?!” The child yelled, I immediately ran and covered his mouth. “Shh-I won’t hurt you, but keep quiet. Unless you want the Spectral ‘patrolling’ the front to hear you?” The boy shook his head quickly.

I took my hand off his mouth, introducing myself. “I’m Lulu Casher, nice to meet you. Now who are you little one?” The young boy hesitated for a little before speaking, “My name is Dion. I’m 9.” I nodded my head. “Why are you out here?” There a group that took me in, we stay here in the school building. The older ones usually leave me here while they go scavenging for food and other supplies.” I stared in disbelief. ‘They left a child- a defenseless child- alone?!’ That raised alarms in my head.

“How about i keep you company until they get back?” I ask, holding my hand out. “Really?!” I nodded as he took my hand and started to pull me toward the door to get into the school. I had little resistance as i let him pull me along, meanwhile, he ranted about the group. ‘It seems I had to be careful around Lottie. Cautious one, I can’t blame her in this scenario, it’s best to be that way.’ “Can you tell me more about Lottie, Dion?”

“I sure can! Lottie is nice when you get to know her!” Th enjoy looked down in sadness. “But Kaden always uncomfortable around her, she had told me she had a crush on Kaden!” He explained. “How old is she?”

“She’s 29!” He said, “And how old is Kaden?“

“He’s 15!” I froze at Dion’s words. ‘That is illegal on all accounts. No wonder Kaden’s so damn uncomfortable around Lottie, the girl is a sexual predator, none the less a pedo-‘ Dion’s little voice snapped me out of my thoughts, “What’s wrong?” He asked, showing concern. “Nothing.” I looked around and found a crowbar on the ground. I walked over and picked it up. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing. Just a little surprised that’s all.” I had a little belt on my hip that I secured the crowbar in.

I made sure it wouldn’t be a hindrance. “Kaden always complains about Lottie.”

‘And for good reason.’ I looked into the classroom before Little Dion came to a stop. “This is where we stay.” ‘Classroom 215.’ I read mentally, keeping note of it. Dion opened the door. I walked in behind him, shutting the door. “How about you take a rest?”

“They told me I needed to watch the place.”

“Dion, you’re still a child that needs sleep.” I put my hands on his shoulders. “You get some well deserved sleep. I’ll keep watch, okay?” Dion nodded, making way to the makeshift bed on the floor. Laying down, “You won’t let them get me, right?” He asks, looking up at me. I shook my head, “I won’t. I promise.” Dion closed his eyes at more reassuring words.

Some time had passed before the door to the classroom had opened, I turned my head slightly in the direction. I was checking up on Dion. “Who are you and why are near him?!” A women who had blond hair, held him back from lunging at me. I stood up, raising my hands in defense. “Just a friendly person-“

“Damn right you are! As if I’d believe that!” Kaden yelled, ripping himself out of the woman’s grasp. “Dion!” The woman, I assumed to be Lottie -from the description Dion gave me- tried to grab his arm. I watched as he physically recoiled from her touch, moving to put distance between himself and her.

“How about we talk this out instead of yelling and risk waking Dion?” I offered. “Answer me first, you bitch.” Kaden turned his attention back to me, walking toward me. “Woah!” I stepped back. “Such colorful words for a 15 year old, but not uncommon.” Kaden looked surprised, stopping in his tracks. “I’m Lulu, really just a friendly person.”

Lottie then stepped in and pushed my. “Please, who are we to believe you! You stood over Dion with a crowbar!” “I will admit, a little offended to think I would harm a child.” Lottie scoffed at my words.

“Who knows what you could’ve done Dion!” I grabbed Lottie and covered her mouth. “Cover your ears child.” I commanded, as Kaden reluctantly followed my demand. I turned back to Lottie “Shut up, you raging whore with more STDs than I can count. You keep yelling, you’re going to wake Dion.”

I threw her from my hold, “Accuse me all you want, but the least you could do is tone it down.” Lottie gasped as she heard my words. She sneered at me as The woman from before intervened. “Scarlett Carter. Sorry about Lottie-“

“It’s fine. I’d be just as cautious. I just want her to keep it down.” Scarlett nodded in understanding, “We’ll be back.” All of them went outside the classroom, dragging Lottie along. While I shook Dion awake. “Hm?” The boy rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Your group is back, which mean I have to go.” I ruffled his his hair and jumped out the window. They were on the first floor but somehow I still had a rough landing. I got away from the room by walking into the forest nearby.

Already hearing Spectrals roaming around. “At least I have a decent weapon now, so I guess I’ll be fine.” I mutter, following the road trail. Soon enough, the more I kept walking the more the sun went down and night fell upon once again. I find that me and the sun get along better than me and the moon, how ironic. “Nice to see you again. How’s it been old friend?” The moon seemed to glare down at me from high above.

I never expect an answer, I never do. I just can’t handle being alone, the silence is deafening when your alone with nothing but the sounds of Spectrals around you. What am I supposed to do? I wanted to kill myself the moment all of this started. My partner cheated the day of the apocalypse. My family no where to be found and it feels like I’ve been around the whole damn city and I still can’t find them.

It’s like the world hates me, it wants to see me suffer. I keep telling myself that they’re alive and found safety, but I know it’s not true. In the back of my head, I see the images of their mangled corpses in the deepest part of my brain. It was a disturbing sight, I couldn’t get the image out of my head for days. Their eyes popping out of their sockets, their jaws broken in ways I couldn’t understand.

My mothers body, twisted in an unnatural way, a way where you could see her insides clearly falling out. My dads body hanging from what was left of the ceiling structure, by his damn guts. Sick fucks. Then my little little sister. Body completely destroyed, mauled. I almost couldn’t tell it was her, limbs everywhere but her body. Her insides scattered-

I hunched over, gagging at the thought of it again. I vomited. ‘Breathe in, breathe out!’ I told myself, crying silently as I continue to vomit.

[mask131]

I was listening to this beautiful video-tribute to "Twisted Nerves" and it made me want to post about something I need to rant about. About AHS, about its downfall, about the mediocrity of "Apocalypse", about how AHS literaly betrayed and sold itself out in the most toxic way.

I will not make this post long or extensive, because the elditch gods know there is a LOT to cover with the artistic AND moral decay of AHS, so I will remain on the point this video triggered. Tate Langdon.

In the first season of American Horror Story, that was later named by fans "Murder House" but which originally was just "American Horror Story", Tate Langdon is a dangerous and toxic person. It is the entire point of the show: he starts out, to the other characters (Ben, Violet) and to the viewers as a mentally deranged but still charismatic, likeable and engaging character. As we discover more about him, we learn of the sad and painful parts of his backstory, of all the factors that encouraged him in his downfall to darkness, we see him do morally reprehensible things and criminal actions, but we also are given the somewhat understandable (in their twisted logic) justifications for these actions. We see him as a misguided lover, as a pained teenager, as a neglected child, as someone in despair for some sort of love, as the product of familial trauma and untreated mental unbalance coupled with the nefarious supernatural aura of the "Murder House" itself...

... but then comes the later reveals, and the later twists, and that's where we see who Tate Langdon truly is. That's when the viewer, and the characters around Tate, lose their sympathy and their pity for him as his own wicked ways and open hypocrisy come to the light. Spoilers alert for anyone who has not watched AHS still and wants to keep the reveals fresh but - we learn that he carefully and coldly raped the mother of the girl he was in love with, we learn that he always knew that he was dead and that he was a ghost - meaning not only he kept lying to his own family and to those that tried to help him, but also that many of his grand displays of tears and self-hatred (like the one he had in front of his own victims) were entirely fake and improvised. That's why Violet, despite loving him, has to reject him, and that's why Ben sternly chases him away: because by the end of the series, the audience is meant to understand that Tate is, indeed, a dangerous sociopath, a person who will emotionally manipulate people to get out of trouble or obtain what he wants, who will lie even to those he cherishes the most, and who - when he is forced to be honest - is cold and remorseless towards the vilest of his actions.

And the dangerosity of Tate, the black heart beating in his chest, is already indicated by the music theme chosen for him. The theme of Twisted Nerves, a movie precisely about a dangerous, psychotic, disturbed murderer who looks like a charming, angelic, innocent cherub of a man-boy. There was a deleted scene in the first season, during Tate's "dream sequence" of shooting the school, where he was supposed to see blood pouring down the staircases of his highschool in an homage to the elevators of blood in Kubrick's The Shining. It was ultimately removed (can still be found in the bonuses), but it would have driven another parallel to a different horror character: Jack Torance from The Shining. Another man seemingly compelled into doing horrible things and hurting those he love by ghosts within a cursed building... but Jack Torance clearly was disturbed and abusive before getting into the haunted hotel, something unhealthy lurking behind his seemingly nice and peaceful facade. The same way Tate's charm is meant to be a lure, and while ghosts did influence his crimes, they still just played on a darkness already there rather than planting some form of evilness inside of him.

[The first season of AHS also came out the same year as "We Need to Talk about Kevin", and the titular character of Kevin needs to be compared to Tate due to presenting both cases of dangerous teenage mass-murderers fueled in their motifs and actions by a toxic relationship with their mother.]

The first season of AHS is really NOT subtle in showing the viewer how evil Tate truly is, deep down. From his actions literaly leading to the birth of THE ANTICHRIST and a prophesized end of the world, to his final shot being side-by-side with Hayden in the darkness of the house. Hayden and Tate are meant to be parallels, disturbed and toxic lovers of the father and daughter of a same family, and the two threats to Vivien in different ways. If the show's subtle displays aren't enough for you, interviws with the showmakers and actors insisted on the fact that Hayden and Tate were "the two masterminds of the ghosts" inside the house - a sentence which did confuse the fans at the time, but that in retrospective makes sense.

Tate, and Hayden later, are the only two ghosts within the Murder House that are fully connected and knowledgeable about the inner workings of its dark power. They are not trapped reliving their life over and over again, they are aware that they are dead (though Tate pretends he is not), they even use quite "deep" ghost powers to assert a form of dominance above other entities (Tate being the most talented at this, as we see him for example use the Infantata as a weapon in the pilot episode)... They are disturbed and dangerous individuals, and by this fact they seem to enter into a strange symbiosis with the house itself and whatever dark force animates the building. The fact the House is implied to have literaly used Tate as its main tool, or "avatar", to perform its final goal of creating some sort of demon-baby, shows how deeply connected he is to the House's evil, how he seemes to have fully embraced it, how the darkness of the curse filled him or matched perfectly his own darknes...

And that's where things went wrong. Cut to American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

AHS Apocalypse is one of the bad seasons. It feels like a pastiche of itself, almost like a parody of AHS itself, especially since it attempts to recreate the world of its earlier seasons, but in a rushed way, with a lot of the original staff in charge of the visuals and set-building gone (see the video I shared earlier about the visual decline of AHS). "Apocalypse" was literaly first teased by Ryan Murphy as "Murder House and Coven crossover", breaking furthermore the original rule of AHS of not making direct sequels and always exploring different universes. What I want to highlight however is that "Apocalypse" was LITERALY a season designed to be fan-baiting, fan-service, fan-pleasing. It was a product made to be sold to the fans of AHS rather than being an actual AHS season.

And it was not made to be sold to any AHS fans, oh no! It was made to be sold to a very specific demographic. To the younger, teenage, mainly female, audience that got introduced to AHS with "Coven", a "younger" generation of AHS fan who most related and loved "Coven" and "Murder House", and were into the show for something similar - dark humor, witchy aesthetic, edgy teenage romance, angsty teenage drama... So many moments in Apocalypse screamed so hard "MEME ME! I'm a bitch-slaying line, MEME ME!" as opposed to the actual moments from Coven that became memed but still were written in-universe, in-character, and perfectly flowing with the narrative... "Apocalypse" was very clearly not made for the more mature audience that for example leaned more into "Asylum" and was more interested in the cinematic techniques, the homages to the horror cinema, a more serious horror, and the talent of famous actors.

And the handling of the Tate and Violet romance in "Apocalypse" showed so well how this season was made to please fans and feel like a fanfiction come to life. Because that's a fucking bad fanfiction, that even outrights contradicts the worldbuilding of earlier seasons or worse, twists it to fit in a forced happy ending that leads to absolutely toxic reading of earlier seasons. Because that's literaly what the "Murder House" episode of AHS was about - having a fan-favorite (Madison Montgomery) stroll into Murder House, literaly blow some sort of drug into the face of Violet, and offering a happy ending to her ghost as she reunites with a now all good and nice Tate (played by an Evan Peters a bit too old for the role now) and they become a wholesome couple... With the official explanation that all of Tate's evil was actually caused by the house's demonic forces possessing him, and it all went away into his baby, aka the Antichrist, so now he is good and pure and should be forgiven for everything. Farewell careful nuances and complex character portraits of the early seasons!

...

Why did they do that? The answer is so openly simple, so much in front of our eyes. To please the fans (or rather the specific type of fans) who have asked for this for so long and written years of fanfictions about this. Because Tate Langdon is still a sexy, dramatic, Romantic (in the historical sense of the term) lover, a lot of the teenage audience of AHS identified with Violet, Evan Peters was a male sex icon of his time, and a lot of young viewers took "Murder House" at face value and first-degree without any nuance. That Tate is a serial killer, a rapist and a sociopath only adds fuel to the fire, as Tate was also partially inspired by the Columbine shooters and we KNOW how many fangirls these two have. As a result, a true massive dissonance was formed between what the show told you (the final episodes of Murder House clearly showed you everyone rejecting Tate and him joining the only other character as disturbed and dangerous as him, Hayden) and what the fans saw (it's a tragic love story, and Violet is too mean, and the show just robs us of our deserved happy ending, and poor Tate is a little darling we need to cherish).

Most of them got introduced to the "Whistling Song" by AHS and think of it as just a cool song - they don't understand that it is meant to be a sound-clue and cultural-clue to the audience about Tate's true nature, the same way the reason Coppola's Dracula's opening theme is used for the flashbacks to the Montgomery times is to point out to the audience that a crime against God/nature is about to be committed out of despair, and that for this act against all things holy a monster is going to be born. These people sought and seeked a reading of the romance between Violet and Tate as just... 90's "Ghost" meets Romeo and Juliet. Completely missing the fact that Violet and Tate are a perverted version of the story of Romeo and Juliet.

AHS had already capitalized on the VioletXTate story, while making it more "positive" (as much as anything can be positive on AHS): with the Zoe and Kyle story. Interviews and commentaries by the writers and showmakers openly and frankly confirmed this: they said, repeatedly, that they wrote Zoe and Kyle purposefully to mirror and echo Violet and Tate. To bring back a similar chemistry between the two actors, so as to drag a bit something for those that loved Murder House, while also playing in a more straightforward way the "Romeo and Juliet" angle to their couple as more positive and *cough cough* "healthy" *cough* "star-crossed lovers" (Kyle even being qualified as a "Romeo" character). But these two were NOT Tate and Violet, so the bad fans (because I'm going to say it, they're bad fans) were not satisfied, and by the time of Apocalypse Ryan Murphy had started to go a bit morally bankrupt and so he decided to literaly give the fans what they asked even though it gave the counter-message to what Murder House stood for.

Just have a bit of dust spat in your face by a random stranger, and you'll see, you can go back with your emotionally manipulative boyfriend! The guy you like is a serial killer? Just have him make a baby with your mom and you'll have a happy ending!

And this little thing is just the TIP of the iceberg when it comes to a LOT, a LOT of problems related to Murphy productions. I could go on so many different directions from this single example, but I will just mention two. On one side, you see this later habit of AHS of justifying, glorifying, excusing or morally "washing" characters NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKED and who are meant to be pathetic monsters. Tate went from one of the main villains of Murder House to being a sort of wholesome side-characters? I see this a prefiguration of the HUGE huge fuck-up they did with the character of Richard Rimarize in 1984. Taking a real-life serial killer that had only very recently passed away, and depict him on screen as justified in his insane belief and disturbing modus operandi, by painting him as some sort of evil super-powered messiah, instead of just the repulsive killer and rapist and scum that he was? This is sick. Like puking sick. But it is one step away from romanticizing Tate, from an angelic-faced sociopath to an ideal Romeo-like teenager, with the difference being that by 1984 Murphy had started to think romanticizing or glorifying real-life monsters was a cool thing to do.

Or rather, to be fair, I do not think Ryan Murphy intended to glorify these real-life monsters. The feeling I have from watching his shows is that he is the kind of person who doesn't see where he should draws the line when making real-life events fiction, and who imposes himself no moral limit when it comes to using historical figures as tools for a narrative or characters for a drama. He thinks he can pick-up real-life monsters like Ramirez and play them around like a puppet in a puppet-show with no consequences. The glorification and romanticization of it all only comes later, as a side-effect of his carelessness.

Which comes to my second point: "Dahmer". His Dahmer show did the mistake of hiring Evan Peters as Dahmer, to play him right after "American Horror Story", where Peters' main job was to play the seducing face, the sympathetic character, or the evil but still pleasing murderer. Plus, it was on AHS that Peters got his main fanbase and the fangirls, and that's where he became a sex-icon of teenagers of the 2010s. So to have him under another Ryan Murphy production, quite connected to AHS (Dahmer also appears in AHS), and playing DAHMER himself... already that was a bad move. No matter how much you want to "focus on the victims" and show how much of a monster Dahmer was, if you deliberately chose an actor known to make monsters sympathetic and who has gathered a large fanbase who treat him as a male pin-up... You are bound to undermine yourself at best, to unveil your hypocrisy at worst. Because you should know people will not come to this show to watch the suffering of the victim - they will come to see Evan Peters as Dahmer, and to thirst over him cosplaying an actual serial killer and rapist.

And there are many more things to say about the many, MANY problems surrounding "Dahmer", and the treatment of historical characters in later seasons of AHS in general... But I think this post is already long enough as it is, so we'll leave it right there! Unlike AHS, I know at which point I need to stop.