#rant over hahaha

[moldy-flowers]

Naruto au where Jiriya comes back to Konoha to adopt Naruto like he promised to do but somewhere along the way they get Tsunade back in the village and Tsunade becomes Sasukes caretaker (She adopts him but neither are comfortable calling eachother mother and son yet so they stick with "The Lady in my house who cooks bad" and "the brat who doesn't appreciate good meals when he sees them")

Then at some point when Naruto and Sasuke are genins Jiriya and Tsunade get married and now Naruto and Sasuke have to live together. There's a really emotional scene of Sasuke having to say goodbye to his old home and its like "oh god its really all over they're not coming back I'm not coming back I can't just leave them behind I need to let go but I just can't do it" and Tsunade calls Sasuke her son for the first time and he totally doesn't cry!!!

Forest of death but Sasuke Sakura and Naruto already know who Orochimaru is, Sasuke knows absolutely not to trust him so the curse mark doesn't really affect him too horribly but it does lead for a lot of tension in the group. Also after being the girlboss she was born to be Sakura decides she can't be protected anymore and bc Tsunade is like, right there she asks her if she can be trained and Tsunade says yes obv. Hiruzen dies purely because i hate that guy but Orochimaru also dies to Jiriya and Tsunade also because I really really hate him too.

Theres the time when Kisame and Itachi visit Konoha and Itachi hears Naruto refer to Tsunade as his mom and Sasuke as his brother and hes GOT to know what's going on so he spies on them and learns that Sasukes been adopted but he sees this moment of Tsunade announcing she's pregnant (what a shocker she was 🤏 that close to never having to worry about pregnancy ever again but Jiriya just couldn't keep it in his pants for another 2 years, the manwhore.) And itachi sees Sasuke realising he's gonna be an older brother and being super happy about it saying he's gonna be the best big brother ever (Hades hangs his laundry on the bar its so low all he's gotta do is not kill everyone and he's already better than Itachi) and Itachi is like "ah man but how's he gonna get stronger there's no hatred in there i need him to do my suicide for me!!!" But Jiriya noticed he was there and confronts him a little later but see Jiriyas a little smarty pants and has been living in Konoha for years and always knew there was something fishy with the massacre and danzo so Jiriya just bluffs his way to the truth (Phoenix is that you?) And he's like "look Sasukes ur brother but he's my son now, he has enough nightmares and enough trauma and enough trust issues to last him a lifetime feck off and if you wanna die so bad then kill yourself and don't use your brother as a tool for ur suicide" <- I may be projecting a bit but ANYWAYS Itachi and Kisame have to leave Konoha bc Naruto is under watch by Kakashi, Tsunade and Jiriya and they are NAWT winning that fight.

Skip to shippuden era Sasuke v/ Itachi fight but Itachis been skipping out on his meds!! (He did it because he's a nerd loser guy who thinks "oh man sasuke isn't angry or filled with hatred and overall living a really terrible and unfufilling life he's probably so weak i need to stoop down to his level") Oh no so hes really super sick and Sasuke has picked up a lot from Tsunade so he knows Itachis time is near and although Sasuke really wants Itachi dead he's like "fuck it, dude you absolutely ruined my life and gave me trauma I'm never ever going to recover from sometimes I still wonder if my friends or family are going to turn around and kill me do you know how fucked that is why the hell did you even do that I don't want some bullshit excuse tell me" like he absolutely chews that loser (derogatory) out and Itachi is like, "kk ill tell u everything" and Sasuke is RUINED and he takes like a long 30 minutes of silence between the two just sitting there for Sasuke to go like "Itachi, I don't... think I forgive you. But I understand why you did it. I would have done it too" And its very emotional!! That moment is all Itachi needs bc he was sort of barely clinging onto life as it is and now that he's got peace he can finally die and they share a really sweet moment before he goes :(

And when Sasuke gets home and cries, (this time he can admit it cause he's a big boy now and understands it's okay to feel) to Tsunade he calls her his mother for the first time and its so ahaishahabnabsjsjnd

Anyways they all lived happily ever after the end no wars no nothing all over bye bye

[namethat-i-oughttohavetoldyou]

Thinking about that one time two Germans joined a (majorly American) discord server I was in and I joked about 'germanizing' the server and like. flooding it with Schnitzel and compound nouns or something similar, and another member didn't wait a millisecond to make a Nazi joke. I was too polite to call her out on it back then but... not very cool/hot/megastar/megawatt of her in retrospect.

[destiny-in-the-universe]

The Promised Neverland x RC9GN

So, since I am on a temporary break from asks- I decided to go ahead and post some more coherent thoughts on the crossover literally no one except ONE person was interested in (/lh). I didn't expect the post to gain even the slightest bit of traction, so seeing someone with the same type of rotting interest actually made my day-

I actually wanted to focus on what came before Randy had even been born (aka what the deal with 'the Ninja' is because this idea barely makes an ounce of sense), so without much further ado- let's continue!

The First Ninja is meant to parallel William Minerva/James Ratri. He was a descendant of the original founders which had been involved in 'the Promise' and originally he didn't fully question their behavior, it was more so along the lines of "if I pretend everything is fine, I won't have to acknowledge how I feel about it", but as things kind of escalated- he couldn't bring himself to just sit aside and ignore it. At some point, he flat out rebelled (not that anyone was aware of what he'd begun to do-) and was leaving behind evidence to alert the farms orphanages about what was going on.

Now if you've been following my content at all, you know I talk about the Norisu 9 every so often- I like to think they were also involved and contributed in different ways to the first wave of resistance. The First Ninja is still a warrior in this crossover and I like to think he supplied weapons, things that would harm the demons but going against their leader was a lot harder than he thought it would

(The leader who, of course, is the Sorcerer)

Finja fought bravely, but as punishment for his disobedience- he was subject to watching his entire clan die before his eyes. Forced to live with the guilt, he broke off from the resistance (at least that was the agreement- he would continue working for the demons until someone else took over his role upon death) and went back to the life he held previously. However unbeknownst to the Sorcerer, Finja had left behind something important: the Nomicon.

A tome that contained tunnels and maps of the Demon World, the key to paradise. It held the bunker with a supply of weapons and arsenal, and everything- Finja had entrusted a demon known as “the Messenger” to hand it down, but there was one problem to this plan: who would carry on the mantle?

A decision was made for it to be left in the least likely of locations: one of the farms.

The Messenger had unique powers- allowing them to find the next “Ninja”, someone who possessed specific traits and could carry on what Finja had started. Years came to pass, each with varying levels of success (a few managed to cause a new wave of resistance, one unfortunate kid got adopted- and the rest, well, who knows what became of them). First Ninja’s name was forgotten over the years and the book would continue to be handed down.

The First Ninja is bound to the book- whether this makes in the original Promised Neverland canon is irrelevant, because well, I make the rules (/lh). I like to think he has the ability to communicate with the current holder of the book, but unlike the RC9GN canon- things work a little differently.

He communicates with the current ‘Ninja’ via dreams- sending ominous signs and continuing to hand them lessons but there isn’t any ‘shloomping’ into the Nomicon. Things just work a little differently, if anything-

The book is eventually left in the hands of Randy, but that is a story for another day.

Finja was left with immense survivor’s guilt- knowing he had failed his siblings, he had failed the children, everyone who wanted the nightmare of the Promise to end. He lost the hope things would ever right themselves. His actions came with unfortunate consequences, and in the years leading up to his death- he isolated himself from everyone. Though his allies attempted to honor his wishes, even if he didn’t know about what they had done.

(I might tie Rei Izumi into this, but we’ll see-)

His legacy continues and for one particular boy, and the people he cares about, everything is going to change. Sooner than they think.

Written as a partial gift to @thesoundofmadness! Also because I am just fixated on this universe lol, but these are my thoughts for now! More will be dropped eventually, hope you enjoy the rest of your day loves!

[aauroralightss]

i love reading peoples' opinions on trigun but sometimes i will see an opinion that is so like. bewilderingly wrong it actually makes me doubt my own interpretation of the source material

[futurewife]

so we can have a bonkers w.olverine horny revival whenever but only 10 people at any time want to fuck c.able. ok maybe I have special eyes. jk where is his special moment

[ferncloud]

hmm i wonder if tumblr user ferncloud likes ferncloud...

/.\ MAYBE...

[just-a-fluffy-knight]

imissmyboysimissmyboysimissmyboysimissmyboysimissmyboysimissmy

Disney if you don’t give them back to me RIGHT NOW.

[roseband]

voters in the bottom 3/4ths of household incomes voting to give me and my husband a tax break while raising their own:

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel like at least several times a month, I have a random insane revitalization of my love for The Smiths. Not that I ever stop loving them, but I'll listen to some song and then suddenly fall into this pit of just deep, intense love for their music again where I can't stop listening to their music on repeat and watching live performances and looking at pics like AAAAAHHHHHH WHY IS THEIR MUSIC SO GOOOD?????? WHY IS IT PERFECT?????? WHY WERE THEY SO GENDER???????

(songs I am feeling intense brainrot over rn in case you're curious: "I Want The One I Can't Have(live)", "Stretch Out and Wait(live)", "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby", "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others(demo)", "What She Said", "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side(live)"(p.s. I Want The One I Can't Have is Martian-coded to me, pls listen)(also it reminds me of that movie I watched yesterday)

[phoenixesse]

Just read Sonic IDW 56 and I’m not fucking with you, I’m sending Shadow and Surge on a one way path straight to therapy together.

[nickfowlerrr]

not being able to fit in even with the groups of ppl who don’t fit in lol sometimes it feels like this high school mentality will never end.

[lostwords-found]

Camping out every night in a tent that for some reason has a GIANT EYE LOGO at the foot of it, which you see every night as you're going to sleep and every morning when you wake up, and also you've spent most of this two week road trip bingeing The Magnus Archives: filed under Things That Could Not Possibly Go Wrong Hahaha What

[oletus-manors-log]

welcome back! i hope u have been doing alright. im glad to see ur enjoying idv haha, don't force urself too much if ur not comfortable or liking it !! >.< i would love to play with u but even i lag a lot in the game T_T

Hi anon, and ty for the wb message! I've been doing well now haha (I've been through ups and downs in the past with this game but it's been easier now to deal with), and dw, I'm p much getting back to it.

(ngl I am coming back for a friend and holy shit is there so much?? I missed??? AND THE LORE OTL OTL I MUST RANT ABOUT THE ASHES OF MEMORY WHAT IS THAT CLIFFHANGER ORPHEUS)

Also damn 😔 I've noticed it on my end as well but oh well o7 it is what it is WWWWW, can't do anything about it when the game nukes on like. Certain modes. I thought they'd have it fixed by now tbh

But yeah no anyways like AYO??? NEW LORE????? WHAT IS THIS IDV AND HOW ARE Y'ALL GONNA CONTINUE THIS WHAT IN THE GODS—

Also I am going to rattle myself silly with these survivors HELP I BUTCHERED A BIT OF FREDERICK IN MY FIC OF HIM SOBBING

[twilit-tragedy]

Estou a morrer de riso. A minha mãe levou-me pra ser avaliada com cinco anos, aparentemente para saber se eu deveria saltar anos de escolaridade, e achou isto relevante o suficiente para mencionar no tribunal aquando do acordo de poder paternal.

[rainia]

dsmp/mcytblr had the worst and wildest fucking discourse, but I have to give it to them - people at least tagged it pretty thoroughly, and one could fairly easily avoid most of it.

[boyfrillish]

I spent like a solid 20 minutes just resting there envisioning scenes from the masquerade ball WIP instead of getting up hahaha

slow-mo morning but a nice start