#have kind of started again now that it’s over
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homunculus-argument · 3 days ago
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Imagine going on a walk on a really foggy day, enjoying the vaguely eerie, faint and distant aesthetic of it all, and the soft quiet of having no other people around. You're about to cross a familiar bridge when you suddenly feel lightheaded. It's nothing to worry about, just a weirdly wobbly feeling that means you should sit down. And probably get more iron in your diet. Either way, you need to get up and you need to cross this bridge to get home. But now being alone has put this weird fear in you - irrational or not - that if you walk over the bridge, you might get dizzy again and fall from it.
Weird and lonely problems require weird and lonely solutions. Since you're all alone here anyhow, you can act strange if you need to. So you get down on all fours - not on your hands and knees, but on the balls of your feet, like a dog. And like this, you start to slowly creep over the bridge. Nice and slow, happy about your solution that made it feel safe to cross and get home. You can be weird if you want to, nobody's judging here.
You're creeping at a comfortable speed, very slowly, but the bridge isn't that long. You can kind of make out the outlines of things on the other side through the mist. The end of the bridge, a familiar tree, a streetlamp, the silhouette of a bush and-
A person. A human figure. You freeze mid-step to stare. That is the most definitely the outline of a person, standing perfectly still. Staring right at you. You don't know how long this moment lingers, but eventually you can't hold your balance anymore and you have to step forward, placing your open palm back on the cold damp bridge. The figure turns, and takes off running. Bolting off in a very normal, startled way that anyone would when they're spooked.
It occurs to you that you only saw the vague outline of an unexpected person, an obscure figure standing in the fog. They, however, saw the vague outline of you, something perhaps vaguely human-shaped, but moving in a way that people simply do not, slowly, very slowly, creeping over a bridge.
Assuming that nobody would see you, you accidentally became someone's unexplained Silent Hill experience.
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lemonlover1110 · 2 days ago
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader
Summary: You make sure that you're the first person to congratulate Toji.
Warnings: Fluff
*happy birthday to the sexiest dilf
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky
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“Happy birthday, Toji.” You wake up the man at midnight, kissing all over his face. The man hates to be woken up, but this surely is a nice way to be awoken. Even though this could’ve waited till the morning, he’s glad that you care enough to stay up late solely to congratulate him.
“Thank you, baby.” He answers as you stop, laying your head on his chest. You listen to his ever so fast beating heart, feeling your eyes get heavy at the soothing sound. 
“How old are you turning again? Old?” You ask him, making a laugh escape his lips. Yeah, old… He feels like he’s lived a thousand lives at this point. He kisses the top of your head before humming in response. You raise your head and narrow your eyes as you stare at him, “Who are you, and what did you do to my husband?”
“What?” He questions, confused why you even ask the question.
“You’re a grumpy old man when I wake you up, but right now you’re...” You begin before he kisses the top of your head again. He’s happy. Instead of being miserable today, he’s here with you– The day hasn’t even started, yet he knows it’s going to be amazing.
You’re going to make a big deal out of today, and he’ll act annoyed when deep down he’s enjoying it. 
“I love you, that’s all.” Toji says, and you feel your face get hot. The man rarely expresses his feelings, so it catches you off guard when he tells you how he feels. Of course you know that he loves you, but it’s odd to hear. 
“I love you too, old man.” You peck his lips before laying your head back down on his chest.
“Stop calling me old man. We’re almost the same–” He begins but you shush him. He chuckles again before his hand goes to your arm, caressing you. He’ll sleep well tonight, and every other night.
“I never asked you what kind of cake you’d like.” You say, feeling your eyes shut on their own once again.
“Your cake.” He responds as he holds back a laugh, a response that makes you lightly slap his chest. “Hey! You asked.”
“You can have that in the morning, I was talking about later in the day.” You answer, and he kisses the top of your head once again. “I’m sleepy.”
“You shouldn’t have stayed up.” He tells you, even though he’s grateful. You care enough to stay up and congratulate him, even if it was something that you could’ve done first thing in the morning.
“I wanted to be the first person to congratulate you.” You mutter as you fall asleep. He can’t help but chuckle, his hand running up and down your back.
You’ve interrupted his sleep, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind being woken up, as long as it’s by you.
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sun-kissy · 3 days ago
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balm | bucky barnes
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bucky barnes x reader — ★ — wc 1k
summary: bucky finds out that you got a (minor) bruise and didn’t tell him about it
tw: fluff, hurt/comfort, mention of accident and bruise, reader gets a little guilty, bucky gets a little upset
“Hey,” you feel Bucky’s hands on your hips, the soft touch of his lips to your cheek. “Hey, doll. Did you get lovelier over the weekend?”
You try to ignore the stinging sensation where his hand rests against your waist. You turn around to face him, abandoning your task of chopping the vegetables.
“Bucky,” you smile softly, arms going around his neck. He grins and kisses you again. “Hi. I missed you.”
“So did I, pretty girl,” he murmurs, thumbing at the skin underneath the edge of your shirt. He’s gentle as always, but the pain is almost unbearable. You try not to squirm. “There were so many times I almost called. But of course, Sam wouldn’t let me. You know, strictly classified location and all that.”
Bucky had gone on a mission over the weekend, and had just gotten back a couple hours ago. You let yourself into his apartment as soon as you got a text from him.
He’d mentioned craving pasta, so you started making some. The only thing you were trying to think about right now was making him feel loved after what must have been an exhausting few days.
You hum understandingly, turning back towards the kitchen platform and picking up the knife. Your shoulders almost sag with relief when Bucky lets go of your hips and stands beside you.
He eases the knife out of your hands, ignoring your protests. “Seriously, doll, it’s okay. I can do this. Why don’t you get started on the pasta?”
“Fine,” you sigh, moving to make way for your boyfriend to use the chopping board.
Bucky chuckles at your stubbornness. He glances over as you stand on your tiptoes to reach the cupboard above the stove.
One moment, you’re rummaging through the shelf to find pasta, and the next, you feel his strong hands curving around your stomach and pulling you back down.
“Bucky —“
“What —“ Bucky interrupts, spinning you around. His hands find your shirt. “— is that?” He lifts it up, lightly brushing his fingertips over the dark purple lying just above your waistline. You try not to flinch. He notices, his frown deepening.
“It’s a… um… a bruise.”
“I know it’s a bruise, doll,” Bucky sighs. He crouches to get a better look at it, and you feel your muscles tensing up. From the stress or the pain, you’re not sure. “I mean, how did you — when did you get this? How did this happen?”
You swallow. His concern makes your heart squeeze in awful ways. “I, um… I got it today.”
“Today?” his gaze flicks up to yours worriedly as he stands up straight. “How?”
“Well, so you see,” you suck in a breath, “there was this other car which crashed into mine from behind —“
“What?!”
“No! Wait,” you grab his hands desperately, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “It’s not as bad as you think it is, really. Just let me finish.”
You could’ve sworn he was glaring at you, but he kept his mouth shut.
“So, nothing major happened —“ you gulp at his deadpan look, “— really! I just got jerked a litte from the impact, and the steering wheel hit me.”
“This hard?”
You confirm it with a nod.
Bucky exhales, fingers finding the rough patch again as he slips his fingers under your shirt. He presses it gently. You wince. “Did you at least get it cleaned up?”
The guilty expression on your face tells him enough. But you still confirm it with a feeble, “no.”
His eyebrows bunch together. “That can’t be good,” he mutters to himself, tugging on the waistband of your shorts to get a better look. “Can you please come to the toilet with me? I think we should disinfect it.”
You’re too overwhelmed with shame to do anything but agree. You let Bucky pull you to the washroom, manoeuvre you with his kind hands to sit on the closed toilet seat. He sits below, first aid kit in his lap.
You know he’s upset, even if he doesn’t say anything. It doesn’t show in the gentle way he wipes a washcloth over the area; the way he rests his chin on your knee as he works.
But it does show when he starts to apply the antiseptic cream. You hiss between clenched teeth, and he seems to have been reminded of the fact that you’re in pain, that you were in pain and you didn’t bother telling him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
You don’t reply, opting instead to bite down on your lip. Bucky is quick to reach for your face, gently pulling it free from your assail.
He asks again, softer, like he wasn’t kind enough the first time. It makes you feel like a bitch.
“You just got back, you know,” you mumble. “You’re probably exhausted, and — and sick of me, and…”
“Sick of you?” he interrupts quietly, something akin to confusion on his features. He sounds hurt. “I could never be sick of you, doll. And… and I missed you. You know I missed you.”
Once again, you don’t know what to say. He doesn’t need you to.
“Listen,” he murmurs, tugging your shirt back down, “It’s my job to worry about you, okay? I don’t want you worrying about me worrying about you. Because I want to.”
“Are you sure —“
“I’m sure, lovely girl,” he says, getting up on his knees to kiss you. You bend forwards, feeling his affection soothe over you like a balm.
Bucky pulls away to rest his forehead against yours. “Promise not to hide things like these from me again, okay? I want to care about you.”
“You want to care about me.”
“I do,” he murmurs, smiling slightly at the awe in your tone. “I do, doll. I love you.” He presses a kiss to your nose. “I love you.”
Bucky revels in the beauty of your smile when you say it back, the first real one he got from you all evening. He was glad to be home.
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soft-beams · 1 day ago
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you and me (let's make something great)
author's note: so i had an idea, and originally, it was gonna be a ficlet mainly focused on debauchery. BUT THEN my brain decided to turn it into something longer with plot, so here we are. it's very soft in the first bit but don't be fooled, it gets filthy as it progresses. please enjoy!
cw: gp!vi, afab!reader, pregnancy talk, breeding kink, dirty talk, nsfw 🔞 (primarily in the second part)
wc: 3.3k
dividers: @/cafekitsune
part i: let's talk about it
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There’s always been talk of starting a family.
Kids with the white picket fence and a garden large enough for them to run around. Maybe a dog or two and a cat because you’ve always spoken about how much you want one. It’d be everything that’s so simple and expected of a family, something so ordinary that it’s almost laughable. But you and Vi never had the opportunity to experience what the ordinary family is.
She grew up an orphan with only her sister by her side, only able to survive due to Vander’s kindness.
You had your own set of problems; a family that didn’t listen or could listen but choose not to.
So to have a family where you can give your children the life you weren’t able to have, that means the whole world and more.
Vi toys around with the idea of asking you again, about the possibility of starting your family as soon as possible. You’ve been together for ten years and married for two, and life has never been as perfect as this.
You’re both doing well at work, bills are being paid on time and there’s even some savings in your joint account. Even savings to potentially look into starting something if that is what you want.
You’re swaying around the kitchen, speakers blasting your playlist as you cook up dinner for tonight. You’ve settled on a simple pasta dish, warm and spicy with delicious herbs. The sauce is bubbling away on the stove and your hips follow the stir of your wooden spoon. You bring the spoon up to your lips, blow gently before having a taste. A hum leaves your lips as your eyes flutter shut, pleased with what you’re creating.
Vi’s enchanted by you and one might call her silly, to be captivated by you merely making dinner. But it’s the mere act of it, the domesticity of it all and how you show your love through everything you do. Even if it’s cooking a dish that you’ve both eaten a hundred times before.
That’s what being in love is and Vi is greedy to share that with someone who’s both her and you.
“Taste this for me?” You ask, facing where she’s sat at the kitchen island. Vi’s quick to hop off her stool and make her way towards you. Her arms encircle you the moment she gets close and your smile brightens at the touch. You lift the spoon up to her lips and even though she knows it’s delicious, Vi goes in for a taste. She mimics your pleased hum from before, swaying you to the slow beat of the song that now plays.
“Babe, you crush it every time,” Vi reveres, causing you to roll your eyes fondly. “How do you do it? Were you a famous chef in your past life or what?”
“It’s pasta sauce,” you respond, voice deadpan but expression vibrant. “The same pasta sauce we’ve been making for five years and can make with our eyes closed.” You turn around in her arms so you can attend to the sauce, Vi taking this opportunity to latch onto your back. She nuzzles into the curve of your neck, pressing a kiss into the sensitive spot there just so she can feel you shiver. “It’s hardly Michelin star worthy.” You pause. “Wait, can dishes be given Michelin stars?”
“Fuck if I know,” Vi murmurs, hooking her chin over your shoulder and settling in. From here, she can see a pot full of water boiling for pasta and the sauce thickening nicely in its pan. “So I want to talk to you about something.”
“We can’t go to the water park next week,” you say, amused. “We’ve had this discussion like six times and as much as I would like to go and hit the wave pool, there’s no—”
The laughter that bursts out of Vi’s mouth is enough to hurt her chest. But it doesn’t stop her from cackling, burying her head into your shoulder in an attempt to muffle how loud she is. She can feel the shaking of your body and hear your lovely laughter as you join her, fully leaning into her chest for support.
“No, you idiot,” Vi manages to say through her chuckles. “Oh fuck you, this was supposed to be a serious thing.”
“Why do you think I said what I said?” You retort playfully and Vi falls even more in love with you, as if that’s even possible. “But tell me what’s on your mind, baby. What’s going on?”
Vi takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second to gather herself. When she opens them, you’re turning off the burner for the sauce and reaching for the fettuccine to the side. Just as you’re pouring the pasta into the bubbling water, Vi’s thoughts spill out.
“I want to have a family with you.”
You go still for a moment, your arms poised above the boiling water with the empty pasta box in your hands. Vi’s unable to see your face but she isn’t necessarily worried about your reaction. It’s a conversation that you’ve had multiple times over the span of your relationship, but today is where you start taking steps towards putting it in action.
“Well, yes,” you start, placing the pasta box back on the counter. Then you’re turning in her arms so you’re facing each other again, your eyes peering into hers. “We’ve spoken countless times about this.” You smooth your hands over the rounds of her shoulders, your face soft. “I’m still very much onboard with this because I want to have a family with you too. But I’m guessing you want to talk about a timeline.”
Vi nods, momentarily speechless because you always just get her, even without her having to say anything. She pulls you away from the stove to sit you on one of the kitchen island’s stools. She notes how you eye the pasta and makes a mental note to attend to the pot after five minutes.
“We always did say that we’d really start considering it once we’ve gotten our lives sorted,” Vi says, standing between your thighs. “And I’d say that our lives are pretty solid. We’re no longer in debt and we’ve got a decent amount saved away.” Her fingers play with your hair, causing you to lean into her touch. “So I thought that now would be a good time to try.” Vi then shakes her head. “Obviously, it’s your choice because it’s your body and I’d never want to pressure you into doing anything because of me and—”
Vi doesn’t notice she’s rambling until you’re pressing your finger against her lips, fond amusement colouring your features.
“I married a good woman,” you say, so tender that Vi feels her heart swell so much that it hurts. It presses against her ribs, pushes up on her lungs making her breathless. It makes her cling to you, hiding her head into the curve of your shoulder. Your hands come around to run soothingly down her back and she melts. “I know it's my choice, baby. You've never made me feel like it wasn't.”
Despite Vi knowing that, the relief that hits her is cool and instant. It's always nice to hear that she isn't pressuring you; that she's allowing you to make your own choices regardless of what she wants.
“I've always wanted to have children with you,” you continue, still running soothing patterns down her back. “That's something that has never changed and probably never will.” You then lean back and Vi's graced with the excitement in your beautiful eyes. “I imagine a little kid who's a mixture of me and you. Maybe my hair and your eyes or vice versa.”
“I hope they get your personality,” Vi says softly. “That they get your kindness and empathy. Your patience and wisdom.”
You laugh quietly, closing your eyes to hide from the blinding of Vi's earnest gaze. You're embarrassed, she can tell, and that makes this moment all the sweeter.
“Well, I hope they get your strength and conviction,” you reply, tilting your head up so the tip of your nose catches the softness of Vi's cheek. “That they get your loyalty and ambition. Your sympathy and empathy.”
Vi's cheeks burn at the compliments you dress her in. Compliments that you would call truths because that's how you see her. Even under all the mess and mistakes, you see the diamonds that rest beneath the dirt.
She'll never understand why someone as special as you forever wants to be with her.
“So…what are you thinking?” Vi asks, eager to see where your head’s at. She watches as you purse your lips with a hum, eyes rolling upwards to stare at the ceiling in thought. Then you’re looking back at her with a smile and that’s how Vi finds her answer.
“Really?” Vi has to double check, to be sure that you’re both on the same page; that this is what you want to do from this moment.
“I’ve been wanting to suggest it for a while but—Violet!” You exclaim out of surprise, laughter startled from you when Vi pulls you in for a tight hug. But your arms are wrapping around her instantly, holding on with a solid grip.
“Thank you,” Vi whispers into your neck, planting a delicate kiss over your pulse. “Thank you so much.”
“No need to thank me,” you say quietly, returning the kiss to the curve of her ear. “I want this too.”
Vi nods and gives you a firm squeeze before pulling away, but not too far so she can still keep you in her arms. She’s so overwhelmed; there’s so much she wants to say but all of it is tied at the back of her throat. The words aren’t coherent but they have meaning and Vi will try all she can to convey how precious that meaning is.
“Okay so,” you begin after you both sit in relaxed silence for a while. “I love you so much and you’re my everything but if that pasta’s mushy, I’ll never forgive you.”
“You lie,” Vi replies, nuzzling at your cheek. “You love me too much to hate me.”
“But I love pasta more,” you tease, your soft laughs muted by the gentle press of Vi’s lips against yours.
The pasta has gone soft but you don’t seem to mind, all too distracted by Vi's sweet kisses.
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“So you’re officially trying for kids now?”” Jinx says one afternoon in the small cafe they often frequent. It's raining outside and there's a chill in the air that seeps into your bones and makes you want to stay in bed. That's where Vi wishes she was now, all curled up underneath the sheets with you.
“Yeah, we had a proper talk about it a few days ago,” Vi says. “Not that all the other talks weren't proper but our plans didn't have a start date.” She swirls the remaining dregs of coffee in her mug. “Now we're both ready and soon there's gonna be a kid in the picture.”
Jinx hums, taking a sip of whatever iced concoction she's gotten today. “I mean, it's a big thing,” she says around her straw. “Bringing a small human into the world. Plus babies are kinda gross with their uncontrollable bowel movements.” Her nose scrunches up. “Not to mention the crying and screaming and inability to talk for the first two years.”
Vi shrugs. “Yeah, but I don't give a shit about any of that.”
“Well, duh. Because you're with someone who's gonna make it worthwhile,” Jinx replies matter-of-factly. “It's kind of like being in love with the person of your dreams makes you more tolerable to things. Shocker.”
“You're already falling into your Cynical Aunt role.” Vi says, deadpan but smiles when Jinx chuckles.
“Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna love the shit out of that little goober,” Jinx says strongly. “Gonna be the best auntie in the world. Much better than Caitlyn or Mel, that's for sure.”
Vi makes a doubtful expression, an eyebrow raised, and raises her hands to placate when Jinx aims her butter knife at her.
“No, you'll be great,” Vi tells her and despite their jokes, she means it. She sees how Jinx is with kids; how she may not seem interested at first but then slowly opens up. Not to say that she connects with every child but when Jinx cares, she cares with her entire heart. So Vi knows that her children will be loved.
Jinx eyes her and takes another sip of her drink before saying, “There's something on your mind.”
Vi huffs. “How can you tell?”
“I'm your sister, we grew up together,” Jinx lists off. “I mean, ignore the fact that we didn't talk for seven years but I know you.” She finishes off her glass and pushes it to the side. “What's going on?”
“Do you really wanna know?”
“Surprisingly, yes.”
Vi chuckles, running a hand through her hair, before leaning back in her seat.
“I just…worry that I may not be a good parent.” She confesses after a moment.
“Why?” Jinx asks straight away, not giving Vi the time to wallow too deeply.
“Because…I mean, look what happened with us,” Vi says, gesturing between them. “I left you alone for seven years over a misunderstanding that took ages to fix. I was supposed to be there for you when our parents died. When Vander died and I…” Vi stops for a second, a heavy knot in her throat. “...I wasn't there and I'm just scared that I'm gonna fuck all of this up.”
Jinx stares at her for a bit, her expression unreadable, before she gives a big eye roll.
“You're so stupid,” she says loudly.
“Gee thanks.” Vi replies.
“You're so stupid because I don't think you realise how good of a big sister you were,” Jinx continues. “How good of a big sister you are. Life sucked for us for a long time, Vi. Especially after our parents and Vander died. Then the hits kept on coming and we had no say in how we survived for a long time. Yes, we got separated and yes, it made me so fucking mad at you, but you came back for me.” She takes a deep breath. “If we could redo the past, we would. But we can't. But things have been fixed and you've shown me time and time how capable you are.” She then laughs. “I mean, you've been in a committed relationship for twelve years, Vi. Most people don't last up to the five month mark.”
Vi tries to ignore the sting behind her eyes, the tears that slowly blur her vision.
“Plus you guys are totally in love,” Jinx says, a slight smile curving her lips. “It's absolutely nauseating but it's also kinda beautiful. You'll make a really good parent, Vi. You got the best of mom and our dads. And your partner kicks ass and is one of the best people I've ever met so…” Jinx shrugs. “Your children are gonna be so lucky to have you two as parents.”
There’s then a lull that falls between them and Vi's trying so hard not to cry. So she swallows back the knot in her throat, chasing it away with her last bit of coffee.
“Saying all of that must have driven you nuts,” Vi jokes weakly, reaching out to give Jinx's hand a grateful squeeze.
“Yeah, I feel gross and need to take a shower,” Jinx jokes in return, weak too and she squeezes Vi's hand just as tight. “Consider that your birthday and Christmas gift.”
Vi laughs loudly, eyes crinkling and mouth wide with the joy she feels.
“Fair enough.” She concedes, knowing damn well Jinx will surprise her with a homemade gift regardless.
“...So, gonna go home and blast your baby batter into—?”
“Jinx.”
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A week or two pass after those conversations are held. Life maintains its norm, leaving you and Vi to continue your existence in its blissful way. It's comforting as it is confusing, because Vi knows that everything’s on the table now. Left wide open for the both of you to bask at.
Vi waits for your move, watches you with a keen eye as you drift throughout the days. She cooks the both of you dinner every other night, picks you up from work every day without fail and holds you close at night so you fall asleep. She does what she knows to do, does it because it has that essence of normalcy.
But that doesn't stop the urges from arising. It doesn't halt the need that bubbles in her stomach every time she sees you. It's overpowering, overwhelmingly so, and Vi fails to understand it until one late evening.
You're curled up beneath Vi’s arm as a movie plays on the television. It's a standard comedy, nothing utterly hilarious but enough to pull a few chuckles from both of you. Vi has hit optimal relaxation, all loose and soft due to you being so close. She can smell the scent of your body wash, drops her face into your hair so she can inhale what lies there. Your shampoo and something so uniquely you.
Her focus has since shifted from the movie, all of it on you as she notes how you’re barely paying attention to the screen. You’ve got this faraway look in your eyes, seemingly lost in thought and Vi wonders what's going through that pretty head of yours.
Then you do something unexpected; you shift a hand towards your stomach and…gently rub at it. The arc of your hand graceful as you follow the slope of your covered flesh. It looks soothing, similar to how you rub Vi's muscles on the days the flare-up of old injuries is too much. But it's also different and Vi's quick to notice it; she sees how your hand comes to lay at your lower stomach and—
Oh.
Vi's suddenly feeling a bit flustered.
A minute goes by, slowly ticking, and Vi tries not to give herself away. She tries not to reveal how the simple act of you rubbing your stomach has her heating up. How she's instantly imagining your stomach round with her child and the way your hand would look caressing the bump.
So tender, so gentle.
Something hot within Vi stirs, causing her to grow a bit restless. The movie captures her attention for a bit, but it hardly does much. Especially when you're pressed into her, still rubbing at your stomach and fuck, her sweatpants feel a little tight.
Because it isn't only about your stomach growing with life inside you. It's also about the transformation you'll grow through. How you'll get softer, how your scent will become a little milkier. How your breasts will swell in preparation and how you'd be a stunning image of how you belong to.
Vi.
Because it's Vi who'll do that to you; it's her who will fuck you full until you can't take anymore. It's Vi who will come and come and come in you until it takes and she sees the fruits of her labour.
It's her who'll…who'll breed you until you’re tongue's tied and your body's a wreck.
So beautiful and pilant and hers.
“...Vi?” Your voice calls her home, like a siren's song, and she's retrieved from her debauched thoughts. “Vi, sweetheart, the movie's done.”
Vi blinks at the television, the credits rolling down the dark screen. How long had she been spacing out for.
“Oh,” she says lamely and you chuckle, standing up from the couch. You tug at her arm, smiling tiredly, as you tilt your body towards the bedroom.
“I'm sleepy,” you say, giving one more tug before Vi’s standing on her feet. “Let's go to bed, we've got work in the morning.”
“Uh huh,” is all Vi can manage as she allows you to lead her to your bedroom.
Something new has clicked in her brain.
Something deep and primal at its core.
...She cannot talk to Jinx about this.
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no-thanks-im-goof · 2 days ago
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Everyone is totally free to have their own opinions!
But I do think everything is a bit more complex than what it's usually made out to be. I know It's not explicitly said here but the underlying conclusion of this thread is essentially "fuck veganism.” Which your opinions are totally valid! Feel free to think and feel whatever you want, feel free to ignore everything I’m about to say. I'm just some random person. I have no impact on what you think, feel or do. Scroll past this now if you want, and if you do I genuinely from the bottom of my heart, hope you have a great day!
But here's my dumb take…
I think we all frequently do this thing where we regurgitate talking points like "PETA BAD" and "LEATHER GOOD"  that simplify nuanced subjects and end up pushing the narrative that animal products are inherently more natural and more sustainable than any alternatives, and therefore we shouldn’t even try to create alternatives. Maybe I sound like a fucking nut job, and I guess that's fine, but I really feel like a lot of these talking points originate from the industries that actively profit from us buying into them. Kind of like how the Bacon Mania in the early 2000s (that created fucking bacon flavored lube) was started by Pork industry marketing executives. (1) 
There is so much rampant greenwashing going on. Advertising is a massive fucking industry all on it’s own. These companies pay a ton of fucking money to lie to you and to get you to buy their products. I’m just gonna quickly address Wool, Leather, and Bees and the massive amounts of greenwashing that happens for those industries:
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Wool: “Animals raised for clothing, like the more than 1.2 billion sheep farmed for wool, or the tens of millions of cows whose skin is processed into leather. Both species, as ruminants, emit massive volumes of methane (the potent greenhouse gas that is responsible for about a quarter of global warming) and take up vast land areas that could otherwise host native, carbon-sequestering ecosystems.” (2) 
Leather: Animal leather's emissions are still higher than synthetic leather and if your not getting vegetable tanned leather, there are still harsh chemicals like chromium that is used in the tanning process of animal leather, which is harmful not only to the environment but also to tannery workers, which if your getting your leather from Bangladesh, might also involve some child labor as well. (3) There are also vegan alternatives to leather that aren't plastic and are fully biodegradable unlike chemical tanned leathers, which again due to the tanning process is for the most part not biodegradable.(4) LEAD researchers also found that the global livestock industry uses dwindling supplies of freshwater, destroys forests and grasslands, and causes soil erosion, while pollution and the runoff of fertilizer and animal waste create dead zones in coastal areas and smother coral reefs. There also is concern over increased antibiotic resistance, since livestock accounts for 50 percent of antibiotic use globally, according to LEAD. (5)
Bees i.e. Honey: While yes agave isn’t good for the environment monocrops in general aren’t, Honey isn’t inherently better for the environment than some of the other alternatives that exist. The Honey industry definitely is not better for native bee populations. Honey bees are one of the only domesticated livestock that can roam freely and end up outcompeting the native bee populations. On top of that habitat loss and deforestation a lot of the time caused by industrial agricultural is one of the leading causes for the decline in native bee populations. (6)
Regarding PETA: I'm not going to sit here and defend PETA, I don't care about PETA but on veganism, the idea that PETA claims to stand for, I'll put in my two cents.
The current definition of veganism is:
"Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose; and by extension, promotes the development and use of animal-free alternatives for the benefit of animals, humans and the environment."
Veganism is a super easy target to strawman and to overgeneralize. It's an imperfect movement that rightly has a lot of things that it can be criticized for, and it should be! Thing's don't get better otherwise! But veganism's core belief of anti-exploitation is something that I think is a good thing actually! and It’s just so wild to me that, for the most part, everyone thinks they’re punching up when dogging on vegans and their beliefs and that veganism is some rich white American hipster shit instead of a radical way of thinking and looking at the world that dates all the way back to the fucking Indus Valley civilization. The majority of people in the world aren’t vegan. Currently vegans only make up 1% of the global population, the highest populations of vegans being in India. The US is not the center of the universe. I think it's honestly sad when otherwise totally radical people buy into the dominant colonial ways of thinking and repeat all these talking points and ideas. 
Back to the subject of environmentalism though, 50% of global deforestation is caused by animal agriculture. It is just point blank, not sustainable. To not engage with these subjects critically is an active disservice to ourselves and our own interests! It lets these monstrous industries, that are literally eating our planet alive, get away with killing us for profit. The worst industry for the environment is of course fossil fuels, but the second worst industry is agriculture and then the third worst is fashion. The agricultural industry and the fashion industry are absolutely horrendous for the environment, animals, the people that work within it as well as for the planet. It’s not just “an industry with problems that can be made sustainable and more humane.” 
Big Vegan™ is not the enemy, it's all these rich ass companies that pay billions to make everything as intentionally confusing, and as hard to understand as possible and they do everything they can to keep us from seeing how things are made and their impact. These corporations do not give af about us, they want us to not care as much as they don't care, so we keep buying their products. We’re all so fucking tired and too busy in our own lives trying survive. Its hard enough to eat sometimes let alone parse through everything you own or buy and make sure things are 100 percent ethical, but we can at least try to do our best and do what we can to try and reduce harm in the world, and to support each other.
If you want handy guides for ethical shopping, check out Ethical Consumer. It's UK based so it won't have brands from all over but a lot of their info and guides are in general really helpful. Here’s an article they did on sustainable fabrics and another on how to help pollinators:
https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/fashion-clothing/choosing-most-sustainable-fabric
https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/food-drink/how-help-bees-pollinators
Shop local if you can, buy second hand items, try to reduce the amount of animal products you use and consume if you are emotionally, medically, or financially able, or donate to causes that make a difference. Every little bit counts.
Sources (1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pqRx7OB-Y (2) https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/24008053/wool-marketing-environment-sustainable-claims-sheep-animal-cruelty-fast-fashion (3)https://www.dol.gov/sites/dolgov/files/ilab/child_labor_reports/tda2023/2024-tvpra-list-of-goods.pdf https://www.ids.ac.uk/news/new-study-uncovers-the-scale-of-child-labour-in-bangladeshs-leather-industry/ https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/bangladesh-leather-factories-child-labor-pollution (4) https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/fashion-clothing/footwear-leather-synthetics (5) https://woods.stanford.edu/news/meats-environmental-impact#:~:text=LEAD%20researchers%20also%20found%20that,use%20globally%2C%20according%20to%20LEAD. (6) https://www.vox.com/down-to-earth/2023/1/19/23552518/honey-bees-native-bees-decline Recommendations: Check out Aoetora liberation league They’re a really cool anti-colonial vegan Māori activist group: https://www.all.org.nz/supportus  https://www.instagram.com/aotearoaliberationleague/?hl=en https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRpWq-KbX6E Other cool orgs: https://foodispower.org/our-work/ https://www.blackvegansrock.com/ Books to check out: Aphro-ism: Essays on Pop Culture, Feminism, and Black Veganism from Two Sisters by Aph and Syl Ko   Racism as Zoological Witchcraft: A Guide to Getting Out by Aph Ko Beasts of Burden: Animal and Disability Liberation by Sunaura Taylor Vegan Entanglements: Dismantling Racial and Carceral Capitalism by Z. Zane McNeill (editor)
Ayoo just to preempt the inevitable dumb takes we’re about to start seeing;
I am PRO-WOOL
I am PRO-LEATHER
I am PRO-BEES
Fuck the idea of replacing durable, sustainable animal products with cheap, flimsy plastic that doesn’t bio-degrade. Agave nectar and other artificial sweeteners are expensive, labor-intensive, and destroy the environment to be farmed.
Do not buy into pernicious marketing campaigns pushed by dickhead organizations trying to stay relevant, like PETA.
13K notes · View notes
star-sim · 1 day ago
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show me how ☆ jake sim
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☆ non-idol! jake x fem! reader ☆ summary: jake didn't think his casual crush on you, his hot coworker at the local ice cream parlor, would flourish into anything. but one day, after a power outage during a shift, the two of you are forced to huddle up together to keep warm, opening up many, many, many doors into your relationship. ice cream was sweet and soft. and despite your appearance, so were you. ☆ genre: coworkers to lovers, fluff, a lot of bickering, alternative! reader, jake is kind of a loser, rock references, nonchalant crushes, summer romance, baddie reader, JAKE IS JUST REALLY DOWN BAD ☆ warning(s)? slightly suggestive? just tbh its js jake being really attracted to you LOL ☆ word count: 12.3k ☆ joining @bywons 1k event for "show me how" by men i trust. i had a little bit of a different approach to crushes this time. this is extremely late im so sorry enjoy!
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"Can I get uhhhhh…"
Jake deadpanned for the 15th time in the past hour.
He was trying to be kind, to be understanding, to be loving in all ways possible… He really was.
But was it that difficult to order a mint chocolate cone with rainbow sprinkles?!
Jake watched as the snotty child before him picked his nose, his eyes glazing over the menu. It’s been ten minutes and this kid was taking too long to order. For fuck’s sake, he was holding up the line!
For his summer job, Jake started working at the ice cream parlor near the pier. He thought it was a good idea, since the pay was above minimum wage and he liked ice cream.
Wrong!
It was horrible!
From rude customers to his asshole of a boss to his incompetent coworkers, Jake dreaded coming into work everyday.
It was another summer afternoon, where Jake slaved away for his corporate overlords. Summer was only kicking off, so the June gloom stuck like glue. This morning, there were already storm warnings, so imagine Jake's surprise when a whole bunch of people went to the beach today and the ice cream parlor next to it.
"Please take your time," Jake said with a tight-lipped smile. Translation: I’ve given you enough time, kid. Hurry up and order or I’ll actually snap.
The kid blinked at Jake, before picking his nose. "Can I get uhhhh…"
Jake winced, but forced a smile with a nod. "Would you like any recommendations?"
Translation: You better tip me, you little punk.
By now, he could see the angry mothers and kids at the back of the line, quietly complaining about the hold-up. All Jake could do was smile apologetically, hanging his head in embarrassment.
And to Jake's horror, as the snotty little kid was still deciding on what he wanted to order, Jake could hear the back door creaking open, followed by a "Bye, Jake!" before it slammed.
Did Jake ever say that he hated his coworkers?
Today wasn't even Jake's shift, but he had to cover three shifts, because his other coworkers couldn't give a damn. They loved to leave early because they knew that Jake would work his ass off either way. So here he was, now forced to run an entire ice cream parlor with already angry customers all by himself!
"Actually, I don't want anything," the snotty kid blinked at Jake. "Bye, mister."
With that, the kid left, oblivious to Jake's gawking face.
You've got to be kidding me.
If it weren't for the fact that his name tag had his name printed in big, thick letters and that there was already a line of impatient customers, Jake might have yelled.
As he put on his customer-service voice for the next customer in line, Jake could hear the back door creak open again if he listened past the generic pop music playing in the background.
And the moment that he heard a familiar voice, Jake nearly ascended into the sky.
"Jake, I'm here!"
There was only one part of working at this dinky little ice cream parlor that Jake liked.
And it was you.
His savior, you.
You were the only coworker that actually did your work. In fact, you went above and beyond. The only shifts that seemed to be productive on all ends were when it was you and Jake.
If he could recall correctly, today wasn't your scheduled shift either. You were probably covering someone's shift like him, too.
And plus, you were cute.
Really cute.
Jake never really thought he had a "type" when it came to girls. In fact, Jake couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush. But the moment he saw your smudged eyeliner, constant annoyed look, the multiple tassel and charm bracelets on your wrists, and your black nail polish, he knew that you were his type.
You looked like you could probably scare a baby with a single look. Honestly, you could make Jake piss himself with a single look, too. And for some reason, he liked it. A lot. Which was weird.
Within seconds of just arriving, you were already throwing on your apron, fixing up your work uniform before appearing at the counter, ready to do your fucking job.
Jake tried his best to focus on the group of middle schoolers who giggled over every word as they ordered their ice cream, but even from behind him, he could hear you cleaning one of the scoopers and getting the keys for the second cash register. Even though all you were doing was your job, Jake couldn't help but straighten up his posture and run a hand through his hair as you took the register beside him. Just in case you spared him a glance, he had to look his best.
"Hi, what can I get you?" you said chirpily, putting on your best customer-service voice, something that Jake could tell was not your forte. Although he didn't know you seriously, he's had conversations in passing with you, whether it be on slow days, during breaks, or as the two of you closed up the parlor together. You never sounded as enthusiastic as you did now, as you happily helped an old lady pick her order.
You were cool like that.
Actually, really cool.
Jake couldn't think of anyone cooler than you.
And you were pretty, and hardworking, and honest, and responsible, and cooperative, and a little bit scary, but that was hot. You were also very kind to customers, and even though Jake could see your lips— which were nice, by the way— twitch, he could tell that you were trying your best, which was good, and—
"Um, sir, can I order now?"
Jake snapped out of his daze, tearing his eyes away from you.
"R-Right!"
Completely missing the way you rolled your eyes at him, though without a little chuckle.
It wasn't always easy being the only competent worker at the parlor. While it meant you got paid more for covering so many shifts, you couldn't say it was fun working the late shifts.
The parlor closed at 11PM on weekdays, so here you were, working late into the night. 
You yawned as you rang up the last customer of the night, using all of your last bits of strength to muster a smile, before saying, "Have a good night!"
As the door slammed shut, the building winds outside providing more than enough force to ring through the entire parlor, you let out a sigh.
"They're gone, Jake," you called.
From inside the break room, you could hear Jake groan something muffled but definitely, "Finally."
Jake Sim was the only coworker you could rely on. He was the only person your age, both of you were freshly graduated highschoolers working to prepare for college experiences. Despite his party-boy look, he was surprisingly diligent. You definitely noticed how he ended up picking up another person's shift, just like you. Unlike everyone else, he actually gave a damn, which you could appreciate.
Tonight was no different from any other.
It was just Jake and you, working the closing shift together.
The moment you entered the break room, you let out an exasperated sigh, leaning on the door frame. Jake, too, was slumped over on the table, his face buried in his arms.
Your shitty coworkers always tried to convince you that you should be happy to work extra shifts: extra pay, more work experience, have a good rep with the boss.
But what they didn't mention was how absolutely draining it was to work 7 hours straight in a short-staffed busy ice cream parlor.
"Why were there so many people?" Jake groaned, shoving his face deeper into his arms. If you weren't exhausted out of your mind, you would've thought the scene before you was a funny sight. Jake, in his silly white uniform designed to look like that of a sailor's and crooked worker hat, practically melting on the break room table.
"And why were there only two of us?" you added, letting your eyelids fall shut as you leaned against the door frame.
Though, you would say, you did like working for one extra reason: Jake Sim himself.
He was as cute as a button, and pretty easy to talk to.
Jake lifted his head, quickly checking his phone.
"No seriously," he rested his face on his fist. "It was cold and dreary all day— and wasn't there a storm warning?— Why would anyone want to get ice cream on a day like this?"
You shrugged. "Beats me."
The two of you stayed in the break room in silence for a few more moments, catching your breaths after a long day. "Let's get outta here, Jake."
Here was your favorite part of the work day: closing up. Not just because it meant that you got to leave, but you could do whatever you wanted.
Jake locked up the front door and flipped the sign, while you locked up front displays and cash registers. The two of you tidied up the breakroom (which was empty because your slobs of coworkers weren't here), before pulling out the mops and cleaning up the floor.
This was the fun part.
"Hey!" Jake cried as you splashed water onto the floor, your wet mop sludging up the water as it moved against the checkered floor. Looks like some of the water got onto his pants. "What was that for?"
You shrugged, with a sly grin. "No reason in particular— Hey!"
Jake shook off the excess water on his mop, pointed directly at you, the water droplets spraying all over your shirt.
"See?" he pointed to the wet drops on your shirt. "We're even now."
You rolled your eyes, but you knew he was being playful.
It was fun now because this was the time that you could play whatever music you wanted. Your manager always insisted that you'd play generic pop music during store hours, but now that it was closed, you could play any music you wanted. And it was great, because you and Jake had the same music taste.
"Really?" you whipped your head over to Jake as he passed your phone, which controlled the sound system, back to you. "Bon Jovi?"
You winced as loud vocals, strong guitar riffs, and a drum louder than you could imagine blasted through the speakers.
"Bon Jovi is good!" Jake shouted all the way from the freezers.
Maybe your taste was just a little bit different.
Jake was a cool guy. He really was. Very personable and someone that you could have fun with, even if you weren't that close to him. But sometimes his music choices were too much.
"You have no reason to be blasting hard rock at 11PM," you murmured.
"I heard that!"
You stifled a chuckle.
As you cleaned the floors, you nodded your head to the music. You could hear humming along wherever he was. It was all quiet, only the sound of mops, the freezers' buzzing, and your queued music playing in the background. It was small moments like his that made you want to keep working (other than the pay).
And plus, the parlor was very close to the beach.
At times like this, you could hear seagulls squawking overhead, with waves crashing against the shoreline.
Which... now that you thought about it...
Why couldn't you hear any of that?
Usually, even if Jake was blasting the hardest rock, you could still hear the sounds of the sea.
But now, all you heard was wind.
You glanced out the window.
Palm trees blew against the night sky. Wind whirled, creating a howling sound.
And before you could think anything of it, you heard two things: the back door slamming, and the sound of electricity buzzing.
One moment you could see everything, and the next moment it was completely dark.
Your blood ran cold.
The music stopped. The buzzing of the freezers stopped, too. It was completely dark, so dark that you couldn't even see your own hands, save for the single stream of moonlight leaking through the front windows.
You would consider yourself a calm person, you really would.
But in that moment, you felt panic set in.
Because here you were, working a late shift in a tiny little ice cream parlor in the middle of the beach, with no one but your teenage coworker. And now all the power went out.
And because you were afraid of the dark.
The mop in your hand dropped, clunking! against the checkered flooring.
Your heart pounded, so loud that you could hear it in your ears. You could feel it jumping out of your chest.
"J-Jake?" you called out.
No response.
Your mind did wonders to scare you, and now it was working over time.
What happened to Jake? Did he disappear with the lights too? You dug your teeth into your bottom lip.
Were you all alone in the dark? Just you and this dark abyss, a dark abyss so suffocating yet so cold that you couldn't even tell if you were standing or curled up. By this time, your legs were feeling weak, so you wouldn't be surprised if you were on the floor, your knees to your chest.
You squeezed your eyes shut.
The howling of the wind sent chills down your spine. Realistically, nothing could get you. You were just at work, like always, but it was just dark. But you felt like something would jump out at you, something scary and from your worst nightmares. It would get you, maybe hurt you. Were you going to die? Why did you feel so alone? What happened to everyone? What happened to Jake—
"[Name]?"
At the sound of a familiar voice, your eyes shot open.
But instead of being met with a pure, unknown darkness, you were met with a tall figure before you, completely shrouded in darkness, save for the stream of yellow light coming to illuminate its face.
Terrifying.
You let out a shriek as you jumped back.
What the hell was that? Was that what got Jake?—
It took a step forward, and before you could scream again—
"[Name]!" it was Jake's voice. He reached out for you, his hand resting on your shoulder. "It's me, Jake!"
You heard a bit of clicking, and it was then that you realized that the scary figure that you saw was just Jake with a flashlight. You relaxed.
"You okay?" Jake crouched down to your curled up figure, the yellow light of the flashlight glimmering against the floor. Although your eyes had slightly adjusted to the darkness, you could see your hands now. "I think the power went out."
You nodded slowly, still with your knees against your chest. Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You felt Jake's hand reach out for yours, interlocking fingers before giving it a squeeze.
Boom!
You jumped away from Jake, a small "eep!" escaping your lips.
Jake flinched, pointing the flashlight at the front windows.
"Thunder," he muttered under his breath. Although all the streetlights and signs had shut down too, he could see the lightning as it struck in the night sky.
He glanced at your startled form.
"Damnit," he cursed under his breath. "There was a storm warning earlier."
You hid your face in your palms.
This was everything that you didn't want to happen.
It was completely dark, and here you were practically trapped inside. It was impossible to get home, because the roads were all dark, and there was probably an oncoming storm, too. It was cold, and it was just you and your coworker. You just wanted to go home!
Although he couldn't see your face, Jake could sense your uneasiness. 
"C'mon," he tugged at your hand. "Let's go to the back."
Although Jake bumped into a few tables and counters on the way to the break room, he didn't mind. After all, there was you, who was clearly startled. He'd rather get a bruise on his hip than you.
He could hear your breath hitching, small whimpers of fear tumbling out as he led you through the dark abyss. Jake had to admit, it was much scarier when it was completely dark than when it wasn't.
The breakroom wasn't much better than in the middle of the floor, but at least there were chairs. Not that it mattered.
You and Jake decided to sit under the break table, shoulder to shoulder with the flashlight between you.
It was silent. You couldn't see Jake, but the feeling of him next to you relieved only some of your anxiety.
The flashlight only illuminated enough for you to see a few feet around you. Otherwise, everything else was a dark, bottomless void.
You knew it was illogical and practically impossible for something else to be lurking. But as minutes passed in silence, the thought of something—or someone— prowling in the dark and ready to jump out at you gnawed at you more and more. Goosebumps rose along your arms, the hair on your neck standing.
"I'm scared, Jake," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I'm so scared."
Thunder boomed in the air, lightning crackled, while heavy rain began to shower down. You jumped at the sound, your hands immediately shooting to grab Jake's arm and leaning into his touch. You squeezed your eyes shut, a scared squeak escaping your lips.
"I'm scared!" you squealed.
Jake's brows furrowed, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.
"Hey," he said into your ear, watching as you curled up against him, clutching his arm tight. "Hey, I got you."
Your hold on him only tightened as another round of thunder boomed through the night. "Open your eyes, [Name]. It's okay."
You shook your head profusely, your face pressed into his shoulder.
"Nothing's gonna get ya," he whispered, slowly rubbing circles on your back. "You're okay."
You shook your head again.
"It's so dark," you peeped. "Too dark."
"It's okay," Jake's voice was soft, soft as a cloud as he comforted you. "I'm here. I got you."
You nodded into his shoulder, but you kept your face pressed against it, not letting up.
Jake watched you, both with a soft heart and with wide eyes.
He wouldn't say he knew you too well. Even so, he'd spent a lot of time with you this summer so far, he had a few good memories with you. You were always so... cool.
Always on-task, always ready to fight a rude customer, always ready to speak up if you thought something was wrong.
It was weird. Seeing someone that Jake had always seen as a pillar of support one way or another completely drop that image of strength was… something that he never expected.
Here you were, so vulnerable in his arms.
Jake would have never expected you to be afraid of the dark, let alone some thunder, but he didn't mind. Even with your eyes closed, and even with his arms wrapped around you, you still jolted at each crackle in the sky.
If only he could do something to help you...
Jake let out an 'ah' sound.
He leaned into your ear, whispering right against the shell of your ear, "I'll be right back."
You let out another squeak as you felt Jake slipping away from you, yet he didn't take the flashlight with him.
"J-Jake—!"
"I'm still here," he said, yet you heard as he took a few steps. He was rummaging through his bag. He tried his best to feel for what he was looking for: a small, square case. "I'm with you, don't worry."
And as quick as he left your side he was back. Jake slithered his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. Your eyes widened a fraction as Jake fished for his phone from his back pocket.
"What were you—" you furrowed your brows— "Why’d you get up?"
You could feel Jake turn his head to look at you, and you could hear him grin.
"To get this." In his palm, Jake revealed a small, square case. His earbuds.
You blinked. "W-Why?"
"Don't worry about it." You watched confused as Jake took his earbuds out, jabbing it into the headphone port of his phone. Then, he handed you both of the ears.
"For you," he said simply.
As you were about to object, lightning striked again in the sky, yet another squeal coming from you.
You took his earbuds, jamming them into your ear.
Jake pressed the first song in his playlist.
And if you weren't scared out of your mind right now, you would have yelled at him.
Because really?
Bon Jovi?
At a time like this?
The music was loud enough that you could be distracted, but quiet enough that you could still hear Jake's voice. And when Jake noticed that you were relaxed enough, he opened his mouth.
"I'm surprised you didn't want to rip out my earbuds the moment you heard Bon Jovi," he said.
You elbowed him, yet you were still clinging onto him for dear life.
"Read the room, man," you muttered. "I'm scared shitless."
Jake laughed, and you rolled your eyes again. "This is the only time that I'll willingly listen to Bon Jovi."
"Hey!" Jake cried. "Bon Jovi is a good band."
You shot him a look. "Play some Pink Floyd, something."
You cursed Jake. Of course he'd let you listen to his music, because he got to control it!
"Nah," Jake said. "Bon Jovi is perfect for rainy nights."
You scoffed. "In what world?"
You could hear him grin again. "In my world."
What a loser.
You could see his phone screen light up, probably texts from his parents, but he ignored it. Jake’s phone was on the floor on the other side of him, the side that you were not on.
“Are you sure you won’t play Pink Floyd?” you asked slowly.
“Nope.”
Extreme times call for extreme measures.
Your arm reached across Jake’s lap, jerking to take his phone.
“Hey!” Jake yelped, squirming away from you in a way that blocked your hand from reaching his phone. “What the hell are you—“
“I’m changing the song!”
The two of you struggled like that for a few more moments, and then the next thing you knew you were on Jake’s lap, your arms pinned above your head.
“Let go of me!” you writhed, the earbuds in your eyes still blasting the hardest rock you’ve ever heard. Although you managed to take Jake’s phone, there wasn’t much you could do if he was pinning your hands above you.
“Then give me my phone back,” Jake ignored your struggling.
“Then change the song!”
“No!”
You huffed, continuing your attempt to wriggle out of Jake’s hold, but alas, he was stronger than you. “How are you so strong—“
Boom! Crackle! Thunder and lightning struck.
“Eep!” Immediately, you collapsed onto Jake’s chest, pressing your face into his shirt. You clung onto him, squeezing your eyes shut. When you could feel his chest rumble with a few chuckles, you punched his shoulder lightly. “Shut up.”
Jake chuckled again, but he only pulled you in closer by the waist, allowing you to cling to him more comfortably.
As the storm raged on, any hope that the power would be back up was lost. Jake's phone still had service, but you could tell he was being polite and not going on his phone to not make you feel alienated. Your phone was somewhere in the front, probably on a counter or something.
"We really shouldn't have agreed to cover shifts today," you murmured, your cheek pressed against Jake's chest.
Jake hummed.
He wanted to get past the way that anytime you spoke to Jake, it was either about music or work. He didn't mind talking about these things with you, but he wished he could say more. He wanted to know what you were thinking, and hear about what you liked and disliked, what silly stories or memories you had to tell him.
He wanted to get to know you.
“What’s your favorite color?”
???
"What?"
Jake blinked. "What's your favorite color?"
You stared at him. "Why?"
He shrugged under you. "I dunno. I just wanted to get to know you better."
"Oh." What a simple reason. It made sense for such a simple question. "I like black."
Jake scoffed. "That's not a color."
"Huh? Then what is it?"
"A shade."
"Says who?"
"Says science!"
And then it was quiet again (at least on Jake's part, you were still listening to his music)
But not quite awkward.
Despite the compromising position that you were in, there wasn't any feeling of embarrassment or discomfort.
That's how Jake would describe how he felt toward you. It was an easy thing. You were cool and pretty, and he liked you. Nothing more, nothing less. No games to play, no extra calculations or hours of planning. He liked you, and he was just going to do what felt right. It was as straightforward as that.
"What are you doing after this summer?" you asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
That's right. You and Jake had never discussed much about your personal lives, like where you went to high school, what your plans were post-high school, etc.
And now that the two of you were alone, in the dark, with virtually nothing to do, it was the perfect time to talk about it.
"I'm going up to Santa Barbara," Jake said coolly. "I'm studying biomed engineering."
"Oooh," you mused. "How exciting."
Jake let out a chuckle. "You don't sound excited."
"I am," you deadpanned, and Jake couldn't hold back a laugh.
"What about you?" Jake asked. "What are you doing?"
Even though it was dark, Jake could hear you frown.
"I'm going to Davis for International Business." You paused. "I don't know."
"Whaddaya mean?"
You shrugged. "I dunno if it's really my passion. I just chose it because—"
You're interrupted by a loud bang! followed by buzzing. You jolted, tensing up in Jake's hold, whose hand shot to the small of your back protectively.
"Eek!" you cried, and the next thing you knew, all the lights were back on.
You and Jake stayed where you were for a few moments, long enough for the freezers in the back to start buzzing again. As if someone just snapped their fingers, everything turned back on. The bright lights hitting your darkness-adjusted eyes made your eyes water.
"Oh," Jake said plainly. "The lights are back on."
"No shit, Sherlock," you muttered, earning a pinch to your side. It was now that you and Jake really realized your current positions: you were on top of him, with your head resting on his shoulders, with his arms wrapped around your waist. And it seemed like the two of you realized this at the same time.
"We should—" Jake averted his gaze from you, finding the floor next to him very interesting.
"Yeah, you're right, we should—" you slowly pulled away from him, grimacing at the feeling of Jake's arms slipping away from you.
"Yup, and—" Jake trailed off, not fully completing his thought.
Awkward.
The two of you were back on your feet in no time, both with slightly-disheveled work uniforms, but hey, it was to be expected.
Together, the two of you inspected the parlor. Just in case something slipped in while it was dark (even though that was virtually impossible).
Everything was exactly as you left it.
The mop that you dropped on the floor, your phone on the counter, the keys to the freezer that Jake threw by accident, even the messy chairs.
"Are you scared right now?" Jake asked with a chuckle as you stayed close behind him, your fingers clutching his broad shoulders. From time to time you'd peek around him, but for the most part, you stared straight at his back, unwilling to look ahead. Just in case a monster jumped out!
"I'm not." Lie.
Jake laughed, but before he could poke fun at you more—
Boom!
Oh right, the storm.
Like a cat, you jumped almost immediately, gripping Jake's shoulders for dear life.
Jake peeked out the windows. The streetlamps and signs were illuminated again.
"Looks like all the lights are back up," he said. He glanced over his shoulder to you, who clung to him. "I think we can go home now. The storm's dying down already."
You nodded, and the two of you finished closing up in silence, before preparing to leave.
"Do you have a ride?" Jake asked you as the two of you packed up your things.
Shit.
"My mom was going to pick me up because she didn't want me driving late at night," you groaned. "I'll call her right no—"
"No," Jake shook his head, reaching inside his pocket. You watched as he really shoved his hands in there, like he was searching for something. At last, after digging through his pockets for what felt like hours, he pulled out a bunch of keys, with a tiny lego keychain dangling off of it. "I'll drive you home."
After that day, you weren't called into work again for a few days. In those few days, for some weird reason, you couldn't get Jake off your mind. Which you thought was weird.
You never really thought about Jake aside from work. And it wasn't even the fact that you were thinking about him! It was the fact that you felt weird for feeling weird about thinking about him. If that even made sense.
He's always been cute. Gentlemanly, too.
When he drove you home the other day, he insisted that you didn't need to pay him back for driving you home. In fact, he said that he'd rather use more gas than have you wait alone at the parlor to be picked up. He opened and closed the door for you, showed you how to control the heaters so that you could be warm, and even let you play your music!
He was reliable too, someone that you knew you could count on. And he was very kind, because no matter how many rude customers there were, he understood that everyone was human and served them with a smile. Unlike you, who always exercised that "we reserve to deny you service" right.
These were all things that you knew. It was no surprise. You knew these things.
But after that day, you couldn't help but feel like it was... amplified.
Jake was cute, but now he was cuter. Way cuter.
He felt even more gentlemanly and reliable and kind now. Him going out of his way to comfort you, even if it meant that you had to listen to his god-awful music, warmed your heart.
And that was the weird part.
It was just so odd. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And you felt all weird and mushy for thinking about him, which made you feel even weirder!
You didn't really get it.
Surely, it wasn't a crush.
It wasn't like you were all over the place, distracted and spacy and blushing now that Jake was on your mind. You weren't rolling around and kicking your feet, nor were you giggling.
But you would be lying if you said that the simple thought of his name didn't make you excited.
Meanwhile, Jake knew exactly what was happening to him.
And it was that his crush on you definitely deepened tenfold.
In the moment, when he was with you, whether it be the other day or any other day at all, he was always nonchalant. It was a casual crush, he'd say. Everything was straightforward with no games to play.
But that was a lie.
Because here he was, lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling. He hugged his pillow, embarrassingly pretending that it was you. He felt like a weirdo, but he couldn't get the feeling of you clinging to him and in his arms out of his head!
Just the mere thought of that night made him have to roll around and giggle for a few moments.
Jake sucked in the scent of his pillows. Unfortunately, they didn't smell like you, just like laundry with a faint scent of his own cologne.
You were so pretty, and cool, and kind, and smart, and practical, and just everything good in the world. And then when you got scared and clung to him, it made his heart flutter, because who knew you could be so cute?
Jake let out a squeal into his pillow, his cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling.
For the first time ever, Jake actually wanted to go to work. Just to see you.
He couldn't wait for it.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," you said for the millionth time today. "We don't have that here—"
Another day at work. Just when the idea of going to work didn't sound too bad, you're reminded why you hate it.
Apparently some kids on TikTok spread a rumor that your parlor had a special, limited-edition, summer unicorn flavor. And even worse, your damn social media manager was hinting at it on Instagram, too.
So here you were now, trying to explain to a hoard of angry customers that this limited-edition unicorn flavor was absolutely false. To think that your own social media manager would betray you and your coworkers like this just to attract more customers... You shouldn't be unsurprised but you were.
Diabolical.
It must've been the 90th time in the past hour that you had to explain that you had no fucking clue what a unicorn flavor would be, and if you weren't a tired and overworked teenager, you would've felt bad when a little girl bursted into tears in the middle of the store.
Cry about it, you thought, and you couldn't tell if that sentiment was towards your angry customers, or if it was towards upper management that were about to get multiple complaints about you.
Breathe, you had to tell yourself. It's not worth it. Where was everyone else anyway? You couldn't believe that you were left completely alone to operate the establishment on your own. And most of your coworkers were older than you anyway. Those bums!
You sucked in another breath, putting on your best smile.
"You're telling me that you don't actually have the limited-edition unicorn flavor?!" an angry father crossed his arms, upset with his children cowering beside him.
"No, sir," you said as politely as you could. "That was just a rumor. My apologies for the inconven—"
"Unacceptable!"
You winced, feeling your ears warm up. If everyone in the parlor wasn't already watching you like a hawk, all eyes were now on you.
"I had to drive two hours here," the father slammed his hand on the counter, leaning in so close that you could smell him. "I drove two hours here for unicorn ice cream and you're telling me that it was all a lie?!"
All of this.... for ice cream?"
"I apologize, sir," you hung your head low to appear genuine, clasping your hands together. "That must have been a long ride and—"
"Shut up and give me my ice cream, you bi—" Your eyes widened a fraction as you saw a big palm swinging your way... Was he about to slap you? In the milliseconds that you could even react, you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for the stinging feeling of a hand against your cheek.
But instead, you felt nothing, only the sound of a few gasps and light chuckling.
"Hey, there, sir," you heard Jake's voice as you peeled your eyes open.
Jake was beside you, his hand wrapped around the man's wrist that was mere inches away from your face.
"J-Jake?!"
The man struggled in Jake's grip, attempting (and failing horribly) to pull his wrist out of Jake's hand.
"Let go of me, boy!" he yelled. Everyone's eyes were on the scene now. How embarrassing.
Jake narrowed his eyes, tightening his grip.
"Here at Layla's Ice Cream Parlor, we reserve the right to deny any patron service," he said plainly.
The man scoffed. "And are you about to deny me service? What are you, the manager?"
Jake only shook his head calmly.
"You were about to assault my coworker here," he motioned toward you, then to the man's still-raised hand. "I don't need to be any manager to realize that someone of that sort has no business here."
Jake shot him a smile, before roughly letting go of his wrist, letting it fall to the counter.
"Please leave, sir."
He glanced around the room, noticing the way everyone stared at him. Another tight-lipped smile spread on his face.
"There are no limited-edition summer flavors, so if that is what you are here for, I apologize for the disappointment. " Jake glanced at you. "Please help yourself to the flavors that we actually have."
With that, Jake took you by the wrist, pulling you into the breakroom.
"W-Wait Jake—!" you tried to pull out of his grasp. "There's still customers out there."
He gently pushed you down onto a chair.
Jake crouched down at your sitting figure, putting his hands on your knees. He squeezed them playfully. "You've done enough today. I'll handle the rest."
"But— But there's a lot of people today," you reasoned, placing your hands on his. "You can't run the entire place on your own...!"
But before the last syllables could even leave your lips, Jake was already retying his apron, fixing his dumb uniform hat. Before he slinked away through the door, he glanced over his shoulder, gripping the door frame.
"I'll prove you wrong," he said with a grin. "Just watch."
(You were right, he was wrong. Not even the most exemplary worker like Jake could handle an entire exuberant ice cream parlor by himself. The moment you saw his tired eyes you were already throwing on your apron. Though, you got a good laugh out of it afterwards.)
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You deadpanned.
This was not what you signed up for.
It was Saturday, the day that you swore was your break day from work. And then all of a sudden you got an urgent call from your manager and you rushed to work immediately.
You thought that the parlor got robbed, or maybe something broke down.
Nope.
"You want me..." you blinked, "To wear that?!"
Lo and behold, before you was a comically large ice cream costume, with a brown waffled body for the cone and the most obnoxious white swirl reaching high in the ceiling, with only a circular cut-out to see your face.
Apparently, sales were dwindling, so your managers decided to try out some new advertising.
You were going to wear that godforsaken ice cream costume and hang outside the parlor to attract customers.
"Kid-friendly language only," your manager instructed you matter-of-factly. "No swearing, no saying mean words."
You tuned him out.
And if the walk of shame out of the bathroom in your ice cream costume wasn't bad enough, you were hit with the last thing you wanted to see: Jake Sim.
You were about to jump and shriek and let the ground open up and devour you whole... when you realized that he was wearing an ice cream costume too...!
"You too?!" you cried. Behold, in front of you stood your favorite coworker Jake Sim with an equally deadpan expression, clad in the ridiculous ice cream costume.
"Yup," Jake muttered, popping the p. "I guess we'll never be free."
And he was indeed correct.
There was truly nothing more mortifying than standing outside the damn ice cream parlor, holding an even more obnoxiously bright sign and trying to attract customers... all in your humiliating ice cream costume.
Kids laughed at you from across the street. Cars that passed by you probably did the same. Absolutely demoralizing.
"Come to Layla's Ice Cream Parlor," you said in a monotone voice, trying your very best to not burst into tears of sheer embarrassment. "We have ice cream... and... uh—"
You glanced at Jake, whispering to him, "What else do we have?"
"Ice cream." He said, absolutely no expression in his voice or face. Oh god, we must have lost him too! "Nothing but ice cream."
Poor guy, he looked like he wanted to disappear.
This must have been a punishment, or something. Maybe a humiliation ritual. But after a good ten minutes, you and Jake just decided to commit to the bit. After all, you were getting paid extra for this.
"Ice cream, ice cream!" you and Jake chanted as you paraded around the vicinity of the parlor. After all, there was nothing you could do but make the best of it. You went out of your way to speak to oncoming customers, advertising with the most energy you could. "Come to Layla's Ice Cream!"
But it wasn't always easy.
Like always, customers and children were rude.
"Hello, miss, are you interested in trying some of Layla's yummy yummy ice cre—" and then you got laughed at. Like actually. They just started pointing and laughing at you. Like you were some freak.
And then Jake tried to square up some little kids a few times, it was a mess.
And finally, after what felt like years out there trying to advertise to people, your manager finally called you guys back in. Apparently, you and Jake did such a wonderful job that you guys were needed back at the front. Your coworkers couldn't seem to keep up. Lazy asses.
You and Jake went back inside to change back into your work uniforms— those stupid blue and white sailor uniforms. Except, one of your coworkers was having an "emergency" in the staff bathroom (you were certain it was just Beomgyu sitting on the toilet with his phone and refusing to do his job), so both you and Jake had to change in the staff break room.
At the same time.
"Okay, you will change, and I will cover you—"
"Shut up!" you exclaimed. "Why can't we just change at the same time?"
Jake was being terribly awkward about it.
"B-Because!" he reasoned, unable to hide the way he couldn't look you in the eye. "Because.... you're a girl, and I'm a guy!"
"Aaaaand?" you drew out your syllables, crossing your arms over your chest.
"We can't possibly change in the same room?" Jake cried. "What if— What if I accidentally see your—"
Your cheeks warmed up. What was he on about? "You're not going to!"
Your boss was really annoying about punctuality, so you and Jake should probably change quickly anyway. You ignored Jake's fussing, raising your arms as you began to pull your shirt over your head.
"What are you—"
"Just change!"
In the end, you guys just did the easiest option: turning around so that you faced opposite directions while the other changed... which should have been intuitive for Jake (but he's a little slow).
When you two were both done changing, you turned back around to face Jake, about to let out your grievances about working.
Except, when you saw him, you couldn't help but let out a giggle.
Because your work uniform was supposed to resemble that of a sailor, there were a few complex pieces, such as the sailor scarf draped over your shoulders and neck. Usually, you need a mirror to tie it properly. There was also the damn paper sailor hat that you had to wear.
Since you weren't changing in the bathroom, there was no mirror, so poor Jake's hat and tie were sloppily done, crooked on his person.
"Jake," you smiled, motioning for him to come toward you. And when he was close enough, you yanked him even closer to you by his shoulders, causing him to let out a yelp.
"W-What are you doing?" he asked, unable to hide the panic in his voice.
You giggled again. Your hands began to work on his tie, undoing his sloppy tie and neatly folding it. "Relax, you big baby."
When you were done with his tie, you fixed Jake's hat, oblivious to the way Jake's ears and neck turned a noticeable shade of red.
"There you go," you said with a grin. "All good!"
Jake looked at you with shaky eyes. You were close to him now. Close enough that he could feel your breath fanning his cheeks. Close enough that if he just leaned in a bit more, he could kiss you— Jake jerked himself away from you abruptly. His heart was pounding in his chest at an abnormal rate.
Don't think about kissing her when she's right in front of you! he scolded himself. You gave him a questioning look, before you just grinned again and left the break room.
Ah, Jake was going crazy.
Man, fuck you Beomgyu! you mentally cursed your other coworker. You were absolutely correct; earlier he was indeed hogging the staff bathroom so that he could shirk his responsibilities. According to Jake, Beomgyu did this really often, to the point that the staff bathroom ran out of soap too fast because Beomgyu was busy playing with soap and making dumb ass bubbles in there.
Of all times, it had to be now that the staff bathroom just decided to run out of soap?
It was getting late, so your manager told you to start cleaning. And just as you began, some little unsupervised middle schooler skateboarded right into you, spilling his three scoops of chocolate ice cream with layers of caramel and peanut butter sauce all over your white uniform.
And all you were given were a few measly napkins to wipe but the sticky sweet mess, only after you cleaned up the mess on the floor. Now as you desperately tried to clean the mess off your uniform in the staff bathroom, you were certain that your manager was going to yell at you later.
As you reached for another hand towel from the dispenser, you let out a groan as you realized that there were no more. Seriously, what was Beomgyu doing in here that he just used up all the soap and paper towels?
"[Name]," you heard a knock on the door. It was Jake. "You good in there?"
You groaned again.
"No!" you cried from the other side of the door. You were frustrated, how bothersome! Even if there were more paper towels, there still was a giant brown stain on your shirt. And you'd probably have to get another uniform. "It looks like a shit stain!"
You heard Jake chuckle from the other side of the door, before his footsteps retreated. After a few minutes, Jake came back.
"Can I come in?" he asked, knocking again on the bathroom door.
"Door's unlocked."
Except, instead of seeing Jake in his usual work uniform, he had a big black hoodie thrown over him, probably one that he was wearing before he changed into his uniform earlier. In his hands was a white shirt.
"Wear this," he said as he shoved the white shirt into your hands.
It was his own uniform shirt.
"But—" you tried to reason with him, but he put his hand up, silencing you.
"Can't have you walking around with a shit stain on your shirt," he said with a cheeky grin, earning him a slap on the arm.
"But you'll get in trouble," you breathed. Your manager was really particular about workers wearing uniforms, and for some reason not about workers actually doing their job.
Jake shrugged. "It's about time I did." And flashed you another smile. "And plus, I was going to get in trouble anyway. Apparently, defending my coworker from a rude customer is punishable."
Ah, the unicorn ice cream incident from a few weeks ago.
Was he really that willing to get in trouble for you?
As you closed the door to the bathroom, you could already hear your manager and another coworker making their comments about Jake. Although you couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, it must have been the usual remarks about inefficiency. And probably about how he wasn't wearing work-appropriate clothes.
You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as you listened to their muffled voices.
Jake was really getting in trouble all for your sake.
As you buttoned up his white shirt, you noted that it carried the scent of his cologne. It smelled good, and you instinctively brought the sleeve up to your nose to catch a better whiff. But then you felt weird and stopped immediately.
It wasn't fair. Everything about your job.
You and Jake had to do all the work, but even so, the managers were disproportionately harsher with Jake than they were with you. Probably because of some sexist bullshit.
And then there were rude and entitled customers.
Jake was taking the fall for you too much.
And you couldn't keep letting it happen.
As you made your way out of the staff bathroom, you could hear your manager berating Jake, with another coworker joining in.
"And why are you not in our employee dress code?" your manager chided. "This is unacceptable! A hoodie? What do you think will happen to our store's brand?"
Jake just hung his head low, but you could tell he was annoyed more than anything. "It was because [Name]'s shirt got ruined, and she was uncomfortable."
"And what business do you have with [Name]?" your coworker joined in lambasting the poor Jake.
"Look, man," Jake looked up at them. "I was just helpin' her out." Jake paused for a moment. "And plus it's closing hours anyway. It's not like anyone sees me out of uniform."
Your manager and coworker thought for a few moments, before your coworker said, "Well, you're still causing a hindrance for our parlor. I think we will cut you weekly pay—"
His weekly pay? Ridiculous. Your body moved on its own, and before you knew it, you had bursted through the door.
"I-It was my fault!" you blurted, your lips moving faster than you could think. "Jake was just helping me."
You ignored the way Jake looked at you with eyes big as saucers, surprised. You swiped your tongue over your lip. "I-It's really my fault. If there's anyone that should get their weekly pay cut, it should be me."
Jake's face visibly contorted, his brows crashing together. "[Name]—"
"That's enough," your manager finally spoke up. The older man sighed, before checking his wrist watch. "Jake, [Name], just forget about it. Don't make this mistake again. Just close up for the night."
And with that, you and Jake were left alone once more.
"What was that all about?" Jake asked you as the two of you closed up.
"What was what?"
Jake huffed, leaning on the mop. "You know, what happened earlier about uniforms?"
"Oh." You shrugged, not really paying him any mind. "What about it?"
Jake huffed again. "Y'know... Why did you step in?"
You finally looked at him, before blinking a few times. "Isn’t it obvious?"
Jake smiled. "No, that’s why I’m asking you."
You scoffed playfully. "Okay, smartass."
You paused for a few moments. "You’re my friend, Jake. You’ve protected me in the past, so I'm just returning the favor."
"Thank you," Jake replied, unable to hide the smile growing on his face. "That's very kind of you.
You just hummed in response, going back to cleaning up.
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Jake teetered on his feet, back and forth, as he played with his fingers. His heart pounding in his chest, Jake chewed on his bottom lip.
He was nervous.
Just this morning, you texted him if he wanted to hang out with you, because as you said, you were bored.
Hanging out? With you? The hottest girl that he's ever seen? There was no way in hell that he'd say no to such a golden opportunity.
You'd told Jake to meet you at the pier, because there was a nice mall area around there. As you relayed in your texts, you were going on vacation in a few weeks, and needed to go shopping for it.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't have any ulterior motives. You weren't really sure how you felt about Jake. He was cute, and sweet, and you definitely wanted to get to know him better. And there was a part of you that desperately wanted to impress him.
Maybe today could be an opportunity for you.
You checked your reflection in the car window before you got out of your mom's car. Muttering a "bye," you made your way toward where you told Jake to meet you.
It was a sunny day. You chose to wear something breathable, a pretty pink sundress with a cardigan. You didn't dress like this on most days. You liked to opt for dark colors, but today you wanted to be... cute.
Pretty for Jake.
You spotted Jake pretty easily. Not because he had anything that made him physically easy to identify, not at all. It was more like... you simply could just spot him. It was like you had a newfound Jake-radar.
"Hi," you said with a smile. And for some reason, it seemed like Jake was startled, with his eyes widening as he caught sight of you. "Are you okay?"
Jake stared at you for a few moments, and you swore you saw the way his eyes looked you up and down. His lips parted, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he swiped his tongue over his lips.
You felt a twinge of embarrassment. You didn't wear light colors normally, was it obvious that this dress was not something that you usually wear? Did you look strange? Maybe you should've worn your typical black clothing, and—
"N-No," Jake stammered, his eyes still looking you up and down. Truth be told, he had to bite back a "damn." Because yes, damn, you looked hot. "You look— You look nice today."
Your cheeks prickled with warmth. "Oh. Thank you."
"You don't..." Jake continued, as if he was on autopilot. You were beginning to feel really shy when you realized that he was really staring at your chest area. "You don't wear pink often, do you?"
You averted your gaze. "You're right, I don't." How embarrassing! So he notices the things you wear... and he probably 100% knows that you don't wear pink at all. "Does it look weird, or—"
"No!" Jake blurted, before catching himself. He cleared his throat, his ears a warm shade of pink. "Not at all. I really, uh, meant it when I said— When I said you looked nice."
You nodded slowly. Was it normal to feel so warm? Maybe you should check the weather again?
"Really nice," Jake echoed himself. If you weren't busy feeling shy yourself, you would have noticed Jake checking you out for the 50th time already.
You murmured a brief "thanks," before you quickly changed the subject.
"Shall we go?"
It was unusual to feel awkward or shy around Jake, and vice versa. You knew for sure that Jake was a special person, but it never affected you. For Jake, he was determined to be calm and nonchalant when it came to you. And plus, your friendship was always casual anyway.
Which was why all of your shyness dissipated pretty quickly.
You took Jake along to all the spots at the pier's mall area.
"What are you looking for?" Jake asked as he trailed after you. Jake will never understand women. You've been to 4 stores already, and all you've done is touch things and say, 'Oh this is cute.' And then you'd leave.
You shrugged. "Cute things for vacation."
Jake looked around, through the store mirrors as you two traversed the mall area. "Any preferences?"
You shrugged again. "I like dark colors, but I don't mind brighter colors for vacation, yaknow?"
Jake hummed.
The two of you walked around for a little longer until you stopped in front of a store.
"What's this?" Jake asked.
You grinned. "A swimsuit store."
Listen, Jake wouldn't consider himself an easily-excitable guy. He wasn't pervy, either. Especially toward you! He was nonchalant!
But as he entered the girly swimsuit store, he couldn't help but redden at the thought of you in some of these swimsuits. Some of them were provocative and cheeky, making Jake's stomach do flips as his mind crept into places that made it hard for him to make eye contact with you. Other ones were cute and frilly, arguably making Jake's heart pound even faster as he imagined you in them.
"Hey, what do you think about this one?" you asked Jake as you took one of the suits off the rack.
On the inside, Jake was already drooling at the thought. But on the outside he simply nodded, giving a playful smile and a thumbs up. And really, he thought that if he could maintain that attitude for the rest of the time in this swimsuit store, he'd be fine.
But he was wrong.
"Okay, I'm gonna try these on, and I'll have you give me feedback."
What.
What?
And so Jake sat in the couches in front of the changing rooms, simply awaiting his death.
He's not weird, he swears. He doesn't want to be creepy or gross toward you.
But how could he not sweat and basically hyperventilate in these changing rooms when the hottest girl that he's ever seen (you) is about to ask him for his opinion on swimsuits?
Jake was certain that no matter what, you would look hot.
And he was proven correct when you slipped out of the changing rooms.
"Okay, first one," you said, in a voice that was a little too relaxed. You went on your tiptoes, doing a few turns here and there so that Jake could see the full extent of the suit on you. "What do you think?"
And oh.
Good lord.
Jake was really trying his best not to make you uncomfortable.
But there was absolutely no way that he could just sit there and not react. His jaw quite literally dropped the moment he saw you.
The way the suit hugged your body, the way the colors illuminated your skin, the way you were 100% feeling yourself in it— All of it was making Jake 2 seconds away from crashing out.
You must have been a goddess. Or maybe Jake saved a country in his past life.
"It looks— You look— I— You—" he stumbled over his words. There were no words to describe how you looked. You looked downright beautiful. Like, if Jake died now he wouldn't mind. And when you giggled at his reaction, he took a deep breath. Don't be a weirdo! he told himself.
"You look beautiful," he breathed, finally catching himself. His eyes flickered back up to your pretty, pretty face. "You look really beautiful in this one."
"Thank you," you smiled at him. You did another twirl, something that you definitely knew drove him crazy. And if you hadn't noticed him checking you out, Jake was certain that you definitely knew now.
And maybe Jake didn't know enough about women. Because he really believed that that one swimsuit was the only one that you were trying on.
And he was so wrong.
Because there were at least 3 more that you wanted to show him!
Oh, he wasn't going to survive this.
Well, Jake did survive.
After insisting on carrying your shopping bag full of your new swimsuits (Jake didn't dare peek inside because he thought he'd combust), you decided to do some more exploring.
You got some food to munch on, and went to all types of stores. And you took many pictures, too! Pictures together, of you trying on hats and sunglasses. Candid pictures of each other, many of which where you look pretty without even trying and Jake's mind is blown.
More exploring, walking, sitting down, walking, and then sitting for 30 minutes because both of your feet hurt. A lot of laughing, a lot of dumb conversations, and even more laughing.
And before you knew it, it was getting dark out. Suddenly, the sound of the waves crashing filled the air, the cool beach wind blowing against your cheeks. 
"Let's go walk along the shore!"
And so you did.
The orange sky was fading into a dark blue, and yet, the sun still shone so brightly as it submerged into the horizon. The water gently rocked against the shoreline, while the scent of sea salt and seaweed filled your senses.
It was a cool evening, and you tugged on the sleeves of your cardigan to warm your cold hands.
By now, the beach was quiet. Many people had already left, as it was slowly becoming nighttime.
In quiet moments like this, you couldn't help but fully conceptualize Jake as a person.
He was a handsome boy your age. He was kind, sweet, responsible, silly, everything great in a person. And he had a similar music taste to you, too. And here he was, walking alongside you as the sun set.
Your eyes fluttered over to him. His eyes were trained on the sand below his feet, appreciating the way the wet granules covered his skin.
He was a straightforward person. Things went from A to B with him easily. No games, nothing to hide. And yet, you felt like there was so much to discover about him. There was an entire world undiscovered in his head. And you wanted to be a part of it.
"What are you thinking about?" you asked suddenly, interrupting the calm silence.
"You."
.
.
.
You?
You could feel your heart picking up speed, but you kept your composure. Meanwhile, you swore your skin was prickling with an uncharacteristic warmth.
"I-I mean—" Jake seemed to snap out of his daze. "I— I was just thinking about you, and work, and summer, and—"
You blinked, but your lips spread into a tight smile. You didn't know why you felt disappointed.
You sucked in a breath. "The water's really nice tonight."
"Mhm," Jake agreed. He wasn't blind. He could see the way your face fell ever so slightly. He could see when you felt flustered or shy because of him.
But what if he was misinterpreting things? What if his eyes were playing tricks on him?
But then you'd look up at him with those shiny eyes, almost like you were begging him to give you his heart.
Just go for it.
His eyes dropped to your hands, which were still tugging on your sleeves to keep warm.
Jake clicked his tongue. Boldly, he grabbed your hands, clasping them in yours.
"Hey!" you cried.
"Geez, your hands are so cold," he murmured, before locking his fingers with one of your hands. As if nothing happened, Jake just continued walking along the shore, this time with your hand in his.
You stared at your interlocked fingers for a few moments, before you swallowed all of your shyness and continued trailing with him.
The two of you returned to walking in silence, nothing but the sound of the water and your breaths filling the air.
Jake wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you, because he really. He always was. And just as he was about to fall back into thought, your hand pulled away from his.
With curious eyes, Jake watched as you silently pulled out a tiny plastic case from your purse.
Your earbuds.
You plugged them into your phone, before jamming one of the buds into your own ear. You looked at Jake expectantly, and he took the second earbud graciously.
You bit back a laugh as you turned on your music.
The second you pressed 'play,' a hardy bass and an unforgettable drumline played into your ears.
"Are you serious?" Jake immediately snapped his head at you. "Fleetwood Mac?!"
You laughed, throwing your head back. "I wasn't about to let you ruin the beach vibe and play Bon Jovi."
"I don't only listen to Bon Jovi—!"
And just as you and Jake were enjoying music, the beach, and most importantly, each other, Jake's phone rang. And of course, his ringtone was a Bon Jovi song.
You gave him a look as his lips spread into a goofy smile.
Not daring to tear out the earbud, he picked up his phone and listened with his other ear.
And even though it was nearly nighttime by now, you could still see how Jake's face morphed.
When he hung up, his face dropped.
"They need me to take someone's shift."
Oh.
This was really, very, genuinely, seriously annoying.
Because unfortunately, the truth was that if they needed Jake to work, then they probably needed you to work too.
Because they always needed you and Jake to work.
And so, here your (not-so official) date was ending.
Apparently, it was extremely urgent, and they insisted on paying Jake extra if he came. Not to worry, because he texted your manager to make sure that you'd get extra pay if you came along, too.
The moment that you stepped into the parlor, you could feel all the joy leaving your body. You swore that Layla’s Ice Cream Parlor had evil spirits in there, designed specifically to simply fill your body with dread.
You put on one of the spare work uniforms that the parlor had in the back. It was a little big, and a little itchy, but whatever.
When Jake got the phone call and explained to you the situation, you were fully expecting a packed parlor, with a line that went out the door and your incompetent coworkers couldn't handle it, or something. But now that you were in the parlor, you realized that that was just a load of bullshit.
"Empty," Jake muttered behind you. "There is absolutely no one here."
You hummed in agreement, equally deadpan.
Those lazy bums.
They just didn't want to work the closing shift. They just didn't want to do the cleaning or locking up. They just wanted you to take their shifts so that they could go home and relax.
And so here you two were, just lazing around in the breakroom, just trying to pass the time. You let your phone play some random playlist.
"I'm sorry," Jake said, with his cheek pressed against the breakroom table. "We were hanging out and I decided to take us to work."
"Nah, you're justified," you said lazily. "They're promising us extra pay, so it's fine."
The room went silent again, but you could tell Jake was thinking something. And indeed, he was.
Jake felt horrible! Although you did agree to come to work with him, he still felt back. Did he just fumble your first (unofficial) date? God, he's so stupid! Now you two were stuck in the worst place on earth.
He stared at your bored expression.
He couldn't let you stay bored.
Without a word, he got up from his seat in the breakroom and disappeared out to the front. You could hear some cluttering and buzzing.
"Close your eyes!" he yelled before he came back to where you were in the breakroom. And you complied.
"What are you doing, Jake?" you asked, but you couldn't help but smile. He was definitely up to some antics.
"Just close your eyes," he instructed you, before sitting down with you at the breakroom table again.
Jake clasped his hands together. "I have three cups of ice cream here. You will close your eyes and guess which one is which."
You let out an exasperated sigh. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Jake laughed. "We can't get bored in here."
You chuckled. "Okay, fine."
Jake watched you intently as he spoon-fed you the first spoonful of ice cream.
The first flavor was strawberry, your personal favorite.
Maybe it was getting late, or maybe Jake was just too obsessed with you, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the way your pretty lips opened up for the ice cream. He was simply so mesmerized by the way you licked your lips, relishing in the way the sweet strawberry ice cream melted on your tastebuds.
"This is so obvious," you nudged him, kicking him from under the table. "At least make it hard for me!"
Jake rolled his eyes playfully. "Just guess!"
You huffed, mumbling something about him being stupid under your breath. "Strawberry. Duh."
"Woo hoo!" Jake cheered for you. "It was strawberry!"
"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
The second flavor was ube. Which you guessed almost immediately.
"Next flavor, please," you giggled. "This game is too easy,"
But Jake wasn't listening to you in the slightest.
Just why did you have to start licking the spoon clean? The way your glossy lips wrapped around the spoon, your tongue wrapping around the smooth plastic, and now he was feeling all types of things, and—
"Seriously, make it harder for me!"
Jake gulped.
The last flavor he had was salted caramel. His own personal favorite.
He'd already taken a few bites out of it.
He glanced at your lips, then down at the salted caramel ice cream.
Even under the corporate light of the break room, you still glowed so prettily. And you must have been doing it on purpose, the way you were keeping the spoon in your mouth, with your lips wrapped around it so prettily.
Jake's eyes flickered back to your lips once more, then to the salted caramel ice cream.
His heart was already pounding in his chest. All the blood was rushing to his head and Jake thought that he'd faint.
Your lips were just so damn pretty.
It seemed like something was possessing Jake's body. While his mind was frozen on your lips, his body was moving on its own.
He reached out for you first, his large hand taking solace on your shoulder.
And in one, fluid motion, Jake leaned in, and closed the gap between his lips and yours.
Your lips were soft and sweet, like clouds. Jake's eyes had unconsciously fallen shut, and the moment that he realized that he was kissing you, they shot open. However, just as he was about to pull away, because oh my god he was kissing you, and he didn't even ask!, Jake felt your hand slither up around his neck.
You pulled him in even closer, deepening the kiss.
Jake felt dizzy. It was the way your tongue dipped into his mouth when he let out a little gasp. Or maybe it was the way your fingers ran through his hair, almost as if you were desperate to keep his lips on yours. Your everything— your hands, your lips, your scent— they were all driving him insane.
Jake didn't want it to end, and if it weren't for his need for air, he wouldn't have pulled away. Ever.
The two of you sat there, breathless, staring into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Jake's cheeks were red, his pupils blown out with desire. His eyes fell down to your lips.
"Salted caramel," you breathed, your hands sliding down to his shoulders. You squeezed his shoulders. "You taste like salted caramel— kiss me if that's the answer—"
And you didn't need to ask him twice, because Jake was already crashing his lips against yours.
There was something so addictive about your lips. The way you moaned against his lips, the way you clung onto him like you needed him, it was all driving him crazy.
Jake needed more, he needed you.
In his head, it was all just you, you, you.
"I want you so bad," Jake mumbled against your lips. "Please."
He could feel you giggle, but he simply just slides his hand around your waist to pull you closer.
Your lips moved against his in ways that were too perfect to be real. Jake felt like he was in heaven. You were heaven. You were angelic, you were godly, you were—
"Um, excuse me, are you guys still open?"
!!!
You and Jake jumped away from each other.
Shit.
It was still store hours.
"Are we going to get fired?"
Now it was actually closing hours.
You and Jake started cleaning after you were so rudely interrupted, and now it was time to close up.
And it was awkward.
Your heart was practically leaping out of your chest. It felt like forever since you shared your kisses with Jake. And now, you craved his lips once more.
But what if it was just on the whim? What if Jake just did it to do it?
You just wanted him so bad. You wanted to kiss him again, you wanted to feel him again.
"For what?"
You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes refusing to meet Jake's.
"Kissing coworkers."
"No!" Jake's cheeks flared up. "Of course not!"
"Then..." your brows furrowed. Your face felt hot to the touch. You felt like you were going to get a heart attack. Seriously, you felt like you were burning up, all the while you felt frozen in time and space. You slowly looked up at Jake. "Then can we... you know... keep doing it?"
.
.
.
"I— I mean, if you don't mind— and if it's not something that we could get fired for—" you stammered— "Then can we... you know— can we keep kissing?"
Jake was already on it.
“Eek, Jake, lock the doors first!”
After a few more weeks of hiding in the storage closet to makeout, and honestly straight up shirking your responsibilities to kiss in the breakroom, you and Jake did the unthinkable.
"We resign!"
Your manager looked at you incredulously. "W-What?"
You and Jake smiled. "We quit."
You've never felt more free. With your boyfriend at your side, it seemed like the summer was endless.
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BONUS
"Did I ever tell you that I liked you?" you asked Jake, in his car just moments after you quit your job.
"I don't think you did, babe," Jake laughed.
"Oh."
You should probably put that on your to-do list.
You glanced at your boyfriend. How his lips looked so kissable.
Sigh. You'll tell him what you like later. It's time to kiss!
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note: please reblog n comment if you enjoyed! xoxo vanya >_<
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seat-safety-switch · 23 hours ago
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"Oh shit, my career!" shouted one of the interns in the bullpen when it becomes obvious immediately what had happened. Yes, Justin. You had now learned a new and uncomfortable truth about working for the Man, and your working life will never be the same again. And it all started because he didn't follow the mandatory security training that every employee needs to click through while half-paying attention.
Yes indeed. In a past life, I was an information-technology security specialist. For those of you in the back who have led worthwhile existences, these words may not make sense to you. Others are not so lucky, and at this moment are rolling their eyes, or looking for the closest exits. We are, or were, the folks who force you to use a password that isn't "password," and stop sending emails containing the company's bank information to Inner Somalia.
Being in information security is a lot like being a regular old computer nerd, except you're also incredibly paranoid. Imagine you live in a house full of vicious, murderous ghosts that only you can see, and all your family members keep doing horror movie cliche shit like leaving the doors open, shaking genie lamps they find in the parking lot, and reciting "Bloody Mary" three times into a bathroom mirror. You gotta keep them safe, which slowly drives you insane over the course of, oh, about your first six weeks of employment. After that, you've basically just given up and are like the hardened firefighters who respond to grisly highway accidents with an encyclopedic knowledge of what kind of solvent cleans what kind of human fluid off the roadway.
Back to Justin: part of our paranoia involved doing elaborate role-playing exercises. Some of our nerds would pretend to be a different kind of nerd, and try to talk themselves into places they didn't belong. The idea is that a horrible criminal or cyberterrorist could also use this rarefied power ("Hi, I'm the guy who is supposed to fix the servers. They're not serving. Please show me where the servers are, and leave me alone with them for several hours") and we needed to figure out who was dumb enough to fall for it. Justin was dumb enough to fall for it.
If only he had paid attention to the mandatory security quiz that we made him click through, this all could have been avoided. Everything ended up well for him, though. The whole experience made Justin incredibly, violently paranoid, which made him a perfect candidate to become a information technology security specialist. The system works!
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withercrown · 2 days ago
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The worst thing about the reductive argument about whether Vander and Silco are "brothers" is that everyone involved misrepresents what that word actually means, and as a historian I have had enough.
"Brothers" is not meant to evoke either actual brothers (they are just simply not brothers, either by blood or adoption) or brothers-in-arms (this is a militaristic concept which is not appropriate imo).
The kind of 'brotherhood' they share is specifically revolutionary/national brotherhood.
The French flavoring of the show—everything from the graffiti to the architecture of Piltover (it's just Paris, guys) to the revolutionary imagery—is one of the things I love most about Arcane. Fortiche is a French studio. They wove their own history and culture into their work.
What's the single most famous phrase associated with the French Revolution?
"Liberté, égalité, fraternité".
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This motto was popularized by Robespierre in a speech he gave in 1790. It encapsulated the spirit of the French Revolution so completely that it became institutionalized as the national motto of France to this day. The concept of brotherhood in an explicitly French revolutionary setting is not ambiguous and we are not going to pretend that it is.
"Men of all countries are brothers, he who oppresses one nation declares himself the enemy of all." -Maximilien Robespierre, speech delivered April 24, 1793
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During the Revolutionary period, it was the feeling of belonging to a common struggle among the people of France, all together, united as brothers, by their beliefs and their nationality: This struggle was led internally in France against the absolute monarchy, which had to be toppled. Source: France Diplomacy, Liberty – Equality – Fraternity
We have got to start thinking about why the creators might want to emphasize the revolutionary brotherhood between Silco and Vander so strongly. Fraternité was arguably the most actively dangerous part of the triad:
Fraternité was sometimes styled as “fraternité ou la mort” — “brotherhood or death.” This “you’re with us or you’re against us” mentality, cloaked in the ideals of freedom and enlightenment, would go on to fuel one of the bloodiest episodes in France’s history: the Reign of Terror. Source: Liberté, égalité, fraternité: French Political History and THE PLAGUE
Fraternity is not a toothless concept. This isn't about picking a brother and a sister and maybe a mommy and a daddy. This led directly to the beheading of the King and Queen of France and their son, and to a political slaughter severe enough to be named the Reign of Terror by historians. 30,000 people died, 17,000 by execution. These guys were not messing around. Again: this is France's (and Haiti's) motto today. You can go to France right now and see this all over their buildings and monuments.
Vander and Silco diverged on this point. When they speak to one another, they use the past tense. You were my brother. They no longer see each other as being part of the same vision. They no longer interpret brotherhood in a way that includes one another.
Fraternité ou la mort is practically a thesis statement for Silco's character. He lives and dies on his sense of brotherhood—and in fact, choosing his daughter over Zaun and his sense of revolutionary brotherhood directly and almost immediately results in his death.
(Not so incidentally, in making the choice of Jinx over Zaun, he refers to Vander as brother again, as their visions have finally come back into alignment.)
(they're both still wrong tho)
It's not enough to say they were brothers-in-arms. It's also not textually supported to say they were siblings. Their relationship to one another was defined through their commitment to Zaun, and their relationship with the fraternity promised by that dream.
I think there is a broad scope for valid interpretations of their relationship, btw—from revolutionary brothers to best friends to boyfriends. I am just so tired of seeing the same points repeated ad nauseam about the word 'brother' when it isn't really ambiguous at all what was intended, and learning that information is just France 101.
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adieutristana · 19 hours ago
Note
Hii
Can you make Arcane women X Reader who became blind or deaf in an accident trying to protect them?
I love your writing and sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language
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of course! thank you for the request, and your kind words <3
disclaimer that i am neither blind nor deaf but chose deaf because i know it better (family members). i tried my best but the last thing i want to do is be disrespectful, please let me know if you have any feedback.
summary; headcanons of arcane women with fem! reader who went deaf protecting them.
characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn.
warnings/tags; mentions of war/combat, injury, medical talk (mel), hurt/comfort, fluff
men dni.
jinx;
✧.* your first time being caught in crossfire was nothing short of terrifying. jinx's ego is inflated beyond belief, even going as far as to say she just can't seem to die. but it doesn't make you any less fearful for her safety, or more importantly, her life.
✧.* she's got another enforcer on her back, chasing her through the lanes as she repeatedly tries to fire her gun to fend them off. it's not seeming to work, though. she's panting, her legs threatening to give out underneath her, but she can't stop moving. not now.
✧.* you happen to be walking by after running an errand, and seeing jinx zip past you is concerning, to say the least. you decide to shift gears to follow after her, clutching a bag of produce to your chest as you run. but god, jinx is fast.
✧.* you finally manage to catch up to jinx, long, blue braids trailing behind her as a sort of unintentional tracker.
✧.* "jinx- jinx, what's going on?"
✧.* "damn enforcer... won't leave me alone... it'll be fine, i've got this taken care of." she says through gritted teeth, weaving in and out of different alleyways with expert speed.
✧.* the enforcer is approaching behind the two of you, closer and closer. you forcefully take jinx's elbow and shove her behind you, fully blocking her body. and then, the impact.
✧.* you're not even sure what happened- just the next thing you know, there's an enforcer with several holes in their body, and jinx is knelt in front of you. trying to speak to you, but it's like the world's gone silent.
✧.* "what? i don't understand... what's going on," you mutter, half to yourself, and half to jinx. but you quickly realize that you can't hear yourself speaking, and you can't hear her voice, despite the fact that she looks distraught over you. you're bleeding, the shock of it all stopping most of the pain, yet it just doesn't feel real.
✧.* jinx quickly grabs your shoulders and guides you back to her hideout. it's obvious that you're shaken up and in a haze, the last thing your girlfriend would want is you trying to find your way there by yourself in this state.
✧.* she sits you on a tattered couch, getting her (your) first aid kit out to hastily patch you up. you're looking at her hands working quickly on your wounds, but don't notice the fact that she's trying to ask if you're okay, if you're hurting, if you can forgive her for not being able to stop you from getting hurt. she looks up at you, dark lips pressed into a thin line. her brows are furrowed, searching your expression.
✧.* "i... can't hear anything." you say, although again, you can't hear the sound of your own voice.
✧.* jinx's eyebrows raise this time, but she quickly finishes wrapping your injuries without another word.
✧.* jinx is used to communicating non-verbally since taking in isha, but she wants to be sure of how you'd prefer to do it. first she'll make sure you don't have any lasting injuries, apologize profusely to you for everything despite going unheard. then, she'll start writing things down for you to tell you.
✧.* before long, you and jinx are making your own system of signs. you'd had to take up sign language classes, but jinx wanted to be able to communicate with you more intimately. whether you wanted to speak to her or no longer speak at all, she wants you to have that option.
✧.* 100% blasts her music even louder when you're around. she'd read something about deaf people being able to enjoy music via vibrations of the floor, so she keeps that in mind. most of the time she just plays 'get jinxed,' but the thought is there.
✧.* jinx ultimately just wants to help you get back on your feet and adjust after the accident. she thanks you profusely for protecting her like that, apologizing in the same breaths. naturally, some things in your lives will have to change, but she just wants you to be able to get back to living your life.
vi;
✧.* being with vi means being okay with her coming home with various bruises, cuts, scrapes, even sprains and broken bones from time to time. she can't always explain every injury, memory fuzzy from the series of events the day held. but regardless, she'll let you wrap her up, massage her, take care of her. it's nice to be doted on for a change.
✧.* vi's one and only strict rule is that you are not allowed to get involved in any of the fighting she does. even if it's something as seemingly harmless as standing before the council, you can never truly know what'll happen. you stay home, or at work, anywhere but where vi is getting into a fight. the last thing she wants is to see you hurt the way she gets hurt.
✧.* but this time, you decided not to listen. go behind your girlfriend's back. she's got a particularly dangerous job in the lanes, something about negotiation...? but it's the person she's negotiating with that worries you. so you decide to trail behind vi, staying a few feet behind her so that she doesn't notice you. it's harmless just this once, right? it's not like you're actually fighting, you're just making sure she's okay.
✧.* at first, things seem to be going well. a famous dealer of shimmer, someone she's decided to try and take on in an effort to slow the supply in zaun. you can't make out anything they're saying, but no punches are being thrown. that's always a good thing.
✧.* until they are.
✧.* vi has her gauntlets, striking and dodging with expert speed. you've seen vi before in pit fights that she allowed you to attend, but it always surprises you just how strong the girl is. she's like the human equivalent of a tank.
✧.* you inch closer, until you're peeking out from behind a corner at vi and the man. she seems to be holding her own so far, but you can't help the overwhelming dread enveloping you.
✧.* a punch is thrown by the man that makes your heart drop, and you immediately rush to jump in front of vi, guarding her with your body.
✧.* "babe, what are you doing-" she gasps, before you're hit several times, over and over. her eyes blown wide, vi leaves your side for just a moment to take the man down. she understands now that it's pointless, someone like this can't be reasoned with. she's not sure why she even tried, especially seeing you hurt like this.
✧.* vi kneels down beside you, wrapping both arms around you before quickly helping you up. she takes one of your arms around her shoulder, supporting your weight as she brings you home. she doesn't try to pry, try to talk to you, her mind focused on just getting you to safety.
✧.* the second she gets you through the door, vi sits you down on your bed, grabbing a kit to patch you up. still silent, still focused, her eyes unmoving. she seems strangely stoic, but you chalk it up to her just being absorbed in what she's doing.
✧.* finally, she looks up at you, and asks, "do you feel alright, baby?"
✧.* you furrow your brows, trying to make out what she's asking you, but you simply can't. everything is silent, and you don't know why, and you wish so badly to hear her voice. your lips are parted, but no words come out.
✧.* "baby?"
✧.* "i... everything is quiet." you mutter. vi’s eyes go wide, but she immediately catches onto what you’re saying- and scrambles for any way that she can talk to you. writing at first, but she listens intently as you speak and tell her exactly what you need. her first priority is helping you heal from your external injuries, her second is to help you adjust.
✧.* vi wasn’t really given a formal education, but she will seek out a local class or group so that she can learn sign language for you. the last thing she wants is to not be able to properly communicate with you. given, she doesn’t know much about deafness or hearing loss, but she’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re able to get back on your feet.
✧.* generally, though, she tries not to mention the accident too much. she knows it’s a sore spot for you, and she also doesn’t want to reduce you to the fact that you lost your hearing. you’re still the same girl that she fell in love with.
✧.* however, vi is eternally grateful for the way you protected her that day. she doesn’t know what could’ve happened to her if you didn’t.
mel;
✧.* it happened during the attack on the council.
✧.* you were overseeing the meeting regarding the independence of zaun, a peace treaty of sorts. your girlfriend frequently invited you to sit in on meetings, saying that it was important for you to be aware of what’s going on in the city. part of you thinks she just wants an excuse to spend more time with you, though.
✧.* one second you're watching spotlights flicker as council members make their decisions, the next second you hear glass shattering and screams. you're throwing yourself over mel's form to soften the blow to her. and then- nothing.
✧.* you wake up in a stiff bed, your back feeling as if it's on fire, various tubes and wires sticking out of you. you look around, vision clouded, taking in your surroundings. a bland-looking room with white curtains, the air dry, a vase of flowers on a table, and a chair beside your bed. with mel sitting in it.
✧.* "darling, you're awake," she breathes out, reaching for your hand. she wants more than anything to bring you close, to hold you to her and never let go, but she can't do that right now. not while you're in this condition.
✧.* you squeeze her hand, but you don't register what she's said. you can't hear anything, in fact, and it's... strange.
✧.* you just look at mel, your expression still. she's searching for something, anything.
✧.* "...please, darling, say something."
✧.* "i can't hear you, mel." you state.
✧.* it doesn't take long for mel to catch onto what's happened, likely due to how many tragedies she's seen in her life. she's seen people lose their vision, movement in their bodies, limbs, and their hearing.
✧.* mel squeezes your hand back, a pained look in her eyes, but she's just grateful that this is the worst thing that came of the explosion. her first priority is getting all of your external wounds healed, getting you back to a state where she can finally take you home and hold you the way she aches to.
✧.* in the meantime, mel hires one of the best sign tutors in piltover (she can't be bothered to take a group class) to teach both you and her. the last thing she wants is for you two to not be able to communicate, even if you insist that you can (sometimes) read her lips.
✧.* the second the doctor says you're in good enough health to go home, mel is gathering your things and rushing you home. she's fussing over you, making sure you're okay to walk after being in bed for so long, peppering your face with gentle kisses and no doubt leaving some of her lip gloss behind.
✧.* mel does still want you to sit in on council meetings, despite everything. internally, she feels horrible for your sacrifice and selflessness. but she doesn't bring it up- she doesn't want for you to feel guilty or bring up any bad memories. she does hire an interpreter to sit in as well, so that you can still follow along.
✧.* mel also is careful to let you know that she's in the room before touching you. one of her favorite things used to be wrapping her arms around your waist from behind, nestling her face into the crook of your neck and pressing gentle kisses to sensitive skin. but she realizes that may startle you now, so she'll make sure that you can see her before doing anything.
✧.* your girlfriend overall is just very caring, very doting, as always. she's always been an attentive and devoted lover, wanting to make sure that you're comfortable and most importantly happy.
sevika;
✧.* it was during the rally in zaun, near vander's statue. all was well, you were stood next to your girlfriend as she spoke to a crowd of various groups- jinxers, traders, silco's former allies... your hand on the small of her back to reassure her as she spoke.
✧.* until enforcers raided the rally, full tactical gear and brute force. the crowd immediately disperses, some being thrown to the ground, others shoved against fences and handcuffed- and the second a spear was thrown at sevika, you knew you had to do something.
✧.* sevika was always insistent that you allow her to do the hard work. she's used to defending others, throwing herself in the face of danger and taking the worst of everything. she did it for silco, she did it for jinx, hell, she does it for you.
✧.* before she could protest or push you out of the way, you were throwing yourself in front of sevika, taking all of the blows directed at her. the instant she realized what you were doing, she was gripping your shoulders, trying to shove you away from her, saying "i've got this, move," and asking what the hell you think you're doing. but you won't budge.
✧.* you just keep taking it, hit after hit, wincing and screaming out in pain, but you can't bear to see sevika hurt. not anymore than she already has been.
✧.* the next moment you remember is waking up in your girlfriend's lap, her cradling your head, brows knitted together in painful concern. it hurts her to see you like this. the second you begin to blink your eyes open, she's holding you close to her chest.
✧.* she pulls back slightly to look at you, just taking in your features. god, sevika is just so grateful that you're alive, that you aren't hurt too badly. you're bruised, you were beaten, you have a few cuts and gashes, but it seems like she's gotten those cleaned up while you were unconscious.
✧.* "dove? are you okay? please, talk to me."
✧.* you wince slightly, your lips parted. sevika is trying to say... something, but you're not able to understand any of it.
✧.* "i don't- i don't understand..." you breathe out, and then you realize that you can't hear your own voice either.
✧.* "what don't you understand?" she asks, but you still can't quite make out what she's asking you. what you can see is that her expression is growing more and more frantic.
✧.* "i can't hear you, sev. i can't... hear anything." you say, hoping to god she understands what you're getting at.
✧.* her eyes widen, but sevika's expression quickly softens. she knows more than most people do what it's like to lose something in battle, having lost an arm protecting silco from one of powder's bombs nearly a decade ago. she sighs, pressing her lips into a thin line, and nods. she doesn't say anything further, but helps you onto your feet so that she can make sure you're fully there after being out for so long.
✧.* first thing she does the next morning is seek out some kind of resources for sign language. she's not the type of woman to take formal classes normally, so she'll stop by the only (run down) public library in zaun and begin to teach herself. it does take some time, but she gets there, and eventually she's at your level (although you went to an actual class).
✧.* similar to mel, she'll let you know that she's in the room before touching you in any way. one of sevika's favorite things to do is brush the small of your back from behind, give you lingering touches in the morning after she's woken up and you're already cooking breakfast. but she knows you'd probably jump out of your skin now that you can't hear her behind you, so she'll do whatever she can to avoid that.
✧.* as i've said many times, i do imagine that sevika is a pretty soft and gentle lover the majority of the time. this transcends into this, but above all, she wants you to just adjust. life goes on, you learn how to live with what you've lost and work around it. she knows that very well from experience.
caitlyn;
✧.* you were caught in crossfire of one of the many shootouts between noxian forces and piltover's soldiers. you had never been a violent or confrontational person, preferring to watch from the sidelines and let your girlfriend take care of the dirty work. that didn't mean that you didn't have opinions, but you opted to stay behind the scenes.
✧.* lately, though, caitlyn has been coming home with worse and worse injuries. at first it was a few cuts, a few gashes, but then it's stab wounds, bullet holes in her arms and sides. it's a miracle how she hasn't been vitally wounded, but you don't want to wait until that actually does happen.
✧.* so one day, you insist on letting you come with her. caitlyn tries to protest, tries to persuade you to just stay home, or go out to local shops, or take yourself out to eat, anything but putting yourself in the face of violence with her. but you're relentless, you won't have any of it- so finally, she gives in.
✧.* "stay at a distance, okay? the last thing that i want is for you to get beaten up like i do."
✧.* you try to listen, you really do. but with ambessa, noxian forces, soldiers coming at caitlyn and topside's soldiers from all directions, it's hard to not want to do something. the battle is getting more heated, caitlyn moves with frightening speed and accuracy. but it's not enough, not this time.
✧.* your eyes don't know where to look, don't know what to focus on. you can hardly keep up with everything, especially from where you're standing, but you finally decide to step in. you can't bear to see caitlyn get hurt anymore, and you can't even begin to comprehend the idea of losing her because of this.
✧.* it all goes by in a flash. you in front of caitlyn, the woman screaming your name, being shoved to the ground, sharp pains, then nothing.
✧.* you wake up in caitlyn's bed, surrounded by bouquets she got you and with her sitting on the edge of the bed. the second that she registers you're regaining consciousness, she can only smile down at you with tears pricking at her eyes.
✧.* "oh, thank gods you're awake," she breathes out, immediately reaching to take your hand and intertwine your fingers with hers, calloused thumb running across the back of your hand.
✧.* what's strange is that you can feel caitlyn's hand against yours, you can see her lips moving, but you can't hear anything, and it's driving you crazy. clearly she's trying to say something to you, but it's inaudible. everything is.
✧.* she furrows her brows, waiting for your response. normally, you don't take this long, but you're just... staring at her, your expression unmoving.
✧.* "dear?" she asks, her face growing visibly worried.
✧.* "i don't know what you're trying to say, cait, i- i'm sorry." you whisper. "i can't hear a thing."
✧.* caitlyn is a smart girl. she takes a moment to process what you've said, but it does click in her mind pretty quickly. you've lost your hearing. a million thoughts swirl through her head, about learning how to effectively communicate with you, how to adjust around this, but she can't get ahead of herself. she just sighs, gently brushing her lips against your forehead and letting you continue to rest.
✧.* however, similar to mel, caitlyn hires a sign teacher to teach both of you. cait is very immersed, practicing with you whenever possible. it's not only a good bonding experience, but it helps her be able to accommodate you better.
✧.* absolutely doesn't let you go on any more missions with her, though. not that you'd ask- but if you did, the answer would be an immediate no. neither of you really speak about what you did that day.
✧.* caitlyn is grateful that you jumped in to defend her, knowing she likely would've suffered worse in her own wounded state. but it's a sore spot for both of you.
✧.* caitlyn is also very well-researched, so she does go to some archives to read about hearing loss and how to build something around it. that's all she wants for you, really, to be able to make something out of this. she doesn't want to coddle you, doesn't want to give you sympathy that she knows you don't need. she's grateful that you came out the other end with your life intact.
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dronningreid · 2 days ago
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6 AM
After a good night of free drinks at a bar, reader wakes up in a bed that looks nothing like her own. Maybe that mistake isn't so bad after all.
who? Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
category: smut (that sounds really bad 😭) and flangst? (my specialty). Whatever (+18) (But it ISN'T the main focus)
warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f! receives), mentions of alcohol and hangover and I think that's it. English is not my first language.
word count: 2.5K
a/n: Writing this made me feel shame and laugh 😭 Anyway, I hope you like this. I stole the title from a song that I almost don't like but it's very this. I also sacrificed myself for the team by getting drunk on Christmas to write this better (it wasn't a good experience, but what am I saying? I'm very committed to my work). Oh and happy almost new year!
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Every story has a beginning and how much you wish you could remember the beginning of this.
A ray of sunshine.
That's what woke you up, a ray of sunshine. But not the kind that sneak in through the window and burn your eyes even when they are closed. What woke you up was the warmth of the arm that wrapped around your torso from behind, that kind of sunshine.
You look at the clock and it's damn 6 AM. You didn't expect to start the year so early but there you were.
You relaxed when you feel a warm breath touching your skin. For a moment you felt so fine, until that horrible headache made it difficult to make sense of where you were, but you could remember the ghostly sensations, the pressure against the mattress, his hands running over every corner of your skin and the way the sheets molded with every movement.
You craned your head slightly to get some clues about your surroundings and then the clothes on the floor became visible in your field of vision.
Damn it.
It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened the night before.
You tried to get out of the grip of the mysterious man you spent the night with, but...
He pulled you towards him again, this time with more force. "Please don't go." He pleaded, but he was still somewhat asleep.
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
You recognized that beautiful voice immediately. It being a random guy was a bad thing but Spencer? that was worse.
A wave of panic and guilt ran through you. Now what the hell were you going to do?
You looked at him sideways, first at his lips, and just looking at them made you remember how they felt on your skin.
And then you saw his nose...
"Spence." You whispered in the darkness, you couldn't see him but of course you could feel him.
His hands were resting on your thighs, while his tongue took everything so well like a good boy. But his nose, his nose was buried deep in you, rubbing against your sensitive clit.
Were you dizzy from the pleasure or from the alcohol? Maybe both.
Your fingers tangled in his locks, causing his moan to echo through your walls. That made you shiver, but god it felt so good.
His tongue continued to play through the wetness and when you looked at him you knew that you had let him cross boundaries that a friend should never cross. But you were too drunk to tell him to stop? No, that was an excuse, because in reality both been drunk a lot.
You let him continue for the pleasure and because he was Spencer. There was no one else on this earth you could trust enough to do something so intimate, so personal.
He tightened his grip on your thighs as his tongue movements became more desperate. And he didn't stop until he had you cumming in his mouth.
You blinked a few times before coming back to the present, your memories were so fragmented at the moment that it was best not to put pressure on your mind.
Spencer looked so calm while was asleep, you didn't even know why but you started counting his eyelashes.
That would have been a perfect morning. But one question kept nagging at your brain. How did you get into his bed?
Very simple, it all happened while everyone was on the jet, returning from a case.
"I just hope there isn't another case. It's New Year's Eve, we should be celebrating and not catching serial killers." Emily said. "I'll ask for a raise." Then she brought the glass of whiskey to her mouth.
"Prentiss, you haven't even been with us that long." Morgan let out a light laugh.
"It's been a tough year." You supported Emily. And it was true, Elle and Gideon left a void that no new face could fill. But luckily Emily was Emily, Rossi was Rossi. Neither of them intended to fill the void they left.
"Yes indeed," Rossi added to the conversation. "Drinks at O'Keefe on me, who's coming?" And there was the monetary contribution, maybe your favorite thing about him?
You, Emily and Morgan were quick to raise your hands.
Hotch laughed lightly. "I'll pass, I want to visit Jack."
You stood up from your seat on the jet to approach Reid. "And you? Come?" You gave him a slight nudge with your shoulder. "Or you have a secret son that I don't know about."
Reid shook his head in amusement before setting his book down on his lap. "I don't know, I'm tired."
"Come on." You gave him puppy dog eyes. "And I'll take you back to your apartment."
"Don't know..." He bit his lower lip.
"Oh come on, who's gonna tell me random facts all night? Morgan?" You insistent.
"I heard you!" Morgan shouted from the other side of the jet.
Reid chuckled. "Of course not, that's my place in your life. Besides, he already has Penelope."
You looked at him with hopeful eyes. "So you're coming?"
He shrugged. "I haven't another choice."
One, two, three. Happy New Year!
By that time you and him were already so drunk. Everything was spinning around and both had laughed at every stupid thing Morgan said, that wasn't a very good sign.
You helped Reid into the taxi, almost falling with him in the process. When you left him in the back seat he looked at you, with a pout.
"You said you were going to take me home!" He spoke very loudly, without meaning to.
"If you want to die then let's go in my car." Your words dragged on.
He shook his head and patted his seat. "I'm not going to let you drive. Come on, get in."
You sighed but finally agreed and got into the taxi with him.
He fell asleep with his head resting on your shoulder, it felt so comforting that you didn't even notice when you fell asleep.
After a few minutes the taxi driver spoke. "We're here."
You opened your eyes suddenly.
"Hey... Are you awake?" Spencer whispered, leaving a soft, brief kiss on your shoulder.
You didn't answer anything, hoping that... Who knows what the hell you were hoping for. A miracle maybe.
Spencer said your name, his tone oddly serious. "Can we skip the part where we pretend we don't sleep together and we can just talk about this?"
He kissed your neck and your hand ran over his exposed torso. "Can we skip the part where we do this and you can just get between my legs now?" Alcohol makes the braves.
Reid smiled against your skin. "Anything you want."
He moved away a little just to separate your thighs and settle between them.
Reid placed his hands on either side of your head, you watched him intently waiting for what would come out of his lips.
"I'll stop whenever you want, okay?" Even a little drunk he was a gentleman.
You nodded hurriedly, eager to feel your walls mold to his size.
Then he slowly pushed his hips against yours, his tip passing through your folds with ease due to all the wetness and for the same reason he clings to the sheets so as not to slip completely inside you.
His breathing is a mess, your breathing is a mess.
You stretch around him and when you are comfortable with him, then his hips and yours begin to move at a constant and slow rhythm.
He moves down to place kisses along your neck, moving up to your jaw, and then you reach for his hand. He immediately laces his fingers through yours, pinning you under him against the mattress.
His lips reach yours, at first the kiss is slow as are both of your movements but it is that the kiss increases in tone. His tongue battles yours, his grip on your hand tightens, and the movements of his hips become more frantic, almost desperate for release.
The friction has already left you too sensitive and also eager for some relief, so you wrap your legs around his hips to have him closer.
His cock starts to pound all the way in. The overwhelming pleasure makes your nails dig into his back and he breaks away from the kiss to let out a beautiful moan.
The bed creaks, accompanying the desperate moans and labored breathing of both.
∗⋅✧⋅∗
You move under the sheets until you are facing him. But that was a worse idea than you anticipated.
Confronting him after all the images you have of him in your memory feels like someone has just punched the air out of your lungs.
"To begin with, do you remember anything?" He breaks the thick silence, again.
"Fragments." Your voice comes out as a shameful whisper.
He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Me too..." He whispers too. "But I do remember that you tried to leave me in the morning."
"Oh..."
Really? Was that the only thing that could come out of your mouth?
Reid sighed and closed his eyes for a brief moment that seemed like an eternity. "Listen, I know this might be awkward but please don't go..." A pang ran through your chest as you saw his pleading eyes. "We don't even have to talk about it."
"Okay..." He sigh of relief at your answer.
But as a cruel joke of life someone knocked on the door, ruining the conversation for Spencer and bringing a postponement for you.
Reid sighed before reluctantly unwrapping his arms from you. "I'm sorry. I... I have to go." He said before getting out of bed.
Last night probably, no, definitely last night you saw him to the soul, but still this time you stared at the ceiling until he got dressed in pajama pants and a gray t-shirt.
He left the room leaving you alone on his bed, naked. Wow, that was something unexpected.
You stood there for a few moments, before wondering what the hell you were doing?
You rubbed your face with your hands as many questions collided in your mind, all eager to capture your attention while you didn't even want to think about it.
What does it mean to sleep with Spencer Reid? He was one of your longest friendships and just by letting him spend one night everything is ruined.
He was acting so casual, like waking up with you was something so normal...
But you didn't even know how to name this. Because, after all, what was this?
You got out of bed and immediately searched the floor for your clothes. You found almost all of them at least.
Once dressed and half combed, you decided to leave the room and try to get out of Spencer's apartment.
But it was such a stupid idea considering it wasn't just you and him in the apartment. Even though you thought you were going to get out of this alive when you saw Reid's back turned to the door.
"Who do we have here?" Morgan's voice was enough for Reid to see you and you to see him.
You had been caught red-handed.
Reid frowned. "You were leaving?"
You stammered a bit before deciding to stop embarrassing yourself and close your mouth.
Morgan's gaze traveled from Reid to you and back to you before figuring out what was happening or at least what had happened.
"Wait guys... Both had sex?" Morgan whispered, trying to be discreet, something that was definitely unusual for him, but not the strangest thing today.
You let out a nervous laugh. "We? Of course not!" You rush to say.
Reid's frown deepened. "We don't?" He said with a hint of mockery and another of bitterness.
No one knew what to say for a while, but the only one in trouble was you.
Morgan stood up from the couch. "Yeah... I think I'd better get going."
Spencer didn't say anything, not even when the door closed behind Morgan. He just looked at you with severity, a severity that disguised his vulnerability. How vulnerable he was before you, as if his heart was exposed on a silver platter.
You weren't willing to talk and he felt like he had already said too much, so the silence between you only grew thicker.
Reid snorted. "For the love of god, just say something!" He swallowed. "Say something, whatever. That I'm bad in bed, that what happened was a one night stand, or that you just tried to run away because you're afraid that if you stay you'll have feelings for me." He try with all his might to keep the tears in place.
You shook your head at his first sentences, but perhaps the last was right. "I... Am I hurting you with this?" Maybe it wasn't the best question, but at least you were honest this time.
He looked away, debating what he should or should not say. "Yes... Yes, you're hurting me." Spencer didn't understand how the words managed to slip through the thick lump in his throat.
Guilt and you were never good friends. "Yes, maybe I'm starting to feel something for you beyond a friendship, maybe I already felt it before. I don't know... I'm scared."
Spencer hesitated but finally took a step in front of you. "I'm scared too." He whispered.
You hesitated for a minute but finally put your arms around him. At that moment you just needed the warmth that his arms could give you.
Reid hated how easily he hugged you back, you were close to abandon him...
"I'm sorry." You murmured as you held onto him.
He places a kiss on the top of your head before rubbing your back. "Just don't exclude me from this, let us both figure out together what's going on here, okay?"
"I promise." You tilted your head back to look at him.
"Changing the subject." Spencer looked at you intently, were his eyes always so beautiful? "Did you see my bra? I couldn't find it while I was getting dressed."
"Oh." Spencer nodded and his cheeks quickly turning a pinkish color. "I kicked it under the couch when Morgan knocked on the door.'
Neither he or you remembered how your bra had gotten there. But it happened while the messy make-out session was going on.
Reid broke the kiss and slipped his hand inside your shirt, stopping until he reached the clasp of your bra. "Can I take it off?" He looked at you with pleading eyes.
"Of course." You tilted your head towards him, not willing to leave his lips for long.
He gave you a couple of short kisses while unbuttoning your bra. "I love you." He murmured against your lips.
"I love you too." Your statement came out as a gasp when he pressed his lips against yours more intensely.
Both were drunk when they said such important words, yes, but isn't it said that drunks always tell the truth?
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sorryimananti-romantic · 2 days ago
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The Leaders | Chapter I
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"this is the underworld that no one escapes from."
masterlist
ot8!ateez x f!reader, mafia au
chapter warnings: mentions of violence, gangs, drinking, shooting, near-death experience, illegal businesses, seonghwa and yunho are major assholes in this chap, san and yeosang have warmed up, mention of killing, etc
chapter wc: 9.8k
chapter synopsis: it is the year 1970 in eden when an attack on the crescent bar prompts you, the bookkeeper, to carry out yeosang’s order and flee with the contents of the safe. however, you are unlucky to have discovered an unknown, suspicious package that sentences you to an early death. left with no choice, you reveal secrets about the underworld to the crescents and their underboss that even they are not aware of. will this gamble prove to be fruitful?
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It was very easy to get lost in the liveliness of the Crescent Bar. Despite being stationed away from the heart of it all, you often found yourself distracted by the chatter of a couple who would occasionally pop in for a drink, the hushed whispers of a group of men who would be looking over their shoulders every few minutes, the hearty laughter that would suddenly fill the hall and spread warmth in its wake, or simply, a lone traveller who would be swaying to the light music that you were actually sick of hearing but didn’t have the heart to complain about. 
It was now second nature to jot in an observation or record transactions on an hourly basis, just like it was natural for you to take over the cashier’s place so the poor girl could take a break and move around. You no longer felt your hair rise every time you overheard a piece of information that you knew Yeosang or San would like to hear, nor did you feel your pores opening to release sweat every time they glanced your way– just like San did now, just having entered the bar and sent his trademark flirty smile in your direction.
“Restock champagne on table two, right away!” 
“On the way!” You shouted instead of the new girl who was currently finding it hard to multitask. You didn’t have to worry about a thing– Yuju, the head of staff, noticed everything as if she had eyes in every corner of the bar. She would make sure to let the girl know that she was doing well with an encouraging pat to her back.
“They’re going to empty our inventory tonight,” Eunbi shared a grin with you. “We’re going to have to check the stock again.” 
“I’ll take that– ask Jeonghan to wake the hell up and make sure we don’t run out,” you requested, sliding over to the cash register and typing in the latest entry, marking it with today’s date of 3rd April, 1970. Eunbi urged the waiters to speed up before rushing to the empty table at the left corner of the bar where Jeonghan was resting. She delivered the message with a smack and Jeonghan, who was never really asleep but just had a knack for pretending that he found the loud and bustling atmosphere of the bar relaxing, groggily walked across the hall to the door that led downstairs to check stock- or to get an actual nap. You would find that out later.
“Luna,” San greeted you with your nickname and you nodded in greeting– the nickname stuck with you after Jeonghan once called you Luna. Everyone started calling you by that name afterwards but only a handful knew it was short for lunatic and you intended to keep it that way. 
You had no desire to use your real name anyway.
“Busy night?” San slid on the stool not far from you, Eunbi passing him a sweet smile before she started to pour Black Shadow for him- a staple of the Crescent Bar as the only supplier of the famous and well-loved Utopian wine in all of Eden. San swirled the red wine in his glass casually before downing it in one gulp and Eunbi refilled it before passing the bottle to you, going to attend to more pressing matters than one of the owners casually lounging to chat.
“Kind of,,” you turned to grab yourself a glass and San poured the wine for you. The clinking of your glasses echoed even in your loud surroundings and you took a sip, taking in his appearance- you assumed he must be returning from business since he was wearing a formal black suit, though he ditched his coat at the entrance. The white sleeves were rolled up, revealing his sturdy forearms with a thick silver watch on his left wrist and a silver band on his index finger- one you had never seen him without. 
Your eyes travelled up to his face- tendrils of slick hair falling on his forehead. Choi San was one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, and hardly anyone could deny that. 
The problem was that perhaps, he really did not realise how painfully attractive he was. The man was far too humble for his own good, despite being one of the most dangerous and powerful men in Eden.
“Heard something interesting of late?” He inquired routinely. It was always a bit more casual with him as compared to Yeosang. Yeosang was the boss around here, yes, but San was the one who kept things under control. The pair of them worked together very harmoniously and you admired that, even though you had qualms about whatever they were doing- whatever you thought they were doing. Almost two years here and you still had no idea just what it was that their gang did. 
Gang, you called them though they preferred ‘organisation’. The cops preferred ‘criminal organisation’ but you supposed it was just semantics at this point. Their name was Ateez- you never heard that term directly from any of their mouths, but even a child recognised that name and knew to avoid them- or avoid trouble with them. 
But officially, they were the Crescent Company, owner of the Crescent Bar and other businesses in Eden.
“Just politics,” you finished the rest of your drink, adjusting the lone pearl ring on your right hand. “Everyone’s a little antsy with what happened at the protest. They think it’s Assemblyman General Wi’s gang.”
“General Wi would never interfere like that, though,” San scoffed in amusement- perhaps he genuinely found the idea of a man like Major General Wi resorting to dirty means hilarious. “He’s far too smart for that.”
“He is,” you had to agree. “But who else to blame? Only someone from the military would dislike people protesting against martial law. There’s only one candidate for presidency who’s got influence in the army. They think General Wi’s success in the elections would mean the army would control the state.”
“Isn’t the army somewhat controlling the state already, though?” San pondered. “President Lee has ties with the army too.”
You may have gotten used to interacting with the most feared gang in Eden, but the mention of President Lee still made you shiver involuntarily. San had noticed it one too many times and though he hadn’t asked for an explanation, you were sure you would lack the words to describe this sentiment anyway. “President Lee… cannot be controlled by the army, or anyone for that matter. General Wi may be smart but he’s still easily influenced when met with someone of a higher status- that’s what I heard,” you added the last bit hoping it wouldn’t sound like a personal opinion. 
San raised a brow at your comment- you often tried (and failed) to mask your personal opinions under the guise of news but whenever you shared something, he made sure to listen- and listen beneath what your words tried to cover up. He often found your opinions and predictions regarding politics holding some weight and he wasn’t quite sure if you were subconsciously very observant or purposely pretending to be unaware. He once asked you how you knew so much but when you didn’t discuss any information with him for a few weeks, he took the hint. You only reported officially to Yeosang and he could bet you found it easier to talk to him about these things because he wasn’t one to probe.
“Keep me updated,” San said and you nodded. “Yeosang must be inside?”
“He’s actually in Room no. 1- he has visitors.”
“Visitors?” San frowned. “Who?”
“Lieutenant Jeong and co.,” you said and San shook his head at the way you so formally addressed the man. He had told you before that no one ever referred to him as the ‘lieutenant’ but you didn’t know how else to refer to him. “I was in the office earlier so they decided to take the room.”
“That’s okay, I’ll pop in there,” he grabbed a handful of nuts from the counter before walking to the backside of the bar, disappearing in the shadows as he reached the VIP area. You took a deep breath, your mind once again wandering to the ‘guest’. 
Lieutenant Jeong Yunho was not a guest here at all. He belonged here. If you thought Choi San was intimidating, you were wrong. You still recalled the first time you saw him right outside the bar, all roughed up, wiping the blood off his face with his sleeve but not a single scratch on him while a group of men around him writhed on the floor, clutching their mangled limbs. He met your eyes and your heart sank in the worst way possible- worse than the moment you were disowned by your own father. It was simply fear, and you hated feeling fear. You made up your mind to avoid him from then on but there was only so much you could do when you worked at the place he owned. 
Oftentimes he came into the bar in the late hours of the night after wrapping up things in the main office and sat right where San had been sitting earlier in front of you, drinking the strongest wine available in silence- perhaps to sort his thoughts out. He didn’t mind you sitting near him and doing your paperwork, and you didn’t make him feel uncomfortable unlike the others who could not stop stealing glances at him- it wasn’t that you didn’t want to, but you simply could not. You didn’t want him to find out what kind of an effect he had on you.
Especially when he had the warmest laughter and his entire demeanour shifted around his comrades. It intrigued you because he felt like two different persons in one vessel. That was the only time you would allow yourself to steal glances at him- when he was distracted enough. Otherwise you didn’t dare look at him in fear that he might find something about you that you had been struggling to hide all your life.
Eunbi came back after serving a group of guests, whispering, “This one table- they were awfully quiet when I went to serve them. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve got some gossip they don’t want anyone to hear or if they’re going to try something stupid.”
You looked at her- Eunbi’s instincts were usually spot-on. “Which table?”
“Over there,” she glanced at the corner and sure enough, the group of four was already looking in your direction. You pretended to be unaffected, asking her to take over the register. While casually strolling towards the door that led to the basement at the other end of the hall, you passed their table, noticing how they resumed talking only after you were out of earshot. 
Something was up. You went downstairs to see Jeonghan napping on the couch.
“Oi,” you poked his thigh and he stirred, opening an eye. You knew he wasn’t really asleep- he wasn’t one to let his guard down, but you supposed he could have his moments of peace. “Stock?”
“Enough for tonight but I’ll place an order for tomorrow before we leave,” he said. “What’s up?”
“There’s a group at table seven. Four young men, armed with guns, awfully quiet and jumpy. Care to take a look?”
“They could have just lost a bet. They might be collecting the remnants of their pride- you tend to do that in silence,” Jeonghan mused.
“Yeah, well, I’d rather you make sure,” you said. “Lieutenant Jeong is here. They’d be stupid to try anything- anything at all, even if it’s just throwing a tantrum.”
“Ah,” Jeonghan got up and smoothened his long dark hair. “I suppose I’ll ask them if they require a better drink to down their shame.”
“Whatever,” you sniggered before going back to your position upstairs. You watched Jeonghan don his jacket as he entered the floor and he looked around, meeting eyes with the group and you both noticed two things-
That their hands went to their hip where the weapons rested, and that they exchanged quick glances with each other. Jeonghan looked at you and you shook your head, urging him to skip the plan and alert the others- it might be an attempt at robbery or worse, but they were so stupid to do that, especially tonight. 
“You’ve restocked their drinks?” You asked Eunbi.
“They just ordered another, Soojin is going to refill their drinks-”
“The new girl?” You shook your head, “She’s been jumpy all night. Stop her, right now. They’re armed, they might do something stupid-”
Before you could finish the sentence or Eunbi could carry out your order, the loud shatter of glass made you both flinch and hold on to each other as you ducked, splinters raining down on you and making you both hiss in pain when some of them met your skin. You tucked Eunbi closer before you raised your head over the counter to assess the situation-
Chaos was the word. Eunbi had been right to be suspicious- the men were now pointing guns at whoever dared to move and another gunshot sounded followed by a guttural yell of the waiter whose arm took the blow. You met eyes with Soojin who stood frozen in the middle of the room and you motioned for her to stay that way.
“No one move!” One of the men shouted, wide eyes relaying the threat. “I’ll shoot you if you move!”
“I’m going to take the register and go to the office,” you whispered to Eunbi who shook her head furiously.
“It’s too dangerous- they’ll shoot you,” Eunbi held your arms in panic but you pried her hands away, squeezing them assuringly.
“I’ll be fine- they won’t spot me. I have to hurry,” you told her and before she could insist, you started crawling away from her, keeping close to the wall and moving towards the backside of the bar, avoiding the shards of glass as best as you could. You had orders to follow- orders Yeosang trusted you would follow at a time like this. You could not disappoint him now after everything he had done for you.
The office was the nearest room from where you sat crouched and if you made a dash for it, you could probably go unnoticed- if the instigators didn’t catch movement from the corner of their eyes. They were too busy forcing the customers to line up against the walls so you could take this chance-
Without thinking any further, you gathered the material of your skirt and thanked the lord that you wore boots instead of your usual heels today as you took a few large steps to disappear into the shadows, now successfully out of their vision. You silently unlocked the door and entered the empty office, taking a deep breath once inside, the adrenaline rush making your head spin. After stealing just a few seconds to calm down, you opened the drawers to make sure nothing of importance was there and then you bent down to access the locker under the desk-
The locker of which you had the key to all this time, but never once checked the contents of. You remembered when Yeosang promoted you from cashier to bookkeeper and told you that not all their transactions were legal- you just had to keep a record and stay shut about it. That, you could do. You kept the key on you at all times, and you took it out from the inside of your skirt’s waistband, unlocking the safe and gathering the two registers and a small packet wrapped way too much to figure out what it held inside. You held the things close to your chest as you made your way out, peeking first to see if the commotion had moved away from your eyeshot. 
You took a turn to the narrow space at your right that led to the back exit, but that was not your destination- the room at the end of that corridor had a passageway that led to another exit in the alley. You slowed down at the sound of footsteps and you wondered if they were coming from right behind you-
Before you knew it, you were being pulled inside the room with a twirl that ended up with your back slamming against the wall, a gasp producing from your lips and freezing midway when you realised just who had pinned you against the wall-
Lieutenant Jeong. And he did not look pleased. 
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“Carrying out orders,” you breathed, realising just how tall and broad he was now that he was in front of you, bending to reach your height. You clutched the registers tighter reflexively, your left wrist still in his strong grip. “I’ve been instructed to flee with the contents of the safe in case of an attack.”
“By who?”
“Kang Yeosang,” you said, though you figured he already knew the answer. “I have the key.”
The man scanned you slowly as if that would give him all the answers to the questions he wasn’t asking. He knew you were the bookkeeper, but did he not know that Yeosang trusted you enough with this?
The sound of a few rushed footsteps caused him to let go of your wrists and you rubbed the skin there. It was Yuju accompanied by the manager, Mingyu, and they told Yunho that there were more men outside now.
“Did you figure out who’s behind the attack?” Yunho asked.
“Probably Chan’s gang,” Mingyu huffed, looking at you and relaxing when he saw that you were safe. “I’m going back to get the rest of the employees.”
“I’ll stay here and make sure they get out safely,” Yuju nodded, noticing the items you were clutching. “Luna- go. We’ll call you when things settle down.”
You looked at Yunho- though you didn’t need his permission, you knew that he could very well ruin things for you. He didn’t trust you- he had no reason to. He told you to wait and disappeared out of the room and Yuju widened her eyes in confusion.
“I mean… I can understand,” you shrugged. “Is everyone okay back there?”
“I don’t think they knew that Yunho and his lackeys were here,” Yuju folded her arms, hugging herself. “They’re going to regret it. Whoever it is… they’ll make him regret ever coming up with this plan.”
“Even if it was just San and Yeosang, they couldn’t have won,” you said and Yuju agreed. “They both go a little crazy too.”
“But Yunho-” she shivered. “He’s something else.”
Your lips twitched in amusement despite the gravity of the situation and moments later, Johnny- Yunho’s assistant- appeared, looking battered.
“I thought it was a gunfight- why does it look like you were in a catfight?” Yuju commented, slumping down on one of the chairs and Johnny shot her an annoyed look. 
“One, I didn’t have a gun on me. Two- they touched my hair!” Johnny huffed and you looked at the man in disbelief, all the impression you had of him going down the drain. Yuju was familiar with Johnny so she didn’t seem very surprised at his childish outburst. “Anyone who messes with my face will get worse in return.”
“Understandable,” you muttered. “Can I go now?”
“Oh, you’re staying here,” Johnny urged you to take a seat. “You’re not going anywhere- Yunho’s orders.”
“Wow, okay,” you sank down on the chair. “And you don’t have a gun? If someone comes here and tries to take these away from me?”
“They’ll have to get past me, you don’t need to worry,” he grinned. “You can relax.”
You could, but you were far too nervous to. You didn’t realise how badly you were rocking your legs until Eunbi entered and you groaned in relief to see she was unscathed. “They almost shot me. I can never get used to this.”
“You will get used to it, one day,” you told her, holding her hands and Eunbi squeezed it with an anxious smile, wondering if that was why you seemed mostly unaffected.
The rest of the employees came one by one in a matter of a few minutes, recovering from the initial shock though it quickly wore off since all of you had experienced something like this at least once- and working in a bar owned by a gang, it was bound to happen anyway. Everyone knew better than to call them a ‘gang’ to their face, though- they had spent years to make their business and organisation legal. 
Somewhat legal, you would argue as their bookkeeper who knew that wine wasn’t the only thing being consumed here. Your hand that was clutching the packet in its grip itched in answer and you looked at it in suspicion.
The few new employees like Soojin were definitely in shock and Yuju did her best to calm them down. Johnny was kind enough to crack jokes to lighten the mood and you were glad to see it was working. Some people really were here to make a living and you were sure you were going to lose a few employees after this incident.
The door opened and Yeosang entered, looking unharmed, almost unfazed. He talked with Yuju first in hushed voices- probably something about the damage they would have to deal with. When he spotted you, he smiled and called you over. You got up and followed him outside to the corridor.
“Glad to see someone followed their orders,” he commented.
“I would have gone to that building you’ve told me about but…”
“Yunho stopped you, I know.” He was going in the direction of Room no.1 where he had previously been in with Yunho but when you entered, you found not only San but Park Seonghwa as well, looking as posh as ever. 
The underboss of Crescent Company, he was the one person in all of the gang that you truly had respect for- it didn’t matter that Park Seonghwa was a criminal. You had once seen him help a lost child find his mother, and another time seen him carry a cat with a broken leg in his arms, and that had changed everything. Not only you but the whole town was aware that Park Seonghwa was a man that possessed a functioning heart unlike most of the gangsters here.
However, you were soon going to find how wrong you had been.
“Miss Jeon, please, make yourself comfortable,” Seonghwa’s calm voice sounded and you looked at Yeosang instinctively- what was happening? He only smiled though it didn’t quite meet his eyes, pouring you a drink which you downed- you needed it now more than ever.
“I’m glad to see you’re alright,” Seonghwa said. “You have the contents of the locker?” 
“Right here,” you placed them on the desk and Yunho shifted in discomfort.
“Thank you for keeping them safe,” the underboss took a deep breath. “I understand that you’ve been working here as the bookkeeper for a considerable amount of time now?”
“About a year, yes,” you straightened, suddenly aware of the tension in the room- even San appeared to be squirming, playing with the ends of his sleeves- you’d never seen him fidget like this. “What is this about, if I may ask?”
“And you… do you have some family? Someone you’ve been caring for?”
“Not in Eden, no,” you confirmed.
“Do you have any idea of what these items are?”
“That’s my registers,” you nudged the thick books. “I’ve recorded every transaction here, legal or not. And this…” you held the package in your hand. “I’m afraid I do not know, but if I have to assume… probably the drugs we slip to our VIPs here.”
Seonghwa met eyes with Yeosang who sighed. “I told you. She does not know, but she can be trusted.”
“We have a policy, Yeosang. I know we trust our employees, but the trust can only go so far.”
“If you could tell me what this is about,” you gritted your teeth, knowing fully well where this was going. “Maybe you should just talk to me, Mr. Park.”
“Well, here’s the thing,” he turned his attention to you, fixing his coat. “We cannot let you go since you’ve seen that,” he pointed at the package and you realised that it was not the drug that you were aware of.  
But if not that, then what was it? You shook it slightly and felt the rustling of something powdery. It had to be a drug.
“And?” You countered. “I was assigned by one of you to take this and flee in case of an attack. I’ve simply followed orders.”
Seonghwa’s brow rose subconsciously and he shared a look with Yunho who looked amused- amused? You knew that people didn’t usually talk back to those in power, but you had once been there. They didn’t know that you once had power- some semblance of it, at least. 
“I’ll be forward with you- we are not allowed to share that with anyone outside our circle, and anyone who does see that is subject to execution.”
You looked at Yeosang in disbelief- he knew that, yet he had still assigned you to carry out this job for him. He could have asked anyone, but he chose you, even when he knew Kihyun had recommended you. Kihyun, the leader of the longest standing gang here and Ateez’s partner. He knew how desperate you were for some stability in your life, yet he chose you.
“I chose you because I trusted you,” Yeosang offered, not meeting your eyes lest he saw how betrayed you felt. It didn’t matter anymore, though. 
“You can’t kill me,” you told Yeosang. “You know who recommended me.”
“I’m sure they will understand,” Seonghwa answered in his stead.
“No, actually,” you tossed the packet on the table and folded your arms, liquid courage making its way up unfiltered as you met Yunho’s eyes- the one thing that you hid from him- from all of them. “I’m sure I’ll be much more useful alive.”
Yunho scoffed loudly, not quite believing the shift in your demeanour and the calculation in your voice, but Seonghwa leaned forward as if to question the sheer audacity that you displayed, and if you knew any better, you would have backed down and accepted your predetermined faith, but-
You still had unfinished business. You still had to take down the men of Eden who possessed power yet wielded it against their homeland. You still had to get back at your father for disowning you. You were far from your goal and you simply couldn’t stop here. 
“Miss Jeon… how on earth could you be more useful alive to us?”
You mirrored Seonghwa’s posture, leaning forward as well and though the wide table separated the two of you, you could very well have been inches away considering how fixated your gazes were. “I know things about the people in power that even your angels do not know of, Mr. Park. I know how their minds work, I know their dirty little secrets. I know what to avoid when dealing with them. I could help you shake Eden’s current establishment- you should not kill me.”
A silence spread in the room as they processed your words and assessed your statement- was this a leap of faith or an act of stupidity? Whatever it was, it seemed to be enough. Seonghwa looked at Yunho again who seemed just as surprised as the rest.
“We could strike a deal,” you offered, relaxing back. While you knew that they could kill you right away and move on with their night, you decided that if you were really going to get killed, you could try something.
It wasn’t a bluff, no. You meant each word you said, but it was a gamble on your life. 
“Luna,” Yeosang’s low voice prompted you to turn to him and adhere to his warning but you were still cross with him.
“What deal would that be?” Yunho finally spoke- you supposed that as consigliere to his boss, he handled these matters. “What information do you possess that is worth more than your life?”
“If I give it away right now, you won’t have any reason to keep me alive, would you?” You countered and San huffed in appreciation, making Yunho shoot daggers at him.
“What? She’s smart,” he pouted and you smiled inwardly, glad that he was still the same old San.
“You will have to give us something, darling,” Seonghwa straightened his gun on the table and though the action was casual, it felt like a mockery of how your life was literally in his- in their hands. 
You leaned back to think- you had to play your cards right here, and very carefully. One wrong move and you’d be gone. What was it that you could reveal right now that would make them consider that you were a force to be reckoned with, and would also make them join hands with you? Could you make this mafia gang bend to your will, or were you asking for too much?
You looked around the room, meeting eyes with each one of them, calculating every possible move from here. Most of the information you had was something you couldn’t simply claim to know without blowing your real identity. If they started looking into your background properly this time, they would find out that your surname was borrowed and there was no record of you being here in Eden before 1966- that was four years ago. You came back from Wonderland in ‘66, having spent a few years there looking after your sick aunt and recovering from the shame and anger of being disowned by your father. You couldn’t tell them who your father was- it was far too early for that. 
And since you couldn’t have them finding who your father was, you couldn’t let them know anything related to the pharmaceutical business your father owned, or his connections with the politicians- could you give them some information about a politician? President Lee, perhaps? But you weren’t sure how dangerous he was, maybe someone else-
Your eyes fell on an antique porcelain vase in the corner that looked awfully familiar. Your frown deepened as you tried to recall where you had seen it, and when it clicked, you realised you had your answer.
“You got that vase from Assemblyman Major General Wi, is that right?”
The four of them turned to look at the object you were pointing at. Yeosang confirmed that you were right. You couldn’t help but have your lips curl in a smirk. “You might want to return it. You don’t want to have an object that was used for money-laundering… unless you’re involved.”
Yeosang blinked in confusion, looking at the older two who seemed to be concealing any hints of emotions. San, however, looked just as confused as Yeosang. “How do you know that?”
“That’s not the point,” you told him. “The point is that General Wi’s artefact gallery is just a cover for his money-laundering business. Not a good look for a presidential candidate, is it?”
Seonghwa nodded, perhaps connecting some dots in his head and coming to the conclusion that you may be right. “I’m impressed, Miss Jeon. I will verify this information but I have a feeling that you’re speaking the truth.”
You nodded and Yeosang finally laughed in disbelief. “Who are you really, Luna?”
“Your bookkeeper who’s asking that you take consideration of my loyalty and make a deal,” you said and when Yeosang nodded, you continued. “I… I, too, have unfinished business. You know I was desperate to have stability when I first got a job here- it wasn’t always like this. I will give you all the information that you need as long as you protect me as your source. As long as you keep me safe, because you and I,” you turned to Seonghwa. “We have the same goals.”
“And what might that be?”
“Power and protection,” you said, sure that you were right about the first part but when Seonghwa’s brows twitched, you realised that the shot in the dark with ‘protection’ wasn’t fruitless. “We’ve all got something or someone to protect. I’m protecting myself. You’re protecting your people.”
“You’re very talkative… Luna,” Yunho commented and your heart fluttered at the way he called your name- only the nickname, yet you were wavering. You mentally scolded yourself. “This could be the only information you possess. Not enough.”
“Oh, please,” you countered. “You know I have more- I can’t be running on sheer confidence here. But don’t think for one second that you can torture that information out of me,” you said and when Yunho smiled guiltily, you somehow found yourself smiling back despite the fact that your life was on the line. “Protect me and I’ll make sure your boss overthrows the current establishment and becomes the most powerful man in Eden.”
“Protect you from who?” Yunho asked and you gulped involuntarily, recalling the darkness and emptiness in the eyes of the person the whole nation admired. 
“I can’t say yet, just… keep me in the shadows, for now. Please.”
Yunho looked at Seonghwa- you couldn’t be making this up. Yeosang asked you to go home and that they would give you an answer soon. When you left the room, Yeosang sat down next to San.
“You’re thinking what I’m thinking?”
“She’s not lying, yes,” San confirmed and Yeosang nodded. “She’s only ever worked, right? We’ve been seeing her for a year now. Work and home is all she does, isn’t that so?”
“Yes. I kept an eye on her for a few months before I assigned her with bookkeeping duties- she has no family here. Just a few acquaintances- Kihyun of MX Pharmaceuticals, which I thought was odd, but they were a gang before they became a pharmaceutical company, so maybe she encountered them at some point. They literally know everyone.” 
“And her roommate just so happens to be Wendy.”
“I dismissed it as a coincidence. She couldn’t be one of the RV spies, could she?”
“Nope. They’re far too meticulous.”
“You assigned bookkeeping to a person who was acquainted with both Kihyun and Wendy?” Yunho raised his brows in disbelief. “That’s too big a coincidence, guys.”
“Wendy is under a disguise, Luna probably doesn’t know what she actually does,” Yeosang said. “Besides… I trust her. I really believe it wasn’t necessary to just kill her like that. It’s not like she knows what’s inside this,” Yeosang poked the packet with his finger.
“I don’t think Chan’s gang got a whiff of our drug dealing,” Seonghwa sighed, running a hand through his lengthy locks. “They must have attacked just to get us riled up. They wish to tarnish our reputation because General Wi is choosing sides.”
“We really need to check if the thing about the artefacts gallery is true,” Yunho said. “If it is, we have to tread carefully. Hongjoong will be pissed to learn what happened tonight.”
“I’ll take care of him,” Seonghwa got up. “This girl… Luna?”
“That’s what everyone calls her here,” Yeosang said and Seonghwa nodded slowly.
“She’s something. I’ll verify her information- it’s probably true. Tell her we’ve got a new job for her.”
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When you bluffed your way out of your death- though you hadn’t really lied, you did hold information that could ruin Eden- you didn’t expect that you’d find yourself with a new job in the main office of the Crescent Company. You paused in the middle of recording the last entries of the day and your job, only to catch Yeosang watching you with interest. 
You folded your arms, staring back and pulling your lower lip between your teeth in contemplation. 
“Are you sure this isn’t just a trap to kill me? You could just shoot me and get on with your day, why go through all these lengths?”
Yeosang’s rich laughter boomed in the office room and you sent a tired glare in his direction before going back to checking the receipts of the new stock. 
“We would have killed you last night if we really wanted to.”
The nonchalance with which he said that sent a bitter taste down your throat, reminding you of familiar words you had heard a few years ago, but you knew that this situation was different- you had to believe that they were different. Otherwise, there was no hope left for Eden. 
“I’m still mad that you signed me up for death with this job, by the way. That was a low blow.”
“You are our first bookkeeper,” Yeosang said in response. “We just didn’t know what to do… does that sound like a good excuse?”
“Hardly,” you muttered. “I thought we were… acquaintances, if not friends. I respected you, Yeosang.”
Yeosang put a hand on his chest. “Respected? Do you hate me now?”
“I can’t really hate you when you’re… you,” you shut the register, looking at him. 
You had spent long hours with Yeosang in this very office. Somehow, with him, it had always been naturally comfortable and he once admitted that he thought it was odd how you both could be in the same room, busy with your own work yet feeling right at home. Though you barely ever had a heart-to-heart with the man, the impression that he was a scary gangster had vanished long ago. He was scary when he had to be, but he just felt more human than his partners.
“What does that mean?”
“I’m just a little hurt that you delivered me on a platter to your underboss for him to do whatever he wanted with me. Try to understand,” you explained. “And I still respect you, don’t worry.”
“He wouldn’t have killed you. I would have stopped him,” Yeosang insisted.
“You were more nervous than me,” you scoffed. 
“I was nervous for you, that you were going to make a mistake and he would really have to kill you,” Yeosang admitted and you blinked in surprise. “But you did just fine on your own. Are you not going to tell me who you really are?”
“I can’t tell you that yet,” you told him. “I trust you just enough to gamble with my life, but I’ll reveal things only when I’m sure the information would be in safe hands. You have to trust me a little too. It’s not like I can betray you- where would I even go? You’re all going to kill me if I make a mistake anyway.”
Yeosang nodded- you had a point. “Have you got nothing to lose?”
“I’ve already lost everything that I had,” you shook your head. “I’ve only got my life now.”
“I have a feeling you’ll do well in the main office,” Yeosang clapped his hands once in conclusion. “Since you’re already aware that we’re doing both legal and illegal dealings, you can do bookkeeping there. I have to warn you though- if information ever leaks, they will kill you without hesitation.”
“Geez, thanks,” you winced. “Tell me something new.”
“I don’t know where you got the guts to talk back to me,” Yeosang laughed, shaking his head once. “But keep this up and you won’t last long.”
“Why?” You leaned forward on the table in challenge. “Are you and San the only ones who can converse like normal humans?”
“We’re always just a little tipsy,” Yeosang said cheekily and you realised he was right. “You shouldn’t see me when I’m sober.”
You pursed your lips, realising that he was right- if he was anything like the rest of his gang, he had to be drunk all this time if he could tolerate you, a mere employee, talking like you were on his level. 
“Snob,” you muttered and got up to put these registers with the rest of the piles, ignoring Yeosang’s snickers. “Alright, my work here is done.”
“You’re fired,” Yeosang announced with a grin. “I’ve wanted to say that to you for so long.”
“You’re hopeless! I’ve been promoted, not fired,” you corrected.
“Whatever,” Yeosang got up, checking the time on his wristwatch. “San will be here in a few minutes- he’ll accompany you to the main office. You can say your farewells but you’ll be here often. It’s not a goodbye.”
“Okay,” you stood awkwardly for a moment, looking around- the beige walls with paint peeling in the corner, the dark shelves and furniture, the gramophone in one corner that you never played because you could always hear music from outside.  
“I’ll miss this,” you took a deep breath, nodding as you memorised and soaked in the feeling of this room.
“You’ll be back,” he assured, giving you a moment. “Now off you go.”
Sticking your tongue out at him, very out-of-character for you and taking him by surprise, you exited the office. You could hear what his response would have been- ‘just because we decided to keep you alive doesn’t mean that you can act out!’ but it was exactly that. If you had their protection, you would act out- just not to them. 
To the people who wore the cloaks of saints over their demonic hearts and ruled over Eden.
“Luna!,” Eunbi spread her arms as soon as she spotted you and you gladly let her hug you. “I’m gonna miss you so much.”
“I’m hearing I’ll be here often, so you won’t have to worry too much,” you poked her ribs, making her squirm as she laughed. “Just stay safe. And no matter what, do not become their bookkeeper.”
Eunbi frowned at that but before she could ask you more, the bell over the front door chimed and you knew it was San the way the bar suddenly fell quiet. You let go of Eunbi and patted her cheek before meeting eyes with San who waved at you.
Waved. You were a little pleased to see that the new arrangement was as awkward for him as it was for you. Eunbi echoed that out loud with a ‘did he just…?’ and you told her to get back to the counter.
“Hi,” San stifled a smile. “Good to see you’re still in one piece.”
“No thanks to you,” you countered. “Shall we?”
“I’m just going to let Yeosang know that I’m here,” San said, finally chuckling. “Look, if it helps, Seonghwa wasn’t really going to kill you.”
“I keep hearing that, but it just feels like you’re trying to convince yourselves instead of me,” you shook your head. “It doesn’t matter. I'll say my farewell to Yuju.”
You agreed to meet outside in five minutes and you went to find Yuju, who told you to stay safe. Jeonghan looked more worried than Yuju- he had overheard some of their conversation last night about them getting rid of you but you assured him it was alright now.  You just found out something you shouldn’t have so they were just being cautious. Though he didn’t look convinced, he let you go with an affectionate pat to your shoulder and a joke about how no one is going to let him nap in peace anymore.
Before you went outside, you took a look in the mirror and adjusted your black slacks and the rounded collar of your cream blouse before wearing your black coat over it. San was already waiting for you in his car- a black ‘67 Bentley- and you got in the backseat, your heart beating in anticipation.
“It’s not a long drive from here,” San said, “But I thought as an apology, I’d give you a ride.”
“I’ve been in better cars, but I appreciate the sentiment,” you said and San deadpan stared at you. You squirmed, realising an explanation would entail revealing details from your background. “I mean… the condition could definitely improve.”
“Yeah, it’s been through a lot, you’re right, “ San let out a chuckle before glancing at you. “You’re not going to tell me where exactly you’ve been in better cars? Because as far as I know, you were struggling to make a living when you first got a job here.”
“That was because I moved back from Wonderland after a long time,” you fiddled with your pearl ring. “Anyone would struggle.”
“And how do you really know Kihyun?”
Kihyun- he was almost like a brother to you. As a child, you had often seen him go in and out of your house because of some business dealings with your father. Though your father kept you hidden for the most part, having homeschooled you and pretending that you were his niece instead of daughter, Kihyun knew. He was far too smart to be deceived by a simple lie, and your brother had made it painfully obvious that he hated you for a reason. And when everything went wrong, Kihyun was there as a shield. 
He had offered you a place in his company too, but you could not possibly involve Kihyun into your plans for the demise of your enemies. You respected him far too much to drag him into your mess.
“He’s just a connection- we have a few mutual acquaintances.”
“And who might they be?” San asked but you shook your head.
“I can’t reveal their identities… yet,” you said and when he narrowed his eyes, you stifled a smile. “Is there something I should know before we reach the office?”
“Well,” San exhaled, thinking. “It’s going to be quite different from the bar- more professional and tense. I’m sure the secretaries you’ll work with will warm up to you eventually but they might come off as unwelcoming or prickly at first.”
“We’ll see,” you said. “And… will I be interacting with… one of you often?”
“Why?” San questioned, a playful smile gracing his lips. “Is there someone you’d like to interact with?”
“That’s not what I mean-” you started but the car came to a halt and with a dirty look thrown in San’s direction, you got out of the car and craned your neck to look at the double-story building that was the main office for Crescent Company.
It wasn’t anything much, and you knew that that was intentional. Just like all the other office buildings in this somewhat posh area of the town, it had a chestnut brick wall with a new moon that made up for the ‘c’ in crescent. The guard situated at the front door bowed to San as you entered. The employees inside acknowledged San’s presence, halting what they were doing and only resuming once San nodded. There were a handful of them- a receptionist and a few workers coming in and out of the unlabelled rooms. You supposed everyone was assigned a task and had respective offices.
“This is us,” San announced, motioning at the somewhat lifeless interior. “Nothing much, and we would like to keep it that way. You’ll be working upstairs with Jihoon and Eunha- they are our boss’ secretary.”
“Mr. Park’s?” You questioned as you followed him at the end of the hall towards the stairs.
“And Hongjoong’s,” San said and you paused in the middle of ascending the stairs.
“I’m going to work for Kim Hongjoong?”
“Relax,” San snickered. “He’s always holed up in his office if he’s not in the field, and Jihoon does the assistant work. You won’t encounter him too much.”
“That’s not the point,” you muttered. You reached the upper story to see three rooms across the spacious hall which was set up as an office itself. There were two people working in that space, sitting in front of the windows where there were three desks in a row. It didn’t look out of place since their workspaces were spread across the entirety of the hall. The empty desk looked a bit odd, though, and you reckoned it had been set for you which meant they must have moved things around a bit.
“I’ll leave you to get acquainted with them,” San said. “There won’t be much to do for a few days until they think you can handle the work.”
When Jihoon’s burning gaze met yours indicating his annoyance- already?- you gulped. Perhaps, you should have stuck to the bar or denied their offer. Jihoon was quick to change his expressions as he rose from his seat.
“Mr. Choi,” Jihoon greeted and Eunha looked a bit surprised as if she hadn’t heard you two come. She followed with her own greeting, tucking her short pink hair behind her ear in what looked like a nervous habit.
“This is… Jeon y/n- the new secretary. I hope you’ll train her well. She’s already familiar with bookkeeping so I don’t think she’ll have to learn much.”
“No worries, we’ll handle it,” Jihoon said. “Nice to meet you, Miss Jeon.”
“Nice to meet you too. You can just call me Luna- everyone does.”
“That’s a pretty name,” Eunha shook hands with you. “This is your desk, and I’ll give you a walkthrough before Jihoon takes you around the office, is that okay?”
“Sure,” you nodded, feeling hopeful. You turned to San. “I think I got it from here.”
“Very well,” San nodded. “Take care of her- she’s got potential.”
Jihoon only smiled in response and as soon as San was out of sight, he slumped down on his desk and went back to typing. You turned to Eunha who only smiled awkwardly, muttering ‘he’s a bit cranky at times’ and you shrugged. You could deal with cranky.
Eunha told you about your duties- bookkeeping since you had experience, typing a report each night that Mr. Park or Mr. Jeong would be signing, and any other miscellaneous tasks that Eunha and Jihoon couldn’t cover in their shift hours. Once she was done briefing, she handed you over to Jihoon who made a display of grunting in annoyance before he guided you downstairs to the last room which was essentially a storage.
“You must know that not all the business under the Crescent Company is legal,” he said and you nodded. “Where would you keep the record of illegal transactions?”
“Definitely not here?” 
“Here,” he corrected, “but concealed while still being right in front of your eyes. In the case of a raid by the detectives because a certain inspector has been on our case for a while, they will take everything in here, right? The illegal transactions are kept in a safe behind that painting,” he pointed towards the mediocre painting of cherry trees in the darkest corner of the room. 
“And the key?”
“A code, this time,” he said. “I’m still hesitant about sharing it with you but Mr. Choi said you could be trusted.”
“I’ve handled such matters before, yes,” you told him, understanding why he was sceptical about you. “There’s a reason I’m here.”
“That is definitely not the reason why you’re here,” Jihoon scoffed loudly. “Just because you passed a little trust test does not mean you get a position as the boss’s secretary. Eunha and I have worked under them since the beginning- that’s a plausible reason. They trust us.”
Though you wanted to argue with the man, you decided that you would be better off being civil towards him if you had to tolerate him to keep your job. 
“Who else knows the key?”
“Apart from the boss, underboss and consigliere… only Eunha and I. So if information leaks, if the location of the safe leaks-”
“I’ll be the obvious suspect, of course,” you nodded and Jihoon considered you for a moment before acknowledging your answer. 
“Our schedules are going to change now, so there is always at least one person out of the three of us in the office at all times, though the three of us must always be present in the 12 to 2pm slot. In case of an emergency, you are expected- obliged to get down here and escape with the contents of this safe, is that clear?”
“Clear as day,” you confirmed.
“1024 is the code,” Jihoon said and you nodded, memorising it. “Now, let me show you where we keep the official records.”
You took note of every little thing Jihoon had to tell you. Eunha observed how you worked for the rest of the evening and made you acquainted with the methods that you were to use. You were familiar with the work- you had already been in charge of tracking expenses, monitoring budget and keeping a record of all the financial transactions in the Crescent Bar. Eunha was going to take care of tax payments and returns while Jihoon was going to supervise. 
It was a manageable workload so you were pleased with your current position- you just hoped the two would warm up to you soon. You did not expect them to get along with you, you just prayed they would remain civil and not stir any trouble.
Your schedule was going to change from the next day and your shift was from 6pm to midnight- or more, if the need be- and you would also have to be present in the 12 to 2 pm slot. Since you were going to be the one who would lock up the office, you received a set of keys which included one for the storage, one for the main door, and one for Jeong Yunho’s office- in case he or Park Seonghwa weren’t present- to lock away those documents. You were to place them in the cupboard in Mr. Jeong’s room.
While you were in the office today, you didn’t encounter any of your bosses. You figured their absence wasn’t unusual since no one was talking about them. Eunha helped you prepare the report that you were to hand over tonight in her stead if anyone did visit the office because she had a work appointment and needed to be there. She told you to make sure that all the locks are in place before you leave for home.
While you waited for the clock to strike midnight- which was about twenty minutes from now- you busied yourself with scratching your pencil at a piece of paper that was going to be discarded anyway. One thing that calmed you like nothing else was the feeling of the pencil’s lead rubbing against the grains of the paper and leaving a mark for you to play with. With a very specific picture in your mind, you continued to draw straight lines, sharp curves and edges, adding the elements of threat and danger where needed, but preserving the softness of it all-
“What are you doing here?”
You looked up to find not the person you were hoping to see but the person you wanted to avoid the most.
Jeong Yunho.
Lieutenant Jeong Yunho, all dressed up in a black suit with engraved silver buttons, the black tie loose on his neck, his hands hidden in the pockets of his pants. Your eyes travelled up to his parted lips, to the muscles of his jaw flexing and unflexing, to his dark gaze trained not on you but lower- what was he looking at-
You subconsciously put a hand over your incomplete sketch and got up in greeting. “Lieutenant Jeong. I have the report- Eunha had a work engagement.” 
“I see,” he nodded slowly as if still coming to terms that you were to work here now. You could return the sentiment- it was a strange feeling to see him here. You had acknowledged each other’s presence in silence and at rare times, shared a drink (you didn’t often drink at the bar). But standing across each other in this formal setting… 
“Well?”
You broke out of your trance, feeling heat creep up your neck. Perhaps, you were waiting for him to call you to his office. Had you expected him to do that because Yeosang had done the same once? He had been so nonchalant about everything but right now, you felt overwhelmed. You fumbled with the folders until you dug out the report, cursing yourself internally because why didn’t you place it right on the top? 
You extended your hand and he drew closer to grab the document from you, reminding you once again of how tall he was. You gulped- there was no way to explain what you were feeling except a crushing sense of intimidation that made you feel so very small. It had been about a year, yet whenever you were in his presence, your mind took you back to memory lane- 
Specifically the lane near the bar where he ended his enemies and found you watching. Neither of you ever addressed why you had been there or why he had done all of that mercilessly.
“Looks fine,” he said, turning the few pages and skimming through them. “You can leave now- it’s almost closing time. I’ll lock the doors behind me”
“Alright…” were you two the only ones inside the building? “Goodnight, Lieutenant.”
“You don’t have to call me lieutenant, you know,” he said and you met his eyes again, finding the ends of his lips slightly curled in a… smile? Or was that a smirk? 
“How would you have me address you then?”
Somehow, it oddly reminded you of a similar conversation you had with Yeosang, except you had been calling him ‘sir’ and he couldn’t stop snorting everytime you called him that. He let it be for the entire day until he told you to just call him Yeosang- calling him sir in an informal environment only earned him odd looks. You argued that apart from the selected few employees, literally everyone called him ‘sir’ or a variation of it, but he insisted that you already sounded like something was stuck up your [redacted] and he didn’t want to add on to that.
That was the only time he saw your composure break. The rest was history.
The consigliere shrugged, giving you yet another glimpse of the person he was. He didn’t like to be called lieutenant, even though this was a formal environment.
“Mr. Jeong then, since everyone calls you that,” you concluded. 
“And do you still go by Luna?”
“I… do.”
He nodded once, his gaze falling at the paper you were hiding from him. You kept your hand placed over it and he turned, disappearing into his office. You didn’t miss the frustrated grunt that escaped his mouth as he shut the door.
Your shoulders relaxed and you picked the paper- he had definitely seen and recognised the gun that you had just seen last night on the table, and he probably recognised the hand that held it as well- the long, slender fingers that radiated delicacy despite being roughed up. 
The hand of the underboss of Crescent Company. Someone you had wished to meet before the night ended.
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flwrkid14 · 1 day ago
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Tim and Danny: The Couple That Could Have Been
Tim Drake and Danny Fenton weren’t just Gotham’s it couple—they were the couple.
Tim, the poised and brilliant CEO, and Danny, the charismatic streamer with a chaotic streak, were the kind of pair that inspired faith in love. Their relationship was public but never performative. The candid photos, the impromptu livestreams where Danny would drag Tim into the frame to tease him about his “ridiculously expensive suits,” the way Tim would smile when he thought no one was looking—it all seemed so real, so untouchable.
For years, they were inseparable, the picture of what love should look like. And Gotham believed in them. People joked that they’d be together in every timeline, every universe, because how could they not be? They were made for each other.
So when Danny uploaded a new video one unassuming Tuesday, everyone thought they knew what was coming.
The engagement announcement.
Danny’s setup was different this time—gone were the familiar vibrant backgrounds and playful chaos. The walls were bare, his face somber, his voice quieter than anyone had ever heard.
“Tim and I…” He paused, swallowing hard. “We’ve decided to go our separate ways.”
What?
No, that couldn’t be right.
This was Tim and Danny. The couple everyone was convinced would make it through anything. The couple people joked would find each other in every timeline, every universe, because it was always them.
But Danny kept talking, his voice trembling as he explained—without really explaining—that they couldn’t make it work. No details, no messy drama, just a quiet goodbye that left everyone feeling like the air had been stolen from the room.
———
The Batfamily found out the same way everyone else did—through Danny’s video. They hadn’t even realized anything was wrong. The last time they saw Tim and Danny together, they’d been the same as always: teasing, bantering, comfortable in each other’s presence.
Bruce was the first to confront Tim about it, cornering him in the Manor with that familiar stern frown.
“Tim, what happened?”
Tim didn’t answer. He couldn’t.
Because he didn’t know either.
Danny had been the one to end it. One day they were fine—perfect, even—and the next, he was breaking up with Tim over coffee, quiet and somber, like he was grieving something Tim couldn’t see.
“I just… we can’t,” Danny had said, his voice trembling. “I’m sorry, Tim. I love you. I’ll always love you. But we can’t keep doing this.”
And that was it. No further explanation.
Now, Tim was left packing up his things from the apartment they’d shared, trying to piece together what went wrong. Danny was on the other side of the room, just as quiet, boxing up his own belongings. They didn’t speak. Couldn’t.
The space between them had never felt so vast.
“I love you,” Danny had said, his voice breaking. “I’ll always love you. But I can’t… we can’t keep doing this.”
And just like that, it was over.
And Danny? Danny knew exactly why.
———
Danny Fenton was a coward.
He’d gone to Clockwork for help after the first heartbreak, unable to bear the thought of living in a world without Tim Drake. He couldn’t undo the pain of losing Tim to the Justice League’s doomed mission, but he could relive the good years.
Clockwork had hesitated.
“This is dangerous, Daniel,” he warned, but Danny didn’t care. He didn’t want to forget Tim. He didn’t want to move on.
So Clockwork granted him his wish.
Again and again, Danny went back. Every time their relationship reached the point of no return—where Tim’s inevitable death loomed on the horizon—Danny would break up with him, retreat to Clockwork, and start over. He couldn’t bear to see Tim die, not again.
But the cycle wasn’t perfect. The cracks showed with each repetition. Danny’s breakups became harder to explain, his excuses more transparent. He could see the hurt in Tim’s eyes, the way his walls went up higher and higher with every iteration.
And still, Danny went back.
Because he couldn’t stop.
Because he couldn’t let go.
———
This time, though, it was different.
This time, as he packed his things, Danny felt the weight of what he’d done pressing down on him like never before. Tim wasn’t angry. He wasn’t even questioning it anymore.
He just looked tired.
And Danny hated himself for being the reason why.
The world moved on, but Gotham felt the loss of Tim and Danny like a phantom limb.
The bats watched Tim retreat further into himself, his work becoming his sole focus, an impenetrable wall between him and everyone else. They wanted answers, but Tim wouldn’t give them. And Danny? Danny disappeared from Gotham entirely, his absence leaving a wound that never seemed to heal. Maybe that’s why Tim would find himself on that mission, before Danny's loop restarted everything again—caught in the endless cycle of fate, unaware of how close he was to losing it all for good.
Clockwork didn’t say anything when Danny returned again, his face pale and his hands shaking. He just stared at Danny with quiet pity, his form shifting through time as if he were trying to decide what version of himself could make Danny stop.
“You can’t keep doing this, Daniel,” Clockwork said softly.
Danny didn’t answer.
Because he knew he’d be back.
Because he couldn’t stop.
Because he’d rather relive the heartbreak a thousand times than face another world where Tim Drake was gone for good.
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ambernotember · 2 days ago
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I was in high school in the early 2000s, at an arts high school. A REGIONAL arts program that had students from 4-5 different cities. You want to know how many queer people were out in this regional arts program?
Not. A. Single. One.
There were 3 (?) students that I think we all knew were gay/queer, but not one of them ever said it in the entire time I knew them. One of them literally took another mutual friend to every event the school had, they always joked about how it was completely platonic and they weren’t suited for each other at all, and he still never said the word gay.
There wan’t the queer representation we have now in media, be it music, movies, tv, books, or anything else. (Even when that representation is not perfect!) (Glee didn’t actually start until I was in university? I think? I only watched it if other people were watching it.)
And the students in our arts program — surprisingly progressive for an early 2000s high school — still said and did things that were homophobic and transphobic. And we didn’t do them to be hurtful or harmful, but rather because it was just an accepted part of the vernacular at the time. That doesn’t lessen the harm those things caused, but the intention was never to hurt. We were stupid teenagers doing and saying things we thought were cool.
If Tommy is 40, if they keep him Lou’s age, the most likely choices for popular high school movies at the time would have been American Pie and Dude Where’s My Car. Super bro-y, misogynistic humour, couldn’t mention music or band without hearing “this one time at band camp” jokes (and our school even *had* a band camp every year). If we go with the implication that Tommy always knew he was gay, that really would not have been a safe environment for him and he would have done everything he could have to hide and blend in. If you also use the age of 40, he probably started with the army soon after 9/11 at age 18-19, so he would have gone from that high school environment to the army and DADT. He did what he had to do to survive, and that doesn’t mean those actions and words didn’t hurt other people, but again, the environment we live in today is so different and if you didn’t experience that time, it’s hard to know what it was like.
A lot of the queer people in my friend group didn’t come out until their late 20s/early 30s, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was because we were trying to unlearn that shit too before we could figure ourselves out.
I do think the experiences that we see and hear about from Tommy are ones that resonate with a slightly older crowd; we saw what it was like for people who were out, or who were just different, and if we didn’t wanted to be treated that same way we assimilated. Did it mean we were always kind? To others, or to ourselves? No, of course not. We all said and did shit we regret.
For younger people in the fandom, they might have had high school movie experiences around things like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or Easy A or The Hunger Games, The Fault in our Stars, The Hate U Give, Love Simon, TASM, Lady Bird, Booksmart etc. Not to say these movies, or the movies of the 2010s in general are inherently better, but there was a lot more variety and we were starting to see better messaging from our media.
I think too, as some of the older people in the fandom, we’ve had a long time to think about things and regret them — things I did and said at 16 are now things that happened 2 decades ago, and if you’re only 16, or 20, or even 26, you don’t really have a frame of reference for how much things have changed over 2 decades, or how much you have, because well… you were a baby 2 decades ago. And that’s not a bad thing, but I think it’s hard to realize how much people can change in that amount of time, especially as adults, if you haven’t lived that many years yourself or had that amount of time to change, or the changes you’ve made are going from pre-verbal to verbal. We all have different life experiences and we can’t categorize them as better or worse BECAUSE they’re all different, but if we can’t accept that people live different lives I mean… what are we doing? There are honestly some people in this fandom I would never want to know in person because their opinions are (at this point) that you need to be held to your actions in the past and that people can never change.
I do think people who do bad things and never change should be held accountable. In our little tv world, they’ve really framed Tommy as someone who has changed, and that he and the 118 have overcome his previous shitty behaviour and actions. I mean, the bar scene from Bobby Begins? I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not spending time outside of work with coworkers I don’t like, and ESPECIALLY not in small settings. Like, if Chim and Hen still didn’t like Tommy then, why would he be there? Even at the end of Hen Begins (our first intro to Tommy in the timeline of episodes airing), he and Sal are shaking hands with her and saying she did good work by the end of the episode. And it cuts to them after the Chief says that several coworkers had submitted complaints on her behalf, coworkers PLURAL, so not just Chimney. Storytelling implication is that it’s the coworkers that would speak to her after that meeting.
Anyways! I just resonate with Tommy as a millennial who came out later, who said some shitty things and did some shitty things and probably treated people shittily in the past, but who has also learned and grown and become a better person since then.
You know, as clunky as Josh's Glee speech was, I really think the SPIRIT of it reveals just why Tommy is such a divisive character, and I honestly think it's because Tommy is AT LEAST an "elder millenial" and possibly late Gen X (cause fuck a timeline am I right?) and portrayed pretty accurately to that experience, and a lot of the people who are so rabidly against him are much younger. And they just cannot fathom the world that queer millennials, elder millenials, and Gen X grew up in and had to survive in. Like, the rules were different guys. So, so different.
So yeah, it makes perfect sense to me that Tommy resonated DEEPLY with a lot of older queer people and a lot of younger people just don't understand why he would.
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angelltheninth · 3 days ago
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Could I request Von Lycaon getting a blowjob as a reward for his hard work?
The goodest man alive? Does that make me a furry? Maybe. Then I will be one.
Pairing: Von Lycaon x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, growing, tail shenanigans, praise, blowjob, size kink, oral knotting, he calls you "miss/my Lady"
A/N: Look... I write and read omegaverse stuff, I know all about knots. Also fun fact I was in one of those outdoorsy nature groups back in middle school so I can also tie knots.
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"My lady... please, I was only doing my job... you don't have to do.. ah-oh!" Lycaon bit his inner cheek and dug his claws into the wooden desk behind him as you sunk to your knees and pulled his raging hard cock out of his pants. Your hands were just short of wrapping around his girth.
You licked your lips as you noticed the white pearl of cum gathering at the tip. "I know. And what a good job you did. You were so good today, perfect even." You kissed the tip of his cock and almost whined when he rolled his hips to meet your mouth.
As you opened your mouth wide and formed a tight ring around his cock to slide down you noticed his tail wagging behind him. No matter what he may say you know he's enjoying this, but was too shy to ask for any kind of reward, let alone something like this.
You let out a choked moan when you got to the thicker part of his cock. "I- Miss, that's just... you don't need to take that." He gulped when you swallowed hard and bobbed your head slowly up and down, eyes closed and tongue flat against his cock, licking his cum every time it dripped down. "You're doing to much. I'm just a butler, a servant, I don't deserve you to be on your knees for me."
If your mouth wasn't occupied you would have done more than raised your eyebrow at him for that.
Every time you pushed your head down you groaned when you hit his knot, which was now even bigger than when you started. Your jaw was already hurting. It would be a challenge to get your mouth around it but Lycaon worked hard for you all day, to make you happy. Now it was your turn to put a bit of effort in for him and his happiness. And his pleasure.
You pulled away from his cock to take a few deep breaths. You knew you would need all the breath in your lungs for this. "Think of this as a bonus then. A gift from your Lady. You wouldn't refuse a gift from me would you?"
"N-No. Never. I would be honored to receive anything from you." Lycaon stammered and moaned when you squeezed your hands around his knot. "My Lady... I'm gonna come. Please, I don't want to get you dirty."
"Dirty? You don't have to worry about that." You smirked and opened your mouth again only to shove his cock as deep into your mouth as it could go, barely over the thick knot but just enough for it to prevent you from pulling back once Lycaon shot spurts of cum down your wanting throat.
Lycaon growled his release, his hips snapping, rutting against your mouth and face, drooling, eyes hazy in disbelief that his Lady's mouth managed to take his knot.
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little-jana · 1 day ago
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- 5 times you ask Hotch to touch you and the 1 time he asks to be held -
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader
Genre: fluff, some angst (not between them)
Warnings: case talk, injuries during a case, blood mentioned, insecurities, crying, needing comfort, kissing, happy ending
1. "Can you hold my hand?"
The first time you asked him to touch you, it felt like a lifeline — a fragile tether keeping you from falling into the darkness that had begun to creep in. You were both walking out of the interrogation room, the air still charged with the tension left behind. The unsub had been particularly vile, his words slicing through your defenses like a blade. You had held your composure in the room — you always did — but now, with the door closed and the weight of the case pressing on your chest, the cracks were starting to show.
You could still hear the unsub’s voice in your head, the way he had spoken about his victims as though they were nothing more than objects. Your hands trembled as you clenched them into fists, trying to push away the nausea rising in your throat.
Aaron walked beside you in silence, his presence calm and steady, as it always was. You envied his ability to compartmentalize, to walk away from horrors like this without letting them leave a mark. But as you glanced up at him, you caught the subtle tension in his jaw, the way his shoulders seemed just a little more rigid than usual. He felt it too — he just hid it better.
“Are you okay?” His voice broke through your thoughts, low and grounding.
“I’m fine,” you said automatically, though your voice wavered.
He didn’t respond right away, his sharp eyes flicking down to your hands, which you had unconsciously begun rubbing together in a futile attempt to steady them.
“No,” he said quietly but firmly. “You’re not.”
Your instinct was to deny it again, to brush off his concern and pretend you had everything under control. But the words died in your throat as the tremors in your hands grew worse. Without thinking, you reached out toward him, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Can you hold my hand? Just… just for a second.”
He didn’t hesitate. His hand slid into yours, warm and solid, his fingers wrapping around yours with a strength that was both gentle and grounding. The world seemed to tilt back into place as his thumb brushed over your knuckles in a slow, reassuring motion.
“It’s okay,” he said softly, his deep voice steady and unwavering. “I’ve got you.”
You stared at where your hands were joined, the contrast between your smaller, trembling fingers and his strong, steady grip. A lump formed in your throat, and you took a shaky breath, the trembling beginning to subside as the warmth of his hand anchored you.
“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely audible.
He didn’t let go right away. His thumb continued its gentle path along your skin, a silent reassurance that he wasn’t rushing you, that he was there for as long as you needed.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said, his voice soft but firm, the weight of his words settling over you like a blanket.
For the first time in a long time, you felt the truth of those words sink in. And for the first time, you let yourself believe him.
2. "Will you help me up?"
The chase had been brutal. It was the kind of pursuit that left no room for hesitation, no time to think beyond the thundering of your heart and the pounding of your boots against the forest floor. The unsub was fast, darting between the trees with the desperation of a cornered animal. You were faster, but the uneven terrain was unforgiving, and your focus was split between keeping your eyes on him and avoiding the roots and rocks scattered across the ground.
You didn’t see the root until it was too late. Your foot caught on it, and you went down hard, the impact jolting through your body as your ankle twisted beneath you.
“Damn it,” you hissed, trying to push yourself up. But when you shifted your weight onto your injured ankle, a sharp, searing pain shot through you, forcing you back onto the ground.
The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you looked up to see Aaron sprinting toward you. His gun was drawn, his eyes scanning the trees even as he made a beeline for you.
“Are you hurt?” he asked as he dropped to his knees beside you, his voice calm but edged with urgency.
“It’s nothing,” you said through gritted teeth, waving him off. “I just need to get up—”
“Stop,” he said sharply, his tone brooking no argument.
You opened your mouth to protest, but the look in his eyes silenced you. He was already reaching for your ankle, his hands sure and gentle as he assessed the injury.
“It’s sprained,” he said after a moment, his brow furrowed. “You’re not walking on this.”
“I can manage,” you insisted, even as the pain made your vision blur. “Just help me up—”
“No,” he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for negotiation.
Before you could protest further, he moved with a decisiveness that left you momentarily stunned. Sliding one arm under your knees and the other around your back, he lifted you off the ground as though you weighed nothing.
“Hotch—”
“Don’t argue,” he said, his tone softening just enough to take the sting out of his words. “You’re hurt, and I’m not letting you make it worse.”
You felt a blush rise to your cheeks as you realized how close you were to him, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck for balance. His chest was solid beneath you, his heartbeat steady and strong, a grounding rhythm against the chaos of your own.
“I can walk,” you mumbled, though your voice lacked conviction.
“You don’t have to,” he said simply, his gaze fixed ahead as he carried you back toward the team.
The words hung between you, their weight sinking into your chest. For once, you didn’t argue. Instead, you allowed yourself to lean into him, your head resting lightly against his shoulder as his arms held you secure.
And for the first time, you felt what it meant to truly let someone else carry the weight for you.
3. "Can you hug me?"
The case had been devastating. Cases involving children were always the hardest, but this one had left a particularly deep scar. The unsub, a man who had systematically targeted families, had shown no remorse — if anything, he seemed to revel in the pain he caused. Even though the team had caught him, the damage was done. A family was gone, ripped apart, and no amount of justice would bring them back.
The jet ride back was suffocating. Everyone was quiet, the weight of the case pressing down on the cabin like a physical presence. You sat by the window, staring out at the night sky as the clouds blurred past. Your stomach churned, and your throat felt tight, but you held it together. You always did.
When the jet landed, you lingered behind as the others disembarked. The thought of going home to an empty apartment, sitting alone in the silence, was unbearable. You told yourself you just needed a moment to collect yourself, but the truth was you felt stuck, unable to move or breathe properly.
“Are you alright?” Aaron’s voice cut through the quiet, startling you.
You turned to see him standing near the doorway, his expression calm but his dark eyes watching you closely. You hadn’t realized he’d stayed behind too.
“I’m fine,” you said automatically, the lie slipping out without hesitation.
He didn’t move, didn’t look away. His silence stretched, unspoken but understanding, and suddenly you felt exposed. The walls you’d so carefully built over the years began to crack under the weight of his steady gaze.
“I’m just… tired,” you admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
His brows drew together, concern flickering across his face. “Do you want me to stay?”
You shook your head quickly, embarrassed by the question and the vulnerability it implied. “No, I’m fine. I just need to—”
You stopped, the words catching in your throat as the ache in your chest grew unbearable. You looked down at your hands, clenching and unclenching them in your lap as you tried to find something to hold onto.
Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out. “Can you hug me?”
The question hung in the air, fragile and raw. You didn’t dare look up at him, afraid of what you might see.
For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then, you heard the soft rustle of his jacket as he crossed the space between you.
“Come here,” he said gently, his voice low and steady.
You looked up, and before you could second-guess yourself, he was pulling you into his arms. His embrace was warm and firm, his hands resting on your back as he held you close. You buried your face in his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat grounding you in a way nothing else could.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, his breath warm against your hair. “I’ve got you.”
His hand moved in slow, soothing circles on your back, and the knot in your chest began to loosen. You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt the wetness on his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he held you tighter, as though he could physically hold you together while you fell apart.
For what felt like the first time in forever, you let yourself lean on someone else. And in his arms, the weight of the case, of everything, didn’t feel quite so crushing.
4. "Can you just stay with me?"
The motel room was small and unremarkable, its beige walls and faded floral bedspread screaming mediocrity. The case had taken its toll on everyone, and you could feel the weight of exhaustion pressing down on your chest as you stepped out of the shower, toweling your hair dry. Your limbs were heavy, your mind foggy, but you couldn’t ignore the ache in your chest — the remnants of a particularly brutal day on the job.
You’d seen it before: the aftermath of people’s worst moments. But this case was different. It had crept under your skin, latched onto your soul, and refused to let go. The faces of the victims lingered behind your closed eyes, and no matter how many deep breaths you took, you couldn’t shake the suffocating weight.
When a soft knock came at your door, you startled slightly, pulling the towel tighter around you before calling out, “One second!” You scrambled to throw on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, padding barefoot across the cheap carpet to open the door.
Aaron stood on the other side, his presence grounding and commanding even in the dim light of the hallway. He looked as tired as you felt, his tie gone, the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his sleeves rolled up. There was a faint crease between his brows, one you recognized as his default expression when something was troubling him.
“Hotch,” you said, surprised. “Is everything okay?”
His lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, his dark eyes scanning your face as though searching for something. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and careful.
“I saw your light was still on,” he said. “I just wanted to check on you.”
The words were simple, but the weight behind them wasn’t lost on you. He wasn’t just checking in as your boss or your team leader. This was personal — a quiet, unspoken acknowledgment of the fact that he could see the same weariness in you that he felt in himself.
You stepped aside, holding the door open. “Come in.”
He hesitated for only a second before stepping into the room, his presence filling the small space. He moved toward the lone chair by the window, sitting down with a quiet sigh as he leaned back, his shoulders slumping slightly.
“You don’t have to check on me, you know,” you said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’m okay.”
He gave you a pointed look, one that said he didn’t believe you for a second. “You’re not okay,” he said simply, his tone leaving no room for argument.
You let out a soft laugh, though there was no humor in it. “Guess I’m not hiding it very well.”
“You’ve had a hard day,” he said. “We all have. It’s okay to not be okay.”
Something about the way he said it — so calm, so matter-of-fact — caused the knot in your chest to loosen ever so slightly. You looked down at your hands, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.
“I can’t stop seeing their faces,” you admitted quietly. “Every time I close my eyes… it’s just there. And it feels like no matter what we do, it’s never enough. We can’t save everyone.”
There was a long pause, and when you looked up, Aaron was watching you with an intensity that made your breath catch.
“No,” he said softly. “We can’t save everyone. But we saved someone today. And that matters.”
His words were meant to be comforting, but they only brought the sting of tears closer to the surface. You swallowed hard, blinking quickly to keep them at bay.
“I don’t know how you do it,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “How you keep going, case after case, loss after loss.”
He leaned forward then, resting his elbows on his knees as he clasped his hands together. “Because I have to,” he said simply. “Because if I stop, if I let it get to me… then it wins. And I can’t let that happen.”
There was a rawness to his voice that you rarely heard, a vulnerability that he rarely allowed himself to show. It was a side of him that reminded you he wasn’t just your leader — he was human, just like the rest of you.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence in the room was heavy, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a shared understanding, a quiet acknowledgment of the weight you both carried.
Finally, you broke the silence, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can you just stay with me?”
The question hung in the air, fragile and tentative. For a heartbeat, you thought he might say no, that he might retreat behind his walls and insist on maintaining the professional distance he was so careful to preserve.
But then he nodded, his eyes softening as he stood from the chair. “Of course,” he said quietly.
He crossed the room and sat down beside you on the bed, his presence warm and solid beside you. For a moment, you didn’t move, unsure of how to close the distance between you. But then his hand came to rest on your back, his touch gentle and reassuring, and the tension in your shoulders melted away.
You leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder as his arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer. His hand moved in slow, soothing circles against your back, and you felt yourself relax for the first time all day.
“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his shirt.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he said softly. “I’m here. Always.”
The quiet conviction in his voice sent a warmth spreading through your chest, and for the first time that day, the suffocating weight began to lift.
You didn’t know how long you sat there, wrapped in his embrace. The minutes blurred together, the world outside fading into insignificance as you let yourself lean on him, let yourself draw strength from his presence.
And when you finally closed your eyes, the faces of the victims were no longer the first thing you saw. Instead, it was Aaron’s face, his quiet strength and unwavering support a balm to your weary soul.
You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but in that moment, you knew you weren’t alone. And for the first time in a long time, that was enough.
5. "Can you hold me?"
The house was silent now, eerily still in the aftermath of chaos. The team had already left, but you and Aaron remained behind to tie up loose ends — packing evidence, reviewing case notes, and ensuring the crime scene was left intact for the local authorities. The work was necessary, methodical, but it felt like moving through molasses. The weight of the case clung to you, thick and suffocating.
You stood in the unsub's living room, staring at the remnants of his twisted life. The photos on the walls, the personal items strewn across the floor, all told a story of pain and control. You’d seen scenes like this before, but tonight, it felt like too much. The air felt heavy, as though the walls themselves were pressing down on you.
Behind you, Aaron’s steady presence filled the room. You could hear the soft rustle of his coat as he moved closer, the faint creak of the floorboards under his weight. He didn’t say anything at first, but you could feel his gaze on you, warm and steady like the sun breaking through clouds.
“You should sit down,” he said finally, his voice quiet but firm.
“I’m fine,” you replied, though the tightness in your voice betrayed the lie.
Aaron stepped closer, his footsteps deliberate. “You’ve been standing there for ten minutes,” he pointed out, his tone carrying a gentle note of concern. “You don’t have to carry all of this alone.”
His words hit harder than you expected, and your throat tightened. You shook your head, trying to keep it together, but the weight of everything — the victims, their families, the endless parade of darkness — pressed down on you like a tidal wave.
“I’m just tired,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Tired of seeing all this pain, all this... evil. Sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, it’s never enough.”
Aaron didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stepped closer until he was standing right beside you. The warmth of his presence was grounding, and for a moment, you let yourself focus on the steady rhythm of his breathing.
“It’s not easy,” he said finally, his voice soft but steady. “But you’re stronger than you think. And you’re not alone in this.”
The sincerity in his voice broke something inside you. You turned to face him, your eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I don’t feel strong right now,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I feel... lost.”
His expression softened, and for a moment, he just looked at you, his dark eyes searching yours as though trying to find the right words. Finally, he reached out, his hand brushing your arm in a gesture so gentle it made your chest ache.
“You’re not lost,” he said quietly. “You’re here. You’re standing. And that’s enough.”
The tears you’d been holding back slipped free, and you quickly swiped at them, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Stop,” he interrupted gently. “You don’t have to apologize. Not to me.”
His words were a balm to your frayed nerves, and before you could second-guess yourself, you asked, “Can you hold me?” The words came out soft, almost hesitant, but they hung in the air between you like a plea.
For a moment, Aaron hesitated. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he was Aaron Hotchner — measured, thoughtful, always careful with the boundaries he set. But then his expression shifted, and without a word, he stepped closer and opened his arms.
You didn’t hesitate. You stepped into his embrace, your hands clutching the fabric of his jacket as his arms wrapped around you. The world seemed to fall away as he held you, his touch firm and steady, as though he was anchoring you to the earth.
His chin rested lightly on the top of your head, and his hand moved in slow, soothing circles against your back. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice a low, comforting rumble.
The floodgates opened then, and you let yourself cry. Not the quiet, restrained tears you’d been holding back, but the deep, gut-wrenching sobs that came from the core of your being. And through it all, Aaron didn’t let go. He held you as though his only purpose in that moment was to keep you from falling apart.
“It’s okay,” he said softly, his breath warm against your hair. “Let it out. I’m here.”
You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, wrapped in his arms, but time seemed to lose all meaning. Slowly, the sobs began to subside, and your breathing evened out. You pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at him, but his hands remained on your arms, grounding you.
“I’m sorry,” you said again, though this time your voice was steadier. “I didn’t mean to fall apart like that.”
Aaron shook his head, his gaze steady and unwavering. “You don’t have to apologize for being human,” he said firmly. “You carry so much, and sometimes it’s too much. That’s why we’re a team. You don’t have to do this alone.”
The warmth in his voice, the unshakable conviction in his words, made your chest ache in a way that had nothing to do with sadness. “Thank you,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He gave you a small nod, his hands still resting on your arms. “Anytime.”
The moment stretched between you, heavy with unspoken emotions. You wanted to tell him how much his support meant to you, how much he meant to you, but the words caught in your throat. Instead, you leaned into his embrace once more, resting your head against his chest. He didn’t hesitate to hold you again, his arms wrapping around you like a shield against the darkness.
And in that moment, you felt lighter. Not because the weight of the world had disappeared, but because you weren’t carrying it alone anymore. Aaron was there, solid and steady, and as his heartbeat thrummed beneath your ear, you realized something important: with him by your side, you could face anything.
+1. "Can you hold me?"
It was late. The office was shrouded in shadows, the hum of the building’s air conditioning the only sound cutting through the silence. You’d expected the bullpen to be empty when you arrived, yet the faint glow spilling from Aaron’s office told you otherwise. You weren’t surprised — late nights like this had become the norm for him, his relentless dedication often bordering on self-punishment.
You pushed the door open softly, peeking inside to find him sitting at his desk. His jacket was slung over the back of his chair, his tie loosened, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. Papers were scattered across his desk, though it was clear from the distant look in his eyes that he hadn’t been reading them. He was staring blankly at his hands, his brow furrowed, the weight of something heavy pressing down on him.
“Hotch,” you said gently, stepping inside.
His head snapped up, his dark eyes meeting yours. He looked exhausted — not just physically, but emotionally, the kind of weariness that ran bone-deep.
“You should go home,” he said, his voice quiet but firm, though it lacked the sharpness you were used to hearing from him.
“So should you,” you replied, stepping closer to his desk.
He didn’t respond, his gaze dropping back to the desk as his fingers traced aimless patterns on the surface. There was a vulnerability about him that you rarely saw, a crack in the unshakable armor he always wore.
“Are you okay?” you asked softly, concern threading through your voice.
For a moment, he didn’t answer. He seemed to wrestle with himself, his jaw tightening as though he were trying to force the words down. But then he looked up at you, his eyes dark and filled with something you couldn’t quite place.
“Can you hold me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
The vulnerability in his words hit you like a punch to the chest. Aaron Hotchner, the stoic, unshakable leader who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, was asking you for something so raw, so human.
You didn’t hesitate. Closing the distance between you, you reached out and pulled him into your arms. He came willingly, almost collapsing into you as his head dipped to rest against your shoulder. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his grip desperate, as though you were the only thing keeping him grounded.
For a long moment, neither of you said a word. You simply held him, your fingers threading gently through his hair as he buried his face against your neck. His breathing was uneven, the tension in his body radiating off him in waves.
“It’s okay,” you murmured softly, your lips brushing against his temple. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
His hands tightened on your back, and you felt him exhale, a shuddering breath that seemed to carry with it the weight of everything he’d been holding in. You had always known Aaron carried more than he let on — the responsibility of the team, the guilt of the lives he couldn’t save, the endless burden of being the one everyone else relied on. But in this moment, he let himself lean on you, his walls crumbling in your arms.
“I don’t…” he began, his voice muffled against your shoulder. He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his brow furrowed, his expression pained. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to let someone else—”
“You don’t have to do it all alone,” you said, cutting him off gently. You brought a hand to his face, your fingers brushing against the stubble on his jaw. “You don’t have to carry everything by yourself, Aaron. Let me help you. Let me be there for you.”
His eyes searched yours, and for a moment, you thought he might pull away, retreat back into the safety of his walls. But then something shifted in his expression, the tension in his shoulders easing as he leaned into your touch.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion.
Before you could respond, his hand came up to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. The intimacy of the gesture sent a warmth spreading through your chest, and you felt yourself leaning into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut for just a moment.
When you opened them, he was watching you with an intensity that stole your breath. His gaze dropped to your lips, and for a heartbeat, the world seemed to still.
“Aaron,” you whispered, his name barely audible.
He closed the distance between you in an instant, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was as desperate as it was tender. His hands framed your face, his touch reverent as though he were afraid you might disappear if he wasn’t careful.
The kiss deepened, his lips moving against yours with a hunger that left you dizzy. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer as your heart pounded in your chest. There was no hesitation, no holding back — just the raw, unspoken emotion that had been building between you for so long finally spilling over.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads resting together as the world slowly came back into focus. His hands remained on your face, his thumbs brushing gently against your skin as though he couldn’t bear to let go.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” you said again, your voice soft but firm.
For the first time, you saw the tension in his face ease, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“I know,” he said quietly.
And as he pulled you back into his arms, holding you tightly against him, you knew he meant it. For the first time, he was letting himself believe it too.
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quarterlifekitty · 1 day ago
Text
Desperate times
Based on the results of this post and poll
cw: dark content. Kidnapping, threats, drugging, noncon, restraint, the whole shebang.
❌ Gaz is starting to feel a little disheartened, babe. You don’t seem as committed to making this work as he is… But that’s okay. He told you he loved you, and love means always being willing to put in the effort, yeah? So if the public approaches aren’t working, maybe you need something more private. It’s easy to get one of his mates to follow you around bars, wait for the perfect moment, and slip something in your drink. It’s easy to know when on the walk home there won’t be any witnesses. The hard part is going to be training you out of hissing and spitting when he gives you sweet words and gentle touches. That’s no way for a bird to treat her man, not when he’s gone through so much for her.
❌Soap is starting to feel a little… restless. This was fun at first, this game of trying to win you back, of cornering you like he was some kind of creep, but now? He just wants his bonnie. He needs you, and he knows you’ll never be as happy with anyone else as you are with him. He starts right from when you wake up after that night of reigniting your passions. You’re saying things you don’t mean, things you’ll regret— and he’s never been able to keep his cool when you get emotional. So if he wraps his hands around your throat and squeezes until you still, he can’t be the only one to blame. Now, he’ll be the first to admit that his worship of your body last night was just a wee bit lackluster… he was too excited for the main event. When you wake up, tied to his bed and gagged, he won’t be making the same mistake. In fact, best start on it now.
⭕️ Ghost doesn’t keep it casual. He doesn’t take baby steps. Just as soon as you return one of his calls, you can barely say hello before he says “I’m comin’ over, dovie.” You’ve never seen him smile like he did on that day before, and quite frankly, you never want to see it again. He looks sick. Drunk on just his proximity to you. He attacks you with his mouth once you answer the door, grunting between heaving breaths that he knew, knew you’d come around, knew you were a good girl, knew you’d never wanna force him to do something he didn’t want to do. He takes you on a few surfaces before he can finally pull his mind together enough to take you to a real bed. Tells you he’s gonna put a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly so this can’t happen again, because honestly? He doesn’t wanna tell you what will happen if it does.
❌Nikolai thought it was cute at first, seeing you try to play at being the big, strong, independent girl. But while his love for you is endless, his patience isn’t. The longer he lets this go on, the more training you’ll need when you come back. So he decides to do the merciful thing, and take you home. It’s a shame you didn’t behave— he would’ve let you sit in the passenger seat with his hand on your thigh the way you used to love. Instead he had to drag you into the back, chemicals soaked in the cloth he put over your mouth and nose. It doesn’t do well for a princess to be out of her tower. No, it isn’t good for anyone, least of all the princess. You don’t realize the dragon is collared and chained to you, that’s okay— he’ll just have to put you in a collar and chains of your own while you get used to things again. Maybe you’d be a little happier with your life inside if you had something little and sweet to take care of, like he does? He could get you that, malýshka. You don’t even need to ask.
I was thinking of making this the last in the series, but maybe we can push it further?
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