#random reddit posts that were posted to tumblr

[trek-tracks]

would both of you just shut up for two seconds

[kadoodles-on-ao3]

Artist: berrywizard (Deactivated) Source: Reddit Archives: Reddit Repost | Image

[sherl-grey]

🟦🌌❤️❤️📺

[houseofanticipation]

After six months of leaving your window unlocked, someone finally took the bait.

You frequent some dark corners of the internet. When tumblr wasn't enough to get you wet anymore you turned to reddit, and when that stopped working you moved to 4chan. These days the sites you cum to don't even have names, their URLs are just strings of random letters and numbers. It was in one of these places that you saw the symbol.

The only identifying feature of the original poster was an off-putting avatar image of Sonic the Hedgehog's gaping asshole. The post was a single photo of the symbol, written in thick marker on a scrap of looseleaf paper. Below it, the text read: place this symbol in your window to let passersby know it's unlocked, and you're ready to be taken advantage of.

You came when you saw that symbol. (You had been touching yourself for hours at that point, but still, the symbol is what pushed you over the edge.) You saved a screenshot of the symbol, and in the nights that followed you touched yourself to it again and again, daring yourself to do it, imagining the things strangers could do to you in your sleep. When your better judgement finally caved to that insatiable need, you touched yourself again. You sat there for an hour, edging and watching that symbol in the window, until your mind felt slow and stupid with fantasies.

You did that a few more times in the following nights. But the after a week the fantasies alone weren't doing it for you anymore, and you were increasingly realizing something that probably should have been obvious from the beginning: most people aren't into the same disgusting shit you're into. The people in those ugly little corners of the web lived all over the world. What were the odds one of them would just walk past your first-floor apartment one day?

So you forgot about it. Mostly. You left it there, of course, but the more time went by the less you believed anything would ever come of it. You turned to other places to make you cum. Lately you've been getting off on posting pictures of yourself, letting strangers describe the ways they'd like to use and abuse you.

And then this morning you found three polaroid pictures placed neatly on your kitchen table.

All three pictures are of you, naked and asleep in bed. You started sleeping naked ages ago, at the advice of a tumblr post detailing how to be more of a slut. You're glad you did now, because the feeling you get looking at these pictures is like nothing you've ever felt before. It's electric, a vibration in your brain and the pit of your stomach that makes your legs wobble and your knees press together. The first picture is of your body, undisturbed, sleeping on your stomach with your ass in the air. The second is a view from the foot of your bed, your pussy pressed against the sheets and your legs open. The third is of your face, an unfamiliar hand brushing back your hair and an unfamiliar cock resting on your cheek.

Before you can even think you're falling to your knees, masturbating desperately and furiously to those pictures. When you cum it's labored, almost painful, your breath catching in your chest, your moans short and agonized. You manage to stand long enough to take the pictures to your bed, where you're able to scrape together the self-control to edge for about five minutes before you cum for a second time.

The one you can't tear yourself away from his that cock on your face. The knowledge that someone was that close to you without your knowing. Touching you. Pleasuring himself to you. When you cum for the third time, it's to the thought that he didn't rape you, as far as you can tell. That means he intends to come back.

That night you feel like a kid waiting for Santa Clause to come. You toss and turn, too excited to sleep, but terrified that he won't follow through with it if he can tell you're awake. You close your eyes and stay as still as possible. If you can't be asleep, the best you can do is appear asleep.

You wake to sunlight streaming through your window, a little surprised to realize you fell asleep at all. You can feel immediately that something is different; you've been violated, you can feel it in your clit and in your cunt. You hurry to the kitchen and find three new polaroids. The first is a close up of your pussy, already swollen and wet. The second is taken from the same angle, but this time there's a hand in frame, three fingers pushed inside you, stretching you out. The third sends a thrill up your spine. In this picture, a man with a Halloween mask pulled up to his forehead has his head buried between your legs. His face isn't visible from this angle, but it's clear he's eating you out. What really excites you, though, is the out-of-focus smudge in the corner of the shot: you're certain it's the edge of someone's finger. There was a second person in the room with you last night, holding the camera. You wonder if he was there the night before too. You wonder if anyone else has been in your room without you knowing.

When you've cum twice, you're able to think clearly enough to wonder how you managed to sleep through all this. This isn't a cock brushing your face; this is penetration, stretching, clitoral stimulation. That isn't the kind of stuff you sleep through, is it? You get off for a while imagining you really are just that much of a whore, that you can have three fingers inside you and barely notice a thing, but then you spot the cylinder in the corner of the third picture. It's a metal canister, like an oxygen tank, connected at the top to the kind of plastic mask designed to cover your mouth and nose. They drugged you. That's why you didn't wake up. They put you into a deeper sleep so they could do what they wanted with you. Your clit is getting sore at this point, but when you come to this realization you can't help but cum one more time.

In your dreams that night someone is holding you down, kissing you, shoving his tongue down your throat. You're afraid and excited and wet, and you want to scream for help but you can't remember how to speak. Someone is saying something, but the words don't mean anything to you, and the relentless sucking on your clit is making it hard to focus on anything else. You want to moan, to arch your back, to press your legs shut, but your body isn't your own. Maybe you cum. Maybe you don't. It's hard to tell.

You come to slowly, blearily. You become aware of your surroundings one thing at a time, and out of order; first you notice the wetness, then the soreness, then the sunlight behind your closed eyelids. You stretch and rub the sleep out of your eyes, but your hands come away with more than the usual eye grit on them. With a jolt you realize your face is painted with cum, and looking down you can tell that it isn't just your face. There's cum on your tits, on your stomach, even your thighs and feet, and a hand between your legs confirms its inside you too. Hands shaking, you scoop it off your thighs and stomach, trying to get as much as you can into your pussy, fingering it deeper and deeper. You must have really taken a pounding last night, because your pussy is sore and your groin feels bruised, but the feeling of that cum inside you is worth every ounce of pain. You put a few pillows under your ass, trying to keep your hips elevated, keep it from spilling out for as long as possible. You imagine it taking root in your womb, changing your body, making your breasts and belly swell with motherhood. You imagine men you've never seen coming into you home while you're asleep and hungrily drinking your milk, squeezing and sucking so you wake up with your nipples sore. You wish one of them was here to fuck the cum deeper inside you, but you make do with your fingers. This time when you cum it's different. It isn't like the first orgasm of the day. It feels like maybe the fifth time you've cum in the last few hours; barely pleasure at all, just spine-tingling, mind-numbing sensation. Is it possible to cum in your sleep? It feels like it shouldn't be allowed, but you're having trouble thinking straight...

You need to stop touching yourself. You're sore and trembly and weirdly exhausted for someone who just woke up, but you can't stop thinking about those strangers in your bedroom, the cocks that must have been in your cunt and your asshole and your mouth. Your clit throbs, begging your fingers for just one more release. You make a compromise with yourself. You put on some panties to keep too much cum from leaking out, and you go to the kitchen to look at the pictures. But there are no polaroids on the kitchen table. Just a cheap plastic USB drive with your name in permanent marker on the side.

It shouldn't be a surprise that they know your name. They've been in your house, they can obviously find your name on your mail or your computer or your driver's license. But seeing it there in unfamiliar handwriting, one more tiny violation of privacy, makes your clit throb again, as if to remind you of its presence.

The voice of your elementary school librarian echoes in your head as you retrieve your laptop and return to bed. It is profoundly stupid, she reminds you, to plug an unfamiliar drive into your computer. There's no telling what kind of malware it could contain, and that kind of access could allow hackers to take complete control of your computer. But you've already done the most profoundly stupid thing. You've done it repeatedly, in fact, and you're in deep enough now that there may not be any going back. The drive contains a single folder, also with your name on it. The folder is full of pictures and videos, hundreds of them, from different cameras and different perspectives, every angle you could possibly want from the events of last night. Men in rubber masks, too many to count, taking turns raping your lifeless body. Stuffing their cocks down your throat and laughing as you choke reflexively. Squeezing your tits, pinching and biting your nipples. Playing with your pussy, intermittently fucking it and trying to shove ever-larger objects inside it. There's a closeup video of your face as one of the men ejaculates onto it. Another of your pussy as a cock pulls out, allowing a fat glob of cum to collect just at the entrance of your unresponsive hole. The last file in the folder is a .txt file, containing a single line of text: a string of numbers and letters that you recognize.

Right there on the first page of your favorite site is a picture of you, asleep and drenched in cum. Below it is your home address, and a short note:

Found this tasty slut by accident at the above address, just noticed the rapeme in her window and figured I'd come back that night. Good pussy, and she must like what we did to her because she hasn't taken it down yet. Stop by if you're in town; we like a limp body, but I bet she'd put up a nice fight if you'd rather forgo sedatives. Just make sure to gag her lol. don't want the neighbors complaining and ruining our fun. and remember to leave her a souvenir! She especially likes polaroids ; )

By the time you've finished reading you're in a daze. Your eyes can't seem to focus on anything. Your mind can't form a coherent thought. Your clit is no longer asking for your attention; it now demands it. As you begin to pull the panties back down, you notice something: the light next to your laptop camera is on.

You place the laptop on the bed between your legs, and begin stuffing the panties into your cunt.

[xavigav]

The Reddit Blackout, #196, And Being New to Tumblr

okay i've seen a lot of people in the past ~24 hours or so confused by everything going on with Reddit & Tumblr from both sides - people new to tumblr who don't know how to use it, and tumblr users who don't know what's going on with reddit and why many of its users have joined up here i know this isn't really related to my blog but fun fact about me: i was up until recently a very active reddit user and even mod a subreddit, but I've also been on tumblr for about 3 years now on different accounts, so I think I can see pretty well from both sides of this and explain what's going on this post will be split in 2 sections: what happened with reddit (and what #196 means), and a guide for new users

1. What The Hell Is Going On With Reddit?

The thing that's caused all this ruckus is a major change to Reddit's API, which is what Reddit provides to people so they can pull directly from Reddit to make third-party apps or tools.

The change is that Reddit is changing its previously free API to be paid. Which on its own kinda sucks for developers, but it's not unexpected. They need to make money somehow, right?

The problem is that the API pricing is WAY TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. The developer of the most popular 3rd party Reddit app, Apollo, says it will cost him $20 million a year to continue running the app as normal.

Essentially, this pricing forces almost everything third-party to shut down, which causes 3 major problems:

Third-party apps cannot keep running, which sucks for normal users because Reddit's official app is awful. It's slow, its video player is a thing of nightmares, it doesn't have many useful features third-party developers have made.

It sucks even more for visually impaired users because they can't use the official Reddit app at all. Reddit's official app does not work with iOS's native text-to-speech function. Third party apps, on the other hand, often do. So Reddit is forcing blind users away.

Third-party moderator tools cannot keep running, which sucks for moderators because many rely on these tools to properly moderate their subreddits. And moderators are often necessary, because without them subreddits get banned and hate speech and even CSA can often run rampant.

So you see why this change is bad.

Reddit users were PISSED.

So over the past week and a half or so, they have been working on organizing a site-wide blackout. The majority of the most active subreddits have now gone private. Some are only doing it for 48 hours, others (such as r/196) are doing it indefinitely.

That's why you can't access most of Reddit right now, and that's why many users have come here.

You're probably still wondering, though - what is this #196?

Well, as you may guess, it's connected to that subreddit r/196 I just mentioned. r/196 is a subreddit which only has one rule: every time you visit, you must post before you leave.

That's it, that's the subreddit.

The thing about r/196 that set it apart from most other subreddits - and what lends the subreddit's users perfectly to Tumblr - is that it was dominated by queer and leftist users.

So now they've come here and set up shop in #196 and r/196 so they can continue their merry little shitposting.

There's a ton of lore related to r/196, actually, but this is already a long tumblr post and quite frankly I cannot be bothered to write about it at the moment.

2. I'm Here From Reddit, What Now?

Hello there, random new user. As a double-citizen of Reddit and Tumblr, let me show you around this place.

First off, there are some other people who are better at explaining that I am who have made some really helpful things. Watch this Strange Aeons video as a guide to Tumblr culture and functionality and read this post which directly compares Reddit and Tumblr.

Assuming you've done that, here's some additional advice of my own:

Do you miss sorting subreddits by top of all time/the year/the month? Well, you can do something very similar with tags! If you go to a tag at the top of the screen you can select top, and then at the dropdown that says "all time" you can select different time periods! Even 6 months, which Reddit hasn't ever had.

Tumblr has a lot of cool customization features! Even outside your icon/banner/bio, you can change you blog colors and on desktop you can have an html theme (which has its own thriving community here). That customization is part of what sets Tumblr apart from everywhere else - I think you'll enjoy playing with it.

Notes will probably confuse you at first. Unlike the different numbers for upvotes and comments, notes combines the total number of likes, reblogs, and replies into the same number.

Outside of organizing your own blog, when making your own posts tags are what help other people find your post. Use them! But don't abuse them, because then people will just block you.

There are three ways of people finding your post: if someone follows you, if someone follows the tag(s) assigned to your post, and if someone is just scrolling through the tag(s) assigned to your post (and also the secret 4th way no one uses, which is finding it on the trending page, but even if people did use it no one will find your post initially that way)

tumblr is no longer The Discourse Website. And unlike what Reddit wants you to believe for some reason, it is very much alive still. Most of the people seeking fights have moved to Twitter (though some have also moved back here again). You will not get any brownie points for being a dipshit like you do on some subreddits.

So there, welcome to the hellsite (affectionate), you'll pick up on all the in-jokes eventually, for now just try not to be a nuisance and soon enough this'll be your new internet home.

[elodieunderglass]

Can you re-describe your flight rising lying story? I’m afraid I don’t know it and I can’t find it on your blog anywhere

Ah sorry you can’t find anything on this blog! But when I tricked Flight Rising, it was about birthday dragons.

At some point before the 2millionth dragon was born, I noticed that dragons were being hatched with IDs like 19890902. That’s a birthday!

So naturally I went and submitted a post on the anonymous tumblr confession blog DramaRising, where unhappy people complained about dragons. This was my only post on this blog, which I did not even follow or read. I simply went in to a random dive bar, dropped an explosive, and left.

The post was something like, “I’ve just found my birthday dragon. Be sure to get yours quick!” I believe there was no further explanation of what a birthday dragon even was? I was just momentarily possessed of a spirit of mischief.

Carnage ensued.

Everyone assumed that it was an established new trend, and they were FRANTIC to secure theirs. They posted their birthdays online, threads sprang up, and there was a surge in activity. Cheeky people were exalting birthday dragons to the great woe of the dozens of players sharing these birthdays.

Eventually one of the mods posted that it was now dragon-illegal to post a dragon ID with reference to it being a birthday.

Many of the threads have been deleted, but for example in 2018 people were still talking about it.

Here’s a Reddit thread in which a better historian than myself recalled them selling for 20 million coins.

Nobody could figure out how the trend had started … but by the time they were chasing their birthday dragon, it was already well under way. The trend was a trend! It was trending! It made sense! You only had one chance (or two, if you used USA/UK style dates) to get it, you were competing with others, it was unique and random and could never be repeated… the conditions were perfect for a wild frenzy. It was very funny and good.

There is another punchline: I do not own my own birthday dragon. Someone else has it. It would have been SMART to secure my own birthday dragon before setting off an illegal stock market surge in birthday dragons, but i did not, because…

… i have never cared very much about dragon IDs.

lmao

[catboybiologist]

Alright. We need to talk about screenshotting my posts and putting them on other sites.

tl;dr: feel free to screenshot and spread my posts, but if you do so or see someone else doing so, please let me know. Either tag me (same username on youtube and reddit) or send me a link here.

Reasoning/why I'm saying this now under the cut.

Recently, I've noticed increase in the number of my posts that have made it to the subreddit r/curatedtumblr. This subreddit is a bit of a gateway to tiktok, youtube, and any other site that reposts tumblr screenshots - usually, AI video voiceover videos use the exact screenshots that were posted to reddit first, so usually r/curatedtumblr is the first "leak" of a post having reach outside of tumblr itself.

Now.

Most of the time, I don't have a problem with this. I even like it when random stuff I say has a reach beyond my usual community, and maybe even has a chance to resonate with someone that wouldn't have seen it otherwise. I don't know which one of my posts are going to resonate with other communities and other people, so I also don't want the only way for a an idea of mine to make it to another platform to be me manually posting that idea there myself. curatedtumblr has a blacklist of blogs who do not want to be post to that subreddit, but for this reason, I don't necessarily want to add myself to this blacklist. And of course, most of the time what gets reposted is a random shitpost, so its not a big deal.

However. Occasionally, a post of mine that is political, or has a deeper discussion associated with it, or something along those lines, is reposted elsewhere. And well, things can get very weird. Discussion can go in directions that I can't control, context can be added or removed that completely alters my point, and I can start to attract hate from people without even knowing it. And when this happens, it tends to spill back to me. When my posts make it to other platforms, its pretty normal to get a slight uptick in hate, or even just people finding that post and adding their own misinterpretation or discussion that happened 100% without me knowing. Being looped into the conversation, or even being able to see what kind of

A frustrating, but ultimately harmless example, is the "peak androgyny gandalf big naturals" post. I added context to that to clarify the way I was making fun of societal standards of androgyny as a whole, when the post instead seemed to be interpreted as the "correct" way to be nonbinary, which was not my intention at all.

I found the post on reddit, posted my own screenshots with the context I added, and was able to participate in the conversation, which helped a lot! But, the original, contextless post was up long enough that it pretty much solidified that misinterpretation as the main way people read that post.

I considered posting something like this then, but again, its ultimately harmless. I would've liked to participate in the reddit discussion earlier, but no biggie. So I didn't mention anything then.

Today, I opened reddit and saw this:

That title is not mine. It was added by the person who posted it to curatedtumblr. I've since had a respectful conversation with u/Hummerous, and they agreed to take the post down. 0 hate to them, again, they were respectful, and I'm screenshotting their username with permission.

This reads as a call for violence. Specifically, it reads as a call for violence that I am saying, and was attributed to me without my knowledge or consent.

This was not the intention of the original post. I was specifically referring to social ostricization, deplatforming, and anger responses, which are the forms of "silencing" that conservatives typically complain about.

Look. Responsible left wing gun ownership is something I support. Calls to extreme action are sometimes warranted. However, I am not qualified to comment on these, encourage them, or communicate about them. Communication of a specific topic is a skill. I do not possess that skill as it relates to guns or gun ownership. There are many, many other activists who do. Miscommunication can be dangerous. I want the most qualified and strongest voices to communicate properly. For this issue, that is not me.

This post isn't even about gun ownership, but suddenly, I'm forced to comment on it. If it seems like I'm pussyfooting around the topic, then yeah, I am- because this post is a little fucking scary on my end, and escalates rhetoric against me and others around me. Again, without my knowledge or consent.

I saw this post and was able to request it be taken down. But by that time, it already had 1.2k upvotes and god knows how many people who had seen it. If I were tagged earlier, I could've asked for that earlier, and I would be a little less jumpy right now.

So please. PLEASE. If you see a post of mine on another platform, please either ping me on that platform or send me a link to that post via tumblr DMs.

[waspsinyouryard]

Alrighty gamers,

As a "reddit refugee" who has been on Tumblr for a year at this point and hopefully knows some stuff about how this website and its userbase operate (even though I haven't been on that frequently), here's what I have learned over the course of my time here that might be helpful to any redditors coming here (long bullet list incoming):

Absolute Basics

Apply a profile picture to your blog. It can be anything, but it needs to be there. If you have a default profile picture then you will probably be blocked on sight by almost everyone. It's not personal; you just look an awful lot like a bot.

Make at least 1 original post on your blog. It can be anything—from a long introduction to a random shitpost—as long as it isn't the sort of post that a bot would make. Maybe hold off on posting sexual gifs with a bunch of random unrelated tags for the time being.

Interaction With Posts

Likes on this platform are sort of like saving posts and comments on Reddit. They do add a note and they can be seen if you don't have your likes set to private, but they don't help spread the post at all and are most useful for later easy access.

Reblogs without added text or tags are mostly analogous to crossposting in function, although not in website culture. Instead, think of it more like taking a screenshot of a post somewhere else online and posting it onto your favorite subreddit of choice. Reblog things you find cool/funny/pretty/have something to add to/whatever frequently.

Comments on Tumblr are mostly like comments on Reddit. The biggest difference is that you can't have comment threads.

Posting (including reblogs)

Tag things when relevant. Especially tag topics that people might want to avoid, like bigotry or very long posts.

In your main text, say whatever it is you feel you want to say/add. If you're reblogging, this is were you put your hilarious zingers that will be forever immortalized by r/tumblr repost bots.

Tags are frequently used to elaborate or say anything that's not the main point of the post or reblog.

Interacting with other users

Don't be afraid to block people.

Don't be afraid to follow people. Following tags is functional, but following people that post things you are interested in is better.

If I'm leading anyone terribly astray, please feel free to add on to and correct this post

[puff0o0]

okay okay-i've been seeing your self aware video game charaters seires so uhmmm

WHAT ABT SELF AWARE ROACH????

or self aware Alejandro?

sorrg this took so long, had to wait until tumblr finally started showing my writing to other people 😒

Roach

♡ In general, it was hard for roach to show that he was aware and that he loved you. He couldn't talk and he wasn't sure if you'd be able to understand sign language or if you even knew it. Not to mention, he felt the never-ending urge to stick to the script instead of just outright telling you he was aware

♡ Eventually, he gets sick of hiding it. He gets sick of not being able to hear you talk to *him*, to see your hold *his* hand as much as you talk about it. He wants to let you know that everything you've day dreamed about can and will come true

♡ It starts off small; random sounds in text popping up. It was in morse code, so you looked up why this was as you had never seen it before. No one else had this issue? No reddit posts, game article, or people on tumblr had this pop up. So you took matters into your own hands and translated it. 'I love you.'

Alejandro

♡ He's not subtle about it at all. If anything, he's sick of being stuck in a screen. He could be with the love of his life right now but instead he's stuck in code with a bunch of... robots that he used to think were real people. Talking to them wasn't enough, he needed something real, something happy, something like you

♡ Originally, you would have to buy him from the battle pass or from the new pack with him in it. However, it seemed as if you had gotten every skin for him despite not paying anything? It allowed you to play as him in multi-player and he seemed to talk a lot. Nicknames like 'mi vida' or 'mi amor' ending his voicelines every time you got a kill. You could have sworn you heard 'that's my girl/boy'

♡ It soon leads to him breaking out of the screen because he simply cannot just take hearing your voice. He needs to feel you, to hold you, to kiss you. Your warmth and love was something he never knew he craved and he would be damned if he let that go away because of a measly screen

[animentality]

my main problem with terfs outside of the obvious issue is that they stand for nothing.

they don't care about women's rights. they don't care about intersectionality. they don't care about racism or feminism.

they don't care about changing the world for the better, or making anyone happy, or saving people from the fucked up world we all live in.

they have no fucking platform. they aren't pro abortion, they aren't pro choice, they aren't pro women, they aren't pro men, they aren't pro children.

they don't care about anything at all, not even themselves.

because they are the stereotypical high school mean girls, who spend their time cyberbullying because they're too chicken shit to bully anyone in real life.

they enjoy being nasty because there's something broken up inside of them that they don't want to examine.

they have no real goal. all they want is to take out their aggressions on an easy target.

because think about it like this, right???

a normal, happy, well adjusted human being with a family and friends is NOT spending their time harassing random bloggers like me and sending death threats and sharing rancid racist memes and lurking on /pol or reddit or twitter, harassing trans people who exist.

someone who has friends and hobbies and a life, is not spending their time being as horrible as they can to as many people online as possible.

Terfs are NOT people who have met other people. Who have things they feel positively about.

If they were, they wouldn't make their entire personality about hatred.

If they were, they wouldn't be fucking all over Tumblr, stomping down on any pro trans post they see.

if you, a regular person, are online and you say hey trans people are just people who want to live as they want.

and then you get a deluge of hate.

just remember that terfs are absolute fucking freaks. they are not normal people.

they are not people with jobs and boyfriends and girlfriends and a community of supportive people, because if they were, they wouldn't be on fucking line all the time, wasting their time trying to get reactions out of people.

they are attacking you not because they're defending anything, but because they have to attack. because they WANT to attack.

because they like being mean, because it's all they have.

because they feel fucked up, and they don't know why, and there's a million things wrong with their lives, but they don't know how to fix them.

and it's sad.

feel bad for them, for a second, and then worry about trans people, who deserve it more.

terfs are not worth your time.

what matters now is defending trans people, more than attacking terfs.

[loycspotting]

Leaving Tumblr

Last night, my account was terminated. I don't know why. I was in the middle of using the site when suddenly I was locked out. No warnings. No announcements. Nothing. I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't eat or sleep. There was no word from Tumblr's management team. I could only explain what happened and sit on my hands. I felt utterly helpless waiting and hoping for a miracle. I had a home here. I had friends who became family. People that I love. Fandom that was my absolute joy and honor to participate in. It was all ripped away for no reason at the drop of a hat. My work. My mutuals. My home. Gone. Just like that. I couldn't say goodbye. I didn't know if or how I'd be able to find my moots again. I was able to create a second account called @loycspotting-thee2 and wracked my brain trying to remember my friends' usernames while terrified that that account would disappear too. I couldn't focus on anything. I was completely distraught. Thankfully, a miracle did happen and my account was magically reactivated. Again, no warning. No one reached out and explained what happened. One moment it was here, gone the next, then here again. In all my years of being on social media, I've never feared that a platform would kick me off like that until last night. I stayed up reading story after story of people who have used Tumblr, some of them holding accounts for YEARS with thousands of followers, logging on just to find it wiped from existence on any random day. This is a serious and repetitive issue, but not apparently to Tumblr. I may not have been a Tumblr user for long, but this incident has irrevocably broken my trust. No amount of saving and cataloging and backing up my account will protect me from being a victim of this website's carelessness. I would always have to worry if I'd be the unlucky user of the day that got their account deleted with no guarantee that it would be reactivated. I cannot and will not live in fear that everything I've created and the home I've found will be taken from me again against my will. Therefore, I have decided that the best option for me is to deactivate my account and say goodbye on my own terms. I am absolutely heartbroken to come to this decision. This has been the most unreal online space. I loved it here! It was everything I've been looking for and I only regret not signing up the first time I heard about it all those years ago. I love being in the Ewan McGregor fandom! Where it's not just a fandom. It's a fanhome 😁. I found my voice here, as well as people who heard me. People who understood me. This was my absolute favorite place to be, bar NONE. I felt fulfilled writing and reviewing. There were so many more things I wanted to do and experience with you guys. It was you who encouraged me. You listened, reblogged, commented, and messaged. You accepted me. From the bottom of my heart I love my mutuals. Even if we don't follow each other, if we've talked or interacted with each other's posts I love you too. I love the passion and creativity flowing through this site. I don't know what will happen with the Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage project. I'm not ready to quit just yet. Maybe I'll start a Reddit or letterboxd account. Of course, for the writing, I can consider joining Ao3. If you want to keep in touch, then I implore you to message me so we can work something out. The friendships I made here are paramount to everything else. I'm going to leave this up for 9 days (or until I'm terminated again 🙄) to give myself time to get things in order. On September 1st, I will say goodbye.

[hangenderzoe]

If Hange Zoe had social media

Solely uses instagram to repost stories that they were tagged in. If they do post, I imagine them being:

Photos of them at a wedding wearing a suit

Selfies and photos after a successful experiment 

Photos during a fieldwork

A single photo of an interesting leaf/rock

Posts a bunch of lame jokes and shower thoughts they had on twitter (X). They also retweet important news. 

Sometimes they would browse on reddit, tumblr, and facebook for science puns and relatable science shit. They also like to read random theories.

I feel like they’d enjoy watching tiktok. Their fyp would be those galvanized square steel room design stuff, silly cat, dog, whatever animal videos, wood soup asmr, and satisfying videos.

On youtube they would watch conspiracy theories, more cat videos, world history, and aqualife/national geographic documentaries. I bet they would’ve also loved buzzfeed.

[thehatchetfieldpocketsquirrel]

hello tumblr

I was just at Starkid Innit and apparently there's a bunch of Starkid fans on here these days so HIIII. I've mostly been engaging with with fandom on Reddit and Youtube but I was a tumblrite in Ye Olden Days and this is probably a better venue for posting random musings than Reddit. ANYWAY have some post-gig thoughts written on my phone on the train:

Corey Dorris was incredible. Give that man a lead role yesterday. He absolutely slayed Showstoppin' Number and now I kinda want to see him as Hidgens. He's so damn charismatic and his voice is amazing and HE DESERVES THE WORLD

"Those books, which were written by nobody" - thank you Joey, A+ allyship

MEREDIIIIITH ❤ I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. So delighted that they got to do a load of Firebringer stuff and that they got SUCH big cheers from everyone, I feel like Firebringer is often underrated

Getting to hear Jeff singing Max Jagerman's part in the NPMD title number, YES THANK YOU VERY GOOD

Obvs I knew Lauren had range but seeing her perform bits from so many different roles in one evening really cemented it, wow what a voice, AND she's fucking hilarious

"Where'd you get your shirt!?"

Jaime Lyn's voice and mannerisms and unhinged facial expressions and THOSE BOOTS and AAAA I'm so glad she's having off-Broadway success in Five but also it's wonderful that she's still performing with SK! "Thank you for 15 years" 🤩😭

"I'm a Starkid founding member, I really should have a super solo number" - we love you anyway Brian

Super tired but maybe more thoughts later?? Mostly I am just so delighted to have finally seen these glorious nerds live ❤

[phantomrose96]

This is really random but I just saw one of your posts (something about not knowing the songs you were listening to were about kicking orphans and diverting songs from public libraries because your knowledge of human language is gone at the drop of a good bop). And it was on one of those reading out loud meme commentary videos on YT and I had to take a step back and go

wow 😂

It was very weird and just wanted to share. Toodaloo~

See people on this webbed site talk a fair bit about posts "breaching containment" when something breaks the 10,000 note barrier and your notifications become unintelligable

People talk less about when a post escapes orbit. When a post just leaves tumblr entirely. And understandably because in my experience it takes months or years to notice a post has escaped orbit. The notifications have stopped. There's nothing informing you where it's gone or how far it's traeveled. You only notice when a jpeg-artifact-ravaged image of an instagram screenshot of a reddit screenshot of a facebook screenshot of your post cycles back to your desk with an ifunny watermark branded on its ass like, where have you been my child? what have you seen? who did this to you?

Anyway that lyric post has seen more of the world than I ever will

[firefistjaigio]

OP social media headcanons (only some lol)

thinked too hard about what some OP characters social media use would be like

The Strawhats:

Luffy: avid IG reels and Youtube shorts user, they do not let his ass on tik tok. He posts random shit he sees on his IG story and also makes reels about beetles. He begs Usopp to help him make a YouTube channel but Usopp will do most of the work for it so he's not fully on board yet

Chopper: Gen Alpha realness he is crazy about Roblox, they don't really let him have his own account but he look at reels and shorts with Luffy

Zoro: Literally nothing but youtube to watch workout, sword, martial art, fitness, and like some eastern philosophy motivational content. Nami also downloaded a locator app on his phone so the strawhats can find him and stop him from wandering to another country. Oh and he tried google maps, fucking hated it

Sanji: He is sharing flowery good morning gifs on whatsapp and facebook all the time. He runs the account for the baratie on Instagram and it's actually pretty savvy but also real. Oh and he's on Snapchat for loser reasons

Nami: Gen Z legend, she is PROLIFIC. Makes really cool tik toks about navigation and is lowkey an educational influencer. Also is on Instagram and is somewhat villainous on Twitter with Usopp. Scams people on Discord

Usopp: Lord he is on everything. He will demolish you on Twitter, Nami helps, he has doxxed evil bitches with her help. He's evil in IG reel comment sections but not like that bad. Oh and he posts pretty cool stuff on tik tok and Ig reels about all the stuff he makes, everyone always hypes his art. Oh and like he's probably always just looking for tips on Reddit and sharing answers too

Robin: Tumblr most definitely, archeology and history blog on tumblr

Franky: Runs a facebook account and instagram account for his mechanic? woodworking, robotics just whatever the fuck shop, we love him for it.

Jinbei: Facebook mom, also shares dumb stuff he sees on facebook to the others on whatsapp

Brook: Also just nefarious on Facebook but Usopp helped him open an account to post music, has a following from people who were fans of him back in the day and also just music fans.

This isn't a me post if I don't talk about the ASL brothers sighs

So the brothers overall have a childhood youtube channel with vlogs they would post of their shenanigans, has a lot of of fun and crazy stuff on there. They kept it all out of fondness for the memories.

Sabo: Lord... he is on political twiter bullying THE FUCK out of right wingers. He is practically everywhere, he runs a tik tok account for political organizing and education that Koala also runs with him. He has used tumblr, but not really much. He has an Instagram he mostly neglects for being crazy and discussing theory on Twitter. He goes on Discord sometimes but the modern au version of the revolutionary army shed that for Signal I guess. Sabo is also on bluesky, idk what goes on there though.

Ace: mostly offline, justs uses Whatsapp to chat with his people yeah.

I'm gonna add Law to this post too because bye

Law: LinkedIn... ew... and twitter but like in a stressed way like he just scrolls on it and just tweets about his life.

[loveburrow]

You’ve Got To Prove It To Me

Trigger Warnings: CNC (I guess?), pushing boundaries a little, throwing up, Joe being possessive/angry

Also just now realizing how long this is… sorry 😭

You and Joe had dated for four months before you decided to end things. His fame was just too much for you. The cameras any time you’d go out. The hate comments after he lost a game. Teenage girls judging your every move on tumblr and reddit. Joe was the love of your life, but you couldn’t be with him. He was a superstar and you were a regular girl who worked a regular job. The toll that those four months took on your mental health was something that would take you twice as long to recover from.

Joe loved you though. In fact, in those few short months he knew you were the love of his life too. You were the first girl he’d ever posted on social media. It was even his idea to hard launch you. He was so proud to be with you. You made him the happiest he had ever been. Joe’s not one to beg so when you told him you wanted to end things he let you go without a fight. He loved you so much that he ultimately wanted to see you be happy but he secretly felt so disrespected. So not good enough. So insecure. So embarrassed. He had everything: money, status, fame, an amazing NFL career, and everything that he had worked so hard for got in the way of the one thing he ever truly wanted. A girl like you to be with him. He would have traded it all for you and he hated that the fame ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him. He gave his full heart to you and you tore it apart. And he wasn’t happy about it.

But little did he know, you were heartbroken as well. So heartbroken that you reconnected with your ex just to feel something. And when all of those old feelings returned, a one night stand turned into a few nights of good old fashioned fucking no strings attached. Somewhere along the way you realized that you deserved more than a situationship. You missed Joe and you wanted him back but you knew he’d never take you. You decided to end things with your ex but not before your planned last night together.

Two months after the breakup when Joe got a random text from you, his heartbeat accelerated. Did you want him back? He sure hoped so but nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he opened the message. There were two photos. A sexy picture of you in beautiful lacy black lingerie and a mirror selfie of you topless. You looked stunning. And Joe was so hopeful until he read the message which said “Excited to see you tonight Hayes.” He blocked your number before throwing his phone at the wall. How dare you.

So a few weeks later when he ran into you at a mutual friend’s wedding, he was pissed. He never wanted to see you again if he couldn’t have you. When you saw that you were seated next to him at the wedding dinner, you couldn’t have been more elated. You planned to tell him how much you missed him, how you were sorry about the breakup, and how you wanted him back if he’d take you. When Joe saw that you were seated next to him at the wedding dinner, he was angry. He was so angry that his face was red as he sat down. Again, you looked stunning. You always did.

“Hey, Joe. How have you been? It’s so good to see you,” you smiled, trying to make a good impression. “I’ve been alright,” he replied, not making eye contact with you. He couldn’t. Your brown eyes had a way of melting him and he didn’t want you have that power over him. Not tonight. “Can we talk outside after this?” you asked kindly. His ears perked up. Did you want him back? “Sure,” he replied trying his best to keep it cool.

After a very awkward dinner, you two stepped outside for some air and a chat. “Joe, to be honest I’ve missed you so much these last few weeks. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to be your girl again. I’m so sorry for breaking up with you. You didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t deserve that. You know that having all eyes on me was a lot but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes for us to be together,” you said.

“You know, I always thought you were way too good a girl to ever send nudes to someone. Let alone the first dude who asks,” he stated sternly. “Huh? What are you talking about? I didn’t send nudes to anyone,” you lied. You didn’t know what else to say and you felt embarrassed, realizing what you had done.

“You sent me nudes that were for Hayes after we broke up. So you’re the kind of girl who sends nudes to the first dude who asks. Did you fuck him?” he asked still trying to play it as cool as possible. “Yeah we had sex. I’m so sorry, Joe. It must have been an accident. I didn’t mean for you to ever see those,” you replied.

Joe leaned down closer to your ear and spoke softly but strongly. “(Y/N) I don’t share. You told me your pussy was mine and you gave it to someone else. He can have you,” Joe stated. “Joe, I’m sorry. I was just trying to rebound. You realize that ending things with you hurt me just as bad as it hurt you right?” you replied.

“Really, you had to delete our Instagram pictures after they had been up for weeks and a couple thousand people saw them on your private account. I had to delete them after millions of people saw them. Do you realize how embarrassing that was for me? Remind me never to post a girl on Instagram ever again. You left me lonely. You left me heartbroken. And then you gave your pussy to someone else. And you have the audacity to ask me to be with you again. I’m famous. Dating me comes with all of the things that you knew it would come with the first time so what do you think will be different now?” he asked.

“What’s different now is that I’ve lived life with you and I’ve lived life without you. Life is a beautiful and perfect chaos with you and it’s cloudy and calm and depressing without you. I’m so crazy in love with you, Joe. That never changed and after what went down between me and Hayes, I know it never will. I’ll do anything to be your girl again, Joe. What do you want me to do?” you asked.

No girl was going to embarrass Joe and leave him high and dry like you did and just win him back with a sexy red dress and a smile. He was going to make you earn it. He came closer to you and brushed your hair out of your face with his fingers. He cupped his hand under your chin forcing you to look up at him. “Are you still my good girl?” he asked. You looked him in the eyes and nodded. “Well if I’m going to take you back, you’re going to have to prove it to me okay?” he replied. You nodded again. “Meet me in room 617 at midnight. Wear something that shows me how much you love me.” he commanded before heading back inside.

At midnight on the dot, you knocked on his door wearing a lacy white lingerie set that Joe had bought you a while back. You had packed it hoping you’d end up in this situation. Joe opened the door and immediately took off the oversized t-shirt you were wearing along with your bra and panties and you two wanted no time getting started with a steamy make out session. His kisses were desperate and needy and aggressive. He’d been missing you and he thought he’d never get to kiss you again. But he also felt played by you. Since when does a girl think she can just break up with Joe Burrow? He had to show you who’s boss and he had to make sure you knew whose girl you were.

He sat down on the bed, his back against the headboard with you straddling his lap. You placed both hands on his cheeks and looked longingly into his baby blue eyes. You knew how possessive he was. You knew that if another guy looked in your direction for too long he had a problem. You knew that hooking up with another guy was like driving a knife right through Joe’s chest again and again and again. You never meant for him to find out but now that he knew, you felt awful. His eyes looked so hurt and betrayed.

“Your pussy isn’t mine anymore. You gave it away so you’re gonna have to give me something else that I can have,” Joe stated. “You can have any part of me, Joe. What part of me do you want? ” you replied. “You’re gonna have to give me your throat, okay?” he responded.

You were never the best at blowjobs and that’s something that you opened up to Joe about when you were together. Months ago, you told Joe how blowjobs always made you feel so vulnerable and used. It wasn’t your greatest strength as a girlfriend and one of your previous boyfriends wasn’t kind about it. You knew that Joe was testing you. He wanted to see how far you’d be willing to go for him. He had to make sure you’d do things for him that you wouldn’t do for any other guy. He’s possessive like that. He has to have a piece of you that no one else has. You could look in his eyes and listen to the tone of his voice and know that he was going to push you. But if that’s what it took to be Joe’s girl then he could push as far as he wanted. “It’s yours Joe,” you said.

“Has anyone ever been deep in your throat before?” he asked still holding eye contact with you. You looked so stunning in that set that he’d bought you. “I’ve blowed my boyfriends in the past. I told you that before,” you answered. “Has anyone been deep down your throat before? Have you even taken anyone’s cock all the way down?” he clarified. “No never,” you responded, starting to feel a bit anxious about what he wanted you to do.

“Okay that’s what you��re gonna have to do for me baby. You’re gonna have to give me your throat. You’re gonna have to take my cock all the way down, deeper than you’ve taken anyone else. I want the part of your throat that no one’s ever had and no one else will ever have but me if you run off again,” Joe explained. “Joe, I’m not going to run off again. I don’t know if I can do that. You know my gag reflex is so bad. I hate gagging,” you replied concerned about his request.

“If you want to be mine again you have to show me that you’re a good girl. And that you’re submissive like you’re supposed to be. And that you know who’s in control in this relationship,” he stated, clearly still hurt by you having the audacity to put on the pants in the relationship and break his heart.

“Joe, I don’t think it’s going to work. Like anatomically,” you said, the anxiety really starting to fill your chest. You were a very petite girl. 5’4 and thin. In fact, when you were together half of the comments you’d get were about you and Joey’s size difference. “If you’re my good girl, it’ll go down,” he replied. He could see the look of concern on your face. He knew what he was doing. He wanted you back but not before he punished you for leaving him. No one gets to treat Joe Burrow that way.

“How about we start with just my fingers? Would that be okay?” he asked. Joe loved you and even though he loves to act hard, he didn’t really want to hurt you. He just wanted to push your limits a bit and make you think about what you had done. “Yeah we can do that,” you hesitantly replied. “Before we do this, you know how much I love you right?” he asked tucking your hair behind your ears, your legs still on either side of this body, your breasts still dangerously close to his face. “I know, Joe,” you responded. “Good. You know how much I respect you right?” he asked. You nodded. “Good. So before we get started I need you to promise me that you won’t let me cross any boundaries that you have okay? Don’t let me hurt you. If it gets to be too much or you’re too uncomfortable you have to let me know. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to have a little fun,” he explained.

“Okay I’ll let you know,” you said, your responses to his questions becoming shorter the more nervous you were feeling. “If it gets to be too much just flick me twice and I’ll stop whatever I’m doing right then and there okay? Promise me you won’t be scared to tap out,” he said. “I promise, Joe,” you replied.

With that, he had you turn around so you were sitting on his lap with your back against his chest, his back still against the headboard of the bed. “Go ahead and rest your head back on my shoulder baby. Just relax,” he instructed and you did as you were told.

“I’m just going to start with two fingers okay? If that’s too much let me know,” he said before giving you a tender loving kiss on the cheek. “Go ahead and open your mouth up for me. Stick out your tongue. Good girl,” he said as you followed his commands. He slowly ran two long fingers down the back of your mouth. You gagged. You hated gagging so your natural reflex was to grab Joe’s hand and pull it out of your mouth.

“You’ve got to let me in there baby. You’re gonna gag. It’s okay. It’s just your body’s natural reaction but you’re safe. I’m not going to let you choke. Do you trust me?” he asked. You trusted him so you nodded your head.

“Open up your mouth for me baby. Just relax. It’s okay if you gag,” he reassured. You did as you were told and Joe slid his two fingers toward the back of your mouth again. You gagged and Joe said “good girl,” before sliding his fingers deeper. You gagged again and Joe said “good girl” again before sliding his fingers in even further. This time your gags were mixed with coughing as your body tried to expel him. To your body, his fingers weren’t where they were supposed to be. Joe’s dick was getting harder with every sign of your discomfort. He held his fingers right where they were as you continued to cough and gag. “That’s it baby. I know baby. That’s pretty intense huh. Atta girl. Atta girl,” he praised you as you started to writhe in his lap, his fingers still pressing on a horrible spot in your throat. Finally you grabbed his hand again, pulling his fingers out of your mouth. He responded by giving you another kiss on the cheek. “Good job baby. Are you alright?” he checked in. You nodded but were feeling worried. How were you supposed to do this with something as big as Joe’s penis? You just knew that he was going to break you.

“Are you okay to keep going?” he asked. You said yes even though you were scared of what was to come. “That’s my good girl. Now we’re going to do what we just did but I’m going to push my cock down instead of my fingers. Is that okay?” he asked, making sure he had your consent. You said yes and his face lit up. He was so excited to get to use your throat. Partially because he’d always fantasized about you deepthroating him and partially because he knew you wouldn’t enjoy it. “Alright so I’m going to give you a little bit of control and let you pick the position since you’re being so good. Do you want to sit on your knees against the wall over there or do you want to lay on your back on the edge of the bed?” he offered. You had never tried to deepthroat before so you really didn’t know what to decide. You chose to play it safe and stick to the position that you give blows in. “I’ll get on my knees for you daddy,” you replied before kneeling down on the floor with your back to the wall. “Daddy? You’re really trying to get back on my good side huh,” he laughed. He loved to be called daddy back when you two were together.

“I’m going to put my hand back here behind your head to give you some support okay? You’re gonna have to open up as big as you can for me baby. Stick your tongue out. Just relax. Good girl,” Joe said as he placed one hand on the back of your head and used the other hand to guide his penis into your mouth. He went devastatingly slow, wanting you to feel the anticipation of how deep he was getting. Around four inches in, you started to gag. “Atta girl,” Joe praised continuing to push deeper until he hit a point where he couldn’t push down anymore. Your throat was too tight and your body wouldn’t let him down any further. Your body really wasn’t happy and you were gagging pretty badly. Instead of removing his penis from your mouth, he watched you gag and choke from above, loving the sound. You placed your hands on his thighs and pushed away from him but you were against a wall so there was really nowhere to escape. “That’s not the safeword baby,” Joe responded with a devious smirk on his face. He tried again to push deeper but your body wouldn’t let him and you couldn’t breathe. You continued to gag and choke. You felt scared so you started hitting his thighs. He only laughed. “Do you remember the safeword angel?” he asked starting to get only a little bit concerned.

He loved being in control like this. He wanted to push your limits and that’s exactly what he was doing. He looked down at you gagging and choking with tears streaming down your face and snot running from your nose. What a mess you were for him. What a mess you were for him and only for him. He pulled out a little but still kept his penis in your mouth, giving you a bit of a break but still causing you to gag. “Look at me baby. Do you remember the safeword?” he asked again. You looked up at him and made eye contact and shook your head no. He immediately pulled out and you gasped for air, heaving.

“My good girl never did have a good memory huh,” he joked still standing over you as you sat on the floor on your hands and knees, eyes watering and breathing heavily. He knelt down in front of you and tried to make eye contact with you, but you couldn’t stop looking at the ground. “Are you okay?” he asked. You didn’t respond. You just felt shitty. You wanted so badly to be Joe’s girl again but at what cost. You knew him so you knew that he wanted to get back at you for leaving him but this was a lot. This was really ínstense. When you didn’t respond, he quickly embraced you, pulling you tightly to his chest as you started to cry. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay my girl. It’s okay. You did so good for me baby. You did so good,” he praised you, holding you tightly and stroking his fingers through your hair. “Just breathe. Just breathe. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Good girl,” he calmed you. This was the Joe you were in love with. The Joe who was a safe place for you. The Joe who was always there to comfort you.

“Did I push you too far?” he asked. “Joe, I can’t do what you want me to do. It won’t go down,” you sniffled as he wiped the tears from your eyes. “It’ll go down baby. You just have to be a good girl and open up your pretty throat for me okay? You just have to relax and let me down there,” he reassured. “When you’ve caught your breath we can try again but you have to be a good girl for it to go down,” he stated. You wanted nothing more than to please him. You wanted nothing more than to be Joey’s good girl again. So you wiped your tears, got back on your knees, and said “I’m ready. Let’s try again.”

“That’s my girl. Sit up tall and proud for me baby. You have a beautiful chest. You should be so proud of it,” he instructed. You straightened your back and looked up at him. “There’s my girl. You should always be so proud of how sexy you are,” he complimented causing you to smile softly. It is pretty cool that the actual sexiest man on earth thinks that you’re sexy too. “Alright open your mouth, stick out your tongue, relax your throat. We’re gonna get it down this time but you’ve got to work with me,” he said before you did as you were told. He slid his cock into your mouth very slowly, paying close attention to your body language. He didn’t want to upset you. He only wanted to push you to a place that only he could push. It was an ego thing. Again, around four inches in you started to gag and you placed your hands on his thighs again, pushing hard. “Remember the safeword is flicking my leg two times baby. What you’re doing isn’t the safeword so I’m going to keep going,” he said, pushing down again on the spot that he couldn’t get past the first time. “Open your throat up baby. You have to let me down there if you want to me by girl,” he reminded as he attempted to push down your throat again.

You just couldn’t relax. And you didn’t understand how to “open your throat up.” All you could do was continue to push hard on his thighs and choke as he continued to push against the spot that was giving him trouble again and again and again. He had no remorse. He was getting off on the way you were struggling with him in your throat. His dick was so big that you physically couldn’t take it all. He was causing your body so much stress. And he loved every second of it. He continued to fuck your throat harder as you pushed against him with all of your strength. “Stop fighting with me. You’re only making it worse for yourself,” he said as he fucked your throat harder and faster. You continued to gag and started to feel your dinner coming up. You looked up at him in distress and moaned “mmm” with your hand on your stomach, trying to communicate that you were going to be sick. “Is that upsetting your stomach baby?” he asked smirking down at you. You looked up at him and nodded in between strokes and gags. “It’s okay baby. That’s just your body’s reaction,” he replied unconcerned. You couldn’t breathe again and started to cry. He was going to make you throw up wasn’t he. He wanted to punish you that badly. When he saw you start to cry and shake below him he pulled out. “Joe, I’m gonna be sick,” you exclaimed getting up to go to the bathroom.

“No (y/n). Get back on your knees. You’re not going to throw up,” he stated. “Yes I am, Joe,” you replied looking at him with concern. “My good girl isn’t going to throw up right now. She’s going to get back on her knees and we’re going to try this one last time. We’re going to try to get it to go down and if it doesn’t go then I’ll just have to take your sexy ass. How’s that sound?” he asked. He knew that you hated anal even more than you hated blowjobs. You felt trapped. You didn’t want him in your throat again and you didn’t want to leave his hotel room single. You just wanted Joe. You didn’t want what he wanted to do to you. You started to break down. You got on the floor on your knees again and cried. This was just too intense.

“I can’t do it, Joe. It won’t go down. I don’t know how to open up for you. I’m trying so hard,” you cried on the floor as he kneeled down to hold you to his chest again. “I know that you can do it baby. I believe in you. You’ve just got to relax,” he said. “We’re only going to try one last time okay? You know the safeword. Don’t be scared to use it if you need to,” he reminded you.

Again, you wiped your tears and kneeled down in front of Joe in all of his height and glory. He was so beautiful. You opened your mouth up for him and Joe entered you yet again, reaching the spot that he couldn’t get past causing you to gag. “Just relax baby. Just relax. Open up big for me. Big. Big. Big. As big as you can. There you go. There you go. That’s my good girl. That’s my good girl. A little more to go. A little more to go. You’ve got to take this last inch. You’re almost done baby. You’re almost done. That’s my girl. That’s my girl. That’s my good girl. Just stay there baby. Hold it down right there,” he talked you through as he was finally able to push himself all the way down your throat, your lips against his pelvis and balls. He watched you from above as you gagged and choked and cried the whole way down, pushing against him with your hands on his thighs yet again. He made you hold that position, his cock all the way down your throat for what felt like an eternity as you continued to choke and try to cough him up. He loved watching you struggle and writhe below him. He loved that he had the power to do that to your body. Only he had the power to do that to your body.

You placed a hand on your stomach and looked up at him your eyes pleading for him to release you as you could feel the vomit coming up. “Throw up all over my cock baby. I’m all yours and you’re all mine,” he instructed as he gently pumped his cock in and out of the deepest part of your throat. You hated every second of it. It was the worst feeling you had ever felt. Your body hated him being that deep in you. Your body wanted nothing more than to get him out. And it was so hard to fight your body’s natural responses to what he was doing. You had no choice but to vomit on him while he held his cock at the deepest part of your throat. “That’s a good girl. Make a mess on me baby. Good. Go ahead and empty your stomach on me baby. Good girl. Get it all out. You have me baby. You would do anything for me huh. I love you,” he said as you emptied your dinner all over his cock and the floor. You felt embarrassed and ashamed. He wanted to punish you and he had done it. You flicked his thigh twice and he immediately pulled out, knelt down in front of you and gave you sweet kisses all over your head. “I knew you could do it baby. I don’t ever want to hear you say you can’t do something again. You did so good for me. Your throat was good to me. So warm and tight. That’s my good girl,” he spoke, trying to comfort you. You had done it. You had won Joey back. You were his girl again… so you thought.

“Now you just have to do that one more time with no hands. Don’t touch me. Keep your hands off of me and just fully submit to me okay? And then we’ll be all done,” Joe explained. You wanted to cry again. You already did what he wanted and now he wanted more. He had already made a mess of you and he wanted to do it again. But you wanted nothing more than to be his girl so you replied, “Joe do you promise this is the last one that I have to do?” “Yes, baby if you do this one really well with no hands then we’ll be all done,” he reassured. “Okay Joe. I love you,” you said before kneeling in front of him yet again and opening up your mouth.

“You’ve got to open up as wide as you can baby. Good girl. Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax. Take it down. Take it down. All the way. More. More. More. A little bit more. Let me push the rest down baby, you’re so close to being done. Relax. Be a good girl for me. You’re so close baby. Almost done. Almost done. Good girl. Atta girl. I knew you could do it. Stay right there. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. We’re gonna hold it down there until I feel like you’ve learned your lesson,” he narrated. He pushed down with even less ease this time as your body was so tense at this point in the night. Once he got to that troublesome spot he had to push hard and of course it triggered your gag reflex again. It was so uncomfortable and your body tried to cough him up but there was no use. He fought against you and pushed himself all the way down again despite you clearly suffering below him. You just wanted to be finished so you didn’t fight him. You focused really hard on holding your hands behind your back and submitting to whatever he wanted to do to your body. You coughed and choked and gagged but you didn’t touch him and at that point you had earned him back. You proved to him that you would do anything for him and he could have any and every part of you that he wanted. You were Joey’s good girl.

You sat there with your lips on his pelvis and his cock stretching your throat out for what felt like forever. You became desperate for him to pull out but you didn’t want him to ask you to do this again. You wanted to fully satisfy him this time. “That’s my good girl you’re taking that Iike a champ. My strong girl. Keep holding it. Keep holding it. Keep holding it. Keep holding it,” he spoke, loving the sound of you choking. You began to cry and shake still holding your hands behind your back. “I’m gonna count down from ten okay and then I’ll pull out. 10…9…8…,” you started to hit his thighs, trying to tap out but forgetting your safe word again. He was counting so incredibly slowly. “7…6…,” he started to pump in and out of the deepest part of your throat again, making sure to enjoy the last of what he was getting you to do. “5…4… don’t touch me or we’ll have to start over” he reminded causing you to stop hitting him and to hold your hands behind your back again as you choked. “3…2…,” he began to face fuck you hard. You let out a soft scream (since you had a cock down your throat there wasn’t much else you could do to cope with the stress that Joey was putting your body through). He spent about a minute face fucking you until he was satisfied and felt like you had learned that no one breaks up with Joe Burrow. “1,” he ended the countdown and pulled out.

He picked you up and placed you on the bed before grabbing a towel from the bathroom to clean you up with. He gently wiped away all of the fluids that had come out of you (the tears, the snot, the saliva, the vomit) and gave you sweet kisses all over your body before climbing into bed to cuddle with you. “That’s my good girl. I love you so much. I didn’t push too far did I?” he asked. “No, Joey. I would do anything for you,” you replied. “A few paparazzi pictures and hate comments on instagram are gonna be a breeze now huh?” he chucked. You laughed as well. “I would do anything for you Joey,” you replied, smiling. “That’s my girl. I’m so proud that you’re my girl,” he said giving you soft kisses on the cheek and gently rubbing your stomach. “So will you put me back on your instagram?” you giggled. “Hell no,” he laughed.