#random garbage

[knifefang]

🖇 random rant

trying not to lose my shit whenever someone says anything i like is bad.

like i know its their opinion. but it makes me so morbidly upset i want to strangle them until they say they like it.

"mcr is overrated" it got me out of one of my lifes greatest hellholes and made me realize i wasn't alone.

this goes for so many other things, neon genesis evangelion, blue period etc and it just hurts my feelings so fucking bad and i cant even tell the other person to shut up TT

and i dont mean it in a "they cant understand how deeply i relate to this piece of media" way, but in a "i respect their opinion but i am ohsodeeplyoffended by it" and the fault is with me T_T

[ekkonus]

Ya know, you can tell exactly how someone treats autistic people, by the way they treat cats.

[waveobjectshow]

!!!!?????!!

100% REAL ARCADE MACHINE FOUND IN THE WILD!!!!!?!

[50stressballs]

Me @ my therapist in 10th grade:

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Some Trash Facts about the Phenirells & Rei herself

Haku/Phen 28 is actually quite scared if his own duaghter, not bcs she's more powerful than him (bcs she's rlly not) but it's mainly bcs there will be times she can become very sassy & basically just go full on roasting the old man mainly bcs he just talks about how Rei's generation is all just random when clearly Haku WAS A LITERAL WAR CRIMINAL! So yeh Rei clearly has a reason to roast her boomer of a dad. (Even if she does follow in his footsteps unfortunately).

Rei only has met her other father (Room from Boisvert) a few times, mainly when it comes to family time & what not. But despite that, she doesn't have much a family-based bond with Room (making him estranged to her). She is however is pretty friendly when she does get to see him (Although it might take some sticks of pocky to actually get her motivated to do so). (Although this however won't be Canon in the AU, only outside of the AU as Room is not from the DNU)

The Phenirells, while are related by bl00d, are not all related by souls, as almost all of them (Except Rei) were either adopted by Phen 228 (Haku) or were taken in as apprentices only to become family members of the Phenirells. The true origins of the Phenirell Family comes from the fact their souls would be fused into angel-like vessels after death. The major exceptions are that of Kasinoshi (Haku's supposed younger twin sister) & Locust (who is not the same species as any of the Phenirells).

The Phenirells follow a certain naming convention givin to them by the Ephrata branch. Usually having the Aliase of "The [Noun] One". Although the major exceptions are "Helper", "Follower", "Lady of Wrath", Locust/Thumper, & Rei herself. (Although some of the Phenirells will have 2 names, example here is Priest who is also called "The Frozen One".)

And yeh those are all of the trash facts for my Modern AU of TBOP/TOE (Or just call it the frkkin Doctor Nowhere Universe). The only known characters mentioned here that don't belong to me are the main 3 Doctor Nowhere Characters (Phen 228/"Haku", Locust, & Follower) & welp.. Room from Boisvert. The rest mentioned here do belong to me.

[phlixfer]

what's this little silly dumb flower doing in houdini ?!

[panicatthefandomboy]

Just make sure to not put your barber above your bakery.

Rumour has it that leads to nasty business. I swear first only stay cats started to dissapear arround town. But the moment the barbershop opened on top, i've heard rumours man. Story is going that more people enter that place than leave it, yet we snuck in there, friends of mine did anyways. Inside is just a normal barbershop. Nothing special!

a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town

academy

adventurer's guild

alchemist

apiary

apothecary

aquarium

armory

art gallery

bakery

bank

barber

barracks

bathhouse

blacksmith

boathouse

book store

bookbinder

botanical garden

brothel

butcher

carpenter

cartographer

casino

castle

cobbler

coffee shop

council chamber

court house

crypt for the noble family

dentist

distillery

docks

dovecot

dyer

embassy

farmer's market

fighting pit

fishmonger

fortune teller

gallows

gatehouse

general store

graveyard

greenhouses

guard post

guildhall

gymnasium

haberdashery

haunted house

hedge maze

herbalist

hospice

hospital

house for sale

inn

jail

jeweller

kindergarten

leatherworker

library

locksmith

mail courier

manor house

market

mayor's house

monastery

morgue

museum

music shop

observatory

orchard

orphanage

outhouse

paper maker

pawnshop

pet shop

potion shop

potter

printmaker

quest board

residence

restricted zone

sawmill

school

scribe

sewer entrance

sheriff's office

shrine

silversmith

spa

speakeasy

spice merchant

sports stadium

stables

street market

tailor

tannery

tavern

tax collector

tea house

temple

textile shop

theatre

thieves guild

thrift store

tinker's workshop

town crier post

town square

townhall

toy store

trinket shop

warehouse

watchtower

water mill

weaver

well

windmill

wishing well

wizard tower

[mintixtheweirdo]

Idk I have nothing to post

[beepotatoes]

I've been in a pit of lack of motivation for a while. I'm not sure why? But I am, But I've manage to do a lot of smal things like random music experiments, drawing, playing with modding things (games particularly) and recently I decided to setup some custom firmware on a emuNAND on my switch. And I've just been going back and forward on If i want to create a theme, but instead, I've been mostly just been playing super tux cart and a toki pona super mario world rom hack

[siryadoesnotexist]

God, it is so like me to get sucked into an ad because of the high-quality filming, instead of the product itself. Like, I couldn’t give a crap about that Hotel chain, but damn did they do a good job on the video editing!

[mwagneto]

please please please please god please lower the budget please i need everything to look like absolute shit again

[damntheyare]

Oough i just found your blog and,,,, thank you,,,, you fullfill my need for soft charlastor,,,,

If you still take requests consider: Alastor covered in lipstick marks and looking slightly ruffled, Charlie standing smugly by his side because she knows what she did akdkkaks

breaking news from hell: a sheep attacked a deer. no harm done

[ashestoshadows]

put what shows up when you type *sigh* in the tags

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 374

Requested by @/sunsetcannon !

tried to make it a little more interesting by altering their outfits a bit to look more like the other’s

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Random Garbage I drew #01

Today's Main focus is that of the designing of Mr. Cuddles, a Peadrake variant from the Shivering isles. It's owned by the Daedric Prince of Madness (& Etc)

Here are the 4 sketches I made of em. (Funfact: Cuddles is actually sexless despite being called MR Cuddles. Also, Cuddle's a soul-eeter & may/may not have eetin a few travelers before-)

Also, here today's bonus:

(TW: Scarring)

Now this gal here was actually a part of a prompt I made 4 my frend a while ago. (Seen Here)

You can see here, she's a wandering trader, primarily trading some trinkets she made to anyone who wants to buy them, in return, she gets a trinket they made & some money. Now she doesn't just sell her stuff to the people of her homeworld, she also sells them to mortals. Now.. She does have a few scars here & there, but she doesn't mind them all too much, despite being weak for an elemental, she's very fast & can easily win a fight (as Nils are pretty strong even if they have no magic abilities like their Elemental & Spectral Cousins do.) Although sadly, due to her being part-Nil, she is forced to deal with the prejudice of Nils from some of residents of the Apnaow Colony.

These designs are for my frend @stridesthroughashes .

These Designs (Including the species) were both made by me.

Art is Mine.

Program: Scratch.

Bubs' TOS: Plz don't repost/steal, trace, or recolor my art WITHOUT MY PERMISSION! If you do, I'll take yur femur and pelvis.. SO, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! (The PNS on my Blog's pinned project clearly means "Please No Steal" plz follow that rule.) If you do post my art on anything like yur blog or somewhere else (With my permission) PEASE CREDIT ME!

[hotwaterandmilk]

I've been scanning the Yami no Purple Eye art book and it got me thinking about why I still feel so strongly about Shinohara Chie's horror-tinged works in particular. They don't have the sweeping settings, period detail or political intrigue of her historical titles, but they're still the works of hers I revisit most often.

I love the way Shinohara captures the physical and psychological horror of being a teenage girl. How truly overwhelming it can be to come into a new physical state and be hit by heightened strengths and fears. All while grappling with how to reconcile this new, hungry state with the "good girl" you were before the change. It's the way she combines this age-old puberty parable with an escalated 80s bent on 40s Hollywood female monstrosity that never fails to linger in my mind.

Let me unpack my rambling thoughts on this a bit and yeah they are pretty rambly I'm sorry I've got that neurological thing going on and it makes being articulate harder than it has ever been before. Forgive me!

Spoilers, bloody images and rambling re: Yami no Purple Eye, Ao no Fuuin, Umi no Yami Tsuki no Kage and Mizu ni Sumu Hana below.

The heroines of Shinohara's longer horror works are all seemingly average girls who are awakened to something horrific within them as teenagers (be it Rinko as panther, Ruka to psychic abilities, or Souko as an oni). Suddenly they're overcome not just by abilities but feelings, appetites, desires. They go from being good, average girls to young women battling forces within them stronger than anything known to science. There's always a boy there to support them through this, but they feel otherwise isolated or dangerous, unable to seek support from anyone else.

Yami no Purple Eye is frequently compared to the 1942 film Cat People and understandably so - in both you have a beautiful young woman descendended from "cat people" whose beastial side can take over when base urges overcome their normally sweet demeanor (though this film is absolutely not the first example of a 'cat person' in speculative fiction). The major difference, I would posit (aside from the more explicitly sexual nature of Cat People's change), is that Irena is an adult and while she also struggles with her identity and powers this battle is not new to her, she is hopeful for a way out but also somewhat resigned to the way things are.

Rinko from Yami no Purple Eye is new to being a panther, she is fearful of her secret getting out but also fearful of herself, of her purple eyes and her "unnatural" urges. While so much of Cat People is a relatively subtle look at female sexuality as a monstrosity in itself, Yami no Purple Eye shows a transformation that at puberty can be harnessed as a form of protection but also remains linked to the animal kingdom and not "enlightened" modern human society.

While Rinko's incredible strength saves her from all sorts of precarious situations, it feels new and out of her control. It isolates her from normal humans and it paints a target on her her back for Kaoruko, the primary antagonist of the series. I think what makes these pubescent power awakenings so alarming for all Shinohara's horror heroines is this lack of control. They didn't willingly trigger their transformation, they don't understand it properly, and they cannot control it. Ultimately each of them goes through a period of feeling incredible isolation from human society, which is common in a lot of speculative texts where the lead finds themselves estranged from society at large.

In Umi no Yami, Tsuki no Kage Ruka has the double-whammy of losing her normal life and her twin sister, Rumi, who has become deranged while coming into her own psychic powers. Although Ruka has the support of love-interest Katsuyuki, it is this love rivalry which put a wedge between her and her sister in the first place. At times, Ruka feels lost with all the destruction triggered by the sisters' transformation, held by Katsuyuki but with a 1000 yard stare in her eyes. Both Ruka and Rumi know deep down that only they can defeat one another, but how do you defeat your identical twin? How do you fight what is essentially your shadow self and your base instincts run riot?

It requires an understanding of the transformation, an acceptance of the change that has taken place, and a peace with what must come next - all of which takes Ruka the better part of 18 volumes to achieve. Mizu ni Sumu Hana takes a shorter route on a similar theme with the two Rikkas and the seeds, giving us another set of two near identical yet drastically different girls fighting for survival.

And being a teenage girl in these stories is very much focused on trying to survive. Another consistency across all these series that underscores the isolation of the heroines is the loss of those around them. Family members and friends are murdered or manipulated indiscriminately. Even if Shinohara's heroines try to seek support from someone other than their love interest, it is very quickly put to a stop by an opposing force. For a young woman in these worlds, struggling to understand her new body and changed mind, there is no option for support outside a male romantic interest.

That in itself is horrifying (though admittedly not as well-examined within text as I'd like, it certainly does feel like a comment) but it becomes a hell of a lot worse if your love interest's goals are at odds with your own. We see this with Souko in Ao no Fuuin who is revealed to be an oni that must survive by consuming humans. Her (false) memories are human and she has only recently learned of her oni nature so understandably she doesn't want to be a predator, yet she must eat people to survive. Akira, her love interest, rather than being a dutiful normal boy like Shin'ya in Yami no Purple Eye, is from an opposing family tasked with destroying her.

Eventually Akira's affection for Souko outweighs his duty to eliminate her and the two work together to try and figure out a way for her to become human and thus no longer require defeating. But initially in Ao no Fuuin, Souko is entirely alone with her growing hunger and power, unable to confide in anyone and unsupported by a romantic interest which proves just as isolating as it sounds. Like Rinko, Souko has gaps in her memory, a sensation that she's done something unnatural but a desperate need to be wrong about it, to be proven human despite all evidence to the contrary. As both heroines have entered their teenage years they have lost all they knew of stability, family and normalcy to have it be replaced by the uncanny, unnatural and unacceptable.

To have the body and mind become unreliable in your teenage years, to feel overwhelmed by forces you didn't know were within you, to feel like you're the only one experiencing such horrors... I mean it's all a big puberty metaphor isn't it? And yeah, to a degree these stories are simply turning the horror dial up to eleven on a cross-cultural feeling of coming into the power and bodily changes of adulthood before your mind can catch up with them (though in the case of Shinohara's stories every lead is shown to be attracted to the opposite sex and not explored as being anything other than cis, so there's definitely a lot left unexplored regarding pubscent queerness in her worlds).

All of Shinohara's long-form horror heroines seem to go through a period of grasping back for the safety and "normalness" of their childhood selves, of who they were before their body and mind betrayed them. Souko repeats to herself countless times that she is human not necessarily because she knows it to be true, but because she wants it to be true. She longs for who she believes she once was and we see similar grief for Rinko and Ruka, now awakened to their new lives as teenage monsters, as they reflect back on the comforting dullness of the recent past with a newfound appreciation and longing.

Ultimately, however, Souko was never a normal teenage girl. Rinko's power was dormant but she was always of panther blood. Rikka was always going to be used as a pawn between black and white dragons. Only Ruka, whose power was awakened after surviving a near-fatal bacterial infection, ever had an entirely normal human childhood and even then she must accept that what she and her sister had in their innocence can never be rediscovered. For some of these heroines there was never a "normal" to go back to and even for those that did have a glimpse at average life, it is ultimately gone from their grasp regardless. Time marches ever onward and for these young women there is no ability to wind back the clock, they must continue forward like all of us, even if their awakening to adulthood is more violent and bloody than most.

While everything I've touched on so far seems absolutely godawful, I think it's important to tie this all together with a bow of hope. Shinohara Chie's long-form horror and suspense stories put all their leads through the wringer, but they are never without hope. There is some degree of happiness out there for all her heroines, victims of circumstance and blood. However, it is not the happiness they had anticipated for themselves as adults and I think that is key to the whole exercise. Shinohara's heroines can at times be passive, clinging desperately to the idea that they can reverse what cannot be reversed. But in the end they must accept and embrace their new bodily powers. Just as we all must accept adulthood even when it doesn't adhere to our childhood hopes and dreams.

Rinko goes through absolute hell to try to get her happy ending and ultimately she doesn't get it, but her daughter Mai does manage to carve out a sense of happiness just by being with the man she loves. Souko can shed her obligation to the Kimon and be with Akira because her previous incarnation's daughter willingly takes on the role of heir for her. Ruka can live on but to do so must kill a willing Rumi and accept that what happened to them will ultimately be forgotten by the greater consciousness. Both Rikkas are revived and can choose their ultimate lifespan as the lost lotus flowers blossom once more.

None of these are your traditional happy ending, but what links them together is a sense of sacrifice. Part of the journey into adulthood, into surviving the horror of having a body as a teenage girl, is accepting the flawed state of adulthood. It comes at considerable sacrifice and it isn't necessarily what you dreamed it would be, but it is yours and you got where you are as an adult through the blood, sweat and tears of your younger self. There's a beauty to that and to Shinohara's flawed heroines and their often patchy narratives. Having a body can be horrific, it can be overwhelming, and it is inherently isolating... but it is essential to experiencing the beauty we do have in this world.

And idk I just think that's neat.

Shinohara isn't an artist to everyone's tastes and I do think there are strengths to her historical tales that perhaps aren't as present in her more horrific works, but her super powered horror stories manage to capture a type of pubescent alarm that a lot of other authors cannot master. While all these works do feel dated to a degree and present a limited scope of gender and sexuality, there's something I find timeless about revisiting the horror and joy of being a girl both cursed and blessed with the burden of a body.

-

Edit 14/10/24: I would like to point out that my use of the term "horror" here relates to consistent thematic elements presented in these series rather than their specific genre labels, roots in other sub-genres or relation to other foundational texts outside of Shinohara's oeuvre.

Shinohara's speculative work is frequently labeled battle/suspense manga (with some shorter works earning a 'suspense horror' description at their most intense) and I am in no way disagreeing with these labels or trying to relabel the above titles as strictly horror. Nor does this post seek to break down the full context of these titles as they fit into the development of 80s/90s/00s shoujo.

This post exclusively reflects my personal thoughts on the bodily perils faced by Shinohara's super-powered heroines in the aforementioned texts through a horror lens (which in turn reflects my area of focus back when I studied film).

Everyone will have their own intrepretations of these texts and these characters and that's what makes hearing people's opinions so interesting - always open to hearing yours if you stumble onto this. ^^