#random Jily dump

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Taking a leaf out of @bcdaily's book, enjoy this random excerpt from a fic I started years ago and will definitely never finish.

When Sirius lead the way back inside the house, which the collective household had spent the better part of a day decorating—a testament to how much they loved Remus, or how much James enjoyed drawing Adipose faces on square balloons—James followed, and split off near the living room, where he found most of the guests, and his mum, who beckoned frantically for him to come over.

"There's a girl waiting for you by the front door," she told him, pointing towards the door that opened into the hallway. "I think she's here to deliver something."

"Probably Beatrice with the cake."

"No, she said her name—wait, no, come here!" cried his mum, as he turned and made to walk away, her hand closing tight around his forearm. For reasons that were utterly beyond him, she began to brush invisible crumbs from his suit jacket—he'd gone full Tennant for the sake of the party, red Converse and all—with such force that he felt as if he was one wrong move away from a violent pummelling.

"What are you—" he began, then cried out in pain as she caught him hard in the chest. "That was a rib, woman!"

"Stop whinging, I'm just trying to help you."

"Help me with what?"

"You'll want to look presentable before you go out there."

"Why?"

"Just trust me, you silly boy," she said, and made as if to grab his tie, but James darted out of the way. "I'm just trying to fix it!"

"Ten always wore his tie tucked in!"

"It's leaning to the left!"

"Yeah, well, so am I."

"A tie should look smart, not—" his mother began, to which James turned and fled at a flat-out run, bursting into the hall with unnecessary speed and startling a girl who, until that point, appeared to have been examining a painting of the Santorini coastline that his parents had mounted on the wall.

Correction. A very beautiful girl examining a painting of the Santorini coastline.

She'd jumped when he came running into the hall, but seemed to recover fast, and bestowed upon him an extraordinarily pretty smile.

"That was some entrance," she said, sounding amused. "Are you training for a marathon?"

He was still wrong. The word 'very' was sufficient for most things, but it fell short in this instance, because this girl, this lovely, pink-cheeked, ivory-skinned miracle, with waves of dark red hair and incomparably stunning eyes, was clearly the most beautiful girl James had ever laid eyes on in his life.

The most beautiful girl in the world was standing in his parents' hallway, for some reason, while he, like an idiot, was fully dressed as the bleeding Doctor and couldn't pretend that he wasn't, because she'd very likely heard him yelling to his mother about the favoured position of Ten's tie, and he had a sonic screwdriver tucked behind his ear.

"Um," he said. Um. That was it. A sound. He'd made a sound. Well done.

Maybe he'd get really lucky, and she'd know nothing about Doctor Who, and he could pretend that the screwdriver was a really fancy pen. Woman liked fancy pens. A fancy pen meant a fancy man.

"Are you dressed as the Doctor?" she said, eyeing his costume curiously.

The fancy pen idea shat a brick and ran for the hills.

"Er, no," he lied, his brain twitching frantically. He wished there was a way to rid himself of the screwdriver in an inconspicuous manner. "This is just how I dress."

"Are you sure?"

"Totally sure."

"Oh," she said, and the tiniest crease appeared between her eyebrows. "It's just, there's a two-foot tall Dalek cake sitting outside in my van right now, and that's telling me a different story."

Were James as pale as her—and it was particularly fortunate at this moment that he wasn't—his face would have been redder than his trainers.

"You're from Lily and Bee," he said, burning with shame. "I mean, from the bakery."

The girl nodded, pointing to her own chest. "I'm Lily, if you hadn't guessed, since you've already met Beatrice—if you're James Potter, that is, which I hope you are. He's the one I'm looking for."

She was looking for him she was looking for him she was looking for him she was—of course she was looking for him, she was delivering the cake he'd bloody commissioned. "I'm him. I'm James."

"Not the Doctor?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted, and glanced down at his outfit. "But only on very special occasions."

She smiled politely, an image he wished he could record and play back when he remembered this conversation, so he could let his mind linger on the one thing he'd done right in all this ugly embarrassment. "I'm sorry if there's been any confusion—it's actually me who made the cake. I was on holiday for the week when you consulted with Beatrice and now she's on holiday and it's a whole thing, but it's all finished and ready, so no harm done."

"Ah, okay." He could do better than this. "Nice romantic week away, was it?"

Not like that.

"I was in the Lake District with my parents," she replied, regarding him with some curiosity. "So no, not particularly. Can't really sneak boys back to a Windermere-adjacent cottage with really thin walls, though I got to hear them going at it, which was horrifying." She pulled a face. "Anyway, I assume you're going to need this cake, yeah?"

[eastwindmlk]

Okay, let's pull this back up and I'll organize it a little. Dramione:

Astral Alignments TF

Astral Alignments pt2

Cat's Cradle

Flying Lessons 2800 words

Blessed in Darkness

KitKats 1600 words

Curse breaker 2800 words

Jily

Christmas Calendar 3

Speed Dating Chaos

Echoes of Tuning Hearts

Hearts in Tune

Harmony interrupted

Echo Oneshot

Idea dump 1

Random

Wolfstar

Home is where the heart is

Idea dump 2

The WIP game

OMG I got tagged in something! Thank you for the lovely @charmsandtealeaves

Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

So, I may or may not have a few extra WIPs that I have not mentioned, and a couple of graveyard titles will be thrown in for good fun!

Astral Alignments TF

Astral Alignments pt2

Random

Cat's Cradle

Christmas Calendar 3

Speed Dating Chaos

Flying Lessons 2800 words

Blessed in Darkness

Teacher Fest

KitKats 1600 words

Echoes of Tuning Hearts

Hearts in Tune

Harmony interrupted

Echo Oneshot

Jasmine Dragon Crossover

Home is where the heart is

Amnesia

Curse breaker 2800 words

Christmas switch

Idea dump 1

Idea dump 2

Most of my mutuals have already been tagged (If you get a double dip, I am sorry!) and there are a lot of WIPs. So, I am going to tag a handful and they can carry on the torch or not. - @pia-bartolini @annabtg @practicecourts @blitheringmcgonagall @so-scarlett-maroon

[morwap]

𝑌𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑎𝑙.

regulus black x fem!reader

light hurt/comfort, angst, with cute moments

part 1, part 2, part 3 (in progress)

nav • r.a.b m.list • there might be a pt4 it’s depending on the next part hehe haha

artist!regulus, swearing, platonic!regulus x pandora, jily, a tad bit of reg being obsessive and possessive, james potter x reader, platonic!regulus x evan roiser, drinking, a little bit of jealous!james, bsf!sirius, wolfstar, dorlene, random oc

───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────

you were doing a dare, one from sirius where you had to sneak into a class room and plant a glitter bomb on a random chair. definitely not his best idea but he was very tired when he came up with it and a bit drunk, but at the same time it was a decent prank for the beginning of the year. a welcome back prank as the marauders called it.

-

you remembered sirius sneaking into your dorm while you were trying to go to sleep. jumping on your bed and scaring you awake, “what the fuck are you doing pads” you mumbling as you scooted up to your headboard, rubbing your eyes and breathing heavily. an evil grin plastered on sirius’ face as he reached under his shirt.

“truth or dare?” he asked. you groaned, and shook your head “no, no i’m not playing games! i’m tired” you muttered. you weren’t tired, just trying to sleep off seeing lily and james being cuddly on the couch in the common room. you tried to not to be mad at lily, it wasn’t her fault.

and you tried not to be mad at james because it wasn’t his fault either but at the same time who the fuck helps you sneak out of your window at three am to look at the full moon together and then calls you beautiful and almost kisses you and expect you not to fall for them…asshole…fucking asshole.

it was always lily. never you, it was never you and would never be you and now you just needed to get over that.

“cmon truth or dare?” sirius asked again, brought out of your thoughts by sirius’ voice. you inhaled deeply, “truth” you sighed and crossed your arms. “is it true you’ve never done a welcome back prank?” he asked, bringing out the bottle of fire whiskey he had under his shirt.

“yeah it’s true” you huffed, as long as you had been part of the group you hadn’t done one and you normally would avoid peter if he came to you about doing one since it was tradition that said person doing the “welcome back prank” had to do it alone and peter kept the list of who’s done one or not.

“truth or dare?” you asked, sirius brushed his hair out of his face “truth” he replied. “why did you come in here?” you asked and raised a brow.

“to see if you wanted a drink” sirius lied, shaking the bottle. would drinking make you forget about james and lily? yes, yes it would. not the best way to cope but certainly one way.

“yeah i want one” you laughed, sirius got up, looking around the room and you furrowed your brows. sirius picked up the mug you were drinking water with earlier. sirius dumped the water into the trash can and walked back to your bed. “what the— sirius you could’ve accio’d a glass” you questioned him, throwing your hands up dramatically.

“don’t got my wand” he said, shrugging and pouring some of the fire whiskey into the mug. “sirius i have my wand….i couldve done it” you scoffed.

“what’s done is done! just drink” he huffed and sat down handing the mug to you. you took the shot he poured, “how many did you have before coming in here?” you asked, watching him ponder dramatically. “i think four? moony and i were drinking before i came in here” he answered and poured you another shot.

you laughed and shook your head then took the next shot. “truth or dare?” sirius asked and smiled, showing off his white teeth. “dare” you mumbled. “i dare you to do the welcome back prank”

-

now you’re sneaking past any prefects or head boys and girls that could be doing their last patrol. stumbling a bit as you went. trying to find the perfect room to put the prank in, sirius had explained what to do, that the glitter bomb was charmed to spell out “we’re back” as soon as someone sat down on the chair you chose for the prank. and there was no doubt everyone would know who it was from. professors were probably paranoid that the prank hasn’t happened it, it was tradition for the marauders after all.

stumbling down the empty hall in your pajama shorts and old t-shirt, wand in your hand and the glitter bomb and string in your other hand.

you turned the corner, your head looking back and forth to make sure it was clear. you couldn’t help but sigh and laugh lightly to yourself— of course sirius would make you do the stupid prank.

walking past a couple rooms, you furrowed your brows as you heard soft humming. you were about to shrug it off as you just being a little drunk but it stopped then started again but it was different this time— a different song was being hummed. turning and walking towards the humming, following the sound.

you gently pushed open the door to professor mcgonagalls class room, you were certain it was coming from here. you shivered, maybe this was why sirius wanted you to do the prank— to scare you in the process.

your heart was racing, expecting to be jump scared by sirius as the door slowly opened. but to your surprise you saw regulus sat on a stool in front of his easel, mixing paint on his palette, humming to himself. not sirius. definitely not sirius.

you blinked and stood still, shocked he hadn’t heard you open the door, shocked he hadn’t even noticed you yet— seeming as if he was in his own world. inching closer to regulus, debating on whether to announce yourself or observe in silence.

regulus moved quickly between the paints on the palette, mixing then adding more of a certain color. you studied him; moving your gaze from his fingers that were covered in dry paint to a stand that was beside him that held a box of paints then to a table you had to walk by with a sketchbook with another box beside it then to regulus. taking in his appearance, a black shirt with plaid gray,black and white pajama pants covered in paint.

covered in paint— it almost made you laugh, you could remember sirius describing his brother as being uptight and clean, someone that would made a huge ordeal about getting messy, which did make you think about why he played quidditch since people got messy when playing but when you thought about it, every time you had seen regulus his quidditch uniform was in pristine condition. no grass stains or marks like james’ or sirius’ so you just kind of believed sirius and maybe it naive of you to believe since you didn’t know regulus personally—only taking in what sirius has said and you knew sirius tended to be a bit over the top when talking about other people.

but here regulus was, covering in a mess and not caring about it either. instantly making you curious or maybe it was the alcohol, you were now taking everything sirius had said about regulus and throwing out the window. perhaps it was hypocritical of you to listen to sirius, judging regulus based on the details from his brother even though your friend group “didn’t judge” which they did, they pick and choose who though.

you moved your gaze from his clothes to face, you always thought sirius and him looked similar, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. yes they had similar features, definitely brothers but now as you looked at him, you could see how different they looked.

regulus’ hair was wavier and shorter obviously, he had a light dusting of freckles and his lips were a bit fuller. those were just some of the features you could point out in the dim light. you were still shocked he hadn’t realized you were there.

your foot knocked over a jar that held brushed that were on the floor, paint water spilling on the floor and you could hear regulus gasp in surprise. you instantly put the things you were holding on the stand beside him and reached down picking up the brushes and jar getting murky grayish purply brown water on your hands. “i’m sorry, m’so sorry” you sighed, hearing regulus set his palette down.

“it’s fine, it’s just spilled water” he reassured, grabbing his wand and casting a quick cleaning spell and taking the jar from you and sitting it on the table. pulling a rag from his pockets about to just hand it to you and hope you would go on your way out the door since his stomach now hurt from the butterflies the he got when he realized it was you, making him feel nauseous and wonder how long you had been there. scolding himself over always meeting you in random awkward moments and not in calculated moments where he could plan what he was going to say.

but regulus watched as you stumbled a bit as you got up and he could smell alcohol and your perfume, how regulus would’ve loved to bask in the smell of your perfume the alcohol smell made him upset—not because you were drinking, just because you were alone, being alone and vulnerable without anyone around made him unsettled. hell regulus wouldn’t even care if james was around you and taking care of you, guarding you like a dog, the only exception and regulus hated to admit it but in this circumstance he’d be pleased with james being at your side. knowing you’d be just fine.

regulus could tell you were drunk and knew you’d probably deny it if he brought it up. taking a deep breath and reaching his hands out to grab yours, cleaning your hands with the dirty rag for you. you laughed, regulus was glad you found amusement in this but hated how he nervously trembled from just touching you. regulus was nervous, overthinking that he’d do something to make you not like him.

“i’m sorry for uh… invading your space” you mumbled, your words slightly slurring together. “i didn’t know you painted” you added and looked up at regulus, causing regulus to instantly look down and continue drying off the water from your perfect hands. “well you know now” regulus said, trying to make it would like a joke and forcing out a soft laugh which made you actually laugh.

regulus felt your hands were dry enough and let them go then longing for them to be back in his. “thank you” you said and turned to his painting.

your eyes widened, “regulus this is beautiful” you praised as you got closer to his artwork. regulus honestly couldn’t help the blush that had gone over his face. “pandora? right?” you asked pointing at the woman in the painting. “yes, pandora” regulus answered. your gaze went from the painting to the photograph that was on the easel then picked it up.

the photograph evan had took last spring of pandora and Xenophilius laying in a bunch of flowers. regulus had gotten inspiration from drawing your hands to paint the photograph on a big canvas since pandora had a hard time of keeping small things like photos.

you looked back at regulus then to painting then to photo and back regulus. “it’s amazing- i mean- wow-its absolutely beautiful” you said, “if you ever need a model, i’d love to be one” you added playfully, making regulus laugh as if you haven’t been his model and muse for years.

“i’m sorry i interrupted” you said putting down the photo and stumbling back to grab your wand and the prank. “it’s fine i promise. it was getting late anyways” regulus replied and sat on the stool. you headed towards the door then whipped around, since you decided to throw everything sirius said out the window why not ask regulus if he’d like to join you, maybe he’d be interested in pranks.

“well…if you’re willing to take a break, maybe you’d like to join me on my mission…?” you asked, smiling and hoping you didn’t look like an idiot. “your mission?” regulus asked, raising a brow and cocking his head in a confused manor. you nodded and your grinned widened, “the welcome back prank, sirius asked me to do it” you laughed and hoped he knew what you were talking about.

before regulus could given an answer you had walked over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the door “come on” you giggled as you grabbed him.

pulling regulus out of the class room and quietly closing the door, “who is your least favorite person in the world?” you asked him and let go of his hand.

potter, undoubtedly it was potter but he knew he couldn’t say it out loud. now trying to think of someone as fast as he could, then ultimately landing on some ravenclaw boy who had a crush on you. “ryan morris, he’s in my first lesson of the day” regulus answered, his nails scratching at his nail beds.

“perfect! that’s perfect! what’s you first lesson?” you asked. “history of magic” regulus said, his sight moving around but always landing back onto you.

you gripped his sleeve and pulled regulus towards the stairs, softly laughing as you dragged him. the butterflies never left regulus.

the two of you stood in front of professor binns class room.

you hurried regulus into the room and shut the door quickly, “which seats his?” you asked as you dug in your pockets for the glitter bomb and string. “that one” regulus said pointing at a seat in the corner. you hummed and walked over to it, rigging up the glitter and the string so that when the seat was moved it would make the string tug on the thing full glitter and explode.

regulus watched you, leaning against a desk to not seem awkward. this is was a big factor in why he liked you, you were fun and knew how to have fun even with people you didn’t really know. he admired that you could be the life of the party and everything didn’t have to be so serious, made him want to have fun and not sit in misery.

“done, i expect to hear what face he made when it goes everywhere” you teased and glanced at regulus, he nodded and laughed a soft “okay okay”

you two successfully snuck out of the room and now were almost to mcgonagalls room, “would you like me to walk you back to your common room?” regulus asked, you smiled and nodded “yeah that would be nice” you laughed softly.

it felt calming to be in regulus�� presence, not feeling the need to constantly be over the top with jokes or anything. it felt good, it felt refreshing but not only that but you didn’t think about james once since the moment you walked in on regulus painting.

now you two came upon your common room, you and regulus making small talk but it was more you talking and regulus’ heart fluttering at each word that came from you. as you got closer to the common room you could make out a figure by the fat lady.

“y/n” the figure said as you both got closer and now you could see it was james.

regulus’ mood soured, “y/n where the hell have you been? you’ve been gone for hours” james scoffed and glanced up and down at regulus before getting closer to you.

“oh! sirius dared me to do the prank” you answered, not picking up on the tension between regulus and james. “we were worried, let’s get you inside” james tutted, putting his arm around you and moving you toward the painting.

you looked back at regulus and waved, “thank you for walking me here” you said and regulus nodded and smiled a bit at you. james huffed, narrowing his eyes at regulus and shook his head before saying the password and walking you into the common room.

regulus’ amazing night was ruined by james, another thing to add to his “why i fucking hate james potter” list as evan liked to call it.

-

you sat next to james in the library, trying not to be annoyed by him but you had been scolded for 20 minutes after he got you into the common room then minutes ago got reminded that hanging out with you was basically his third choice since lily was busy with professor slughorn talking about different potions for their slugclub project for extra credit and remus, sirius and peter were busy doing merlin knows what.

since lily and james were basically dating, his and your relationship was barely there, realizing that your relationship had been based on james treating you how he would lily if lily would let him with some friendship involved but now since he had lily there was no use for you to him. but of course you still had a soft spot for him and subconsciously ate up the attention he was giving you now and you had to come to your senses and now was annoyed but you still left the tiny butterflies.

regulus couldn’t help but keep glancing at you as he tried to read, trying to do it randomly since james was there and now when he looked up sometimes james would catch him.

it was like james was teasing him, locking eyes with him then touching your hand or something that had to do with him touching your skin and it made regulus furious, mainly because it was just toying with your feelings and honestly regulus was jealous that it wasn’t him touching you.

“so…you and regulus?” james asked, his fingers playing with your hand as he made eye contact with regulus then smirking at him and looking at you. “what do you mean?” you asked and flipped the page in your book. “him walking you to the common room…” he started and you moved your hand from him. “ive already told you it wasn’t like that, i was enjoying his company until you rushed me away” you scoffed.

you could remember james saying something like “you shouldn’t be hanging out with him” when he got you into the common room. if this would’ve happened months prior you would’ve probably been over the moon that james seemed jealous and would’ve given you more false hope but now it was honestly icky. you understood the tension with it being sirius’ brother but even sirius didn’t push it this far.

“whatever” was all james said before he left, you were about to get up and ask him to come back and apologize and it seemed as if james was waiting for it to happen, he looked back at you like he expected you to follow but you fought the urge and just looked back down and when you looked back up he was gone.

-

your saturday had gone to shit after james left you in the library, then seeing him and lily kiss in the hallway ruining your day even more and now you sat in your bed, lonely.

sirius and remus were going on a date in the woods that peter helped set up earlier and now peter and mary were hanging out in the common room going through records they brought from home. dorcas and marlene went to the hufflepuff common room to play chess with a few friends they had in that house and you sure as hell were not going to hang out with lily and james.

you grabbed your wand and slipped your feet into fuzzy slippers, you were already in your pajamas and was planning on just going to bed until an idea popped into your head.

[inconspicuoussophia]

MASTERLIST FOR ALL HOUSES

Still editing

Love comments, shares, requests and support so anything would be appreciated

All credit goes to the original writers and artists, I am not here to steal only to share others amazing work

I am above 18 however I prefer to not exactly state my age

Thank you guys so much for following!!

Admittedly the important things are here- please feel free to just scroll to find random dumps of Harry Potter/Hogwarts/Marauder/everything nonsense

Notes- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664348362071539712/notes

Key-

User discretion (18+) - ❤️‍🔥

Everything is fluff unless specified but my faves will have 🥺

Minnie McGonagall included (cause we love her)- 🐱

Angst- 🥔

ABOUT ME

Rules- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664345790015307776/rules-for-readers

DRACO

Long fics-

Draco x reader, reader is a shade (ghost) 🥺- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/662436526719991808/beautiful-ghosts

HARRY

Harry x Ginny Headcannons

Harry’s scars 🥔 - https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/661532378721910784

Daniel Radcliffe mourning- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/668780224344965121

LUNA

Luna planning Harry+Ginny’s wedding🥺- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/663928727284154369/im-90-sure-ive-posted-this-already-on-my-page

Luna torturing Snape- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/668780084289798144

WEASLY FAMILY

Molly being amazing to Harry - https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/663708204010815488

The Twins

Fred and McGonagall 🐱- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664063598988017664

MARAUDERS

GROUP

Becoming Animagi 🐱 https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664341113805619200

WOLFSTAR (Sirius x Remus)

Short fics with links 🐺

Headcannons ⭐️

Sirius loving remus’ plant 🥺- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664341730695512064

Sirius being a mess around remus- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/661532439164911616

Harry if he was brought up by Sirius- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/663928466703597568

JILY (James x Lilly)

Headcannons and blurbs ❤️

Lily finally seems to be warming to James- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664342196330315776

Sirius making jily happen- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664342139564638208

How James got Sirius’s blessing to propose- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664341921694646272

Alive James with Harry 🥺- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664341568641171456/jilly-alive

Remus

Sad and sweet times with James and Lily- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664342016277282816

Lily being the best- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/661532306524323840/unfortunately-i-forgot-to-link-this-one-guys-but

Sirius

An unexpected surprise from regulus - https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/661532172877987840

Random stuff

Mary poppins headcannon- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/664024454867845120

Crookshanks - https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/663890547284525056

FACTSSSSSSS- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/668779830743121921

Hogwarts houses quotes to use- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/668780224344965121

ART

Ginny, Charlie, George and Pansy- https://inconspicuoussophia.tumblr.com/post/660879504103931904/hi-guys-i-found-this-and-it-was-so-amazing-so-i

[koala-smiles]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, Chapter 2

A Jily Au where Lily transfers from America in the Marauder’s Seventh Year

Read Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Lily woke up with blurred vision and a pounding head. As she got ready, she thought back to the previous night, trying to remember what actually happened. 

She knew she went out to hang out with Sirius, and he brought a bottle of firewhiskey. After that, it’s just flashes. Laughter, sneaking out, a town, some stinging on her back. What had they done?

Just then she heard her roommates whispering behind her. Something about a wing? Her head was beating too loud to make it out. She turned and saw that they had been pointing at her. She shrugged it off and walked to the bathroom.

She started brushing her teeth, but then saw a movement near her neck. Confused, she lifted off her shirt and saw that there was a butterfly flying around on her torso. That explained the stinging on her back, at least. She would have to ask Sirius about it later to see if he remembered what happened and how she got a magical tattoo.

When she walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, she heard whispering around her. Why was everyone always whispering as she walked by? She didn’t think she was interesting enough to warrant it, especially after three weeks had passed. Well, she supposed it didn’t matter. They should talk to her if they wanted to know more. 

“Hi, Lily,” James greeted as she sat down next to Sirius. She smiled in return, then leaned closer to Sirius.

“What did we do last night?” she whispered, trying to make sure the others didn’t hear.

“From what I can recall, we each got a tattoo on a dare. I think we stole some brooms and went over to Hogsmeade to do it, but I’m not really sure.”

She nodded and sat up straight, putting some jam on toast. 

“What are you two whispering about?” asked Remus.

“How James could use a haircut.” Lily replied quickly.

James looked offended, and ran his hand through his hair. “You just wish you had locks as luscious as mine.”

Lily snorted and took a bite of her toast.

---

Lily found it strange how only the first years seemed comfortable around her. At Ilvermorny, at least, younger students tended to avoid the older students.

She supposed that it must have started the week before, when she heard a young student struggling to figure out what a spell did in the library. She turned the corner of the bookcase and asked if the student needed some help. The student and her friend next to her looked utterly petrified. She sat down and pointed to the written out version, and explained what the roots of the word meant. At that point, the two students became too intrigued as to what she was referring to to continue being scared. 

It was then that Lily realized that Hogwarts didn’t teach either Latin or Greek. She pulled out her translation guides and began explaining the roots of spells and where they originate from. More and more first years started gathering around. By the end of her lecture, there must have been at least twenty surrounding the small table. 

One particularly brave one asked her how they could learn Latin and Greek to figure the spells out. She smiled, stood up, and told them to follow her. 

They passed James, and she gave a small smile as a greeting. He gave her a confused look as a reply. She must have been quite the spectacle, a seventh year with dozens of first years following her through the library.

It was all worth it when she watched hoards of kids swarm the language section of the library. 

---

Lily found herself in Transfiguration, writing notes in her book as McGonagall lectured the class on the finer points of animal-to-animal transfiguration. It was a far cry from the animal-to-inanimate object  transfiguration that they taught the younger students. 

She had her Latin book open in her lap. She was trying to come up with a spell that would make her broom block the rain or snow from her without slowing it down. All her previous attempts had ended with the broom going at a fraction of the speed she was used to. 

“Miss Evans”

Her head jerked up.

“I was asking what the problem with amphibian to mammal transfiguration is. Perhaps you will be able to help, since you are so far ahead that you can afford to not pay attention.”

Lily smiled. “The main drawback is that the amphibian brain will take the first opportunity to drown the mammal. That’s why most animal-to-animal transfigurations fail when going between different main classifications of animals.”

McGonagall looked pleased with this. “Correct. Please pay more attention in the future.”  She continued with her lecture, and Lily continued flipping through her book. 

When class was over, everyone started gathering their things. Lily was rushing to try out her new version of the spell, when McGonagall called out to her. 

“Miss Evans. The headmaster has requested that you go to his office so that he might speak to you. Please do so directly after class.”

Whispers broke out across the room, and James looked over to her with a raised eyebrow, to which she shrugged. Remus chuckled beside him. She heard the girl next to her mumble something about being a player. Was she talking about James? She shook her head quickly, knowing she had bigger things to do than worry about rumors.

She made her way to the gargoyles, and realized that McGonagall had forgotten to give her the password. But, to her surprise, they jumped aside as soon as she stopped in front of them. Making her way up the stairs, she thought back to the past week, trying to figure out what she could have done wrong. 

“Ah, Miss Evans. Thank you for joining me today.” Lily sat down across from Dumbledore, and gave him a small smile. He didn’t seem particularly angry, but then again, he never did. “As you may have heard, yesterday we found a group of first years surrounding a destroyed painting. From what we understood of their explanation, they were trying to make a new spell to change the hairstyle of the resident of the painting.”

Lily cringed, thinking back to her first attempts at spells. “I’m guessing they tried to mix Greek and Latin. They should—” He put his hand up to stop her.

“I brought you here to talk to you not about what goes wrong in making spells, but to talk about the phenomenon of first years attempting to create spells in the first place. Would you happen to know where they got the idea of making new spells?”

Lily crinkled her eyebrows. “I showed them where to look to find out what spells do, but I didn’t try to put any ideas about making spells in their heads. I always found it important to find the roots of spells when learning them.”

Dumbledore nodded his head and reached out to pet his phoenix. “Yes, that is one approach to teaching students. Unfortunately, that is not the one we subscribe to here at Hogwarts. We prefer the one that does not result in smouldering paintings. So, I’m only asking you to not teach that to younger students anymore, and to gently lead them in the safer direction when they come to you with questions.”

Lily nodded, and stood to leave.

“Oh, and one more thing. If you plan to continue to make your own spells, I recommend looking for a room on the seventh floor to test them. I usually find the one across from Barnabas the Barmy quite helpful.”

Lily smiled, and nodded as a thank you. She quickly left his office to find her notebook of spells that she hadn’t been able to test yet. The last place she remembered putting it was in her wardrobe…

---

Several people looked up as she entered the common room. Sirius looked up from the guitar that he appeared to be trying to learn. 

“Evans! What did you get in trouble for, and should I be concerned?”

Lily smiled. “Just got told off for leading first years astray. Apparently I’m a bad influence and all that.” 

Sirius shook his head, and went back to strumming. 

After grabbing her notebook and replacing her robes with her leather jacket, she went back down determined to find Barnabus, and the room Dumbledore mentioned. 

Reaching the common room, she was relieved to see that James had joined Sirius. She walked up to him and grabbed his arm. 

“James! Doing anything? No? Perfect!” She started to drag him to the portrait hole before he could respond.

Once they were alone in the hall, she turned to him. 

“Would you happen to know where Barnabus the Barmy is?”

His look of confusion cleared, and he smiled mischievously. “I know exactly what you need.”

Not long after, they were staring Barnabus in the face. Lily turned around, and her face immediately fell. James noticed this, and took her by the arm, a mirror of what she did earlier. 

He began walking back and forth with her. She was starting to think that he might actually be crazy. 

“Think of what you need, and keep thinking about it.”

Confused but intrigued, she followed his instructions. Looking up, she found a door that she could have sworn wasn’t there before. Mystified, she barely registered James following her in. The high-ceiling room had dummies, mats, and even a fire extinguisher.

“I have got to ask, what is this room for?”  

Lily smiled and pulled out her wand. Opening her notebook to a random page, she began casting. 

---

Lying awake in her bed that night, she began thinking about all the things she heard. She weighed what she knew of James against what she heard of him. 

He couldn’t possibly have dated every girl in their year like she heard people saying, right? He seemed like such a nice boy. 

The James everyone talked about, suave, cool, and a heartbreaker, just didn’t line up with the one who watched her cast her spells, nice, sweet, and a bit of a dork. 

But is that just the persona he shows girls to get them to fall in love with him? Was she just another person for him to date and dump? She had no way of knowing which was the real James.

She didn’t sleep well that night.

[bunchofdrabbles]

jily coffee shop au

Lily entered the warm cafe, breathing in the smell of freshly baked pastries and coffee beans. She removed her gloves, placing them in her jacket pocket.

She joined the queue in front of the counter, waiting patiently for her turn. The cakes and muffins on display looked absolutely delicious. She could almost hear her stomach growling at just one glance at them. 

As soon as her turn came up, Remus, a friend of hers, smiled. “Back again so soon. You were here only just this morning”

“Remus, you know how cold it is outside and how much I love your Cafe Mocha” she immediately countered, pulling out her wallet. “Now, hit me up with a Cafe Mocha and- um- one of your blueberry muffins”

Remus chuckled, nodding. “No need to pay. You’re a regular and a friend. It’s on the house” he said, handing a baffled Lily her money back.

“But-”

“No buts. Now go sit, and you’ll have your order shortly”

Lily pouted but obliged, putting her wallet back in her pocket and going back to sit by her favourite table by the window. She glanced at the snow falling outside. It was absolutely gorgeous in her opinion. All the little snowflakes, none the same. A bit like humans, it occurred to her.

She tore her gaze from the window, removing her bag from her shoulder and placing it next to her, pulling out her laptop to get on with work. 

After a few minutes of concentrated work, someone set down a steaming cup of coffee and a muffin. She looked up to see a man with dark curly hair winking at her before walking off. Lily looked at her coffee cup, only to see something scribbled on with a black marker.

“Can I have a picture of you? So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”

Lily chuckled, glancing over the man who returned back behind the counter after speaking briefly with Remus. She then returned to her work, occasionally sipping her coffee.

--

The next day Lily returned to the cafe, this time with her best friend Alice, who was happily chattering on about some romance novel she had finished reading, Lily listening. 

They both ordered and then sat down by their usual table. The same messy-black haired man from yesterday came with their coffees, and Alice leapt up from her seat.

“James, I didn’t know you worked here!” she exclaimed to Lily’s surprise, hugging the man. 

James, as her friend had called him, hugged back. “Well, here I am. I just started a week ago” he said, a massive smile on his face. As the two were talking, Lily noticed something else written in black marker on her cup. 

“I’m learning about important dates in history. Want to be one of them?”

--

The next time she was there, she was alone. Only few people were at the coffee shop that day, so she took her chance to chat with Remus about random things. 

“Oh, here’s your coffee” Remus said, glancing at the cup before handing her it. He chuckled slightly, and Lily looked at it to see what was so funny.

“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back - James”

Her face reddened slightly, but she kept on talking with Remus as if she hadn’t seen it. But this time the smile on her face was slightly bigger as she glanced at the brown eyed man at the counter, handling other customers. 

--

Every time Lily stopped by the coffee shop, she was always greeted by a random pick up line on her little cup, courtesy of James.

Today she was on a date with Amos Diggory, a man who had asked her out during work. She might as well give it a shot, she thought, what could go wrong. 

Diggory was a pleasant man, he was nice, but he just didn’t seem like a man she would date, and to be honest, she was a bit bored. They stopped by the cafe, ordering their coffees. Lily was handed hers by James, and she looked for some sort of pick up line on her cup. There was none.

But before she could think anymore about it, they were already outside the shop, making polite conversation as they made way back for him to drop her off. 

--

The next time she returned to the shop, it was Christmas Eve, and her hair was filled with little snowflakes. She was alone this time, having dumped Diggory, because, in her opinion, it wasn’t going to work out.

“Where have you been? It’s been ages since we saw you here” Remus asked as he took her order.

“I’ve been busy, you know, here and there,” Lily said, laughing slightly under her breath. Her schedule had gotten busier that day, and it was only because Petunia, her older sister, stepped in to help her that she could find time to come by the cafe.

She was handed her coffee by James, who avoided her gaze and rushed back behind the counter. Weird, she thought, searching again for another cheesy pick up line on her cup, only to realize her search was in vain. A frown took over her face as she sipped her coffee.

“Hey Remus, when does James’s shift end?” she asked him.

“Why?”

“No reason, just curious”

--

Around 6 pm the same day she stood outside the cafe, waiting for certain bespectacled man to exit the door.

Lily looked up from her phone when James left the cafe, locking the shop behind him. “James?”

He jumped, looking at her. “Lily What are you doing here?” he asked her, surprised. “Not that you can’t- erm- can’t be here, I just- uh- I wasn’t expecting you here” his face flushed as she giggled slightly.

“What happened, no more pick up lines?” she asked in a joking manner, raising her blank and empty coffee cup, a smile on her face. 

“Well, uh, aren’t you dating Diggory? Or well, he’s definitely interested in you” 

“Nope, I’m not dating him. I’d rather date someone else if I’m to be honest” she pointedly looked at him. Once he realized what she meant, his face turned even redder than before, which was a bit cute in her opinion.

“Are you- are you sure? I mean- you two have a great chemistry, according to many,” he replied after a while, avoiding her gaze as he fiddled with the lock.

“I think I’d rather make that judgement myself, if you’d let me” Lily said right after, trying her best to meet his gaze. As soon as he picked up the courage to make eye-contact, she took a deep breath before pulling him to her, placing her lips on his.

At first she got no response from him, which made her nervous. But after a few seconds later, she felt him place his hand on her cheek and him kiss her back.

When they pulled away, she felt a massive grin spread across her face. James looked into her eyes, before saying:

“Looks like I didn’t have to send Santa a picture to get what I wanted for Christmas”

[ponyregrets]

Is there any way you can do a Clarke POV for "No One Can Lift the Damn Thing" please? (I was going through your fics and was listing all the ones I would want an Alt-POV for, and they all involved Bellamy as James Potter, wow I have A Type.)

I feel kinda bad calling this a Clarke POV but whatev I had fun I like social media AUs

Original fic and alt POV on AO3!!

Raven: Just got my invite to Finn and Ontari's weddingYou?

Me: NopeDo you think they flipped a coin?Or she just gave him an ultimatum?LikeYou can invite one of your awkward exesBut only oneChoose wisely

Raven: Honestly, I'm guessing he never actually told his mom why we broke upAnd given the choice between telling her he cheated on me and I dumped his assAnd just inviting me to his weddingHe invited me to his wedding

Me: Yeah, that's definitely what happenedAre you going to go?

Raven: YupGot a hot girlfriendI like his parentsAnd I want him to feel awkward about shitToo bad he didn't invite you

Me: I really don't mindI feel like I dodged a bullet

Raven: You could have brought BellamyFinn was jealous of him BEFORE he was famous for being hotImagine how much he'd hate seeing you guys together now

Me: You know, I was going to say Bellamy has better things to do than go to a wedding just to piss off FinnBut then I remembered this is Bellamy we're talking aboutSo he'd probably do it

Raven: Yeah, I doubt fame changed him that muchSucks that you're not coming, thoughWe should get together soon

Me: Maybe I'll just come hang out in townCoincidentally

Raven: I know you're joking, but you shouldI bet Monty and Miller are going

Me: I'll think about it

*

supreme-girl-wonder posted: do you ever get amazed that people you went to college with are now getting married and have lives and seem to know what they're doing?? I think I might have the most competent group of college friends ever, it's really intimidating

but congrats to my cheating ex-boyfriend on his engagement and thanks for not inviting me to the wedding

Tagged: #no seriously #thanks #I really did not want to go #it would be awkward af but if he invited me I'd feel like I had to go #or else they were winning #glad I don't have to worry about that #I can just get drunk in the comfort of my own home instead

*

Bellamy: Did you book your hotel for Finn's wedding yet?What days are you going to be there?

Me: Hahaha that's cuteYou think Finn invited me to his wedding

Bellamy: He didn't?He invited me

Me: You're rich and famous

Bellamy: So are you, princessAre we calling you that again? Did we reclaim it from Finn?

Me: I prefer Supreme Leader nowI'm rich, but I'm not featured in tumblr gif setsPeople commission me to do fanart of you

Bellamy: And you haven't sent it to me?I thought we were friends, Clarke

Me: Is James/Sirius a pairing you're into?

Bellamy: Obviously

Me: Then I'll send you some links

Bellamy: AwesomeFinn really didn't invite you to the wedding?

Me: He used to hit on me in front of the woman he's now marryingWhile they were datingShe hated meOf course they didn't invite meThey'd probably keel over and die if I showed upRelated: Did you get a plus one?

Bellamy: YeahI was planning to get them really excited thinking I was bringing some famous actress or something and then I show up with Octavia

Me: Or you could show up with me

Bellamy: Yeah, that's a way better ideaSo, what nights do you want me to book the hotel?

*

Anonymous asked: do u know if bellamy blake has a gf????

supreme-girl-wonder answered: why would you ask me, a fanart blog, this

*

Bellamy: Is it weird that I feel bad flying first class?

Me: DefinitelyBut you're famous nowI assume you can afford a therapist to talk you through these issues

Bellamy: Why would I pay someone when you took that one psych course sophomore year?

Me: Good pointBad how?

Bellamy: Guilty, mostlyIt feels like such a waste of moneyBut holy shit it's so much nicerI feel bad for everyone who isn't in first class

Me: I'm flying coach soFuck you

Bellamy: I don't feel bad for you

Me: Wow, you're curedI'm better at this therapy thing than I thought

Bellamy: Ha ha.I hope the tone came across thereAnyway, I don't feel bad for you because you're richI assume you flew first class when you were a kidAlso I have to switch to airplane modeYou're boarding soon?

Me: Pretty soon, yeah

Bellamy: CoolSee you in Ohio

Me: Can't wait

*

siriusly-jily: omgkarakaradid u see the new bellamy pics????

supreme-girl-wonder: probably notI'm out of town for the weekendand pretty drunkwhat happened?

siriusly-jily: he's at some airport in ohioidk why, there aren't any cons or anythingwhat's in ohio????

supreme-girl-wonder: maybe he has a lifein ohiofor some reason

siriusly-jily: no wayactors exist only for our benefit :Panyway, he's got a gf :(people are saying it's clarke griffinthe vp's daughter

supreme-girl-wonder: wowam I just drunk or is that a lot of conclusions to jump to

siriusly-jily: check it outhttp://remus-lupin-lady.tumblr.com/post/138742714390/omg-omg-omgthere's more of him with fans but lbrthat's A LOT of huggingand I googled, it does look like the VP's daughter

supreme-girl-wonder: if they were dating they probably wouldn't be having their reunion in an airport in ohiojust saying

siriusly-jily: truuuuuuuuuuuuuuokay I gotta go to bedhave fun with whatever thing you're doing

supreme-girl-wonder: will dokeep me posted on Bellamy pics

*

Jasper: did you really bring FAMOUS ACTOR AND KNOWN DREAM BOAT BELLAMY BLAKE to this wedding???

Me: NopeHe brought me

Jasper: ohwellthat was my second guessgrats on landing a celebritybut I guess you're a celebrity too???so it makes sense

Me: You must be this famous to ride Are you coming over for video games?

Jasper: yes obvomw

*

Anonymous asked: omg kara do you follow m&m media??? they posted pix of them w bellamy and the vp's daughter??? apparently they're engaged??? im so heartbroken rn plz help

supreme-girl-wonder answered: Don't panic, anon! M&M have said they went to college with him like ten billion times. Quick google search says VP's daughter did too. So they're probably at a reunion or something. And let's be real, if you were posing for a picture with him, you'd want to be as close as possible too.

*

Raven: SooooooYou took off early last night

Me: Not THAT earlyWe danced a bunchI think Bellamy made a lot of dreams come true

Raven: Including yours?Seriously, I can't believe you never fucked him

Me: I was going to, but his mom diedBetter late than never, right?

Raven: [confetti emoji]Seriously I'm happy for you guysOne-time thing or?

Me: NoDefinitely notWe're going to try to dateIf we can make it workAnd if nothing elseNon-stop sex for the rest of the weekend

Raven: Well, we're doing breakfast in an hourSo make sure you come up for air so we can make fun of you

Me: You make it sound so funGetting breakfastInstead of having sex with my TV star boyfriend

Raven: One hourIf you're not there I'm going to break into your hotel room and post pics on tumblr

Me: OkaySee you in an hour

Raven: [kiss emoji]

*

natsukashii-na asked: Random question but do you have a gf now?? You've been reblogging some couple-y stuff and I was just wondering haha sorry if that's weird

supreme-girl-wonder answered: Boyfriend, actually! Bisexuality: it's awesome. But yeah, we've been together for about a month and it's going really well. Long distance right now but I'm moving in with him in a couple weeks. I'm really excited.

Tagged: #I know that sounds fast but #trust me #it definitely took us long enough

*

Anonymous asked: doesn't your bf mind that you're really into bellamy blake :/

supreme-girl-wonder answered: He'll live.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

throwaway text conversation

I remember I wrote this as part of a drabble for James’s birthday and never finished it. Have it now.

James Potter: so this is james

Lily Evans: I don't know anyone called James.

James Potter: shit sorry wrong number nvm

Lily Evans: Don't tell me you fell for that joke, Potter? It's the most basic one in the book. I wasn't even TRYING! You are so much better than this. Come on.

James Potter: i didn't fall for the joke i was humouring you

Lily Evans: Oh, were you?

James Potter: yeah i saw through the joke immediately because as you said, i am better than this but then i was like evans could use a win today i'll throw her this bone

Lily Evans: I never knew that you were so charitable.

James Potter: oh i'm a paragon of philanthropy, evans a. paragon. sometimes the people are like "stop being so generous, you give too much" and i'm like "i do what i can"

Lily Evans: Wow.

James Potter: impressive i know

Lily Evans: You could fertilise whole farms with that much bullshit. And where's this address I was promised?

James Potter: you still want to come tonight?

Lily Evans: No, I'm registering you to vote as a birthday surprise.

James Potter: how do you know if i vote or not?

Lily Evans: Well, you don't, because you've been eighteen for all of five minutes.

James Potter: i could be fundamentally opposed to all forms of government like ron swanson

Lily Evans: You are not a Ron Swanson. Sirius might be, maybe, but not you.

James Potter: i could be a ron!

Lily Evans: And I COULD be having a normal conversation with literally anyone else, but here we both are on this ship together.

James Potter: brb taking a buzzfeed quiz

Lily Evans: LOL

James Potter: to prove you RONg

Lily Evans: Oh my god.

James Potter: from buzzfeed Everyone Is A Combination Of Two "Parks And Rec" Characters— Here's Yours

Lily Evans: I like that you've gone for a quiz that gives you two characters because you know you're not a Ron and are therefore hedging your bets.

James Potter: um excuse me it was the first one i found

Lily Evans: More bullshit.

James Potter: but i feel in my soul that i can trust the word of staff writer jamie jirak okay first question pick a place to hangout: the snakehole lounge, jj's diner, tom's bistro, jurassic fork, the bulge, the pit obviously jurassic fork because of my long held dream to run with the dinosaurs next question

Lily Evans: To RUN with them? What, like, for election?

James Potter: pick a word that best describes you: ambitious, funny, lazy, anxious, adventurous, literal can't believe there's no incredibly handsome option what do i do?

Lily Evans: Pick funny.

James Potter: why?

Lily Evans: Because you've made me laugh, like, fifteen times since we started texting.

James Potter: but wouldn't you think incredibly handsome is a better fit?

Lily Evans: As it isn't an option, let's make do, shall we?

James Potter: okay fine, if you insist upon admiring my wit next question, pick a pattern i'm going to pick the one that looks like rain

Lily Evans: Why?

James Potter: because one looks like a golf ball and i don't like golf another looks like worms and i don't like worms and the others are all geometric shapes, which are condescending

Lily Evans: ?????????

James Potter: pick a leslie knope quote copypasting "I need you to text me every 30 seconds saying that everything is gonna be okay." "I love you and I like you." "What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me." "Punk-ass book jockeys!" "I stand by my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things." "Men's rights is nothing."

Lily Evans: Thank you for sharing the precise details of each and every question with me. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise.

James Potter: i'm going to go for "what i hear when i'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me" because this is true. next question, pick the funniest show: key and peele, seinfeld, broad city, brooklyn nine nine, the fresh prince of bel-air, saturday night live brooklyn nine nine obviously

Lily Evans: Brooklyn Nine Nine, obviously. Haha, snap.

James Potter: haha

Lily Evans: Stellar choice. Am riveted, please continue.

James Potter: pick a holiday: christmas, galentine's day, rosh hashanah, halloween, waffle day, ted party day ofc christmas because presents i mean i enjoy the sentiment behind galentine's day but i'm not a gal pick a gift: mosaic portrait, waffle maker, the iron throne, claymore landmine, buddy box, fake blood, vinegar and mud my heart says buddy box but my head says the iron throne because my mum would be dead jealous

Lily Evans: Go for the Iron Throne.

James Potter: done pick a breakfast food: bacon and eggs, waffles, skillet, actually i can't be bothered writing all of these because bacon is the greatest food of all time and the eggs are healthy so they cancel out the unhealthiness of the bacon

Lily Evans: That's really not how it works. Please don't assume that's how that works.

James Potter: pick a mouse rat song: 5000 candles in the wind, sex hair, the pit, november, catch your dream, two birds holding hands

Lily Evans: So we're just blowing past your fundamental misunderstanding of how food is processed by our bodies?

James Potter: i am going to choose sex hair because i too

Lily Evans: You too what?

James Potter: final question i have to pick a photo of joe biden i'm going to pick the one of him looking fed up

Lily Evans: Again, why?

James Potter: all of the others are better so i don't think it gets picked much feel kind of sorry for it (because i am a paragon of whatever it was i said earlier i can't be bothered to scroll up) time to get my result

Lily Evans: And?

James Potter: 16 cavendish avenue

Lily Evans: Who did you get?

James Potter: do you need the postcode

Lily Evans: I know where Cavendish Avenue is, we don't live in a sprawling metropolis. Who did you get?

James Potter: results inconclusive soz

Lily Evans: Who did you get?

James Potter: i'm too much of an enigma to be pigeonholed no buzzfeed quiz can contain me

Lily Evans: Definitely not Ron.

James Potter: i might have got ron

Lily Evans: I'm not coming tonight unless you tell me who you got.

James Potter: i got leslie and andy

Lily Evans: That tracks.