#ran’s downbad ☠️

[lyrasfuneral]

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝟐 𝐆𝐎! | 𝐑𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈 ☆.

tw: mentions of drugs, liquor, smoking, killing, shooting, gang/crime syndicate affiliation, cursing, Ran’s under the influence in half of the fic (there’s no smut), and i THINK i mentioned cigarettes and pills.

category: fluff / funny/crackfic(??).

Ran knew you were hard to get. From the very first day he met you, he made a bet with himself to marry you. You were Takeomi’s younger sister, and since Mikey knew you, he had no problem with you coming to HQ.

Takeomi told Ran not to even engage with you, he’d be damned if Ran corrupted his little sister with this Bonten shit. Then there was Sanzu… who didn’t even mind. Each time Sanzu saw you he’d give you a small wave and keep going with his day.

“Excuse me.” Ran said, gaining your attention. “Yes?” You spun around on your heel, e/c eyes connecting with his purple ones. “You dropped this.” Ran hand you your keys with a smug smile. “Nice pick-up line, you could do better though.” You chuckled, walking out of the headquarters.

“Dumbass.” Sanzu snickered, covering his mouth as Rindou and Kakucho began giggling like little kids. “Shut up.” Ran scoffed, sitting in his seat. “No one told you to try and get our sister's attention. I’m sure she would’ve come back to get her keys.” Takeomi shrugged. “I think it’s funny,” Mikey said with a dead expression.

“W-Well, you could at least smile, boss.”

“What if I DON’T want to smile?”

“O-Ok…”

When you first met Mikey, you two instantly became friends. You liked hanging out with Mikey and your brothers, which is why you came to headquarters a lot.

But, that isn’t the focus. The focus is on you and Ran. The only encounters you two had was when he picked up your keys and when he introduced himself to you. You didn’t have an eye on anyone in Bonten. They were all dangerous, including your siblings. At least you can use them for your leverage. It’s like having scary dog privileges.

If you haven’t been in that type of situation before, thank whoever’s in a higher power. You were currently trying to put your keys into the keyhole of the door until someone grabbed you. “Stop struggling, bitch!” He yelled. “You seem like YOU’RE the one struggling!” Y/N hissed, punching the male in his gut.

You were doing good until a loud gunshot rang out. You thought you got hit, but that’s not why you fell and covered your ears though. You never did well with loud noises. That’s why you didn’t enjoy occasions where they were popped.

“Y/N, it’s Ran. Your brother’s coworker.” Ran said, trying to grab your attention. “What are you doing here-! You know what… Just come inside.”

“I have to get rid of him first, give me a second.”

You stayed inside by yourself for a good 30 minutes. That was enough time to calm yourself down and collect your thoughts. “I’m back,” Ran smirked, taking his gloves off. “Yeah… That’s cool. Why were you even there?” Y/N asked, crossing her arms. “Dunno. This is my usual route home. There’s only one car I know that’s F/C.” The man shrugged, causing you to scoff.

“Well… You’re not fucking Bruce Wayne so I don’t know if you want the key to the city or something.”

Ran’s smirk remained the same as he got closer to you. His eyes were low and full of whatever dirty thoughts were running through his mind. “I’d prefer a kiss.” He said, putting a finger on your chin as he gently lifted your head. “Oh? I’m sure you’re not a virgin. Here’s a tip— Go to the local club, right? Find a stripper and BOOM! A nice little kiss.” Y/N pulled away from Ran.

“Someone’s playing hard to get.” Ran scoffed, walking towards the door. “Thanks for saving me, Haitani. I’ll pay you back one day.” Y/N gave him an awkward smile as he left.

He didn’t expect you to repay him.

He didn’t know why he listened to the 4 of his coworkers. He shouldn’t have gotten drunk that night. Rindou knew his brother couldn’t control his liquor, but he was too drunk and high to even care.

2 bottles of Hennessy and like 5 blunts? Oh, best believe Ran was seeing double and hearing shit. “Ran, you’re sweating,” Kakucho said. “Take him hom- Where’s Rindou?!” Sanzu gawked, looking around the club. “Probably with some whore. I don’t know why he’d run off though, he’s our fucking ride!” Kokonui hissed, throwing money at the strippers. “‘M gonna go outside for a minute.” Ran said, voice falling on deaf ears.

He had never been this drunk/high in his life. He couldn’t even unlock his phone to call a taxi, uber, or Lyft. He was seeing double and his ears were constantly ringing.

Mikey would’ve killed him. Someone who can’t control their liquor or handle their high shouldn’t be in Bonten. What if an adversary came and shot him dead? Wait- Don’t think that- Now he’s crouching down in front of the club trying to shake his thoughts off.

“Ran..? Are you alright?”

“Who is that?” F/N looked toward Y/N with a confused expression. “He’s… my brother’s friend. Go home, I have to get him out of here.” Y/N shooed her friend away and shook Ran’s shoulder.

“Oh..? Y/N. I’m seeing shit, aren’t I? You’re probably Rindou.” Ran snickered to himself, letting his head fall back on the brick wall of the club. “Ran, it’s me. Y/N, ok? I have to get you out of here. You’re drunk… or whatever the hell is going on with you. Did you get drunk?” Y/N pushed Ran towards her car.

“Rindou… Take me home, fucking jackass…” Ran mumbled, falling into the passenger seat. “I’m not that conceited bastard! Takeomi’s already gonna be mad that I took you home!” Y/N slammed the car door in anger.

Once Y/N got in, Ran was drawing on the car window with his finger. “Ooooo… Rindou, I drew a butterfly- Kinda looks like Kokonoi, doesn’t it?” The two-toned male chuckled deviously, throwing his head back against the seat.

Y/N tried to ignore Ran and whatever the hell he was on, but he continuously got on her nerves by either turning up the radio, calling her Rindou or just talking shit about Kakucho.

“You know… Rindou. Takeomi’s sister’s super pretty. You want some nieces or nephews?” Ran asked, looking out of the window. “What are you gonna do? Fuck her and leave her?” Y/N jokingly snorted, turning her blinker on. “No. I’m gonna marry her and have a big family. I’ll steal her number out of Takeomi’s phone.” Ran plotted, smirking deviously.

“You’re really stupid, Ran.”

“You’re stupid too, Rindou.”

Y/N handed a water bottle to Ran, watching him fumble with the cap. “Drink it. Hopefully, it sobers you up.” Y/N tried her best not to laugh as Ran turned the radio up. “You know… Rindou, your car looks fuckin’ different. Reminds me of Y/N.” Ran said, feeling the car finally park.

Y/N had to drag Ran in and put him on the couch. “Rindou… Are we in a hotel? Looks expensive, if you break stuff and we gotta pay, I have Kokonoi’s card number memorized.” Ran said, laying on the couch. “Mhm, everything’s gonna be alright… Ok, Ran?” Y/N frowned, watching his eyes shut.

A blanket was placed over Ran’s body as Y/N kept a gloomy expression on her face. She ended up staying up until 5 AM watching some random show.

When Ran woke up, he was completely oblivious to the events that transpired, all he knew was that he was at YOUR house on YOUR couch when he was clearly at a club with his brother and friends. “Y/N-? Y/N, wake up.” Ran said, shaking you awake.

“Oh… I was supposed to wake up earlier and cook breakfast.”

“N-No… You don’t need to do that for me. Why am I here? Did I do something?” Ran asked, watching Y/N stretch in her seat. “I was out with my friend and saw you in front of the club looking like you were dying.” Y/N shrugged.

She ended up going into full detail on what he said, did, and acted. Ran instantly choked on his spit as Y/N stifled her laughter. “You’re easy to laugh at Ran. I don’t think you realize the things you do or say until someone expresses how they feel towards you.” Y/N said, taking a sip of orange juice.

“I do know what I say. I mean everything that comes out of my mouth, Y/N. I’m not some random guy who just fucks every bitch he comes across.” Ran said, getting closer to Y/N. “Is that right, Haitani?” Y/N smiled, feeling Ran wrap his arms around her.

“Yeah, it is.”

Ran leaned in for a kiss and Y/N pulled back. “You’re an idiot, Haitani! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen since I and Senju hid Takeomi’s cigs. Thanks for the laugh.” The woman said, walking towards her bathroom.

“Shit… Do you need an Uber or do you want me to take you?”

“I’ll… just ask Rin to take me.”

Ran was so embarrassed that he waited outside for his brother to come— And let’s just say it took him a good 50 minutes to even get his older brother.

“What the hell happened last night? You look stressed!”

“I’ve got a long way to go, Rindou.”

“Dude, what the fuck are u talking about ☠️?”

————

Basically, I wanna make a part two and upload way more diff fics, but I honestly might not be able to due to school :(

☆.

[lyrasfuneral]

𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝟐 𝐆𝐎! | 𝐑𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈 (2)

tw: ran almost crashes the car, cussing, Ran basically has a huge breakdown inside of his mind.

category: fluff :3

Ran came into work with Rindou and immediately had eyes on him. “Dude, where the fuck did you disappear to last night? You said you were going outside, not fuckin’ leaving us!” Kakucho yelled. “Yeah, dude. Where’d you go?”

“Y/N’s house..”

Takeomi fell out of his chair, Sanzu’s pill fell out of his mouth, and Mikey’s jaw was on the ground. Before Takeomi or Sanzu yelled at him, he quickly explained the situation and said nothing sexual happened, which was true.

“Y-You tried to… kiss her?” Mikey stifled his laughter as Mochi’s cheeks puffed out. Within a few seconds, Ran became the source of today’s laughter. “Y/N would never get with someone like you, dude. Her standards are pretty high, which is why she hasn’t had a boyfriend.” Takeomi patted Ran’s back aggressively.

“I feel like someone’s talking about me.”

Eyes shot towards the ‘entrance’ of the hideout. “Hey, sis..! Wanna tell us about last night?” Sanzu smiled, wrapping his arm around his sister. “I saw Ran drunk and let him sober up at my house. What’s wrong with that?” Y/N asked, gently pulling away from her brother.

“This is so pathe- Ran, do better,” Kokonoi said, coughing to avoid letting out the laugh hidden deep in his throat. “Fuck all of you.” Ran scoffed.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing at him. If you were really friends with Ran, then you wouldn’t have left him outside while under the influence. If I were you, I’d be glad that nothing happened to Ran, ya know? Since you’re… gang members.” Y/N scoffed, turning on her heel and leaving the building.

“Aww… Didn’t get to see why she even came over.” Takeomi let out a loud sigh. “I can’t be mad, she’s right.” Rindou shrugged, hugging his brother tightly. “Y/N’s funny. I like her.” Mikey said, watching Takeomi look at him in confusion. “Dude, she gave you Dorayaki when you both were 12, let it go.”

For some reason, the entire office began arguing, and Ran used that as his chance to slip out and try to catch Y/N. “Y/N!” Ran yelled, panting as Y/N turned around.

For some reason, Y/N didn’t even look toward him. “Y/N, I know you hear me.” Ran crossed his arms as Y/N turned around. “You’re really embarrassing Ran,” Y/N spoke, e/c eyes looking towards the ground. “How am I embarrassing, Y/N?” Ran tilted his head in confusion.

Y/N’s eyes slowly traveled up his body, hands moving behind her back. “Nevermind… You’re gonna ask to pay me back from Last night, right? Here’s my number.” Y/N handed Ran a sticky note with a number on it. “Is this a joke?” Ran asked. “Of course not. I’m tired of joking around with you. You always look like a kicked puppy when I make fun of you.” Y/N said, getting into her car. “So... If I call this number… You’ll pick up?”

“No, Satan will. Obviously dumbass!”

Ran felt dejected once more. At least he got her number though. +10 points for Ran even though Y/N is up by like… 45. That doesn’t matter though, he got the damn number. He’s winning as of right now.

“What the hell were you doing?” Kokonoi asked, watching Ran smile stupidly. “Getting air.” Ran said, sitting down in his usual spot. “Very nice! Unfortunately, I don’t care. Get to work.”

“Yes, boss.”

After a long day of doing whatever the hell Mikey makes them do, Ran was on his way home until he got a call. He doesn’t usually get calls, so he decided to answer it.

“Hey, is this Ran?”

“Y/N?” Ran asked, stopping at the red light. “Yup, so when are you taking me out? I’m hungry.” Although Ran wasn’t around her, he could tell she had some sort of frown on her face. “Who said I would take you out tonight?” Ran asked, nervously looking at his watch.

“Um… Sanzu? He said you were talking about it all day. Even gave me your number..” Y/N shrugged, pouring water into her cup. “I was talking about next week. Go get dressed.” Ran said, turning left. “Alright. Just come in when you’re here.” Y/N ended the call.

“I’m gonna murder Sanzu.”

While Ran was mentally cursing out Sanzu, Y/N was trying to figure out what dress to wear. “Too Pink… Why would I wear pink with some damn mafia member? What if I wear black?” Y/N picked up the dress.

“Mm… Who cares? Free food is free food.” Y/N sighed, throwing the dress on. Most of the stuff in her closet is stuff she bought with her brother’s money. Sanzu didn’t care and Takeomi just told her not to make him go bankrupt.

Good brother’s if you ask me. Money whenever I want? Oh, count me in.

That’s not the topic though. By the time Y/N finished getting dressed, Ran was at her door. “Look who’s on time.” Y/N smiled, looking at Ran’s nervous expression. “Um… Where do you wanna go.”

“Mcdonald’s.”

“What?”

“I’m joking, take me anywhere.”

Ran helped Y/N into the car and sped into the night, thinking of where they should go. What’s the best restaurant he’s been to? Where’s somewhere he can go that’s gonna wow Y/N?

Misoguigawa is known for its French-styled food. Y/N would like that right? French is good, right? Paris is the symbol of love so-

“Ran, you’re gonna fucking crash!” Y/N’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Ran’s foot pressed onto the brakes, causing both of them to roughly hit their seats. “I thought you wanted to take me out to a restaurant! Not take me to the damn gates of Heaven!” Y/N yelled, watching Ran sigh.

“Just sit back and don’t worry.”

Don’t worry? Bro you almost sent her up with Shinichiro. “I’m gonna believe you for the sake of this food.” Y/N sighed, feeling the car finally move.

Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. Ran’s hot, and besides him being the laughingstock of his friends, he’s actually a good guy. Yeah, he might kill people, but that has nothing to do with Y/N. It’s not like she cares either, he seems like he has no horrible motives.

Maybe she should date him and give him a chance. He seems like love just avoids him.

“Y/N, we’re here.”

Y/N looked up to see the Misoguigawa in front of her. She’s heard of it many times, but she hadn’t been there. Not only that, but from the outside, it looks amazing. Ran, of course, linked his arms with yours before walking into the restaurant, and it was amazing. You were kinda upset that you haven’t even been here before.

During the dinner, Ran didn’t talk much. He just kept asking if you liked the food, if you were having fun, or if you were all right.

Now, if Rin was here, he would’ve told you that Ran has a crush on you. You noticed it too, of course, but for some reason, you don’t believe it’s genuine. “Ran, I’m ready to g-!” Before you could speak, Ran cut you off. “I’m in love with you.” He said, tightly gripping his cup.

Y/N looked shocked for a second, but then she started laughing, and that did nothing but break his confidence down. She was laughing at him, just like everyone else does… That’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair.

He spent money on her, saved her from some thug, he’s taking her out to eat without asking for gas money— Is Sanzu’s sister really this cruel?

Her laughing fueled his anger. He didn’t know what to do except sit there and continuously grip his cup until Y/N noticed the cracks forming on the glass. “Ran, did you not hear me? Calm down, I’m in love with you too.” Y/N gave him a nervous smile. “What..?” Ran finally let the cup out of his grip, feeling his body no longer tremble from the anger. “I’m in love with you too, Ran. Don’t make me say it again.” Y/N placed her hand on top of Ran’s.

“Are you fucking with me or-?”

Ran felt Y/N press her lips against his for a solid 10 seconds. “Does that say enough or no, Ran?” Y/N placed a hand on his chin, smiling devilishly. “It does, Y/N. May I ask what this makes us?”

“Dumb and Dumber.”

“Ok…”

In the end, you and Ran are dating. This is the happiest you’ve been since you got to spend everything on Sanzu’s card. Ran was always soft and gentle with you… but ya know.

Maybe not in bed.

—————

my friend was the first to read this 😭. Hope you all enjoyed 🫶🏾.

☆。