#ran out of tags on last post but still want to rant without filling anyone's inbox or dash

[emometalhead]

.

[ka-za-ri]

PN 6259-6268 (Ignis x Reader)

EDIT: I’ve been made aware that this fic may crash your app. You can also read it on Ao3 Here! 

Alternative Title: Anecdotes and Table Talks Rating: SFW Pairing: Older!Ignis x Reader Genre: Fluff, Slow burn Wordcount: 17,892 Suggested Listening: Rebirth -- 10cm

Notes: Alright friends, BUGGLE UP. WE’RE GOIN’ IN FOR A LONG RIDE. Happy 1,000 posts to me! I’ve been slaving over this for the past two weeks and it’s finally happening. Thank you for all those people who have patiently waited! 

Tagging: @roses-and-oceans @hypaalicious @cagedbycravings @desperateauboise @r-e-g-a-l-i-a @sweetchocobae @itshaejinju (idk if I missed anyone??? It’s been like seven years since I tagged) 

Books on love could be found on the topmost floor of the citadel library. They're located twenty six paces down the aisle, nestled in between Fine Arts and Science. They were always bound in leather and smelled of freshly plucked camillias and Ebony.  

~~

With the return of the sun and the Chosen King, Insomnia began to rebuild itself from the ground up. As far as technology had grown and flourished in the city, it still required manual labor to actually build a city from the charred remains. As the promise of light returned to the world, the overall feeling of hope and rebirth spread itself through the people.

Of course, no one ever said that rebuilding the city to its former glory was going to be easy. There were only a handful of the Crownsguard left, and they struggled to rally people to reclaim the time that was lost to them for the past ten years of darkness.

Slowly, but as sure as the regular rise and fall of the sun, what spirit that was left within the civilians became rekindled. Insomnia woke from it's long slumber. Those who didn't dare to join the Crownsguard's efforts in rebuilding the Citadel focused their efforts on restarting businesses that had been long closed. In the midst of the chaotic revival of light and life, you found yourself comfortably working at a pastry shop, supplying the working masses with a little sweetness and much needed coffee.

It wasn't your ideal job, but it made ends meet; and it was definitely better than running away from daemons on a daily basis. Still, as your world started to reset, you began to miss what had been and the life you once lived. Time had passed and so had many of your friends. As things returned to normal, you couldn't help but yearn for what 'normal' felt like before. Much of what you missed was based on the connections and friendships you once had and the comfortable memories of a life that was long in the past.

When you heard from rumors floating around that your friend in the Crownsguard had survived, you did your best track her down. It was harder to do than you had initially thought it would be. Ten years was a long enough time for people to change drastically. The faces you thought you would never forget had changed so much. You found it hard to recognize anyone, even if they did introduce themselves to you; so when she returned to your life, it came as a bit of a surprise to say the least.

It was a normal weekday at work, nothing out of the ordinary, save for the one customer who didn't quite understand what, “Sorry, we're out of this item already, you'll have to come back tomorrow,” meant. Business ran itself as usual until a whirlwind of energy and joy entered the shop shortly after the lunch rush.

"I need two of your largest and strongest cups of Ebony, black, if you will," she said rather breathlessly, holding up her fingers to emphasize her needs. "The Royal Advisor is cranky and I'd like to stay on his good side if possible."

"Of course. It'll take just a bit," you said while ringing up her order. Something... about her seems familiar... There was a way that she spoke and a way that she carried herself that reminded you of someone you once knew. The more you thought about her while you made the order, the more familiar her features became.

The pieces finally clicked in your head when you slid the two cups across the counter to her. Your eyes met and everything made complete sense the moment she took the cups from you gave you a wink and spoke again.

"Thanks, lil’ Chickadee."

You blinked twice. You didn't think you'd hear that term of endearment again, considering there was only one person who had ever called you that. Narrowing your eyes and tilting your head slightly, you finally recognized her as the person you had been looking for the past few weeks.  "Are you...?"

She grinned from ear to ear at your question. "The one and only. I thought you'd never get it. Found out through the grapevine that you worked here and I just had to pay a visit. Well that and you know, had to get my boss some hot bean juice," she said, gesturing to her order. "I gotta get going before these get cold and the boss man gets angry. Catch up with you later though? I can always stop by again and see when you're free."

"Sounds like a plan. Good luck with the boss, he seems like he runs a tight shift."

"You have no idea," she said, flashing you another grin before making her way out of the shop.

You didn't realize how relieving it was to find out that someone else you knew had made it through to the end until you watched her retreating form dash across the front windows. The rest of your day was spent in a slight haze of happiness from that small moment.

~~

Ever since that day at work, you had made it a point to see your friend again as often as possible. A quick exchange of your new phone numbers and a promise to catch up was all it took for you to reconnect with her and feel a little more at home amongst the rebuilding rubble.

To your knowledge, she was the only one of your acquaintances who had survived. Granted, she hadn't come out unscathed. Due to an explosion, she had lost her hearing on her left side, and a great scar was forever branded across her face. However, she was alive, and that was all that mattered to you.

Life was less lonely when she was around, and you could always rely on her lively stories to wash away any of the tiredness you felt in your bones after a long work week. She had suggested that the two of you meet up at least once a week to catch up on the events that had passed while the world was shrouded in darkness.

What was initially intended as a regular meeting to tell stories of what happened to the two of you during the last ten years, usually turned quite depressing too fast for your liking. Thus, your weekly hangouts often ended up with the two of you getting completely drunk off of freedom and wine while swapping horror stories of your workplaces. Not that it really mattered to either of you, it was simply nice to have someone around, listening to your stories without the fear of daemons and death at your door.

"Ugh, we're so understaffed all the time, it’s like no one wants to join the Crownsguard anymore. It's not as glamorous a job as it used to be y'know?" your friend ranted over a shared bottle of wine. "Can you believe it? They've got me, the half deaf person, on the phone trying to talk to any contractors who might have the materials that we might need to rebuild half the Citadel. They took me off that duty when I started answering calls on my left ear and asking people to repeat themselves five times over 'cause I swear if I took another call with my good ear, I might as well go completely deaf."

You couldn't help but let out a laugh at her dismay as she poured herself another glass. "So what did they have you do instead once you were off the phone?"

"Told me I was in charge clearing rubbish from the corridors so that people have access to the other parts of the building. And then, they told me that they put me on cleaning up the library this upcoming week. That's something I'm not looking forward to," she groaned laying her head down on your dining room table and letting out a long whine. "I hate clean up duty the most."

"What's so bad about it?" You had perked up when she had mentioned the library. It had always been a dream of yours to get lost in the floors upon floors of books that were rumored to be held there. "It's not like how hard basic training was for you when you first started, right?"  

"I'll take basic training over cleaning up that place any day. It's a royal mess there. I took a peek before leaving just to get an idea and I almost wanted to quit. Books everywhere, some burned, some water damaged, some just... not salvageable anymore. We've gotta go and sort through and reorganize everything again. It's going to be a giant pain in the ass."

"It sounds like heaven," you mumbled softly to yourself, looking at your half filled glass of wine and dreaming of what it would be like to be in the presence of such a grand library. Even in ruins, the thought of being able to work there and organizing tickled your fancy.

"What was that?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing!"

"Oh no, no, no. I heard you say something. Come on, speak up, you know my hearing isn't that great anymore."

"It... just sounds like heaven. You know, sorting, organizing and all of the fun stuff," you repeated sheepishly, unable to look away at your friend.

"Fun? What part of that sounds like fun to you?"

"I don't know... all of it? I like organizing things," you admitted with a small shrug.

"If you could only see the mess that we have to deal with, you'd think otherwise."

"If you could only get me in there to see that mess, I'll be happy to help you get organized."

"That... Can be arranged."

~~

One week later, you were somehow convinced that sneaking into the Citadel on your day off was going to be a good idea. At an hour much too early for your liking, you followed the directions she gave you the day before to find yourself at a part of the ruins that was not heavily guarded. Through a passageway that was almost too small for you to squeeze through, you met up with your friend. She quietly led the way, not trying at all to hide her yawns.

It was to your never ending dismay to see the once grand Citadel in shambles. For the most part, the exterior had been rebuilt quite quickly. Parts of the interior, however, still suffered from major losses. The library was no exception.

It broke your heart to see whole sections of the multi-floored library in disarray. Countless shelves had been knocked over, and orphaned pages from destroyed books littered the ground. What broke your heart even more were the piles upon piles of beat up books that were deemed “a lost cause.” It was the war zone of lost literature that your friend was tasked to work with. You felt your heart ache with sorrow when you picked up a loose page from the ground to see the edges charred and a gaping hole where passages of text used to be. "This is horrible..."

"Told ya. Just, try to blend in or something, most of the people assigned here today are new recruits that we managed to get so no one really knows each other yet."

"I'll try..."

It was common knowledge that the library was home of some of the oldest, rarest and most coveted texts and works of literature. To know that priceless artifacts such as those could have been damaged and were about to be thrown out made you ache with a yearning to help your friend's cause. Something in the back of your mind yelled at you to do something, even if you were basically an intruder in a sacred space.

You knew that if you didn't do something, you would never have another peaceful night's rest having known that so much knowledge could be lost forever. Some of the newer texts might be found and replicated in other continents, but not the older works. To your knowledge, with the last ten years of darkness, there wasn't a cohesive database set up anymore either. "No chance I can spend a few hours here to help you out?" you asked, turning to your friend who was already sifting through a rather large heap of texts in various states of damage.

"I don't see why not. We could always use an extra pair of hands. Don't wanna bother you on your day off though. Figured you'd wanna wander around and read everything in sight."

"It's not a bother if I asked you to bring me here in the first place. And as appealing as sitting in a corner and reading is, you did tell me to blend in. I don't think slacking off counts as fitting in," you said with a shrug. Glancing at the pile of books in front of you, you gingerly picked one up. You almost didn't dare to breathe when you felt the leather binding give slightly and threaten to disintegrate with a less gentle touch.

"Do you have any paper and a pen?" you asked looking around.

"Somewhere around here, yeah check that back desk. What do you plan on doing?" she asked, pointing you in general direction of where the supplies would be.

"What's it look like I'm going to do?" you asked, sitting yourself at the desk, barely breathing when you flipped to the first page of the book. "We'll lose these forever if you just throw them out. Someone's gotta transcribe these."

"You're kidding..."

"I'd rather give it my best shot than have all of these things go to waste. Now leave me alone, I've got work to do," you grumbled, grabbing at the first writing utensil that came to your hands. As far as technology had advanced, there wasn't much that it could do with such a delicate task at hand. With a blank sheet of paper in front of you and your phone at your side to look up references, you went to save what laid within the book you had picked up.

You didn't want to admit that the mission you set yourself with was much harder than you had anticipated. Not only were the pages frail, large passages of text had melted from the pages as the ink had been washed away. Judging from the condition of the first page, it was hard for you to want to go on; however, the subject matter kept pushing you forward.

After much cursing and squinting at your phone screen, you were able to piece together the foreword and Table of Contents. Upon further inspection of your work, you realized it was a book on the history of Eos from the beginning of time. Finding out that the Citadel itself was so close to throwing a text like this out and lose such an important piece of its own history made you want to complete your task even more.

Scribbling down what words you could make out and ambitiously struggling to figure out what was missing, you barely noticed your free day passing you by. It wasn't until your friend approached you with coffee in hand that you noticed the headache that had started to throb behind your eyes from straining them in the dimly lit library.

She picked up the completed pages you had pushed to the side and let out a low whistle at your handiwork. "Wow, I didn't think that you'd get this much out of that ratty old book. I thought it was gone for sure." Squinting slightly, she assessed your handwriting a little further. "Huh, I think you misspelled something there..."

"Wait, what?" you exclaimed, grasping at the page in her hand. She laughed jovially before putting the sheet of paper back on the desk.

"Just kidding," she teased, laughing again at your expression of sheer frustration. "But seriously, you're kind of amazing. I was afraid we'd have to throw out a lot of books like these. Guess they won't have to go to waste after all."

You let out a sheepish laugh. "Yeah, it's not easy though."

"I don't doubt it. Which is why I plan on fully compensating you for your efforts," a voice unfamiliar to you came from behind the two of you and you startled suddenly. Frantically, you grabbed at your phone and attempted to get away; however, a heavy hand on your shoulder stopped you from doing much else. Turning your head slowly, you were greeted by the deep blue gaze of the King himself.

"Uh... Hi?" you squeaked, shying from his grasp; but his hold on your shoulder only tightened. Idiot, that's not how you address the king. He's going to kill me.

"You don't look familiar, and I'd like to think I recognize all of the people that work here."

"I... Uh... Actually don't work here?" you offered, hoping that the truth would lessen whatever punishment that might be met. You sound more and more like an idiot with every second. Get it together.

"Oh? Then you should be well aware that this place isn't open to civilians. How did you get in here?"

The silence that passed seemed to stretch for all eternity, and you glanced pleadingly at your friend for some assistance in your situation. She was frozen in place and just about as terrified of what disciplinary actions the king himself would be handing out. The hand on your shoulder felt too warm, too heavy; and you wished for nothing more at that moment than to disappear somehow.

In your panic and in your attempt to appear heroic, you did the only thing that came to mind and that was to start talking your way out of your situation. "So you see, I mean, I know that this place is off limits and all that but I heard that a lot of books got damaged during the that whole time in the darkness and I honestly couldn't let that go because you know, they're books and they never did anything to anyone. And so I was like well, you gotta go and help them out, y'know? What if they need to be looked after? So I mean, I may have dragged my friend into this and I didn't mean to, it's really all my fault. It's not like I was planning to steal any crown jewels or anything, I just really wanted to help out even if I don't work here and---"

"Would you like to?" Noctis' voice cut into your rambling – at the right time too. You were starting to run out of excuses to make, and you were starting to feel lightheaded from not taking a full breath since the start of your heroic speech. The awkward silence that followed his question felt heavier than his hand on your shoulder.

"Uh...Excuse me?" you blinked rapidly, looking at him to make sure you hadn't imagined what he had said.

"Work. Would you like to work here?" There was a glimmer of mischief in the young king's eyes, and you found yourself answering his question much quicker than you had anticipated.

"By the Six I'd love nothing more. Yes. Yes. A million times yes," you breathed, realizing that you were being offered a chance to work in a job you had only ever dreamed about. Truth be told, with the amount of charisma that he exuded, he could have offered you a job mopping up the floors using only your nose; and you would have readily agreed.

"You're enthusiastic. I like that about you," he said with a soft laugh. "I suppose you won't mind doing all the paperwork for me?" he asked, raising a knowing eyebrow at your mortified friend who had done everything in her power to melt into the floor but to no avail.

"Yes! Of course!" she exclaimed, vigorously saluting and standing at attention.

"Good. You take care of that. Once everything is signed, please be sure that I have everything in my office. Oh and, make sure that you get a uniform before you go as well," he said before finally taking his hand off your shoulder. "You'll start tomorrow, 7:00. I'll have the desk you sat at earlier today set up for you. You seemed comfortable enough there."  

"Uh... Yes! 7:00! That's a time! That works! I work!" you squeaked, doing your best to mimic the salute your friend had given. Astrals above, shut your mouth before he regrets his decision right here and now. You're making a fool of yourself.

"I expect nothing more than you to do your work," he said, emphasizing the last word, poking a bit of fun at your fumbling words. "Well, then. I'll leave you to it," he jested, throwing a small mock salute at the two of you before turning and heading off.

You hadn't realized how stiffly you had been standing until you no longer felt the warmth of his hand on your shoulder. Once you saw that he was out of sight and heard the door to a different room click shut, you felt comfortable enough to finally slouch and heave a deep sigh of relief. It was silent for a long while as you listened to the dust settle around you against the backdrop of your heavily hammering heart.

You glanced over at your friend who was still recovering from her state of shock.

"So... That... Happened."

"Yeah, it did. How much do you like paperwork?" she asked, slowly coming out of her stupor and realizing that she had orders to follow.

"Well, I guess I'm about to like it enough to get this job I guess. Where do I start?"

"Follow me. You've got a lot to go through," she said, leading the way to a small room tucked in a back corner.

"Where are we?"

"It's just a storage room. It's the only place we've got set up right now to keep paperwork and stuff for new recruits."

Looking around the tiny space, you noticed floor to ceiling shelves lining one half of the room. The other half let in the fading sunlight through heavily tinted glass which looked out to what appeared to be the gardens, or at least what remained of them. A small table accompanied by a rickety chair was wedged into the corner of the room. With a quick glance, you noticed the shelves were lined with thick binders instead of books. There wasn't a chance for you to get a closer look at their labeling as your friend led you to the table in the corner once she had found what she was looking for.

"Get comfortable," she grunted as she set down a thick binder onto the table and an almost equally thick stack of paper. You startled slightly when you swore you heard the small table groan under the weight of so much paperwork. "This is your basic handbook and guide to your benefits and your job. You'll also need to sign all of those forms, make sure you read them all, there isn't a test at the end, but just read it in case someone does drill you for any reason."

You gaped at the monumental amount of documents in front of you. "All of this?"

"All of it," she said with a solemn nod. "I have to head back to helping the others, you know where to find me. I'll check up on you in a couple hours to make sure you're alive."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Any time. Oh. Light switch is here if it gets too dark for you to read. It should be in working order, if not, just jiggle the switch a bit and that should do the trick," she said before she went off on her way.

You waited until she was out of your line of sight before you turned to the mountain of paperwork in front of you. The binder itself looked to be at least a couple hundred pages alone. Well, it's not going to read itself. You agreed to this... Sighing deeply you opened to the first page and got yourself a good look at what life would be like as an employee of the Crown.

~~

I have every right to be here. I mean, the King himself asked me to work here, but I guess that's not even saying a whole lot? There aren't a whole lot of people working here... They were pretty understaffed, I'm sure he suggested giving this job to me just  for more help. That means. I belong here. Right? I signed the paperwork and everything. I feel bad for quitting my other job all of a sudden though. At least my boss understood... I mean, this is the Crown we're talking about… This is going to be a good change. Change is good. This is fine. I'll be fine. I hope I'm fine. Did I button up this uniform all the way up the right way? Do my socks match? Is that something they'll check because I sure didn't.

Your thoughts were moving much faster than your body as you followed your friend on your first official day as Head Archivist. They even gave me a job title, what dream world do I live in, and can I never wake up? Your steps sounded hollow, too loud for the austere palace that you could now call your workplace.

"Nervous?"

"Uh... What makes you think that?" you asked, trying to keep the shaking in your voice down. With the acoustics in the stone corridors, it appeared that trying to hide how badly your voice squeaked and shook wasn't possible seeing as the walls seemed to echo and amplify all noises. Out of sheer habit and the need to do something with your jitters, you idly plucked at the decorative buttons at your sleeves while the corridor you walked in seemed to stretch for miles. I swear, this place didn't feel this big when I snuck in...

"You'll do fine. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

"They could behead me for slander if I misspell the name of an ancient king in a language that I don't understand. They could burn me at the stake for making too many mistakes in punctuation, you know I'm not good at that. But I guess I'll be transcribing things, so really, it would be up to the author of the original text to have good grammar, so I guess that's not my fault. Except I guess when it gets to the parts that I might have to make up. Yeah, then they'll just stab me in the face for being an incompe---"

"Stop. You're going to be fine. You haven't even started working yet and you're trying to figure out a way to get out of it?" she clapped her hand onto your shoulder and looked you squarely. "If the king's impressed, then I'm convinced that you'll do fine."

"That's what yo--"

"Enough. It is way too early for one of your rambling speeches."

You sighed and took a deep breath, trying to still the rampant thoughts of self destruction from intruding again. "Right. Work. I can do this. I did it yesterday, I can do it again today," you stated, trying to gain some semblance of confidence.

"Exactly, see? No big deal," she let out a warm laugh before heading back in the direction of the library with you only a few steps behind.

Again, your heart seized up at the ruin before you. The smell of old pages mingled with smoke and gunpowder; and you wondered vaguely if the library would ever return to just smelling like leather, ink and aged parchment. At least this time, I'm allowed to do something about it.

The desk you had used the day before had been set up quite nicely. This time, instead of having to rely on your phone to look up references, the desk you would call your own had been equipped with a computer and a pair of monitors to work on. You let out an internal sigh of relief when you saw it, realizing that you didn't have to strain your eyes anymore from staring a your tiny phone screen.

"I guess this is my home now," you murmured, setting your things down to get a better look at everything that had been set up. "At least I don't think I have to go through basic training..."

"No, but looks like you're in charge of all of these," Your friend said, pushing a cart filled with books over to you.

"Please tell me I don't have to do all of that today," you whispered.

"I don't think you do, but you know how I said we're understaffed?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Expect lots more to come your way." she sang as she skipped off to get started on her own duties.

You sighed as you settled into the chair at your desk. Tucking your belongings under it, you took a good look at everything in front of you and realized that no one had bothered to give you any sort of indication of your regular duties and what sort of quota you were supposed to meet in day. Gods, they're so understaffed they can't even train new people... A feeling of dread filled you as you reached for the first book you had worked on just the day before. "Well, it's not going to transcribe itself..." you murmured, pulling out a sheet of paper and turning the computer on.

It was then that you realized you were an overenthusiastic and short sighted person. The monitors flickered to life after a brief moment of the computer booting up. Once it had completed its start up phase, you were greeted with a digital copy of a training manual and employee handbook.

"Shouldn't have doubted the Crown..." you said, clicking the documents open to get accustomed to your new job. This is going to be a long day...

~~

Loving books and the worlds of knowledge and wonder they held could only bring you so far. The rest of your fate was painstakingly built on your personal tenacity and determination.

Within your first few days, you realized that your title of Head Archivist meant more than "go transcribe all these books." It also meant you were literally in charge of the whole library and its contents along with implementing a classification system. You were bombarded with questions from new and old recruits alike who were tasked with restoring the library to its former glory. Doing your best, you answered their inquiries with the limited resources you had at hand and with what basic knowledge of how a library was supposed to be organized.  Of course, no one had told you that you were responsible for any of this when you started. Then again, you doubted that anyone actually knew what went into taking care of a place like the library.

The first week went as you had initially imagined. You spent your hours looking through salvageable texts and transcribing them into your computer while scouring through what online resources were up and running to see if books could be replaced or if the text was already available digitally. Anything you couldn't find, you assumed was lost forever and needed to be transcribed. Though most nights you left mentally drained and with an aching back, you also felt a sense of relief that you were actually being of some use. You couldn't have asked for a more rewarding job than what you had at that moment.

Of course, when life plays itself out too well, something unplanned was bound to happen just as you started to get into a routine.  A week and a half into your new position, all the help you had previously with sorting, cleaning and rebuilding the library had all but vanished. Any extra help had been reallocated to other parts of the castle in worse repair. Thus, ten days into your new life under the Crown, you came in to be greeted by an empty library and a note that detailed your duties, seeing as the library was now your domain.

"This has to be done in three months... on my own?" you could hardly believe your eyes. The list was short. In fact, it only had one task for you to complete. Even if it was only one thing for you to do, you wondered how in the Astrals' names you were going to complete it on your own. "Organize and shelve everything? Do they expect me to live here?" you asked incredulously.

You asked for this. You said it would be heaven to get to organize everything. Guess what. Looks like you're about to die and go to heaven.

You sighed at your foolishness, wondering if your friend had any sort of hand in this cruel outcome. Either way, books were not going to organize themselves and you had much to do. There had to be thousands of books that were still in an acceptable and shelvable condition to sift through. To your luck, the whole inventory of books had already been categorized into broad subjects. At least that was enough of a start for you to figure out what you needed to do.

Your next order was to further categorize and give everything a home in the newly built floors and shelves of the library. Even as someone who grew up in Insomnia, it still amazed you how fast things could get done with the magic of technology. Apparently though, it wasn't good enough to get the library reshelved. Well, no one else is here to do it. Time to get to work.

You hadn’t lied when you said that you enjoyed organizing and sorting. As a hobby, it let you reach a sort of calm despite the chaos around you. At work, it let you see exactly what the library had to offer, and it gave you an idea of where everything should go.

You started with the most general subjects and references by putting similar topics together and then going through again to alphabetize by the name of the author or publisher. You kept your phone with you at all times to digitally keep track of an individualized number you gave each book which you would then scribe in tiny letters on the back cover of each book for reference. As terrifying as marring ancient, priceless texts were, you were more afraid of not knowing it existed without some sort of reference number to go by.

The job was tedious, slow, back breaking, and at times, mind numbing; but you were determined to see it through to the end which caused you to probably spend more time at work than you did sleeping. However, with a deadline of only three months, you had to be diligent. As tiresome as your job could be, you still felt a sense of pride when the first two sections were completely processed after the first week. After spending some time calculating the estimated number of books in the library, you were on track to finish your task at hand as long as a couple of extra hours went into your work instead of sleeping that is.

The days melted into each other as you fell into a routine of sorting, categorizing, listing and organizing the books into neat piles that would be ready to be shelved. At some point, you were so delirious in your obsession with organizing, you were sure you had cursed out your friend who had come in during a slow day to help you. There was a controlling, neurotic side of you that came out when you were invested in your work. From that one brief interaction, she had understood quite clearly that the easiest way to help you was to supply you with your favorite coffee at regular intervals during the day.

You weren't sure if you were really alive by the time you were three quarters of the way done with shelving everything. There had been days where you hadn't gone home and opted to just sleep on the ground so that you didn't have to bother taking the time to commute to work. You didn't want to admit how many times you had done it, but your deadline was fast approaching; and you really didn't know how to ask for help. The library morphed into something more than just your workplace. It truly became your home and in a twisted sense, your sanctuary where you could be alone and lost in your work.

There were days near the end of your allotted months when your hand would cramp and your pen would slip, and you wondered if you were going to make it to your deadline on time. All it took for you to keep going and pushing past the pain though was to glance up at all that you had already done. You were so close to your end goal. With only a week left, there were only three sections left on the floor that were in a chaotic pile. The rest of the sections had all been neatly stacked and were ready to be shelved. You almost cried in relief when it finally hit you on the last week that you were almost done.

You actually did cry when you saw Noctis walk into the library, three days before your due date, to take a look at your work. You weren't ready to show him what you had done. Your job hadn't been completed. In fact, you were running behind schedule. Somewhere along the line, your calculations had been skewed. The tight time line you had convinced yourself would be accurate had failed you; so when the King himself came to check on your failures, you did your best to hide your personal disappointment.

"You did all this yourself?"

"No... One else was here to help. They're helping with other places. So I did it myself. It’s what you asked me to do, right?"

"How much is left?"

"Just those... I only have a few days left before the deadline that you gave me so I really have to get back to work..." you mumbled, looking at the floor and trying your best to still your dominant hand that twitched in pain from being overworked and writing tiny little numbers for days on end. You knew that if you looked up and saw his expression of disappointment that you weren't finished with your job that it would be all over for you. You'd be out of the job that you had barely started, and he'd find someone better to replace you.

"Go home," Noctis stated plainly.

"Eh?" You looked up in shock, letting his words sink in when your worst fears were becoming a reality. "B-but."

"I'll have others come in and finish your work. For now, go home. Get some rest. You look like death. I'll have someone else finish the rest and take care of it."

"But, I have to go and make sure they're numbered and marked and that they're referenced. I've been organizing everything for so long, what if they mess up? What if it's in a different order? Do they even know what kind of order I've been putting ev---"

"Enough. It’s too early for a speech from you. You need rest more than anything right now. We'll work out the logistics of everything later. I'd rather have you sane and at work than what you are right now." He gently placed his hand on your shoulder. "You did a great job. Much better than expected. Just take the next few days off and come back on Monday looking a little more like a human, okay?"

"Y-yes, sir!"

You heaved a great sigh which let the floodgates of your tears open. You weren't sure what emotion you felt as you choked out loud sobs in front of your King, but it didn't quite matter to you. You had been praised for what you had done in silence for the last three months, and it was all the validation you needed.

Lack of sleep hit you like a pile of bricks the moment you returned home for the first time in days, and you fell face first into your bed. You barely had the energy to take off your shoes and uniform before your head hit your pillow, and you promptly floated off into a deep slumber. Rest had never felt more rewarding.

~~

On your return to work on Monday, you learned that you should have never doubted the ability of the Crown. Not only had everything that you had left been taken care of, but they were shelved as well. You rushed to the last few sections you had no hand in and you were stunned, to say the least, when you saw that everything you had been processed and neatly shelved as you had imagined. You felt tears of gratitude prick at the corners of your eyes when you realized that whoever had taken over had also arranged everything according to the system you had used. How they were able to do it without actually getting into your phone and going through your notes you didn't know, nor did you care.

You pulled out a book from the end of the shelf and opened it to the back cover. There, in tiny black ink letters, was a number unique to the book in your hand that followed the classification system you had used. Whoever had been in charge of your project in the last few days was a master detective, and you were forever grateful for it. Not only were you rested, you were allowed to focus on the duty that you had been hired to do.

Making your way back to your desk, you were greeted with a neat stack of papers. Glancing through them, you breathed a deep sigh of relief when you saw that it was a similar table to the one you had on your phone assigning books to their respective numbers. "Amazing..." you murmured to yourself as you set your things on your desk and sat down to look at everything in front of you in further detail. "How did they manage..."

"It wasn't hard, you're just really good at organizing. You weren't kidding when you said, 'Thought it'd be fun,' huh." You glanced up to see your friend had dropped in. She grinned and slid a large cup of coffee your way. "Took us almost no time at all to get everything up and shelved."

"You guys are amazing."

"Us? Nah, you did most of it, we just put things away," she explained with a giggle. "Well. I'm here to let you know that you're basically in charge of this place from here on out. There may be a few new recruits to help keep everything neat and tidy, but this is your home now."

".... King's orders?" you asked, looking up at her and hoping she was actually joking with you. You had initially accepted your job as a chance to restore old texts. The huge responsibility of maintaining the Citadel Library was not something you had signed up for.

"King's orders," she confirmed with a nod. "I mean, it makes sense right? You've gone through basically every book in here and you know where they go. For crying out loud, you're the one who made up this crazy classification system too. You're kind of perfect for the job?"

You let out a small whine, realizing how right she was. "Well, it's better than my last job..."

"That's the attitude! Now, get back to work! I'm sure you've got lots to do."

"I do? What makes you think that?" you asked, gesturing to your desk which was already getting inundated with paperwork and surrounded by books you had yet to transcribe. You didn't even want to think about the periodicals or journals that you would have to process later. Things had to be done one step at a time, and uploading your notes from your phone into a searchable database was the first order of business.

It would take a while for all of your files to transfer from your phone to your computer, so you spent most of your first day back taking the time to memorize where everything was in the event that someone needed a book in the immediate future. The day went by much quicker than you had expected while you wandered the quiet shelves. The library was truly a work of art and you couldn't help but feel pride bubbling from within your chest knowing that you had a hand in making it as beautiful as it was.

It only took you three days to confidently say you knew where everything belonged, and you could easily direct anyone to the section they might have needed. However, it took you much too long to find out that even if you had memorized the location of every book in the vast library, you couldn't help Ignis Scientia.

"Pardon the intrusion, but the geography section?" a cool, accented voice broke through your concentration as you frantically worked on transcribing a passage in a battered book. Now that the library was officially open and the citadel had basically returned to most of its former glory, people interrupting your actual archival work had become a frequent nuisance to you.  

"Second staircase to the left, go up one floor, it'll be near the front. G Section. It's in the first quarter of the floor, what's the subclass?" you asked, not looking up from the current page you were working on.

"Pardon?"

"You can't expect to go and read through the whole geography section. I need specifics. Mathematical geography, Cartography, physical geography, oceanography,  anthropology, all of those things are there, oh yeah, and general Manners and customs too. So, if you're looking for something, please be specific," you rambled and squinted at the passage in front of you. "And what in the Astral's names is this supposed to be..."

"I suppose I'm specifically looking for books on the kingdoms and territories that are invited to the upcoming ball once the Citadel is in a presentable condition. From your description, it would appear that I'm in need of texts regarding physical geography."

"And from what you're telling me, I'm going to tell you that you'll want to go to books on anthropogeography," you huffed, deleting what you had transcribed into your computer and stared at the text a bit longer before having to rewrite the word as it had been earlier. "Knowing where these territories are isn't going to help you deal with the people from there any better. Still, second floor, G Section, you'll be looking in GF, so that'll be five aisles down. Books in that subject start about three quarters of the way in."

"Thank you for correcting me, I appreciate your expertise."

"Uh huh..." you mumbled, flipping the page you were working on and sighing in relief when you saw that most of the text had been preserved. You waited to hear the retreating steps of the person in front of you so you could get back to work without any interruptions. However, when you were a few lines in, you noticed that he still hadn't moved.

"Is there anything else I can hel--" You stopped mid sentence when you looked up and saw his face. You were forever grateful that few people were around to hear the undignified screech that came from your lips.

The man in front of you was none other than the Royal Advisor to the king, Ignis Scientia. He was unmistakable with his distinctively scarred face. Even if you had never been formally introduced, you had seen his profile a few times from a distance and heard stories of him from your friend to know that you had royally messed up and made a fool of yourself.

Now that you had a chance to see him up close, you noticed how striking and handsome he still was despite the scars he wore. If you had been any less panicked, you would have probably thought they actually accentuated his features even further with how confidently he carried himself. Though, as you were in that moment,  you were mentally kicking yourself for your flippant behavior and instantly started stammering apologies to him.

“Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know how I was talking to. I’m so sorry. I’m so bad at paying attention. Though that really isn’t a good excuse. It is kind of my job to take care of everyone and I’m so sorry I’m doing a bad job of taking care of you. I’m sorry… What can I do for you?”

At your frantic stuttering, he only raised an eyebrow and quirked the smallest of smiles. "If you wouldn't mind, I would very much appreciate it if you could lead the way. Forgive me, I'm not quite familiar with the new classification system that's been implemented."

"Uh... Yeah, right this way. Follow me," you squeaked, stumbling out of your chair and scrambling to gather the last pieces of your dignity.

"Lead the way."

The sound of your heart hammering at your chest muffled out the sounds around you as you numbly led him through the library. You made a point to drive your heel into the floor a little heavier so that your footsteps were louder making it easier for him to follow you. After a few times doing it though, you realized you were only making a fool of yourself, and your footsteps just sounded overly crass and crude. You went back to walking as you normally did though your mind raced with doubt and worry.  

Is this okay? Can he follow me? How IS he following me? I can't believe it, only a few months into this job, and I've disgraced myself in front of the right hand man of the King. I guess I can get back to my desk to expect a pink slip and a request to move all of my stuff by tomorrow... I guess it was fun while it lasted? I hope I don't get fired, Astrals above, please don't let me get fired.

You were so lost in your thoughts, you had almost walked right past the section you were supposed to be leading him to in the first place. Stopping dead in your tracks, you back pedaled a step and a half before feeling yourself bump into the man behind you. You startled when you felt his arms come up to your waist make sure you didn't fall over. Oh great, like I needed to give them more reason to fire me. "Sorry, I uh.. miscounted the shelves.... Uh... So... We're here," you squeaked, pushing yourself away from him once you had found your balance.

"I'm impressed," he commented, running his hand against the corner of the shelf, trying to find some sort of defining feature to it so he could reference it again in the future.

"Huh?"

"You seem to know the location of everything in here. It's quite a large library. To have memorized so much in a short time, it's rather impressive."

"It's all I'm really good at," you explained with a shrug, leading him into the aisle to where the section started. "That and I mean, I did organize everything so it kind of comes with the job and all." You tried to sound nonchalant; however, it was rare that you received praise for your work. Coming from someone as high ranking as Ignis, it meant the whole world to you. You made note to keep his comment tucked away in the back of your mind for a time when you had doubts about yourself.

"And what would you suggest for reading? I'm sure there's a great number of titles that you could recommend."

He asked a question you could answer with confidence, and whatever apprehension you had felt previously was quickly shoved to the side when you were able to be in your element. "Well, for sure you'll want this one. It's brief, but pretty comprehensive. Got lots of good overall talking points and notes that you can take." You explained, handing him a rather slim book on the history and customs of the people of Eos. "Let's see... What else would work... This one's not bad. Oh, and this one too! Well, if you're going to read part one, might as well get parts two and three, right?" your babbling continued as you pulled book after book out of the shelves to place into his hands.

It wasn't long before Ignis had to clear his throat when you had pulled the seventh suggested book out from the shelves. "I think... this will do to start."

"Uh... Oh, right. Oh... by the Six, I'm so sorry. I made you carry all of these," you breathed, hurriedly snatching all the books from him. "I'll go and get these checked out for you, let me know if you need anything else?"

"No chance that there's an audio or braille edition I may be able to obtain at this time?"

You stopped dead, realizing you had shoved several books to this man with complete disregard of whether or not he would be able to actually make use of the materials you had provided him. Your mind raced, trying to figure out what could be done only to realize that there wasn't anything that was in your abilities to do so.

"The audio book database isn't fully operational yet... I... I'm still working on that... My main priority right now is getting everything archived. Accessibility isn't quite available at this time. I'm sorry," you explained, trying to retain some sort of professional tone, though your stuttering didn't make you sound very convincing.

"Ah, well, that's a shame. I look forward to the fruits of your hard labor. I've heard many praises about your diligent work. Your abilities are quite an asset to us. But for now, just the first book you suggested to me will be fine."

"But there's no audiobook available right now."

"I'll make do."

Reluctantly, you reshelved the additional books you had pulled and took the long walk of shame back to the front of the library to check out the book. "Since it's a loan within the building, there isn't a due date, but just make sure to bring it back in case someone else needs it," you explained, trying your best to keep the shaking out of your voice.

"I'll be sure that I make good use of my time with it," Ignis said, the smallest smile playing on his lips as he took the book from you and made his way out.

Once you could no longer hear his footsteps in the distance, you let out the breath you were holding before you hobbled back to your desk. You hadn't expected your legs to feel as weak as they did; but with the way everything had played out, you were left breathless and panicked at how much work you had left to do.

I'm only human. I can't do all of this on my own.

~~

Weeks passed since your fateful meeting with Ignis, and you blissfully fell back into your routine at work. You took breaks in between transcribing books and researching how to set up an audiobook database to help Ignis' cause. Knowing his position, he'd be back in the library more often after the event that was happening in the next few days. Where the rest of the castle was filled with hustle and chaos to get everything ready, you were granted reprieve seeing as your job was to be the guardian of a quiet sanctuary. Instead of having to rush around, you were happily in your own space preserving texts and being surrounded by what you loved.

Of course, the fates were cruel and loved to play with those who were content.

A soft tap on your desk jolted you away from your work, and you were greeted with Ignis and a rather intimidating stack of envelopes. "Ah, pardon the intrusion, but do you think you could assist me?"

You paused to quickly save your document on your computer and hastily shuffled your work to the side so that he could have room for whatever it was he needed to do. "Uh... Sure? What do I need to help you with?"

"So, as you know, there's an event in a few days."

"Well, you'd have to be living under a rock to not know about it."

"Correct, well, it's in our lack of foresight that we haven't provided our invited guests with any sort of thank you letter for taking the time to attend. It's to our luck that most of the letters have already been prepared; however, we haven't had a chance to address it to anyone. Unfortunately, that task has fallen onto me."

"You. They couldn't have found anyone better to do the job?"

"Unfortunately, in the rush to complete all of the things Noctis has planned, things are a bit hectic. I'm ashamed to admit that I had missed such an important detail."

You could hardly believe your ears when you heard that Ignis Scientia, the ever impeccable and immaculately calculated strategist to the King had overlooked something. Though, considering the circumstances, it was completely understandable that something could have been missed.

"Do you have a list of the guests? I'll be happy to address them for you."

"I do."

"Great, you can just leave the letters on my desk and I'll have them done by the end of the night."

He did as you had asked him to, placing the stack of envelops on your desk. However, he didn't make any additional moves to get back to the rest of his duties, nor did he present to you any sort of list. Instead, he shifted ever so slightly to pull a nearby chair to your desk. Sitting down in it, he placed his elbows on your desk and stared at you. Though you knew he couldn't see you, you could feel the weight of his gaze from behind the tinted glasses he wore.

"Uh... Sir I--"

"Ignis, will just be fine."

"Ignis... Uh... the list? Can I have it?"

"I have it right here," he said, a smile playing on his lips as his finger tapped at his head. "It's really not much use to me carrying around a scrap of paper I can't read."

You let out a nervous laugh, once again internally kicking yourself for being an idiot. Get it together, and act like a normal human. "Uh... so I guess where do we start?"

"Let's see, we should start with those who are arriving from Leide. I do believe several ambassadors of Gladin Quay will be making an attendance."

You nodded, picking up your pen and following his orders. He spoke with an easy cadence. Not too fast so that you had time to write down the names and territories that he named, but not too slow that it sounded like he was patronizing you. Though the stack of envelopes seemed intimidating at first, his voice was soothing and made time fly by between the two of you. Every now and then he'd add an interesting anecdote about the attendees which made the normally tedious task a bit more interesting.

"Hmm.. the last invited attendee would be the royal house of Frelia. They've announced that they will be sending their own crowned princes to the event."

You let out a low whistle at the mention of royalty. "Wow, all the way from Frelia? Magvel is rather far from here," you murmured while writing down the name of the house and the prince's name.

"Yes, but their support to us in the last ten years was integral in our survival. Take what you will from this, but the prince who is attending took to the battlefield himself and refused to surrender to Niflheim forces."  

"Hah, he's as they say. Frelian's don't know the meaning of surrender."

Ignis let out a low chuckle at your comment. "Indeed they don't," he concurred. "That is the last of the correspondences that we must address. I presume there aren't any blank letters left?."

"All of them are addressed and ready," you said, rearranging the stack neatly and handing the envelopes back to him.

"I appreciate your patience and understanding of my situation. I do apologize for having bothered you."

"It wasn't a bother at all. Though, now that you mention it... you could have asked anyone else in this whole building to do this and they would have dropped their work to help you. So why did you decide on me?"

A smile graced his lips as he leaned in closer to you and reached out to pat your head gently. "The reasoning is simple. The space you've made here is welcoming and quiet, I found it ideal for what I wanted to do." He paused to simply take a moment to stroke your hair. "But also, I don't think you realize how pleasant and welcoming your company is," he said before fluidly picking up the stack of envelops and making his leave.

"And you don't realize just how charismatic you are..." you whispered breathlessly after you watched him leave the library. For the rest of the day, you got little work done as you could not stop playing with your hair and being reminded of his small gesture of praise.

~~

Books were a solitary haven that you retreated to when the world was too chaotic. However, as long as you had lived, you never considered how comfortable sharing that safe haven could be.

Though you worked in the same building as your friend, your schedules and duties rarely allowed for you to have any meaningful time together. Being absorbed in your work as you were, you realized how difficult it was for you to really make acquaintances at your workplace. Most days you didn't see the sun; and when you did, it was through the heavily tinted glass of the tiny back room where you had first signed your life away to serve the Crown.

Since the tiny room was still reserved for storage after the renovations, it was rarely visited by anyone and was a perfect place for you to destress. The shelves were filled with paperwork that was almost never needed; and the tinted glass kept it cool, even during the summer months. Almost daily, you brought your lunch there to enjoy in the still quiet of the back room.

Loneliness didn't bother you considering you regularly engaged with people who passed by your desk to ask questions or make small talk. Quite frankly, you actually preferred to be left alone to your own devices most of the time. Lunch by yourself came as a welcome break away from people and a chance for you to read through a book you had been itching to get to ever since you had last shelved it. It was a pleasant, quiet hour to yourself that you appreciated and needed to make it through your day.

It was during one of those happy, quite lunch breaks when you were interrupted by someone who didn’t seem to care much about invading your personal space. You were too engrossed in your book to have noticed someone had come into your little sanctuary. You practically jumped out of your skin when you felt the gentle brush of someone's hand across your back while you were pouring over the book in front of you. You let out an offensively loud screech at the sudden touch and promptly fell out of your chair in your attempt to get away.

"I sincerely apologize if I had interrupted something. I didn't realize that there might be another person here."

"Ignis?"

"Yes. That would be my name."

You groaned slightly, getting up from the ground and dusting yourself off a bit. You let out an awkward cough and couldn't bare to look up at the man in front of you from sheer embarrassment. Considering your first meeting with him had started in a similar fashion, you wondered if he thought it was routine for you to scream at him any time he appeared. "Uh... Sorry... I didn't notice you coming in... Not that it matters because you know, it's a public space and all so you really didn't have to announce yourself coming in or anything so you know, it's okay if you just do that, i just didn't hear you and that's my fault for not no---"

"That's enough. As I said, I didn't expect anyone to be here."

"Oh... Okay. Yeah, sorry about that. So uh, did you need paperwork or something?"

"Actually, I was just coming here since I recalled it being a rather peaceful place for reflection. I suppose you thought the same?"

"Uh... Yeah. I'll leave now if you want to be alone. My lunch break's almost over anyways." You hurriedly started to pack up your belongings, which had thankfully stayed on the table from when you had gracelessly fallen out of your chair.

"You don't have to relocated on my account. I don't mind sharing the space," he said, casually leaning against the shelves.

Though you knew he couldn't see you, you could still feel his gaze and it made you uncomfortable to say the least. Any movement you made seemed to be under extreme scrutiny, and you wanted to do nothing more than to disappear at that moment so the tension between the two of you could also go away. "Sorry..." you mumbled.

"What for?"

"Uh...." Your excuses seemed futile and anything that came to mind only seemed childish to you. As such, anything of substance you could have said simply died at your lips and lingered in the room as a stagnant silence.

"I'll take your silence as meaning you don't have anything to really be apologetic for," he said, a hint of amusement and the barest trace of a smirk on his lips. "As I said, I don't mind sharing the space with you, that is, as long as you don't mind."

"No... not at all, make yourself at home."

You watched as he got acquainted with the space around him. His hands running along the shelves and his surroundings. He made a quick once over of the shelves, taking note of all the binders and stacks of paperwork there. He paused when his hands brushed over your half eaten lunch and the book that had been left there before he had come in.

"Lunch? Alone?"

"Most of the time..." you admitted with a small shrug.

"What's the book about?"

"Oh, it's not much. I was reshelving the Literature section the other day and just happened on some Folk poetry. I haven't had a chance to read a lot in a while so, I just kinda picked a book I haven't read and went at it. You know, acquaint myself with the goods that I curate, stuff like that.... That's a lie, It's just something to pass the time when I don't have anything to do at lunch."

"Would you mind?" he asked, handing the book to you.

"Huh?"

"Read it to me, the subject matter is rather intriguing and I'm not very familiar with it. I'd like to know more."

"I can get it on audiobook if you'd like," you offered, trying your best to avoid having to do what he asked of you.

"I'd like to think that your voice is much better suited to this than that dreadful automated voice."

"I'm really not the best person to ask to do this"

"I think I'm very capable of being the judge of whether or not you're adept at this. If you would be so kind to indulge me. You see, these eyes of mine aren't the best."

"I... I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing again when there isn't a reason to."

"I... I'm sorry, it's all I can really say."

He let out a low chuckle and pushed the book in your hand. "Read it for me? If you please?"

Whatever apologies you had come up with in your mind instantly vanished when the book was in your hands. You could still feel the warmth of the sun and his hands on the leather cover. "If... If you don't mind..." your voice came out as barely a whisper when you opened to the last page you remember being on. "Did you want to start from the beginning?"

"That would be nice," he said, leaning against the shelves again. "Please, make yourself comfortable as you read. Don't mind me. I've been sitting all day."

"Oh... Okay." You flipped back to the beginning of the book and started to recite the first piece of in the book.

For a bit, time stood still for the two of you in the tiny, cramped room. Filtered sunlight came through the windows, giving you just the right amount of light to read by. The syllables fell from your lips easily since you had read the words before. You could feel your cadence slipping every now and then when you struggled to pronounce something you were only familiar with in writing. Ignis didn't seem to mind whenever that happened though. He'd patiently wait for you to finish stumbling before giving you a small nod to continue.

It wasn't until you were several passages into a rather long and episodic series of poems that you realized how long you had been there. You mentally kicked yourself when you noticed how far the sun had fallen past its midday point. "I... I have to get back to work," you said, pushing the book back in his hands.

"What a shame. I was quite enjoying my time here. Perhaps, you could continue tomorrow?"

"I... Uh... Yeah... yeah. I can do that. I mean, if that's okay with you."

"I'm asking you to continue, why wouldn't it be okay with me?"

"Oh... right. I... I guess same place tomorrow?" you asked while you packed up your half eaten lunch and moved past him to get back to your desk.

"That would be ideal. Let's make it a regular thing," he suggested. "I rather enjoy your company. Your voice is rather soothing," he said, his rather composed and nonchalant demeanor at this whole arrangement to spend time with you made you rather flustered, to say the least.

"Yeah... sure. That... sounds fine," you mumbled, scurrying out of the door and back to your desk lest he could sense how much you were blushing. "I'll.. see you tomorrow then."

"I look forward to it."

You were definitively late coming back from your lunch break. However, you didn't mind that fact at all.

~~

Books on appreciating the help that surrounded you were tucked right in the back corner, half a shelf past where books on Geography were kept. Hidden there, whole novels about the time when you discovered a much deeper appreciation for the low timbre and measured cadence in Ignis' voice.

You stared incredulously at the new shipment of books that had been ordered specifically for Ignis' use. They had taken so long to come in that you had almost forgotten about them. By his request, they were to be shelved separately or brought to his personal study. It was strange to you for books to be so tactile. The Braille created constellations of words you couldn't understand, and that fact frustrated you. You were used to being able to comprehend the things that came to your possession.

There were no words for you to read. They were to be felt, and you couldn't understand any of it. Searching online for an alphabet, you struggled to learn the new language in order to get some semblance of organization done on the shelf that had been set up for Ignis. Three hours later, along with lots of frustrated crying, you were no where near close to deciphering the texts in front of you.

"Is something the matter?"

Of course, the one person who you didn't want to see appears to ask you if you were alright. Of course Ignis had to appear right as you were feeling completely useless to prod at your broken pride.

"Fine. Yeah. I'm fine," you muttered, sniffling and unceremoniously wiping your nose on your sleeve. "Just a head cold."

"A head cold causes you to cry at work?"

"...I--"

"You're a horrible liar."

"I know," you mumbled, hanging your head and twiddling your thumbs.

"Mind telling me what's got you so worked up then that you're in tears?" he asked.

"I don't... I can't... By the Six, this embarrassing. Just... Never mind," you grumbled, burying your head in your hands. "Forget it. Just, come back later. I'll figure something out."

"Figure what out?"

"Don't worry about it, it's my job."

"Well then, should I help?"

"What? No! Why? You're the reason why I'm in this position in the first place," you blurted out in sheer frustration, choosing to ignore the strange look he gave you. "I can't understand anything that your new books say. I can't organize anything, they all look the same to me, and anything I'm trying to find online doesn't give me enough information to figure out what I'm doing. I have no idea where the packing slip went because I didn't actually unpack everything and now I'm here with a whole shipment of books to organize and no way to organize them when my job is to organize. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

By the time you had finished your rant, you were out of breath and your ears were ringing. You hadn't realized how loud you were until the silence of the library returned, and the ringing in your ears became louder than your shallow breaths. Now that your tirade was over, your frustration had drained out of you; and you were left with the hollow feeling of dread when you realized you had just vented to the very person you were trying to help out.

There were several outcomes that you expected to come from him. He could turn away and let you continue to struggle with your task; he could tell you to get out and fire you on the spot; or he could simply sigh in disappointement at your childishness before telling you to get over yourself and get back to work. To your surprise, he did none of these things. Instead, he simply walked over to where you had the books scattered across your desk and picked one up.

He brushed his fingers across the cover to effortlessly read the symbols you had been struggling with and handed it to you after a brief moment. "Sacred Texts of Eos."

"Sacred texts...?" you repeated, taking the book from him and staring at the cover briefly before realizing what he was doing. "Got it," you said your mood instantly being lifted now that you had an idea of what was what. Scribbling down the information he had given you and hastily making a brief note on the back cover. "Next?"

"Preservation, Restoration, and Conservation of Antiquities," he stated, handing you another book and you repeated the process of notating the title and putting a note in the back cover for future reference.

"Uh huh. Next?"

"Toxicology and the Study of Poisons."

"Wow, you've got quite the variety subjects in your personal collection, Mr. Scientia..."

"It's always good to be prepared," he stated, handing you the book and raising an eyebrow. "One never knows when this kind of knowledge will be useful."

"Point taken," you said, noting the book and starting separate stacks for when you were ready to shelve everything.

The process continued until the chaotic pile you had fretted for hours over was converted to neat stacks and several pages worth of notes over the course of a few hours. You made quick mental notes of which books and piles would be shelved and which ones would later be delivered directly to Ignis' personal study.

"Last one?" you asked, looking up at Ignis and noticing that there weren't any more more books to be sorted on your desk.

"Last one,"  he confirmed, handing it to you.

"Title?"

"Folk Poetry and the Astrals."

You looked fondly at the cover of the book. Though the braille symbols meant nothing to you, it still reminded you of lunch breaks in a tiny storage room where you would read to Ignis for an hour when the world stood still.

"Had to get your own copy?"

"I will admit I am rather fond of the works that were collected for this anthology."

You let out a soft laugh and ran your fingers across the cover of the book as he had done. The raised symbols connected to nothing in your brain and again, you were overcome with a sense of frustration. "How do you do it..." you murmured, caressing the braille over and over again, trying to will some sort of divine knowledge to come and let you understand what it was that you were feeling.

"Do what?"

"Understand all of this... It makes no sense to me, and you're standing there, casually just reading things off."

"Years of practice helps."

"I can imagine," you murmured. "Hey... sorry about earlier... I yelled at you for no reason."

Ignis let out a low chuckle and gently patted you on the head. "Again, you apologize for something that doesn't need an apology. I felt similarly when I first learned as well. It's admirable that you attempted what you did on your own."

"I got frustrated after a couple of hours, I can't imagine how you felt."

"I was lucky that I had people around me that supported me despite my short comings."

You quietly nodded, looked at the book in your hands and rubbed the cover trying to connect the dots from what he had read to what was on the cover.  "Hey, how are you supposed to read this? I can barely make heads or tails of it," you said, flipping through the pages of the book in your hand and marveling at how it had the same contents as the book you had been reading with him during your lunch breaks but with none of the symbols you were used to.

"Here, let me show you," he said, stepping forward pulling you close against him while reaching out and taking your hand into his. He curled his fingers around yours, leaving only your pointer finger and his out. Running along the top of the page, your fingers brushed against the raised symbols and his soothing voice read out their meaning to you.

"So, you already know the title," he explained softly into your ear; and you tried your best to keep from blushing, though the scent of leather and expensive cologne made it very difficult. "Here, begins the tale of creation of the world we know and the lives we live..."

Through his gentle guidance, you started to see the world as clearly as he felt it through his fingertips.

~~

As colder weather swept in, the thick walls of the Citadel offered much warmth and protection from the snow and wind. Colder weather also meant that many of the newer recruits were unable to train outside. For you, this meant you spent much less time on archival work and more time running around scolding young recruits getting frisky in the back corners of your library instead of studying for the written tests Cor had advised them of. As days grew shorter, the hours you worked at the library became longer. A few recruits had actually diligently wanted to study, and you couldn't turn down their pleas to keep the place open as they crammed as much information as possible before their exams.

You had expected the late hours with students and the rookie Crownsguard; surprisingly, out of all the people who stayed the late, it was the Royal Advisor himself who stayed the latest. How Ignis remained conscious no matter what time of the day it was was beyond you. Often, he would stay much later past midnight while you would struggle to keep your eyes open for any book, no matter how intriguing the subject matter.

After a week of waiting on him to finish, you figured you should at least help him be comfortable during the long night hours. Though the Citadel kept out the worst of the cold winds, there were times when even the warmest parts of the castle became drafty and chilled. Though it was late, you didn’t see the harm in offering a hot cup of Ebony to keep him warm.

"You're working yourself to death," you murmured, placing the steaming cup of coffee in front of him. "It's not very becoming of the Royal Advisor to be dead."

He let out a low chuckle and graciously accepted the cup from you. When his fingers brushed against yours, you wondered if it was your imagination that made it feel like his fingers lingered on yours for a second longer than what was normal. "It's not my intention to die here. I've survived much worse."

"Could have fooled me. What are you doing here at this hour?"

"Just going over the list of houses that will be attending the next gathering in a few months. I'd like to make sure Noctis has an idea of who's who before he makes a fool of himself."

"Well, wouldn't that be a sight," you said, giggling slightly. You reached for the stack of papers he had been going over while he sipped at the coffee. "I'm assuming there's a different list of guests this time?"

"Many of the same guests as last time, though with a rising interest in trade with Insomnia, it's brought in a few more requests for invitations."

"I see..." you murmured, glancing through the list and letting out a low whistle after your brain had pieced together most of what the braille on the page read. You had spent many hours since Ignis had first taught you the basics of reading the symbols to understand it better. In your determination to understand him better, you had spent more hours than you cared to admit in becoming fluent in reading texts as he did. “I didn't think half of these territories were even thinking about trading and commerce between us. I mean, you've even got guests from the Kilvas nation? How long ago did they stop trade?"

"Their borders have been closed much longer than we've been alive. Thanks to Noctis' accomplishments, we've been rather blessed with the recent interest in interaction from other countries that have long been closed off."

"Yeah, but that also means that they've been overworking you, huh?"  

"I wouldn't call it overworking. I simply have more responsibilities than usual. It'll die down once this gathering is over and done with."

You raised a curious eyebrow at how nonchalant he was about having little to no sleep for the last few weeks. Having seen the sun rise a few times on occasion, you knew exactly how much rest he wasn't getting. "Ignis, if you're not running around telling people what needs to be done, you're in here until I have to force you to get out. Do you even know what sleep is?"

Instead of answering your question, he simply turned towards your direction to cast a gaze at you while taking a long sip of his drink. Realizing you weren't going to actually get an answer, you let out an exasperated sigh and idly flipped through the guest list again. He hid his fatigue well, but you could see how strained his shoulders were from long hours of going through papers. You let the silence between the two of you pass, hoping that having the papers in your hands gave him some time to relax.

"How'd you know?"

"Hm? Know what?" you asked looking up from the pages in your hands.

"Exactly how I like my coffee?"

"Ebony has a very distinct smell, you know," you said with a soft laugh. "Also, your love of it isn't very much a secret."

"Well, I suppose that much is true," he commented before going back for another sip. "What are you doing here at this hour? I figured most people would have gone home by now."

"I always have work to do," you said with a shrug and a soft laugh. "I just usually like to wait for you to leave so I don't accidentally lock you in here alone."

"Your shift should have ended hours ago."

"Oh I know, I already clocked out. I was just doing some extra work on the side and some reading. It's not a big deal."

"I shouldn't have kept you waiting for so long then," he said, promptly gathering up all his things. "I was actually waiting for you to finish your work. I didn't realize that I had kept you waiting on me."

You stood there, completely bewildered that he would think about waiting for you. The fact that you were waiting for him in return made the whole situation just that much more absurd in your mind. At the hour it was, you could barely keep your eyes open; and you sorely wished you had made a cup of Ebony for yourself. Though, considering you were planning on doing nothing but sleep once you got home, perhaps it was in your best interest to not have that much caffeine in you.

"Are you ready to go?" Ignis asked, his voice snapping you out of your stupor.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. In a bit. Let me go and get my stuff and lock up," you said, darting away to gather your things and make a quick once around the library to make sure you weren't going to lock anyone in while you were gone. You had half expected Ignis to have already left by the time you came back; however, he was still waiting there for you as you came up to him, panting from running around so much. "Okay, ready now," you breathed, trying to catch your breath.

"You didn't have to rush."

"But it's already late and I'm sure you'd like to get some sleep before having to wake his highness up when the sun comes up for his royal breakfast."

He let out a genuine laugh at your comment and you sorely wished you had some way to bottle the sound and keep it with you. "Perhaps I'll let him sleep in for the day. I'm sure he wouldn't mind that. Shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards the door.

"Absolutely. I can't wait to get to get home and sleep."

"Allow me to make sure you're able to get safely home then," he offered.

"Ignis, I'm locking this place up so that you can get some sleep. I'll be fine on the walk ho---me," stifling your yawn was neigh impossible, try as you might.

"Your yawn tells me otherwise. Please, I'll be fine. Consider it thanks for the Ebony."

"How can I argue against you?" you said with an exhausted sigh and a shrug while you bundled up in your winter coat.

"You don't," he simply stated before taking the lead and heading out.

Your breaths rose in small clouds as he walked next to you. You couldn't help stealing quick glances over towards him and admiring how soft his features looked against the lights of the night. Though he was essentially following you, it still felt as though he knew exactly where he was going. He walked with a purpose and an innate grace that you could only hope to attain one day. Every now and then, as your arm swung back and forth in time with your steps, your hand would brush against his and you'd feel a blush creep across your cheeks. You couldn't tell if it was purely coincidence or if he was doing it intentionally to keep track of where you were.

You realized he was doing it on purpose when his fingers brushed against your hand more frequently, and his touch lingered. As much as you wanted to ignore how fast your heart was beating and how heated your face felt even against the cold weather, there was no denying that his little actions had an effect on you. Eventually, you gathered up what courage you had at that hour and held onto his hand the next time it passed by your own.

Ignis stiffened for the briefest moment before you felt his hand relax into yours, and his posture shifted slightly. It was pleasant to listen to the stillness that surrounded you. As late as it was, and as little sleep as you knew you were going to get, you couldn't help but take the long way back so that you could relish in the warmth of his hand while the cold winter air chilled your lungs. He didn't seem to mind though, every time you glanced up at him, you noticed the slightest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Hey, are you going to be okay getting back to your place?" you asked once you got home and realized that you had possibly led him to a part of town that he wasn't familiar with.

"I'll manage. I'm rather familiar with these streets," he reassured you with a gentle squeeze of his hand. "Though, with how long it took for us to reach your home, I was starting to wonder if you had gotten lost."

"I... I'm sorry..."  you mumbled, moving to unlock your hand from his, though his hold on you remained steadfast.

"What have I told you about apologizing?" he chided.

"But--"

"Enough. It's too early in the day for one of your speeches," he said, quelling any nervous tirades that you might spiral into. "Just tell me, what does the sunrise look like today?"

You glanced past his shoulder to notice the pale blush of dawn cresting over the buildings and casting its warm glow into the fading night sky. Birds began their song in the distance, and the quiet hum of city life began to stir as people started their days. With his back against the peaceful backdrop of the rising sun, Ignis seemed to glow, and even the harsh scars on his face softened in the rosy light.

"It's absolutely stunning," you whispered, gently squeezing his hand as you watched your breath drift upwards in the winter air to mingle with the disappearing stars.

~~

You made it a point to attend as few of the balls and events that the Citadel hosted as possible. Mingling with strangers in fancy attire and making small talk was not something you particularly cared for; however, thanks to much pestering from your friend, you eventually caved and agreed to go.

It was strange, walking around in the Citadel and not being on duty in your library. You had been asked to lock it up to prevent any amorous couples from rendezvousing in its corners. For that, you were grateful since your workspace would be safe from the aftermath of the event. The event itself, however, was not something you had come mentally prepared for.

Dressed to the nines in what formal wear you owned and wearing borrowed accessories, you couldn't help but wish that you were allowed to wear your uniform. At least then you could pass yourself off as being on duty and not feel like the event was made for people much higher on the social ladder than you were. Your friend was quickly whisked away from you by some other obligations which left you alone to fend for yourself in a sea of people you weren't familiar with.

It didn't take long for you to feel overwhelmed by your surroundings. It was hard to keep track of who you were talking to and what they were talking about. The faces that passed started to look too familiar as you were force to socialize with more people. Before long, the sounds and their voices echoed in your head too loudly for you to concentrate. Your heart raced as it tried to find a way out of the situation. All instincts screamed at you to run even if you weren't in any immediate danger.

You frantically looked around for someone familiar, anyone to possibly ground you from what felt like your mind leaving your body and ascending to some other plane of existence while also being extremely aware of how loud and bright everything was. I need to leave.

In your panicked state, you pushed yourself through the crowds of people, keeping your eyes focused on the ground in front of you to avoid having to interact anymore. You sought the only place that you knew would be quiet that night. You let out a blissful sigh of relief when you slipped past the heavy doors and into the dark room. It took a while for your eyes to adjust, but you were able to make your way to the back room where you were least likely to be found.

Once there, you curled up into the corner of the room and let yourself cry like you had wanted to since the night began. The stress of being around people, around all the bright lights and the formalities had worn you down much quicker than you had expected. You had realized after being at the gathering for less than ten minutes that you didn't belong at an event like this. The yearning to leave had built itself up and culminated until it felt like it consumed you. In the dark, you were safe; and when you couldn't take anymore, you allowed yourself to break down in the safety of the tiny storage room.

You let your mind wander as you cried, wondering about the what if's of your life: if you hadn't gone to the event, if you had simply never said anything about liking to organize, if you actually had any sort of place in a castle filled with important ambassadors and emissaries that you embarrassed yourself in front of. You spiraled out of control, and only made the void of negative voices grow in your mind. At that point, you weren't quite sure why you were even upset in the first place. All you knew was that you felt weak, incompetent, insignificant and you would remain that way for the rest of your life.

"Are you alright?"

You jumped slightly in mid sob, looking up from where you were, and squinted through your tears to see who had found your hiding place. You could barely make out the outline of a person in the dark; however, Ignis' voice was unmistakeable. How he seemed to always find you when you were the most vulnerable, you didn't know. What was even more incredible was the fact that he was willing to still be in your presence even if you weren't at your best.

"F-Fine," you mumbled, though your voice cracked from all the crying you had done, and you were doing a poor job of hiding your hiccups.

"You don't sound like it."

"I-I'll be fine," you tried to sound reassuring though the hiccups that followed did not help your case.

"You've been crying here for the last fifteen minutes, I highly doubt that you're fine as you say you are."

"H-how long have you been here?"

"Long enough. Come, take a walk with me," he said, offering his hand to you. You shouldn't have been surprised that he moved easily in the dark, but it was still impressive to you how he was able to navigate to you without making much noise or knocking into anything.

"Huh?"

"Take a walk with me," he repeated. "The gardens are right there, and I think some fresh air will do you some good."

You weren't one to accept help from others when you were in that kind of mood; however, you were willing to do anything to get out of the dreadful headspace you were in. Wiping your tears on the back of your sleeve, you accepted his warm hand and followed him as he expertly maneuvered through the hallways to the door that leads out to the garden.

For the months that you had worked at the library, you had never once considered strolling through the gardens during your free time. You had a perfect view of it from the tiny back room and didn't think once to explore the grounds a little more than your peaceful corner. Now though, gently being led through the paths by Ignis' hand, you let your mind calm itself down from the strange place your mind had placed itself in.

Your footsteps crunched on the gravel in time with his as you let the stillness of the garden seep into your body and slowly bring yourself down from the high that your anxiety had given you. It was quiet between the two of you, but it was comfortable. The moon illuminated the pathways just enough for your eyes to see clearly but not be overwhelmed by light.

"Tell me, what's it like?"

"Huh?"

"The garden, what's in bloom right now?"

"Ah... The orchids are," you murmured, tugging at his hand and pausing to admire them. "They're happy right now, it's not too cold for them. The sun was out today but the trees here give them enough shade so they don't feel like they're going to wilt when it gets hot."

"Is that so? I'm glad they're doing well. What else is there?"

"The lilies at the pond are in bloom too."

"They are? Ah, that's a pleasant surprise. I never got a chance to see them in bloom before. They must be beautiful."

Your breath caught a bit at the back of your throat when you noticed the slightly wistful tone in his voice. "Y-yeah... they are. I'm sorry."

"There you go again, apologizing for things that aren't your fault."

"I--"

"Just walk with me for a bit longer. I don't get the chance to stroll here and enjoy the ambiance it brings. I do hope that the reconstruction has brought most of it back to the way it was before."

"I think so? I haven't compared any before and after pictures. I heard they rebuilt some of the barriers, but left some of the others so that the plants can mingle a bit more. I think I overheard someone say that the head gardener decided to plant more orchids this year to bring color to the grounds. It's like they're blooming with all their might now that they can see the sun again."

"What colors are there?"

"There are so many, Ignis. There are whites paler than fresh snow and pinks as light as dawn. They've put in all sorts of red ones too. They go from being bright to dark, the color getting richer and richer until the darkest ones are like fine wine held up to a light. There are others too down the path that show off their colors even in the moonlight."  

"They must be a marvel to look at,” he commented, continuing to walk at a leisurely pace so that you could admire more than just the orchids. "Which flowers here do you like best?"

Of all the alluring orchids and elegant lilies you had passed, none of them caught your eyes as much as the wild brush of camellias in full bloom. You smiled, taking in their scent and gently pulling Ignis by the hand to the brush.

"This one," you said when you finally got close enough to the flowers and came to a stop to admire them up close. Under the moonlight, they glowed brilliantly white with the barest trace of green at the inner corners of their petals. Standing on tiptoe, you reached out to pluck a bloom and placed it gently in his hand.

"And why this one in particular?" he asked while his thumb traced the soft petals and curves of the flower in his palm.

"It reminds me of your eyes..." you explained with a soft giggle, taking the flower from his hand and reaching upwards to tuck it behind his ear. "It's a perfect match," you said with a grin, hoping he could feel just how much better you felt in your voice.

"I take it that you're feeling better?"

"Much better," you affirmed, smiling your hardest and wishing he could feel how peaceful you were with him.

"Good."

In that moment, as the moonlight hit his face while he smiled at you, you could have sworn that even angels would have been put to shame at the beautiful sight before you.

~~

As hectic as your world was, you always found time to browse the Literature section that was tucked into the top most floor of the Citadel Library. There was always something there that you hadn't read before. Often times though, you found yourself going back to an old leather bound book filled with folk poetry that smelled of moonlight and expensive cologne.

A little more than year had passed since the sun had risen again. The world settled, and so did you and your routine. Though you still stayed late on occasion, your life had become rather regulated. No longer did you have to worry about any insane deadlines, nor did you have to fret over a new book order for Ignis. As boring as normal was, you were grateful for it. It took a year for you to finally fall into a normal routine; and honestly, you wouldn't trade it for much.

Part of the normal life you lived were the visits from Ignis. He had become a rather regular visitor of yours, and you welcomed his company. Considering he had seen you through the worst of your moods, he had become a close confidant and friend. For the year that you had known him, he had gone from the intimidating Royal Advisor to becoming someone precious and dear to your heart. You were grateful for so much, and seeing him patiently waiting for you to open the library with a pair of coffee cups in his hands reminded you how much you were thankful for.

"What are you doing here at this hour?" you asked, accepting the warm cup from him and grinning like a fool when you felt his fingers brush lightly against your own.

"Ah, there was an early hearing of local grievances. I've brought the recorded audio for archiving. Noctis has asked for a transcript as soon as possible," he explained while you fumbled with the key to unlock the library door.

"I should have everything done by the afternoon," you said, pushing the door open and letting him in before you. "Still, that doesn't explain why you're here. You could have easily gotten someone else to do the errand running for you."

He shrugged and walked with you over to your desk. "I offer you coffee and you question my motives?"

"It's not often that the Royal Advisor has free time in the morning to get coffee for a friend," you quipped, taking a grateful sip of the bitter brew and humming in approval. You had expected Ebony, but you were pleasantly surprised to find that your drink had been made just the way you liked it. "How'd you know?"

"Know what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, though with the smirk that played on his lips, he knew exactly what you were going to ask.

"Exactly how I like my coffee?"

He gave you a low chuckle. "I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"We have, but you didn't answer my question."

"Ah, well, I have my sources."

"I'm going to have to thank her later," you murmured before taking another sip of your coffee and setting your desk up for the day.

"Well, I have to admit, it's a strangely specific order you have."

"What can I say, I like numbers," you said with a shrug.

"I'm failing to see how a cup of coffee with three sugar cubes and one portion of creamer stirred four times and four times only has to do with your love of numbers."

You smiled when you heard him recite your order. The way you preferred your coffee had been a habit you had fallen into for good luck. You had repeated those numbers over and over on a daily basis to cement your feelings for the very person who had given you your most recent cup. You never realized how beautiful and colorful your world would turn when you heard the numbers fall from his lips in the order that explained your everlasting adoration and love for the man before you.

"Then I suppose you'll have to simply look for a book that explains it," you said with a soft smile.

"And where might I find that section?"

"Hmmm," you leaned against your desk and sipped your coffee thoughtfully, "I'd suggest the topmost floor, three aisles past the furthest staircase on the left. Somewhere in that area."

"It's not like you to be vague about the location of books."

You shrugged. "It's early, I can't say I'm fully functional yet, I'm allowed to be vague when I just got here."

Ignis let out a soft laugh at your comment, and you relished in the sound echoing throughout the empty library in the early morning. As the sunlight peeked through the windows and shone through his tinted glasses, you did everything you could to memorize the warm moments like this that you were able to share with him. It only drove home how much he meant to you, and you so sorely wished he could see how beautiful the world was after all he had sacrificed.

"Thank you," you murmured lovingly after the last of his laughter had died down.

"For what?"

"For telling me to stop saying 'I'm sorry' so much. I should be thanking you instead for being there for me and helping me break the habit."

He smiled warmly and regarded you with a steady gaze, "I've waited a long time for you to say that."

"Then I'll say it again. Thank you. I'll say over and over until you're tired of it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for so much. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he whispered, leaning over and tilting your chin up towards him so that he could brush his lips against yours. Any other words you saved up to tell him could wait until later. It was much too early for one of your rambling speeches after all.

-Fin-

[seenashwrite]

Hey! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I'm about to post a one shot, as I was wondering what I put st the top other then how many words and such? I'm just beginning to actually post stories and I want to get things right haha. Sorry if I'm disturbing you or anything!

Oh lovely @spookyphsyco - you have come to the right type-A advice-giver. And you have graciously made this about me, so that I don’t have to. [wink]

Legit apologias if any of what’s below the cut seems patronizing. I’ve tried to inject snark to make it an easier read. I also say sh*t, possibly other blah-blah of a potty-mouthed nature. 

Short version:

Status: Word Count: Category: Rating: Character(s): Pairing(s):Warnings: Author’s Note(s):Overall Summary:

Essentially I put what I like to see, with ever-so-slight, atypical tweaks. Long version/breakdown is after the jump. The ones with stars I think should be exactly where I put them, with the others shuffled however you’d prefer.

* Status:

Complete 

Part ___ of ____

for multi-parts (a.k.a., a mini-series) 

IMO, the ones around 2 or 3 parts; for me, it’s treading on “series” territory after 3

I just stick a ____ after “of” til I’m sure about how many parts

In-Progress 

could stick this after “part __ of ___” thought I find that redundant - this is definitely to be used for series, and which part you’re on should’ve already been noted above, a la “Title: Part __”  

* Word Count:  

I just round up the decimal point if it’s close to/over halfway to the next number, so…. 3,422 could be ”3.4K” or “3.5K”, whatever you like

If you put 3,422 it scares the shit out of people, even though that’ll maybe take 15 minutes to read. Maybe.

* Category: 

A.K.A. - what’s the genre?

The top ones you’ll see are “angst”, “fluff”, “smut”, “crack”, “real person fic/RP/RPF” - confusingly, I also see RPF = “role play fic - advise just type out “real person” and “role play”

I also see “series”, which, whatever - I’d prefer knowing that right off the bat at a glance, hence “status”, that’s up to your pref  

I mostly see Category kick off with either that, or something indicating what’s to come in terms of the life expectancy of your story line, followed with the above genres

Others by life expectancy would/could include:

drabble

imagine

request/”ask”

head canon

Side note: “cannon” = big boom, artillery-style; “canon” is short for canonical, a.k.a. - the official last word on fill-in-the-blank, so for us - the scripts/what we see on the show, Kripke, the writers, the actors, etc.

multi-part

one-shot

alternate universe/AU (which could branch into “AU: Historical”, “AU: Fantasy, “AU: Science Fiction”, etc.)

cross-over

Now, if it’s a cross-over that I want to be a surprise? I don’t mention the title of the movie/book/show If it doesn’t matter? Stick it in the Category (so “Crossover: Brooklyn 99″) plus it’ll also be made clear via the Character(s) category by listing them after the SPN peeps & before the O.C.

I personally don’t use those main five (see above, RE: anal-retentive stubborn mule) as they are too vague for my taste. 

When peeps pass my stuff along or in the rare instances they put me on a rec list, I couldn’t care less when they whip me under one of those or tag it as such, because that’s common parlance that I’m willfully eschewing. I sleep just fine on my fanfic pillow at night.

I use words like “behind-the-scenes canon-compliant”, “mystery”, “introspective”, “melancholia”, “friends-maybe-more”, “family”, “canon-compliant”, “friendship”, “adventure”, “humor”, “parody”, “spoof” - all [IMO] give a clearer idea without spoiling the plot

Special Nash Note regarding a specific pet peeve of mine that you can certainly take or leave, I won’t adore you any less:

Regarding Real Person Fic - the authors who disclaimer the tar out of these Wear. Me. Out. Just own it if you’re gonna do it, no caveats. I more-than-snark/borderline ranted about this here - surprisingly succinctly - should you want to see why

Take home: I find being really specific in your category helps keep your warnings/author’s notes blessedly tight & trimmed, more on that below. 

Rating: 

On this, I essentially use what I see around town, which is “Any”, “Teen & Up” and “18+” - or variations on this.

Nine outta ten, I’m going with “Teen & Up”, because I most always have dense, meaty plots or dry humor that require a fairly well-read person - I’m not being an asshole, it’s for their benefit. They’ll find it boring and/or too complex, it’s not their fault, they just haven’t had enough years on the planet to knock out a lot of books, y’know? 

Character(s): 

I list the not-mines first, and shut it down after maybe three or four, then cap it off with O.C. mention(s)

Sometimes I’ll do a parenthetical - like “Castiel (mentioned)” or “Crowley (briefly)” - because some people hate certain characters but love you or love the plot in general, so if they know someone they don’t like is only gonna be there vaguely, they’ll likely still give it a go

If there’s more - the minor not-yours or minor O.C.s - just put “various” at the end & and move on 

Also nice on multi-parters/series for you to only list the characters that appear in that specific post

I phrase the primary O.C.(s) like: “Female O.C./Reader/You”, something of that ilk.

Negates the need for “Reader Insert” in the categorization, because… well, it’s not how books are arranged online or in stores or in libraries. Perspectives [1st/2nd/3rd] are just that - perspectives - they aren’t genres.

Pairing(s): 

N/A if none, of course

This is one I am completely leaving up to you.

Having said that - dig through other folks’, see what tickles your fancy.

If you dig through mine - I think one I straight up said “Sam x Reader/Female O.C.” because it was an Ask, so the end result was pretty much out there, and on another I put something cheeky like “Endings are better when you don’t know what’s coming.”

And really, aren’t they?  Lookit, I figure if back on your Master Page/Master Post, you’re gonna end up categorizing them by “Angst” with sub-cats a la “Dean x Reader”, etc., may as well blow your wad from the get-go. 

Also remember this is coming from someone who keeps their O.C.s as vague as possible, so that anyone can imagine themselves in the character’s shoes. That’s for reader satisfaction. 

The selfish reason is because I want “Y/N” to die in a horrific fire where it is alive for >65% of the charring. It is so distracting. I’ve now digressed, tangent-style.

Warnings: 

Writing detailed canon? Or an AU that’s cribbing on canon? Whip a little “Spoilers up to Season _″ or what-have-you right out of the gate. 

Otherwise…. okay, biggest over-arching tip:

Things either ARE or they ARE NOT - refrain from going down a huge explanatory road here, a la “Could be considered this, but also could be looked at as that, and there’s sometimes….”

Oh. Sweet. Lord. Bring the chariots & take me now.

There’s a word for this, and it is “dubious”.  

So: “dubious non-consensual situation(s)”; “dubious incestual situation(s)”; etc. 

It’s the formal way of saying “YMMV”, a.k.a. “Your Mileage May Vary”.  I am likely not going to read into the threat of fill-in-the-blank if I’ve not experienced fill-in-the-blank. That’s why it is an “in the eye of the beholder” sort of jam - it’s open to interpretation….

…..but you gotta make sure it is - if Dean and Sam kiss each other with tongue, even once? That is incest. Not dubious. Nope. 

If there’s stuff possibly of concern that you’re not balls-out detailing, the tidy word for that is “allusion”. 

So: “allusion to past sexual trauma”; “allusion to past physical assault”; “allusion to sexual encounters”,etc.

On that last one: again, meaning off-handed comments about rolls-in-the-hay, not anything specific with vivid detailing.

Might want to tack “eventual” in front of these in certain circumstances - more on that in a sec. 

(PS: Writing tip? Shit in the past that made the characters who they are? Leave it there. Allude to it. Unless it is actually happening, no one caaaaaares - we only care about any ripple effects potentially impacting the current story.)

Language - again, things either ARE or they ARE NOT. 

I don’t care if it’s twice or every-other-piece-of-dialogue, or only in a couple of chapters - “mature language” or “coarse language”. Boom. You’re done. Covers cursing and dirty talk and the lot.

Sexy Times - yeah, it may say “smut” under your category/genre, but it doesn’t hurt to toss a clarification or two  

Some folks consider smut “he touched me here” and some folks don’t consider it smut til “he ran his tongue here”. 

I’d go with “graphic sex” or “explicit sex” if you have any wavering on the issue of what to put. But, again: it either is, or it isn’t - if it’s not allusion, then it’s graphic/explicit

Some folks tack on really, really, really specific facets here, where I think a parenthetical would do, and one that covers a gamut, so:

Graphic Sex (anal) this covers digital penetration & toys

Graphic Sex (multiple partners) this covers three-ways and four-ways and… and…. and….

Graphic Sex (kinks) this covers role-playing and toys and voyeurism and… and… and…

Side note: I have noticed that dog-in-heat genre - A/B/O, right? - is listed separately from kinks. Not my jam, so ya got me, I ain’t your gal to consult on this area

I’m not going on - you catch my drift. People who list every type of toy and kink baffle me. Cover the spread, move on, you can always put an asterisk and stick it below the “read more” to be as specific as you like. 

I say this because if a person’s not into “toys” in general? Why on earth would they read on after that warning above.  Also plays into my whole “stories are often better when you don’t know the end” stance. Because they are, dagnabbit. 

Some folks tack on “unprotected sex”, and fine, okay. Would suggest that if you want to add on some sort of advisement of “don’t do that”, “glove up”, “be safe” and what not, you whip an asterisk on there - “unprotected sex*” - and stick it in an Author’s Note post-story, more on those in a sec.

Violence - go with “graphic violence” and “mild-to-moderate violence”

The latter implies TV-level gore/horror, and the former implies movie/cable TV-level. 

If you want, you could quantify it that way - like “show-level violence” or “movie-level violence” (if doing Avengers or Star Trek or whatnot)

Side note: if you’re going for no-holds-barred, Ash Vs. Evil Dead-level action?  Go on & stick “horror” in your category/genre, methinks

Character Death / Major Character Death  

I have never understood this as a warning, seek advisement from someone else on this point. Legit.

That is a major plot point. Why in this world people would want to spoil themselves on major plot points is beyond me. 

Besides, can we stop treating readers like infants? You’ve given an age range/rating. You’ve said there’s violence. You’ve categorized it as angst (or “sorrow” or “mourning” or WHATEVER) and that paints the picture for me, an over-18 adult, one who has heeded the violence and sorrow alerts and has chosen to proceed. YMMV. Nash don’t get it. I’ve gone all tangent-y again. 

Warnings, Part Two - Stories With Two Or More Parts:

So let’s say there’s a kidnap-and-ransom that involves the villain making a threat of raping the captive. But it happens in Chapter Five. 

That “allusion to non-consensual situation” is, of course, told to the reader up front, and here’s the times when you may wanna tack “eventual” on it. 

Then have an “Additional Warnings” or “Chapter Warnings” section on just this chapter post. They chose to read the thing after seeing that broad warning, I know, but it’s still nice to warn them so they aren’t reading it on lunch break at the office or something.

Side note: when doing multi-parters/series, just copy/paste all this stuff on top of each post, then tuck this “extra” note below the overall warning items

Author’s Note(s):   

N/A 

Use this liberally. There should not be a ton to say after you’ve done all that’s above.

The exception here - as in, a “regular appearance” kind of Author’s Note since it doesn’t really fit anywhere else, is an acknowledgment of any editor(s) who may have assisted.

Another to file under “common parlance” - they are called “Beta(s)”/”Beta Reader(s)” around here, even though technically a beta would be someone who’d be your first reader of the final product, post-edit, and pre-publish. [shrugs]

Advise you not wax poetic on their awesomeness - takes up too much space - do your gushing privately, no one cares about your excited feels for that person [sorry-not-sorry] 

Plus it’s kind’ve bizarre - for me, at least - to see effusive praise heaped upon an editor should I read on and find myriad mistakes I’d naturally assume they missed, which brings me to an example of another unneeded note….

…the one post-beta acknowledgment that goes “…so any mistakes below are all mine”.  ????  What, so you had ‘em do all that for you, followed by ignoring the errors they pointed out? Error’s an error. I suspect they mean not altering verbiage or flow or a suggestion of that ilk, but still. Just acknowledge them by their “@” and move on. I digressed.

Regarding challenges - and this is a “Nash Thing” - I advise you don’t put the challenge info here, above the story. 

All it does it lengthen your top note and keep people from the story once they’ve decided to read. I actually went back & re-formatted for this on a lot of my stuff because it made the top part way too long. 

I suggest you put “Author’s Note(s):Post-Story” and lay it out there - the challenge name, whose challenge it is and the prompt. Why?

If you tell readers the prompt - and another “Nash Thing” is that I don’t bold mine - they will subconsciously be on the lookout for it, which takes away the point of the challenge - to seamlessly integrate a random thing

Other “post-story” can be any inspiration you may’ve used - like songs or the details on a cross-over piece. 

For cross-overs, this is a nice place to do a little “Various characters/settings used, verbiage style and minor plot points inspired by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. 

Plus, you can put links to vid clips or pics of the cast or links to the song or c&p lyrics of the song - whatever. Point is, it doesn’t take up story space so readers can pass it by if they so choose

* Overall Summary: 

My preference is that this is the last thing I see before I start the story, because I’ve seen all the details above, I’m almost sold, and this is what’s going to get me to scroll. Well, initially. First-scroll page-closers are another topic. 

“idk, i’m not good at these/i suck at these/omg these are so hard/i can’t really say”   –  No, no, no, you said plenty. You just told me you write garbage & that I shouldn’t waste my time.

Sometimes these will be a handful of sentences, and I’ve found that when I’m being cheeky on a parody/humorous story, that’s when they tend to be longer - mainly because I’m really trying to drive home that this is not merely “fluff” or “crack”. It’s what I said it was in “Category” - it’s “humor” and/or “parody”. 

Normally: one-to-two short-ish sentences or three quick sentences. 

No really. 

No, really. I don’t care how long the story is. 

Now, the novel-length ones? Maaaaybe a quickie paragraph of, say,4-to-5 brief - BRIEF - sentences for the umbrella. Then - like we were talking about with the chapter specific warnings? - you can delete the “overall” summary or tack on underneath a sentence about the chapter below IF something pertinent should be noted/you’d want to know it if you were the reader.

Am I an asshole if I put examples of mine? Eh. Here you go, and I stuck an example of an atypical A/N below, as well as what my longest looks like. The Mobile Master has pretty much the same descriptors as the story post itself, but none of the rest of this stuff - if the summation grabs ‘em, then they’ll click through for more of the scoop.

A Delicate Desiccation - they’re told about melancholy, but my stories had been out for awhile, so I *did* pop an atypical A/N (because it wasn’t really a warning, per se) on there to tell the regulars that this was a darker piece than they’d be used to; if I told more than I did in that summary - and shit, I give a big ass breadcrumb via the title card, not to mention the wording of the summary - it would wreck the ending.

Top of the World - novel-length, and readers get blips of a summary for each chapter (at least, on AO3, as FFnet doesn’t allow for it). The chapters average 10K. I did not come to play. It’s structured to read like you’re watching a season of behind-the-scenes-canon SPN, I’ve been clear I’m doing it in tandem with the active season(s), so I’m not gonna warn them “SPOILERS!” every chapter. I’m tired. I’m old. My fingers hurt, Spooks. My keyboard’s angry with me.  

Hope this helps! Or at least didn’t give you a headache. You’re ahead of the game already, just by asking the question. I think you rock. And I’m always right about knowing these sorts of things about people.

So sayeth the Nash, so say we all. 

[athleisure-aesthetic]

This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix