#ralph guardino

[nancydrewpcpolls]

Aside from Nancy

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

My theory on game 34

We're in prague, and there's an electronics shop where Nancy takes Ned for another late anniversary present. He chooses an Apple Watch, but since Apple is trademarked, it's a Watermelon Watch. Nancy doesn't have money to pay for it since she never travels with money, so she gets a job as a barista (while having no experience) and meets Radek there. He's cute and is a university student from Canada staying with his Czech grandparents while he pursues his computer science degree.

***SPOILERS FOR GAME 34!!!*** (not really)

8 hours into gameplay, we come across a mysterious laptop and look through it. We find clues and eventually discover that Radek may not be who we think he is! Then, we look behind us and see Radek, standing there. He pulls off his mask and GASP he's Dwayne Rogers! Nancy's like "i thought you were in the middle of the ocean!" he says "HA, YOU FORGOT I CAN SWIM!" even though it was the middle of the ocean and there were sharks (he was too angry to be eaten by a shark) and then does an evil laugh and pulls a lever which traps Nancy in a box. He leaves and says "i have the treasure of seven badass looking keys that you were supposed to find in the mystery game because we needed a fun plot!" and runs out.

To get out of the box we need to be fluent in Czech because we have a pocket dictionary, and we have to build a makeshift giant blowtorch to Qui-Gon Jinn our way through the metal box (it's metal) and chase down Dwayne as he runs away. We tackle him Ralph Guardino style as "We Are The Champions" plays in the background.

We never get Ned the Watermelon Watch.

[thebeastofblackmoor]

ralph guardino….

[kokomokringle]

Ralph Guardino is such an enigma. Did he choose his profession to match his name? Is that even his real name? Does he exist outside of WWB Studios? Why does he seem to be suffering from short-term memory loss? I need answers.

[incorrectnancydrewquotes]

Millie: Have a good day!

Ralph: Don't tell me what to do!

[hotchkiss-and-tell]

Stay Tuned for Danger

Rick Arlen

Millie Strathorn

Ralph Guardino

Lillian Weiss

Dwayne Powers

Mattie Jensen

[spaceaceathena]

nancy drew name meanings

so this is the work i’ve been doing over the past couple days, I want to give you guys a heads up that list will contain spoilers for some of the characters/games so please be aware of all of that. if this garners interest, i’ll do maybe the penvellyn family tree (that thing could not fit in here) or last name origins!

Main Cast

Nancy Drew: Grace (Hebrew)

Bess Marvin: god of plenty (English)

Georgia “George” Fayne: farmer (English)

Edward “Ned” Nickerson: wealth, fortune, prosperous OR guardian, protector (English)

Joe Hardy: god will increase (English)

Frank “Franklin” Hardy: free landowner (English)

SCK/SCKR

Jacob “Jake” Rogers: supplanter (Hebrew)

Daryl Gray: open, from Airelle (English, French)

Connie Watson: strong willed, wise (Irish)

Hal Tanaka: army ruler (English)

Hector “Hulk” Sanchez: holding fast (Greek)

Mitch Dillon: Who is like God, gift from god (Hebrew)

Detective “Steve” Beech: crown, garland (Greek)

STFD

Mattie Jensen: lady, mistress of the house, might in battle (Aramaic or German)

Richard “Rick” Arlen: brave ruler (English)

Dwayne Powers: swarthy (Irish, Gaelic)

Lillian Weiss: lily, a flower (English)

Millie Strathorn: industrious (German)

William Pappas: resolute protector, strong willed warrior (German)

Ralph Guardino: counsel wolf, famous wolf (Norse, English)

MHM

Rose Green: rose, a flower (English)

Abby Sideris: father’s joy (Hebrew)

Charlie Murphy: free man (Charlie)

Louis Chandler: fame, warrior, famous in battle (French)

Hannah Gruen: favor, grace (Hebrew)

Emily Foxworth: rival, wily, persuasive (Latin, Greek)

TRT

Professor Beatrice Hotchkiss: she who makes happy, bringer of joy, blessings (Italian, French, Latin)

Dexter Egan: right handed, fortunate, one who dyes (Latin)

Lisa Ostrum: God’s promise (English, Hebrew)

Jacques Brunais: supplanter (French)

FIN

Brady Armstrong: spirited, broad (Irish)

Joseph Hughes: he will add (Hebrew)

Nicholas Falcone: victory of the people (Greek)

Simone Mueller: god has heard (Hebrew)

Maya Nguyen: good mother (Greek)

Eustacia Andropov: fruitful, productive (Greek)

Sherman Trout: shearer of woolen garments (English)

SSH

Joanna Riggs: god is gracious (Greek/Hebrew)

Alejandro Del Rio: defender of mankind (Spanish)

Taylor Sinclair: tailor (French)

Henrik Van Der Hune: ruler of the home, lord of the house (Swedish, Danish)

Franklin Rose: free landowner (English)

Poppy “Penelope” Dada: weaver (Greek)

Prudence Rutherford: prudence, good judgement (Latin)

DOG

Red Knott: person with red hair (English)

Jeff Akers: pledge of peace (English)

Emily Griffin: rival, persuasive, wily (Latin, Greek)

Sally McDonald: princess (Hebrew)

Vivian Whitmore: lively (Latin)

Mickey Malone: who is like god (Hebrew)

Lucy: as of light (English, French)

Iggy: fiery (Latin)

Vitus: lively (Latin)

Xander: defender of man (Greek)

Yogi: one who performs yoga (Indian, Hindu)

CAR

Harlan Bishop: army land (English)

Ingrid Corey: beloved, beautiful (Norse, German)

Elliot Chen: with strength and right, bravely and truly, boldly and rightly (English, Breton)

Joy Trent: joy, happiness (Latin)

Paula Santos: small (Latin)

K.J Perris: Petros-> the rock (Greek)

Tink Obermeier: love (English)

DDI

Jenna Deblin: white shadow, white wave (English, Welsh)

Katie Firestone: pure (English, Greek)

Andy Jason: manlike, brave (Greek)

Holt Scotto: woods, forest (English)

Casey Porterfield: vigilant, watchful (Irish, Gaelic)

Dr. Irina Predoviciu: peace (Greek)

Hilda Swenson: battle (Norse)

SHA

Dave Gregory: beloved (English)

Tex Britten: from Texas (American)

Mary Yazzie: bitter, beloved, rebelliousness, wished for child, marine, drop of the sea (Aramaic, Hebrew via Latin and Greek)

Shorty Thurmond: a short person (American)

Bet Rawley: god is my oath (Hebrew)

Ed Rawley: wealthy spear, protector, guard, frend (English)

Sheriff Hernandez: son of Hernando (Spanish)

Dirk Valentine: famous ruler (German)

France Humber: free one (French, English)

Meryl Humber: shining sea (English)

CUR

Linda Penvellyn: beautiful, pretty, cute OR clean (Spanish/Portugeuse, Italian)

Mrs. Leticia Drake: joy, gladness (Latin)

Jane Penvellyn: god is gracious/merciful (English)

Nigel Mookerjee: champion (Irish, Gaelic)

Ethel Bossiny: noble (English)

Hugh Penvellyn: mind, spirit (English)

Mrs. Petrov: petros-> rock (Greek to Russian)

CLK

Emily Crandall: rival, wily, persuasive (Latin, Greek)

Jane Willoughby: god is gracious/merciful (English)

Richard Topham: strong in rule (English, French, German, Czech)

Jim Archer: supplanter (English)

Carson Drew: son of marsh dwellers (Scandinavian)

Gloria Crandall: glory, fame, renown, praise, honor (Latin)

Marion Aborn: star of the sea (French)

Mrs Farthingham: a house supplying food (Scottish)

Josiah Crowley: god has healed (Hebrew)

TRN

Lori Girard: bay laurel (English)

Tino Balducci: little, junior (Italian)

Charleena Purcell: free man (German)

John Gray: graced by god (Hebrew)

Jake Hurley: supplanter (Hebrew)

Camille Hurley: helper to the priest (French)

Fatima: captivating, shining one (Arabic)

DAN

Minette: star of the sea, love, will helmet, protection (French)

Heather McKay: evergreen flowering plant (Middle English)

Jing Jing Ling: perfect essence (Chinese)

Dieter von Schwesterkrank: army of the people (German)

Jean-Michel Traquenard: god remits (Hebrew)

Lynn Manrique: pond, lake, pool, waterfall (Welsh)

Hugo Butterly: mind (German)

Zu: knowledgeable and voracious reader (French)

Tammy Barnes (Minette): palm tree (Hebrew)

Noisette Tornade: hazelnut (French)

the n*zi will not be appearing on this list

CRE

Pua Mapu: flower (Hawaiian)

Big Island Mike Mapu: who is like god, gift from god (Hebrew)

Dr. Quigley Kim: descendant of Coigleach or maybe messy hair (Irish)

Dr. Malachi Craven: messenger of god (Hebrew)

ICE

Ollie Randall: olive tree (Latin)

Yanni Volkstaia: god is gracious (Greek)

Bill Kessler: resolute protection (English)

Lou Talbot: renowned warrior (French)

Guadalupe Comillo: river of the wolf (Spanish)

Chantal Moique: stone (French)

Elsa Sibblehoth: pledged to god (German)

Freddie Randall: elf, magical counsel, peaceful ruler (English, German)

Isis: throne (Egyptian)

CRY

Henry Bolet Jr.: house ruler (French)

Dr. Gilbert Buford: bright pledge/promise (French)

Lamont Warrick: the mountain (French)

Renee Amande: reborn, born again (French)

Summer: season, half-year (German)

Bruno Bolet: brown (German)

Bernie: strong and brave bear (German, French)

Iggy: fiery (Latin)

VEN

Colin Baxter: whelp, cub, young creature (Irish, Scottish, Gaelic)

Margherita Faubourg: daisy (Italian)

Helena Berg: light/bright (Greek)

Enrico Tazza: homeowner, king (Italian)

Antonio Fango: priceless one (Spanish, Italian)

Sophia Leporace: wisdom (Greek)

HAU

Kyler Mallory: bowman, archer (Dutch)

Matt Simmons: gift of god (Hebrew)

Kit Foley: bearing Christ (Greek)

Donal Delany: world leader (Scottish)

Alan Payne: precious (German)

Fiona Malloy: white, fair (Gaelic)

RAN - Her Interactive refuses to acknowledge this game and so will I.

WAC

Corine Myers: maiden (American)

Danielle Hayes: god is my judge (Latin)

Mel Corbalis: council protector (English)

Megan Vargas: pearl (Greek)

Izzy Romero: god’s promise (Hebrew)

Leela Yadav: play OR night beauty (Sanskrit or Arabic)

Rachel Hubbard: ewe, one with purity (Hebrew)

Kim Hubbard: of the clearing of the royal fortress (Old English)

Rebecca Sawyer (Nancy): join, tie, snare (Hebrew)

Rita Hallowell: pearl (Spanish)

TOT

Scott Varnell: from Scotland, a Scotsman (old English)

Debbie Kircum: bee (Hebrew)

Tobias “Frosty” Harlow: god is good (Hebrew)

Chase Releford: to hunt (French)

SAW

Shimizu Yumi: reason/cause, beauty; abundant, beauty; evening, fruit; tenderness, beauty (Japanese)

Shimizu Miwako: child of beautiful harmony (Japanese)

Shimizu Kasumi: mist, clear, pure (Japanese)

Nagai Takae: filial piety, obedience and large river (Japanese)

Aihara Rentaro: dependant on kanji used (Japanese)

Savannah Woodham: treeless plain (Spanish)

CAP

Karl Weschler: free man, strong man, man, manly (German)

Anja Mittelmeier: grace (German, Russian)

Lukas Mittelmeier: man from Lucanus (German, Greek, Swedish)

Renate Stoller: Reborn (Latin)

Markus Boehm: dedicated to Mars (Latin)

ASH

Chief McGinnis: son of Angus (Irish)

Deirdre Shannon: broken hearted, sorrowful (Irish, Gaelic)

Brenda Carlton: sword (Norse)

Alexei Markovic: defender (Russian)

Antonia “Toni” Scallari: priceless, praiseworthy, beautiful (Roman)

TMB

Abdullah Bakhoum: servant of Allah (Arabic)

Lily Crewe: lily, a flower

Jamila El-Dine: beauty (Arabic)

Dylan Carter: son of the sea, son of the wave, born from the ocean (Welsh)

Jon Boyle: God is gracious, gift of Jehovah (Hebrew)

DED

Victor Lossett: winner, conqueror (Latin)

Ryan Kilpatrick: descendant of the king, little king (Irish, Gaelic)

Mason Quinto: one who works with stone (English)

Ellie York: shining light (Greek)

Gray Cortright: color, black mixed with white (English)

Niko Jovic: people of victory (Greek, English, Slavic)

GTH

Jessalyn Thornton: he sees (Hebrew)

Clara Thornton: clear, bright, famous (Latin)

Wade Thornton: to go, ford (Anglo-Saxon English)

Harper Thornton: harp, son of the harper (Scottish, Irish, English)

Colton Birchfield: swarthy person, coal town, settlement (Old English)

Charlotte Thornton: free man, petite (French)

Addison Hammond: son of Adam, son of Addi (Old English, Scottish)

SPY

Alec Fell: defender of the people (English)

Bridget Shaw: power, strength, virtue, vigor, noble or exalted one (Gaelic, Irish)

Ewan Macleod: born of the mountain (Scottish, Gaelic)

Moira Chisholm: destiny, share, fate (English)

Kate Drew: pure (English)

Samantha Quick: listens well, as told by god (Aramaic, Hebrew)

MED

Sonny Joon: son (English)

Patrick Dowsett: nobleman, patrician (Latin)

Leena Patel: young palm tree, tender, delicate (Qunaric Arabic)

Kiri Nind: skin, bark, rind (Māori)

Jin Seung: rise, ascent, victory, excel, inherit (Sino-Korean)

LIE

Xenia Doukas: foreigner, outlander, welcomed guest, hospitality (Greek)

Niobe Papadaki: fern (Greek)

Thanos Ganas: immortal (Greek)

Grigor Karakinos: vigilant (Greek)

Melina Rosi: honey, god’s gift (Greek)

SEA

Soren Bergursson: severe (Scandinavian) 

Dagny Silva: new day (Old Norse)

Elisabet Grimursdottir: pledged to god (Hebrew)

Magnus Kiljansson: great (Latin)

Gunnar Tonnisson: fighter, soldier, attacker, brave and bold warrior (Nordic)

Burt Eddleton: bright, glorious (Old English)

Alex Trang: man’s defender, warrior (Greek)

MID

Mei Parry: beautiful (Chinese)

Teegan Parry: special thing, little poet (Cornish, Gaelic)

Olivia Ravencraft: olive, olive tree (Latin)

Judge Danforth: hidden ford (Old English) [Last name]

Lauren Corey: laurel tree, sweet of honor, wisdom (English, french)

Alicia Cole: noble natured (Germanic)

Jason Danforth: healer (Greek)

[scoobydoo-andnancytoo]

RALPH'S LAST NAME IS GUARDINO ???????????

[detectivedrewshouldgetaclue]

*Alternate Ending to STFD* SPOLIERS AHEAD!

Dwayne: It’s curtains for you, Misssss Drew!

*The Door WHOOSHES open and Ralph comes barreling in, just as Dwayne closes in on Nancy*

Ralph: What’s goin’ on here? Hey, you! Dis is da guy we been lookin’ for.

*Ralph tackles Dwayne*

Ralph, handcuffing Dwayne: Congratulations, Nancy. You’ve solved da case.

Nancy: Way to go, Ralph!

Ralph: Forget aboughdet!

Nancy: Dwayne’s in the right hands, now. Case closed!

*Dwayne bows his head in shame, as Nancy, comforting Lillian, exits the set*

Dwayne: “No! No...”

*Ralph escorts the bound Mr. Powers into the hall and out the side door of WWB. The two make their way into an ally, were a dark sedan lies hidden in the shadows. Ralph opens the door and guides Dwayne into the passengers seat, keeping his hand on the captive’s head, police style. Ralph then walks around the car and slides into the driver’s seat*

Dwayne, with quaking voice: Where...where are you taking me, Mr. Guardino?

*Ralph’s hard expression melts into a smile, as he gazes into his lover’s eyes. The two kiss passionately. Ralph produces a small key and Dwayne laughs as the hefty guard begins to unlock his handcuffs*

Ralph, beaming, produces 2 plane tickets: Oh, I dunno. I was thinking maybe...Rio de Janeiro?

Dwayne, teasingly: Why, Ralph! You naughty boy. Helping a criminal escape justice? You ought to be punished for your sins. We’ll see that these handcuffs are put to good use, later...

*Dwayne leans in for another kiss*

Ralph becomes serious and pulls back, drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel: That really was too close, Dwayne. Either one of those spunky ladies could’ve escaped and called for help, while you did the other in. That Drew girl is especially resourceful. I couldn’t have saved you...

Dwayne, grimacing, rubs his legs: Saving? Really, darling—is that what you call it? I could’ve sworn it felt like tackling...

Ralph, staring at Dwayne intently: Dis is serious, D.

Dwayne, clicking his tongue: I do so love it when you’re serious, R. Your face is all the more handsome. Handsome as the day I discovered you doing Shakespeare in the Park. And I also love it when you do the phony New Yorker accent! I dare say, your acting ability nearly equals mine.

Ralph, rolling his eyes, dropping his accent and speaking in a British tone: High praise, indeed, love. While both of our acting was top-notch, back there...

Dwayne, sighing and interrupting: I know, I know. Don’t you know I can act cheerful, even at the worst of times? I’ve quite the gift. But you’re right. That terrible teen almost got us. But worry not. I’ve got plans for her...and Rick, yet. Now. Drive.

*the car peels away into the night, as the two thespians dream of sunny skies, warm sand, tropical waters, and...revenge*

[trademarknickersoncharm]

AUSTIN CASTS #2 (Stay Tuned For Danger)

MOVIE CAST:

-Chris Hemsworth as Richard “Rick Arlen” Aburtuski

-Natalie Portman as Mattie Jensen

-Courteney Cox as Lillian Weiss

-Alec Baldwin as Dwayne Powers

-Georgia Engel as Millie Strathorn (rest in piece you beautiful woman)

-Patrick Warburton as Ralph Guardino

-Kennedy McMann as Nancy Drew

What do I change/add?

Millie is MUCH more prominent. Nancy goes to the prop room a lot more and Millie does a couple of more things to make her shady.

We are in NYC, but this time we are at an actual studio, (30 Rock).

Mattie is not the one who hires Nancy, it's Dwayne. Nancy also does not live with Mattie. 

Dwayne makes Nancy an NBC page and that is her cover.

It’s much more dark. Rick still gets all the usual things (chocolates, dead flowers, teleprompter threat) BUT he also receives dead fish, doll heads, and falls through the trapdoor on the stage.

Of course the culprit is the same, how can it not be?

BROADWAY MUSICAL CAST:

-Ben Platt as Rick Arlen

-Kerry Butler as Mattie Jensen

-Idina Menzel as Lillian Weiss

-Andy Karl as Dwayne Powers

-Betty Buckley as Millie Strathorn

-Chad Burris as Ralph Guardino

-Erika Henningsen as Nancy Drew

SONG LIST

ACT 1 SONGS:

NYC- (Nancy, Ralph, Mattie)

Page the Page- (Dwayne, Nancy)

Hunk- (Rick, Nancy)

A Riddle or Two- (Millie)

Serena- (Mattie, Rick)

Klieg Fright- (Ensemble)

Hunk (Reprise)- (Rick)

Little Miss Snoop- (Lillian, Nancy, Ralph)

Hunk (reprise)- (Lillian)

Serena (Reprise)- Mattie

Light of Our Love (Ensemble)

ACT 2 SONGS:

Owen Spayder- (Dwayne, Nancy)

The Interview- (Rick)

A Riddle or Two (Reprise)- (Millie)

Rick- (Lillian)

Bess- (Rick, Nancy)

Dwanger- (Nancy, Mattie Rick)

The Note- (Nancy, Lillian)

Truth- (Lillian)

STOP!- (Ralph)

Light of Our Love (Reprise)- (Ensemble)

[minettestan]

Minette (obviously), heather mckay, ralph guardino, and grigor for the ask thing?

Heather McKay: Do you care about fashion?

Im into fashion and was putting together a new wardrobe that fits my aesthetic better but with the quarentine I can't really leave the house looking stylish 😑

Ralph Guardino: What is your job?

Unemployed student

Grigor Karakinos: If you had to make up a fake identity for yourself, what first and last name would you pick and why? Roxanne Holiday, its what I named my character in the game The Outer Worlds bc Captain Roxy Holiday sounds cool af

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

When you say favorite suspects, just like which one we liked best as a character in general?

Yup! I used the word “suspects” to limit it from phone friends and reoccuring characters like the Hardy Boys and stuff. And also Ralph Guardino and Miles the Memory Machine since both are characters but neither are suspects or investigated or really talked to well. 

[thebeastofblackmoor]

Nancy Drew Asks- Send me a Suspect!

Since it seems everyone is cooped up at home, I figured I’d make an ask game of my own to help the Clue Crew combat boredom... Send me a suspect and rb!

Daryl Gray: What kind of car do you drive? Connie Watson: Are you a part of any clubs? Hal Tanaka: Have you ever cheated in school? Hector “Hulk” Sanchez:  Do you play any sports? If so, which one(s)? Detective Beech: Do you keep a journal? What’s in it? Mitch Dillon: Have you ever blocked your number and if yes, why?

Mattie Jensen: Describe the plot of the last TV show you watched. Rick Arlen: What’s your favorite kind of chocolate? Lillian Weiss: What’s the worst way you’ve ever broken up with somebody? Millie Strathorn: Would you consider yourself cluttered or organized? Dwayne Powers: Do you hold a grudge? Ralph Guardino: What is your job?

Rose Green: Do you talk with your hands? Abby Sideris: What is your star sign? Louis Chandler: What’s the oldest thing you own? Charlie Murphy: How many different places have you lived?

Dexter Egan: Did you get in trouble a lot as a kid? Professor Hotchkiss: Early bird or night owl (hoot hoot)? Lisa Ostrum: Do you speak another language? Jacques Brunais: Would you rather have a big or small wedding?

Brady Armstrong: What was the worst job you ever worked? Simone Mueller: Has anyone ever climbed out of your wardrobe? Nicholas Falcone: Have you ever been to a protest? Joseph Hughes: If you had to move away to live with family in another state, who would it be and where?

Joanna Riggs: What’s your favorite exhibit at the museum? Henrik van der Hune: Are you attracted to Henrik? this is a serious question I know a lot of you are or at least used to be.. what was the deal with that.. Alejandro del Rio: What country are you from? Taylor Sinclair: Do you have a nickname?

Red Knott: What’s your favorite animal? Emily Griffin: If you owned a store, what would it sell? Jeff Akers: Do you have any pets?

Harlan Bishop: Have you ever gotten into trouble with the law? Ingrid Corey: If you suddenly got a lot of money, how would you spend it? Joy Trent: Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist? Elliot Chen: If any, what kind of art do you do?

Katie Firestone: What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Holt Scotto: Political alignment? Andy Jason: Sharks or whales? Jenna Deblin: Starbucks or local coffee shop?

Dave Gregory: You got a steady back home? Tex Britten: Have you ever ridden a horse? Shorty Thurmond: Are you a good cook? Mary Yazzie: Have you ever had a secret relationship?

Linda Penvellyn: Are you married? Jane Penvellyn: Favorite mythological creature? Mrs. Drake: Do you have plants? Ethel Bossiny: What period in or piece of history fascinates you the most? Nigel Mookerjee: Do you scare easily?

Emily Crandall: When was the last time you stayed in your pajamas all day? Richard Topham: Have you ever seen a psychic? Jane Willoughby: What kind of accent do you have? Jim Archer: Are you good with money?

Lori Girard: Favorite celebrity? Charleena Purcell: What was the last book you read? Tino Balducci: Do you exaggerate stories?  John Grey: What’s the cheesiest TV show you watch?

Minette: Do you have any tattoos? JJ Ling: Most outrageous lie you’ve told? Heather McKay: Do you care about fashion? Dieter von Schwesterkrank: How many people have you dated? Jean-Michel Traquenard: Where do you do your best work?

Dr. Quigley Kim: Bugs: yay or nay? Big Island Mike: What’s your favorite meme? Pua Mapu: Have you ever been surfing? Malachi Craven: Do you take compliments well?

Ollie Randall: Have you ever been hunting? Freddie Randall: Do you like winter weather? Bill Kessler: Name a place from your childhood that holds a fond place in your heart. Yanni Volkstaia: Winter or summer sports? Lou Talbot: What did you major in or what would you like to major in, if applicable? Guadalupe Comillo: Did you have a “wolf phase” growing up?

Henry Bolet: Are you more goth, jock, nerd, or prep? Renee Amande: Do you have a secret stash of food in your room? Lamont Warrick: Do you have allergies? Gilbert Buford: Describe your best friend.

Margarita Fauberg: Do you prefer to spend time inside or outside? Helena Berg: What’s your favorite city in the world? Colin Baxter: Do you give a single shit about tesserae tiles?? Enrico Tazza: Favorite card game? Antonio Fango: Do you work in an office?

Kyler Mallory: Do you know much about your family history? Matt Simmons: Do you enjoy playing practical jokes? Kit Foley: Have you ever gotten into a physical fight? Donal Delaney: Favorite drink, alcoholic or otherwise? Fiona Malloy: What was your favorite toy as a kid?

Johnny Rolle: Favorite Halloween costume you’ve ever worn?

Corine Meyers: Did you get good grades in high school? Izzy Romero: Were you popular in high school? Mel Corbalis: Do you play an instrument? Rachel & Kim Hubbard: Do you have any siblings?

Scott Varnell: What are you really passionate about? Debbie Kircum: Are you a hard worker? Frosty Harlow: Do you like photography? Chase Relerford: Have you ever stolen from a store? Pa: Do you do any theater?

Yumi Shimizu: Would you consider yourself bossy? Miwako Shimizu: Are you timid or assertive? Takae Nagai: Do you have any traditions you honor? Rentaro Aihara: Are you technical-minded? I was gonna ask if you like puzzles but, um, this is the friggin clue crew

Karl Weschler: Are you a leader or a follower? Anja Mittelmeier: Have you or would you lie on your resume?  Lukas Mittelmeier: Do you like to cause trouble? Renate Stoller: Tell us the best story you’ve got.

Deirdre Shannon: Do you get jealous easily? Brenda Carlton: Are you just the fucking worst? (HINT: No, because you’re not Brenda) Toni Scallari: Do you talk about people behind their backs? Alexei Markovic: Do you break things often?

Abdullah Bakhoum: Do you have high self-confidence? Lily Crewe: Favorite board game? Dylan Carter: Are people inclined to believe you, even when you lie? Jamila El-Dine: Do you believe there are aliens on other planets?

Victor Lossett: Are you strict? Ryan Kilpatrick: What’s your favorite kind of candy? Mason Quinto: Do you consider yourself a logical thinker? Ellie York: What “percent scientist” are you? Gray Cortright: Would you work a night shift?

Clara Thornton: Tell us a story you haven’t told almost anyone. Apparently “have you ever accidentally gotten someone killed?” isn’t an appropriate question for tumblr dot com Wade Thornton: Do you believe in ghosts? Jessalyn Thornton: Do you think spending a night on a haunted island with your best friend sounds like fun? Harper Thornton: What’s your favorite book? Colton Birchfield: How would you get the attention of someone you liked?

Alec Fell: Are you especially witty? Moira Chisholm: Again, since “have you ever accidentally gotten someone killed?” isn’t gonna cut it, I’ll go with: What are your hobbies? Ewan Macleod: What piece of spy gadgetry would you pick if you got to take one home? Zoe Wolf: Do you like to break the rules?

Sonny Joon: Do you doodle? Patrick Dowsett: Are you a good swimmer? Leena Patel: How did you meet your best friend? Kiri Nind: Why did you dedicate your life to being on trashy TV? Do you watch reality TV?

Xenia Doukas: Which fictional character do you relate to on a personal level? Niobe Papadaki: Are you a good public speaker? Grigor Karakinos: If you had to make up a fake identity for yourself, what first and last name would you pick and why? Thanos Ganas:  Do you think you’re intimidating?

Elisabet Grimursdottir: Are you a cat or a dog person? Dagny Silva: What’s your sexuality? Soren Bergursson: If you were a villain, what would be your weapon of choice? Gunnar Tonnisson: What stands out about your physical appearance?

[blackjack-15]

Staying Tuned for a Soap Opera — Thoughts on: Stay Tuned for Danger (STFD)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: STFD, FIN, RAN.

The Intro:

Stay Tuned for Danger is another short game, though it owes its runtime more to the limitations of 1999 than anything else. Full of wacky, overwrought characters and hilariously over-the-top threats, puzzles, and ‘incidents’, STFD isn’t a smart game, but it’s a mildly fun one, and definitely improves as the second in a series.

STFD relies heavily on constantly rising action, meaning that things never calm down — the game escalates and escalates until it’s over, which encourages the player to finish the whole thing in as few parts as possible to get the full effect.

It does have its problems — way too many things to click on that are pointless, an obvious villain, frustrating and out-of-place puzzles, and the clunkiest interface known to man, but it saves itself from the scrap heap by embracing, rather than avoiding, its own campiness.

The Title:

Funnily enough, this title is actually straight-up ace. It’s a snappy take on soap opera clichés, and is the only game to have a four-letter abbreviation, lest we take Nancy into the world of sexually transmitted diseases.

Er…considering how Rick looks, make that further into the world of sexually transmitted diseases.

Plus, this game puts a heavy emphasis on the continually rising action of its events, so the “stay tuned” part works really, really well. A+ work here.

The Mystery:

Fresh off of the success of finding a killer in Miami, Aunt Eloise once again hears of trouble and sends Nancy Drew barking after it. This time, it’s off to New York to investigate some death threats that a soap opera star is being sent.

Hold the presses, I know.

With everyone working as hard as they can to be unhelpful, it’s up to Nancy to massively invade everyone’s privacy and discover who’s writing the threats (and making the bombs, and dropping the lights, and…) before Rick Arlen actually gets seriously hurt or killed.

Through a lot of snooping, after-hours sneaking, and clunky interrogations, Nancy manages to “figure out” the culprit when he presents himself at the end despite 90% of clues pointing to him, has to solve a puzzle in the nick of time, and treats the audience to a hilarious-looking “capture” of the culprit.

The Suspects:

Mattie Jensen is the one renting Aunt Eloise’s apartment, and the person Nancy first encounters. Not only is she the (co-) star of the show, but she’s also the only one who stuck with her original agent, Dwayne Powers. 

Her mother is too involved in her life, she moves like a plasticine doll, and is a Horrible judge of character, employing Dwayne Powers and having dated Rick Arlen, but Mattie seems genuinely concerned for Rick’s life, asking Nancy to help by snooping around, and offering her aid to the amateur detective.

Mattie’s not short on motive, having been dumped by Rick and having her career endangered by his anticipated contract-breaking in order to get into films and out of soaps, but she’s not really a “suspect” once you’re 1/3 of the way through the game.

This is one of Her Interactive’s favorite tropes — a suspect cleared early on so that Nancy can have a helper — and it shows up for the first time here. In this case, Mattie helps Nancy go undercover as a budding young actress in order to help her investigate more fully.

Rick Arlen is the other co-star of the soap opera (“Light of Our Love”), playing the male main lead. Tired of the small soap opera notoriety he has right now, Rick longs for the big screen, leading him to try to break his contract with Bill Pappas and leave the show.

Rick is a blowhard egomaniac who’s willing to flirt with any woman he sees — even the young amateur detective Nancy Drew — but that’s pretty much all the depth that he has. He dates a lot, but he’s too shallow to keep any relationship for long, either dumping them (Mattie) or being dumped (Lillian).

There might be a moment or two where you think he might be behind his threatening notes to give him an unimpeachable reason to leave…but then you remember that this is Rick Arlen, and he has No Shame, and doesn’t see anything wrong with breaking his contract.

He does send the first few notes, signing them with an anagram of his name (which somehow Her thought was brilliant enough to use twice in one game), but that’s it as far as his involvement goes — he’s not a man with a death wish; he’s an egomaniac. Pure and simple.

The only other thing about him in the game is that he ditched Dwayne for a better agent, which is treated as, like, the Height of Disloyalty. However, knowing that Dwayne is balls-to-the-wall nuts, not a great agent, and hates Rick for dating Mattie….I’d switch to a new agent as well. Sure, it’s not super kind, but it’s not at all an immoralmove to make, and it’s the best thing he could do if he wants an actual enduring career in showbiz.

Dwayne Powersis Mattie’s agent, Rick’s ex-agent, and all around bleeding psychopath with delusions of grandeur. He’s also one of the most obvious villains in the whole series (tying with…well, RAN), blames Rick for his failing business (when the truth is that he’s just not very good at it and has stopped trying at this point), and casts his Cool Alter-Ego Owen W. Spayder as his crimesona.

Dwayne isn’t diagnosably medically insane like the culprit in FIN, but he’s crazy all the same, from his Loud Speeches about hating Rick, to his skulking around the set in a hat and beard, to his ridiculous bombs and light-droppings, etc. etc.

He’s upset that he couldn’t make it as an actor himself, and resigned himself to helping others with their natural talents. Not only does he let this turn him into an attempted murderer, but he also gives this Huge Speech at the end…which lets us see, yeah, he wouldn’t have made it as an actor (and as if RAN needed to reinforce that point, it does anyway).

Dwayne is interesting in that he’s the only suspect to escape twice and the only villain to be the villain in two games, but…quite frankly, he’s not interesting enough to deserve those distinguishing characteristics. Dwayne isn’t enough to carry one game, let alone two, and it shows.

Lillian Weiss is the snappish, cold director of “Light of Our Love”, who is suspicious of everyone and has the clout of being one of the only characters who can fire Nancy without it resulting in a second chance.

She also happens to be the smartest and most likable character in the game (except for Bill Pappas, of course), willing to accept when she’s been wrong and call Nancy to come back in, who figures out who’s pulling these “pranks” around the set, and poured a pitcher of water on Rick’s head while dumping him. 

She also sent him poisoned chocolates which, knowing the guy, I fully condone. She gets to live out Rick’s dream by going to Hollywood, so that’s nice and karmic as well.

Lillian isn’t ever really nice to you, nor does she lose her snappiness, but she is a good guy, and she’s allowed to be smart and capable without being warm and fuzzy, and I personally think that makes her more multi-faceted than most early ND characters were allowed to be.

Millie Strathorn is the elderly owner and founder of WWB and prop master for “Light of Our Love”. She’s also not quite sane, mixing fantasy and reality at any given moment.

Her “motivation” is that she hates Rick and tries to keep submitting scripts to write him out of the show, and this show apparently doesn’t have a Writer (we’ve got a producer, director, and two stars + talent agent, but no writer?), but her scripts keep being rejected anyway. 

Probably because, once again, she mixes fantasy and reality, and definitely wrote a scene where Rick Arlen and “Rory Danner” face off and mud-wrestle, stabbing each other in the face.

Either that or a ménage àtrois between Rick, Rory, and Yuri (Rory’s “evil twin” in the show”. Which would be Very Tricky to shoot with 1999 technology.

Anyway, Millie makes you solve a few middling riddles and then pretty much effs off for the rest of the game, making her a crazy memorable (not to mention straight-up crazy) character despite her lack of screen time (and overall pointlessness).

William Pappas is the never-seen yet always entertaining producer of “Light of Our Love”, who is super pissed about Rick trying to break his contract is “Light of Our Love” and says that he’ll kill Rick before he let him walk out on him. This threat, of course, is just Bill venting, and after Nancy defuses the bomb in Rick’s dressing room, Bill is more than happy to help her out.

As a suspect, Bill sucks, wholly and completely — to the point where he’s just not a suspect. As a character, however, he is a Delight and a Treasure, bursting with pointless personality. I aspire to be Bill Pappas.

Ralph Guardino is the twice-seen security guard at WWB who gives you access to the building, then promptly effs off until he appears to arrest Dwayne at the end. And yes, his name is just “Guard” with “-ino” added at the end. I guess Her used up all their imagination on weird and wonderful pictures to photoshop their characters into.

Ralph, like Bill, isn’t really a suspect at all; he exists because the story needed a job done, so they created a character to do it. He’s also Bill’s cousin, so there’s some added “meaning” that’s actually pointless as well. There’s nothing offensive about Ralph, per se, but there’s nothing good about him either. He’s just kind of…there.

The Favorites:

The general soapy tone of this game makes it fun, and Dwayne’s villain reveal/speech is only matched in its dramatic campiness by…well, his speech in RAN.

Bill Pappas is my Hero and I wish he’d gotten more screen time (though I love that we never see him), and Nancy’s delivery of “Prop Master of DEATH” alone is worth the price of admission.

The Un-Favorites:

First off, the fact that they forgot to put in the desk key really bothers me. I know that the only stuff in there are fake fan letters to Rick from Mattie, encouraging him to stay (which doesn’t point to guilt at all, and so is pretty pointless), but like…it’s locked. It must be important.

I know Her Interactive wanted to advertise their 100+ “close up shots”, but it drags the game down to look at everything — especially since hidden in those 100+ are 5-10 that are Super Tiny and that you have to click on, even if they don’t tell you anything new, or you’ll get stuck and be unable to progress.

Nancy’s inability to see Dwayne as the villain even when it’s patently obvious is a pretty serious knock against this game. Neither Bill nor Ralph are considered actual suspects, Mattie is cleared early on, Lillian is too snappish with you (too obvious, to Her Interactive’s way of thinking) to be it, and Millie is too old to do the physical stuff (and, with her wanting Rick’s character killed off, is also too obvious) and so as early as 1/3 into the game you’re left with Dwayne and Rick. As Rick needs himself to live so he can go on to Star in Movies, you’re just left with Dwayne, who all the clues point to anyway.

The Fix:

Fixing STFD would require totally re-coding it to fix sound and playability issues on newer computers, updating the graphics, fixing characters so that they don’t look like blow-up dolls…all those Quality of Life improvements are super important and vital to a fix.

But fixing it would also require some re-writing. I realize that Millie is in the game as a nod to the original writer of Nancy Drew, and it’s…well, definitely an homage, if not a good homage, but taking her out would go a long way to streamlining the game.

There are simply too many culprits for Her Interactive’s general ability to write multiple fleshed-out characters who are all plausible suspects (especially with Nik being gone), and so the result is that the incidents, character traits, and character appearances are spread too thin for anything but blatant caricature. Millie is simply the easiest character to remove, along with Bill Pappas and Ralph (who only appears twice anyway).

You could fold Millie into Lillian without too much trouble, get rid of Bill (though it breaks my heart to say it), have Ralph’s name appear early but have him only appear at the end to arrest Dwayne, and it would lighten the load that the story breaks under considerably. I don’t think this would make it an A+ story, but it would at least be less cluttered, and STFD is cluttered enough without needing extra help.

[incorrectnancydrewquotes]

Ralph: Anyone caught dawdling will be shot on sight.

Pappas: I didn’t say that.

Ralph: I was just paraphrasing, sir.

[paoloxl]

Lorenzo Tondo, The Guardian - 12 maggio 2019

Link all’articolo originale (ENG) @lorenzo_tondo

La nave che è diventata una bara per centinaia di persone è esposta alla Biennale di Venezia. Vuole risvegliare le nostre coscienze o si tratta di uno spettacolo che strumentalizza un disastro?

Traduzione a cura di:

Agnese Napoletti

Nella notte del 18 aprile 2015, a circa 180 chilometri da Lampedusa, un peschereccio si è rovesciato in mare con centinaia di migranti a bordo. Tra le onde e sotto lo scafo lungo 23 metri, 700 passeggeri con il sogno di una vita migliore sono affogati nelle acque del Mediterraneo.

La settimana scorsa, la nave, enorme, arrugginita, è arrivata a Venezia in occasione della Biennale, in cui è stata esposta domenica, in un’installazione progettata dall’artista Christoph Büchel.

In quanto giornalista attivo in Italia, ho visto i tragici risultati dei viaggi in mare, disperati e spesso condannati in partenza, dei migranti attraverso il Mediterraneo.

La scorsa settimana, ho visto trainare la nave lungo il Canale Giudecca e mi sono sentito a disagio. Nonostante le buone intenzioni dell’artista e degli organizzatori dell’evento (accrescere la consapevolezza pubblica nei confronti delle tragedie che coinvolgono i migranti), ho iniziato a pensare  che, forse, la nave si trovava nel posto sbagliato.

L’arrivo del relitto ha velocemente suscitato critiche, in particolare da parte della Lega, partito di estrema destra italiano, il cui leader Matteo Salvini, vicepresidente del consiglio italiano, ha chiuso i porti italiani alle navi di soccorso per i migranti.

Secondo la Lega, tutto questo sarebbe “propaganda politica” e “manipolazione”. Sostiene che la Biennale dovrebbe trasferire il relitto in Svizzera, paese di origine di Büchel.

Lo stesso Büchel ha rifiutato di rilasciare interviste a proposito del progetto, intitolato Barca Nostra, ma la sua collaboratrice Maria Chiara di Trapani ha detto: “Stiamo vivendo un periodo tragico, senza memoria. Guardiamo i telegiornali e tutto sembra lontano; qualcuno è morto in mare e cambiamo canale”.

La presenza fisica della nave, sostiene, potrebbe cambiare le cose. Si augura che i visitatori della Biennale “provino rispetto e la guardino in silenzio anche solo per due minuti, per ascoltare e riflettere”.

Capisco il suo punto di vista, ma continuo a sentirmi a disagio, per quanto le mie opinioni politiche siano diametralmente opposte a quelle del partito di Salvini.

La verità è che, nonostante le buone intenzioni di Büchel, trasformare la commemorazione di queste tragedie in spettacolo rischia di sminuire - se non, addirittura, di strumentalizzare - la sofferenza legata alla crisi dei migranti.

Soprattutto in questo caso, dato che il relitto in questione non è una nave qualsiasi: la storia del suo recupero ha fatto clamore, rivelando tutta una serie di ipocrisie e di mancanze.

La nave, che si trovava a 400 metri di profondità, è stata recuperata dalle autorità italiane nel 2016, con l’autorità dell’allora presidente del consiglio, Matteo Renzi. Il recupero è diventato uno spettacolo pubblico, dato che un’intera sezione della marina italiana è stata mobilitata per l’operazione e i lavori si sono protratti per mesi, per un costo totale di 9.5 milioni di euro.

“Era doveroso dare una sepoltura a quei nostri fratelli, a quelle nostre sorelle che altrimenti sarebbero rimasti per sempre in fondo al mare”, disse Renzi a un evento il giorno in cui la nave fu portata alla luce con quasi 300 corpi intrappolati al suo interno.

Tuttavia, finite le commemorazioni, nel febbraio 2017, Marco Minniti, il precedente ministro degli interni, appartenente al PD,  strinse un accordo con la guardia costiera libica il quale le permetteva di riportare i profughi in un paese in cui le agenzie umanitarie avevano denunciato casi di tortura e abusi.

Mentre i migranti venivano rimandati nei centri di detenzione libici e uomini, donne e bambini continuavano a morire nel Mediterraneo, in Italia avveniva un macabro braccio di ferro tra diverse istituzioni per determinare chi avrebbe assunto il controllo del relitto recuperato. Nonostante nessuno sembrasse preoccuparsi dei migranti, le imbarcazioni su cui viaggiavano si stavano imponendo all’attenzione di decine di persone “dalle buone intenzioni”.

Le organizzazioni chiedevano che la nave fosse trasportata in diverse città italiane perché fosse esposta in musei. Alla fine, la città di Augusta, in Sicilia, in cui la missione di recupero era stata condotta, fu autorizzata a ottenere la nave, con la promessa che sarebbe stata usata per creare un monumento in ricordo delle vittime della tragedia. Qualche mese fa, la nave è stata data in “prestito libero e temporaneo” a Büchel per la Biennale. “Parlerà alle nostre coscienze”, ha detto Ralph Rugoff, il curatore del festival.

Sono un convinto sostenitore del valore dell’arte come strumento per risvegliare le coscienze e confrontarsi con le istituzioni. L’arte ha sempre avuto questo ruolo, è suo diritto e dovrebbe continuare a farlo.

Eppure, continuo a pensare che esporre il relitto in un contesto prettamente artistico (lontano dalle istituzioni responsabili della tragedia o dalle comunità che hanno assistito a questo orrore un anno sì, un anno no) rischia di perdere qualsiasi significato di denuncia politica, rendendolo un’opera in cui la provocazione prevale sull’obiettivo di sensibilizzare la mente dello spettatore.

La decisione di Büchel rischia di creare un’ulteriore celebrazione nostalgica della tragedia, senza che a essa corrisponda alcun atto di condanna nel presente; è troppo distante da coloro verso i quali il messaggio andrebbe rivolto.

Immagino folle di persone (ben vestite e con in mano uno spritz) davanti a una bara che conteneva 700 persone. Immagino i loro sguardi fissi sulla vernice scolorita, la stessa tinta del cielo di Venezia. Penso ai 28 sopravvissuti al naufragio e a cosa avrebbero dato anche solo per un secondo di quell’attenzione