#radiovees

[aislinceivun]

Valastor week Day 6 - Polyamory @valastorweekofficial

Based on this thread I wrote earlier in the week with the premise that Alastor starts dating Valentino and Velvette months before letting Vox join their polycule. Vox sufferz greatly😆 I've got an nsft bonus doodle & textpost on my twt / bsky!

[lalalalalalakakakak]

Valastor Week Day 6: POLYAMORY

@valastorweekofficial

But of course it’s PolyVee+Alastor. They catch him with a Masterball. (It’s a joke, please don’t come at my throat)

And I am very tired, so here, just this classic meme:

Bonus: this shit I did in 15 minutes this afternoon at work with a pen. (is it poly to prevent your husbands from killing each other? Probably)

[cringefailvox]

vees + alastor polycule but vox has to be very careful about leaving alastor alone with valentino and velvette for too long because alastor WILL start plotting a coup d'etat to oust vox from both the relationship and the company. and val & vel are spineless traitors

[eggcats]

tbh, I don't really ship poly-vees or radiovees that much, EXCEPT when it's like

bc that's so fucking funny for something for Vox to deal with

[dead-air-demon]

Alastor would have had the worst time as a part of the Vees. No privacy and voyeurism all around. Velvette's like hey boo say cheese *snap*. Valentino's like heyy pookie make a movie with me, I promise I'll make it worth your w— *choking sounds*. Vox is... Vox.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

God damn it, that post I made about Alastor joining the Vees has made me ship them all. What the fuck. Why am I like this.

[cringefailvox]

“We missed you, you big baby,” she says, and Alastor laughs wetly, muffled. “You got a lot of explaining to do, but hell, you’re still one of us.” “Frankly,” Vox says, “if you actually tried to leave, I would lock you up in the basement.” Valentino sighs affectionately, squeezing Alastor’s hand. “He doesn’t mean that.” “I very much mean that.” Alastor wants to say something along the lines of “I would be offended by anything less,” but when he tries to speak, all that comes out, horrifyingly, is a crackly sob. But it just makes Vox’s arms tighten around him, so, whatever. There are worse things.

or: some extremely soft and likely ooc radiovees because the world is a nightmare right now and i think we could all use something gentle

[cringefailvox]

alastor's exuberantly performative "sweetheart" that he only whips out when he's being annoying as fuck + vox's maddeningly condescending "sweetheart" that's the most indifferent misogyny you've ever heard + val's syrupy & intimate "sweetheart" that has hooked more than one unlucky bastard into falling in love with him = velvette starts carrying around a rolled-up newspaper to smack the shit out of whichever annoying fuck of the hour is pet naming her this time

[cringefailvox]

au where alastor does join the vees but still vanishes for seven years. the A/Vs ruling hell with a total monopoly on the media, alastor's radio tower built atop the main vee penthouse, vox still being obsessed with alastor except now it's something they all laugh about as an inside joke. alastor forcing them to slow down and commit to their strengths instead of leaping from trend to trend while the vees force him to modernize, making his broadcasts more easily accessible for listeners. all of them feeding off of each other and supporting each other and presenting one of the strongest allied fronts in hell. then alastor vanishes one day without a word and stays gone for seven years, and when he does come back he goes to the happy hotel first—not his radio tower, not the vees. imagining the betrayal and relief the vees feel; alastor is alive and unharmed (?) but he's fucking ignoring us, what the fuck? when they finally start talking again, alastor seems exactly the same except for his strange fixation on the hazbin hotel, and he refuses to tell anyone where he's been. the vees being so concerned about and angry with him and alastor cold shouldering them. all four of them joining the fight against the exorcists and alastor breaking down about his deal in front of them. just alastor incapable of realizing he has a family to turn to for help and the vees caring so much about him & each other in their own toxic fucked up ways. ughhhh

[cringefailvox]

tysm for the tag @pennedinblood :] here i've got a little smthn from a silly little radiovees with no plot, only shenanigans ehe

"—and you wouldn't fucking know anything about that, because you're a mean, pathetic bastard who'd rather sit alone in his fucking cellar jerking off than take his boyfriend out on a date—" "Oh, I'm mean? I'm pathetic? I've seen your voicemails to Angel. One of us is miserably obsessed and it isn't me." An angry squeak precipitates the noisy crash of a vase flying over Vox's head and smashing into the wall, raining water and glass and crumpled flowers on the tile. Alastor's ear flicks, once. "Go fuck yourself," Valentino shouts, snatching up a cigarette tray from a nearby table and throwing it. Vox ducks again, swearing. "Keep your flat fucking face out of my work, you don't see me telling you how to handle your business!" "You make it by business when I have to drop everything to micromanage your mood swings!" "I don't make you do anything, you fucking prick!" More glass shatters. Alastor daintily turns the page of his book, humming. Goodness, any louder and the racket will reach Velvette downstairs, and then they'll all be in hot water. Unfortunately, Alastor does not fear Velvette's retribution quite enough to intervene, nor does he actually care all that much about ending this soap opera early. It's truly impressive, the heights of melodrama being striven for at V Tower.

tagging @issushaim, @prince-liest, and @grayintogreen if you want to!! :]

[tired-fandom-ndn]

The Vees, after dating Alastor for a while and having no idea what he likes in bed, resorting to asking his friends for help.

Answers ranging for Rosie giving them a "you should talk to him about that" while knowing full well Alastor just isn't ready for them to see his tail, Mimzy admitting Alastor was a cuckhold in life (she assumed the Vees already knew about the murder-cannibalism stuff), Nifty misunderstanding the question and explaining how Alastor likes his bed made, and then there is Husk who cheerfully tells them (and if anyone ask, they didn't hear it from him) that Alastor has a big thing for being leashed, just loves it, just the mention of being on a leash makes Alastor go wild.

HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND, ANON? Like I have been thinking about the Vees going to Rosie and Alastor's other friends for advice this entire time lmao

Rosie's advice is mostly just "talk to him" but she also does give like. General advice for getting him to trust them with some pointed jabs about how she knows him sooooooo much better than they ever will. Also maybe some invitations to have lunch with her to talk, supposedly because Alastor asked her to help with making them proper overlords but it's mostly because she wants to see them try to choke down their meals at her favorite cafe. She's still their most reliable source of information.

Okay okay okay but wrt to Mimzy "she assumed the Vees already knew about the murder-cannibalism stuff" makes me think of my favorite headcanon which is that Velvette (and maybe Valentino) does NOT actually know about the murder-cannibalism thing but every bit of advice they're getting is based on them having that base level of knowledge lmao. Mimzy dances around how she and Alastor met and how they became friends (probably via murder) but she's more than happy to tell them that Alastor always seemed to prefer to watch. Maybe she knows what asexuality is and that it applies to Alastor, maybe she doesn't, she'd say the same thing either way. She doesn't even bother warning them how much he hates being touched without permission, they'll figure it out the hard way (Valentino loses an arm or two before he catches on).

Niffty goes in EXTREME detail about Alastor's bedtime habits. How he likes his bed being made, but also the materials he prefers for his bedding (silk pillowcases are NON-NEGOTIABLE), what he wears to bed (full pajamas before he gets comfortable where he's at and who he's with, boxers once he's comfortable because his fur gets HOT at night), how he likes to fall asleep to the radio, and his general bedtime routine. As his trusted housekeeper and friend, she knows EVERYTHING about his daily routine and while it's not what the Vees wanted when they asked her, it was. . . suprisingly helpful? Alastor just about melts the first time he actually stays the night with them and Valentino turns on his favorite radio station.

GOD the Husk one is perfect though, he absolutely fucking would. He tells them alllllll about how Alastor just loooooooves being leashed and controlled and dominated, it's his FAVORITE thing and he's totally fine just jumping right in without any prior discussion. Husk and Angel watch from the hotel with a bowl of popcorn as half of V Tower is blown to bits. Alastor storms back into the hotel, throws up a shield, and disappears into his room for several days. Husk would feel bad if he thought that the Vees would've gotten anywhere but he knows that Alastor wrecked their shit the moment he saw a leash or collar. Their relationship will be fine and, if it isn't, then Al's better off anyway.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Kicking my feet and thinking about established AVEEs pre-disappearance with canon more or less staying the same (without the Vox/Al rivalry or maybe them faking one?) and Angel completely unaware that the hotel's fun new sponsor is BFFs with his abusive boss only to get punched in the face by the betrayal of it later 😊

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I am delighted by your Vees/Alastor posts, and I have to ask, at what point does Velvette (+Valentino) figure out about the whole murder/cannibalism thing? Do they ever?

I'm glad you're enjoying my niche bullshit, anon!

Velvette would honestly put it together during one of their meetings with Rosie and would know for sure when Rosie casually mentions that they met when Alastor first manifested in the Cannibal Colony (a personal headcanon of mine). I think she would honestly be a bit freaked out at first; the Vees don't seem as explicitly and viscerally violent as a lot of other overlords are and I think Velvette is young enough to not have really experienced that aspect of Hell yet. She gets over it pretty quickly though, especially after spending so much time in the Colony with Rosie.

Valentino knows that Alastor is a cannibal, because he's old enough to have heard some of those infamous broadcasts, but he is 100% convinced that it's strictly a demon thing that he does because he has to and that it had nothing to do with Alastor's life. I'm betting that serial killer overlords are actually not that common and that the Vees' sins in life were considerably less violent than Alastor's, so the Vees who are less familiar with him don't expect the kind of life he lived. He finds out when Al mentions it in an offhand comment and he just sorta. Blue screens for a while. And then he immediately starts looking into every cannibal restaurant in Hell to make reservations and figure out which ones do delivery and does demon actually taste that good? Should he try it? Maybe they should offer cannibal options in the Tower's cafeteria— Vox and Velvette have to step in because he is 100% prepared to fuck their entire company trying to satisfy the appetite of a demon who can literally never be fully satisfied.

[cringefailvox]

one day there will be a third installment in my rosemedia series. One Day

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Alastor hanging out at one of Valentino's clubs and Val sitting between him and any other guests, one arm behind Alastor's shoulders and the other around his waist :)

(that's half out of affection and half to keep him from lunging out his seat to kill anyone who makes him angry)

[tired-fandom-ndn]

THE THING IS that I think it would have to be fairly recent, maybe a canon divergence where Alastor joins up with them after his return but before getting involved with the hotel and going public? Mostly because I really do like the idea of him basically being a pseudo-mentor for them, gradually transitioning into being part of their established relationship.

Vox being the one who knows Alastor best vs Velvette being the one he's instinctually most comfortable with vs Valentino introducing him to things he'd never once considered for himself before, all with Alastor helping them establish themselves as actual overlords to be respected and teaching them how to be powerful and confident on their own without relying on constantly changing trends.

God damn it, that post I made about Alastor joining the Vees has made me ship them all. What the fuck. Why am I like this.