#rabe hates it a lot

[just-barrow]

Interview below the cut:

‘I learned on the job’: Ben Mendelsohn’s new look

By Michael Idato

FEBRUARY 16, 2024

Captured by the lens of cinematographer Jaime Reynoso, Ben Mendelsohn’s Christian Dior cuts a slender, stylish figure in Apple TV’s The New Look. Mendelsohn delivers a luminous performance, played with nuance and subcutaneous emotion. What is not immediately apparent is that it all started in the most unpretentious of places: footy games and pizza nights.

Behind the new series sits an important friendship between Mendelsohn and writer/director Todd A. Kessler, formed in 2015 when Kessler cast Mendelsohn as family black sheep Danny Rayburn in his critically acclaimed Netflix thriller Bloodlines. Since then, the 54-year-old Melbourne-born actor says, an enduring friendship has formed.

“Todd is the easiest person, the most unstressed, unpretentious sort of person to be around,” Mendelsohn says. “I’ve taken him to meet everyone. I’ve taken him to the footy with all my mates. He’s one of those kind of guys. It was definitely the Roosters, but I can’t remember who they were playing,” adding with a grin: “I wish it was a Storm game because obviously, we’re better.”

The New Look sprang into being one night when Kessler “was at my joint, and he was knocking up a pizza from scratch,” Mendelsohn says. Kessler, who is a passionate reader of biographies, had started talking about the renowned French fashion designer Christian Dior, and about Dior’s “personal self, like an authentic self, if you like, and this other self, which he hates. He hates himself for not being able to be his authentic self while he conducts his business.”

“I just turned to him and said, well, when can we do this? Because I didn’t need any more than that,” Mendelsohn adds. “That’s such a universal kind of starting place. And I just went, well, when can we do it? Because after Bloodline, I’d do anything to try and work with him again on something where we’ve got a shot.”

In its final form, The New Look has more than a shot. It comes with a brilliant cast: Mendelsohn as Dior, French star Juliette Binoche as designer Coco Chanel, John Malkovich as Lucien Lelong, the French couturier in whose workroom Dior’s career began, and Game of Thrones star Maisie Williams as Dior’s sister Catherine, a French resistance fighter.

Written by Kessler with Jason and David Rabe, Amanda Coe, Carter Harris, Dani Vetere and Ning Zhou, the series explores the rise of Dior, his creation of “the New Look”, which revolutionised French fashion, his rivalry with Chanel and his close connection to his sister Catherine. Featured among the supporting cast: Cristobal Balenciaga, Hubert de Givenchy, Pierre Cardin and others. In terms of modern fashion history, it is an A-list lineup.

That “the New Look” was transformational for the Christian Dior brand speaks for itself. Founded in 1947, it took just seven years for Dior to account for half of Paris’s fashion export industry. It is owned today by the luxury conglomerate LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, headed by Bernard Arnault.

For Ben Mendelsohn, a boy who was raised on the outskirts of Melbourne, however, that’s a lot of haute couture history to take in. What does the starting point for researching a role like this look like? I ask Mendelsohn. “It looks bare,” he replies, smiling.

As an actor, he explains, he began with the man more than the world he inhabited. “When you’re coming at it, from my point of view, it looks like you want to build a frame, just a frame, and you don’t want to concern yourself where everything’s going to go and get all wound up in that because that’s not where the action is,” he says. “The action is this little field where you can try and surf.”

Mendelsohn took in “a sense of curiosity, unsureness, and I wanted to make sure I could hear the other person. That’s what I wanted to do. To try to get the mechanics of the accent, a sense of what the fabric world is like, what this is like, the family life, that kind of stuff. And that’s it. That’s it.”

Why? “Because I got taught by [Anthony] Hopkins something very, very important, and it changed the way I worked,” he says, declining to go into the details of what was contained in Hopkins’ acting tutorial. [The pair worked together on Spotswood in 1991, when Mendelsohn was just 22.] “I learned along the way,” he adds. “I learned on the job, talking to people.”

Perhaps the most striking revelation in the scripts themselves is not so much that life in World War II-era Paris was complicated – it was, as the history books attest to – but that not everyone’s loyalties lay where you might assume. Louis Vuitton, for example, had ties to the French [pro-Nazi] Vichy regime. Hugo Boss designed Nazi uniforms. Chanel was, for all intents and purposes, a Nazi spy. Cristobal Balenciaga was close to Spain’s Hitler-ally, General Franco. The list goes on.

Mendelsohn refrains from weighing in with an opinion except to say, essentially, that the historical record is there for examination. “I think as Aussies, we have a really strong sense of certainty about certain things; we have a high barrier for what’s good and what’s not,” he says.

What is in the series, he adds, is “the journey of that and the journey of how do you be in the world when you have this self that you don’t necessarily feel an overwhelming greatness about? How do you interact with it with values, integrity that meets reality and [situations where] you must adjust or fall off the side″⁣.

“In the modern world, that’s got a really beautiful message because [Dior] is a very sensitive person, he’s a person with a lot of insecurities, a lot of doubt. He doesn’t feel good about himself in many, many ways,” Mendelsohn says. “And yet he steps forward.”

Kessler, speaking in a separate conversation, attributes what many might feel is a free pass for a brand like Chanel, to the slow exposure of the extent of Coco Chanel’s interactions with the Nazis. Much of the detail was kept in government archives which were not released until years after the war, “and by then, many of the people spoken about had passed away, and it didn’t make much news at the time”, Kessler says.

A few days before our interview, speaking at a press event, Mendelsohn articulated the struggle to position the work of artists in the wider spectrum of both their personal politics and, in Chanel’s case, events taking place around her.

“I think that you can admire the work, you can be moved by the creation, and you can have a sense of that person behind it or not,” Mendelsohn said. “It doesn’t stop the power of the creation and as to how one feels about the person, well, that’s dependent on any number of things.

“We’re not trying to paint sort of a moral story here, we’re just really trying to look at the circumstances and people that are trying to find their way through it and how they do it, coming from where they come from,” Mendelsohn added.

To some extent, Dior himself comes out of The New Look historically unscathed. At the same time, Caroline Bongrand, the fashion historian and former editor-in-chief of the fashion magazine L’Officiel, has described Dior as a man who suffered a lifetime of heartbreaks, including the painful secret of his sexuality.

That secret, coupled with his professional commitment to the creation of objects of beauty, created a kind of binary, the idea of a man divided by his pain and his joy. As an actor, I ask Mendelsohn, does he understand that conflict, as an authentic self himself with a library of performed false selves; as a man of a thousand faces, does he understand a man with two?

“I would think that Christian had a lot more than two,” Mendelsohn replies, with a wry smile. “I think I’m more interested in trying to just bring to life a sense of this particular narrative about him. In terms of the stuff about sexuality, I just felt like culturally we’d already won that space.

“Going back into that would be diverting what we were hoping to do,” Mendelsohn says. “I don’t think the same in such a binary sense, but I don’t know as much as [Caroline Bongrand] does, and that’s a very deliberate choice. I want to know enough that I can get a resonant sense, a vibe if you like, and then I want to dream into whatever it is to do the scene in the moment.”

The series’ costume designer Karen Muller Serreau was another critical relationship, not just because she dressed Mendelsohn in duplicates of Dior’s clothes, but because she also created the duplicate Dior collections that feature in the series. To be clear, the series used no vintage pieces; Muller Serreau was granted access to Dior’s heritage archives, where the original collections are stored, in order to create the duplicates.

“She’s incredible, and it’s an incredible achievement,” Mendelsohn says. Muller Serreau’s knowledge, he says, was critical in filling the gaps in his own. “I try as much as I can to swim in my lane and [depend on] those who are expert to tell me what it’s going to be. I approach it much more like a kelpie, than I do as a guy that stands at the top with a sense of solid knowing.

“And when I go and do it on the floor, I’m not giving you a certainty, I’m just giving a proposition,” Mendelsohn adds. “It’s just a proposition every time. And I’m standing well beneath an audience, trying to offer it up, imagining you as much more able to read and understand things than I am, but giving it my best and trying to do so with sort of a love letter vibe.”

In one sense, Mendelsohn doesn’t give himself enough credit. His performance in The New Look is remarkable, the confirmation of an actor whose career has taken him from Danny Clarke in The Big Steal (1990) and Dazey in Metal Skin (1994), to Pope in Animal Kingdom (2010) and Henry IV in David Michod’s The King (2019), with a thrilling stopover in Rogue One, as Orson Krennic, in an unforgettable face-to-mask meeting with Darth Vader.

“They are all there, [but] it’s very easy to confuse the piece that an audience takes to be the thing that it was [because] what you carry with you is the whole history of working those long, long days in those long, long things.” Mendelsohn adds that much of the time he was “not necessarily feeling very confident about anything, or while demonstrating this sort of pose of like, yeah, I can do it all.”

When he looks in the mirror, even in costume, he still sees himself, not the character he is playing. “When I was younger, it bothered me a lot more; the real thing I lament about [the face] is its pathways are very, very set. I used to wish that I could somehow train the face to do completely different things, But what happened is that I’ve become less concerned with trying to control it or trying to manoeuvre it for effect.”

But, he adds, there are echoes of all them – Danny, Dazey, Pope, Orson Krennic and Henry IV – still with him. “They’re all there. And the ones that are the most important end up being the ones that people love, and Babyteeth, for instance, will remain incredibly important, whether or not it’s taken up,” he says.

“When people love them, they stay in you,” he says. “Danny, Trevor [from 1987’s The Year My Voice Broke], there’s a lot of them ... just moments, moments and moments. And I’ve got 40 years of them, mate. I wasn’t looking to become an actor. I really wasn’t. I wouldn’t have dreamed of it. I wouldn’t have dreamed of it.”

The New Look is on Apple TV.

[brbabcseu]

i’m humbly requesting a little stardew-esque fact sheet abt ximena. what would she love to be gifted. what does she hate. if i got her to max heart level what would happen. i love her

HI HEATHER I'M AN ABSOLUTE FLOP WHO CAN'T ANSWER ASKS IN A TIMELY MANNER pls take a looney tunes hammer and bonk me w it i give u permission

on the upside i have located my tablet pen and had a lot of fun putting a chart together for her but for real ! let's get the rundown

loves, in order: strawberries, rainbow shells, coffee, wine, complete breakfast, sunflowers, and solar essence :) what a surprise, the summer baby loves the sun. more at 11

hates, in order: cabbage, beer (more accurately, she's picky abt her beers-- she has one or two she actually likes and the rest taste like trash to her), void mayonnaise, void essence, mushrooms, coleslaw, and artichoke >:3 don't be fooled this girl loves her veggies, she'll tear up some broccoli rabe, but these few ones greatly offend her

relationships, in order: Javier (main squeeze- unless you can win her over 😳), her cousin @el-michoacano's Aurelia, her mama Fatima, Tuco, and Lalo teehee...

"Big Three" zodiac chart: cancer sun, virgo moon, libra rising

I used a SV sprite creator for Mena, Javi, and Lia but wasn't satisfied w how the other three were coming out so I used some other SV characters as a template and drew them manually!!

Ximena's probably one of the first NPCs you would meet and she'd be friendly out the gate, but she can be a little reclusive and shy. With a bundle of strawberries, a bouquet of sunflowers and a pretty shell she'll be yours ! Once she reaches max heart level she would have a heart event where you two are bundled outside in her backyard at night. She has a lot of pretty fairy lights strung up around the porch and you let her ramble about how stars used to be the primary mode of navigation. "Sky maps," Ximena sighs. "After that I fell in love with maps of all kinds. I couldn't get enough of it. I carry this with me-" she pulls out a worn, well-loved compass. "A present from my dad for my 12th birthday. Ever since losing everyone, on the days I'm really missing them, my husband, my brother... I pull this out and come outside, find South and sit in that direction." You ask her why. "South is Chihuahua. South is home. If I look back, it's like... I don't know, like I'm looking back in time. Like they're still there. All I have to do is look South on this compass and everyone's waiting for me at the dinner table." Huddled under one blanket against a light nighttime breeze, she lets you hold the compass, and it feels like the highest honor.

[stormcrow513]

Obligatory high disclaimer

So I've been wanting to rant about this for sometime

Ok there's this irritating thing I notice in certain fandom communitys, the ones where there's supernatural elements that have really old characters, like vampires, or Bleach which also involves old dead people, ghosts sorta, their kinda soul reapers but Japanese mostly, it's a maga/anime if you've not heard of it and want to look it up

Now you always got some people yelling pedophile about Edward/Bella, often these same people love Buffy/Angel or even Buffy/Spike,

Like if you go by the rules of both of these world where the vampires are might be 100 300 years old, but mentally a physically they are the age the died, they stop growing,

We ALL get that one of the nomber one reasons people argue AGAINST becoming a vampire is they frown age thing,

So from that prospective Edward who was what 17 when he died daring a 17 18 year old Bella is in no way pedophilia

Buffy whose 16 and Angel whose what late 20 is early 30s ? (Can't remember) and him making doe eyes at her outside her school at 15 while she's sucking on a lollipop,

One of those sounds creepier then the other,

Then we have Bleach where most everyone wants the protagonist Ichigo whose a 15 year old boy end up with Rukia who is like 300 years old though she passes for the same age as Ichigo or must since no one calls her out as looking to old to be going to Ichigos school,

And you see people who like that pair call other pairings where he's pair with one the other 100+ characters and calling it pedophilia,

Like you gotta say if one is so is the other

Which side note none those these are pedophilia as that's something specific to kids under what 10 there's another word for when it's teenagers and not just statutory rape there's another one I can't remember right now

Though their is one that could be called that,

One of the 100+ guys is apparently able to pass as a kid, and there's a sorta pairing of him with one of Ichigos like 11 year old sisters,

I literally never seen anyone call that gross or inappropriate even though the guys definitely treated as an adult by his society's as he is a Captain in his military

So I think if you're going to say that someone 100+ being with is pedophilia because how huge the age gap,

Then you gotta say ALL vampire/huma relationships are inherently pedophilia if the vampires over 100 years old even the ones like A Discovery of Witches cause Dianna might be what 30 but Mathew? Is 100+

If you're going to say that like Buffy/Anel is statutory rabe because she's 16 and Angel died older then that, but Buffy/Spike isn't because she's legal when they get together,

That makes sense,

It like goes back to the thing where people want to moralize hating something,

Like why can't you just say, I really don't like Bella/Edward but I love Buffy/Angel

Like it's so pointless to moralize these things there fictional, fiction is just for fun, it's not supposed to be about what's moral or right,

How many people love that Hanibel show, and love the guy eating other people, bet you only a couple of those people want to be a cannibal (in any large enough group you're going to have some sickos)

Like I love John Constantine but I'm pretty sure that if he was a real person we'd likely try and kill each other, I just know we would not get along, as were both to alike in some spots to different in others, we would not mesh,

But I love watching him and rooting for him on screen, like I enjoy watching those differences, it's fun exciting to see someone act in ways I wouldn't,

Like are there people who act out bad things in movies sure,

Some people even mention how there's a lot of people who take rom-coms as like how to manuals which there very much not how anyone should ever aproch a relationship,

Like didn't any of you play cops and robbers as kids, did you grow up to be either, I mean sure some probably did, but most of us were just playing,

I think some of you have forgotten what playing pretend was about,

It was just trying things on seeing different perspectives even some that were gross or scary, it was never really serious,

It's just playing

[naberiie]

Unconventional Piloting Maneuvers 

(or, how Rabé discovers that Fives does not, in fact, have his piloting licence)

✧ Star Wars Fictober Challenge, Day 4: Flight ✧

[1.2k words (?!), inspired by a conversation with @evaceratops about Fives’ horrible, horrible piloting ‘skills’ - no specific mission or planet. Just a couple of nerds doing their best!]

Rabé ducked around the corner, Fives hot on her heels – and directly behind him, cursing in three languages she knew and four she didn’t, were six extremely angry Zygerrians. Her grip tightened on the tiny disk in her palm.

As one let out a particularly impressive volley of Huttese curses directed towards Rabé’s father, she yelled back to the ARC, “I thought you said the cost was clear!”

“It was!” Fives shouted back, but she could tell he was close to whooping in pure excitment as he leapt ahead of her on the narrow streets, cleaving a path through the confused crowds, his kama snapping madly about his legs. “They must’ve left something at the bar, come back to get it – there were no other patrols scheduled!”

Rabé suppressed a groan as the landing docks came into view, rising tall and imposing above the market square. She pushed herself faster, the cold desert air lashing her hair into a frenzy, “What about a lookout? You were supposed to be the lookout-”

A market stall on her right burst into flames, blast bolts shredding the fabric lining of the tent. Screams erupted around them as red bolts rained around them. Fives spared the tent only a moment’s glance – the owner blessedly out – before he burst into a delighted cackled, “Looks like they’ve found some heat!”

Rabé risked a glance over her shoulder, and sure enough, their pursuers had drawn heavy blasters. Trandoshan make, made for big game hunting. From a distance. And set up on a support. She smirked, raising her eyebrow as they struggled to keep pace. “Lucky for us, they don’t seem to be very good shots!” Her lungs were aching, but the adrenaline snapped through her blood, too. “We have to get out of the way! They might hurt someone!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll give ‘em something to shoot at!” Fives cackled again, cheering them onwards – his bulk cut a clean path for her to follow, and by now the shuffling market customers had scrambled out of the way. Another round of dense blaster fire tore through the stone outer walls of the landing dock, and Rabé ducked through the entrance just before a massive piece collapsed behind her. Their ship, a run-of-the-mill junker, waited serenely for them, entirely unaware of the excitement they were bringing.

“You take the guns – I’m flying!” Fives called, punching the controls to the ramp and not waiting for it to unlock before grabbing her and hoisting her into the slowly widening space. She scrambled upright, the textured grips of the ramp biting into her palms, and ran for the cockpit as he followed, punching the controls for the ramp before it had even hit the ground.

A shot nearly clipped Fives in the shoulder, but he rolled at the last second, jeering at the angry Zygerrians as the scrambled over each other in their attempts to disable the ship. “Are we ready?”

Rabé was already standing at the sights, the mechanism pulled down – the ship’s controls were hot and live. Fives tore off his bucket and leapt into the captain’s chair as blaster fire snapped into their shields, sending showers of sparks and dust down the viewports. He jerked the controls and the ship lurched into the sky, a ‘ramp open’ alarm blaring in their ears.

And not a moment too soon – it seemed the Zygerrians had finally figured out their tech, setting it up, aiming for them – Rabé watched through the scopes as two – wait, where are the –

Another ship roared to life behind theirs. And then another – each piloted by two snarling Zygerrians, their ears pressed flat against their heads.

“…Fives?” She called, trying to keep her voice and grip on the weapons system steady. “We’ve got incoming!”

“I see ‘em!” He looked back at her and flashed her a reassuring grin. “You knock ‘em down, I’ll distract ‘em.”

She barely had time to agree before Fives snapped the controls hard to stern and the nose of their ship obeyed, as he hit the accelerator and they shot upwards. Rabé’s grip on the weapons system was the only thing keeping her from flying to the opposite end of the cockpit. She opened her mouth to yell at him before they listed to port, and her feet found the deck again. It was a lucky thing indeed that she hadn’t eaten much at the bar – the contents of her stomach would probably have been making a reappearance by now.

She forced her back to the viewport, the dizzying view of the marketplace and landing pad and city almost enough to make her collapse, and narrowed her eyes at the two pursuers, both in sleeker, faster starships. She’d modified the guns herself, though – they responded to her every touch, the shots slicing through the air at her command. She managed to clip one, but instead of careening to the surface or bursting into flames, a new astromech model immediately set to work. Rabé’s face twisted in annoyance, even though the little guy was just doing its job. Or maybe her face twisted from sky-sickness – Fives was pressing the ship faster, steeper, harder, she could feel it shaking around them as he pushed it to its limits – and then some.

He jerked starboard and nearly flipped them into a barrel-roll, and Rabé could not have said if that had been intentional or not. “We just gotta make it out of the atmosphere and then we can punch it back to Republic space!”

She also did not know how he could speak and pilot – or what he called piloting – at the same time. She grunted in response and then, giving up on the perfect clean shot, simply held down the activation node and sent a spray of return fire in the direction of their pursuers.

The little astromech couldn’t compete with that. Down one went, and it pushed the other into a frenzy – the pilot trying to match Fives’ reckless flying. He jeered at them before nosediving back down to the surface, and once again, Rabé’s grip on the machine – now white-knuckled and aching – was the only thing that kept her relatively tethered to one place.

The ship shook, complaining, alarms and system malfunctions of every kind blaring as they shot straight up – and then they were free of the planet’s atmosphere with a heart-stopping boom. Fives whooped in triumph and punched in the hyperspace coordinates – and the stars stretched, and they were flying level for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

Fives leaned back in the pilot’s seat and sighed, grinning madly to himself, before he spun around and leapt up for her.

“Did you get it? The intel?” His eyes were bright and shining as his hands found her hips, a wide, madly happy grin plastered on his face. His hands were the only thing keeping her upright – her body hadn’t yet seemed to realize they weren’t still spasmodically ‘flying’ through the atmosphere.

She nodded and held up the little drive and Fives let out a delighted cheer. He leaned in for a triumphant ‘succesful mission completed’ kiss, but instead of her lips, met Rabé’s outstretched hand instead. “…Rabé-?”

“Next time,” she wheezed, looking decidedly dazed and more than a little sky-sick, “I’m flying.”

[vuigardarling]

joan ferguson // lyrics from the smiths (big mouth strikes again, i started something i couldn’t finish, i know it’s over, girlfriend in a coma)

[lihikainanea]

Simplicity

I’m solid team Don’t-Cut-Beautiful-Lettuce-to-Smithereens

Just a salad of some red lettuce, shaved carrots, colourful tomatoes, parsley, chives. Cracked black pepper. I have some good blood orange olive oil and lots of salt and voila.

A good accompaniment to tonight’s dinner, which is moroccan chicken in the instant pot. I have a ~complicated~ relationship with chicken thighs--they are so much more flavourful, but god I hate the fat and how gross it is. Nevertheless, I used chicken thighs in it and just trimmed them to within an inch of their lives.

I am channeling my inner Alison Roman and I am feeling like quite the successful adult. I did a huge order of groceries and got ALL THE THINGS--so many tomatoes, dill, chives, oregano, parsley, fennel, onions, anchovies, preserved lemons, beans, halloumi, tofu, a million kinds of spicy chilies, lettuce, radicchio, zucchini, actual lemons. All the good things to make even gooder things. I even WASHED IT ALL and packaged it neatly in my fridge so it’s ready to go at a moment’s notice, and took out my two cookbooks from her for inspiration.

Broiled and slightly burnt broccoli rabe with lemony, anchovied bread crumbs. Summer squash baked in cream with tons of parm. Frizzled leeks. Crispy, spicy chickpeas topped with a lemony, minty yogurt. A green romesco over some barbecued tofu.

ALL THE YES.

[bbrandy2002]

Fool’s Rush In

Part 15

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warnings: mild violence

Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine – his pick during the social season – the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunken night, he finds himself with more than he bargained for.

Thanks @burnsoslow​ for the beta read.

---------------

Supposedly, the more a person suffered in the name of love, the more it showed they really cared. 

At least, that's what Riley thought. 

After nightfall of this particular evening -- when she least expected it -- she never realized how much truth that belief held. 

Or how much it would hurt to sacrifice the one person who made her believe she was worthy of love and saw who she really was on the inside.

Her dainty arm -- a delicate bronze in color, sleek, with a glittering red strap across one shoulder -- linked through the arm of the man she had grown to love more than life itself as they entered the palace ballroom. Working tirelessly over the last week to ensure everything went off without a hitch had taken its toll on her. All she could think about, as she shook hands and charmed dignitaries with a sparkle in those twinkling brown eyes, was how much sleep she planned to make up for after the ball ended.

This ball was to introduce the King and his new bride to the Cordonian court for the first time. A show of solidarity and, hopefully, strength. A way to establish that what happened in a tiny chapel 10,000 miles away weeks ago between two strangers wasn't a careless mistake, and that she could handle the duties bestowed on her as a common American woman. 

Or at least pretend she could for now.

However, for the King and the "Jewel of His Heart" whom he escorted through the curious crowd of pretentious naysayers in extravagant gowns and tuxes, with their fake smiles and tedious posturing ...

It was nothing less than fate. 

Riley was the key that unlocked that safe space deep inside Liam's heart that had been sheltered for so long, waiting for the perfect person to come along and open it. This was the place where he kept his most sacred feelings: a genuine love, never-ending laughter, joy, romance, ecstasy, and every dream he ever held for the future -- one he presumed would never exist in any form he longed for. 

But she didn't just unlock it. Riley shattered it wide open, where everything came flooding out at once and consumed him like a raging wildfire. 

And it was the most remarkable, intoxicating experience of his life. 

Liam showed her off all evening as they mingled during their rounds, danced, and conversed with the variance of nobility. She was the sexiest woman in that room, and he'd dare say the looks of envy shot in his direction from high-class men as he proudly cavorted her around didn't bother him in the least. Not that that was her only quality -- far from it. There were so many things about Riley that were special. But he couldn't help feeling a sense of pride that she was all his.

And without question, he was all hers.

Seated at the head table, Riley swallowed a morsel of the veal medallion she wanted to be served for this occasion. When given a choice between fish and lamb, the fish never stood a chance. The memory of that smelly, god-awful lunch with Regina three weeks ago was not something her palate had forgiven her for yet. As wonderful and savory as this extravagant meal, covered in a light brown mushroom sauce and served with a side of broccoli rabe, was, it couldn't hold a candle to what she craved the most: a slice of white pizza from Carmine's back in Brooklyn.

Or a slab or two of the New Yorker.

With maybe some cheesecake.

Covered in chocolate.

And a sausage rice ball. A Frito pie smothered with sour cream. Definitely a rainbow bagel from The Bagel Store. Barbecue ribs and beans from the mom-and-pop diner hidden just off the strip in Vegas. 

Of course, her grandma’s country fried steak with white gravy sounded delicious too.

For sure, a fried Twinkie like the one she ate at the New York State Fair in 2013. 

"You've outdone yourself, sweetheart," Liam marveled while wiping at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "The meal was delicious, and our guests appear to be enjoying themselves." The others seated at the table looked up, adding their compliments.

Still dreaming about a fat slice of New York-style pizza, Riley smiled graciously back at him, until she noticed the server refilling Liam’s glass with merlot, causing her to do a double-take. 

Hot tears pooled in her eyes, and a heavy feeling of sadness swelled in her chest as she panicked. "I asked for the Pinot Noir. Not the merlot,” she rasped meekly. “You don't like merlot, Liam. And the Pinot Noir was from the 'C' place where Duke Hakim lives. He'll be so disappointed and think I'm slighting his duchy. They’ll all hate me forever and ... wait a minute." She trailed off as a realization hit her, and Riley quickly glanced down at her plate before scanning each of the dishes from those seated around her.

The anxiety intensified; she could no longer suppress the heartbroken sob that wailed out of her. "Where are all the potatoes? We were supposed to have the potatoes, Liam. They didn’t serve the potatoes. Now the whole night is completely ruined, and it’s all my fault. I'm such a failure as a queen, and you should just send me to the dungeon now and throw away the key. I apologize to all of you for my incompetence and the lack of potatoes with your meal." Riley’s red-hot face, full of tears, plunged into the palms of her hands, then quickly sprung back up as Liam hesitantly tried to place a hand on her shoulder. A strong urge to use the restroom ended her crying spell as if it never happened. “Oh, oh. I gotta pee so bad. I’ll be right back.” She gave a warm smile and excused herself as she pushed her chair back and scurried merrily toward the nearest restroom.

Liam, Regina, Leo, Maxwell, and Olivia watched with confusion as she happily took off, not knowing what to say or what to make of the sudden shift in her moods.

“What the hell was that?” Olivia scowled, her eyes fixed on Liam.

“Is she all right, dear?” a concerned Regina asked.

Liam scratched the back of his head, nearly at a loss for words. “I ... I don’t know. I’ve never seen her that upset … especially over potatoes.” He paused in thought. “She was a little on edge this morning. Still, she’s been working a lot on the preparations and everything else going on. It must have gotten to her.”

Maxwell shrugged. “Maybe she just finally snapped.” 

Leo shook his head, swallowing a forkful of beef. “Or maybe she has the premenstrual syndrome.”

“Leo!” The group admonished.

“What?” Leo bit back, taking in each of their disappointed glares. “Don’t act like it’s not true. Trust me, when I have cramps and bloating, I can go from a happy little Leo to a Bertrand, just like that.” He snapped his fingers, following it up with a frown. “It ain’t pretty, you all.”

Maxwell looked across the table at Liam and agreed, “He has a point.”

Wanting to shed his skin and slither away, Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we not discuss something so personal and private, especially while several hundred people are dining around us?”

“I’m just saying, little brother, that you need to be understanding and gentle during this special time of your wife’s 'lady business.' You should speak softly and slowly to her because Shark Week messes with a girl's mind, man. Their brains short-circuit, and there’s nothing left up there but a couple of crickets and man-eating rattlesnakes. One second, you think she’s fine, but if you’re not careful, in the next second, you’ll find yourself with two venomous fangs rattling from your nut sack, dude. She will tear you apart and spit you out like a rabid dog. You can make it through these next few days, but only if you take my advice.”

“That is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Olivia spat, boring her eyes into him. “And you’ve said a lot.” She turned to Liam, whose face was slightly pale and void of expression. “Don’t listen to his sexist drivel. Why you haven’t declared him insane yet is beyond me. You should have sent him away with that filthy hairball to Valtoria you had caged earlier.”

“IT WAS MONGO!” Leo erupted, causing the dishes on the table to clatter as he jumped to his feet and hovered over the redhead. Every head in the ballroom whipped around to see what was happening, and a deafening silence filled throughout. Even the orchestra stopped playing their classical tune.

A wide-eyed Regina smiled sheepishly as she glanced out at the quiet audience who were waiting to see what all the fuss was about. She thought fast before calling out, “We were just playing a little game of … 'It was Mongo.'” The former queen snatched Maxwell’s Sunset Rum punch from his hand, thrusting the drink up at her stepson, towering beside her, and instructed in a grandmotherly tone, “Be a good lad, Leo. You lost this round. It's time to chug-a-lug, my boy.” With his face burning, Liam slid down in his seat.

“Ooooo, I wanna go next.” Maxwell bounced excitedly while the guests resumed the festivities. "How do we play?"

“I think I want to go, too,” Liam replied, straightening back up before hurling his napkin on the table. “I’m going to go find Riley.”

-----------------

Riley exited the ladies' room, clutch in hand and a fresh dab of clear gloss gleaming on her pink lips. She stopped walking just as the door closed behind her and smiled with a look of surprise at seeing Liam leaning against the opposite wall. "What are you doing out here?"

He pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between them and meeting her in the middle of the empty corridor. They wrapped their arms around each other, indulging in the warmth of their lovers' embrace. "Would you believe me if I told you I just missed you?" he answered, placing a tender kiss on her lips that skimmed lower to her jawline. 

"I missed you, too," she moaned with each gentle pressure of his seductive lips, suckling and nibbling along the spot that trailed behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. "But something tells me that's not the only reason you left the ballroom."

Their gazes met simultaneously. "Leo."

Riley chuckled softly. "Do I even want to know?"

Liam sighed, smoothing back a loose hair behind her ear. "You know my brother and his wonderful words of wisdom." There was no way in hell he would tell her what they really discussed after she left; he could only imagine her embarrassment. "Everyone was just a little worried about you, that's all."

"I didn't mean to scare everyone. I just wanted tonight to be perfect. Instead, so many things went wrong. I can only assume what the court thinks about me now." She lowered her gaze to the red carpeting where they stood. "I let you down."

"I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Riley, sweetheart, you can never let me down. Do you understand that?" Liam lifted her chin; her tentative eyes stared back at him for a moment before nodding. "Good. And just so you know, our guest are used to bombings, stabbings, kidnappings, shootings, and terror plots at most of my palace events --"

"Wait. What?"

" -- I assure you, just the fact alone, that none of that took place tonight, and they're all going to leave here soon -- alive -- will be huge for them. Not having potatoes with the meal or the right wine was the least of their worries. They will consider this night a success. And a testament to their new queen. You should, too. I'm so very proud of you."

"I have so many questions about everything you just said."

Liam smiled, caressing Riley's petal-soft cheeks and lowering his head to kiss her again. "All in due time, my love.”

Riley let out a deep, drawn-out yawn she lightly covered with her palm before stretching and rolling her neck. A couple of weeks' worth of planning and endless decisions had left heavy tension in her shoulders and overwhelming exhaustion like nothing she'd felt before. None of it went unnoticed by Liam, who placed his hands on her shoulders and gingerly kneaded the taut muscles. 

"What do you say about heading back to our quarters, taking off all of your clothes, and I'll be up soon to massage this gorgeous body from head to toe? And hopefully, when I'm through, you'll massage parts of me, too … with any part of your body that you'd like." His lips curved into an inviting smile.

"Mmm, that's tempting," she purred, rubbing her hands over his ample chest. "But I can't just leave. It's the Queen's Ball. Without me, it's just ... The Ball." She chuckled, despite herself.

“Don’t you worry your pretty little panties over the ball. Just go upstairs and take them off. I’ll handle everything down here. Then … “ He squatted down to her eye level. “ … I’ll handle you.”

Her heart fluttered every time Liam spoke to her that way. The way he desired only her. She bit the corner of her lip teasingly. “I love you so much.”

Liam smiled. “You better. You’ve got one hell of a husband. I’d even venture to say you’re the luckiest woman on the whole damn planet right now.” Before Riley could respond to his jest, he put both of his hands on her cheeks to hold her head still and began placing playful, wet smooches all over her face, causing her to laugh riotously. After a few seconds of her squirming around and cackling at his antics, he paused to look at her. “You know I love you, too. Now go on up. I’ll be right behind you soon.” 

With a pat to her backside, they went their separate ways.

---------

Liam returned to the ballroom, having offered to finish what little time was left without her. He would offer his apologies for her absence, but in reality, the King couldn’t have cared less what anyone there thought. Since his bachelor party weeks ago, he had grown from a man who had no choices to one who made his own. His marriage and relationship with Riley came first. Her wellbeing was the main priority -- to hell with anyone who had a problem with that.

As Riley placed a hand on the elegant wooden handrail of the grand staircase and took the first step up, her thoughts meandered to where she had been in her life one month ago and how vastly it had changed in such a short time. For the first time in years, she was happy, and it felt so good to be in that place where she could finally let go of the past and move on. Liam was a game-changer, and she was thoroughly convinced he was the only person on the planet who could have gotten her out of her own head and to this level of blissful existence.

Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, she reached into her clutch to pull out the key card to her quarters, exhaustion slowing her strides. Shuffling past a row of closed office doors and framed artwork, she made her way to the residential wing. 

The squeak of a door behind her and the click of heels drew her attention, causing her to stop and turn to see who was there. 

The color drained from her face as Madeleine casually stepped out, her hands behind her back and a devious, unsettling grin cemented on her face. 

It wasn't the fear that made Riley's heart pound with a sickening thud, but more shock than anything. No one had seen or spoken to the Countess since the confrontation in Las Vegas when she showed up unexpectedly after finding out Liam had married Riley the night prior. 

Now, suddenly, there she was, as if out of nowhere, a gleam in her eye, looking all too pleased to have this run-in with Riley.

"A little dramatic, don't you think?" Riley scoffed, taking one step back the closer Madeleine approached. "What are you even doing here?"

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about," she answered contemptuously. Her green eyes drifted to one of the cameras mantled at each end of the hallway. Riley placed a shaky hand over her stomach, letting out a low, relieved breath, hoping that was the truth. "Not physically, anyway."

"Well, that sounds promising," Riley replied sardonically. "Now, if you don't mind ..." She turned away, wanting nothing more than to escape this conversation and make it back to her quarters. 

Madeleine reached out and grabbed the Queen by her elbow, pulling her back and harshly twisting her around so they were now face-to-face. "You're not going anywhere until I'm through with you," she hissed with an icy glare. "I told you I would make you regret what you've done."

Riley jerked her arm, trying to free herself. "Let go of my arm, Madeleine!" 

"Not until you hear what I have to say."

"I'm not interested in anything you have to say! Now LET ME GO!" Riley hoped someone heard her yell or at least witnessed what was happening on the camera. Where the hell is security?

While continuing to struggle to free herself, she reached up with her free hand in an attempt to pry off Madeleine's bony fingers that were squeezing tight grooves around her elbow, her manicured nails digging deeper into Riley's skin. "You're hurting me. I said to let me go."

"Very well, then." The woman, who had twice lost her chance at the crown, released her firm grasp, knowing that the momentum would cause Riley to stumble back as soon as she let go. 

Just as predicted, Riley planted a foot behind her for leverage before drawing her arm back as hard as she could, one last time. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a sharp gasp that sounded well down the corridor. Riley sailed backward, tripping over herself and toppling to the ground. She finally landed with a hard blow on her backside, the rear of her head just inches from slamming to the floor.

A shockwave of pain coursed up Riley's spine from hitting so abruptly. Before she had a chance to respond or process what happened, Madeleine crouched down beside her, holding a DVD up and gaining Riley's attention. 

The pain had morphed into a throbbing ache that was soon forgotten as the Queen stared quizzically at the object displayed in front of her like a grand prize. 

"What is that?" her voice trembled.

"It's my ace in the hole," Madeleine stated, then wagged a finger. "Someone used to be a very naughty girl." 

Furrowing her brows, Riley responded. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know precisely what I mean, but just in case, please allow me to refresh your memory," Madeleine smirked before rising to her feet and prancing around as if she were having the time of her life. "I did a little digging after my brief visit to Las Vegas and came across a man who knew you very, very well at one time. I made some calls. We exchanged e-mails, a transfer of money or two. And he was all too eager to accept my offer of payment for any dirt he could give me on you."

There was no point in asking "who" -- she already knew; the thought made her nauseous. Riley closed her eyes and muttered. "Tyler?"

"Yes," Madeleine beamed, " Your ex-husband. He had a lot to say about you."

"I'm sure he did. Does it even matter to you that he's a liar and a cheat -- not to mention greedy? He would make up anything if he thought he could profit off of it."

"Oh, it matters. Personally, I don't believe a damn thing he had to say. Honestly, Riley ... even someone like you could have done better than that slime."

Riley cringed in pain as she pushed herself off the floor and turned to her oppressor. "Just get to the point, Madeleine. Clearly, he gave you something you thought was valuable enough to use against me, so just spit it already."

Madeleine smiled, "How very astute of you. You're correct. He did." She held up the disc as Riley regarded it suspiciously. "On this disk are several hours of the two of you ... together. Very graphic, if I do say so myself." Riley's jaw dropped upon hearing those words as Madeleine continued, "Now don't worry. I only watched it long enough to make sure the video was legit --"

"Give me that!" Riley reached out to snatch the DVD, but Madeleine pulled it away just out of her grasp. A burning sensation filled inside her chest and spread across her face. "You're lying. I never made videos like that."

"Oh, I think you did," the blonde countered with a mirthful tone. "You just didn't know about it. Your ex admitted as much to me ... an asshole move, for sure. But nonetheless, I purchased the copy from him for a hefty sum. And ... well ... here we are now. You're more than welcome to take this disc and see for yourself; I have it downloaded as a backup, knowing you'd want proof."

At that moment, all Riley wanted was for Liam to walk down that corridor where she now stood, pick her up in his arms, whisk her away to safety, and tell her it was all a bad dream. Not that she did anything wrong -- she was married at one time to the man, presumably on the video, and would have been a consenting adult. 

No, it was the fact that Tyler Brooks had taken intimate videos with her during their marriage, without her knowledge. Now Madeleine had possession of them.

God only knew what she planned to do with them, but Riley had a pretty good idea. "What do you want?" she whispered in defeat, afraid to hear the answer.

Madeleine grinned from ear-to-ear. "For you to leave Cordonia tonight and never return, or I release everything to the press."

Riley shook her head. "No. As much as I don't want anyone to see that video, I did nothing wrong, and I won't be blackmailed or intimidated by you so that you can get your grubby little paws on the crown."

"Is that so?" It wasn't a question so much as a remark meant to convey who was in control. 

Maintaining her position, Riley raised a brow, refusing to give in.

Madeleine was far from giving up, though; she had manipulation in her blood. "Very well, then. I'll release the video in the morning. It should be interesting to see how the world reacts to yet another scandal by this monarchy. Their Queen plastered all over the internet again, except this time, uploaded on every porn site on the web. 

"The news will run the story with your blurred-out silhouette in the background. Your father will see it, and his business will become a target.: Your friends. Family. Students. They'll all be inundated with your sexual proclivities. But the worst part will be the tribunal. The council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of queen on some American nobody, but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame that he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Do you genuinely believe you're worth all the trouble it will cause him?"

Riley froze. She knew Madeleine was taunting her with the people she cared about the most. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass each of them. But to possibly cause Liam to lose his legacy, his birthright, and the rulership of a country he loved so much? It was something she couldn't shake. 

Staring blankly, twisting the bands of gold that belonged to Liam's mother, she couldn't get the question Madeleine just asked out of her mind: Did Riley believe she was worth the trouble it would cost him? 

Nothing was damning on that video, aside from the fact that she never knew it existed. But she already had so much to prove; another video in the press' hand would tarnish Liam. Maybe the Countess of Fydelia was right: He would lose it all.

"Time is ticking," Madeleine reminded Riley as she tapped her watch. "What's it going to be?"

----------

@burnsoslow​ @dcbbw​ @ao719​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @jessiembruno​ @texaskitten30​ @janezillow​ @merridithsmiscellany-blog​ @mskaneko @callmeellabella​ @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @drakexwillow @caroldxnvxrs​ @jovialyouthmusic​ @forthebrokenheartedthings​ @bebepac​ @kingliam2019​ @lovablegranny​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @amandablink​ @liamxs-world​ @choiceskatie @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie @charlotteg234 @annekebbphotography​ @txemrn​ @thecordoniandiaries @alyssalauren​ @cordonianroyalty @monsoonbloom12 @mom2000aggie​ @theroyalheirshadowhunter​ @princessleac1​ @kimmiedoo5​ @graceful-leah​ @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @thegreentwin​ @gkittylove99​ @cinnamonspongecake @lifeaskim @neotericthemis​ @pink-diamond13​ @walker7519 @natureblooms24​ @yourmajesty09​ @gabesmommie1130​ @sweatyrysconnoisour @kat-tia801​ @debmcg1106

Liam x MC: Cordonia-gothqueen

FRI Series Tags:   @narrytheworld​​  @queenwalton​  @cordonianprincess​        @zaffrenotes​ @zilch3​  @drrookie​ @sfb123​​

[avocado-hater]

My thoughts on AHS Double Feature E4 (SPOILERS):

- The Chemist worked for the Army? Well that could connect this mess with part 2.

- No Gardners? I won't lie to you, i'm happy about it, i was kinda tired of the family drama.

- Macaulay Culkin is the best addition to the cast since Adina Porter, i hope we get to see him in upcoming seasons.

- Everytime Sarah Paulson says "ssshhhit!" a puppy is rescued by a lovely lady.

- Martha Washington lesbian smut fanfiction? Yeah i mean now i get why she turned into one of the hot vampires. That's nothing but genius.

- Belle dancing in front of the pride flag while high on coke when his husband is an homophobic asshole? I love it.

- GO BELLE! He deserved it! That was some community service if you ask me.

- I wanted to be like Lark when i was in highschool, but i don't want to be like Lark anymore, i wanna make out with Lark. Billie Lourd looks stunning!

- The whole "you hate everybody because you realized you're not talented enough for your big dreams" is very personal.

- I think Evan Peters flashed us. His stage name and the performance were the most horrifying things from this episode. But it was awesome and he is awesome.

- Now even tho i think this episode was unnecesary because we didn't lear anything new about the pill and we could have learn about Belle and Austin backstories in a 3 minutes flashback, i think it was refreshing and way more entertaining than the last one.

- This episode prooves that The Gardners are like the worst thing about this season. Sorry Doris.

- Frances Conroy is the queen of this season PERIOD T.

Thoughts on the upcoming episode:

- Creepy Alma, her dealer and her hot mom are back. Alma looking creepier than ever.

- Doris turning into a pale person theory is correct and apparently, Alma will have something to do with it, i think she will sneak it into her pregnancy pills pile or something. Anyways, poor Doris, she was the most bearable member of that family.

- Maybe Doris is giving birth to her child this episode? Idk but i'm sure Lily Rabe will be screaming a lot and i'm into it.

- Harry is struggling, maybe he will finally realize that giving drugs to his daughter is bad.

- TB Karen walking into the ocean with blood on her face? Oh damn.

[foureyedfreezy]

There has been a lot of hate toward Riri Williams for the past 5 years. They call her a “Mary-Sue” and a “sociopath”. Haters were desperate enough to make up a story that Lexi Rabe was harassed by black people thinking she’ll play Ironheart when in reality it was white people hassling her for autographs, then starting this “Morgaan should be Ironheart” campaign. Many anti-SJW, anti-woke, comicgating Trump supporting haters are going to attack Dominique Thorne for playing Riri. Some of them are already trolling her social media page. 

Whether you like the casting or not, give Dominique and the Ironheart staff your support. We don’t need another John Boyega, Anna Diop, or Halle Bailey situation. 

[g1naknowsbest]

Since I’m going to try and be active on here now here’s some thing about me

✨: I’m a minor. Absolutely no nsfw dms OR followers please.

🪄: I’m a lesbian. If you don’t support the lgbtq+ community get off my page

🍄: My favorite shows atm are: Ahs, B99, Modern family, Wandavision, And parks and rec. I’m always open to recommendations though! Actually I’d really like that

🌿: Some games I love are: Danganronpa, Zero escape 999, Omori, and I’m trying to get back into fnaf

🪵: My favorite/comfort actors are: Kathryn Hahn, Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe, Aubrey Plaza, and Chelsea Peretti

💫: My comfort characters atm are: Cordelia (ahs), Agatha (Wandavision), Claire (Modern family), Gina (B99), Hiyoko (Danganronpa), Celestia (Danganronpa), Mikan (Danganronpa), Kirumi (Danganronpa), Tenko (Danganronpa), Miu (Danganronpa), and Himiko (Danganronpa) disliking any of these characters is valid just don’t bring hate about them onto my page :)

🪴: Some characters I heavily relate to are: Gina Linetti, Agatha Harkness, Spinel (Su), Violet Harmon, Mitsuba Sousuke, Himiko Yumeno, Miu Iruma, Celestia Ludenburg, and Kokichi Ouma. Feel free to judge me lmao

🌵: Some things that make me uncomfortable/I’d rather not talk about are: The name Ryan, Tenko sexuality debates, School, as well as a lot of Jessica Lange’s characters while I do love and respect her as an actress her characters remind me of a toxic person in my life

🌼: Please do!!: Dm to be friends, Talk to me about your interests, reblog/like my posts, Recommend movies/shows/books/music/ect.

That’s it for now I think. I’ll update this when I need to. Feel free to ask any questions! 💞

[angelicmichael]

AHS red tide episode 1 and 2 thots!! Sorry I’m late this time lmfao. Spoilers ofc and kinda long cause I always have a lot to say when it comes to ahs ig 😶

Y’all the beginning alone was so fucking good

It started off creepy right off the bat and ngl.. that has me so relieved bc ahstories wasn’t that creepy/scary at all imo

Watching this season just makes me nervous bc I didn’t rlly like ahstories but.. I’m already impressed hehe

Seeing lily rabe play a mom again tho 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

I hate using this word but Finn Witrocks character is 100% a dilf djdjd no other way to say it 😭

AHHH Sarah Paulson !!!

I know I just write fanfic but dude- the fucking scene where Finn Witrocks character is writing and just staring at a blank document and slamming the delete button- LIKE I FUCKING RELATE TO THAT SM FJDJDJD 😭😭

Loveeee the creepy vibe of the town!! Like the mysterious and creepy side characters and just the town itself is everything. It kinda reminds me the town in riverdale is or even ‘welcome to nightvale’ type of vibe 👁

I just love the creepy town trope idk haha

But lily and Finns characters are so cute together 🥺 like what (or atleast in the first episode.. yikes)

But also.. Evan and Frances’s characters doing karaoke was the cutest shit ever to me !

Idk.. it’s just kinda making me emo seeing a lot of the old actors back in ahs 👉🏻👈🏻 I’m so fucking happy most of the cast is ahs alumni lol (unlike in ahstories 🤐)

This is probably such a unpopular opinion but y’all- I wish Emma roberts was in this season lowkey. And Cody ofc djdjd

Idk why I’m thinking sm of other shit but like.. so many things in this episode reminded me of past ahs seasons??

Like the grocery store reminded me of cult.. Lily’s character craving meat reminded me of murder house..

But also- this reminded me SO MUCH of ‘the shining’.. like the parallels are insane tbh (espically in the second episode!)

The first episode was so good!! I loved it 🥺

I thought ahstories made me nostalgic and miss ahs but holy fuck.. watching actual ahs again truly feels so good lmfao

But y’all.. It didn’t exactly register wtf the black pills would do until I saw him make the meat smoothie 😳 like.. sir STOP

Maybe it’s bc I’ve been watching twilight recently but like- this is reminding me sm of twilight 😭 and I’m honestly not mad at it

LARKKK AAAAA

I rlly hope we see more of her!! I love her sm

I’m 100% writing for her in the future sorry not sorry djdjd

I can’t wait to watch more of this tho!! I absolutely loved the first two episodes- holy shit

I wasn’t expecting to like this season as much as I do tbh.. (just bc of how much ahstories kinda.. disappointed me tbh djdjd) but I’m so glad I chose to watch it

Literaly can’t wait to see more of this next week !

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE UNDOING

You guys. Remember that time I said I was going to try to watch new movie releases and do more wig reviews in preparation for the weirdest Oscar season ever? Well instead I watched a lot of prestige TV. So. Here we are! Movies be damned, there are a lot of tv shows with women in bad red wigs and I watched them! The Undoing is one of those shows. Having already suffered through two whole seasons of Nicole Kidman in another David E. Kelley prestige HBO show (AND THE HORROR OF HER WIGS!) I wasn’t sure if I could stomach another one, but you guys - this one is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. It’s in NYC and her wig is curly not straight!!! Let’s discuss (and a whole lot more!) I will be going episode by episode...

Episode 1: The Undoing

First off, I love that this episode name is just the same name as the show. I can already tell we are in for some real creativity with this show! Anyway, we meet Nicole Kidman who probably has a character name but who cares! She is super rich and married to Hugh Grant which I absolutely love as a fan of the Paddington movies - she is the villain in the first one and he is in the second - and this show already feels like a villain supergroup movie because I definitely hate both of them. They’re both doctors, their palatial house looks like a magazine, and they have a seemingly well adjusted tween who doesn’t look like either of them (but he is the kid actor from A Quiet Place and Ford v Ferrari so ok I guess he can act?) Their one problem is that said kid wants a dog but they can’t have one because Nicole Kidman tells the kid that Hugh Grant once accidentally allowed his family dog to run into traffic and his family blamed him and that definitely sounds like a lie! A big little lie!!!

Speaking of which, Nicole Kidman’s wig. As we know from my harrowing journey through her Big Little Lies wig, David E. Kelley likes her as a redhead and I hate all her wigs. This wig harkens back to the 90s when she was still a scientologist and didn’t wear wigs all the time (what a different time!) Unlike back then, Kidman now has a new terrifying face to match her terrifying wigs. Truly, I don’t know what plastic surgeon she pissed off but her mouth is in a constant Joker grin and she is barely able to move parts of her face anymore? The wig is a tangled mess but the true horror is the seamwork - the part is from places not real and also imagined and the texture is something close to a Halloween fright wig.

Which brings me to the real theme of this show: Nicole Kidman’s addiction to midweight duster coats. She owns them all, y’all. We first see her in this green velvet number which looks like a robe, spans no seasons, and also carries you nowhere. BUT paired with this red curly mess, it does look like she is paying homage to Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus, and for that I say: amen. And also: PLEASE PUT A HEX ON THIS ENTIRE SHOW PLEASE.

Now to the plot??? Nicole Kidman sends her kid to a fancy schmancy private school and she is on some fundraiser committee with her only gal pal, Lily Rabe (praise be!) plus some other harpies that definitely won’t matter to the rest of this show at all. Also present is a new interloper of indeterminate ethnicity who has the audacity to be young, attractive, bearing curly hair WITHOUT a wig, and a small child who she has to feed from her own perfect bosom. THE HARPIES ARE SO PISSED BY BREASTFEEDING Y’ALL.

Anyway, this interloper chick is definitely weird and shows up at Nicole Kidman’s gym (where she does rigorous foot pointing exercises and somehow tames her wig back, kind of). The chick approaches Kidman in the buff with a combination of aggressiveness and openness that makes Nicole Kidman really uncomfortable though I definitely choose to believe that she’s mainly intimidated by bitch’s non-wigged hair.

Fast forward to the school fundraiser where Nicole Kidman switches up her midweight duster coat obsession for a friggin cape IF YOU CAN EVEN and all the harpies are present in their best dresses which could all definitely be worn to the Golden Globes and somehow the interloper is there also in a gown. HOW DARE SHE! THE HARPIES ARE PISSED! So is the vile Donald Sutherland (Nicole Kidman’s dad who just HATES Hugh Grant for reasons unknown). 

But Hugh Grant leaves for a medical conference just as....dun dun dun....the interloper is murdered!!! ALSO NICOLE KIDMAN CAN’T REACH HUGH GRANT. Also he left his cellphone in a random junk drawer! I refuse to believe this magazine apartment has a junk drawer! Kidman’s wig magically stays halfway up without use of pins or elastics because that is just how horrifying this wig is! This show is so stupid!

Episode 2: The Missing

So Hugh Grant is fully on the lam and mainly NOT at that medical conference which may or may no exist but Nicole Kidman is not interested in googling it and that hot interloper remains to be murdered. Also Nicole Kidman’s wig is still a tangle of complete and utter nonsense AS IS THIS SHOW. Also this wig has two settings: dried out desert or oily sweat lodge. This episode starts on sweat lodge. Anyway, Nicole Kidman goes looking around for Hugh Grant and only finds more questions at his hospital and then goes to her job where she is kind of an ineffectual couples counselor. Also David E Kelley/Nicole Kidman prestige HBO shows I guess always require some couples counseling that is highly questionable.

ANYWAY! I forgot to mention that the lead investigator in this murder is Edgar Ramirez who is hot but also kind of shifty. He starts questioning Nicole Kidman about all kinds of crap involving Hugh Grant and then lays down some hard truths: HUGH GRANT SUCKS!!! He got fired from his hospital job curing children’s cancer after he got too close to one of his patients’ moms and DUH IT’S THE HOT INTERLOPER. Nicole Kidman has to gather a calming circle of midweight duster coats to even deal with this new development. 

I really love that Hugh Grant is basically just starring as himself in the mid 90s (REMEMBER DIVINE BROWN?) and I’m kind of here for it. Regardless, Hugh Grant is now the prime suspect in this whole mess and Nicole Kidman’s beautiful magazine apartment is now being completely pulled apart and all she can do is look at her terrifying face and touch it with her terrifying talons and pack up all her midweight duster coats and get the eff out of there. BUT TO WHERE?! 

DUH NICOLE KIDMAN OWNS A BEACH HOUSE OBVS. So she drives out there and is somehow able to braid her damn wig! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE. THE WIG IS VERY UPSET ABOUT IT AS AM I. She and her tangled tiny braid (she has so much hair in that wig - why is the braid so small??) stare out into the ocean a lot and ignore her child. Also new coat alert and this one is PLAID!!!

And then Hugh Grant shows up and is super creepy and chokey. He tries to explain his actions and confirms his affair with hot interloper which is basically just all a plot synopsis of Fatal Attraction but says that he definitely did NOT murder her. WE SHALL SEE ABOUT THAT. Nicole Kidman calls 911 anyway. 

Episode 3: Do No Harm

OMG GUYS THIS EPISODE STARTS WITH EDGAR RAMIREZ SHOWING UP AT NICOLE KIDMAN’S BEACH HOUSE IN A HELICOPTER. How much money is the NYPD really willing to spend on Hugh Grant? All of it? Anyway, Hugh Grant ends up in jail (which is not as fabulous as his prison time in Paddington 2) and we find out that he fathered that baby the hot (murdered) interloper had and willfully breastfed in front of those harpies in episode 1. THIS SHOW IS WILD AND ALSO STUPID.

Speaking of wild and stupid, Nicole Kidman visits Hugh Grant at Rikers and we are led to believe that Rikers Island has a COAT CHECK?!?!?! Look: she shows up in one of her millions of midweight duster coats and in the visiting room she has none. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SHOW?!?!?! THIS ALSO HAPPENS TWICE BECAUSE THEY CHECK BOTH HER AND HER SON’S COATS THE SECOND TIME WHAT.

Hugh Grant maintains his innocence and somehow Nicole Kidman’s bent ass wig is convinced and they hire a fabulous defense lawyer which the vile Donald Sutherland is none too thrilled about paying for and spends lots of quiet time at the Frick Museum about it also WTF show you’re willing to pay for the Frick and not frickin wigs. Also Nicole Kidman is confronted by the hot interloper’s husband and it does not go over well. No social interactions in this show make any sense, also.

In the end, Nicole Kidman gets ANOTHER midweight duster coat, Edgar Ramirez questions Nicole Kidman AGAIN but this time with video surveillance footage of her walking outside the hot interlopers studio...the night she was murdered and YES IN THAT DAMN CAPE. WAIT WHAT?! Also even in surveillance footage, Nicole Kidman’s wig is a mess.

Episode 4: See No Evil

This episode introduces the idea that Nicole Kidman really likes taking walks. Long walks, nighttime walks, sleepwalks? Nobody knows, especially Nicole Kidman. When asked why she was walking near the murdered interloper’s studio, Nicole Kidman just kinda shrugs and says “I take walks!” AND EVERYONE BELIEVES HER!!! WTF IS THIS SHOW. It should be noted that this long walks are taken in her usual midweight duster coats (WHICH ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT COLORS AND FABRICS FROM OTHER MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COATS SHE OWNS) and very not sensible boots. Her walks can last between 10 minutes and 10 hours and who is to say where she even goes and who she is followed by? Maybe the interloper’s husband follows her around or maybe it’s in her head? Maybe she murdered the interloper and didn’t quite remember it? Regardless: it’s a lot of walking and it is EXHAUSTING for us all and finally Nicole Kidman just passes out in Central Park after minutes or hours of walking around and a bunch of kids form a literal calming circle around her and my eyes rolled into the reservoir.

This episode is also all about money, hunny! Nicole Kidman has a lot of it - so much that it was revealed in the last episode she didn’t even notice that a lot of it was missing from that time Hugh Grant lost his job and didn’t tell anyone for a few months except the vile Donald Sutherland who loaned him $500K AND NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THAT MONEY WENT!!!! Well I hope you kept your check book out, Donald Sutherland because now you need to pay $2 MILLION DOLLARS to get Hugh Grant out of jail. Ok? OK. ALSO DO YOU JUST OWN THE FRICK MUSEUM????

So now Hugh Grant just lives in his old magazine apartment which has somehow returned to magazine status after Edgar Ramirez and a thousand cops completely ransacked it. Also now Nicole Kidman and the son live at the vile Donald Sutherland’s house so all is...well? Well no not really because Nicole Kidman STILL HAS THAT DAMN WIG. 

AND THAT ISN’T EVEN THE MOST HORRIFYING PART OF THIS EPISODE! That came when Hugh Grant, now free from jail and left to his own devices, visits the interloper’s widow and children! WHAT IS HE DOING!! Somehow, interloper’s husband lets Hugh in and lets him hold the baby which he fathered. AND THEN HUGH REVEALS HE’S MET THIS BABY BEFORE AND OFFERS TO TAKE CARE OF IT! WHILST ON TRIAL FOR MURDER! THIS SHOW!!!!!

Episode 5: Trial by Fury

WHAT IS EVEN DONALD SUTHERLAND’S APARTMENT?!?! It has a balcony, and it seems to have a balcony cover because no one gets wet when they go out on the balcony and it’s raining. Rich people really live in a different climate zone than the rest of us garbage people. Regardless, Nicole Kidman’s frizzy wig is at PEAK FRIZZINESS on this balcony.

Anyway, the trial of the goddamned century is finally here!! And Nicole Kidman’s wig part still remains an elusive mystery. What is being kept in there? NO ONE CAN SEE ACTUAL SCALP OR ANSWERS. Another question: why did everyone bring their kids to the trial where they could see very upsetting pictures (that I didn’t even look at!) of the murdered interloper. CHILD ABUSE! ALSO! WOULD EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED CABLE NEWS NETWORK REALLY COVER THIS CASE SO CLOSELY??? I guess it’s not an election year in this alternate reality.

Which makes this scene where the whole family dines out and no one bothers them at all the more improbable. Also completely insane? At one point, Hugh Grant just storms out of the dinner and into the bar area of the restaurant (omg remember restaurants?) and Nicole Kidman follows him there and they have a very intense conversation about family secrets literally in the entrance of a busy restaurant. WHAT REALITY IS THIS SHOW IN?!?!?! The family secret? Remember that time Nicole Kidman told their son that he couldn’t have a dog because Hugh Grant accidentally killed his family dog? IT WASN’T A DOG IT WAS HIS 4 YEAR OLD SISTER. WHAT IN THE DAMN HELL!!!!

Nicole Kidman attempts to corroborate this insane story that she has never ever heard before with Hugh Grant’s family who don’t return her calls but do facetime her out of the blue in the middle of the night. Sure! And who is Hugh Grant’s mom? TONY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS ROSEMARY GODDAMNED HARRIS. WHAT. Not only does she confirm that Hugh Grant definitely accidentally killed his sister, but he also was never ever upset by it! Sure looks like Hugh Grant is a sociopath! MMkay!

Oh and then in the final moments of this episode Nicole Kidman finds the murder weapon - a sculpting hammer - in her son’s violin case. THIS SHOW IS A FRIGGIN LUNATIC.

Episode 6 - The Bloody Truth

So at this point in this show, I have fully gone. I don’t even know what is real or fantasy at this point: all I know is that Nicole Kidman’s wig is my nightmare. ALSO! She has a new midweight duster coat and it is the absolute most outrageous - a silk embroidered number you can literally wear NOWHERE EXCEPT FOR THE MURDER TRIAL OF HUGH GRANT.

The main concern in this episode is how Nicole Kidman’s son happened to get ahold of the murder weapon. So he just found it....in the beach house fire pit?!?!?! WHAT A DUMB PLACE TO PUT A MURDER WEAPON WHEN YOU HAVE AN OCEAN INCHES AWAY TO FLING IT INTO! Even dumber: this show wants you to believe that this 12 year old kid would have the wherewithall to put this murder weapon through the dishwasher - TWICE!! Vulture and I both say NAH to that. 

Anyway, Nicole Kidman’s wig which is somehow pushed back with clips unknown spends a lot of time in a robe (or a coat? WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT) making secret phone calls to Lily Rabe (who I am happy is back because she’s kind of the only fun part of this show). WHAT IS NICOLE KIDMAN UP TO?!?!?!

Much like Big Little Lies season 2, it all comes down to Nicole Kidman taking the stand. BORING! Hugh Grant is all but gonna win this thing and then Nicole Kidman gets up there and totally backs him up...until she is cross examined by the prosecuting attorney (WHO IS OLD PALS WITH LILY RABE) and magically knows all about Rosemarry Harris’s facetime! Now everyone knows that Hugh Grant is a child murderer and sociopath! AND HE IS PISSED!

The final sequence of this show is just far too insane to even fathom BUT basically before definitely being found guilty, Hugh Grant texts his son and they meet for breakfast but then breakfast turns into a car chase upstate! It is never explained how Nicole Kidman would allow her son out of her sight OR how Hugh Grant wouldn’t already be tailed by cops but whatever! Also not explained: how Nicole Kidman is able to issue an Amber alert for her kid and then get into a GODDAMNED HELICOPTER and follow Hugh Grant north and then land on the very bridge he’s about to jump off of but WHO CARES!! THIS WHOLE SHOW IS WHO CARES BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT HUGH GRANT WAS THE MURDERER ALL ALONG JUST LIKE WE THOUGHT IN EPISODE 1 AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS JUST BEEN A MIDWEIGHT DUSTER COAT FASHION SHOW!!! ALSO THE WIG SUCKED! GOODBYE YOU TERRIBLE STUPID SHOW! 

Verdict: Doesn’t Wurq

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

What's your favorite and least favorite season?

Hi nonnie!! Thank you so much for your ask!!! I’m guessing you mean AHS seasons?? At least I hope so, because I’ve always wanted to rank them!! (But if you meant weather, then my favorite is spring and my least favorite is summer alsdlfkajsdf)

OKAY, LET’S DO THIS:

9. Murder House

I can’t with this season. I’m sorry, I know a lot of people really like it. But I just can’t. I don’t like the main characters, I don’t like the plot (what plot though) and I don’t like a majority of the dialogue. It’s not bad television, and a good jumping off point, I suppose. But I feel like Ryan Murphy hadn’t really gotten his feet under him yet, like he was testing the waters to see what worked and what didn't. 

I remember yelling at @shineestark when she told me she ranked Murder House below 1984, because “HOW CAN YOU RANK A SEASON WITH PAULSON BELOW A SEASON WITHOUT PAULSON?!?!?” And then I watched 1984. And here I am, ranking Murder House last. There’s just something about it that makes me itch with boredom. If I never watched this season again, I wouldn’t complain. I’ve seen it twice, and both times I felt like I wasted my time. Oops. 2/10 solely for Billie Dean, Moira, and Nora. 

8. 1984

There were aspects that I loved (Xavier, I’m looking at you) and aspects that I couldn’t have cared less about (hi, Richard Ramirez). But I thought that the general aesthetic was great and Lily Rabe absolutely slayed the game. And Leslie Grossman was phenomenal-- it was great to see her shine. Plus, I could really jam to that theme song. Nice and trope-y while still being compelling. Minus one point for using the theme song in a chase scene, plus two for Eye of the Tiger at the end. Solid 4/10. 

7. Freakshow

I couldn’t do it at first. I just couldn’t. I stopped watching Cult halfway through because it was too scary, and I decided to watch Freakshow instead, despite the fact that I knew Twisty was going to scare the fuck out of me. I made it exactly three episodes into Freakshow before I decided that Cult was so much better than this freaky-ass clown shit. And that is with TWO Paulsons as incentive. However, once I got past Twisty and firmly into the Dandy storyline, I ended up really enjoying the season. (But I would personally like to slap whoever decided that the sliding, screeching strings were a good idea for the score, because oof it makes my skin crawl.) 5/10.

6. Hotel

I wasn’t a huge fan of Hotel the first time I watched it. If Sally wasn’t there, I doubt I would have finished it. But after watching it a second time, I realized it was really just John and his wife that I didn’t like. Mr. March is my favorite of Evan Peters’s characters, Lady Gaga is iconic, and Kathy Bates did amazingly. Plus HELLO LIZ TAYLOR??? So John Lowe and the vampire children aside, this season wasn’t too bad. (I would also like to note that the final episode has a heavy bearing on how high this season is ranked.) 5/10.

5. Coven

Coven was the first season that I ever watched, back when I was tiny and sensitive and couldn’t handle the smallest bit of horror. But I plowed through because so help me I was going to try to watch at least one season of AHS. As it turns out, I didn’t finish it. I didn’t intentionally stop watching-- I must have gotten busy with work, and two years later I realized that I still had two episodes left. That’s right. I didn’t even find out who the Supreme was. 

So last October I watched “The Seven Wonders” (probably my favorite episode of AHS, period), and I was hooked. But when I went back and rewatched Coven a few months later, I didn’t like it as much I remembered?? I’m not a huge fan of the whole Kyle plot or the zombies. But Cordelia and Fiona are perfect, Myrtle rules the world, Misty is adorable, and Angela Basset is at her absolute peak. Plus, I’ll take that black-skirted, New Orleans witchy vibe mixed with Stevie Nicks any day. A solid 7/10. 

4. Cult

Okay I’m going to be honest. The first time I watched Cult, I almost didn’t make it through the entire season. I got to the part with the man hanging from the hooks in the attic, and I just couldn’t do it. Too many of my phobias up on the screen, and it got under my skin in a way that none of the other seasons did. And I hated how I legitimately felt like I was going crazy with Ally. But after taking a little break I made it through, and then I watched it again, and yeah -- this is a good season. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Some of it was a bit too gory for me, but overall it was a great season and the more I rewatch it, the more I like it. 8/10.

3. Roanoke 

For me, this season was the perfect blend of scary and fun. I watched the whole season from between my fingers or behind a pillow, but I still laughed and I was always 100% invested. It didn’t lose my interest for a second. I loved the plot, I loved how it repeated, I loved the change halfway through, and the new characters. Everything was brilliant, completely different from every other season, and just absolute good fun. 9/10. (She loses a point because I will never be over what they did to Audrey, and perfect scores are only for seasons that give Audrey the ending she deserves.)

2. Asylum

If Apocalypse didn’t exist, this would be my favorite season. I think it is the best season of AHS, by far. Ryan Murphy somehow managed to weave zombies, serial killers, possession, insane asylums, aliens, and nazis into one season, and it WORKS. It’s so cohesive, tied up at the end in a pretty little bow. I always enjoy rewatching it, and I think that every single one of the actors was at peak performance. Absolute perfection. 10/10. (This is usually the season that I recommend to people who have never seen AHS.)

1. Apocalypse 

This was the season that really technically started it all. The first full season of AHS that I watched after finishing Coven. And I love every single thing about it. The plot, the aesthetic, the characters, the costumes. I was hooked from about five minutes into the first episode, and I only got more invested as the season unfolded.

I could rewatch Apocalypse every week and probably never get bored. (Although I do tend to skip through the Michael episodes until Venable comes in, but shh it’s fine.) We get our witches, Misty comes back, Stevie Nicks singing “Gypsy”, HELLO?? Plus Billie Dean. Plus an episode directed by Ms. Paulson. And it isn’t too scary. Could we ask for more? Ryan Murphy blessed us with this one and I will be forever grateful. 11/10. 

[zhenreviewsmovies]

Honey Boy Review

My Rating:

9.5/10

This is a movie based on real events surrounding the actor Shia LaBeouf where it asks the question if children pay for their parent's sins. It in hand showcases the healing process from childhood trauma in which most individuals attempt to forget or block out these events. I think it is a devastating movie where there is no real 'bad guy' in this movie, it's just hurt people trying their best to get on with life in probably not the best manner but nevertheless, they are trying.

In my opinion, everybody does a fantastic job, the actor portraying older Otis (which is Shia LaBeouf), Lucas Hedges does an exceptional job in displaying his mannerisms and a really good job when tapping into the emotional side of the therapy scenes. Noah Jupe whom portrays younger Otis also hits the ball out of the park. Shia LaBeouf as always, brings his A game to the park and well, in my opinion, excluding the Transformers trilogy which he was a part of where the script failed him to a certain extent, well, he is indeed a splendid actor and is at often times his career is overshadowed by his criminal record which is kind of undeserving to say the least. 

So apart from all that, yes, the music is heartfelt and the cinematography is splendid; I just want to talk about the message of the movie and well, the story in other words. The integral part of the movie is that how we behave, how we act around our kids, that'll affect them big time and I think something excellent the movie did was it portrayed that just because anger isn't directed towards a child, that doesn't mean that it won't affect the child in a negative manner. In other words, a father plays a vital role when it comes to nurturing a child and the way you act will have a direct result on the child, so be nice. And on a personal note, as someone that didn't really have the best or cheerful-est of childhood, the environment you were raised has a direct effect on your mental and emotional state and this could show in the adolescence stage and could carry on until who knows when. So, for those whom had a rather chaotic childhood, you guys/girls are absolute legends and yeah, life isn't easy and those self-help books don't really help in the end to be honest; learn to love yourself and especially in these times where we are all cooped up at home, take care of your mental health and don't forget to rest. 

Other than that, you start to see the pressure upon the shoulders of young actors (or even actors in their mid-age or what not) and a recent event that kind of showed the really ugly side of showbusiness is Lexi Rabe whom portrayed Morgan Stark in Avengers: Endgame, this whole cancel culture and mob-like abuse towards public figures is the most filthy form of humanity in my opinion. Yet again this does not mean we can't criticize, just criticize when there is a proper reason to criticize obviously, but my gosh bullying a 7-year-old child. Is that really humane? I mean, these actors and actresses are people, just like you and me, and I believe despite how publicized they are, they do have emotions and feelings. I don't think that just because they are public figures they ought to have the 'deal with it you're rich' mentality many have. Money doesn't solve life's problems, maybe you can have everything but, I don't think so buying the latest iPhone every year would keep you happy. Life is a lot more than just things. 

We live in a time where hate is strong even though it is commonly presented in movies or what not, hate is still very relevant in today's culture. Even positive movements such as feminism is now misinterpreted to a certain extent and now women are thought to hate men (then again this does not apply to everyone, it's just at often times there are certain extremists whom make the headlines). I think we need to learn to stand for something in a much more positive manner and really think before doing stuff, there is just too much negativity even if it's regarding something positive. I am by no means calling anyone out here, I'm just stating the facts, I think all of us can see this one truth.

[futurewriter2000]

Okay, so...um..................... uh....... I just- uh- uhm. I just need to write because I- uh..... I- uh.... I feel like the writing is the only thing that calmes me down. 

I don’t know though becasuse I only had panic attacks, never anxiety ones and this one was a first....hah... Uh...I’ts totally okay for you to scroll past this I just...uh- I just don’t know what to do so I’m writing...something and I don’t really know if it’s helping. I never felt like this but one thing for sure I didn’t know about anxiety attacks are that they are so much longer than the panic ones...I mean panics are half an hour to one hour with a virtigo and then just going to sleep but man anxiety attacks are something different. I tried to listen to music, shake my body a bit, I go dizzy for a second, tried child pose which sort of helped but when I stood up it was shit again so I decided to write it down. I don’t know why. I don’t want to come out as some pitiful dumbas, I just need to write it down because if I don’t write it down then I don’t know what I would do because I can’t focus on studying immediately but I will study on history as soon as ‘m freaking calm and can concentrate back on studying. 

What should I focus on? Like... I can’t focus on tomorrows exam, that’s bullshit. Just by thinking about it I can feel my heart racing. So how about I focus on..on a bunny.

My friend used to own a bunny, two actually. The first one was Piff and she was a white rabing with red eyes. I know that’s some sort of syndrome some animals have but piff was really cute though, towards her death she started to get really large and she died pretty quickly. Then she got a black bunny, named Scooby and I remember I was the first one that got him out of the box because my friend was afraid to get it. He was a baby and quite fragile. He was so small he fit into one palm. Though she got lazy withhim and started to neglect him. She didn’t clean his cage and she started to hate on him but her dad gave him away to another family that would love him more. 

I only had like a hamster and it wasn’t even mine. It was m sister’s. Her first hamster was named Miško, which it’s sort of like slovene for Mouse but in a cuter way. He was brown with with I think a white stripe over his bacbone and white stomach. He was mean af. Mean and fast. He ran all the time on his yellow wheel. He was a dumbass as well, he died like three times before he really died. He only bit me a few times, never as much as my sister and my mom. He hated to cudle, he always ran away, pooped everywhere. He lived longer than the usual hamster age. He lived 2 years and a half. The other hamster, Buci, my sister got for her 20th birthday was a completely different. He was fat, slow and cuddly. He was shy but he was realyl sick so we had to put him down. Rest in peace hamsters that were never mine. 

Okay, I feel so much more calmer, now. Still feel a bit nauseous but idk if it’s from stress or bad food.. if not both. Yeah... I don’t really have much food at home but somehow I still continue to get fat. Or not. Lately I’ve been just moving up and down the scale. Haven’t really weighted myself in a long time. I prefer working out and not lookig on the scale as much. It really doesn’t tell you much because you lose fat weight and gain muscle weight which is heavier than the fat weight. I think I’m going to listen to a song or a few of them to get a bit more calmer. Maybe make myself tea. Chamomile? How do you spell that? Idc, I need some calming tea right now but idk if chamomile is calming for the stomach? Is it? I shall google it.- Okay, I google it. It’s great. Also it’s great for insomnia. I will drink my tea, listen to music and focus on my studies.

If you have come this far, thank you for listening. I appreaciate it a lot. Hope you are well and happy, sending you all the good vibration <3

[notmanagingmymischief]

Alright. So I just finished ep. 1 of Asylum, and now I feel that it is my duty to review it. Obviously, spoilers ahead.

Overall:

I loved it. It instilled in me a fear of god from the first ten minutes and now I want to die. It’s terrifying with a mix of psychological realism, which shakes me, personally, to the bone.

Extraneous details:

Lana Winters is amazing, obviously. I like her relationship with Wendy but I hope that hey build upon it in the next episodes. It was very moving to see Jude confront Wendy and basically blackmail her into having Lana officially committed, as I was under the impression that Wendy did it of her own free will. Turns out that, no, she did not. But in terms of Lana herself, I love the L brooch, nice touch, but I think that she’s pretty stupid for going there after dark. Like...girl, cmon. Already I’m in love with her, as with all of Sarah’s characters, and I think I will like this a lot.

I loved how Sister Jude has a clear inclination to the Monsignor, having that little vision of..yknow. It adds a bit of excitement to her character’s kind of bland (thus far, as I know she gets better) design. Of course Jessica Lange is a queen and is already pulling off her role beautifully, as was to be expected. Also, red dress.

Lily Rabe coming in with an awesome character, I love how timid Sister Mary is already. I’m very aware of what her...situation is to come, and so I love how we’re setup to see her as a timid, frail, terrified girl who wants to please but is scared of doing something wrong. She doesn’t like Sister Jude (understandable) and overall is a cute character in an otherwise terrible atmosphere.

Dr Arden....oh Arthur. He’s a real case, that one. Terrifying, with that hint of “I’m just an old man, I mean no harm” if he really tried. I don;t like the way he back-talks Sister Jude, that makes me very upset, I will slap a bitch. But I am also obsessed with the whole human experiment thing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s horrifying and disgusting as fuck, but still. Cool dude. Hate him, but still a pretty cool dude.

Kit Walker is literally so cute I love hiiimmm. I feel so fucking bad for this man, he was fuckin his wife and the next thing you know she’s been abducted by aliens. Like...WHAT?! It was a twist and I very much enjoyed it. Another thing is that he’s accused of being Bloody Face, which is obviously not true, so the fact that everyone around him just goes with it is annoying as hell.

Finally, the flash forwards. First of all, lemme just say...Adam Levine. That is all. Adam Levine. Already a win in my book, but I like how we go from present to past and back and forth. AND THE TRANSITIONS! I loved the scene where the gf is running down the death tunnel, and it suddenly fades into Sister Mary and Lana coming the other way, like that was COOL AS HELL.

Anyways I’m off to watch episode two, will update then :)