#r: fjord x veth

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envisioning nott taking her shirt off and twirling it in the air

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eremis: have your partaken in a roast or a piece of animal meat?

jester: i'm a vegan -__-

nott: i've roasted fjord a bunch of times!!

marisha: *pointing and laughing at cad's bewildered response to jester randomly claiming she's vegan*

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fjord: *tries to use lay on hands to cure viridian's amnesia*

veth: maybe you have to touch her boob!

fjord: I'M NOT TOUCHING ANY BOOBS.

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marisha: what level of the prison was yeza on?

matt: yeza was between the first and second level, around the cusp of that area

nott: he's dangerous! he's a flight risk!!

beau: yeah of course, level 2

fjord: no. no he's not

nott: they took all the sharp objects from him, he wasn't wearing shoelaces! they don't know what he's capable of!

fjord: he didn't have shoes

nott: yeah well. that's because he's CRAZY! could kill with a shoe

fjord: crazy boring

beau: awwww

nott:

nott: YOU'RE boring. your FACE is boring. shuddup. i hate u

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fjord telling veth to be prepared to pack the Good Powder and veth agreeing but being very confused about what that means and fjord just going "you know what that means, right? as the master gunner?" and then a minute later sam looking down at this reference sheet he has and going "OH! PACK THE GOOD POWDER, IT'S RIGHT HERE!"

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BIG NOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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jester: we could have someone distract the goblin while we investigate the back of the apothecary?

jester: the goblin really liked fjord *wiggles eyebrows*

nott: who doesn't? he's 130 lean pounds of hot!

fjord: ok add 45. no 60. and then 95–yeah i'll distract them >:(

beau: do you know if they had a back entrance?

jester: the goblin?

beau: no, the apothecary. what?

jester: what?

beau: what?

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yasha: (to fjord) why are you speaking differently?

nott: he got kicked by a donkey in zadash

matt: *almost spits*

nott: messed up his whole head

nott: forgot who he was, couldn't walk for days

nott: peed his pants, it was a mess

travis: *crying*

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essek: i ask you this. what are your opinions on war? on this conflict?

fjord: what is it good for?

nott: (without skipping a beat) nothing, that's what.

travis: *BREAKS*

travis: that was So Fast.

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"and me and fjord will–" "FJORD AND IIII." the most random grammar correction you have ever seen

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"the greens are in charge! oh wait i'm not green anymore"

"you'll always be green to me :)"

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"alright fjord, give me the flask"

"the flask?"

"the flask, that you stole! my flask, i know you did it!"

"(patting himself down) i don't have it?"

"you fucker."

"?"

"i'll fucking kill you. sorry. i'm really just distracted right now."

"i understand."

"you're dead."

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"residuum is good if it's used by good people. which...we aree.....????????"

"the inflection goes down when you're certain"

"...we ARE."

"very good. well done."

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nott: *gushes about fjord's performance during the combat*

nott: if i weren't married!

nott: also if you had bull legs and a human torso.

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fjord waking nott up by just dropping her head down from a foot off the floor and nott sitting up going "I'LL DISEMBOWEL YOU WHERE ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER AAAAHHHHH"