#r: beau x caduceus

[pocketgalaxies]

cad giving beau a fan that casts gust of wind and telling her to try it on this seagull and then the seagull getting blasted into the water and beau going "CADUCEUS CAN YOU HELP IT D: D:"

[calebtealeaf]

Hello ! !

- I'm Caleb ! I use mainly he / they / it , and I'm autistic so the subject of my writing is bound to be added to quickly LMAO ^^

Who I'll write for :

CRIT ROLE ;

( c1 ) Vax , Keyleth , Percy , Vex , Gilmore , Pike , Grog , Scanlan . ( c2 ) Caleb , Molly , Essek , Fjord , Jester , Beau , Yasha , Caduceus , Artagan . ( c3 ) Orym , Will , Dorian , Ashton , Fearne , Imogen , Laudna , Chetney , FCG , Frida . ( there's probably more . )

HORROR ;

( re-animator ) Herbert , Dan , Megan . ( saw ) Lawrence , Adam , Amanda , Lynn , Hoffman , Strahm . ( tcm ) Bubba , Thomas , ChopTop , Nubbins . ( lost boys ) Michael , David . ( collector ) Asa , Arkin . ( scream ) Stu , Billy . ( misc ) Freddy K , Vincent S , Billy Lz , Brahms , Harry W .

GOOD OMENS ;

Aziraphale , Crowley , Gabriel , Beelzebub .

HANNIBAL ;

Hannibal , Will .

BG3 ;

Astarion , Gale , Halsin . ( more to be added . )

Preferred ships !! ( just because I prefer these doesn't mean I won't write others . )

Writing style : 3rd person , will only write x reader if asked , can be multi-chapter OR oneshot .

Extra notes : I'll write headcanons ( i have a habit of making most people trans masc , not sorry , or projecting stims onto them . ) , I lean towards fluff but I'm also not rlly arsed , if I'm asked to write other stuff I probably will . That being said , content wise I'll write what I'm comfy writing , so if something makes me largely uncomfy I just won't write it LMAO .

AND asks / requests r open unless I specifically state otherwise :3

( so sorry for the amt of tags good fucking lord . )

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.74 lb

hello guest!!!

that sounded like a lot of dice

lmao laura

okay okay okay okay what do u LOOK LIKE

!!!!!!!!!!!! she’s so PRETTY!!!

my whole face is just :OOOOO

that’s the coolest description i’ve ever heard holy SHIT

halo……...

golden freckles are so goddamn cool

“i’m just hear to make sure that everything’s fine, but i see that you met umi?” oh my god

that’s so cute that’s an adorable nickname

“i was eavesdropping just little bit, i’m sorry--i’m not sorry” i love. her

i love her so much

“are friends, or are family, or—” hey caleb i love you

BAKES!! JESTER will love u even more now

“hey umi? you proud of your sleepovers alright? there’s nothing to be ashamed…” “of” lmfao

i lov. everything abt this

also jester called her beautiful that was Very Good

“the cupcake bonanza” fJOR D

i choose to believe marisha losing it was in-character

“she seems to enjoying the cupcake but wHO KNOWS,,,” god i love matt

this is all so good

“i kinda keep this place safe” “uthodurn?” o gosh

tea!!! and a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“she likes tea, she likes baked goods, do you also like whiskey?” “who doesn’t?” :D :D

“i don’t know my dad either!!!” “damn it! she’s too perfect!!!!!!!!”

i like the interrogation it’s very funny bUT i feel like caleb has a point abt losing focus

“i get dreams sometimes that tell me what to do so i follow them” [eyes emoji] cad

[squints] “who doesn’t like to burn things from time to time” ca l eb

“do u like books” “ehh” “down the drain” caleb i love you

this is so exciting

“lots of books” “lots of plants” “a little dog bed in the corner” something for everyone lmao

“because he’s an alchemist” incredible

“i feel prettyyy~” fjor d

“maybe you should talk to her” r ude, beau “i’m going to the archives, so” caleb u dweeb

“we already have divine intervention” holy shit caduceus. i’m honestly a little worried abt the fallout if ur shit falls through bc everything seems to be going ur way currently but Oh Dang

“are u gonna actually hit the books though i can imagine you actually hitting the books” “they make very good targets” they’re so autism

“i spin around in a circle and sit in a dog bed” oh incredible

“sometimes i turn into a dog to sleep cos i dunno it’s comfy” god i love her

i would die for her

“could one be a loaner?” “you can have it” “.... :D” “it’s about plants you can make poisons out of, i hope you like it” g o s h

“the rule is that evil dies” jeeeez

“what if u disagree” “i don’t disagree”

“not today” “..he’s joking” “okay!! :) he likes my flower crown so he can’t be evil”

“well, does the wildmother tell you people are evil and gives you like assassination tasks?” “well, yeah” lmfao

oh it was a joke

i thought he meant, like. undead

this is even better

i love. cad’s jokes

he has such a dark sense of humor sometimes i love him

god i love jester

o jester u dweeb

neat neat neat neat neat

this lady is interesting?

i missed the description of her bc i had to refresh the page bc lost visual

but she seems like odd

“little one you’re such a minx” holy shit

“i’ll be back pink one” i like the [x] one nicknames

“oh gosh sammiel didn’t prepare me for this” “it’s about balance really” “mmmmmMMMM”

“i’m glad we’re getting a taste, that’s all i’m saying” cad oh my god dude

HOLY SHIT RESIDUUM

ooooo a JOB how very very NICE

“it’s a familiar color and texture to you” oh NO

oh no oh no oh no

oh no.

caleb :(

he’s scratching his ar MS

“caleb coat guy widogast” very good

“pink guy apparently” “can i call you pinkie?” “yeah :D!” god i love cad

yeah boi arch-ives arch-ives arch-I V ES

“are there otters?” “that would be interesting” hey i love this perosn

LIONETT!! LAST NAME ALERT

confirmed……………

god i fucking love reani so much

“she’s not good with keeping a secret identity” lmao

caduceus wants a picture book, caleb wants intricate transmutative magic, beau’s taking the beasts, fjord wants deities, and nott wants alchemical stuff

caleb u sneaky hecker

holy SHIT jester’s voice she’s

oh right she wanted weasels that’s why she sounds like that

oh fuck beau here we GO

beau why u lyin

“some information that may have been recovered from the ruins of malaismere” [EYES EMOJI]

also i love this guy

GNOME

“u think demons come from the moon” “i don’t, some people do!”

i love this goddamn loser gnome

oh wild nugget’s diet has been Super Fucked

eyyyyyy transition magic!!!!!!

WHITE DRAGONNNN

gilladon? the nightmare in? something my internet cut out

ivory i think they said

doot doot what did he say to nott i missed it

did he fix the page or what

“passing notes is still a very noticeable thing” “sure, sure...32”

“‘you know what this is for!!’ and i’ll shoot caleb in the side where he keeps the book” god i love you

“you miss the book by about an inch”

ooof, caleb, buddy

“and actually whimpering”

“he knew--he--he betrayed me!!!!!!!!!”

jester please succeed

NATURAL 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i love jester so much holy SHIT

FU CK yeah

“he--he CHEATED ON ME!!!!”

oh my god, nott, why

NO ROMO

“he shouldn’t be cheating on his wife, me!!!!!!!!!!” nott WHY

“jester pull this out” oh god

holy fuck my dude

eyyyy they gotta brick

oh elf?????

savalierwood????? all i caught of that was savalierwood

yeah pls tell me abt the deadly mission ??

ah well fuck they have ALIENATED the ARCHIVE PPL so that’s. less good

SWEET ur LOVE GIRLS

“so that they know you’re safe, but it’s only because they care about you so much” oof jester my buddy,,,

savalierwood…………...

oooooh bummer, y’all efforts ain’t worked QUITE as good as u hoped

still cool though!!

oh dear @ the page

“did i do a good thing” aww

hANDShaKE thank u caleb ur good

wife…………..

poor caleb

“which is transitioning away from pink a little bit” “it’s still pink it’s just getting a little lighter, and there’s also some interesting colors in the lichen and i’ve also gotten some interesting blue lichen on the right side” OH WORM??????

caduceus. caduceus please. tell me. more

i need to know. more

ple ase

but she’s out of spell slots though? --ohhhh the pearl cool

oh shit dairon’s at home right

are they gonna meet up w/dairon??? i’m.. curyiose what she’ll have to say like how they gonna react to them being back so soon w/a new friend in tow

“never met a plant with a name. ...wait………………..” [other conversation] “....no i haven’t” have i mentioned that i love cad

essik sounds Fresh out of patience

“i am in your debt again” “mm-hm” jeeeez u guys can y’all please. stop asking things of essik i do NOT trust him

“no. so make them run with you” : o!

eyyyyy they made it!!

aaaaaaand we ende heere

delightful!!!

[pocketgalaxies]

the image of beau moving at hyperspeed and swimming up to cad, punching him so hard he can't move, dragging him backward, passing his stunned body off to caleb's cat paw, swimming after them, catching up to them easily, and just shrugging before punching him again bc there's nothing else to do, and caleb watching and going "that's my partner. :)"

[pocketgalaxies]

cad going "i feel like i'm needed here" and beau immediately going "yeah you are, were you questioning that? don't question that, that's Dumb" YEAH OK BEAU. says the QUEEN OF NOT FEELING LIKE SHE'S NEEDED

[pocketgalaxies]

caleb always casting haste and enlarge on beau + caduceus casting holy weapon on her gauntlets............it's what she deserves

[pocketgalaxies]

beau: i've never been one to really respect the perspective of authority, i've always trusted my own perspective

fjord: think we knew that about you

beau: *glare*

cad: which is why i'm so complimented that you take the time to respect the opinion on the matter

beau: i'm trying >:( i'm getting better >:( >:(

[pocketgalaxies]

tal picking 5 ppl to cast motivational speech on and conspicuously skipping marisha and marisha going "OOOOOOWWW!!!!"

[pocketgalaxies]

"you have a lot of siblings, dude."

"big family."

"your parents fuuuuuuuucked B)"

[pocketgalaxies]

cad saying "there's something to be gained by seeing one's parents once we've matured enough to see how fragile they are" and beau just GLARING at him across the table.....ough

[pocketgalaxies]

beau: wait caduceus!

cad: what?

beau: i wanna help you make some tea.

cad: oh ok

beau: CALEB! were you napping?

caleb: no i'm standing right here

beau: do you want some tea?

caleb: of course i want some tea, thank you.

[pocketgalaxies]

beau: let's all split up and mingle to investigate

cad: uh, beau, when you're ready, i can do a pretty neat trick, but it only lasts an hour, so i wanna save it

beau: what...what's...how will i know when i'm ready?

cad: i don't know, but if...uh...

beau: that's...no.

cad: how would you like an hour of being your best self?

beau: ....?

veth: SOUNDS LIKE METH!

[pocketgalaxies]

jester: IS HE OKAY? did you get him??

beau: y-yeah. i did–yeah! i don't know if he's OKAY, to be totally honest, he's probably not,

fjord: you hit him, didn't you

beau: yeah. few times. but i had to

beau: i didn't have to

beau: but i did :)

[pocketgalaxies]

"caduceus. do i have biceps still? did i lose my biceps?"

"...i mean, they're there?"

[pocketgalaxies]

"i've found, in my line of work, king dwendal: if you're going to learn about your enemy, you need to get close to them. luckily, traveling with a band of misfits and goblins and half-orcs......and.......caduceus,"

[pocketgalaxies]

cad: we have an angel we could talk to really quick

nott: yasha?

beau: lol me?

cad: uh...jester

beau: oh.

cad: can you hand me the dead guy we picked up

beau: ohh. lmao