#quote from the plagiarism and you(tube) video
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"What teenage girl did this to you in high school, James. And why are you inserting fanfiction about her into an article you stole instead of going to therapy?"
#made me laugh and havent seen it mentioned in the other posts#im almost done with the video theres just uh *looks at the time stamp* an hour and ten minutes left#hbomberguy#we all know where this is from but just for the sake of being meticulous#quote from the plagiarism and you(tube) video
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my two favorite pieces of hbomberguy's video were these two tests/rules he has for video essays and making media:
"When I think a video is being lazy, I do a little test. I check what sources the video used... and I compare it with the sources you would get if you went to the Wikipedia page for the topic." (Hbomberguy, 55:07)
"I have a little rule for quoting that other creators seem to use as well. If someone saw a clip of your video out of context, would it be possible for them to tell you're quoting someone and where it's from?" (Hbomberguy, 48:18)
These rules I think can be applied to both the act of watching and creating. If you're creating something not intended to be cursory in nature, where are you getting your sources? After that first wikipedia search we all love to do, where do you go from there?
If you're consuming something, and it is intended to be informative in nature, can you go to a random time in it and understand where their sources are coming from?
Sources:
“Plagiarism and You(Tube).” Youtube, uploaded by hbomberguy,2 December 2023, https://youtu.be/yDp3cB5fHXQ?t=3307. Accessed 4 December 2023.
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Headsup
In case anyone of you has been following the reveal of James Somerton's fragrant Plagiarism via Hbomberguy's "Plagiarism and You(Tube)
James Somerton has released a second response video, which may be more collected and calm, but he mentions his diagnosis with epilepsy and therefore the memory issues he suffers from as a reason for how the rampant continous plagiarism was possible to happen over and over again.
I believe him in saying he has memory issues. (I also believe him that he got fired because of his epilepsy, because sadly this is a very common occurence!)
I personally am not convinced, that memory issues cause you do copy-paste entire books and a multitude of articles into a script, close the doc, open the doc the next day and go "wow i definitely wrote all that, let me read it into the camera".
I don't remember a lot of the things I am saying, especially in verbal communication. Friends quote me back constantly and a lot of times I don't remember, I can only say "this sounds like something I would say".
My memory is very bad at times, and terribly accurate at others.
I know there are different types of memory issues.
But I can not - for the life of me - ESPECIALLY when I know I have these issues, imagine that someone with memory issues does not include pasting a link to the SOURCE of the text they are copying into their word.
I also am pretty sure, one would recognise their own writing style, even when not remembering writing something... especially in like - longform text formats.
I think also - when having a co-author, I would lean towards asking the co-author to check my writing for instances of accidental plagiarism, in order to stop it from happening (again).
But maybe this is just me. Am I being overly harsh here?
I don't want to shoot against someone who is also epileptic without reason. Please share your thoughts.
#james somerton#youtube#actually epileptic#epilepsy#memory issues#it feels like somerton came into my house and shat on the carpet#like idk it doesnt feel plausible that the memory issues are the cause of this level of plagiarism and it just upsets me#hbomberguy
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I watched about 25 minutes of that 4 hours long (??) hbomberguy video about the plagiarism on the tubes and he's a good talker who makes cogent points but I feel uneasy about the urge to pile on random attention junkies and it's difficult to care about their crimes of chasing clicks for poorly constructed videos they made by copying other people, like yes this is tawdry behaviour and yes the people being copied are surely miffed to see someone take their work without credit and pass it off as their own and become more successful thereby, and, well that's just it isn't it, what is this success that everyone is chasing, where does it come from and how does it accrue to the notionally undeserving in the first place?
it feels like the most awful toxic crap happens in creative fields with a low barrier to entry that's flooded with eager amateurs but with very few professional seats at a table controlled by a tight network of industry gatekeepers, then you're guaranteed an absolute shitshow of mendacious social lunacy as everyone backstabs their friends and garrotes their enemies and whores themselves out to whoever it takes to claw their way to the front where they can do it "for real" and get a sweet slice of that usually-not-very-much-money at stake.
and like that's real sad! people tear themselves up over this crap as much as they tear apart each other, and it's terrible and it can ruin lives in silly and pointless ways, and ideally people would wise up and meditate on their life and their place in the world and think about what really matters and what makes them happy and value the people around them and yeah that's not gonna happen but it would be nice wouldn't it.
anyway just put footnotes on your dumb videos or something, you can quote other people in a charismatic manner and still get more credit than they do and it's absolutely fine.
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VIDREV: "Plagiarism and You(Tube)" by Hbomberguy.
[originally posted december 7th 2023]
youtube
i didn't initially plan to do a full VIDREV for this one. it's a long video that speaks plenty for itself, revealing a veritable cottage industry of video essayists who've found great success in brazenly stealing the works of marginalized creators. it's an infuriating watch, especially as someone who has put a lot of work over a lot of years into getting better as an essayist. at a moment when the gormless profit-chasing business degree havers of the world are pretty unambiguously winning in every avenue imaginable, it's gratifying to see someone like Hbomberguy use his significant platform to at least make a dent in that trend. i had a few gripes, sure, but i didn't figure they were worth the trouble. of course now it's been out for a few days, the video already has over 6.8 million views, and people are still talking about it on every single social media website of note. watching that discourse evolve from afar has sharpened some of the round edges on my aforementioned gripes, and given me reason to think that maybe weighing in isn't a totally fruitless endeavor. and besides, what's the point of having a video essay review blog if you're not gonna review what is arguably the video essay of the moment? ahhh, there's a Faustian bargain if ever i heard one.
in this post, i'm going to be critical of Hbomberguy's "Plagiarism and You(Tube)" on a few fronts of debatable importance. but first, i want to make it clear that i am genuinely grateful to Hbomb for putting so much time and effort into this investigation. plagiarism is a serious accusation that requires commensurate evidence, and Harris's got that covered in spades. the case is made so much harder to deny by the frequent juxtaposition of a plagiarist's voice-over with the original plagiarized text on screen reacting to minor trail-covering alterations. these sections occupy the bulk of this video's near 4 hour runtime, and while i have some issues with that length, i understand that the deluge of evidence is precisely to make sure that none of the plagiarists in question can continue dodging accusations the way they have done previously. in this process, Hbomb lays out a consistent playbook utilized by all manner of plagiarists, and (hypothetically) gives viewers the tools and awareness they need to better spot plagiarism in the future. this matters because, as he rightly points out, youtube isn't a fun little hobby site for posting silly cat videos anymore, there's real money to be made on the platform and virtually no oversight to protect creators with ethics and integrity (i wanted to pull a direct quote here but alas, you can't ctrl+f a video). it's an open question as to how or whether we can fix this problem, but we don't get to that conversation until we acknowledge that plagiarism is a legitimate, widespread, materially harmful phenomenon online. none of what i have to say in this review is meant to minimize its broad success in calling attention to a very real problem!
that said…
in the days since its release, i've seen a lot of back and forth over what this video is about. on one side you have folks calling for the blood of James Somerton and others mentioned in the essay, saying "fuck these people specifically." yet on another side, many insist that you're missing the point if all you see is more drama for the drama mill. "this is a systemic problem" they say, "that's what the video is about." i'm inclined to agree more with the latter than the former, as Hbomb does consistently circle back to talking about the unpaid victims of plagiarism, ending the video by explicitly highlighting underrated queer creators and even saying outright that he doesn't want the end result to be limited in scope to just retribution against these specific plagiarists.
and yet, when i see a meme like this one:
i can't help but think… is that what the video is about? is someone who just sees the drama missing the point? yes, certainly, Hbomb says as much, but how much does he actually say it compared to everything else? what's the proportion of (to be overly reductive) "drama content" to "systemic criticism"? because it seems to me that anyone who only/mostly gets "wow fuck these people in particular" out of this video has done nothing less than take the video in aggregate. the bulk of its runtime is spent detailing very specific acts of plagiarism, and while yes, as i said above, this abundance serves a very real purpose, it shouldn't go unacknowledged that the tone of these sections is often one of ridicule and mockery. i don't mean that as a criticism in and of itself, to be clear. you can draw a line from here directly backwards through all his "Measured Response" videos, dude cut his teeth on knocking overconfident hacks down a peg, a bit of ridicule and mockery is to be expected. but that does ultimately mean that Hbomb spends most of the video saying "fuck these people in particular," in a tone of voice he honed through many other videos devoted to saying "fuck this guy in particular", only occasionally stopping to add that "plagiarism is popular and insidious and even creators you trust might be doing it" before moving onto the next scornworthy particular guy. so it kind of doesn't matter that one is "the point" and the other is "missing the point" because he's genuinely saying both things, and he's saying one of them significantly more often than the other. you can't tell me the dunks aren't at least part of the point, and if they're part of it then they can and will be misconstrued by some as the whole point. the entertainment and spectacle of knocking these plagiarists down a peg is an indulgence that, while certainly earned, does exist in concrete tension with the systemic arguments that are meant to take priority. now, some of this does come down to how internet culture has shifted in the last decade to facilitate a much more aggressive style of engagement overall, which Harris cannot control no matter how often he says "don't harass the plagiarists." there isn't really a perfectly right way to go about this, and under the circumstances i do think he did far better than others might have done in his stead.
but even still, i think this misapprehension is made worse by the essay's conclusion, which in my opinion largely fails to tie the whole thing together into the systemic argument that supposedly is "the point" some viewers are missing. Harris commendably points out how the so-called AI revolution is at its core an act of automated civilization-scale plagiarism, and that future instances of plagiarism may be harder to catch precisely because of this technology. frankly i wish that perspective had taken up a solid 10% of the runtime rather than a couple paragraphs at the very end, seeing as on balance it's the far bigger and more likely threat to the livelihoods of people watching than old-school direct plagiarism, but that's me. what really bugged me was the brevity with which he discussed possible solutions to the problem. he rightly points out that youtube implementing a plagiarism reporting system would just be another tool for bad faith actors to silence marginalized creators on the platform, and then… he kinda gives up? he shrugs his shoulders and says, well, for now, just talking about plagiarism and spreading awareness of it is enough. for as well-intentioned and, generally speaking, true as that is, it bugs me as an essayist because i believe that a big part of the job is or ought to be expanding the audience's ability to imagine what's possible even if you aren't 100% sure about the answers yourself.
these are all very much "how i would have written it differently" criticisms, so they aren't particularly worth much, but i do feel it's odd that he doesn't even broach the subject of federal regulation, platform control, unionization efforts, or even just good old-fashioned consumer activism. virtually every website that the creative economy hangs on is a venture-capital backed corporate venture, and their ad-driven models for profiteering at a moment when wages are stagnant and layoffs are happening everywhere is, like, the reason this is such a problem. to address plagiarism as a systemic issue, we need to understand the systemic enablers of it as a behavior. if creators weren't getting such a small slice of the revenue pie, if we had more control over the platform and what rises to the top, if the companies that owned these platforms were beholden to federal regulations, if the government increased arts funding and gave out grants to independent creators that involved third-party quality checks, if online video creators had any manner of collective labor power, if the cost of living was lower by way of public healthcare, free education, mass public transit, and affordable housing, then this would be a drastically different conversation. these are not non-sequitors! this is as much an economic problem as it is a cultural one, so any proposed solution that stops at changing the culture is necessarily incomplete and doomed to fail.
look, i don't expect Hbomb to have the answers. nobody has the answers. but i think it's a bit short-sighted to leave so many possibilities unsaid when the one concrete possibility discussed is immediately (correctly) written off as a bad idea. it leads to a conclusion that feels iffy, a bit defeated, lost at sea, and that's an infectious mood. if the first step to solving plagiarism as a systemic problem is to encourage talking about it openly, i think it's equally important to at the very least gesture in the direction of the many possible avenues for a systemic solution, no matter how impossible or ridiculous they might seem in the current political climate. in point of fact, i think it's of utmost importance to include these possibilities precisely because they seem impossible, otherwise we will forever be trapped in a world of insufficient half measures, meekly reifying the conservative austerity of the liberal order because it's easier and safer than taking a wild shot in the dark.
again, i want to stress that this is a deeply subjective criticism. i'm an ornery Marxist, of course i have these kinds of gripes. and it's easy to get lost in criticizing what isn't there, which as an exercise generally tells you more about the critic than the object being criticized. so, to close out, i'm gonna shake my fist a little at something that is there.
there's a moment at about one hour thirty-five minutes in where Harris turns on some colored lights to get that patented blue-purple Bisexual Lighting, and then he says this:
This is a whole style of video now, and by "style" I mean one person did it first and then a bunch of boring people ripped her off. Stealing from lots of places is inspiration, but stealing from one place is plagiarism… unless you call it The BreadTube Style, and then it's fine. I don't even know what a BreadTube is, I just woke up one day and was told that I was in it, and that people hated me for being in it. I don't even know what it is!
i understand where this jab is coming from-- the whole BreadTube scene was a melodramatic nightmare, on account of being an audience-invented genre which that audience (and later creators who emerged from that audience) often inaccurately treated as a coherent movement. i understand the frustration expressed by a lot of creators in that first generation of left-ish essayists (Hbomb, Lindsay Ellis, Dan Olson, Contrapoints etc) with the atmosphere of that moment, and certainly don't begrudge them a desire to distance themselves from it and ridicule its shortcomings.
but this brief little jokey aside left a bad taste in my mouth. the creator he's talking about being "ripped off" here is obviously Contrapoints, who brought a colorful theatricality to her early work that elevated it above being something she shot for cheap in her apartment. this went hand in hand with her Socratic style of essaying, giving her characters a strange and vibrant world to occupy. i don't want to say she "did it first" because, let's be real, Natalie Wynn did not invent the idea of using dramatic lighting on the internet. but she was certainly the first person i saw on youtube doing it in video essays, and yeah, a lot of people followed her example including me!
but that's not the same thing as plagiarism, is it? this whole video is an extensive exploration of what genuinely counts as plagiarism: taking someone else's words and pretending that they're yours. style is almost never part of that conversation across the whole 4 hours, except where it involves use of prepackaged assets like transitions and stock footage, which Hbomb deliberately notes is fine and normal except when people act like they're the ones who invented it (this particularly comes up in the Legal Eagle section). by the terms of this joke, Abby Thorne of PhilosophyTube falls under the category of "boring people" who were "ripping off" Contrapoints even moreso than those who just lit videos like her, because she even does the Socratic-style dialogues! but somehow i don't think Harris would call that plagiarism. if the concern re: bisexual lighting in BreadTube is attribution, all i can say is that Natalie Wynn is one of the single most discussed and cited creators in the whole field. virtually everyone i can think of who "ripped her off" back in the day openly acknowledged being inspired by her at every possible opportunity. of course that's just my own biased recollection of the history, so who knows, maybe there are people out there acting like they did it first. but unlike most of the other victims of plagiarism provided in this video, Natalie Wynn is not wallowing in obscurity. her work is IMMENSELY successful, to the point where she's arguably the closest thing to a household name you can get from this space.
now, i'm sensitive to a joke like this because i always felt like if anything Natalie got too much credit for "inventing" the so-called "BreadTube style". her use of colored lights was striking and unique, yes, but it was also rudimentary and not particularly complicated. i worked in film lighting for enough years to see this "style" as equivalent to late 1910's era silent films blindly grasping at the bare fundamentals of montage that have become the backbone of all cinema. it's good, but it ain't Citizen Kane. i really hoped people would take Natalie's baseline not as a concrete template, but as a challenge to get even more ambitious and filmic with their lighting setups! instead things have stagnated, and we've kinda circled back around to a very slightly more colorful version of the standard pre-Contrapoints look. this is by no means to play down the work that Natalie did, because i know from my own years making video essays that it is NOT easy or simple to set up even rudimentary lighting that looks good. but come on man, have some perspective. she's a philosopher, not an electrician!
what's worse is that later on in the video, Hbomb talks about how many creators were inspired by AVGN to do twists on his formula, and why this was a good thing. near the end, when he's very rightly shouting out many underrated queer essayists, he spends a good chunk of time celebrating the spirit of remix that is so unique to the internet, insisting that there's a real tangible difference between plagiarism and inspiration. this is good! i agree with him! which is why it's so bizarre that there's this one aside that equates using bisexual lighting to plagiarism! it's a disarmingly hypocritical moment in an otherwise relatively on-point video, and its presence kind of weakens the rest of the essay for me (especially if you're sensitive to how near this comes to being all-out drama youtube, as clearly even Hbomb is by his own admission in the video).
the last i'll say is that i find it frustrating when a creator in Hbomb's position tries to act like BreadTube wasn't A Thing. no, it wasn't A Thing the way quite a lot of people thought it was (including many who called themselves BreadTubers). but these creators were often collaborating with each other to make guest appearances, read quotes, etc. certainly they mentioned each other often enough, which couldn't help solidifying in the audience's mind that there was indeed A Thing happening that involved multiple people with similar creative & political goals, regardless of whether or not that was the creators' intent. it wasn't formal, and it certainly wasn't A Movement (the lack of an articulated ideological spine is a BIG part of why things went sour the way they did), but they were happy enough to play along before Drama blew the whole endeavor to smithereens. and notably, successive generations of creators (like Sophie From Mars, Jack Saint, Lily Alexandre, CJ the X, and yes, also me again) saw the BreadTube genre as a place where interesting things were happening, where the kinds of things they/we wanted to create were encouraged and supported vociferously. it's no coincidence that a LOT of up-and-coming trans creators doing very BreadTube-y things got a huge boost from guesting on Hbomb's DK64 Nightmare Stream in 2019 (including me again, haha, oops), because there was A Thing happening even if most people were wrong about what, exactly, it was. none of this is to say that Hbomb should call himself a BreadTuber-- god no, i hope no one does that ever again, i'm embarrassed that i did back in the day! but this history does exist. mostly i just think this joke would've been better left on the cutting room floor.
okay, i think that's enough criticism for one day. one thought i had coming out of this is that i wish more video essays would publish concurrently with a written version on a dedicated website. not just a transcript but an article-format version. i wonder sometimes about the difficulty of indexing video essays, of getting their contents into a historical record that can be printed out and put into a library. but anyway, all my gripes aside, it's a good video and you should go watch it! preferably in chunks over a day or two!
#vidrev#video essay#video essay review#video recommendation#hbomberguy#plagiarism#youtube#breadtube#Youtube
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So today I watched the new Hbomber guy video “Plagiarism and You(Tube)” and really loved it! But also it gave me some thoughts as someone in the “video essay” genre (even though over time I’ve debated the continue use of that label but thats neither here nor there) so I wanted to share them here. I’d highly recommend watching that video to get better context on what ill be saying here!
The feeling I got from the video oddly was a sense of pride. Seeing that the biggest channels in the space, wether in queer analysis or video essays where content mills that practiced in content theft has made me feel quite a bit better in the time I’ve taken with my videos. My dnd video was such a long piece to write because I spent so much time making absolutely sure that my observations for the large majority of the video where my own and making sure that I was able to find examples to back up my work. Not to mention all the analysis I left out of the video because I thought it had been done better by others and I didn’t want to step on there toes. I included over 20 sources for that video even though I didn’t quote or use any ideas from them since I purely valued there text as partner text that allowed me to begin thinking about these subjects. So its crazy to me to imagine just stealing shit whole sale with no regard and not even siting them LMAO! Its kind of affirming to know that i shouldn’t feel pressured to keep up with the upload schedules or content production of the biggest creators just because they aren’t actually making the content! Good writing and good art take time and I want to assure you all that I’ll always take my time and try my best to share observations that could only be born from my point of view.
Also I just wanted to say please do check out any source I put in the description of my videos because if im including them it usually means I actually think they’re fucking dope and super useful!
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okay so i know I'm some random. guy. on the Internet but my stupid brain finds all of my opinions important enough to post on aforementioned internet so I wanted to weigh in on hbomberguy new video because it's really fucking funny. here are some disorganized thoughts.
first off, hi. I'm Shroomi, I'm 16, and I'm a video essayist. i was inspired to pivot to video essays around a year ago by (originally) illuminaughtii, Harris Boober the Guy, and mainly Philosophy Tube. video essays are some of my favorite things, and I watch a lot of them.
im homeschooled, so I end up spending most of my time on YouTube. when you watch as much as I do, it's normally really easy to tell when someone does not care about what they are doing. i inevitably discovered James Somerton around a year ago through his Killing Stalking video, and it became very apparent to me that he was using a genuine crisis of media literacy to push a misogynistic agenda. that's all I remember from that video (and I'm not rewatching it)-- he made no good points, no clippable quotes, just... really hated teenage girls? for some reason?
this is a common thread in specifically white queer media, to direct an unreasonable amount of hate towards straight women, or those we perceive as such (the author of Love, Simon is a good example of his contempt). it's rooted in misogyny, as is everything. this is a common thread in Somerton's videos, it seems. I'll admit my knowledge of his videos is meager at best, but I have watched enough of his content to tell he is stuck in this phase of the white queer journey. he still has many internal (though he externalizes them quite a bit) biases to work through before he can even be a good video essayist. good media is unbiased media, and he has a clear bias. bro hates women. well, that may be an overstatement, but he seems to have this contempt and disregard for women and their ideas.
I'm not going to pretend the Killing, Stalking video and his contempt for the fanbase wasn't at least a little deserved. for those who aren't fatally online, Killing, Stalking is a gruesome account of a (fictional) abusive relationship. the fanbase, however, treated it as a love story. since Somerton's video on the subject came out, the fanbase has largely died down, which is honestly a good thing, but the amount of hatred Somerton seemed to have for these teenage girls who failed to understand the true meaning of Killing, Stalking was unprecedented. I found it odd to look at his subscriber count and find it over 100k; why would such a large YouTuber cover something so niche? but it is clear now to me that he was trying to push this gentle version of misogyny.
this isn't even mentioning the true subject of hbomberguy's video, plagiarism. as a previously dedicated Illuminaughtii fan, i should be talking about that. but I'm stuck on the contempt for women.
I'm probably gonna rewatch the video and reblog an addition after I sleep I've been awake for like 20 hours so apologies if this is poorly worded
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Plagiarism and You(Tube)
youtube
Bro... The part of the video Abt this gay ytbr tht apparently a lot of ppl know abt n watch is so wild. Like everyone here is blatantly plagerism and defensive abt it. Obviously knowing its wrong..n the fans defend it but like if youve been in any high school class that involves writing papers youd realize that when you directly quote someone you Have to give the source and author. Right then. Not later. Not just saying the name of author and book..if its a book you have to state a page. But obviously this hucksters dont bc then itd be clear theyre literally stealing words... I was already pissed when i found out this asshole stole from a jes tom article i saw red
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Hello. I hope your matchups are still open. I have been curious about them for a while. I tried to keep my answers as succinct as possible but I am a very verbose individual, and I do not apologize for it. But do take all the time you need to read it through, I do not mind the wait. - Polaris
What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? "Take Me to Church" by Hozier. I love his music. My favourite lyric is: "No masters or kings when the ritual begins, there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin. In the madness and soil, of that sad earthly scene, only then I am human. Only then I am clean." It's raw, it's dark and vivid, and it has a level of inhumanity in the words I relate to a lot. There is power in the lyrics, and an implication of love that is not romantic, nor familial, nor platonic, but something more queerplatonic. Which I love and relate to very deeply, as someone not inclined towards romance, sexuality, family, etc. It's rare to see, and Hozier is the KING of that kind of lyricism. Also, the accompaniment is just beautiful and Hozier's singing voice is stunning.
What is your Enneagram type? 4w5.
Do you love gargantuan YouTube video essays, and if so, which is your favourite and why? I live for them. My current favourite is Plagiarism and You(Tube) by HBomberguy. I love all his work, as it's so well-researched, witty, and incredibly entertaining. Whether it's about things I know so much about or nothing about, I always love what he does. And that newest video was such a rabbit hole, and very informative.
Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. I have had many, and to an extent still do. They take the form of characters I like and relate to. I would take a piece of myself that was similar to that character and isolate it, giving me someone who both understood me, and still differed enough to chat with me, debate, give advice, and so forth. I didn't really have imaginary friends until the age of around 11, and they've been a constant ever since, and there are quite a lot of them.
What is your go-to way to fall asleep? With my window open I can hear the sound of rain or snow or rustling wind and watch fog or water drops fly into my room, under a weighted blanket with it bunched up around me like a large hug or spoon. It makes me feel safe.
If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) I have changed my name to Yuri, for a few reasons. One is the connection to my birth country and culture. I may not feel the most connected to it socially but it's still an important part of me. I also quite like the phonetic sound of it. And I may have unintentionally been inspired by several pieces of media I like. This name is common in many cultures, and several of my favourite characters when I was younger shared the name.
What is your favourite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Taking a Chance With a Sadistic Demon. The lore in that video is incredibly satisfying to chew on, Vega's voice is comforting to listen to, his characterization in that video in particular is incredibly dense and nuanced, and so much more. I could talk about Vega all day.
What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. Guy. Guy is a bit too... much for my taste. Too much chaos, too much energy, too much explicitness which I can only handle in VERY specific cases. He seems like a great guy but I got off on the wrong foot with him from his first video and have had no inclination to listen to his series ever since.
Tell me about that one book/movie/TV show you know all the words to. I don't often find myself memorising large chunks of media but I have many singular quotes from different media. A few from The Song of Achilles, from Critical Role's 'Mighty Nein' campaign, and a LOT of songs from musicals. Some of my current favourites are Epic the Musical, Heathers, and Six.Â
Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Avior. I love his insights into the world, his curiosity, his carefulness, his care and so forth. I actually liked him more before the romance reveal, though I still find him an amazing character who I would love to befriend. Also, the lore from his series made me love it again.
Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? Not really. I can ramble about any of my interests at any level of energy or time of day.
Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Spicy or Salt and Vinegar chips, fruit mentos, and any sour Ice Sparkling Water.
Tell me about your favourite playlist at the moment. If you mean music, I don't really... do those. But as for Redacted... it's so hard to pick. Sadism's Hold and Invisiboi are both horrifying in the most visceral ways and are always a treat to watch those times that I do. All the lore-heavy ones (Balance, Sovereign State, Project Meridian, Carpe Deus, etc) feed my hunger for lore. Project Meridian was my first series and holds a special place in my heart. Carpe Deus and Kody's playlists are my go-to relaxing playlists because I love their voices, so I listen to them the most often. I cannot give a precise answer.
What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? I do not have any. I do not see any media I like as 'guilty pleasure' media. I like it, and that's that. I am cringe and I am free.
And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!
My favourite colours are brown, black and blue. I'm a digital artist, in University for it, and I do a bit of writing on the side though I have not posted any of it yet. I'm a fan of the night. Of storms. Of clouds blotting out the sun. Of pouring rain and winter's snow, and bike rides down foggy roads. I love learning in general, but especially about art, society and people, and all the subjects related to that. Also, I alluded to it before but I do not feel human. I may be a person, but I am not human, at least socially speaking. I find more connection with the inhuman, like robots, vampires, demons, monsters, or just villains. And I am not unhappy with the separation between myself and the rest of humanity. I have my small set of interests, morals, thoughts and feelings which I may never full be able to articulate or share with others, but I still like to socialize with them regardless. They're lovely, even if confusing and sometimes tiresome.
Interesting. So Type 4w5s are characterized as contemplative, thoughtful, typically introverted people, and it seems like you’d like someone of the same temperament. With that in mind, I think Camelopardalis would be a good match for you.
I’m really intrigued by your feelings of being disconnected to humanity and the fact you don’t seem bothered by that. I like Cam for you because he’d relate to that the most. Like, I can see him feeling your contentment with that fact and vibing with it, shrugging with a little smile and being like “I’m not really human; we can be whatever we are together” you know? Also, when you said you didn’t like Guy’s explicit nature, I was trying to come up with his opposite in that respect, and Cam is who immediately came to mind.
Another reason I think Cam works well for you is that I feel his immortality will lend him a sort of… unrushed, unbothered attitude toward relationships. I can see him not needing to label what y’all have as romantic or platonic and just wanting to spend quality time with you, and it’d be such wonderfully quality time. Cam would be such a supportive partner while you pursue your degree, bringing you water or tea while you work. When you’re not studying, the two of you go on walks at night, Cam pointing out familiar constellations.
Song:
Watch the sunrise along the coast/ As we're both getting old/ I can't describe what I'm feeling/ And all I know is we're going home/ So please don't let me go, oh/ Don't let me go, oh-oh-oh/ And if it's right/ I don't care how long it takes/ As long as I'm with you/ I've got a smile on my face
It took me a bit, but this is almost exactly the kind of vibe that I was thinking about. Like, it’s a little sad, because I think loving d(a)emons can be a little sad, but it’s mostly loving. It’s mostly about appreciating the little moments together and smiling about the time you’ve had versus crying when it’s over.
Runner-ups:
I like Anton as a runner-up because he had that same mild temperament that Cam does; if you had expressed displeasure at feeling separate from human nature, he would have just nudged forward in front of the serenity daemon. Sam is a good runner-up because he’d be a great night walk companion. I also think he’d commiserate, feeling separate from the human he once was, though he’d be leaning more negatively against it.
note: thank you for waiting and sending in a submission đź’š
Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌
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THANK YOU for explaining the pathologic joke
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Image descriptions below the cut:
[Images 1-3 ID and source: Screenshots from hbomberguy's video, "Pathologic is Genius, And Here's Why." The character Bachelor (Daniil Dankovsky) has said, "Truth does not do as much good in the world as the appearance of truth does evil." The subtitles tell you that hbomberguy is saying,
Oh, wow. That's a good quote. I'm gonna use that in a future video and pretend a philosopher said it. Watch out for that.
/end ID]
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[Image 4 ID and source: Screenshot from hbomberguy's video, "Plagiarism and You(Tube)." White text on a starry background seems like it is the kind of pithy quote you would see on Facebook etc. The official Pathologic portrait for the Bachelor is used as a floating head to the right of the text, adding to that impression. The text reads:
Truth does not do as much good in the world as the appearance of truth does evil. - Daniil Dankovsky
/end ID]
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[Image 5 ID: Meme of John Mulaney from the Netflix Is A Joke special, saying "and then I didn't," edited to read:
and then he did
/end ID]
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[Image 6 ID: Screenshot from hbomberguy's video, "Plagiarism and You(Tube)." hbomberguy is staring into the camera, talking, with Image 4 floating to the left of his head /end ID]
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[Image 7 ID and source: Screenshot from hbomberguy's video, "Plagiarism and You(Tube)." hbomberguy is still talking, with Image 4 still floating to the left of his head. There is new text on the screen, below his face, reading:
"Truth does not do as much good in the world as the appearance of truth does evil." - François de La Rochefoucauld
A portrait of Rochefoucauld floats to the right of the text /end ID]
might have taken like 4 years but oh boy he sure made good on that promise lol
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[SF] Something something immortal guy. Working title
Hey guys. Wrote this while bored at work. Feel free to shit all over it lol. Go for the classic criticism sandwich. Yes my formatting is HOT garbage. Hope you enjoy.
The last thing you think of when you become immortal is the end. In your newfound perspective the end ceases to be a consideration. When people think about being immortal they tend to only think ahead to around the time they would have naturally died. The end you never think of is the end of the world. I gained my immortality in 1944. Now here I am 374 years later floating amongst the remains of earth. Our home. Obliterated by a planetoid larger than our moon. You couldn't imagine the chaos. The fear. Our people with all our technology, and power thought ourselves the rulers of all creation. Yet even with all that we were no more powerful than the dinosaurs before us to prevent our destruction. Even as an immortal I wasn't immune to the fear. The worst part was how long we knew it was coming. A long range satellite telescope caught a random glimpse of it moving through the stars. The first few weeks after its discovery were a mad dash by governments to keep it quiet while they tried to stop it. Every attempt failed, and then they went public two weeks before impact. There was a lot of rioting. Some people just didn't do anything. They just shut down. I didn't know if I'd survive or not, so I did my best to try to comfort those around me. A few days before impact we could all see it coming. Looming over all of us in the sky getting closer by the minute. In a last ditch effort the nations of the world came together and launched every nuclear missile we had at our disposal. What we watched that day in the skies above the earth I doubt will ever be replicated on any world. When that failed to even slow it down everything stopped. People stopped rioting, looting, and fighting. It seemed almost at once that entire world resigned itself to its fate, and gave up. Then it was just over. It made ground just off Chicago in Lake Michigan. I was standing on navy pier watching it. There were a few people who had come as well. Beyond us few the city was deserted. It flash vaporized all the water in the lake. The old couple and young man with me were both killed instantly. After that I don't know what happened. There was the most deafening noise is ever heard, and a wall of ash and fire. Then blackness. While unconscious the impact had shattered the earth. It was over when I woke up. I wondered if anyone else had survived, but quickly abandoned that thought. It's an terribly numbing sensation to realize that you are the last of your kind. It's a crushing loneliness that cannot be described. I curled into a ball and floated for a while. After a long while I decided I had to go somewhere. Over the course of my long life I had studied the stars intently. I can't even tell you how long it took me to find it, but I decided to head towards Proxima Centauri. The closest star to ours. I figured it was my best bet. So I found a piece of debris, and crouched on it then pushed off with all my might. At first I thought I was making good progress then I realized it takes a very long time for light to get from there to earth. Luckily I had spare time. As I floated farther and farther I found myself looking at where I was coming from and not where I was going. Was I being homesick, or just realizing everything I had ever known was back there? I'll tell you sometime if I ever figure it out. What I can tell you about is the view. Looking back on our solar system was a sight to behold. To steal a quote from the hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy. (Cause lets be honest. Who's gonna sue me for plagiarism.) Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind bogglingly big it is. I realized that Proxima Centauri was a long ways off so I thought I should check out our solar system first, but quickly abandoned the thought. Once I very painfully made landfall on one of the 9 planets in our solar system. (I love you Pluto) I wouldn't be able to leave. Cause I'm no Matt Damon. So I'd either have to get very lucky, and find some crazy alien stuff, or wait for the planet I was on to explode in some way. Both those options weren't appealing, so I opted to keep on trucking to Proxima. I'm gonna go ahead and skip all the boring parts or you'll be reading this for the next few millions years. A few interesting things of note did happen. Seeing a comet in the night sky is always very pretty. Seeing one pass you by, by only a few dozen meters is awe inspiring/terrifying. The other discovery I made very quickly. Space for those of you readers who've not spent time in it. Is cold. Really, really, Fucking. Cold. At least the solar winds are nice and toasty. Rich with skin searing radiation. So let's run down the list of things I have. Ruined clothes Melted phone Body so cold my balls are snuggled up next to my heart. A very long trip ahead of me. One sock. Could be worse.
Let's jump ahead to me leaving the solar system. After blowing a kiss to Pluto. I continued on my trip to Proxima. Now. Let's do some math, Proxima is 4.2 light years away. Earth to the solar rim is about 9 billion miles. One light year is 5.879 x 10 to the power of 12, miles. So I'm about 4.1998 light years away. Only took me about 250 years I think. So I should be there just in time to watch the star die and collapse into a black hole. Wonder if that would actually kill me...You can kiss my ass Steven Hawking you dead genius prick. Busting holes in my very well laid out plans. I gotta think of a way to pick up speed.
I came up with a risky strategy. If I keep pumping my arms straight ahead of me in my current trajectory I should increase in speed little by little. The risk is that I could alter my angle by a few degrees, and that could mess up my approach vector for Proxima. It doesn't sound like much, but a few degrees of difference in angle across a span of light years can result in me missing by billions of miles. Well after thinking for a few days on the pros and cons of my new plan I decided to give it a shot. With very calculated pumps in slow succession I made sure to keep my eyes on my target. With nothing to use as a reference I really didn't know if my plan was working. I'll just say it did. Kinda. I eventually worked myself up to the speed that voyager was moving at. Which is pretty damn fast. Again, kinda. It would still take millions of years to get to Proxima. My only hope was to get picked up by something or crash on some rock with intelligent life on it.
Turns out the scientists back in the 20teens were right. There was in fact a 10th planet in the solar system. It was just a lot lot farther out than they thought. I immediately changed course and aimed for this planet. I'll be honest. In all the science fiction movies, video games, and books I've seen in my life I gotta tell you this was the most foreboding planet I've ever seen. It was black. But it was an unnatural black. The kind of black you put on something you don't want to be found. I glided in silence towards the planet lost in thought. What would I find there? Life? Ruins? Would they be friendly aliens? I know that since it's their planet I'm technically the alien but shut up its my story. As I moved towards it it dawned on me how immense the planet was. By 2120 civilian space flights were pretty common, so I've seen the earth from space. This planet was massive. Dozens if not hundreds of times the size of earth. Finally after what felt like forever I could feel myself being pulled towards the planet. It didn't occur to me until about ten seconds before I hit it that this planet might have an atmosphere. Then I hit it. Hard. All my possessions burned off. My phone, shirt, pants, even my precious sock. Falling out of the sky stark naked at terminal velocity. Not as fun as it sounds. Once I cleared the black skies I was blown away by the amount of lights, and buildings I was seeing. I was so happy. Finally I'd be able to come into contact with someone, or something. That something turned out to be the ground. One splitting headache, and quick climb out of my crater later, I took the time to look around. I walked around for a bit and didn't see anyone. The buildings were pretty pristine. Was everyone on a lunch break? Maybe I can get them to come to me? I yelled as loud as I could a couple of times, but nothing. It was unsettling to say the least. All the buildings stretched way into the sky, so maybe no one lived on the ground anymore? I think there was a cartoon like that a long time ago. Anyway. I picked a building at random and went inside. The doors wouldn't open at first. It took me some time to wiggle them open. As soon as a crack opened a gust of air blew out whipping the doors open and knocking me on my ass. Swearing as I picked myself up I took a step inside. And no it's not what you were thinking. No dead bodies that have been in there for years and years. It was empty. And clean as a whistle. I walked around looking for anything familiar when I found a trio of doors next to each other with tubes rising above them into the ceiling. Raising my hopes thinking they would work I hit a button. To my great delight stuff happened! So that's a win for me today. It took about 15 minutes for it to arrive but there it was. An elevator. The buttons looked familiar enough so I pushed the one that I guessed would be the penthouse. The elevator rose quickly, but I knew it would be a while so for the first time in a few hundred years I sat down. And god damn did it feel good. I realized as I sat down that i was still naked. Kinda forgot about that. New mission. Find, or make clothes. Don't want humanities first contact to go south due to errant dick.
I hit a random button stopping the elevator a few floors short of the top. Again, nobody was there. But there was furniture. I think? It was growing out of the ground like it was molded from the floor. Weird organic shapes. But sitting proved easy enough. The seats were enormous. Way larger than I could ever hope to accommodate. But if there's seats they must have been organic life right? I can't imagine machines lounging around, so my spirits rose. Now if only I could find any of these guys. I hope these guys had curtains or something. I'm getting tired of being naked, and my butts cold. I'm hungry, but at least I don't have to worry about starving. Success! I found clothes. Hopefully. I think it might be some sort of battle suit or something. It's a jet black liquid that was suspended in a clear tube. Every other tube was empty except for this, a very sinister black, and purple one. When I touched the glass it slowly moved towards my hand. I didn't seem evil in its movement. It moved with a sense of want. Like it wanted companionship. Well I hit buttons below the tube till it opened and the black stuff slid onto the floor without a sound. I crouched down, and reached out to touch it. It mirrored my movements exactly. It felt soft. Softer than anything I've encountered. As soon as I touched it ran up my arm, quickly spread over my body. I didn't really panic since it couldn't suffocate me, so I just let it do what it was going to do. It slowly wrapped around my head, and once it had a full seal on me parts of it started to harden and change shape. The shoulders bulged up and out. My legs became almost completely covered in what seemed like armor. It was pretty awesome to watch. The not so awesome part was the pressure I was starting to feel pressing in on my boys. It started to crush me, and when I started to beg the suit to stop while sounding like a soprano singer it relaxed. After everything had settled I decided to test out the suit. It moves with me really well. Like it's not even there. I feel more capable with this thing. Powerful even. I quickly discovered I could run faster, jump higher, and was much stronger. Felt like those PF Flyers I wore as a kid. Now that I had some clothes on I popped back into the elevator and headed to the top. The door opened and there was a barricade. After moving the stuff out of the way I wandered into the room to find no one. Which is confusing the hell out of me. Why barricade the way in to protect no one. And no one before me has made an attempt to get through the barricade. I explored the floor. Mostly one big hallway so far, but I'm not seeing any signs of a struggle. No broken windows. No holes in the walls. Zip. What were these people trying to keep out. I found another much sturdier barricade at the end of the hallway. Took a while to make a hole in it. I'd never be able to without the suit. On the other side there was a massive atrium. It had to be the size of a football stadium. It was completely empty except for something in the middle. After jogging towards it for a few minutes I realized what it was. Bodies. A big pile of bodies. Torn up, gnawed on bodies. Then I realized the barricades weren't about keeping something out. But keeping it in. I started to go back for the entrance when I started hearing thunder. I stopped for an instant when the hud of my suit blasted me with a warning. Before I could finish reading it I found myself flying through the air and slamming into the wall with enough force to be embedded into it. I should remind you that I was close to the center of the ring. I flew a good 300 yards into a wall. I never even saw what hit me. But it was ungodly strong. I pried myself free from the wall just in time to see what hit me.
I'm not a xenobiologist, but I know that this thing wasn't natural. Something seriously deformed this thing. Being immortal pretty much tosses fear out the window. In my entire life I've never known this kind of fear. The creature was tall. At least 12 feet tall. It was horribly deformed. Bones were jutting out of it all over its body. It didn't have eyes. None that I could see. It looked like it grew a couple sizes very quickly and the seams just popped while staying alive. It roared again and again. I know the sound of pain when I hear it. This creature wasn't happy about its current state. Part of me wanted to help the beast, but the very large pile of broken shredded bodies told me that wasn't super likely to happen. I'm gonna have to think about this for a minute.
I'm fucked. That's my breakdown on this situation. Fucked.
I've tried to leave three times only to find myself leaving new me shaped holes in the walls. After that I tried to approach the beast. New hole. Back away to the wall, meet opposite wall. So far the only action that doesn't get me flying lessons is sitting still. I've been here for 2 days, and I gotta say. This planet isn't winning any favors from me. I'm getting annoyed prying myself out of the damn wall. I may be immortal but shit still hurts. The creature hasn't moved an inch since it last hit me. It's currently about 400 yards away glaring at me. I think. No eyes makes it hard to tell. Anyway. I think I'm gonna do what my uncle did when he got drunk. Yell incoherent shit, and hope it pans out. I stood up, and started walking slowly towards the beast. The beast, being the jerk off that it is roared and rushed to reintroduce me to the wall. I kept my pace, and when the creature was 20 meters from me I started yelling. "STOP!!" I bellowed as loud as I could. The creature thundered to a halt right in front of me. Head inches from mine. "That's better. No more hitting you hear me!?" No response. "Well at least you didn't hit me. Ok. What we are going to do now is I'm going to cross this room and find out who that pile of horribleness is. Ok?" Again. No response. I'll take that as an 'yes', so let's get going" I took my first step, and nothing happened. Step two, nothing. I got all the way to step 33 when there was a flash, and I woke up face down a few inches into the floor. "Ok. That's fucking it." I pulled myself upright. Looked over at the creature. It was about 12 yards away. Judging by the groove in the floor it hit me in the back of the head, and I skidded along the ground coming to a halt in my crater for nap time. "Hope you're proud of yourself big guy, because now I'm gonna take it out of your ass." I started sprinting towards the beast. If this thing can die then I'll win. No matter how long it takes I will outlast it. The beast was on me in a matter of seconds. It leapt into the air one arm cocked back, ready to crush me with crazed fervor. I jumped towards it, cannonballing straight into its gut at full speed. I heard the grunt of pain come out of it with satisfaction. Before I could celebrate however it's mighty arms wrapped around me. It turned in mid air, and with all its strength and weight; drove me into the ground. I gasped in pain as the air was forced out of me. It then grabbed my ankle and tossed me like a garbage bag. I slammed into wall hard enough I bounced out of my crater. Picking myself up i could see the creature getting ready to charge. I shouted at my my suit. "Cmon! It's coming! I need a weapon!"
PROCESSING... WEAPONS ACTIVATED... WARNING! AMMUNITION DEPLETED.... WEAPONS RESTRICTED TO SWORD, GLAIVE, SPEAR... "Fine whatever just give me the spear!!!"
-SPEAR ACTIVATED-
Suddenly a spear started forming on my arm. At least a foot long pole did. As soon as I pulled it off of my forearm it extended to the perfect length for me. The tip turned into a wicked point. Even being immortal I wanted no part of that blade touching me. Quickie interruption. In case you're wondering. Over my long life I took up the age old art of "hit stuff really hard." Ive master several disciplines, and many weapons. It's pretty easy when you have multiple lifetimes to work on it. But over that entire time, I gravitated to one weapon above all others. And that my dear readers. Is the spear. I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Enjoy the show.
This time with more confidence I charged the beast again. It snarled in rage at my refusal to die like the rest of its visitors. It punched two neat craters into the ground before charging me. As it entered striking distance I pole vaulted over the creature, and swiped a great slash down its back. Bright blue congealed blood oozed out of its wound as it howled in agony. I snapped out my spear sending the blade deep into its shoulder. Twisting the shaft I widened the wound preventing it from closing. The beast was defenseless under my onslaught. The blade danced around me as I cut, stabbed, and slashed countless wounds into the creature. Blood pooled at its feet, but I couldn't deal a killing blow. The bones protruding all over its body prevented my spear hitting its final mark. I'd have to bleed the creature dry. While readying my spear for another thrust, with speed I thought no longer possible its fist came fast and low, crashing into my chest; rocketing me across the room into the wall. I lost my spear as I was flying. Pulling myself from the wall I began frantically searching for it, before spotting it almost midway between the two of us. "Really?.... Seriously. Fuck this planet." "Suit. If you can hear me. I need speed. All you can give me. I have to get to that spear before that thing." -PROCESSING- -SPEED INCREASED TO MAXIMUM ALLOWANCE- The suit changed around me. I could feel it making my legs stronger. Longer. Better suited for high speed. "Oh ho ho. I am never taking this thing off!" As I pressed off with my foot I felt the ground crack, and splinter under the new force of my speed. I was almost passing the spear before I realized where I was. I grabbed the spear, and held it tight. Thinking of a plan. The beast was stunned by my newfound abilities as well, it's head tilted towards one side as it stared at me. It quickly regained its composure, and set off once again to try and kill me. But with my new speed it was no match. If I couldn't cut through its bone I'll have to punch through it. I willed the suits strength into my arm, and threw the spear as hard as I could muster. Spinning as it flew the missile was a blur in the air. It slammed into the beast's chest as it ran at full speed. Combined with the spears speed the bones protecting its chest gave way as if it were tinfoil. The blade pushed out of its back, and with a gurgling growl; the beast slumped to the ground on its side. Lifeless. Panting hard I dropped to my knees and threw my fists into the air in victory. "YES! No more hitting the god dammed wall!!!" I fell back and relaxed for the first time in days. Laying down I took in just how amazing this suit is. I think I might have survived even without being immortal. The impacts definitely hurt, but I know it was much less intense than it should have been. With that moment passed I hauled myself onto my feet, and went to retrieve my weapon. With a quick grunt of effort I pulled the spear free. Placing it against my arm the shaft shortened, and sank back into the black material. "So cool. Alright now. Time to check out this pile of shit that started this mess."
The pile had been there a while. There wasn't much to discern from the bodies. They were all mangled beyond my ability to mentally put them together in any sensible way. What I could figure out is that this species was tall, has 2, or 4 arms. They also unlike the beast sported 2 sunken eyes. Perhaps the creatures mutation spread grew bone over the eyes? They didn't seem to wear any clothes, but then I noticed they are all modified in some ways. Some have hands replaced with mechanical ones designed for combat, while others have they're entire heads replaced with improved optical capabilities, and I'm guessing improved cognitive functions. The biggest one was the most modified. All but it's head had been replaced. It's chest was caved in, but it was easy to tell that it was once very formidable armor. In all honesty this looks like a combat squad. There's about 8 of them. The ring area was not pristine when I got here either. My guess is this creature was lured here, and while this team was trying to kill it whilst others barricaded the hallways out, presumably before moving to the higher floors. That might be what happened here. These creatures arrived, and moved up the buildings driving people higher, and higher as they evacuated. But that didn't make sense. The lobby was utterly unmarked. If I were defending a building, you hold the entrance while the others escape upwards. "Well there's only one way to find out. Back to the elevator." Once back into the elevator I pushed for the top floor. As it started to rise it dawned on me that any survivors running from that beast might not be happy about the elevator going up. "Spear" I said quietly, and the spear unfolded once more from my arm. I stepped to one side of the doors for good measure. The elevator glided to a silent stop, and the doors slid open. Well no gunfire, so that's a plus. But momma didn't raise no fool children. I stuck my hand out, and instantly pulled it back in after a gunshot rang out, a split second later my yelp of pain followed. The armor caught the bullet, but God dammit that hurt! Plus side. At least I'm not alone. Let's hope these trigger happy guys speak English. "Hold your fire!! Friendly!! I'm not that beast!" That's what I said anyway. What came out of the suit was pure gibberish. "Oh god if you're translating, please be translating properly." More gibberish rang out from the hall. Suddenly a voice rang out in my head. "Where is the creature?!" Gotta tell ya. Hearing a voice in your head that doesn't sound like you is trippy. "Dead" I called out. "I fought it for 2 days before spearing it through the heart." I held the spear out into the doorway wiggling it for emphasis. "You lie!" The voice hissed. "Our best warriors fell to the beast." "You mean a few floors down in the big room?" A flurry of voices rose up. "He saw the room, and made it out! He must have killed it!" Said one. "Lies" called the first. "It's more likely this creature saw the beast and fled before it could reach him" I decided to interrupt. The past few hundred years of being utterly alone gnawed at my patience until it was at an all time low. I wanted to talk to someone, and not get thrown into the wall for my troubles. "Listen. I will take you down there. We can both put our weapons down, and see for ourselves. Deal?" The murmuring intensified. "Fine the voice called out, but if you lie, you are dead where you stand." Buddy if only you knew.
A shadow entered the elevator. Quickly followed by a towering figure. Easily 10 feet tall. The man thingy had dark blue skin. Almost black out of the light. It looked down on me. It's deep eyes studying me. It's eyes were spectacular to look at. I found myself staring. They were jet black, but with white light swirling within them. It introduced itself. "I am Forsciun Xelalmos" (For-she-un Ze-lal-mos) of the Shalore people. Who are you?" I steadied myself. "I am Connor Flamewright. A human from the now destroyed planet earth. The third planet of this system. I am the last of my kind." "We know of this planet. We've tried to communicate, but our calls went unanswered. What happened to it?" It was hard to know where to begin. I hadn't thought about it at all in at least 200 years. "It was hit by a planetoid larger than our moon. We tried all measures to stop it, but nothing worked." "And how did you survive where your kin did not?" "An accident long ago left me immortal. Are you familiar with this word? Immortal?" Forsciun nodded. "I take it this was how you killed the beast?" I nodded. "It was very strong, but with my immortality, and this suit I found, I was able to overcome the beast." Forsciun put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. Then he stepped into the elevator, and pressed the button for the floor I just left. "Show me. If you speak the truth we have much to discuss." I twirled the spear, and slid it back into my arm. "Alright then." The elevator descended in silence for what seemed like eternity before Forsciun spoke. "This suit is of our technology. How is it you are able to use it?" I looked down at the suit, and began to wonder that myself. "I found it by itself in a tube. It seemed to like me, or desired to be used, and after drifting through space for close to a thousand years then free falling naked onto your planet. I just wanted to find some clothes."
We stood in silence the remainder of the ride down. I wasn’t sure what Forsciun was thinking, but I’m sure he was working out how to kill me if I was lying. Whatever happened to these people, it had left them with extremely cautious of the unknown. Once we reached the floor the beast was on I led the way through the barricades towards the atrium. Once we reached the opening I pointed out the remains of the beast. Forsciun couldn’t believe it. He sprinted forwards reaching the dead brute quickly. After examining it in silence he began to survey the room, taking in all the holes in the walls and floor that the creature so generously helped me make. “How long were you here with it?” “Just over 3 days.” He nodded thoughtfully. “These creatures are extremely dangerous. They drove us up our towers away from the streets. Once trapped at the top we were cut off from the rest of our people. We don’t know how many of us are left.” “I wandered the streets for some time calling out. I never heard, or saw anyone.” Forsciun shook his head sorrowfully. “That does not bode well. We managed to kill some of these things, but they were so resistant to our weapons. As if designed to be our destruction.” I could feel his pain, and understood his feeling of helplessness. Wanting nothing more than to save your people, but being powerless to do so. I wanted to help him, and his people. “Do you think if we spread the word of how I killed it we could help save the people still living?” “Possibly.” he murmured. “Not all of my people are warriors. The majority of our military is gone. We used to be able to see the fighting from the windows. Explosions in the distance. Fighting in the streets.” He trailed off. “It’s been some time since we’ve seen that. They either retreated, or were wiped out.” I activated my spear and pounded the pommel on the ground. “We’ll find your people. And slaughter these creatures wherever we find them.” Forsciun lifted his head, and stood straighter. “Thank you earther. For too long I have been concerned only with survival. I had long since given up the notion of being able to save my people. We need to go, and gather my men. We will push the next tower!”
As we returned to the elevator I began to ask Xelalmos about this world, and his people. I discovered that Forsciun was in fact not a name but a title. It meant commander. I high ranking member of their military. “We call this world Krionis, but it is not our home world. Our home world Shalore was located in what your people referred to as the Triangulum Galaxy. We spread far and wide across the galaxy. We held sway over the cosmos. We thought ourselves the rulers of all creation.” He shook his head disapprovingly. “The universe as it turns out. Enjoys putting people in its place. We were settling a new world when we encountered a virus. A long hibernating virus. By the time the first people started to die. It had already spread across the galaxy. A quarantine was set around Shalore. No vessel was allowed to enter within 30 light-seconds of the planet. Many tried to escape the virus by returning to our home, but all were destroyed. In the end our leaders decided that all of our kind that lived on Shalore would be put into stasis, and sent out among the stars. To colonize new galaxies. Our ship brought my ancestors here. To the edge of this galaxy. As we left Triangulum we received news that the blockade was broken, and the planet fell. Our ships would be the last of our kind. That was over 200 million years ago. We reached this planet, and quickly adapted it to our needs. But the universe was not through with us. 20 years ago these creatures started falling from the skies. Devouring, and destroying my people. Which brings us full circle.”
The elevator beeped and the doors to the top floor opened. “That’s a hell over a story. I’m sorry to hear the story of your people.” Then it dawned on me. “Wait a minute. How do you know what we call the galaxies?” “As I mentioned earlier. We’ve known of your existence for some time. In our attempts to make contact we learned much of your people. You were a prosperous people. You advance with a pace not often seen in the universe. Given a few thousand years, and your people would have been a power to behold.” My head hung low. “Would have.” I said to myself. The human race was essentially extinct. I would I guess last forever, until something finally wiped me from existence. At least I would be able to tell the stories of my world, and travel the cosmos letting all know of my people. That was a small comfort. Xelalmos put his hand on my shoulder. “Worry not Con Nor. There is battle ahead. We must prepare. Come. Meet my men.” He moved ahead of me, and walked towards his men. The one I would learn to know as Keez glared at me the entire time Xelalmos explained what he saw, and the coming plan. His team consisted of 4 Including himself. Xelalmos would lead, his second in command Niivu welcomed me congratulating me on my kill. If his commander trusted me, that was enough for him. That left their doctor, Marq. When they said his name I assumed they were having fun with me. They didn’t believe me when I said “mark” was an common name on earth. Marq assured me that it was indeed his name. Finally we come to my biggest fan Keez. Keez was what they called an Arcturant. Basically a walking fortress. Covered in thick armor with heavy weapons mounted on his shoulders. Fearless devastating, and a personality to match.
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@dougielombax Sure! Sorry this got long -- it ended up being the conclusion as I wish it existed in the video.
So like, throughout the essay, hbomberguy regularly says that he feels bad for the fans of the plagiarists he's covering. And the ultimate fault certainly lies first with the plagiarists themselves, but...
As he says, it's not impossible to notice that this stuff is plagiarized. Somerton's stuff may have been harder to catch, sure, but it's blatantly obvious that illuminaughti's stuff is content mill drivel.
A better conclusion to Plagiarism and You(Tube) would have exhorted the viewers to start paying attention to certain warning signs for plagiarism, like:
Not citing sources
Stilted language
Impossibly fast video releases
A lack of knowledge about the subject, or alternately, covering so many topics it's impossible that the creator knows much about any of them
He even makes (most) of these points individually! But the conclusion is just, like, telling people to go watch certain creators, which is great, but does nothing to address the fundamental issue. That is, our current media ecosystem incentivizes plagiarism through a series of endless scrolling and low-effort engagement bait.
I think hbomberguy falls short of making this point because it would imply that, on some level, plagiarism is the fault of the audience. But, like -- isn't it?
By the time hbomberguy called out Somerton with this video, he was making thousands of dollars a month from people who didn't factcheck some pretty basic claims, like "what else on the subject have you read" or "I'm the only gay youtuber making media analysis."
If someone is making a long video about something, they read other peoples' work to do it! And yet the fact that he rarely or never quoted other people didn't seem weird to the many, many people giving him money. They didn't evaluate his work with their own brains before donating, they just believed what they were being told.
It's not nice to say, but the only way to make sure you don't get scammed is to learn the trademarks of scams. And plagiarism is certainly a scam -- and worse, one that tends to pollute the entire rest of the media ecosystem with mis/disinformation. (This is also pointed out several times in the video.)
(I say "scam" because, even if everyone was perfectly media literate, these things would still happen. That's why the ultimate blame lies with the plagiarist themself, who uses social engineering to get away with it. But still. It could happen a lot less.)
The algorithm does not exist ex nihilo. It's built around human behavior, and wants to incentivize you to do certain things, like watching as much YouTube as possible, never going offsite even to Google simple factual claims. The longer you're entranced, the more profit.
So, like -- for your own sake and for the sake of the media ecosystem, you should change how you interact with content. Don't treat it as infinite slop, because it comes from somewhere. Where does it come from? What is it trying to tell you?
These are not idle questions, and in many cases, the answers are upsetting. If you want to avoid being the Patreon fan of the next James Somerton, you can't do that by simply cleaving to the recommendations of whoever is doing The Correctest Think. That's just another form of media illiteracy.
when i first watched the hbomberguy plagarism video i was like, so certain he was building to a conclusion abt how uncritical consumption of online content can lead to supporting plagiarists and scammers, and so we as individuals should try to vet new creators we come across and. No that wasnt his point at all. BUT IT REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN?
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“James made a lot of money repeatedly reuploading a video about the erasure of queer people and he did it by erasing queer people.” this quote from the video really fucking sums it up. i am so heartbroken for all the people who wrote such beautiful, eloquent, personal, well-thought through things just to have them stolen. i feel angry that somerton lied and took money from people and i feel angry on behalf of all the people who were unknowingly funding plagiarism when they thought they were supporting queer writing. god.
rly recommend watching this video it’s heartbreaking and infuriating but so important. i said it was by hbomberguy and the title is plagiarism and you(tube)
only 2h05m into this hbomberguy video but god FUCK james somerton for pretending that he was the victim of a harassment campaign – something that really does happen to queer creators, like, constantly – for being called out for plagiarism, and then using that to turn a real harassment campaign on the person who called him out
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