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cdr2002 · 21 days ago

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Mirror Universe Concepts: Lower Decks main cast

Season 5 is here, might as well share this

Beckett Mariner

Daughter of Carol and Alonzo Freeman, Mariner was born in an Alliance slave camp on Earth. Though her parents did their best to try and keep her out of trouble, Mariner was rebellious by nature and often clashed with Alliance overseers, resulting in harsh punishments including solitary confinement and torture. Prone to using her voice as a weapon, Mariner would mock and belittle her oppressors throughout these punishments, only kept alive because the Klingon overseers found her spirit admirable and the Cardassians were amused by her wit. Mariner never succumbed to any attempt to break her, and even wore her scars proudly, much as her behavior deeply worried her mother and resulted in several arguments.

Eventually, Mariner started a small rebellion in the slave camp, intent on killing or incapacitating the overseers and escaping on a freighter owned by a Ferengi trader that Mariner had gotten into contact with made some deals with, typically using money pickpocketed from overseers or from privileged Alliance-collaborating Terrans. The slave riot that kicked off Mariner’s rebellion would also be its end. Many of her fellow slaves were less equipped for combat than her, and nearly all of them were killed by the overseers during the struggle. Though Mariner successfully killed dozens of her oppressors during the fight, the constant death of friends and even her own father around her finally broke her like no amount of torture ever could. In the end she was fighting just to fight, and would only be saved from death, a death she practically wanted by this point, by two things: the intervention of a Klingon warrior named K’orin, who found her cause and spirit honorable, and the timely arrival of Quimp, her Ferengi contact, aboard a cloaked ship. Contacting her over the communicator she had smuggled into the camp, Quimp urged Mariner that it was time to go, and her surviving allies: K’orin, her then-girlfriend Amina Ramsey, and her mother, saw his wisdom in the matter. Quimp successfully beamed Mariner and the other survivors aboard and then fled Alliance space as quickly as possible.

Though managing to escape, Mariner fell into depression. She grew to loathe the universe around her and rarely offered her trust to anyone for fear of putting them in danger. After years of being forced to hide from the Alliance’s attempts to find them and in particular prosecute K’orin for his betrayal, Mariner eventually set out into the universe as a free woman.

Through Quimp’s connections, she managed to acquire a ship: the SS Cerritos. The Cerritos was far from impressive; a run-down, patched together hulk made from dated technology salvaged after the fall of the Terran Empire. While the Alliance allowed the use of a few such ships as freighters, Terran-style configurations typically invited hostility. Exactly what Mariner wanted: a middle finger to their dominance over the Alpha Quadrant and a ship fast and sturdy enough to pull herself and her crew out of scraps, if necessary.

Her crew was small at first. Not able to handle any more violence or death and simply wanting to escape the Alliance, Carol elected to stay in a small Terran sanctuary city on Ferenginar, which the Alliance ignored due to their lucrative dealings with the Ferengi Coalition. K’orin, having sworn a blood oath to Mariner, readily joined her, as did Quimp, worried about his new friend and hoping they would find some business dealings along the way. Ramsey stayed on the Cerritos for a few months, but ultimately decided to leave once she heard word of a large-scale rebellion organizing against the Alliance.

With her ship, Mariner became an infamous troublemaker throughout the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. The mission of the Cerritos was simple: raise as much hell as they could get away with. Antagonizing Alliance patrols, robbing their installations blind, breaking open slave camps and transferring the slaves to safe worlds, simple acts of vandalism. Mariner was known as a pirate, a hero, a terrorist, and a maverick, respected by some and friend to few.

Over time, her crew grew in size, though not without earning her a death mark from the Orion Syndicate. Mariner reveled in her outlaw status, never staying in one place for long and gaining a reputation for fearless abandon. Per a vouching from Ramsey, and even her mother, who found it in herself to fight, the Terran Rebellion became interested in recruiting Mariner as they took to the task of establishing communication within their cells and growing into a larger organization. Afraid of the commitment and the responsibility for more than a small group, Mariner turned them several times and continued to go her own way.

However, the Rebellion has picked up steam recently, performing daring operations like the taking of Terok Nor, and even capturing Regent Worf. With only her own fears holding her back, Mariner could find a cause worth fighting for, an inspiration like that of Starfleet to her prime universe counterpart. But healing such wounds is far from easy.

Bradward Boimler

Born in Modesto California, Boimler’s family had been simple vineyard owners during the time of the Terran Empire. Little ones for violence, they had been supporters of Spock’s reforms and admired him in the waning days of the Empire. When Earth was conquered by the Alliance, the Klingons and Cardassians, fanciers of good drink themselves, contracted the owners of any vineyards who had survived the assault with with producing Kenar, Bloodwine, and any Terran beverages Alliance members had taken a liking to, in exchange for their lives.

Born into this environment, Boimler found the work painfully dull and longed for something more with his life. However, a universe in the fire grip of the Alliance granted him few options. Nonetheless, Boimler had a yearning to explore the galaxy and see what was out there. This desire became so strong that one night, Boimler stole a Cardassian shuttlecraft and set course for the next closest solar system. However, a failure to input the proper verification codes upon reaching orbit and the fear of death forced Boimler to immediately surrender. In the interrogation that followed, his obvious panic meant that there was little need to torture him and he was quickly assessed as a minimal threat. His captors made the decision to transfer Boimler to a labor facility on Vulcan.

The harsh environment ill-suited Boimler. He was easily frightened, not especially strong, and talkative. Exactly the kind of slave the overseers were liable to simply kill and be done with. What saved Boimler’s life was a transporter malfunction that occurred during one of his shifts, duplicating Boimler and creating his twin, William. The accident fascinated Boimler’s overseers, who believed that their transporters could be modified in order to create an infinite supply of slave labor for the Alliance, an accomplishment which would surely greatly advance their careers. More opportunistic and ambitious than his progenitor due to some small variation in their brain chemistry, William offered to assist the research in exchange for being granted the privileged life of an Alliance collaborator for being the cause of this discovery.

In order to prove his sincerity, William goads the overseers to go ahead and shoot Brad. Brad would only be narrowly saved by the intervention of a Vulcan named T’Lyn, a seeming fellow slave to Brad who was in fact an undercover operative for the resistance cell on Vulcan. She short-circuited the transporter remotely with a device she had implanted hours before, leaped into the room, and killed the slave overseers by vaporizing them with a phaser. She attempted to shoot William for being a collaborator, but he managed to grab a Disruptor and fire back, escaping the room. Intuiting that William had no real knowledge on how to recreate the transporter glitch, T’Lyn grabbed Brad and had him beamed to a secure location underground with her, where she explained herself and her mission. Though naturally taking some time to regain his bearings, Brad eventually accepted the situation, and asked to join the Rebellion.

Their higher calling of liberating Terrans, Vulcans, and other races enslaved by the Alliance gave Boimler the worthwhile pursuit he had been searching for all his life. Though the members of the rebel cell on Vulcan were skeptical at first, T’Lyn vouched for Boimler and he was accepted into their ranks, given the training he would need to carry out operations against the Alliance. Now skilled with a phaser, as well as various tactics of infiltration, Boimler became a freedom fighter in earnest, undermining the Alliance regime in conjunction with his allies and learning to overcome some of his own fears. Though Boimler never became one for hand-to-hand combat, he was still nonetheless an effective soldier, and T’Lyn taught him the Vulcan Nerve Pinch in order to make up for that shortcoming.

While fighting as a Rebel, Boimler became an avid follower of the exploits of Captain Beckett Mariner and the SS Cerritos, an outlaw famed for giving the Alliance a bloody nose on more than one occasion.

As the disparate rebel cells began to coalesce after Tuvok managed to get Miles O’Brien’s rebel cell on Terok Nor in contact with the rebels on Vulcan, Boimler personally volunteered for the mission to locate the Cerritos and extend an offer to Captain Mariner.

With T’Lyn offering to accompany him, the mission was approved and the two managed to get themselves onto the ship. Unfortunately, Mariner quickly began causing trouble in the system of their meeting right as they began attempting to make their proposal, forcing Boimler and T’Lyn to become members of her ship’s crew in order to assist in preserving the lives of everyone on board. Braving skirmishes with the Orion Syndicate, the Gorn, and Alliance warships far more powerful than the Cerritos, Boimler is still determined to convince Mariner to take part in the wider rebellion, regardless of the walls she puts up around herself. With time, he may succeed.

D’Vana Tendi

“Mistress of the Winter Constellations”, Tendi comes from a powerful family in the Orion Syndicate. She is the granddaughter of the previous holder of her title, Astrea Tendi, who famously stole an ancient artifact from Terran captain Christopher Pike in the 23rd century, among other accomplishments.

Growing up with immense pressure to fulfill her role as heir to family’s wealth an influence, Tendi chafed against these demands as well as the standards of Orion society as a whole, feeling that her people needlessly limited themselves by pouring their entire cultural resources into their vast criminal empire rather than allowing individuals to pursue other interests. Tendi herself developed a fascination with the sciences at a young age, and dreamt of a life of discovery, exploration, and adventure. These values closely matched that of the Federation Starfleet, but were seldom respected in the Orion Syndicate or elsewhere in the mirror universe. As she reluctantly carried out the family business alongside her sister D’Erika, Tendi would take exceptionally well to the training and various skills her family provided her.

She would also come to despise the Syndicate’s dealings with the Alliance. While the Orions were certainly exploiters, assassins, and thieves, careers Tendi had no taste for, they had long abandoned outright slavering, an act the Alliance almost seemed to specialize in. Though her family tried to explain to her that appeasing the Alliance was simply part of life due to their dominance over the Alpha Quadrant, this was the last straw and Tendi knew she had to leave this life behind.

She would find her escape in the form of outlaw captain Beckett Mariner, who docked her ship at a repair station owned by Tendi’s family after a battle with Alliance forces. Her scientific personal studies having led her to studying various technologies, including those of the fallen Terran Empire, Tendi took a personal interest in repairing the ship. Her skill at optimizing the outdated technology and even fusing it with some contemporary Orion equipment impressed Mariner, and she offered to find some way of repaying her personally. Tendi’s price was escape from the Orion Syndicate, who were already maneuvering to capture the Cerritos and its crew to collect a bounty from the Alliance. Using her inside knowledge to thwart the trap, Tendi quickly earned herself a spot as Second Officer of the Cerritos and the respect and trust of Mariner and the crew. Mariner reacted surprisingly positively to the death mark from the Syndicate, believing it advanced her reputation.

In gratitude for her invaluable contributions, Tendi was allowed the sway to suggest possible sites of scientific observation for the ship, pursuing her passion as much as she could without leaving the ship in one place for too long. This would remain more or less status quo until the arrival of resistance fighters T’Lyn and Boimler, who sought to recruit the Cerritos crew into the growing Rebellion. Tendi was sympathetic to them and was in favor of joining, but Mariner’s reluctance put that idea at the very least on pause. Nonetheless, Tendi has befriended the two Rebellion representatives and is hopeful that the races under Alliance rule can achieve the same freedom of choice she herself sought in breaking away from the Syndicate.

Samanthan Rutherford

Thrill-seeking, rambunctious, and only respectful of authority when it suited his own ends, Rutherford was practically born a rebel. Once he was old enough to be suitable for labor, he was stationed on an Alliance shipyard, where he immersed himself in the study of engines, general starship design, program design, and most especially, speed. Rutherford took in as much knowledge as he could, much impressing his overseers. He became one of the most productive slaves at the facility, refitting dozens of Alliance warships and making improvements to their overall performance. The overseers were so impressed with Rutherford that they failed to keep a close enough eye on him to realize two things: that every Alliance ship he worked on had been outfitted with a sabotage code designed to go off the moment said ship locked their weapons on any Terran life signs, and that Rutherford had been building his own personal ship using parts he gradually stole for himself while working the yard.

After seven months, the small ship was complete, and outfitted with one of the fastest and most compact warp drives in the Quadrant. One night, Rutherford took his ship, the Sampaguita, and made a rush for the Romulan Neutral Zone, which he knew the Alliance vessels wouldn’t pursue him into even if they caught up to him. Skillfully evading the Romulan detection grid, Rutherford took off for parts unknown and began his new life as a free man.

Engaging in illicit ship racing, gambling, and becoming a mercenary engineer, selling his skills at ship repair and enhancement to the highest bidder in the underworld of the Galaxy.

Eventually, another rogue would contact Rutherford: Captain Beckett Mariner, in need of his services to repair the SS Cerritos after another round of damages suffered antagonizing the Alliance. Rutherford would impress the crew, particularly Mariner’s technically skilled Second Officer D’Vana Tendi, with his repairs, optimizing the ship’s systems, further bringing them up to spec with modern technology despite the Cerritos’s century-old Terran frame, and enhancing the capabilities of its shield and warp drive.

Tendi suggested hiring Rutherford onto the crew due to his capabilities, but Mariner was reluctant to give herself the responsibility for another life, and respected Rutherford’s free-spirited nature too much to attempt to pin him down. Ultimately however, Rutherford would be forced to join the crew after Alliance agents caught up with him, seeking to interrogate Rutherford to determine the extent his sabotage work as a slave engineer had affected their fleet.

In the fight ensued, Rutherford docked the Sampaguita, damaged from battle, in the Cerritos’s shuttle bay, before the ship managed to take out two Alliance warships and escape into Ferengi space, where trade agreements forbid pursuit. From then on, Rutherford accepted the position of Chief Engineer aboard the Cerritos, and took part in much of the ship’s troublemaking misadventures from then on.

Due to their respective natures, Rutherford and Mariner would often butt heads and argue, forcing Tendi to be a peacemaker between them. Fortunately, their underlying respect for one another led them to always eventually see reason. Though he hated the Alliance, Rutherford was among the crewmembers skeptical of joining the Terran Rebellion. However upon suffering a nearly fatal injury and being given a cybernetic implant which saved him by Vulcan surgeons, Rutherford would find in his gratitude that he could do nothing less than give his commitment to the cause.

T’Lyn

Born into slavery on Qo’Nos, T’Lyn was the daughter of two house servants owned by a Klingon regent. Her parents raised her in the Vulcan way, as allowed by the Alliance because of the belief that Vulcan logic produced more disciplined servants. However, the strong emotions of the Klingons around her did leave an impression.

When T’Lyn was in her mid teens, her master took her and her family on a trip to Vulcan to meet with a Cardassian gul to whom he was a political ally.

The two were scheming the elimination of a rival and their plan involved the implementation of explosive devices inside the bodies of T’Lyn’s parents to hide their bombs in plain. T’Lyn was horrified and objected, but was knocked unconscious and unable to prevent the procedure. She was kept alive because her master needed a house servant, but he threatened to kill her if she spoke up again.

The two powerful men organized a meeting with their rival and offered him T’Lyn’s parents as a supposed sign of goodwill.

Before things could go further, the meeting was attacked by the Vulcan Resistance, who were seeking to take out high ranking Alliance officials while they were gathered in one place.

During the chaos, T’Lyn managed to grab a Disruptor from a dead Klingon guard and joined forces with the rebels in order to save her parents and achieve freedom. Unfortunately, the explosive devices embedded in them were activated, and T’Lyn was forced to watch her parents die.

After that, she made sure that every Alliance member at the meeting was killed with quick and savant-like marksmanship. She had learned a fair amount just from observation in all these years. Were she not Vulcan, the display might appear as rage. Once the battle was over, she was counseled by the leader of the rebel attack, Sokel. He suggested that it would be logical to channel her feelings towards the liberation of the oppressed throughout the Alpha and Beta Quadrants.

T’Lyn accepted and began training in various aspects of combat, infiltration, espionage, and assassination by the Vulcan underground. She would also be trained in various forms of Vulcan meditation to assist in coping with her trauma, though she remained with an underlying passion that fueled her as a fighter. She became an efficient and deadly fighter, but also a compassionate field medic and liberator, doing her best to free Alliance slaves and help their own recoveries as best she could.

Eventually however, T’Lyn would suffer another loss when Sokel was killed in a skirmish with Alliance forces, driving her into a depression for a number of weeks.

After finding it in herself to begin actively fighting again, T’Lyn succeeded in the liberation of Brad Boimler from an Alliance facility, preventing the Alliance from exploiting transporter duplicates as a source of labor. She assisted in his training and eventually accompanied him to the raider ship SS Cerritos in order to recruit Captain Mariner into the growing Rebellion. T’Lyn’s patience has proven to be her most valuable asset in this endeavor.

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zooterchet · 2 years ago

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Master Chief Running Rampant (Killing Frenzy)

1987: Fall of the Berlin Wall, Rabbinical bet rigging to produce prostitutes from athletes’ wives, INTERPOL, farting horses; funded by Polish-Jews, pork investment, out of mill lumber, Gentile slaves.

1991: Bim Skala Bim shut down, child prodigy schools for Jews, listening to 1980s ska or hardcore.

1991: Ryan Taylor, is placed as recovery of SDF agent, Jerry Robinson’s grandson, on the MBTA, cooperating on contract lift, “Rungo Jennerson”, “47”, SDF mercenary. The hit on the Space Needle, the last Faraday Shield against aliens, the West Coast, not hit by Scientology, traded for the Pentagon, at Logan International Airport.

1992: Education through film and TV, Hitler’s Goebbels system, labeled as “limbergh cheese”, a German soldier, a sped, through paleontology book report; the rise of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

1994: Pillow biter no longer gay, biting a hot dominatrix’s butt, if she doesn’t want you all tied up; future political careers of economists (and female accountants, for politics; Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, AOC).

1995: Pat Stanley, freed from dairy slavery, from older brother, corrupt NSA agent, Andrew Stanley; “Rock Superstar”, by Cypress Hill, printed, the future of the American-Jewry; Fidel Castro.

1996: The 9/11 conspiracy revealed, through “Morph”, Matt Lennox, Keanu Reeves prevents plane number 11. “nil”, Dave Charlebois, assists.

1996: Will Morgan Jr., descent of Jefferson Davis, through mother, “Lou”, recruited for FBI, to redeem family legacy, of Adolf Hitler; for the Mossad, their unit formed by Hitler, to come for G-d; “Egads”, and Velma, his future wife; “Jinxy”. Superman.

1997: The downfall of EMC’s production forensics, of children, the rise of Stalin, in computing, contact with Ireland.

1997: The reveal of Michael “Thresh” Nguyen as a Quake cheat, in common tournament; reform of online sports, to favor honest players, the corruption of the video game industry ended. Bowser wins, the Madison family, the future rise of anti-conscription laws, when challenged.

1999: The death of Alice Charlebois, the investigation into slave compounds for spies, run by Mossad, Russian agents; the beginning of the Insane Clown Posse, through the Voodoo Wizard, Christophe Stevens, the stolen toy set; “you lost this”.

2001: The firing of Alan Quimp, alias “Michael Fleming”, head of the Hopkinton history department; Rambo, First Blood, to avenge Woody Harrelson Sr., trapped by Cuban state police, “aliens”.

2001: Stopping six planes, on 9/11, through Mickey “Mouser” Blitzen’s descent, Adam Palmer, mixed with the Man Show’s “The Fox”, Erwin Rommel.

2001: The placement of Bellicheck, as the head coach of the Patriots, not the Vikings, to sabotage the Yakuza, the police automotive federation, not the actor’s guilds, the British cops protecting Jews from anti-Semites, by frame of Jew Hunter if hunting police; a slave’s draft, into the United States Marine Corps, if an anti-Semite, a poisoner.

2002: The George Soros election campaign, “Team Sauerkraut”, Barack Obama’s model for the Presidency. Hopkinton High.

2003: The murder of Carlin Sarkesian, Napster/RIAA/Metallica/Mustaine agent, through Putin, the assertion of Citizen’s Rights, the end to the 3/5ths Compromise, the slavery on auction of the poor if favored by man changing name, the Canadian Jewry, INTERPOL. Chris Hansen is fired, and joins the Freemasonic Temple, for George W. Bush, the O’Neill traitor to the Morningstars.

2003: The refusal of Boston police, to control Cuban marijuana, the blockage of soil composites, to grow poisonous pot for Cubans, for the exchange of alcohol necessary, the contract for Governor Dukakis, head chair of Chas T. Main, through acting Sergeant, George W. Bush. The end of Bush, Huckabee, Kerry, McCain, Obama, Charles, Andrew, Edward; freedom for Brazilians, against Israeli preferential buying, of the hands of Hispanic kids burned and torn, in exchange for cocaine, produced by kids with faces burned from nitric acid, sold as slaves to produce cocaine, stomping it in barrels, instead of ceramic ablate, for gloves, sold as tank heat sinks, for a modicum of price, Israeli domination of the Middle East; Swedes, not proper Jews; Mizrahi, Aryans, Palestinians, Latinos.

2004: The downfall of the CIA Mounted, the Governor’s Association; the domination of marijuana, to control the Western Hemisphere’s politicians, for political associations, the Masonic Lodge, the police associations, the Ignatians; the police associations.

2004: The theft of the Israeli Irish riddle, to control “Germans”, Irish without wedlock, given to the FBI, through Freedom of Information Act, through Janine Swanson, “MK”, with self as “ULTRA” operative, domestic intelligence, to retaliate against Israeli film portraying marital testaments, improper spy tactics, homosexual behavior, and pro-sectarian politics, to retarded, Jews, blacks, and gays.

2004: The Van Meter riots, in Southwest dormitory, against French External Security, for rigging poker; the Boston Red Sox pennant, discharging James “Whitey” Bulger from Boston politics, freeing the Irish from the Talmud.

2005: The beginning of the Gotham project, upon successful print of the Nolan series; jobs for COIN, instead of free pay, the rogue FBI DC Comics project, now owned by Time Warner Cable, to prevent another al-Qaeda.

2005: The sabotage, of the New England Patriots, for the Giants Superbowl, for US Navy money, to hunt extraterrestrials, with sonic torpedoes, from the Nixons, the Pratts.

2005: The printing of the Afghan peace paper, for Robert Sullivan, with Arabic banned for Afghan women, so they can be psychologists, not dominatrixes, dog trainer lesbians, for Afghanistan to be a cafeteria, under future President Barack Obama’s vision, for the Northern Alliance, the Afghans, to replace the Taliban, the Indians of writer’s homosexual pederasty, to replace Afghan invaders.

2006: The murder, of several civil rights activists, abusing work wage laws, to guarantee employment, through producing “fraus” and “overmen”, drunk mothers, and drunk children by birth, through Hopkinton PD, the reform of labor laws given factory patronage through police.

2007: The informed tip, on John Washburne, Marvel research writer, enslaving Israeli pilgrims, to be prison inmates, in Jim Shooter’s tradition, for the Disney buyout, set up in 2004, simultaneous to the popularity of Mackelmore’s “Thrift Shop”, bassline from 2004 used for trumpet, from Erika, through Van Meter resident Ryan Lewis, Van Meter 251, living across the hall from Van Meter 252, spring of 2004.

2008: The election of Barack Obama, through McCain revealing himself as KGB, a labor slave trade, a Rabbi, mimicking Barack Obama, but Muslim, whereas Barack is a Protestant Catholic, a Mafiaso, a counter-Israeli, with Soros, a Yakuza banker.

2009: The beginning of the downfall of Likud, through five advisors, the Bond films, with Bond as each, facing themselves, the enemy, until Hillary Clinton’s downfall, upon orders of Benjamin Netanyahu, paymaster for EON Israel, for Yaphina’s takeover

2010: The report on Dr. Joshua Golden, and the MI-6 Child Study Committee, as having fraudulent degrees, to the Boston FBI field office, through e-mail circuit, special agents appointed without name or cloak, to investigate Boston state police, for using “edutainment” for officers, incompetent police using Saudi movies and European medicine, considered ant-American, communist (insurance industry or police tactics).

2012: The election of Barack Obama a second time, refusing Romney’s reforms of Obama Care, the refusal of police officers of commitment power of prison, through the film, “Idiocracy”, any non-police agents refused care as inmates, allowed open movement, defeat of Masonic Lodge of Germany (Hamburg RIN, Berlin, claiming Irish sovereignity, full blown war against Lutherans in Ireland, by Irish Sinn Fein, IRA, and Belfast English Marines).

2013: Investigation of Clubhouse program, seeded years earlier, as implicit fraud, through Boston journalists; shut down of View Askew Productions, as Italian Mafia, Jewish and Protestant Catholics, the prohibition of marijuana on Jewish orders, anti-Catholic.

2016: The legalization of recreational marijuana, in many states, and the election of Donald Trump, hypnotized by Donal Logue’s performance of Bullock, for being a cop broker of property, into lesbian women (women that change their hair style, in the middle of a relationship); fascists, now owned by the US military, out of the SDF.

2020: The print of Cyberpunk 2077, the end of marital rape by state police, the submission of bodybuilders to homosexual moralities, the refusal of women if ‘shredding’, ‘jacked’, or ‘ripped’, an incompetent soldier; an anorexic prison bitch, a punk scumclown.

George Soros: Bennie's Autoparts, a most profitable youth investment. Andrew Shuck finds Mass Bay, fascinating.

Glenn Beck: The eyes have it. More medication is required, Mister Beck, from your partners in the German Lutheran Irish.

Bill O'Reilly: Eric Siebert, Massachusetts State Police, finds the FRU investments in Motley Fool, far too predictable. When O'Reilly wins, John Hancock loses.

Mike Huckabee: Fair play for Cuba? The Masonic Lodge and Boston Police, think otherwise. But Castro, thinks for himself.

George W. Bush: Four years to sell narcotics, for Chas T. Main? The FBI disagrees, and they sell LSD. Four more years, for Dave's contract payment. Sedated, by Dick Cheney. Just make Loose Change, about France. Dick Cheney has friends in high places - cemeteries.

John Kerry: A wooden hand eh? Let me help you out. The Nation of Islam, always supports Malcolm X. But what if he's Daniel Vinyard, on nutmeg.

John McCain: Mackelmore. Erika, from the Kaiser's Lodge, has never sounded better.

Barack Obama: Will Morgan loves black women. Jerry Seinfeld loves cigarettes. It's a show about nothing, and that's how you write a paper, a speech, or a pose on a porno server for honors kids that don't like speds. Hey, it's prison.

Hillary Clinton: Boboli Pizza, is how you shoot a Holocaust execution, with Ralph Fiennes (or her cousin, Sonya Savdie). Amon Goeth, switched a substitute, with a teacher. Jethro Tull, on bass, is the same as Madonna Wayne Gacy, on guitar. The Beautiful People. The Horrible People. And Running With the Devil, on a drum pedal.

Mitt Romney: You invented RomneyCare, eh? Thanks for letting me out of prison. Batman, has never been so green. That's COIN, for Time Warner Cable. Now we get paid, bitches. And George Lucas, gets to sell LucasArts, for money. Not a carved up hooker. Sorry, Fitchburg State College. I'm a top. That means, my father speaks for me. Not God, a joint.

Donald J. Trump: Team Sauerkraut, is Ivan Tomasic's strategy. So says, Dr. Crane. Remember that time I killed Heath Ledger? So do the aliens, and French ExSec, the hypnotizer men. Capuchins, immune again. "God is your sense of community".

Joe Biden: Abra-Hedro, isn't just a syndicate. It's the Amherst College chancellor's international racket ethics program. And Lucky Luciano, doesn't go to the dump; he didn't rape a Chinese woman, drunk, he just got drunk with one. The rules are the rules, Queen Elizabeth II. The first step, is admitting you're an alcoholic. Then you drink at home.

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