#queue may still run depending on if i put more shit in there
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hollis-exe · 1 year ago
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im going 2 tha desert for 5 days....... wish me luck
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applin-bottom-jeans · 11 months ago
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trying to reorganize my life for new years
through the power of agile brainrot i'm doing a new thing for time tracking and i kind of want to share it here (especially since i don't have a real update for pigeon-splice like i wanted)
so last year i tried to figure out organizational methods for the stuff i had in my life because my current system - writing down weekly todos and then breaking those into daily tasks - wasn't really working, both in the short term (large tasks that need to be done during the day get kicked, forever) and long term (no tracking for long term projects with deadlines)
but then two things happened
i read up on agile stuff
i got put on a better release type of my meds and holy shit i am less wiaefrjueiwahjfdeioswAFHeouihf (and then got put back on the old version because of a miscommunication between docs and then put back on the new version, more on that later)
I'm not a big fan of kanban because i feel like in card form seeing all of the cards you have in your queue gets extremely overwhelming, especially if you dont have a good way of organizing them by tag (so really, i just hate trello).
but scrum. im in a deep love-hate relationship with scrum. Here's my understanding of scrum, which may not be entirely accurate, with commentary -
Sprint - a length of time where work is measured, usually 2 weeks - no comment, perfect length of time, love that
scrum points - how much work you think a task will take, which will help determine the amount of work you have planned for a sprint - this can get ambiguous depending on the work you do. What happens if something goes wrong? What happens if you need more information and need more time? I understand that there are many tasks that you can learn to estimate well, but at what point is a bad estimation due to your performance or outside factors?
burndown chart - how many scrum points you estimated vs how many you've actually done - this helps with the issue with points and i think its good in theory but also i really don't want a chart of how poorly im doing thats easily accessible by someone higher up in the food chain who might want to decide who to lay off
Sprint planning - a meeting where you plan what will be in a sprint - great. no commentary.
standup - a meeting with your team every day to discuss what you're working on - introspection is good but why do i have to tell my entire team this information every single day. i have an anxiety disorder
sprint review - discussing how the sprint went and how much you got done - good, great
sprint retrospective - basically the same as the review but with vibes - not sure why this is a different meeting but ok
Basically i like the idea of scrum and i really like the philosophy of its work tracking but i feel like the implementation of it in a team turns it into glorified micromanagement. But this is for personal use? Seems good, lets try it out
This still doesn't really help solve the long term project problem but for that i organized the year into financial quarters, like a completely normal person.
So for every quarter this year, i'm planning on having a set of quarter wide goals (duration measured in a month or more), a sprint level goal (duration of days - weekish), and a daily goal (should be as simple as possible).
My general goals for the year is get better at art to the point where i'm finally happy with it, get through all the craft supplies i've accumulated through the years, do big stupid projects, and get healthier i guess. This quarter I'm working on a big BD2 project, a couple of sweaters, a few art challenges, and cleaning my apartment. In the end, my breakdown for this looks like this:
Q1:
Quarter-wide
* BD2 Project
* Two sweaters
* 3 art challenges
* Deep Clean apartment
* Ramp up back to exercising regularly
* Get 6 pages into the pokemon cross stitch project
* Get 2 haircuts (usually i get 1.5 every 3 months...)
Every sprint
* Run 4 times
* Make 1 good painting
* Make 1 practice painting (Q1 emphasis on portraits)
* Make 1 jewelry set (necklace, or earrings, or whatever)
* Buy food
* Clean out previously cleaned parts of the apartment
Every day
* Draw a bird (practice painting)
For this sprint I'm about to start, Bidoof (I named my sprints after dinky pokemon), I have the following specific goals which may intersect with the list above:
Ooblets Painting
Carpenters Close To You Practice Painting
Ahmed Aldoori's 100 head challenge
Clear out my closets
Make a fish pendant and lil anchor earrings
Page 2 of the pokemon cross stitch
Make squares for the current sweater i'm making
"Wtf is LSDJ" and beg people to listen to what i come up with
Get the music plan into LSDJ
And for any tasks that I didn't finish, they either
get kicked to the next sprint, in this case Carbink
get obliterated to hell
so i have the flexibility sometimes to push things off if they're not working out. i have already kicked out a lot of the LSDJ stuff because last week i had to go back on my old meds so i had to transition to old antidepressants and then transition back again to the new antipressants and my brain didn't like that. but its fine, we're fine. help
I then have a todo list i make for the day in the morning and i try to grab whatever i can from the goals list.
and yeah. i hope this helps getting my stuff together for this year. i already feel more on top of things but that might just be the antidepressants so
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plaidshirtjimkirk · 3 years ago
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sigh. as i mentioned several times now, i really hate making personal posts because they never contain anything good anymore. please understand that i’m not looking for attention or think i carry any kind of importance as a person or in the fandom, but i just wanted to explain where i’ve been to the people i’ve been friends with for so long on this website.
every time i try to get back into maintaining my blogs or trying to serve a purpose here, something happens to kick me down once more. that’s why i’ve gone silent yet again...and the reason the oms challenge didn’t get off the ground this year. i feel really bad about it. it was entirely my intention to set everything up like i always have done.
i talked about my mom being sick in the past. over the last months, things got progressively worse and i lost her this month. the short story is that along with my dad, i’ve been taking care of her since her diagnosis and this loss is genuinely the worst emotional pain i’ve ever been through. around the same time, my dog was diagnosed with cancer and just had surgery on her leg. she’s an older girl so recovery has been rough but she’s getting through it. sadly, after the biopsy, they said they couldn’t get all the cancerous growths so things are kind of in the air for what the road will be like going forward.
i believe i mentioned at some point that i had a fourth abdominal surgery earlier in the year (fuck you, endo. but all those useless organs are gone so that’s a plus). it’s been a difficult time and everything’s just piled on. over the last years, i’ve been struggling a lot with mental health and strangely, fandom became this deep source of anxiety for me. my brain convinced me that everything i’ve ever written was complete shit and i was in this constant flux of wanting to delete all my work vs feeling a responsibility to keep it available because people were kind enough to appreciate it. this is all on me. yall have been wonderful to me for reasons i really don’t understand and it’s nothing to do with a bad fandom experience or anything. it’s just me.
i don’t know. the last years have just been extremely hard but i have no choice but to keep on keeping on, so i will. im lucky to have a great support system so i’ll be okay. it’s just going through the motions, you know? it sucks.
again, i’m sorry for dropping the ball with the challenge. i’ve already been thinking to ask for help with it the last two years but didn’t really know how to ask. if anyone is still interested in doing it in the future, i’ll put out a post asking for co-mods. that’s an issue for a later date though, but if you’re interested, please keep it in mind.
i may fill up my queue randomly. sometimes, it might run out and my blog might look abandoned. it depends on how i feel, but again i just wanted to put out a post explaining everything to anyone who might have wondered where i disappeared to.
thank you for reading this and again, i’m really not looking for sympathy or attention or replies or anything. im trying to alleviate some guilt from just ghosting.
in any case, stay safe and well, yall. <3 much love.
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seijurosempress · 4 years ago
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@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)
First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]
Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi
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Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list
Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to
Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship
Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.
You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them
If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 
Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head
You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too
Scenario: 
Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.
I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 
His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.
The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?
He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.
Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨
Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?
He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room
it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)
I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again
Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours
You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”
You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another
You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team
You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing
On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 
At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending
Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship
You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 
Bonus: Takao Kazunari
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You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)
You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this
Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him
The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red
After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction
Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse
When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter
Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse
He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies
If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things
You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.
While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you
Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight
The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together
I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her
Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work
Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say
While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards
Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.
Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two
Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 
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Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner
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rpbetter · 4 years ago
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Hey there, check out this pinned post first!
Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.
This blog and its posts are meant for an adult RPing audience; be over legal, adult age in the USA, 18+. Do not interact by submitting, asking, reblogging, commenting, or liking unless you are over eighteen years of age. By interacting with RPB or me, Vespertine, you are assumed to be following this rule. If you are breaking this rule, you will be blocked.
I have that rule because this blog can/will/does address topics inappropriate for a younger audience. Those can include, but are not limited to:
not safe for work - violence, injury, sexual language, smut, substance use
“dark topics” and themes like violence, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, trauma, graphic injury, dubious consent, substance use, and so forth addressed realistically
foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language
 unpopular opinions and approaches about writing, RP, fandoms
“negativity” since literally anything can be, and my whole point here isn’t about holding back; it is likely that, at some point, in some post or another, a shoe will fit you-you need to be mature enough to handle that without taking it as a personal attack on you
images and links that may contain things inappropriate for a younger audience
this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no
seriously, you have no idea how fucking salty I am! I try to be fair, reasonable, and mellow with everyone, but it can and does come out.
This blog tags for common, major triggers, but it is not for those easily triggered or particularly sensitive. By proceeding, you take responsibility for yourself...like a mature adult. I expect you to utilize blacklist, unfollow, and block. Tag format is simple, it is literally just the word in most cases, with “cw” and “tw” added to particularly common things. Example, a post containing a breakdown of forms of dubcon will be tagged #dubcon #dubious consent. If that was specifically of a sexual nature, since tumblr is unfriendly to using Not Safe For Work now, I will be using #notsafe for sexual topics. In the event that this needs to change, it will be posted about, the previous tag left intact, so that you may update your blacklist.
You are always welcome to send me an ask or private message requesting a particular trigger be tagged for you. I try to check blogs I see following, especially if I follow back, so that I can tag what you require. However, I’m a person, I’m an ND, ill, busy person though, I do make mistakes!
If you find yourself desirous of telling me to tag in a hateful way, don’t. You will not be responded to with an apology and kindness. Do not be rude, it’s uncalled for when informing someone of a problem or making a request.
I will run the blog largely on a queue, and will not be following many people back. This is not personal! I just like to try to provide content at many different times, have a life elsewhere, and I am so happy that you love your fandom, but it might not be something I’ve enough interest in to have on my dash.
Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.
Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.
Aggressive inbox messages will be responded to in kind. I don’t care if you are on anon or not, if you haven’t an ounce of polite communication skills, I won’t have them either. This is not a “we don’t publish anon hate” blog.
I highly encourage asks and submissions on any and all RP topics, and it’s perfectly alright to be salty as fuck in them, you can totally vent here, but don’t take out your frustration on me or be demanding of me. I am always happy to help with information, advice, or just a response to your venting-it’s important to know someone is listening. However, it may take me a few days to a week to get to you, be patient. 
If you are going to vent, leave out usernames. This isn’t a callout or burnbook blog. It’s fine to state characters and fandoms, but if this becomes a problem, it’ll have to change. I don’t want this becoming a salt blog for one or two fandoms I very likely can’t even stand. Practice the fine art of alluding to things, its good experience for your writing! Besides, RPC problems are RPC problems, I promise. It might feel like it’s just your fandom, but there is something relatable in all corners.
I will not overly police comments. Keep the slurs and shit out of it, though. If there is an issue going on pertaining to a serious instance of hate speech, or behavior I, personally, deem as too inappropriate and/or immature to be taking place on my post, I will step in. Otherwise, I expect everyone to be adults in the comments and reblogs too. If you want to argue with each other, that’s your business. If you want to argue with me, I’m not sorry in advance.
Addition to the above: this is not a blog in which it will be tolerated that commentators or those submitting with the URLS are targeted for callouts, shaming, or other instances of bullying. No, I cannot make those people stop bothering you by blocking them, but the least I can do is address that by shutting down their access to this blog and it’s posts by blocking on the URLs I have for them. And I will. Fuck that “we can’t be responsible for” shit. It’s my blog, it’s my content I’m putting out there, I’m not going to just ignore shit like what went down over on COAR, thanks. Not. Cool.
This is definitely not a place for:
people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development
those with no reading comprehension skills
folks dependent upon aesthetics and aesthetics-based purple prose as filler for actual writing
anti-original character/just wants to fuck a FC or canon character club, get the fuck out immediately
y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby
politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil
people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.
About Vespertine
You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.
I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.
Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.
Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.
I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.
Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!
Honesty and openness are policies.
And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!
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writing-with-olive · 4 years ago
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Expanding your reach
There’s been a lot of talk in writeblr recently (and for a while now) about the importance of interacting with other people’s posts beyond just dropping a like and keep scrolling, and while that is important for helping creators grow their reach, there are actually a few things you can do yourself that can also help. 
*note: this is in no way meant to replace the conversation about interacting with others, nor is it meant to blame creators for not having reach because that sentiment is toxic and unproductive. Rather, it’s tips creators can choose to impliment or not in addition to the ask that people do more to interact.
Anyyywaayyy...
1) Tag your shit 
Tumblr’s search algorithm works pretty much exclusively on tags (it’ll sometimes put things on your dash based on people you follow, but don’t rely on that). Basically, the more tags you put, the easier it is for people to stumble across.
The first five tags on your post will be the ones that will make your post show up in tags people follow (for example, if someone follows #writing advice and that tag is in your first five, it will show up in that person’s tracked tags). A general rule of thumb is to put popular tags in your first five. For writing, those might be (#writing, #writeblr, #spilled ink, #writing humor, #writing advice, etc). Which tags you choose will depend on the content of your post.
The first twenty tags (including the first five described above) will show up when you put something into the search bar. When it comes to these, do not hold back. The more tags you put, the more likely it is for someone to see it. Key think: make sure tags are relevant to your post. If you tag a post that’s an advice post about worldbuilding and tag it #writing memes, you’re not going to gain a lot of traction based off the tag because people will search that looking for -- you guessed it -- Writing memes! 
All tags on your post will show up in the blog navigation search bar, so if you have specific tags for say, original posts or something, the place to put that is often after your original twenty tags if you have a lot.
Another important thing: tags on reblogs don’t show up EXCEPT within a specific person’s blog! This is to keep popular duplicates from showing up in the main search engine but it also means that if you don’t have any tags on your post, the only way it’s going to get passed around is through reblogs and we’ve all heard how that’s going.
(more tips below the break)
2) Reblog your own stuff
This is one that helped me a lot when I was getting started, though now I don’t do it as often. BUT it is seriously 100% okay to reblog your own stuff. Like with tagging, it helps with visibility, as it pulls it to the top of your dash, and it slaps it on all of your follower’s dashboards.
Similarly, if there’s a post you’re especially proud of, don’t be afraid to pin it (click on the three little dots in the top corner to get a dropdown with the option to pin your post). This won’t necessarily make it easier to stumble across, but it will be the first thing visitors to your blog will see.
3) Be consistant (depending on what style blog you run and its purpose, this one can be optional)
This is more aimed at increasing follower count than reblog count, but more followers usually means increased chance of reblogs, at least in some capacity.
People are frequently drawn to blogs because they are drawn to the content. People also frequently don’t reblog things they don’t like. Basically consistancy will help with visibility because people are more likely to engage in content they signed up for. 
Personally, I have also found that having a regular posting schedule/clear hiaitus posts to be helpful as well so that people don’t assume you’re a dead blog. Your posting schedule, should you choose to impliment it, can be whatever you want (schedule post/queue makes it fairly easy to post on time), though I would recommend putting the schedule in your bio or somewhere where people can see that you have a posting schedule. With hiaitus, what I do that works for me is make a post saying I’m going on hiaitus for at least X time and that I will update on X date. I also put in the tags what date I posted it. This can help assure your audience that you’re not a dead blog, while still being able to take time away for yourself because PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!
4) Interact with others and be a part of the community
Two reasons for this: a) you can’t expect others to interact with you if you don’t interact with them. b) the more you interact, the more likely it is for them to see you and possibly check out your blog.
Some ways to interact: 
Comment
Reblog
Take part in tag games (no one’s going to get mad if you jump in without actually being tagged - go for it!)
Send people asks and take part in ask games 
Ask to be put on taglists
If you’re posting content that involves taglists, let people know that they can join if they want - (they’ll get regular updates when you post, so they’re more likely to see your stuff)
5) Make your blog a nice place to be
I’m not talking about the aesthetic so much (though do what you think looks good), as I am talking about how you conduct yourself when you’re on your blog. 
Some good things to do are:
Being friendly and respectful
Giving people the benifit of the doubt
Avoiding snarky responses or answers (sarcasm is okay, as long is it’s clear that it’s lighthearted and not intended to be hurtful or mean)
Avoiding posting or spreading offensive, harmful, or dehumanizing content
Avoiding pointless or toxic drama
Basically, once people associate you as not a nice person, or not someone they want to interact with, they won’t interact with you (except sometimes to antagonize), and you are probably never going to win them back. So if you have to take out your frustration, do it away from your blog, and preferably somewhere that isn’t public because a) no one likes that, and b) it will never make you look good.
But say you do mess up - you realize you’ve hurt somebody without meaning to, or you’ve done something that just wasn’t okay. Then what?
Apologize. If you’re realizing what you did on your own, make a post explaining
that you’re sorry for what you did
you understand why it’s hurtful (explain the why)
what your intentions were (if that’s relevant, sometimes it’s not)
that you recognize that your intentions and what happened did not match
if there is something to do to fix what was done beyond apologizing, explain what you will do.
If someone else called you out on it, do the same thing as you did above, and also remember not to get super defensive. If you believe you were not in the wrong, do a bit of research before responding - you may have crossed a line you didn’t know existed. If you do that research and you still believe that they’re wrong, do not attack them, and PLEASE be civil with your response. Otherwise you’re going to get swept up into petty drama with a lot of big feelings involved and that never ends well.
Remember - apologies are not meant to be ways to get attention, and you should not do the whole “wo is me” gig - it undermines the whole point. Instead, it’s about recognising that you messed up, and doing what you can to make repairs. 
6) Celebrate your wins
Maybe one of your posts did really well, or you get to a certain follower count - don’t be afraid to celebrate!
This can be something like a post saying “I just reached x-milestone, I’m so excited!”
Or you can do something special. For example, when I got to a follower milestone, I did a bonus post every day for the week.
Remember that it’s not about “we have to get to x-milestone in order to do the thing,” but it’s “hey we did the think that’s awesome!”
I know this post got long, so I appreciate that you’ve stuck with me this far - I hope you have a wonderful day :)
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nightwingshero · 5 years ago
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Hold Me Down Chapter Three
Here’s that stuff. It’s a long one, which is shocking. I’ve been doing a lot of writing recently, but I tried to get this done before I focused solely on my commission queue. I figured a nice, long chapter would be good to put out for Wren content. @dieguzguz @ja-crispea y’all can laugh at Jacob now, lovelies!
I didn’t fidget often. Not anymore, at least. Those kinds of things were drilled out of you immediately. Maybe that should have been my first red flag, the way that he broke down every little tick that made you human and unique. But I suppose that would have been a needle in a haystack, and what 12-year-old kid looks for those kinds of things when someone saves them from the system? None of them.
But here I was, bouncing my leg as I sat in the chair, my table by the front window, giving me the perfect view of the people going about their day. I envied them, so wrapped up in their own little worlds. What I wouldn’t give to unfuck my life. Wishful thinking got me nowhere, though.
As much as I would have loved to allow myself to disassociate, I had too much on my plate that needed to be handled. And just being in this fucking restaurant was risky. I couldn’t help my mind wander to Rowan. All these years…I sighed, throwing a glance around the room. She didn’t recognize me, but what had I expected? There was at least eight years between us. She was someone that I could look up to, someone I was close to until she left. Someone I aspired to be as Dutch put her on that pedestal. At the end, it was all just bullshit.
Giving a look around, the place seemed dead, but I had to keep in mind that I was in the door the second the damn place opened. I didn’t care much for the old rustic country style, to be honest. It wasn’t my style, but god did it resonate the same aesthetic of its owner. I could never say a word against that. I furrowed my brow a bit as I caught sight of one of the other customers here. The man was sitting in the middle of the room at one of the two-chaired tables facing the window. If I had been on a job, I would’ve chosen the same seat, it was perfect. You could see what was going on outside while keeping an eye on the entrance, and it was deep enough in the room so he could easily check the exits and the coming and going of the employees.
I eyed his clothes, trying hard not to scoff. If I had to label him, it would be hipster mountain main with the big dark beard and flannel. Slowly, I grab my cloth napkin, quickly hiding a knife under it as I placed it across my lap. Was I paranoid? Probably. But after thing that had happened, I wasn’t about to take a chance. Not by a long-shot.
I turn at the sound of the bowl being set down in front of me and I wrinkled my nose. “What the hell is that?” I asked, glancing up at the blonde.
Mary May sighed heavily, placing a hand on her hip with a shrug. “Casey is experimenting, trying new things.”
“You sure he isn’t trying to poison me instead?” I looked wearily at the dish as I poked around with my spoon.
“It’s greasy and unhealthy. He said it would do you some good and that he’d cover it.” She wiped her hands on the white apron wrapped around her bright blue flannel. Was that a fashion thing I had missed out on? “Says that you’re his favorite, so gotta treat you special every now and then.”
I threw her look. “He saw my face. That’s what you’re saying.”
Mary May gave me a sheepish look. “You do look pretty rough, Wren.”
She wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, so there were dark marks under my eyes, but that was nothing compared to the massive bruise on the side of my face with the split lip. The back of my head was still rather tender from being knocked out and if I wasn’t so adamant about getting out of here, I would definitely be planning my revenge. I don’t normally leave a score unsettled, but things were heating up way too quickly. “Yeah, your locals here are super friendly and welcoming, by the way.”
Mary May pulled out the chair across from me, sitting down as she leaned against the wall, resting her arm over the back of the chair. “Someone I know?”
“Depends. Have you heard of the Drubmans?” I asked, taking a bite. I chewed a bit, discovering it to be some sort of stew that I couldn’t pin down. I made a face at the unexpected heat to it, eyes watering as I tried to swallow and clear my throat. “Holy shit.” I gasped out.
“The Drubmans? Like, I-will-sell-you-this-boat Drumbans?”
I looked up at her exasperated expression and pursed my lips. “You couldn’t have fucking warned me—”
“I’m sorry, I took you for someone who knew not to do something stupid.”
“Stupid--? I’m not from here, Fairgrave! You and Sharky—”
I was caught off by the sound of the front doorbell, a young brunette rushing in. His brown eyes landed on me with a smile and wave, before his brows furrowed at my appearance. “Hey, Wren. What happened to your face?” he asked, walking closer to the table as Mary May gave him a stern look. “You look like shit.”
“And you’re late.” Fairgrave taunted, but he just rolled his eyes.
“Good to see you too, Xander.” I muttered, taking another bite, forgetting momentarily what I was eating. I made another face as he laughed.
“Ah, yeah. Casey is playing around with the Brunswick stew. Has a kick to it, doesn’t it?”
“Can I have a cheeseburger, for fuck’s sake?” I wheezed before taking a drink of water. Xander nodded, grabbing the bowl and tugging at my ponytail playfully before walking away. Mary May sighed, leaning forward and resting her elbows against the table as she watched him go. I frowned. “Everything okay?”
“Xander has been coming in late more and more. His head is always somewhere else.” She threw me a rueful smirk. “Apparently he’s been seeing a little blonde thing on the side. Married, too.”
I scoffed, leaning back as I placed the napkin and knife back on the table. I threw the man another glance to see him playing on his phone as he continued with his lobster mac ‘n’ cheese. “What a fucking cliché. That’s so damn disappointing. What’s her name? Have you met her?”
“Nah, he says they have to keep it on the downlow. Swears they’re the new Romeo and Juliet.”
“They both die in the end.”
“That’s what I told him. And then he told me that they lived in the movie.” Mary May laughed with a shake of her head. “That’s when I realized that he was referring to that stupid kid’s movie with the gnomes.”
“I don’t have any words for that. At all. I couldn’t even attempt to bullshit my way through that conversation to save my fucking life.” I replied as I tried to fight the laughter, but I was failing. Mary May sobered up a bit, giving me a serious look.
“So, the Drubmans is why you wanted to meet then?”
I sighed, watching as my fingers played with the napkin, rolling and twisting it. “I need to get out of Atlanta, May. I…I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble, a big shit storm.”
“How big we talking?” she whispered. I glanced up at her, playing with one of my chain earrings, swaying with my movements.
“Two detectives showed up at my place yesterday morning. There’s a fed in Atlanta that’s taking a look at some of the criminal activity. They’re wanting me to play ball or I go to prison. And this,” I pointed at my face with a sickly-sweet smile. “Was Hurk Drubman trying to blackmail me into helping his family.”
She let out a whistle. “Two sides breathing down your neck? Fuck. Who’s the target? Like, what’s the motive?”
I glanced around before I leaned in. “Remember that gala? The one you said would be a good hit?”
“Yeah?”
“You never told me it was for the Seeds, May. I ran into John Seed.”
Her eyes widened, the shock having her lean back. “No…no, the tip was on Charles Laney. I didn’t say anything about the Seeds—”
“It was John’s event and his man—”
“Charles was not in John’s pocket when I handed you that tip, Wren.” She pointed at me, pursing her lips. “John Seed wasn’t even on the radar. And John never attends his own events, it would be unlikely for you to run into him regardless.”
“Well, he attended this one. And he caught me.” I shake my head. “Honestly, it was my fault for not digging deeper, making sure I had all the facts before making the move.”
“So what? You had a little run in, and he caught you? And you’re not dead…because…?”
“Yeah, that’s a long story. But at the end of the day, I refuse to be in the crosshairs of two rival families and the fucking cops.” Mary May frowned at me as I bit my lip, my hands shaking. “I need out of here as soon as possible. I lost most of my money in L.A., so I don’t have enough to get my ass out of the country and to get a comfortable set-up going. But I’m hoping Sharky could give me some sort of deal, and I can get him back later. He knows I’m good for it.”
She nodded slowly, deep in thought. “He could. And you getting overseas would put some good distance from the feds, and I think that’s the biggest thing.” She chuckled, throwing me a smirk. “Such a shame you can’t start over and hire John as your lawyer. Now that is something I would pay to see.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not a fucking chance. That arrogant asshole would drive me to murder, I swear it.”
“Oh yeah?” she cocked her head. “No chance of the two of you working together?”
I narrowed my eyes at her as Xander returned. I threw him a smile before he walked away. Grabbing some ketchup for my fries, I threw her another glance. “What are you getting at? I know your scheming face when I see it.”
She just shrugged. “I don’t know why you don’t come clean. Just tell them what’s going on, you know? You scratch their back, they scratch yours. I know Seeds are a crime family, but they’re still a bit honorable with how they work. It won’t go unnoticed.”
“Yeah, about that.” I dipped a fry in the red sauce, popping it in my mouth. “I had another run in with the baby brother last night. I held him at knife point, kinda ruffled his feathers a bit. I think that bridge is beyond burned at this point. He’ll probably kill me the next time I see him.”
“Jesus.” She breathed. “You know, as approachable as you really are, you definitely know how to make enemies and choose them, too. I think that you might’ve shot yourself in the foot on this one, Wren. John Seed is a powerful person, it’s better to have him as an ally than an enemy.”
I wrinkled my nose at her in disgust. “You’re kidding me, right? Did you not hear what I just said? Look, I came here to keep my head down, and you and Sharky both insisted on me coming here—”
“Because we can help you!” Mary May insisted in a hushed tone. “We have your back, Wren. You were in deep shit, and I know you don’t want to admit it, but you needed the help. You can’t do everything on your own.”
I sighed, looking away. She wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t help it. You learn quickly to not lean on other people, and Dutch’s way of teaching it…I flinch as flashes of that damn fire flit through my mind. “I’m not used to working with other people, Mary May. And I appreciate the help. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.” It’s quiet between us, but I paid it no mind as I pop another fry in my mouth. “But that aside, working with John Seed would’ve been a terrible idea. I steal from the rich that don’t deserve the wealth they have. That’s 99% of them, by the way. Working with someone that I would’ve easily made a mark isn’t in my best interest, because I assure you, John Seed is the perfect example as to why I do it.”
Mary May only hummed, but that was fine. It gave me time to eat the burger Casey whipped up for me. It wasn’t fair of me to believe that this was on Mary May and Sharky. I was the one that mis stepped when all they wanted was to help me. The fiasco in L.A. cost me dearly, and I wasn’t about to jump from one mess into another. It was nice to have people on my side for once.
“But they dropped by my apartment before letting me go. Drubman’s men, I mean. Destroyed my apartment and everything. The threat was pretty clear, May. If I stay any longer, I’m either going to die or get thrown in prison. Hurk said that once the Seeds are taken down, I get to walk away and stay out of prison. But I’m not stupid, he wouldn’t let a liability like me walk away. He’ll probably kill me right after, so I don’t have an out. I don’t win in this scenario, and I’m not interested in walking myself to the Devil’s door.”
“So, what do you need?” Mary May asked, finally speaking as she stole a fry.
“I need to know where Sharky went after the shake down. Where has he been laying low?”
She frowned, glancing at me curiously. “Sharky wasn’t approached by anyone. He’s been working at a tattoo parlor a few blocks down. I thought you knew that?”
“I thought he ghosted and went into hiding after I told him the job went sideways. And it kinda made sense after what happened yesterday. They said they shook him down.”
“Yeah, right.” She snorted. “Sharky wouldn’t ever give you away. You know that.”
I smiled, pushing my empty plate towards her. “I know. But I have a bag packed at home. I just need papers and I’m gone.”
“Where you gonna go?”
“Hmm. Maybe Greece. Somewhere nice and relaxing. I think I deserve it.”
Mary May chuckled as she stood, picking up the plate as she went. “Well, you make sure you stop in and say bye before you go. Don’t forgot us little people.”
I watched her walk to the back and disappear. Part of me was disappointed, honestly. I had high hopes for this working out, but things heated up way too quickly, and there was no way out. Running was never my forte, I hated tucking tail. But my game had been off since L.A., and I just needed a damn break. Peace and quiet to help me think over my next move and let things cool off.
Standing, I finally make my way out of the restaurant and into the bright sun. I was ready to get the hell out of here, despite growing a bit fond of the city. I tried hard to not get attached, but sometimes I couldn’t help it. Mary May and Sharky were the only friends, or allies, I allowed myself to have. It went against everything that I had learned from Dutch. No emotions, no attachments. We couldn’t afford it, and that mattered was the job and the family. That was the only concern you should ever have.
Turning, I began my way down the sidewalk, slowing as a red head pushed off a black SUV and stood there, opening the door. Her braids and ponytail gave her a female warrior look that I couldn’t help but admire, but the dark sunglasses shielded her eyes. Unease twisted in my gut as I stopped. White tank top, dark blue jeans, and biker boots that I definitely wouldn’t want against my throat. I turned around and froze, the man from inside standing behind me with his hands in his pockets.
“So, I guess I wasn’t paranoid, then.” I said icily.
He gave the smallest hint of a smile. “No. Good instincts, though. Impressive.”
“Now, we’re going to need you to come with us.” The woman called and I frowned.
“I don’t think so.”
The man cleared his throat. “Ah, I think it would probably be best. We wanted to give you the option to come quietly, rather than jump you. We thought this would be more polite and our boss insisted.” I weighed my options as people went about their day around us. “You won’t be harmed, I assure you.”
Finally, I sighed. “Fuck it. Let’s go.” I stepped in the back of the SUV with a roll of my eyes. I was leaving either way. What was the worst that could happen?
 I eyed the building wearily. I had expected a warehouse, or maybe a strip club. Possibly an auto shop or a fucking marina, at this point. But a dark glass skyscraper wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I kept throwing my new friends weird glances as they escorted me to the building. To say I was underdressed was an understatement, but saying I stood out like a sore thumb was more accurate. Faux leather pants, heeled combat boots, with a loose black tank top stood apart from the suits and dresses of the white collared professionals milling around.
The leather jacket was unorthodox, but it helped hide the knives I had strapped to my forearms. I felt a spike of anxiety as we talked across the shiny floor, the three of us taking our own elevator. Patience wasn’t a virtue I possessed, and once I made a decision, I usually worked actively to make it happen. So, being dragged here was making me feel as if I were about to burst out of my skin. I was ready to leave, to get as far away from this damn city as possible.
The elevator doors opened, showing a private office space. It’s a dark modern style, something of good taste I could appreciate. But it’s completely empty, and I wonder if maybe this is where the CEO spent most of his time, assuming this was one of those kinds of businesses. What the hell did I know? The lack of people wasn’t exactly encouraging though. I follow tall dark and handsome with the woman following close behind as he led me to another room.
It was a conference room with dark windows and a massive tv mounted on the wall. It’s a beautiful contrast of wood, grey, and black. Glass sputnik lights brightened the room just a bit, and taking in the rest of the room, I come to a halt. His blue eyes are watching my every move, and I shiver because I can almost feel the way they travel over me.
“Oh, fuck me.” I muttered, but the room is dead silent, so it travels. John’s lips turn into a coy smirk, and my next step is calculated. My brain is racing, taking in the space, the exits, everything I needed if shit hit the fan. I feel the shift coming over, the calm and calculated mask as I step into a role I knew like the back of my hand. It was like slipping into warm water slowly until you finally went under.
“Oh, darling, I appreciate the offer, and I’ve thought about it. But,” John replied with a click of his tongue. “You’re just not my type.”
I returned his coy smile with one of my own, walking slowly towards the table and deeper in the room. “Never thought for you to have such a good sense of humor, Johnny. It’s hilarious, you believing you ever had a chance to begin with.” My black nails drum against the back of an office chair, and at the opposite head of the table, I caught eyes with none other than Joseph Seed himself.
While John sat to his left, his wife and sister sat closely to his right, as far away from me as possible. Taking a quick note of the oldest brother’s absence, I recalculated as the woman continued to follow me, but the male guard stayed at the door. The only exit I could really find, unless I threw a chair through the glass wall. I squeezed the chair as I smiled at Joseph. Seemed sturdy enough.
“I’m very glad you could join us. Thank you for being so kind to accept the invitation.” His voice is calm, soothing almost, and as gentle as his eyes. It threw me for a loop, because you didn’t ever expect the head of a crime family to be kind or polite.
“With all due respect, I don’t believe I had much of a choice in the matter. But I appreciate you not kidnapping me off the street. Your…colleagues don’t practice in the manners you’ve displayed.”
His brows furrowed as his wife threw him a confused look. I hesitated for a second, catching John’s narrowing eyes as he tilted his head. So, they weren’t very aware of what the Drubman’s had been up to, which meant they probably got tired of me sniffing around. I was about to continue when movement to my right caught my attention.
I go rigid for only a split second, allowing myself just that momentarily slip as Jacob Seed enters the room with Rowan right behind him, a quick brush of her hand against her stomach. Our eyes catch, and this time, I know she recognizes me. It’s ice, at first, that enters my veins, much like that night. But slowly, and surely, it begins to boil.
She smiled at me, soft and sad, but I’m careful. Oh, so careful as the porcelain of my skin shows the same smile that I’ve shown the rest of them as she speaks. “Hello, Wren.”
My eyes don’t leave her for a second, and while I appeared at easy, almost nonchalant, inside my muscles were coiling like a snake, ready to strike at any second. “Rowan.” I keep my voice light, a slight lilt that only barely hides the sickly-sweet venom dripping off the tip of my tongue. It’s a light tread, almost a nudge, to test the waters. This is no longer about the family in the room, its just her and I, in our own dance. “Long time, no see.”
“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” She agreed, slowly making her way down the length of the conference table, both her and Jacob walking towards John. I turn on my heel, walking around the opposite side as I trace my fingers across the tops of the chairs.
“And here I thought you didn’t recognize me.” I slowed as she came to a stop, resting her hands on the back of a chair. She looked good, genuinely. It pissed me off even more, fueling the dark twisting sense of betrayal in the pit of my stomach. She knew, of course, how this game worked. But the 12 years without her gave me the element of surprise. Rowan hadn’t learned my habits, hadn’t learned my tells because she hadn’t been there to see them.
“I would always recognize you.” She breathed out, a glossiness settling in her eyes. “Even though you were still pretty young the last time I saw you.”
There. I come to a complete stop as I feel it, the rip in my chest as my blood pounded in my head. I keep smiling as I move my hand to fidget with the sleeve of my jacket, casual as ever. But there’s a millisecond that feels like minutes, where my eyes finally sharpen on her. The eyes have always been, and always will be, the mirror to the soul, and hers widen when she takes a glimpse of mine, because she knows it’s too late. That my fingers have brushed the cool metal of my knife.
She only has time to take a step back, and that was something I indulged her. Because it’s the next second that knife is gone, and my elbow is smashing the face of the red head behind me. I twist around quickly and grab a handful of hair as Rowan cried out, my knife hitting its mark as I smash Viking Princess’ face against the table. Twisting her arm, pressing and trapping her body with my hip, I pull her Glock out with my right hand.
Rowan’s eyes catch mine once more as she holds her shoulder in shock, blood soaking her shirt as she stares down the barrel of a gun that’s aimed right at her face. Cool and calm as ever, my breathing stays even, but I’m a hurricane on the inside and for the first time, the Seeds see my true self.
“Jane!” a soft cry pierces the air as the little sister rises from her chair, but before she could rush me, Joseph’s wife pulls Faith close to hold her. I glance down quickly, connecting the dots. I realize then why the woman was familiar, and now Faith’s significant other finally had a name. Jane.
Rowan laughed, meeting my eyes with something shining there that I can’t pinpoint. “Ah, there she is. I was wondering when you’d drop the act. Always have been good at changing faces, huh?”
Jacob was at Rowan’s side as she gripped the knife, breathing heavily through the pain as her face pinched. Jacob threw me a dark glare, his blue eyes on fire. “You’re lucky you missed, girlie.”
“No.” Rowan hissed as she pulled the knife out smoothly from her shoulder, eyeing the blood that stained the custom blade. Something crossed over her face, but it was gone when she met my gaze once more. “She didn’t miss.” Rowan her hands in defense, taking a small step forward. “Did you?”
I don’t say a word as I watch her gently place the knife on the table. It’s hard to keep my composure as I seethe, the loathing and hurt oozing out of me like toxic waste. I hated every word that fell from her lips, a nostalgia she had no right to, not anymore. The pain in my chest was worse than I could have imagined and that’s when it hit me just how buried this feeling had been. How it still bothered me…I had never moved past it.
“Never thought of you as a gun person.” She nodded to the Glock I aimed at her.
“People change.” I replied, my voice hard. I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face, so I spare him a glance.
John is still reclined with his hands folded in front of him, but even I can tell he was more tense than he was minutes ago. There’s a hard edge to his jaw as there’s a burning in the depths of his irises. He takes it in, and for once, I don’t know how to feel. I hate how vulnerable I am, that my mask is gone and there’s no going back. All for the sake of the absolute wrath pumping through my veins for someone I believed I was close to. I hated giving into the instincts, leaning into what Dutch had built me into. And I hear a click of a gun as the hairs on the back of my neck rises, that telling sensation running down my spine as the other guard points his gun at the back of my head.  
Rowan hums as she examines the wound. “They sure do. You’ve improved since I last saw you.”
“And you’ve gotten slower, Rowan. Can’t say I’m exactly shocked.” I sneered. She stops, looking at me with deep regret and I hate the way my heart tugs at it. I hate my hand is beginning to shake the slightest. This was always my problem, why Dutch always told me I would never be like Rowan. I was so emotional, so empathetic that it would almost become a liability. And all their eyes were on me.
Jacob stepped forward. “Drop the fucking gun—”
Rowan placed her bloody hand on his chest, pushing him back. “If she was going to kill me, she would have already, Jake. She wouldn’t need the gun, the knife would have found my throat before Jane got slammed against the conference table.” She sighed heavily before jutting her chin out. “She’s proving a point.”
The way she says it, like I’m a petulant child that didn’t understand the adult’s conversations, made me feel like bursting out of my skin. “No. No, I’m so done with this shit. What’s going to happen is you’re going to tell Lumberjack Steve to back the fuck off, let me walk out of this damn room, and building, and let me get the fuck out of this godforsaken city, because I have had it with this fucking love triangle that you’ve dragged me into.” I snapped.
“Love triangle?” Faith asked, her soft voice breaking.
There was a clearing of someone’s throat before Joseph’s soothing voice joined the tension. “I believe there was a mentioning of colleagues—”
“Yes,” I snapped, my eyes finding John’s once more. “Hurk Drubman Sr. sends his regards.” I reveled in the slight shock he gave away, the way Joseph leaned back and exchanged glances with Jacob. For once, I felt I had finally been able to shake this arrogant asshole and his family. I had leverage, I had information, and I felt that, for once, I was the one holding the cards.
John clicked his tongue as a look of discontent settled on his features, and he began tapping his fingers against the table. “He hit you?”
I swallowed as his gaze weighed on me, my heart picking up in pace. “His men snatched me off the sidewalk last night for a little conversation. And well,” I gave him a cheeky smile. “You know how charming I can be, John. Except Hurk is a bit less tolerant than you are.”
“Wren, I’m sorry. We had no clue.” Rowan breathed out and my face twisted in disbelief as my eyes pinned her down.
“You’re sorry?”
She closed her eyes momentarily, but it was obvious that this hurt her just as much as it did me. This reunion was nothing short of painful. I was just too angry to care for hers. “You have to understand why I had to—”
“I was 15!” I snapped, my voice rising an octave. The tears began to pool as full on rage began to break through the walls that I had spent so long building to keep her at bay. “I was 15 years old, and you left us behind!”
“I foolishly believed you would be safe with Grace, Wren. I thought you were better off where you were—”
“With him?!” I shrieked. Scoffing, I shook my head at her. “You were the only family we had left, especially after what happened with Eli.”
Rowan paled and I get a sick, dark satisfaction from hurting her. Reminding her of how deep she was before disappearing. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret what I did.” She whispered.
I swallowed. “I thought you were dead. We all did. He told us you betrayed our family.”
“I always had eyes on the inside. They went silent after a while; I didn’t know what was going on. Grace stopped corresponding—”
“Grace is dead.” I replied, my voice breaking. Her dark brown eyes go wide as she stumbled back. Jacob placed a hand on her lower back, but she doesn’t register him.
“You did it.” Her voice breaks, making her almost squeak out her words. “You passed his test.”
I shook my head, my mouth twisting. “No Rowan. I didn’t.” I swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat to no avail. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She…”
“She what, Wren?”
I’m visibly shaking, the gun quivering in my hands, but I’m too scared to put it down. Too worried that I’ve gone too far to turn back now. I needed to get the fuck out while I still had some semblance of control. “Doesn’t matter.” I ground out. That’s a rabbit hole I can’t afford to go down, the guilt still all-consuming. “I’m packing my shit and I’m leaving.”
“What stuff?” the man behind me asked. “We’ve been by your apartment—”
“Yes, and I’m sure the door was wide open!” I snapped sarcastically. “Hurk made sure his men gave me a nice reminder of the shit I’ve been dragged into.”
Joseph stood, placing his hands on the conference table. “Ms. Blake, I understand that you are in a bind. Please. Put the gun down and let’s talk. I believe there’s a solution for all of us.” I gave an uneasy glance around the room. John’s dark look and Jacob’s murderous glare wasn’t at all reassuring. As if reading my mind, he spoke again. “You won’t be harmed, you have my word.”
I throw a look at Rowan, and she gives me a quick nod, but I don’t know if I could trust them. The thought of getting roughed up again seemed exhausting.
“Randy, stand down.” Joseph called. The man behind me lowered the gun and stepped away. “Whitney, why don’t you take Jane and Rowan to get cleaned up.”
The woman I assumed to be Joseph’s wife stood, nodding and dragging Faith with as she walked towards Rowan. He raised his brow at me, and I looked away, slowly lowering the gun and stepping back. Jane shot up, her hand going to her nose as she glared at me.
“You broke my fucking nose.”
“That’s enough, Jane.” Joseph called.
She whipped around, fire burning in her eyes. “Joseph—”
“Enough.”
His voice sent a chill down my spine, and I’m reminded that this man is dangerous. That he isn’t just someone that has been nothing but kind since I’ve been here. No, he’s someone that I need to keep a distance from. So, when he looks at me again, I feel my walls come back up.
“Please, have a seat.” Joseph gestured to the seat in front of me as he sat back down. Looking down, I wrinkle my nose at the blood on the conference table. Moving down a chair, I pull it out and take my seat as I was left alone with the brothers.
The silence is almost deafening as I try to get comfortable. I finally glance at Joseph. “You wanted me for a reason, I take it?”
“Yes.” Joseph gave a gentle smile. “John spoke rather highly of you.”
“Doubtful.” I muttered, making John throw me a shit eating grin.
“It has come to my attention,” Joseph continued, ignoring John and me. “That you have found yourself in quite the predicament.”
“I suppose you could say that.”
“Hmm, yes. I’m sure the FBI haven’t exactly as been any more gracious.”
I paled immediately, and I have to fight the urge to kick myself. I recalled Hurk Sr. briefly mentioning ties in the police department, but I didn’t stop to consider this a possibility. My heart started to race. “What are you talking about?” I breathed out.
His smile never wavered as his eyes seemed to see straight into my soul. “A friend of ours has brought some…unfortunate news.” His attention shifts from me to the door as he straightens just a bit more. “And he’s finally decided to join us.”
My face pinches in confusion as I turn my head. And for once, I don’t school my expression to hide my shock. He’s nervous, and you can tell by the way he tugs at his cheap suit. His gaze is downward as he walks in. Jacob grips him by the shoulder tightly as his eyes finally find mine.
“Pratt.” My voice is detached and firm, trying hard to recover but failing miserably. I can’t hide my distaste for the detective.
He doesn’t say a word as John gives him a malicious smirk. He clears his throat. “Blake. Didn’t uh…I didn’t know you were going to be here.” He mumbled.
“The feeling is mutual.”
“Detective Pratt has done his job well, informing us that there’s a certain…ploy in place against us.”
I casted him a venomous glare. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I hissed.
He swallowed, shrinking into himself under Jacob’s heavy hand. I fought the urge to lunge across the table. If he had kept his mouth shut, I would’ve been long gone by now. But instead I was here, probably about to get a bullet in my head for fucking with the wrong family. John’s taunting voice warning me over and over to leave his family be made my teeth clinch tightly, wounding my pride. Lovely.
“I’m sure there are some hard feelings here, and I understand. But I’m sure you can understand loyalty, Ms. Blake. You can’t fault him for doing his job.”
His words don’t ease a fucking thing, on the contrary, it made me feel worse. “I understand.” I heard myself say, as if I was on autopilot. Slowly, I was switching into survival mode.
“Good. Now, I appreciate your incentive to move on to another city, and I will be more than willing to help you with that.”
“But?” I asked, meeting his eyes once more, and ignoring John’s intense stare.
Joseph let out a small chuckle. “Nothing gets by you, does it dear?”
“Kind of my job to not let it.”
“Ah, yes, that’s fair. Well,” he took a second to clear his throat before continuing, leaning forward and folding his hands on the table. “I have a proposition for you. I understand that the FBI are circling around you, so to speak. Asking for my family in return for your freedom.”
“Which we know is very unlikely to happen.” John added. I gave him a sharp look, trying to figure out if he was being serious or just an obnoxious ass, but I came up empty. Its weird, watching this man go from a cocky asshole to someone who is serious and all business. It occurred to me that I was finally seeing him in his lawyer role. “Chances are they’re going to use you to get what they want, and then from there, they’ll gather a case against you. You will either go down with us or be thrown in with whatever organization you originated from.”
“And now there’s the issue with the Drubman family.” Joseph cut in, taking back control of the conversation. “Clearly they saw an opportunity.”
“They claim to have ties in the police department.” I replied, eyeing Pratt.
“None of that is shocking in the slightest. Hurk Sr, if nothing else, is resourceful. But you have two groups that are weighing down on you, pressuring you to infiltrate and destroy my family.”
There’s something dangerous in the gentle gaze he gives me, and this is the first time I became truly terrified of Joseph Seed. I fight the urge to glance at John, because why would I? And I hated to admit this, but a part of me naively believed he would protect me from his older brother. It was foolish, because I was the enemy. I was the threat to him and his family, and I was answering for it.
“Then let me leave.” I whispered, finding myself desperate to be relieved of his pointed gaze. “Let me get the hell out of here. It would solve both of our problems.”
“But, unfortunately, it wouldn’t.” I frowned as he sighed, glancing at his hands briefly. “That would only serve one party, and it would be extremely short lived. Burke is very determined to keep you in his pocket. John explained to me that you would not be allowed to leave the city, not risking you disappearing from his radar.”
“Doesn’t take a big-time lawyer to state the obvious.” Pratt muttered.
Joseph and John gave him an unsatisfied look as I whipped around. “No one fucking asked you, asshole.” I snapped and he glared at me. I couldn’t explain my irritation towards the man, but something about him set me off. Maybe it was the fact that he reminded me of a weasel, the little shit. “You have some fucking nerve—”
“Language.” Joseph correct softly as Jacob squeezed a little too hard, making Pratt flinch.
“Quiet, Peaches.”
I couldn’t help the way I smirk or the way I quirk a brow at him. Peaches, huh? His glare at me intensified, but I brush it aside as I brought my attention back to Joseph. “So, Burke isn’t going to let me go easy?”
“Neither of them will.” Joseph corrected. “Not now, after they’ve gotten their hooks in you.” I turned and glared at the table, my skin crawling at his verbiage. I hated the idea of someone pulling the strings to control me. It was infuriating. “Luckily, we can work this to our advantage.”
“What is it that you want from me?” I asked, my irritation barely contained. I knew I wasn’t going to like this, and while they were scheming, I was trying to figure out a way to get the hell out of this alive. Just because I was willing to listen, didn’t mean I was willing to comply.
“I want you to do what you’re supposed to do. Or what you are being told to do, I mean.” Shooting him a look, he continued. “You’re going to work for me, Ms. Blake. John tells me that you are very skilled at keeping up pretenses—”
“You mean working a mark? As a con artist?” I asked with a raised brow.
His mouth twitched before he continued. “Yes, I suppose that’s one way to put it. My offer is that you work for us, pretend to infiltrate our family, while feeding the false information we give you to both the feds and Drubmans. In return, you have our protection from both.”
I scoff as I lean back in the chair with my arms crossed. “I can take care of myself, thank you.”
“Apparently not, darling. Or at least, that’s what it looks like from where I sit.” John taunted. I immediately threw him a death glare, ignoring the sting to my ego. I was ready to claw those pretty eyes of his out.
“John, that’s enough.” Joseph reprimanded, throwing him a pointed look. “It’s not just protection, Ms. Blake. This is only temporary.”
“So you say.” I replied warily. “With all due respect, things like this are never temporary.”
“No, I suppose you’re right. Though, I’m not like most people in this…lifestyle. My family, we keep our word. And I give you my word. You do this, not only will you have protection, but I will personally see to it you find your way out of this city safely. We can set you up somewhere of your choice. You will also be properly compensated for your time and help.”
“That’s awfully generous of you.” I responded suspiciously.
“There’s nothing in this world that’s more important to me than my family, my people, Ms. Blake. What you consider generous, I consider a necessary investment to ensure the future of the people I care about.”
I hesitated, completely baffled by the passion in his eyes. I clearly underestimated this family, because I wasn’t expecting that. “So, I pretend to work for you? Is that it?”
“No,” he leaned back, putting his foot on his knee. “That would be too risky. It puts you in the path of the feds and our competition, and neither of us want that. No, you’re going to become engaged to my brother.”
I stared at him before quickly looking at Jacob. Him? Wait…no, he was married to Rowan, wasn’t he? Did I pick up the vibes wrong? No, that can’t be…
My eyes widened as Jacob’s smirk did the same. I immediately turn to see John staring at Joseph incredulously. Oh. Oh.
“Absolutely not—”
“Oh, there’s no way in hell—”
“Brother, we didn’t discuss—”
“That little shit? Just kill me—"
“This is a bad idea, I assure you—”
“He’s an asshole—”
“Enough.” Joseph spoke out, silencing both of us as he raised his hand, and then turned to John. “You’re the only one of us that this could work with. You’re the only one that isn’t either engaged or already married.” He turned back to me. “I can’t hire you as an assassin, con artist, or anything thing else similar to that. That wouldn’t be infiltrating, not in your style, at least. This needs to be believable, and that’s not the way to do it. You understand, don’t you?”
I open my mouth to protest, but I close it when I realize that everything that he’s saying is right. I avoided violence, so me being added to their ranks wouldn’t make sense. No, my technique was always more subtle, taking a different approach. If I were doing this for real, it wouldn’t have been much different than what he had planned. The difference was the man sitting next to him.
John threw me an icy look, clearly not happy with the turn of events. At least that was something we could both agree on. I couldn’t help but think how much of a shame it was, in a different situation, he could have been charming. The first few minutes of knowing him had been pleasant.
Too bad he was such an arrogant prick.
“Look, I’m not exactly down for an arranged marriage. Especially to him.”
“It wouldn’t be real, obviously. You both will pretend to be in love for the public, the feds and Drubman will believe you’re doing what you agreed to do. Being engaged to John will offer you protection on all fronts, and that’s important with the attention you’ve gathered.”
I’m quiet as I take it in, weighing my options. I couldn’t leave, that was no longer an option. And slowly, piece by piece, everything fell into place. I eyed Pratt, and that’s when it clicked. “I don’t have a choice.”
“You still can say no, of course. But I think you know what will happen if you do.”
I hated his soft voice, hated how polite and gentle he was, because it hid how fucking clever and manipulative he was. Saying no would give me freedom to get the hell out, but that would be my only choice. They knew, so any chances of working myself out a deal with the feds was off the table, and there would be a target on my head from the Drubman’s. And it occured to me the real reason Pratt was here. I swallowed. He would take me in on the spot, with just a word from one of the brothers. Not even that, he would have to for Burke. I clenched my teeth. I’ve been played.
“You promise me a safe way out?” I asked softly, trying my best to keep my rage at bay.
“I promise.”
I sighed, eyeing him with distaste. “Fine. I’ll help you. But I don’t have to actually marry him, do I?”
The look on John’s face told me he had been offended, but Joseph ignored him. “No, not really. If we play everything correctly, this will be over in a few months. We can get away with a simple engagement.”
“Good. I can handle that.” I replied. Anything to keep me from getting thrown in the ocean tied to a concrete block or prison. I could handle a few months cuffed to this idiot to get the hell out.
“Hmm. At least she’s an upgrade from that Holly girl you were running around with.” Jacob muttered. “Kinda gives you a way out, Johnny. Keep the crazy broad off your back.”
John shot him a look. “Shut up, Jacob.”
“Just sayin’ you really know how to pick ‘em.”
“Fuck y—"
I rolled my eyes and stood. “This has been fun and all, but I’m gonna go ahead and go. We’re done here.” Without another word, I turned on my heel and walked out, shooting daggers at Pratt on the way.
I smashed the elevator button repeatedly, becoming more and more impatient by the second as I heard approaching footsteps. “Where are you going?”
The sound of his snobby tone made me groan. “Please go away, I’ve had enough of you for the last 24 hours. I need a break from Your Holiness.” I almost cried as the elevator doors dinged open, desperate for my escape.
“That’s awfully rude of you.” John said with a twist of his mouth. “And don’t you think you should be coming with me?”
“Are you kidding me?” I laughed as I pressed the lobby button. “I’m not staying with you, if that’s what you’re suggesting. As far as I’m concerned, as long as there’s no ring on my finger, I can enjoy my personal space while I still can.”
I smirked as I had the absolute pleasure of watching the doors shot to John’s reddening face. It was short lived, however, because I collapsed against the wall with a heavy sigh. I was exhausted to say the least, and there was nothing I wanted more than to curl up and hide in my trashed apartment.
  “What the hell is going on?!”
To say I was shocked would have been an understatement of the century, but the fury underneath was quickly approaching the surface.  I was absolutely looking forward to falling face first on what was left of my bed. So, it was a bit of a shock when I found movers taking my stuff out of my apartment, piece by piece. Spotting the landlord, I rushed over.
“Hey! Did you hear me? What do you think you’re doing?” I snapped, pointing at the apartment.
She was middle-aged, my landlord. Grey and brown hair in a bun as her bangs brushed her forehead, and no matter the weather, she always wore a shabby sweater. She was the strangest woman I had ever met.
“The tenant gave a notice, so we’re cleaning it out for the next one.” She replied with a frown, eyeing me up and down.
“The tenant…? I am the tenant!” Was she daff? I paid her rent every month, always on time and never short. We weren’t friends, but we were civil and polite enough.
She raised her brow at me before looking at the pages on her clipboard. “So, you’re ‘Duncan’ then?”
I gapped at her like a fish. Duncan? Who the fuck was Duncan? “What? No—”
“Then you’re not the tenant.”
“I’ve been living here for the past six months!”
“Under Duncan’s roof. It’s in his name, dear. Positive side, he’s going to be the one responsible for paying for the damages. But there’s nothing I can do, I’m sorry.” And with that, she turned, walking away with finality.
I tried to take a deep, calming breath. As much as I loved him dearly, I was going to kill Sharky. The only alias he was supposed to use was one of mine, but clearly, he had other plans. Turning to leave with a huff, I stop short. This time I can’t help my fists clench as Randy and Jane stand there by the top of the stairs. I could see the bruising on Jane’s face starting to form and the redness of her nose almost made me feel sheepish.
“You’re supposed to come with us, John sent for you.”
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?” I asked, feeling exasperated. But when they didn’t laugh or even crack a smile, I realized John’s men had zero sense of humor and I was officially fucked. I’d never felt so cornered in my life and I had to fight the instinct to run and get the hell out of there. “Of course you’re not. Fucking Christ.” I ran a hand over my face as Jane smirked.
“You’ll learn pretty quick that John usually gets what he wants.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
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lady-snavely · 4 years ago
Text
Sands of Time: Part Three
Blossomed Feelings
Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem!OC
Warnings: mentions of death, swearing, mutual pining, all the fluff
A/N: as always, reblogs are super appreciated!
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Like every other day when they came in, she was on her break. Today, she was perched in a window in the children's area with her legs drawn up loosely. There was a book in her hand, presumably the same one from a couple of days ago. Hidden safely beneath the tent of her knees was a steaming mug.
Jade's ears perked, her attention momentarily divided when she heard Bokuto, obnoxious as ever, greet her coworkers across the building. She was sure he included an exaggerated wave as well. Her advanced hearing, one of the few bonuses of being Fae, even allowed her to hear Daichi silence Bokuto with a low warning.
"There's a big enough table over there that's free." He was telling the group. She knew exactly which table he was referring to as she'd made sure it was clear before she went on break twenty minutes ago.
With a sigh, she closed her book and stood gingerly so as not to disturb her drink. The study group was her queue that her break was over soon. Still, finishing the chapter sounded real nice.
Nonetheless Jade found herself smiling as she glided through the aisles that were as familiar to her now as her own apartment. Her thoughts were with the oddball company of heroes and heroines from her book. Even preoccupied she nodded politely at the group of boys taking their places at the table.
"Fancy seeing you here again."
"Good afternoon to you too, Kuroo," she replied without stopping. "You all know where to find me if you need help with anything."
Yaku snickered and jabbed his elbow into Kuroo's ribs. "She didn't even bother to look at you."
"Her break's about over," Akaashi defended. "Iwaizumi messaged me a few moments ago, he and Oikawa won't be joining us tonight."
"Good, they can keep that stomach bug away from us then," Daichi grumbled.
"Please, they're probably having their own fun." Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"I wouldn't put it past them," Akaashi murmured. He turned to Bokuto and gave him a warning glare. "Make sure you actually work on your Maths today. You nearly failed your last test."
For well over an hour Kuroo was able to focus on his studying despite his loudmouth of a friend sitting across from him. Bokuto came along more for the social aspect than anything else. Not that any of them really cared the way Akaashi did, study group was the only chance they had during the week to get together anyway.
With a small groan Kuroo stood. He needed a break to stretch his legs. He wandered the shelves aimlessly, stopping on occasion to read a synopsis or two before continuing on. He really didn't have much free time at the moment, what with midterms starting to ramp up. Still, Kuroo made a mental note of books to read once the workload began to die down.
"-depends on what you're interested in, honestly." He overheard Jade saying. "Let's start off with something simple to help narrow it down. Are you looking for a stand alone story or a series?"
Kuroo, for reasons unknown even to himself, hid two aisles over and listened in on the exchange. Since starting at the nearby university last year he'd learned quickly that Jade was good at her job. Great even. Any time he'd needed help with research or simply pointed in the right direction, she'd been prompt with answers. Sometimes she even went above the call to suggest further material that always seemed to have more information than he'd ever need.
Still it amazed him that in a matter of a few questions Jade was excitedly showing the younger guest a section that would entertain her. "I'm a little older than the intended audience but this series here in incredible. But if you're interested in something a little more magickal - and I don't mean witches and wizards - then I suggest this series just here."
With a faint smile Kuroo turned from the duo to head back to his studying. "Fuck," he hissed when he ran into and nearly knocked over Yaku. "Creepy little shit. What are you doing?"
Yaku glared up at his taller friend with a wicked grin. "If I'm creepy what do you call what you were just doing?" He countered. A quick peek around Kuroo gave Yaku the answer he needed. "Admiring the view?"
Kuroo looked over his shoulder and saw the girl from before already devouring the suggested book. Jade was nowhere to be seen. "She's a bit young for me, don't you think?"
Yaku rolled his eyes. Sometimes he really wondered if Kuroo was, in fact, a total moron. Kuroo's infatuation with the Human girl had become more and more evident over the last year. There were some not so obvious clues, like how he just happened to run into her when he was wandering around, or how he had started zoning out in classes. Then there was the blindingly obvious: watching her like creep from the other aisle while she helped other guests, for example. "Come back to the table," he finally sighed. "I need help with the Biology assignment."
"My time to shine," Kuroo smirked.
"Don't go getting an ego."
"I would never."
Both girls were seemingly non the wiser to what had transpired only two aisles away.
Daichi, Akaashi and Yaku continued to study dutifully while Bokuto successfully managed to distract Kuroo. Jade had only one other guest after the younger girl had left with two new books in hand.
Even with that one person closing time seemed to come a little too soon for Jade. They always did on days the study group came in. She enjoyed listening to their friendly banter and teasing, they were good company and often pulled her into their conversations on slower nights.
Tonight was no different than any other night the group came in. It was closing time and they were still there, sitting at the same table they'd procured from the moment they walked in hours before. However, studying had been thrown out the window some time ago she recalled as she made her way over. Currently they were chatting, all but Bokuto and Yaku, who had fallen asleep.
Propping a hand on the back of Akaashi's chair she sighed, forcing disappointment into her words. "Time for me to lock up guys."
"Is it that time already?" Daichi glanced at his phone before sighing himself and rubbing at his eyes. "Sorry to be a bother again, Jade."
"I tell you every time: you aren't a bother, Daichi," Jade shrugged. "Libraries have always been around for a reason. Apparently a good location for a power nap is one of them." She roused Yaku gently, giving him a warm smile when he blinked up at her. "Closing time sleepy head."
"We'll get out of your hair as soon as we wake Bokuto," Akaashi assured her.
"Take your time, I've got some cleaning to finish up anyway."
Jade turned away but not before catching the mischievous grin on Kuroo's face. Just as she expected, the indistinguishable thud of a dropped stack of books met her ears. "Wake up!"
"Bro!" Bokuto whined. Jade's nose wrinkled at the shout. No matter how much she heard it she would never get used to that term.
"Time to go, Bokuto," Kuroo said without a hint of apology in his voice.
Kuroo waited by the checkout counter for Jade to come out of the back office. Over the past year it had become a sort of habit for him to wait for her while she clocked out and locked the building up for the night. In more than one hundred attempts she had yet to agree to, at the very least, allowing him to walk her to the bus stop. Maybe tonight would be different? There was only one way to know for sure.
"Ready to go, Kuroo?"
"Only if you are!" He replied. A triumphant smile adorned his face when a soft chuckle met his ears. Kuroo clasped his hands, fingers knit together tightly before asking, "Would you like some company on your way home tonight?"
It came as no surprise to Kuroo that she didn't reply right away. She emerged from the back office with the satisfied smile that came from finally being off the clock. "Thank you, but I'll be okay on my own tonight."
Kuroo cocked his head to the side for a moment before nodding. "One of these days you'll say yes."
"You're so sure of yourself, Kuroo." She snickered and ducked her head to hunt for her keys in her bag. "I appreciate the offer as always."
They left the building in comfortable silence. Jade tugged at the building doors, testing the locks before heaving a content sigh. "I saw you looking at some books early," she mentioned casually when they reached the sidewalk. "I can put them on hold for you. If you want, that is."
"Not with midterms in a couple weeks." Kuroo shook his head but smiled down at Jade. "That's very kind of you though."
Jade smirked. "I try my best."
Kuroo fought the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He didn't know it, but she caught the twitch in his fingers. "Get home safe, okay Jade?"
"Don't worry, you'll see me all safe and in one piece on Friday, Kuroo." Jade's smile, highlighted by nearby street lights, brought an unwelcomed heat crawling up his neck.
"Right, well, good night, Jade." He retreated into the shadows quickly before she could see the blush spreading up across his cheeks.
"May sleep find you easily tonight, Kuroo." Jade dipped her head slightly before she herself hurried off in the direction of her bus stop.
Kuroo stared after her until she was out of sight before he sighed and began his journey home. When he stepped into his dorm room he wasn't surprised to see Kenma poking feverishly at the buttons of his video game. They had intrigued him from the moment he'd laid eyes on them.
Kenma's elf ears were poking through his hair, the only sign that he was no longer holding his Humanoid form. Kuroo received a murmured greeting from his long time friend as he removed his shoes.
"You missed out," he told Kenma.
"Unlikely."
Kuroo chuckled at that as he made his way into their shared room to change. As he did, he shifted with a sigh of satisfaction. It was only in their shared dorm room or when they were home visiting their folks that he and Kenma could safely shift back to their Fae forms.
"The Solstice Festival is coming up," Kuroo reminded his friend.
"Oh." Came the reply. Kenma's attention was barely pulled from his video game. Kuroo said no more on the subject, knowing full well that when the time came Kenma would leave the Human entertainment behind and return home for the Festival.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jade's heart was racing and not only because she was running. Had it been a trick of the light or had he been blushing just before she left? She supposed either were possible, even with the street lights the lighting wasn't favorable, and she was nearly a foot shorter than him so the angle was weird too. She tried not to dwell on it too much.
She didn't want to get too close to him this time around. She brushed off his advances, his attempts at getting closer, as best as she could but her job didn't allow for blatant ignoring of guests, so it was difficult. But she didn't want her heart broken. Not again.
Tears glistened in her eyes as she stood beneath the light of the bus stop. She dried them before they could fall; before they could be seen. In all her years on Earth, why was it a Human that had to come along and capture her heart?
When the bus arrived it only had a handful of occupants. Given the time of night this was to be expected and allowed Jade her pick of the crop as far as where to sit for her journey home. She hugged her knees tight to her chest when she sat, her temple leaning against the cool glass of the window at her side. Normally she would read, but she knew if she opened her book the pages would remain unturned, for try as she might, her mind raced with memories of the past. Of the wild laugh that sent the butterflies in her stomach soaring. That almost there smile that had found her time and time again over the centuries.
As much as she wanted to, Jade suppressed the desire to shift back into her Fae form as soon as her door was locked behind her. Showers were much easier without the wings getting in the way. So it wasn't until she stepped from her bathroom half an hour later that she released the invisible thread of thought that kept her Humanoid form in place.
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sunflowerkiszka · 5 years ago
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Heyyy, from the dialogue prompts can I request 12, 14, & 32 with Jake please?? Thanks🙃
may this be love -jake kiszka imagine
dialogue prompts 12, 14, & 32 w jake
"Play with my hair, you know, like when u do the thing."
"I think you're just in love with me."
"Dance with me."
pairing: jake x reader
A/N IMPORTANT A/N: pls read this whole thing i am begging but PLAY MAY THIS BE LOVE BY THE JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE WHILE READING THIS (when the song actually starts in the story...plz... there will be another A/N when it's time lmao it's the ultimate experience and u will love it hopefully) I LOVE THAT SONG IDK IF U DO OR WILL BUT IT'S SO GOOD & CUTE
and then if u want queue "I Don't Live Today" after "May This Be Love" for the full affect of the story if u want it, i did it and if ur lucky like me the singing in the story will line up with the song as it plays, obviously it just depends on ur reading pace, but ik that some ppl can't focus on reading with another distraction like that,,,, anyways im totally rambling so let's get on w it
---for those who don't have apple music or spotify or a way to run it in the background, i couldn't figure out how to add the songs to this post it was probably a copyright thing but i tried im sry
BUT PLS PLAY IT WHILE READING THIS WHEN THE SONG STARTS IN THE STORY IF U DON'T UR GOING TO JAIL
and ik jake stans jimi so
as he should
genre: FLUFF
word count: around 1.3k
summary: jake had a long day and missed you a lot so when he comes home he just wants to b w u and u guys dance and it's cute as fuck
warnings: FLUFFY AS SHIT
As you pad to your bedroom with a trail of water drops behind you from your shower, you hear keys in jingle in the front door. Jake's home.
You plop onto your bed with a sigh and hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. When he walks through the door he looks exhausted.
"Hey..." you say and turn to him, but he just drops his keys on the dresser and sits next to you on the bed, pulling your torso down with him which makes you giggle.
His head weighs down on your chest and you wrap your arms around his neck. "Long day?" you ask him softly.
He only nods, but you understand. He lives a really fast paced and hectic life: constantly on the road doing shows and interviews, being stopped on the streets wherever he goes, and writing and recording meanwhile trying to keep up with his personal life. It's a lot, but you understand and he's just happy that he has you to keep him on his toes and support him through it all.
"Y/N," he mumbles and you hum in response. "Can you play with my hair, you know, like when you do the thing."
Whenever he gets super clingy it's usually because he's had a rough day and he misses you during all of him. Sometimes when his head was on your chest you'd hold it and brush the hair away from his face with your free hand, then lightly detangle it with your fingers. So you did just that.
After a while you start to get cold considering you're still in just your towel. You assume Jake is sleeping, but when you try to move from under him, he grabs your waist and you laugh, "Jake, I have to get dressed."
He sighs before rolling off of you, but doesn't fully let you go until you're out of his reach. As you look through the drawers you hear him get out of the bed so you turn to see what he's doing. He walks over to the record player next to you on the dresser.
The record you had been playing before you got in the shower was Are You Experienced and Jake smiles when he sees. He carefully moves the arm to cue a song from it. He usually insists on playing vinyls all the way through from the beginning, but he didn't this time.
"Wow," you tease.
The corners of his mouth curl up and his eyes widen a little, "I know."
((A/N: *PLAY THE SONG NOW PLS LMAO*))
As it spins you hear the beginning notes of May This Be Love and you throw your head back while your eyes roll back. You hadn't played this yet today. "I could cry," you say dramatically, but you're kind of serious.
He smiles and reaches his hand out, "Dance with me."
"Jake," you giggle, looking down at your towel still wrapped you.
"Come on," he takes your hand and you try to press your lips together, but your smile won't allow it.
He pulls you to him before resting his hands on the small of your back. You can't stop smiling as he sways you side to side.
"What kind of dancing is this?" you laugh.
"Is this what you want from me?" he asks while starting to spin you around. Your wet hair almost hits his face, but he dodges it and the two of you laugh.
"See, who needs clothes?" he asks, thinking he's proved some sort of point and you roll your eyes.
"Me. You're lucky I'm even doing this right now," you joke. You really wouldn't rather be doing anything else.
"Oh, I know," he laughs.
"Yeah, I don't even like you that much," you say while shaking your head, which contradicts with the wide smile you've had on your face the whole time, "This is a pity dance."
"You're really bad at pretending that you don't like me...I think you're just in love with me," he says with a smug smile while looking you in the eyes and letting his arms hang over your shoulders. You just shake your head and when you look back at him he's still looking at you. "Cause I'm in love with you," he continues.
You cover your face with one hand while the other is around his neck, "Stop," you giggle.
He brings your hand down and chuckles, "What?"
He had told you he loved you before several times, but it was just different whenever he said he was in love with you. It has an entirely different meaning. You always tried to cover the flustered expression or the goofy smile that would spread across your face whenever he'd say it, but he wanted to look at you.
"I have nothing to lose, long as I have you," he starts to sing while pointing a finger in your face, but can't take himself seriously and neither can you. You try to bite it, but he quickly pulls it away before you can.
You put your arms back around his neck, throw your head back, and close your eyes before continuing to sway to the music. "Waterfall, don't ever change your ways, fall with me for a million days, oh, my waterfall," you lightly hum to yourself.
This song reminds you of Jake and makes you emotional everytime. Whenever he's away for a long time and you listen to it, it's still sweet, but really sad to be honest. But right now, with him standing in your arms and reminding you of his love for you, it's the best feeling.
You start to laugh to yourself lightly when you realize your eyes were watering and a couple of tears were threatening to pour out at any moment, which they eventually did. Vulnerability and intimacy wasn't really your thing, but you'd been working on it and getting better. With Jake it was so comfortable and natural; almost scary with how well you two worked together.
"Not to be extra soft or anything...but I love you. And I'm in love with you so.. you were right about something for once," you smile.
Now it's his turn to cover his face. He puts the back of his hand over his eyes and all you could focus on was his wide smile. You laugh at him and poke his cheek to tease him.
You stand on the tips of your toes to place a kiss on the corner of his smile which he didn't expect considering his eyes were covered and his smile widens, if that's even possible.
You uncover his face and intertwine your fingers with his before leaning in again. As the outro intensifies he cups your face in his hands and brings your faces together.
The kiss is soft and sweet and when your smiles get too wide to continue you pull away momentarily only to be pulled back in. His hand finds your waist and he dips you down like you two are in an eighties movie.
You giggle against his lips and he finally pulls away once the song is over.
"You're crazy," you say as you walk back towards the dresser and the next song begins. Your cheeks start to tense up and hurt from the constant smiling. It didn't matter how either of you two were feeling before you saw each other, you'd always end up smiling.
He walks back over to you and as much as you love him, you really want to get dressed, finally.
Instead of stopping you again, he stands behind you and plants a kiss in your neck, "Thank you for that dance."
Even though it may seem stupid and small, you know it cheered him up and he's in a much better mood. He places his chin on your shoulder wraps his arms around your torso, and you place a hand on his cheek. "I wouldn't want to be doing anything else," you admit.
He smiles and kisses your cheek, or rather shoves his face into you, causing you to giggle before he makes his way back to the bed. As you continue to sift through your clothes you find a pair of his joggers in your drawer and you throw them at him in hopes that he'll change into them and get more comfortable.
You guys decided to order pizza for dinner and spent the rest of the night watching stupid movies and laughing together.
It didn't matter what you guys were doing together, but it always involved lots of laughter and smiles.
And you wouldn't rather be doing it with anyone else.
______________________________________________
quick a/n: i know i added "you wouldn't rather be____ anything/anyone else" things but i was using repetition which is a technique for emphasis but i hope i don't just sound like a dummy who can't come up with anything else fff
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theshatteredrose · 5 years ago
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Turquoise Lotus Father (Treasure Seekers Saga 2) - Chapter 13 - Etrian Odyssey 5 Fanfiction
AN: Hope everyone is staying safe and at home, and I hope this chapter will prove to be a distraction during these crazy and fearful times. Enjoy reading~
Ao3 | Wattpad | FFNet
Chapter 13:
“Are you sure you’re up for this? You still look pale.”
Drayce paused at the steps that led into the Council Building and turned to give Blayke his attention. Ever the worry-wort, Blayke looked at him with a frown on his lips and a concern furrowed of his brow.
In all honesty, Drayce didn’t feel the greatest. He slept surprisingly well, hadn’t awoken once. It was likely due to the fact that Zohar had kept watch over him, which wasn’t as awkward as it probably should have been. But he still felt a little bit nauseous and had a headache from hell. Both side-effects of that sleeping tonic or whatever that was used on him last night.
But he needed to tell Ramus what had happened to the token and how they were robbed. And if Drayce himself didn’t go to inform him, then the little prince would just worry needlessly.
“I’m all right,” Drayce managed a reassuring smile. “Just a little tired due to…whatever they used on me last night. It’s quite potent. As if they have a botanist on their side as well.”
If it was at all possible, the frown on Blayke’s lips deepened. “I see…”
“I’m just glad they didn’t go after Faelen or Caelem again,” Drayce continued as he turned and moved toward the stairs. He, however, shot a grin over his shoulder at Blayke. “Besides, you pulled an all-nighter, too.”
Blayke snorted lightly. “I still don’t look like shit like you do.”
“Rude.”
Mid way up the stairs, Drayce paused again and turned to Blayke with a request in mind. “Hey, Blayke, don’t mention to Ramus what happened to me in the library last night. I don’t want to worry him.”
Blayke took a moment to consider that and finally uttered a sigh. “Fine.”
‘But if it happened again’ was left unsaid. But Drayce definitely heard it in his head, in Blayke’s voice and all. And Drayce hoped that it indeed didn’t happen again. But…if it had to, for whatever reason, he hoped that it happened to him, and no one else of his guild.
They fell into silence as they made their way up the grand stairs of the Council Hall and entered the foyer. Once more, there were a throng of explorers lining up to speak with Ramus, the prince dutiful as ever.
Remembering Ramus’ request to not bother to waste time in lining up, and ignoring the side-eyes of annoyance from explorers in said queue, the two of them skipped to the front. And immediately gained the young prince’s attention.
“Ah, you’re back,” Ramus greeted them with a smile, somewhat surprised to see them again so quickly. But he seemed pleased to see them nonetheless. Yet, his smile dimmed significantly as a flicker of concern appeared in his eyes. “…Is there something wrong?”
“Oh, just a long night,” Drayce instinctively responded as managed a smile in an attempt to ease the prince’s concerns. “Nothing to worry about. “
Blayke side-eyed him before he turned his full attention toward Ramus. “We need to have another little…chat. If you’re not busy.”
“Of course not,” Ramus immediately replied as he motioned toward the hall leading to his office. “Come.”
The path to Ramus’ office was taken in silence once more. And the scene of them as they shuffle in, taking seats before the large oak desk, and Ramus shutting the door quietly was becoming increasingly familiar, too.
“I assume that something…untoward happened?” Ramus asked as he took a seat at his desk, much like he had done yesterday.
Blayke roughly folded his arms across his chest as he decided to take the lead for this conversation. “I’ll explain it as frankly as possible.”
He then promptly launched into a short, precise near rant about what had occurred in the library last night. He kept his word, thankfully, about not telling Ramus about how Drayce was also…attacked (for a lack of a better word). Or how he was still feeling the effects of the sleep tonic or poison that they used on him.
As Blayke finished his explanation, Ramus nodded his head quietly. And the expression of worry on his face was quite obvious.
“That’s…unsettling,” he murmured.
Blayke managed to stifle the desire to snort, and instead nodded his head as he leaned back into his chair. “No kidding.”
Ramus’ gaze trailed down to stare at the top of his desk as he folded his hands idly in front of him. “These bandits are proving to be quite dangerous,” he said after a moment of silence. “I will ask the guards to keep a look out for them.”
“That may cause them to take even more drastic actions,” Blayke was quick to point out.
The frown on Ramus’ lips deepened and he nodded his head slowly. “That’s true…though, we simply cannot let them run amok within the city’s limits so freely. Though…they do have free range, as they say, within the labyrinths.”
That was true. The guards of the city couldn’t patrol every nook or corner of the labyrinths. And the official way to the third floor hadn’t even been discovered yet. Intrepid and inquisitive explorers would know more about the halls of the labyrinths than the guards who are confined to rules and regulations.
And it was difficult to prove events or even crimes that occurred with no willing witnesses.
After a moment of contemplative silence, Ramus shook his head as if to clear it. And lifted his gaze from his desk to turn toward Drayce. “Do you mind if I ask how your research of this Turquoise Lotus Father is going?”
Well, that was his cue to get involved in the conversation!
“Ah, we’ve found a few pieces of information. And there’s a few individuals involved.”
Drayce took a second or two to practically gather his wits despite the thumping headache and actually remember all the pieces of information that both Shashi and Caelem had reiterated to him. And then he had to think of the best method to explain all of that to Ramus.
“Turquoise Lotus Father created the weapon known as Shining Lotus in order to enter the Legendary War because his brother, known as Blood Lotus Brother, had been possessed by a dangerous blade known simply as Cursed Blade. We don’t know who created this Cursed Blade or why it forced him to fight alongside The Despot. But from what we can deduce, Turquoise Lotus Father achieved his goal of freeing his brother, but the Cursed Blade still existed. The Blade Brothers and their close friend, a therian known as Sorataki, helped them to hide the blade to prevent another from being possessed by it. However, there is a fourth party involved. Another who was jealous of the Shining Lotus and wants to gain control over the Cursed Blade. From what we understanding, they also hid the Shining Lotus and left clues behind for future generations to uncover should the Cursed Blade ever awaken again.”
Ah…Yeah, he was pretty sure that was everything!
Wow, talk about a word vomit, huh?
Ramus fell silent as he tried to take all the information in. It took him a few moments as, really, there was a lot to digest. And with four individual parties potentially involved (perhaps even more), there were a lot of factors to take into consideration, too.
“And those bandits are after the Cursed Blade?” Ramus finally asked cautiously with a slight frown. “So why are they collecting the tokens?”
Drayce shook his head. That was a very good question. And the fact that they were involved made the entire thing far more complicated and confusing.
“I’m not entirely sure,” he replied. “I’m fairly confident that the clues we’ve discovered are meant to lead us to the Shining Lotus. And yet, they also seem to be indicating the Cursed Blade.”
Ramus gave a slow nod of his head before a curious expression flickered across his face. “Perhaps it depends on the intention of those who discover the clues?”
“That’s…possible,” Drayce murmured.
Like with how the Moon Legacy was created with good intentions only for those good intentions to become lost to time. Perhaps the brothers and their friend believed that the treasure chest with the map would remain in the hands of dedicated ancestors, only for the true reason to be forgotten. Or even stolen.
He hadn’t considered that possibility. He would need to speak with Shashi about it when he returned to the Crescentia.
“I’m afraid I am unable to offer you much assistance this time round,” Ramus went on to say with genuine regret in his voice. “The records of the Legendary war are quite ancient and I’m ashamed to admit, that even we are missing many a piece. I scarcely found any information on my ancestor’s trusted generals.” He shook his head, truly disappointed as his gaze downcast toward his desk once more. “It’s shameful.”
“Don’t feel bad,” Drayce immediately said in an attempt to reassure the prince. “It’s been a thousand years. And well we’re here now. We might be able to fill in the missing pieces.”
Ramus lifted his gaze and looked toward Drayce. A small smile made its way to him lips as he nodded. “Hmm. It seems that your library has far greater resources than the one we have here at the council.”
Drayce returned the smile with a playful one of his own. “Honestly, I have no idea what we actually have in that library of mine.”
Ramus continued to look at Drayce for a while, his gaze studying him. A very light furrow appeared upon his brow. But that was soon lifted and an expression of regal politeness made its way on his features once again.
However, there was a sense…of worry in his gaze.
“…You’ve been working hard,” he said, his gaze trained completely upon Drayce. “I understand your determination to put an end to this, but…take care of yourself.”
Drayce felt a sense of guilt appear in the centre of his chest. But he quickly squashed as he focused on smiling reassuringly at Ramus once again. “I’m fine, don’t worry.”
Ramus’ face was passive, but his gaze remained the same. And he didn’t appear entirely convinced. Drayce must look as washed-out as he felt. He…would have to try harder next time. If there was a next time, of course.
“We should get going,” Blayke was the one to state, prompting putting an end to both the conversation and Ramus’ inspecting, worried gaze toward Drayce.
“Yes, I imagine you have some…planning to do,” Ramus agreed as he pushed back his chair and took to his feet to do his duty of holding the door for them.
Drayce took to his feet, too. Purposely moving at his usual pace and ignored the way his head spun ever so slightly from the sudden movement. “We’ll be sure to inform you immediately should anything else happen,” he promised before he and Blayke bid their farewells and left the office.
As they headed down the stairs and past the still rather impressive queue of explorers and locals alike, Blayke suddenly grasped Drayce by the shoulder. Drayce had thought it was because he wanted his attention. But it was likely because he also missed a step on the stairs, his head still annoyingly spinning.
“He’s observant,” he said.
“Yeah,” Drayce murmured around a sigh as he touched his forehead tiredly. “So much for not worrying him.”
As they walked toward the carriage boarding area located outside the Council Hall, Drayce suddenly remembered something he deemed important. And since they were out and about, they might as well add a little errand to their schedule.
“Wait,” Drayce said as he and Blayke headed toward an empty carriage. “We need to head to the market place and get some more Ariadne Threads. For just in case something like yesterday happens again.”
Blayke looked mildly annoyed, obviously feeling fussy and just wanted to get Drayce somewhere he deemed safe. Yet, he also saw merit in the minor detour. “Fine. I’ll go in,” he said as he pushed Drayce to the carriage door. “You stay here with the carriage. You’re still too pale looking.”
“Ah, I’m fine,” Drayce instinctively replied as he took his seat on one side of the carriage. “I’m feeling better than I did this morning, I promise.”
Blayke didn’t verbally reply to that, however the look he gave him spoke volumes. It was a look that Drayce had seen multiple times in his life. A look that stated that while he didn’t feel like arguing, he believed that he was right. And would argue if he had to.
And, honestly, Drayce didn’t feel like getting into a sparring match with the other. Besides, Blayke would feel better if he could just be all protective and such.
“Alright, you worry-wart, I’ll stay put,” Drayce relented as he settled into his seat.
Blayke soon directed the driver toward the market area of the city before he climbed in himself. He promptly sat on the other side of the carriage. The carriage soon moved into motion and as they rumbled along the stone-cobbled streets, Drayce reached into the pocket of his trousers to pull out some money.
He thankfully had the habit of keeping a few en in his pockets for such occasions. In addition to the money for the carriage ride, of course.
The carriage soon pulled up toward the entrance of the market place. And Blayke once again gave him a stern look.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
Drayce stifled a chuckle. If he didn’t know his best friend as well as he did, that could have been taken as a threat. “And I’ll be right here,” he promised as he handed him the money necessary.
As Blayke slipped out of the carriage, pausing only a moment to tell the driver to wait for him, Drayce leaned his head back against the head support of his seat. He heard the door of the carriage close and the sound of footsteps outside.
After that, he began to idly listen to the incoherent murmurings of voices of others going about their business outside. The noise was comforting in a way, and yet it also agitated his headache.
Man…whatever that harbinger used on him last night was potent. He also couldn’t help but feel that he had done something similar to that a few times before. The chloroform or whatever it was he used was far too potent to have been done once or twice. It was crafted to perfection. Not only did it render a person unconscious almost immediately, it reduced them to near-complete helplessness for hours afterwards.
Seriously, he had to make sure no one else came into contact with that…toxin.
Drayce was confused when he heard the door swing open and felt the weight of the carriage shift not long after Blayke had left. He was even more confused when the weight seemed to be leaning toward the other door.
He lifted his head up and opened his eyes. “Hm? You’re back early-”
However, instead of appearance of Blayke greeting him, there was another. Someone he could have done without seeing ever again. Long brown hair, an eye-patched, dressed in the garbs of a dragoon.
“Well, if it isn’t the Pretty Boy Treasure Hunter.”
Drayce reacted by slamming his back against his seat in an attempt to get away from the other man. “You…”
“It must be my lucky day,” Keane grinned as he lounged all-too comfortably in the carriage seat across from him.
“Pity I can’t say the same,” Drayce bit out before he had a chance to consider his actions.
“Now, that’s just mean, don’t you think?” Keane all but cooed at him.
“You would know a lot about that, am I right?” Drayce returned swiftly. “Like those two bandits of yours that followed me in the labyrinth the other day. And broke into my guildhouse.”
Keane gave a short, sharp laugh. “My, are you bitter about that?”
“Exceptionally so.” Drayce mustered up a glare, though he wasn’t entirely sure how…effective it was with him still combating the side-effects of whatever it was that was used against him last night. “There was no need to take a guildmate hostage.”
“The method is inconsequential when the end result is the desired one,” Keane responded and literally waved his hand dismissively. He soon dropped his hand to his knee casually as he leaned forward slightly, only to stare straight into Drayce’s eyes. “Besides, that's what you get for trying to deceive me.”
Drayce gritted his teeth. So, what happened last night was in response to the switching of the tokens. “…What do you want?”
Keane tapped his cheek in a mocking attempt to appear contemplative. “Oh, where should I start? Maybe I should start with you.”
He then suddenly reached forward to snared a hold of Drayce’s chin. But his grip was cold, harsh, and the first thing that raced through Drayce’s mind that it was nothing like the tender touch of Zohar’s hand.
So, he reacted by immediately slapping the hand away.
“Don’t touch me.”
Far from angry or even agitated, Keane actually looked sadistically delighted by his reaction. “A feisty one, hmm~”
Feisty? Probably not. Disgusted? Definitely.
“Why are you after the lotuses?” he demanded.
Keane tilted his head to the side. “Hmm? Well now, I don’t give information away for free. You need to pay the fee first.”
Yeah, he had figured as much. Bandits wouldn’t do anything without a price. “Then forget it. I’ll find out on my own.”
“Oh, so cruel,” Keane mockingly purred. “I would have told you for a kiss.”
Drayce instantly felt queasy at the prospect. The clenching of the stomach type of nausea. It was…something he had never really experienced before. It was unsettling. “I’m even more determined to do it on my own now,” he managed to bite out.
Keane laughed. Not a joyful laugh by any stretch of the imagination. It was mocking, almost spiteful. A twisted grin appeared on his lips as he rested an arm on his knee and leaned forward. “But you’re not on your own, are you?”
Drayce didn’t respond. He couldn’t. Even as Keane stood up to lean over him, planting a hand against the wall of the carriage behind him, causing Drayce subconsciously sunk into his seat in a futile attempt to put some distance between them.
“You have others to worry about,” Keane continued. “Weaknesses.”
Drayce gritted his teeth. “Get out.”
“Since you asked so nicely,” Keane smirked, knowing full well that he hit a nerve. “Before that, listen carefully;”
Keane unexpectedly lashed out and pressed his hand against Drayce’s throat. His fingers wrapped around his neck as he pushed him back harshly into the seat behind him. Drayce’s hands immediately flew up to grasp at Keane’s wrists and he clenched his jaw painfully as he peered at him through one eye. That nausea returned when Keane moved his face toward his, that obnoxious and yet still menacing smirk on his lips.
“If you don’t want others to get hurt, you’ll hand over the map.”
Drayce squeezed his eyes shut when he realised that he couldn’t breathe properly. Mercifully, Keane released his grip on his throat and Drayce began to cough harshly as he held his neck with his hands.
The carriage shifted to the side as Keane thankfully stepped out into the street.
“I’ll be seeing you later then,” he said, that arrogant smirk of his in place before he slammed the carriage door shut.
Drayce starred through the small glass window as Keane walked away, toward some back alley located near the markets. His back was straight, his posture relaxed and somehow incredibly smug. He definitely looked pleased with him.
The door located on the other side of the carriage opened and as the weight shifted to indicated that someone else had entered, Drayce snapped his head around. Half expecting to see another bandit.
Thankfully, it was Blayke. And Drayce uttered a sigh of relief as he continued to rub his neck.
As Blayke took a seat, he turned to face him. His mouth was open, no doubt ready to tell Drayce that he had gotten the Ariadne Threads. But he stilled, and his brow soon furrowed deeply. “What? What happened?” he practically demanded.
“Let’s…just head to the Crescentia,” Drayce managed to utter, though his voice was surprisingly hoarse.
Blayke was having none of his dismissiveness, however. “What happened?” he actually demanded.
Drayce sighed as he rubbed his forehead. He was already anticipating yet more fussing when he returned to the Crescentia. “Keane just paid me a visit.”
“What?!”
The volume of Blayke’s voice did little to help with Drayce’s headache.
“He didn’t do anything,” Drayce replied, though that was a bold-face lie. And Blayke probably knew it from the paleness of his face in contrast to his throat. There was likely to be a handprint there, too. “But he’s after the lotuses all right. Why, I don’t know. Let’s…just go home.”
Blayke, of course, wanted to know more. Every little detail. But Drayce found himself becoming lost to his own thoughts. Especially in regards to that not-so subtle threat of Keane’s. He wanted the map. And he expected Drayce to just hand it over. Yet, that threat…he was going to force him into giving up the map, wasn’t he?
He didn’t know why Keane was after the tokens, or the lotuses, but he couldn’t allow that lowly bandit to get his hands on such treasures. But he…also couldn’t allow Keane to hurt anyone. Especially not someone from his guild.
A material treasure wasn’t worth that of a living being. His grandfather would always say that. But that Dark Blade. Someone like Keane shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near it.
…What should he do?
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mystic-scripture · 5 years ago
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Bit of a Life Update Before I Build a Life Model Decoy Queue
So, as some of you may have noticed, I am not terribly active lately. I’m planning on queuing a bunch of things to show I do still go on here, but I’ve been having a rough go of it mentally. And I don’t really talk about all this stuff on here, because I’m the sweet, supportive, and always happy Mystic/ Gwen depending on what you call me here. So for the sake of those that don’t really want to have that image shattered/ don’t want to read, I’ll  continue after this line. 
For the TLDR; I am having a really hard time personally/ mentally, and might only be present Via Queue or reacting to things I’m mentioned in. 
I work two jobs, making my week total at six days. I work as a food service worker at a high school kitchen, as well as an associate at a small business Pet Store that just had a shift in ownership. On the days I work both, I have about enough time in between to maybe eat some food and physically get from point A to Point B. Both of them are pretty labor intensive jobs that have me running around like crazy. I work from 8:30 am to 7-8:00 pm.
Now, the school is my first job of the day, and is significantly more demanding than the pet store. I have been shuffled around town, had my hours moved, changed, and been thrown into a new situation every week at what was supposed to be a standard gig. Thankfully, the store hasn’t been too busy, since it isn’t really our busy time of year. 
 However, I’ve been making a lot of mistakes, been late several time, and just ‘not being the Gwen (they) hired’ due to putting so much of myself into the kitchen in the mornings. Something really major (in a bad way) happened in the store, and unfortunately, it’s something that (while not completely) vastly fell on me. Because of this, my boss (the owner of the store) basically don’t me I need to step up again (cuz ya know, I’ve stepped up a LOT in the past, but that’s a different story) or I’ve fired. It’s not what they want, they even said ‘losing me’ instead of cutting/ fired, but it was a conversation had at the beginning of my shift, and I had to pluck up and be customer happy for the rest of the night. 
The same night, my dad talked to me about stepping up in the house. Because, yeah, I’ve been tired, working two jobs and haven’t really been helping out, I’ll admit. But I’m a 26 year old living at home with my parents, who were holing up my grandmother as well (she went back to my aunt’s but beside the point). I get up, work, commute, work, and come home. 
I know I should be doing more things. (My mom suggested exercise, which brings on a whole new facet to this anxiety and depression). The problem is, I am so bone/ soul/ emotionally tired every single goddamn day, that I usually am catatonic watching tv or doing mindless shit on my phone. My best friend from work is equally as busy as I am, the car I use is strictly for in town and work use, and my only remaining friend from High School works insane hours overnight as an RNA that I don’t really see her anymore either. I’ve had three largely unsuccessful relationships that just made me hate myself more, and no matter how hard I try, I’m still failing to do the ‘one job’ I need to be doing: Saving money to move out and have my own life. 
I barely spend money on anything, I buy some food items, yes, and occasionally I’ll get the one or two frivolous items, but for the most part, it’s essentials only, and bills (school, phone, car insurance, etc.) and I am still having weeks where I’m getting over-drafted and given fees. It’s not always my fault (my pay check from the pet store only cleared a week and a half after I deposited it, and sadly, not the first time I’ve had that issue), but maybe it is. But it’s hard to go out and do things when everything in this world costs something.
It’s just been really disheartening, I don’t want to write, I haven’t made anything in forever, and all I can do is clean my room as I try to slowly strip away to just things I need, and things I know I’ll regret getting rid of (not that every one of those was saved). I feel like an island eroding away into nothing, and I’m just accepting it because I don’t want to bother anyone or make my problems seem bigger than others’. 
I spend nights lying awake, just wanting to cry and let out a tiny bit of the depression I feel, but it’s so deep, the tears are in my soul, and can’t reach the surface. 
So, if you only see queue things for a while, that’s why. This ended up being way longer than I wanted it to be, and I thank anyone who stuck around this long. 
I love you all and if you want to message me, I’ll do my best to reply as quickly as possible. 
Love and Hugs, 
🌸Gwen/ Mystic🌸 
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fuck-customers · 6 years ago
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FAQ’s
I decided to get around to making a full FAQ to add to the sidebar. If I’ve missed anything, let us know.
Do you accept fuck coworker and manager submissions?
Yes we do! A while back we tried running a couple of separate blogs on the subjects but they weren’t successful because we continued getting asks and submissions here about coworkers and managers. Instead of just rejecting these we decided to accept them because they are a part of why customer service sucks. Changing the name of the blog isn’t necessary and would hinder the ability of our old and even new followers to find us if we suddenly just changed. We’ve been Fuck Customers for years, and it’s going to stay that way no matter how the blog evolves.
Why is the inbox/submission box closed?
We need to catch up because we’re neck deep in back log.
Can I use fan mail to submit my stories since the inbox is closed?
For the love of God no! This clogs the inbox up so bad and makes the process of catching up so much harder! Please be patient! We can’t reopen in a timely manner if we have to sift through and delete fan mail submissions that had no place being submitted in the first place in that format. Even when the inbox is open we delete those. The faster we can reopen the better. That all depends on our inbox remaining closed and uncluttered by fan mail. I may seem rude saying this, but it has become a serious problem and is hindering progress a LOT.
Why hasn’t my submission posted yet?
See here.
Who are the mods?
Abby, and Rodney.
Can you tag (insert thing)?
We used to, but with how big the blog has become it is unrealistic to be able to tag absolutely every single thing. We’re going to have to trust that our followers will be able to put trigger warnings before their own asks and submissions. We get up to 200 new asks and submissions a day on top of our personal and professional lives, so keeping up with posting/queuing is top priority.
Do you need anymore mods? Can I be one?
Ultimately this is up to Mandie, but at the moment the answer is no. Three is more than enough. You know what they say about too many cooks in the kitchen.
What don’t you post?
Anything racist, transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, etc for starters. Anything not on topic to customer service is a big one too. We also don’t accept customers whining about employees. There is a line where it might be acceptable, though, like a case where a customer may see a manager or coworker abusing an employee. But if you’re bitching because someone smashed your bread then you are in the wrong place. Go to yelp. Fan mail is not the proper course of submitting your questions or stories. Use the ask or submission options and if the inbox is closed then check back later. Finally, hate mail. We get a lot of it and it’s a waste of space. Now, sometimes we do post one of any of these simply to drag your ass through the coals. Catch us on a bad day and expect to get roasted. Don’t be an asshole and you’re fine. We also try not to post anything that includes real store names, so try to use a fake one.
Why have I been blocked?
If you said anything offensive in a note towards us or another follower then you will be blocked. That could be death threats, telling someone to kill themselves, racism, homophobia, basically being an asshole. If you’re dumb enough to send hate mail without being anon, whether it’s to us or another follower, you’ll also get blocked. We do not tolerate that shit.
I requested my submission be posted anonymous! Why did it get posted or why wasn’t it posted?
It is your responsibility to submit anon. We post what is given to us in a format that tumblr allows(why we don’t post fan mail btw). If we were to post your submission anonymous we would have to cut and paste. Multiply that by 100 per day and we’d be swamped. If it accidentally gets posted that is on you, but most of the time we just delete it.
I found something on here offensive! I’m sending hate mail right now!
You know that is the equivalent of asking to see the manager, right? Just skip the post and move on, you’re holding up the line.
*This does not include reporting posts that were accidentally posted that we would definitely remove. If you’re polite about it that is fine, but if you’re going to yell at us and tell us you’re unfollowing then that’s customer like territory. We get a lot of hate mail when all you need to do is point it out nicely. We also don’t condone sending hate mail to other followers. Maybe what they said was offensive, but sometimes good people don’t realize that their wording wasn’t that great. Sending hate mail isn’t the proper way to get your point across and help them learn from the situation.*
If I’ve missed any questions that need to be added let us know. These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
Why hasn’t my submission posted?
We get this question a lot so I thought I’d compile a list:
1.) You sent it through fan mail. We do not post anything sent that way since it does not include an option to queue or post it, just reply. We stopped copy pasting submissions a long time ago.
2.) You included a store name. Some of these slip through, but for the most part these get deleted for the safety of your job and this blog. There are actually people whose job it is is to hunt down stories like these and punish those who tell them.
3.) You requested to be anonymous without actually submitting on anon. Again, we do not copy paste submissions.
4.) You said something extremely offensive. Such as racist, ableist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc. Sometimes you might find we will call you out on it, but for the most part these posts are deleted.
5.) You sent hate mail. We will sometimes destroy you in response, but we delete 99% of these.
6.) The subject matter has been talked about to death. After a while we stop beating the dead horse with a stick.
7.) You posted a customer complaint. Yes, we will post good experiences praising an employee, but if you’re here to complain about an employee from a customer point of view then you’re in the wrong place.
8.) Rarely tumblr will eat the post. If your submission hasn’t posted in a month and it does not fit the rules above then resend it.
9.) Also extremely rare we might have accidentally deleted it. Again, if it hasn’t posted in a month and doesn’t fit the first 6 rules resend it. I think this has only happened twice to me personally though.
10.) It’s already queued or still in our inbox waiting to be queued or posted. We get a lot of submissions and asks, so you’ll need to be patient.
11.) Also, if you send a long submission through several asks instead of the submission link then we’ll delete them all. It is difficult to find all the parts.
12.) It isn’t on topic for the blog or any conversation happening on the blog.
13.) Asking to become a mod. We’re not accepting new mods.
14.) Complaints about what has been posted that does not fit the criteria on this list. This is rare, but it happens.
15.) Anything that seems like it’s an advertisement.
16.) Your post did not seem like it was related to customer service in any way. If you did experience at work then you need to make it clear.
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thessalian · 6 years ago
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Thess vs the Cinema
Someone on my dash reblogged a thing that went into my queue, about how people wanting to figure out how to get people ‘back to the cinema’. I get the impression that people don’t ... go to the cinema as much as they used to, and when they do? It’s for things that the industry doesn’t really want to acknowledge very much. 
Maybe part of it’s that people are getting choosier about their cinema. If someone wants to see fluff, they’ll wait and catch it on Netflix. Basically, going to the cinema’s a gamble; you pay your money and you roll the dice, more or less. Either you spent your money on a worthwhile movie, or you spent it on crap, or you spent it on a not-bad movie that still wasn’t worth the money. Unfortunately, the odds of the movie to which you bought a ticket being worth the price of said ticket are shrinking every day.
I mean, first of all, let’s look at the basics - actual financial outlay. To go to a movie, you need a lot of things. Transport to the cinema - so either public transport fees or buying petrol. If you drove, and depending on where the cinema is, you may have to pay for parking. Then there’s the actual ticket price, which is bad enough, but then there’s the concession stand. They won’t let you bring in your own snacks, because they want you to buy the overpriced crap at the concession stand. So either you save money and go hungry, or you pay through the nose. Sure, you don’t need snacks to enjoy a movie, but it adds a certain something to the experience.
So let’s talk about the ‘cinema experience’. Oh, it used to be a big deal. You had this huge screen and this phenomenal sound system and it was so much better than the diddy-shit TV at the house. The thing is, though, that audiovisual technology has advanced to a point that the only difference between a cinema and what one has at home is magnitude. The screen is bigger, which isn’t always better, and the sound is ... not even better, necessarily; just louder. Given that the huge cinemas as seen in days of yore have given way to smaller rooms to make every cinema a multiplex, we don’t need that level of sheer volume.
Speaking of noise, then there’s the people around you. Not all of them are respectful. Not all of them are quiet. Not all of them follow the rules about cellphones in cinemas. Not all of them follow the basic rules of common decency, even. And even in cases when the intentions aren’t malicious, the people who just want to sit and watch a movie in peace have to put up with noise from people around them.
The people around them. Right up close, in fact. A lot of people don’t like having to fight the people to either side for the armrest. Some people can’t comfortably sit in cinema seating because much like in airlines, the size of cinema seats have shrunk (again, to pack more people into a smaller space for more money per showing).
So basically what you have is a noisy, expensive experience that involves a lot of close proximity to strangers. People ... don’t ... always enjoy that. That’s leaving aside people who literally cannot deal with it - who have mobility issues that are ignored by too many cinemas, who have issues with their sight or hearing that make the cinema a difficult or impossible experience, who literally cannot deal with crowds or extraneous noise, who have health issues exacerbated by bright flashing lights, rapid perspective changes that they do not control, and overly loud noises.
Basically, once upon a time, the cinema was an experience. Movie theatres were theatres - beautiful places with balconies and space. Concessions were still a little pricey, but nowhere near as bad as they are now. It was a treat, but a manageable one, and a fun occasion. But as with everything else in this mess people have made of capitalism, the movie industry is basically run by greedy motherfuckers. They pump out samey movie after samey movie, with a few bright spots that they refuse to acknowledge in the more rarified circles of the medium, and jack up the prices to ridiculous levels, and then wonder why people aren’t going to every movie.
Dude, we have Netflix. If we want to watch movies we’re not sure about, we wait for them to come out on Netflix. And we sit on our own sofas, or in our own desk chairs, with our own snacks that we haven’t had to pay out the arse for, with as much space as we need, and as many concessions for our physical and emotional health concerns as we need as well. It’s only when something comes along that we deem really worth it that the highly motivated fan actually gets excited about going to see a thing on opening day anymore, and then only because they want to see it before the spoilers hit. I seldom if ever hear someone talk about how much they’re looking forward to seeing something on ‘the big screen’ anymore; just how much they’re looking forward to seeing it.
I don’t know what would happen to the industry if people stopped patronising the cinema altogether. I should probably care, because it would involve a massive sea change in how the entertainment industry as a whole operated. Maybe that’d be a good thing, maybe not. Either way, cinemas have to look back to their roots in order to find out where they went wrong. Maybe if they found a way to make a trip to the movie theatre an experience again, instead of just a way to milk everyone’s wallet dry for the privilege of seeing a movie on release day with no thought to the audience’s comfort or happiness, it would be different.
Summary: The cinema is not doing as well as it might for the same reason a lot of other industries are dying - it stopped treating its customers like people and started treating them like money-stuffed pinatas - beating on them until all the money comes out.
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magistralucis · 7 years ago
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Breakbot + Busy P + MYD + Alan Braxe + Borussia @ XOYO, 26 May 2018  [Review]
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A fantastic reward for the comedy of errors that is my life.
Been a while since I did a review of a gig! Technically, I should have done one for Justice last September, but given the amount of content I gained from that performance, I keep thinking that one has to be several gifsets and a video upload instead of me rambling on. I’ll get to it in a billion years;;; Over the weekend I went to this all-nighter and didn’t sleep for like, 30 hours? And I’m still recovering. So much like the TBB review last year, this is going to read super disjointed, like a bunch of random stream-of-consciousness notes I took over several hours. (Which 70% of this review actually relies on.) There are pics and a few lil’ gifs, all splendidly red-tinted to reflect the lighting in the club, but the tl;dr is essentially:
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The Journey
As previously stated, I do not live in London. London is not easy to navigate. I do not have the strongest sense of direction and frequently map out walking paths and exact number of turns and landmarks nearby my intended destinations, which works for me 9/10 of the time - but this means that when things go bad, they tend to go really bad holy fucking shit under the influence of certain factors XOYO is the hardest fucking club to find in the entire universe. I have never had this much trouble finding a single location despite having such clear directions from multiple sources. It’s not the club’s fault, of course, thousands of people find it just fine - the stars just utterly refused to align for me this particular weekend, turning what should have been a straightforward path from A to B to over an hour of running around.
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To attend to this spectacular all-nighter, I took the train from my university city to London, alighting in King’s Cross St. Pancras around 7pm. XOYO is located about a minute away from Old Street Station, which as you can see from the above image of the Northern Line is only two stops away; I could have been at the club in less than ten minutes. Because of this, I was slow to take the Tube when I initially arrived, instead stopping for a snack and some adequate hydration at King’s Cross (also tutting at Platform 9¾ which is not that impressive a display but that’s neither here nor there); I don’t think that was unwise in itself, but it was a decision that I ended up regretting, because it meant I didn’t find out about the spanner in the works until it was almost too late. 
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ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
A five-minute journey on a single subway train from A to B was all I was asking. Well it turns out I couldn’t do that!!! Because fucking engineering works!!!! All the Northern line service bilboards and directional posters were papered over and the information being given was often deeply counterproductive (or outright incorrect). First I was directed to Euston to try to make a switch there, but no Northern line services were running at all. Then I came back to King’s Cross and subsequently tried out Moorgate on the Circle/Metropolitan line, which was running Northern line services - but nothing northbound, like I needed! This was exceptionally infuriating because Moorgate is only one stop away from Old Street station. I was delayed for nearly an hour purely trying to solve this problem, because even past 7-8pm the stations were s t u f f e d with people all trying to navigate this Northern line dilemma in their own way. This line splits along the way, too, so depending on where you’re headed to and where in the ‘part closure’ your intended destination sits, you could be lost in utterly infuriating bullshit like I did, being only 1-2 stops away from where you are and being unable to get to it unless you walk or take overhead transport. 
And, you know, those people had already paid and gone past the barrier when they found out about the closures. Most of that info could only be had inside. At King’s Cross St Pancras, the only info available outside the barrier were announcements on rail replacement buses - confusingly worded at that, all three of them entirely northbound from King’s Cross St Pancras (I needed southbound for Old Street). The London Underground isn’t obscenely expensive, but it’s not disposable money either! There’s a bus directly from King’s Cross to Old Street Station (which I ended up taking in order to return) - but if you paid and entered the Tube station, you’re going to want to solve the problem before signing back out of the barrier! 
fml in the end I just walked. 7-8 mins from Moorgate and then XOYO itself is hidden in an alley between two massive building complexes with naught but a red neon sign to point your way. It’s not a big neon sign. On one hand maybe it was a good thing I was held up traveling. I arrived about 5 mins after the club opened and was let in straight away. If things had gone as I’d planned I might have ended up camping out in front of XOYO for an extremely awkward hour or whatever. There was no queue; despite it all, I was that early, and was amply rewarded for my earliness. But man. 
On the other hand, I was dehydrated all over again.
Hour-by-Hour Review
Contrary to the anguished nature of the vent above, most of the night was damn excellent and the review below is the main meat of the experience. I recollected this through small notes I was making on my phone - mostly of timestamps and a single keyword, like what songs were playing at the time - and some videos I took, the position of each photo, and my own memory from yesterday. They are patchy notes, but they are as detailed as I can make them, and largely accurate. Essentially: if you’ve read this far, I invite you to come live the night with me all over again! :D
9:30PM - 11:00PM: I was the only person seeking entry to XOYO when I finally turned up, though music was already playing inside. “You here for an event?” The guard asks, and I produce my ticket and passport. “Just so you know, there’s a band playing in there at the moment - the actual, uh, techno, that’s not going to start until ten o’clock. You can go in now, but once you’re in, you’re in - you won’t be able to come back out and back in again.”
I just look at them. “What am I going to do outside for half an hour. That’s fine.”
Ticket scanned, passport checked and confirmed, bag check occurs. I read that XOYO has airport-security level bag checks, but that was not my experience. I might just have been too damn early to raise any alarms. I’m let in, visit the bar, buy some water, visit the bathroom, tidy up a bit, tie my jacket around my waist to conceal my bag, etc. Around 9:45PM I peer down at the main room downstairs to check out this band, although I come back up shortly to prepare for the main experience...
... which, uh, doesn’t take place until eleven. After the band leaves around 10PM, what actually happens is that the main room is sealed off for DJ setups while in Room 2 upstairs Joshua James plays. I had the choice of saving my energy for later and resting on the bench, or going to see him; I chose the former. Security guy lingering in front of the main room says it might open in ‘half an hour’ when I ask him on the dot at 10PM. My guy that’s the longest damn half hour I have ever waited in my life. At least I can people-watch and save my place because like always, I want to be at the front when the doors open.
11:00PM: The main room finally opens and Borussia is in the house. The dancefloor is very empty for about half an hour while he gets the crowd going. Ushers frequently come by, brandishing red penlights to take away glasses and empty bottles and lost property and the like. XOYO only has a max capacity of 800~ people and I’m fairly sure that’s spread across two rooms; the glasses are like, proper solid pub glasses, too, actual breakage hazards. I imagine it’s because it’s a small and intimate club that the choice of glasses makes sense; even in Electric Brixton they gave out plastic, and that one holds close to 2000 people. I saw several toppling over or rolling on the ground before someone came to snatch up the whole stack of them. I applaud their diligence. 
11:10PM: Also this dancefloor is incredibly sticky. Pedro is visible on the left. He talks to a backstage fan before disappearing.
11:23PM: There’s a girl next to me with her boyfriend. We meet eyes. This girl will recur a few more times during the night. Swig of water taken. 
11:30~PM: A note about the stage structure of XOYO.
As mentioned previously, XOYO is a two-room club, one upstairs and one downstairs. Downstairs is the main and the top one’s for opening acts and smaller shows; the downstairs has a dancefloor, a bar off to the side, and an elevated stage. Now the important thing about this stage is that you can get on it. There are no barriers between audience and DJ in a XOYO set, except for the ready-built DJ booth and all the speakers and equipment set that may or may not be piled around it. There is a steel mesh of sorts to separate the sides of the DJ booth from the stage/dancefloor viewing area, but aside from that, it is entirely possible for you to mount the performing stage and be about two feet from the DJ at any given time. Around this time is when people begin to mount the stage and like. Dance. But sparsely.
I will return to this stage later. I’m currently parked in front of the DJ booth.
11:40~PM: 
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Pedro pops back into the scene briefly. He doesn’t linger for long there, but he’ll be back for the switchover. This is the best photo I could get ffffff
11:40~PM (not long after the above): Borussia puts Gorillaz’s ‘DARE’ on and the room goes fucking wild. The girl returns. This time we meet more than eyes and actually dance together, her boyfriend hitching her up on his back for about 30 seconds midway. This is the first point of the night that Borussia starts smiling and I’m taken by how sweet his smile is.
11:54PM: You know what I think Borussia kind of looks like Gesa if you squint
12:00~AM: Pedro in the house. He takes over slowly from Borussia, who exits amidst thunderous applause. For some reason, Pedro did not look awfully happy for most of the show. Compared to the last time I saw him DJ (opener for Justice) he seemed like... stoic? Like he had a lot in his mind. He was capable of cheer when need be, man knows how to drive a crowd, but like... the air about him was different. I have no explanation for this. It may just have been my perception.
12:00 - 12:30AM (?): I genuinely cannot remember when this first happened, only I remember Pedro being at the forefront and giving the people involved an amused glance at some point in the night. So it goes here, even though they might first have appeared during Borussia. Two incredibly scantily dressed and also gorgeous dancers, one male and one female (visibly), rolled out of the backstage area and began dancing on the elevated stage around the same time e v e r y o n e began piling on. I’d kill for the ability to dance on the heels they did holy fuck
12:13AM: I CAN SEE IRFANE OFF TO THE SIDE YES HE CAME AFTER ALL I know he’s officially part of Breakbot now but the XOYO description made it sound as if only Thibaut was coming. False alarm! The duo lives on.
12:28AM (?): Girl I was dancing with earlier + her boyfriend reappears from the bar direction. She mounts the elevated stage and disappears into the crowd.
12:30AM (?): THIBAUT AND SO-ME SPOTTED I WANT TO ATTACH THE PHOTO OF THIS MOMENT but it’s too blurry fuck shit
12:34AM: With a grin worth a million pounds Pedro puts on ‘Audio, Video, Disco’. Lighting changes to bombastic yellow and everybody just about dies for the next five minutes to follow. This was universally the reception whenever anything Daft Punk or Justice came on (Pedro also played ‘D.A.N.C.E.’ immediately after) - many people, Thibaut included, had Justice shirts on and earlier on the 26th Justice played a set on All Points East, so this was understandable.
12:39AM: Fuck it. I’m going on the elevated stage. I just hitched myself up.
12:40~AM: I can see so much better from here.
There’s a bit on the stage where the steel mesh barrier ends, and the DJ set curves away from the rest of the stage, where you can see everyone in the booth really clearly. Currently this spot is occupied by a dude and a girl who I progressively come to realize was getting increasingly drunk/high - she was clinging onto the sides - so I just gravitate towards the steel mesh instead, neglected by most people. For most part my view is blocked by people hanging around from backstage but every now and then they vacate, and I get a good side view. Not long after I settle in, Thibaut pops up for a short while, swigging from a bottle - and the girl I was dancing with from before almost crashes into the mesh shouting her hellos at him. (This is when I realize that she’s French.)
And, uh, I mean. What can you do when a thing like that happens. I join in, of course. Thibaut did not hear either of us before slinking back, but this did have the effect of the girl patting me on the shoulder for our first real conversation:
French girl: [Muffled something]
Me: Ah?
French girl: [After a few tries through the noise] You like Thibaut?
Me: Yeah! Came to see him mostly!
French girl: 😍💖😍💖😍 I’M THE BIGGEST FAN 😍💖😍💖😍
The oddest thing is that during this exchange, the boyfriend guy with her kind of gently takes off my hat and tries to put it back on me backwards. I have no idea what the fuck and I give him a look that conveys that I have no idea what the fuck ‘cause like... dude why are you taking my hat exactly??? Am I missing something??? I replace it and carry on. The girl’s swept away towards the bar again.
12:40~AM: Pedro is the only person who can pull off LeLe’s ‘Breakfast’ in a DJ set without it descending into narm territory imo 
12:40~AM: MYD IS HERE MYD IS HERE
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1:00AM: Thibaut and Irfane take over at last, the latter first, then Thibaut more fully. Mama P stays at the back, watching over the situation, before silently withdrawing. 
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The stage is so crowded I can barely breathe. French girl does not return. Ushers begin to move about the dancefloor carrying large foreboding black bags, not for glasses but for lost property.
1:00~AM: J E S U S 
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1:10~AM: So-Me is the third one in the booth. I wish people would announce it properly whenever he turns up - I didn’t think to expect him at all, as he was not there with Pedro when I saw him open for Justice and his name wasn’t on the guests list. He feels like a lottery treat ; w ;
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1:10~AM: Usher on the elevated stage. He finds a credit card on the floor and flashes an exact 🤨 look in my direction, as I was the closest to him. “Not mine,” I mouth at him, and he stashes the card in the lost property bag before vanishing into the crowd.
1:11AM: Come to think of it I’ve seen people lose some seriously scary shit on dancefloors. Like when I went to see TBB and Justice, on both occasions I’ve seen someone lose their foreign identity card. I’d be fucking terrified for my life if that happened to me - and given that I’m toting my passport around (some places don’t seem to accept BRP...?), which I cannot afford to lose whatsoever, I enter a state of brief panic while I check that nothing has been thieved from my bag. All clear.
1:23-25AM: Jesus Christ Irfane is so touchy-feely with Thibaut they’re in love I’m literally crying
1:30~AM: Because of the above mentioned affection-shenanigans, I stop dancing in order to get some photos and videos of the pair. One of the backstage fans notices. “Do you want me to take a picture for you?” He shouts through the mesh; I hesitate, because I’m not in the business of giving my phone away to strangers, but I take the risk. It turned out he made this offer during a period of very weird lighting and it wasn’t a good time for photos, but this is the best out of several attempts from him:
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“It’s not a good time,” he shouts as he hands my phone back over. “sorry.”
“Thank you anyway,” I holler through the bars. He flashes a grin and we carry on.
1:30~AM (after the above): Remember the scantily dressed gorgeous dancers? They’re back, dancing on a bunch of speakers (?) next to the side view. Drama with the (drunk?) girl hogging the side view; she gets into a conflict with one of the dancers and it gets really fucking tense. I’m not 100% on what happened, but I can imagine that something that wasn’t meant to be touched was touched or that she was giving the dancer some serious attitude - like the girl was literally grabbing the (drunk?) girl by the face and telling her to get a fucking grip. The dude with her eventually leads her away and the dancers dismount the stage, disappearing into the crowd - I didn’t see them return again, which was a right shame. 
tl;dr I took the empty spot and was able to photo marginally better than before.
1:35AM: 
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Jesus God this is heavenly
1:41AM: 
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Best quality: his wiggles
(He was mouthing along to ‘Why?’.)
1:40~AM: I keep thinking I stepped on something. This continues for some five minutes before I finally look down and yep whoops I was stepping on something all right. It was a hefty croc leather wallet/purse thing, all black, very sticky from the floor. I set it down in front of me and handed it over to an usher less than two minutes after. Another swig of water. Thibaut’s wiggles do not in any way pale next to Irfane’s.
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1:50AM (?): Yet another event I know happened but can’t remember where exactly to place. ‘My Toy’ comes on. I hear this one is a fan favourite and while I can think of better songs in Still Waters, I get to see for myself just how true this statement is. In fact, Breakbot played quite a few of their stuff - not a lot, but enough to bring on significant cheers whenever they did. ‘Back For More’ was the starter and ‘Fantasy’ came on at some point but ‘My Toy’ was easily the most popular of the lot!
2:00AM: Alan Braxe takes over. Irfane and Thibaut continue to linger, as does So-Me, but I’m beginning to see Myd far more often - he must provide the climax to this all-nighter. He had a vinyl signing earlier on the 26th; he’s greeted with cheers whenever he’s visible.
2:00 - 4:00AM: A broad sweeping observation to indicate that my phone is dying a horrible death by this point of the night. I brought an external battery and had it going again once I left the club, but fuck trying to fumble with that in the middle of a club. All those photos did it, especially the videos, and burning the battery on that so quickly was not a good idea because I wanted to take more of Alan and Myd boo
2:20~AM: Alan’s set is considerably darker in tone. Probably more like what I’m used to before I got into EDM, in fact. I consider him responsible for the mild whiplash I got from headbanging.
2:24AM: XOYO’s smoke machines are at their peak performance around this time and I can barely see a thing. Not being a big venue, this is a problem. Irfane and Thibaut and So-Me pop back up for a selfie with one of the backstage fans and rope Alan into participating; he does so exactly once and turns back, as professional as always, while the other stay on for a second and third go. 
2:30~AM: wHAT’S THAT I HEAR???? CRESCENDOLLS?????
2:30~AM: IT’S CRESCENDOLLS
2:35AM: Hey remember when it took Irfane 10 years to figure out the Very Disco = Veridis Quo pun
2:40~AM: By this point I’m getting super hungry and I’m just about out of water. Water in XOYO is expensive. Something like 2.50 for a 300ml bottle. The DJs had a stack of these bottles by the side and were powering through them at alarming speed when they weren’t drinking other things. It’s my policy to go early and buy a bottle of water at the bar of wherever I attend a gig or concert, pretty much always. It’s my first time running out with more than an hour to go, though, but despite this I keep dancing with the empty bottle clutched in my hand. I don’t actually remember why. Maybe I thought I’d fill it up after the show or something. Spoilers: I didn’t
2:55AM: Right as Myd is taking over some dude pokes me and asks to have a sip of my water. I should not have been dancing with that empty bottle. He looks disgruntled when I tell him it’s empty and moves on. Sorry my dude I only wish I’d have been able to spare even a drop but I was genuinely out;;;;;
3:00 - 4:00AM: I hate having to sum it up like this but due to aforementioned factors (dying legs + low battery + lack of water) I do not actually remember much of Myd’s set. This is a great injustice to the man and it’s pretty much entirely my fault for not taking any time to rest (seating was provided near the bar) or not buying myself another drink; next time he’s in the UK, wherever he may be and whoever he might be with, I shall make the effort to hunt him down and give him a proper listen. What I remember of his set was brilliant, cheery but mysterious, coupled with Daft Punk’s ‘Rock n’ Roll’ somewhere in the middle. Please enjoy this terrible picture of him taken with my phone’s dying strength.
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3:18AM: I can timestamp this accurately because it’s on the last video I took of the night. Enjoy some Myd wiggles
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3:30~AM: This was roughly when ‘Rock n’ Roll’ was on! Irfane chatting away in the corner. So-Me lending a hand. Five minutes in he leans over and distributes stickers (I think) into the crowd. I was sadly on the other side and did not get a chance to receive any.
3:40~AM: People are beginning to hunker down on the elevated stage or leaving altogether. The night is drawing to a close. 
3:55AM: Phone blinks out completely at this point. XOYO is open from 9:30pm-4am on Fridays and Saturdays (also 21+ years only policy, which I appreciate) so I figured Myd should be winding down about now. Every DJ participating so far has switched out/bowed out after an hour, after all. Myd might need a minute more to think about it.
4:03AM: Myd might need three more minutes to think about it.
4:04AM: Myd might need four or five more minutes to think about it.
4:10AM: Myd why are you doing this. Myd it’s past closing time. Myd my guy you’re pouring ambrosia upon the unworthy. Myd ple
4:15AM~: In the end I leave a few minutes early. I have to stress that this had absolutely nothing to do with the quality of Myd’s set nor that he was playing beyond closing time - encores and extra content are extremely good! It’s just that my legs were dead! ;A  ; I limped upstairs and washed my face etc and he was still playing when I came out. That’s dedication. 
The End
As soon as it’s actually over, cheers went up - and as I’m sitting at the bench near the entrance of the club just trying to get my shit together, everyone files out all at once to a bunch of weary-looking security guards wishing us all a good night.
I join the line. It’s bright outside already. Some of the guards offer to call us a cab and some of the people take them up on it. I myself walk out of the club, turn left, and down Old Street Yard to examine the bus stops. One of the bus lines are 24hr and go directly to King’s Cross; as I reach one of the relevant stops and lean around, trying to figure out the times, the French girl from earlier recognizes me and pats me on the shoulder. “You were the girl dancing next to me, right?”
“Yep, that’s me.”
“How are you?”
“I’m good and so exhausted I could melt into the floor.”
She giggles and bids me goodnight as she moves to another bus stop. I didn’t get to ask her about Thibaut, as she wasn’t by me when he came on, but I can only assume she had a good time too. Soon the 214 comes along and I hop on towards King’s Cross. The sun is rising and the white noise in my legs dissipates, just a little, only to be gone completely some twenty hours later. Feels good man.
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misunne · 7 years ago
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👀👀 bucky and loki for dat ship thing eyyy
send me a ship and I’ll tell you:
Who’s more dominant:
they totally take turns. it really depends on their daily moods and how they woke up and what they’re feeling. i would say by default, loki is the more dominant one because he takes great pleasure in stringing bucky along, and he loves to be chased and guide that chase. but in the bedroom, i’d say bucky is dominant more often. their dynamic is constantly shifting between who’s on top or bottom. sometimes one of them can say just one thing to put the other into submissive space and ope they’re gone
Who’s the cuddler:
bucky. they’re both cuddly little fucks, but bucky is definitely the leading cuddly fuck. the boy gets cranky if he goes an hour without a cuddle.
Who’s the big spoon/little spoon:
loki demands to be the little spoon as much as possible. he’ll be the big spoon when he feels the desperate need to protect bucky, or when bucky has a nightmare.
What’s their favorite non-sexual activity:
fucking with other people. they Love to make public scenes and shove their love into people’s faces and make them uncomfortable. honestly, they just really love to be obsessed with each other. they can be alone in an empty room and find things to do. they just like to play with each other. just talking, or playing with each other’s hands, or being with each other. 
Who uses all the hot water:
surprisingly, bucky. loki showers with cooler water, but bucky tries to scourge cold from his system. he’s happy if it’s just mildly scalding. and to be honest, loki prefers baths.
Most trivial thing they fight over: 
bucky’s hat collection. loki hates his hats. bucky convinces him otherwise through a lot of kisses. loki still threatens to burn all his hats on a weekly basis.
Who does most of the cleaning: 
loki. he’s not quite a neat freak, but he likes organized chaos, and he doesn’t like filth. he can handle weapons and books and things laying around because they have a purpose for being there, but dirty clothes? dishes? nah fuck that
What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: 
loki. bucky wonders why all of the netflix suggestions are like. sex in the city, jersey shore, america’s next top model.
Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:  
bucky. loki just sneers at the heat register. bucky is used to house maintenance things. loki tries to fix every issue with magic.
Who leaves their stuff around:
loki. his spellbooks end up all over the backup HQ, as well as his papers and whatnot. don’t touch them. they might actually be cursed.
Who remembers to buy the milk: 
bucky. he’s very conscious of stock and the running of the house. and he enjoys having a functioning household.
Who remembers anniversaries:  
bucky. loki always loses track of time.
Who cooks normally: 
bucky. loki is a great cook, but he would much rather try to distract bucky with kisses as he cooks, and command him to make food.
How often do they fight:
pretty rarely, actually. they both have such an instinct to make out whenever they start to get irritated, and bucky always gives in first because loki is adorable when annoyed. and once bucky starts smiling, loki just can’t resist. the only time they fight is with personal fears.
What do they do when they’re away from each other: 
they mourn until the other comes back. honestly, they’re terrible when they’re apart. loki occupies himself with studying, practicing new magic, and causing 10x more fuckery than he ever does when bucky is home. bucky mopes and texts loki sad messages. works out, sends him topless selfies. flops over steve and whines. generally both being insufferable like for the love of god stop sending them on separate missions and just keep them together because they’re disgusting
Nicknames for each other: 
for bucky: sweetling, dear heart, precious boy, little one, my darling, etcfor loki: baby/babe, little prince, doll, etc.
honestly loki is the pet name king, he has so many
Who is more likely to pay for dinner: 
bucky the gentleman. and loki loves being treated.
Who steals the covers at night: 
bucky is the one who actually gets cold. and he feels better when he’s all wrapped up. but seeing as loki is usually the little spoon, they both end up in a duo-blanket burrito.
What would they get each other for gifts:
honestly... they don’t really want for anything. their gifts are mostly sex related. lingerie, toys, each other, etc. experiences. they’re both pretty particular about belongings and enjoy finding material things on their own and claiming them. because they’ve both had such a history of owning nothing in their own right.
Who kissed who first:
bucky kissed loki, because loki severely resists ever falling for a human. he falls for them because he can’t help it.
Who made the first move:
that really depends on what you mean by ‘first move’. loki can hardly speak without flirting, and bucky only encourages it, so they may have been flirting since day one.
Who remembers things: 
honestly, they both have some difficulty with memory, but loki remembers more. bucky is still freshly suffering from very human impacts against his mental capacity, but loki’s brain heals much faster. but in daily, little things, bucky is pretty good at keeping track of items and duties and things. where is my scarf? it’s on the chair. oh, okay.
Who started the relationship:
it was sort of a mutual attacking each other. loki resists, bucky tries to make him comfortable and reassured, eventually they break down and jump at each other.
Who cusses more: 
bucky is a potty mouth.
What would they do if the other one was hurt:
loki can handle it, he’s pretty confident in his healing skills for humans. as long as bucky’s not extremely hurt, it’s fine. but bucky loses his shit. he knows that not much hurts loki, so if something does, he’s like Holy Shit. he’s also very protective. bucky would get paranoid if loki got a papercut.
Who is the dirty talker:
oh man, they’re both filthy. loki is a very poetic dirty talker and he doesn’t stop. he goes all out. bucky gets very graphic. 
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gauphastus · 5 years ago
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Eco pt.2 - A flawed and grindy time sink
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Eco... can be really grindy. for most people i imagine it would feel like a massive waste of their fucking time. and unfortunately if you want to get the most out of it you will probably want to spend as much time on it as possible-- at least on multiplayer servers which is the best experience honestly.
do NOT solo this game. it is dogshit solo.
on that server i mentioned i missed a day or two. went to visit a friend. got home and got back on. things had progressed without me.
see, whether you’re online or offline, based on your diet and housing, you generate skill points. these are used to develop skills and specializations for use in a variety of industries. depending on the server settings these points may generate very quickly or very slowly. it is up to the admin who largely factors in the world size and potential player population. the system works this way to create collaboration between players.
our server was reasonably busy but getting skill points wasn’t on the extreme side. not too bad. but not being there meant other players who were there had already established themselves as brickmakers or bakers or smelters. they had just started specializing in high-demand industries. they help the server population tier up.
and if you’re not there for that, especially if you’re trying to be competitive, you will easily be left behind. now your fancy house doesn’t generate nearly as much skill points as the people with these new materials. what’s more is those people now dictate the prices of the new industries which will often drastically increase grind.
but soon... even that tier is left behind for yet another, with new specializations, new workbenches, and new materials.
don’t get me wrong. you can absolutely still participate and putter around. you absolutely can still futz with the market and even compete... but because of the way the game is designed currently lower-tier stuff loses nearly 100% of its value as the population moves up into better materials. and they will move up. because by and large they are more dedicated than you. despite my playing extremely frequently it seemed as though there were a couple of players on at all hours. i even heard through the grapevine that one particular player was progressing quickly on their own because they would take turns with their roommate. nearly 24/7 at that rate.
i don’t fault the players though. the game is designed in a way that creates this situation. and while i see it as something of a flaw i still see it as reflective of a greater strength. maybe someday the kinks will be worked out sufficiently.
more about the grind though. it’s heinous. forget waiting around for skills. you haven’t felt tedium this bad since minecraft. lacking in skills you may still find yourself producing specialized goods... but that comes at a vastly higher material cost as well as a vastly higher production time. without a skilled cook your food will be drastically more costly to make and may also take upwards of 20 minutes a unit. same with smelting, carpentry, tailoring...
so if you were lacking food then it’d be important for you to make a shop offering to buy some, or for you to take the time to go out into town to shop around. the issue though is that this takes time. you may not have much else to do but it does become tedious going shopping for goods.
say you have your food issue handled. you need to produce more stuff for money, which itself is for materials and other shit you need. pretty normal. maybe you’re able to make bricks. well, to make bricks you need clay. there’s a clay deposit nearby. grab a shovel and get to digging. oh right, digging is also a specialization. if you don’t have that you burn calories (energy/stamina) way faster. god help you if you have a low-tier shovel. you’ll be burning through materials repairing it. crappy wood shovel? repair with wood. oh wait, ran out of wood. gotta cut down a tree and hump all the lumber back home.
just watch the hours in your day vanish. Eco gameplay can often be described as “if it’s not one thing it’s another”.
maybe bricks aren’t your bag. maybe you’d like to go hunting. make some arrows and shoot some wolves or bison. people pay good money for carcasses. again, time. the fucking time. the time it takes to prep for hunting isn’t bad and making a bow and arrows is pretty easy. queue arrows up at a workbench while you’re out so they’re ready when you get home. but the wandering around looking for creatures. and even if they’re around there’s all kinds of geographic obstructions, day and night. and if you’re not a hunting specialist you do shit damage. shoot any animal once and they take off running for the hills. if you lose them it’s unlikely you’ll see them again. but you still try. you blunder through forests and up mountains looking for animals. maybe you get some and bring them back.
was it worth the time cost?
maybe you’re not a hunter. you’re a farmer. oh wait. this game for some reason doesn’t care about farming at all. okay, that’s weird, Eco. you’re weird.
meanwhile the big guys who got out ahead of it all are living large with more than enough money to buy anything. but they don’t need anything because they’re the lead producers and they have everything they want.
if they log out with most of the economy’s money it’s in limbo. if they got bored and bailed it’s essentially gone without the right laws in place.
i appreciate what this game does very much. it offers a rewarding and very interesting experience... initially. after it turns into routine though it becomes so utterly boring and meaningless that the average person would probably refund it if they didn’t realize they’ve already dumped 100 hours into the thing without even noticing.
in my previous post i mentioned my friend got bored and bailed. why was that? because he looked at his future specializations and the work needed to get there. we had already been playing for maybe a bit more than a week at that point. might have been day 9 or 10 for the server. eventually the workbenches/machinery needed for the higher-tier tasks became so monumental that he completely lost interest. he could get the skill points, sure, but the specialization would have been really time-consuming and expensive. he wasn’t wrong.
meanwhile, after he left, i stuck it out for a day or two longer. it was still exciting to me to run the store and see the market grow and change. but i couldn’t help but feel disappointed. my buddy was gone and, while i really liked the folks on the server, i just wasn’t feeling voice chat. i had a bit with them but i have my own personal issues when it comes to keeping up appearances with people.
so i was kinda lonely i guess. that and i had nobody doing my buddy’s work anymore. it was down to me on this property. there’s not a lot of maintenance really besides maybe repairing tools and eating food. but i felt a need to keep production moving. so i took up mining as well. didn’t have smelting though.
i suppose i could have kept going, maybe joined up with some other folks who needed a guy, maybe could have scaled down and done what i could while buying/selling stuff... which i realized was another time sink. putting stuff on the market doesn’t instantly generate money. people have to come to you and trade the stuff. and it may take half a day or more for that to happen.
i tried. but in the end i burned out really hard on it. i made my land free and deposited my equipment and deeds in a chest in the stockyard. i haven’t played since the beginning of last year.
but i’m looking at it again, thinking of giving it another go with a bit of a different attitude, a little change in approach. maybe i’ve had it wrong? am i not treating myself fairly? maybe instead of going at it like it’s a full-time job i should take it easier. maybe four hours a day or something much more reasonable?
who knows?
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