#questioning if i should make a commissions post but i have nothing new in my portfolio so :((((

[balteus]

wish i had a 3 piece full course meal in front of me so bad rn

[yandere-sins]

The Orcas’ Tale - After End

[My Commission Info] | [My Ao3] | [Ko-Fi]

a/n: Another lovely commission for a sweet anon ♥ Thank you for commissioning me to write about my sweet fishy boy again!! :') It was a lot of fun!!! ♥

Characters: Nerrocan (OC) x AFAB!Reader Warnings: Yandere, Sexual Content (Non-Con, Rubbing, Penetration with too big penis, Reader's first time, Breeding Kink, Cuminflation, Creampie), Violence (Biting, Blood mention, Scratching, Mentioning of wounds), Mentioning of Testing on the Mermaids, Obsessiveness, Overpowering, Monster, Monster Features, Dual POV, Long Post Words: 8157

You should have been used to emerging from water by now, yet, you still gasped for air the moment you breached the surface. 

The pool water parted to reveal the indoor basin of the new cave constructed in Nerrocan's habitat. For a moment, you were almost taken aback by the deja vu as it reminded you of the original cave you had been relocated to by the three orcas way back at the beginning of your journey. But the longer you looked around, the more the illusion vanished. It was familiar, but not the same.

Strong arms wrapped around you from beneath the blue. Arms that should have induced a fight or flight instinct inside you, but the feeling had long turned into acceptance. After so many days spent together, there was almost nowhere Nerrocan hadn't touched you, and considering he swam across the ocean with you, there had been much more closeness between you two than just this simple touch. 

"How do you like it?" he whispered expectantly into your ear as he emerged after you. By now, he usually let you swim alone if you two had some time together aside from the experiments. Nerrocan found watching you use all your limbs to get through the water amusing, and you wanted to go easy on him, especially whenever he had gone through something painful or gotten wounded.

Somehow, this only made this situation more nerve-wracking for you. 

"It's familiar… and yet, not at all," you replied vaguely, assuming he knew what you meant. Nerrocan hummed softly in agreement, and you swam to the edge of the water, putting your hands on solid ground. By then, all the memories shattered as you felt the unnatural material beneath your fingertips, a stark contrast to the stone cave Nerrocan had lived in before with his cousins. The material this cave was made of was nothing like that. It was just an imitation—a fake. Because that's all it was.

"I wanted it to resemble your old home. I was hoping you'd feel more relaxed in a familiar environment."

Lifting yourself out of the water, you were given a small push as Nerrocan used his tail to help you up. It didn't make for the most graceful landing, but you were thankful regardless for the assist. Now standing in the cave, you inspected the dimensions, glad the facility hadn't saved on making it big enough for a species like Nerrocan. This way, he could move around comfortably, although you observed him pacing around the pool even after receiving a proper retreat. Staying indoors must have made him restless regardless of how much effort you put into making him comfortable. It still hurt in your heart that he let himself get captured just for the sake of bringing you back to your people. 

You heard Nerrocan come out of the water behind you as you checked out the cave, walking the perimeter around the exit. Very quickly, you found where he stored food and, strangely enough, stones. Even though you didn't question him why he'd pick out stones from the bottom of the pool, you made a mental note to ask other researchers if this was perhaps a sign of boredom and if you had to get him something to busy himself with. It wasn't always the best idea to ask Nerrocan directly, as he usually resorted to saying he was fine as long as you were around. No matter how close you two lived, you couldn't always be there. So, instead, you would have to ask around later what others thought. It was just how things were done here in the facility. 

Another thing you noticed was the lack of decorations. You remembered the cave of the orcas had trophies and skins hanging on the walls. Nerrocan wasn't allowed to make or wield weapons anymore, obviously. Still, since he couldn't hunt, there was no way for him to actually decorate. Maybe that's what the stones are for, you thought quietly, furrowing your brows. 

"Something displeases you?" he suddenly asked, and you had almost forgotten that he was still around, observing you like he did most days. 

"Oh! Oh, no! It's fine!" you replied quickly, moving on from the barren walls. Although, you wondered if Nerrocan would appreciate art. But how would you get a painting down here without the water ruining it?

Next up, you found an obviously assigned sleeping space, and you sighed a sigh of relief, seeing that, at least here, the makers of the caves had taken note of what you told them. It was a more private corner in the whole cave, even slightly covered by an extra wall so Nerrocan had at least a tiny bit of privacy from the cameras that you saw blinking around the wall encircling this space. It would probably be your job to analyze the materials and repair them if they broke, which would be a hassle. But not anyone could just jump into Nerrocan's pool and especially enter his cave. That privilege went to only one person: you. 

"Do you get some good sleep here? Looks comfy!" you asked, pointing at the fur-bedding. It wasn't as smooth as seal fur but thicker, slightly elevated from the ground, reminding you of a futon. Perhaps Nerrocan could like this new added comfort. You definitely were glad about lying down on a mattress again rather than fur on the ground. 

"It's fine," he answered, a familiar response. You almost jumped a bit hearing him right behind you, looking back to find him having closed the distance to you while you were thinking about his bed. His eyes dragged away from the fur, Nerrocan's expression unreadable. Still, somehow, it gave you the feeling he didn't like the bed as much, considering it was just "fine". He might not have been an orca of many words, but you did feel he'd expressed himself differently had he actually liked it. It was time to change tactics!

"Do you prefer seal fur for–"

"You can sit down if you–"

Both of you looked at each other, stopping halfway through your sentences. It was rare that you two spoke up at the same time, but even Nerrocan's lips curled into a smile as you chuckled about it. However, he had no idea what that invitation elicited inside you, a knot forming in your stomach as you stood there, nervously thinking about your options. 

You two were a team; it wasn't right to distrust him. He had done a lot for you, and you weren't ungrateful for all his efforts, but you've noticed Nerrocan pushing. Pushing for something that you simply couldn't wrap your head around doing. 

The staff and the professor had told you extensively about your role and how to conduct yourself. They weren't shy and didn't make any of it sound goofy or pitiful as they explained the terms and what to do. Somehow, you were able to avoid it all this time up until now. Yet, the thought came back to you with the same fear and reluctance as when you first listened to them explain what it meant to mate. 

Essential, they had called it. The most important factor to the whole facility. Mermaids that didn't bond and mate with their caretakers were usually dead within months as they slowly withered away without a reason to live. Nerrocan had to have a mate, or he would probably die too. Despite your best care, the stones possibly were the first indication of his mental health declining. It was for the best of the test subjects, but you… you couldn't do it. 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, giving him a fake smile before replying, "S-Sure!" as confidently as you could. Carefully, you took a seat at the edge of his "bed", feeling the soft material below you give in beneath your body, yet cushioning you all the same. It didn't feel bad at all, but when you brushed your hand through the fur, you noticed how different it was from the softer seal Nerrocan was used to. 

"You know, it's no trouble to change this if you'd prefer a softer material to sleep on. How about we add some pillows? Do you know what a pillow is? You place your head on it. It's pretty nice!"

Perhaps you were rambling a little as you drew in your knees, hugging them tight to your chest like a defense barrier. You had to accept his invitation if you wanted information that would ultimately help him. Knowing what he was sleeping on right now would later benefit your case if you needed to ask for other things for him. Even if you didn't like how exposed you felt like this, it was your job to take care of him and make sure he was doing fine, even if he wasn't the best to communicate his feelings and thoughts to you. He had no one besides you to rely on, so you couldn't let him down even if you were uncomfortable.

Nerrocan had crawled closer once you took your seat, waiting for something it felt like as his muscles kept tensing and relaxing visibly. But there was a small sparkle in his eyes that you couldn't quite pinpoint. Maybe excitement? He seemed happier when you two talked about whatever came to mind, so perhaps he enjoyed the conversation despite your rambling. If you could make him happy just a little bit, that would be good. It would keep him healthy in the long run despite the awful things he had to endure. Tightening your arms around your legs, you tried not to think about it and instead focus on him. 

"It's fine. Perfect, now, actually."

There it was. Nerrocan, sly as he was, knew how to intensify words if he wanted. He had no problems with telling you if he liked something, if he actually meant it. And he did, now, after you sat down… in his sleeping spot… oh no.

Nerrocan let out a soft chirp as he leaned down more, almost bending over you and trapping you in his resting area with his big body. You couldn't outswim him, but a moment of surprise could be the only reason you left his cave alive. No matter how well-disposed he was towards you, you could never let your guard down around a predator like him. 

"Well! Great! I see you've been settling in nicely!"

You laughed nervously as you jumped up with too much vigor, almost banging your head with his, but Nerrocan reared back just in time. He was just like an animal in such moments, immediately alert and reactive. And you were just a human, you… you couldn't be his mate. You couldn't stay here and pretend that wasn't what everyone—including Nerrocan—seemed to want from you. Hell, how would that even work?! He was so big and you were average at best! You two were so different, there was no way he would even fit—

"I-I should go!" you announced, suddenly overrun by your emotions. Somehow, you had managed to spiral yourself back into a state of panic, your heart racing while your head filled with unnecessary ideas. Imagining yourself with Nerrocan… that was simply too much for you. 

"Wait!" Nerrocan called out as you stormed to a smaller part of his body so you could step over him and get to the pool. You didn't need to look back to know he was following you, the cave slightly creaking as he turned over to go after you. You had freaked yourself out enough that you didn't stop. This wasn't the ocean, and you were good enough of a swimmer to get out of the pool on your own. However, your footsteps grew smaller as you got closer to the water. 

Your reaction wasn't fair. Nerrocan had done nothing to you, and yet, you treated him like a pervert just because some scientists wanted you to think about him that way. Mate this or that, but in the first place, he was your savior and fellow sufferer. If anything… he was your friend. He didn't deserve to be treated this way. It was only you who interpreted the things you were afraid of. Nerrocan wasn't at fault.

Taking a deep breath, you turned around, laying your head to the side questioningly, deciding to give it one more go before you chickened out for no apparent reason. "Are you okay?" he asked, shifting slightly from side to side to look you over. Worried, he stared at your body, goosebumps erupting on your skin as your stupid brain imagined him undressing you with his eyes. You told yourself he was just concerned about you, but the icky feeling remained. 

"Your heart was beating very fast. Do you need to rest?"

"Ah, you know…" you stumbled, avoiding eye contact with him. Of course, he heard that. Stupid orca senses! "I'll just get back and take a nap. I'm sure it's going to go away again soon!"

You gave him a curt smile, pointing at the water. But before you could turn even to look at the pool, his big hands reached out, faster than you could register, lifting you up from the ground.

"Woah!" you exclaimed as Nerrocan tugged you in against his chest, twisting his huge body over and facing his bed again before scooting closer. Even this touch wasn't unfamiliar, and neither was the feeling of his skin against your palms and face. But your body only decided to freak out more. What was he going to do? Would he demand his right to mate? Did you delude yourself into honestly thinking Nerrocan wanted you like this? Did you really think he'd be okay without a mate?

With your eyes closed tightly, you only felt yourself lifted off the orca and sat down on the soft bedding again. Once more, you had let the intrusive thoughts take over your critical thinking, and when you slowly blinked open your eyes, you looked straight into Nerrocan's, his gaze filled with concern. One hand supported you on your back as if he was afraid you were going to faint at any second now, while he used the other to cup your face, clearly still looking for wounds he had missed. He would have smelled the blood, of course, but it seemed even his rationality could be thrown out of the proverbial window when it came to you. 

"Do you need food? Water? Are you in pain?"

His questions were so innocent, his voice breaking with worry, making it hard for him to speak clearly. No matter how well he spoke the human language, his instincts were always at the forefront, and those allowed only the orca way of communication, the soothing rumble in his chest being evidence of this. When you didn't immediately answer him, his expression merely darkened as he chortled, trying to coax what you needed out of you. 

"I'm really fine, Nerrocan," you reassure him, much softer than you thought you were able to. Somehow, his concern and efforts to make you comfortable warmed your heart. You were unjust to assume the worst of him, and he had proven to you yet again that he was simply concerned about your well-being. Maybe he was right, and you needed some rest, this situation had already taken its toll on you. 

"Good, okay. Your heart is still beating very fast, what can I do?"

"Maybe… let's just talk?"

"Sure." Nerrocan nods thoughtfully, imitating your gesture while seemingly trying to fulfill your request. "What is that thing you talked about like? That… pillow?"

"Oh!" you exclaimed, delighted to hear him remember. It seemed like such a small matter to talk about, but you were happy that he listened and followed up on what you said. "It's soft and slightly elevated! You can tug it beneath your head so your spine rests evenly, although I know you can't lie on your back, but at least turned to your side?"

You took a moment to think about whether Nerrocan could sleep with a pillow in the first place, something you should have considered much earlier before suggesting it, but now, you just had to go with the flow. However, you didn't notice him shift, laying down flat on his stomach before asking, "Like this?" And suddenly, with no small strain on your thighs, his head fell into your lap, arms reaching up and around your body, keeping it in place.

"Y-Yeah," you mumbled, stunned. Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Nerrocan could really understand you and make logical connections. And in moments like this, it was even harder to make yourself believe he didn't do it with some ulterior motives. Not like this was the first time he ever laid his head in your lap, but still, under these circumstances, it made you nervous again. 

Inhaling deeply, you reminded yourself to trust and stay calm, slowly letting your hand fall on top of his head and brushing through his hair. Nerrocan's lips trembled before he gave up his composure and smiled, the rumbling in his chest almost like a purr while he made a few satisfied clicking sounds. 

"Don't get too comfortable, big guy. I'm just taking a quick rest before going back to work!" you joked with him, running both of your hands through his slick hair. As always, it was untangled despite the length, still as beautifully shimmering and glossy as you were used to it. A good sign, you figured, considering his hair had fallen out yet from the stress and procedures. 

Making a sound of disapproval, Nerrocan turned his head forward. His arms tightened around you, and you gave a small, nervous chuckle as you watched him nuzzle his face into and between your thighs. His hold on you got even stronger as you noticed his upper body lifting and staying like this for a moment before sinking, as if he just took a deep breath. Shame ran over you, the wetsuit you wore smelling like water and fish, but who knew what he could smell with his enhanced senses? You washed up this morning, but that was a few hours ago… 

While fearing about your body hygiene, you didn't notice the mischievous glint in Nerrocan's eyes as he watched your expression, his body weight shifting more and more on top of you. It wasn't until you felt yourself losing balance, toppling backward, that you started to struggle against the inevitable, big hands catching you before you could hurt yourself. At the same time, Nerrocan took the chance to scoot up higher, hovering above you when your head fell into the cushioned bed. 

"I've waited a long time for this," Nerrocan mumbled, a guttural sound as his head dipped into the space between your head and shoulder, slick skin against your wetsuit, the tip of his nose dragging down the side of your throat, smelling you again. "For this place to be set up and for you to visit here. It being just us."

"Ne- Nerrocan!" you protested, bracing your hands against his shoulders. It was foolish to think you could lift him off you. Nerrocan's head dipped lower and lower, driving between your collarbones and your breasts, the feeling of his breath pervading even your clothes and tingling over your skin. His hand slid out from beneath you, and you saw your chance of slipping upwards and away. But the second you moved, his palms closed around your sides, holding them firmly in place and tugging you back down again beneath him. 

"Nerrocan, stop!" you said more firmly this time, and he stilled as if snapping out of a trance. 

"Why?" he asked, looking up again. This time, his expression seemed hurt, as if you denying him this was causing him physical pain. 

"We aren't the same species! We can't do this!"

"We can," he replied without hesitation.

"They told me it was possible. That if I prepared you well, you'd be able to take me. It's okay to mate with a human, they said."

"They? Who told you these things?! How would that even work?! Do you even know what that means?!"

Panic raised your voice, and you watched his expression change briefly. Perhaps the sound disturbed him, or he was questioning what either of you knew, but eventually, he simply replied, "The other humans. Those with the white clothes," and it dawned on you. While you thought you had things under control, the other researchers started feeding Nerrocan a very different narrative. One where all of this was normal. One where he could do as his nature demanded. 

And when you didn't react fast enough, nature won over him. 

One hand retracted from the side of your body, reaching down between your legs and settling right against your pussy. You squealed as a bolt of surprised arousal drove through your body, Nerrocan rubbing his dangerously clawed finger up and down your slit. Immediately, you shut your legs around his wrist, but it did nothing to stop him. Instead, it made your pussy grind upwards into the touch, and you bit your lip. 

"It's- It's not right!" you stammered, reaching for his hand. 

"But you smell so good. You came here to mate, claim my cave as yours. That's a sign, right?"

"N-No! I didn't! I never intended to claim this place or you! Stop smelling me!"

"It's tough," Nerrocan admitted, gulping while his finger worked a unique magic on your cunt. He could move his joints much like a wave, teasing your clit at one point and your entrance at the next. Together with the friction of the wetsuit it was a deadly combination. Yet, you didn't want to dwell on it, feeling the treacherous heat spreading through your body. "Every inch of you smells so good, mate."

His head reappeared in front of yours, his massive form crushing as if he was going to swallow whole. Nerrocan's eyes were lidded, dark dots one could get lost in, but as if sniffing wasn't enough, his tongue suddenly slipped out of his mouth, dragging from your jaw to your cheek bone. You'd never taken much note about how long it was until he was licking you, making you feel even more like a delicious snack rather than a respected friend. This was getting out of hand, and you had to do something fast!

"Nerrocan, we can't– Mmpf!"

Not giving you the chance to finish the sentence, Nerrocan slipped his tongue between your open lips, his mouth crashing down on yours while his fingers stopped for a brief moment. He dipped deeply into the kiss, filling you with his tongue and breath, both hot and relentless as they explored every inch of your mouth. Your head was spinning with how much Nerrocan there was and how little of you. But even when you tightened your grip on his shoulders, nails digging into them, he didn't let off, instead picking up the teasing with his finger again, although his movements were rougher now than before. It felt like he was desperate to make you agree with him, however he had to. Perhaps those were his instincts taking over again, forcing him to claim his mate however possible, but it didn't help you at all. 

Shrieking into his mouth was all you could do as his other hand furled inwards, claws snagging at your wetsuit and running over your back. The sting revealed the damage to your skin, yet the fabric ripping was what horrified you. Pulling your head back, you tried to escape, tried to appeal to his reason, but Nerrocan followed every one of your movements with the precision of an instinctual predator. 

All this time, you tried to assure yourself it wouldn't happen. That you two were better than the vulgar things the researchers had told you about. Just because some caretakers had intimate relationships with their protégés didn't mean it had to happen to you two! You thought you were better than this! That you could make it without crossing the line between two species…

You should have listened to your gut telling you to run a few minutes ago.

Because now you were stuck.

The sound of a big chunk of your wetsuit tearing, pulled you out of your spiral of misery. The hand that had fondled you through the fabric slipped into the tear, going straight back between your legs even though you shut them tight. However, your strength was nothing compared to Nerrocan's, and he easily reached his goal with the sheer mass of his palm. 

You wanted to yell at him, insult and tell him how dare he did this to you, but instead of your anger, an unwelcome moan slipped from your tongue over his. Immediately, it was answered by a rumble from his throat. Nerrocan's tongue kept assaulting your mouth, flopping out whenever it became too much to lodge it inside you, all while he was prying open your lower lips, coating his hand in unmistakable arousal. Even though your body's reaction wasn't your fault, you felt ashamed of the squelching and sloppy sounds coming from above as well as below. 

It also made you wonder if Nerrocan knew what he was doing. Because you did, but only to a certain extent, and if you both had no idea, that could be deadly. 

With all your strength left, you finally turned your head, signaling the kiss to stop. Nerrocan was like a truck, speeding through this process as if he had something important to deliver. But at the same time, he was crushing you with his instincts that were driving him wild. It almost seemed too late to stop, but you had to do all you could to tell him how you felt and how this wasn't right. 

"I can't!" you gasped, coughing really hard once his tongue had pulled out completely. "I can't take you! It won't fit! I never… I've never done this before!"

Nerrocan said nothing, the silence stifling. What was he thinking? Did he understand what you meant? Would he stop now? His finger ceased moving, although his palm kept cupping your pussy, completely covered in your slick by now. 

"I am… your first," he finally said, but it didn't sound like a question. "No one's ever touched you before."

Heat rose to your head as he spoke it out so clearly. Hiding your face with your hand, you whispered, "No," hoping this would finally deter him. But when you snuck a peek through the gaps between your fingers, all you saw was a mysterious glint in his eyes, and the next thing you heard was a deep rumble resonating through the whole cave. 

"I'll take such good care of you," Nerrocan said solemnly, his free hand falling to your head and brushing back some of your hair. He kissed the top of your head multiple times, muttering promises like, "You'll lack nothing, my mate," in between kisses. It didn't seem like he had any intentions to stop, you realized, if anything, this had turned him on even more.

"That's not what I meant!" you protested, but he wouldn't listen. His hand between your legs tensed, pressing outward, the fabric giving way quickly and exposing you completely. 

"I'll make you happy, I promise."

"What?! No!"

Panicked, you tried to sit up, only to brace your arm against Nerrocan as he began to move. His weight could crush you, so you had to relent when he rolled onto his chest, hovering above you. Your legs spread outwards to accommodate his tail between them, and Nerrocan crouched a bit higher to line up your hips with his. Still, he was arching his back, keeping his head close to yours. 

Even though you found hold on his body, no amount of strength could push him away. Horrified, you looked down between your legs, watching as the tip of his cock pressed out of the slit on his tail, and before you knew it, the massive shaft emerged completely, already twitching as beads of precum ejected from its tip. 

"That– That's not possible! We can't! I absolutely can't!" 

"You'll do well, mate. I believe in you. I know you can take me, relax."

Lining up his tip to your cunt, more precum bubbled from his cock, the fluids almost as heavy as the air suddenly felt. You'd be fucked to death if he managed to get this monster cock inside you. This was it. This would be the end. And all because you hadn't been more careful, didn't keep your distance like you should have. Trusted him. 

"No, no, no, no…" you mumbled, looking up and giving Nerrocan one last fearful look, which he reciprocated immediately. However, instead of understanding, all you saw was desire in his eyes. Lust, pleasure, want. Nerrocan couldn't be reasoned with, not when he wanted to spear you on his cock and use you as his toy to satisfy his needs. You didn't believe he truly thought of you as a mate. A mate would take care of the other, right? Help them get through these situations that made them anxious and afraid! But he was doing the complete opposite, not even giving you a chance to safe yourself. 

With a pained groan stuck in your throat, you felt his cock move slowly inside you, prying open your walls. The preparations had given him a small chance to penetrate, but your hymen was tearing just from inserting the tip. Nerrocan, too, took a sharp breath, feeling your tightness as he nudged his shaft inside with small pushes, and already, you could take no more. Nerrocan was going to ruin your poor pussy, and take your first time as if it belonged to him. 

"It hurts!" you whined, tears shooting into your eyes as the pain was threatening to overtake you. 

Immediately, the merman sprang into action, leaning down, kissing your forehead and face, chirping encouragingly between his sentences. Every time he pushed, a new praise fell as a reward. "You're doing so good," he muttered as you shrieked, his bulbous tip reaching its biggest point. Worse was yet to come, but it hurt like hell. You knew that in a matter of a few pushes, Nerrocan would take your virginity and your pussy for his own pleasure. There was absolutely nothing you could do, and it made you despair. 

You clung to him desperately, no deep breath helping you relax. "You can do it; look at you taking me," he tried to soothe you, but there was no chance you could do either. You didn't even want to see him getting inside you, much less experience it. But Nerrocan left you no choice as he advanced. With one rough push, he finally breached the abilities of your pussy, and it gave way to him much too easily.

Your back arched, voice getting stuck in your throat, and you blacked out for a short moment as your hymen tore. The pain of his massive cock taking your first time was too much to handle, but after Nerrocan let out a guttural moan, more juices mingling inside you that were probably equal parts yours and his, he pulled his cock out again before jutting it back into the same place and shaking you awake. 

Even though it felt like a nightmare, it was very real and frightening, especially as Nerrocan advanced. 

"That's it," he praised, kissing the top of your head. "You're doing so good, my mate, just a little more."

There were more words, but you could barely register them as you felt your walls spread impossibly wide around his shaft, his cock pulsing and throbbing inside you as if to make more space for itself in a completely cramped place. It still felt impossible, but Nerrocan managed to keep digging inch by inch, spreading and claiming more of your pussy for himself. Nerrocan kept trilling next to you, working his shaft back and forth to ease it inside, and you were stuck between helplessness and feeling your body slowly adjust. The idiotic thought of "maybe I am made for this" came over you as you felt the tears spilling from your eyes, allowing you to realize it wasn't supposed to be like this at all. 

But here you were, betrayed by your only friend in this strange life you were thrown into, allowing him to call you his mate and fuck you with his big, monstrous cock. You had screwed up, that much was sure, and you didn't know if you'd ever recover from it. Especially not when instead of a scream, another moan escaped you, the moment Nerrocan finally had used up all the space inside of you to claim you. 

You sounded so heavenly. 

Not only that but your scent, body, everything about you was perfect. The researcher told me that the moment I got to claim you would be the most wonderful thing I ever experienced in my life. And for once, they weren't lying. You smelled heady, the air around us filling with the scent of your need. A need for me. Finally, you wanted me, too, taking me and uniting us as we should be. This was what mateship was all about, the feeling of belonging together, both body and mind.

It was exhilarating.

Your body wound itself beneath me, squeezing and moving around my cock that I finally filled you with. You said you couldn't take it, but you did. My mate. My perfect, beautiful mate, your eyes dazed and filled with tears as I bucked my hips forward gently. You made the most adorable gurgles, biting your lip, although I would have preferred to hear all of your voice, you really didn't have to hold back. Surely, you, too, must have felt the bliss of our union, the beautiful play of our bodies?

And even more exciting than that, you gave me your first time. Your insides were shaping themselves around my cock, learning to accommodate it despite the tightness. Yet, you did so well taking every inch of me, your beautiful thighs pressing against the sides of my tail, keeping me firmly situated inside you. Our mateship must have been meant to be if you waited for me to come into your life before giving me your new, beautiful pussy to mate. To fill, to breed.

Sinking my hands into your hair, I couldn't help myself from pulling your head back, exposing your throat, the most vulnerable part of your delicious body. The slight smell of blood coming from your cunt only made my cock twitch more, tingling all the senses of a hunter. I wanted to bite you so badly, taste your blood on my tongue, and coat my teeth with it that it hurt. There was way too much of your body still covered, even though we had no need for clothes any longer. I almost felt resentful towards the fabric covering you, denying me the view of the most beautiful treasure of this world—you. 

I had waited too long for this moment to not leave my mark on your body as I should. 

If you were to get lost, anyone should know who you belonged to. Whose fangs they'd have to go against to claim you in the same way I had. As if I'd ever lose a fight when the prize was my mate and the right to keep calling you that. I didn't fight, hunt, and train for so long that just anybody could waltz in and take you from me now. 

"I'll be gentle, I promise" I murmured, driving my lips over your shoulder. It was the perfect place, above your heart, next to your throat. My face fit nicely in the curve between your neck and arm, as if this spot was made for my mark. Perhaps, you were. Made for me, that is. I had never seen someone rouse as many emotions in me as you did or induce this constant, mind-numbing heat that I was acting on now. With your pussy around my cock and my teeth about to sink into your body, I was the closest to you that I ever had been, and there was no place I'd rather be. 

My throat rumbled in contentment, my whole being agreeing with the thought of marking you. Lips splitting, my teeth were ready to punctuate, to clamp down, to tear. But I wouldn't treat you like that. I'd only taste the sweetest prey I had ever encountered. I wouldn't linger, wouldn't hurt you more than necessary. Hurt, it would, so I fastened the pace of my hips, distracting you with the added friction until you were whining softly with every push. It was adorable when one of your hands clung to my arm, digging your puny little nails into it. But I hoped it would scar. That you'd mark me just like I would, you. 

Which gave me the idea to cup your face, prying your mouth open by pushing a finger between your blunt teeth. The damage would be small compared to mine, but it was only right you got the same chance as I did. With all the preparations done, it was time to claim you. I knew it was meant to be, and yet, I hesitated because of the thought of hurting you. But I had to believe in myself. I knew I'd never cause you great harm. I could control the urges and stop when it was necessary. You and I had been through worse together; we'd also get through the stages of mating. 

At least, mating was more pleasurable. 

"Shh, it's okay, I'll be gentle," I repeated softly, hearing how your breathing turned unnaturally fast after seeing my teeth. A shudder went through you, and I couldn't help groaning as I felt it around my cock, too. Your voice grew louder, vibrating against my finger, but I gave it no heed. Resting my lips on your body, I took one more deep breath, soaking in the scent of your body, your arousal, the tinge of blood I had smelled before. 

Delicious. 

And with that, my teeth opened, sinking deep into your flesh. The fabric covering you was no more a hindrance than uncovered skin, giving no resistance. But my tongue immediately went to lap up the droplets of blood that formed around my teeth, a strong, desirable taste filling my mouth. Together with the smell of your body they completely fogged my mind, my hips snapping forward harder as your cunt tightened around my cock, reluctant to let me go. 

Was this it? The sign that you were cumming? Would I be the first orca to take and claim his human mate in every aspect? A guttural groan resonated through my body, my pace growing harder. I knew it instinctively, it was a mating call. We were now bound to each other. There was no more space to stuff my cock into, but I still hadn't had enough. Gripping one of your beautiful thick thighs in my hand, the flesh so soft and pliable in my grasp, I adjusted our position and brought us even closer together. Our size difference was but a small obstacle when it came to mating, and I was determined to make up for it with my strength and skill. 

I had barely heard the first scream you let out when I bit you, much less the beautiful symphony of moans and cries that my finger muffled. Blood coating my tongue, my lips, my throat, I felt my cock swell inside you, the feeling eliciting another shriek against my finger. However, this time, I did notice it. You were biting down so hard as if your life depended on it. It was a cute effort, considering you barely broke through my skin, much less tore junks out of it like I wanted. I could feel your heartbeat in my mouth as it wouldn't stop hammering in your chest, and your pussy held on tight to my cock as I lodged it as deep as possible inside you.

I was going to fill you up to the brim. As much as your little human body could hold of my seed, I'd give to you and then some. Everything was perfect, the sound of your voice, the beating of your heart. The taste of your blood on my lips and the tightness of your cunt as I made the last few pushes towards my release. They promised everything would turn out well, but no one could have prepared me for how wonderful it was to finally be with you. 

Roaring wildly into your shoulder, my cock exploded. Little stars clouded my vision as I felt your body spasm beneath me, trying to adjust to the amounts of seed I was pumping in you. A small part hoped it would take root inside you. Would make you round and full with our calves, and I got to care for you throughout the whole pregnancy. Even if this was our first time, I couldn't help but want to breed you to the point you'd be unable to walk on your own anymore. I wanted you to depend on me, lean on me, letting me do everything for you while you created our beautiful little babies. The product of our love for each other. We'd be a perfect little family; nothing could take this from me. 

We'd have to wait and see, but I couldn't wait for the day to come. 

As fast as it had happened, it was over. My cock was still splurting more cum inside you, but you laid limply beneath me, your own orgasm having taken all your energy out of you. I unlocked my jaw as slowly as possible. However, it made a slight jerk despite my best efforts. But my teeth were finally pulling out of your flesh, leaving only the beautiful marks of our mateship behind, bleeding and sullying the bed, which I more than welcomed. 

You groaned, and I finally pried my finger out of your mouth so I could listen to the sound. Your eyes were unfocused and dull. The intensity must have taken a toll on your strength, but you were no less beautiful, your belly swollen with my seed, and your body marked and satisfied. 

"You did so well," I purred, giving you small chirps to ensure you'd understand my sincerity. Not everyone could have done so well, but my mate. My mate could. You were beautiful, perfect. Made for me, for our family. I had regretted it many times to have brought you to this place, but just as often did I think it had been the right choice. Now, we were inseparable, and I felt more validated in my choice. 

Slowly, I pulled back my cock, your pussy making it hard to exit with how much it clung to me. All while cooing and kissing your face and your body. Already, I felt myself grow hard again, my cock barely able to retract into its slit with how massive it still was. There were still so many things I wanted to do with you. The thoughts of marking other places like your breasts and those delicious thighs were driving me insane with their allure, but I stayed strong for you.

It's what we did for the people we loved, and right now, you just needed me to hold you as your body tried to come down from the height and adore you like I always did. The humans called it "aftercare," and I listened closely to their tips, although I couldn't bring myself to fetch some food and water for you yet. Not when you were curled so adorably in my arms, my hand on your swollen belly, making it easy to imagine what it would be like if you were carrying our little pup inside you. I did feel spent, ready to take a long nap by your side, but not before I made sure you were settled in comfortably, your eyes still wide open as you lay limply on my bed. 

Even if this was only the first time, it had made it all worth it. All the pain and suffering, all the fear and traumatic experiences. The fights, the humiliation. Now that I had you by my side, able to call you my mate completely without any doubts, it had been worth the troubles. It would be worth anything that may come in the future as long as I got to hold you again like this, fill you with my seed, and forget everything else that was happening around us. It had taken so long until we finally got this space we could call our own. Decorate, be together in, share love. This was where only we existed, and I couldn't wait to see what we'd do with it in the future, but I knew it would be great. 

And no one would get in the way of our happiness, even if you still had doubts.

You let out a quiet shudder, feeling Nerrocan's hand combing through your curls, ruined and messy from what had just happened. It still felt like you were waking up from a nightmare, but the pain had always been there. Both your shoulder and your pussy hurt. You felt the semen run down your lower lips and coat your thighs. Every time Nerrocan rubbed over your belly, another spurt of his jizz shot from your hole, and you felt degraded and disgusted with the feeling of semen sloshing in your womb. It wasn't possible to get pregnant, right? Was it? They were half human-like… that didn't mean you two were compatible, right? 

Tears filled your eyes as you couldn't help sobbing out loud. The bitten shoulder had no strength to pull up your arm so you could muffle yourself and the other was almost as dead still from the shock. Even though it hurt, even though you didn't want it, eventually, pleasure caught up to you, making you cum on his huge, massive cock as if you wanted it. It had felt good every time the pain vanished. And even now, Nerrocan was purring and chortling, soothing the pain in your soul even though he had torn it apart. 

You'd never be able to trust him again. To work with him even. You'd have to find a new purpose in this facility, but something inside you told you they wouldn't let you. This would be your new life, and you'd have to adjust to it to survive. It was unfair. Painful. You wanted to hate him, yet you still couldn't because of all you two had been through and all he continued to do for you. And although it wasn't right and should have never happened—not like this, at least—you could also understand him to a degree that it was the comfort Nerrocan needed, even if he made it seem like you did, too. 

"We're going to have such beautiful calves. You'll be such a good mommy," he praised you, and you sobbed out loud again, taking a deep, unbelieving breath. This couldn't be real, it was just too cruel. 

Nerrocan kissed your forehead, cradling your back further against his chest, his cock having slipped back into the slit, and you were thanking any god that was listening for that. You couldn't take any more fucking than that, and you'd never come down into his nest again and indulge him like you had that day. He had already ruined to much, destroyed your body and the relationship you two had. 

Moving you only made you feel more of the cum spurting from your pussy, coating you both as you whimpered, and Nerrocan trilled excitedly. "We're going to make so many babies!" he announced, and you wept, the image alone too hard to handle. 

"You did so well, today, my mate. I can't wait for the next time," he whispered into your ear, kissing your temple all the way down to your jaw. Every bit of adoration, praise, and intimacy appalled you, and you turned your face away, wanting to grieve your innocence and stupidity as you swore to never allow a repeat of what happened. 

"I'm not your mate," you slurred as the exhaustion hit you hard. Even in this situation, dangerous as it was, your body still felt safe enough around Nerrocan to sleep. Traitor, you thought as your eyes closed. 

"Yes, you are," he replied softly, noticing your drowsiness as he placed an arm beneath your head, cushioning it. Ironic, wasn't it? Luckily, you were already asleep when he spoke up again, able to preserve the last bits of your sanity from being lost forever.

"I'll do everything to change your mind."

[flowersdiceandlove]

Inspired by @sunderwight cosplaying Shen Yuan posts

No transmigration. cumplane.

People obviously take pictures of him when he goes to cons and posts them. They get a lot of attention. People are always in awe at the accuracy and amazing quality of his costumes. The people he commissioned them from get a lot of business afterwards. He pulls off the crossplay really well because of his pretty face and slim body. He just has to add padding in the right areas and learn makeup from his meimei and online tutorials. Sometimes people really can't tell he's a guy it's so good. Especially his Liu Mingyan cosplay that he does the most. She's his favorite of the wives after all and one of the few he thinks close to worthy of Binghe. He's done multiple different outfits for her. He never cosplays Luo Binghe, though. He doesn't think he could pull it off, Binghe is just that amazing. (But obviously he can pull Binghe's peerless beauty wives off.)

His PIDW cosplays make their way to the forums and people talk about them. It is a known fact in those forums that Peerless Cucumber will roast them to hell and back for their inaccuracy and shoddy craftsmanship. So, it is very strange that he never comments on these cosplays. Yes, they're amazing, but surely Peerless Cucumber could find at least one thing wrong with them. Eventually someone tags him in the comments or makes a post asking about them. He replies with something like "I'm the one who designed those. do you really think I would go out like that without them meeting my expectations?" but with more scathing remarks and saying he's not like the others who are fine with cosplay inadequacy.

That spurs many people to go look back through all of this cosplayer's previous cosplays, not just the ones from PIDW, and collectively think "oh wow, he's so pretty." It's a total shock through the entirety of the PIDW forums and fandom. They all thought Peerless Cucumber was some ugly dude behind a computer screen. They're a mix of feeling bad about themselves because when Peerless Cucumber tore them a new one in the forums they comforted themselves with thinking "You're just like us! Just some dude reading trashy novels! Nothing special! You're just mean cause you have nothing going for you!" and also the Peerless Cucumber fanclub growing because he is just that pretty and going feral over it.

His gender comes into question because a good number of people are convinced he's actually a girl. When he catches wind of that he responds with "Of course I'm a guy you idiots!! WTF!? Have you gone blind after reading all of Airplane's stupid writing!?" He's giving gender envy to a lot of people.

Some people are still unconvinced that the cosplayer is actually Peerless Cucumber because how can someone that pretty be Peerless Cucumber? They think he's just trolling everyone or something.

In the newest arcs of PIDW some very pretty ladies with cutting words and biting insults and criticisms are introduced. The ladies all have very high expectations of what their spouse should be like and have turned away every man seeking their hand in marriage. Of course when Luo Binghe enters the scene he meets all their expectations and requirements and sweeps them off their feet. A lot of readers who are keeping up on the Peerless Cucumber cosplay saga make the connection. Shen Yuan does not, and tears the new wives apart about how mean they were to Binghe at first, and then about how weak and pathetic they are, and then their clinginess, and so on. With every new day, Peerless Cucumber's criticisms are rectified as the arc continues, but he always finds something new wrong with the women. The other readers have varied reactions to this development. Some think that Peerless Cucumber should just shut it and let the Great God Airplane do his thing. Some of the people who Know about the cosplay saga and made the connection just want this time of Airplane making Peerless Cucumber into one of Binghe's wives to be over because this is a stallion novel. They don't want to read about Bingge seducing fem fantasy Peerless Cucumber. Just give them the normal women back. Other readers who Know are excited for the eventual sex scenes. Shen Yuan is just happy that his critiques are finally being taken into account, hoping that maybe at this rate Binghe will get an actually good wife and not just another useless beauty to throw into the harem garden.

Eventually Shen Yuan starts criticizing even the current to-be-wife's name, and so Airplane goes on and asks "Well what would you name her then if you've got so many ideas?" and generally just trying to bait him. It works, and Shen Yuan give a very beautiful name actually that fits her character and background. It is revealed in the next chapters that the name they've known her by so far isn't her real name and her actual name is the one Peerless Cucumber came up with.

The seemingly endless amount of chapters continues and the pretty but scathing wives get added to the harem and the story goes on. However, those wives get brought back out to go on adventures with Binghe and are otherwise reoccurring characters in the story. If one was paying close attention and looking for it, they would notice that the wife makes an appearance after Peerless Cucumber makes a particularly harsh comment or scathing criticism. People take to trying to bait Peerless Cucumber into doing it so they get more of those wives and especially the one he named which is becoming a fan favorite. Fanart gets made of her and people tease Peerless Cucumber about it. He critics all the fanart with his known ruthlessness about canon accuracy.

Some people have dropped it cause they don't want to see Peerless Cucumber get wifified any more, some people get even more invested because of that. A good number of people still don't think Peerless Cucumber is the cosplayer.

It comes to a head with an upcoming con in a few months. Airplane has a panel there. People are also asking if Peerless Cucumber will be going in cosplay. He says he's thinking about it and has some ideas on what character to go as, but is still deciding. Of course people instantly hone in on that and tell him he should go as the wife he practically made. He says no at first, but then Airplane comes on and says he'd really like to see him do that cosplay. Shen Yuan decides to take that opportunity. You see they have met, briefly, in the past at cons, but Airplane always finds a way to bail when Shen Yuan really starts laying into the critiques. Shen Yuan wasn't in cosplay those times and he had a face mask on so he wasn't recognized that way but no one could mistake Peerless Cucumber's reviews. Airplane also doesn't do cons very often, choosing to focus on writing the story instead.

And so, the following conversation occurs in the forum:

Peerless Cucumber: I will if you stop running away from me at cons.

RandomUsernameI'mTooLazyToComeUpWith: oh shit, oh great god airplane do it! do it!

RandomUsernameI'mTooLazyToComeUpWith2: yeah i gotta se this fuck itll be so hot

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky: you got a deal. you wear that cosplay and you can say whatever you want for however long you want. it'll even be in character.

RandomUsernameI'mTooLazyToComeUpWith: oh hell yeah!!! whooo!!!

Peerless Cucumber: You better mean that because I will bring printouts with notes and highlighted sections.

Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky: bring whatevr you want so long as you wear that cosplay.

With that, the PIDW fandom holds even more excitement for the upcoming con because not only with the Great God Airplane be there they'll also get a peerless beauty of a cosplayer in a sexy outfit. The wife in question's outfit isn't the most revealing of the wives because Peerless Cucumber always critiques the practicality of that, but it's still the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way so there is some skin showing.

The con rolls around and the PIDW fans are on the lookout for someone dressed as That Wife. For the first couple days, Shen Yuan makes rounds to booths, not in cosplay, getting merch and volumes as he goes because he has a lot of things to say to Airplane and wants to get the bulk of his shopping done first so they have time and he doesn't hold up the line of people to see Airplane.

On the last day of the con is when he dons his cosplay of That Wife and get his character-accurate bag with the printouts and evidence of Airplane's failing as an author in it. He still makes stops at other booths on his way to the official PIDW one. He gets stopped to take photos and gets compliments on his cosplay. Eventually the PIDW fans find him go even crazier about it. Some say things like "I can't believe it's really you!" and word gets around the PIDW fans that Peerless Cucumber is here and he is in That cosplay and he does look fucking hot. Shen Yuan stays in character of the icy beauty as he interacts with the fans which only fans the flames. Before he even makes it to Airplane's booth he gets swarmed with PIDW fans, some are mean to him and want to knock him off his high-horse, but they get a verbal smackdown from Shen Yuan (still in character) and shoved aside by his own fans who start calling out their online handles asking for Shen Yuan's honest thoughts about them. And he does so either tearing them apart with words, saying they honestly didn't leave enough of an impression for him to even know, and in very rare instances offer some praise.

Shen Yuan finally makes it to the PIDW booth Airplane is at later than he wanted, but he makes it there with an entourage wanting to see the showdown. There are also guys hanging around the booth who have been waiting for this. When Airplane finally sees Shen Yuan in his cosplay, he thinks "Fuck. He's even hotter in person." and is more than happy to listen to all of Shen Yuan's complaints and looking at the highlighted parts of his novel and citations showing how historically inaccurate that is and the discrepancies within his own body of fiction.

Shen Yuan is still going and isn't even close to being done when they announce that the venue is closing and asking for everyone to start making their way out. Shen Yuan glares up at the intercom, still wanting to continue his triad.

"Well, I did say you could keep going however long you wanted so long as you wear that cosplay. I didn't say it had to be at the con," Airplane says, and Shen Yuan looks at him with considering eyes.

"Hmm. That is true, and I still have a lot to go through..."

They end up going to a restaurant for dinner (Shen Yuan's treat), and Shen Yuan continues all through the meal. When he still has more to say when the restaurant says that it's closing, he gets the most expensive suite at the most high-end hotel in the area with his richboy money because that's the only room left with the con going on. Shen Yuan figures that after spending so much time with Airplane today (along with reading so much of his writing) he has a pretty good grasp on the guy and doubts he's gonna get murdered by him so gets the hotel room. Airplane is in awe at all the fancy shit and money that Shen Yuan spends like it's nothing.

They stay in the main living room of the suite where there are couches. Shen Yuan lays his printouts out on the table, and even pulls up webpages on the rooms tv. There are pjs among other items reserved for the high-end rooms. Airplane ends up changing into the pjs and marvels over them being silk. Shen Yuan ditched his shoes and some smaller parts of his cosplay, but keeps the bulk of it on due to the agreement. Despite the dinner, Airplane also snacks on the room's food while Shen Yuan continues his verbal assault.

At one point, though, Airplane interrupts Shen Yuan, clutching his arm, looking at him with tears in his eyes. "Bro... Cucumber-bro... You... You're like an actual angel, dude. I died and this is heaven."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Shen Yuan asks, annoyed at the interruption, he was just about to connect another point.

"The food. This room. The silk pjs. Bro. This is heaven."

"No it's not. And stop crying!"

"Bro..."

Shen Yuan ends up patting his back for awhile while Airplane cries on his shoulder. His hand migrates up to Airplane's head and pats his fluffy head of hair that is actually really soft (Airplane took a shower and made sure his hair looked good since he knows how scathing Shen Yuan is and hot he was gonna look in the cosplay).

They eventually start drinking a some of the alcohol in the suite's fridge, but don't get too drunk. Nothing really happens, but they do end up sleeping in the same bed and cuddling in it because they fell asleep while Shen Yuan was still criticizing him.

The next morning Shen Yuan finally can't take the cosplay and makeup anymore and takes a shower while Airplane sleeps in. Airplane wakes to the sight of Shen Yuan in a hotel bathrobe, finishing drying his hair with his glasses on(he'd been wearing contacts and only switched to his glasses late into the night), and the sunlight from the window shining on him.

"Oh, fuck," Airplane says, staring at him.

"What?" Shen Yuan asks, not sure why Airplane is staring. He's not doing anything weird! He's just drying his hair! There's nothing wrong with wanting a shower after being in that getup for so long! He's just a normal dude right now! What's with that blank stare!?

"It's not just the makeup..." Airplane mumbles and face-plants back onto the bed with a groan. Shen Yuan is left confused, but eventually throws a room service menu on the bed asking what he wants for breakfast.

Before his shower, Shen Yuan had called home and asked his family's butler to bring him a change of clothes because he doesn't want to put all of his cosplay back on. This is why, after breakfast, Airplane sees Shen Yuan dressed in another well-tailored outfit, this time much more modern and male, made up of pale greens and creams looking like he just walked off a fashion runway.

"Brooooo... How do people like you exist?"

They end up exchanging some contact info because even though Shen Yuan talked until they fell asleep, he still has more to say. Airplane does agree to listen and says Shen Yuan only has to be in cosplay for the really harsh stuff.

Clips fans had recorded of Shen Yuan's triad at Airplane at the con get circled around and the PIDW fandom is on fire with it. People are going crazy over it. Shen Yuan's Peerless Cucumber inbox gets flooded with people requesting different cosplays along with sexual jokes and comments. The next chapter of PIDW has a dedication at the top to Peerless Cucumber and thanks. The next arc in the story is about Luo Binghe getting stranded in a place where fighting is outlawed, without any money, strict societal structures, and needing to recover from a battle. The love interest who helps Luo Binghe in his time of need is the daughter of a very wealthy family who starts off as cool and astute that can give a verbal lashing better than anyone is slowly revealed to have a soft spot for Luo Binghe in his weakened state. She takes care of him and even takes to giving him gentle pats on his head. When Binghe ends up getting into a physical fight with one of the villains of the arc, she comes to his defense against the society's court vouching for his good character. They place him in her custody due to her family's good name and she sets him up in a lavish living space with anything he could possibly need. When they find out that the love interest has a younger sister only a few years younger and not just two older brothers, the fans think she's gonna get haremed as well, but, surprisingly, the little sister doesn't join the harem with her elder sister. Peerless Cucumber praises the decision to leave the little sister be, happy that Luo Binghe is finally showing discernment of who to let into the harem.

After a couple more arcs, Airplane posts a notice that says he'll be slowing the pace of updates as he starts planning out the arcs leading up to the end of the story and hopes his fans understand. While the updates do lessen in frequency, the word count of each chapter does not and the quality improves, plot holes being filled and storylines being flushed out.

Within a well-furnished and kept apartment in the city is where Airplane works on all of this having moved there on Shen Yuan's dime when Shen Yuan learned the reason for the atrocious writing was that he was trying to make money to live and had to pander to his readers. The fridge stocked and living space confirmed, Airplane is now able to actually write quality verse the quantity. He even has a brutally honest beta reader who seems to spend more time here than at his family's estate.

While Shen Yuan never says it, Airplane is pretty sure they're dating, even if they aren't that physical with each other other than Shen Yuan running a hand through his hair while he reads, leaning against each other, holding hands when their out "so they don't get separated in the crowd"(there is no crowd Cucumber-bro), a hug when meeting and leaving each other, and the occasional cuddle session when Airplane is having a Time of it or Shen Yuan is dealing with medical issues or Shen Yuan spends the night and they a share the bed. He feels this suspicion is confirmed when Shen Yuan introduces him to his parents and they ask Airplane to take care of their son. So Airplane takes to hugging Shen Yuan more and despite a little grumbling about clinginess, doesn’t stop him and will even pat his head or arm or shoulder or even hug back.

Once PIDW is completed after a harrowing four years, Airplane takes a break to plan out his next story then shocks everyone by writing a fantasy novel featuring two men as the main couple. The writing itself is so different from PIDW with well thought out storylines, character backstories, and complex characters and settings. It gets in the top five on the website it's posted on and Airplane even gets a contract with a publisher. Shen Yuan couldn't be prouder of him.

Shen Yuan still cosplays. He even commissions outfits to be made of Airplane's not yet published characters so Airplane can see how they look irl and Shen Yuan can prove a point that something is not realistic.

They also have a deal that if Shen Yuan is gonna give some especially scathing constructive criticism that Shen Yuan has to wear a cosplay of Airplane's choosing and stay in character for it. It's a good thing that characters that aren't afraid to give a good verbal beatdown are becoming a common occurrence in Airplane's novels.

[vasiliquemort]

~Commissions are open!~

- Bust of one character up to the chest: 60$ Background for busts is free to be added<з

- Portrait of one or more characters up to the waist: 70$ For background + 10 $ as base cost, prices over are determined by detailing. For each new character + 20 $

- Character (or several) in full growth: 80$ For background + 10 $ as base cost as well, prices over are determined by detailing. For each new character + 30 $

It could be such joy if you distributed this post - or even had desire to acquire something for yourself!<ззз

Below I have described in detail almost all the information that I could imagine as necessary, yet please do not hesitate to write for any reason in a private message or ask - it will be my absolute pleasure to tell or show you more, and I am always glad to have new delightful acquaintances!<зз

I do portraits in three formats - bust, waist-length and then full-length. They can be various in styling, therefore please pay close attention to the difference in the execution of these formats - the busts are always more detailed in the character's features, the atmosphere is more consistent in waist-length paintings, and full-length drawings are well suited to demonstrate clothing design or depicted scene.

I adore to experiment with styles and learn new tones of this craft - as each meeting is a start of something beautiful, and I desire to create art that is complex and multifaced, but to an important extend I should say that I do not feel comfortable to copy or imitate other's styles of execution and sensuality, and a lot of expressions and detailing in my work are sudden - art is an journey and yet I would love to share this journey with you;з

Cost of more complex and expressive pieces and backgrounds are increased by tips, which I express as an deeply loyal and tactful system - it is absolutely voluntary and happens only at the end of the project, so you have ability to define their cost to your feelings and abilities and nothing over that<зз

Also, if you do not have tumblr account or emailing for you is more preferable - you can also fill the commission form instead!<з

Oh!! And you have read almost everything! Thank you so much! And also there, under the cut, I describe the general process of work and how we pay. This is quite useful information for other questions that you may have if you desire to purchase my work, therefore I may advise you to take a look at it along;з

How do we work on an order?

Please feel free to contact me via Tumblr for any questions you may acquire! ~

After I discuss the content of the painting with the client and receive additional materials from them (a photo of the person I am drawing, or references that are close to what is expected of me), I start creating the first sketch.

In accordance with the request, I make a sketch of the future painting, which will contain all its important elements and an approximate color scheme (if any) that I will use. At this stage, you can freely make your amendments, and when the content suits you, I will ask you for an advance payment of half the cost of the work without additional prices of background or detailing.

After that, work on the portrait will begin. Its duration varies on several factors - to a greater extent on the volume and complexity of the work itself, as well as on my own workload with other projects.

After completing the portrait, I will send you its version in low quality- after you familiarize yourself with it (there is also possible some edits - of tones and color, elements of shading, character features and small details), and after you pay the rest of the amount, you shall receive the final result of our artwork! ~

[paintedkinzy-88]

I really hate to be this person, but my cat has to get surgery and the cost is really going to wipe us out, unfortunately, so…

I’ve been working on making a RedBubble for prints and such, and I’ll probably get stickers set up on Etsy as soon as I’m able to, but for now I set up a Ko-Fi for a sort of commission-like opportunity.

Until January 16th, I will draw a dragon design for a character of your choice for $25! Not like a full reference sheet, I wanna have the time to get to as many as I can if I need to, but still fully rendered like above. Dragons are the one thing I think I can draw consistently and repeatedly, so I’m sorry it’s nothing more broad! 😭

Rules are under the cut, PLEASE READ THEM before you do anything! ❤️ I am very new with this, so please be patient with me.

Link to my page is here, and I’ll put it on my Masterpost as well.

Thank you, whether you can donate or not. I appreciate all the support you guys have ever given me. (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

REQUEST RULES:

You can place your orders under the Requests section!

The listing will close after January 16th, 11:59 PM PST, and I set my max request slots to 15, so I’m not too overwhelmed lmao.

Leave your Tumblr account in the description box of the request, alongside the requested character, so I may contact you and/or tag you in the completed drawing’s post! If you want to remain anonymous, though, that is totally fine as well.

I will send updates/process pictures unless you tell me otherwise, or you go the anon route!

If you have a certain dragon character already in mind, want an OC done, or have any additional requests for the piece (pose, dragon type, any sort of design specifications), tell me in the instructions! There should be a section for images as well. Or you can message me here, of course!

I WILL be posting every finished piece here, unless told otherwise!

If you do not send specifications, I will design the dragon(s) as I see fit to the character! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I cannot promise any kind of time frame for when the drawing will be complete. I do have other things that take up my time. I will try to complete them ASAP!

Should you want more than one character in the same shot, I’d say it’s an extra $10 for each additional design (in the listing). But, if you want each character on their own page, that is a separate order, $25 each.

These are for fully rendered pieces in my style, no backgrounds, and no reference sheets. If you want other options for cheaper, like just a colored sketch, message me first and we can talk about that as well. :)

Depending on how this week goes, I may choose to do this again in the future with more formality and flexibility! This is just a bit of an emergency. ;w;

Message me/send an Ask if you have any questions!!

The Ko-Fi also serves as a sort of tip jar, should you simply want to donate a $5 coffee instead. By all means, if you cannot or don’t want to donate, PLEASE don’t. I just don’t really know what else to do. :/

The above image is one of the designs I made for Ink in UTMV. Further examples of my work are below!

(Note that the drawings will be more like these first two examples!! For price reference, the two characters would have been $35, and the five $65)

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hello there! Do you have any tips for 'kill your darlings' and what kind of scenes to cut from a story? Anything in particular to look for?

"Kill Your Darlings"

The phrase "kill your darlings" is one of the most parroted yet least understood bits of writing advice. Writers too often take this advice to heart, believing they must go through their story and eradicate anything they deeply love... and that's not just immensely stressful--it's wrong.

"Kill your darlings" just means "don't let yourself be so blinded by love of something in your story that you don't realize it doesn't belong." In other words, you may really REALLY love your protagonist's best friend's quirky girlfriend, but what does she actually contribute to the story? What role does she play that's so important that taking her out would make the story fall apart or diminish the reader's understanding of setting, circumstances, character, or plot? If the answer is, "Well, she doesn't really contribute anything other than a little humor. But there are other characters who provide that. If I take her out of the story, nothing changes. The story still works, the reader's understanding doesn't suffer..." Bad news, this character is "a darling" and she needs to be cut from the story. As much as you might adore this character, she's just taking up space on the page and in the reader's mind, which detracts from characters who are actually important.

So, that's what you look for... look first at the things you love best about your story (characters, moments, events, conversations, setting details, character details, descriptions--literally anything) and ask yourself, "Does this really serve a purpose? Is anything negatively impacted if I remove it?" And really, you should do this for every element of your story. It's just that it's most important with the things you love best, because those are the things you're most likely to think are working when they actually aren't.

And don't stress too much about it... Critique partners and beta readers will be sure to spot things that don't work in your story, so even if you miss some things, it's okay. They'll be caught.

Although, the truth of the matter is, if you let the protagonist's best friend's quirky girlfriend slip through even though she adds nothing to your story, as long as she doesn't get too much page time and wrestle the spotlight away from more important things, it's probably not going to ruin your story or the reader's enjoyment. It's just that you don't want too many unhelpful "darlings" running around in your story.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

Learn more about WQA

See my ask policies

Visit my Master List of Top Posts

Go to ko-fi.com/wqa to buy me coffee or see my commissions

[awhisperofbluevn]

Rules concerning asks

First of all, thanks to everyone who's been interacting on this blog ! I like taking time answering asks, and I'm just glad people are curious enough to ask for more ! It also helps me fleshing out the character and makes me think about things I haven't considered before, so it's great !

I've been gaining more asks and I realized I should have set rules to keep it easier to manage, so please read before sending an ask :

Keep it SFW. As of now, everyone's been amazing with this, but I still have to mention it. I'm open to questions featuring injuries, death, or general questions related to merfolk habits as long as it's nothing graphic.

Keep it to one question, two if it's directly related to the first one. I don't mind recieving multiple asks. I'll eventually make an F.A.Q. masterlist in the pin post so people can check if their answers have already been answered. It'll be easier to redirect people if there's only one question per ask instead of a whole list they'll have to go through.

Don't request drawings. I don't take requests, those take too much time. I'll draw something if I feel like it. If you want me to draw something, my commissions are open via Artistree.

I won't roleplay as the merman. I know some blogs do it, but first, he can't talk, second, I honestly am unable to roleplay at all. I'll only respond in his stead.

Now, don't worry if you've already sent an ask that doesn't respect one of those rules, you're fine. I'll still answer it because you couldn't know. That's more of a message for future asks since I realized I needed to set some rules for things to go smoothly. It's my first time using Tumblr, so I'm still learning. I'll try to be more proactive from now on.

But starting from this post, if I don't answer to your ask, it's because it doesn't respect one of those rules above.

I may add new rules later if necessary, but for now, that's all !

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

(image description: a digital drawing labeled "making humanoids less human" with secondary captions on each side that say "alternate evolution" and "exaggerated features". above the secondary captions, there are two portrait sketches of very humanoid characters. on the "alternate evolution" side is an elf man with long dark hair. on the "exaggerated features" side is a woman who could be a nature fairy or a dryad, with flowers in her hair.

below the captions, these two characters have been redrawn to match their categories. the elf man has been redrawn with features more similar to a monkey, such as a very flat elongated nose, a small chin, and ears that sit higher on his head. the dryad or fairy woman has been redrawn with huge eyes and angular features, turning her hair with flowers into whole leafy branches with flowers. end description.)

hi i'm still around and i am finally caught up on things in my life, so i have time to catch up with this blog and all the questions people have asked! starting with a very old one. or several.

I had multiple anonymous messages asking me how I would draw specific fantasy beings to be less human, including witches of various elements. Rather than trying to answer each of them individually, I thought it would be more effective and helpful to talk about the general idea of taking fantasy designs that are usually more human looking and changing them to be less human. My favorite option is the alternate evolution, which I have been working and working on with my own fantasy people species.

Elves in particular have been a struggle, because I chose to keep my elves as a type of primate. It's been rough trying to abandon the recognizably human parts of their design and further embrace the simian features, because my brain does still have an internal bias towards the standard "elves are humanoid but more beautiful" trope. But I think I'm finally hitting the right level of "monkey" in their design.

The other option shown here is one I just don't do much, and which could be even further exaggerated into the uncanny valley. Take your humanoid characters and just shove them into the uncanny valley, exaggerate their features, add new things that have nothing to do with speculative evolution and just help emphasize the unique traits you want them to embody. elemental witches who become more and more fused with their element. nature beings like dryads that really just look like they broke out of the center of a tree. etc.

I'll make a few more posts with full body examples for both options, but I hope these portrait examples help a little!

remember, you don't need me to give you every detail of how your character and creature designs should look, and you don't need anyone else to do that for you either. If you want a particular artist to give you a specific design exactly as they would draw it, you ask about commissions and you pay them to do that design for you. this blog exists so I can post my ideas and give advice and occasionally nitpick about common mainstream fantasy design tropes that bother me lol. I'll give you ideas, but you gotta do the work yourself. that's how you improve.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! One about drawing, another one about Ortho, and then some other TWST ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hello Ryu! I hope you and Katsu are doing well. I wanted to ask you: how do you manage to post daily? what motivates you? I just admire how you manage to post quality content every day, I enjoy everything so much! and another question: how do you fight hand pain? I do draw daily, but I end up with hand/wrist cramps and it's worrying me, what would you recommend? Amazing art as always!

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words.

I actually talked about our motivation and the ungodly amount of sketches (lol) that I produce here! But in short, I’ve always loved drawing, and I spend the majority of my time drawing. Not everything that we post daily is new stuff: we have a big backlog of sketches, and Katsu helps me to manage it. Since I can focus on drawing and Katsu takes care of posting, it’s actually feels easier.

As for the second question, the most important main thing is PLEASE don’t overwork your hand! The moment you feel wrist cramps, take a break immediately, or if the pain is too much, better stop for the day, even if you really want to continue :( I am lucky to have pretty good stamina when it comes to this, but this is also partially because I stop immediately if I start to feel tired, plus never draw after my lengthy timeslot dedicated to drawing is over.

Here are a couple of more things that could possibly help:

Pay attention to the way you move your arm when you draw. Prioritise moving your elbow and using your entire arm instead of just moving your hand and wrist. Also try not to squeeze your pen too much, as it tends to make muscles tenser, at least in my experience.

Take short breaks every once in a while to stretch and do exercises for your wrist. These work nicely, but I also love to just… not do anything with my hand at all for like 5 minutes, to let muscles relax a bit.

If your muscles are tense after drawing, warming them up also makes it feel better. I just hold my wrist under warm water lol But there are better ways to do it.

Oh, and check if you do something else with your hand that might also put pressure on it during the day. If you use PC, for example, and sit in front of a desk, then your elbow should be on its surface (the reason for that is in my first point of this list), otherwise you strain your wrist muscles with that position. This is just an example, but it might help to find other reasons why your hand can be tired even before you start drawing. If not, that’s also fine! Drawing is hard enough to do that kind of damage on its own.

If nothing helps and you still feel cramps, you should of course talk to your doctor about it. Maybe they’ll have better advice than I do. Please be very careful with your hand, these muscles are not the ones that should feel slightly sore after a workout unlike a bunch of others, this strain (and pain) can do irreversible damage to your hand and should not be treated lightly. It’s better to take frequent breaks and draw later than to lose the ability to draw (and do other everyday things along with it) at all.

Take care of yourself, Anon <3

Anonymous asked:

wow a whole shroudcest ask post!!! kissing each of the askers consensual and platonically on the mouth, i love that y'all in this fandom. also agree, Ortho should use his beams as a treat when not allowed to join mature content that has first years, it makes me really sad for him!! Epel is super small and he gets to join????? sometimes he's even ''aged up'' (and stays short and small, i see that) lmao like what, Ortho can't be aged up too? the double standards are staggering

sometimes i assume he's just hard to draw, it's fair when mecha and armor are difficult for some people and i often see those two in won't draw lists in commissions, but also?? you don't have to draw when writing?? at least in writing, he should show up more, i'm doing my part at least in the orthoreader and orthooc tags on ao3. his crotch being bare is a feature, not a flaw.

(related to this post)

I am so happy and shocked that so many people wrote such long and lovely messages!! Everyone GETS IT…

Yeah, Epel also gets to join all the time, but somehow Ortho isn’t! This absolutely isn’t fair lol He would be super pissed about it.

I agree with you though that it is related to his design. Of course, the majority of people who complain about Ortho don’t even attempt to draw him as they aren’t artists, but I think a lot of aspects of his appearance are somewhat… “off-putting” to them? It feels like it’s a very strong word, but: his height, his “heels”, the waist and crotch parts of his gear, plus he isn’t very manly and ikemen-like, instead his appeal is that he is a cutie and sometimes a “kusogaki” type. This is why some people just don’t like him at all, and some people don’t like him and cover it up by saying “awww nooo he is just a baby, look at him, he is a kid right?”

I am happy you’re providing people with written Ortho-related content, Anon 💪 He would be so proud and grateful!

Anonymous asked:

Your chibi lillia just looks so adorable, he looks so chewable

Hehehe thank youuu!! Please chew on his chibi cheeks.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Have you seen the new design that was announced? (Trying to keep it vague in case people don't know which character it is, I don't want to ruin the surprise lol) From an artist point of view, what do you think? I was kind of disappointed by it… I'm not sure if it's Yana's design or not, her characters have so much personality but this one looks just… so generic? Love his suit, the glasses are a great touch to represent this character's eyes (orlackthereof) but everything else feels so uninspired in my opinion. I know this is the pretty anime boy villain game but this one is just too much of a pretty anime boy and I hate this fluffy pretty anime boy hair...

I have! And I will spoil it so please don’t read my reply if you don’t want to know who it is lol

To be completely honest, I am not sure what to think yet; I kind of want to see the full design and also to see him in action. He does feel very different from Rollo and Fellow&Gidel, and maybe this is one of the reasons why he might feel underwhelming: those guys have very colourful designs and a lot of accessories, plus somewhat clearer silhouette (Rollo’s hat is iconic, Fellow also has a hat and fox ears, and that makes them very distinct right away), and the new guy… it’s hard to tell yet, but I think it’s kind of difficult to make a skeleton design work on the same level both in terms of his monochrome colour scheme and the fact that he is, in fact, a skeleton-like creature.

I know there are a lot of jokes about Gojo that people make (I am one of those people), and I think that some people aren’t as excited for the new guy because of that (the feeling that we’ve seen him around a lot already, because young!Gojo was everywhere very recently). But I do agree with you: the glasses are indeed a very good touch and a very smart addition design-wise.

I am also personally excited to see Undertaker vibes from him, but that’s personal lol

So yeah, I’m not sure for now. I really want to see more of him before making proper judgment. I absolutely see your point though. I think if he turns out to be a fun character, his design elements will also become fun and enjoyable, just in a different way.

[ilreleonewikiart]

TDIOBCB ship challenge:

As the ones who follow me on Twitter know, after two months drawing canon stuffs, for this March I decided to use these prompts to make some fanarts of my fic.

This means that next month my art will be again internally about TDIOBCB and nothing else.

However, before starting posting about this new challenge, I think, considering the fact that not everybody who follows me had read my fic and the characters that will be drawn, to provide some specifics to avoid misunderstandings.

As you've understood, this new March 'challenge,' unlike the previous one, has nothing to do with Canon (either from the book or the TV series) and instead is completely centred on the pairs present in my AU fic 'TDIOBCB.'

This Fanfiction is in turn inspired by another fanfic, also AU Divergence: if you're curious about what these two stories are about, you can search for them on AO3. This means that many (if not all) of the couples that will be illustrated will have no logic to exist in the canonical world, in any possible way, yet in this completely nonsensical universe, they do.

Many of the characters and their partners may have undergone significant modifications from their canonical counterparts: for example, in this universe, Viserys and Larra are a real ship, which would be aberrant if they were the same characters from the books, but in this context, it's acceptable, given that the methods and premises of their union are 99% different from Canon.

The same goes for the ship Baela and Aemond, which makes no sense to exist neither here nor there, but here it has been done, albeit nonsensically, to give it a completed sense. There will also be many ships made entirely of my OCs, and others made from pre-existing characters and OCs.

Additionally, all these illustrations will be explicitly inspired by paintings, famous and not, with a strong use of tracing. I won't copy Line by Line these paintings, but I'll use them as models for compositions and poses, and all paintings used as references will be posted below.

I wanted to specify this because recently there has been 'a debate' within the artistic community of this fandom about tracing, so I wanted to clarify my intentions from the outset. I know that many disagree with this practice, especially if those who use it then pretend not to use it, but I have never hidden my use of reference images and, indeed, I have always published with great transparency every time-lapse of the works, never cutting any steps. I don't believe that tracing is evil or a cardinal sin, especially if it's used to assimilate and improve one's skills, but one shouldn't abuse it, and pretending not to know about it is tremendously dishonest. All my art teachers since high school have encouraged us to copy from classical paintings because they believed it would help us remember and memorize proportions, composition, and anatomy more effectively, but the underlying idea of this technique is that once everything is assimilated, one should stop and start drawing without it and not continue indefinitely. Furthermore, this becomes fraudulent if the illustrations you copy part by part are then sold. I haven't yet received commissions of this kind, and all the other illustrations where I've used tracing for poses or objects were all illustrations I did without receiving a penny and that I did for pure pleasure, but I assure you that if anyone ever offered to pay me to do an illustration, I would never dare to use tracing.

That said, the 'challenge' in question is something I want to do for myself, so I don't see anything horrible in getting help with some images that help me set up the composition, and in any case, I would post the entire process. Again, sorry for this immensely long and monstrously boring screed, but on Twitter, it's better to protect oneself in advance

[joyful-joe]

My 2023 art summary. Here's my written rambling thoughts of last year's progress: (spoilers: It's long)

In 2022 I posted about 37 art pieces, I wished I could've beat that record in 2023 but it ended up being about 30 art pieces including sketches. There are reasons for my slow output. A major one being I was focusing on finishing my vocational college which I succeed. The second reason is wanting to continue improving. I feel like each time make something it comes out better than the last one. I don't think that's true for all art pieces I made this year, obviously some are better than others in terms of quality. But I don't think I've ever had a moment were I thought (of a finished piece) to have gotten "worse" compared to previous pieces. I'm glad that I can still keep this positive mindset with me. Of course I couldn't improve that fast without the help on one good friend who helped me each time I got stuck. On one part it's amazing to have someone that's willing to help me even if it might be over done, but on the other hand I'm still trying to be more self reliant which atm I'm getting better at getting out of those situations myself. But occasionally there's nothing wrong to ask for a bit of help. Last reason was I got lost in what my goals were. This art blog started in February 2018, making it almost 6 years now. It started as being a motivational drive to work on art more (since it's been a long hobby of mine) and get better just like the other online artist I admire. Maybe dreaming if I ever got up there with the other I could earn money with doing what I loved. Of course that is still far out of my reach. Account growth has been pathetically slow in comparison to how we see others. But I feel like I have the right to complain of such thing. I know my faults, I'm not really consistent in what I draw and this year felt even more inconsistent. I don't keep up with trends or draw them cus in the end if I look back at them I would only feel shallow, cus it was obviously made to gather (potential) numbers and not be something I really wanted to do. I see other artist that draw way better than me and also under perform when it comes to notes/followers. So maybe it's a bit selfish to complain of such things. But going into the "screw those internet numbers" sort of lead me to ask "okay but why should I keep up? Why not go back drawing whatever and not bother posting it online?" and it goes on and on spiraling down. I questioned if this careless attitude is where I should really be going. That said internet numbers don't really affect me. It's not the end of the world if the fan art doesn't do good numbers. I already tried what I could to improve the number rate and going down this internet rabbit hole of how to get bigger numbers makes it all sound paranoiac (especially on Twitter). But overall 2023 made small achievements. Got at least 2 commissions, one art piece made it into the front page of Newgrounds, some artists I look up to followed me back, posts have gotten in general more attention than last year and the overall quality of my art has improved. It's not much but still small steps in achieving my goals. It's been a good year for me. I'll continue to draw till I drop dead. I'll continue to work on improving my art. I'll continue to explore new ideas even if they're small. I'll draw in different mediums, even if it doesn't help my consistency issues. That's just who I am. I don't expect many to read this but if you did, thank you for reading.

[aesethewitch]

Hello! I just want to let you know that I'm on mobile app and the link to your rules on the Free Tarot Friday post isn't working for me, it redirects me to the beggining of your blog 😭 the link on your pinned post does the same thing. I can't access your rules.

Accursed website!! Try this link: https://aesethewitch.tumblr.com/rules-for-tarot-readings

If that still doesn't work, they're copied below this read more:

Rules for requesting a free tarot reading are simple: 

Send an ask with your question or goal for the reading. Be as clear as you can, and be mindful of the things I won’t do, listed below.

Include your initial(s) and the initial(s) of anyone else involved. No zodiacs or anything else necessary. This is to help me organize my notes, since I record all readings, and to direct my thoughts.

Please mention if you are a minor so I know the sort of language to use with you. Advice/interpretation for minors is (and should be!) different than for adults.

(Optional) Include your pronouns and the pronouns of anyone else involved. This is so that I know how to phrase my reading respectfully. If you don’t, I’ll default to they/them. In this house, we respect ALL pronouns!

Be respectful. Only ask one question for Free Tarot Friday, follow the rules, and don’t be an asshole. Please also don’t trauma dump in my inbox. Remember that I’m a whole person and that I’m not your therapist. And unless we’re friends or have interacted before, don’t be that parasocial weirdo who makes me turn anon asks off.

Things I won’t do:

Yes/No questions, especially ones about love. Instead, try asking “What do I need to know about my love life?” or “How can I improve my situation?” You’ll get better answers that way. I can’t guarantee a clear yes or no. (I’ll sometimes accept yes/no asks if I can reword your question to a more open-ended question such as “How can I make this happen?” – note that these are free readings and I’m not going to bend over backwards to make your ask work because you didn’t read these rules.)

Readings about health or legal issues - trust me, you should talk to a professional about these things. This includes mental health! (General advice like “what can I do this season to keep my spirits up?” is okay – “when will I get better?” is not.)

Sexually explicit readings, including readings about first times, future sex lives, etc. I’d also rather not do “future spouse” readings, but I won’t refuse them. (See below.)

Future spouse/partner readings, in general. Nothing about where a future spouse is from, appearance, when you’ll meet, etc. I’ll do questions like “How can I attract a relationship?” or general love readings.

Anything that constitutes “mind reading.” This includes what people think about you, what people are saying about you, and similar questions.

Readings about celebrities, period. Especially ones that involve celebrities falling in love with you or someone else, but nothing about drama or scandals, either.

Readings on behalf of other people. (For example, “What should my friend do about this situation?” or “Will my sibling fall in love?” or “How does x person feel about y person?”)

Readings on past lives, “twin flames,” “soul mates,” and related concepts. Trust me, you don’t want my perspective on these if you’re in my inbox asking for information about these.

More than one card or and one question at once for free, unless you’re one of the lucky few in the Twitch chat on stream days. Exceptions for this are extremely rare and only happen if I feel the first card is incomplete. If you’d like a more in-depth reading, I have a variety of commission offerings over on my Ko-fi page.

Keep in mind I have the right to refuse to do any reading for any reason. Even if something isn’t explicitly listed here, if I’m not comfortable, if you’re rude, or if I just don’t want to answer a given question for some reason, I’m allowed to refuse. I’ll usually offer to let you send a new ask in these cases.

[xeymol]

Woah new pinned post jumpscare.

Hello I’m pie, you can call me whatever you want tbh. pie, xey, xeymol, weird void cup, whatever as long as it’s not mean i don’t care lmao

(Used to be known as SoggyMuppet)

Commission sheet

Some important information about me:

- i am EXTREMELY nervous and shy so I apologize if I tend to be awkward with any interactions with anyone

- I may be shy but I don’t mind getting asks, I actually kinda love getting them wither it be answering actual questions or getting doodle requests

- I absolutely love and adore making gifts for people especially if I consider them a friend so gifts for others should be a fairly common sight

- I tend to go for long periods of time without posting, it’s not because I feel I need a break or because I have artblock (may possibly be the case at some point actually) but it happens because I just have a genuinely hard time getting my ideas on paper

- if you ever want to send an ask but your Nervous or I seem scary please know I’m quite harmless and I don’t mind getting asks, it may take me awhile to respond but do know It’s nothing against you and I either just haven’t checked my notifications yet or I’m just taking awhile to type my answer (possibly also drawing something to go with it)

- I am extremely apologetic so I apologize if that gets annoying, I’m just a strong overthinker and I get overwhelmed by it easily which leads to me apologizing a lot for very small thingys

- unreasonably anxious and overly sensitive, if your going to be rude to me please at least be straight up, I can’t tell if or when someone is being jokingly mean and that causes me to overthink and become stressed

- I am very forgetful, some things leave my head instantly so I need to be reminded of things multiple times

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Random Info:

- my persona is some sort of Eldritch creature made of void with a cup for their head, their name is granola

- I absolutely ADORE birds, I can’t draw them for shit but I love seeing pictures of them

- I am not funny. my humor is absolutely horrible, I try to stay family friendly on here but an adult joke might slip sometimes, though I do cuss a lot so I guess I’m not very family friendly💀

- I genuinely do not make sense half the time and when I do it’s either weird or concerning, I’ll say shit like “holy shit Freddy fazbear in portal 2 real not clickbait?!?!?!?!“ or “will skin you alive then boogie on your corpse” and other strange shit, I have something wrong with me

- I have horrible grammar and spelling, autocorrect loves to fuck me over so I’m sorry if a sentence ever comes out wrong on accident

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

My main interests right now are:

- space

- horror/body horror

- making strange critters

- a few of my personal projects

- don’t starve/don’t starve together

- regretevator

- Roblox pressure

- animal crossing

- POKEMON‼️

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I usually make fanart for whatever fandom I’m in at the moment but there’s a rare chance I may share if stuff and or original story’s I’m working on, most of what I post is doodles but there is a rare case of fully rendered art. I might post kinda gorey or body horror and genuinely just spooky art one day and if I do I’ll definitely put a warning and try my best to tag it properly, I enjoy making sorta cutesy silly shitposts most the time and I tend to get sorta extreme with my facial expressions lol. I’ve been drawing for technically all my life really, I’m not the best but I’m very devoted to art and designing characters and story’s, my art tends to have heavy shading and overall a sort of dark atmosphere and that’s just due to my immense love for horror and spooky vibes

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Anyways that’s all I have for now, I’ll add to this if I ever have anything more I feel I should add

Goodbye for now, hope you have a lovely day/evening/night💕

___________________________________________________________________________________________________Commission status: currently open🙏

[addictedtostorytelling]

Thank you for your thoughtful answer about Abby Fisher! You sort of answered this in your original response, but if you wouldn't mind elaborating, how would you have written an arc like that? In canon, we see Sara connect to so many victims/survivors in a way that impacts her own mental wellbeing, and I am wondering what it might look like if that connection was maybe drawn out longer than the arc of one episode, especially because the Abby plot has all the holes you pointed out.

hi, anon!

unsurprisingly, my answer got away from me here, so in case you don't want to read this whole monstrosity, the tl;dr version is:

i'd move the storyline up, making both sara and the kid older when it took place. i'd also show their relationship develop in real time as opposed to inserting it into previously established narrative as a retcon. from there, i'd change certain details to make it more feasible that sara and the kid could stay in contact. finally, i'd put different kinds of narrative pressure on sara to make her more willing and able to open up to the kid regarding her own past.

much, much longer version after the "keep reading," if you're interested.

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so to start off here, let's discuss the background specs for this potential arc:

as mentioned in the previous post, i'm convinced this storyline would actually work better and be more viable if it were to take place with an older sara who had already "come out the other side" on her s4/s5 story arc and achieved some stability and healing in her life.

i just can't really see her being prepared to adopt a mentorship role for a vulnerable child probably any earlier than s6.

that said, i also think the most ideal time for the story to unfold would be sometime after her breakdown in s8/s9, as well.

for me, the real sweet spot with her would probably be in the s10/s11 range, when she is happy, settled, stable, and thriving (and also has some free time on her hands because grissom is living abroad).

i'm likewise of the opinion that the story itself would work better if we saw sara's bond with the kid in question develop in real time, as opposed to being told about its development long after the fact (and being asked to believe that sara has maintained this really significant and even life-changing relationship for the past ten years that we have nevertheless known nothing about until present).

along those same lines, i also think the storyline would work better if the kid in question were older than five years-old when sara actually bonded with them.

the kid can still be around early elementary school-age (between 5 and 8 years-old) during the commission of the original crime that puts them into contact with csi, but when sara finally gets to know them and adopts that mentorship role in their life, they should be older, between 15 and 18 years-old.

though i don't actually believe sara is bad with small children—again, i am the one writing a sprawling geek!baby au right now—i think the fact that she thinks she is bad with small children would make her reluctant to try to befriend one (see, for example, her protestations to grissom about taking care of brenda collins in episode 01x07 "blood drops").

that so, i tend to suppose she would have an easier time dropping her guard and bonding with a somewhat older foster child in the preteen to teen age group than she would with a literal kindergartener.

i also think that her dynamic with an older kid would just plain be more interesting than one with a younger kid (because older kids can be held morally and intellectually accountable in ways younger kids can't).

as for the kid's foster situation, i think that whereas episode 15x12 "dead woods" has abby fisher in a relatively new placement with foster parents who don't know her as well as sara supposedly does, in this scenario, it would work better to say that the kid had been in the current placement for several years and that their foster parents know them well.

since sara seemingly never experienced that kind of long-term stability in a single placement herself—according to her conversation with glynnis in episode 05x10 "no humans involved," she bounced around a lot—she might end up being a little bit weird and flighty about the kid's situation in an "i'm not quite sure how to relate" type of way that would make this whole scenario more interesting.

so then thinking of the scenario itself:

let's imagine this story as a three-episode arc (which i'm going to title the "memoriae sacrum" arc).

like i said in my other post, i'm not 100% married to the "foster kid realizes, ten years ex post facto, that their father was not in fact a murderer" storyline (particularly as i find it somewhat ham-fisted), but for the purposes of this thought exercise, we can more or less stick to those bare bones.

that said, one element from the original storyline we're definitely not going to retain is the part where they retconned the nature of sara's father's abuse from what we had always known it to be in earlier seasons.

episode 1

in real life, gary dourdan became a persona non grata at cbs after he left csi under unpleasant circumstances back in 2008—hence the reason why tptb at the show never brought warrick back even in flashback in any subsequent seasons.

that so, if these were "real episodes," there'd probably be no way to swing an appearance from him.

however, let's imagine this arc more like a fic, where we can play around with what characters we want.

so let's say that back in 2000 or 2001 or so, sara and warrick work an apparent murder-suicide case together wherein a father seemingly kills his wife and eldest child and severely wounds his youngest child, shooting them*, before dispatching of himself.

* i don't really think the gender of the kid would matter, so imagine what you like here. this kid can still be abby fisher or it could be anyone else. i'm going to use they/them pronouns in reference to the kid to leave the possibilities open.

whereas in the original case, the killings took place at a mountain campsite, let's say, in this one, they happen inside the family home (which makes them even more similar to sara's own family tragedy and also adds to the circumstantial evidence suggesting the father is the cuprit).

at this time, sara is still a csi level ii, so warrick, at csi level iii, is the actual lead on the case.

the youngest child's injuries are profound. however, when they do eventually come-to enough, warrick is able to interview them.

(sara plays no part in the interviews by her own choosing and never interacts with the kid herself at any point during the investigation.)

unfortunately, the kid is unable to provide any kind of useful information to warrick, as, at this time, they are very young and the situation is so traumatic that they simply can't recall much. they also may have sustained injuries during the attack which impact their cognitive abilities/memory*.

* whereas in episode 15x12 "dead woods," abby fisher is rather improbably shown to survive a close-range gunshot to the head with no long-term impact to her cognitive abilities, i think it'd be more realistic for injury to either be entirely noncerebral in nature or to result in some actual traumatic brain injury symptoms.

warrick being warrick bonds with the child pretty immediately—seriously: one of the joys of the early seasons is watching warrick interact with kids, like when he used to babysit lindsey willows or when he interviews suzy in episode 07x10 "loco motives"—and, as is often his wont with child victims of the crimes he investigates, gives his contact information to them and/or their new social worker, telling them to get in touch with him again in case they ever remember anything and/or even just want to talk about the case with him when they're older and interested in learning the facts.

however, in the absence of any testimony from the child which might suggest differently, the evidence in the case does seem to (more or less) indicate the father's guilt.

since the father is dead along with the rest of the family, there's no one to arrest, so, in consultation with grissom, warrick closes the case—a decision sara has no real reason to question at the time.

particularly as, even back then, as would be shown in the flashback scenes, the case does squeeg her out and somewhat trigger her, given its likeness to her own family history, and she feels like the sooner she can move on from it, the better.

fast forward to ten years later, to 2010 or 2011 (i.e., s10 or s11).

at this point, said surviving child, now an older teenager, appears in the lobby of the crime lab one morning at the tail end of the graveyard shift, requesting to see warrick.

of course, by this time, warrick is dead, so once it's determined what the kid wants—which is apparently to discuss their family's case—sara is summoned to meet with them, as she was the other investigator back in 2000/2001.

and let's say the detective on the case was ray o'riley, who is also, by 2010/2011, canonically deceased, so he's not available, either.

sara is, initially, shown to be uncomfortable at this prospect, citing the fact that she's not warrick and doesn't "have a way with kids" like he used to. however, since she is the only csi still working at the lab who has any direct knowledge of the case and its details—grissom signed off on it as supervisor back in the day, but of course he's no longer on staff—she's pushed into taking the meeting, never mind her objections.

here, i'm picturing ecklie being like, "come on, sidle, just deal with this. it was your case."

she initially tries to be very formal with the kid, but it should be clear to the audience that she's wildly uncomfortable and masking.

however, while her going line is that she's "just not good with kids," between the flashbacks and the real-time scenes, the true source of her discomfiture quickly becomes apparent: namely, the whole "orphan whose one parent killed the other in front of them" likeness between her and this kid in particular.

at first, she assumes the kid has come to the lab because, now that they are old enough, they want to hear the full details on their family's case, as per warrick's offer to them back in 2000/2001 (of which sara is aware because warrick wrote it on the business card he gave to the kid and/or their social worker back in the day).

however, to her great surprise, the kid corrects her: they've actually come to provide new testimony in their family's case, based on some newly retrieved memories of theirs.

much like in canon, they would explain that something had recently caused them to remember details about the murder they were unable to remember previously—and these details contradict the notion that their father was the murderer.

however, let's say that in this version of the story, this recollection on their part happens under even more dubious circumstances than the ones in abby fisher's case, like while the kid is under hypnosis or experimenting with hallucinogenic mushrooms or undergoing a controversial form of therapy or the like.

much as in canon, sara is skeptical, believing the kid simply wants to "rewrite their family history" (an impulse she understands but doesn't necessarily condone).

let's say unlike in canon: the thing that draws sara to this kid even more than just the similarities between their respective family histories is their personality.

honestly? the kid is whip-smart and well-spoken but also angry and rough around the edges; blunt and a little bit awkward, etc.

they match sara pretty much toe-to-toe during this interview, countering her every argument.

when sara tries to let them down gently and tell them that in the absence of any new physical evidence, there's no reason for the crime lab to reopen what seems to have been an open-and-shut case, they get in her face, citing (obviously researched) precedents re: the legitimacy of their chosen memory recovery techniques to her in an attempt to change her mind.

with all of their tenacity, it's hard not to be reminded of her younger self.

but in that resemblance, it's also hard for her not to think of how she operated as a young csi: that tendency she had to "chase rabbits" and let her feelings get in the way of her professional judgment.

she remembers how often she used to be disappointed back then; how she'd get her heart hung up on certain outcomes and then have it shattered when they didn't pan out.

let's say—again, since we're pretending we can get whatever "guest stars" we want here—that after sara goes home for the day, this dilemma is one she talks to grissom (on one of his visits to the states) about, explaining to him that for as much as this kid may want her to start digging, it's possible they may not like what she finds if she does, and she'd hate to cause them even more pain.

she opens up to him: she knows what it feels like to be this kid.

maybe she even admits that when she surreptitiously searched through her mom's legal files back in 2004 (see episode 05x10 "no humans involved"), she was hoping to find not "exonerating" information, per se—as her mother's guilt was never really in question—but at least some new context that might have helped her to better understand or come to terms with her mother's actions, or at least to fill in some of the blanks in her memories.

so she gets the impulse, you know?

(of course, she notes, she never did find any previously unknown information to contextualize her mother's crime. there's nothing that could ever really ameliorate "abused schizophrenic wife brutally stabs alcoholic abuser husband to death in his sleep," is there? the whole situation was just as awful and senseless as she always remembered.)

now, she wonders what her role is here as the adult: to play the realist and put her foot down, telling the kid there is no probative evidence to suggest their father's innocence; or to actually listen to the kid and reopen the investigation (because she understands how often kids—and especially foster kids—tend to have their thoughts and feelings discounted and she doesn't intend to be one of those grownups who just brushes off everything a kid says simply because they are a kid)?

at this point, grissom gives her a nudge: asks her when she looked through her mother's files what she felt when she discovered that there was no "hidden context" and things were always just as bleak and awful as she'd always known they were.

her realization: she accepted it.

was disappointed, but accepted it.

because at least then she knew for sure, you know?

and with that determination, sara decides to reopen the case, securing permission from catherine (who is at this time her supervisor) to do so, albeit perhaps more in a "well, i guess i can't really stop you" way than an "i fully support you in this endeavor" one.

she also enlists greg to help her—or rather, he volunteers because he remembers running dna on the original case back in the day, recalling some unknown exemplar collected from the crime scene he couldn't find a match to then and wanting to follow up on it now that codis is a more fully-developed technology.

the next morning, when the kid once again turns up at the lab, sara gives them the news that she's officially reopening the case, though she makes sure to stress: she's not promising them anything.

even with that caution, the kid still lights up.

for the first time, sara sees them smile—and on the one hand, it obviously terrifies her, having all this kid's hopes rest on her, but on the other, she also can't help but feel somewhat exhilarated, offering this kid at least a chance at an outcome she never had available to herself.

episode 2

this episode marks the beginning of sara's investigation in earnest.

the physical evidence in the original case is both limited and ambiguous in nature.

there were no signs of breaking and entering at the house.

the family members were shot with a gun belonging to the kid's father, and his prints were found on the weapon, which was recovered from next to his body, right where one would expect to find it had he dropped it after committing suicide.

however, there was also a pair of microfiber gloves found next to the father's body, which, while roughly the same size as his hands, were not ones the kid recognizes as belonging to their father.

sara and warrick's going theory at the time was that he had worn the gloves to shoot his family members but then taken them off to shoot himself, though they couldn't figure out why he would have done so, given that he didn't necessarily need to conceal his identity as the killer, his intention always being to commit suicide in the end.

inside the gloves, there is one unsmudged print. however, it is seemingly unrecoverable, due to the nature of the fabric.

the mystery dna greg couldn't match back in 2000/2001 comes from a sweaty handprint on a door handle to a part of the house seemingly out of the way of the murders; it doesn't belong to any of the family members, though it's unknown as of yet to whom it does belong or if it is even probative.

there is also circumstantial evidence to suggest that the kid's father may have been experiencing financial troubles at the time of the murders and that the kid's mother may have been having an affair back then, as well, of which her husband had perhaps recently become aware.

there was nothing at the scene to indicate anyone in the family struggled with assailants prior to their deaths, and both the mother and elder sibling were covered over with blankets, indicating remorse on the part of their killer.

meanwhile, the kid's "recovered memory" suggests that the man who came into their bedroom that night had some distinguishing physical characteristic that their father didn't have.

in episode 15x12 "dead woods," abby fisher's memory centers on a distinctive smell, and maybe the same thing could be the case here, though there might also be some other difference instead; i don't suppose this point really matters much, in terms of the overall story arc.

sara decides to run everything from the top, grissom-style (see episode 01x12 "fahrenheit 932").

of course, in this scenario, the added "warrick of it all" would throw a new wrinkle into the whole operation, as she would be sifting through his old work, potentially looking to overturn it.

imagine: once word gets out that sara is revisiting this case, nick becomes upset with her for distrusting warrick's original determination, feeling as if she is just being contrary and maybe even taking advantage of the fact that warrick isn't around to defend his own conclusions anymore.

and for what?

all because some weirdo (possibly drugged-up) teenager dreamt up a pseudo-memory ten years after the fact?

of course, given his ignorance of sara's past, nick doesn't understand sara's sense of personal connection with (and obligation to) this kid—and especially not because sara is trying with all her might to repress her own feelings and memories and "remain objective" on this case, not allowing her own trauma to color either her investigation OR her interactions with the kid.

—speaking of whom.

the kid turns up again at the lab for what is now a third morning in a row to check on sara's progress.

whereas in all of their previous encounters, the kid has had this somewhat surly attitude—think sara fending off grissom's inquiries about her "diversions" in episode 01x16 "too tough to die"—now, they are starting to come out of their shell.

while it's not a total transformation just yet (much like sara, this kid has been burned a lot and is fairly "slow to warm up"), they are becoming gradually more animated and expressing curiosity about sara and greg's investigative activities.

while it's clear they're trying not to get their hopes up too much—per sara's caution—it's also clear they're not fully succeeding in that trying.

more and more, they're becoming invested.

—and so is sara, who, despite her general trepidations about being "bad with kids," finds herself getting along with this one, especially as she starts to see their personality emerge out from behind that façade of jadedness, and especially as the kid starts to speak somewhat more freely about what their life in foster care has been like for the last ten years.

though sara lets on nothing to the kid regarding her own time in the system, we as the audience should be able to tell: the instability and uncertainty of "living with strangers," of always being the "odd kid out," is something she can very much relate to, and she feels for this kid.

deeply.

unfortunately, the gods of forensics don't seem to be on their side: it seems like whatever new investigative avenues sara and greg develop all eventually terminate in dead ends.

the mystery dna isn't in codis.

the details from the kid's memories are hard to get a fix on.

as the episode goes on, sara's stress grows.

she's still fielding passive-aggression from nick, who resents her taking on the case in the first place, and she is also starting to feel pressure from catherine and/or ecklie, who are annoyed with her for continually tying up department resources (including both herself and greg) as she pursues admittedly flimsy leads in a ten year-old solved case.

worse: the more time she spends with the kid, the harder she's finding it to keep her personal feelings out of the case AND out of her interactions with them.

despite her best efforts, she's getting her heartstrings tangled up in the investigation and in them.

she's also thinking about memories from her own past that she hasn't allowed herself to think about for a long time, and she's, frankly, worse for the wear for it.

after a hard shift fraught with disappointment for both her and the kid, she goes home to grissom, and we get a cuddling in bed scene where she admits, somewhat tearfully, to him that there is still so much she doesn't know about what happened between her parents; so much she can't remember either because it all happened when she was still so young or else because she's repressed it.

memory can be a fickle thing, grissom muses, and she agrees.

tells him she doesn't remember when her mom first got sick or why she (seemingly) never received treatment. doesn't remember when her father's abuse started. doesn't remember why her mother never tried to leave or if she perhaps did but maybe somehow failed. she can't recall what, if anything, precipitated the murder—if her dad's abuse of her mom had recently gotten worse or if her mom just finally after so many years snapped or if her mom's delusions perhaps had become stronger or more violent in nature.

she admits: there is so much about that night she has actively tried to forget and so much she is terrified she will someday be triggered to, against her will, remember.

worried about her, grissom wonders if maybe she should hand this case over to greg, but she tells him she feels she owes it to the kid to keep going, at least until she can definitively say whether or not their father was involved in the murders (regardless of if they ever identify any other potential suspects outside of him).

resolved, sara returns to work the next night.

however, as she starts to dig into the case again, she still isn't coming up with anything to challenge the original narrative.

at a team meeting, nick (who, remember, is the assistant supervisor on grave shift at this point) motions for her and greg to shelve the case, as active/current cases have been piling up in the meanwhile "and warrick already solved this one ten years ago anyway." sara pleads to be allowed to continue her investigation, and catherine compromises by pulling greg off the case while allowing sara to continue to work it solo. she also presents sara with a hard deadline: if she hasn't come up with anything probative by the end of the week, then she's got to drop the whole thing and move onto something new.

the kid appears—like clockwork—the next morning and, upon sara's dismal report, practically begs her to keep going, pushing her to dig deeper, to try just one more thing, please, please.

it's here where, overwhelmed by facing so much opposition on all sides, triggered, mixed-up, and half-defeated, sara finally snaps at the kid—says something harsh about how you can't rewrite history just because you want to; tells them that they have to learn to accept the fact that their father was a bad man, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that reality.

at this point, for the first time, the kid—who, until now, has been very tough and even recalcitrant—breaks.

starts crying.

and sara immediately feels awful.

apologizes—and, in an attempt to extend an olive branch—admits (in her awkward but heartfelt sara way) that she was maybe talking more about herself and her father than she was about them and theirs.

slowly, hesitantly, she tells the kid an abridged version of her story, enough that they also can see the similarities between their experience and sara's and know that she understands where they're coming from.

earnestly, she tells them: she wishes more than anything in the world that she could tell them for sure that their father was innocent and that she could find "the real killer" and lock them away.

but the truth, she says, is that that answer may not be the right one, however attractive it may seem.

she gets real with the kid: without more details, there's starting to be nowhere left to go in this case.

the kid offers to try more of the memory recovery technique—i.e., the hypnosis or the shrooms or the therapy—to help in the effort.

but sara tells them: memory is unreliable, and that technique is unproven.

better to stick to science.

she vows, for now, to keep going.

the kid is grateful to her, expressing that they feel like she "just gets it."

cut to the final shot of the episode: sara appearing super conflicted—honored, on the one hand, to have won this kid's trust, rare commodity that it is; but terrified, on the other, that she is still ultimately going to end up letting them down, which is the absolute last thing in the world she wants to do.

episode 3

insert sara wracking her brain to come up with one last avenue of potential investigation here.

eventually, she comes back to the latent print in the microfiber glove—one piece of evidence that was never run back in 2000/2001.

she thinks the print could be the key to unlocking this case now.

however, recovery will be nearly impossible using traditional collection methods.

even with mandy's help, there's no clear answer as to how to lift the print off of the microfiber without destroying it and while still maintaining all its ridge detail.

as the end of the work week is rapidly approaching, sara fears her time to investigate may well run out before she can derive a solution to her problem. not only does she feel like she's letting the kid down but also in a weird way warrick, who she knows would have done everything in his power to get to the truth, were he still around to run this investigation instead of her.

but just as she is about to succumb to total despair, who should approach her but nick, offering up a memory of his own?

—namely, a technique warrick taught him back in the day that might be applicable to her problem.

cue both nick and sara doing their best warrick impersonations: "i can pull a fingerprint off the air!"

of course, there's no guarantee warrick's technique will work, and it could still result in the destruction of the print. however, it is the best option sara has yet encountered.

so, when the foster kid appears at the lab the next morning, sara poses the choice to them: do they want her to take this one-in-a-million chance (knowing that it could well destroy the only remaining physical evidence that might possibly exonerate their father in the process of so doing) or do they perhaps want to hold off in the hopes that technology will eventually advance to the point where the print will be recoverable by some other, less invasive means sometime in the eventual future?

though they are nervous about the prospect, the kid ultimately decides to take the chance.

so sara pulls the print and is successful in so doing. however, she also destroys the surface from which she pulled the print as she collects it, meaning that the print now only exists in digital facsimile form.

mandy then runs the print, and eventually she determines: it doesn't belong to the kid's father.

its existence strongly suggests that another person was on scene during the commission of the murders and that they handled the murder weapon.

unfortunately, there are no hits on this mystery person's identity.

all of these determinations are made during the night, while the kid isn't at the lab, and sara knows that the next morning, she's going to have to tell the kid: while there's a possibility—and even a good one—that their father isn't to blame for the murders, as of yet, there is no empirical way to definitely prove as much, much less to find out who the real killer is.

and there may not ever be.

however, sara doesn't get the chance to tell the kid anything, because they don't turn up at the lab the next morning.

instead, their foster parent does.

come to find out, the kid had been lying to their foster parents, claiming they were going to early-morning "sat prep" and then beelining for the lab instead.

after one of the kid's friends accidentally let it slip to the foster parents that the kid had never actually attended any of the prep sessions, yesterday morning, the foster parents had trailed the kid to the lab. after the kid got home, they then confronted them.

now, upon discovering what the kid was up to, they have become concerned about the kid's level of investment in the case, fearing they are setting themselves up for a major letdown.

the foster parent explains the situation to sara.

apparently, after their family's murders, the kid bounced around in the system for years. during this time, they experienced all sorts of behavioral problems. earned a reputation with the dcfs as a "problem child."

the foster parent and their spouse were kind of a last-ditch solution; the only ones willing to take the kid in anymore.

it took them a while, but they were eventually able to earn the kid's trust and stabilize them.

now, after four or five years of living in their home, the kid is finally on an upswing: doing well in school, enjoying a social life, and just really thriving for the first time since the murders.

however, given the kid's obvious emotional investment in this case, their foster parent is worried that if they don't get the results they want, they might not be equipped to handle to the disappointment and could suffer a major backslide, right at a time when they're getting ready to "launch." the foster parent doesn't want to see them get derailed or "sacrifice their future for the past."

unaware that sara knows this fact all too well for herself, the foster parent explains: the stats on most "graduates" of the foster system are abysmal, so the best chance this foster kid has is to buckle down and study for the sat, get good grades, and attend college.

"that's their pathway out."

the foster parent has now come to sara in order to ascertain whether or not there is actually any hope that the kid will get the answer that they want, all said and done.

when sara explains the somewhat ambiguous outcome with the print, the foster parent decides not to tell the kid and asks sara for help in thinking up some way to "put the kid off the scent" for the time being, at least until they're emotionally prepared to hear potentially disappointing news.

though conflicted, sara suggests that the foster parent could perhaps tell the kid that she'd sent the print off to the fbi for further analysis and that it might be "in process" for a while (months or even years), and the foster parent thanks her for the idea, assuring her it's in the kid's best interest.

they also tell her: she shouldn't expect to see the kid back at the crime lab anytime soon, as it's probably not the best place for a teenager (and especially a traumatized teenager) to be hanging out before school everyday.

though sara outwardly expresses support for this decision, it's clear she's not 100% sold on the notion that concealing the truth is the best course of action here. she is also obviously devastated that she won't even get to say goodbye to this kid.

after her encounter with the foster parent, greg quickly sniffs out sara's upset, which she blames on the fact that she regrets not being able to get the kid a more straightforward answer.

however, he intuits: she's also sad because, despite all her protestations about not liking children, she's actually gotten attached to the kid, and now she's not going to see them again; she is going to miss them.

though he expects sara to resist this assertion, she surprises him by admitting he's right.

cut to a time jump.

the next morning.

and who should turn up at the lab but the kid, having snuck out on their foster parents yet again?

like sara, this kid has the uncanny ability to detect bullshit, and they're not buying the whole "fbi" story that their foster parents tried to sell them. they want to hear the truth from sara herself about her findings, even if it hurts, they say.

please.

at first, sara is reluctant to defy the kid's foster parents' wishes. she is also scared of sending the kid on a downward spiral and fucking up their life.

but then she realizes: she knows for herself how hard not knowing can be.

so she reaches deep inside herself, sits the kid down, and presents them with the truth in the best, most honest way she can think to, even though it's not altogether positive.

she admits: she can't tell them for certain that their father is innocent, though there's at least a chance he is. she also can't tell them who besides their father might potentially be to blame, though perhaps there is someone out there.

maybe, she conjectures, the databases will eventually kick out a match to that print or the dna that at the moment doesn't exist in their datasets; maybe technology will improve enough to someday fill in some of those blanks.

she'll absolutely keep trying, running the evidence periodically to see if anything turns up.

but in the meanwhile, there's no answer.

and there's also a chance that there will never be one.

on instinct, she confesses to the kid: she's never been certain if her mother habitually kept the knife she stabbed her father with under the pillow and pulled it out "in the heat of the moment" to defend herself OR if she had, in an act of premeditation, fetched it from downstairs after he fell asleep that night.

back when she was a kid, the detectives who worked her father's case had asked her, but she couldn't tell them.

and now she's never going to know.

"i keep trying to remember," she says, "the knife block in our kitchen. if there was an empty slot. if i heard her go back down the stairs and then up again. but i can't. that memory is just gone."

she's sorry, she says, she can't give the kid the answer they wanted.

but.

you can live with it.

there are ways to live with it.

someday, she promises, the kid will make other memories that their brain will allow them to retain; happy ones. they'll still carry the memories of their family with them, too. but they'll grow around the grief. have new experiences. give and receive love.

the kid ends up crying then, sobbing, totally unguarded and childlike, that they miss their family, and sara hugs them and says she knows, she knows.

cut to the end of the episode.

the kid's foster parents have come to pick them up from the lab.

they're apologetic to sara that the kid was "bothering her," but she tells them she doesn't mind. she also explains: she told the kid the truth, and they took it well.

"kids are more resilient than you think," she offers.

the foster parents agree.

they start to take the kid home, gently chastising them, on the way out the door, that now that they've skipped sat prep for a week, they're going to have to enroll in another session and take the course over again.

on hearing this statement, sara pipes up, "i could maybe help with that—if you want." stumblingly, she explains that she got a near-perfect score on the sat and attended harvard at age sixteen. "out of foster care," she adds.

and so it is that sara becomes this kid's tutor.

i imagine from this point, though the main storyline would be concluded, we (as the audience) would still see periodic evidence that sara was indeed keeping up with this kid and continuing to meet with them fairly regularly.

there could in time be other storylines for them.

if we want to go the tamer route:

maybe something to do with sara struggling to balance her work responsibilities with her new mentorship role.

alternatively or additionally, maybe her supporting the kid as they deal with some complicated feelings after their current foster parents propose adopting them.

on the one hand, they want to say yes, because they love their foster family and crave that sense of belonging. on the other hand, it feels like a betrayal to their bio family in some way, especially since they're so close to "aging out" anyhow.

maybe the kid meeting grissom and developing a relationship with him, too.

maybe the kid doing some kind of volunteer work or internship connected to the lab to help with their college applications, with sara supervising.

maybe them, with sara's help, starting a forensics club at their high school.

if we want to go the angstier route:

perhaps the kid still occasionally struggles. gets involved with substance abuse or has serious behavioral problems. ends up in trouble with the law, to the point that sara is obliged to confront them.

alternatively, maybe the kid has to unexpectedly move placements, and when they do, they confront sara: ask her why, if she supposedly cares so much, she doesn't offer to foster or adopt them herself. after all, aren't they close? doesn't she get it?

and who knows? maybe sara actually considers the possibility or even decides to go for it. has to broach the topic with grissom. reevaluate their lifestyle. could be an interesting development for both of them.

if we want to go the super angsty route:

turns out, the kid's dad didn't kill their family, and the real killer has somehow realized that the kid survived and the case has been reopened and that sara is periodically checking into it. maybe the killer then targets the kid, knowing they are the only person who could potentially identify them. maybe the kid is in real danger, and it's up to sara to catch the killer before they come to harm.

in any case, i'd definitely want to see more of sara interacting with this kid, building a real relationship with them over time—one that fit with her core characterization and didn't attempt to make her into something she wasn't.

excepting a scenario in which she did actually choose to foster or adopt this kid, i'd like her to toe that line, being a friend and supportive adult but not trying to fill the role of "mom."

i'd like to see her friendship with this kid challenge her in productive character ways and be consistently depicted, to the point where it was easy to believe that this bond was an important and regular part of her life.

anyway.

there would be other ways to write the whole thing than with this "memoriae sacrum" version, certainly.

but that's at least one way i could see the premise of "sara befriends a foster kid" working better than the option we're offered in canon.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[t00thpasteface]

GREAT news yall— discord just rolled out the username update for me, so i'm now @shebbz on discord, NOT shebbz#0128 and NOT t00thpasteface! ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES...

i've already updated that on my commission info page, and of course if i'm already in your contacts then you have nothing to worry about. just wanted to make a post about it in case you had my contact info written down or screenshotted for future reference. more yammering about contact and commissions below:

i get asked a lot if my commissions are open, and the answer is always YES!! specific slot availability comes and goes, but my turnover time is pretty fast right now (typically less than a week) since i'm out of school, so if they're all marked as full, then just keep checking back periodically and one should reopen in no time. i keep my commission info page up-to-date with slot availability and typically reopen slots the same day i post the corresponding commission, if not the day after.

discord is always the absolute best way to get in contact with me for commissions, as i have notifications always on for it on desktop AND mobile. email is also totally fine, but i only check my inbox about once or twice a day and may accidentally miss you... especially since i'm currently sending and receiving a LOT of emails for upcoming college stuff and yours might get swallowed up by the tide.

tumblr messages are not advised for commission work— they are more difficult to search in prior messages and make it harder for me to check things like references or other things you want. you're free to send me an ask or message if you have questions about my commission work, but if you're interested in buying, i encourage you to say hey on discord or shoot me an email.

alright, that's all for now!! thank you for taking the time to read this post... this post loves you (っ˘з(´▽ ` ) ♡

[askmymylittleponyocs]

Updates!! + New content coming

Hello everyone and if you are new here, Hi hello! Welcome to my MLP Ask blog. For those who've been following me, welcome back and yeah its- been a long time...aha- yeah I got explaining to do.

if you guys haven't been following me outside of the blog on other platforms I am on such as Deviantart, twitter and other places..Well giving you guys some updates on why I have been absent as of late.

First and foremost, I still will forever love MLP and nothing will make me leave the community let alone the fandom entirely. I already came to the terms there will be bad apples in any community no matter what and the best way to combat that- ignore and block if needed. I wont let them control my love for the fandom and community, and neither should anyone else. If I genuially 100% feel disconnected and feel I'll never come back to the fandom then yeah i'll close the chapter and leave. However I aint going nowhere. I still enjoy MLP as a whole especially when I have some few ideas in mind for my ocs even for my own next gen MLP series.

So firstly to get it out of the way, I have been busy with offline personal stuff. last few months have been extremely dreadful, stressful and my depression has hit me like a bullet train where I just don't want to feel or do anything. It was at its worst with loss of friends and many factors. even having to end a relationship due to we both couldn't agree on living situations. which sucks and extremely heartbreaking...

I also am a streamer, vtuber really because vtubing is extremely fun to me. I have taken a break from it since stuff went down back in june/july and came back within in september. I am still strictly giving myself 3 days of streaming until I know im 100% ready to tackle full weeks again. [Until i finally find work and see what the schedule shall be.]. My only job is commission works, just not stable due to I dont get them that much and I don't have anyone joining my memberships to help support my content which I aint complaining, i rather people join if they want to. not because they "have" to. Especially choose to join to get the lil perks and rewards.

So been just rather busy and meant to make a post sooner. Now to the MLP Ask Blog related discussion - I have A LOT of ocs still from MLP on my toyhouse I am still working on and a handful of them you guys might recognized. Alot of them are getting updates, some are getting redesigned. I want to properly flesh them all out within the universe and what fits for my stories. Plus fun lil art answers from anyone who got any questions they wanna ask. WHICH- I am making a POST showcasing all of my ocs that you guys can ask questions with Links to their Toyhouse since that is 100% where all their information is about them and further more. Even AU's too.

Also Will say one of my ocs I am working on more-so with backstory wise is this gal here. Remember these two duo mares, Sweet Delight and Rose?:

Yeah so the story is complicated but so far I do want to make a story about them as a whole since originally in the past - sweet delight had a "second conscious" or "second personality" but I decided what if a Entity of sorts from one Unicorn who delved into dark magic and spells accidently got cursed into a baby unicorn and needed to find a way to get free from this spell? Something like that? Sweet knows Rose as long as she can literally remember, she was abandoned as a young foal for no reasons. Which will leave everyone to wonder how it mayhaps happen. I definitally want to make a series with her and mayhaps certain characters from the shows be involved because I would think the mane 6 would get involved into this mess themselves.

Speaking of the mane 6- I am gonna do a Virus Infection AU myself but there is going to be TWO of them. one being a original idea I quickly thought on calling it either Monarch Virus [monarch butterfly] or just Butterfly Virus. Name in progress. I want something butterfly related. And then one I decided to do base on an item within the canon show - zap apples. So the Zap apple infection. I have not seen anyone do it yet and if there IS someone out there that has, I am taking mine as this is my own interpretation of the zap apple infection while they got their own take in it. Its for fun and I do got some spooky doodles to share eventually.

Now last thing before I skidaddle to work on some stuff, I will be currently at this time updating the MLP Ask Blog page itself with new tags and a detail tag. I've been making my own pages on the "detail tag" page list for those who come across the blog page and want to see all the tags I have thats avalible for you guys to check out and see. Since I can only share a limit amount of tags on the blog itself, this will make it 100% easier to see everything. Tags for my mlp stories , tags for characters you wanna see art and answers from with the questions, etc. :3

If anyone has any questions They like to ask any of my ocs, I can link you guys to my toyhouse with the characters I still have that you guys can check out and pick who you want to ask questions of. Just know that there will be an official pinned post with pictures of the ocs and link to their profiles on its own post thats coming soon. Got any questions to ask me officially just let me know that your question is directed at me , the creator.

Any questions you got for my ocs just let me know who exactly you want to ask questions towards to with their name.

my ocs are located, again in my toyhouse here! Do be warned that their profiles are 100% not ready yet at the time of this post is created. when I make an official pinned post thats when their profiles be up to date entirely. for now this is what I got for them.

Thank you all for taking the time to read if you have and I'll share some mlp works when I do. Hope everyone is having a good week!