#question mark quarantine

[spokenforinvaliduser]

47 minutes

[pedrospatch]

to hell and back l two

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist l main masterlist l next chapter

summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. canon violence, canon language, reader has a flashback, mentions of slavers, implied threat of assault, guns, reader gets groped, reader has a panic attack, a lot of angst, trauma. soft Joel, protective Joel, and i even threw in some domestic Joel because just imagine that old man making you a nice lil late night snack. 🥹 i think i got most of the major warnings out of the way, i’m sorry if i missed anything!

Word Count: 8.7k

Smoke was coming off my jacket

and you didn’t seem to mind

I left a long trail of ashes and

you said, I like your style

California l Spring, 2023

Your hand trembled slightly as you gripped your pistol and aimed it at his chest.

You’d never pointed your gun at another human being before. At least not one that was still alive.

“Hey now, it’s alright. You can trust us.”

Anxiously, you glimpsed from the man who had just spoken to the woman who stood beside him.

Surely the two had to be related. Both possessed the same fiery red hair, a face full of freckles, and vivid green eyes. They stood before you with their weapons lowered in an attempt to show you that they weren’t a threat to your safety. 

The man, who had to be in his mid to late thirties, moved to step forward, but halted in his tracks when he caught sight of the way your finger had twitched over the trigger. “My name is Mark,” he said, carefully gesturing to himself with his free hand. In his opposite hand, he clutched his rifle, an assault style weapon that made your gun look like a fucking toy in comparison. Still, it was you who had the upper hand, at least for now. “This here is my sister. Her name is Jessa.” He paused and when you said nothing, he asked, “Can you tell us your name?”

Chewing your bottom lip, you shook your head at him in response. 

You didn’t trust them.

Not quite yet.

Jessa, who was younger and looked to be closer to your own age, offered you a kind smile. “That’s alright. You don’t have to tell us your name until you feel comfortable.” She took a look around at the small, makeshift camp that you had made for yourself. “Are you all by yourself, sweets?”

You quickly wracked your brain. 

“No,” You fibbed. “I’m with my father. He should be back any minute now. He’s armed and he does not take all too kindly to strangers, so you’d best be on your way before he sees you.” You added in a steadier tone, “He won’t even think twice. He’ll just kill you on the spot, so you better leave right now. Or else.”

Amused, Mark let out a soft chuckle. “Oh, come on now, dollface. You don’t have to lie to us,” he stated, shaking his head. “Let’s try this again and let’s be honest this time, alright? How long have you been alone?”

Your throat bobbed as you swallowed harshly. 

Fuck.

He had seen right through the bullshit threat. 

“For about three or four days now,” You admitted, your shoulders sagging in defeat. “I was with my father and my sister. The three of us were on our way up north. We were trying to get to Seattle to the quarantine zone, but then they were—”

You suddenly stopped.

It felt like someone had driven their fist right into your gut, knocking all the wind out of your lungs and hindering your ability to speak.

You couldn’t even say it out loud.

Gruesome images of them being torn apart limb from limb flashed through your mind. Bile slowly started climbing its way up your throat and your stomach churned violently.

You were going to be sick.

“Are they both dead?” Mark questioned you.

You nodded, whispering shakily, “Yes.”

Jessa frowned. “I’m so sorry for your loss, honey. If it’s any consolation, me and Mark know exactly how it feels. We lost our entire family about three years ago. It’s the hardest thing we’ve ever been through.” Swinging back her own rifle behind her, she approached you and reached out, placing her hand over yours—the one that was still clutching your weapon. She didn’t even so much as flinch at the way the barrel was now pointed at her, how it was just an inch or two away from her chest. It didn’t seem to faze her that all it would take was you bringing your index finger down a bit harder on the trigger and she would be dead. “We know you must be fucking terrified, but it’s okay. You can trust us. We’re good, honest people and we just want to help you. But we can’t do that if you try and kill us, now can we?”

Slowly, Jessa guided you to lower your gun. She then looked over her shoulder, exchanging a look with her brother, as if asking him to back her up.

“Yeah. She’s right. We just want to help you,” he repeated after her. “We aren’t going to hurt you. If we wanted to, we probably would have by now, don’t you think so?”

You let out a tiny breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding and loosened your iron grip on your pistol.

He did make a fair point.

Now that your gun was pointed at the ground, he could have easily killed you. And yet, he’d made no move to blow your fucking head off. 

Maybe they really were good people.

But what if they weren’t?

What if it was just a trap?

You didn’t know what to fucking think.

All you knew was that you were so helplessly lost now that your family was gone.

You were afraid.

Alone.

Jessa turned back to you. “Listen, we’re part of a settlement,” she informed you. “It’s not all too far from here, maybe six or seven miles tops. We’ve got a really big group of people and we’re always looking to bring in anyone in need. Come with us, sweets. There’s plenty of food, water, and we can you into some fresh, clean clothes too. How does that sound?” 

You momentarily hesitated, still unsure whether or not you could trust the two strangers. 

How did it sound?

It sounded too fucking good to be true.

“It’s a safe place,” Mark assured you from behind her. He could see the reluctance written all over your face. 

“It’s as safe as safe can be,” Jessa promised. She touched your arm and flashed you another smile, one that was more kind than the first—one that was so comforting it made you feel like you could actually trust her. “So? What do you say? Will you come back with us? Will you let us help you?”

You nervously bit the inside of your cheek.

Scared, starving, and exhausted, their offer for a safe haven was much too tempting to decline.

Besides, how long could you possibly survive out here all on your own?

“Alright,” You finally agreed after a moment. “I’ll come with you.”

“There’s just one condition,” Mark stated, falling into step beside his sister in front of you. “We’re going to need you to hand over your weapon.”

“What?” You stared at him. “Why?”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s protocol,” he said, waving a hand dismissively at you. “It’s purely for safety reasons. Anyone who comes into our group must surrender their weapons. We want to be sure that we’re bringing in someone who isn’t going to be a threat to our people. We have children, so we just want to be cautious, you know?”

“I guess that does makes sense,” You admitted. 

“You’ll get it back,” Jessa reassured you. “Once you speak to the council and they determine you aren’t a threat, you’ll get your gun back. Okay?”

Left with very little choice, you agreed. “Okay.”

Mark held out his hand for the weapon.

Slowly, you placed your pistol in his open palm.

“Perfect.” Jessa chirped. “Now grab your things and let’s get going. If we hurry up, we can make it back before nightfall.”

Nodding, you turned around to grab your pack. 

The second you turned your back, the barrel of the same gun you’d just handed to Mark poked you between your shoulder blades and you froze, your blood running cold in your veins.

“Hands up, bitch,” Jessa commanded. Her warm and friendly tone had vanished. “And turn around towards me slowly. Now.”

Terrified, you did as you were told and you lifted both of your hands, turning around on the heel of your sneaker to face her.

Her expression, much like her tone, was frigid.

Hostile.

“You’re going to do exactly as I say when I say it.” She held up her rifle, aiming it at you. “And if you don’t, you fucking die. Do you understand?”

“Please,” You choked out. “Don’t—”

“Do you fucking understand?” Jessa repeated in a hiss, her finger hovering over the trigger. When she was met with a small, meek nod, she turned to look at her brother. “Cuff her.”

Mark smirked. He tucked your gun away into the waistband of his jeans and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a pair of rusted handcuffs. He walked around and stood behind you, instructing, “Hands behind your back.” Once he had both of your wrists in one hand, he used the other to slip on the cuffs, tightening them so hard that the old oxidized steel dug painfully into your skin. “She’s a pretty one,” he murmured. As soon as he made certain the cuffs were securely fastened, he put a hand on your ass, groping it roughly. “Oh, you’re going to be popular with the guys, dollface. Kind of makes me want to break you in, right here and right now—give me a few minutes with her, Jess.”

Completely paralyzed with fear, all you could do was stand there in silence as his hands continued to roam your lower body, feeling you up through your jeans. He squeezed at your inner thigh, then brushed up over your zipper.

“Mark! That’s not what she’s for, you idiot,” Jessa reminded him, rolling her eyes. “Now quit fucking around and let’s start heading back to camp.”

She whirled around and started leading the way.

Mark grinned and pressed his mouth to your ear as he whispered in cruel reassurance, “Don’t you worry, now. I’ll get my chance with you—we’re all going to our chance with you.”

He grabbed you by your upper arm and roughly shoved you forward, leading you to what would inevitably be hell on earth.

Joel leans against the tree with his arms crossed over his chest. His dark eyes are fixed intently on you, carefully observing you from where he stands, more so out of concern rather than curiosity. Something isn’t right.

It’s late in the afternoon and the two of you had been about halfway into the six hour trek down south to Jackson when Joel offered to stop for a while, just long enough for the both of you to rest and take a quick breather, find a second wind before finishing the journey—but as he continues watching you, Joel starts to realize that perhaps stopping had done you much more harm than it’s done you good. 

Just a few feet away from where he’s standing and keeping a watchful eye on you, you sit perched on top of a small, flat boulder hugging your knees up to your chest with both hands wrapped tightly around the grip of your pistol. 

You’re in a trance like state, staring straight off into the distance at nothing in particular. Your face is completely blank. Emotionless. It appears that while all the lights are on, nobody is fucking home. 

Squinting against the sunlight, Joel takes a closer look at you. He sees it so clearly, the faraway look in your eyes. 

You are gone. You’ve checked out and completely disconnected from reality. 

He would go as far as saying you’ve disconnected from this fucking planet.

You’re sinking, slowly drowning in some kind of thought or perhaps it was a memory—whatever it is that’s currently preoccupying your mind, it sure as hell isn’t anything good. He has no fucking clue how he’d managed to clock it so easily, so quickly, but Joel had sensed something was wrong the instant you’d drifted off. 

The deeper you go and the further you lose yourself, the harder your hands clutch at your grin, the thin delicate skin on your knuckles stretching taught over the bones. It’s not until Joel notices the way your chest begins to rise and fall rapidly as your breaths quicken, the way you start struggling for air, that he knows it’s time for him to intervene before you worsen and suffocate under the weight of whatever it is that’s sitting so heavily on you. 

Pushing himself away from the tree, Joel begins to approach you, taking extra care so as not to spook you into turning your pistol on him and pulling the trigger in a moment of panic. He lifts both of his hands and holds them out in front of him. Cautiously, Joel makes his way over towards where you’re sitting on the boulder, his footsteps slow and careful. 

“Hey,” he calls out to you, keeping his tone firm, but somehow still gentle as he tries to garner your attention. When you don’t even acknowledge him or his presence, he tries again, speaking a little bit louder. “Hey. S’okay. S’alright. Everythin’ is alright—come on back now.” Joel draws closer and closer to you, taking tiny step after tiny step on the steel toes of his worn, black leather boots. “S’alright, darlin’. I need you to come back to me now, okay? You ain’t where you think you are. You’re alright—”

The sound of a twig snapping underneath his boot startles you. Jumping to your feet, you aim your gun at him with shaking hands and wild, terrified eyes. 

Even as your finger trembles over the trigger, Joel remains calm. “Hey, c’mon. Take it easy. S’okay. You’re alright. Look, it’s me. It’s just me and I ain’t gonna do anythin’ to hurt you,” he swears. He shows you his empty hands, hoping that you would be able to snap out of it and realize that he isn’t a threat. That you aren’t in any kind of danger. But as you hold your weapon, chest heaving as you panic, Joel knows it doesn’t matter that his hands are empty. It doesn’t make a fucking difference. He knows it isn’t him who is standing in front of you.

It’s someone else. Whoever you were seeing standing there in his place, it’s someone who had done god knows what to you. Joel has a gut wrenching hunch it had something to do with the marks he’d seen around your wrists back at the cabin. The mere thought of it is enough to send an unpleasant chill up and down the length of his spine. 

Joel speaks again. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.” He feels the sudden urge to reach out for you, but knowing it would be unwelcome, he resists it. All he can do is try and use his words to bring you back to the present. Back to him. “Breathe. You’re safe. I need you to breathe, can you do that for me? Do you think you can breathe for me, darlin’?”

Somehow, his voice penetrates its way in through the thickness of the white fog that you’d been lost in. You had been stumbling around helplessly in it, desperately searching for a way through. Joel’s heavy, deep Southern drawl permeates the memory, causing the haunting images from that fateful day when your life had taken a sharp turn for the worst to dissolve into nothing. 

“Just breathe. Nice and slow. Inhale through your nose, then out through your mouth. Easy does it.” Joel controls his own breathing, slowing it down to demonstrate. He inhales deeply through his nose and exhales slowly through his mouth. 

You stare at him with wide eyes as you fight to get the rise and fall of your chest to match his. How the hell do you know what to do? 

Joel can practically hear your question ringing in your mind amidst the chaos. “My kid, she gets these awful nightmares sometimes. Wakes up in a panic thinkin’ she’s somewhere else, somewhere she ain’t safe. So my brother’s wife, Maria, well she was kind enough to show me what to do whenever it happens. She taught me a couple different breathin’ techniques that help soothe Ellie and calm her down. Told me it helps if I do them with her,” he explains to you. He can tell that you’re now coming out of the worst of it and that you’re finally starting to get some oxygen back into your lungs. He lowers his hands. Your pistol is still aimed at him, but Joel trusted you enough to know that you wouldn’t pull the trigger and blow his fucking head off. “C’mon, breathe. There we go. That’s it. Easy does it, now. In through your nose and out through your mouth, that’s it. That’s a good girl.” 

It takes you a good minute or two, but your breaths fall into sync with his own and before you know it, the two of you are breathing together in harmony. 

Oh. You’re not in California.

The man standing before you doesn’t have red hair and green eyes. He doesn’t have that twisted smirk on his face. He isn’t putting his hands on you. He’s not hurting you. He’s helping you. 

Swallowing dryly, you lower your weapon. Your gaze meets Joel’s and somehow you find the courage to look him in his eyes for the very first time. Even though you had turned your gun on him, he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it all. He isn’t upset or angry. The look of worry on his face has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you could have easily killed him just now. It’s as if he’d known for certain that you wouldn’t pull the trigger.

“There we go,” Joel says after another minute passes by. “You see? You’re alright. You’re safe.”

There’s comfort in his words, in his deep brown eyes.

Fuck, there’s comfort in him. 

Still. Your mind refuses to allow you to accept it.

At least, not completely. 

Averting your gaze, you shuffle your weight from one foot to the other and then back again. 

Joel clears his throat lightly. “It’s gettin’ real late,” he murmurs. “We should get a move on. We’ve still got a bit of a way to go and we really don’t wanna get ourselves caught out in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere after dark for too long, y’know?”

You give him a small nod and start to gather up your belongings. You pick up your canteen, which is now almost completely empty after you’d shared your water with him during the first leg of the hike, and shove it into one of the side pockets of your back.

“S’kinda cold,” Joel states. “And it’ll only get colder as nightfall approaches. You, uh—you warm enough in that little denim jacket?”

You shrugged a shoulder at him, not thinking anything much of the question. I’m fine. 

However, as if on cue, a chilly breeze blows its way through Wyoming’s plains, causing you to shiver.

Joel quickly shrugs out of his brown jacket. “You mind if I—?”

You toss him a confused glance. 

Do I mind if you what? 

Joel steps towards you and lifts his arms as if he’s going to put them around you. Flinching, every muscle in your entire body goes rigid and he halts. “S’alright. I’m just gonna give you my jacket, that’s all,” he assures you, his arms frozen midair. He patiently waits for a small nod of approval. Once he has it, he drapes his jacket over your shoulders and then takes several steps back, giving you your space. “Should keep you from freezin’ your ass off out here.”

As he turns around and walks over to where he had set his rifle down, you stand there somewhat stupefied over what he’d just done. Something so simple, and yet you can’t seem to wrap your fucking brain around it. 

Willing yourself to move, you carefully slide both of your arms into the sleeves of his jacket, wrapping it around your body. The scent of him, a mixture of earthy sandalwood and whatever soap he uses to wash his clothes, fills your senses and a strange, but pleasant warmth radiates throughout your chest, gradually spreading itself to the rest of your body from head to toe. 

Ignoring the feeling, you pick up your backpack along with your bow and quiver of arrows, slinging everything over your shoulders. 

Joel slings the strap of his rifle over his shoulder and turns back to you. “Ready to get goin’?”

Pistol in hand, you gesture for him to go ahead and walk in front of you, much like he’d done for the first half of the trip.

He lets out a small sigh. “Alright, I get it. Still don’t fully trust me. Well, we’ll keep workin’ on that, then.”

A couple of hours had gone by. The slanting rays of the setting sun give a warm orange tinge to the skies as late evening begins settling itself in. 

“Y’wanna know somethin’?” Joel asks, breaking the silence between you.

You look up at the back of his head, your eyes fixing themselves on his mop of thick, unkempt salt and pepper waves. Occasionally, as you’d been slowly trudging along behind Joel, you stole glimpses of the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck and brushed against the collar of his henley.

Despite the lack of a response, Joel continues to talk. “Earlier at the cabin, just when I was startin’ to come back around, I heard a woman singin’ to me. At least, it sure seemed like she was singin’ to me. It was a real pretty song too.” He glances over his shoulder at you with curiosity. “Was that you?”

You blink at him, keeping a straight face. 

“Hm, no I s’ppose it wasn’t you,” he answers his own question. He turns his attention back to the path ahead of him. “I reckon that it must have just been some sorta dream I had while I was out cold. But it sounded so vivid, y’ know? It sounded so fuckin’ real. And the strangest part of it all is that I don’t know how it’s even possible for me to dream of a voice like that,” he muses aloud. 

Oh? Unable to help yourself, you move yourself from behind Joel and fall into step beside him. Now it’s you that’s riddled with curiosity. What do you mean by that? 

Joel glances down at you. He grips the leather strap of his rifle and shrugs his shoulders. “Well, to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a voice quite like that in my whole entire life,” he tells you. He shrugs once more, his arm brushing against yours by accident. Joel half expected you to deck him for it, but much to his surprise, it doesn’t seem like his touch had bothered you. “It was too fuckin’ gorgeous. So beautiful that part of me wonders if it was someone or somethin’ out of this world.” He pauses and peered at you, detecting a slight glimmer of light in your eyes. “Felt like I had a real life angel singin’ to me.”

You feel the corners of your lips threatening to turn upwards into a smile. Turning your face away from him, it takes everything you had in you to force them back down. 

“Well look at that. You’re walkin’ right next to me,” Joel observes after a minute, raising an eyebrow. 

Your head whips back around.

“Must mean that I’m doin’ somethin’ right, huh darlin’?”

You snort and roll your eyes.

I think I liked it better when you weren’t talking.

Still, you remain at his side. 

The rest of the trek is silent.

Night had just fallen by the time that you and Joel finally made it to Jackson. The moment that you set your sights on the massive wooden gate out in the distance, your heart begins to pound, slamming against your ribcage.

The closer the both of you draw to the barrier, the easier it is for you to see the men and women who are standing on a platform on top of the gate, heavily armed as they keep watch—their lights illuminate the perimeter of the settlement and light up the velvet purple sky. 

You stop dead in your tracks. Oh fuck that.

Joel shakes his head. “S’alright. Don’t be scared.”

There’s six people standing on top of that gate armed with fucking assault rifles. And you don’t expect me to be scared? Are you for real?

“Look, things might be a little tense at first when the patrolmen see us,” he admits, raking a hand through his hair. “None of them have any idea that I’m still alive, but as soon as they see that it’s me, they’re gonna stand down. All I need is for you to stay calm and follow my lead, alright?” He nods at the pistol in your hand. “M’also gonna need for you to put your gun away and out of sight.”

You glare at him, your eyes flashing angrily in the darkness.

You said I could have my weapons on me. 

Joel holds up his hand. “I promise that I ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you, alright? I swear it on my fuckin’ life,” he vows. “You have my word. No one’s gonna hurt you. I won’t let them. Just stay calm and do as I say. Please,” he adds, a hint of desperation lacing his tone. “Y’think you can do that for me?”

Your mind is screaming, begging you to run and run fast. Instead, you find yourself reluctantly tucking your gun into the waistband of your jeans, concealing it just like Joel had asked you to do. 

“Stay behind me,” he instructs, shoving his own rifle behind him. He begins leading the way towards the gate and beckons for you to follow close. 

The second the two of you step out from the darkness and into the light, the sound of firearms cocking breaks through the silence of the night. 

“Stop right there!” A woman’s voice shouts. “Freeze! Or we’ll fucking shoot!”

“Melissa, it’s me!” Joel calls out, holding up his hands. “It’s Joel!”

“What?”

He huffs and yells again, “It’s Joel!”

“Wait a goddamn minute, everyone fucking stand down!” Melissa loudly barks the order at the five other patrol men and women who are standing on either side of her with their firearms aimed and at the ready. “Joel? Joel Miller, is that really you?” She leans her body forward over the gate and squints at him, letting out an incredulous laugh. “Well butter my fucking ass and call me a goddamn biscuit, the man is fucking alive! Quick, open up the gates! Somebody go and get Tommy! Let’s go, fucking move it people!”

Joel drops his hands, sighing in relief.

You, on the other hand, are scared shitless and wonder if it’s too late to make a run for it. 

“Remember,” he says, looking back at you. “Calm. Okay?”

You force a small, tight nod of your head. 

Okay. 

The gate’s doors pull apart and he leads you up to them and through to the other side where you and Joel are met with a frantic crowd of at least two dozen people—the obnoxious, overlapping chatter coupled with the blatant stares you’re receiving cause an overwhelming feeling of anxiousness to wash over you in a massive wave that, if you allow it, is going to drown you right there on the spot. Refusing to make eye contact with anybody, you fix your gaze on Joel, keeping it focused on the broadness of his back as more and more people circle around the both of you, caging you in with nowhere to run. 

“Joel!” Melissa elbows her way through the large crowd, rushing up to him. She grabs him by the arms, giving him a quick once over. “Holy shit! We thought you were fucking dead! I can’t fucking believe it!”

“Where’s Tommy?” Joel asks her.

“At home with Maria. Lisa went to pull him out of bed—where the hell have you been, Joel? It’s been three fucking days!”

Joel purses his lips together tightly. He can feel you inching yourself forward, trying to stand as close to him as possible as more people join the scene. The toes of your boots touch the heels of his, your chest lightly brushing against his back. While Joel doesn’t blame the people of the town for being curious, he isn’t all too fond of the way they’re staring at you—the gestures and the finger pointing, the mutters and the whispers. He doesn’t have to see you to know it’s making you uncomfortable, and his priority is to get you out of there and somewhere where you would feel safe. “Listen, it’s a real long story that I ain’t got time for right this minute. I need Tommy—”

“Miller!”

A loud, booming voice comes from behind Melissa.

It belongs to a tall, bulky blond haired man—his mere presence is intimidating, proven by how it had taken absolutely nothing for the crowd to part and make room for him to pass through. Smirking, he saunters up to Joel and remarks, “I thought you were a fucking goner.”

Joel’s jaw clenches, but he says nothing. 

The tension between the two men could be sliced with a fucking machete.

His blue eyes flit over Joel’s shoulder to you. “Well, well, well. Who is this sweet little lady?”

You step even closer to Joel, pressing yourself against his backside and taking a fistful of his shirt.

“None of your fuckin’ business, that’s who.”

Keith’s smirk widens. “Actually, as head of safety and security for this community, it fucking is my business,” he reminds him. “She infected?”

Joel raises his eyebrows. “Does she look fuckin’ infected to you?”

“You know the commune’s rules, Miller.” Without tearing his eyes away from you, Keith calls over his shoulder, “Bring out one of the hounds! Now!”

Behind him, Joel hears a small gasp.

Hounds?

Joel whirls around. “Hey, s’alright,” he says quickly before you can start to panic. “We have dogs that have been trained to sniff out the cordyceps infection. S’just gonna smell you, that’s all.”

The crowd backs away as a woman with cropped hair brings out a large black dog on a chain leash attached to a brown leather harness. Once it catches sight of you, the unfamiliar newcomer, the animal begins to bark and growl, thrashing around as it tries to lunge towards you. The dog tugs and pulls at his leash so violently that he nearly knocks his handler over. The woman unclips the leash and sets the dog free—it approaches you, snarling and baring its teeth. 

You start to back away, but Joel stops you.

“Relax,” he mutters to you under his breath. He moves to stand beside you and holds out his hand, offering it in an attempt to comfort you and ease the fear. He hadn’t expected you to accept it, so when you place your hand in his and lace your fingers with his own, he’s taken by complete surprise. 

You squeeze his rough, calloused fingers as the dog comes closer towards you. Nervously, you hold your other hand out to it, prompting it to snap at you, its teeth snapping together. Somehow, you muster enough courage to hold your hand steady and the animal growls, but then gives it a sniff. When it doesn’t detect what it’s searching for, the dog happily wags his tail and gives your hand a friendly lick before running back over to its handler who puts the animal back on the leash. 

You breathe out in relief. 

“There,” Joel snaps at Keith. “You satisfied?”

Keith clicks his tongue. “Almost,” he drawls. He walks over to you, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “What’s your name, dollface?”

Your stomach drops at the nickname. Looking down at the dirt, you don’t reply.

“Aw, she’s shy! Well isn’t that just adorable.” Keith lets out a raspy laugh, causing a couple of the onlookers to laugh along with him. “What’s the matter, sweetie pie? Hm? Cat got your tongue?”

Joel drops your hand, his nostrils flaring. “Back off asshole or else—”

Ignoring him, the blond patrolman eyes the weapon hanging on your shoulder. “That’s a really nice bow you’ve got there,” Keith states, cutting off Joel’s threat. “But we do have rules here. Newcomers have to surrender their weapons so they can be stored away securely. We don’t know you and until we can know for sure you won’t be a threat to the people of this town, you’re going to have to surrender that bow along with all other weapons you’re carrying.” Keith lowers his voice as he adds, “And I would advise you not to try and hide anything because I’m going to be the one to pat you down—and I’ll be thorough. I don’t take all too kindly to liars, so keep that in mind.”

“You just threaten her in front of me?” Trying his hardest not to cause a scene with so many people watching the three of you, Joel keeps his voice low and quiet—but the sharp, dangerous edge to his tone can’t be missed. 

“Of course I didn’t,” Keith responds, innocently. “All I was doing was letting her know how we work around here in Jackson. We’ve been operating the town the same way for years now for a good reason. The rules we set in place apply to any and all newcomers, regardless of who they came here with.” He holds out his hands to you. “Surrender all of your weapons to me. Now.”

Shaking your head, you take a step back. This was not what you’d agreed to. This wasn’t the promise that Joel had made you back at the cabin. 

Joel glares at him. “She ain’t surrenderin’ a goddamn thing—”

It’s too late.

Keith steps towards you and goes for the bow. As his hand shoots out to take it from your shoulder, you quickly turn your body and swiftly dodge it. He feels his face burn with red hot anger as several onlookers gasp at your act of rebelliousness. Furious, Keith reaches for you again and grabs you, taking the upper part of your arm in a harsh grip that makes you squeak out in pain. 

You lift your opposite arm and swing a curled fist up towards his face, but he catches your wrist in his other hand before it can connect with his jawline. 

Joel!

You try to say his name, but you fucking can’t. 

Your mouth opens and nothing comes out. For as hard you push and try to force it, you can’t find your voice. Instead, all that falls from your lips is a pathetic, strangled little cry. You yank and pull, struggling as you try to tear yourself out of Keith’s grasp. 

Livid, Joel nearly goes fucking blind with rage. He snatches Keith by the collar of his leather jacket, ripping him away from you. Though he’s still sore as from the fall off of his horse three days ago, he uses every ounce of strength he has left in him to throw him down into the dirt at the feet of a fellow patrolman named Wyatt. “Don’t. Fuckin’. Touch. Her.” He barely manages to bite out the words through gritted teeth. “Ever.”

Wyatt helps him up to his feet. “You alright, man?”

“Get the fuck off me!” Keith snarls, pushing him away. His chest is heaving and his face turns a deep shade of red. Whether it’s because he’s embarrassed or if it’s because he’s angry, no one can quite tell the difference. One thing is for damn sure, he isn’t used to someone going against his authority and everyone watching holds their breath, waiting to see what he’s going to do next. After all, the man going against him happened to be their leader’s brother in law. “What the fuck is your goddamn problem, Miller? It’s protocol—”

“Not today it ain’t.”

Keith approaches him, his hands curled into tight fists at his sides. He stands so close that the two of them are chest to chest, ready to tear each other to shreds. “Do you think just because your fucking brother is second in command, you can just do as you please? Is that it?” He questions, bitterly. “It doesn’t fucking work like that. We have rules set in place for a reason, Joel. We are going to do this by the fucking book whether your little girlfriend here likes it or not, got it?”

Stepping around him, he starts towards you but Joel is quick to block his path. He stands in front of you and squares his shoulders.

He speaks, his voice dangerously low. “You listen and you listen good. If you even so much as think about layin’ another fuckin’ finger on her, I’ll make sure you spend the rest of tonight pickin’ up your teeth off the ground. You understand me?”

“That a threat?”

“It ain’t a threat. It’s a fuckin’ promise.”

Keith pulls his arm back and he’s about ready to take a swing when he’s stopped by the sound of Tommy Miller’s frantic voice. 

“Joel! Where is he—where the fuck is Joel?”

The much younger, raven haired man approaches the scene, shrugging a blue denim jacket over his cotton white t-shirt. The instant that he spots Joel, he runs up to him and throws his arms around his shoulders. “Fuckin’ Christ, I thought I fuckin’ lost you out there! What the hell happened?”

“Where’s Ellie?” Joel demands. “She okay?”

“She’s fast asleep at my place with Maria and the baby. She’s been with us this entire time.”

Joel’s shoulders sag in relief.

Tommy looks around, frowning. “What’s going on? What’s everyone doin’ out here?” He then sees you and raises his eyebrows at his older brother. “Joel? Who’s that?”

“Look, I’ll explain everything, can we just—can we talk in private?”

Although he’s confused, Tommy nods. 

“Of course. C’mon, let’s go back to my place.”

“Well I’ll be damned,” Tommy states as soon as Joel had finished recounting the story—well, what he could remember, anyway. It wasn’t much.

You’re sitting beside Joel across the table from Tommy and Maria in the kitchen of their home. All three of them speak in quiet, hushed voices so as not to wake Ellie and Samuel, Tommy and Maria’s infant son. Maria had offered to go upstairs to pull Ellie out of bed so that she and Joel could reunite, but when Tommy mentioned tonight had been the first night since Joel had gone missing three days ago that she had finally managed to fall asleep, everyone agreed it would be best to wait until the morning. 

“So, she saved your life,” Tommy concludes. His brown eyes, even darker than those of his older brother, flicker over to you once again. You sit there in complete silence, staring at the top of the wooden table, refusing to meet his gaze—or that of his wife. 

Joel nods. “She did, Tommy. I don’t fuckin’ know how, but what I do know is that if it wasn’t for her, then I wouldn’t be sittin’ here at this table right now.”

You shuffle uncomfortably in your chair. Though the couple had been kind to you, it didn’t make it any easier when they stared at you like you had a second head. 

“She saved your life and you don’t even know her name?” Tommy’s in complete disbelief.

“No. She doesn’t talk.”

Maria hums. “I have an idea. Let me find her a notepad or something to write on,” she suggests after a minute. She stands up, wrapping her cotton blue robe around herself, concealing her pajamas as she walks over to the kitchen counter. It takes her a bit of digging around, but in one of her junk drawers, she finds a pen and a small notepad. She makes her way back over to the table and sets the items down in front of you. “Can you write down your name for us?”

You don’t move a single muscle.

“It’s okay, honey. Just write down your name—”

“Best we don’t push her too much,” Joel warns her, holding out his hand to stop her from coming too close into your space.

You glance up at him, your lips parting slightly.

“Don’t worry,” he tells you. “You ain’t gotta tell us anythin’ until you’re good and ready. Alright?”

Tommy clears his throat. “Joel? Can me and you have a quick word in private please?”

Your heart skips an anxious beat.

No, wait! Please don’t leave me.

Less than eight hours ago, you’d been wary of this man, unable to fully trust him. Now, just the mere thought of him leaving your side puts you on edge.

“S’fine, we’re just gonna be out in the hallway,” he assures you. “It’ll only be for a minute or two.”

Realizing you didn’t want to be left alone with her, Maria jabs a thumb over her shoulder towards the gas powered stove. “I’m going to make myself a hot cup of chamomile tea. I can boil water for an extra mug if you’d like some?” she offers, warmly.

You’d turned down food and water already, much too afraid to accept anything from her. However, a warm drink did sound tempting and truth be told, Maria did seem like a nice woman. She’s Joel’s family—maybe it wouldn’t hurt to at the very least try and trust her too. 

Finally, you nod your head.

“Great,” Maria smiles, looking pleased. “I think it’ll do you some good. Chamomile is very soothing. It helps me relax—something that’s hard to do when you have a fussy six month old,” she kids as she whirls around and goes about preparing the tea. 

After making certain that you’ll be fine without him, Joel follows Tommy out into the hallway. 

“Joel, what were you thinkin’ bringing her here?”

“What the hell are you talkin’ about?”

Tommy sighs. “We need to be careful about who we bring into Jackson—”

“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me right now? You worried about this girl bein’ a threat?” Joel stares at him in complete shock. “You serious, Tommy?”

“For all we know, she could be a threat. She didn’t want to give up her weapons, Joel! She even took a swing at Keith!” He hisses. “And she did it in front of a fuckin’ crowd!”

“He put his fuckin’ hands on her—”

“She didn’t cooperate, Joel. You know damn good and well what happens when someone isn’t willin’ to cooperate with the rules. It leads to nothin’ but trouble and you know it as well as I do,” Tommy says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Her first impression here wasn’t a good one. And to make matters a whole lot worse, we don’t know anythin’ about her. It’s a risk takin’ her into the community.”

Joel can’t even believe what he’s hearing. 

“So you’d rather I just left her out there alone?”

“Look Joel, we don’t know what she’s capable of,” Tommy reminds him, quietly. “If she’s managed to survive out there all on her own for this fuckin’ long, then who the hell knows what she’s done or what kind of blood is on her hands—you might be thinkin’ that she’s some helpless little victim, but maybe she’s not. Hell, we’ll never know because the girl can’t fuckin’ talk. Or maybe she just won’t talk. Either way, we’re runnin’ a huge risk by takin’ her in without knowin’ who the hell she is or where she came from.”

Joel glares at him. “Listen here, whether she can’t talk or just won’t talk, that doesn’t fuckin’ matter,” he says. He pauses briefly, long enough to take a peek back into the kitchen where you’re still sitting at the table. After she’d finished making the tea, Maria took the two steaming mugs and sat down in the chair beside you. She’s now trying almost desperately to get you to write down your name on the notepad. He immediately notices the way that you’d started wringing your hands together anxiously in your lap and he knows you’re debating in your mind whether or not you should reveal your identity to the stranger. He turns back to his brother with a frown. “She ain’t a helpless victim. She’s a survivor. She saved my fuckin’ life out there, Tommy. If it weren’t for her, I would be dead right now.”

“And where is she gonna stay?”

“With me and Ellie, of course.”

Tommy almost laughs. “Wait. You’re gonna be in charge of her? Someone who won’t fuckin’ talk to you? Whose name you don’t even know? Are you serious?”

Joel doesn’t even think twice about it. “Yeah.”

“Look Joel, I know you can be kind of a fuckin’ dumbass, but you can’t possibly be this goddamn dumb, big brother. Think ‘bout it—”

“I already have thought about it. She’s stayin’ with me.” Joel shrugs. “I know it ain’t gonna be easy, but maybe I can get her to trust me enough to talk to me.”

Tommy raises an eyebrow at him. “You really think she can talk and she’s just choosin’ not to?”

“I think she wants to talk, but she can’t. She’s too scared right now. But if I can get her to really trust me—”

“That girl ain’t gonna fuckin’ trust you, Joel.”

“She trusted me enough to come to Jackson,” he says, fiercely. “That has to mean somethin’, I just know it does.”

Tommy exhales a long and heavy sigh. He already knew just how fucking stubborn his brother could be. There’s no changing Joel’s mind once it was made up. 

Maria steps out into the hallway. “No luck,” she tells them, shaking her head lightly. “I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s been through. If she’s too terrified to even give us her name—”

“It must’ve been somethin’ real bad,” Joel finishes for her. He places his hands on his hips. “I think I might have some idea of what happened to her.”

“What do you mean?” she asks. 

Joel lowers his voice as he briefly tells Tommy and Maria about the scars he’d seen around your wrist. “Like she’s been in handcuffs or somethin’,” he murmurs. “Think it could’ve been FEDRA?”

“Possibly.” Maria thinks it over for a moment. “There’s also a good possibility that she’s been a prisoner in a slave camp.”

Slavers.

Joel’s stomach churns at the thought of it. He’d heard about those kinds of groups, about the cruel and inhumane things they did to their prisoners. 

He fucking hoped that wasn’t it. But something in his gut told him not to be so goddamn naive. 

“Listen, we feel for the girl, Joel. We do,” Tommy admits. “And we’re willin’ to give her some time to adjust, same as we did with you and with Ellie—same as we do with all newcomers. But regardless of what she’s been through, she’s still gonna need to pull her weight around here, just like the rest of us. She’s expected to take on work duty just like everybody else. It’ll be hard findin’ the right job for her if she’s not gonna talk to anyone so the sooner you can get her to break her silence, the better it’ll be,” he advises. He points a finger at his brother. “From this point on, she’s your responsibility.”

“I can handle it, Tommy.”

“For your sake, I really hope you can.”

“Good to know you’ve got faith in me,” Joel makes the sarcastic comment under his breath, but he’s certain Tommy had heard it. “It’s gettin’ pretty late now. She’s exhausted and so am I. M’gonna take her back to my place and get her settled in for the night.”

“What ‘bout Ellie?”

“Best she just stays here with you two tonight. As soon as she’s up in the mornin’, you can bring her on over to mine if that’s alright with you and Maria?”

Tommy nods. “You got it, brother.”

“Besides, I figure it’ll give me a bit of extra time to think of how I’m gonna explain everythin’ to her.” Joel suddenly realizes that he hadn’t given much thought about how he was going to tell Ellie about you—how he was going to explain your condition to her and how you’d be sharing a roof with them from this point on. 

Tommy chuckles. “Yeah, good luck with that one.”

Rolling his eyes, Joel roughly shoves past him and back into the kitchen. 

You hadn’t drank the tea Maria had made you, but you’d wrapped your hands around the ceramic red mug to warm them up. 

“C’mon,” he beckons to you with his hand. “Let’s go. M’gonna take you home now.”

Home. 

The word rinds oddly in your ears.

You stand up from the table.

“Wait.” Maria picks up the notepad and pen, handing them over to you. “Here. Take these with you. Just in case you decide you want to use them.”

Joel pushes through the front door, switching on the lights in the foyer of his home before stepping aside to let you in. He watches as you stand there at the door looking rather apprehensive. “It’s okay, darlin’. S’just me and you here tonight.”

Carefully, you step over the threshold. When was the last time you’d even set foot in an actual house? One with running water and electricity?

You couldn’t remember.

Joel shuts the front door behind you and locks it. “Let’s go upstairs.” He gestures for you to follow him up the cherrywood staircase. “It’s pretty late, so I’ll show you the rest of the house tomorrow in the mornin’,” he promises you over his shoulder. At the top of the staircase, Joel switches on more lights that illuminate a short hallway. He points to a door at the end of it, stating, “That one there at the end, that’s mine. This one here is Ellie’s. We also have a third spare, it’s right across from her.” He nods with his head towards the door of the bedroom he’d been referring to. “Go on. Open it up and check it out for yourself.”

You want me to open the door?

Seeing your expression, Joel chuckles. “Go on. It’s alright. There’s nothin’ bad in there. I promise.”

You momentarily hesitate. Fingers trembling, you reach out and grasp the brass door knob, slowly turning it and pushing the door open. You peek inside and flip the light switch next to the door frame.

You gasp. Holy shit, is this fucking real?

The spare bedroom is fully furnished with light oakwood furniture—a dresser up against one wall, a desk nestled in the corner, and two nightstands on either side of the most comfortable, full sized bed that you’d ever seen. The décor is minimal, but whoever had occupied the space before had a clear adoration for simple, warm, earthy tones. You nearly smile at the shades of mud brown, forest green, and autumn orange. Setting your things down on the hardwood floor, you make your way over to the bed and sit down, planting your hands firmly on either side of you. You relish in the softness of the cream colored duvet comforter. 

“I’m guessin’ you like it.” Joel can’t help but grin a little. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go see if I can get you one of my shirts or somethin’ that you can sleep in. Make yourself comfortable.” He spins around on the heel of his boot, disappearing into the hallway. 

Unable to resist, you lay back onto the bed. Your body sinks into it, melting right into the mattress. It feels like a fucking cloud. 

Joel reappears in the room just seconds later. “I can see you took what I said about makin’ yourself comfortable quite literally.” His voice causes you to shoot back up into a sitting position. Joel stands there at the door holding a long sleeved, navy and white flannel shirt in one hand—in the other, he’d been holding a gray hooded sweatshirt and from his arm swings a brown canvas tote bag. “Not too sure what you would prefer to sleep in. I figured you might want somethin’ on the warmer side. Here’s a couple options to choose from. I’ve also got t-shirts if you’d rather sleep in one of those.”

Standing up from the bed, you walk over to him and he holds out the articles of clothing for you to see better. It’s his flannel you gravitate to the most. Taking it from him, you run your fingers over the fabric.

“I can throw your clothes in the washing machine for you first thing tomorrow so they’ll be clean by the time you wake up,” he adds.

You breath out shakily.

A fucking washing machine.

“Overwhelming, ain’t it?”Joel drapes the hooded sweatshirt over a nearby chair, deciding to leave it for you as well. “Trust me, I get it. I felt the same when I first got here with Ellie. It took a lot of time for the both of us to adjust to this new way of life after being out there for so long,” he confesses to you. “The important thing is to take it one step at a time, darlin’. And somethin’ is tellin’ me the next step for you is probably takin’ a nice hot shower?”

Your mouth falls open. A hot shower? Hot?

“You’ll have to share a bathroom with Ellie.” Joel leads you out of the bedroom and to another door adjacent to yours. He shows you the bathroom, telling you which knob in the shower was for hot water and which one was for cold water. “You can use Ellie’s shampoo, m’sure she won’t mind. I’d offer you some of my own, but I don’t think you’ll wanna walk around smellin’ like sandalwood and spice.” Joel hands you the canvas bag he’d had draped over his arm. “Here. Should be pretty much everythin’ you’re gonna need. There’s a bar of soap, a couple clean washcloths, a toothbrush, and a tube of toothpaste. There’s also a razor.” He pauses. “It’s a men’s razor, one of mine I’ve never used, but I reckon it does the job just the same as a woman’s razor.”

Amused, you quirk an eyebrow at him. What the hell are you trying to say? That I need to shave?

“Not that you have to use it,” he adds quickly, his cheeks burning bright red at what you thought he had been insinuating. He shifts awkwardly from boot to boot. “I tossed it in there just in case you’d want to, but you ain’t gotta use it, that’s not what I meant at all—”

Deciding you don’t want to see him squirm, you lift a hand up to stop him and shake your head.

Truth be told, you actually couldn’t fucking wait to shave your legs.

Calm down, cowboy. It’s all good.

Realizing he hadn’t offended you, Joel relaxes. “I’ll let you get to your shower. You take as long as you want, but just try and leave some hot water for me since I’m next,” he chuckles. “As soon as we both get all cleaned up, we can meet downstairs in the kitchen for a quick bite to eat before bed. Deal?”

Deal.

He’s about to leave you to it when you stop him, grabbing his arm. Wait a second, Joel.

Joel’s eyes meet yours. “Yeah?”

Thank you.

Your gratitude might have been silent, but it was there and he knew it. 

Feeling brave, Joel reaches up and places his hand over yours for a moment, his thumb brushing against the softness of your skin. “No need to thank me, sweetheart.” 

Letting his hand drop away from yours, Joel then turns and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him to give you your privacy. 

Once you have the hot water running, you kick off your boots and start to peel off your clothes, tossing them into a pile on the floor near the door. Completely naked, you turn your back towards the oval shaped mirror hanging over the bathroom sink, unwilling to take a look at the scars on your body—painful reminders of the cruel punishments you’d endured during your time in captivity. 

You grab the toiletries from the tote bag Joel had given you and set them on the side of the tub. Pulling the yellow floral curtain aside, you step into the shower and position yourself directly underneath the scalding hot water, letting it burn your skin to give you an entirely different kind of pain to think about, even if it was just for a minute until your body adjusted to the temperature of the water and it no longer hurt. 

You begin washing yourself, trying your hardest to keep from crumbling. But you couldn’t. Lump in your throat and a tightness in your chest, tears brim your eyes, ready to fall. 

You’re willing to let them. 

Two years. For almost two fucking years, you had been suppressing your emotions. You’d been in a constant survival mode, there had been no time to feel anything. And now here you were, standing in a fucking shower with all the freedom in the world to just let it all out. 

Silent sobs wrack your body, bringing you down onto your knees. 

Joel’s shower had been a quick one.

You hadn’t left him very much hot water—but he couldn’t even be mad about it.

He pulls on a pair of light gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He haphazardly dries off his hair and makes his way downstairs, knowing you would be heading down there any minute now to meet him like you’d agreed. Without much time to make a proper meal for you to eat, Joel goes about the dimly lit kitchen and prepares a couple of cold turkey sandwiches. He’d just plated them and set them on the table when the soft padding of bare feet on the hardwood floor prompts him to look up. 

His breath catches in his throat. You stand there in the doorway wearing nothing but his flannel shirt. The hem of it falls to the middle of your thighs, and it takes everything in him not to think about the fact that you weren’t wearing anything under his shirt. His fucking shirt.

Clearing his throat lightly, he makes sure not to let his gaze wander where it’s not supposed to. “I bet you feel a lot better, don’t you?”

You sigh softly. Oh, you have no fucking idea.

Noticing you’re holding your hands behind your back, Joel shoots you a puzzled look. “What’cha got there?”

You bring your arms forward. Clutched in your hands is the notepad and pen that Maria had given you.

Although he takes it as a sign that you are willing to communicate with him, Joel knows better than to get too far ahead of himself. He’d wait until you were ready to make the first move and he’d follow your lead. “I made you a sandwich to eat,” he tells you, pulling out a chair at the table. “C’mon, come have a seat.”

After you sit down, Joel goes over to the sink and fills two glasses of water, one for you and one for himself. Setting them down on the table, he finally takes a seat across from you—that’s when he notices the redness in your eyes. You’d been crying. Even though he wants to ask you if you’re alright, Joel decides against it for the time being and the two of you eat in comfortable, tranquil silence.

“I can make you another one if you’re still hungry,” Joel offers when you polish off the last couple bites of your sandwich. 

Shaking your head, you place your hands on your belly signaling that you’re full. You’re not, though. You’d eagerly scarf another three of them down if you could, but you were a lot more exhausted than you were hungry and you couldn’t wait to crawl into that bed upstairs and get some sleep.. 

Joel studies you. “You okay, darlin’?”

You shrug. This has just been a lot to process.

“I know it’s gonna be tough for you. It’s like I told you earlier, it’s gonna take some time to adjust to your new life here in Jackson. But I need you to know you ain’t alone anymore. I’m gonna be here to look out for you. And trust me, I know you don’t really need me to.” Joel pauses and shoots you a crooked little grin. “Hell, you took a swing at Keith. You’ve got bigger fuckin’ balls than half of the men in this town. Includin’ myself.”

You let out a huff of amusement from your nose and the corners of your mouth tug into a small smile—you don’t try to force it down. 

Joel blurts the words before he can even think to stop himself. “You’ve got a real nice smile, y’know.”

Biting down on your bottom lip, you move your empty plate off to the side and grab your pen and notepad. You swiftly scribble something onto the blank page, then slide it across the table to Joel. 

He picks it up, an odd sensation fluttering inside his chest when he realizes what you had done.

You’d written down your name for him.

He says it out loud, and then looks up at you.

“That’s a real beautiful name.” Sincerity drips from his tone, going hand in hand with his compliment.

Cheeks burning, you glance down at your hands, which you’d begun wringing together on top of the table. It was out of nervousness, but this kind was different. You couldn’t quite explain it. 

“I know it’s gonna take a whole lot more than a hot shower and a sandwich to get you to trust me. But I swear that I’m gonna do whatever I can to show you that you ain’t got anythin’ to be afraid of. Not with me around. Okay?”

Okay. 

You open your mouth, trying to repeat the word back to him. 

Joel’s eyes widen slightly. You wanted to talk to him—you were actually trying to talk to him. But it was a clear struggle. Something wasn’t letting you find your voice. 

Clamping your mouth shut, you sigh and sink back into your chair. I’m sorry. I can’t.

“It’s okay,” he says, softly. “We’re gonna take this one step at a time. Together.”

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Dec 11th

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hii!! i have a a fic that needs to be found!!

so what i can remember from it, it was a modern au, and lwj was a nascar driver of sorts (he was a professional car racer, idk if it was exactly nascar) and wwx was either dating him or married to him, and was pregnant (not with a-yuan). i remember a plot point being that lwj’s manager (i think) was angry with wwx because he was supposedly distracting him from racing.

i even have a quote from one part of it, if it helps the search: “Then came the day of Lan Zhan's final race. Wei Ying was only a month and a half from his due date, he could barely get around without sitting every ten minutes, but he absolutely insisted that he go. Even A-Yuan stayed home just to see his a-die's final race.

Thankfully, Lan Huan was with them and promised Lan Zhan he would take the best care of him while he finished his race.

It was about halfway through, Wei Ying and A-Yuan both cheering loudly for their favorite person, when Wei Ying suddenly stopped. His hand went to his stomach as he stood still as a statue for a brief moment.

Lan Huan had noticed and quickly moved to his side.

"A-Ying?"

"The baby is coming." The words left him just as the bikes sped past their section, his eyes wide as he looked to his brother-in-law.”

thank you!!! :D

FOUND? My Heart is the Finish Line by UseMyMuse (E, 29k, WangXian, Bikerji, dadxian, Mpreg)

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2. Hi so I thought I booked mark this or added to my collection of podfic but I can't find it so here's what I remember and I think it was in the summary where wwx remains skeptical of the Jin because he got an invitation for his nephew's 100th month celebration but still skeptical so he disguises himself as a woman and he bumps into lwj and lwj helps him and they pretend like he's in a wheelchair because if he stands up they will instantly know that he's a male April tends to be a woman the whole way through I think at the end there was a confrontation where the jin what's his face cornered him at the path where he was attacked in canon and his brother was there as well and he found out about his golden core and also lwj finds out about it as well @constancebloodstone

FOUND? My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, [Podfic] My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by neiread (derenai))

FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels, [Podfic] Cold read of "Wei Wuxian, Who's That?" by bumbledees by KeriArentikaiPods (KeriArentikai))

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3. Hi, I've been trying to find a fic i saw on here it was a modern au I think where lwj and wwx were living together (i think because of quarantine not sure) it was A/B/O and dark!lwj forced/ Bitched omega wwx?

FOUND? the twisting of secondary genders by HeavenlySkyfarer (E, 7k, WangXian, Modern, A/B/O, Non-Consensual Secondary Gender Modification, Extremely Dubious Consent, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Forced Heat, Baby Trapping, Questionable Use of The Quarantine As A Plot-Device For Questionable Porn, Dark LWJ)

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4. Hello! Trying to find a fic for my sibling. Modern AU, no powers. The Lans are some kind of big business and surprise Lan Zhan with an arranged marriage (Possibly to Yanli?). He tries to turn it down and goes home to Wei Ying, which is how we find out that they're secretly dating.

There was also a scene where at Yanli and Lan Zhan’s first date, Wei Ying and he both tells her about their relationship. She's surprised but supportive.

And at the end they reveal themselves to both families in a big confrontation.

Thank you! They can't find it anywhere and now I want to read it! 😆 @loremipsumflotsamandjetsam

FOUND? I think 4 is A Sequence of Coming Outs by kippalittlefox, but it seems to be deleted.

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5. Looking for a post 1st siege of bm fic. Jc only participated in siege to try to get to brother first and smuggles injured wwx back to lotus pier and hides him, jc forgot a-yuan existed and when he goes back for him can't find him and thinks he's dead (lz saved yuan, doesn't know wwx is alive). Multiple pov. Wwx acts as baby jl's nurse/nanny - the baby is the only thing keeping him going. Kid xue yang see wwx w/ baby one day and is like - rich & easy mark I'm so pitiful, and adopts himself a wwx caregiver for himself by being I'm so pitiful (he thinks he's such a slick manipulator - but is also confused by the clan dynamics cause who is this nanny to be trusted alone with an heir in a hidden spot by the river) meanwhile jc thinks the new street kid is sus but no way can he tell wwx he can't keep him. Might be Golden core reveal. Wip still? Anyone know this fix? It was really good, ao3 I think.

oh I think jc may have also been hiding wwx from the people of Lotus Pier too, so he was kinda under house arrest (out of necessity for his own protection) to the private areas of the family wing. And wwx and jc r both really changed by everything, wwx is really quiet and is like calm simple pleasures (a mourning parent & everything he lost) and jc has to step up and deal with emotions while figuring things out. Being the plan and emotions guy now that those sobs can't. Bro reconciliation wip

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6. Hi! So I've been trying and failing to find this fic that I know but can't remember the name. If you could help me find it, it'd be great. It's a no golden core transfer (I THINK jc time traveled and stopped it)(I also remember that madam yu was an abusive piece of work and when they were leaving lotus pier after the fight, she didn't want to give zidian to jy.) Jiang Yanli becomes sect leader and inherits zidian and kills wen zhuliu with it. I also remember she did it not with fighting stances but with dancing moves and it happened in meishan. In the end she even becomes chief cultivator and wwx is an inventor and helped change the tide of war and if I remember correctly he also designed a fire whip for jc. Ah also meng yao is a good person in it @raven-hale

FOUND? Moments of Revelation by meyari (T, 133k, ChengSang, WangXian, XiYao, POV JC, Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, Character Death, not anyone we care about, Time Travel Fix-It, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Chronic Pain, Chronic anxiety, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Chronic Mental Health Issues, Assassination, renamed MY, Families of Choice, Unreliable Narrator(s), Demonic Possession)

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7. hi hi! thank you for all that y’all do!! i am hoping y’all can help me find a fic i’ve read that iirc goes something like this: wangxian in an arranged marriage, and i think LWJ was an emperor? he ignores WWX at first and sends him to an ill-maintained palace away from the main palace. WWX then starts a farm there, etc. and soon it becomes a thriving business?? they meet again when WWX tries to get a certain fruit in the main palace/LWJ’s main residence that he wants to plant and sell. then LWJ is smitten and starts to win WWX back/courts him!

FOUND? 我的皇后是農民 | sowing seeds in the cold palace by sweetlolixo (E, 84k, WangXian, Imperial Palace, Emperor LWJ, Imperial Consort WWX, Farmer WWX, Angst, Romance, Wingman LJY, Wife-chasing-LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Best Boy A-Yuan)

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8. Hiii

This is for any fic finder.... Whenever you have time but I'll appreciate it, if you make time for it earlier.

I read this fic not too long ago but I forgot what it was called and most of the plot with it🤦🏻‍♀️

So basically, LZ and WY time travel to last to CR study time and well they know they love each other and all that.

One of the main scenes that stood out was WY challenging JC to a duel to leave the jiang sect with all his belongings and no like image issues to both and the sect. JC loses horribly and is enraged but has to comply as the duel occurs in front of 2 sect heirs Jin Zixuan and LZ, also NH. And LQ and LXN are also present so like he had to keep his word.

Thanks for all the work you do!!! I really appreciate it! @ffaddictsrn

FOUND? but I figured it out, then made my way back by MichelleFeather (G, 19k, WangXia, LQR & LWJ, LQR & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Married WangXian, Established WangXIan, WWX dies but has a time travel array, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Time Travelling LWJ, Time Traveling LQR, Good Uncle LQR, Good Parent LQR, Jiang Family Bashing, Objective: Get WWX Out of Lotus Pier, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, spanish translation available in author's note!)

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9. Hey, i'm looking for a fic but i can't remember the title. The main story is WWX got raped but won't tell anyone, then i think he met mianmian (? not sure) and she told him he should tell LWJ. Meanwhile, LWJ found like a group of bandits that were raping someone and did a rescue mission, then found wwx's red ribbon in a box full of items that the bandits took from their victims.

That's all i can remember from the fic, hopefully that's enough to find it. Thank youu

FOUND? Don’t Leave Me (Waiting for You) by Bury_A_Friend (T, 25k, WangXian, JC & WWX, WIP, Attempted Sexual Assault, Recovery, WWX Protection Squad, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation)

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10. I am looking for fic I have seen here but unfortunatelly didn't bookmark it. It's about Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng both losing their cores and both of them getting thrown into Burial Mounds together. That's all I remember from that describtion. Thank you.

FOUND? at the end of a storm (is a golden sky) by KouriArashi (M, 106k, WangXian, JC & WWX, JC/WQ, JC & JYL & WWX, JYL/JGY, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Developing Relationship, Slow Build, Politics, Intrigue, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everybody Lives, Eventual Happy Ending, Chronic Illness, jiang family feels, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical political bullshit, post sunshot, After the first few chapters anyway, occasional ooc emotional maturity, mostly for JC lol)

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11. helloo!! I was hoping you could help find a fic for me! I'm pretty sure Wei Wuxian gets killed at Qiongqi Path and wen ning has to go to Koi Tower to tell his siblings and Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan is absolutely devastated and starts hyperventilating in front of Lan Xichen while calling him ' dada(?) ' Thank you!! @louvoilite

FOUND? The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

FOUND? in this place where we don’t have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX dies at Qiongqi path, Demonic Cultivation)

FOUND? To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, WIP, wangxian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug) where WWX dies is misremembered by the asker but all the other details match

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12. Hiiii, how are you guys? Im searching for a wangxian fic that was a meet-ugly. Running from a dog wwx barges into lwj house and lwj helps him and they continue to talk and see each other. @twlaei

FOUND! leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation, [Cold Read Podfic] leave all your love and your longing behind by Rionaa)

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13. Hi. Looking for a meng Yao/Jin Guangyao time traveling fic. All i remember is that Jin Guangyao is back in time and decides to make Lan Xichen his main concern and make him happy. One phrase from the description is "This time he'll make Lan Wangji happy and he can do that by keeping Wei Wuxian alive" or something like that. Thank you @whatevereveryday

FOUND? a micro utopia born as the overture plays by tardigradeschool (T, 18k, XiYao, WangXian, Canon Divergence Fix-It Marriage, Fluff, Scheming, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Kid Fic)

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14. Hi! I'm having trouble finding a fic. All I remember is that Wei Wuxian had his kidney taken to pay a debt to the Wen and got extremely sick and left A-Yuan at a fire station because he was about to die and LWJ ended up adopting him.

FOUND? I'll Take Such Great Care of You by CheekyBrunette (G, 50k, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ & WWX, Modern, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Fluff, Family Feels, Domestic Fluff, Angst, LWJ Adopts LSZ, LSZ-centric, LSZ Needs a Hug, i think it's a canon-typical tragic backstory, so i will say there will be mentions of dangerous and uncomfortable situations from the past, but probably nothing worse than the source material, Panic Attacks, Claustrophobia, Nightmares, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Organ Harvesting)

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15. okay I know you guys do fanfics so you can ignore this if you want;

could you help with finding an artist? they're on tumblr and they have these super gorgeous drawings of mxtx's media. the style makes it look like it was drawn primarily in ink, with one or two colours added in for contrast. usually only one character at a time. other than that, very minimalist.

thank you in advance!!

i'm absolutely not sure about any of these BUT: meltesh28 safaux pippuns lotuslate infossaeo you could mean aoya

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16. Hello! You were able to help me find a couple stories a few weeks ago, and I was hoping for some more help. First story, its been a long time since I read it and I am not sure if I am remembering it correctly, but I vaguely remember a story where WY and JY were secretly raised as assassins by Madam Yu. (the rest moved to an ITMF post) @marietsy40-blog

FOUND? all the problems we could solve by Stratisphyre (T, 20k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, LXC & LWJ, Modern, Getting Together, somewhat non-linear, Fluff and Humour and Violence, Meet-Cute, Identity Porn, Thieves, a bit of a leverage vibe)

FOUND? 🔒 my dear there are secrets here i will carry them home (into that ground i won't go quietly i'm bringing my crown) by ravenditefairylights (M, 20k, JC & WWX, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Character Study, Canon Temporary Character Death, yzy and jfm are the 'look at what you did you gave them anxiety' is talking ab, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Dysfunctional Relationships, Insecurity, Self-Esteem Issues, Unreliable Narrator, Assassin WWX, Weddings, Canon Divergence) I also thought of "Moments of Revelation by meyari " (already linked for request #6) but I don't remember if WWX is also trained as an assassin in that one FOUND? basically i've found a bunch of fics where Jiang Cheng is raised to be an assassin and a few where WWX was raised to be an assassin (e.g. The Tragedy Of Concubine Wei by The_Dark_Ghost (The_Indian_Ghost) (E, 2k, WWX/WX, WWX/WC, WangXian, Concubine WWX, Emperor WRH, , Bondage, Assassination, Assassin WWX, Secret Relationship, Assassin WQ, Canon-Typical Violence, Dismemberment, Blood, Trauma, Light Dom/sub, Sub WWX/Dom LWJ) but not one where they both were.

FOUND? Bittersweet purple by Mariianadii (G, 9k, WWX & YZY, JFM/YZY, JC & YZY, CSSR & YZY, JYL & YZY, Jinzhu/Yinzhu/YZY, JC & JYL & WWX & YZY, WIP, Familiars, Protective YZY, Good Parent YZY)

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17. Hi. I’ve been scouring tags and trying to find a fic but have been unsuccessful. The fic is set in Lanling (or there about) where Lanling is moreso an imperial palace. WWX is a healer and his son is A-Yuan. One day LWJ and LXC stumble in gravely injured. They were something like outlaws/bandits etc. that were working against the Jin. LWJ and WWX fall in love over caring for each other until WWX is asked to go to the palace as a physician. I would be so thankful if you had a link to it. Hopefully if it’s been deleted i can find it through other channels such as way back. @iznaluvr

FOUND! A Heart Made of Jade by makkurokuro93 (E, 67k, WangXian, historical au, ancient China, politics, drama, romance, love triangles, one-sided LXC/WWX, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, switching, fluff, eventual relationship, Doctor/Apothecary! WWX, Heroic Jianghu Bandits! (and Fugitive Princes!) LWJ and LXC, and Emperor! JGS)

NOT FOUND what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 45k, WangXian, MY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Adopted WWX, POV Multiple, warning for JGS behaving exactly as expected, child endangerment, Brother Feels, Minor Character Death, [Podfic] Cold read of “what builds a home” by Stratisphyre by KeriArentikaiPods (KeriArentikai)) also I dont' think this is it unless the requester is misremembering some details but the plot beats are very close to this fic so I wanted to link it just in case

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18. I don't remember the title but to summarize the content of the fanfic :

Posted in Fanfiction net

Female Wei Ying / Male Lan Zhan

Wei Ying was not adopted by the Jiangs

WWX is a rogue cultivator

She has a somewhat close sibling relationship with Nie Mingjue ( i think since he was depressed after she died)

She was somewhat ignorant of stuff about society

She dies while she was turning into a demon or something after finding out children being raped by nobles

She got reincarnated into a farmer family, she had younger siblings.

Lan Zhan was depressed and suicidal via alcohol poisoning. Lan Clan found out he was in love.

Sent a letter to Lan Zhan because she was of marriage able age. Lan Zhan came for her hand in marriage.

She also made an array that converts resentment energy into spiritual energy and elevates the cultivation of the person using it.

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19. ok im pretty sure it was an anon fic which is why im having so much trouble finding it but all i remember is that wwx was sort of a vampire and was in real bad shape so wen qing sent for lwj to come help him and wwx had to drink his blood? it was burial mounds era but im not sure which canon it was

FOUND? Vandalize by The_Gourmet_Gamer (E, 66k, WangXian, Modern, Vampire, Hurt/Comfort, Forbidden Love, Religious Guilt, Homophobia, Anxiety, Eventual Happy Ending, Blood Kink, First Time, First Kiss, Smut, Consensual Non-Consent)

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20. hi im looking for a fic where wwx is revived and he's shocked to have niblings and apparently lxc was the one who "killed" wwx so everyone kinda hates him especially lwj who joined the jiang sect bc of it. thanks!

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[laterreurofficial]

Hi! I found this au today and it's SOOOO interesting to me!! I literally scrolled through every single post about it, lol. I do have some questions of my own (a few of them actually, I don't expect all of them to be answered! Just answer which ever you want!):

- You mentioned that Paris is under quarantine, but also established that Paris is vital to the France economy, plus there's the fact that so few people are actually connected to Hawkmoth (like, around 2000, but Paris has a population of 10 mill). So, would there be any pull to allow some Paris citizens to leave Paris? Provided that they haven't been marked by Hawkmoth? Like, maybe only very skilled workers would be allowed to leave? And only a certain number of them?

- About Paris being quarantined, I can't remember if this is a thing in the show, but is there a reason why Hawkmoth only affects people in Paris?

- you mentioned a research fallacy studying akumatizes.... Do they.... Actually help? Like, is their research ever helpful?? Does Ladybug ever ask for their findings? Or are they rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic?

- is master fu more.... Evil? In this au? I mean, he did give radioactive jewelry to two kids, that will forever affect their lives, and permanently mess them up. Was he not aware of the effects it could have on the kids? Or, like Tiki, did he choose not to tell them? Even if he didn't, he must have had his own reasons for giving some powerful and dangerous jewelry to two kids??

Thank you for listening to my questions!! You've created an awesome au, I can't wait to see more of it!

Paris is under a complete and total quarantine. People can come in, maybe, but they sure as hell can't go out. Felix, Amelie, and Lila enter Paris post-lockdown, and they are not allowed back out. There are actually guards posted with orders to shoot anyone who tries to escape. Commerce and such doesn't completely end, products can be transported in and out, and non-physical communication continues, but it does get notably worse. MAGIC JEWELRY CAN'T SAVE YOU FROM ECONOMICS and Hawkmoth is. very scary.

In LT, it's a range issue. The butterfly miraculous has a set distance you can send the little magic butterflies, and besides that, Hawkmoth here is doing terrorism with the goal of getting his hands on the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous, which he knows are also in Paris after his first akumatization. Why would he make a villain and have them march all the way through the barricade, even if he could?

The general public knows next to nothing about Hawkmoth other than A. he can possess people if they get too upset and B. these people then go on to cause mass death and destruction. This is very scary, a lot of people think he's he devil, and also mostly why the whole quarantine gets set up. The emergency government division researching the akumatizations mostly kidnap people and collect useless information, but some of their data turns out to be relevant, even if it's only verifying the obvious.

Fu is both deeply panicked at the time he passes on the miraculous and too trusting in the process. He gives Marinette and Adrien the miraculous when the first akuma attack has already occurred, and generally knows that if all else fails, the Kwami will mold these already good kids into people who can solve the problem at hand. It's just that the process of adjusting to the miraculous and the frequency of the akuma attacks makes their lives hell. He's from a place where the Kwamis' toll is accepted as a worthy price for the big magic powers, the side effects are invisible to him, as a fellow holder, that's part of the job description.

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Solar return chart observations (2019)

Scorpio rising at 29 degrees

🌪️That year was my most traumatic year.

🌪️There were countless transformations (mostly endings and also new life-changing beginnings) in that year.

🌪️I lost many friends. I got gossiped by the whole class. The whole class didn’t talk to me. I was slut-shamed and they even spread rumors about me being pregnant while I was just gaining some weight. I was notorious with bad reputation in my school. My first love left me. I tried to run away with my first love. My parents caught me and grounded me for several months. I was literally in solitude. I had no one by my side. Both emotionally and physically. I can even write a whole damn book about this year.😭

🌪️However, I learned how to stay alone happily in that year. (It was not an option. The universe was like BAM you need to encounter THIS to achieve THIS success or whatsoever😃).

🌪️My whole personality before and after that year was so different that no one couldn’t recognize me after that year when I went back to school.

Moon in 1st house conjuncts ascendant (in Sagittarius at 0 degrees)

🌪️Maybe due to these traumatic events, my emotions were running high all the time.

🌪️Even though I tried to hide my pain and act like a typical scary silent scorpio rising, people still attacked me because I looked so vulnerable.

🌪️I cried almost everyday in that year.

🌪️Also I gained weight like A LOT MY FACE WAS LIKE AN ENORMOUS MEAT DUMPLING👹👹👹

**I also notice that I gained weight so easily last year when I had scorpio rising even though my moon was in 7th house in Taurus. Might be because of Taurus moon but Idk, scorpio rising year scares me hell a lot now.😺**

Jupiter in 1st house (in Sagittarius at 18 degrees)

🌪️I gained tons of weight because of my only coping mechanism : binge eating and also due to covid and quarantine.

🌪️I felt like food was the only escape in my life and I gained like 60 lbs.🤦🏻‍♀️

🌪️However, I had lucky academic opportunities.

🌪️I had to change my tuition because everyone including the teachers slut-shamed me and only because of that transformation, I finished high school with high marks and now I’m in medical school.

🌪️Thanks to my new teachers from new tuition and also those stupid bitches who believed everything they heard without clearly thinking as grown-up adults.😍

Saturn conjunct Pluto in 2nd house (in Capricorn)

🌪️My self-esteem declined so low that I rarely even went out in that year.

🌪️I felt like no one wanted me and I questioned about my worth like thousand times.

🌪️Throughout the year, transformations related to self-worth and self-love questioned my existence.

🌪️I was always thinking like “do I even deserve to eat this or go to this or be friends with them?” every damn time my mom asked me what I needed and every time someone approached me.

Neptune and Lilith in 4th house (in Pisces)

🌪️My whole family was very confused about me.

🌪️They even thought I was possessed by some ghost because I acted very unusual eg I couldn’t control my anger and I kinda self-sabotaged and I just bursted out and cried so suddenly when I was at home (that was just my trauma response I mean I don’t really know how they expected me to act after all those punishment they gave me and personal attacks received from my ex-mates)😺.

🌪️My parents kept really close eyes on me because they were worried that I would commit su-ici-de and they also had their respective assumptions about me but at the same time, they also outcasted me and thought I was really a slut who slept with lots of men because I did many reckless things without thinking about consequences.

🌪️I also often had intense vivid dreams and nightmares.

🌪️I was addicted to vapes and used them secretly in my room in that year.

🌪️So effed up🔫

Chiron in 5th house (in Aries)

🌪️My first love broke my heart.

🌪️My first serious heartbreak.

🌪️I had to take about 9 months to fully move on from him.

🌪️My inner child got hurt and my creativity and self-expression left my soul in that year.

🌪️I lost my silly child-like spirit in that year.

Uranus in 6th house (in Taurus at 5 degrees)

🌪️At first I was planning to study really hard to prepare for my matriculation exam but due to covid, there were huge unexpected changes in my routines and habits.

🌪️My plans got ruined.

Venus in 7th house conjuncts Amor (in Gemini)

🌪️Amor asteroid represents soulmate.

🌪️I met my first love and fell in love with him like a fool.

🌪️Everyone warned me because they saw red flags🚩🚩🚩🚩but I was blindly in love and was like “I’m gonna marry him”😭😭.*dies of embarrassment*

🌪️That was my first time that I gave actual commitment to someone and I felt like he was my soulmate.

🌪️I couldn’t let go of him for so long.

🌪️I wrote songs about him.

🌪️I wrote short stories about him.

🌪️It was bitter-sweet but now it’s just a memory.🌌

Sun in 7th house (in Gemini)

🌪️My main focus was on relationships relationships RELATIONSHIPS and I strongly desired to build meaningful social connections rather than superficial ones in that year.

🌪️My hidden enemies also pulled their masks off lmao I had to deal with them the whole year because they kept saying things about me that I didn’t even know I did.😩

Mercury conjunct mars in 8th house (in Cancer)

🌪️I remember that I was fully in my hermit mode the year I had this placement.

🌪️I searched articles about how to attack those arseholes spiritually but didn’t really take an action because I believed in karma.🧘🏻‍♀️

🌪️I was always reading books about magic, detective, occult and death and I even thought about committing a su-ici-de because I was severely depressed.

🌪️I was alone but also so blunt (I think I was just trying to protect myself) every time someone tried to befriend me.

🌪️I cursed a lot and my anger issues were like high up in the sky that one time, the wall cracked because I punched while I was angry and I’m just A GIRL🎀💕🥰).

Vertex in 9th house (in Leo at 15 degrees)

🌪️Maybe because of all of this, I started to pray to Buddha every single day in that year.

🌪️I suddenly became so religious and I felt like I only had him by my side.

🌪️My beliefs about religion expanded and I started to learn about other religions too in that year.

🌪️Also fated events occurred at my school so yeah vertex can say a lot about your upcoming year.

🌪️Immediately CHECK YOUR VERTEX IN YOUR SOLAR RETURN CHART RIGHT NOW!!!🥱

My scorpio ascendant was in my natal 5th house

🌪️My main focus was on relationships and dating as I’ve already said.

🌪️I also think I was so fertile in that year or maybe horny?

🌪️I wanted to get pregnant with my first love and I was only 14 at that time💀💀💀 (I know I was so silly but I was just a kid so I forgive myself for that *dies of embarrassment again*).

🌪️Sex education and vapes and drugs might be normal for teenagers in western countries but in my country, they’re like really taboo topics and parents biggest nightmare was their drug addict children getting pregnant😭.

🌪️Almost everyone did not dare to discuss about those openly in those days.

🌪️Also I was just 14 at that time so it’s not my parents’ fault that they stopped me and restricted me too much but however, their punishment was directed in a wrong way and that’s why I had to find other ways to suppress my pain. I don’t know who to blame, myself or those so-called friends or my parents😭.

So in conclusion, it was a very hard year and very life-changing and unforgettable but it shaped me into who I am today so I’m really happy to receive all of those new experiences. English is not my first language so please bear with me if I made some mistakes.🫰🏼💕

Also you can ask me about two placements (maximum) you want from your solar return chart. I’ll answer them as soon as I get free time.❤️

My mood in 2019 as GIF be like:

[flightrising]

This is now a Fallout fan account. We will not be taking questions at this time.

MUSIC: Zur, Inon, composer, "Fallout 4 Main Theme," Fallout 4, Bethesda Softworks, November 2015

[Dragon Information] Yellow Poison/Toxin Ridgeback

[Apparel] Scavenger's Weapons, Journeyman Satchels, Powerpack Coat, Black Cat, Shabby Top Hat, Dented Iron Boots, Ruthless Claws, Copper Steampunk Goggles

[VIDEO DESCRIPTION] The scene is a dusty, foggy desert location as the Fallout 4 Main Theme plays. A shadowed figure approaches and the fog clears to reveal a long-necked dragon yellow dragon with green accents. He's wearing apparel that appears scavenged and a shabby brown top hat. On top of his head stands a black cat who is wearing an identical top hat. A talk module that reads JAKE and Talk appears and then disappears. The BEAN and Talk module then appears next to the cat. The cat is selected and the following green text appears on the screen: Another settlement needs our help. I'll mark it on your map. Above the pair the following words appear: Scarred Wasteland, Talk to the dragons at Quarantine Zone #128. After a moment all of the overlaid text fades off screen. The talk modules appear and disappear in rapid succession as the video fades to black.

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

My AO3 acount

writershapeholeonthedoor

My Masterlist on Tumblr

Requests

SUPERCORP

One-Shots

Yellow Sun: Lena had never been more comfortable in her entire life

It's Cold Outside: 6 times Lena feels cold and 1 time Kara promises to keep her warm

Good Luck Kisses: There's a new trend around

You marked more than just my skin: Kara gets a tattoo and Lena is an tattoo artist

Dino gear: Kara’s main goal is to make Lena happy

You look perfect: Lena can't stop staring

I'm slowly dying (with or without you): Lena has a panic attack, Kara’s there

Old friends: Sam attends Alex's wedding.

Baby Driver: Lena doesn't know how to drive and Kara offers to teach her so she can take her license, however, driving proves to be harder than Lena thought it would be.

Drabbles

Kara declaims short poems at Lena part 1

Kara declaims short poems at Lena part 2

Supercorp at Quarantine part 1

Fanart/Gif sets drabbles (inspired by fanarts or gif sets from other people)

Wives spending a cozy night at home

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Kara explaining her tattoos

Lena’s Birthday

BISHOVA

Slumber Party: Yelena wants to have a slumber party tonight.

That is not cutlery: Yelena keeps coming back and Kate just might end up wanting her to stay.

CAROLNAT

I Wanna Believe (that we're a masterpiece): Natasha seems to be unable to take care of herself, so Carol decides she will be the one to do that.

WANDANAT

Pillow talk: Natasha is back from a mission and all she wants is to see Wanda. Wanda, however, is already enterteined with another activity.

Take Care: Everyone tries to warn Wanda what a bad idea it is to fall in love with the big, bad, scary spy.

TWILIGHT

Drabble: Cute Rosalie and Charlie bonding moment.

Bella is high: Bella smokes weed.

FLORENCE PUGH X READER

Sunday Plans: It's a lazy Sunday morning and Florence has an important question for you

Happy Together: A cute unplanned date night with your girlfriend, Florence.

Black widow: Cooking With Flo is back and you make an accidental cameo that get the entire world to know about you relationship with Florence.

Kiss me more: This is the first time your friends are meeting your girlfriend and you're excited about it.

Sunrise in the East: Reader is very happy having one-night stands or having friends with benefits, avoiding any serious relationship for a while now. However, things change and she suddenly starts to think that dating wouldn't be all that bad.

SCARLETT JOHANSSON X READER

Mrs Hollywood: It's not always easy to date a Hollywood star.

Make up your mind: You ask Scarlett out on a date.

Mayores: Someone sends you flowers and your girlfriend isn't happy about it.

ELIZABETH OLSEN X READER

Marry you: During an interview, someone asks you to marry them and your girlfriend isn't happy about it.

Marry you (part 2): Your girlfriend proposed, your friends are happy for you, and you still have work to do.

Marry you (part 3): It's time for the world to know about your relationship.

Cool kids: Elizabeth meets your son.

Love me harder: You are having a nice day out with Elizabeth when a paparazzi stumble over you.

Happier than ever: Your last relationship was toxic and you're still coping with that.

Only girl: You and Elizabeth enjoy a quiet night at home.

She's so lovely: Elizabeth introduces you to the world.

Lay all your love (on me): You get hired to be Elizabeth’s love interest in her new movie and nothing could prepare you to how your life would change upon meeting her.

Skin: *SMUT* There are times when you need Elizabeth to consume you.

Runnin' home to you: After months of trying, it’s time to tell your wife that you're pregnant.

Dog days are over: Elizabeth isn’t a dog person… but you are. After the puppy interview, you try to convince your girlfriend to take one of them home.

Tattooed heart: You have tattoos everywhere and your girlfriend suffers from severe anxiety. You learned to walk around with Sharpies to help her out.

Into you: A quiet day at home with the person that consumes your every breath.

| Last updated: Jan. 20th, 2024.

[imeriayapping]

i would loooove to know more about the loscar helmet artist one! & the f1 driver x moto gp one too please <3

Omg one of my faves!!!

About helmet artist I'll try to be brief bc i have 5k of words written about it and i don't want to go over all of it😭😭

Logan pics up drawing in f3 bc he's bored bc of the quarantine (only digital at the time) but mostly leaves it when season properly starts

After that season his and Oscar's ways go separate directions and he picks up drawing again, his next year being so uncertain gives him a lot of time and he even gets some actual physical helmets to paint. After that he starts anonymous page for them (I'm very proud of name @ art_for_hunt for it) and start posting designs there.

He gets two seasons in f2 and one as reserve driver before getting to f1 while oscar is already there for two years. They lost all contacts in that time even, but Logan still yarns (?) For their friendship so when he sees oscar in his first race(in 2023) he starts making a helmet about their friendship. Which oscar buys almost immediately but never wears. Logan's almost forgets about whole thing but then oscar does announce it as his helmet for miami gp when they both race

It gives logan hope that their friendship still can be repaired (spoiler - it does get repaired)

And for MotoGP oscar and f1 Logan: literally got this idea today so it isn't very detailed but oscar, mark and Jenson all are riders instead of f1 drivers and mark is still his mentor. He and Logan know eachother from teenage years but not irl - they meet somewhere online (maybe a forum about racing or twt) they instantly become friends and that doesn't change throughout years. They sent eachother voice messages but don't ever show their faces bc it's nice to have something private without being judged

That's till the moment where logan goes to a MotoGP race or just some visits to Oscar's team. And the moment he hears oscar speak he goes "THE FUCK" mentally but tries to stay calm bc maybe he's just delusional. Any doubts go away the moment he starts speaking and oscar looks at him just as shocked

That is all that i have for now, thanks for asking!!!if you have any other questions I'm always happy to elaborate

[mariacallous]

Americans on November 5 will be electing a wartime president. This isn’t a prediction. It’s reality.

Neither candidate has yet spoken plainly enough to the American people about the perils represented by the growing geopolitical and defense industrial collaboration among China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea. This axis of aggressors may be unprecedented in the potential peril it represents.

Neither candidate has outlined the sort of generational strategy that will be required by the United States to address this challenge. Irrespective of whether former President Donald Trump or Vice President Kamala Harris is elected, this will be the unavoidable context of their presidency. One will become commander-in-chief at the most perilous geopolitical moment since the Cold War—and perhaps since World War II.

In that spirit, Washington Post columnist George F. Will this week compared the 2024 US elections to the 1940 US elections, when the United States hadn’t yet formally declared war on Imperial Japan, Hitler’s Germany, or Mussolini’s Italy.

What was different then was that one of the two candidates, incumbent President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, sensed he was about to become a wartime president and was acting like it. FDR, wrote Will, “was nudging a mostly isolationist nation toward involvement in a global conflict” with his 1937 “quarantine speech” on aggressor nations and through his subsequent military buildup.

FDR’s opponent was Republican businessman Wendell Willkie, who like FDR was more internationalist than isolationist, in the tradition of his party’s elites of that time. “In three weeks,” Will writes, “Americans will not have a comparably reassuring choice when they select the president who will determine the nation’s conduct during World War III, which has begun.”

The point is that just as World War II began with “a cascade of crises,” initiated by the coalescing axis of Japan, Germany, and Italy, so today there is a similar axis—China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea. Will reckons our current global crisis began no later than Russia’s 2014 seizure of Crimea.

This isn’t the first time that I have quoted diplomat-historian Philip Zelikow in this column. Writing in Texas National Security Review this summer, Zelikow reckoned that the next president has a 20-30 percent chance of being involved in worldwide warfare, which he differentiates from a world war in that not all parties will be involved in every aspect or region.

Zelikow, who recently expanded on these ideas among experts at the Atlantic Council, reckons that the next three years mark a moment of maximum danger. Should the United States navigate this period successfully, alongside global allies and partners, the underlying strengths of the American economy, defense industry, tech, and society should kick in and show their edge over those of the authoritarians.

The problem in the short term is that the United States is facing challengers in Russian President Vladimir Putin and Chinese leader Xi Jinping, who may see a window of opportunity in the United States’ domestic distractions, a defense sector not yet adequate for emerging challenges, and an electorate that questions the value and necessity of US international engagement. Both leaders might calculate that acting more forcefully against Ukraine and Taiwan now could produce a greater chance of success than a few years in the future.

Wrote George Will: “From Russia’s western border to the waters where China is aggressively encroaching on Philippine sovereignty, the theater of today’s wars and almost-war episodes spans six of the globe’s 24 time zones.” He says this is what “the gathering storm” of world war looks like, borrowing the title of the first volume of Winston Churchill’s World War II memoirs.

Will charges the two presidential candidates with “reckless disregard” for failing to provide voters “any evidence of awareness, let alone serious thinking about, the growing global conflagration.”

If that sounds like hyperbole to you, it’s worth reading FDR’s third inaugural address in January 1941, almost a year before the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, which prompted Congress to declare war on Japan the following day.

“To us there has come a time,” said Roosevelt, “in the midst of swift happenings, to pause for a moment and take stock—to recall what our place in history has been, and to rediscover what we are and what we may be. If we do not, we risk the real peril of isolation, the real peril of inaction. Lives of nations are determined not by the count of years, but by the lifetime of the human spirit.”

War isn’t inevitable now any more than it was then. When disregarded, however, gathering storms of the sort we’re navigating gain strength.

“In the face of great perils never before encountered,” Roosevelt concluded, “our strong purpose is to protect and to perpetuate the integrity of democracy. For this we muster the spirit of America, and the faith of America.”

[cienie-isengardu]

[MK1] Bi-Han & Kuai Liang. Good brother? Evil brother? Nah, just different reactions to trauma, part 1

Author's note: the first part is not directly focused on Kuai Liang and Bi-Han as characters but at the worldbuilding, our knowledge about Lin Kuei and tradition that shaped Sub-Zero & Scorpion, and Liu Kang's acceptance of things as they are.

Lately it feels like Lin Kuei fandom split into either Bi-Han’s supporters or Kuai Liang’s supporters and the dispute over who is a good brother and who is not is an ongoing issue. This is greatly upsetting because both men have their share of flaws that sometimes fans exaggerate to demonize one or another. For me though, the brotherly conflict is not about who is good and who is bad, not even who is right and who is wrong, but about how two men groomed since childhood to be a living weapon deal with the trauma in totally opposite ways. As in, one is rebelling against the tradition and the other willing to uphold the system. 

With Smoke, the adoptive yet no less traumatized brother, stuck in the middle of that.

Bi-Han and Kuai Liang being survivors of a great psychological and physical abuse is the most true for previous timelines, however hear me out - just because Lin Kuei falls now under Liu Kang’s authority it does not automatically erase the possibility of both brothers experiencing things that no child should. To better illustrate my point, let’s take a moment and look at the Empress Sindel and Umgadi system. 

Sindel in general is presented as the ruler who does not seek an open conflict with Earthrealm and whom Liu Kang openly admires. As Fire Lord said himself, Sindel was destined to “rule Outworld firmly, but fairly” and it is her rule that brings peace to the otherwise conflicted Outworld

Liu Kang, story mode: Its past has been difficult. Though the last thousand years of Empress Sindel's reign have been a true golden age... the memories of that strife still linger.

and

Sindel's Bio: Her early reign marked the start of a new Golden Age.

That is what the character's Bio and the main story mode outright says or implies about Sindel. 

But then intro dialogues bring a different side of the beloved Queen. The people infected by Tarkat illness are exiled, their property confiscated by Sindel’s edict 

Kitana: When you became ill, your assets were taken? Baraka: As required by your mother's edict, Princess.

and in result forced to slowly die in poverty far away from healthy citizens. Those who sympathize with suffering infected people and won’t “report them for quarantine” are treated like criminals, as was seen when Li Mei and her men disrupted the Royal Family’s procession while leading arrested and tied up people.

The bad treatment of infected people, according to Mileena and Baraka endings, will improve thanks to the new Empress, who not only reaches a hand to suffering but would go so far to reveal her own illness to reduce social stigma against the sick. Mileena is seen as hot-headed, violent and not the best material for a Queen compared to Sindel, the supposed wise and kind ruler or even compared to her younger sister, Kitana. But it is the brash Empress that would actually make an effort to change her Empire for better.

Similar things can be said about the Umgadi system, which forces Outworld families to give up their first-born daughters for a training that will turn their children into living weapons to uphold the Royal Family’s rule

Liu Kang, story mode: Umgadi, like Tanya, are warrior priestesses... Selected from the first born daughters of Outworld. From infancy, they are trained to defend the royal family."

The daughters in question will never know their biological family or where they were born to ensure their absolute loyalty to the Royal Family, even though not every candidate will finish their training. Once they obtain the title of Umgadi, they can’t marry or be in a relationship, we have no idea if they even are paid anything for their service. So far Li Mei is the only known woman to leave Umgadi, and she did so due to the death of Sindel’s husband for which she was unfairly blamed. And again, the tie-in material implies that the change to Umgadi system will happen because of Mileena, who is willing to reform an organization that is deeply rooted in Edenian tradition, not the “kind and good” Queen Sindel. 

So just because a character is set on the Good Guys Side, it does not mean the said character is crystally good with no flaw at all or that breaking up with tradition is inherently evil, because the tradition alone is just a system of beliefs, practices or behaviors established in the past and passed down from one generation to another within a group of people or society and not a determinant of being good or bad. 

Now, the important thing - Umgadi and Lin Kuei are very similar organizations. The similarities are especially true for old timeline(s) Lin Kuei, as we have more or less idea how training adepts looked through the ages. However, what we learned through sources about Liu Kang’s version of the clan still brings a lot of parallels to Umgadi - and I think we all can agree that objective speaking, the Umgadi system is very unfair to first-born daughters and benefits only the Royal Family.

Through the story mode and intro dialogues, Liu Kang does not question the nature of the Umgadi system. Quite the opposite, the intro between Geras and Tanya suggests that Umgadi was Liu Kang’s innovation

Geras: The Umgadi was one of Liu Kang’s best innovations. Tanya: My order sprung from his mind?

A man who does not see anything wrong with enrolling little girls into never-ending servitude to the Royal Family, logically thinking, won't question the process of making Lin Kuei warriors nor the nature of their duty.

In previous timelines, Bi-Han and Kuai Liang as children were kidnapped and forced into the life of assassins by their own father (original timeline) or unspecified Lin Kuei member, presumably grandfather (alternative timeline). Their choice was to adapt to this hardship or die and so they survived and both became great warriors on their own. The fandom has been torn about their brotherhood for years, as if Bi-Han was a good brother or not. Personally, I do not think this was even a matter of one brother being inherently good and another inherently evil, as both men are the result of the abusive environment in which they grew up. And I truly can’t stress this enough - Bi-Han and Kuai Liang were survivors of great abuse and pathology more than anything else. 

Now, in Liu Kang’s timeline Bi-Han and Kuai Liang were born into a place of power, as both are sons of Grandmaster. Sub-Zero as the oldest was meant to inherit the leadership once his father would pass away, or possibly abdicate. So in theory, Fire Lord improved the living of both brothers. However, the same as the previous, both men weren’t given a choice, as Lin Kuei clan is bound to serve Earthrealm while their existence is kept in secret. 

Liu Kang said: “The Lin Kuei is a centuries old clan dedicated to Earthrealm’s defense” while Sub-Zero’s Bio adds “As the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster, Sub-Zero leads his ancient warrior clan in the defense of Earthrealm from external threats. For centuries, it has been their solemn task” and this is the tradition that will define the whole life of Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. Because they, as sons of Grandmaster, were expected to uphold and continue that service.

We do not have a full picture of how Lin Kuei daily life or training looks like in Liu Kang’s timeline, but the sources give some idea. And so we have an examples from story mode

Scorpion to Kung Lao: We're trained differently. It takes years to master our ways." 

and intro dialogues

Sub Zero: The Lin Kuei are trained from childhood.

confirming both brothers were prepared for their role as Earthrealm Defenders (Liu Kang’s Special Forces) since they were children. Scorpion’s words alone brings another vital clue, as “trained differently” is what distinguishes both brothers from Liu Kang’s chosen Champions. We could see a glimpse of that during the Lin Kuei mission in Ying Fortress, as both Sub-Zero and Scorpion did not hesitate to kill their enemy and Kuai Liang’s “fit of rage” illustrates well how brutal Lin Kuei can be in a fight.

As story mode and intro dialogues point out, Lin Kuei weren’t trained for the glorious yet honorable Mortal Kombat Tournament, as members of this clan have never been chosen to represent Earthrealm

Kitana: Why are Lin Kuei never Earthrealm champions? Sub-Zero: So that Outworld doesn't lose every tournament.

but they were trained to eliminate any threat to Earthrealm’s safety, be it by killing or capturing those whose activity concerned Liu Kang. As could be seen with the Lin Kuei brothers mission to capture Shang Tsung.

Intro dialogue Sub-Zero vs Reiko adds another detail about process of making Lin Kuei warriors:

Sub-Zero: To kill, one must be cold-blooded. Reiko: My veins are as iced as yours, Sub-Zero.

Thus we may assume Lin Kuei training was not just about a physical aspect but psychological one as well. Both brothers were prepared from childhood to kill - while that was never demanded from Earthrealm Champions. In story mode Liu Kang said:

“No tournament participant has ever been grievously injured or killed."

and

“I would never send my champions unwittingly into mortal kombat."

so I assume the reason Liu Kang send his Champions to search for Shang Tsung was A) threat of the sorcerer that wasn’t supposed to learn magic in the first place and B) they were in Outworld, so he couldn’t call for Lin Kuei without Sindel’s knowledge.

Another detail about Lin Kuei comes from Scorpion vs Nitara intro dialogue

Nitara: Had you ever known hunger, you wouldn't judge us. Scorpion: I have, and I will.

and though we don’t have an idea if Kuai Liang was forced to endure hunger due to training - as happened in old version of Lin Kuei according to Mortal Kombat novel by Jeff Rovin:

 Many young people died during training: some could not hold their breath for five minutes and drowned, others weren’t fast enough to avoid the weapons of the masters, some starved or froze or dehydrated when they were stranded, naked, in deserts or on mountaintops and told to make their way home. But those who survived were the Lin Kuei.

Or was that a reference to economic problems of Scorpion’s clan, which at some point faced so great famine that it touched even the son(s) of the ruling family. Whatever the case, it gives us a sense of hardship endured by Lin Kuei members.

This leads us to another detail - father’s teaching (tradition) mentioned by Kuai Liang and Tomas through the story mode:

Kuai Liang: Glory? We fight for duty.

and

Tomas: Our clan doesn't govern. It serves.

while intro dialogues adds

Raiden: The Lin Kuei won't be allowed to govern. Sub-Zero: We will not be frozen out, Raiden.

Furthermore it is important to note that every Liu Kang’s Champion had their own life outside the fighting - Johnny was an actor, Kung Lao and Raiden were farmers, Kenshi was Yakuza on path to redemption and saving his clan. Lin Kuei? Not so much, as Bi-Han’s Bio points out Sub-Zero leads his ancient warrior clan in the defense of Earthrealm from external threats. For centuries, it has been their solemn task. 

After the Tournament, the Champions easily will return to their life - in the case of Johnny, benefit greatly by making his own movies based on the events, while the Lin Kuei would come back to the never ending training in preparation to defend Earthrealm and repeating the cycle by pushing their children into the same service. And it would go like that for generations, if not for the Titan Shang Tsung’s meddling that interrupted the “natural” order of things.

Let’s establish another thing - namely Lin Kuei duty in recent centuries.

Sub-Zero’s Bio suggest the Earthrealm hasn’t be threatened in generations:

But Earthrealm hasn’t been threatened in generations, and Sub-Zero sees no point in limiting his clan to preparing for dangers that may never come. Under his leadership, the Lin Kuei will come out of the shadows and fight for its place as one of Earthrealm’s great nations.

This lack of need to dispatch Lin Kuei to eliminate threat is supported by intro dialogues:

Reptile: The battle against the sorcerers was your first real fight. Smoke: It was a baptism by fire, Syzoth.

and

Kenshi: How is it you haven't been to Outworld? Scorpion: Earthrealm's defense has never required it.

However Bi-Han alone suggest something else:

Story mode: After years of idleness, it pleases me to again face kombat."

And so do the information about their mother:

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Scorpion: I can only hope to live up to their example.

Sindel in another intro says, she knew the previous Grandmaster 

Sindel: I knew your father. He was a great man. Sub-Zero: Yet he never understood the Lin Kuei's potential.

So I think it is safe to assume Sindel was familiar enough with Bi-Han and Kuai Liang’s mother to praise her skills and is not just praising her out of politeness. But the thing is, Kitana’s intro confirms the Lin Kuei warriors weren’t chosen for the Mortal Kombat Tournament, so how did Sindel know if their mother was an excellent fighter? That to me suggests she either witnessed it outside the Tournament or it was reported to her and the latter may imply Bi-Han’s mother took part in eliminating the threat on Liu Kang’s order, maybe even in Outworld. We know from source material that Outworlders do not tolerate Earthrealm’s unauthorized activity on their land. However in the story mode alone, Sindel herself admitted that Liu Kang’s “interventions have kept Outworld at peace for centuries”

while the vast tie-in material agrees that Sindel’s Court is full of intrigues and dangers - both to the Queen and her daughters. So, if Liu Kang is a close friend of King Jerrod and Queen Sindel, it doesn’t feel that far stretched to think Lin Kuei could be dispatched to ensure the Royal Family's - and in greater perspective - Earthrealm’s safety.

Now, if there was no need for Lin Kuei service in the latest generations, why a woman

considered to be an excellent fighter - thus presumably in great shape

who also happens to be wife of Grandmaster - thus presumably having access to the best medical care the clan could offer

died in some unspecified time before main story happened? That doesn’t sound like a natural death, as Bi-Han and Kuai Liang are what? In their 30s at the worst? Which gives the chance she was a middle-aged woman, not an old person who dies out of age. The Grandmaster alone, also an excellent fighter, died in an accident, though story mode does not tell us what kind of accident it was supposed to be. Did it happen on a hunting trip? During mission on Liu Kang’s order? 

So again, for a supposedly peaceful time, it seems like Kuai Liang and Tomas are those who did not have much part in Lin Kuei activity - in contrast to Bi-Han and presumably their parents. 

Going further, the sources claims Lin Kuei clan is dedicated to defend Earthrealm from external threats, and indeed Lin Kuei warriors fought against vampires (Nitara’s people)

Bi-Han, story mode: As a boy I heard tales of battles against your kind. I had thought them tall ones.

and apparently their might is know in Outworld

General Shao: Finally, the chance to test the Lin Kuei's mettle. Sub-Zero: It will end with your humiliation.

However Lin Kuei apparently took part in solving the internal problems too, if Sub-Zero vs Kenshi dialogue is something to go by:

Kenshi: My ancestors say they've tangled with yours. Sub-Zero: Has it occurred to you to ask them why?

For a quick summary, through the sources, we learn that Lin Kuei:

were meant to serve, not govern

trained from childhood not just to be an excellent fighters but to be capable of killing

do not have a life outside their duty the way Earthrealm Champions do

endured hardship (hunger)

each generation is trained to perform their duty

and presumably, even in supposedly peaceful times, the fighters may not survive to an old age nor die in a natural way (the fate of mother and Grandmaster).

So I think that objectively speaking, we can agree that Lin Kuei does not benefit much from its service to Earthrealm, while Liu Kang got an excellent Special Forces that kept Earthrealm safe for centuries.

[Next part] Bi-Han and Kuai Liang and how Lin Kuei training affected who they are.

[aklitayl]

Because many people kept asking about the photo, I decided to do the post about Ice-pick Lodge and Pathologic on KRI-2005

Ice-pick Lodge (Nikolai Dybowski, Petr Potapov, Airat Zakirov, etc.) went on the KRI-2005 (Game Devs conference) to give presentation about first Pathologic game.

Here are some photos, and the info from their site will be under the cut:

! All following info are from their site. Nothing is changed.

The day before March 31, 2005.

Due to the most recent events, we are severely short on human resources.

After spending four and a half hours gathering the most necessary medical tools and supplies, we piled into an ambulance and set off. A crucial task lay ahead: to select a suitable location for the secret anti-infectious laboratory.

The famous doctor-epidemiologist, doctor of medical sciences, professor of the department of lethal fevers of the state medical school Pestitsky Innokenty Savvovich comprehensively studied the epidemiological situation in the city. Having thoroughly considered all possible options, the professor opted for the famous hotel "Cosmos".

Honorable Innokenty Savvovich confirmed that in the next three days the presence of leading epidemiologists, sanitarians and attending physicians was necessary here.

As usual, equipment, service personnel and specialists (including Innokenty Savvovich himself) were brought to the meeting place through the basement. In the same way, shortly before, materials were obtained from a certain studio Ice-pick Lodge, which, according to rumors, is engaged in the development of computer games.

The location of the secret laboratory was marked with portraits of the protagonists of the simulator of human behavior in an extreme situation. The simulator was given a catchy, spectacular name - "Pathologic (Mor. Utopia)". Unusual, and on the ear.

We were not alone in the basement. We watched a strict bearded man in a yellow T-shirt carrying tanks with kvass past the future laboratory. We decided to be sure to inspect it for symptoms of Febris sebulosae infestation.

The production of kvass requires water, and most local sources, according to Professor Pestitsky, are in critical proximity to the burial fields of the results of last year's experiments of the laboratory.

Tomorrow, don't forget - ampoules for injections, sedatives, bandages, and spare shirts just in case.

Day 1 01.04.2005.

10:00

The situation is critical. There's a whole exhibition here. Dr. Pestitsky suspects that the territory of the neighboring stand (and maybe the whole complex) is hopelessly contaminated! We are conducting research: we have taken samples of air and water from local sources.

We are waiting for the results of the analysis. The professor's appointment is scheduled for 12:00.

It is surprising that potential patients themselves turn to the professor. Instead of the usual search and forced delivery of patients in need of examination, our orderlies have to guard the territory of the laboratory from unauthorized entry.

11:00

The results of air and water samples show the undoubted presence of the virus (in our laboratory it is called Febris sebullosa).

It is necessary to conduct a general inspection and comprehensive examination of visitors to detect symptoms of infection.

It was decided to declare a quarantine.

The decision to completely sanitize the premises, according to the expert committee of epidemiologists, is premature, but is not ruled out.

12:00

The examination of visitors has begun. The professor and the nurse are working in protective suits, masks and gloves.

At the same time they started the presentation of the simulator of human behavior in the situation of epidemic "Pathologic (Mor. Utopia)".

Detailed familiarization with the simulator will surely increase the chances of survival for the simulants.

Strange behavior of examinees is alarming: up to 90% of patients ask questions about minimum system requirements and number of polygons. Probably, the consequences of inflammatory processes of the left cerebral hemisphere and hypothalamus are affecting.

The system (drip)is placed intravenously in the patient for immediate and complete entry of medical drugs into the bloodstream. No minimum requirements are imposed on the patient. Test sites were used by the lab last year, but their location is highly classified.

17:00

By the end of the first day of the lab, 45 visitors have been examined.

The results of the examination are delivered to the central laboratory for detailed analysis.

Day 2 02.04.2005.

10:00

All night long we analyzed the results. By morning a summary report was compiled:

45 visitors (40 men and 5 women) were examined for symptoms of Febris Sabulosa (later FS).

BP elevation up to 140/90 mmHg was registered in 12 people, up to 180/105 mmHg. - у 7. Venous filling up to 100% was registered only in 28 subjects, the average filling was 83%. Pupillary reaction is adequate in 95% of subjects: pupils constricted at direct exposure to light reflected by frontal reflector.

The classification of preuremic stages of chronic renal failure (CRF) with additional determination of proteinuria degree was used. Judging by the reaction to the test drugs taken orally by the visitors, the CPN syndrome was not detected in any of the examined patients.

Dynamics of laboratory tests revealed that in 6 patients the stage of FS compensation passed to the latent stage. Alarming signal. We proceeded to the choice of optimal medical preparations for prevention and treatment of the consequences of FS infection.

Prof. Pestitsky is inclined to the choice of drugs of mixed type of immune response (Th1/Th2).

The rationale for choosing immunocorrectors of this type is their ability to correct internal hemodynamics, stabilize the rate of glomerular filtration, and reduce FS activity. Analyzing the literature data, we can conclude that the following drugs meet these requirements:

(drugs description )

12:00

We continue to examine visitors. All those examined receive a certificate with the results of the examination, signed by the medical staff of the field laboratory, the certificate is stamped.

Subjects are easy to contact, but the introduction of quarantine has affected their number. The age bar has risen sharply. Yesterday minors prevailed among the patients, today are much less.

14:00

Some of the visitors have mutation effects. This may be due to the close proximity of the GSC booth, as our examination did not reveal any symptoms of FS infection in these visitors.

Immediate hospitalization is recommended for several patients. It is necessary to make sure that they do not disregard Innokenty Savvovich's advice - those who refuse will have to be forcibly loaded into the carriage.

It's good to know that the secret laboratory is very well shielded.

We are not taken for what we really are.

16:00

We're continuing to examine the visitors. All patients are taking the medications prescribed by Professor Pestitsky.

The chief physician has left the laboratory area and has come into contact with extremely suspicious, probably unwell individuals.

They ask not to stand on their roof - in such cases immediate hospitalization is recommended.

Forcibly loading the patients into an ambulance was not possible: we were beaten to it. I wonder who carried out mass hospitalization using buses?

To clarify this issue, we followed the buses, observing the rules of covert surveillance. The buses unloaded the potential simulants at the club "Slava"

The choice of location is not random. A healthy person would not go to such a place, a sane person would lack either money or determination. But by taking the Hippocratic Oath, we have condemned ourselves to spend 90% of our time with people who are not quite healthy. Do no harm!

Tomorrow, don't forget: silent shoes with soft rubber soles.

Day 3 03.04.2005

10:00

There is a high probability that FS is a lethal virus.

11:00

Examined a man in a yellow T-shirt. Strangely, no suspicious symptoms were found. Still recommended him to support the body's immune system with vitamins, as well as to familiarize with the simulation of human behavior in an extreme situation "Pathologic (Mor. Utopia)". The patient refused gently but resolutely.

12:00

A large number of potential infected people gathered at the booth. In order to prevent mass contamination, the Chief Medical Officer gave a presentation of the simulator.

Taking the opportunity, the medical staff of the booth unobtrusively examined the visitors.

12:30

Visitor Andrei Kuzmin broke away from the group of those examined and stayed for a closer look at the simulator. He refused a comprehensive medical examination.

The level of high-frequency vibrations of his brain waves put the nurse in a trance state for a while. The Chief Laboratory Physician explained to Mr. Kuzmin the operation of the simulator in detail. It is necessary to examine the Chief Physician - none of us are familiar with such details.

14:00

Mr. Malik Khatajaev, a visitor of the stand, refused to make a comprehensive examination.

However, he promised to send his colleague Mr. Pyotr Prokhorenko for examination. Mr. Khatajaev argued that if Prokhorenko showed symptoms of FS, all other employees of the Lesta studio would also be hopelessly infected.

15:00

An unidentified infected person in a coma was found by our paramedics at Buka's booth and brought in. The patient could not be saved.

The time of death was recorded and the body was sent for pathologic examination. Autopsy results confirmed that death was due to FS infection. The fact that the FS virus leaves non-living cells instantly is extremely important.

15:30

Possibility of fatalities from FS infection has been announced. Asking people to leave the booth area.

Examine visitors who were too close to the infected person at the time of death. Patients have no instinct for self-preservation. I wonder if this is the result of inflammation.

A detailed study and analysis of the collected material will probably qualify us for the Küfner Prize.

16:00

The mental state of the Chief Medical Officer of the laboratory is of serious concern to Prof. Pestitsky. Today the Chief spoke about the primitive methods of developing simulators of human behavior and the possible direction of their development.

Probably, stress, mental overload of the last days, contacts with infected people and unexpectedly serious attitude to the question of rabbit breeding are affecting him. He seems to really consider himself a computer game developer by now.

17:00

Paramedics found Mr. Prokhorenko in a coma. All symptoms were identical to the previous case. At their own risk, the paramedics took Mr. Prokhorenko to the field laboratory. The measures taken by the medical personnel allowed Mr. Prokhorenko to be resuscitated and partially brought out of the coma.

This fact suggests the possibility of overcoming the consequences of infection by activating the latent intellectual potential of the patient.

17:15

Lesta Studios employees have been recommended to undergo a comprehensive examination. The inhabitants of the neighboring orange booth are also recommended to be examined. They are clearly in a stage of extreme emotional agitation.

Also disturbing is the fact that they are interested in breeding rabbits (when discussing this issue on their faces appears an extremely spiritualized expression).

People with the letters DTF around their necks cannot but surprise: it seems that they acted as volunteers of our laboratory all three days, taking measures to reduce the number of visitors (especially middle school age) and solving organizational issues.

A commendable enthusiasm worthy of full encouragement.

18:00

A simulation of human behavior in an extreme situation was recognized as one of the most out-of-the-box preventive measures to combat epidemics.

Link on Dybowski's Lecture:

https://youtu.be/LbQpCmLELco?si=3hIRJoLp3qGPh6Iq

[dorkwalf]

Subnautica au part 15

The huge building towers them. It looked like nothing they've ever seen before. Black stone with gorgeous green markings and ancient writing. Tails gasps and walked up to a giant pedestal. "We need a key" The fox said looking at the plating.

"But where can we find a key at?" Knuckles questioned walking up beside Tails and placing a hand on the fox's shoulder.

"How about up here. Look this lamp and path have the same markings as the building." Amy spoke up Her jade eyes tracing the path.

"Good idea Amy!" Sonic smiles running up the path leaving us behind. They all are laughing knowing Sonic is happy to have his speed back and solid ground.

They smiled as Sonic raced back down the mountain a tablet in hand. Seventeen seconds. The island must be small. "This is all I could find. Looks like it's from the same material." Sonic grins.

"Well let's see then." Amy takes it and gently places it onto the pedestal. The markings glow causing everyone to gasp and Knuckles to pull them behind him, not trusting the ancient technology.

After a few seconds the see threw passage fades, and a welcoming buzz fills their ears. Knuckles walks in first. "Looks good. Be careful we don't know who or what is in here." The others nod smiling as they walk in. Sonic takes off but stays in sight. Exploring what he can with his speed. Amy walking with her hand along to wall to help keep track in case they get lost. Knuckles taking the lead checking around the corners even if sonic already blasted threw and Tails scanning what he can with his PDA system to get information.

As they walk, they see alien artifacts. Scripts and a few weapons. They pause when they see a giant machine-like pillar. Tails walked up to it hesitantly. "It looks like we need to put someone's arm in it." The fox cub fidgets eyeing it nervously.

Sonic was about to speak up when Knuckles stepped forward and took the place sticking his arm in so the other wouldn't have to. The machine powered on, and they all tensed as it stabbed into Knuckles arm causing him to hiss in pain. Amy ran overlooking for an off switch and tails immediately looked over wound, Sonic running around trying to find something to get Knuckles arm out but they all freeze when an alien language travels through the air. The translation slowly turned to English, and they all listen as it said infected people can't leave the plant.

Swallowing Amy turn to tails and with wide eyes asked. "Tails.... What does that mean?"

back

next

[tisthepamseason]

So - Taylor Swift & Florence Welch both have songs called Cassandra. Why is that significant?

✨First- Who is Cassandra, Anyway? EW.

Cassandra is a figure in Greek mythology, blessed with the ability to see the future & cursed to never be believed. She sees the fall of Troy before it happens but can't do anything to stop it (there's a lotttt more Cassandra lore, keeping it basic here).

In the 1940s, a French philosopher dubbed "Cassandra complex" to encompass situations where someone reacts validly & with reason and raises the alarm but is not believed until it's too late.

✨Second- What is Taylor's interpretation of Cassandra?

Taylor's Cassandra remains faithful and places herself into the myth, issuing warnings about untrustworthy individuals that went ignored by her peers, the media, and the general public - invoking her Reputation era. ("You can mark my words that I said it first in a morning warning no one heard"). She's telling the story of her Reputation era through Cassandra, who was famously ignored after giving warnings about the fall of Troy.

She references snakes in her cell, a double meaning:🐍 on her actual cell phone (hehe) & a reference to the snakes mentioned in the myth of Cassandra, where snakes whispered the future to her. She goes on to say, "so they killed Cassandra first because she feared the worst and tried to tell the town"..."do you believe me now?" asking if, after the witch hunts & death of her reputation, we believe her now that the truth has actually come out. She makes a point to say, "when the truth comes out, it's quiet. it's so quiet."

A line that I personally feel is very important within Taylor's story is "they say 'what doesn't kill you makes you aware' - what happens if it becomes who you are?" Changing the famous "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" to "makes you aware" is a very important distinction for her to make. Ever since she was made aware of the shady characters that exist within her world, she has been vigilant in order to protect herself, her art, and her integrity. Next, she worries that the struggles she went through will define her in the same way that Cassandra's struggles continue to define her today, which we've seen carry over thematically in albums she's released since Reputation.

In her outro, she reiterates: "When the first stone's thrown, they're screaming. In the streets, there's a raging riot. When it's BURN THE BITCH, they're shrieking... when the truth comes out, it's quiet. It's so quiet." Taylor Swift has not forgotten the volume of the voices that condemned her, or their apparent silence (lack of apology?) in the aftermath.

✨Third- What is Florence's interpretation of Cassandra?

Florence's Cassandra is a told a bit more in abstract, and comes after Florence believed that the music she was writing, as well as her own personal wishes pre-pandemic, seemed to call upon her the isolation that came during the pandemic.

She starts with, "I used to see the future and now I see nothing"..."Crying like Cassandra, I used to tell the future but they cut out my tongue" and tells a story of a Cassandra who had the gift of foresight, was cursed, and then was ultimately stripped of it & left to cope in the aftermath. Combined with the uncertainty & loneliness felt during the early months of quarantine, Florence's Cassandra is blinded, condemned, and left to question how she fits into the world crumbling around her.

[revryebread]

wild wild west

The door opens with a slam, and one of Bruce’s animatronics- Stuart- was in the door way, holding it’s leaking side. “Sheriff Wayne! There’s been- The Una Gang- they’re here, and they’re breaking people outta the jail!” It’s voice comes strained from behind it’s porcelain face, the gears in it’s voice box struggling to run on less fuel. 

It gets it’s message out, and it collapses onto the floor- a oily handprint smearing from the doorframe as it slumps into a pile of metal, the gears grinding to a halt. Bruce Wayne gets up and tries to level his emotions. He’d been prepared for this. He’d put away so many other problem citizens in his time, Trish Una and her crew would fall just like the rest. His hand is shaking when he grips the brim of his hat, and settles by the time it goes over his head. The title is something he hides behind. Bruce can be scared, but Sheriff Wayne has to be strong, else the people of this town would be helpless.

There’s a part of him who reminds him how he got this job, and who he was before he had the hat and gun, but he shakes it off. No time for second guessing now.

He moves to the doorway and kneels down to pick the badge off the deputy in the doorway, and pulls up his mask as he moves out into the sun. As soon as he steps into the heat of day, he can hear it- the sound of people yelling, the sounds of chaos and disorder. He narrows his eyes and begins to slowly walk towards the other end of the street where the prison is. He had taken over the old Saloon and repurposed it once the jails were full, and then next came the general store, and eventually an entire block of the town had been quarantined as a prison for people he’d found guilty.

A troublesome individual with a book was the first one who was running his way, quickly spotting Sheriff Wayne and trying to go for his book at his side. He was met with the business end of a gun, hitting him in the shoulder that was bending to reach for the book. He looked to him and tried to speak, but the words couldn’t cut through to the Sheriff, he had moved on to the next prisoner escaping, trying to scan for Una.

And there she was- standing at the stables with her crew. Two of them up astride the horses looking down. “What are you doing? People are going to get killed.” the voice he uses for the Sheriff is booming- deeper than his normal cadence. It’s an attempt to make himself more intimidating, and it usually works, but not for her.

She pushes away from her crew- the dark haired boy looks to the Sheriff and- it gives him a stop. He’s looking at him like he’s already a corpse, and he looks pitying about it. Like he’s never seen something more destined to happen. Trish pushes past people on her walk over, and the boy whispers with a voice that Bruce can almost hear- “You need to run.”

“How long?” Trish shouts over the crowd, and it parts for her, as if a ravine was cut from her to the Sheriff. “How long have you been in charge?”

The question is absurd to him- but he answers. “Four years. I’ve been here four years “ The weight of tose years sit on him- but he’s done the best he can in that time. There is so much evil in this world and he’s just one man. He says as much, but Trish narrows her eyes. She’s not listening anymore.

She asks him another question- a non-sequitor. “What sound does a train make?”

“What the hell are you talking about? Look- just help me get everyone under control here and you and your friends can walk free. Just stop wha-”

A gunshot cuts him off. His eyes dart down to the growing red on his chest, and then back over to Trish, who was holding her signature revolver, with a rose gold inlay to give it that pink sheen. She fires again, and again, and again- and when she empties that one she reaches to her other holster and pulls out a reddish gun that has had whatever inscriptions and markings shaved clean by a nail file. She unloads all 12 bullets into Bruce and flips the cylinder out, letting the empty casings drop to the ground.

He’s frozen in place, slowly falling backwards. He sees the boy with the bowlcut reach to the girl and the two of them share a nod, and leave on horse back in separate directions like they’re the only things moving at a normal speed. Trish turns her head and sees that they’ve left- beginning to run back through the crowd to her other crew member who’s still standing there. Her last crew member.

He hits the ground and sees the sky- letting his last breath out of his lungs. He sees a woman step over him and reach down to grab his hat off his body- the hat that used to be hers.

[randomficrecss]

Klance Fic Rec

been so busy guys but trying to catch up i promise!!

I dreamed you were a cosmonaut (of the space between our chairs) by iybms

T | 11K | 1/1 | getting together, flirting, kissing, near death experiences, mutual pining, canon compliant

"You know, you can be a pretty hard guy to find," Lance says, and his steps end at Keith's side, overlooking Orla'an canyon.

"Funny you always say that," Keith remarks, "since you find me, regardless. And," he finally glances at Lance, "…always wearing something weird."

---

Lance comes to Keith when he needs someone to pry him open.

Nameless by AveryScribbles

E | 97.8K | 22/22 | AU college, vampires, soulmates, major character injury, angst with a happy ending, blood drinking, slowburn

Lance McClain was not pale. He enjoyed the sun as much as any other, and though he was often run down or fatigued, this was due to his amounting college work, not his need to sleep upside down. He was everything a vampire wasn't. Oh, except for his constant cravings for blood, and the name in cursive imprinted on his wrist.

Since the name had appeared on Lance's thirteenth birthday, he'd been desperately waiting for the day he'd finally meet his soulmate. And then it finally arrives, delivering a boy that causes everything Lance had fantasized to come crashing down around him. Not only is his mate a human, but he's the kind of human that despises vampires. A hunter named Keith.

But matters of the heart aren't the only thing standing in Lance's way, for a much greater enemy is on the horizon, posing a threat not only to Lance and his family, but to Keith, too. The nameless are coming for them, and soon.

just come to me once by laallomri (absolute fav fic ever)

T | 94.5K | 3/3 | fluff, angst, pining, canon typical violence, post season 6

Lance’s smile widens. He leans forward, and the prickling in Keith’s chest gives way to butterflies, fluttering wildly in his stomach, and oh wow has Lance always had this many freckles, has he always had eyelashes that long, has he—

Lance pokes his cheek, right over the Galra mark. Keith blinks.

“I can’t believe you and your mom have matching face tattoos now,” he says, and it’s so fucking dumb, but it’s exactly the kind of dumb thing Keith has longed to hear, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s surging forward, almost knocking Lance back against Red’s paw, and throwing his arms around him.

In which Keith lives on a space whale, goes on a road trip, and (eventually) gets a boyfriend.

Like the Night Falling by iybms

E | 51.9K | 1/1 | rivals to friends to lovers, slow burn, astrophysics, sexual content

Keith reluctantly takes a lead role in an outreach program that forces him outside his comfort zone of solitary work. It would be a lot easier if he and his partner in the endeavor had anything in common.

Catch Feels, Not Covid-19 by Jenanigans1207

G | 20.2K | 7/7 | quarantine AU, covid 19, falling in love, confessions, artist keith

“Well, there’s really only one option, then.” Lance says as he steps further into the room. At least he looks equally as uncomfortable as Keith feels. At least he seems to know he’s broken their boundaries.

“Really?” Keith grinds out, but his anger is deflating. The stress of the situation is starting to wear on him and he just wants it to be over. “Because as far as I can tell, there are no options.”

“You’ll just have to come home with me.” Lance says and Keith balks. He physically feels the color drain from his face as he whips his head around to meet Lance’s blue eyes. He doesn’t even get the incredulous question off of his tongue before Lance is rushing on to explain. “My family visits Cuba every year at this time and since they closed the borders, they’re stuck there until this is over. So my home is completely empty which means there will be tons of room for you, too! And it’s only a couple of hours away, so we won’t risk getting caught anywhere in the middle. And it’s free.”

-- Or:

The coronavirus shuts down Keith and Lance's college and Keith has no choice but to go into quarantine with Lance.

At the Bottom of the Ramp by iybms

T | 12.2K | 1/1 | aggressive rollerblading, strong language, minor violence, getting together, rivals to friends to lovers

Lance is usually the first person to befriend new rollerbladers at the skatepark; it's a small community, and he's a friendly guy.

But not this time. This new guy looks the epitome of edgy and unapproachable, and he's stealing all of Shiro's attention.

[atomic-rattz]

guess who

In lipstick on the mirror

Are the lyrics to my obituary

In iambic pentameter, followed parameter

Crossing my eyes, dot my T's

I was delivered holding scissors

I live deliberately, I'm a quitter

And a winner anyway

Cause I never agreed to participate in this game

Won't follow my dreams

No, they've all got me waking up screaming

I can let them go from me

After all there is no "I" in team

And I'd rather be normal. Yes, so normal

I suggest that we keep this informal

Cause a normal human being wouldn't need

To pretend to be normal to be normal

Well I guess that's the least that I owe ya

To be normal in a way I couldn't be

C'mon, c'mon, and love me normally

If I could live in third person

Well I don't think life would be much worse than it is

In the current tense, presently

This sentence ending with question marks or dot dot dot

Is it courageous or escapist

To leave the quarantine when you're contagious

It may just be a cold

And besides I don't wanna get old

I drank myself to death to be the afterlife of the party

When the afterparty came, I was rolling in my grave

And I'd rather be normal. Yes, so normal

I suggest that we keep this informal

Cause a normal human being wouldn't need

To pretend to be normal to be normal

Well I guess that's the least that I owe ya

To be normal in a way I couldn't be

C'mon, c'mon, and love me normally

Now this is the part of the song where I like to talk to my audience

I like to tell 'em there's something I want from you hep cats tonight

I want you to look to your left, look to your right

Your 12 o'clock, three o'clock, six o'clock, nine o'clock, rock around the clock tonight

And I want you to find those points of no return, those singularities

Those burning rings of fire in the beautiful pupils of the beautiful eyes of the beautiful

Boy, girl, neither, both, or in-between that you brought with you tonight

And I want you to tell 'em how you really feel

I want you to tell 'em that you love the way they so seamlessly, like a dreamfully

So beautifully, oh so dutifully

Jam that square peg in the round hole in their heart

I want you to tell 'em that you love the way

That they don't stick out like sore middle fingers

That they crawl their way up the side of the bell curve

Stick their flag in the peak, and slide their way back down

I want you to tell them that you love the way that they're not maladaptive

Not malcontent, not malignant or maleficent, but rather that you love them

Exactly the way that everybody else is

I was nothing before so I couldn't have asked to be born

I'll be nothing again, so what am I between now and then

Is there nothing to fear? Cause shit's getting weird

So to God who made this man, you better have one hell of a plan

I'd rather be normal. Yes, so normal

I suggest that we keep this informal

Cause a normal human being wouldn't need. No

To pretend to be normal to be normal

Well I guess that's the least that I owe ya

To be normal in a way I could never be

C'mon, c'mon, yeah, I said c'mon, yeah

C'mon, c'mon, yeah, I said c'mon, yeah

C'mon, c'mon, and love me normally