#queer text? could be. just no homosexuality in sight really

[ratuszarsenal]

this evening we are pondering how and if there is any gay shit to be found between the inter-to-intratextual layers of beowulf

[deanismysavior]

I think y’all are confusing headcanons for canon. CANON: Mike and Eleven are dating and are madly in love. He’s loved her since he first saw her in the woods. They have difficult moments like all couples do but they have been together since season 1. Will has a crush on Mike but knows it’s likely unrequited. He is sad. Mike can be awkward around will sometimes. He is a teenage boy.

HEADCANON: Mike Wheeler is actually madly in love with Will and repressing his homosexuality or whatever. I know this because I got drunk on kaypeace theories and theories from beepbobop and Hawkins school counselor or whatever. He doesn’t love El, he only kissed her because she looked like a boy. Don’t you see how he gazes into Will’s eyes?

Like. Guys. ‘cmon. I get wanting more queer rep (even though y’all already have Robin but whatever), but you can’t write essays and make up theories and then get upset when the show doesn’t follow the headcanon you literally made up. Mike and El are CANON. Mike and Will are a theory.

Watch the show.

Okay sure, let's entertain this frankly homophobic take for a minute.

1. Mike and El are not madly in love. Mike literally could not say it or write it after having dated El for over a year. The only time he's been able to say he loves El is when she's about to die, both in s3 and in s4. He loves El, for sure. He cares about her and doesn't want her to die. Is he in love with her though? Look at the context clues here.

2. That boy did NOT love her at first sight. Like we've said to death at this point, he literally wanted to send her away upon meeting her. This is a fact. This happened in the text of the show. This is not me stretching or manipulating the evidence. This is apparent in the story.

3. Yeah, El and Mike do have couple troubles, troubles that they have not come back from. That have not been sorted through. They keep lying to one another and none of that has really been resolved. Their trust is still shaky at best after the confession. Also not me stretching, since we explicitly see Will and Mike talking about how El hasn't really spoken to him about anything that's been going on with their relationship post-confession.

4. Yeah, Will has a crush on Mike. But why is it "most likely unrequited" just because we haven't seen Mike date another guy? It was the 80s. Homophobia was rampant and his parents are Republicans. They live in a conservative town. Of course if Mike's interested in men he's not going to be out and proud about it.

5. Okay, sure, maybe repressed gay Mike is a headcanon, but there's a lot of context clues that point to this being a strong possibility. What's not explicitly said in media can sometimes be more important than what is. If you've ever taken a film class, you know the importance of symbolism and imagery, tone, narrative dissonance, parallels, allusions, metaphors, etc. so treating this specific "headcanon" as if it's just us making stuff up is to not be taking a critical read of the information the show is giving us.

6. Robin is a great character. Nothing about my love for Will and Mike's dynamic changes or overshadows how I feel about Robin. But you can't seriously tell queer people that we should just be happy and satisfied with the only queer character to get a real relationship and a happy ending to be a side character.

7. Mike and El are canon, but why am I not allowed to be mad about perpetuating an unhealthy relationship dynamic and romanticizing that? Why am I not allowed to be mad if they used Will as a plot device and didn't follow through on the narrative they set up all season? Pretty sure anyone would get mad about poor writing and a poor ending to a t.v. show they liked. Why is it only somehow a problem when people are frustrated about something that is narratively hinted at and supported when it has to do with queer people?

Anyway, I'm not going to answer any more of these anons coming to me with the same tired takes. I've backed up all of my takes with plenty of evidence from the show's canon, and you can look at them all here.

Anyway, have fun watching the show. Argue with the wall.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Run To You - Chpt.2

Summary: Steve calls Bucky to tell him he was right and the two get to know each other a little more. Still drawn to one another, the guys go out on their first date. Master list is HERE :)

Content Warning: mention of past child neglect/ abuse in regards to how Bucky lost his arm. It’s only a couple paragraphs but it’s depressing AF. 

Word Count: 3.3k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! There is a smidge of angst in this chapter and I had never really intended for it go that direction. Damn characters not behaving the way I want them to! I apologize in advance for giving you some sad feels on this one, I got myself with them too. But hopefully there’s enough fluffiness to balance it out. XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Becca sleeps the day away but it’s a restless fever ridden sleep with her waking up every few hours to cry that her stomach hurts. Bucky manages to catch cat naps while she sleeps but they’re both exhausted by the time the day is over. He manages to get some fluids in her once she’s fully woken up and she keeps most of it down, much to Bucky’s relief. He hates seeing his baby girl sick and is thankful for his medical training, so that he knows what to expect and look out for. It’s just past seven o’clock at night and while they would normally be doing Becca’s bath time routine, he doesn’t have the heart to disrupt her. She finally drank the rest of her Pedialyte and is half watching an episode of Wonder Pets while her eyes droop sleepily. He waits until her eyes stay shut for a few minutes before awkwardly scooping up the little girl to carry her off to bed. He doesn’t have a free hand to turn off the TV, having taken off his prosthetic the second he got back from the bodega, but figures he needs to go back out to clean things up for the night anyways. 

“Bucky?” Becca slurs sleepily as he lays her down in her bed. 

“Yeah, Becs?” He pulls up her comforter, getting it tucked tightly around her body like she prefers. 

“Love you.” she half says, half yawns. 

Bucky fights back the tears that prickle in the corner of his eyes. “Love you too, bug. Get some rest.”

Becca gives a little nod and then sprawls out into her usual sleeping position. 

Bucky shuts off her lamp and closes the door, leaving it open just a crack in case she needs him in the night. She seems to be getting to the otherside of whatever virus she’d caught but he knows it isn’t always a sure thing. He hopes he’ll only have to miss one day of work staying home with her but knows it’ll most likely be two.

There isn’t too much of a mess to clean up but Bucky busies himself with turning off the TV and clearing the coffee table. He’s washing the dishes and debating his dinner options when his phone buzzes angrily in his back pocket. Drying off his hand, he pulls out his phone and sees Steve’s name on the screen. Bucky swipes to accept the call and nestles the phone between his shoulder and jaw. “Hey, Steve.” 

“Bucky, hey.” Steve replies eagerly. “So I’ve spent the last six hours doing nothing but reading history articles and I gotta say, you were right.” 

Bucky smiles as he rifles through his cabinets for something to eat, “I suspected as much. How far off is it? Out of curiosity.” 

Steve sighs heavily through his nose and Bucky wondered how exasperated the other man must look. “It’s pretty fuckin’ terrible.” he finally admits.

Bucky laughs, “Wow, you really do know how to curse!” 

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, ya jerk. It was just… surprising, I guess, to see how much these so-called experts missed. Don’t get me wrong, I know some people had it okay and some people had it a lot worse, but the way they make the whole thing feel so… sterile... I don’t know. They don’t seem to capture the feel of the times. Like yes we had food rations, but they don’t tell you how small those rations were. And how even if you got your stamps you might not be able to find the food you had a stamp for. My mother had to go all the way to Queens one time just to buy eggs so we’d have something with protein to eat.”

“That sounds terrible, I can’t even imagine.” Bucky juggles the phone carefully as he pulls down a tin of tuna. 

“We made it, somehow. And it wasn’t all terrible all the time, but it was a sight worse than they make it out to be. It’s like that now too, isn’t it? The world isn’t quite as progressive as people like to think it is?” 

Bucky pauses, trying to sort out his words. “It is and it isn’t. I think my experience is a little different than most but it’s definitely not the rainbows and goodwill that they say it is.” 

Steve’s voice is low and rich like good bourbon pouring across the phone lines. “Tell me what it’s like for you, then.” 

Bucky stills, shocked by the raw earnestness of Steve’s words. There’s an undercurrent too, like something whispered in a lover’s ear in the dead of night. It stirs things inside Bucky that he hasn’t had the time or inclination for in a really long time. Figuring he should reciprocate the honesty Steve has afforded him so far, Bucky hops up to sit on the kitchen counter and gets himself comfortable to tell his story. “Well, I grew up in a little backwater town in Indiana. The biggest export of our town was meth and most everyone was affected by that. People used religion like a weapon and thought The Republican Way was gospel. I didn’t fit in to any of that from day one and it made growing up there hard.” 

“What were you like as a kid?” Steve asks, curious.

“I was pretty much everything that town wasn’t. My parents weren’t really able to take care of me so I figured out early on how to care for myself. I was angry a lot because of that once I got older. I didn’t really try to fit in. I studied hard, worried about getting good grades so I could earn scholarships to a decent college and get out of there. I didn’t care much about religion and was fiercely liberal from the time I understood what politics were. And I’m queer, that didn’t help me fit in either. I, uh, I hope that doesn’t bother you.” Bucky falters, knowing Steve’s generation was a lot less forgiving about that sort of thing. 

“It doesn’t. I’m bi, actually. We did have homosexuality back in the thirties despite what the historians think.” 

“Holy shit.” Bucky blurts out. Captain America is bisexual. 

“It’s not something that comes up a lot, but I don’t hide it when asked. Somehow it never seems to make the news though.” 

“I think it would seriously fuck with some people’s world view if it did. That’s good, though. That you don’t have to hide it. It’s one of those things that isn’t quite like the news reports it. Sure, things are a hell of a lot better now for queer folk, but we still get bullied, discriminated against, sometimes even killed.” Despite himself, Bucky yawns deeply. He’s beyond tired but unwilling to hang up. 

“You sound exhausted.” Steve notes, “I should let you go.”

“No, it’s okay. I just had a long night followed by a long day. I’ll crash soon and hopefully Becca sleeps in tomorrow.” 

“Becca is your… daughter?” 

“My sister, actually. I adopted her when she was born. She feels like she’s mine but I never wanted to hide that fact that I’m her brother, not her dad. I don’t want her growing up not knowing who she really is.”

“You’re pretty amazing, Buck.” And Steve means every weighted word of it. 

Bucky shakes his head, almost dislodging his phone in the process. “Just got lucky enough to make a better life for myself, and her. That’s all.” 

“I think there’s a lot more to it than that, but okay. Really though, I should let you go. We can talk another day? Maybe grab that lunch together?” 

“Yeah, definitely. My schedule is a little crazy but I have off rotation in a few days, we could go out Thursday while Becca’s at preschool?”

“It’s a date. I’ll text you later this week so we can figure out the where and when.” 

“Sounds like a plan. Night, Steve.” 

The warm smile on Steve’s face practically shines through the phone line, “Night, Buck.” 

Bucky hangs up and stares around his tiny apartment in amazement. If you had told him a week ago that he was going to insult Captain America to his face and end up befriending him, he would have called you crazy. It’s a little odd having to separate the public persona he knows as Captain America, from Steve, the real guy under the cowl, but Bucky is looking forward to getting to know the real him better. 

xxXxx

“The best pizza in Brooklyn, huh?” Steve questions, squinting up at the shop’s sign. 

Bucky nods enthusiastically. “Definitely. They still use the old fashioned brick ovens and homemade sauce. Fresh herbs, locally sourced cheese. It sounds fancy but it’s really just good, old school, pizza.” 

“We’ll see. Sam recently introduced me to the concept of a dollar slice, and I think anything will be better than that.” 

“Oh man, yeah. Some places are decent, but most are shit.”

Bucky and Steve order a large pie to share, picking a small table in the back to sit at. Steve is amused when he spots a cooler with real glass bottles of soda and grabs one for each of them. Bucky smiles when he sees the bottles, able to guess Steve’s amusement at seeing something familiar. 

The pizza is up before they know it and Steve is moaning at the first bite. “Sorry.” he mumbles around his mouthful of gooey cheese. “It’s really good.” 

Bucky swallows quickly so he can respond, “Told ya.” 

Steve nods, properly contrite. “You did. Thanks for bringing me here.” 

“Any time.” Bucky smiles over at him and wonders what it would be like if they were out on a real date. One that ended with Steve walking him home and kissing him goodnight. He tries to shake the fantastical idea from his mind but it lingers, coming to the surface whenever Steve looks at him a little longer than most would find polite. 

They’re quiet through Steve’s first two slices, Bucky finishing his first as Steve goes for a third. Bucky has a healthy appetite but Steve is something else. “Super soldier, sorry.” Steve tells him with a shrug when he sees Bucky eyeing up his plate.

“No judgement here. Everyone’s gotta eat.” Bucky assures him. 

Steve slows down enough to make conversation after a little while, asking Bucky questions about his job and Becca. Steve is infinitely impressed with Bucky’s job as an ER nurse considering his mother had been a nurse and he knows first hand what a toll that profession can take on people. 

Bucky catches Steve glancing at his sleek metal prosthetic but the blonde is too polite to bring it up. “You can ask, you know. Most people just make assumptions about it, none of which are even close to the truth.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologizes, “I didn’t want to be rude.” 

“You’re not. It’s not my favorite topic but I’m better talking about it now. Go ahead, ask.”

Steve hesitates but trusts Bucky to know his own mind. “Okay, then. Bucky, how did you lose your arm?” 

Bucky takes a steadying breath and dives into the polite for public version of how he lost his left arm. His parents took him to the lake one summer when he was six, he’d begged for months and they finally agreed to drive out to spend a day there. He got a scratch on his arm and it got infected from the lake water. His parents weren’t too great on the whole “parenting” thing and didn’t notice when it got infected until he collapsed. At that point the arm was too far gone and the doctors had amputated it just above the elbow. 

What Bucky leaves out is that the scratch had actually been a gash and he’d gotten a beating for being careless before they headed for home. Sitting sorely in the backseat the whole bumpy ride home, using his own tshirt to wrap around his arm to help slow the bleeding. It was his transformers tshirt and it had been his favorite. Bucky leaves out the week of agonizing pain as the gash got worse, the infection burning and itching horribly until he couldn’t handle it anymore. Both of his parents were too strung out to notice and he’d tried, the best he could at that age, to put band-aids on it but then he caught another beating for using up all the band-aids. Bucky doesn’t tell Steve that the days he spent in the hospital were some of the best he could remember back then. The nurses were nice and brought him hot food three times a day. On Friday an ice cream cart came around. There were books he could read and other kids he could play with. When it was time for him to go home, he’d cried the entire way. 

Bucky notices Steve is staring at him expectantly and realizes he's gone silent, lost in the less than pleasant memories. “Sorry, it was a long time ago.” he clears his throat, pushing past the ugly memories and moving on, “I got this bad boy through a grant from a children’s hospital when I was fifteen. It was strange having two arms at first. Up until that point I’d spent most of my life with just the one. It was after that hospital stint that I decided on nursing. The nurses who cared for me during both of my hospital stays were just amazing. They took what could have been really scary experiences and made them into something good. I wanted to be able to do that for someone else, someday.” 

“Nurses are definitely superheroes.” Steve acknowledges. “My ma worked in the TB ward when I was a kid. She just had this way about her that she could spin any negative life threw at her into a positive. She was incredible. And I wasn’t an easy kid by any means.”

“Yeah, I heard something about that in the history books. Something about you being a feisty little shit always getting himself in trouble.” Bucky smirks, waiting for Steve to dispute it.

“It wasn’t quite as bad as they say it was. I only broke up a handful of fights over the years and always bullies who deserved it. I was as sick as they claimed though. The medical records were all real and my poor ma worked herself to the bone just trying to keep my lungs and heart going.”

“I feel for her. Even with medical training, it’s awful watching your kid get sick. Becca has some issues, she was born premature, and even though I know exactly what’s an annoyance versus a true issue, it’s still so hard watching her struggle.” 

Steve’s expression falls, “I’m so sorry, Buck.” He reaches out across the table on impulse and grasps Bucky’s hand in his. “What, uh... if you don’t mind me asking, what issues does she have? You’ve seen my list and part of that was from being a preemie myself. It’s not like mine, is it?” 

Bucky wants to melt through the booth into a puddle at the warm heavy contact of Steve’s hand over his. “No, not quite so bad. Her immune system isn’t the greatest, she has asthma that we have relatively under control, a heart murmur that the docs still think will close as she gets older, she’s anemic but has meds for it, and she’s never quite been out of the danger zone on the growth chart. She’s just a tiny little thing, but she's the cutest little girl you’ll ever lay eyes on.”  

“I have no doubt. She’s really lucky he has you.” 

They’re quiet for a moment, nothing to fill the silence but Steve’s thumb rubbing rhythmically over the ridges of Bucky’s knuckles. “Sorry, I didn’t exactly pick the happiest first date topics, did I?” Steve forces a painfully awkward laugh, taking back his hand as he tries to think of a less serious topic for them.

“First date, huh?” Bucky grins despite himself. 

Steve blushes from the tips of his ears down past his collar and Bucky wonders just how far down that blush goes. “It doesn’t have to be. Unless you want it to be one. I had a really great time, regardless. I don’t get out mu-”

“Steve!” Bucky cuts him off, waving his hand in surrender. “Breathe a minute so I can answer.” he pauses and Steve takes a slightly dramatic breath, shooting Bucky a wry smile. “There we go. I had a really great time too. And yes, I’d like it if this was a date. And if there are more dates following this one.” 

“Oh,” Steve is rendered speechless by the warmth blossoming in his chest. “That would be swell.” 

“Swell? Really?” Bucky laughs in disbelief. 

Steve’s blush flares to life again. “Sorry, sorry. Old man word, I know. What are the kids using these days? Nifty?” 

Bucky groans, “Cool, Steve. Just stick with cool.” 

“Okay, cool.” Steve sasses playfully. 

Bucky rolls his eyes before checking his watch. It’s almost time to go get Becca, they had spent two hours talking and it still feels like not enough time. “Shit. I gotta head out for Becca. Preschool lets out at three.” 

“Not a problem, I’d say I’m sorry for keeping you so long but I really enjoyed myself.” Steve snatches the paper slip with their bill on it and hurries over to the counter to pay. “You were right, so lunch is on me.” he insists.

“That’ll teach you not to bet against me, huh?” Bucky quips.

“I don’t know. This worked out pretty well for me. I learned a lot of new stuff, broadened my perspective on some things, went out with a cute guy, ate the best pizza in Brooklyn, and it sounds like I’ll get to go out with that cute guy again. I think this turned out pretty good.” 

Bucky laughs and gives him a playful shove as they leave the pizza shop together. They pause along the brick wall of the shop, neither man wanting to part ways just yet. “I don’t have off rotation for another three days but I’d like to see you again.” Bucky says, toying with the hem of his shirt. He feels like a damn teenager again. 

“Whenever you want, Bucky. My schedule is flexible unless I get called away for a long mission. I’ll take whatever time you’re willing to share with me.” Steve doesn’t want to push, but he’s willing to do whatever he needs to in order to see Bucky again. 

“I appreciate that. I know my schedule isn’t traditional but it’s my life for right now.” 

“And that’s okay.” Steve assures him, though he looks pretty nervous suddenly. He clears his throat twice before he finally asks, “Would it be too fast if I asked to kiss you right now?” 

Bucky’s pupils flare at the question, his reaction answering Steve before his voice does. “Not at all.” he murmurs moving closer to Steve.

Steve’s lips are a breath away from Bucky’s as he whispers “Oh good” and takes the kiss that Bucky so freely gives. Steve fights for composure, they’re on a public sidewalk for heaven’s sake. Bucky’s mouth slots against his like missing puzzle pieces, both warm and insistent as the kiss deepens. 

Steve kisses like he’s drowning and Bucky is reeling to keep up. How something so innocent turned so quickly is beyond comprehension but Bucky doesn’t want it to stop. The alarm on his phone reminding him it’s pick up time for Becca ends things quickly though. “I’ve gotta get Becca. Like, now.” he breathes raggedly against Steve’s mouth. 

“Okay. Okay.” Steve repeats like he’s convincing himself. “To be continued?” 

“To be continued.” Bucky agrees, leaning in for one last quick peck and then heading off to go pick up Becca.

[queertheology]

Building A Bible-Based Faith (that isn’t terrible!)

“Test everything; hold fast what is good.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21

When I first started to realize that I was attracted to guys, a tiny crack appeared in my faith: how could a loving God knit me together in my mother’s womb then give me these desires for love, intimacy, and family with no righteous outlet to express them?

I’d been told that “homosexuality” was sinful, but I was never quite sure why. I needed to be sure, so I turned to the Bible. That was terrifying. Who was I to question what my church leaders acted like was common knowledge? And then I stumbled upon 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and I realized that questioning my beliefs wasn’t heresy, it was Biblical!

It took me YEARS to sort out that being LGBTQ was not only “ok” but an important part of the diversity of God’s creation. (If you want a peak at what I learned during the process, check this out)

Now that I know it’s ok to be queer — despite what some religious leaders say — I asked myself: what else were they wrong about?

Figuring out I was queer was an invitation to question my faith and to take a fresh look at “what the Bible” says about so many things.

Thank God I’m queer, because I have discovered in the Bible — and the community, experience, expertise, and traditions of Christians across millennia — a faith that is liberating and life-giving… and so much more alive than the evangelical faith of my childhood.

Conservatives talk a lot about being “Bible-believing” or having a “Bible-based” faith.

Too often that’s code for “My interpretation of Christianity is right and everyone who doesn’t measure up is sinful and going to hell.”

While I think it’s entirely possible to be an upstanding, moral person without ever turning to the Bible (or even believing in God!), I’m not ready to let go of this sacred text.

When I look at the Bible, here’s what I see.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. – Luke 4:18-19

Jesus begins his public ministry by quoting from the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 61:1-2, to be specific).

In doing so, he roots his ministry in his Jewish faith and, more specifically, in the Hebrew prophets.

If you’ve asked “What did Jesus come to do?” or “Why did God send Jesus?” … well Jesus answers that question himself in Luke:

to bring good news to poor people

to set prisoners free

to give sight to the blind

to liberate the oppressed

and to usher in God’s abundance

But Jesus doesn’t want to go at it alone. He begins calling disciples to join him in his ministry. Jesus isn’t looking for converts, though.

“Come, follow me,” he said, “and I’ll show you how to fish for people.” (Matthew 4:19)

He’s looking for doers to join him in the work of his ministry. And what is that ministry?

Throughout the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, we get a look at God’s priorities. When I look at the ministry of Jesus, I don’t see a departure from the Hebrew scriptures, I see a continuation of them.

In the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, there are 2,350 verses about money, 300 about social justice and the poor, and even 24 about immigration.

But it’s not really about plucking verses out of context or tallying up the number of verses about this subject vs that subject. To take the Bible seriously and faithfully, you need to know what to do with it. What are the central themes and what are the exceptions? What are commandments and what might be examples of humans messing up, despite their best intentions? What taps into the divine and what is just a reflection of a time-bound, cultural norm?

In Deuteronomy,

I have set life and death, blessing and curse before you. Now choose life.

In Amos,

I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them; and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

In Luke, when asked what one must do to gain eternal life, Jesus shared a story that ended with the Samaritan taking care of the injured man and paying for his healthcare … “Go and do likewise” was Jesus’s answer.

In John,

I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.

In Acts,

All the believers were united and shared everything. …There were no needy persons among them

There’s a whole lot in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures: letters, commandments, poems, stories, parables, and even some visions.

What are we to make of all of these?

Genesis 1 ends with, “God saw everything he had made: it was supremely good” and Revelation ends with “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.” When you look at Scripture — from Genesis to Revelation — what you see is that God calls us to be faithful by loving ourselves and taking care of each other.

Jesus seems to agree. In Matthew 22, he says,

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.

If you aren’t drawing yourself and others closer to God, if you aren’t filled with love for God, for yourself, and for others, you’re not following Jesus’s commands.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that “by their fruits you will recognize” whether a religious teaching is true or not.

The fruits of anti-LGBTQ theology reveal its falseness: depression, despair, suicide, fractured families, loss of faith, bullying, harassment. The fruits of affirming theology testify to its rightness: a return to faith, a healing of relationships, and a vibrance and resurgence in church life.

But it’s not just about being “LGBTQ affirming” or not.

Does your theology put you at odds with your mind, soul, heart, or body? Does your theology sow division in your family, community, nation, or world? Does your theology excuse or encourage violence? Does your theology exacerbate your mental health problems?

Or does it lead you to life and joy? Does it comfort you? Does it give you hope? Does it lead you to treat others well?

Judge your theology by its fruits.

How to figure out an integrated, Bible-based faith that is life-giving

It took me studying religion in college, being trained by religious and civil rights leaders, engaging in full-time activism across the country for months, reading and studying countless books by pastors, scholars, theologians, and activists; and studying under mentors. It took Fr. Shay going to seminary, continuing his education for a decade, working in churches for equally long, and pursuing independent study.

But it shouldn’t require that much of an investment just to read the Bible well and put it into practice. That’s why we are distilling all of our expertise and experience down into a 4-week course on how to read the Bible: Journey into the Bible. It starts on September 15. You can learn more and register here.

[honestly-fuck-this]

I went to my high school library today for the first time since starting last fall as a freshman and there are so many book about queers. They’re totally overdoing it I think. A few are fine but there are too many on display and it’s annoying that they make the students uncomfortable

Y’know, I’m actually glad that there are so many “books about queers” on display at school libraries these days. I graduated high school not too long ago and at that point there really weren’t many lgbt books in my school library at all.I remember going into the library one day with a friend because she wanted to get a book and as I waited for her, I began wandering the history books section isle (because at that point I was really interested in WWII history) and someone had shoved a book that got my attention right in between some books about Chinese dynasties, I believe. The book was a collection of letters written by homosexual men and women and their stories and struggles, dating back to 1950s through early 2000s.I was so surprised? Amazed? I don’t even know what I felt at the sight of the book but I had to do a double check to make sure I was the only one in the isle just to be able to pull the book off the shelves. The book was brand new and no one had checked it out for as long as the book was in that library, and I KID YOU NOT! THERE WAS NO OTHER QUEER BOOK IN THAT LIBRARY AT THAT POINT, at least not so easily available that you could just walk in and find a section on display.I knew that if I checked that book out, my name would be there forever, and I just couldn’t even fathom the thought of anyone ever thinking that I was anything but straight. So without thinking much of it, I shoved the book in my backpack and literally ran out of that library. I texted my friend that I wasn’t feeling well and just locked myself in the bathroom and tried to keep myself from having a panic attack.I had to steal the only queer book at my school library because I needed it to make sense of what I was feeling. That book taught me so much about the struggles that gay people have gone through and for the first time, I didn’t care to figure out exactly what I was. I just knew I was different and that THAT was okay because if these people survived the hardship of being gay all these decades ago then I would be okay. This book gave me the strength to keep going and to explore myself the way I deserved to do so; so I am SO GLAD that there are so many queer books readily available at schools for today’s youth because they are so important and help us in such great ways. I’m glad students now don’t have to feel like reading about a gay character, or a bisexual one is a terribly shameful thing, because it’s not. I’m glad they get to be represented so that they don’t feel so alone and so terribly lonely in their personal journey to self acceptance.

[argonapricot]

when you REBLOG IT do ALL OF THEM

1: Name - Julia

2: Age - the number of protons in an argon atom! My favorite element! That didn’t even occur to me until just now and I am delighted.

3: 3 Fears -

1. Plane crashes

2. Dementia

3. Bad things happening to pets

4: 3 things I love -

1. elves

2. Dvorak

3. making fun of you

5: 4 turns on

1. Linguistics

2. The end credit music from Attack of the Clones

3. Girls

4. Chord resolutions

6: 4 turns off

1. Sex

2. Existentialism

3. Depression

4. Logistical complications

7: My best friend - three of alex in a trenchcoat

8: Sexual orientation - homosexualism

9: My best first date - I’ve only had one! Unless you count Mackenzie Week which wow I sure don’t yikes

But yeah, the actual first date was cute af we were adorable and drenched

10: How tall am I - not tall enough

11: What do I miss - so much all the time, god. Having it be a normal and socially accessible activity to play pretend when you hang out with friends. Having a girlfriend, lol. Playing outside in the yard, my brother being a tiny little puffball. Being an impressive child. So many childhood things actually I’m an enormous sap. Not being depressed?

12: What time was I born - 7:02 in the evening, I think

13: Favorite color - poorple

14: Do I have a crush - um i have like 7 I’m bad at getting over people

15: Favorite quote - “the answer is six” - alex, that one time the answer wasn’t six

16: Favorite place - it’s a secret!

17: Favorite food - academic vigor

18: Do I use sarcasm - no of course not

19: What am I listening to right now - the clock trying to guilt me from across the room

20: First thing I notice in new person - whether or not they are painted green 

21: Shoe size - 9/12

22: Eye color - Brown! Maybe like ¼ hazel

23: Hair color - also brown! It gets lighter in the summer, the sun bleaches it a bit.

24: Favorite style of clothing - gay

25: Ever done a prank call? - I used to prank call Clarissa every time I called her in like middle school, but it was always super obvious that it was me I think

27: Meaning behind my URL - my favorite element, paired with a handy dandy alliteration fruit that I enjoy

28: Favorite movie - Alex making a fool of herself

jk it’s I guess Lord of the Rings but I’m honestly so bad with favorites especially movies

29: Favorite song - I’ve been listening to Hurt by Johnny Cash a LOT lately, for fictional angst purposes and also it’s just a really good song

30: Favorite band - the Grady Knights Philharmonic

31: How I feel right now - sad that I’m only on number 31

32: Someone I love - Lee Pope

33: My current relationship status - so single you don’t even know

34: My relationship with my parents - good! I have great parents they are great!

35: Favorite holiday - I’ve only actually been to a Tu b’shvat seder once, but it was so incredibly rad and it’s a good holiday I approve of it.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - none

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - none?

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to get in on that sweet pjo fandom action

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? nah bro @alphaj8de hi five

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - I exchange “goodnights” with someone if we end a conversation by going to bed?

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - quite possibly!

42: When did I last hold hands? - I hold hands with Tolkien every day of my life

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depends on how slowly I get out of bed

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - yeah

45: Where am I right now? - on a couch

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - fanfiction, probably, since all of my good caring friends are Leaving me to go to Party College, or alternatively Very Far Away And Stupidly Cold Stupid College

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - I like my music neurotically soft

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - for the next like two months

49: Am I excited for anything? - college! Hannah’s lake house! garbage on the internet! 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - I rarely tell Everything to anyone

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I suck at fake smiles, and can only maintain them (when called for) in three-second bursts

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I hugged Benjamin earlier today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I would stand there like a tool.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - YEAH @cognitivelyagitated I can’t believe you took advantage of my eighth grade self like that and I can’t believe my eighth grade self was that stupid.

55: What is something I disliked about today? - Discord crashed and my online friend was not online.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - *mumblemumble*

57: What do I think about most? - characters doing Things

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I have the power to make sleeping possums knit

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - macaroni and cheese, also certain noises that make me flip out and cringe

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - I can go both ways!

61: What was the last lie I told? - the answer to that sarcasm question

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - what is communication

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I don’t devote a lot of energy into having opinions on ghosts or aliens one way or the other.

64: Do I believe in magic? - sometimes

65: Do I believe in luck? - I mean luck is just the concept that sometimes good things happen and sometimes they don’t? So yeah, the experimental probability of good things that happen is a thing.

66: What’s the weather like right now? - hot and humid

67: What was the last book I’ve read? - I’m in the middle of like four books right now, the last one I finished was I think A Conjuring Of Light? In the shades of magic trilogy, which was hype.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - no!

69: Do I have any nicknames? - julesliaia

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - I broke my arm in seventh grade

71: Do I spend money or save it? - both!

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - there are some pink things visible on the screen where this is being typed?

74: Favorite animal? - I like all kinds of cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - watching Episode 3 of IDOL Drama Operation Team

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - why would he have a last name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - I can’t think of the best answer right now

78: How can you win my heart? - elf appreciation

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - my name would be nice

80: What is my favorite word? - right now, sepulchral

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - I don’t really rate tumblrs!

82:  If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stop! being stupid! stop being mean! Help the planet and also other people! I don’t know

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - being able to sing well would be nice

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - are you spending your time responsibly?

86: What is my current desktop picture? - Yosemite

87: Had sex? - y

88: Bought condoms? - n

89: Gotten pregnant? - n

90: Failed a class? - n

91: Kissed a boy? - n

92: Kissed a girl? - y

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - I think so, yeah

94: Had job? - y

95: Left the house without my wallet? - y

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - n

97: Had sex in public? - nah that’s your gig

98: Played on a sports team? - I was a part of the Lucky Clovers soccer team in like 1st and 2nd grade

99: Smoked weed? - n

100: Did drugs? - n

101: Smoked cigarettes? - n

102: Drank alcohol? - some! on special occasions

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - n

104: Been overweight? - n

105: Been underweight? - n

106: Been to a wedding? - Yeah, a couple!

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - ………..probably on some late nights, but that’s terrible and I feel ashamed and sad

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - n

109: Been outside my home country? - twice! Once to Spain and once to Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? - There have been a couple instances of vague heart breakage idk

111: Been to a professional sports game? - during TIP camps, yes

112: Broken a bone? - y

114: Been to prom? - I was busy Killing It at Carnegie Hall

115: Been in airplane? - y

116: Fly by helicopter? - n

117: What concerts have I been to? - @queer-sighted took me to a Fall Out Boy concert two summers ago, which was lots of fun! I’ve been to a lot of ASO concerts that Mom gets tickets to for producing the show, and a bunch of other classical music occasions, and some concerts that I’ve played!

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - yeah. like. a Lot.

119: Learned another language? - I learned some okay French

120: Wore make up? - y

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - y but virginity is dumb

122: Had oral sex? - y

123: Dyed my hair? - n

124: Voted in a presidential election? - I was too young!

125: Rode in an ambulance? - n

126: Had a surgery? - yeah, on my foot in second grade

127: Met someone famous? - my crush met Selena Gomez does that count

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - only a tiny bit

129: Peed outside? - of course

130: Been fishing? - I’ve stood near some people who were fishing sometimes

131: Helped with charity? - I’ve worked on a lot of tikkun olam projects? And volunteered places? And donated tzeddakah? I don’t know what specifically constitutes charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? - only very indirectly I have the forthcoming romantic initiative of a slug

133: Broken a mirror? - no

134: What do I want for birthday? - ummmm books and mamamoo I guess? Maybe a new tablet

[queertheology]

Building a Bible-Based Faith (That Isn’t Terrible)

“Test everything; hold fast what is good.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:21

When I first started to realize that I was attracted to guys, a tiny crack appeared in my faith: how could a loving God knit me together in my mother’s womb then give me these desires for love, intimacy, and family with no righteous outlet to express them?

I’d been told that “homosexuality” was sinful, but I was never quite sure why. I needed to be sure, so I turned to the Bible. That was terrifying. Who was I to question what my church leaders acted like was common knowledge? And then I stumbled upon 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and I realized that questioning my beliefs wasn’t heresy, it was Biblical!

It took me YEARS to sort out that being LGBTQ was not only “ok” but an important part of the diversity of God’s creation. (If you want a peak at what I learned during the process, check this out)

Now that I know it’s ok to be queer — despite what some religious leaders say — I asked myself: what else were they wrong about?

Figuring out I was queer was an invitation to question my faith and to take a fresh look at “what the Bible” says about so many things.

Thank God I’m queer, because I have discovered in the Bible — and the community, experience, expertise, and traditions of Christians across millennia — a faith that is liberating and life-giving… and so much more alive than the evangelical faith of my childhood.

Conservatives talk a lot about being “Bible-believing” or having a “Bible-based” faith.

Too often that’s code for “My interpretation of Christianity is right and everyone who doesn’t measure up is sinful and going to hell.”

While I think it’s entirely possible to be an upstanding, moral person without ever turning to the Bible (or even believing in God!), I’m not ready to let go of this sacred text.

When I look at the Bible, here’s what I see.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. – Luke 4:18-19

Jesus begins his public ministry by quoting from the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 61:1-2, to be specific).

In doing so, he roots his ministry in his Jewish faith and, more specifically, in the Hebrew prophets.

If you’ve asked “What did Jesus come to do?” or “Why did God send Jesus?” … well Jesus answers that question himself in Luke:

to bring good news to poor people

to set prisoners free

to give sight to the blind

to liberate the oppressed

and to usher in God’s abundance

But Jesus doesn’t want to go at it alone. He begins calling disciples to join him in his ministry. Jesus isn’t looking for converts, though.

“Come, follow me,” he said, “and I’ll show you how to fish for people.” (Matthew 4:19)

He’s looking for doers to join him in the work of his ministry. And what is that ministry?

Throughout the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, we get a look at God’s priorities. When I look at the ministry of Jesus, I don’t see a departure from the Hebrew scriptures, I see a continuation of them.

In the Hebrew and Christian scriptures, there are 2,350 verses about money, 300 about social justice and the poor, and even 24 about immigration.

But it’s not really about plucking verses out of context or tallying up the number of verses about this subject vs that subject. To take the Bible seriously and faithfully, you need to know what to do with it. What are the central themes and what are the exceptions? What are commandments and what might be examples of humans messing up, despite their best intentions? What taps into the divine and what is just a reflection of a time-bound, cultural norm?

In Deuteronomy,

I have set life and death, blessing and curse before you. Now choose life.

In Amos,

I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them; and the peace offerings of your fattened animals, I will not look upon them. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

In Luke, when asked what one must do to gain eternal life, Jesus shared a story that ended with the Samaritan taking care of the injured man and paying for his healthcare … “Go and do likewise” was Jesus’s answer.

In John,

I came so that they could have life—indeed, so that they could live life to the fullest.

In Acts,

All the believers were united and shared everything. …There were no needy persons among them

There’s a whole lot in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures: letters, commandments, poems, stories, parables, and even some visions.

What are we to make of all of these?

Genesis 1 ends with, “God saw everything he had made: it was supremely good” and Revelation ends with “The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all.” When you look at Scripture — from Genesis to Revelation — what you see is that God calls us to be faithful by loving ourselves and taking care of each other.

Jesus seems to agree. In Matthew 22, he says,

You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You must love your neighbor as you love yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.

If you aren’t drawing yourself and others closer to God, if you aren’t filled with love for God, for yourself, and for others, you’re not following Jesus’s commands.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that “by their fruits you will recognize” whether a religious teaching is true or not.

The fruits of anti-LGBTQ theology reveal its falseness: depression, despair, suicide, fractured families, loss of faith, bullying, harassment. The fruits of affirming theology testify to its rightness: a return to faith, a healing of relationships, and a vibrance and resurgence in church life.

But it’s not just about being “LGBTQ affirming” or not. Does your theology put you at odds with your mind, soul, heart, or body? Does your theology sow division in your family, community, nation, or world? Does your theology excuse or encourage violence? Does your theology exacerbate your mental health problems?

Or does it lead you to life and joy? Does it comfort you? Does it give you hope? Does it lead you to treat others well?

Judge your theology by its fruits.

We’re having a webinar to dive even deeper into the fundamentals of Christianity — and the fundamentals of being an LGBTQ Christian. Join us Thursday September 21 at 8pm eastern. Click here to register for free.