#queer movie review 5

[something-awful1]

Queer Movie Review Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

This is confirmation that Bella would've been better as a lesbian

SPOILERS BELOW!!

My thoughts literally the entire time were like, "Wow this movie is amazing, it's so fucked up but it's so sweet," and it's genuinely so difficult to put everything into words, but I just wanna say that for the entire movie up until the end, I did love it. At the beginning, Lou's whole character is honestly such a vibe. Jackie is so sweet. Daisy pissed me off to high heavens. I feel like every character was portrayed so well by the actors, they all felt very real which is typically my main issue with queer media, so all in all, it was pretty nice!

If you don't mind gore... like a decent amount of it... then it's a great queer movie to watch. Except like. The obvious.

Why the fuck? Was the ending like that? Like- No genuinely I started laughing what the actual hell was that. If you haven't watched it, Jackie... like- turns into a giant? At the end? And if this has been like a superhero movie or smth from the beginning then that would be fine but- it was never that? What the hell. It was so bad. Personally I think that, even though it would be incredibly cheap, it still would've been better if they'd just had Jackie shoot Lou's dad. She didn't have to go all Hulk, like wtf 😭 Or even better? Just let Lou die. Show us how Jackie gets herself out of the situation now that she's really alone. But whatever okay giant lady kills the evil guy and the lesbians get to drive away into the sunset with their cat and the dead body in the trunk. Sure. That's fine. Overall, the movie was seriously a 9/10 until the end. The end is SO laughably bad that it brings it down to like a 6.5/10. But the rest of the movie was phenomenal, really.

[scribblerlostinspace]

after a quinton reviews induced henry danger binge i have come to three conclusions:

Ray Manchester needs to be studied like a bug

Ray is a trans man (what cis guy calls himself “Captain Man”? I rest my case.)

If N*ckelodeon wasn’t a bunch of cowards, henry x jasper would have been canon

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

I forget sometimes you guys have not watched half the shows I have,

you guys would EXPLODE if I tried to explain mort lore.

(from yk dream works's Madagascar?? yeah that guy? little brown lemur? yeah fucked up, almost completely crazed fever dream lore.)

anyway I was thinking about the cinematic parallels with chef and Chris from total drama and how it's literally the same fucking thing that happens in Hannibal mostly.

murderous eccentric loved by many: Chris

manipulates, doesn't care how many he kills because it's exciting: Chris

mutilates and disfigures people for his own enjoyment: Chris

wealthy: Chris

gets sent to jail because he's a fucking murder: Chris

pulls a good guy and turns him evil and is gay for him: Chris

I can go on and on, uh you may be saying

"what the fuck?? that happens in this show??? what's it even rated??"

it's PG, guys.. it's a kids show. total drama is surprisingly dark, it's awesome I suggest it if you like weird shows that are a spoof of survivor.

but my god is the show literally just Chris being fucking murderous and gay for chef the entire time.

THIS MAN HAS KILLED 78 PEOPLE HE CANNONICALLY WENT TO PRISON FOR IT. CHEF LITERALLY GOT HIM OUT.

(mostly it was the show getting another season, idk how they got him out of jail. 100% it was chef tho)

like they are full on murder husbands, this show is so chaotic and cringe but mostly just "CHRIS WTF" it's fucking great.

literally inlove gay murder husbands, it's fucking crazy how similar it parallels Hannibal (2013) while being older than it.

I love this show it's awesome.

[vanilla-voyeur]

I'm absolutely obsessed with all the one star Nimona reviews that say it was a great movie except for one single scene that ruined it by shoving their politics down our throats

[waifuigi]

Over on Cohost I wrote a little about the very strange Robert Altman movie Come Back To The 5 & Dime, Jimmy Dean Jimmy Dean. What a strange film...

[hardrockshrimp]

I feel insane whenever I watch a view askew movie cause it just gets so fucking gay all of a sudden then it's played off as normal

[starplanes]

A (5 star) review of Bury Your Gays, by @drchucktingle!

I read this book in one sitting. I did not plan to read this book in one sitting, but I could not put it down, accepting that my lunch break was now an extended reading break. Bury Your Gays was just that good.

It starts simple. Screenwriter Misha has been told by his exec that the season finale of his show must out, then kill the two leads. He needs to bury his gays because the board has determined it's where the money is. Misha says no. Then starts getting stalked by his (definitely fictional, right?) characters from other shows. Either Misha developed some incredible supernatural powers in that meeting, or something more sinister is at work…

Bury Your Gays illustrates why queer people should be allowed to tell the stories they want to tell, instead of being made to use queerbating, tragic tropes, or fake relentless optimism in the name of corporate Pride. It's a story about the queer struggle to find oneself in a world that makes it so, so hard. There's a lot of love for the queer community poured into this book, and oh does it shines. I especially adored the ace rep - and the concept of ace rep as a plot point. I shall not explain further. However, I am more scared than ever of the corporatization of Pride.

Bury Your Gays also criticizes capitalism's monetization of tragedy and exploitation of workers. It explores what happens when ethics are ignored in the name of an ever-growing profit margin, to the point where the bottom line becomes a near-sentient thing. It leans into the horrors of AI and data-mining by combining the two and going all the way with it. Chuck Tingle has acknowledged all my fears of black box algorithms and also made them ten times worse. Truly a feat! I will be sleeping with my router off!

It's a masterpiece of horror, both visceral and psychological. Since the main character is a horror writer, the story is very genre aware. There's a lot of fun to be had in the tale of "writer being followed by the monsters he wrote," and certainly no small amount of terror. It gets gory here and there, with plenty of suspense in between. Hints are laid out for the reader, enough where I was occasionally able to predict what was coming just a page or two before it landed. My jaw dropped multiple times! The writing is descriptive enough to pull you right in (and gross you out!), and it's paced near-perfectly. There's all these little moments sprinkled in that elevate the whole story, from fun references of other work to subtle clues you'll only catch on a reread.

This book will be living in my head rent-free from now on. It's about so many things and yet has interwoven them all perfectly. Fans of classic horror movies will love this story. Those of us fed up with AI generated trash will love it. Anyone who joined a WGA picket line will love it. Asexuals fed up with lack of representation will love it. People who watched multiple seasons of Supernatural will love it. Is that you? Go pick up Bury Your Gays. Be scared, be sad, be angry. But also validated, loved, and joyful.

TLDR: Read this book when it comes out on July 9!

[princemick]

THE KING’S HONOUR

16+, Released August 4 2024, 2h 11m, Action/Adventure/Romance/Comedy/Fantasy

Commander of the Kingsguard, Aonghus (Michael Schumacher) finds himself as Acting Regent when King Conall (Mika Häkkinen) falls to a curse in battle. Unable to search for a cure himself as the kingdom threatens to fall to outside threats and inner political schemes, he sends out his second in command, Fiachra (Lewis Hamilton) to find a way to save his king.

Where To Watch:

Rent The King’s Honour on Fandango at Home, Prime Video, Apple TV, or buy it on Fandango at Home, Prime Video, Apple TV.

Critics Consensus

Once you get past the horrendously unrealistic costuming, The King’s Honour becomes an admittedly predictable, but humorous, effortless evening watch.

Read Critics Reviews.

Critics Reviews View All (132)

Damon Hill TOP CRITIC

Newsweek

There are worse crimes than fan service but at least do it with a bit more effort and skill than this. 

Rated 1.5/5 | Aug 2 2024 Full Review

Will Buxton TOP CRITIC

Common Sense Media

To save the king, you must first break the curse. A very compact and concise film, but weak on the soundtrack and dialogue. Too many unnecessary monologues.

Rated 3/5 | Aug 4 2024 Full Review

Jenson Button TOP CRITIC

Vogue

Knocked off half a star because no one took their shirts off. Unrealistic. Some of those shirts were far too flowy not to have an ‘accidental’ nip slip.

Rated 4.5/5 | Aug 6 2024 Full Review

Audience Reviews View All (1500+)

Alexanderrr

new comfort movie unlocked i think

Rated 4.5/5 | Aug 23 2024

Prost

My husband spent half our date night bitching abaout every single thing he hated about this film. He always fucks better when he is angry so thank you.

Rated 4/5 | Aug 19 2024

George Russell

Well, that was truly delightful! The cast has amazing chemistry. Both between the lead mains and all the side characters! This is a film that knows what it is (and is not ashamed about it!): a light-hearted film that never takes itself too seriously, but manages not to become a satirical parod…

Rated 5/5 | Sep 5 2024 Full Review

----------------------------------------

The King’s Honour

16+ | Magical Realism, Historical Fiction, Romance | Directed by Niki Lauda

This is a truly a soulless and uninspired chickenshit explotation of queerness and the use of fantastical elements in a desperate attempt to prop up a flailing script that falls flat. Calling this ‘magical realism’ is an insult to Gabriel García Márquez’s memory.

Every single element of this film is subpar at best, lacking in colour and substance and a solid foundation of existence. While one would think the landscape the film is shot in, the Scotland highlands, would improve the viewing, but somehow the cinematography is so terrible, it is just another way everything and everyone gets lost. It is a backdrop of breathtaking opportunity and they don’t simply drop the ball but not even bother to pick it up. There is little to no directional awareness in the camera work and the script and the honestly incoherent cinematic flow of this piece. There is not even a NOD to authenticity of any kind, even on a satirical level as that would require a modiqum of thought not seen here.

I could not call this a categorical fail at hubris because I truly can not fathom what Lauda was aiming for here in this production. If someone held a gun to by head and told me to guess the director of this film correctly, my husband would be receiving my life insurance payout in the morning. How the mighty have fallen.

Everyone is a take away from a cigarette break, a sudden career exit, or at some points, a cliff’s face. And in knowing this, it is the only way I feel even remotely connected to what I see on screen.

By ARYTON SENNA

Sort By (BEST)       COMMENTS

James Hunt | 3 days ago

I feel fucking exhausted just reading this review. Chill the fuck out and smell the flowers, mate.

Esteban | 5 days ago

Woah.

Sebastian Vettel | 1 week ago

Framing this and putting it up on my fridge. Thank you!

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POPULAR REVIEWS MORE

Review by oscar ★★★★★ ♡ 🗨21

loved it yeah. schumacher’s pussy was OUT OUT so you know. cheers. and i Respect häkkinen’s dedication to serving face even while comatose. but like. it wasn’t very realistic because how in the fuck did no one shove the guy coulthard plays off a tower he was soooo annoying. took me out of the movie a bit can’t lie

❤ 5,581 likes

Review by Mick ★★★ 🗨19

A very funny film! Makes me want to go to Scotland! And I’m not just saying that because my Dad’s in it haha. :) Not his best work though :( 

❤ 1,647 likes

Review by Alonso ★ 🗨14

Schumacher ran over my dog and didn’t even stop. If any of you even care.

❤ 1,400 likes

@hypersoft-fest Week 1 Collab with @milflewis: Movie review + Historical Regency and Magical Realism

[dykeulous]

about me.

hello! i am apollo and i am aspiring to be an author and an activist someday. i come from a small, underdeveloped “post-socialist” country. i hope my blog will be helpful to everyone, and i try to be as open-minded on most topics as i can be. this is how i would describe myself:

i am a butch lesbian with heavy sex (& social) dysphoria. i would refer to myself as transmasc, and i am still very much trans-identified, as dysphoria has caused me much trouble over my formative years, and it has been making my life a true agonizing hell :)). i approach trans issues with sensitivity and criticism. i try my best not to be black-and-white about things; and i always try to be well-informed before speaking on anything. i love gender acceleration, and i would describe my views as gender critical. i am explicitly anti-racist, anti-capitalist & anti-imperialist. my views align with marxist feminism/proletarian feminism & radical feminism– which is why i would describe myself as a dual system feminist. my analysis & beliefs come from dialectical materialism, rather than idealism, which is why i’ve found myself in opposition with most trans rights activists. i am for abolishing the prison system, and i believe rehabilitation should be the goal, rather than punishment. drug addicts & recovering addicts have a special place in my heart ❤️‍🩹. i’m not vegan, but i appreciate & love all my ecofeminist sisters: i try my best to be vocal about animal liberation & climate activism. i believe the bpd diagnosis is being hyper-sold to female people, and this is because of medical misogyny & institutional sexism– it is being used as new age female hysteria. oh, and i’m also autistic. i love autistic women, and i wholeheartedly want to smash medical misogyny whenever i see how my neurodivergent sisters are being treated. 🇵🇸 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA PALESTINE WILL BE FREE!!!

my special interest is gender abolition (i’m very very passionate about this!!!) and marxist politics. my current hyperfixations are harry potter (i’m a slytherin 🐍), greek mythology & mlp. i unironically use the word kinnie; my highest kins are severus snape, twilight sparkle and diane nguyen. i love punk rock music, and i love riot grrrl. ask me about ww2, i used to be very hyperfixated on it last year– i reviewed a lot of ww2-themed movies critically & pointed their historical revisionism out. i am a slavic patriot by heart, and will punch a westerner who chooses to ignore our beautiful history. tito, lenin, che guevara, rosa luxemburg apologist. also i’m very interested in soviet history (the night witches are so fascinating!!), north korean culture & cuban cuisine.

if you wish to block me, go ahead. if you don’t, cool. i don’t block people, i allow a wide range of people to interact, and quite frankly, i think dni lists are useless. won’t hold back if you’re going to attack me. will engage in respectful arguments, and also will engage in disrespectful arguments, with the same energy you give me.

check out @pokegyns! it’s a group blog modded by nuancefem discord server members, owned by our precious pikalay @tirfpikachu.

links to some of the posts of mine i find quite useful for people who are going to hate-scroll through my blog, and also for people who are interested in radical feminism, but are scared we’re a hate group.

1. Intersex People, Transitioned Trans Women & Transitioned Trans Men

Are Trans Women Privileged?; Gender Socialization & Transmisogyny

Intersectionality Is Key: Our Issues Intersect, but They Differ

2. Feminist Praxis & Tactics: Separatism VS Proletarian Feminism; My Personal Critique of Radical Feminism

3. Transmedicalists VS Queer Theorists; Transmedicalism: The Sexism, Racism, and Classism

4. Listen to Dysphoric Voices

5. What Is Gender?; Gender Acceleration

6. The Word “Cis”

*Thread: Transness and Radical Feminism Can Coexist*

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/12/2024

this one's a bit short. i am now thirty and still unemployed (ten months this week) ://// if you enjoy the tuesdayposts and are not maxed out on your charitable donations for other causes (american healthcare access, healthcare access in other places, war relief, any number of other good causes) i am going to be $300 short for december rent. here is my paypal.

listening

listening to a lot of pete seeger, for my health. there are about one zillion recordings of Old Man Atom, all ever so slightly different. it starts off as a perky gee-whiz-science! tune and continues frog marching the listener along in an increasingly jaunty manner. it's

Then the cartel crowd put on a show To turn back the clock on the UNO To get a corner on atoms and maybe extinguish Every darned atom that can't speak English Down with foreign-born atoms! America for American atoms! I hold this truth to be self-evident That all men may be cremated equal!

it's very depressing to listen to early anti-nuclear protest songs and realize they hold even more true today! song's a bop tho!

-

reading

the feds nabbed someone allegedly related to the semi-dire Snowflake data leaks that have been ongoing throughout the year (Santander Bank, AT&T, Ticket Master, Neiman Marcus, etc).

this guy has been a real thorn in krebs' side for a year or so and participates in some of the worst corners of the internet, which explains the adversarial nature of the writeup. i read through the whole thing going "yeah this guy is Very annoying but why is krebs so mad at him" and then got to the bottom section about other activities. italicized OH moment in real life but bad.

-

watching

continuing noirvember with The Maltese Falcon (1941, dir. Huston).

The Maltese Falcon is a 1941 American film noir in which a San Francisco private detective deals with three unscrupulous adventurers, all seeking a jewel-encrusted falcon statuette.[3] Written and directed by John Huston[3] in his directorial debut, the film was based on the 1930 novel The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett and is a remake of the 1931 film of the same name.[4][5][6] It stars Humphrey Bogart as private investigator Sam Spade, Mary Astor as his femme fatale client, and as villains Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet.

i have two really snotty thoughts to get out of my brain: the modern letterboxed reviews like "i liked this but the homophobia ruined it" weak. all of you are WEAK.

and

i appreciate the work of the tumblrinas trying to queer this story in a more 2020s friendly way. however. sam spade canonically calls someone a slur for using cologne that he deems too feminine. the noir detective series you want is Philip Marlowe, who is at least homophobic in interesting and less physically violent ways.

anyway! gorgeous gorgeous movie. mary astor goes toe to fucking toe with bogey in every scene. a very frantic and frightened woman who is one jump ahead of the pathway crumbling behind her at all times. but she takes the jump and makes it! every time! except for the most important one!!!

-

playing

having a normal one with 12 hours of powerwash simulator

new genshin update rapidly approacheth. there's a lot happening in this screenshot. accidentally careened right past this npc, with one bullet for the poor low-level slime in the background, floaty blue pet in tow. the npc wanted me to deliver something to her sister who is visible under the big tree in the background. i love early area spaghetti code.

-

making

deep cleaned my house again bc i had people over for my birthday, which was a very lovely and very drunk evening of star wars on in the background while we played trivia. not how i expected to enter my thirties! i am not in the life circumstances i expected to be in my thirties, i do not have the life i expected to have in my thirties, etc. feeling a little maudlin and need to do crafts about it but also all the crafts in my home are not quite right!

[fuctacles]

Steve Harrington's Barbie-shaped thighs

now on Ao3 | final edit: 04.08

Robeen: Barbie tonight @ 5!!! Robeen: Dress accordingly OR ELSE Eddee: ????? Steef: 👍👍👍💅💅💅

Eddie did the best he could with his monochrome wardrobe. Which meant an impromptu thrift hunt. He found a tiny pink tank top and a vaguely 80s-shaped shirt he could throw over it. It didn't look half-bad, paired with high-waisted shorts and a couple of borrowed accessories (a pink belt and huge hoop earrings from Gareth's sister). He already owned a pink scrunchie - a gift from Steve - which he used to tie his hair into a high ponytail.

On the bus, he felt slightly self-conscious, making him realise how much he relied on his metalhead armour on a daily basis. The way kids dressed up these days and the fact that he wasn't the only one on his way to see Barbie helped him blend in. So while it felt that way, he wasn’t actually standing out.

As it turned out, definitely not as much as Steve.

While Robin decided to recreate the striped costume look to her best ability (the top and the bottom didn't really match but the reference was apparent enough), Steve decided on a pink tennis outfit, with a pleated skirt. He even shaved his legs.

His hair has grown out long enough to tie it into a tiny ponytail, which was, in Eddie's objective opinion, fucking adorable.

He approached his friends and, unable to help himself, tugged on the skirt.

"Somebody understood the assignment," he smiled teasingly, laughing when Steve swatted his hand away, straightening the pleats. “Aced it, even.” Then, both to preserve his sanity and socialize properly, he turned to Robin. “You both look great.”

"I can't hold a candle to our diva here."

Steve preened, twisting his hips so the skirt twirled around his thighs. Which again, fucking adorable. Eddie's queer heart was on fire. He wanted to tug on the hem of the skirt, play with the white collar, and tip the visor askew. Touch every part of the outfit and the person in it because Steve Harrington wore a skirt to a Barbie screening. It was like he wanted Eddie to die of a heart attack.

Thankfully, they arrived just in time for the movie to start and couldn’t ruminate on their Barbie-inspired outfits. When buying popcorn, Eddie lagged behind, hoping the view in front of him inspires him enough to maybe, finally, ask Harrington out. After the movie, perhaps. He’s heard great reviews so far, it may just give him the nudge he needs. 

They found their pre-ordered seats and Eddie watched Steve's skirt ride up sinfully high when he crossed his legs. Torture.

"You look great by the way. Colours look good on you," his friend leaned in to whisper. The theatre was running the commercials and some people still talked at full volume, so it wasn’t like he had to do that. "You're wearing the scrunchie," he observed too.

"I am. I wear it all the time," Eddie answered with a frown, almost offended at the implication that he wouldn’t. He leaned back to look at Steve. His eyes were sparkling in the dim theatre.

"Yeah?"

He shrugged, playing it cool in front of The Boy.

"Yeah, just. Not in public." 

In the comfort of his home, when he was practising guitar, doing the dishes, or cooking. Doing domestic shit alone, missing his friends. Thinking of Steve.

The commercials ended and the lights went off. Steve's fingers brushed against Eddie's arm as he pulled back to sit comfortably. Just a fleeting, accidental touch; Casual and friendly, but it left him reeling.

Eddie braced himself for almost 2 hours of sitting in the dark next to Steve's bare thighs.

Alas, no amount of bracing could prepare him for Steve's fingers against his skin, this time intentional and teasing. For how when he silently reprimanded him, knocking his knuckles against his knee half-playfully, he grasped them and pressed down, letting his hand rest on the bare skin. 

For the second half of the movie, all Eddie could think of were shades of pink and soft skin.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - New & Old Tropes Galore

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 7 of 12 - occasionally I forget that Yai is like 20 and this is his first love affaire. That poem bit gave me very Goethe vibes. Lots of doomed lesbians in this ep. Doomed love in general. Frankly? I was hoping for more oil less sad. Also, these two are making some v stupid mistakes. Also: MORE boys dancing.

Finally... who was it wanted a rain kiss? You got your rain kissing here, okay? No umbrellas to be had, apparently.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love them so much. They are so darn adorable. I like how forthright Kang is. Boy has no game and is such a dork but at least he's enthusiastic. I love the “my boyfriend smells good” trope that BL is into these days. I’m into it, too. The bff enemies drunken bathroom shenanigans was v funny. Also @heretherebedork your boys are couple dancing all over the damn place this week.

I guess we get the boyfriends ep next week?

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The conflict really kind of wasn’t in this last ep. But I guess it was a fine, if not a particularly strong, ending. I wish we’d had the family conflict threaded throughout the series. It would have felt like a deeper more honest drama and the actors could have handled it. They’re ready. How pretty were Joong’s single picturesque crystal tears? Honestly, it's been lovely, boys. Not at all memorable, but lovely.

Quick pitch Hidden Agenda: 

A relatively simple and harmless old-fashioned style university Thai BL, that started out Cyrano de Bergerac style but then drifted away into forgetfulness. It felt like it could have fit into the En of Love universe, except that it was high quality GMMTV with very pretty makeup. I enjoyed it for what it was, it's just that wasn’t much. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 5 of 8 - Am I mostly watching this for Est and annoyed he doesn’t have a pair? Yes. (Am I writing a whole revenge plot in my head: "seduced to the good side by my enemy's hot bodyguard" with him and the Tem character? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s way too KinnPorsche for this show.) That said, MaxNat really are a great pair. Nice that Dio is figuring out how evil his own family is. Weirdly, I kind of like this speculation that if gay marriage were legal rich families would use it for arranged-marriage power plays. Can you imagine what China would do with this concept if they had access to it? 

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The morning after was sweet, I do like it when we get these scenes in BL. FYI no one misgendered Bojji except the caption writer. The screaming "discovery" scene was adorable. And I am very much falling in love with all of the side characters. I also love how aggressive Yang is, like he stepped out of a 2016 Chinese BL into Thailand. And I adore the main brother relationship.

I have to say, this is going to be a difficult BL for me to review. I didn’t like the first 4 episodes but it seems like I’m going to love the final 3. I’m actually really looking forward to the finale next week. Boy, do I feel strange about this. In other news, is it just me or is it weird to get a gay kiss from Ngern almost 10 years later? How late is too late for smooching a boy? 

Never too late...

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally brings us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance based on the novel of the same name. I think we can expect this to be sad (so it will likely slide down my list as I become more confident about this). Mix is a great actor, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but I am warning you this won’t be your classic fluffy Thai BL. It’s a bit slow moving for me so far. Meanwhile, a revelation:

Thai high school BL is all about the hands. I blame Love Sick.

FYI the outdoor movie they watch is Love of Siam Thailand’s first real queer movie, also featured in My Only 12%.

I'm in trouble, Ongsa is such a sunshine cutie and Sansoon is so lost and sad. Pretty sure I won’t have the patience for 12 episodes of this, but I’ll stick with it for now because a pair like this is yaoi-induced catnip for me.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 8 of 10 - Ah, Ray, baby, you can’t get what you want if you want the wrong thing. Also, corruption charges much? Is Ray turning into Ton or is that just me? I still hold that Jenny’s is the only story I actually wanted. Although, I did enjoy the two bi boys bonding over Freddie. GMMTV sure is making good use of Title now that they got him away from Wabi Sabi and I’m NOT mad about it (4 shows & counting). Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have dropped this show by now. But something keeps dragging me back.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Right Time Right You ep 6 - This couplet ended up feeling like an amateurish short. It was interesting in that way shorts can sometimes push into unusual territory, but very slow. My favorite so far, but that’s not saying much since we've only had 3. Kinda amorphous ending. 5/10 watch it if you have nothing better to do. Next week's looks pretty but silly: You Are My Soulmate.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 5 of 10 eps - I don’t understand the bit with the girl, car & eyebrows. Was that all just ad copy? This show is so bad I’m mostly fast forwarding now. I mean the leads are cute and earnest but that’s it. NO SINGING! And... nothing happened this ep. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 7-8 of 13(?) - Buckle up I got A LOT to say. Ep 7 was the boyfriends ep! Look there’s a a lot of problematic going on here by western standards: age gap (FYI age of consent in Taiwan is 16) + teacher+student, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you should know that Taiwan likes both high heat and taboo content (and so do I) plus (unlike Mame) they just lean lube into those kinks. And I, for one, am delighted. I talk about taboo in terms of age gap here and stepbrothers here. I’ve never done teacher/ student because we don’t get it often enough (insert sad face). These are not things that I’m going to complain about or rehash, so, moving on...

I found a lot to love about ep 7: tie grabs, smiley kisses, communication, being held down, younger aggressor, AND preliminary research= all good things. They even brought in morning aftercare, and shared trauma! I love a show that’s both unexpected yet entirely classic Taiwanese BL. I love that the family appeared as a plot device and then disappeared again. It’s all highly amusing.

Gaga dropped ep 8 a week early, I’m assuming this was a mistake since they skip next week. But hey! 

Ep 8: def uhaul lesbians. Also cute queer fam moment. Ring finger biting = v hawt. Then of course it all goes south. Tres romantic means of taking the rap, gotta say. No one does gay sappy quite like Taiwan. Also, now we know why he loses his memory and Ai Di has to go in after him. Honestly, I’m not pleased to see yet another amnesia trope raise its ugly… head (why so many this year?). But it seems to be this year's trend. 

And I know there is more trauma coming, but in classic Taiwan fashion it’s all gonna be fine in the end even if that HEA is chaotic and entirely unearned. Don't worry, all. We good.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 10 - Oh noes, sunshine has a cold. And not from the rain... just, like, a normal cold. Amazing. But then when baby gets kidnapped, daddy gets v mad. Honestly, I am charmed by the show. It is very old-fashioned "domineering CEO puts little lady up against the wall" and it’s Taiwan, and thus I am not mad about it. This is what we would be getting from Mainland China if China we’re still making pulp BL. I am disposed to simply enjoy the utter "80s bodice ripper but gay"-ness of it all.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - from 2022. If you have premium icky VIP you can binge it all now. I don’t, so instead I’m watching it 2 new episodes every Weds. Struggling heartbroken loser-ish office worker who lives off junk food + sunshine neighbor who loves to cook (from his past with a long-held crush). Also there is a "love class" element. Why does Korea like this conceit so much? Do their universities really engage in socialization training? Gotta say I’m getting whiffs of stalker... but only whiffs. Basically, this show is going poster child “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach“. Bit too much flashback, but I like that our chef is open about liking a boy, and I like that they remember things differently and in alignment with their own egos. And I like that we got a confession already. Ah KBL, it is nice to watch something that MUST move plot quickly. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Jealous weatherman is ridiculous. Japan = queen of “why don’t you guys just talk?” 

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 - Ba Vinh & Minh Thao reprising their roles as Dung & Khoa what do we think? 8 eps? 10? We got the stepbrothers (or whatever they are) backstory. Also My Prettiest Cat-boy does certifiable nutcake v well. Psychopath looks hot on him.  

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - The sound. No. DNF 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be.

Unfortunately I Cannot Reach You, in classic JBL fashion, could not be reached. 

In case you missed it?

Viki dropped Our Dating Sim the movie. I didn’t notice any extra footage and they took out all the in game/high school flashback stingers. At first, I didn’t really miss them but by the end of the movie I really did. So this is going to be one of those rare KBL instances where I recommend sticking to the original series over the repackaged movie.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming October BL

10/1 Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

10/5 If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings. I am assuming 8 eps and rumored to be taking Weatherman's spot so that date is likely wrong.

10/6 What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. Season 2 will follow the couple as they enter their 50’s. Slice-of-life drama adapted from a beloved manga series of the same name.

10/6 My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - This is the 3rd and final installment the series. The 2nd season didn’t blow me away the way the 1st did, but I still liked it. I'm looking forward to the finale. I hope we get character growth for a change.

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

October? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

There was a ton of truly great stuff in this week's Kiseki, but this was hands down my favorite. (Pun intended.)

Oh and the neck kisses of course.

I LOVE HIM your honor.

GMMTV's ongoing love affair with the scent trope.

Calling out out new couple's dance trope. (Both Dangerous Romance)

(Last week) 

[inthegoodbooks]

the hobbit (review)

Right, I know I am a million years late here (ok, more like 87) but jesus fucking christ I loved this book. I’ve been a fan of the Lord of the Rings films since I first saw them with my dad back in the early noughties but having never sat through an entire The Hobbit movie (soz) I didn’t know that much about the story of this one tbh. I knew there was a dragon? Some treasure? A group of dwarves and maybe one of them is gay and totally into Bilbo? (That may have been more tumblr’s version of events but I was willing to believe it and - guess what - still willing to believe it tbh.)

Some of my preconceived notions of course were accurate (ok, all of them) but what I didn’t anticipate was just how much I would bloody love it. Tolkien’s style gets a lot of praise, understandably so, but I wasn’t aware of just how much it would gel with me. Its almost satire-like humour was flawless, and it really gave me the impression of someone sitting me down to tell me a bedtime story; of course, this was exactly how these books were initially intended and it shows. But it works. I am totally of the opinion that this would make a fabulous audiobook, and I can’t wait to check them out in a couple of years once I’ve done my first proper read-through.

My favourite thing about this were the introductions we get to all of the different creatures, races and creeds in Middle Earth. The elves, goblins (orcs in later works) and eagles in particular were an absolute joy to read and get to know. Legoloas’ character in the films was always my favourite (my big queer crush on Orlando Bloom in a blonde wig may have had an influence there but we’re not here to talk about that…) so it was super fun to get to know some of the elves in this novel. I love the idea that the elves were fully just living their lives with Bilbo kicking about all invisible, making no noise whatsoever. The things he must have been privy to… I digress…

The eagles were a great introduction too. My partner and I watched The Return of the King on the night I finished this and I was so delighted to fully appreciate their significance at the end. A dear co-worker of mine (and HUGE Tolkien fan) has said they play an even more interesting role in The Silmarillion so I am really looking forward to reading that once I’m done with the original trilogy.

Everything in me wants to binge them now, but I have some big reading plans over the next few months so I am planning on doing one a month. Considering I read this in two days, I don’t think that is beyond the possibility of belief.

Well done Tolkien, you have impressed. 5 stars, obviously.

[anniflamma]

Rating the most gayest King David adaptions

For the past few weeks, I have been watching and reviewing ALOT different adaptations of the story of King David from the Bible to determine which ones are the gayest.

But first, let me provide you with a recap of David and Jonathan's story.

David and Jonathan were two central figures in the Hebrew Bible, with their story primarily found in the First Book of Samuel. David was a ruddy shepherd boy who became famous for slaying the giant Goliath with a stone and a sling. Jonathan, on the other hand, was the son of King Saul, the first king of Israel. Jonathan's heart was captured instantly upon seeing the striking young hero. As the Bible says, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David.” Shortly after their first meeting, David and Jonathan expressed their commitment by making a covenant with each other. This significant moment is vividly portrayed in 1 Samuel 18:3-4: "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and presented it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow, and girdle." David and Jonathan grew so close that it appeared they might one day rule Israel together throughout the following 15 years. However, they faced numerous challenges when King Saul grew jealous of David's popularity and success, fearing that David might take the throne from his family. Saul attempted to kill David multiple times, while Jonathan consistently came to his friend's rescue through various means. However, they were eventually forced to part ways. "And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the South, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times. They kissed one another and wept, one with another, until David exceeded." Tragically, Jonathan lost his life in battle against the Philistines, leaving David in deep mourning. He composed a heartfelt lament known as the "Song of the Bow" (or what is famously called “How the Mighty Fallen”) to honor Jonathan and Saul's memory. "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women."

So, as you can see, I will rate each adaptation based on its portrayal of three specific moments:

Jonathan removes his clothes and makes a covenant with David.

When they have to separate from each other, as they embrace, kiss, cry, and David exceeds.

David's lament that he loved Jonathan more than women.

If these three moments are faithfully retained in the adaptation without altering the text, it will be considered queer in my evaluations. Naturally, there may be exceptions if the adaptation deviates significantly from the original material or if it primarily focuses on adapting specific aspects of the story while still hinting at or incorporating subtexts. In such cases, they may also receive points.

NOW, LET'S BEGIN!

Disclaimer: Some of these "reviews" will sound professional, while others I will act like a gremlin, because these movies actually broke my brain cells. So if you get whiplash from how my behavior suddenly changes all the time, consider yourself warned.

Another disclaimer: Don't be like me and do something similar to this... I don't think this was healthy for my brain.

Jonathan what now..? 1/5

So I'm going to be kind and bring up that the story of King David is long, especially if you make an adaption of his whole life. It's reasonable to expect modifications to accommodate the chosen medium. And frequently, this leads to Jonathan's character being sidelined, either because he's deemed less important or because there's too little time to delve into his role in the story.

Due to that, I won't delve deeply into those adaptions because of that.

Superbook Reimagined (2011) - CBN

Jonathan doesn't exist in Superbook... That all. I WONT TALK ABOUT THE SUPERBOOK.

David and Goliath - Animated Stories from the Bible (1985) - Rich Animation Studios

So this one is pretty interesting. Apparently the same studio that made The Swan Princess (1994) made the series called Animated Stories from the Bible. And I weren't aware of this while watching this episode, however I did noticed, that yes, this had a very low budget but you could tell that it was made by professionals. I have one thing I need to comment on this movie. Eliab and Jonathan looks pretty goooood...

I mean LOOK AT JONATHAN! FFF***KING HELL! HE LOOKS LIKE A HOT VILLIAN AND I LOVE IT! The character designs are sleek! Expect for David. David was trash. So why is this one so low down on my ratings? You see the episode only focus on the upcoming fight between David and Goliath. In a sense, the episode's emotional core are more about David and his brother Eliab, with the brother not believing that David could defeat the enemy. Jonathan has a really small role, and he doesn't really interact with David that much. However there is a scene, when Saul gives his armor to the shepherd and it doesn't fit him cuz he is a smol bean, Jonathan comments on that the boy is going to get killed while having this frustrating / angry tone. Indicating that Jonathan don't believe that David and of course get astonished once he triumph. But that is all we get. I wished I could rate this higher simply to I just love the character designs.

David - A Musical by Sound & Sight Theater

Alright, I'm going to say it. This is probably the most campiest and "we need to tell you about Jesus" - musical there is. The songs are freaking great, very modern, almost anime-ish and very EPIC! But then they suddenly they strike you with, "Hey do you know who Jesus is?" Anyway, my favorite songs of this musical is Never Back and Psalm 24.

I only listened to this musical on its recorded album. Overall, I found it very enjoyable! However, I was quite disappointed that they didn't have Jonathan none of their songs. There were no solos for him, and all I could do was imagine if there was a strip covenant scene or not between each number. They didn't even have a "We are best bros" song! They also removed a lot from the emotional core when David mourned the loss of Jonathan. David sings the song "How The Mighty Fall," which is very short, but for some reason, I really liked it. Even though it's short and David only repeats Jonathan's name over and over again, I could feel that sadness. Still, the musical also left out several scenes from the original story, possibly because it aimed to be more family-friendly and was very sanitized so no one would get upset. AND WHY IS THIS MUSICAL ENDING WITH JESUS?!!

David “the straightest man” and Michal his truest love that has ever existed before Bathsheba came into the picture and a lot of Shoulder Taps for Jonathan 2/5

Superbook (1981) - Tatsunoko Productions

I can't believe that I watched three episodes of Superbook... Can I explain this mess without dying inside? So, this is a Japanese anime from 1981. The series covers the events of the entire Bible in its 52-episode run. I watched the English dub, and yeah, what else can I say? It's probably the best dub I've ever heard, with genius acting, including their screams. You can tell they aren't really screaming because they know it will break the mics. To get straight to the point, their relationships are just good friendships, and they see each other as brothers. However, they do follow the story very faithfully, pun intended. But, of course, they add in more scenes with Michal so her relationship with David looks romantic, and Jonathan takes on a wingman role. There is no stripping scene, which is understandable since it's an animated series for kids. Instead, they merge the covenant scene with their separation. To sum it up, they shake hands and repeatedly tell the audience that they are only friends. Okay, we get it!

But then we have the Lament scene: "Oh Lord, may you have mercy on his soul. Your glory, O Israel, has been slain. How the mighty have fallen in battle. I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother… My brother…" THEY WERE SO CLOSE! They looked at the rest, "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women," and then they were like CUT! But the best delivery line in this adaptation must go to Saul: "How stupid to believe he could murder a hundred philistines without being murdered HA HA HA HA!" I can't do this anymore…!

King David (1997) - Mondo TV

This Italian animated movie features child actors who can't seem to deliver a line without mumbling and speaking at the lowest decibel levels imaginable. Thank goodness that Kid David and Kid Jonathan grew up after… Let me check… The first 15 minutes of this movie… Well, they are childhood friends in this one, so I guess that's a win. Michal is from Sweden. Saul repeatedly tells his (also Swedish) wife to stfu in every scene he's in. Storywise, this movie shakes things up a bit. When David is chased into the wilderness, both Michal and Jonathan join him…? It's really confusing what's going on because the next moment Jonathan is back with Saul, hearing his plan to attack David in the mountains, so he runs back to David to deliver the news. All of this happens in about 3 minutes. But when they finally have their farewell scene, they, of course, do the Shoulder Tap! However, they hug with an animation that lasts for like 3 frames, and… you know what, I'll just let you witness this…

And then we have the Lament. It's pretty faithful, but as you guessed, they changed the last line from "You were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." to "I loved Jonathan as a brother. We rode together, his hair flowing free in the wind." …I don't know if they made it worse or better…

King David - A musical by Alan Menken & Tim Rice

I acted like a fangirl when I realized that Alan Menken and Tim Rice had created a musical about King David! I was so hyped and really thought it was going to be really gay... I think I expected too much...

The musical premiered in 1997 and was a grand and ambitious show. While it may not be as well-known as some of Menken and Rice's other collaborations, such as "The Little Mermaid" or "Beauty and the Beast," I was blown away that this musical even existed in the first place. The music itself is really good. It reminds me of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" but more campy. My favorite is the song "The Death Of Saul." Genius! And of course, "Never Again," sung by Judy Kuhn. There are so many Disney stars in this show! It's insane! However, this musical is not without its flaws. The story's scope, which covers many events, can at times feel rushed or disjointed. The mistake that the creators made was trying to cover it all. So the musical has 2 acts. The first is about David in his younger years until he becomes king, and the second act covers everything from Bathsheba to Absalom's revolt, ending with kid Solomon singing about Jerusalem. This results in Jonathan becoming like a background character, and this makes me really angry. So almost every scene that David and Jonathan have together, Jonathan is replaced with Michal. TIM?! ALAN?! What are you two doing??? You are basically telling us, without explicitly telling us, that the relationship of David and Jonathan is queer by having Michal instead. Like... what..? This is the same guy who made "Jesus Christ Superstar," and that show is definitely "not straight", so I have no idea what's going on in his head. Anyway, Jonathan has only 1 song/melody called "You Have It All." It's when Saul shows that he's going crazy when David becomes popular, and Jonathan takes David away from the palace to a safe place. Sigh... You can tell by the lyrics that Tim is trying to be cheeky but immediately backtracks by having both David and Jonathan overly articulate the word "friend" in the song. (I seriously recommend you to listen to the song, just so you understand what I mean.) DAVID "I love my friend!!! as I love life and both I cherish. Uncompromising and unfailing. I swear this covenant we make will never perish. In any circumstance prevailing" JONATHAN "It's very hard when things come easy. You start to fear a bitter end. I promise you, you have a friend!!!" However, Jonathan gets a reprise again in the separation scene, but then Michal suddenly pushed Jonathan aside and takes it over with her own song. Then we have the Lament. The song itself is really good and beautiful. It's like a sad Disney song. But the lyrics themselves have this uncertain tone on who David is singing about. But they do reveal it at the end. "Jonathan... Jonathan... Who loved me more bravely than you, whether harlots or wives!" We can clearly see that David mourns over him. But for me, it feels so awkward...

They are just friends..? 3/5

The King: Story of David (2004)

I felt like I was on shrooms watching this. There's this three-minute scene where David sings to Saul... I can't even explain it, it's just horrible. Poor Saul looks absolutely horrified when this abomination of character design from a different show enters the room and sings with the voice of an adult woman.

AND WHY IS MICHAL PURPLE?! They also switch her name’s pronunciations like 5 times in this movie... Well, about Jonathan. So they took the approach that David is a literary child and had Jonathan as an adult… What the hell am I supposed to say about this? Oh god... I hate this.

Then David grows up, gets the same artstyle as the other adults and instead of Saul nagging David to marry Michal, it's David himself that asks Saul to marry his daughter, just to make sure that we know that he loves her soooo much. This results in Saul wanting to kill him, which leads to the separation scene. So maybe you are now asking me, why is this movie up here on the list? Looks like they made sure that David was the straightest man that has ever straightening. Oooh, I’ll get there. So we get to see a jpg of David and Jonathan look at each other for like 10 seconds, then tap each other on their shoulders, look at each other eyes and David says with the most sultry voice ever “Jonathan…”. Surprisingly, hug each other and weep. huh… didn't expect that. That voice that David used was enough to make the whole freaking movie a gay so that's why it's up here. If I ever have to watch this again, I need to get paid.

The Bible (2013)

Ah, yes, I remember this one. I watched it when it aired on TV, and I was just a wee little teen falling in love with the guy who played Samson. But we'll be watching the fourth episode of "The Bible Series." This episode was a speed run through the whole story of David, with a lot of stuff cut. Yet, the subtext in this adaptation is gorgeous! We have David walking to Goliath and Jonathan looking on with worry in his eyes—MULTIPLE TIMES! And miraculously, the actor managed to hit Goliath despite having the freaking sun in his eyes at full blast. That poor actor with his nonstop squinted eyes couldn’t see shit on set. Once Goliath is defeated, Jonathan and Saul run to David and are proud of him. All we get from the Covenant Stripping scene is Jonathan taking David's hand and telling him to come with him and fight the enemies, like best bros! Then a montage arrives, and David and Jonathan are older. Saul is jealous and touches David a little too much for my comfort. Meanwhile, Jonathan is just sitting on the floor eating figs. Wat?

And then Saul proposes the idea that David should marry Michal, and Jonathan's face falls. Gasp! David gets sent to kill 100 Philistines, and we get this wonderful scene with Saul and Jonathan. Saul: "You love him like a brother, don't you?" Jonathan responds with a warm, soft smile, looking at David riding away. "I do..." Saul gives off big "My son is totally straight" vibes. Sadly, this episode neither has the separating scene nor anything that resembles a covenant. And yes, they also skipped the majority of the Lament. Maybe I am projecting... I am probably projecting.

They are friends! I PROMISE! 4/5

King David (1985) - Paramount Pictures

This movie provides a different angle on the biblical story of David and Jonathan. The film includes a line that suggests a strong emotional connection between the two characters, though it doesn't explicitly delve into romance. It doesn't say that David and Jonathan are in a romantic relationship, but it makes you think that they have deeper layers to their "bond." In other words, I really ship them in this adaptation! They didn't have the strip scene, but they did have a scene where both of them are at a lake, water sparkling in the sun, looking into each other's eyes. Jonathan softly cups David's cheek and says, "I love you as I love my own soul."

... Wait, he touched his shoulder softly, not his cheek... Forget it. But they are very tender toward each other. However, we can't have great things because the separation scene was very weak. All we get is that they are both on horses, and then they just say goodbye, and that's it. No hugs, no tears, no kissing, and no exceeding David. But I can add that Jonathan's death was very heartbreaking. After watching awful animated death scenes, it was a breath of fresh air. The Lament, for some reason, had a spooky tune, not really like a man grieving for his soulmate. Why is this adaptation so high up for me? Well, Jonathan said "I love you" while looking into David's eyes with a beautiful natural background. That is enough for me.

Ancient Lovers 5/5

Beloved King: A queer bible musical

(There mentions of SA)

You can already tell by the name of the musical... "Beloved King" follows the young shepherd David as he is thrust from rural fields into the royal court. After his sudden rise to prominence, David finds himself the object of affection of both the heir to the throne, Prince Jonathan, and his father, the domineering King Saul, forcing David to re-navigate his relationship to love and power as he tries to follow the path laid out for him by a mysterious entity called God. The first-ever staged readings of "Beloved King," complete with all songs and live accompaniment, were scheduled for March 12th and March 13th, 2020, at Oberon, the second stage of the American Repertory Theater, in Harvard Square. Both events sold out well in advance, but they were canceled the day before opening due to COVID-19. However, the team rallied and quickly pivoted to film a dress rehearsal in an empty theater just before lockdown. One of the most hilarious things about this musical is that the characters are dressed in simple linen garments that look like they belong in a children's nativity school play, only to have David and/or Jonathan strip and expose their flashy sparkling spandex briefs. Undeniably, it fits perfectly with the nightclub-inspired atmosphere that this show has.

This musical feels like it's straight from the Archive of Our Own. Jonathan and David are dating, and we have a jealous Saul who is not jealous of David's popularity, instead, he desires him sexually and tries to bang him. When David denies Saul, that's when Saul tries to kill him instead.

The musical has all three scenes checked. The covenant scene, with Jonathan stripping and "more." There was a scene of their farewell, however, they haven't released that one song, so I can't really say anything about it yet. Lastly, the lament song in its full glory. Sadly, the whole musical isn't out yet. They have only released six demo samples, and let me say that "ADONI" is THE MEET-CUTE SONG!

This musical was the very thing that made me nerd out on the Bible again. So maybe I am biased, but how can I be biased if they depict David and Jonathan's first meeting with them banging each other in Jonathan's tent?

David et Jonathas: An opera by Marc-Antoine Charpentier

This one was a hidden gem I didn't know existed. Thank you @alatabouleau for the recommendation! It's an opera from 1688. It's all in French, so I was worried that I would have missed all of the lyrics, but I found a translation pamphlet and found one of the concerts on the live-opera Versailles website. All I can say is it was beautiful and so, so, so queer.

The prologue starts with Saul, disguised as a visitor, consulting the Witch of Endor to learn his fate in an upcoming battle against the Philistines. The Witch summons the spirit of Samuel, who predicts Saul's downfall, including losing his family and crown.

In Act 1, David, banished by Saul, seeks refuge among the Philistines. He returns from a victory and is praised by warriors, shepherds, and freed captives. David only wishes that, whatever may come, Jonathan should be spared. The Philistine king tells David that a truce has been arranged between the Philistines and Saul to discuss whether there shall be peace or war.

In Act 2, during the truce, David and Jonathan reunite. And then they both sing the song “A vostre bras vainqueur,” and it's the most beautiful harmonic song I have ever heard. It sounds so romantic, even if they are only singing about them being best friends. However, jealousy brews as Joabel challenges David to combat, leading to a plot against him. Joabel convinces Saul that David is a threat, leading to David's exile again.

In Act 3, Saul accuses David of treason, and David is forced to leave. However, Jonathan follows David into the wilderness so they can sing their goodbye, “Vous me fuiez!” Don’t forget this is an opera, so everyone is really dramatic, and I'm loving it. JONATHAN “You flee from me!” DAVID “You always follow me!” JONATHAN “May I not share my grief with you?” DAVID “See into what danger my misfortune leads you. Let us forget one another.” JONATHAN “Cruel one!“ The song continues with them singing about not wanting to be apart and if they see each other in the battlefield, they won’t fight, but instead save the one they love. And then the song ends with David trying to leave again, and Jonathan begs once more, only to be told by David: “Would you now wish to add to my torment with your tears?”

This song… I want to make an animatic of it...

In Act 4, Saul prepares to battle the Philistines and David. Both armies are eager for war, fueled by Joabel's manipulations. David promises to save Jonathan and his father.

And lastly, in Act 5, the battle unfolds, with Saul's defeat. Then the song “Qu’on sauve Jonathas” starts. Jonathan is mortally wounded, and David finds him. He believes that Jonathan is dead and mourns for him, which wakes Jonathan up to be able to speak to David one last time, asking: “What sad voice is calling me?”. David begs Jonathan for him to live, but the prince tells him that he can’t. And with his final words, he kisses David and then dies in his arms.

“Despite the harshness of my fate, At least I can still tell you that I love you. ” David is to be declared the new king of Israel, but he still grieves for Jonathan, ending the opera with his final line: “I have lost what I love. My Lord, to me all is lost.”

Well, I cried in my bed.

I didn't know that I needed a story where David was by Jonathan's side in his last moments in life. And the kiss! THE KISS! Though the kiss depends on which adaptations you see. If it's 2022, then there is no kiss, but if it's the 2012 version, then there is one. However, with or without a kiss, it's still romantically tragic.

Here is PDF links to pamphlets with english translations:

English translation (2009 version)

English + German translation (1998 version)

The Prince's Psalm: A novel by Eric Swan Quinn

So here it is, Beloved King: A queer bible musical was the one that pushed me down into the rabbit hole but The Prince's Psalm was the one that got me stuck here. I highly recommend this book, and it leaves me speechless how it isn't more popular! So The Prince’s Psalm is a queer and romantic retelling of the story of David and Jonathan from the Bible. The book begins with David's childhood, providing perspectives on his early life and relationships, especially with Micah and David’s family. Micah and David had a deep friendship that grew into young love and they became each other's firsts. A core theme that comes up regularly in this novel is about being treated and viewed as equal in a healthy relationship. Micah held a weird place in my heart. I enjoyed “not liking” him. I could immediately see his immaturity in his relationship with David. Of course, I understand they were both young  and immature, yet this was important to emphasize the message, which I believe it’s about being equal in a relationship. Micah loved David, but he saw him somewhat beneath him due to David not fitting the stereotypical masculine man image. And every time they "play" with each other Micah calls David "My Slave" despite David's irritated and uncomfortable of it. So the moment when Jonathan is introduced, the first thing he calls David is "My Prince" and do everything that David wishes Micah would do for him but wouldn't. If we are going to compare Jonathan and Micah, it's pretty obvious which one are the right choice. But who cares about Micah, we are talking about Jonathan and David now! So the plot follows Jonathan summons David, hoping on his musical talents to aid King Saul's from being tormented by “evil spirits”. David's initial experiences within the palace only reinforce his sense of inadequacy in the eyes of those he admires and cares for. He plays tirelessly, day and night, in an effort to soothe the king's troubles, ultimately healing King Saul's fears of God’s abandonment. From that moment forward, Jonathan can no longer resist David's charms, leading the two to become inseparable. As they spend a winter together, their bond deepens, uniting their bodies and souls. The novel doesn't delve into explicit sexual scenes, instead, it focuses on the emotional connection between the two characters. Nevertheless, they do have quite a lot of intense passionate sessions, it just written with a flowery language. So their oath, the exchanged rings, the beautiful yet sad promises, is heart moving. Every moment felt perfect and captivating! Jonathan's death left me shattered. I cried a lot. And cried even more when the book included the whole Lament. After devouring all 480 pages, I found myself wanting the story to continue. Eric Shaw Quinn made a wonderful job in reimagining the familiar narrative yet adding new in depth layers to it. I wholeheartedly love this novel! So is it gay? Yes.

THE END!

Finally, I have finished everything. There was more, but there is no way in hell I will continue.

What did I learn from this experience?

Nothing really, except that the people whose arguments claim that David and Jonathan's relationship isn't romantic at all, yet in the same breath, they can replace Jonathan with Michal, and suddenly it is romantic. I learned that their arguments are worthless at the core.

But despite with the pain and cringing, I loved nerd out about my favorite David and Jonathan adaptations! And I think I did this just because of that.

[slasheru]

Slasher U 1-Year State of the Union / Unholy Census!

Holy fucking shit we're coming along towards the 1-year anniversary of the release of the Slasher U Act 1 alpha!! We've come SO FUCKING FAR. Sawyer wasn't even a romanceable option back in the day! As of April 27th, it'll be Slasher U's first ever anniversary!

Mostly, I am SO FUCKING GRATEFUL that you all came along on the adventure to make my weird horny dating RPG a smash fucking hit!! Taking narrative seriously in dating/adult games was kind of my entire M.O (is?? mods??) and I am SO GRATEFUL Y'ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO HERE lmao

THE BIG NUMBERS

As of 11:21 AM EST on 3/23/24, Slasher U: Act 1 has sold 6,100 copies across Steam & itch.io (Not including the copies sold as part of Games for Gaza that weren't redeemed/downloaded, so this only counts people who actually downloaded or bought the game!). This is obviously BEYOND MY WILDEST FUCKING DREAMS AND I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH HOLY SHIT. I didn't even realize it until I added it all together. (On top of this, we sold several fucking tens of thousands of games for Games for Gaza!! Hell yeah!)

For my fellow solo devs out there, this comes to Slasher U making a total of about $6,000 + $2,000 net USD through sales (the former) and crowdfunding (the latter, for Slasher U: Act 2) over the last 11ish months!! The game started off being free for the first 6ish months, then went to $6.69 for the Beta (with dong! whoa!!), and now at its full size, stands at a good ol' $14.99 for 15 hours of primo datin' sim!

This is objectively the most money I've ever made off of anything I've developed in my entire life, and paid my whole ass rent for the entire year, so THANK YOU HOLY SHIT. According to Steam, most indie games barely break $1k in total, so I am AGOG. FUCKING AGOG. THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY GAME AND LETTING ME MAKE MORE VIA NOT DYING FROM CAPITALISM

The average review score, across 89 reviews on itch.io, remains 4.9 out of 5 stars, and we're rocking a 93% Positive on Steam!!

THE UNHOLY CENSUS

The best part of Slasher U is, as I always say, THE STUDENT DISEMBODY!! Slasher U will always be a place where everything is gay and trans as fuck (although I'm also proud of writing my cishet storylines too :V /lh)! I knew y'all were gay (hello fellow gays) but I did not realize the QUEER FUCKING FORCE THE STUDENT DISEMBODY IS

Here's the demographics of Slasher U players as taken from Tumblr polls (that's a skewed sample size of about 280, so grain of salt here for the homo website for queers):

92.6% of you ID as queer (see below for the breakdown!) | 7.4% of you ID as straight

This fictional horror movie campus is: 48.5% bi/pan, 16.2% gay/mlm, 10.3% lesbian/wlw, 10.3% ace (oo tie!), 7.4% queer but not defined as above, and 7.4% straight!

61.9% of you ID as trans/not cis | 23.8% of you ID as cis | 14.3% of you ID as neither trans nor cis

46.8% of you are between 22-26 | 32.3% of you are between 18-21 | 16.1% of you are between 27-32 | 4.8% of you are between 32-45 | 0% of you are older than 45 (sample size I am guessing lol)

For 14.6% of you, Slasher U was the very first dating sim you've ever played (!). For 3.8% of you, Slasher U was the first indie game you've ever played (holy fucking shit!!! this is an actual absolute honor)

76.7% of you instinctively Road Runner away from Melyssa at the fountain in Act 1 | 23.3% let the Melyssa tsunami arrive at you

--

A FINAL WORD (FOR NOW) ON MAKIN' VIDJEE GAEMS

You should totally do it.

No, okay, but for real, I started working in games professionally in 2009 (yeah yeah i'm old. i am 32 and i am dying and they're coming for me in the corpse wagon etc) and I burned out in 2016 and came back two years ago with THIS THING and I can tell you RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW that, if you have ever wanted to make a game and the big guys aren't gonna do it, grab yourself and/or some friends and fuckin' make a video game. I have worked for a bunch of AA and mobile companies and I can tell you right the fuck now that this is the most fulfilling experience I have ever had writing a video game. I taught myself programming logic to make this thing! And sound design! I fucking learned to animate sprite sheets!! YOU CAN ALSO DO IT given the time and energy (pace yourself don't die)! And there won't be any execs around to tell you your weird niche game won't sell!! BECAUSE IT FUCKING WILL

Anyway, my entire career as a game designer, nobody let me write shit for them. You don't need permission to make stuff or write stuff. If you write it, they will fuckin' come, Field of Dreams style (also don't forget to tell everyone you made stuff and share it around. super key here. lmao). Turns out writing is all about sharing yourself with people, and who knows, you might just find that a fuckton of people ACTUALLY relate to you. (And that you're a pretty good writer. Which you knew. Yes, you. I am mixing metaphors and pointing to myself AND you now.)

xoxoxoxooxoxox,

Professor Plutonium

[waitmyturtles]

The Old GMMTV Challenge: The Master Post and Explainer

Updated: October 28, 2024

Hello! Welcome to The Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC), my personal syllabus and journey through the most important, and/or impactful, and/or seminal of Boys Love (BL)/Series Y dramas from Thailand.

I started watching Thai BL series in 2022 with the airing of KinnPorsche. From there, I dallied with shows that were referenced across Tumblr -- but I didn't dig into learning about the genre as a whole until I watched 2021-22's Bad Buddy, and was thoroughly moved by it in countless ways.

I subsequently learned that Bad Buddy was, in large part, constructed to communicate with tropes and expectations established previously by the genre. In order to get to a point where I could appreciate Bad Buddy in all of its historic glory, I therefore decided to start from the top -- to watch Thai BLs in chronological order so as to help me better understand the tentacles of this young genre. I was also impacted by a post from a BL Tumblr lifer, @absolutebl, who talked in 2022 about current shows by the GMMTV network, the biggest producer of BL dramas in Thailand, that were answering for mistakes made in the early Thai BL days.

Bad Buddy is a GMMTV show -- but in order to learn fully about the genre, I've created a syllabus of shows and movies that spans well outside the GMMTV network and sphere of influence. In the spring of 2023, I crowdsourced information about Thai BLs from the INCREDIBLE BL community on Tumblr, and came up with the syllabus below.

This syllabus is ever changing, especially as this young genre (which was arguably born in 2014 with the airing of Love Sick) continues to explore itself outside of its male-and-male romance genre boundaries, by centering women and/or non-binary individuals, and even leaving romance behind for horror, suspense, mystery, crime, and more.

Besides watching dramas on this syllabus, I'm also in the process of reading English-language books and articles about the Thai BL genre and its influences in Thailand and across Asia on queer and non-queer communities, as well as on the most marketed-to BL audience in young women. Links to reading materials are below the syllabus.

If you're looking to learn more about BL, this is but one resource to use. There's an incredible community of bloggers here with vastly more knowledge than me about the history of this genre. This is only my path, and I encourage you to explore the corners of Tumblr to create your own Thai BL journey!

The Drama Syllabus and Review/Meta Links

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) The Fallen Leaf (2019) (not a BL; adjacent to the project as Thailand’s first lakorn featuring a queer/transgender main character) (watching) 15) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 16) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 17) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 18) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 19) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 20) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here)

21) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here) 22) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 23) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 24) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 25) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 27) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 28) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 29) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 30) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here)

31) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here) 32) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 33) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 34) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 35) Secret Crush On You (2022) (review here) 36) The Miracle of Teddy Bear (2022) (review coming) 37) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here)  38) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist (part 1 and part 2) 39) Triage (2022) (review coming) 40) Honorable Mention: War of Y (2022) (for the sake of an attempt to provide meta BL commentary within a BL in the modern BL era), with a complementary watch of Aam Anusorn’s documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy (2020) (thoughts here)

41) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 42) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine "Genre BLs," Along With a Critical Take on Branded Ships (review here) 43) Khun Chai/To Sir, With Love (2022) 44) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) (review coming) 45) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023), Coupled with a Speed-Watch of My Love Mix-Up Thailand (2024) to Comment on GMMTV Trying to Make Magic Happen Twice 46) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 47) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 48) La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 49) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 50) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType)

51) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 52) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 53) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew) 54) Ossan’s Love Returns (Japan) (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake) 55) 23.5 (2024) (GMMTV’s first GL) (thoughts here)

Additional Reading Material

Dr. Thomas Baudinette, Boys Love Media in Thailand

Dr. Peter Jackson, Queer Bangkok

Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific -- Issue 49, Thai Boys Love (BL)/Y(aoi) in Literary and Media Industries: Political and Transnational Practices, June 2023

(Fandom reference) "Fan Leaders' Control on Xiao Zhan's Chinese Fan Community," Transformative Works and Cultures

(Fandom reference) "Xi Jingping Versus the Stans," Vox