#quaranthought

[wittygritty]

Sometimes, your worth to other people depends on who you are and what can you give to them.

[loveleianj]

Channeling Ellen Adarna's "I JUST LEFT, GWAPA KO" 🤣💖

[masokistangadventurer]

morning thoughts~

naisip ko, we have to live through this virus na talaga. hindi pwede ba forever tayo na nakalockdown kasi kawawa talaga yung mga nasa mababang sector ng society. ang problema kasi yung mga possible infected persons ay hindi nattrace agad kaya kumakalat yung virus. kung nacocontain naman yung pag spread ng virus at natetest yung mga possible infected persons, mas hindi na siya kakalat kasi alam na agad kung sino — maaisolate na agad.

pero wala e, yung data pa lang ng DOH at LGUs hindi na accurate. paano natin masasabi na reliable ang mga numbers na pinapakita nila everyday. siguro yung ibang LGUs accurate kasi may mga city naman na maayos yung pamamalakad pero paano yung iba. maayos nga yung pamamalakad nung isa pero paano yung ibang tao na galing sa ibang lugar na pwede makainfect sa mga tao don.

ang hirap kasi malaking tulong sana ang technology ngayon lalo na sa contact tracing. halos lahat naman kasi may cellphone na ngayon. kung nagagamit lang sana ng maayos ang budget natin at maayos yung namamahala hindi sana tayo ganito ngayon. in conclusion, we have to live through this na talaga. kanya kanyang pagiingat na lang tayo kasi wala naman tayo aasahan kung hindi sarili natin.

[edlinemrnz]

When people measure themselves not by their behavior, but by the status symbols they’re able to collect, then not only are they shallow, but they’re probably assholes as well.

Mark Manson

[patheticwithanem]

Living on the Edge

Because I have to throw in some Survivor reference at some point, right?

Much like Survivor’s Edge of Extinction twist, the year sucked. And 7 months in, it still continues to be this supermassive black hole, sucking you in, eating you alive (not sure the metaphor works but whatever). Week after week when you think there’s no way it could get any worse, 2020 continues to outdo itself. I think it’s fair to compare it to living on the Edge of Extinction where you’re still very much alive but there’s this creeping stench of death that will consume you from within. You’re out of the game (of life for a while) but you still have a chance to get back. You’re thrown to this place of nothingness that could either make or break you; you don’t have a lot going on, you’re basically just waiting for your chance to get back to the game and while waiting for that shot, you’ll have to dig deep for a lot of your inner strength because the anxiety will inevitably deplete you the longer you wait. While this is probably the worst metaphor I can use about my favorite TV show and life, it’s the sad and exhausting truth.

I can whine all day but to put matters in perspective, here’s a quick recap of what has been happening in the country and the world the past couple of months: a volcanic eruption in January that killed the livelihood of hundreds of families and businesses, earthquakes, wildfire in Australia, the US-China trade war turning to be more sour than ever, and to top it all of, the coronavirus pandemic. I’m sure there’s still a lot I missed out but for 7 months, that’s a lot to take in. And to be quite honest, these catastrophic events only made the cultural and political divides more apparent than ever. It doesn’t help when The Powers That Be are more keen on protecting their own interests rather than actually helping proactively solve our problems. From closing a major broadcast network, arresting and killing journalists, jailing the Opposition, a mockery of our rights for freedom of speech masked as an “anti-terrorism” bill, accumulation of national debt (to be paid by our generation and the generations to come), selective justice as the government’s alliances are exempted from the law, friends becoming richer and more powerful cronies, rampant extra-judicial killings, propaganda machines hellbent on misleading the masses, a culture of fanaticism that’s become rabid and toxic, corruption, abuse of authority, lies... I mean, I could go on and on.

Man, that got political really quickly. I’m sorry but my frustration’s at an all time high it’s become more personal to me now.

As for me, plans were put on a halt. I came in declaring that 2020′s gonna be my best year yet, and that I plan on making the most out of it and that I’m gonna MAKE THINGS HAPPEN (and for once, I actually meant it; I mean come on, I now have a planner and a journal!). But the world spit right in my face. And I still feel grossed out. I had this plan laid out for 2020: I was gonna be taking responsibility for my life, holding myself accountable for everything I did, I’ll do and refuse to do. I was ready to take bigger leaps and was gonna stop procrastinating (finishing what I started!). And as cliché as this sounds, I really wanted this year to be about me really finding myself. But the curveballs got me. I got really entangled with the same old (and some really bad habits from the deeper pasts). Instead of making quarantine my bitch, I became its bitch by getting caught up with bingeing TV and movies more than I probably should, eating more than I probably should (WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NEW AND SEXIER YOU IN 2020 BROTHER) and spending more than I probably should. I was even arguing with my family more than I probably should (totally embarrassing). I got in a huge fight with my dad about differences in political (and cultural) opinions and I decided to let my ego swallow me in entirety. We weren’t in speaking terms for about a month, in a really tiny house while we see each other 24/7 on quarantine. And then an intervention and a surprisingly refreshing meltdown (which I haven’t done in YEARS, in my defense lol). Old habits.

And the pandemic really took its toll on us financially too. Our incomes were significantly cut to the point that we have to move to a new place because we won’t be able to sustain this lifestyle. I personally have been really averse to change that the prospect of moving and having to start all over again overwhelmed me. And I hated the idea of losing our place because I really got emotionally attached to it - not just the house but the community and the memories too. I mean, the young community here made me feel a lot younger for the longest time (lol)! And the thought of losing that was a tough pill to swallow. So the past few months have been a slow burn, from setting up to sell the condo unit to having all these potential buyers viewing the house to also making all these ocular visits on potential places we’re gonna move to, all while going through all stages of grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. All down.

I had this weird thing going setting a Word of the Month when the year started. January was SEEDS and was about planting them which was an epic fail hence February’s word was RETRY (still was a huge clusterfuck by the way). March was VALUE, April was INTEGRITY, May was ENDURE, June was BREATHE. While I didn’t feel like I was able to really inhabit those words, I did have some moments like reaching my work quota in March and stayed true to a torturous 30-day financial detox (which is no easy feat!).

So July’s CHANGE. So  something’s got to change. As much as I want this year to be over already, I realized there’s still a few more months worth working on. Though easier said than done, I’ve got to let go of things I can’t control. Instead of waiting for the gyms to go operational again, maybe I should start watching my diet and doing home exercises for now. Instead of half-assing work, maybe I should really commit and see what happens. I’ve been trying to adapt to survive, but maybe the change is not just about surviving anymore. Maybe I need to thrive. We’re in this for the long haul (sadly) and reality’s hitting me: whether I change or not is completely up to me. Whether I survive, or thrive, or not, is completely up to me.

So maybe take it from the Edge of Extinction Queen Natalie Anderson (and Chris Underwood, fine). Maybe it’s time to work the Edge. I’ll have my time pushing through with those plans like visiting Bagan in Myanmar and Sapa in Vietnam. But maybe for now, it’s time I work the Edge.

[tswifteszz]

I have a cat question for u @taylorswift. Is it normal for my cat to love me whenever she gets hungry but forget me and act like I don't exist the rest of the time?

I'm starting to think she's a user, but I love her still.

-- her name is Taylor and she is a beautiful siamese cat

[missgirlinred]

ang sarap pala sa feeling na masabihan ng ‘you deserve better’ after all the shits you’ve been through. i thought kaya lang nila sinasabi yon kasi they want to make you feel better pero hindi pala. kasi ang totoo, deserve mong pahalagahan. deserve mong mahalin ng buo. deserve mong maging masaya ng tunay. ang saya lang kasi may taong nakakakita pala ng worth ko. nakikita niya pala kung gaano ako kahalaga. ang sarap din malaman na ideal girl pala ako ng isang lalaki. may gusto pa pala sakin. may gusto pa pala ng way of thinking ko. someone likes myself - ambitious, self-directed, medyo taklesa. doon ko lang narealize na i dont have to change for anyone. i dont have to change para magustuhan ng ibang tao. the right person will embraced me for who i am. and will not crave for more. doon ko lang din narealize na i should love myself more than i love anyone. and that made me want to choose myself over and over again. starting today, i will choose myself, my happiness, my personal growth over someone’s. and i believe i deserve that. :))

[maykatha]

it’s one of those nights,

i tried going to bed at around 9pm, setting my alarm to 5-ish am. i was feeling tired, as my eyes begun to feel heavy. hindi nga lang kasing bigat ng buhay na ‘to....i still can’t sleep. i’ve already watched 2 episodes of my annual_kinahihilingan_na_sitcom.mp4, i’ve already drank a glass of water, i’ve already said goodnight to ate kyla....hindi pa rin ako makatulog. 

an idea popped into my head and heart as if this wasn’t my go-to thing whenever i can’t fall asleep. turned on my flashlight, ugh. dagdag nanaman sa screen time ko. as i unfold and find my way in a blank page in my journal, i can’t help but feel like i’m in a jeepney ride going to tungko, or as if i’m walking along by the arch coming home after a long hours from uni. this never fail me to make me feel like coming home. sniffing through the pages, it still fascinates me whenever i think about the fact that this was once, on the other part of manila. this was once on the other people’s hands. and it remained untouched. unwritten. as if it wasn’t loved the way it should be. but at the same time, i feel honored. because it feels like for once—i came across to something bare and blank. begging pages for me lend and write on. for once.

as i let myself untangle my thoughts into words, being guided with a little light. oh dear Lord, i wasn’t even trying to be “MICAH THE POET” as ivan said earlier tonight. i just....let myself, breathe. as the pages drowned with nothing but, words bleed that through me. 

it is one of those nights, when i couldn’t sleep and all i could think about is making love out of myself, through writing.

inaantok na ‘ko,

micah.

[someoneonceknewsomebody-blog]

- the perks of getting old

This is the moment I realized that my parents are getting older. Mama has a problem with hearing and Papa will always say the same thing over and over again. This makes me sad. 

This is the one thing I’m most scared of ever since I was a kid, for my parents to be old and grey. I’ve always wished to freeze this moment right here. I even prayed hard to God to pause those moments when we were kids but time simply can’t stop flowing.

I cried last night. I was remembering when was the last time I kissed them? When was the last time I hugged them? But then I also thought .. When was the last time they hugged me? Didn’t they know that I still need it? 

[pistiselpisagape]

Ikadalawaputdalawa

EXT. ROOFTOP. SUNSET

Tutal nabigyan naman ako ng panahon para makapag muni-muni, pagkakataong alalahanin ang mga bagay-bagay at nangyayari sa paligid (mula sa maliit yung tipong hindi naman big deal hanggang sa mga malalaking bagay na nagbibigay dahilan para hindi makatulog sa gabi), nagkaroon din ng chance na makapag-backread ng old notes sa phone, letters, convos sa chat, balikan ang memories sa google photos, facebook at gallery at iba pang makapagpapalala kung bakit at para kanino tayo gumigising sa araw-araw. Since 22nd birthday ko naman (hanggang proud pa ‘kong i-announce ‘yan) at higit sa lahat “YOLO, girl!”, naisip ko lang naman na i-type yung thoughts ko na binabasa mo ngayon.

“Ang buhay ay walang katapusang pagkatuto. Self discovery. ”

Araw-araw chance para matuto at ma-discover yung mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa sarili at paligid mo. Day by day, little by little...

Minsan sa paraang hindi direkta, gagawa at gagawa ng paraan ang universe para ipa-realize sayo yung mga dapat mong matutunan at maranasan. Madalas sa pamamagitan ng iba’t ibang circumstances, mas maiintindihan kung bakit kinailangang mangyari ang mga nangyari. Doon mo mas makikilala ang sarili mo at mundong ginagalawan mo.

Kumbaga sa pelikula may mga plot twist at challenges na magpapaganda sa istorya ng pelikula kung saan ikaw ang bida at kontrabida.

Kaya malaking tulong ang mga tao sa paligid. Kung gaano mo kayang i-tolerate ang sarili mo, tao sa paligid, nangyayari sa lipunan at kung paano i-maintain ang inner peace at hanggang kailan mo kayang magtiis. As we go age, we learn more and we grow.

“Ang bawat taong makikilala mo, may role at may aral na ituturo sayo. Pay attention.”

Lahat ng taong makikilala, makakausap at makikita mo ay may hatid na aral. Yung tipong nakasalubong mo lang o nakasama mo (mabilis o matagal), mababaw man o malalim ang naging usapan, bawat isa sa kanila may maaari kang matutunan. Pwedeng hahangaan mo yung brain cells, yung kanilang philosophy, yung kanilang dedication, wit at talent, kung paano sila magsalita, yung sipag, yung passion, yung kabaitan at kung ano-ano pa (either good or bad). Reasons para i-admire mo sila, gawing inspiration sa mga ginagawa at gagawin mo pa at magpapasalamat ka dahil nakilala mo sila. People come and people go, take those lessons with you.

"YOLO"

Kung isa kang millennial for sure alam mo ang ibig sabihin nito, You only live once. And I quote sa isang libro ni Paulo Coelho, “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” “How will I know which is which?” “By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.” So, push lang. Piliin mong maging masaya at gawin yung mga bagay na gusto mo. Kahit masaktan ka atleast tinry mo at ginawa mo yung best mo. Be brave. Take risk.

"Be healthy, stay safe."

Alagaan mo sarili mo. Dahil kapag okay ka, mas makakatulong ka sa mga tao sa paligid mo lalo na sa panahon ngayon. Take vits. Drink water. Eat healthy. Be happy and love fully.

"Understand, forgive, be thankful and have faith always."

To be continued...

[thenextpage2020]

Happy Saturday from PH ✨

Hope you are all doing well today! Here’s my review for the book: Toy Box Leadership

[shizuskai25]

It's funny how i try and fail to cram everything i wanted to do with the limited free time i had before covid19 and now that i have more free time, i still can't do them. Actually it's not funny. It's depressing.

[loveleianj]

"You don't have to convince others about who you are." 💓

I love this line from Itaewon Class. 🌈💖

[masokistangadventurer]

nakakakaba yung possibility sa new normal na mag online class na lang. tho temporary lang siya, hindi conducive for learning itong bahay namin plus wala kami laptop and stable internet connection. napaka anti poor nung bagong proposed bill bakit ganito

[saltiestsoprano]

Quaranthoughts: I don’t ship Harley with Joker or Ivy. I like stories that are told with both romance options because it makes interesting stories, but both characters are abusive towards Harley. If Harley were a real person, and my friend, I would want her to dump both Joker and Ivy and get some therapy before finding a partner that doesn’t abuse her.

I also realize that Ivy has been written less abusive towards Harley in recent years but that doesn’t change they had some hugely toxic interactions for a very long time. I am also certain than Ivy’s abusive qualities were because of the habit of queer coding and queer baiting and it wasn’t until recently we started exploring gay characters in a positive way.

So I will gladly partake in Joker/Harley media and Ivy/Harley media but don’t mistake enjoyment of a story for shipping and support of a relationship.

[moodbug]

anyways who else has been sat in front of schoolwork for 5hrs at this point without being able to do a single thing