#qpp: you wake up married

[squireofgeekdom]

haven't done a writing update in a minute, outside of doing wip memes, so --

meet in the middle, chapter 26, the very last chapter -- I think I last counted this at 35 scenes, now I'm counting it at 33, with three of those scenes not having been placed in the outline, i'm pretty sure i've shuffled and consolidated some things, also i may just be off in my counting, who the fuck even knows what i'm doing. Anyway, 7 of those are almost entirely complete, 13 are partially done with 4 of those being more than half done, and 13 are not started.

damn. usually breaking it down like that helps me realize i'm further along than i thought but uhhhhh this really just reminds me how much further i've got. and it's been over a year. trust me, no one is more frustrated at how long this is taking or wants this fic to be done more than i do. cheerleading is. welcome if you want to. That said, all told, writing and outlining and notes and all, the draft is already 8k/30 pages, so it's not nothin, and I do really love some of the scenes I'm finally getting to writing/finishing, and I feel like I've got a bit of momentum. Just gotta keep coming back. 2024 guys, 2024. (knock on wood)

Other things I'm working on - you think a year and change is a while, the Believe AU series hasn't been updated in two+ years cause whoops, that did in fact grow a plot and an ending and it took a hot minute to figure that out. There are four fics left, and the very last one is with my first reader! (thanks M!)

Things that I've started more recently include two Lucius & Fayeth fics, for High Rollers Aerois, inspired by my relisten through (which I've almost finished up!) The first is actually Fayeth & Aridan centric, tentatively titled 'for I cannot turn yet', structured around three scenes, one of which is done, one of which is partially done, and one of which is still notes

The second Lucius & Fayeth fic is tentatively titled 'many rings', which has four scenes mostly/partially written, and then a big ending montage and set piece I still need to break down

As for more things I've been working on for a long ass time - I started 'we both are' shortly after watching the kenobi series, so well over a year now - it's a reva & obi-wan centric fic, to absolutely no one's surprise. I've been making some progress on it recently, it's got 3 scenes pretty much complete, 8 scenes partially finished with 4 of those more than halfway done, and 5 scenes not started.

Plus, a bonus - if you've heard me mention Somnolence or #somnolence fic fuel, that's my post-canon Insomniac Spider-Man 2 fic concept, that's currently just 3k/9pages of notes and bits of writing, but hey, it has a title and a summary - it, in fact, weirdly had a title and a summary before i managed to put a single word of it on page. if you like the weird mindscape/dreamscape kind of stuff i've done in a fair few of my fics, it's going to have lots of that, and if you looked at the spider man 2 symbiote/symbiote hive mind stuff and thought 'this could be weirder and hornier', it should be up your alley XD

anyway, writing! it's a thing i do sometimes.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, big fan of your ace and aro art!

Genuine question here: How do you maintain a long distance relationship with your QPP (queerplatonic partner)?

Hey! Thank you so much for the kind words, that means a lot TwT

Regarding your question, apologies for the long shit incoming in advance, I'll probably share way more than what's needed, but anyway:

OK, to be honest, I should mention that I'm used to long-distance in most of the relationships in my life anyway, so that's kinda my bread and butter. I was bullied in my small town schools and later I went on to study foreign languages, so all of that created circumstances that made it natural for me to create real friendships mostly with people online or in foreign countries. I've always been more of a "next country rather than nextdoor" type of person to begin with, and my partner was no exception I guess.

We got to know each other online, so we were sort of used to the bulk of our relationship being online when we decided to be in a QPR. It was my partner's suggestion before we even got to meet IRL, and to be honest I'd never had a romantic or queerplatonic partner before and didn't fully grasp what it meant at the time, but it sounded nice, so I went for it! We met up IRL in 2018, a couple months after that (I was meeting up IRL for the first time with another friend who also happened to live in the area, in retrospect I really appreciate everyone's patience as I imposed a double visit and splitting my time in two between them TwT) and at that time it only cemented how much of a vibe it was.

After that, I was saving to visit them again in 2020, but... Y'know, the shit happened. The US (where my partner lives) enforced a travel ban on my country and several others that lasted until November 2021. It was incredibly hard during those times. We called very often, but since I'd been all riled up on the idea of hugging them again, and I was very affection-deprived because no one was allowed to see anyone or touch anyone (and that was pretty heavily monitored by cops for quite a while in my country), it wasn't enough for me to feel OK. The only way one could travel from a banned coutry to the US was to stay 14 days in a non-banned country and then travel from there – which I ended up doing in mid-2021 because I was basically going nuts. It was pretty damn expensive, but since nothing had been allowed for a while it's not like I'd spent my money on much, so I had savings, and I needed to prove myself that I could do it. We reunited IRL then for a good week. Then, because they'd fairly recently got a job (which meant more income for travel) and because US citizens WERE allowed to travel to banned countries, THEY visited me in September 2021 (and we formally promised to marry each other someday then, so even travel bans couldn't separate us in the future).

Despite all that, come late October 2021 and with no end in sight for the travel ban, I'd completely spiralled into despair over our future again. The travel ban and other restrictions made seeing each other so much harder and it was seriously taking a toll. Despite everything we'd managed that year, at that time, it felt so hard I was having serious self-endangering thoughts for the first time in my life, and I wanted to give up. That lasted about a couple days until I talked about it to them over videocall and heard their words of support and saw their face and got all angry like "fuck no, they can't take that away from me". So, because they're who they are, and because of extra support from some friends which meant a lot, despite everything, we didn't give up.

Now I'm free to travel to them again so honestly? Maintaining a long-distance relationship feels really easy right now. We text every day, videocall at least once a week and send each other care packages with gifts for our birthdays, holidays and special occasions. (Our time zone difference is 9 hours, which is convenient, cus when I wake up they're more or less about to go to bed so we can chat for a bit, when my workday is over theirs hasn't started yet, and when they're having lunch I'm having dinner, so we often share meals and watch stuff together over video calls.) We're both working adults with a stable source of income, which definitely plays into a lot, cus that means we're much more free to save up and make plans to visit each other – and by god ever since 2021 we've been making much more frequent plans, as of today we have 3 meetups more or less planned, one of them coming up this month actually, so that's pretty great^^

I do live in fear of another travel ban coming out of nowhere, so I do hope we can marry someday – though that'll be its own whole can of worms in terms of coming-out and immigration hardships, but we're determined to work through it. We're determined not to be long-distance forever. Kinda sucks that we have to go through something as amatonormative as marriage to achieve that, but also, ehh, y'know what, if that means someday I get to hang out with them in person everyday, it ain't that bad. It's a means to an end. And I guess it's a cute idea in a way.

...Welp that was way too long. tl;dr it's not easy every day. Some circumstances out of your control can really put you through the ringer sometimes. But on the flip side that means you get out of it stronger and the whole thing's kind of a virtuous circle. The more you fight for it, the more precious it is to you, and the more precious it gets to you, the more you want to fight for it. Kinda comes naturally to me at this point, so, I guess, don't make it a chore. It never felt like one to me. It's all a treasure if anything.

[solitaireships]

Untitled Investigative Minds Ficlet

Alright, final fic for the night, thank you all for dealing with the influx of pieces from me lol. Yes this is another very personal one bcs this is basically me living the fantasy of my f/os comforting me when I'm getting really bad period cramps bcs the ones that wake you up in the middle of the night truly are an evil creation

Also, the debut of me shipping with Strahm! This takes place in an AU separate from the usual Missing Piece canon, with this being a modern AU. I don’t have the full specifics of the AU, but Mark and Shepard are married in it and Strahm is Mark’s bf and Shepard’s qpp

Rating: Teen

Genre: Fluff

Words: 768 words

Divider by saradika

Content warning: periods + period cramps

The first night of Shepard’s period is always the worst. It’s not unusual for her to wake up in the middle of the night feeling like her insides are tearing themselves apart— something that happened tonight at 3 in the morning. The time she spent in the bathroom barely helped with the pain and nausea, and the Advil she took hasn’t kicked into effect as she made her way back into bed. 

Getting back into bed is harder than it used to be. Shepard shared a bed with just Mark for years, but now that she shares a bed with both her husband and his boyfriend, she has two people to navigate around to get to her spot in the middle of the bed. Mark is snoring, and she’s pretty sure that Peter’s asleep, but it’s hard to tell for sure. She knows Mark’s a deep sleeper, so she climbs over him, slotting in between him and Peter and hoping she didn’t bother either of them. 

She cuddles up to Mark’s side, hoping the painkiller she took will take effect so she doesn’t keep feeling like she’s about to throw up. Maybe then it’ll be easier for her to go back to sleep. 

Shepard lays in silence for a moment, trying not to get too caught up in her discomfort. She can’t help but let out a soft, pained noise that she tries to muffle against Mark’s shoulder. She must not have completely silenced the noise, though, because she feels a hand brush against her side and Peter shifts closer to her. 

“Are you alright?” he grumbles, his voice rough with sleep. 

“I’m fine. Sorry if I woke you up,” she says. 

“You were in the bathroom for a while,” he comments. “What’s wrong?”

Shepard feels a pang of guilt in her chest at that. She must have woken up him when she got out of bed originally. That had to have been thirty minutes or so ago now. She hopes he got at least a little sleep before she just woke him up again. 

And she hopes that explaining what’s wrong won’t be too awkward. She hates having to talk about this with people.

“Sorry. I… I’m on my period,” she says. 

“Cramps, then?” Peter asks. 

“And nausea.”

“I don’t think mine ever got to the point of waking me up in the middle of the night. At least not often.”

“You’re a lucky man,” Shepard says, as dry as she can. 

“Even luckier now that I don’t have them anymore,” Peter says.

“God, yeah.”

Peter cuddles closer to Shepard. She can feel his breath on the back of her neck with how her hair’s pulled back into a bun, and the warmth of it is pleasant. 

Just being with Peter is pleasant, though. Shepard hadn’t expected getting close to him like this. When Mark started flirting with him, she had figured what they had would stay between just the two of them, with Peter being able to fulfill Mark’s needs in ways that Shepard couldn’t. But things evolved between the two of them, going from coworkers-with-benefits to boyfriends, and as Peter got more involved in Mark's life, he also got more involved in Shepard’s. And, like she did with Mark, she ended up liking him a lot more than she expected. 

Shepard doesn’t love Peter in the same way, though. What she has with Mark is romantic. Her and Peter’s relationship is better described as queerplatonic. It’s still new, but it’s exciting. At least when she’s not regretting her entire life because of cramps. 

Relief floods over her though as Peter wraps his arms around her, sliding his hands under her shirt. They’re warm, and he rubs gentle circles into her stomach. The combined pressure of Peter against her back and Mark to her front is soothing too, allowing her tense muscles to relax. 

Shepard sighs. “Strahm.”

“Is that good for you?” he asks. 

“Great,” she says. 

“Then close your eyes and go to sleep. I’m not going to do this forever,” Peter says. His tone is snippy, but she knows he’s just putting on an act. 

Peter likes to go through life with a prickly outer shell, keeping anyone from getting too close. But Shepard knows him well enough to know he would keep doing this as long as he had to, even if he would complain about it. He’s nicer than even he likes to admit. 

“Thank you,” she says. “And good night.”

“Good night, Shepard,” Peter replies. He plants a quick kiss on the back of her neck. “Now go back to sleep.”

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

“Oh, my mom is calling.” T looked at his phone. “I guess she doesn’t think I sleep.”

“That’s because you don’t.” Taeyoung reminded him.

“Hi, Mami. Do you know what time it is over here?” T said as he answered the phone.

“Oh right. I forgot about the time zones.” Catalina facepalmed. “I’m sorry, mijo. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Well, you know how I don’t sleep. At least that’s what Taeyoung says.” Aaron nudged him. “You had a date tonight, right?”

“Yeah, I did. In fact, Megan’s here right now.” Catalina said with a big smile. “She actually asked me to call you cuz she wanted to talk.”

“Really?” Aaron grinned. “Cool, put her on.”

“Aaron, I’m gonna go put on some toner and then get rid of you.” Taeyoung said before wandering into the bathroom.

Aaron waved absentmindedly in response. “Hey, Megan. How’s it going?”

“Aaron, I need to talk to you. And forgive me for whispering, your mom has really good ears.” Megan whispered into the phone. “I wanted to ask for your permission to marry your mother.”

Aaron paused. “You what?”

“I know it’s old fashioned, but it would be a huge change for both of you. And…I really wanna marry her.” Megan admitted quietly.

“Ohmigosh, yes! I’ve been waiting for this.” Aaron’s eyes got wide. “When are you gonna do it? Tonight? Right now?”

“I don’t have a ring yet, silly.” Megan chuckled. “I wanna buy her the prettiest ring I can afford, so I’m gonna have to save up. But I wanted to give you a heads up beforehand.”

“Awww, you’re so sweet.” He sighed. “You’re gonna make the coolest step-mom. EEP!”

“Kay, I’m ready to kick you out.” Taeyoung came back into the room. “It’s late and you need a head start on falling asleep.”

“Is that the little man?” Megan asked. “I wanna talk to him, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s here.” Aaron waved Taeyoung over. “It’s Megan. She wants to speak with you.”

“The hell…?” Taeyoung furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“JUST TALK TO HER!” Aaron whisper-yelled, shoving the phone to Taeyoung’s ear.

“Oh, uh, hi Megan. Aaron said you wanted to talk to me?” Taeyoung said awkwardly.

“Little man! Awesome to hear your voice.” Megan greeted him. “I was calling to ask you both for your permission to propose to Catalina. I know you’re pretty close and I wanted to include you.”

Taeyoung was quiet as he noticed the strange feeling in his chest. “Thanks for including me, Megan. I appreciate that.” He cleared his throat. “A-Anyway, you guys make a really cute couple, so you have my blessing.”

“Yes!” Megan cheered. “Oh, you guys are the best.”

“Well, if that’s all—”

“Wait, don’t hang up.” Megan ran around the apartment in search of Catalina. “I’m gonna pass the phone back to Catalina. I’m sure she wants to talk to you.”

“Right, right…” Taeyoung sat on his bed beside Aaron. “My best friend’s mom and my best friend’s mom’s girlfriend wanna talk to me.” He sighed and rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder.

Aaron looked at him. “You okay, Tae-Tae? Something you wanna talk about?”

“What? No, of course not.” Taeyoung jumped back up. “In fact, I can’t talk to you right now. Your mom’s on the phone.” He walked away awkwardly. “Hey, Catalina…”

———

I’m back! Thank you all so much for your patience🫶🏾 A month ago today, I lost someone very important to me, but after taking time just to focus on celebrating her life and visiting my qpp to unwind, I am finally ready to resume the story. Hope you’re all as excited as I am😁

[officialgleamstar]

okay i get really awkward and anxious when publicly talking about my aus and stuff because of mental health reasons, but if i dont word vomit ill die actually so hey. Hey. you want stud to be alive and happy, yes? come here. oakvale wedding au (<- placeholder name but every placeholder name i make always ends up sticking its a curse)

spoilers for at the mountains of dadness, the oakvale arc for season 1, and also probably church of the doodler stuff in season 2, so ill tuck this under a cut lol

so obviously, hildy survived the end of AMOD because of stud banishing the doodler, but then him and hildy got sent to the forgotten realms due to the same spell. from there, based on episode 40 from season 1, it seems that stud never made it to oakvale while hildy did (his zombie was still wearing his cap and clothes etc etc).

but. BUT. what if... he was also brought to oakvale, like hildy was, and saved? and thats the entire premise of the au but it spirals out in my head because nothing is ever simple for me

first off. the ship no one has ever mentioned. stud and hildy should just be married, okay. i do fully think stud is gay, but like, platonically married. i think they were qpps before there was a word for that. i know this is so random but I JUST... hildy offering to read the script to stud so he could learn too. hildy learning one spell, just one, and choosing to learn one that would heal stud's eyes... and then stud using his one spell to save the world, yes, but also Very Directly save hildy... stud was the first one in the group who knew that hildy was hildy, and hes also the last one to know her as hildy. THEY ARE IN (platonic) LOVE TO ME. over just a few days, they bonded so much (all of the amod crew did) and it makes me wanna shake em in a cocktail shaker. i want them to have more time together :(

plus, im just a huge fan of sunshine/sunshine ships, and i think stud and hildy fit that bill. which ships us along to my next point-! i think stud would fucking LOVE the forgotten realms and he deserves to explore it. hes such an optimistic and cheery guy, he has the stars in his eyes, and he deserves to have a fun fantasy adventure!!! plus, i think hildy and stud having each other in this fantastical new world would be very soothing for one another. theyre both very similar in that theyre excitable and upbeat, and i think their differences (stud is better at putting up for himself and those around him, hildy is deeply curious and more aggressively ambitious, stud is more respectful while hildy is gungho) just help to bolster one another and make each other even better. they would fucking kill it as an adventuring duo

also hildy is 4'11 while stud is described as "extremely large" so um. yeah. i want them to be partners ☝️

okay sorry im finally done talking about stud and hildy and why they should be together ANYWAYS. THE ACTUAL AU. obviously, this is an au where hildy and stud both settle into oakvale (or, well, pre-oakvale since barry founded it) after the ending of amod! i dont think its ever fully explained how hildy survived the transportation to the forgotten realms? she was just saved by an elven man. well okay, stud was saved too then, and when hildy wakes up, the first thing she sees is one of her new friends in the medical cot next to her, asleep, and an elven man watching over them. from there, she learns that theyre in another dimension, probably has to do a sanity roll, etc etc but shes absolutely fascinated by this new world

and once he wakes up, stud is, too! the elven man who saved them - hildys future husband, of course - lets them stay with him, listens to their stories in awe, absolutely adores hildy's camera and hildy adores his knowledge in return. hildy and the man hit it off right away, visibly so, and stud just kinda... waits to be pushed off to the side, because its clear theyre going to be in love, and he knows hes not gonna get in the way of that. stud only gets the girl if its a stageplay, and he doesnt really want the girl anyways, even if hildy means a lot more to him than any other woman he's ever known. they adventure together, stud protecting her just as much as he keeps her out of trouble with locals, but they always come back to hildy's elf. eventually, stud is sure, its going to be only him leaving, and then he doesnt get to come back.

but hildy doesnt leave him behind. even as her relationship grows, still unlabeled but obvious, hildy spends just as much time with stud as she does her elven man. shes on him like white on rice, and she calls stud "her partner" more than she calls him her friend, challengingly, as if daring someone to separate them, and he likes it, but its confusing. because theyre not involved, and he doesnt like women like that, and he doesnt think she likes him like that. eventually, he brings it up, late one night while theyre out in the wilderness alone and trying to chart the new constellations overhead.

stud: hildy, you call me your partner a lot. i shoulda said something sooner, i know, im sorry, but i dont really like the ladies like that hildy: oh, i know, stud. i picked that up as soon as i watched you talk to meryl for five seconds, hah! stud: but you still call me your partner? hildy: aw, stud, i dont gotta be your dame to be your partner! we're something more than friends at this point, aren't we? ive never felt the way i feel for you before, and it might not be romance, but its special. don't you feel the same?

and he does, is the thing. he has for a long time now, and so he accepts it, and so theyre partners. even when hildy is officially together with her boyfriend, and then her husband, stud is there, too. hes part of their wedding (hence the placeholder name lol), hes part of their family, hes always there there there for hildy.

until barry grows up and starts oakvale, welcoming his parents and their partner to move into his commune. until barry 'needs help' with his experiments connecting with another world. until barry asks stud to go down into the hatch and stud obliges, because barry is his son too, and maybe barry feels a lot like a second chance at helping willy. stud obliges, because barry wouldnt put him in danger, and of course stud is the most helpful for this task, because stud came out of that research facility in the first place.

stud doesnt come out of that research facility, and hildy has gotten used to stud being the one to stick up for her by then, and so she isnt prepared to handle barrys manipulation on her own. but thats getting into canon. i can let anthony handle all that

listens to amod and immediately forms my own delusion au formed around a ship that i have never seen anyone else even mention as a possibility because i need to cope with gaining and then promptly losing four hot 1930s film workers

[math-is-magic]

Necessary Conversations

So, I wrote a thing, then realized today was the start of Asexuality Awareness Week, and thought it was too Apropos to not post here.

Fandom- Naruto (Dreaming of Sunshine)

Rating - G-T

Pairing - Sasuke/Shikako (OC), though anyone who hasn’t read Dreaming of Sunshine can probably get away with just imagining this as an Ace Sakura or something if they wanted.

Tags - Emotional Conversations, Asexuality, Asexual Characters, Sex Repulsion, QPPs, Happy Endings

Necessary Conversations 

It’s an otherwise normal Nara family dinner night when it hits Sasuke that he can’t put his feelings off any longer.

Shikako’s parents still welcome him to those, no matter how crowded the table is starting to get, with Kino and Temari and now little Shikadai. Sasuke is discreetly watching Shikamaru try and fail to get Shikadai to eat his mush, trying to decide if he should help or if he should just stay out of it, when the topic turns towards preparations for an upcoming Nara clan holiday.

Shikako excitedly joins in with the conversation, but she never gets so engrossed as to miss that Sasuke doesn’t speak up at all. She shoots him a questioning look, but he shakes his head. This isn’t the time or place for it.

The thing is, Sasuke is a member of the Nara’s family, but even so, he knows that this does not concern him. Like Temari, he’s not a true-born Nara — technically, he’s not even married in, no matter how close of a bond he shares with Shikako. At best, he’s unofficially adopted.

Regardless, the fact remains; this may be his family, but this is not his clan.

For the first time in a long time, Sasuke looks around the table at all of his loved ones, and feels alone.

The Uchiha clan has a holiday coming up too, he realizes. How long has it been, since he had been able to properly celebrate that? And what will happen, when he’s gone? There would be no one left to honor his ancestors, to continue their rituals, to maintain their traditions.

His teammates would come with him, he’s sure, if he asked them to celebrate with him. They would learn his clan’s traditions and perform them them with him.

But, there it was again. With him. For him.

But would they - could they - continue them after he passed? What would happen to his clan’s legacy then?

Shikako notices his pensiveness during dinner, but after that initial look, she decides to wait patiently until they get home to ask about it. She sees the way Sasuke shuts down when the discussion turns to clan matters, and there is an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that she knew what this was about.

So, she doesn’t say anything as they walk home, hand-in-hand. She gives him a look, worried and knowing, once the door closes behind them, but doesn’t press when he shakes his head again.

This is… delicate, something he’s been putting off for too long now, and Sasuke wants to make sure he does this right. Knowing Shikako, he probably won’t get another shot. By the end of this, he’s going to have to make a choice between two things he’s not sure he can live without.

He’s a coward, he knows, waiting until they get into bed, waiting until she’s as vulnerable as she ever gets, physically. But, saying this will make him vulnerable, and he will take any advantage he can. He is a shinobi after all.

And, if this means he can hold her in his arms like this one last time… well, shinobi are selfish too. Especially Uchiha shinobi.

Shikako gently rests her head on his chest, pulling him even closer than normal. I know what you’re doing, she’s saying, and I’ll allow it.

I love you, he wants to say back, but can’t. Sasuke can feel the bitterness in the smile this unspoken thought brings him.

Everyone else calls what they do dating, no matter how many times they’ve told everyone that they weren’t.

To be honest, Sasuke wishes this is what dating was. He loves falling asleep next to Kako every night. He loves making her breakfast, and getting dinner in return. He loves spending the bulk of his days with his best friend and closest confidant. If this was dating, that would mean this could be marriage too, and he could keep her forever, just like this.

But he’s pretty sure, when people say that they’re dating, that they would expect “more” from their relationship. Things neither he nor Kako seem particularly interested in.

Sasuke loves Shikako with all his heart, but he isn’t in love with her. He wants her, not all the things that would come with dating her.

Except one.

“I miss my clan,” Sasuke says in a hoarse whisper. And, dang it, that’s not how he wanted to start this. He had been practicing his speech in his head, and it’s already ruined.

It wouldn’t have mattered, to Shikako, even if he had started off on what he felt was a better foot. She’s been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now that the inevitable is here she would prefer to keep this as direct as possible.

“I know,” she finally says, trying to prompt when he doesn’t continue.

Sasuke looks down at her in surprise. She sighs and leans back, putting as much space between herself and him as his grip will allow.

He already misses that comfortable contact.

“I’m not surprised, Sasuke. I’ve always known how much you love children, and that you want to bring back your clan. This...” she waved her hand, encompassing the space between them, “whatever it is we have isn’t something the others understand. They only understand ‘romance,’ and ‘marriage’ and — and ‘heirs.’” She turns her head, staring up at the ceiling so she can only see his reactions from the barest corner of her eye.  “It’s… it’s okay. I’ll move out, and we’ll make it clear that we’re not a thing like that. Publicly. This doesn’t have to change anything else between us. I’ll always care about you so, so much.”

The resignation in her voice pains him to the core.

Shikako doesn’t give up. It’s one of the things he loves and hates most about her. Pain, death, the end of the goddamn world? Shikako has stared them all down, pushing forward until there was nothing else she could do, no matter what it cost her.

The only time she didn’t, the only time she ever gave up, was when—

She had no hope.

Was the possibility of a future with him truly so daunting? More so than the apocalypse?

But that made no sense. If Shikako knew this was pointless because of her own feelings, she wouldn’t be resigned, she would be firm. Decisive. That means she believes the problem is with him.

Couldn’t she see that he was trying? That he wanted to find a solution? Why was she giving up on him? On them?

“So that’s it then?” he mutters. “You’re giving up, just like that? Konoha’s most brilliant mind can’t see even a hint of another possibility?”

“Do we have another choice?” she shoots back. Isn’t that why he having this conversation with her? Instead of just going out and dealing with it? Why do this to them, if she wasn’t in the way? Doesn’t he know she would have suggested a solution if she had one? “You want a family. And you can’t find someone to start a family with if everyone already thinks you’re starting a family with me.”

“But that’s the whole point!” Why didn’t she understand this? “I do want to start a family with you.”

She stiffens in his arms. He holds her a little tighter, afraid she’s going to run. Afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop her if she did.

But he’s said it, now, and he can’t let her leave until he finishes. After that… he’ll deal with it when they get to it.

But Shikako beats him to it.

“You know I don’t — I don’t want that. I-I don’t want to do that with you. With anyone. I can’t be your wife like that, Sasuke. I can’t give you children.”

Shikako waits, bitterly, for him to understand. To realize that she can’t do it, and give up on her. Or, perhaps, for him to accuse her of being difficult. To try to change her, like Shika and the Nara, and everyone outside of Team Seven always has.

���I know that,” Sasuke reassures her. “Of course I know that.”

Shikako has practically wilted in his arms, and Sasuke doesn’t know what to say to make it better. He doesn’t ever want Shikako to regret the love she’s given him so freely. She should never sound like she’s failing him for something she’s always been clear she couldn’t do.

He needs to be clear on that point. He knows, and this is not her fault, but he needs to vocalize his dilemma, at least once. Needs to know that every possibility has been explored before he has to start deciding which pieces of his heart to cut.

He shifts, closing the space she had put between them and regaining that contact he so craved. She doesn’t pull away again.

“I love what we have, Kako. I don’t want it to change, and I know you don’t either. But, it’s not all that I want.”

She’s still, for a moment. Then, so softly he almost misses it, he feels her give a slight nod of acknowledgement.

“Then what is it you want, Sasuke? Exactly.” Is there really a compromise to be made here? she can’t quite bring herself to ask. Or do you still not understand what I’m saying?

Sasuke takes a deep breath and then he bares his heart to the only person in years who has ever held enough of it to break it.

“It’s just. In my dreams, we’re exactly as we are now. Except, in the mornings, when we wake up, instead of just making breakfast for two, we have a full table. There’s a little boy with Nara earrings practicing his Grand Fireball in the yard. Or a little girl, with Sharingan eyes, and an explosive touch, and her mother’s kind smile. Sometimes both, and maybe a whole brood beyond that, causing trouble enough to drive Sensei to drink, even though no one can prove it was them, because they’re too much like us to get caught. But, always at least one.

“And sometimes, I want them so bad it hurts. Because I want you, and I want them, and you have never wanted them. And I don’t know how to have you all.”

Sasuke sounds heartbroken, and Shikako wants to swoop in and fix it, like she usually does. But.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, her ribs shuddering against his. “But I can’t. I can’t.”

“I know,” he whispers back, pressing a soft kiss into her hair. “You’ve never like children. Not the really young ones. And it’s not fair of me to ask that of you. I just. I needed to make sure. To have you say it to me directly that you’re not interested in raising children—”

“No. You’re wrong.”

“...I’m wrong?”

Shikako sighs. She sits up, and he sits up with her, holding her in a hug beneath his chin. She stares at her hands as they twist nervously in the sheets. He waits, quietly, for her to continue, desperately trying to squash the flutter of hope that had risen in his chest at her denial.

“It’s not... that I don’t want children for their own sake. I’ve seen, with Kino, and Shikadai, that I can learn to connect with them. That they’re not so awful, and that I even rather like them once they start to speak. And now that everything’s over, that it feels safe to actually plan for the future…. Maybe. If you told me more about them, the ones that are so real to you, from your dreams. If you made them real to me too. I could see us raising a kid like that.”

As teammates, she can’t say, because that is the part that always trips her up. That that would be the ideal way for her to spend her life. As partners with him, in the most basic sense of the word.

But teammates don’t raise children together. They jointly train students, at best. No, it’s spouses who raise children together. Who give each other everything she’s given Sasuke, and then some.

But she can’t give him more, and she knows, no matter how much he says he wants her now, that he’ll realize one day that he wants more, and that she’s never going to change her mind and give it to him and he might grow to resent it. She can’t let him settle like that.

“I don’t…” She pauses, reconsidering her words. “I think I could help you raise a child. It’s just that I can’t have your child. I can’t do that. Not even with you.” She has to stop, to take a breath. She knows her voice is going to shake if she says more, is going to give her away, but it’s important to say. The most important, maybe. “Not even for you.”

Sasuke feels a slight dampness where her face is buried in his shirt. She’s tearing up, his brave, strong teammate who doesn’t cry even when faced with the end of the world. Her cheeks are flushed, and she won’t meet his eye. She’s embarrassed, he realizes.

Pieces click into place in his mind, and Sasuke finally understands exactly what her biggest problem with starting a family with him is. And it’s so much smaller of a thing than he expected; it seems so ridiculous that they’ve hurt themselves this much over it.

He can’t help himself; he huffs out a small laugh.

“Oh, is that all?”

“Don’t you dare make fun of me, Sasuke!” She pushes back against his chest, meeting Sasuke’s eyes for the first time since he had confessed. “Everyone knows it’s not some small thing. If we were married, there are certain expectations to be met. And everyone wants that! And they’re unhappy when they don’t get it! But not — I don’t, okay? I know that it’s weird, and not normal, but I never have. And that’s not going to change no matter how much I care about you!”

And yes, those are definitely tears, and they’re all, each and everyone his fault. She has been clear. But obviously, he hasn’t been.

Sasuke reaches out with one hand to cup her face, wiping away her tears with his thumb.

“Is that what the problem is? Not just children, but that you thought I was waiting on you to give me more?”

She nods, leaning her face further into his palm.

After the war, Sasuke had been Shikako’s rock. She had long made a habit out of breaking into his room at night and snuggling in close to him when she couldn’t sleep. But after the war, it became a nightly ritual, and slowly, more of her things had migrated to the Uchiha compound than had remained at home. And then, as their peers began to pair off and marry, it had started to feel like Sasuke was her only confidant. She had clung to him even tighter. She knew what it looked like, from the outside. What everyone assumed about them.

“I’ve always liked what we’ve had. But after the war, Ino said you looked at me like Sai looks at her, and that I better tell her when we made it official. And I could brush that off, once. But then Sakura said she was jealous. And mom and dad started making comments. And Shikamaru started glaring at you again. And everyone just. Seemed so sure. Even when I told them otherwise.”

But even as people talked about them more, Sasuke had never pushed her further. He had been so patient with her, and slowly she stopped feeling like she was leading him on, like she was keeping something from him, every time someone made that assumption again. She had started to think that maybe he didn’t want that from her either. That he could be happy with just this. She let herself get selfish, hoping that Sasuke’s dreams to revive his clan would somehow work themselves out without her having to give her place up.

“And now you’re finally admitting it, and when I tell you I can’t, you don’t believe me either! You think it’s funny, that I’m overreacting—”

Shikako’s voice is getting higher, her words are coming too fast. Sasuke shushes her, cutting through the rising panic.

“Shhh, Shikako. I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you. It was just. A bitter laugh. At myself. For causing us so much trouble. When I said I want what we have now, I meant it. I don’t want more, except maybe some of the legal paperwork and rings...”

“Everyone always wants more—”

“I don’t. Really.”

Shikako wants to believe that. Wants to believe that he truly doesn’t want — need, the others sometimes said — more. But she know’s it’s not possible, because—

“You want a family. Kids. You want them so much it hurts.”

And there they were again. The sticking point. An impasse. Shikako wanted a partner. Sasuke would expect a wife.

“Yeah, and if I knew how to skip all the messy steps in between loving you, and raising a child, I would. Because I want to keep you - keep this - too.”

Sasuke relaxes slightly, and he feels Shikako uncurl a little in his arms.

“...You would?”

“I would.” He runs his other hand through her loose hair from root to tip, soft and soothing the way she likes best. “Kako, all I’ve ever wanted from you is for you to hold my heart — and,” he adds, to help ease the stress of being so emotionally vulnerable, “maybe, occasionally, my spare kunai.”

She smiles, snorting. “Lazy,” she murmurs, leaning back into his chest and holding him close.

“And maybe it doesn’t fix the problem,” he continues, “but it feels like it gives us a chance. Somehow, simple biology seems so much less daunting an obstacle than your feelings were.”

“It is,” Shikako says.

Sasuke freezes.

“...What?”

“It is,” She repeats. “Less of an obstacle. Than changing my mind.”

Sasuke blinks at her. She just shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure all of the science has been figured out on that front, actually. It might take some tweaking to do it more ethically, but I could probably steal the basics, at least, from the snake’s old notes. Tsunade never took away my access, after all the work I did stopping his creations during the war. It shouldn’t be hard to jury rig his cloning advancements into reproductive technology. I’d just need psych and medical oversight, probably, to get the go ahead. I’m sure Sakura and Ino would oblige.  If… if you’re okay considering something like that.”

Shikako glances up at her unmoving partner, suddenly afraid she had horrified him by bringing Orochimaru into something most people want to be good and pure and precious.

“...Sasuke?”

Sasuke realizes his arms have gone slack around while he was lost in thought, and he quickly holds her close again.

“Sorry, sorry. I just. I got distracted. By the bit where you said it wasn’t a big deal to completely subvert human biology. Like it might actually be possible to get everything we want.”

Oh, Shikako thinks. Not horrified. Hopeful. She smiles.

Sasuke’s voice doesn’t quaver on that last sentence. It doesn’t. Because that stupid hope is fluttering more strongly than ever and—

“I’m very confident it’s possible,” she assures him. “It’s going to be, like, so much paperwork though.” Shikako makes a face at the thought.

“I’ll help you,” Sasuke promises immediately. “You focus on bending the laws of nature, and I’ll fill out all those scary forms for you about it, okay?”

“Deal,” she agrees quickly. She and Sasuke have always worked well as a team. Together they could do this too.

Shikako lays her head back on Sasuke’s chest, and he curls his fingers back into her hair, and they lay back down, just feeling each other breathe.

“Sasuke?” Shikako asks, quietly, when it becomes clear neither of their hearts will be settling down anytime soon, after the rush of those revelations. “Will you tell me more about them? The kids you see? Will you make them real for me?”

XxXxX

Omake: "If you get me a ring, it better do something cool, like hide a poisoned pin or something." "Of course, Dear. I'd never get you anything less." "You know, we're going to have to come up with a better story for Ino. She's going to pout that you didn't ask me right." "Well, we can re-stage this next week, after I find you your murderous ring. I'll make sure it's demonstrably romantic enough to keep her off your back." "You're the best. See, this is why I keep you around." "And I'm grateful to be here." --- Omake 2: "Kako, what are all of these seals on our daughter's back?" "Oh, I just inked a few protections I thought up. Alerts if she starts crying. Barrier seals if someone tries to touch her with negative intent. Anchoring seals so no one can take her where she's not supposed to go. Explosives, because every woman needs them. Stuff like that. You know. Normal parenting things."

[veganvenom]

Tagged by @spacestationtrustfund

Rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people

the last:

1. drink: Tea. Always tea, although I was sensible tonight and made it decaf because I’m about to go to bed.

2. phone call: To my landlord, trying to sort out my water being shut off. It’s fixed now.

3. text message: If we’re counting by messenging apps in general then the last person I texted was my qpp Ollie about their art. If by sms specifically, then my husband telling him how cute he is.

4. song: Ying Li by Voodoo Kungfu.

5. time you cried: About a week ago, because I was having a bad day and was worried I’d messed up my relationships by being me.

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: Yes. My asshole ex, who kept guilting me back. Don’t do it - if you broke up once already you are probably not going to work together.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Only asshole ex actually. Everyone else I’m happy I kissed.

8. been cheated on: Did I mention my ex was an asshole yet?

9. lost someone special: Yes.

10. been depressed: On this stretch it’s been about a year so far.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Many many times. Less often now I’m older - my body generally gets tired too quickly to get that drunk any more.

favorite colors:

12. Purple. Specifically a darkish, bluish kind of purple.

13. Green. Forest green I guess?

14. Black I suppose, which is most of my clothes.

15. Red, for its revolutionary significance.

16. Blue because I’m running out of colours that I don’t dislike.

in the last year have you:

17. laughed until you cried: Yes. I have very funny friends, and both my partners love a good (terrible!) pun.

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes. Generally it’s been good.

19. met someone who changed you: Lots of wonderful friends! And especially one person <3

20. found out who your friends are: Yeah definitely. Though I don’t blame those who haven’t kept in touch now that I’m less fun and don’t have the spoons to chat much/often.

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: 5 or so I think.

22. made friends: So many lovely friends, probably including you if you’re reading this!

23. fallen out of love: Not this year thankfully, but I have done the opposite :)

general:

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Well that’s not so happy! I woke up to multiple tumblr hate messages from fashy blogs (not because it was my birthday - they just happened to coincide). Cried quite a bit because I didn’t understand why I was so upset (yes this is ridiculously circular!). Then had a handful of friends over for about two hours in the evening for a couple of quiet beers, but I was too sad to be social.

26. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them, maybe apart from one or two who I’ve added because we share multiple common interests.

27. do you have any pets: No, but I’d like to be able to adopt animals when I have more space.

28. what time did you wake up: This morning, it was about 7:45 I think. Though I was still too physically tired to get up until about midday.

29. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping! My meds have been good for helping me do that early most nights.

30. name something you can’t wait for: Being healthy enough that I can go back to and be enthused by my research.

31: what are you listening to right now: Ocean Land by Orphaned Land

32: have you ever talked to a person named tom: That is a very common name here, so of course.

33: something that’s getting on your nerves: Liberals saying that punching n*zis makes you just as bad as them.

34. do you want to change your name: In practice I changed it about 3 years ago, but I do intend to do it legally in the next year or so. The bureaucracy would be too much effort right now.

35. hair color: Purple, but faded so that it has bluish and greyish streaks.

36. long or short hair: Short hair definitely. Once I’ve been on T for a while I might consider growing it long again, but not before. I love it short.

37. piercings: Three in my upper ear.

38. tattoos: Not yet. I have a wishlist but negative money and social anxiety.

39. blood type: The most useless one.

40. nicknames: Don’t think I’ve had any in a while.

41. relationship status: Married to my cute nerdy husband and in a queerplatonic relationship with my cute nerdy best friend.

42. zodiac: I can’t remember.

43. pronouns: They/them. I’m so lucky to have surrounded myself mostly with friends who at least try to use these.

44. most visited website: Tumblr! Which is better than last year when it was either Facebook or The Guardian which both made me angry on a regular basis.

45. right or left handed: Right-handed.

46. surgeries: Only a couple of minor ones, both on my face though they didn’t manage to make it look good lol

47. sports: Kickboxing, though I’m no good at it.

48. favorite tv show: Black Sails. For goodness’ sake, watch it if you haven’t!

49. vacations: The week in the Highlands I spent with my husband.

50. sneakers: I do have a pair of trainers yes. They are cheap and vegan.

more general:

52. eating: Luckily I’m ok with food atm. Don’t have many stipulations other than it should be vegan and affordable. Hot helps too.

53. fave drink: Tea, duh.

54. what you’re up to: Trying to rest.

55. waiting for: My brain to get well enough to work again.

56. want: Motivation, energy, an international anarcho-socialist post-scarcity world

57. get married: Eloped and got married in a forest by an officiant who didn’t misgender me. Loved it.

58. career: No longer in academia, that’s for sure.

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: I love hugs. I like kisses from my partners, but bises freak me the hell out I’m too working class British for that kind of thing!

61. lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. shorter or taller: I guess I would like to be a tiny bit taller, but I’m about average height for a human adult and that’s fine with me.

63. older or younger: I guess I was happier a year ago, but I wouldn’t give up the friends I have now, so I like this age.

64. nice arms or stomach: I don’t really know how to answer this. I guess equal?

65. hook up or relationship: Relationships.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, but I do so want to cause trouble.

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: I don’t think I have actually.

68. drank hard liquor: Too much.

69. lost glasses/contacts: I lose my glasses often, but have always found them.

70. turned someone down: Echoing Mochi with the having met straight men before...

71. sex on the first date: Yes, but I prefer sex and then deciding to date while in bed afterwards.

72. broken someone’s heart: Yes, but I’m not sorry.

73. had your heart broken: Yes, but it’s stronger now for it.

74. been arrested: Actually no, not yet! Cautions only. This just tells me I’m not doing enough tbh.

75. cried when someone died: Yes.

76. fallen for a friend: SO many times. And apart from the straight ones they’ve been good choices.

do you believe in:

77. yourself: Not generally. I do the best I’m capable of and if I fuck it up that’s about what I expected, and if I don’t then that’s great.

78. miracles: No.

79. love at first sight: No. That’s not what love is.

80. santa claus: No, and I don’t have memories from when I was young enough to have believed.

81. kiss on the first date: Yeah. Though none of my relationships have ever really followed the ask-on-date, go-on-date, go-on-second-date, etc. model.

82. angels: No.

other:

83. current best friend’s name(s): Ollie

84. eye color: Green.

85. favorite movie: The Legend of Fong Sai Yuk.

Tagging @eldritchsqurriel, @buildarocketboys, @amiedelabaisse, @wanttodrawmothsfrommemory, @synchronysymphony, @prettypettypansexual, @scouse-jesus-vikingson, @everyoneinspaceisgay, @thequeerkingdom, @acemummerz, @c3rn, @attercop-attercop, @do-a-saving-roll, @iamamathmagician, @willowveild, @jackaalope, @blooming-rivers, @luthienlight, @deprofundisresurgam, @jehnt. Feel free to ignore your tag - it was hard to get to 20.

[theuncannymary]

92 Truths About Me

rules: tell 92 truths about yourself and tag some more people. 

i’ve been tagged by @welcome-to-helliot (thanks eli !)

last :

last drink : water from lunch

last phone call : to my brother

last text message : to my brother

last song you listened to : “young volcanoes” by fall out boy

last time i cried : idk but probably while watching a cute pet video tbh XD

have you ever :

dated someone twice : nope

been cheated on : nope

kissed someone and regretted it : i kissed someone but i didn’t regret it XD

lost someone special : yeah...

been depressed : i am currently depressed lmao

been drunk and thrown up : nope

in the past year have you :

made a new friend : well it’s been more than a year now but shout-out to the a-spec chat for being super awesome pals everyday <3

fallen out of love : nope

laughed until you cried : yeah lol

met someone who changed you : i met my wonderful qpp sara @thefullmoonchronicle (ily <3)

founds who your true friends were : yeah (the a-spec chat !)

found out someone was talking about you : nope (but people probably talk behind my back anyways. meh, i don’t care anymore tbh)

general :

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life ? : none lol, they’re all my internet friends XD

do you have any pets ? : i don’t have any personally but mu family has a golden retriever lol

do you want to change your name ? : legally yes.

what time did you wake up this morning ? : around 7am

what were you doing last night ? : i fell asleep and then woke up and then tried to fall asleep and then fell asleep.

name something you cannot wait for : to live with sara <3

have you ever talked to a person named tom : i think there was a dude called tom who bullied me in 5th grade. not sure though.

what’s getting on your nerves rn ? : that i am supposed to work for uni but instead all i have is insomnia and it makes me tired because i only manage to sleep 3-4 hours every night and it’s gonna be even worse at the school year rolls

blood type : a+

nickname : mousie, lovemouse, etc.

relationship status : in a qpr <3

zodiac sign : taurus !

pronouns : he/she/they

favourite tv show : doctor who without a doubt.

college : in my first year of a master’s degree in language and communication.

hair colour : blonde.

long or short : very short.

do you have a crush on someone ? : i am in a qpr, the only person i love is the beautiful sara <3

what do you like about yourself : my ability to get back up when i’m down <3

firsts :

first surgery : probably some stitches after i hurt my head against a tile when i was 2 years old... it wasn’t good at all and i have a scar to prove it hahaha

first piercing : my ears. i was probably 9 or 10.

first best friends : a boy and a girl in kindergarten.

first sport you joined : hm... probably dance or swimming. i maybe started both on the same year, i don’t remember exactly lol

first vacation : me & my family travelled a lot across france, but my first vacation alone was in italy when i was 12 for a school trip !

first pair of sneakers : probably as a baby lol

eating : nothing

drinking : nothing

i’m about to : do my groceries

listening to : nothing

want kids : maybe hahaha idk (not for now for sure but maybe in a few years)

get married : yes yes yes. for all the benefits (legal and financial) and just because i want a ceremony all about me and sara XD

career : probably a writer, a political journalist/activist/movie & tv show critic/all of the above ? lol

which is better :

lips or eyes : eyes

hugs or kisses : hugs <3

shorter or taller : i’m pretty small so usually people are taller than me (even you sara :P)

older or younger : probably older XD

romantic or spontaneous : hm... i like planning but also i like to have fun, it doesn’t have to be romantic at all !

sensitive or loud : sensitive.

troublemaker or hesitant : hesitant.

have you ever :

kissed a stranger : nope.

drank hard liquor : maybe a bit by accident (i thought it was flavoured lemonade without alcohol but there was vodka in it)

lost glasses/contacts : nope.

sex on first date : nope.

broken someon’s heart : nope.

been arrested  : nope.

turned someone down : nope.

fallen for a friend : nope.

do you believe :

in yourself : i try everyday, sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t.

miracles : maybe

love at first sight : probably for others, not for me though

heaven : i try not to think of that because it makes me think of death.

santa claus : i believe we’re all santa claus in our own little way. (it sounds cheesy doesn’t it ? well i’m that cheesy XD)

feel free to do it if you see it on your dash !

[iwazoomz]

Get to Know the Blogger!

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

I was tagged by: @great-nardo thank u B

LAST: Last drink: Orange Gatorade bc im sick Last phone call: i have no idea prob my dad Last text message: “DREAMWORKS U BITCH ASS MAKE ME CRY SO MUCJ” Last song you listened to: runaway by pell Last time I cried: a couple hours ago

HAVE YOU EVER: Dated someone twice: nope Been cheated on: yeah Kissed someone and regretted it: nope Lost someone special: like death? not rlly idk Been depressed: yeah Been drunk and thrown up: not to tht point nah

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU: Made a new friend: YEAH! A LOT Fallen out of love:  i have no idea Laughed until you cried: like last night with my qpp Met someone who changed you: yeah Found out who your true friends were: im not that deep  Found out someone was talking about you: uh nope!maybe in good ways?

GENERAL: How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?:SJDHFN like two Do you have any pets?: My piss king Bagheera (he wont stop fucking pissing in corners) i love him so much but hes my devil kitten Do you want to change your name?: no neo is imbedded in my soul by now, my birffname yeah  What time did you wake up this morning?: 5 am What were you doing last night?:playing Minecraft wit some people Name something you cannot wait for: high school to be over Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my dads name is tom What’s getting on your nerves rn?: the fact tht ive misses 4 days of school due to this sickness and ts bearing rlly hard on me and i wanna cry from frustration bc im in a new school new state and idk how the fuck they handle absences and  dont wanna have a huge workload. Blood type: no idea Nickname: uhhh Bubba/Bubby?  Relationship status: gay and single dont wanna mingle  Zodiac sign: Taurus Pronouns: He/Him Favorite tv show: Love Live sif/sunshine or Voltron atm College: im in 11th grade Hair colour: brown Do you have a crush on someone: no What do you like about yourself: idk atm todays not a good day JDHFBSJD

FIRSTS: First surgery: i dont think ive had surgery First piercing: i got my earlobe pierced n 8th grade First sport you joined: volleyball, badminton First vacation: ive never had one? Eating: i havent eaten anythng today but i rlly want some gotdamn hotfries Drinking: orange gaterade I’m about to: scream Listening to: the fan nose and bagheeras meowing and shufflng next to me Want kids: yeah adoption maybe Get married: ya eventually idk atm Career: OOF/.......I have no ideas for my future im so sorry my guy

WHICH IS BETTER: Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: god hugs Shorter or taller: shorter Older or younger: uhh middle ground? either is fne so long as its not a huge gap Romantic or spontaneous: romantic Sensitive or loud: what? Hook up or relationship: none atm no thanks. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant im a pussy

HAVE YOU EVER: Kissed a stranger:  no Drank hard liquor: yeah Lost glasses/contacts: uhh once i dropped em at school and couldnt see to find em Sex on first date: idk depends Broken someone’s heart: JDNSBFHN idk i think so Been arrested: no but thats a big fear  Turned someone down: yeah Fallen for a friend: uhh no not rlly

DO YOU BELIEVE: In yourself: no  Miracles: nope Love at first sight: infatuation at first sight..not love Heaven: nah not rlly Santa Claus: JDHBFNJD NO?

i know like two people why 

@heckingtoby @senjutsui @emimoo @muertea @queerkarl @chdori @gayest-loser

u guys can just ignore ik tag memes arent everyones thang

[squireofgeekdom]

hello friends im emotional about lucius and fayeth again

[gansbeee-archive]

I was tagged by @medjedofficial !! Rules: Answer these statements and tag 20 people

i tag: @the-dreamers-boy @for-the-life-ofme @colorcodedplant @deathdippedinroses (none of you have to do this if you don’t want to! Any of my mutuals are free to do this, just put me as the person who tagged you! <3)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water probably

2. Phone call: My mom

3. Text message: ‘HOLY SHIT’ to adam about some hamilton meta

4. Song you listened to: Probably no one else performed by philippa soo from the great comet

5. Time you cried: listening to the aforementioned song

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: never dated.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone.

8. Been cheated on: N/A

9. Lost someone special: hahaha i dont think theyre special anymore :^)

10. Been depressed: Ive been depressed for at least the past 6 years.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green

13. Turquoise

14. Indigo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: a few!

16. Fallen out of love: i have never been in love. At least, not in the traditional sense.

17. Laughed until you cried: just the other day. I was in a voice chat w some of my pals and my friend tobi laughed for about 5 minutes at a picture of a melted rubber ducky. Obviously i had to join.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: lmao more than once!!!

19. Met someone who changed you: i’ve changed a lot over the years, and i find it difficult to attribute that change to a single person or even a group of people.

20. Found out who your friends are: Yes. I think i finally have.

21. Kissed a mutual? Nope.

GENERAL

22. How many mutuals do you know in real life: @for-the-life-ofme (my best friend!) @the-dreamers-boy (my qpp!) @morriha (a good old pal) @medjedofficial (a new pal!) @colorcodedplant (another new pal!!!)

23. Do you have any pets: yep! Two cats: luke, a fat tabby, and ruby, a beautiful and sweet tortoiseshell calico

24. Do you want to change your name: I haven’t really thought about it yet.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i think i had a party at a pizza place and then had a sleepover after? It was kinda small

26. What time did you wake up: this morning i woke up at 8:30 b/c of aikido practice

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was sleepy peepy

28. Name something you can’t wait to get: i’m not really looking forward to anything short term. But long term- an apartment w my qpp @the-dreamers-boy , a drawing tablet, and top surgery/testosterone

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: sometime last night

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: besides the obvious (gender and money), i want a drive. I want something to look forward to, something to research, something to fall in love with.

31. What are you listening to right now: as i type this, i’m in the car and giving up the gun by vampire weekend is playing. If i could pick, i would probably be listening to the great comet rn

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: um? That is likely, yes.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not feelin this whole societal concept of gender

34. Most visited website: youtube and tungle.hell

35. Mole/s: they are. Everwhere. Most noticeably my face, arms, back, and legs- however they are on p much all my body parts.

36. Mark/s: faint thin scars on my hip, old scabs on my knees and elbows, a small crescent shaped scar on my knee. Also a surgery scar on my right wrist.

37. Childhood dream: I think i wanted to be a vet or a nurse. Jokes on you, past self, i can barely take care of my own health let alone other people’s

38. Hair color: light brown. Lowkey copper highlights? Blonde parts from previous dyeing

39. Long or short hair: reeeally long. Like, to my mid-back.

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: besides celebrities and unattainable characters? No one.

41. What do you like about yourself: ???

42. Piercings: I have pierced ears that have long since closed and that’s it

43. Blood type: i have no clue

44. Nicknames: gansey or kat

45. Relationship status: no romantic partner. I dunno if my qpp @the-dreamers-boy counts?

46. Zodiac: virgo sun and scorpio moon

47. Pronouns: they/them.

48. Favorite TV show(s): fma, pmmm, vld, probably other various anime i cant think of rn

49. Tattoos: none right now

50. Right or left hand: i’m right handed

51. Surgery: i had a gross abscess on my right wrist (probably from writing too much). In the future i’ll want top surgery and i might need hip surgery

52. Hair dyed a different color: as an experiment i dyed some strands magenta. They washed out to pink, and i kind of hated it, so i let it fade out.

53. Sports: I don’t play any.

54. Vacation: i’ve gone to niagara falls, canada, and various places out west in the states. I’d really like to go to spain, japan, and Mexico someday.

55. Shoes: for depression and summer’s sake, I’m often wearing either slippers, just socks, or flip-flops. When i have to go outside, i have a few pairs of converse, sneakers, and boots that get me by

56. Eating: i’m going to get food after i finish this, but the last thing i ate was ice cream last night (FUTURE ME REGRETS THIS BC IVE HAD TO FORMAT THIS THREE DAMN TIMES)

57. Drinking: i may end up drinking because it’s really big in my family, but i refuse to do it often.

58. I’m about to: get some fuckin food after 50 minutes of editing this format!!! Tumblr mobile doesn’t have an html editor :^)

59. Waiting for: marching band camp

60. Want: perhaps a love interest at some point? I mean i already mentioned other stuff (apartment, tablet, top surgery)

61. Get married: not sure. I think if i loved someone enough, i’d consider it.

62. Career: i don’t know. I want to do so many things. I think i will become either an architect or computer programmer, with my art on the side. Ideally, i’d want to be an editor, museum curator, physicist, or even an animator.

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: hugs for me

64. Lips or eyes: Both are good

65. Shorter or taller: i’m in the middle (5'6"), but my qpp still loves to tease me abt it

66. Older or younger: um? Dating wise, in high school my partner shouldn’t be more than about a year older or younger b/c puberty is different every year. When i’m older i may have different standards. Friend wise? Ironically, i’m the youngest most of the time, yet i’m the wisest.

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: i’m kinda a tummy person, but both are good

68. Sensitive or loud: im more sensitive. I can be loud when i’m comfortable around people, yet often I’m embarrassed after my outbursts.

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m usually the voice of reason here.

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: never.

72. Drank hard liquor: No.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I haven’t lost my glasses yet, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if i did. I’m a mess.

74. Turned someone down: i was asked out by two different straight dudes in middle school. I turned them both down

75. Sex on first date: i’m ace, so?

76. Broken someone’s heart: i’m unsure if i have or not

77. Had your heart broken: yes.

78. Been arrested: No

79. Cried when someone died: yes

80. Fallen for a friend: years ago, i thought i did.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: depends

82. Miracles: I believe they can happen but are very rare

83. Love at first sight: I don’t think love works that way, but who am i to tell others they’re wrong?

84. Santa claus: unfortunately no

85. Kiss on the first date: i’m not ready for that

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: jane!! (Her name’s actually sophia) @for-the-life-ofme

87. Eye color: light blue

88. Favorite movie: howl’s moving castle, coraline, kubo and the two strings

[ruthlesslistener]

tagged by both @omuii and @nightsky7ibra ! Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: fuck if I know, I don’t like speaking over phones 3. Text message: I’m not allowed to have text because it ‘interferes with my studies’ 4. Song you listened to: Hate Machine by The Neighborhood 5. Time you cried: couple days ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: More times than I’d like to admit 8. Been cheated on: yeah 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: currently depressed 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah, my dad is convinced we’re gonna be alcoholics if he lets us so much as look at wine so there’s none in the house LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Blood red, deep purple, Prussian blue IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: Yes 17. Laughed until you cried: no 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: no 20. Found out who your friends are: no 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I made my Facebook at 3am when I was high off pain meds and haven’t touched it since. 23. Do you have any pets: I have two fish, one snail, two budgies, and a rabbit that won’t stop clawing at my legs 24. Do you want to change your name: I’m half-and-half. Arianna isn't that bad, since Ari is gender-neutral, but the more I use Aren the more I feel it fits me better 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: shit I can’t remember 26. What time did you wake up: somewhere around 11 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: writing 28. Name something you can’t wait for: freedom 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a minute ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My sex/my father 31. What are you listening right now: One for the Money by Escape the Fate 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I think my father has a coworker named Tom? Idk I hate all of them 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: WHAT ISN’T GETTING ON MY NERVES 34. Most visited website: tumblr, youtube, archive of our own, deviantart, fanfiction.net LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: At the bottom of my throat and the inside of my left thigh 36. Mark/s: I have scars all over my arms from my perpetual skin-picking 37. Childhood dream: to be an animal behaviorist 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: short, I hate the feeling of hair on the back of my neck (and yet my parents refuse to let me cut it shorter) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no 41. What do you like about yourself: I have a nice eye shape/ my face is somewhat gender-neutral 42. Piercings: basic ear piercings 43. Blood type: Shit idk, I think it was O+ or something 44. Nickname: Ari, you fucking bird, that thing, etc 45. Relationship status: I have a qpp 46. Zodiac: Virgo 47. Pronouns: they/them, he/him if you must use gendered pronouns 48. Favorite TV Show: Hetalia, My Cat From Hell if it has to be American 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: I’m ambidextrous 51. Surgery: none 52. Hair dyed in different color: The closest I came was some red spray-on stuff that my dad destroyed the second he found out 53. Sport: I like soccer, horseback riding, archery, and I’m trying to force my father to let me take fencing 55. Vacation: I want to visit Norway with my mother at least some time in my life 56. Pair of trainers: I have a pair of running shoes that I almost never wear because they chafe like a bitch MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I haven’t eaten since breakfast 58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: Hopefully get over my tendency for being distracted every few seconds so I can write 61. Waiting for: motivation 62. Want: to be free and alone to do whatever the fuck I want, top surgery, many many fucking things. 63. Get married: Hell fucking no, I’d be hell to live with 64. Career: animal behaviorist/psychologist WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: neither 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: shorter 68. Older or younger: I don’t date so idk? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference 71. Sensitive or loud: neither 72. Hook up or relationship: neither 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, because I don’t wanna have to deal with the repercussions of troublemakers 74. Kissed a Stranger: Unfortunately :/ 75. Drank hard liquor: nah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I haven't seen my prescription reading glasses for three years 77. Turned someone down: many times 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yep 80. Had your heart broken: Ye p 81. Been arrested: I’m not allowed to leave the house 82. Cried when someone died: Do pets count as ‘someone’ 83. Fallen for a friend: nah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Hell no 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: I’m 50/50. I don’t see what’s wrong with keeping an open mind 88. Kiss on the first date: Nah OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Parrish 91. Eye color: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: The Guardians of Ga’Hoole is an eyegasm everytime I see it NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: HEYYYY anxiety about social contact is a bitch so if you see this you’re officially tagged

[terafonne]

tagged by: gay mom #4 lina @everythingthatmatters
rules - you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 (ish) people.
tagging: @onemanbellarmy @c-cosette @xyzxyzxyzx @graywaeren @vulcanupthatbitch @tooquirkytolose @snowsheba @susiecarter uhhhh heck im blanking honestly whoever else wants to THE LAST
1.drink: korean rice punch
2. phone call: mom
3. text message: mom
4. song you listened to: into the west - peter hollens cover
5. time you cried: ?? dunno. i think it was a rly angsty superbat fic 6. dated someone twice: never
7. kissed someone and regretted it: yup, last august
9. lost someone special: yeah
10. been depressed: yeah
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no 3 favorite colors
12. soft pink
13. blue
14. silver (trans colors woo) IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
15. made new friends: yes
16. fallen out of love: no
17. laughed until you cried: no
18. found out someone was talking about you: no
19. met someone who changed you: yes
20. found out who your friends are: yes?? they r my friends??? 
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes GENERAL
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them?
23. do you have any pets: two silly cats!
24. do you want to change your name: nah
25. what did you do for your last birthday: family dinner, and my dad bought a cake w lactose so .-.
26. what time did you wake up: 9am
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing battle cats
28. name something you can’t wait for: getting cats a cat tree
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago
31. what are you listening to right now: normal house sounds??
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes
33. something that is getting on your nerves: do you know how much dairy is in everything. butter and whipped cream and pizza and sandwiches and i just wanna eat ice cream fuck this shit ಠ_ಠ 
34. most visited website: ao3/spacebattles/tumblr/reddit
35. hair colour: black
36. long or short hair: short
37. do you have a crush on someone: nuh
38. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhh. generosity?
39. piercings: ear lobes
40. blood type: either O or B
41. nickname: no
42. relationship status: qpp w zeph
43. zodiac: leo
44. pronouns: she/her
45. favourite tv show: leverage!!!
46. tattoos: no
47. right or left handed: right
48. surgery: once i got a fish hook in my ear
49. piercing: see question 39?
50. sport: no except maybe carrying my team in comp ow
51. vacation: nz & jp
52. pair of trainers: hey england the fuck does this mean MORE GENERAL
53. eating: ye...s??? i... do that?
54. drinking: yes i drink stuff? ???? what does this mean
55. i’m about to: read worm fic
56. waiting for: uh. motivation? a job? return of my fucks?
57. want: more cats?
58. get married: tax purposes
59. career: ????????????????????????????????? WHICH IS BETTER
60. hugs or kisses: hug
61. lips or eyes: eyes
62. shorter or taller: dunno
63. older or younger: dunno
64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms? i guess?
65. hook up or relationship: i have no data to analyze
66. troublemaker or hesitant: ^ HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: no
68. drank hard liquor: i took a sip of sake in jp is that hard ?
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: hahahahaha dude so many
70. turned someone down: no
71. sex on the first date: no
72. broken someone’s heart: no
73. had your heart broken: no
74. been arrested: no
75. cried when someone died: yes
76. fallen for a friend: yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. yourself: not really
78. miracles: no
79. love at first sight: no
80. santa claus: no
81. kiss on the first date: if it feels right
82. angels: no OTHER:
83. current best friend’s name: i call her zeph online 
84. eye colour: brown
85. favorite movie: currently moana

[the-dreamers-boy]

I was tagged by @smallsapphling !! Rules: Answer these statements and tag 20 people

Tagging: @dubbedsirens and @awesomegayurl (Y'all don’t have to do this if you don’t want to! Any of my mutuals are free to do this, just put me as the person who tagged you!!)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Milk

2. Phone call: My dad

3. Text message: “I may have lost my glasses” to Michael I found them

4. Song you listened to: “Burn” I love Phillipa

5. Time you cried: finding out one of the “Dream Daddys” is trans

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone 😅

8. Been cheated on: Nope (:

9. Lost someone special: Kinda-ish

10. Been depressed: Atleast since 5th grade

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No way

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Pink

13. Dark Blue

14. Green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yeah!!

16. Fallen out of love: Does friend love count bc hooo boy

17. Laughed until you cried: Any conversation I’ve ever had with Kat and Sophia that’s gotten funny

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Sadly yes

19. Met someone who changed you: i’ve changed a lot over the years, and i find it difficult to attribute that change to a single person or even a group of people

20. Found out who your friends are: I think so yeah

21. Kissed a mutual? Nada

GENERAL

22. How many mutuals do you know in real life: @for-the-life-ofme (my best friend!) @smallsapphling (my qpp!) @morriha (a super nifty kiddo)

23. Do you have any pets: yep! Two cats: Boots, an orange tabby, Mittens, a a shy creature that has recently decided she liked me and a dog Lance, a hyper active husky/yellow lab mix

24. Do you want to change your name: Adam 😜

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I had Kat and Sophia over for dinner/sleep over and watched the fuckin anime with the nb character and all the dudes which name escapes me atm

26. What time did you wake up: 11:22 bc I finally found proper sleep for like the first time in months??

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching YouTube

28. Name something you can’t wait to get: Long term- an apartment w my qpp @smallsapphling , legal name change, and top surgery/testosterone

29. When was the last time you saw your Mom: like two minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: besides the obvious (gender and money), i want a drive. I want something to look forward to, something to research, something to fall in love with (Kat’s answer again really speaks to me)

31. What are you listening to right now: As of this second nothing (surprisingly(

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I dunno, probably??

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not feelin this whole societal concept of gender (Kat’s answer is again perfect)

34. Most visited website: youtube an’ Tumblr bc why not depression blog

35. Mole/s: occasional spots but not a whole lot

36. Mark/s: faint thin scars on my arms/thighs/calves, scraped knees, a small scar on my mouth, a rubber burn on my calf bc a kid hit me with a bike, and a huge surgery scar on my hip

37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a vet

38. Hair color: light brown/blonde, Lowkey platinum highlights???? Redish part from previous dyeing

39. Long or short hair: Short (:

40. Do you have a crush on someone?: besides celebrities, unattainable characters, and my Boyfriend? Nope

41. What do you like about yourself: there’s something probably

42. Piercings: I have pierced ears, four in each

43. Blood type: *shrug*

44. Nicknames: technically Adam is a nickname I guess

45. Relationship status: @deathdippedinroses and my qpp @smallsapphling

46. Zodiac: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: he/him

48. Favorite TV show(s): vld, atla, CM, and possibly htawm

49. Tattoos: none right now

50. Right or left hand: Right handed

51. Surgery: I’ve had atleast 6/7

52. Hair dyed a different color: Rebellion I dyed it red and soon pink

53. Sports: I don’t play anymore

54. Vacation: Mexico, Australia, Bahamas, various states and other Spanish speaking countries

55. Shoes: Summer I prefer to go without. When I have to wear shoes I have converse, vans, and various sandals (and sketchers as my work shoes)

56. Eating: The last thing I ate was bad homemade ravioli

57. Drinking: I hope to God I never drink heavily

58. I’m about to: Pack for Arizona!!!!

59. Waiting for: *Repunzel voice* my life beginnnnnnn

60. Want: To escape my mother

61. Get married: Possibly?? Like who knows man

62. Career: Tbh I just wanna live through highschool rn, that’s as far as I’ve looked as to a future

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!!

64. Lips or eyes: Both are good

65. Shorter or taller: I’m tall in comparison to average but also the shortest in my family (5 foot 10ish)

66. Older or younger: what does this mean though, like dating wise? Friendship wise? How I act? How I look?

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: Man I love people

68. Sensitive or loud: I range from never stop yelling to haven’t spoken ever depending on anxiety levels

69. Hook up or relationship: Relationship baby

70. Troublemaker or hesitant: @smallsapphling is my impuls control @for-the-life-ofme is also pretty good at keeping me grounded but without them I pierce my ears and probably would shave my head and call my mother’s husband a racist homophobic douch canoe

HAVE YOU EVER:

71. Kissed a stranger: Nope!!

72. Drank hard liquor: No.

73. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I miss place them a lot but never lose

74. Turned someone down: Nope

75. Sex on first date: probably not

76. Broken someone’s heart: i’m unsure if i have, but possibly

77. Had your heart broken: yeah

78. Been arrested: No

79. Cried when someone died: Yeah

80. Fallen for a friend: I thought I did, but like nooooo

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

81. Yourself: sonetimes

82. Miracles: define miracle

83. Love at first sight: define love

84. Santa claus: Sadly I do not

85. Kiss on the first date: maybe?? Define date and kiss

OTHER:

86. Current best friend: Jane (Blue)!! (Her name’s actually Sophia) @for-the-life-ofme

87. Eye color: Blue/greenish

88. Favorite movie: howl’s moving castle, coraline, and I really like Moana

[minecraftgender]

current list of all alters

oh lord here we go: Luna: Hello! Im Luna! Normally I talk with a semicolon (;) before what I say. I'm 37 years old (my birthday is April 8) and I've really been around for about four years. I formed in the summer of 2014. I pretended to be an imaginary friend for the longest time up until late February. I'm the mother of our system along with a few others. I really don't have much to say about myself other than that. Oh also I'm pregnant and due in October. Jason: hey im jason im a protector or some shit. idk i like popcorn and homestuck. im 17 i guess my birthday is december 6 because im a fucking homestuck. i formed in late february by being an asshole and yelling at jade because he hates himself. im married to john egbert. woo. oh and addie (theyll be mentioned a lot) is my moirail. i type with a comma (,) before i say anything Lily: HI IM LILY!!!!! im 11 so shut the fuck up!!!!!! i can move up ages if i want. i formed in early march i think but i dont remember exactly when. i like cake and cats and jade and i wanna be just like him!! sometimes i draw!!! oh and my birthday is july 20 just like jade!!!!! im gonna be 12 soon!!!!!!!!! jades best friend addie is my mama and luna is my mom and other people are more moms!!L i have a lot of moms!!!!!!! I TYPE WITH A CLOSING PARENTHISIS LIKE THIS ) Jake: hi im jake. im 14. ill be 15 next march 18th, which is the day i formed. i think i have autism and my special interest is dogs. jades best friend addie is my mom too. i like the color purple, slime and rivers. i have 25 dogs. i really dont know what else to say about myself. i use an equal sign before i say stuff (=). im one of the tallest people in the system because im 6'4" tall. Ruby: hey im ruby im jades old imaginary friend. im 17, ill be 18 on halloween. i just kina appeared in here, its cool. i like minecraft and my little pony. idk im kinda just here and i sleep a lot and i use a question mark (?) Grey: hi there im Grey. i dont really do much in here, just play board games with aradia. i can also tell the future somewhat. really only if it pertains to jade. im 15 and i dont have a birthday since i dont really care about it. i type with an underscore (_). im really not that interesting. uhhhhh i got vored once and it wasnt fun. Emily: we really dont know much about her since she sleeps a lot. we do know that shes 20 years old. she only ever wakes up if im highly anxious. we think shes a survial alter if the rest of us are gone shell be there. shes super sweet tho. Becquerel: Hello, I'm Becquerel, yes the dog from Homestuck. I dont really do much except cuddle with those that want it and protect everyone. I have my old powers, so I can teleport our headspace out of technical existence and such. And still fetch bullets hehe. I was pulled out of a successful timeline though I don't think it was the alpha one. I use a carat (^) to type. I was given a collar that allows me to speak. I like it a lot! [you know, like Up] Rose: Hello, I'm Rose Lalonde-Maryam. I tend to not care about capitalization anymore, I have completely given up on it with this damned device. I'm married to and having a child with Kanaya. She and I are both dating the host Jade. I'm the other mother of this system. I also deal with children when the body has to. I and the others are 22 this year. I have vague memories of the game and all that but Jade needs to hurry up and finish the comic so I can remember the rest. I type using the rose emoji (🌹). John: hey! its your local tricky boy john egbert! i got tossed in here from the same timeline as rose and the others. i am just regular old john! i hang out in here and fight if i need to. i married jason a fee months ago. i type with a hammer emoji (🔨) Dave: its ya boi. anyway im the local fucking rap god. fergalicious, my neck my back, and deepthroat are my theme songs. im dating karkat, hes cute as fuck. i man the tunes in here [he plays fergalicious on repeat]. its lit fuckers. anyway i type with the sunglasses emoji (🕶) that doesnt show up on android. peace. Jade: hi im jade!!!! i used to be jadesprite but i was sad soooooo i got changed to normal dog tier me! i come from a tl where i still have bec powers after i finish the game too which is cool!!! i hang out with Bec and garden by the river! i type with a dog emoji before my sentences (🐶)!!! Roxy: heeeeeyyy its rosxy. i give up on soelling snd shit so yeah. i give out food if u ask and i pretend 2 b a wizurd sometimez. its fun in hrre i can fo nothing all fay. obvs i still drink (i give u some if u ask nice). i thpe with a glass (🍸) n shit. s fun. i dont remember rly anything from my tl. Jane: Hey! I just formed so I dont know or do much in here. I bake for the kids if they ask nicely! I mostly spend my time with Rox. I type with a spoon emoji (🥄) Aradia: Hell0! I've caught up with a l0t of mem0ries and I'm getting m0re with time. I spend my time playing b0ard games with Grey. I'm dating S0llux and Feferi. I have been t0ld that I give nice hugs. I type with my symb0l first (♈️) Tavros: hEY,, ITS UH,,, tAVROS. i SIT IN HERE AND PLAY WITH ALL THE DOGS. iF ANYONE NEEDS ME TO PROTECT THE SYSTEM I DO. i KINDA STAY AWAY FROM VRISKA BUT,,, uH,, sHE SEEMS OK. i DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. i USE MY SYMBOL BEFORE I TYPE (♉️) Sollux: what2 up. the local pun ma2ter ii2 iin bu2iine22 over here. ii 2pend my tiime relaxiing and enjoyiing not haviing anythiing two really do. playiing that fuckiing game take2 a lot out of you. ii protect the 2y2tem iif ii need two. iim datiing aa and ff. ii al2o type wiith my 2ymbol (♊️) Karkat: I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKERS WANT FROM ME. IM LITERALLY THE FUCKING SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, RELAXING WITH NOTHING TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DO FOR ONCE. MY GREATEST FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT IS EATING 49 PIZZAS WITHOUT PUKING. I PUKED ON THE 50TH. I TYPE WITH MY FUCKING SYMBOL SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE (♋️) Nepeta: :33 < hey! i sit in here and spend looots of time with my meowrail Equius and my rp partner Terezi! its so purrfect to not have all the responsibilities of the game anymore. aaaaand im not dead! i type with my symbol (♌️) but sometimes i furget. 833 wats this Kanaya: Hello Children. I Am Married To Rose Lalonde-Maryam And I Am Dating The Host Jade. I Spend My Time Being Gay And Sleeping. I Unironically Like Vore I Am Not Ashamed To Admit It. I Also Discovered Memes And I Enjoy Them Very Much. Ben Is A Hoe. Bitches Like Yellow. I Type With My Symbol As Well (♍️) Terezi: H3Y. 1 H4T3 TYP1NG ON TH1S SO 1 W1LL M4K3 TH1S SHORT. 4H3M. 1 DONT DO MUCH H3R3 HOST J4D3 1S MY QPP 4ND TH4TS 4BOUT 1T. 1 US3 MY SYMBOL TOO (♎️) Vriska: idk im here for some dum8ass reason. i pro8a8ly wont quirk. im too tired to do anything. jade said i have depression and hes probably right. i spend all my time laying on the floor doing nothing 8ut think about eeeeeeeeverything that went wrong back then. anyway i use my sym8ol to 8e different from everyone else (♏️) Equius: D --> um. i am not sure what i am supposed to say. jason told me to say that i sniff e%haust fumes, which is not a lie. i mostly spend time with nepeta to keep her out of trouble. i am attempting to get over my "obsessiveness with the highb100ds. i use my symbol before speech (♐️) Gamzee: WhAtS uP mOtHeRfUcKeRs YoUr LoCaL cLoWn Is HeRe. I DuNnO I lIkE wEeD aNd HoNkInG oMinOuSlY aT iNcOnVeNiEnT tImEs. I jUsT hAnG oUt WiTh My BrO kArKat. MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS bRo. (♑️) Eridan: i dont understand the point of wwritin all this. i spend my time "sulkin" accordin to everyone else. im just relaxin and thinkin about wwhen i didnt have to remember all the bad shit. i also practice magic behind kanayas back. i used the Aquarius symbol before typin (♒️) Feferi: )(ey! I also really dont do much in here. I spend time wit)( Sollux and Aradia thoug)(! We like to talk about life back before the game. ot)(er than that i dont do muc)(. i use my symbol before i say anything (♓️) Her Imperious Condesension: she doesnt want to talk about herself since she doesnt remember much. she didnt know anything when she first arrived so Lily screamed at her to get her into submission. she wont hurt anyone. she uses (🐠) Jack Noir: he wont write anything because hes an asshole. he doesnt really talk anyway unless hes being fucking rude. he uses (⬛️) before he talks. he just generally hates everyone. Steven: Hi! I'm Steven Quartz Universe! I just showed up one day! I hang around and play with the dogs and the others. I'm 14 and I'll be 15 in two months!! I cant wait to talk!!! I use an upside down exclamation point before talking (¡). It's nice to meet you! Wildfang: she never talks, shes super shy but shes 9 year old me. idk how she got here or why. i think its a stable time loop. Rainbow Dash: yo its rainbow dash! im 16! im from host jades sunset shimmer canon!! i just got here yesterday! im agender so i use they/them pronouns and aro/ace. stay cool bitches. go punch a transphobe or smth idk. i use a rainboy emoji before i talk (wow so creative (🌈)) there are also four clones of my best friend and i think a clone of my datemate that disappeared. so 36 countable people including me.

[hellbenderz]

crush is an understatement im in love with my qpp they mean the whole world to me and i dream of us two getting married and spending every day with each other and waking up next to them and cuddling them for hours but they have a girlfriend that theyve been with for over a year and it just hurts

im so sorry :( i know it hurts a lot to love someone who’s with someone else. the only thing i can really say is that if you never end up together, you’ll find someone else who loves you. i know it’s hard to imagine loving anyone else but it won’t always hurt like this.