#qpp zine

[qpp-kallura-zine]

🍓 Strawberry Seeds Digital Sales Re-Opened!

We're excited to announce that we have reopened digital zine sales for Strawberry Seeds, a queer platonic Kallura zine!

Digital sales will remain open until our shipping grace period ends on December 2! If you missed our preorders, now is your chance to snag this zine!

🍓PURCHASE STRAWBERRY SEEDS HERE!🍓

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[star-dot-net]

I got bored so here's a little get-to-know-you tag game I think could be fun :3

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

────────

Name(s): Loki (highly preferred), Elye

Pronouns : they/them mostly, he/she okay too

Star sign: Pisces

# of siblings: I've got 2! An older sister and a younger sibling. The fun fact about them is that they're also both queer; in fact, my mom is too. The only non-queer person in my immediate family is my dad.

# of pets: 4 cats! Phoebe & Frankie are our girls, Lenny and Murray are our boys :3

Fandoms: MCU (kind of), BSD, OFMD, Ranboo (does his fanbase count as a fandom?)

Fav. color: Don't have one

Fav. song: Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon

Fav. author: Alice Oseman

Hobbies: singing, acting, drawing, writing, procrastinating

Fav. fic type: Fluff, definitely. I am a sucker for well written coffee-shop and flower-shop aus, too. Smut's fine, but only if it's romantic. I can't do angst if there's no comfort.

Fav. Holiday: Hanukkah or Halloween! I love autumn and winter

Partners?: Yes! I have a girlfriend (queerplatonic) who I love very much, and a boyfriend (romantic) who I love very much :]

Fun facts:

- Even though I'm a cat person, I really, really want a dog.

- I actually used to play sports. Because I don't do gendered leagues anymore, I don't play, but I've been looking for mixed/gender-neutral/queer sports teams. Baseball and basketball specifically!

- I started questioning my identity in 2019; I'm no closer to finding a label now than I was then. The difference is, now I don't want a label. I just am. :]

tags: @neonganymede @cha0ticlesbian @x-chiara @exceleo @brinnybee @autistic-katara @gandalfthemorallygrey @ohboyanotherlokiblog @roachandrenfri @ourflagmeanslokius @exceleo @edettethegreat @swiftlyspidey

[aspiring-asparagus]

Thanks for the tag @rockradiojunky

• Names: haven't really thought about it but I guess I am going by Asparagus here. My irl name also starts with an A

• Pronouns: anything works, but I mostly use he/she

• Star sign: virgo

• # of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any) I have two younger siblings, my brother is always trying to dare people to drink a bottle of ketchup

• # of pets & their names: I had a rat and a chicken

• Fandoms: The first show I remember watching is Merlin and I still love it. I watch a lot of movies /tv shows and don’t stay in those fandoms for too long, so I consider myself a fandom passerby rather than a resident. However I am way more consistent with my music fandoms. I tend to listen to 60s/70s rock. Queen is my favourite band, but currently I am obsessed with Lou Reed and the Kinks. I love David Bowie, Marc Bolan, Pink Floyd, Shocking Blue, the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Procol Harum, the Move, Jethro Tull, the Who, Travelling Wilburys, Slade, RHCP, the Rolling Stones and Sex Pistols. I also listen to a lot of 50s jazz.

• Favorite color: green

• Favorite song: no idea, but for the past few days I can’t stop listening to Echoes by Pink Floyd.

• Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): Sergei Dovlatov

• Hobbies: stitching, knitting and all of that stuff.

• Favorite fic type: don’t have one.

• Favorite holiday: New Year and Pongal.

• Do you have any partners)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): no

• Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!: I lived in three countries and I can move my ears.

Tagging @cloud-based-and-rainpilled @majorlycelliers @adharafirenze @eddiestardust

[samisnotlegend]

My BNHA Fics!

Hi guys, I'm Sammy! I have a lot of stuff, and I'm gonna have even more pretty soon! So here's a compilation of all of the stuff!

Multi-Chap WIPs

Broke Boys: QPP bkdk, 155,000 words, 16/20 chapters

A fic about Izuku and Katsuki overcoming poverty and hardship together. It's much sweeter than it sounds. Features quirkless but badass Izuku, and a struggling pro hero Katsuki.

Completed Multi-Chap

Tidal Hearts: 83,000 words, 21/21 chapters

A collab fic with @macksmilesback! It's a MerMay fic inspired by H20: Just Add Water. Features childhood sweethearts bkdk and good magic fishy-ness.

The Mysterious Resurrection of Midoriya Izuku, bkdkbk, 37,000 words, 10/10 chapters

Astronaut Bakugou has a bad time. Happy ending... eventually.

SFW Oneshots

Salvage: 6,500 works, Gen

A psuedo Venom/Bnha crossover, in which Izuku gets a Symbiote!

What Would Izuku Do?: 4,000 words, bkdk

In which Katsuki emulates Izuku after Izuku's "death," and then has a run-in with a certain member of the LoV. Villain Izuku, but also... Good Izuku. And simp Katsuki, if I'm being honest.

Joy of Being Forgotten: 11,000 words, bkdk

Demigod Katsuki and Monster(ish) Izuku. 'Nuff said. Very very happy ending.

The Dynamy Prince: 4,000 words, bkdk

Pokemon AU - Katsuki is turned into a Dynamy! Oh no!

Your Colors: 2,000 words, bkdk

A canon-compliant character study. Katsuki and Izuku talk about colors while really talking about love.

Sunlight Through Seaweed: 15,000 words, bkdk

A MerMay fic! Katsuki is an injured Great White Shark, and Leopard Shark Izuku helps him out. A personal favorite tbh.

It's Called Ultimate For a Reason: 2,000 words, bkdk

bkdk and friends play ultimate frisbee. That's it, that's the fic.

Tell Me about the Butterflies: 4,500 words, bkdk

Fantasy au bkdk go on a side quest to see some butterflies!

The Garden Scarecrow: 9,000 words, dkbk

Katsuki inherits a spooky house. Then he finds a spooky scarecrow. (This fic has two versions! The official anthology version, which can be read here, and the extended version on ao3, linked above!)

Bounty Daddies: 4,000 words, bkdkbk

Mandalorian AU. 'Nuff said. (This fic is from a free zine!)

NSFW Fics

Dead Vigilante Walking: 25,000 words, 2/2 chapters, bkdkbk

Izuku is a vigilante who is in love with his pro hero bestie.

See You Soon: 14,000 words, 1/1 chapters, bkdkbk

Katsuki is the heir to a mafia group, but he needs to get married before he can take over. Arranged marriage but also love at first sight.

Get Along: 3,000 words, 1/1 chapters, dkbk(ish)

bkdk's tension builds and builds... and finally snaps. This one is funny.

Next Year: 5,000 words, 1/1 chapters, dkbk

It's Izuku's birthday, but bkdk are stuck in the house. A sick fic + established relationship and extreme tenderness.

Rescue Me Home: 16,000 words 3/3 chapters, dkbk

Katsuki is a Nephilim who is being held captive by a church. He summons Demon Deku about it.

Waiting on the Reaper: 5,000 words, 1/1 chapters, dkbk

Katsuki is smitten with his grim reaper.

And there is so much more to come!!! Thanks for reading this far, and for supporting me! Love! Ya!

My Grocery Fund 💚🧡����

[trenchcrows]

@alli0s chain was looking a little scary long 😔 Ty for the tag :3

Name: crow

Pronouns: they/them

Star sign: Libra

# of siblings & fun facts about them(if you have em): a brother, he's really into fortnite

# of pets & their names: 2 corgis (dogs) Trevor and Lenny

Fandoms: uhhh idk I'm kinda at an inbetween, dsmp, hc, mcyt ig, and Lockwood & co

Favorite color: burple :3

Favorite song: it's so difficult :((( I think atm its the well by the crane wives

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): gotta say bonesandthebees super fun fic ideas and they're a lotta fun to read

Hobbies: writing, drawing, embroidery, sewing, guitar :D

Favorite fic type: found family and hurt/comfort

Favorite holiday: ahhhhhhh idr have one :( ig Halloween but it's not rlly a holiday and no one celebrates it around my area :(

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): in a qpp with good friend of the channel sailor :3

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share: uhhhh I once got a story I didn't try too hard writing into a collection series at my school 👍

@transdogday @gay-mooshrooms @yoki-loves-stars and whoever wants to :) no pressure tags

[marshmallowtraver]

tagged by (not really) @kym-truestory!!!! i saw this on my dash and i love doing these things so ^-^

❀・❀・❀・❀・❀

Name(s): danielle, people used to call me bloop and danwhale but they don't anymore lol

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: leo

number of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): one younger brother

number of pets & their names: 4 cats (olive, gracie, fluffy, brownie), 1 turtle (named after my brother bc it's his and he was 5 when he got it lol)

Fandoms: all time low, 5sos, set it off, boys like girls, hot chelle rae, pedro pascal, ghost from cod lol

Favorite color: grey

Favorite song: right now, it's "the sound of letting go" by all time low !!!!!

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): john green bc i'm a basic ass white girl

Hobbies: art (@ablogformyart), writing (@daniellesimagines)

Favorite fic type: enemies to lovers!!!!!!! also soulmate and royal aus :')

Favorite holiday: christmas

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): nope

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!: uhh i've been told it's weird that i pop the pill before i take the drink so that i guess lmao

❀・❀・❀・❀・❀

tagging: @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @palayeeeroyale @lovemailcollective @somethingsgottasaveyou @spinningintheshadows @pedgito @nonamefangirl @house-in-the-backyard-trees @swiftispunk and whoever else wants to do it just say i tagged u!!!!!

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

[tag game] get to know me

Thanks for the tag @xxluckystrike - love you, Blu! <3

name(s): helena! I'm no longer fussed about the pronunciation, I swear I've heard every iteration that is humanly possible. (it's phonetic. work it out people)

pronouns: she/her

star sign: libra

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): I have one sibling and we're super close. I'm a few years older than them and as such have successfully indoctrinated them into loads of my interests, and we love watching period dramas together - especially ones for 'old ladies' like Downton Abbey and Call the Midwife

# of pets & their names: I don't have any pets anymore, but I used to have 2 ginger cats - they were brothers named George and Jasper

fandoms: SOOOO many so I'm gonna have to shortlist - HBO War, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones/House of The Dragon, The Terror, Star Wars, Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows, Ted Lasso, BBC Ghosts, Doctor Who, Lord of The Rings/The Hobbit, and about a hundred different period dramas

favorite color: green!

favorite song: I think I'll have to go with I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers - literally nothing hits quite like it

favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): Leigh Bardugo is the author I've read the most of, but I also really love Taylor Jenkins Reid, her characters and writing style are really easy to engage with. I'm really getting into R.F. Kuang's books at the moment, as I'm currently reading the second book in the Poppy War trilogy.

hobbies: writing is ofc a big one, but I've always really loved art too! I've been acrylic painting for about ten years, which has enabled me to develop my skills in a way I'm really proud of, and I've recently started doing digital art too. I'm still trying to find my footing with that, and it'll take a lot of practice, but hopefully someday I might draw something good enough to post

favorite fic type: I love angst and fluff equally, it's all dependent on the character(s) I'm reading about or the mood I'm in tbh

favorite holiday: Christmas!!! I'm a Christmas girlie until I die, nothing else comes close

do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): nope

fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!: Wasn't sure if I should include music under fandoms, but it's a huge part of my life, so I thought I'd ramble about it here. My favourite artists are Hozier, Florence + The Machine, Phoebe Bridgers/Boygenius, and Taylor Swift (Who I'm going to see live this summer!). But I listen to music almost constantly, I literally can't do anything without it, whether I'm writing, working, or just walking around, music is an absolute life-saver to me

Tagging: @basilone @latibvles @dcyllom @trenchenjoyer @educationalporpoises @footprintsinthesxnd

[recycleable-username]

Tag Game bcs it sounds fun

(credit to @flowersbian for the list)

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cat / catlord (Think of it as cat lord being a full name.)

He/Him

Leo

1

I used to have 2 cats

My most active interests would be I Expect you to Die, Terraria, Rain World, and the SCP fandom.

Purple!

Tough to decide, but I'd say A Good Song Never Dies

FreakOfYourNature on Ao3

Playing videogames, riding my bike whenever its nice out, reading, writing, pixel art, also talking to my friends

Happy ones

Halloween I love candy

No

uhhhhh i have adhd... thats all i can think of

@poisonedmaple @verdeltiathedead if either of you wanna do this :3

[gay-----pisces2]

Name(s) -

Ricky (technically my nickname but honestly kinda like it more than my real one lol)

Pronouns -

He/Him, any Neos

Star sign -

Pisces (my moon is Capricorn and rising is Aquarius, at least i think idk it might be the other way around lol)

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any) -

I have a sister who isn't technically part of my family (we're buddies we just call eachother brother and sister)

# of pets & their names

8 cats, leopard gecko, and dog (not naming because thatd take too long lol)

Fandoms

RE Village, Homestuck

Favorite color

#1a2138 is its hex code, its a darkish grayish blue color

Favorite song

Its between Banned Forever by Renard and 1 2 3 Four by EGGPRIEST (my favorite songs change a lot though lol)

Favorite author (of anything readable– books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Junji Ito, generally into horror manga

Hobbies

Video games, watching youtube, debating/ranting

Favorite fic type

I don't really read fanfics anymore but I read a lot of romance (and generally any that had Karl Heisenberg and/or Lady Dimitrescu lol)

Favorite holiday

Halloween

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Nah, but sometimes I wish I did

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

I'm Trans (FTM), AroAce spec, and Biflux, currently learning both German and Russian (I know a lot more German though lol), and I may capitalize nouns randomly because in German all nouns are capitalized

[an-aura-about-you]

Long post is long, so I'll make a new one! Thank you @coolalicious for tagging me to do this!

Name(s) - Aura (to the point that if you see Aura in a handle somewhere else then it's probably me)

Pronouns - x/they/she in order of preference.

Star sign - on the Pisces side of the Aquarius/Pisces cusp

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any) - I have one sibling who's younger than me by 1 1/2 years. fun fact: their favorite animal is the platypus!

# of pets & their names - I have one cat, a little black domestic shorthair kitty named Schroedinger.

Fandoms - Princess Tutu, The Magnus Archives, the Chzo Mythos, Homestar Runner, and pretty much anything else I've got on the backburner

Favorite color - puce

Favorite song - this is always one of the hardest questions because does this mean of all time? just right now? the one that I can listen to endlessly on repeat? the one that makes me go 110% feral? I think I'll answer based on vibes, and based on vibes my favorite song is Gymnopedie no. 1 by Erik Satie.

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!) - oh, this is another hard one. it is not at all helped by the fact that I've been going through the audiobook of Lightlark and thoroughly enjoying it for reasons the author never intended, which is the case when you pursue media with a So Bad It's Good mindset. but I might have to give an honorable mention to Alex Aster anyway for the sheer number of times I had to pause her audiobook because I was doubled over laughing at it. but for a more sincere answer, I will pick Mel Brooks, which almost feels like cheating, but his professional memoir All About Me! was such an enjoyable ride and had that same voice and beloved sense of humor he's honed in his movies. Mel Brooks is one of the few celebrities I've written a fan letter to, an actual physical fan letter written by hand, and he is well worth that effort.

Hobbies - cooking, writing, taking walks at the park, playing games with friends

Favorite fic type - you know how some fandoms have a very specific type of fic by the nature of canon? my favorite fic is a type specific to the fandom for The Magnus Archives related to the tropes of Loves My Alter Ego and Two Sided Love Triangle. specifically, I love the premise Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist being a former member of real life band The Mechanisms (that real life Jonathan Sims was a member of) and hapless archival assistant Martin Blackwood being a fan of The Mechanisms, resulting in him being torn between his crush on his prickly boss and his crush on frontman Jonny d'Ville unaware that they are in fact the same person. my ideal version of this would be at a point where the crush is mutual and at first Jon uses his Jonny d'Ville persona to try acting as a wingman for Martin to get him with himself?? but then that kind of evolves into Martin dating Jonny while still being unaware it's Jon somehow. we're talking Rio Pacheco from Jem and the Holograms levels of unaware, which I will forgive Martin for because he's just so starstruck.

Favorite holiday - New Year's! I even made arrangements to take the whole week off so I can properly enjoy it. <3

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!) - nope! I'm happily single and ready for some Pringles!

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share! - so y'all know I love food and I like to cook, and I've mentioned before that I've been to culinary school, but I don't know how many of my current followers know that I actually went to Le Cordon Bleu for their baking and patisserie program and in fact graduated from there with honors. I earned my coveted blue cravat for doing so.

and I tag anyone who wants to do this!

[qpp-kallura-zine]

🍓Preorders close in THREE DAYS!

Preorders for Strawberry Seeds, a queer platonic Kallura zine, close in only THREE DAYS, on March 11!

Time to grab this queer platonic Kallura zine is running out, and we still have all our stretch goals to unlock! There are still a couple days left of our preorder period, so use this opportunity to grab a copy of the zine!

🍓 Digital Zine Bundle: $15

🍓 For an additional $3, you can add any unlocked stretch goals to your zine! This extra cost is to account for shipping, since this zine is digital! **If we do not reach any stretch goals, we will refund anyone who had the add-on the extra cost!

🌱PREORDER THE ZINE HERE🌱

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[somanywords]

Tagged by @tessabennet eons ago--thank you, friend! <3

Name: Cass

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: Aries

Number of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): 3 little sisters! Fun fact: we sing four part harmony because I am a cruel and unforgiving tyrant ;)

Number of pets & their names: Sister #3 and #4 have a guinea pig each, who go by the names of Crouton and Matzah Ball 🐹

Fandoms:

Captain America

Six of Crows

The Raven Cycle

Newsies

Percy Jackson

Red White and Royal Blue

Good Omens

Favourite colour: yellow 💛

Favourite song: I could never pick just one! But here's one of them:

Favourite author (of anything readable - books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever): Hmm. I like Maggie Stiefvater's style, Leigh Bardugo, Erin Morgenstern...I'm bad at picking, have you noticed yet?

Hobbies: writing, reading, drawing, taking care of plants, consuming all kinds of media (see above), singing, dancing, performing in musicals

Favourite fic type: slow burn, friends to lovers

Favourite holiday: Maybe Chanukah? Cozy and low key, pretty candles and yummy food. :D

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything): Partners in CRIME (friends)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share: I am going to go help my sister make pho for lunch and I literally cannot wait it's going to be soooooo good. Also I started working on a stevebucky fic today after weeks of hibernation, so that's nice?

No pressure tags for @turtle-steverogers @smfstump @booksandabeer @wllipt @emmedoesntdomath @blurglesmurfklaine @evergreen-lyricist @its-tortle @dharmasharks and anyone else who'd like to join <3

[somethingsgottasaveyou]

Thank you for the tag @marshmallowtraver !!

~~~~~~~~~~

Name(s): Lex / Alex if you will

Pronouns: they/them

Star sign: pisces

Number of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): zero

Number of pets & their names: one cat (Zoe)

Fandoms: All Time Low, Simple Plan, Frank Turner, Boys Like Girls Shadowhunters, How To Get Away With Murder, Young Royals and a bunch of others that I'm not too invested in

Favourite colour: blue but also green

Favourite song: trick question, favourite song by who, which album, in which universe?

Favourite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!): not too invested in reading to have a favourite I'm afraid (soz)

Hobbies: listening to music religiously, playing video games, concerts should count as a hobby at this point, travelling, escape rooms should also count as a hobby

Favourite fic type: high school au / friends to lovers

Favourite holiday: Christmas I guess

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!): nope

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!: recently agreed to fly to the UK to go to Slam Dunk with a friend to see Boys Like Girls because I'm a little insane sometimes

~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging @tessabennet, @eyeofthemoose, @did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star, @random-jot, @skunkjagkh0e & everyone else who sees this and wants to do it!

[harleyacoincidence]

I was tagged by @lost-on-the-highway for a get-to-know-you tag game. The link to the (long, mind you) post chain is here.

Here is the format:

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

Here is my portion:

Name - You may call me Harley.

Pronouns - He/him, but it's not that big a deal. I'm fine with any.

Star sign - Aquarius (had to look it up).

# of siblings & fun facts about them - I do not have any siblings, unfortunately.

# of pets & their names - Sadly, I also do not have any pets. I wish I did. I'd love to get a cat.

Fandoms - Star Trek, PJO, Mother, Pokémon, Cuphead: Don't Deal With the Devil, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Deltarune, D&D (not sure if this is technically a fandom, but oh well), Gravity Falls... There are probably more, but I've forgotten about them.

Favorite color - Lavender, easily.

Favorite song - Wonderland by Caravan Palace.

Favorite author - Honestly, I have quite a few, but my favourite author as of late has got to be Aziz (@aziz-reads on Tumblr). I'm on their taglists for a couple WIPs, and I couldn't be having a better time reading the snippets she provides. I definitely recommend checking out Rise of the Mantis (it's my favourite so far).

Hobbies - In my spare time, I make wire jewelry, work in my garden, read, write, and create odd scripts or videos for my close friends to enjoy.

Favorite fic type - Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Fics of this type give me better inspiration for my own than ones of other types, and I don't know why.

Favorite holiday - Halloween, hands down. But really, one shouldn't need an excuse to watch horror movies with friends or family.

Do you have any partner(s)? - I have a queerplatonic partner. I love them a whole lot, and couldn't ask for anyone better.

Fun facts - I started working on a certain analog horror series with someone before they knew my name. Completely by coincidence, they suggested giving one of the key characters my name. I've kept it, both because I find it hilarious to think I would survive for a second in the world the character is a part of, but also because I jokingly torment them about it. They're an excellent sport.

Tagging (with no pressure) @chauceryfairytales @voidismyhome @a-had-matter and anyone who would like to join!

[two-bit-socrates]

37 year old me traveling through time to give 14 year old me a bunch of zines and where to find my qpp just to cut through a lot of the bullshit and save myself some time for more fruitful endeavors.

The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

De Amore

My fic for @aceomenszine is finally available on AO3!

Aziraphale has come to Paris to find the answer to an important question: What's it like to be in love? Crowley's not sure why he wants to know, but he's willing to discuss it to make his angel happy. Full text below!

--

“What’s it like to be in love?”

Crowley stumbled to a stop on the Paris street, glaring at the angel beside him. Aziraphale stared straight ahead, walking with his usual expression: calm, poised, slightly arrogant. As if he were talking about the weather.

“Dunno. S’a human thing, isn’t it?” He scowled at a few gawking peasants, hurrying to catch up. “Romance. Lust. Sex. Nothing to do with us.”

“You could say the same of hunger, or exhaustion, or boredom.”

“Yeah, and I’d be right.” Crowley held out an arm to stop Aziraphale from walking directly into a produce cart. “Neither of us gets exhausted. You’re never tired, and I just like a good nap sometimes.”

“Really?” A flicker of that mocking bastard smirk. “How many nights did you sleep this past week?”

“Nrrg. Five or six, but that’s not the point.” They started walking again, Crowley tossing an apple he’d snuck from the cart. “I could stop if I wanted to — I’d miss it, but s’not the same as being tired. Same with you and eating.”

“But if I desire a food, so strongly I can already taste it, surely that’s…if not exactly hunger, a close approximation?”

“Don’t think so.” Crowley offered the apple, but Aziraphale shook his head. “Spend a couple days in the city, you’ll see what hunger looks like. S’not about pleasure or wanting a particular food. It’s need, desperation. And we just don’t experience that.” He tossed the apple towards a group of children, and a girl in a ragged dress caught it. “Boredom I’ll grant you. I’ve definitely been bored.”

“So, we might enjoy things as humans do, but never desire them the same way,” Aziraphale mused, smoothing his hands down the front of his stolen jacket. “But is love the longing for a connection with another, or the pleasure of that connection?”

“Doesn’t really make a difference to us, does it?”

He waited for Aziraphale to respond, but the angel simply continued walking, hands folded behind his back, eyes more distant than usual.

“So?” Crowley prodded after nearly a block in silence. “What brought this on?” Aziraphale shrugged. “Let me guess. Reading novels again? Sappy poetry? Getting…ideas?” He stepped ahead of Aziraphale and walked backwards, to ensure the angel saw his suggestive eyebrow wiggle. No response. Crowley shrugged, falling back into step. “Look, f’you want to try falling in love with a human, s’your business. Let me know how it goes. Just do it back in London, I don’t need that…drama getting back to my bosses.”

“That’s not it,” Aziraphale snapped, wringing his hands. “It’s not — it doesn’t even work that way, Crowley. Humans don’t just decide to fall in love!”

“They don’t cross an ocean and charge through a revolution for a snack, either.”

“Oh, never mind. Clearly you’re the expert here.” Aziraphale froze, glaring at a shop just ahead, and threw his hands up in disgust. “And now they’ve closed my favorite creperie! Why do I even bother? Might as well return to England and feast upon whatever lumpy brown bread the first tavern I pass serves.”

“Stop being dramatic,” Crowley hissed, turning down a side street and gesturing for Aziraphale to follow. “If you get locked up again, I’m not rescuing you a second time.” The angel’s lips twisted sourly. “Look, gourmet crepes aren’t really in demand right now, but I know a place. Might still be open.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

Crowley rolled his eyes and glared at the sky, thin grey clouds veiling the sun. He should probably just let Aziraphale stew in his own sullen displeasure. Might even give him an advantage — a distracted angel was easier to outsmart.

But Crowley hadn’t been in the business of thwarting Aziraphale for over a thousand years. Why oppose each other, when they could work…not together, but in tandem? Ensuring all their duties were fulfilled, their paperwork properly filed.

It was better this way. Less fuss all around, less inconvenience. Pleasanter conversation. More time for trips to the theater or quiet meals, either of which was a far better way to spend an evening than any sort of elaborate espionage.

He’d been looking forward to griping about his job over a mug of cider while Aziraphale worked his way through a plate of crepes, smiling and wiggling in his seat. Watching Aziraphale get excited over something was, in Crowley’s opinion, one of the best ways to pass the time.

Only the conversation had left Aziraphale annoyed, pouting and…Crowley studied him carefully, dark glasses imperfectly hiding his eyes. More than anything, Aziraphale looked hurt. A sight that always made Crowley’s stomach twist painfully.

He sighed, tossing back his head. “‘Love is an inborn suffering, proceeding from the sight and immoderate thought upon the beauty of another, for which cause above all other things one wishes to embrace the other and, by common assent, in this embrace to fulfil the commandments of love.’”[1]

“I beg your pardon?”

“Look, I don’t know. You asked me—!” Crowley walked faster, face growing hot. “It’s from some old treatise, right? Love, he says, is seeing someone beautiful and wanting sex. Then, when you have your fill…” he waved his hand vaguely.

“I see.” Aziraphale adjusted his sleeves. “I suppose that…makes sense.” But he still looked grim.

Up ahead, not quite along their path, stood one of Paris’s parks, gates now open to the public. Apart from some rubbish cluttering the entrance, it seemed well-maintained. Crowley tipped his head, inviting.

Aziraphale’s eyes lit up and he nodded, the first hint of a smile on his face. It always made Crowley feel light, that smile, however briefly it appeared.

They wandered in silence up the path, lined by trees here, flowerbeds there. Leaves had turned yellow and the grass was edged with brown, but the roses were still in bloom. Crowley paused to pluck a particularly well-formed bud.

As they crossed a bridge over a small watercourse, Aziraphale suddenly said, “Do you think it’s true, though? That — that treatise? Because it rather sounds like he didn’t see any difference between lust and love.”

“Mmh.” Crowley paused, gazing downstream, where a group of ducks swam contentedly. “As a demon? Yeah. Fits the party line. Humans don’t think of anything but their own pleasure, always wanting what they don’t have. Jealous, possessive, until something better comes along. Then it starts all over. If love and lust aren’t the same, well, they’re pretty close, right?”

“I see.” Aziraphale stepped beside him, holding out his red cap, now filled with grains of barley and cracked corn. They each took a handful and tossed it down. The ducks swam over eagerly, bobbing to catch the seeds before they drifted away.

“But as a being who’s been in the world nearly six thousand years?” Crowley threw another handful, then leaned against the railing, crossing his arms. “Not so sure. Humans do too much that can’t be explained by simple pleasure. Besides, I’ve seen what they do when overwhelmed by lust, and what they do when overwhelmed by love and…dunno. S’not the same.”

More handfuls of grains as a second group of ducks approached.

“What d’you think, Angel?” Crowley prodded. “Must be something in all those books you read.”

“Oh, quite a lot,” Aziraphale assured him. “Much of it contradictory. Many poets will only talk about their beloved’s face, or eyes, but if it were simply a matter of beauty, surely everyone would fall in love with the same beauties.”

“Sometimes they do.” Crowley rolled some seeds between his palms. “S’where the jealousy comes in. But yeah. Gotta be more to it than that.”

“I hope you’re not planning to make those poor ducks sink.”

“What? Nk — no. Course not.” He threw the grains down and the ducks quickly swarmed, turning bright shades of pink and blue and violet as they ate.

“Crowley.”

“Oh, it’s not hurting anyone.” He glanced sideways to see Aziraphale pressing his lips together, struggling not to smile. Grinning, Crowley tossed down more enchanted grains. “Go on then.”

“Hmm? Ah, yes. Well, the overall impression is that love is…transformative. Changes the way one thinks and feels at all times. They speak of, oh, the sun shining brighter, foods tasting sweeter, winter blossoming into summer. Metaphors. Others speak of — of attraction, quickened pulse, sudden heat and so on, but that’s a passing thing, part of a — a particular moment of closeness. Surely, no human could maintain such a state for an hour, never mind weeks or years!” Aziraphale offered Crowley the last handful of grain in his cap. “And once that moment passes…”

“Back to the metaphors.” The ducks below were now spotted, striped, every color of the rainbow. One bore pure white wings, beside another with midnight black. Aziraphale chuckled, very softly, which made Crowley feel immensely satisfied. Dusting off his hands, he circled the angel and continued walking.

“Yes,” Aziraphale hurried to catch up, cap twisting in his hands. “I get the sense that the feeling is so obvious, so…universal, they never think to describe it.”

“How inconsiderate.” Crowley thought it over. “So, flash of heat, racing heart, sun gets brighter, then ten pages about the color of their eyes? That about it?”

“I suppose so.” Aziraphale rubbed a finger across his lip. “Not always beauty, though. Some appear drawn by their partner’s clever mind, or acts of kindness. Some praise stories of bravery or great deeds, others fixate on meaningless symbols of wealth. But still, those only tell why one falls in love, not what it feels like.”

“Sounds like a sort of obsession.” Crowley furrowed his brow. “That treatise had a list of…sort of rules of love. Mostly about jealousy, really, don’t think the author thought much of women, but… ‘Every action of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.’”

“I see…so that, together or apart, one cannot help but think always of the other. That certainly aligns with the evidence.” He started to replace his cap, then paused, looking inside. “Anything else of use?”

“‘Love can deny nothing to love.’” Beside him, Aziraphale turned pink and a brilliant smile broke across his face, like the sun after a storm. He pulled from the cap the bright red rosebud Crowley had hidden within.

Crowley watched as Aziraphale slid the flower into his buttonhole, drinking in the way the delighted shiver ran across his shoulders. Then the angel looked up, hitting Crowley with the full force of his smile.

Stunning. Blinding. It stole Crowley’s breath away, wiped every thought from his mind.

One day, that smile would destroy him, and he wouldn’t mind at all.

“So, this creperie — are we close?”

“Ngh. Smh. Unh. Nearly. Another block or two.” The park’s gate stood just ahead, half shut, the bustling street beyond. Crowley quickly stepped ahead, pulling it open for Aziraphale. “You, ah, find the answer you needed?”

“I…think so, yes.” He rested his fingers on the gate — so close to Crowley’s he could feel their warmth — then quickly pulled away, folding his hands behind his back. “I’ve been trying to work out…well…whether I’m in love with you, Crowley.”

“Oh.” What was he supposed to say to that? “Oh.”

“Indeed.” Aziraphale’s eyes darted nervously and he began to pace. “I-I want you to know, I don’t desire you. I’ve never felt that sort of attraction. And I’m not jealous by any means. I’m not even certain who I’m meant to be jealous of. But…” He turned back, tugging his jacket. “I think of you. Constantly. Every action, every experience reminds me of you. I go to a concert, and I can’t concentrate on the music, only whether you would enjoy it. I hear a joke and I imagine how you would laugh, or roll your eyes, and I can’t know a moment’s peace until I’ve shared it with you. And last month…when I was reprimanded…for days afterward I could think of nothing but how I wished you were there. When I finally found the strength to venture out, it was only from my determination to come here.”

“For…crepes?” Crowley offered stupidly.

“No, you silly creature, for you.” He stepped forward, reaching up as if to straighten Crowley’s lapels, but once again his hands dropped. “I hear your voice and no matter how dark my situation — no matter how absurd you look in the current fashion — I just…feel happy again.”

Aziraphale took a deep breath and lifted his eyes — hopeful, fearful, vulnerable — to meet Crowley’s.

“Oh.” Something more was probably needed. “Yeah.”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.

“Well.” Aziraphale’s eyes dropped and he turned, trying to hide his expression. “Yes. I thought you should know.” He ducked his head and hurried through the gate. “Where — where is this creperie? We should try to arrive—”

“Me too.”

Crowley hadn’t meant to say anything. His mind was still ten minutes behind, struggling to catch up, but the pain on Aziraphale’s face hurt him like a blow to the chest.

The two words stopped Aziraphale in his tracks.

“I…I think about you, too.” Crowley stepped halfway through the gate, gripping the bar so tight it began to bend. “When I wake up, or fall asleep and…and away from you, here, I just…I miss you…but you — you idiot, with your crepes and your — your execution and…and then you smile and I just…” Blast! How could Aziraphale be so eloquent? Crowley swallowed and started over. “Look, m’trying to say…don’t think I can deny you anything. And. If that’s love…yeah. Me too.”

All this time, Aziraphale stood perfectly still, his back to Crowley. But now he turned, blue eyes furiously blinking. “That’s…ah…thank you. I know y-you hate being thanked but…” Aziraphale took one step closer, then another, until only inches separated them. “Thank you.”

“Nh.” He could so easily reach across that last bit of distance. Crowley didn’t know what that would accomplish, what he’d even do, but he wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything. “Now what?”

“I don’t know.” Aziraphale’s gaze fell. “It…doesn’t change anything, does it? You’re still a demon, and I’m—”

“I don’t care,” Crowley hissed, shocked at the fervor in his own voice. “We don’t need to play by their rules. We could — run off, or—”

“We can’t. Crowley, both our sides would — they’d find us, they’d destroy you.”

“I’m willing to risk it.” He reached for Aziraphale’s hand.

“I’m not.” The angel jerked back, putting more distance between them, eyes wide. “Crowley that’s — that’s not a chance I’m willing to take. I’m sorry, but no.”

“Fine,” Crowley growled, pulling away. “What do you want?”

“I want…” Aziraphale shut his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. “I want a shop in London, where I can surround myself with books and foods and everything I enjoy. I want my superiors to trust me, let me bring good into the world my own way, without sending me all over Creation at a moment’s notice and — and punishing me for a few miracles to make my life easier. I want us to go to plays and gardens and balls together, not for clandestine meetings but because we enjoy them. To be openly in each other’s company, without fear of reprisal. And…I’d like you to visit my shop and bring me flowers or sweets. I’d serve my very best wine and…we’d talk all night about…everything and nothing. And laugh together.” His eyes fluttered open and for the first time Aziraphale looked sure of himself. “I want what we already have. Only I want more of it.”

This time he didn’t move as Crowley reached out. Long fingers carefully adjusted the rosebud, standing it straighter in its buttonhole. “Yeah. I…I’d like that, too.”

“And you don’t want anything…physical?”

Crowley snorted. “M’not a human.” But he wondered if Aziraphale’s cheek was as soft as the rosebud’s petals. “I’d like to touch you. Your hand, your face. Your wings. Hear your voice as I fall asleep. Feel your fingers in my hair. Is that…too much?”

“No.” Aziraphale smiled gently. “That sounds perfect.”

“Maybe…” Crowley fidgeted with his glasses, shuffled his feet, but refused to step away. “If we’re careful…”

“The Arrangement is already dangerous enough. You must understand…”

Crowley closed his eyes. “I do. Nothing changes.” Except there were words now, to the feeling he had when he thought of his angel. And that changed everything. When he looked again, Aziraphale nodded, as if he felt the same.

“Right then.” Crowley circled around Aziraphale, sauntering back to the main road. “Let’s see if these crepes are worth risking the guillotine.”

“My dear fellow,” Aziraphale easily kept pace. “One bite of true Breton crepes will silence your doubts forever.”

“Breton, huh?”

“Oh, yes, far superior to any others.”

“If that’s so,” Crowley smirked, remembering Aziraphale in his cell, “s’a wonder you came to Paris. Particularly in such a…controversial outfit.”

“The city has…certain other attractions.”

Something warm and heavy wrapped across Crowley’s shoulders, invisible to his eyes, though he could feel the individual feathers tickle his neck. Aziraphale strolled beside him, hands clasped behind his back, eyes forward, as if nothing were amiss.

Carefully, trying to look natural, Crowley scratched his shoulder, brushing his knuckles down a long flight feather, softer than any mortal bird’s.

Aziraphale smiled ever so slightly and flexed his wing, holding Crowley a little more tightly. An embrace that no one could see, no one could know about, except them.

“Dunno,” Crowley said. “Still seems pretty risky.”

“Yes. But I’m an incorrigible old fool. Sometimes I can’t help myself.”

“Suppose I can understand,” Crowley said as he extended his own wing, wrapping it around Aziraphale’s waist. The angel’s composure broke as he wiggled, burying himself in invisible feathers. Crowley smiled, heat running through him, a warm spring day after a long cold winter. “After all, we’re not so different, you and I.”

[1] De Amore, Andreas Capellanus, c. 1190

So happy to finally share this!