#qiqiqtaq

[the-personiftranslator]

something something an eye for an eye i guess

qiqiqtaq is very cool

i should start using blackburn as a line brush i. like this

[the-personiftranslator]

that pouch in the amauti is meant to hold children not suminite ray guns but its close enough right

[the-personiftranslator]

top is an inuit amauti although you’d never find a pink one irl, hair & skin coloring from the nuprru. i do more research for references than google images for goddamn once IMAGINE

the eyepatch is an ancient countryhumans ancestral memory

[the-personiftranslator]

qiqiqtaq headcanons

she was actually born to human nuprru parents. the nuprru understanding of humans as having Souls correlated to a part of the natural environment works really well with personifs because qiqiqtaq’s Soul is just… her country. so she’s treated as a person by her nuprru. the majority of her population is descended from greenlandic inuit and i don’t know exactly how they’d see her, but my conception of personifs generally integrate well into animist belief systems for very obvious reasons, so her existence isn’t alarming.

puberty was literally kickstarted by the invention of radiators which i find funny. adulthood was either when she became independent or when she was accepted to the thothian council, it’s hard to tell.

she’s actually the personif of all of nuprruland but qiqiqtaq is the area she embodies the most… strongly? she’s trying to get back the rest of herself from andolont.

andolont gouged qiqiqtaq’s eye out with a knife during her rebellion and she intends to repay the favor.

suminite ray guns.

[the-personiftranslator]

okay so i vc’d with nalkan and tiff and was informed that my previous hcs about qiqiqtaq would not be accurate. so now i say

she was the daughter of a prominent nuprru chief immediately before the rebellion started and they collectively decided she’d be the one holding the Soul of the nation. because personifs conform to human belief she became the personif.

the child was. of course, a child so her control over her power wasn’t excellent and andolont sensed a very angry lower avatar fighting her presence the moment she stepped into nuprruland, so her time spent fighting the rebellion was really her trying to kidnap qiqiqtaq.

powered by the very intense exchange that comes with fighting, qiqiqtaq is growing up really fucking fast and she knows andolont’s looking for her. the two only meet a few times before she gains independence, the most notable one of course being the time andolont gouged out her eye.

qiqiqtaq sews the hair and fabric she was able to rip off of andolont into her boots to wear in her further attempts to gain control of more of nuprruland. as mentioned before she also pays her occupier back for the eye.

other assorted things include her wearing tank tops in the tundra in the dead of winter to spite everyone, her literally melting when her environment gets too far above her country’s temperature, and being more involved in her government than andolont and nuzudalban, who are married to their respective monarchs. being considered basically human helps a lot with that. she’s the only personif who regularly attends thothian council meetings (the others only go when it’s incredibly important or their leaders order them to).

everyone in the anti andolont coalition treats her like a little sister.

i think she’s very cautious and reluctant to change because in the environment she grew up in innovating the wrong way or making one mistake could lead to death, and very involved in both inuit and nuprru traditions for the same reason. she’s a bit scornful of most down south. down to business and down to earth but not blunt.

[the-personiftranslator]

sketches of qiqiqtaq wearing tunumiutuut and kalaallisut (east & west greenlandic clothing). turns out greenlandic inuit are like the one major inuit group that doesnt really wear amautis so big big fuck up on my part there

there should be another embroidery section on the boots of the second picture but i kinda lost my shit after the bead collar

[the-personiftranslator]

ultimate nationalism incorrect quotes

Andolont: Haraldr and I got married!! Qiqiqtaq: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.

Andolont: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Haraldr: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Haraldr: We have to apologize to them, Andolont. Andolont: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me seem like a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Ny Norgrimark: Why is Andolont crying on the floor? Varholt: She’s drunk. Ny Norgrimark: And? Varholt: She saw a picture of Haraldr’s wife. Ny Norgrimark: But she’s Haraldr’s wife. Varholt: I know.

Andolont: Hey, Haraldr, what do you think it would be like if we had kids? Haraldr: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly. Andolont: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it? Haraldr: Can't really say I have. Andolont: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes. Haraldr: Sorry, Andolont. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringing up anybody.

Varholt: So, you’re Andolont’s king now? Haraldr: Yes. Varholt: Why? Andolont: I happen to find him very appealing. Varholt: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Haraldr.

[the-personiftranslator]

other things implied by the joke statistics:

-antipoda has only won 2 fights with uusivapaamaa in the last 250 years. it says fights in general and not with uusivapaamaa specifically but who else is antipoda fighting

-uusivapaamaa has a pet baochaud

-akkaradamia’s english isn’t as good as she thinks it is

-qiqiqtaq is the only gay person in qiqiqtaq

-hlyttland regularly breaks into andolont’s house

-olanorhukuh is incomprehensible when he’s tired (no official language means he switches between all of them randomly when not paying attention)

-policele has made discrimination against hungarians a business

-ujkey sziget experiences literal executive dysfunction

-qadoshorea dies regularly

-nieuw terschelling hates going outside

-kinin and ininik are both responsible for a concerning amount of Whisperers (not with each other they’re siblings)

-kam’ij will take like two weeks’ worth of wages from someone for speaking swedish (someone else on btiwcord made this observation)

-gudridarstrond is afraid of hats

-yllymaq’m is compensating for something

-alawidshar interferes in elections

-nuevas baleares quite literally needs attention to survive

-barbadicane has a shopping addiction

-nuzudalban is both somebody’s grandmother and daughter-in-law

-makamazuh is literally half the woman she used to be

-karathqel called her husband a banana at least once

-newly born babies in qeltramarr are unionized instantly

-fauchaitie talks about fashion the way el salvador and honduras talk about soccer

-rowmansland’s love language is exporting oysters

-mundaberria has a 2.6% colonization success rate

[the-personiftranslator]

andolont headcanons (made with help of the server, mostly nalkan and tiff)

her flag is on nearly every single piece of clothing she owns

she refers to herself as lady andolont. not a single other person does this. she does not tolerate nicknames except mundaberria is allowed to call her ann because she is too scared to fight him

he is also the only guy on the continent who can outdrink her. so

(she hasnt drunk water in years)

she lost her leg when varholt dipped and has gray streaks from the collective war against her

she kept hlyttland in her basement for most of the time before his independence and he has bitten her multiple times

no matter the weather she will be wearing either a long coat or a dress. this is both because she is self conscious about the leg and because unless it’s the summertime for her everywhere feels extremely cold (in contrast to qiqiqtaq who walks around with a tank top in the dead of winter)

she does have a prosthetic but she finds it incredibly uncomfortable

in the good ending she drinks so much on the day of victory against the reptilians that her country runs out of alcohol

the other people in the zerzurian alliance are the closest things she has to friends. they do poker on thursdays and she almost never wins because she’s always drunk and slightly high (being around zerzura does that)

mundaberria actively encourages this (he or zerzura usually win)

she was even skrunklier before she married haraldr but having exchange with him has helped quite a bit (he boosts her ego). its only a temporary solution though

speaking of egos. yeah. she has one. she does not think she is in the wrong for anything she has done and she considers herself a grieving mother instead of an abusive one who forcibly adopted, in many cases, personifs who were already grown ass adults. if given the chance she will wax on about how much she misses them

(zerzura’s kind of in the odd position of being both one of her kids’s drug dealers and also the guy she ends up venting a lot to)

she legitimately makes banger music if you ignore the lyrics

chronic pain in her back and leg due to the fact she’s basically hopping everywhere (she has crutches and she uses them in private but the most she’ll do in public is haraldr’s cane)

[the-personiftranslator]

more btiw incorrect quotes because i cant find my ipad (ft. natalia nielsen)

zerzura, to gudridarstrond: I promise the only reason I’m friends with her is that she told me she was the HIGH Kingdom of Andolont.

haraldr: how many children do you have? andolont: biologically, legally, or emotionally? because there IS a difference.

apisia: you know what? apisia: when i joined this friend group, i thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit. *zerzura, gudridarstrond, and andolont continue screaming about mold water* apisia: not the other way around. zerzura: I DUNNO, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO DRINK THE MOLD WATER!

andolont: if i fall… haraldr: i’ll be there to catch you. rowmansland: *looks at hakensaqi* what if i fall? hakensaqi: then i’ll fall with you, never leaving your side. apisia: *watches these two interactions* apisia, to zerzura: and what if i fall? zerzura: i’ll be the one who pushed you.

haraldr: you drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. andolont: … haraldr: you are everything i’ve ever wanted in a wife.

apisia: we need a plan to beat the reptilians. zerzura: okay, listen up. first, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. apisia: zerzura: judge me all you want, i get results.

qiqiqtaq, wearing shades and a tank top: Rule one of destroying the world. qiqiqtaq: does finger guns You gotta look good while doing it.

ny norgrimark: I am ny norgrimark, I speak for the trees. Chop mine down and I snap your knees.

varholt: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, kuft-alum is walking in this room. kuft-alum: wheeze

Shapeshifter: transforms to look like Andolont Andolont: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and Haraldr tells me I'm a constant 10.

natalia: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

gudridarstrond: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”. ny norgrimark: looks over at apisia and zerzura ny norgrimark: Is it “sexual tension”?

fauchaïte: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

natalia: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Computer: Please enter a password. haraldr: types in andolont Computer: Your password is too weak. haraldr: How fucking DARE YOU-

ny norgrimark: Where's Haraldr? natalia: Don't worry, I'll find him. natalia, shouting: Andolont sucks! haraldr, distantly: Andolont is the best country ever! Fuck you! natalia: Found him.

zerzura: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities. apisia, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

natalia: shoves her hand in the slot of a toaster andolont: … natalia: …I get confused sometimes. andolont: Me too.

andolont: I wasn’t that drunk. haraldr: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. andolont: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

natalia: I was put on this earth to do one thing. natalia: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

andolont: What is wrong with you? varholt: Many, many things… varholt: And most of them are your fucking fault.

andolont: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

[the-personiftranslator]

stuff involving btiwspirit bodies:

-i still stand by haraldr having served andolont’s leg at a state dinner

-antipoda definitely uses her own blood for alchemy purposes and is trying to get her hands on uusivapaamaa’s

-ny norgrimark’s hair turns into wood chips when cut. varholt’s turns into wheat of varying stages of growth depending on the time of year, so she schedules her annual haircut for the harvesting season

-the amount of white in qiqiqtaq’s hair is steadily decreasing due to global warming

-zerzuranism is made possible through hallucinogen-induced empathy and personif bodies can serve as drugs under the right circumstances which means zerzuran and gudridarstrondisk officials are probably required to drink their respective countryspirits’ blood

-for whump reasons i imagine qadoshorea’s regularly sacrificed by her priests even if she’s older than the typical fodder

-karathqel’s nail clippings and strands of her hair are given to melkarthian pilgrims as tokens of their journey. baalsarif’s as well, for followers of the ma’alik faith

[the-personiftranslator]

aac found family incorrect quotes

Inupuri: I'm trying to juggle family life and work life but I can't seem to find a balance. What do you suggest I do to keep everyone happy? Hlyttland, deadpan: Quit your job, kill your family.

Olanorhukuh: Ny Norgrimark, I’m afraid. Ny Norgrimark: Just stay close to Varholt. Olanorhukuh: That's why I’m afraid.

Ny Norgrimark and Gudridarstrond: making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other Thothian Council: Inupuri, exasperatedly: We have a guest.

Varholt: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails. Hlyttland: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

Varholt, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Yechusta, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Kuft-Alum, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Kam’ij, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Ny Norgrimark: Kam’ij, I sense hostility. Kam’ij: Good, because I hate you.

Policele: You're pathetic! Ujkey-Sziget: You're pathetic-er! Olanorhukuh: You're both losers.

Ujkey-Sziget: I hate Policele. Inupuri: Don’t say hate. That is a mean word. Ujkey-Sziget: Fine, I LOATHE Policele.

Kuft-Alum: We need a plan to beat Andolont. Gudridarstrond: Okay, listen up. First, we fill her shoes with wet cat food. Varholt: Gudridarstrond: Judge me all you want, I get results.

Varholt: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so instead I have Kuft-Alum periodically send me texts saying ‘we need to talk.’ Varholt: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

Oumukuay: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Varholt: Literally or figuratively? Oumukuay: I have to specify?

Qiqiqtaq: Guys, Andolont is missing. Everyone else: Good.

Thothian Council: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Inupuri, watching Hlyttland screaming, Kam’ij trying to set a sleeping Ny Norgrimark on fire, and Ujkey-Sziget choking on air: I don't know either.

Ny Norgrimark: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Olanorhukuh: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically. Hlyttland: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes. Gudridarstrond: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting. Hlyttland: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Noul Ardeal: Can I get a waffle? Andolont and Olanorhukuh: fighting and yelling at each other Noul Ardeal: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

Oumukuay: But what about Varholt? Kuft-Alum: Don't worry about her. Kuft-Alum: I once watched her fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating her hotdog like nothing happened.

when a child starts crying in public Olanorhukuh: tries to make the child laugh Inupuri: tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down Qiqiqtaq: gives detailed instructions to the parents Oumukuay: cries with the child Gudridarstrond: ignores the child Hlyttland: is the reason why the child is crying

Ny Norgrimark: I ran into Qiqiqtaq in the kitchen at 1 AM last night and when I asked her what she was doing, she just shrugged, said “these are my roaming hours,” and wandered off, stroking her ray gun vaguely.

Varholt: You know, I used to play back in my gory days. Ny Norgrimark: You mean glory days? Varholt: Ah, that too.

Andolont: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?! Ny Norgrimark: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Qadoshorea: You seem familiar… have I threatened you before?

Varholt: Why would you think any of this was a good idea? Hlyttland: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. Varholt: Hlyttland: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

Andolont: I know what you're up to. Olanorhukuh: Really? Because I barely know.

While the AAC is in a battle Varholt, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Gudridarstrond: Take it back now y'all!

Olanorhukuh: What do you guys do when you're stressed? Inupuri: Try and calm myself down! Gudridarstrond: Sleep. Ujkey-Sziget: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. Varholt: I don't.

Gudridarstrond: I am 39 cheetos tall. Inupuri: Why… are you measuring your height in cheetos? Gudridarstrond: Because we're out of doritos.

Varholt: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me? Ny Norgrimark: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Inupuri: I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you here today. It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room. Kam’ij: Why did you say that so vaguely? Ny Norgrimark and I are literally the only people you called in here.

Varholt: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

The gang's thoughts on stabbing Gudridarstrond: Would never stab anyone. Oumukuay: Would stab someone in retaliation. Hlyttland: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first. Kuft-Alum: Would stab without warning. Varholt: Would stab as a warning.

Varholt: Last week, Gudridarstrond tried to flush a live lobster down the toilet "because it worked for Nemo".

Andolont: I have an army. Gudridarstrond: We have a Varholt.

Gudridarstrond: Varholt is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in her entire life! Kam’ij: Never done anything wrong?! She set a city block on FIRE!

Kam’ij, staring lovingly at Kuft-Alum: I would die for you. Kuft-Alum, doing her own thing: Then perish.

[the-personiftranslator]

anti andolont coalition incorrect quotes

Qiqiqtaq: who’s in charge here? Ny Norgrimark, shrugging: usually whoever yells the loudest.

Ny Norgrimark: Andolont doesn’t deserve you. Ny Norgrimark: If she doesn’t treat you right by now, you're gone. Varholt: I'm gone. Ny Norgrimark: Now go chop her leg off!

Thothian Council: I haven't seen Hlyttland and Qadoshorea for fifteen minutes now. Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Hlyttland and Qadoshorea running after it in a panic. The Council doesn't look outside at all. Thothian Council: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

Kuft-Alum, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume? Gudridarstrond: grabs and chugs the entire bottle Gudridarstrond: Gudridarstrond: It's perfume.

Thothian Council: You need a hobby. Hlyttland: I have a hobby! Thothian Council: Hitting Andolont isn't a hobby.

Oumukuay: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag. Inupuri: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.

Kam’ij: Comparing me to Ny Norgrimark is like comparing apples and oranges. Ny Norgrimark: We’re both unique in our own ways? Kam’ij: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated. Ny Norgrimark: In that case, you’re the orange.

Thothian Council: You kidnapped an Andolonsk civilian?! That’s illegal! Hlyttland: But, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing them, or giving up on our hopes and dreams? Thothian Council: Kidnapping Andolonsk civilians, Hlyttland! Qadoshorea: Council, listen. However I feel about this, these guys are counting on you to inspire them! Thothian Council: What, to kidnap people? Qadoshorea: To work together! Thothian Council: To kidnap people?! Hlyttland: Council, we’ve all agreed that the Andolonsk are not people.

Olanorhukuh: aggressively throws pencil at Noul Ardeal Noul Ardeal, deadpan: Oh no. I’ve been stabbed. I’ve been impaled.

Yechusta: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- Andolont: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Ujkey-Sziget, drowning: Help! Policele: Don't worry, I heard cowards float.

[the-personiftranslator]

vivid image in my mind of haraldr wrapping andolont’s stump after qiqiqtaq leaves. but the pose + expression would be an absolute nightmare