#andolont

[thisisnalkan]

The Average Andolont Experience

[the-personiftranslator]

something something an eye for an eye i guess

qiqiqtaq is very cool

i should start using blackburn as a line brush i. like this

[the-personiftranslator]

anti nwo poker game. also known as zerzurian alliance poker game. left to right andolont (<3) zerzura apisia mundaberria

mundaberria is winning. andolont is losing

[thisisnalkan]

Fuck Andolont and it's Thothian bitch ass. Scandinavia died in the Mudflood and your sorry ass still kept larping it up until 2057. You ran their empire into the ground in only a century and then you shat yourself because you couldn't handle the minorities you conquered because you had no friends. This is why you don't conquer anyone with even a smidgen of Nogri population. You aren't going to fucking survive with 80 billion fucking ethnic groups in you. You're the reason Olanorhukuh united and they were literally the Balkans imported to an island with natives already living on it. How do you be so fucking aggressive that you make the Balkan stop fighting each other and form a functioning state. You can't even keep your islands filled with frozen tundra under control. The Nuprru are kicking your ass with alien weaponry they found under the ice. You're going to be cut in half again. You're going to be an eighth of the empire you once were. Fuck Andolont, you're a shitty ass country. Mundaberria is way fucking cooler than you.

[the-personiftranslator]

Beep.

Natalia opens her eyes. Vaguely, she feels her muscles working against the broken-glass feeling of the shattered cornea.

Beep.

The anesthetic they’re pumping into her pushes it further back, until all there is is an itchy tingle when she tries to survey her surroundings.

Beep.

The white walls around her carry words she struggles to understand. The machines are attached to the same parts of her as they were when she blacked out earlier, and her flesh twinges against the same needles inside it every time she shifts. Her vision is like—well, it quite literally is—seeing through broken glass, but she’s certain they haven’t taken her back. If she could, she’d fall back onto her bed in relief.

Beep.

Her body tries to jerk and one of the needles sends something paralytic and soothing into her veins. The relief deepens when she understands that they do.

Beep.

There will be no more sleepless nights if they understand, no bleeding fingers from clicking shutters and no visits from Andolont, whose exchange wraps around her neck and wrists like barbed-wire collar. If they understand, they will cut her open and keep her guarded, but they will be honest about their intentions, which is far more than she could hope for in Frabaer.

[the-personiftranslator]

qiqiqtaq headcanons

she was actually born to human nuprru parents. the nuprru understanding of humans as having Souls correlated to a part of the natural environment works really well with personifs because qiqiqtaq’s Soul is just… her country. so she’s treated as a person by her nuprru. the majority of her population is descended from greenlandic inuit and i don’t know exactly how they’d see her, but my conception of personifs generally integrate well into animist belief systems for very obvious reasons, so her existence isn’t alarming.

puberty was literally kickstarted by the invention of radiators which i find funny. adulthood was either when she became independent or when she was accepted to the thothian council, it’s hard to tell.

she’s actually the personif of all of nuprruland but qiqiqtaq is the area she embodies the most… strongly? she’s trying to get back the rest of herself from andolont.

andolont gouged qiqiqtaq’s eye out with a knife during her rebellion and she intends to repay the favor.

suminite ray guns.

[the-personiftranslator]

incorrect quotes btiw edition

Zerzura: Do crabs think people walk sideways? Mundaberria: …Zerzura, what the hell.

Andolont: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? Varholt: All the time. Andolont: Then you should be used to it by now.

Ny Norgrimark: Come on, Kam’ij! How many times do I have to apologize? Kam’ij: Once! Ny Norgrimark: …No.

Zerzura: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited. Gudridarstrond: "If" Andolont: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and he might not even die.

Ny Norgrimark: We should normalize not loving family members. Varholt: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck aunt” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!

Andolont: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Varholt, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Zerzura: Hold on! I’m having one of those things… a headache with pictures. Apisia: What the fuck? Gudridarstrond: They’re having an idea.

Varholt: Would you slap Andolont- Kuft-Alum: Yes. Varholt: I didn't even finish! Kuft-Alum: Sorry, continue. Varholt: Would you slap Andolont for 10 dollars? Kuft-Alum: I would do it for free. Andolont: Rude…

Prussia: The first time Zerzura opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside they yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

Hlyttland: Go to hell! Zerzura: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

Zerzura, Andolont, and Mundaberria are playing poker. Zerzura is winning by a long shot. Mundaberria: Aw, come on. Andolont: It’s not fair! He doesn’t even know what we’re playing! Zerzura: Go Fish?

Rowmansland: Laughs Babe, you had a crush on me? That’s embarrassing— Hakensaqi: We’re married.

Hlyttland: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held. Thothian Council: Are you okay.

Apisia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan. Zerzura: We could attack the Reptilians with hummus. Apisia: I stand corrected. Zerzura: Just keeping things in perspective.

Thothian Council: What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Hlyttland: Take them! Qadoshorea: Punch them in the neck! Gudridarstrond: Say thank you! Zerzura: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance! Thothian Council: … Thothian Council: No. Zerzura, how did you even get in here?

Andolont: Hold the fuck up. Haraldr: Excuse me? Andolont: I said hold the fuck up. Haraldr: Andolont: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

Ny Norgrimark: Will Varholt be okay? Andolont: She won’t be when I find her.

Varholt: Self-care is repressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 large tractors.

Andolont, post-Final Hyperwar: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Haraldr: How are you today? Andolont: Please don’t make me think about my life.

[the-personiftranslator]

THE BEST PART OF THE ANDOLONT HYPERFIXATION IS THAT MY OLD HYPERFIXATION MADE ME CUT MYSELF AND THIS ONE DOESNT AND SHE MIGHT HAVE SAVED MY LIFE IM NOT GONNA LIE

[the-personiftranslator]

call me a fucking atlas continent the way me fixating on extremely powerful groups of fictional people who got their asses kicked is a theme. i need to fidget and then go to bed before i say anything else stupid

[the-personiftranslator]

this has been sitting in my wip folder for like a month so i may as well give it to the world

og image under cut

[the-personiftranslator]

do you KNOW how hard it is for me to stay sfw when im talking about varholt do you KNOW

[the-personiftranslator]

varholt’s dad didn’t actually want her to become part of him i think. if the majority of the andolonsk agreed with þorfinnson’s family’s assessment that sumraland would be too difficult to control when he was struggling to govern the lands he already had. the avatar was not in good health and immaterial half the time and convinced his daughter would be a burden he couldn’t afford.

also sorry chat i’m going to have to retcon the mtf varholt thing that i was playing with in fanon it fucks with too much of my existing lore and also grammatical gender stuff.

am also considering breaking the family relation between the pre-empire andolonsk kingdom and varholt because having them be the parents of the 1st andolonsk empire emphasizes the role of sumraland in creating that empire, but that would fuck with every other relation in the norgri family and modern-day andolont needs to be in the same generation as norway sweden and denmark. i don’t have my family tree on hand. idk more at 5

[the-personiftranslator]

drawing rn genuinely feels incredible. the lines land where i want them to land and andolont comes out just as skrunkly as i intend her. life is good but please would brain let me take pleasure in doing anything else

[the-personiftranslator]

varholt and andolont headcanons:

varholt is andolont’s biological sister, chronologically older but physically younger, and representative of the varholtsk people before she became one of the four kingdoms in the andolont succession crisis that led to her sister’s collapse.

andolont and their father usually spent the winter in sumraland, on varholt’s future territory, and she always dreaded that.

andolont… showed her off? like varholt (as the norgri part of sumraland pre-independence) was the territory she was most proud of. basically the golden child, literally (breadbasket—wheat probably grown) and figuratively. andolont was ashamed of varholt’s foshayti features and mannerisms—as her closest relative and norgri from the start her critique wasn’t as severe and she wasn’t punished harshly as long as she stayed loyal, but their closeness and the sheer amount of time they spent together meant it got much deeper under varholt’s skin. she never chose what she wore for important events.

when andolont was little their father entrusted her defense and general care to varholt. depending on how permissible it is for someone to breastfeed a younger sibling, either varholt or a varholtsk woman was andolont’s wet nurse, for the breadbasket metaphor. also since andolont doesn’t exactly have a mother.

varholt’s blood relation to the andolonsk meant she wasn’t as upset by their rule as peoples who they’d completely subjugated, but her opinion of them was not always high. especially since she saw andolont in all of her least flattering moments as her caretaker and found it difficult to take her seriously as a ruler. andolont did genuinely love her, but from the beginning it was clear it was only because of what varholt did for her and very much conditional.

andolont went absolutely apeshit when she declared independence, and it feels like a tragedy on both sides because she was the territory andolont felt she could always trust to stay, but also varholt had war crimes committed against her. they are not on speaking terms. andolont keeps a lock of her hair in a box under her bed. varholt had a lock of andolont’s hair from when she was a baby but she threw that out.

andolont, ironically, thinks she was too soft on varholt while she was loyal.

[the-personiftranslator]

i had a VIVID dream last night about there being an andolont rp blog and i got so excited i nearly woke myself up

[the-personiftranslator]

i also need all of you to know that andolont is also fanonically married to her current king now but ill be posting that picture tomorrow since it has not been peer reviewed (besides by nalkan)

she sparks some strange and oddly aggressive emotion in me that i can only communicate with the word ‘skrunkly’. shes a war criminal. shes a former empire who has not gotten off her high horse. every single one of her neighbors is part of her hater club. i want to squeeze her in my hands.