#putting this one here too bc i like the vibes this very sudden au has

[sashabarkov]

to brave the storm-dark sea

for a kiss prompt (a kiss to give up control) from @theleakypen on twitter

Wei Wuxian sneaks into the settlement at Gaoshandao under cover of the last hour of darkness, stowing his tiny boat in one of the rocky northeastern coves. He isn’t supposed be there. He isn’t supposed to be able to get there; that was the whole point of settling the Wens out on this remote island, where the only points of arrival are by sword or boat. The only official visitors to Gaoshandao are the disciples sent by the sects once a month to check in with the settlement.

Well. Sometimes Madam Jin visits too. But she’s only there to see her son, and she pointedly ignores the rest of the settlement as she tries to convince Jin Zixuan to return to lanling, so Wei Wuxian thinks she shouldn’t really count.

There’s a path carved into the cliffs in this cove, steep and narrow enough to overlook if you don’t already know of it. The official visitors dock on the south beach, but Wei Wuxian has to navigate that treacherous path, dodging bird nests the whole way. He slips into the settlement and makes his way to the house closest to the dock, where the door is unlocked for him.

Jin Zixuan is still in bed, although he looks up and murmurs a drowsy hello when the door slides open. That hello turns into something more awake when Wei Wuxian crosses the room without a word and collapses onto the bed, burying his face in Jin Zixuan’s shoulder.

“That bad, huh?” Jin Zixuan asks, patting Wei Wuxian’s back.

Wei Wuxian groans into the silk of Jin Zixuan’s robes and then moves his head sideways a little to mouth at Jin Zixuan’s collarbone. Now that he’s here, he can stop trying to ignore the furious thrum of resentment slicing through him, cold and demanding against his bones. It’s built up pretty significantly since he was last here, and he needs a little time outside of his own head, a little time with someone else in control, to settle him into his skin again.

“Want some quiet time?” Jin Zixuan hums.

Wei Wuxian nods and kisses a line up to the corner of Jin Zixuan’s jaw. It’s okay. He can trust Jin Zixuan to take control.

He isn’t being naive about this. He knows that Jin Zixuan didn’t ruin his whole future and reputation for him, or for any of the Wen remnants except one. He knows that Jin Zixuan had really only been thinking of A-Tao back then, when he’d stood before the world and stammered out the biggest lie of his life, claiming his infant half-sister as his own child. But they’re allies now, and a lot less reluctantly so than they were when the resettlement negotiations were first beginning, so Wei Wuxian also knows that when he’s in need like this, Jin Zixuan will help him out.

“Alright,” Jin Zixuan says, and his voice swings sharp enough that if Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to look for by now, he’d miss the care and worry underneath that haughty tone. “Go take A-Tao over to Wen-popo, and give me a little time to wake up first. Then we can get started.”

[slightlymore]

oh no, mr suh, please don't spank me

johnny x fem reader

cameo: taeyong

genre: !!smut!!, roommates au, fake enemies to lovers, a little tiny fluffy angst bc it's my brand apparently

warnings: a lot of mutual teasing, finger sucking, sexting, solo f and m, spanking, marking, dry humping, hand job, fingering, slight cum play, not protected, overstimulation f and m, multiple orgasms, penetration, manhandling, oral m and f, tiny degradation (sparse use of ‘little slut’), rough

words: 7K

it’s finally here!! this one is very juicy haha good luck I guess :) keep your panties dry challenge

taglist: @comically-sleep-deprived​ @strawberrymilkandcigarettes​ @theworld-accordingtocasey​ @kibumingi​

_____

"Johnny, get lost." 

You raised your eyes to meet Johnny's peaceful face in the middle of the corridor, one of them still twitching for waking up so early. 

He smirked and didn't move. 

You made a step on the right. 

He did the same. 

"John," you made a step on the left. 

His body kept blocking your way. 

"Why? Are you busy?" His voice was deep and thick like honey and in other circumstances you would have wanted to listen to it forever. But that morning you woke up without a single ounce of patience. 

You sighed and rolled your eyes. "Yes, unlike you." 

"I'm also busy."

"Oh yeah? Doing what?" 

"Getting between your legs."

In spite of everything, you couldn't help but snort once. 

He has been playing that game for weeks now. A little touch here, a little compliment there, but it was the first time to see him this pushy. 

"I told you that I don't want to sleep with my roommates," you walked around him, teasingly hitting his shoulder with yours. 

You weren't surprised to feel his fingers wrap your arm and turn you around. 

"You don't have to sleep with me. I can sleep well on my own. I need you awake."

Johnny let his palm dance on your skin until it got to your throat, his thumb rising slowly and caressing your lips. You gulped and looked down at his hand before locking eyes with him again. 

"You know what I mean," your breath and moving mouth tickled his finger and the twinkle in the man's eyes amused you. You were about to add something else but decided to do something instead - giving him new ideas to continue jerking off to later, since his dick will still be dry for a long time. 

But when you softly pulled his thumb into your mouth, you didn't expect to be the first to get that excited. 

Johnny let out the ghost of a sigh, staring at the way your pursed lips dragged around his skin, the softness of your tongue licking the tip after giving it a good suck. 

"Hm. Knew you were a little slut." 

You chuckled and raised your hands to press them on his chest and push him away before turning around with the intent of leaving him hot and bothered. 

But he was quicker. In a second your wrists were blocked by his strong fingers and his head was shaking. 

"No touching."

You narrowed your eyes amused. 

"Oh yeah? And what should I do for you to let me touch you?" 

His fingers intertwined with yours and if he didn't have that lustful expression on, the gesture would have been almost sweet. 

"Beg?" 

You opened your mouth in a slightly surprised o. 

"Me? Beg? I don't beg." 

Johnny let go of your hands with a smirk and ghosted your chest until getting to the hem of the oversized t-shirt you wore to bed. 

"Stop me," he whispered but all of a sudden you couldn't concentrate on forming words and frankly, you realized you didn’t want to either. 

So he knelt in front of you and slipped his fingers underneath the fabric, revealing your thighs and underwear, pushing it up until exposing your stomach. His breath tickled your skin first then you felt his lips, and when he placed the first kiss you got goosebumps all over your body. Johnny chuckled slowly and palmed your legs as if getting rid of the bumps but it only added to the heightening sensation his mouth was building up. And when he took out the tongue, circling your belly button, you breathed in deeply and grabbed his hair. He liked it since a pleasant grunt formed on his lips, which were going down until meeting the cotton of the underwear, then on one side, tackling your hip with slow kisses. 

Right when you were about to close your eyes and moan, you suddenly couldn't feel Johnny's lips on you anymore. You stared down just to see his annoying smirk, his locks still in your hand and his eyebrow raised upon seeing the little wet patch formed on your panties. 

He got up with a swift movement as if he had finished with all of his to-do list for the day and smiled. 

"I'll go make breakfast," he announced and walked around you whistling.

_____

Said breakfast was being consumed in silence. 

You had to change your underwear because the situation between your legs got too much out of control and when you came back Johnny already made coffee and pancakes. With little glances at his face you wondered how come he was that calm and, the most important thing, how come there was no tent in his gray sweatpants. 

Did he really think he could start a war and win? You scoffed while angrily munching on the last pieces of pancakes. 

"You okay?" he licked his lips after finishing his coffee. 

"Of course," you replied dryly, standing up and grabbing your plate directed towards the kitchen like a tornado. 

"Your vibes are kinda dark though?" he raised his voice for you to be able to hear over the clanging of dishes. 

"Mind your own business," you came back, the violent shift of air as you passed near him almost making his hair swoosh. 

_____

Tight clothes? No, more. Lingerie? Uh uh, more. Naked? Maybe too much. Towel? Fuck yeah, towel. 

Lips juicy, eyes glowing, and the plan was rolling as you stood inside the bathroom, grinning at yourself in the mirror, hands virtually rubbing against each other while physically they were wrapping your damp skin with the towel. 

Hidden behind a corner like a predator about to attack its prey, you waited to hear Johnny's steps coming towards the bedrooms. A little noise, calm and deep, arrived to your ears first. One step forward and the collusion was perfect. 

"Oh, sorry!" you bumped into him, the fabric shifting on your breasts, your fingers prudishly trying to cover yourself and - oops - failing. With hands pressed on your chest, the swell of it was even more visible now, the last drops of water shining on the skin and falling slowly inside the cleavage. 

Johnny remained silent, not even a tiny ‘sorry’ escaping his lips, his eyes completely trained on your body. Then, when you were already tasting the victory on your tongue, he suddenly looked behind you as if not wanting to look anymore. 

You shifted your weight from one foot to another, waiting for a more grand reaction but Johnny kept on a composed face. 

After a few seconds of silence, you were about to leave, lower lip between your teeth as your plan didn't make him go rogue. 

But then he whispered something under his breath and when you least expected it, he pushed you against the wall. The air got knocked out of your lungs making you breathless.  "You like dangerous games?" 

His tone was delicious, lips so close to yours, and you absolutely wanted to drink it all in. And he was right. You did like dangerous games and you also liked to win. 

"Yeah. And revenge as well." You finally smiled as one of your fingers slowly dragged on his chest, smoothing the creases of his white t-shirt. "Am I making you feel some type of way, John?" 

The man scoffed, staring you down. "Not really." 

"You can't even look at me in the eyes though.”

"Eyes? Something else requires my attention now, baby girl." 

The instant delicious burst of pleasure of his hands cupping your now nude breasts and his thumbs circling your hard nipples made your knees buckle. The towel, slowly falling until stopping around your waist, was dangerously close to getting to your feet if Johnny's hips weren't pressed against yours. 

One step back and you'd be naked in front of him and that wasn't your plan at all. 

No, no, wait. You were supposed to make him feel things, not the contrary. 

Then why were you letting him touch you like that? 

"Are you sure you're doing this for me and not for yourself?" Johnny smiled at your light panting and twitching fingers, pressed on his arms. 

"Enough," you whined, mind already blurry, so close to beg him to take you like that against that same wall. 

Johnny stopped and took a step back, his hands quickly going to your hips preventing the towel from falling any further. 

"I don't have to say it since it's obvious. But I've won. Again." 

You pulled the white fluffy fabric from his fingers with a huff and stormed into your room, the echo of Johnny's chuckle ringing in the whole corridor. 

_____

Disastrous. 

You couldn't believe that you got that hot and bothered when Johnny should have been the one salivating and losing his mind inside his room. 

Throwing away the towel you looked around for your clothes when a buzz from the bed made your head turn. 

"Are you touching yourself?" read Johnny's text. You snorted. Unbelievable. 

You weren't going to touch yourself. No, sir. You already lost a second time. You weren't about to give Johnny that satisfaction as well. 

From You: and if I were?

From Johnny: thinking about me?

From You: you wish.

You laid down, face illuminated from the phone and fingers hovering over the screen, somewhat invested in the conversation. But just a little. 

From Johnny: come on. do it.

You rolled your eyes amused and changed his display name. 

From You: you first 

From Evil dick: hm, I love winning though.

From You: you talk a lot for someone that's fucking his fist right now :)

From Evil dick: is this what you're imagining?

From You: yeah 

Johnny read the text and didn't reply anymore. You could not prove that he was taking care of his stiffy but the thought of him doing so made you feel triumphant. Perhaps it wasn't a full win but you could give yourself half a point. Only half. 

Because when you put your phone down, you couldn't stop your hand from sliding between your legs either. 

_____

You needed at least one win. 

Just once, only once, you wanted to see Johnny's honey eyes tremble under your touch. 

And the corridor was your arena apparently since the next day another opportunity arose. Short and quick. 

You smiled at him exiting his room and he smiled back. His lips were about to part and probably ask if you enjoyed yourself the previous night but no sound came out of them as your fingertip gently caressed his chest. It was barely there, a slight touch going slowly down. 

His jaw muscles tightened when you reached his pants and he jolted when you pulled his belt towards you. 

"It was a little crooked," you feigned innocence, your knuckles definitely brushing something that made him inhale silently. 

"I'm making breakfast." You smiled and walked around him, leaving Johnny alone in the middle of the corridor just like he did the day before. 

_____ “That’s not a win.”

You threw your head back on the couch arm, looking at Johnny upside down, the popcorn kernel you were currently about to eat stopped against your lips. 

“That was a win,” you replied. 

The man put his hands on his hips. “You just touched my belt.” 

You chuckled. “Yeah. Apparently that’s enough for you to cum, baby boy.” 

Johnny’s cheeks rose in a tight smile as you licked the salt and butter from your fingers. The look in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed to you and you loved it. His gaze caressed your face and open lips, then your exposed throat and low cut t-shirt. You knew he loved that angle. Could you possibly get two wins on the same day? 

“Want some popcorn?” you asked, handing him one kernel. Johnny put his hands on the couch’s arm, bending his frame down and taking it with his teeth. You looked away nonchalantly as his lips touched your fingers, and you grabbed another kernel for yourself. 

But Johnny was quicker. 

One hand on your jaw, pushing your head back even more, he took it from between your lips in a spiderman kiss. 

You couldn’t breathe for a few seconds, mouth open and skin burning from where his lips touched it. 

When you locked eyes again, you noticed him munching with a little smile. Still hovering over you, a few strands of hair covering his eyes, he swallowed and whispered. 

“I win.” 

_____

“Oh, no, I’m not drinking.”

Taeyong looked at you with the cocktail glass in his hand as if you grew two heads. “Y/N not drinking?” 

“I can’t drink. I’m on duty.”

You were still sitting on the couch in a ball, eyebrows furrowed and concentrated eyes. 

Taeyong took a sip from his drink then shrugged and took a sip from the one he prepared for you too. 

“On duty for what?” he plopped near you making you wobble slightly to the side. 

“War.” 

“On Johnny?” Your head snapped towards his innocent eyes. “You know about it?” 

The boy chuckled. “Want me to give you a few tips?”

He smacked his lips and shifted his weight to be more comfortable, his lids dropping as if about to share some juicy secrets. 

You imitated his position and leaned in to hear better.

“Make him jealous with me.” You blinked in silence a few times then sighed, pushing Taeyong away. “Are you trying to get between my legs too, now?” 

The other continued chuckling. “It was worth the shot. You can try stuff like touching him randomly, then.” You huffed. “You think I’m a newbie?” 

Taeyong sipped from both of his drinks again. “Then what about making him believe he got you so you can attack when he feels powerful?” 

_____

"Oh, no. I have flour on my clothes."

The dough you were working was still sticky so you got a handful of flour that accidentally went on your bottoms right when Johnny made his appearance in the kitchen. 

He looked down and, indeed, noticed a light layer of dust covering your black leggings. 

“Could you please clean them up for me? These are my favourites,” you pouted at him.  

Johnny smiled and sighed, getting closer and slapping your butt once, then twice, then again, until all the flour was cleaned up. 

"There's no reason to be this aggressive, you know?” you bit your lower lip. 

"But you like it this way. Don't you?" 

Another spank and you mewled, the sound making Johnny hum in appreciation. 

“You’re all clean now.” He stepped back and presumably stared at your ass with the excuse of checking for some more flour. 

“I didn’t say you could stop,” you whispered and almost regretted - key word ‘almost’ - saying it as your flatmate approached you again, his sudden dark aura making your skin crawl. 

“You want me to continue?” his voice caressed your ear, his tone highly amused.  

You acted as if gathering the courage to confess that, yes, you wanted him to spank you but, oh no, you were so shy and he was so strong, you couldn’t do it like that and in public!!? oh no, you couldn’t take it. 

“N-no, it’s better if we stop here. I- I don’t think I can handle it. It will make me go crazy.”

Even if not seeing him in the face, you could almost physically sense Johnny’s puzzled aura. Laughing to yourself you wondered what kind of reaction he would come up with this time. 

He didn’t say anything for a few moments and when you were about to turn your head to check on him, you felt his chest on your back and he engulfed your body with his arms as he pressed his hands on the counter in front of you. 

“Okay,” he whispered into your ear. “I’m giving this one to you.” 

_____

From Evil Dick: I can hear your vibrator from the kitchen

From You: I’m not using any vibrator right now From You: maybe it’s taeyong lol 

From Evil Dick: lol From Evil Dick: it’s definitely coming from your room tho

From You: you’re imagining things you wish were true

From Evil Dick: I don’t imagine you getting off on vibrators From Evil Dick: I like to be included in my fantasies :)

You: typing You: deleting You: typing You: deleting

From You: fuck you

From Evil Dick: fuck me yourself From Evil Dick: 4-2 for me

Johnny smiled brightly when you barged into his room. 

He was laying down in the dark, with only the phone illuminating his face. 

“Are you already done?” he asked teasingly. 

You stopped at the feet of his bed with crossed arms. 

“I’m here to fuck,” you announced. 

Johnny remained with his mouth open as his brain processed the information then laughed. 

“I don’t think you will,” he sat up, resting his back on the bed frame. The movement lifted his t-shirt a little, exposing the waistband of his boxers above the sweatpants and his lower stomach skin. 

You didn’t add anything and got on your knees on the bed instead, slowly crawling towards him until getting between his legs. Then you sat on your heels and took away your shirt. 

Johnny followed your frame and his eyes grew wide seeing you naked underneath the falling fabric. You smiled and his loss of words and you imitated his position, sitting in front of him and opening your legs to drape over his. 

“Holy shit, Y/N,” he whispered, eyes trained to where you slowly dragged your fingers. 

Inhaling deeply you closed your eyes and threw your head back, gently drawing circles around your clit before pushing two fingers inside of you. 

“Shit,” Johnny repeated and you whined, the wet sound telling him how you felt. 

“I didn’t say I’m here to fuck you. You can’t touch me nor can you touch yourself. If you do, you lose,” you instructed breathless and Johnny dug his fingers in the mattress underneath him. 

You smiled and bit your lower lip, fully enjoying his expression, his eyes looking as if drinking you in and were making you go crazy. 

But then he smiled too and it threw you off. 

In a second his hands were on your thighs as he pulled you towards him from underneath your knees until reaching the hand between your legs. He grabbed your wrists and blocked them in an iron grip. 

“You can’t touch yourself either.” 

You were breathing heavily, naked and so close to Johnny that you could almost feel the warmth of his body on your skin. 

“What’s with that face, baby girl? You wanted to cum?” he cooed at you. 

You bit your lower lip and shook your head. 

Johnny pouted. “Hm, baby girl can’t even lie well. Are you sure you don’t want to feel my fingers inside of you?”

You closed your eyes. “I don’t.” 

The other pulled you towards him by the wrists again until being able to whisper on your lips. 

“What about my tongue?” 

“Fuck, John, plea-” you interrupted yourself. 

Johnny smirked. “What was that? Please?”

You shook your head again. “No.” 

“I definitely heard you say please just now.” 

Panting and on the edge you considered just not caring about anything and fuck that man on the spot. 

“Truce,” you whispered. Johnny tilted his head to the side. 

“It’s not over and no one wins or loses this time,” you explained. 

“That’s convenient for you,” he teased. 

You huffed and fully sat on his lap, rolling your hips once on his hard cock. 

“I think it’s convenient for you too,” you commented after Johnny’s trembling sigh. 

His eyes grew darker and his hands grabbed your ass, pressing you on himself even harder. Your arms wrapped his neck and you hid your face into the crook of it, trying to conceal your whimpers. 

The rough material of his sweatpants did wonders to your sensitive clit and you didn’t need a lot to start shaking in Johnny’s arms. Your hips stopped as you moaned, digging your fingers into his shoulders but his hands on your waist forced you to go on. The overstimulation felt delicious and you didn’t care what words you mumbled into his ear, jolting every time his cock rubbed on your raw clit again and again. A few deep grunts and Johnny’s erratic movements told you that he was close too. You kissed his jaw then the skin next to it, then the corner of his lips, breathing in the air he breathed out then moaning once as he took his cock out and pumped it in his hand, spurts of warm cum coating your lower stomach. You looked down at the way it dripped between your legs and felt dizzy from pleasure. Johnny read your mind and quickly collected the drops fallen on your clit, drawing circles around it quicker and quicker until he had you shaking for the second time, head fallen on his shoulder and teeth digging into his neck skin. 

You remained like that, breathless and fucked out until you finally could manage to raise your head again. “This never happened,” you whispered and Johnny nodded amused.

_____

You yelped as Johnny’s wide palm slapped your butt unannounced. "John! I'm near the stove!" 

"Good morning," he smiled sweetly as he retrieved two coffee mugs from the cupboard. 

"What if I burnt myself?" you accused him even if you both knew it was highly improbable. 

"I would have kissed the bruise until the pain disappeared," he placed the mugs down and walked around you, positioning himself behind you and trapping you with his arms. One hand turned the stove off and the other danced on your stomach pulling you against him. 

"When will you stop?" you tried to steady your voice since your ass rubbing on your roommate's crotch wasn't exactly calming. 

"When you'll beg," he whispered in your ear with his playful tone. "But I'm not trying to do anything now. You were so caught up into staring at me that you didn't notice the eggs and I'm here to save them." 

You put your tongue inside your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. Johnny breathed in as if trying to add something else but the sound of a voice made you both jolt. 

"What are you guys doing so early in the morning?"

You almost forgot you had other roommates besides your sworn enemy poking at your back with his cock. 

"Teaching Y/N how to make good eggs."

Taeyong raised one eyebrow at the scene in front of himself. "Yeah. Adding a sausage does make your eggs taste better." 

"Oh my God," you mumbled, turning around and pushing a chuckling Johnny away. 

"Do you want to know my recipe?" Taeyong raised his voice since you were already leaving the kitchen. 

"Two sausages--," then a smack and a fit of laughter as Taeyong promptly apologized for even daring to assume he could add himself into the equation. 

“Come on. I thought you were in a good mood this morning by the looks of that bright red hickey.”

“Yes and I don’t share what’s mine.” You almost stumbled on our own feet in the corridor.  

"I'm out of town this weekend, by the way. If you want to go all out…" was the last thing you heard and the one giving you the best idea for your new plan. 

_____

It was almost two in the morning and Johnny was nowhere to be seen. 

You rolled over on the bed with a huff then kicked the blanket staring at the lingerie you were wearing with sudden disgust. 

It was the weekend and the house was empty - the perfect occasion for you to play with Johnny. And where was he? Probably fucking somebody else. 

You were sick with anger. 

Getting out of the bed - his bed where you waited for him - you stripped out of the sexy lace and grabbed the first t-shirt you found. It was one of his and even though it was clean, it still smelled like Johnny. 

You got back under the covers and crossed your arms on your chest, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. 

It wasn’t jealousy. You didn’t care if Johnny fucked other people. It’s not like you even fucked properly in the first place. You were just irritated that your plan didn’t work as you wanted it to. 

With an argh you turned on your side and hugged the other pillow, Johnny’s scent engulfing you all again. 

God, he made you so mad. 

_____

The first thing you realized as you woke up was the fact that your room didn’t have a black accent wall. 

The second one was Johnny’s arms around you - one behind your head and the other one thrown around your waist. 

You were sleeping on your back, one hand placed on top of his and the other one on the veiny forearm. With one finger you followed one of them until reaching the bicep then you slowly turned your head to look at him in the face. 

He didn’t close the blinds when he came home last night so the sun was shining brightly behind him, making him look like an angel. 

You smiled for a moment, staring at his calm expression and listening to his regular breath before widening your eyes in horror and snapping out of your sweet thoughts. 

What was that? 

You didn’t care about John Suh and you definitely didn’t care about the way his caramel hair was draping on his forehead. 

“Mm,” his raspy voice accompanied his strong arms pulling you towards him as you tried to slip out of the bed. “Where are you going?” he mumbled, eyes still closed and very much half asleep. 

You sighed and relaxed on your back again without a word and when Johnny rolled you over to face him you didn’t resist it. 

“Did you sleep well?”  “Where have you been?” you spoke on top of him. 

The words, or maybe your tone, made Johnny’s eyes open in an instant. 

You weren’t looking at him, your eyes were low on his chest instead. He raised one hand to cup your cheek with the intent to make you look at him but you flinched. 

“What’s going on?” he questioned. 

You sighed again and shook your head. “Nothing. I’ll make breakfast.”

As you tried to get out of the bed again, Johnny’s arms didn’t want to leave your body. “Y/N. Wait. Stay.” 

His hand got to your face a second time and this time you locked eyes with him. 

“I was out. Like most weekends,” he explained. 

You gulped and nodded. “Good.” 

“No, it’s not good. You don’t seem to like that.” 

You didn’t add anything, neither denying nor confirming it.

Johnny’s eyebrows met in the middle. “You’ve never had a problem with that.” 

“I don’t have a problem with that,” you finally managed to get out of bed and Johnny let you go this time. 

“I didn’t fuck anyone, if you’re wondering,” you heard him say as you walked the few steps towards the door. 

“I don’t care if you fuck people, Johnny.” 

“You do.”

Your feet stopped in place. “I don’t.” 

“You’ve just made the same expression you put on when you claim that you don’t want me to touch you and we both know that’s a lie.” His voice was calm but stern. “Just admit it.” 

You just resumed walking and exited the room. 

_____

It was weird and not something familiar to your gut, but every time you saw Johnny, you felt the urge to either kiss his lips, cry on the floor, punch his face or run away. 

The first was understandable, even if weird; the second one was absolutely weird and you had no idea what the fuck was going on with you; the third was also highly understandable. 

But it was the last one that you chose. 

So when Johnny entered the kitchen you got out. When he opened the door to his bedroom you closed yours. When he sat on the couch, you got up. 

Until he couldn’t take it anymore and barged into your room unannounced. 

“Hey! Knocking maybe?” 

You were on the bed, scrolling through your phone and looking absolutely impresentable. 

“Talk to me.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not in the mood to play right now, John.” 

He walked over and sat on your bed. 

“I don’t want to play. You’re avoiding me.” 

“Look, it was fun for a while, but I don’t feel like continuing the little game we had going on. Let’s go back to how it was before.” Y

ou hoped you sounded convincing to him because you didn’t sound convincing to your own ears. 

Your words did make Johnny put on a sour expression though and you pretended to not notice. 

“Okay,” he said after a moment and you retrieved your phone from the bed, expecting the conversation to be over. 

Yet, when he placed his palm on your thigh your hand stopped in mid-air. 

“What are you doing?” 

He looked down to where his finger slowly caressed your skin, creating little goosebumps all over it. Then Johnny looked up and whatever expression you had on, it was enough for him as he suddenly got up and left the room. 

_____

“Brr, this house is colder than the heart of my elementary crush after he refused to share his food with me.” 

Both you and Johnny ignored Taeyong’s words, busy rolling your peas into your own plates. 

“What happened while I was away?” 

“Nothing happened,” you mumbled. 

“Hm,” the boy commented, munching on his food. “Wait,” he stopped, struck by realization, “ you mean like - nothing - happened? This is why you’re both mad? You didn’t fuck?” 

You rolled your eyes and got up with the plate in your hands. 

“She’s mad because she doesn’t want to admit that she has feelings for me.” 

The bomb that Johnny threw made both Taeyong and you shake in your places.

“What?” you asked incredulously. “I don’t have feelings for you.” 

Johnny calmly put down his fork and looked up at you. 

“Well, I do.” 

You opened your mouth in a silent shock while Taeyong initially gasped then soon after shrugged, whispering under his breath. “I mean, it was kinda obvious in his case.”

“And I don’t like the fact that you think I have space in my mind for other people besides you,” he continued. “Because it’s not true.” 

“Woah,” Taeyong rested his back on the chair as if watching a soap opera. 

“Did you really have to do this in the living room at dinner time?” you asked him after a few seconds of opening and closing your mouth like a fish. 

“Oh?” Johnny raised his eyebrows. “You want to take this to the bedroom instead? Let’s go,” he got up suddenly. 

“Aw, guys, come on. You always hide the funniest stuff from me!” whined Taeyong seeing you leave. 

“You know what I mean!” you replied to Johnny but still followed his quickly moving frame inside his room. He closed the door behind him and crossed his arms on his chest as if waiting for you to talk. 

“What?” you imitated his position. 

“Say something?” 

“I don’t know what to say! What does one say after all of that?” you questioned. 

“Do something? I just said I am in love with-” 

In the end you did something and that something was wrapping his neck with your arms and kissing him deeply. 

Johnny remained still for a moment as if shocked before finally relaxing his arms and tightly pulling your body towards his. 

Your mind was empty and you had no idea what was going on but after a few seconds of tasting Johnny’s tongue you were already thrown on the bed. It creaked under Johnny’s force and you jolted at the way he dragged your pajama pants down. No sexy outfit and no lace lingerie to meet his eyes, yet they were full of such intensity and lust that you realized it didn’t matter at all. Hands in his hair, you raised your bust to connect your lips again. 

“I was so fucking mad you weren’t home that night. I thought I was about to go crazy,” you breathed out while Johnny was palming your torso, lifting up your t-shirt and cupping your breasts. 

“I know. Punish me then. Show me your anger,” he joked.  But his reply turned a switch into your body and you managed to push his chest away from you. He smiled at your reaction and rolled over on his back, letting you straddle his lap. 

“I’m going to tease you so much until you’ll be the one begging me to touch you.”  

Johnny caressed your thighs. “Hm. I don’t need any teasing. You’re breaking me with your mere presence. Please, please, touch me.” 

Your breath got stuck in your throat and you couldn’t see anymore. The grunts leaving Johnny’s throat as you bit into his neck were so hot that you wondered what stopped you from letting yourself hear them before. And when you moved to his chest, then stomach, littering his skin with love bites his muscles twitched under your touch. 

You had no words to describe how it felt to have him inside your mouth. Heavy, hot and so present, you choked only on a third of it. 

“Shit,” you mumbled, taking it out and pumping it instead with your hand. 

Johnny loved it anyways and he looked at you with such intensity that you wondered if you could make him cum with only a few kitty licks. 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to,” he breathed out. 

“It’s alright. I know I have a monster cock and you don’t have to suck on it if you can’t handle being deepthroated,” you mocked him trying to imitate his tone. “Well, I want to and I will.”

And so you listened to Johnny’s airy chuckle, broken by the feeling of your mouth on him again, this time deeper than before. 

“You love a challenge, huh?” 

You would have said that, yes, you loved it and you loved to win, if it weren’t for his cock sliding down your throat making it difficult to talk. 

“Fuck, baby, that’s- oh shit-,” he grabbed your head as you bobbed your head up and down a few times before you couldn’t take it anymore and let it out with a lewd plop. 

“Baby?” you raised one eyebrow at him. 

“You don’t like it?” 

“Do I look like a baby to you?” you smiled with wet lips, your hand restlessly pumping his cock hard and fast. 

Johnny grunted again, his hips rising to meet your touch even more. 

“Hm, no, you look like a little slut right now,” he agreed with a smirk before his expression changed again into, you realized in that moment, the best view you’ve ever seen in your whole life. Head thrown back and completely at your mercy, Johnny came hard, his whole body twitching as his cum spurted on your hand and face. 

“I think I won this time,” you pumped him a few more times before letting him go. “Hm, you drink so much coffee,” you smacked your lips after licking his cum off your fingers. 

“This wasn’t part of the game.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ve just decided that it was,” you shrugged. 

Johnny grabbed his discarded t-shirt and cleaned his stomach. “So, are we playing now?”

His tone got dangerous and his expression made your wet pussy even drippier but you had no time to worry or form a single thought about it since you suddenly found yourself with the face on the mattress instead. 

You turned your head sideways to be able to breathe and Johnny’s hands didn’t even try to be gentle when they pulled your panties down. 

The loud smack arrived before the sensation of his big palm on your asschecks could. When you finally felt the burning sensation, another slap added to that. 

Your fingers grabbed Johnny’s blanket, preparing yourself for the third spank, absolutely not expecting his tongue inside of you instead. 

“Fuckfuckfuck-” you mewled but your sounds only made Johnny more ferocious, hands opening you up, eating you out as if he’d been dying to do so for a long time. And it was true for yourself too, but no imagination of yours could have realistically portrayed the way he was making you feel and no fingers of yours could reach as deep as his did, fingering you fast, tongue not stopping for a second, not even when you violently went over the edge with the loudest moans you’ve ever heard yourself emit. 

“You win, you win-,” your rough throat tried to stop him from torturing your overstimulated clit and you heard him suck on his fingers after he let you go. 

“Okay, I’ll take it. But this is just the beginning. Are you going to let me fuck you, baby?” he caressed your ass, going down to your waist and cupping your breasts. 

The movement made his cock poke at your entrance and you imperceptibly opened your legs even more. 

“Yes, please,” you whispered back, turning your head to meet his lips as he lifted your chin. 

“Hm? Say that again?” 

“Please.” 

His tip easily slipped inside but the stretch still made you hiss through your teeth. Johnny shushed you, kissing your shoulder and neck until he bottomed out. “You can handle it, right baby?” You tried to nod but his first thrust knocked the air out of your lungs and you let your head fall down again with a whine. 

Johnny moved again and again then stopped with a grunt. “Beg a little for me again.” 

You bit your lower lip, his tip pressing right when you needed it to and you wanted him to do it non stop. 

“I don’t think I will beg again,” you whispered with a smile and started to move your hips instead. It was a sloppy and slow job, nowhere sharp and quick as Johnny’s, but you had to win again. 

The man let your ass bounce on his stomach a few times, staring at the way you were stretched around him then he grabbed your waist and left you all empty. 

You whined, clenching yet nothing being inside of you anymore. 

“I said beg.” 

His breath was now on your spine, his wet mouth placing kisses on your skin, making it shiver and taking some of it in his teeth, sucking on it until he was satisfied. 

But you remained silent and he clicked his tongue at your stubbornness. In a single go he filled you up again and this time he never stopped. 

He was breaking you in half and if you hadn’t already had tears in your eyes, this would have been the time to start crying from pleasure. 

“Holy fucking shit--John-” you cried out, breath rhytmically broken by his deep thrusts and when he added his slaps again, you just lost it all, cumming so hard that the neighbors were probably ready to call an ambulance. 

Johnny stopped balls deep inside of you, feeling the way you clenched around him. And when you thought it was over, when you barely started to hear again, he moved as hard as before, shushing you and pressing his fingers roughly into your skin. 

“You can handle another round, right baby? You’re such a pretty little slut with a bigger attitude than she can carry. This is nothing for you.” 

Fucked dumb, you could only nod and Johnny started to lose control himself, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, some drops falling from his collabones to his chest. And when you felt his cum spurt inside of you, you finally begged, repeating it again and again. Johnny didn’t stop and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to move at all the next day when your muscles contracted for the nth time in so little time, collapsing completely after Johnny slowly slipped out of you. 

His breath felt wet and boiling on your face when he dropped beside you. 

He swallowed a few times trying to catch his breath. “Fucking finally. I knew it was going to be epic. Why did you refuse me for so long? Look what you missed.” 

You would have snorted if you had the force so you resorted to just let out a whine. “I refused so I couldn’t see this. I have a big attitude? Well, you have the biggest ego in the world.” 

Johnny turned his head towards you. “And cock.” 

You rolled your eyes and accepted his hands pulling you towards his chest. 

“Ew, you’re sweaty,” you mumbled. He kissed your forehead. “And you love it.” “No,” you denied it, “butIloveyou,” you added quickly. 

Johnny shook your body in a hug. “Hm?? Say that again.” 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

That grown man pouted at you making his eyes wide and glossy. “Please?” 

“Whoa,” you smiled, “are you acting cute at me right now? After killing me with your monster cock?” 

Johnny nodded cutely and repeated the plea. 

“Okay, okay. I-- love you.” 

He chuckled happily and tightened his arms around you again, squeezing you in an almost mortal hug. 

“Again.”

You sighed realizing that you were suddenly dealing with a child. 

“I love you.” 

And you repeated it again and again until you were sure that he finally fell asleep. 

With one hand to caress his face you finally indulged in staring at him, fully realizing what that weird sensation in your gut was. 

“I really love you.” 

Your whisper was tiny and barely audible but Johnny smiled. 

“I know. And I love you too.”

[betweenlands]

The tags about 77-2 impulse definitely Not losing 3lsmp got me thinking about a full blown 77-2 in datd 3lsmp scenario now- like assuming everyone is still equipped with the powers/skills they have, do you have any thoughts on what would happen?

I for one think that Kj would attempt to either Bust Out ala that one red sun crossover fic, snap people out of it, or just cause massive amounts of chaos/start trying to profit from the great amounts of Stuff resulting from it

Though I think also that it kinda depends on if the gang decided to join out of free will initially or if they just got plopped there all of a sudden because could you imagine if you had just A Squad of angry angry people not being pleased about a common enemy? Nice knowing you 3lsmp world o7 (though side note I think Grian would just absolutely lose it someone give this poor man a break) (also side side note Keralis, Bdubs, and the Narrators would also probably do extraordinarily well huh)

man, okay, so. it's really interesting trying to figure out how the 77-2 cast would do in 3lsmp, and tbh it also depends on if we go with the Classic 3lsmp cast or "the entire cast is just 77-2 characters." either way i'm assuming they all want to be here bc if not they Would stage a Grand Escape

sidenote fluffy and i were briefly discussing "what happens if 3lsmp but a kakujo's there" a few nights ago and it turns out the answer is "it all goes down roughly the same as long as nobody cheats too hard. also martyn's voices do Not like kakujo (breakerbreakerbreakerbreaker) and kj eerily doesn't change At All on his red life." i have no idea if we'll ever do anything more with it but martyn totally sees kj do dark magic at some point and is Unsettled

anyway i'm about to start rambling so. readmore. mild 77-2 spoilers and hey if you haven't read 77-2 now's a great time to do so! it's one of our fave aus we've (co)written. so here's the masterpost

right, so, if we just put the classic 3lsmp cast in this situation but give them their corresponding powersets from 77-2, we're going to see. a lot of things change. powers-wise:

impulse is nearly impossible to kill, bc he instinctively ticks back to before he'd receive a fatal blow

bdubs. vines. crastle's a lot more defensible all of a sudden

while grian has branches access, i think as long as nobody gets turbokilled he probably won't use the branches -- he doesn't have that Instinctive Usage drilled into him as hard as impulse does. he's gonna be more of a bastard though

cleo, oh man cleo. cleo can't not use her power, and if anyone does Important Things on the server she'll know. she won't know what they are but she'll Know.

etho and tango are truly just fucking vibing

ren is also just vibing but with a little bit of anxiety from ["PURPLEHEART" FILE MISSING]

scar is [DATA EXPUNGED] and that leads to some interesting consequences

day 1, cleo stops grian from blowing up scar with a creeper, bc the resulting ripple would be so large that she absolutely does not want to know what it'd be like. martyn and ren still hit it off, but with the added wrinkle that ren is a little more initially untrusting of martyn. impulse still agrees to Day One Crew, but in a very serious tone, and also warns Bdubs about phantoms. cleo and bdubs still have some lingering tensions over the 77-2 Incidents. everyone not from hermitcraft has no idea what's going on.

you can see how this would spiral.

---

MEANWHILE, over in the "it's the entire cast of 77-2 in 3rd life" universe, things are on fire! keralis and scar are our Red Desert Duo this time -- they both wanted to be the conman figure and decided to team up. and by "decided" i mean keralis sweet-talked scar into it and scar's a little grumpy but figures it gives him a good shot at winning. grian's still technically in debt to scar, but he's more of an unpaid intern and the chances of him eventually defecting to someone else's side are pretty damn high.

doc and bdubs immediately set up NHO Part 2 and recruit iskall (vive la revolucion) to their side. they try to convince false to join, but she's decided to stick with cleo rather than do shenanigans. the Gals are immediately declared an enemy of the New Hermit Order and cleo is delighted by this.

impulse and kakujo both independently decide they want absolutely nothing to do with this nonsense and leave; impulse runs into ed while doing villager stuff and kakujo runs into joe while trying to build a house in a mountain. they both make secret duo alliances. unbeknownst to ed and joe, impulse and kakujo are a Day One Alliance, a fact which will delight joe and utterly bewilder ed.

i don't know who wins this one. it'd be a sheer disaster though.

[thetorchwoodnineroleplayerwriter]

Popular!Luz AU concept post

This au concept is something me, @crispyclown , and @molotov-does-stuff worked out together on @pastatiger ‘s TOH discord.

The basic concept is “what if Luz never did become friends with Willow and actually did become popular” based on an offhanded comment from boscha in ‘Understanding Willow’ that went to the effect of “that human could have been popular if she wasn’t hanging out with Willow”.

Here’s all the headcanons we’ve all put together:

Timeline:

1) 'teenage abomination' never happens. Luz just has a boring day and becomes vaguely aware of Hexside.

2) during ’Covention’, Amity and Luz meet for the first time. They don’t hit it off but they don’t not hit it off either. After the Lilith speech, Amity still steps on King’s cupcake, but it’s completely by accident. Amity tries to ‘keep up appearances as a Blight’ and ends up accidentally insulting Luz and King while attempting to apologize. Luz ultimately still has the “Bog of Immediate Regret” line, but Amity doesn’t really care one way or the other, so she nearly says ‘you read Azura too?!’ Before instead accepting. Amity and Luz’s bet is pretty low stakes — Amity apologizes to king if she loses, Luz apologizes to Amity if she loses, maybe? But Eda and Lillith get waaaay into the bet and both sides cheat as canon. Amity still breaks down when the construction glyph is revealed, but Luz formally concedes anyways (with low stakes she doesn’t have any serious need to win, and she still would rather be this girl’s friend than her enemy), citing their own relative skill levels, before going and talking to Amity. Amity is still DISTRAUGHT about the whole ordeal, but she and Luz have a much more in-depth heart-to-heart, where Luz explains what she did, tells Amity how cool Luz thinks she is, and manages to tell her the “I’m not a witch, but… I’m training to be one“ line. Amity leaves Luz with the line, ‘they say humans can't learn any magic. But... I don't think that's going to stop you.' And… they’re, maybe friends? Unclear friends? Probably just acquaintances but the point is its nonnegative relationship development.

3) ‘Hooty's Moving Hassle' is removed.

4) in ‘Lost in Language’, Luz is still a little over-friendly with Amity (Amity respects her for serious but also She Has A Reputation, Luz) when they meet in the library. Luz still gets sucked in to the twins’ chaotic energy, and Luz still thinks hanging out with them will somehow translate to brownie points with Amity. When Amity walks in on them in the secret room, she’s much more visibly and viscerally betrayed by (what she thinks) Luz did. However after saving themselves from evil Otabin, Luz does convince her the twins tricked her, they book trade as canon, Amity actually clearly thinks of Luz as a friend at the end of it all.

5) the moonlight conjuration incident happens after the library incident. Amity spins a BS story about Luz being a skilled witch to her parents and invites her to the conjuring. While initially their conjuring goes as canon (ie nowhere), Luz turns it to a regular party with Boscha, Skara, Amity, and herself. (and Cat, i think? Whoever their canon fourth was, she’s still here.) Eventually they try again, and since (in this au) the conjuring's power == your conjuring group's friendship's strength, and everyone here is at least somewhat friends with luz now, they do manage to animate a few things.

6) at some point here, Luz, Boscha, and Skara team up for a pickup game of grudgeby, and Luz learns the fireball glyph.

7) During ‘Once Upon a Swap', both Skara and Boscha notice how out of character King!Luz is acting. They can admit King!Luz is being cool, if a lil dorky, but they have an out-of-character moment where Boscha tries to ask 'Luz' if she's okay. King doesn't get it, but the others walk in on it so Boscha resumes acting like a challenged alpha bitch. (Luz eventually explains to Skara what was goin on that day. Luz ‘conveniently’ never got the chance to clue Boscha in.)

8) at some point around here, Luz manages to get Eda to enroll her in Hexside.

9) 'adventures in the elements' is changed bc Luz does know two glyphs. However, She and Amity want to hang out some more and Amity thought Luz's fire glyph could help her learn the fireball spell, so they still go to the knee together (with Eda, Emira, and Edric as terrible excuses for chaperones.) Luz learns the ice spell under Eda’s somewhat hands-off tutelage, possibly after accidentally angering the Slitherbeast as in canon.

10) In ‘First Day', Boscha is looking forward to finally getting a read on this girl who wormed her way straight into Amity's heart. (she's not jealous. nuhuh. not even a little. YOU’RE jealous!) Luz still immediately gets Detention'd, tho, but this time Amity and Boscha show up to bust her out unprompted, leading to a VERY awkward moment where Viney (and Jerbo and Barcus) refuse to trust Luz on the basis that Boscha and Amity are her friends, and both of them are notorious jerks who would ABSOLUTELY bully the DT kids. Amity has to duck out for her performance tho. the episode concludes as canon.

11) we get an extended time where we see how Luz easily makes friends with almost everyone at Hexside. She's friend-shaped and she gets a HUGE popularity boost for being honest friends with Skara and Amity. (she gets rancid vibes from Boscha when they’re at school together, but she can't put her finger on *why*. and besides, Boscha calls Luz her friend too, so that probably counts.) during this time Luz meets Gus, who is one of E&E's classmates. Gus can have an episode, as a treat.

12) Luz finally meets Willow, and gets slapped in the face HARD with confirmation that Amity and Boscha are kind of massive assholes. Luz tries to befriend Willow, but Willow refuses to trust her due to how often Boscha, Amity, and the rest of the popular girls who make up most of Luz’s closer friend group have bullied her.

13) Luz tries to get Boscha to take it down a notch. Boscha takes it up a notch. Luz tries to get Amity to help, Amity asks why it matters — it’s just ‘half a witch willow’, no one cares. Luz realizes, awkwardly (and probably with the assistance of Jerbo and/or Barcus), that while she currently has a lot a friends and is popular, if she defends Willow from Boscha’s bullying she’ll lose a lot of her popularity. Luz kind of has a small breakdown over this, because she doesn’t want to risk friends here when in the human world she has so few, but at the same time, she has Principles! She can’t just ignore this! As one of her schemes to help Willow without going against Boscha directly, Luz manages to get Willow transferred out of Abominations, although Willow is kinda annoyed by this since even though she’s in plant track she feels a stranger. (This alienation eventually goes away, but not before…)


14) Luz snaps and punches Boscha in the face one day for bullying Willow once too many times. Boscha gets PISSED and Luz is NOT BACKING DOWN, even though she’s scared. Boscha basically exiles Luz from the friend group, which has the added effect of making almost all of Luz’s friends stop talking to her, most painfully Skara and Amity. Willow starts to tolerate her, but only barely. (Gus is still Luz’s friend tho. In fact, Gus, the DT kids, and E&E Are the only Hexside students at this point who’ll be caught dead with Luz.)


15) ‘Understanding Willow’ Is changed; Luz catches Amity burning up Willow’s memories. However, since Amity, Luz, and Willow are distinctly *not* talking to each other, the quest to save Willow’s mind is *much* more tense. Luz keeps taking potshots at Amity for abandoning the both of them, Inner Willow hates both of them, and Amity is trying desperately not to have fun with people who hate her and also trying desperately to defend her actions. Amity still reveals the same secret of the day she stopped being Willow’s friend; Luz, meanwhile, reveals some bad memories of her own human school that make it very obvious how much the chance to be popular meant to her and how she genuinely empathizes with Willow’s whole situation. Ultimately ends with a bit of a tense moment between the three where they admit they’re not friends yet… but at the very least they’re all willing to be friends, now.

16) We get some time watching Luz slowly re-making her friends throughout the school, as people decide they really do like Willow and Luz as people and they’re kinda tired of Boscha been an alpha bitch. Maybe spliced with Willow & Luz & Amity hangin out, being friendly, or with Boscha been salty and Skara et al. being here by obligation even though they *clearly* wanna hang out with Luz some more.

17) ‘Wing It Like Witches’ happens largely beat for beat here. Boscha attempts to re-assert social dominance, Luz invokes the sacred rites of a game of grubby with a bet, Luz tries to get Willow and Gus in for it but Gus can’t and Willow won’t; Amity talks Willow into forming a 3 person team with her. Extra angst from the fact that Boscha and Luz did actually have some bonding over being on the same team on an earlier grubby game.

18) Grom happens now, largely as canon. When preparing Luz for the main fight, Amity theorizes (incorrectly) that Luz’s greatest fear is losing her friends on the boiling isles; Luz goes along with it, because ‘I already faced that fear once this year, it’ll be a cinch’. Grom tries it but it doesn’t work, but then from turns into her mom. (We see Amity nearly cry from Grom turning into her, but realizes what’s going on, and then has a massive blush from being called ‘her’ Amity. Skara rolls her eyes, bc she’s been clued in. Boscha is deliberately not caring.)

.

20) Boscha eventually gets to the point where she decides to apologize to Willow. She starts with a BS ‘lol sry’ approach, ends with a record-scratch-sudden rant where Boscha really does break it — and herself — down in honest apology. Some of the bad attempts are played for comedy, this one played completely straight.

Miscellanious other elements:

Unrequited Boschamity / exes Boschamity, boscha has cool banter with her friends (mildly platonic boschluz banter, snarky boschamity banter, member boschkara banter, etc), Boscha being really jealous of Luz, Everyone — EVERYONE — pines at Skara, Luz also pines at willow eventually, BOSCHA ACTUALLY GETS A REDEMPTION ARC AND ITS WELL WRITTEN AND NO ITS NOT IN SERVICE OF A SHIP, Boscha::Azula Amity::Zuko wrt redemption arcs, Boscha joins the inevitable rebellion as one of those ‘everyone in public thinks I’m an enemy of the rebellion so I can help them out real nice in the DL’ people, and yes we ARE overthrowing the government at some point in this au just not right now, right now we’re having ANGST and LUMITY, boscha is actually very nice to her friends when she wants to be she just usually doesn’t feel like she Should Be Vulnerable, any episode that’s just ‘Luz With Willow And/or Gus doing Hijinks’ (ex ‘Really Small Problems’, ‘Something Ventured, Someone Framed’) that hasn’t already been mapped to an event in this timeline is skipped completely, yes that means Mathholomule successfully becomes president of the human club, none of this aus cast is actually friends with him tho don’t worry, Edric has been quietly dating Jerbo for a while now but his sisters don’t know, Emira is a disaster lesbian for Viney and the teasing is relentless, Emira is a terminal prankster with a maladapted sense of boundaries as a result of her parents, this is a point of contention for her courtship of Viney who can and will go OFF on her for crossing the line and not feeling guilty, Edric is very aware of boundaries but he also finds looking to her for direction gets him in trouble the least at home so he just feels terrible afterwards and tries to get Emira to tone it down and/or apologize, basically the library incident was her idea in this au and he went along with it because of blight child optics stuff, Luz’s memory may out Luz to Willow and Amity, Willow and Amity absolutely say ‘gay rights’, in fact the entire isle says ‘gay rights’, this au tricks you into thinking ‘oh easy lumity’ but then Willow comes in like a wrecking ball, during that murky period when Luz’s friends all hate her bc she punched boscha all the people still willing to talk to her get friendly REAL fast, yes that includes willow and amity once they all stop hating each other, nobody lets Amity live down “Oh, wow,,, sports” except Luz who didn’t get it, Everyone has a song assigned to them at the sleepover, Luz’s is Bad Reputation, Skara’s is Caramelldansen, Boscha’s is Money Machine, Amity’s is Eminence Front because I say so

[frostyalice]

fic: can i make it any more obvious? (4k)

Summary: BITE ME, JASPER!

The sign is hard to ignore and not so easy to read when it’s being waved wildly by some girl, Maria notices. When she looks harder, she swears she recognizes her.

“She always was weird,” Jessica chirps into her ear.

(or: a sk8er boi au that no one but me wanted or asked for)

a/n 1: well. i did it. i figure, if we’re throwing it back fandom-wise, we may as well throw it back to avril lavigne as well. although, tbh, i was more of a ‘girlfriend’ girl myself and not really a fan (or even very aware) of of sk8er boi until recently lol

Anyway! (to try to keep from wasting your reading time, i am letting you know now that the part of the fic that’s posted below is only a snippet of the full fic - a teaser, if you will. i didn’t realize how long this fic would get until i finished it. so in order to keep from having to scroll through all 4k words of the fic when someone visits my blog on mobile, i opted out of posting the full fic on tumblr. there will be a link to the complete ao3 version at the end of the snippet, or you can skip that and just click here now)

____

Past…

She watches as he hesitates by his locker, trying to time his walk over to her, she assumes. He’s brave, she has to admit, if he plans on going over with all her snooty friends still around. She slowly puts another book inside her own locker, watching.

He closes his locker, takes a deep breath and then walks over to the small – even for her age – girl, surrounded by her group of friends. They don’t seem to notice him. After a minute or so he finally clears his throat.

“Maria,” he says quietly, making them aware of his presence. One of her friends taps her on the shoulder, pointing.

The girl, Maria, turns and Alice watches as she looks him up and down.

“What?” she finally asks.

“Um, I was just wondering,” he starts off slowly. One of Maria’s friends snickers. “If you’d like to go out. With me. Sometime.”

She watches as both of Maria’s best friend, turn eagerly to each other, hiding laughs behind their hands. Maria takes a while to answer, and when she does, her heart sinks.

“Look, Jason-”

“Jasper,” he corrects quietly.

“Yeah, whatever. Jackson,” she flicks her long hair over her shoulder. “I don’t remember ever having a conversation with you, but if I ever did something to make you think I liked you, I’m sorry. But, yeah, no. Sorry.”

From her spot across the hall, Alice can see Jasper push his tongue against the inside of his cheek. A habit he does when he’s flustered, she’s figured out.

“Right,” he says. Then, unceremoniously he turns and walks away.

“See you later!” she calls.

He doesn’t look back and immediately, all of Maria’s friends start gossiping amongst themselves.

“What a freak,” one says.

“Do you even know him?”

“He’s so tall.”

Alice watches Jasper start walking faster away from them. She spares one last look at the group and is startled to see that Maria is still watching Jasper’s retreating form. Quickly, she shuts her locker and fast-walks so she can catch up to the taller boy.

“That’s too bad,” she says in what she hopes is a sympathetic tone.

He seems surprised to see her beside him, but he nods, nonetheless. The only sign he even knows that she witnessed him getting rejected is the slight flush to his neck. “Thanks, Alice.”

He continues on his way down the wall, and Alice stumbles to a stop. One, because she has to turn here for her next class. But mostly, because, well, she didn’t even know he knew her name.

With a smile on her face, she skips on down to her next class. She gathers a few odd glances, but pays them no mind.

She’s always been weird. Always will be, too.

Being normal is so overrated anyway.

.

Alice watches as he walks into the cafeteria, with nothing on his tray but a banana. As usual.

That’s good, she thinks. Potassium.

She looks at her own cafeteria mush and think she may have made the right choice. She pushes it around, but is startled when a bag falls down on the bench a little farther from her. She looks up to find Jasper sitting diagonal from her. He looks up the table in her direction.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Alice eyes him and the quite large space between them. “All yours,” she says.

For the rest of lunch period, she tries to focus on making her lunch mush taste as appealing as possible, but is having no such luck. Plus, she keeps getting distracted by Jasper, because, well, he’s Jasper.

Currently, he seems to be doodling some sort of logo.

100 monkeys it seems to be trying to say.

“That looks cool,” she comments, probably looking more than a little snoopy, craning her neck up to see it in all its glory.

“Thanks, but I can’t really get all the components to fit so it all goes together, you know? As one piece.”

“Gotchya,” she says. She bites her lip. “Can I see it? Just real quick,” she says quickly.

He looks a little wary, but slides the sketchpad down to her anyway. Quickly, she opens the book so she can use a blank page while still being able to see how he was trying to go about it before. She quickly copies what he has drawn already, tweaking some things here and there, and adding in something that resembles a monkey’s tail hanging from the top part. She slides it back to him, feeling shy all of a sudden.

“Alice,” he says, and her heart flutters a little. “This is really good. Can I show the rest of the guys this?”

“Of course,” she chirps. “What’s it for, by the way?”

“Oh, I’m in a band. Sort of,” he tacks on.

She already knew this. She remembers a few months ago he and some of his friends had handed out flyers in front of the school. She hadn’t been able to go because she had had to babysit her sister.

“That’s cool,” she says.

read full fic on ao3 --->

____

a/n 2: for Vibes, you can refer to these wonderfully old pictures

and here is one of ashley and jackson bc whenever i write alice and jasper i can only imagine jackson and ashley. bc movies always ruin my original portrayal of characters (as in i can only see the actors now, and can’t even remember how i originally pictured the book characters, not that i think they’re bad) but it works, bc jackson was in a band. so. whoo.

and to think i thought i wouldn’t be writing any more jalice for a while after my whumptober fiasco.. and then wrote this in probably a collective few hours.. whoops

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Please tell me all about your complaints with BBC Merlin, bc I too have Many Complaints (ft. Miscommunication and Secrets Are Good For Drama to a Maximum of One Season and Certainly Not Five; Morgana is a Terrified and Oppressed Woman Who Is Made Evil for Being Terrified and Oppressed and Does Not Deserve It, Much Like All Mages; and Everyone Has A Serious Case of Forgetting Their Character Growth when The Plot Requires.

*deep breath*

Honestly I think my ultimate complaint about Merlin is that it suffers from an absolutely crippling case of narrative cowardice, which is a concept you might recall from my Inevitable Tirade About SPN.  Basically: if you open your show with a large portion of it predicated on a conceit that has to be drastically altered in order to accomplish the ultimate goal of the plot (in the case of Merlin, switching from uther’s Camelot to Arthur’s Camelot), you can’t be a shit about it and you have to actually goddamn do it.  CHANGE YOUR PARADIGM, YOU LIMP NOODLES.

No, I’m dead serious, all their problems basically boil down to a critical inability to change the paradigm.  Let’s do an experiment to prove it.

Merlin’s magic, obviously.

Two things here.

First, Merlin hiding his magic.  At the beginning, Merlin can’t tell anyone about his magic on pain of death, because Uther.  This implicitly sets up the eventual transition into Arthur’s Camelot as a shift into a ‘safe’ Camelot for magic users in general and Merlin in particular, because we all know a little bit about Arthuriana and we know that Merlin becomes Arthur’s trusted adviser, magic and all.  So in order to accomplish that transition, what ‘should’ happen (by ‘should’ I mean, ‘the thing that makes intuitive sense to someone waiting for the plot to advance’) is that Merlin’s presence and involvement in Arthur’s life gradually makes Arthur more comfortable with magic, until finally a crisis forces a reveal in which Merlin comes clean and puts Arthur in the position of deciding once and for all where he stands.  Plot and precedent in every other Arthurian legend requires that Arthur decides, at the very least, that Merlin is not evil and that consequently magic can be used for good.  This would by virtue of necessity put Arthur and Merlin against Uther, and moreover mean that it would be the two of them scheming together in order to save the kingdom every couple weeks, which would be an excellent way to develop their relationship and progress toward Arthur’s Camelot.  Instead, by trying to uphold the ‘secrecy’ conceit, the plot is forced to relapse to Square One every couple of episodes, and therefore when Arthur’s Camelot does come ‘round, it’s not safe for Merlin to come clean, Merlin still doesn’t really trust Arthur, Arthur’s playing checkers on a board where the other side is playing chess, and We The People feel pretty fucking cheated.

Second, Merlin’s magic in general.  FRIENDS.  COMRADES.  IF YOU ARE GOING TO GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO SET SOMEONE UP AS THE MOST POWERFUL MAGE IN HISTORY, I WANT TO SEE THEM BE THE MOST POWERFUL MAGE IN HISTORY.  Honestly by about season 3 there’s no point to Merlin being worried about coming clean, because we’re told repeatedly that he’s powerful enough to not worry about being burned at the stake or whatever.  According to what we’re told, Merlin should have the raw power to walk into Uther’s courtroom and announce “Hello, all, I am a warlock and I dare you to mess with me” and then go back to his business.  But since we never see him actually carry that out–y’all he fucking killed Nimueh with lightning, why didn’t we see that again?–Merlin’s power level is mostly an Informed Attribute, which leaves the viewer frustrated and confused by a lot of the tension the show sets up regarding threats to Merlin’s life.  We see Merlin demonstrate multiple times that it would be almost impossible to execute him by traditional methods, and yet we’re still supposed to agree that it’s too dangerous.  Like.  Listen, my friends.  Here is a pro tip.  It’s actually not a narrative-ending problem to have a ludicrously OP character (which is what Merlin would be if the writers were consistent with his abilities), but you have to acknowledge that they develop a whole different set of obstacles than someone who isn’t ludicrously OP.  It just takes some creative thinking.

Morgana!

Morgana is horribly mistreated by the narrative and I’m not gonna question you there, but moreover, a lot of the problems with her magic plotline are, again, about a fear of changing the paradigm.  So, like, okay, let’s all agree that it would make infinitely more narrative sense for Morgana to go to Arthur, her foster brother and trusted friend, in distress and tell him that she thinks she can do magic, which Arthur would tell his servant Merlin.  The two of them recommend that Morgana keep it under wraps, and maybe that’s how Arthur starts to come around on the magic thing, rather than Merlin’s influence.  Sure, super chill.  Instead of just doing an about-face on the whole loyalty thing because…what…she’s not the heir?  (It’s been A Minute since I put myself through this show.)  Instead of that whole mess, maybe Morgana comes to Merlin when Uther is wounded and begs him to help her find a way to heal him, because surely, surely, if his beloved ward (and daughter) uses magic for something so pure and innocently good as healing the king, it can’t be evil.  When that inevitably backfires, Uther banishes Morgana from Camelot, and Arthur tells her to go because it’s safer.  Morgana, betrayed by Uther and perceiving herself to be abandoned by Arthur and Merlin, turns on Camelot in a rage and allies with her sister Morgause.  This plotline gives Morgana more agency, avoids the rather unsavory “madness leads to murder” overtones, minimizes the predatory vibe of Morgause’s plotline, and actually contributes to developing Merlin and Arthur as leaders and characters alike.

The problem, of course, is that this plotline hinges on Arthur’s character not being a static piece of shit that would honestly fracture under even the most minimal paradigm shift.  So instead, Morgana draws the short straw for a sudden face-heel turn so that there can be a motivation to enforce Arthur’s hatred of magic and Merlin’s fear of telling the truth, and then she disappears for half a season only to show up again crazy and homicidal, which…honestly there’s not a lot of emotional punch there.  At no point in time did I sympathize with Morgana because, update, I do not believe that fratricide and patricide are legitimate responses to her situation in the show.  But since they presented it as a problem that should have been sympathetic, I was mostly just angry rather than disinterested.

Merlin and Arthur’s friendship!

Honestly this should be pretty blindingly obvious, but Merlin and Arthur…I actually don’t super care for their relationship, because there are so few occasions when Arthur counterbalances his constant insults and judgement with the kind of do-or-die loyalty Merlin shows him.  And like on the one hand it’s clearly meant to be largely in good humor, but there are plenty of times when it’s Clearly Not.  But the worst part is that I can’t even hold it against Arthur because Merlin is not telling him the truth, which in turn I can’t hold against Merlin because Arthur is pretty much a narrow-minded magic-hating prick, which never changes because Merlin isn’t telling him the truth, because Arthur has never given him reason to think he’d stand by Merlin against Uther, and so on down the line.

And you expect me to believe that relationship develops into something strong enough to build a kingdom on?  To build a legend on?  I think the hell not.  In order to develop that relationship into something that feels as last-gasp-devoted as the show tells you it should, someone’s paradigm has to shift and it basically has to be Arthur because See Above and, again, the showmakers are fucking cowards.

Arthur’s personality AS A WHOLE

Once again: I am existentially exhausted by the whole Arthur Is A Dick thing.  And I don’t blame Merlin for starting it, but it’s definitely a peak concentration of the whole phenomenon, and I fucking hate it.  I eventually stuck it out and watched three seasons and change and I did genuinely enjoy a lot of things, but I attempted the first episode three times and had to stop because I was so fucking aggravated with Arthur’s character.  And basically, in order for him to move firmly out of Spoiled Rich Prick With Issues into Competent Merciful Leader With Tragic Backstory That Panned Out Well In The End, he needs to acknowledge in-narrative that he’s been, A, contributing to the persecution of magic users and that’s something he’ll never truly be clean of, and, B, he’s been not only mocking but actively penalizing Merlin for what Arthur does not realize is saving the country.  Basically, it would require Arthur to grow up, not just in his status as king but in and of himself as an individual, in his relationships as well as in his throne, become more than a war hero with more courage than is healthy.  It would require Arthur to spit out an apology that sounded like an apology, and start trusting Merlin’s word as an adviser rather than a conveniently intelligent servant.

And like.  That paradigm shift would probably have made the showrunners shit their pants on the spot.

If you, like me, couldn’t move past these issues but still want(ed) to enjoy the characters and universe, I have a solution for you!  Here is the most magnificent series rewrite I have ever seen in my life, and as far as I am concerned the One True Merlin Canon.  The link is to the Season 3 rewrite, which is where it goes hard AU and solves a lot of problems. 

In conclusion: fuck this noise, everyone go watch Legend of the Sword instead, @Guy Ritchie please make at least one sequel.

[captusmomentum]

Excessively detailed asks: 1-19 odds only for Inan, 20-38 evens only for Tace plz :D

fuck me running this is a lot OKAY HERE WE GOOOOOO

INANALLAS

(heads up the pronouns are gonna jump around here bc inan uses they//them and she/her so hopefully doesn’t get too confusing rip)

1. What does their bedroom look like?

Surprisingly Clean. They’re exactly the type you’d expect to be super messy but thanks to living in such small spaces like aravals all their life they’re very good about keeping things in come kind of order. This stands even for modern verses, they’re very good about it. In verses they’re inquisitor they actually rearrange the room a lot, putting their bed on the balcony and making the main floor more of an office/living room as well as creating panels to help block out some of that sun bc HOLY SHIT WINDOWS, they also have a panel set to block the view of the bed which is really just wedged between it and the railing. The little bed alcove is very cozy and the main floor is much more functional and better for have friends up :D In modern aus, like say amd, they’re one of those people who’re like ‘ live in an apartment that’s only 90ft big :D’ and when they show you how it’s like part science miracle and part acrobatics bonanza. Like look at any tiny home or tiny apartment type show/place/thing and thats’ how they Roll. Mainly bc they’re fucking Broke AF, creative/innovative and well trained by dalish life for it. So bedrooms are usually like, lofts and shit like that which can mean it’s not much more than the essentials of Snoozing. 

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?They do! Inan works out pm everyday in pm every verse. Their style of magic is very, very very physical so it requires a lot of working out and training even in verses where they’re not constantly murdering ppl like canon ones they gotta get diesel for magic. In most verses they primarily do a variety of martial arts (or just one elf/dalish one? depends on how deep into worldbuilding you wanna get here honestly) and then things like running, weight lifting general kinda fitness exercise things. I imagine in modern verses and such (maybe more canon ones too tf do i know) that places like Arlathvhen’s there’s like, a sort of pow wow/olympics type event that goes on and clans have people representing them and Lath was disqualified for cheating bc she’s Weak in the temptation of Victory so Inan is the Obligatory Contender in at least some of the mage events, usually like, dueling bc it’s ironically her specialty. So she really does have to stay sharp when in verses where there’s no fighting bc she’s gotta bring home gold for clan Lavellan. 

(if u wanna get a sense of how inan fights it’s a LOT like pm anyone from avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra especially Korra and Katara(atla) )(apologies about the katara vid and that shit music there’s So Little out there sobs)5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

Inan isn’t the most organized or together person which is combined w/ their dalish upbringing is why they’re Hyper Organized. Things have places and they go there ALWAYS otherwise they’ll never be found again ever. Also lots of labels. Their own living spaces are more organized than their work spaces, generally bc other ppl touch things or put things on their desk. Every time someone touches their things they have a small heart attack bc it means that something CRITICAL might have been moved and will never be found again. Seriously they are held together only by the power of their aesthetically pleasing organization and labeling. So school is Really Fun in modern aus (read: i’ve considered having them be a high school dropout for Various Reasons).7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

They Dream of wasting time. They Long to waste time. Everyday they pray they can waste time. Usually a lot of her time goes into things like Clan Stuff, Magic Stuff and Work Stuff so any chance they get to dick off they do. They fave method in modern verses is tv or youtube but in canon-y verses its Tavern w/ Bull or Tavern w/ Sera, the 2 people most likely 2 not call her out for Ditching Shit. Drinking w/ Dorian and/or Varric is very high on the list in all verses.9.Makeup?

Naaaahhhhhhhhhh. Generally too lazy for it and doesn’t like feeling of it on her face. Also it’s a real Bitch bc she’s always got tats on like 70-90% of her face and freckles (which she actually likes) so like foundation’s a Nah but you can’t do things like cover her dark circles w/o foundation otherwise the difference is Too Obvious like it’s just a Disaster. She can be convinced to wear it at special events and things but someone else has gotta do it. 

11. Intellectual pursuits?Some and very disorganized. Generally answering any Burning Mystical Questions they have regardless of worth or importance, debating (fighting) about topics involving analysis in books and things, Fade Stuff, Learning Elvhen. They don’t really actively pursue a lot of things bc they’re doing so much shit normally, they really only pursue it when the interest strikes. Also, proving that the occult is Real and Valid.13.Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?hoooooooooo boy dksjlgjfdsgfk, pansexual demisexual/grey-asexual is probably the best description. they don’t know they just like people and they don’t think about it they don’t think about Sex Stuff or ppls orientations it’s all W/E IDK and while they’re not prudish or squeamish about it they will run screaming for the hills things get too raunchy. Sex –especially sex involving them– has them looking for the nearest exit, not necessarily bc they’re sex repulsed but they are Extremely Anxious and Scared of interpersonal interaction so kissing is yiKESSSSSSSSSSSSS15.Biggest and smallest short term goal?Hmmmmm that’s really hard. Biggest is usually like: Not Die. Smallest is something like: whatever is next on to do list. They live a life of unnecessary extremes. 17.Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dressGoth mori/strega fashion vibes. Lots of skirts and layers and looking very much like a peasant wizard. Usually they just dress for the weather and put on as many layers as they can to feel safe and protected (and snuggly). There’s a lot of similarities in their logic about it with Uthvir but with miles of soft fabrics instead of spikes. Usually darker colors with an emphasis on blues. There’s not too much in the way of ritual around it since they’ve tailored their wardrobe so they can grab things put them on, and look good w/o any real effort.

 here’s the for inan fashion stuff 

19.What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Usually they go through a very specific ritual when going to sleep since they’re a dreamer to help keep that shit on lock which involves a lot of emptying of the mind and relaxing and preparing to deal with Fade Shit. If they don’t it’s just existential dread, anxiety and depression shit and panic. So they don’t not do the thing…….

TACE

20.Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?Tace wasn’t really sick much more than the normal amount and kinds as a kid and was the kind who conks out the whole time and doesn’t say, try to get up and play. As he got older and his dreamer abilities started to kick in he reacted to it like someone who was very sick, fevers, hot and cold, sweating. slept too much or not enough. He began to have trouble keeping food down and lacking an appetite which he still has problems with to this day along with sleep trouble and exhaustion. 22.Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?either doodles of dicks and such or a rude, raunchy or somehow unacceptable letter to someone whether he knew them or not he wrote for a laugh with no intention of sending. He’s very mature24.Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?He actually excels in a lot of things, he’s a pretty gifted mage. He just Hates the Circle and all that academia type shit so regardless of his skill in them he doesn’t want to do them. He thinks intellectual pursuits are on a whole a waste of time because they’re mainly just there to make people feel more important and fancy.26.Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?NOPE. NONE. past maybe ‘consult with that statue of Eleni Zinovia back in Ferelden about what to do w/ my life’ and ‘get a boyfriend’. 28.Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?hoooooo that’s Rough. Probably Banal though he’s more a father figure. He wasn’t very close to his other mages and hated the templars. Later when he meets Keshet and Shalev I guess they become his best friends which is...... very gay and lame.

Worst Enemy is Cullen and Meredith but Meredith is dead so fuck youuuuuuuu Culllleeennnnnnnn.30.Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)Boy This Sucks [Drinks like a monster even more than usual] 

he’s pretty desensitized to tragedy but also a shambling mess so it’s really just his usual self but like 1000000000000000% worse for a while

32.Thoughts on material possessions in general?

MORE PLEASE. he loves shit give him all the stuff he wants to lounge in a gaudy parlor on a opulent chaise. He never got to have much in the way of possessions in the circle so he lots shit now. also he’s just a material little shit.

34.Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)He doesn’t care about other people’s privacy pretty much at all and loves getting into people’s shit but he’s VERY intense about his own privacy. He’s deeply protective of himself and his things and privacy. So he’s a wildly hypocritical guy.36.What makes them feel guilty?Not fucking much. He occasionally feels bad about how he’s treated someone but it’s not often and he’d never say it out loud. just kinda adds it to the pile of fuel for self-loathing.38.Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

He’d be a Type A if it weren’t how his life has gone so I guess he’s like, a burnout Type A. 

[triptaech]

28 with taehyung? Like he comes to visit Jimin's apartment (or anyone else) but he walked into yours? Bc maybe you forgot to lock it or whatever? Something like that

#28. knocking on the wrong door au1.2k words

a/n: this gave me a toothache smh 

Taehyung has pictured this scenario before — many times, in fact. But couples in movies and romantic novels made it all the more enticing with the possibility of walking into the wrong apartment and seeing the exquisite sight of someone incredibly beautiful, fresh out of the shower, towel wrapped around their body with water droplets rolling down the smoothness of their skin. He imagined steam filling the room, wrapping around them like silk, giving the sexiest aura that would probably have his dick twitching in his pants. That’s what he always imagined at least.

Jimin had managed to convince him to help him settle in his new home, one he was about to share with Hoseok. And by convince, he meant bring up the fact that Taehyung had once spilled red wine all over Jimin’s white pants during Hoseok’s family dinner and never let him live it down (“dude that was two years ago. two.” “does hoseok still tease me about having periods? yes.” ) Thus, Taehyung was up at the ass crack of dawn (it wasn’t, it was 9 am but Taehyung never woke up before 12 on weekends).

He was so sure he had gotten the number written down right, so when he arrived at the apartment, knocking on the door to find no answer, he had swung it open. He and Jimin had no boundaries (except when Hoseok was around because that meant that Taehyung had to risk his being traumatized to blindness with seeing his best friend having wild monkey sex with his other best friend). He was expecting to find Jimin crouching and grumbling over all the unpacking that he has to do, but was more than pleasantly surprised to meet the gaze of a woman, admittedly adorable beyond belief, with the cutest pajamas that covered her toes and gave her sweater paws, with flour and chocolate dotting her face. Her hair a bird’s nest on top of her head, her eyes still hazy with sleep.

And Taehyung has never seen a sexier sight.

You seemed a little lost in the midst of the situation, tilting your head to the side cutely (it made Taehyung want to grab your face and just kiss the confusion out of you). “You’re not the maintenance guy.”

“I’m definitely not,” he blinked. His curious eyes couldn’t help but glance at the little hint of cleavage peeking out from the collar of your pajamas before he flicked his focus back up to meet your eyes. “But I can help you out if you need something.”

“Um,” you paused. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” He asked again, clearly in disbelief considering the state of being you were in. He was even more alarmed by the fact that you weren’t alarmed by a stranger’s presence in your room. “You don’t look too good.”

“I was baking,” you stated matter of factly. “It sort of exploded.”

“Exploded…”

“Exploded.” You confirmed, huffing quietly. “The oven has always been a little glitchy but I didn’t think it’d be today of all days.”

“Why are you baking at nine in the morning if I may ask?”

“New neighbors moved in next door, I wanted to—oh.” You paused, eyes now wide in shock as a hand flew up to cover your mouth. “Are you my new neighbor? Oh God, this is a terrible first impression. I’m so, so sorry.”

Taehyung’s lips twitched in amusement. “Don’t worry about it, it’s really no big deal.”

“Oh God,” you groaned, wincing and tugging on the hem of your pajamas. “I look like a trainwreck right now. I have a massive hangover and oh—”

He laughed, the sound bouncing off the walls and tingling down your spine. Your rambling halted as you stopped to appreciate the deep, vibrating bass of his voice. The happiness that he radiated seem to diffuse through the room, infecting you with little bits of good vibe in spite of the pounding in your head. “Don’t worry, I’m not your new neighbor. I’m just helping out a friend here. And you really don’t look like a trainwreck. You’re cute.”

The compliment had pink dusting your cheeks as you shifted on the balls of your feet. So, so precious. Taehyung wanted to squish you. “O-Oh, thank goodness then. I just—I mean, you’re so cute and I didn’t mean to scare you.” It was mortifying enough that you had bags under your eyes after the alcohol took away most of your sleep. The most good looking guy on the planet just had to walk into the wrong apartment at the wrong time. If he gave you a heads up, you’d at least put on a good set of pajamas instead of the fluffy cotton ones you had with rubber ducks printed on them.

Taehyung stepped closer, face inching towards yours as his nose brushed against yours teasingly. “You think I’m cute?”

You backed away slightly at the sudden proximity, finding the distance suffocating with the pressure of his charisma cornering you. You looked offended at the question though, scoffing. “Of course! Any person would.”

“I’m more flattered that you think so,” Taehyung smiled, chocolate eyes twinkling with delight. “I think you’re even cuter.”

Before you could reply, a storm of orange came barging through the door, the storm’s hand catching the taller boy’s ear angrily. “Kim Taehyung! What did I tell you about coming into people’s places without knocking?”

“A-Ah!” The taller boy, Taehyung, yelped, whining as he attempted to pry his friend’s fingers off his ear. “That hurts! I did knock! You gave me the wrong room number.”

“I did?” Shorter boy said, his expression morphing into one of guilt as he released his friend. “Oops.” It was then that he turned his soft gaze towards you, the remorse written into the lines of his irises. “I’m so, so sorry. I messed up and I didn’t mean to just intrude. God, I’m making a terrible impression already.”

You had been too dumbfounded by the presence of two beautiful specimen standing in your living room, practically glittering underneath the cheap bulbs of your apartment, to realize that the shorter one had said something. While he looked more cherubic and adorable, Taehyung looked a little more rugged with his wolfish smile and infectious laughter. “Um, it’s fine. I’m sorry too.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry!” The guy said, catching your hands in his. Oh lord. “I’m Park Jimin. I just moved into the flat next to yours, my boyfriend will be here in a few days, and I apologize that this is your first impression of us. This is—”

Taehyung scoffed, slipping in between the two of you and nudging Jimin away to shake your hand before bringing it up to his lips for a soft kiss on the back of it, earning the red that splashed across your cheeks. “I can introduce myself, thank you very much. Kim Taehyung. Resident cutie at your service.” Jimin rolled his eyes. You stammered out your own name before Jimin dragged an unwilling Taehyung out the door.

But not before he yelled out, “Drop by later! Jimin’s oven is the bomb and I really, really want your number! — Jesus, Jiminnie, you’re ripping my ear off!” ( “stoP FLIRTING WITH MY NEIGHBOR” ).

“Hey,” Taehyung started when the two of you were curled up on the couch. “Next time, when I ‘accidentally’ come into your apartment. Can you be naked?”

“Tae, what the fuck?”

“Fulfill my fantasies! Convince me that romance movies aren’t a lie!”

“Tae, they are lies.”

“Not to me. Let’s get your cute little booty naked.”

“Oh my God.”