#putting it here because gir mentioned i guess

[homeoftheslaughteringratpeople]

character perfumes will never not be funny to me. i get that the ideas behind the smells are more to evoke the general idea of a character

but every time i see one i think, what if you bottled what they actually smell like. i saw an old gir invaderzim perfume on mercari forever ago and i think spraying "distilled essence of gir" would create a noxious stink field around a person

[satirn]

i thought what i said here needed its own post. idk im being insane.

transcription:

[ "i think people are missing out with like, not associating dib with like, the mother mary or somthing like that. cus like, dibー well yes, gir calls dib mary a lot, we know that, its kind of like a little thing. But like, i think its such like a neat little like, like "happy little accidents" or whatever the term is called. Beautiful consequence, because like, dib being assosiated with like, mother mary is like, a interesting thing. cus like, number 1. its like a spongechrist momento thing-y, whatever. And also its just like, dib being assosiated with like motherhood and like, women i guess, is neat.

i think people are missing out by not doing that. same thing with dib being like, spiritual or whatever, yeah.

Also, also, mother mary's color is blue, thats why old wedding dresses, i knowーlike in Europe or whateverー used to be blue to mimic the virgin mary. i dont know, i think it was cool dib is also colored blue. i think that'd be cool if people like, recognized that more, that he was like, her I guess, i dont know.

especially cus like, dib has no mom, we know this. their mom is never mentioned and implied dead i think. So him being that would be like, i think would be an interesting way to kinda round that out back to him. and just like, being that for himself i guess and for gaz maybe, i dont know.

people need to put more like, symbolism or stuff like that into their works I think. i mean, its not a requirement but i think it'd be cooler for people if they did that, i dont know.

that being said, you should listen to the mary magdalene album by fka twigs. it's a neat album. its good." ]

also the image at the end i made.

[oftenderweapons]

YOOOOO ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYY🥳🥳🥳🥳 that is all sending a big hug

YOOOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATEEEEE!!!!! Congrats, you have won Loyal Reader extra points, I have this commission you asked a century ago so yeah, happy bday sweets

Pairing: Namjoon x reader (nicknamed Vixen)

Wordcount: 1.8k

Genre: smut, basically pwp, mild angst

Rating: 18+ I DON’T WANT TO SEE ANY MINOR CLICKING ON THAT “READ MORE”, ARE WE CLEAR?

Trigger warnings: swearing, hard domme!Vixen, brat!Vixen, hard sub!Joon, strip-tease!Vixen, bondage, vibrating cockring, dildo, overstimulation (male receiving), daddy kink, mention of gagging (with panties), mention of porn, voyeurism and exhibitionism, cumplay, suspension of powerplay. And Switch!Joon, i guess, too. Very unprotected activities USE CONDOMS!!! Don’t eat cum unless the other person/people can prove they’re clean.

“My hands, please. I’m sorry,” Namjoon whined, breathing through his mouth, his chest gluttonously naked, your lipstick marking it here and there. “Vixen, baby.”

“No.” You spoke it with a smile, gathering some saliva in your mouth, your head ten miles ahead of you, already planning what to do after you got up from your legs-spread-bent-over-ass-right-in-front-of-his-eyes position.

He had been whimpering since the moment you found out he wanted you to go cougar on him.

And he’d enjoyed being the prey for once — however, technically, even though you always let him take control, he knew he wasn’t preying on an innocent lamb. You were his vicious fox even when you submitted to him.

“Vixen.” It was cruel. Feet? Bound. Hands? Bound. Dick? Very fucking trapped in a very fucking vibrating cockring.

“Do you need my panties in your mouth to stay quiet?” You rolled your eyes at the fact that you had to swallow and change your plans because he couldn’t for the love of him keep his mouth shut.

“But I’m gonna cum.”

You kneeled on the floor and smiled. “Not my problem.”

He sobbed and threw his head back. “Come on. How fucking long has it been, three hours?”

“Based on my playlist, only six minutes.” You loosened his necktie — currently around your neck — and undid the first couple buttons on his shirt — which of course you were wearing rather sluttily. And that little plaid skirt? The one he always teased you about when he gave you assignments and tests?

He was regretting it now. A lot. It slipped down your legs so torturously as you stood, planting a foot between his parted legs.

He stared at it — at the Louboutins he had bought you after you spent one entire weekend oversexing him — and regretted them too.

You cocked an eyebrow and forced him to look at you. “Still thinking about that stripper?”

“Which one?”

You smirked. The answer was, after all, correct. “I don’t know if I should be happy you forgot or be worried about you seeing way too many of them.”

“It was just porn. Come on. You know I belong to you. Head to toe—” He shivered his glutes flexing a couple times before he growled and arched all the way, his orgasm spilling over his stomach and abdomen. “Fuck— Fuck, fuck, fuck, Vixen!”

“Language,” you chirped, slipping three fingers into his open mouth and pressing his tongue down, drool dripping out causing you to smirk and giggle. “Such a sorry mess.”

He hummed, his hips still swirling as he still tried to find some relief.

You took a step back, wiping your hand against your mouth, Namjoon whimpering as the vibrations didn’t stop. “Switch it off!”

“What? The music?” You tugged the necktie off you, eyes on him as you faked realisation. “Oh! You mean the lights!”

“Don’t you dare act all that smug. Don’t you—”

“Can’t hear you,” you spoke back, undoing the buttons slowly, shrugging off the shirt and turning around, dropping to the floor, grabbing your ass and squeezing it as you rotated your hips slowly, kneeling forward on your elbows, crawling forward until your arms adhered entirely to the floor, your back fully arched as your cheek met the floor.

“Touch yourself,” he growled darkly and needily.

“Do I need to remind you who’s in charge?” You sneered as you turned around to look at him. He had recovered from his post-orgasmic blues and sensitivity and was well on his way to a second high.

So you stood up and turned to face him. The remote to the toy was safely strapped between your breasts, hooked on your bra. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

“Vixen.” He loved how flawless your evil plan was. You had designed it to make him livid. And it was unwillingly playing out to the T. Knowing you, he realised you had probably calculated him being obnoxiously talkative.

He tried his theory. “Come over here.”

You were entirely lost in the music, eyes closed, jamming to it almost naked in front of your tied up boyfriend. Well, fiance. “Or what?”

“You damn brat—”

“Are you gonna spank me, daddy?” you taunted him coquettishly. The laugh that followed had Namjoon considering whether he made the greatest mistake of his life by getting addicted to you.

“I swear, if I get my hands on you—” he said, his voice raspy.

“I’m wondering how that is going to happen…” you mused, still moving to the beat of the music, the swaying of your hips reminding him why he always let you ride him that much.

He shrugged and shook his head, a drip of precum reminding him he was definitely overestimating his liberties. “I won’t be tied up forever.”

“I can lock myself in the guestroom,” you reminded him.

“But you can’t stay locked in there forever,” he replied with a sadistic smirk.

One more shrug before you lowered the vibrations — he was enjoying the toy way too much. “Too bad you’re a workaholic and I’m alone most of the time I’m in here.”

He kept a straight face at the stimulation fading, but he was not as serene about the reminder. “I’ll work from home.”

“Don’t bother yourself for me.”

Your remark poisoned him. “Come over here, babylove. Please.”

You obeyed. Not without grabbing the dildo that had been mocking Namjoon from the very first second of your striptease. He knew you would fuck yourself with it and keep him salivating, watching.

You placed it between his legs and kneeled, untying his ankles. “Keep it still.”

“Please, Vixen.” He wouldn’t be able to stand that.

You shook your head. “Maybe you don’t get it yet, but you must do what I tell you.”

He followed your instructions and stayed quiet. He watched you drool all over the toy before you collected his sticky cum with your fingers. You observed your fingertips for a second, then drew the tip of the silicone cock.

“Miss.”

You looked at him. His eyes were darker, his face more relaxed, no scrunching or pouting or begging. “Yes, Joonie bear.”

“Are you going to lick that, miss?” He had given up. He had pushed you too far.

“What would you like me to lick, Joonie? The dildo? Your cum on my fingers?” Your voice was more gentle and calm this time, no mocking in sight.

“The cum.”

You didn’t think twice. You licked your fingers clean, then straddled Namjoon comfortably, holding the toy as you tried to insert it.

“Doesn’t it hurt, Miss?”

You smiled. This was the submissive you wanted from the start. “It feels just fine, Joonie bear.” He was drenched in sweat, and you had to push his hair off his face to look him in the eye properly. You kissed his jaw, eyes rolling shut as the toy — significantly smaller than Namjoon — slipped in effortlessly. “I'm sorry I was mean to you, love.”

“It's okay.” Seeing him from this up close, so tired and weak, softened you a little.

“I said bad things about your job. I didn't mean it.” You pressed your lips to his, and he whimpered into your mouth, moving the dildo as he shifted for relief. “Do you need me to slow down? Are you still into this, baby?”

“Yes, I'm feeling good, Miss. Please, use me.” He looked so broken. “Use me.” This time he was truly begging.

“Can I use the toy just once? I'll use you afterwards, I promise, darling.” You stretched to kiss his brow. “I promise.”

He nodded, speechless, his head falling to the crook of your neck as he smelled the way his cologne changed as it mixed with your perspiration. It was more opulent and decadent, it became more exotic and dark, almost sweet.

“I wanna put the vibrations on max so I can press your ring to my clit and cum like that.”

He stretched to your mouth. “Please, do it.” He licked your jaw, his arms twitching. He would have grabbed your ass if he were free. He would have helped you grind on him, on the toy, on whatever.

You changed the setting quickly, feeling Namjoon exhale against you, slowly, his breath so cool on your burning skin. “I'm gonna cum again. I'm not sure I can fuck you after that, if that's what you were thinking.”

“You can,” you reassured him. “I'll give you a pause and fuck your face in the meantime.”

He cackled. “That's what I meant by 'use me'”. He groaned once you grabbed his cock, fixing its angle so that the knob of the ring rested on your clit perfectly. “Are we still power playing?”

You shook your head. “We're back to us if you want to.”

He nodded. “I want to.” You both hummed as you started undulating a little on him. Your tummy stroked his sex, the ring took care of your clit, your front adhered to his as you abandoned your body on top of his. “It was fun. But extenuating. I miss my daddy.” You kissed his neck, nipping at it very lightly.

“Daddy's always here, Vixen. Always yours.” He recognised your approaching high. Maybe you would be faster than him and—

There. You were done. Your thighs tightened all of a sudden, your body tensed for maybe five seconds before it all came loose. “Joonie,” you whined out, relief washing over you as you found the utmost pleasure. “Daddy,” you called, Namjoon fighting against the manacles restricting his wrists.

“I'm here, baby. I just need my wrists free, baby fox.”

You stayed loose and lazy for half a second before switching off the toy. Namjoon sighed in relief, your body once more abandoned against his. “Baby fox, free my wrists, please.”

You did as you were told, your hands skillfully operating without you even looking.

“Good girl,” he rewarded you as you undid the first cuff. He stayed still until they both plopped onto the comfy pillow of the armchair. “Get off that toy, babylove. Now.”

You lifted high enough for him to remove the dildo from inside you.

“I told you I would destroy you once you'd free me. Am I correct?”

You looked up at him. And there it was, that little cocky grin. “You said you would spank me.”

“I did not. I let you believe it.”

You faked outrage as you unglued yourself from him and stared. “Unfair!”

He pulled you closer and slid inside you, almost impaling you. “Fuck!” you squeaked before he grabbed your face.

“What?”

“Fuck,” you spat out. “Me,” you added, a look of challenge in your face.

He grabbed the back of your thighs and next thing you knew, your back was pressed to the wall, his hot chest against yours. “Hold on tight.”

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Lieutenant Badass - Stella Kidd x Fem!Reader - Chicago Fire

Request: Can you do one where reader is a lieutenant at another firehouse and takes over for Casey cause he’s injured and Stella having a crush on her and Brett and Gianna trying to get Stella to ask reader out?

A/n: Because that season 2 storyline with Casey’s head trauma hasn’t been mentioned again until potentially 9x09?

You didn’t expect to be called in as a floater to take over for Captain Matt Casey of all people.

But he’d been warned in the past that head injuries could be lethal or fatal depending on the bleed.

It was Chief Boden that called for you after Stella accidently mentioned she thought you’d be helpful for Girls on Fire and listed some of your accomplishments she’d seen on the news.

Brett and Mackey just stared at her as she stared at the chief, wide-eyed and jaw hanging open as she realised Boden had actually called you in from your firehouse.

Lieutenant Y/n S/n.

One of the very few female lieutenants in the CFD.

Stella thought you were badass but only admitted to Brett that she found you attractive as well, especially after she and Kelly had moved on from each other.

“Oh my god it’s Lieutenant Badass.” Brett murmured to Mackey who just stared at Brett.

“What?”

“I think it’ll be more subtle if we call her by her actual name and not the name Stella put S/n as in her phone.” Gianna affirmed, leaving Brett to pause.

“Yeah... might make Stella’s massive crush less obvious, we should save her, she’s having a gay panic over S/n.” Brett realised, leaving her and Mackey to hurry over to where Stella was.

Firehouse 51 had a lot more of a family atmosphere than your other house ever did. They were all welcoming to you, except you couldn’t work out what you had done for Stella, Sylvie and Gianna to be avoiding you at every opportunity.

“You alright, S/n?” Ritter enquired, watching you leaning on the doorframe as you stared into space.

“I just, did I do something for Kidd, Brett and Mackey to be avoiding? I guess that if they don’t want me here I can just ask Chief Boden to call in someone else as floater.” You replied, unfolding your arms as you avoided the concerned looks of Gallo and Ritter at that.

“I didn’t even notice but now that you think about it, those three keep running off whenever you’re around.” Ritter realised, grimacing at the look on your face.

“Either way, shift’s about over. It was really nice to meet you both.” You smiled, shaking their hands before you headed towards the locker room.

“You need to talk to Mackey, now, tell her what S/n just told us!” Ritter whisper-yelled to Gallo, who nodded with a determined look in his eye.

“Mackey, I need to talk to you!”

“What’s up Gallo?” Gianna enquired, tilting her head to the side with a smile but Gallo brushed off it off.

“For whatever reason you three are avoiding S/n, you need to sort it out. She thinks she’s done something wrong and is going to ask Boden to call in another floater next shift!” Gallo explained, leaving Brett and Mackey to gasp as Stella froze.

“No, no, no, it’s the opposite-” Brett began, but Stella interrupted.

“I need to ask her out!”

“What?” Gallo frowned but Mackey just shook her head at him, turning to face Stella.

“You barely were able to talk to her-”

“Screw it! I’m going, this is my last chance!” Stella exclaimed, heading out to go find you.

“You got it, girl!”

“You can do it Stella!”

“What the hell just happened?” Gallo exclaimed as Ritter walked over with shrug.

////

“Y/n! Y/n! Wait up! Jeez you’re fast!”

You were about to open the car door when Stella Kidd sprinted over to you, her hand closing the car door as she took a breath.

“Are you okay?” Your hand went to her shoulder, hovering above it before eventually your fingers relaxed on her bomber jacket.

“I mean, I’m a bit warm but either your car engine is on or it’s all you, hot stuff.” Stella replied, making your eyes widen.

“Or it was you sprinting over here? Y’know, now that you’re not avoiding me, I can say that I think you’re stunning and a badass, y’know, you’re running Girls on Fire, which is an amazing programme!” You replied, smiling as Stella grinned at your compliment.

“What do you say about getting drinks tonight?” 

“Uh, I’d say what time as I was going to go see a movie on my own, I’d ask if you wanted to come but I don’t know-”

“What movie?”

“Black Widow.” You chewed your lip, watching Stella think about it.

“I’ll watch the trailer on my phone whilst we’re queuing but I have seen some Marvel movies.” Stella explained, watching you lean against your car in thought.

“Were you avoiding me all day because you wanted to ask me out?” 

Stella’s head perked up as she heard how soft your voice was as you asked that.

“Gallo told us what you told him and Ritter. I’m sorry I made you feel unwelcome. Avoiding you wasn’t what I wanted to do at all, I actually wanted to do this...” Stella trailed off, making you frown.

“Do what?”

Your eyes widened as Stella leaned closer to you, waiting for a moment for you to consent, smiling slightly as you gave her a curt nod.

You weren’t sure who from 51 was cheering but your focus was on Stella as the two of you kissed for a few moments as you pulled away.

“Uh, any further and you’re going to end up buying dinner. I’ll meet you at the cinema?” You asked, nodding your head at Stella’s truck.

Stella’s eyes were on her truck as you kissed her cheek, quickly slipping into your car.

“Hurry up, hotstuff or I’ll beat you there!” You teased, leaving Stella to let out a gasp before she hurried over to her truck, dodging Mackey and Brett as they just stuck their thumbs up in support.

[tloujm]

Part XI: Are We OK?

Author’s Notes: As mentioned in the first paragraph, this takes place a month after the last chapter. Speaking of the last chapter, this one was kind of difficult for me to write as well. Trying to tap into that vulnerable, emotional Joel, when we really didn’t see that until TLOU 2, wasn’t as easy as I thought. And Naughty Dog barely gave us that side of him before they killed him off so...I’m down for straying away from canon, but I wish there was more Joel material to go off of. Maybe if we cry loud enough, Naughty Dog will hear us and we’ll get a DLC with more flashbacks in like 7 years. I already got it planned out, the next chapter will have a new genre, HORROR, just in time for Halloween, then I’ll get back to the smoother-you-with-romance Joel x Reader. 

Genre: An order of Joel Miller, heavy on the angst, with a side of fluff, hold the smut.

Summary: You and Joel find out if the two of you are expecting. Jackson is introduced to a strange newcomer

Ship: Joel x Reader

A month and some change had gone by which meant that you were late. Life had gotten particularly busy, so you didn’t notice how fast time was flying, but Joel did. He knew you were late, but he wanted to see if you would bring it up first. 

“How you feelin’?” Joel asked, gently nudging your shoulder as the two of you walked together.

“I’m fine.” You answered. It was your default answer, but after realizing that he was still looking at you, reading your face, you understood what he meant. Throughout the month he would dote on you a little extra to make sure you weren’t feeling faint or nauseous. “I really am fine, Joel. I haven’t gotten my period yet, though.”

“Ok.” He said as he breathed out. He looked forward with those doe eyes.

“That doesn’t mean anything yet. My periods were never really consistent in the first place. Let’s just wait a little longer and see.” What you said was true, but you also weren’t sure if you were ready to admit to yourself the possibility of having a life inside you. 

Joel took your hand in his and gave it a squeeze. “Ok.”

One day while out on patrol, Joel convinced his group to make a detour and check out a small plaza. It had a boutique, veterinary office, post office and, most importantly, a pharmacy. While the others started at the boutique to find new clothes, Joel snuck off to get a head start at the pharmacy. He secured the location before pacing up and down the aisles. His eyes bounced around the shelves as his hands randomly skimmed the items on them. They have to be here, he thought. It's not like they were in high demand during a pandemic. Soon enough, he’d found what he was looking for and stuffed his bag with a few boxes just as the group was catching up with him. Joel explained away his departure with ease and joined in scavenging for medical goods. 

As soon as they’d passed through Jackson’s gates, Joel bee lined it to your house. He let himself in as he usually did and called out your name. He wasn’t sure if you were home but he was too anxious to try and track you down. Luckily, your footsteps were heard from the other room. He waited as patiently as he could for you to meet him in the living room. 

“You’re back!” You exclaimed. “What happened out there? I thought you were going to be back in time for lunch.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. We stopped at some small plaza. It was off-map.”

“I hope you guys found some good stuff.” You commented while throwing on your jacket.

“Yeah, we did.” He quickly replied before furrowing his brows. “You going somewhere?”

You nodded. “I was gonna go help Wendy out again today. You can come too, but It’s ok if you’re too tired. I know you just got back.”

“(Y/N),” He began, leaving your name to hang in the air with suspense. He slid his backpack off of his shoulders and dug around for the contents that he found at the pharmacy. 

“What’s wrong?” You noticed the strange look on Joel’s face. Mind racing, you grew afraid of what he was going to pull out. You watched as he placed three narrow boxes on your coffee table. You took a step closer to inspect them.

“There was a pharmacy there, so I figured why wait and see when we can know now.” His voice was as casual as ever, but he gazed at you with those pleading, doe eyes that you were still growing used to. Your own eyes bounced between him and the items on the table. You read the single word on the face of the boxes with its pretty, pink font, “Pregnancy”. By the picture of the stick, you already knew what it was, but the “P” word was unavoidable. 

“Joel,” You started softly. “I started my period. I didn’t notice until after you left this morning for patrol.”

“Oh.” He looked between the tests and your shoes, avoiding eye contact.

“It probably just came late because of stress; you know living in this world ain’t a piece of cake.” You awkwardly chuckled to lighten the mood. “A cycle could be thrown off because of a change in diet. Different foods affect hormone balances. Or...or...um...when women spend time around each other, their cycles link up. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true because...um science.” You ramble on, trying to fill the silence.

He stopped you before you could speak again. “It’s ok, (Y/N). Guess we don’t need these.” He picked one of the tests up and inspected it before throwing it back in his bag. 

Joel focused on his actions after you told him the news. He didn’t want to seem disappointed. He’d be lying to himself if he said that he wasn’t, though. It was probably for the best, he thought to himself. He couldn’t imagine outliving another child or losing his love during childbirth. He scoffed at his own thoughts as he wished that storks delivering babies on doorsteps were a real thing. Maybe the two of you could share a pet. Joel made a note to put effort in befriending a stray cat or dog the next time he came across one.

You were more worried about Joel’s feelings than your own when you saw the dark red stains on your panties that morning. Neither one of you were explicitly against having a baby together, but you were afraid that he would get too comfortable with the idea of you actually being pregnant. You offered to stay in with him, but he declined and insisted that you go. He left out the door behind you and walked silently by your side until it was time for him to turn down his street. His eyes were focused on his front door, wanting nothing more than to walk through it and sink into the couch. Suddenly, he heard a voice speak up on the walkie-talkie. He had forgotten to put it back after patrol because he was so anxious to see you. The voice belonged to Dean, a watchtower guard and he sounded frantic as he called for help at the gate. Always having a radio on him, Joel knew that Tommy would have heard the message as well. Joel quickly turned on his heels and jogged up to the main gate of Jackson just in time to meet the other people who heard. Dean explained from the tower that there was a little girl on the other side of the gate covered in blood. She was unresponsive when he questioned her. Dean didn’t know whether she was the bait in an ambush or just a lost little girl who needed help. Maria made the decision to open the gates. She stepped through first, followed by an armed Tommy and Joel. The two brothers kept their eyes peeled for signs of anything suspicious in the distance. Maria approached the child and tried to talk to her herself. She appeared to be in a catatonic state. Maria deduced that she had just experienced something extremely traumatic. Joel watched as Jackson’s leader gently reached out to check her body for any wounds, having been unsure if the blood was hers or not. The girl only looked past her, but didn’t flinch when touched. Joel holstered his gun before taking off his jacket to wrap it around her. Maria mouthed a thank you in his direction before ushering her into the settlement. 

Joel and Tommy decided to stay with Dean at the watchtower as a precaution just in case anyone was following her. Maria immediately walked the girl to the daycare center. She wanted to try again, but if there was anyone who could connect with a child, it was Wendy. 

You were bringing snacks into the play room for the kids when you heard faint voices coming from Wendy’s office. You slowed down as you passed in front of the cracked door. You recognized Maria’s voice. Wendy’s tone was soft and gentle which made you assume that a child was in there as well. What would Maria want with one of the kids? Did one of them get in trouble? You finished handing out the snacks when Maria entered the playroom.

“(Y/N).” Maria called out from the corner of the room. She gestured with her head for you to meet her. “We got a newcomer in today.” She began to slowly shake her head. “I don’t know what to make of her. She won’t talk to anybody. Wendy is in there currently trying. You’re trained in first aid right?” She asked.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m a nurse or anything.”

“Our only doctors are operating right now. You’re all we got.” She looked at you with pleading eyes. “I did a once over on her before bringing her in, but I’d appreciate it if you could look her over and make sure she’s alright.”

You looked back at the kids peacefully eating. “Let me get one of the older kids to look after them and I’ll go back there with you.” Maria nodded before watching you go outside to pull one of the big kids off the playground. 

“This way.” Maria guided you back towards Wendy’s office. You grabbed the basket full of uneaten snacks since the office was on its way to the kitchen.

“I’m assuming she’s a child.” You stated to which Maria nodded. “She showed up by herself?”

“As far as we can tell. Joel and Tommy are currently on lookout to see if she was followed. Dean said he found her approaching the gate covered in blood.”

“Jesus.” You exclaimed in a whisper. “When was this?”

“I just brought her over here from the gate.” Maria said before opening the office door for you.

Wendy was crouched down in front of the little girl, speaking to her in her softest tone. She remained standing after ignoring the older woman’s offer of a chair. Wendy turned to the two of you when she heard the door open. She seemed at a loss after making no more progress than she did when Maria left. You recognized the jacket wrapped around the child’s small frame and you expressed a tiny smile at the thought of Joel’s generosity. His clean, warm jacket was a stark contrast to the blood and grime covering her body. You walked up to her and sat the basket of food down at her feet. Silently, you picked up half of a grilled cheese and held it out for her to take. For a few moments, she did nothing but stand there. Her eyes were glued to some object past your head. Finally, she glanced down at the still warm sandwich in your hand and weakly reached out for it. She brought it up to her mouth and took a little, mousy bite. To help support the sandwich, she brought up her other hand to hold it, revealing that she was missing the last two fingers on that hand. You could tell by the redness that they were severed fairly recently. You would need to take a closer look, but it didn’t seem infected so far. You watched her for a moment before stepping back, giving her space to eat in peace. When she finished, she wiped the crumbs with the back of her hand and reverted back to her prior stance. Tenderly, you removed the jacket and circled around her to get a better look at her body. She was really skinny; probably nearing malnutrition. It made it difficult for you to estimate an age. Especially during developmental years, the lack of proper nutrients could stunt the growth of a child. Seeing how docile she was with the others, you confidently picked her up and sat her on a table that brought her to your height. There you took off her exterior layers to get a better look at her skin for wounds. Like Maria, you guessed that she had been traumatized. Seeing a child that you could only assume was born after the outbreak be put through so much was heartbreaking. After a more thorough check, you determined that none of the blood was hers. You were relieved to see that, but at the same time wondered what situation she had to have been in to get all of that on her. 

“You’re ok. You’re in a safe place, now.” You finally spoke to the girl. She made eye contact, but did not verbally acknowledge your words. “How would you like to get in a nice, warm bath and relax? I’m sure you came a long way to find yourself here. We can make you more grilled cheeses to eat when you get out.” You pleaded. Again, she was silent, but as if on cue, her stomach growled loud enough for everyone to hear. As if embarrassed, she looked down at her feet.

“I’ll get right on those grilled cheeses.” Wendy said, leaving her office. You took the girl’s hand and led her out as well. Maria followed you two to one of the bathrooms. You sat the girl on the toilet seat before Maria beckoned you to meet her at the doorway.

“I’m going to go check on the boys at the gate if you’re ok here.”

“Yeah, me and Wendy will be fine.” You glanced back at the little girl. To your surprise, she was watching you.

“Okay, good. Let me know if you need anything.” Maria said before stepping out.

The girl watched as you ran the water into the tub. Bubbles formed and steam floated off the surface of the water. It was enticing, even for you, especially since it was still winter. You helped her out of the rest of her clothes and walked her into the tub. You watched her face flinch as she adjusted to the temperature. 

For the next half an hour, you gave her a sponge bath and washed her hair. She was good as new by the time you were done with her. Before you brought her back into the office, you cleaned and bandaged the stubs on her left hand. Wendy brought the grilled cheese and tomato soup in so the girl could eat in peace. 

“It would be so much easier if we just knew what to call her.” Wendy spoke in an almost whisper as the two of you sat in the office with her. 

“Yeah.” You sighed. “It’s getting late and she’s probably tired.”

“Oh, I bet she is. She probably walked very far to get here. I’ll take her home with me tonight. We have that extra bedroom now and I think she’ll get along nicely with Kevin and Marnie. They’re about her age.” Wendy spoke about her adopted children. “Maybe she’ll feel more comfortable with someone her own age and open up with them.”

“Yeah?” You genuinely questioned.

“Worth a try.” Wendy shrugged, not knowing what else to do. “She just needs some time is all. She’ll see we’re good people soon enough and she’ll be playin’ with the rest of ‘em.”

You took her plate when she was done and checked on the rest of the kids before calling it a night. Your feet were accustomed to the path that took you to your house, but you really wanted to see Joel. Walking up the driveway, you noticed that all of the lights in the house were off. Still, you entered the house and called his name. You followed his voice and orange glow to the living room where he was sitting by the fire. You sat next to him on the floor and leaned your head on his shoulder. It was a cozy feeling. 

“I heard you were in the watchtower today.” You began.

He exhaled. “Yeah, me and Tommy and Dean. So you know about the girl?”

“I fed and bathed her. Maria brought her over to the daycare so I could take a look at her.”

“How was she, nurse (Y/L/N)?” He playfully asked.

“None of the blood was hers. No cuts. There were some bruises though. I hope she feels better now that she’s all cleaned up.” He grunted in approval before falling silent. “Are we okay?” You spoke up.

“’Course we are. Where is this coming from?” Joel asked.

“Well, when I told you I wasn’t pregnant---”

“It’s ok, (Y/N). I meant it when I said it wouldn’t change anything. I love you.”

You smiled. “I love you too and listen, I would be honored to have you as my baby daddy,” He chuckled. “But I don’t think I’m ready now. Are you?”

He gently nodded for a moment. “I think so, yeah.”

“You think you could wait for me? ‘Til I’m ready?”

“This is something I want only with you, so I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Oh is that so?” You teased. “I’ll be sure to remember that.

“Bet you will.”

[shadowofthelamp]

A list of Zim’s Schemes

This is mostly for my own use to figure out a ‘pattern’ of sorts so I can come up with ideas for Zim to be planning to feel authentic my own fics. Some were more implied as they’re mentioned offhandedly. I cut the ones that aren’t really ‘plottish’ relating to invading like Germs. I threw a couple of personal observations at the end. (Sorry to mobile people if the readmore doesn’t work)

SEASON 1

-Infiltrating a human school

-Using a human as a ‘friend’ to blend in

-Something to do with laser weasels

-Entering Dib’s body via mini-ship to mess with it and force Dib to get rid of evidence of him being an alien 

-Using the robo-parents as his ‘real parents’ to blend in

-Consuming human organs to be ‘more human’ and blend in

-Attempting to retrieve his ship from humans who had captured it- notable for having complete control of a crowd of humans that he didn’t brainwash and being uncomfortable with it

-Dropping a giant water balloon on Dib in retaliation for being basically tortured by water earlier in the episode

-Trying to figure out how to control the world’s population via fast food. (Considering his species seems really attached to junk food, not an unreasonable assumption)

-Saving the planet from Planet Jackers because it’s his to conquer/destroy.

-Something to do with shooting chickens into space after spinning them around

-Hypnotizing his schoolmates and using said hypnosis to force Dib to give him information about a weak spot in his security.

-Using time travel to erase Dib from existence

-Using a wormhole and moose to get rid of his bullying classmates, especially Dib

-Mutating a hamster to massive sizes, with the intent to make humans bow to him because they can’t resist its cuteness

-Tries to interrogate a baby, then dispatches with the Na’gok via stupidity ray

-Captures Dib who snuck into the base with the intent of performing horrible experiments on him

-Sell candy for a fundraiser to get the ‘mystery prize’

-Return movie to avoid suspicion by the FBI

-Turn Dib into bologna for setting off his allergies

-Find use for Mars, and then, use it to squish out all life on Earth

-Try to make Dib look bad on TV

-Sabotage the PEG to blow up the planet, after using a Dib robot to walk past security. (Probably one of his more elaborate plans. Why did he have a Dib robot, though? I can’t imagine he made it in the span of like... two hours.)

-Not Earth-related but go through extra training to get weapons

-While doing time field experiments on Dib, has to deal with the slow explosion

-Gets a giant stealth mech, immediately attempts to kill Dib with it

-Pumping cows full of sewage to taint the food supply

-Attempts to put GIR into defensive mode to make him more useful, changes a guy’s brain who sees him with a squid’s

-Puts Dib in some kind of virtual life simulator to make him admit he threw a muffin at him

-Stop Tak

_______

SEASON 2

-Controlling the Massive to get the Tallests to watch his plan about unleashing a brain-eating parasite on the humans

-Infecting the city with genetically enhanced vermin

-We never found out in Zim Eats Waffles, but he’s got a happiness-inducing brain probe (possibly for human slaves to make them more docile?) and a demon mutant cyborg squid, so that’s something

-Messes with Dibship and tries to get it to get rid of Dib

-Wants weapons from the ‘Plakoosians’, gets them. Also something to do with a globe stuffed in a fishbowl- maybe making the fish giant like Peepi, or shrinking the planet?

-Uses the skool election to try and gain power

-Packed Gir full of monkey explosives

-Pretends to be Santa to make humans obey him and build a teleporter to be beamed to the Tallests as slaves.

_______

MOVIE:

-Sit in a toilet for like a year to get Dib out of shape and even more obsessive than usual, then bring Earth to where the Tallests can’t ignore it.

_______

THOUGHTS

-Of these, three/four (depending on if you count Mysterious Mysteries where he tries to discredit Dib) were pretty much for the sole purpose of ‘blending in/appearing more human’. 

-Nine involve animals (ten if you count rubber piggies, I guess, eleven if you count the brain-eating parasite)

-Megadoomer, Bolognius, Dib’s WLOD, and objectively Mysterious Mysteries are all super petty.

-I was originally going to say The Wettening was petty too, but nah, he earned that. I still hold to my theory that that episode was a reworking of the pilot (the plot to both is ‘Zim discovers an allergy to an earth thing and Dib immediately tries to exploit it, leading to them both building machines to trying and get back at each other using the allergy thing) and it’s Dib at his most sadistic.

-One thing from the show bible that sticks with me is that a lot of plots could be derived from him taking what he hears other students/humans saying seriously, like someone mentioning cooties and him demanding more information on this strange disease. This is where Door to Door/Career Day/sort of FBI Warning especially come in.

-Utilizing gaps in his knowledge about humans (like babies being not a threat) can be used in tandem with that ^^^

-Zim is pretty competent when it comes to actually building things, he just doesn’t really think beyond whatever the next step of his plan is. IE: With Peepi, the idea of increasing the size of an Earth animal that seems to immobilize humans isn’t a bad one, but he didn’t think to brainwash said animal to listen to him. Or making an energy-absorbing blob, again without some kind of failsafe built in. 

-He also seems to enjoy experimenting on Earth animals, although that’s probably because it’s fun to play with alien stereotypes.

-He’s somewhat protective of Earth, in a possessive ‘only I get to destroy it’ way. He wants to impress the Tallest with this planet, and that means it needs to be in one piece long enough to get them here. He’s still totally willing to demolish parts of it if need be, though, see the Wettening or Hampstergeddon or Battle of the Planets.

-Oftentimes, his plans are prompted by something Dib did to either annoy or try to expose him.

[chaoartwork]

Zimvoid: Issue 2

Genre: multiverse, adventure, comedy, friendship

Characters: 2k, Palindrome, the Zims

Rated: G (Mild Violence)

Summary:Two people, each in their own alternate universe and are both the same Irken named “Zim”, respond to an Irken distress signal that leads them to travel into a vortex located on one of Earth’s ocean. This causes them to be trapped in a planet filled with their thousand alternate selves called the Zimvoid.

Given the world providing no major equipments, along with their Girs destroyed, and the Zimvoid having a hierarchical society, no Zim can figure out how the Zimvoid came to be and how to get back home.

As a result, when two Zims end up bumping into each other, they decide to partner up in a resistance group, attempt to recruit more Zims and take down the leader of the Zimvoid in order to find the source of its origin and find a way to get back home.

Based entirely on the Invader Zim comic arc “Battlevoid” (Issue 46-49)

Prologue:https://chaoartwork.tumblr.com/post/616874776757174272/zimvoid-prologue

Previous:https://chaoartwork.tumblr.com/post/617973015079272448/zimvoid-issue-1

Next:

He felt....ridiculous. What is even a point to this errand? Why did they make such a thing? Sure, it’s better than suffocating to death as a result of working in the boiler room. But now he feels like they are just mocking him because of how he looks. He can just be watching the other slaves, or check the sewage. But here he is. Standing behind a short column with only his head showing off. And given that he wearing glass bowl filled with water in order to breathe, he basically just looks like a fish bowl sitting on the column with a big fish swimming inside there.

At this point, he felt more like he was put as a decoration rather than an actual person. Is this what being a slave is even like? Even so, he gave an unamused expression. In fact, why is HE letting other versions of himself tell him what to do? If anything, HE should be the one ordering them. He is the real Zim after all, right? But he tried to forget the thought of doubts. He needs to find a way out of this void. And to do that, he needs to contact his servant. He glanced about to make sure any Zims nearby weren’t looking. He let his PAK open automatically to pull out a communicating device. He tried to not even think of what happened to him, given the “false” memory that still linger before he crashed in this crazy place.

He let the device get close to him. “Gir!” He whispered, “Zim here! At least your real Zim if you happened to bump into those people who claim to be the real me. If you haven’t, it’s better you stay away from them. They might lock you up for testing or...something more horrid.” He thought for a moment at that last comment. “Not....that i care either way....” He shook the thought out. “Anyhow! I’ve been captured by them. I’m located somewhere within some walls and they’re treating me like I’m some sort of slave. But i can’t seem to find a way out. There’s too many and using my PAK’s weapons would possibly be too risky, given how clever ‘mes’ there are.”

“So! What I want you to do is-“ “Hey there!” 2002 harshly flinches and immediately make the communicator float back into his PAK. He glanced about to who was calling him. “Psst! Up here!” The fish Zim blinked and looked up to see a Zim on top of a high ladder and easily reaching the ceiling. He was holding a spatula for some odd reason with some stuff on the ceiling that look sticky with different colors. Strangely enough, he looks just like a regular Zim. Is he the only one without a “thing”?

“You must be 2002, right?” He asked with a smile on his face. 2002 paused for a moment and glanced about the hallway before answering with a, “Uh...yes? How do you know when you can’t see my number this f-?” “Yes yes, I saw you!” The normal looking Zim replies, “I was in my cell when those guards brought you in, but I guess 501 forgot to mention me! I am-“ “Zim?” His eyebrows raised, know that it was obvious everyone is Zim.

“Uh, no?” He said looking a bit offended for a second before smiling again, “I am Carl!” The new slave stood there for a beat. “Carl?” He gave a confused expression. “Yep! The Zims here call me by 1200. But why should I even be called a number when I can just go by my real name? If anything, I might be the only one here who’s name isn’t Zim, which makes me the most significant!”

The fish irken blinked. “Rrighhht. And what are you doing all the way up there?” He pointed out. “Ah this. I’m just scrapping bubblegums off the ceiling.” “Bubblegums? We have bubblegums in the Zimvoid?” “Nooot exactly,” he smiled awkwardly. “You see, we have a Zim guard here that patrols this hallway every so often. And his thing is that every time he breathes out, he blows out a bubble of gum that floats up onto the ceiling. So it’s my job to keep the hallway’s ceiling nice and clean!”

“Oh. I see.” That explains it, he thought to himself. “And what about you?” Carl almost immediately replies, “what are you doing standing behind that column?” 2002 felt a sense of embarrassment. “Uh,” he looks away trying to act careless, “it’s nothing.” “Aw come oooon,” Carl gave a pleading smile, “it shouldn’t be as interesting as mine. Just say it!” It took few seconds, but the fish hybrid finally gave in with a sigh. “My job is to look like a fish in a bowl that’s resting on one of the columns.”

“Heh! That’s funny. Why is that?” “They say it’s to make the castle more ‘decorative’ or something pathetic like that. They say it’s the only thing that can suit well for me.” “Hm! Interesting job! Of course, not AS interesting as the ONLY brilliant Carl! But I’m sure you can be good in other jobs! Like weapon grinding! I mean those teeth of yours are hilariously sharp and huge! you can grind good weapons out of it!” 2002 blankly gaze at him in hidden surprise. “...although no one can grind better than Carl,” he adds confidently.

2002 blinked. “Uh. I would use my teeth for anything if it didn’t mean requiring to take off this bowl. But at least you are the nicest Zim I’ve encountered so far.” “It’s Carl.” “Right right-“

“1200!” They both flinched and turned to see one guard, his identity hidden from the head armor, marched near the ladder that Carl was. “How many times have we told you that you are not allowed to talk to anybody during your job?” “Well it never hurts to talk to someone every once in a while,” he easily replied, “and look!” He showed bunches of gun within the bucket proudly, “look how many gums the great and only Carl was able to collect!” “That doesn’t excuse your distractions, 1200! What if 501 saw you like this and reports this to Number 1? Do you want to join the other Rejects?”

“Rejects?” 2002 asked questioningly. “Pshh,” Carl continued, “there’s no way Number 1 can do that to me. Not when my name NOT being Zim makes me so unique.” “No matter what your thing is, your distraction is what will make you forgotten one day.” “I will never be forgotten!” The slave claims, “And I will never join the rejects in that wasteland! For I am-!” The guard finally grew impatient. With no warning, he kicks off the ladder, causing the slave to topple off and fall head first unto the ground. And given how high he was, it was obviously a hard fall. The new slave was taken back and looked down stunned by the slave he was talking to earlier laying almost motionless on the ground. The only thing that told 2002 he was still alive was the sound of his short grunting and the twitching of one of his legs.

The guard straightened up and let out a sigh, resulting in a bubble made out of gum to appear out of his shadowy face and float up unto the ceiling. “I don't think it will teach him a lesson. But it at least helped to make him stop his yapping.” He looked down at the fallen slave for a short while before looking at another slave who witnessed the whole thing. “You there!” 2002 flinches and looks at the guard. “What did you expect, a theatre play? Get back to your position!”

He wanted to say something, but he instead obeyed, his body still feeling shook at what he saw. The guard was a bit please before remembering something. “Besides him wanting me to check on how you’re handling the job, 501 wanted to let you know that you have few more hours left till your 13 hour shift is finished. Then you can go to your cell and think about your life.” 10 hours....has it really been that long already? It’s amazing he hasn’t felt his PAK’s energy drain. Though it’s not like his body has done much other than standing behind a column.

The guard stayed silent for a short while. Before 2002 can realize that he was waiting for him to respond, he crossed his arms, “Huh. So they’re not joking when the say the newcomer is very quiet.” Not wanting show that it was true, he opened his mouth to say something. “No matter,” the guard unfortunately cut him off, “just continue your work and no slacking.” His ear fins lowered in a bit of humiliation. But he watched as the guard turned and walked away.

A groan was heard again, cutting his thoughts off of the guard and looked down at the other slave that was now trying to get up with much effort. “Ugh. Well at least it wasn’t my back that hit the ground.” Strangely enough, there was a soft part of him that made him worry of this complete stranger he met a only short while ago. “Uh. Are you ok?” “Psh. Of course I’m fine,” he grunt more when he tries to stand, “I am Car-oof!”

He lost balance and fell back on the ground. “...ok, this is a tiny bit embarrassing.” 2002 frowned more. He glanced to make sure the guard was completely gone. Then he left his job position just to walk fast paced and kneel beside the other Zim. “Here,” he held him by his shoulder. The moment he did so, Carl looked at him in confusion. “What are you doing?” “Helping you get up.”

“Funny,” Carl eyes furrowed, “a real Zim should look after himself.” “I DO look after myself!” He snapped, causing the other one to quietly look at him more confused. 2002 sighed. “Look. I’m only helping you because you’re myself, so it’s the same thing. Let me just help you up before the guard decides to come back.” Carl didn’t question any further and just let’s the new Zim help him get up. “Hm. You’re a stranger Zim than I thought.” “Heh,” he tries to smirk a bit, “that’s what makes me the best.” “Who told you that you were the best Zim?” He argued with him.

Meanwhile, a little far out from the hallway and behind the column, a guard peeked out and looked at two Zims. His eye set the most on the newcomer that aided an injured Zim and squinted his eyes. He looks down at a paper he was holding and writes something down. He puts it down and completely leaves the hallways.

It took a while for the guard to join the chamber and approach the same guard that confronted the two slaves. He noticed him approaching and turns to him, “Did you find anything suspicious about our newcomer?” “Don’t worry,” he took off his helmet, revealing to be 501, “I think I got to know everything about him. All that newcomer needs now at this point is pure luck.”

—————————————————-

Quick panting sounds are heard as each feet kicked back the dirt for how fast he was running. A yellow-skinned Zim with redder eyes and a bug-like wing, revealing to be a hybrid a bee, ran while hugging a bag for dear life. But he soon came to a dead end by huge piles of junk blocking the alley. He glances in fear to see the shadows appearing and drawing closer with a distant voice shouting in the distance. The bee Zim looked at his his small wing and sigh, “Come on wing, it’s not that high.” He looked back up at the pile, focusing on his goal, and started flapping his wings. The more effort he put on it, the more he started to hover in the air. It was taking all the energy from him, but he tried to ignore the limit, continuing to focus as he gets closer and closer to the goal. He pants but smiles, “Heheh heheh....I’m doing it! Heh! I’m doing it! Victory for-!!”

He lets out a grunt of of surprise as a rope is thrown unto him and tightly grips around his body. He is then yanked down, making him tumble onto the ground for a second or two. He was now feeling too weak to get up at this moment due to the energy he costed on his PAK. Even so, he weakly turned his head to look at a Zim with a cowboy outfit looking down at his catch. He hacks up and spits out saliva before turning behind him, “I got ‘im, Sword Cat.” “Hah!” A brown cat Zim with a sword tucked underneath his belt came next to him and looked at the bee Zim with a mischievous smile, “great work, Sheriff! Now then, little bee guy.”

He approaches the captured Zim on the ground, who was still holding the bag, “Why don’t we all just call it truce and give us that little honey of yours? We won’t do any harm by leaving you all tied up on the rope until there’s luck that someone might get you.” A ninja Zim came up to the left side of Sword Cat, “Uh. Sword Cat? I think that lie was a little too obvious.” “No it wasn’t!” The cat angrily looked at his ally, “if anything, my tactic on lying to that Zim about not leaving him tied up was a brilliant success!”

The cowboy leaned close to his side, “Uh. You straight up just revealed it again.” “No I did not!” “Dude,” the bee Zim said unamused despite still hugging the bag, “you know how I can hear exactly what you said.” “Oh yeah?!” He gave the captured irken hybrid a challenging glare, “then tell me, little buzzer! What did I say?!” “That you’re going to leave me tied after you take my honey.”

“NO I DIDN'T! I-!” He cuts off and takes a moment to think. After a short while, he shook his head. “You know what? It doesn’t matter,” he pulls out his sword and points it to him, “give us the honey.” “No!” The bee Zim hugs it more dearly, “it’s the only honey that survived the crash! My small glorious wings will not flap better without it!” “Well we don’t care. Give it!”

“No!” He tried to use the strength he hope he has by look directly at him with a squint, “if you want it, you will have to get through me first!” Sword Cat quietly stared at the weak Irken. “....Really?” “I-I’m serious! Y-you will regret it!” The cat once again quietly gazed at him with unamusement. Then he looked at both of his two members, who seem to agree on his thought about his unworthy motivation. He looks back at him. “Alright.”

He raised up his sword again with the two others gathering around him, their eyes sharply at him, “Let’s see what you got.” They started walking towards him. The bee Zim quivered, but still tried to remain determined. “G-get back! Don’t come any closer! Y-you will definitely regret it by....b-by my ambush!” “Oh yeah?” The cat lifted his eyebrow smiling with a challenged expression, “by what army?”

“None other than me!” A child-like voice shouted out.

The Zims paused in the position and looked about. The bee Zim grew confused as he was looking for the source. “Who said that?” “Aha! Look above you!” When they heard more clearly where the voice was coming from, they looked at one of the building nearby to see a small figure standing on top of it proudly. He jumps up, revealing to be holding onto a rope as he swings unto a wall and used his rope to push his feet off of it. He slides down the rope in time to land in front of the Zim that was in trouble with in a heroic looking landing pose.

His head raised to look at the gangs with a determined smile. “Sword Cat! We meet again!” All the Zim went quiet.

The gangs showed to be pretty annoyed as the cowboy one facepalmed and sighed. “Here we go again.” The bee version blinked and his face turned into confusion. “Uh. Am I looking at myself....as a baby?” “Heh!” The smeet glanced at him still confident, “I may be a baby. But I am still a Zim at heart!”

“What. Are you doing here, Baby?” Sword Cat asked in irritation. “My name is not Baby!” The smeet narrowed, “I am Zim! Better nicknamed as 2K. Which is a nickname more brilliant than than any Zim has to go by-!” “Right right right,” the cat Zim said impatiently, “but what are you going to try this time? What’s with the sudden change of not trying to ambush us?”

“Well,” 2K started to state out, “as I was looking back at the few attempts I have made on my plans, I have come to the realization that my unnecessary failures did not come from ambushing you out of nowhere. Instead, I have come to the conclusion, thanks to my brilliant mind, that in order to defeat someone, I need to show just how threatening I really can be!” “....And in order to do so was to make your grand entrance?” “Yup! Pretty neat, huh?”

The gangs stared at him unamused. “That’s...the dumbest thing I ever heard,” the ninja said. “It done sure sound like you ran out of ideas,” the cowboy spoke. “No I haven't! And besides, this is my best plan yet-“ “Just like you have said with your previous ones,” Sword Cat crosses his arms. The smeet hesitated. He growled and clenched his teeth in frustration, “Nnnnnngh it doesn’t matter! You will be defeated this time!”

He charges over and launches onto him, only for Sword Cat to catch him by grabbing his antennae. 2K grunts in pain and flails his leg shouting, “Nngh! Ow ow! Let me go! Stop it! You won’t get away this easily! You will regret the day you messed with-“ He continued to yap about while attempting to punch and kick him with his tiny arms and legs, which barely hit him whatsoever. The leader of the gang remained gazing at him unamused before tracing his eyes to the cowboy version. “Sheriff, do me a favor and tie this annoying chatterbox up. I’ll take care of the bee.”

Sheriff nods and goes over to be the one to hold onto the smeet by the atennae. He walks off to do what he is told. The Sword Cat walks over to the bee and kicks him down, causing him let out a sound of a harsh grunt and leaving him half conscious. He bends down and took the jar of honey from him before fully standing to look at it in pride. “Heheh, yes yes. Guess what we will be having tomorrow night, Zims.”

“Gah!” 2K voice can be heard, “hey! That’s too tigh-gh!” “Quiet, will you?” The cowboy said before making the last knot. 2K was now laying on the ground all tied up by the rope as he squirms about violently there, trying to break free. “That should just about do it,” Sheriff stood up and turned to the cat, “will you like me to do anything else with him?” “Eh,” he shrugged, “you can let him and the bee be as they are. We got the honey. So let’s get out here before some guards see us.”

“You think the guards will care?” The ninja asked. “They will care if they see me. Now let’s go already.” They went ahead and walked off. The bee grunted and was regaining consciousness as he weakly looked out at the gangs walking away. “Nah...no...my honey! What am I going to do? How will my wings be able to work again? How will I be able to fly around the town?!”

2K stared at the distressed alternate version of himself. “Uh...hey! I got an idea,” he smiles, “I know exactly where their base is! Maybe if you can untie me and join the resistance, we can go over and get your honey back. Sounds cool?” “Sounds cool?” The bee angrily looked at him, “why would I join a group when they have a member that can’t even defend himself?” 2K sighed, “Ok. Maybe I may have lost this time. But this time will be different!” “Whatever,” he shakily gets up while fighting back the injury, “I’ll find a way to get through this void without. Thanks for the help.” He walks off. 2K blinks in realization of something. “Uh. Hey. Can you at least tie me? Hey. HEY!”

He struggles violently again and even tries to bite the rope off with his buck tooth only with his collar being in the way. “Nngh! Stupid! Collar! Agh! I WILL GET YOUR HONEY BACK FOR SURE!” He angrily shouts out while alone in the alley, “THEN YOU WILL LOOK BACK TO THIS AND WISH YOU COULD HAVE JOINED THE RESISTANCE EAR-!”

———————————-

It was now night time. All the Zims in the underground town were already closing their doors and calling it a day. 2K remained stuck at one of the alleyways, already have exhausted himself from shouting the entire day. He can do nothing but lay there facing up in boredom as he looked at each stains on the wall. “46.....47........47, 48....49. Wait did I count the stains right? I think I might have said ‘47’ twice.” He wondered out loud to himself. “....eh. Who cares. If anything, I’ll just try again.” His eyes traced to the first wall stain he sees and starts counting from the beginning. “1,2,3....”

With the smeet counting again, a local Zim can hear a child-like voice within one of the alley way. He hops over to see who it is until he can see a familiar figure. “Mmmph?” 2K immediately stop counting. He softly turns his head to see who it is and saw a baloney far off looking at him. At that point, he did not show any change of expression. Ofcourse he would be the one to find him here. “Oh. Hey, Meat.”

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 3x09-- The One Where The Sun Comes Out

This episode was way more engaging than the last. I talk a lot about Maia in this one; the writers finally figured out how to use her!

Reasons I shouldn’t write recaps after a year without seeing an episode: I forget basic stuff, like that it rained for all of season 3. You know, because ATMOSPHERE and WEIRDNESS and QUIRK. And SYMBOLISM. Can’t forget symbolism. 

To be fair to the writers, it did rain a lot last year. All I remember about the month of June is rain. They predict everything. 

Maia’s new job at a call center (I can’t recall if we’d seen her at the call center before this episode) is something she takes very seriously. Just kidding. She acts disdainful towards anyone who dares ask for her help and then hangs up on them. On one hand, this seems like a terrible job so I get her “fuck it all” attitude. On the other, she’s being suuuuuper bratty.

Right. I refreshed my memory. We did see Maia at this job in an earlier episode. 

Consult-a-Lawyer is where all the LGwhatever rejects go. Sounds miserable. 

Blum walks in, and Maia makes a, “Oh God, THIS asshole” face. Coincidentally, this is also the face I’m making as I realize I’m going to have to listen to this loud man I had blocked from my mind yell obscene things for two more episodes. 

Blum wants to hire Maia. She agrees, as does her friend Lili. I believe Maia has other choices (remember how she turned down Diane’s offers to help when they weren’t exactly what she wanted?) but also, yeah, I’d want to get the hell out of Consult-a-Lawyer too. 

Now it is hailing. Everyone from RBL is in blue. Remember those picspams we all used to make where we’d oversaturate the background to make everything blue? I wouldn’t need to oversaturate this image to make the blue pop. 

I truly don’t understand why the main page of All Access thinks I am in the middle of some random season 2 episode when I am clearly in the middle of 3x09. When I click on the show, it understands that I’m in the middle of 3x09 and allows me to resume watching. Why wouldn’t you optimize your homepage to encourage people to keep watching!? (All Access isn’t alone in this: HBO Go also makes it very hard to figure out where I left off when watching a series.) 

So, because Carl Reddick was a sexual harasser and RBL covered it up, ChumHum is insisting on an internal investigation, led by a woman who is-- you guessed it-- quirky. And even worse, it’s one of the quirks that’s actually not funny because it’s a real condition people live with?? How are we still doing this, show?

This is RBL’s best year ever. Yay! I forget if that tracks with anything we’ve seen. I guess the existence of ChumHum alone is enough to make that true.

Oh NO, Book Club is in this one too!? Liz, wisely, says she’s done and refuses to go with Diane. 

Maia tells Blum no, she won’t work with him. She thought he was rescuing her from hell, but he’s really “dragging her down deeper.” This is accurate. Maia may not be the smartest character on this show, but she’s got her eyes wide open when she works with Blum. 

Blum wants to work with Maia (duh) because her father is a piece of shit respected by other pieces of shit. This checks out. This is quite logical, tbh. 

Maia requires very little convincing. This is not because she is in such a hard spot she has no other options. This is because she is bored and hates the world because she didn’t get her way and had to deal with consequences. It took very little to turn Maia from an innocent to a villain. Perhaps that’s because she was always complicit. (If you’re 26 and went to law school and you can’t understand privilege even on the most basic level, it’s because you’ve been tuning out everything that challenges you.)

Maia seems way more confident now. She’s SO much more fascinating as a villain than as a protagonist, likely because even when she was the protagonist everything she did was so selfish it was hard not to see her as a villain. Props to the writers for recognizing that and leaning into it. They don’t explicitly tie her actions here to her actions at the start of the series, but this only works because Maia’s always been one slight away from going bad. 

And yes, I think villain is the appropriate word for someone money hungry and willing to work, no questions asked, with someone as slimy as Blum. 

Maia hires her friend Lili to help out, which, admittedly, is a nice thing for someone I just called a villain to do. 

After further “messages” from the con artist who started Book Club, the Book Clubbers want to SWAT someone. This sounds fucking terrifying. Diane pushes back and the rest of Book Club is totally ok with this strategy.

So Diane reveals that Valerie’s a con artist and it causes squabbling. It somehow backfires because people believe the woman claiming to have a message from Valerie. Even the one who can do all the IT things--the one who could very easily (by show logic at least) just simply look up the records and phone numbers herself-- believes her. 

Is a big group setting really the way internal investigations are done? I’m no expert, but this feels like a bad approach!!

Marissa doesn’t think the firm has racial issues! Ha ha. She thinks the racial pay gap issues are totally resolved because the associates got raises. As much as I want to believe someone as savvy as Marissa wouldn’t think like this… I kinda believe it. 

Lili also seems kind of terrible, like someone who can’t wait to go on a power trip and fuck over every person who has ever said anything mean to her. 

Oh goodie, we’re talking about sexism now. I appreciate that they’ve featured a few associates over the course of season three. I don’t remember their names since I last watched these episodes a year ago, but I remember that they’ve been in several episodes. I hope to see them in season four, and to learn their names. 

Someone says men weren’t considered to head up Lucca’s department. This is blatantly false. Also, idk what these other associates can do, but Lucca’s proven herself to be adaptable, smart, and someone who can go above and beyond. Plus, she is someone who is out for herself, with tons of career options. She’s someone you want at your firm. 

The female named partners are biased against men, says a (you guessed it!) male associate. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahaha no. 

Marissa calls the associate out on this, and another (female) associate steps in to say she’s in no place to talk since she’s stealing Jay’s job. If it didn’t seem like there was room for both of them, this would be true. 

In a move I appreciate, the mailroom employees are also in this scene, talking about how they didn’t receive any bonuses to correct for the pay gap because of their class. When one of the associates says they didn’t receive a bonus because of race, a mailroom guy calls her out for not knowing his name. 

And then it devolves, as so many of these scenes do, into people talking over each other.

While I like that they address these issues so often on this show, I don’t think “inequalities are controversial and there’s no solution so here are people talking over each other” is the best approach. Sure, I can appreciate different points, and I don’t need the show to tell me how to think, but at this point I think the show needs more of a POV on this. It feels, too often, like they’re saying “Controversy! Huh!” 

Marissa goes to Liz and mentions the other women Carl Reddick assaulted. Liz, understandably, hasn’t looked at the files Marissa gave her. She says she will but asks Marissa to keep quiet around the investigator. So sounds like she doesn’t intend to do anything. 

Oh no. Is this the ep with the retcon where Liz and Adrian actually did hook up!? And put it in work emails!? All I have to say about this is that it’s a bad decision. Sometimes the writers get so close to making a bad decision and then walk it back enough so that I can relax, and then bring it back later, for no reason. It’s even worse that way, because by that point I’ve already formed a strong opinion about it happening. The moment that set me off the most in TGW was when Alicia and Peter agreed to renew their vows at the end of 421, followed by a commercial break, followed by a promo with Alicia kissing Will. I HATED the love triangle at that time. I mean HATED. That commercial break allowed me to relax into the idea that the writers had ended the love triangle. The promo shattered that idea, and, in turn, I slammed my computer shut so hard it nearly broke. That is not a feeling I like. That is the feeling that learning Liz and Adrian fucked gives me. 

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE. IT IS SOMETIMES MORE INTERESTING WITHOUT THE ILLICIT AFFAIRS. THERE ARE MORE INTERESTING WAYS THAN HOOKUPS TO ADDRESS THAT THEY USED TO BE MARRIED. For starters, can we get an episode where Liz calls Adrian out on the condescending voice he’s always using when he talks to her?

Oh yes, this is also perjury. Why. Why is this happening? Why would Liz and Adrian admit this to an investigator knowing damn well they lied under oath, and also, why would they lie under oath? I know we saw it happen but was it really worth two partners perjuring themselves bc they fucked their ex??? 

When the stakes are high for no reason (or for a stupid reason) it doesn’t maximize drama. It just makes me tune out the drama. If I believed Liz and Adrian had a good reason to perjure themselves, maybe I’d care about this. Maybe they did. But the fact I don’t remember it-- and I’m someone who can name every single episode title of TGW in order-- suggests to me it wasn’t a good enough reason. 

Liz goes to shred the file with the rest of the info on her father’s victims. See, this is a bad choice that I understand. It’s her father’s legacy and her firm’s future, and she has all the power right now. It could come back to bite her, but I get why she takes this risk. I get why this situation is fraught. 

Credits time!!! 

Maia’s also decided to dress like a Bad Girl. She is trying VERY hard. But she’s pulling it off. She’s speaking without hesitation and actually taking an active role in getting things done. It speaks volumes about her character that the first time she’s been motivated about anything work related, it’s something morally bankrupt. 

Apparently the black and white associates are sitting apart from each other. Julius says it’s not intentional; there’s a hot desk system. That held up well.

LMAO people think Julius and Marissa are sleeping together. Julius does a spit take-- the appropriate reaction.

“You’re really a Rindell?” a potential client asks Maia. “Raised at his knee. Taught me everything he knows,” Maia says proudly, displaying a framed picture of her and her father. I’ve said it like five times already but it’s SO dark that Maia would use this to her advantage. We’ve seen some opportunistic shit on TGW/TGF but Maia gets so shameless, so fast, with no remorse. Damn. 

RBL is trying to disbar Blum. He doesn’t care. He tells Maia to take care of it and to use the allegations (which she doesn’t realize are real) against Carl to make it go away.

Diane is talking to a computer. I’m over all the Diane plots.

Liz is glad the Book Club is still fighting even if she’s not involved, which is the stance it always made the most sense for Liz to have. 

Diane allows Book Club to proceed with their latest scheme because she finds the dude they’re targeting deplorable. If this plot didn’t involve Book Club I’d find it to be an interesting moral dilemma. 

An actually interesting dilemma: Liz informs Marissa she will not be disclosing the names of any additional victims. Marissa clearly thinks this is the wrong call but keeps her mouth shut. An unusual amount of restraint for her. 

Maia and Marissa are still friends! Is this the episode with the bizarre Maia/Marissa kiss that I still don’t understand the point of? 

Marissa divulges info about the firm’s Reddick drama to Maia, which is uncharacteristically stupid of Marissa. But there’s no bridge Maia isn’t willing to blow up to help Blum. She’s prying and manipulating a friend who faked a drug test for her and got her through the worst time in her life so she can prop up a mean, cruel man. There are other paths for Maia. I want to be absolutely clear that I think she is choosing this one because things got the slightest bit challenging for her. 

Maia realizes what she’s doing and stops herself saying she has to go because “everything we talk about from now on, you’re gonna blame me for.” And rightfully so! 

OH, the kiss is because Maia is acknowledging she’s fucking over their frendship, isn’t it? Earlier they’re about to drunkenly kiss and one of them talks about not fucking friends they don’t want to fuck up the friendship. So the kiss is fucking over the friendship. Or maybe it’s just a kiss. 

“You’re gonna hate me. Just remember, this has nothing to do with us,” Maia says. Ha, I believe this less than I believe Alicia’s “this was never meant personally” in 5x05. (Hitting the Fan isn’t a bad comparison here, since Alicia does make a choice to fuck over friends when she has the choice to not fuck over friends. I think what makes that “gray” for me while this is villain territory for Maia is how fast this happens. Alicia’s taking the clients whose accounts SHE has sustained, and starting a firm she truly believes will be better (for herself, as a company, for her family). It’s a selfish decision. Her options aren’t reduced all that much either (she’s the governor’s wife, if she wants to leave her firm she could go anywhere). But I can see her side, I can see how fraught the choice was for her, I can see how the way things played out made the tensions worse. Maia burns her friendships to the ground so she can work with a loathsome man because the opportunity fell into her lap while she was hating the world too much to do anything productive with her life. 

Maia’s crying in the office when Blum finds her. She knows what she’s about to do. She’s sad she’s going to do it, but she knows she’s going to do it. I don’t think she considers, for a moment, not fucking over Marissa. As soon as Marissa gives her the intel (which, no matter what Maia says, she was totally fishing for), Maia’s mind is made up. Does it make it better if she cries about it? 

And Maia KNOWS it is a betrayal. She says she knows “a friend will interpret it as a betrayal” because she knows it is one. She tells Blum she doesn’t know if it’s a betrayal because “I’ve lost track these days” (that line sounds surprisingly Alicia-esque) and tells him what she knows. That’s one of those questions that if you have to ask, you know the answer. 

Thought experiment: Would it be a betrayal if Maia were an activist who wanted to get the word out about an abuser? I think a lot of why I react so harshly towards Maia’s choice here is that (1) she sees it as a foregone conclusion that she’ll use the info and (2) she is using it to help Blum. Blum isn’t shades of gray (50 shades of gray joke here). He is despicable. He isn’t morally ambiguous and you can’t even say his ends justify his means because his ends are despicable too! 

Ah, a scene I won’t have much to say about. It’s going to be Blum on his bullshit.

Oh, I do have something to say, but it’s a sad thing. Mark Blum, the actor playing ACDB lawyer Julius Kreutzer in this scene, sadly passed away from COVID-19 last week. 

Roland Blum representing sexual assault survivors to fuck over a rival law firm makes me sad.

Marissa does, in fact, interpret Maia’s actions as a betrayal. She calls her immediately and asks, “you fucked me over?” “Not intentionally,” Maia says. Oh, own it. You knew the moment she said it what you were going to do; this was an intentional action with an inconvenient consequence. 

The partners find out, thanks to Blum, that Julius is going to be a federal judge. And they are not happy.

More talking over each other! Cultural appropriation has entered the mix of complaints. Lucca decides to intervene by going to the partners about the new seating plan. And this is why Lucca, and not that associate, is heading up a department. She knows when to go to management and isn’t wasting her own time in these squabbles. (Tbh, Lucca recognizing that bickering with no resolution in sight isn’t productive makes me wonder if the writers have more of a POV than I’m giving them credit for. Maybe they’re trying to say that talking over each other is futile and aggravating.)

Why the hell does this investigator want to integrate the mailroom by firing black people so they can hire more white people?! Setting aside for a minute that that is a profoundly stupid idea, that can’t possibly be legal, can it??? 

RBL decides that, backed into a corner, it’s time to just own up to their wrongdoings. It works with the ACDB, at least until Blum brings Maia into things.

Book Club kills someone. I truly don’t know how to feel about Diane having literal blood on her hands. This scene should be way more dramatic than it feels. This is the problem with having stakes too big for the show. Instead of getting invested, I write off the far-fetched plots, and I can’t really care about character drama that stems from something so over the top I don’t believe it. 

Diane thinks Book Club didn’t want the guy dead. What about this group that was working to hack voting machines suggested that they wanted him to live???? 

Liz says Diane has to report them, but Diane worries she’s implicated. Who could have imagined that working with crime-loving resistance group would have legal ramifications?! It’s not like Diane and Liz are lawyers or anything.

Liz thinks Diane needs to convince Book Club that everything they’re doing is because of a con artist, but that’s a solution to a different problem. Diane knew Valerie was a con artist and still pushed forward with Book Club because she was committed to the cause. Why would any of these other women abandon the group at this point? What difference does it make if Valerie is a liar.

Shock of all shocks, Book Club is planning their next attack. It’s almost like they are a group of criminals who meet in shady spaces at odd hours. The time to be noble about this shit was weeks ago, Diane and Liz. You’re complicit. What did you think you were getting into? 

Book Club does not like that Kurt is conservative. Diane gets mad and basically threatens them.

“You two are just as culpable,” one of the Book Clubbers says. She’s not wrong. Maybe not JUST as culpable, but culpable for sure. It’s possible that I just don’t want to see Diane and Liz be culpable for things this atrocious and stupid so I resent this plotline. (That said, to go back to Hitting the Fan as an example of a character I love doing a thing that is morally questionable at best, I can accept my faves doing things I don’t like. There’s something about the scale of Book Club’s actions vs the scale of the show that feels off.)

“The truth is what you make it,” Blum tells Maia. A familiar lesson for this show.

!!!!!!!! Is CBS reading my unpublished word doc?! Because today All Access understands that I am watching 3x09.

It’s also updated the key art for TGF to the season 4 image, which says “What is memo 618” in larger font than the show’s title. I am sure I will come to care about memo 618; however, it doesn’t make me want to watch the show or tell me anything about the show, so I don’t get why it’s on the poster. 

ALSO there is no question mark on the image so that’s gonna drive me just a little crazy.

Blum manipulates Maia by telling her she shouldn’t let anyone control her. Maia doesn’t agree to help him; she heads home instead.

Liz and Adrian talk about sleeping together. They had previously said it was a mistake, but Adrian wants to reopen the discussion. All Liz wants is privacy. 

Adrian then asks her if she regrets “fucking”. Yes, he says fucking. Those are his words. Liz is like, what do you want to hear? And it breaks up the tension of the moment. THAT is more compelling to me than all the perjury stuff. (Also, neither of them regret it.)

I don’t think I have a problem with them sleeping together… just a problem with it happening off-screen (I don’t need a sex scene-- just want to know how they got there!), being retconned, and then being used to create drama. If they want to hook up, go for it. 

Oh, look, it’s a stock footage shot of the outdoors. Busy streets? People walking around? Seems fake.

The stock footage is to show that the rain has stopped, btw. It just feels like it’s designed to taunt me with the idea of public parks and bustling streets. 

The ChumHum report is out and the partners look very! Serious! But Liz and Adrian are in the clear. 

The investigator basically just finds the firm grew too fast and that’s their only real issue. The Carl Reddick issue will hurt, but it’s survivable.

But they’re still losing ChumHum. They were always going to lose ChumHum. Diane goes outside to enjoy the good weather while she can.

Maia doesn’t show and Blum gets disbarred. It’s fun to watch him squirm, having just lost his power. He rambles nonsensically. 

Maybe Maia isn’t a villain. I truly don’t remember this scene happening; I thought I remembered her showing up to defend him! Score one, Maia. This episode is the most interesting Maia’s ever been. 

I also don’t remember Diane singing on a park bench. But I like it!

Book Club is threatening Diane now. They’ll destroy her (or kill her?) if she tells on them. Dramatic!!!

[thesoundofaghost-mp3]

May's tutorial on how to take 2000s looking pics! This is not just for scene and/or emo kids, although ofcourse yall can use this!

Here are a few things you can do to make pictures look like they were taken in the 2000s!

What better way to look 2000s than when you use 2000s technology?

Exemples of things you could take a pic with are: an ipod, or any mp3 player actually, 2000s looking cd players, PS2 controllers (make sure it actually looks like you're playing or believe me, someone will notice!) or xbox controller (if you use older consoles of any type, the vibe might look more 90s but if you manage you can still make it work)

If you can't take a picture next to or with 2000s technology... anything? Well maybe you can take a selfie with a fliphone, or a T Mobile Sidekick (if you have one, lucky you!) or even a Nintendo DS if you've got one of those with the camera! Mirror selfies were also a thing of the (mid?) 2000s if they were taken with an actual camera! Let's also not forget the webcam pictures!

Here's one I took for example:

Special "effects"/ Editing:

One thing that makes almost all pictures look so much more aesthetic/better: putting the flash on! I promise it works almost all of the time, the picture will look more high quality and clearer even though it is the same quality as without! If you think your outfit might not be too great or you'd like to make it look like it was taken with a low quality phone, blur the picture! It could also just look artistic, which works just as good.

As for the editing, Glitter, like edits made on Blingee, turning up the contrast, putting a filter (or a few) that give off a blue hue or darker, add in your FriendProject profile number, or your nickname in a grungy font, or photoshop yourself in front of a cute butterfly background!

The poses and angles!

Taking a picture with only this information might not be enough to make it look as 2000s as you want it to be, so now let's see another thing; the poses and the angles! Especially when you take a selfie, do not understimate the power of the "myspace angle" as you might've heard before, the super high angle from which you take the selfie, in which you could include your whole outfit. I know, out of experience, that the position in which you have to try and stand to get your whole outfit in the picture is very, VERY uncomfortable, but trust me it's worth it!

Here's an example:

Other angles/poses you could use are for example the ones in which you position the camera, phone or whatever you take your pictures with at your feet, put a timer or make someone take the picture for you, in an angle at which your feet will look bigger than your head and your whole outfit will be visible again! This one's hard to explain but here's an example, again from one of my pics because I couldn't find one from someone else: (putting "myspace picture big feet" on google, does in fact, not work)

Shoutouts from most known myspace celebs were a big thing back then, with the name of someone (or their own, partly to prove they aren't catfish) written on their hand or a piece of paper, as well as showing off fake tattoos made with sharpies, or something like "I love you!" on the palm of your head, so standing there showing it, could, somehow be a pose? I guess so... oh well, this is still something that would've been on this list!

There are many more (like for example the ones where your legs look broken as you sit on the floor, or the one where you are showing off your room plastered with posters..) but just know not to just stand there looking lost (unless that's what you're going for), be either VERY dramatic with the poses or super casual, no in betweens or you'll probably look awkward!

Dramatic makeup and hair!

Of course... To keep on being dramatic, because the 2000s very much were, (as every decade, in their own way, but you get what I mean) hair was often in crazy colors and or haircuts! Even if you were neither emo nor scene, celebrities like Christina Aguilera or Kelly Clarkson, to Matt Tuck (that's right!) had highlights in their hair, or just dyed parts of their hair, usually blonde, black or red, but chalk haircolor exists in many colors, so go crazy on that!

See here:

Not only that but side ponytails, extensions, crimped hair, face framing bangs, spiky gelled hair etc. Even if you aren't emo or scene, your hair can cover one of your eyes for the picture!

Makeup had to be very visible, especially as a scene kid or emo kid with the overflowing amount of eyeliner, and colorful mascara or anything that you could find to be original and "artsy" really, but also for any other person! Makeup looks that were usual attire were for example: LIPGLOSS, blue, purple, white or eyeshadow, frosty pink lipstick, a lot of mascara, colorful eyeliner, rosy cheeks, or lined lips (darker on the outside) but none of that would be complete without thin eyebrows! Fake tans are also a go-to if you're feeling it!

Now, if you're too scared to use hairchalk or dye your hair, and you aren't too good at makeup, no worries, you've still got other options!

Props and accessories!

Big sunglasses.. yes, even indoors! Rimmed glasses, Colored lenses, "Bug eye" sunglasses, there are many to choose from! Scarves, very unnecessary but pretty cool looking! Hoop earrings were also in! For guys too, jewelry was often worn, for example diamond earrings, shell necklaces, as well as the typical "gangsta wear", you would've guessed it: the dollar sign necklace or chunky golden chains/necklaces. They were ofcourse not first worn during the 2000s, but they were definitely still very much worn then! Other jewelry often worn were silly bands, wristbands, kandi bracelets and necklaces. You can even wear fake piercings!

As for headwear, still many to choose from, like trucker hats, both for guys and girls and anyone who'd like to wear those, bandanas, fedora hats, (do not recommend, 80% of the time you'll look awkward, but you can't know if you're part of the 20% that could rock the look if you don't atleast try, I guess) "baker boy hats" and big huge bows for all my scene beans out there. Belts. BeLtS! A lot, too much, 3 of them, or one big one, just find whatever you have and wear the goddamn belts! Fishnets! Fingerless gloves! They were very much in, and not just for scemo kids!

Not only is it about things you can wear, but also things you can use for the picture, you can look cute while holding a plush toy, (bonus points if you've got a gloomy bear, hello kitty or gir plush!) mysterious while holding a notebook/ diary of some sort or nerdy with your favorite book, but a lot of pictures get much more fun when they are super random, for example like kiki kannibal, just casually holding a lamp in her garden...

Clothing!

Now, this one will be short as I will mainly give you guys links to some articles that talk about 2000s fashion, but here's a thing: If you're going for a very "in your face" kind of style, go fully crazy lol! Scene kids get your neon green tights or red ripped skinnies out and wear all of the colors, preps wear your shiniest Playboy logo shirt, goths and emos you better wear your nicest black knee high converse, all of it!! Go fucking over the top because truly, it was rarely ever over the top in the 2000s! Also, did I mention? Cringe culture is dead, nobody cares if you somehow manage to truly go a little too far! If you're feeling yourself, don't hesitate to show a little skin, (I don't mean totally naked, duh, especially if you're a minor plz no it's usually a very bad idea) ain't nothing wrong with mini skirts or crop tops! (guys, GUYS please wear them too if you feel like it, I promise you a lot of us think that's hot okaythatsall)

Anyway, here's a few articles on the fashion/clothes! Most of these include also accessories etc but you'll find a lot about clothes!

Includes men's clothing too!

https://www.complex.com/style/best-fashion-trends-of-early-2000s/

Yes.. I know.. Buzzfeed.. But oh well, it's still showing the clothes and fashion like we need! There isn't much for guys here, but there is inspo to take from it lol!

https://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/forgotten-early-2000s-trends

Now, I know what this one says... apparently all of these trends were"mistakes"... Well who's gonna laugh when 2000s style makes a comeback? Definitely not them, once they look back on this article!

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/fashion/g2898/worst-2000s-fashion-trends/

This article includes men's fashion and also includes a link to buy the items! That is, if you've got 35$ to spend on a cap for example... Which I don't, but that's okay, it's got pretty good examples of the fashion!

https://spy.com/gallery/2000s-fashion-trends-throw-back-style/

And since I couldn't find a good article on 2000s alt fashion, I made a Pinterest board with a few exemples for Scene, Emo, Goth, Mallgoth/Goth, Visual Kei and Cybergoth! There isn't a lot yet, but you'll get the general idea :)

https://www.pinterest.fr/mayskelly/2000s-alt-styles/

I hope you guys like it, and try it! I think I may share my favorite attempts if enough people do it on my instagram story and here, and tumblr as well if anyone participates in this!

[ladyyatexel]

I watched the Zim movie!  I can’t believe that’s a sentence that can be true now!

Here’s some of me thinking about it, because that’s the kind of thing I am.  Always with the words words words

It was very strange to be watching new Invader Zim.  

It was also strange to see the migration of things within it.  It definitely feels like something from 2019 trying to bridge back to the early 2000s.  I was thinking going into it, “Man, Zim was cancelled because it was both too expensive and too fucked up for the network that had it, but maybe Netflix could actually give it a better home because there are fewer network boundaries and Netflix is rolling in it.”  And then it was actually less fucked up than it used to be and felt more like a studio stepped in and told them someone hadn’t had a human emotion on the softer side of the spectrum for a while.  

Kind of wild, people spent all those years injecting a lot of very soft emotion into Zim in fan circles and then when some emotion gets put in by the people making it, it feels a little uncomfortable.  Gaz sounding genuine or sincere is super weird.  It was almost like the kind of emotion that you’re expecting from She-Ra and Steven Universe was trying to dip a toe into the Invader Zim world or just peek in through a keyhole.  Sadness about failure to live up to parental expectations and stuff was something I think we’ve all considered was part of Dib, but seeing a feeling like that on this show was a bit jarring.   I’m just used to it being more…. brutal?  Stark?  Cynical, maybe!  

Which is a weird thing for me to wish it was doing, I suppose, since I’m retreating so deeply lately into things like Steven and She-Ra, where everything is the power of love and stars and stones.  Everything is gay space rocks when it comes down to it.  

But I usually love getting deeper and more meaningful emotional cues from my media.  I guess I just wasn’t looking to get any from this one.  Dib saying ‘Go home and spend time with your families or… whatever,’ in the Christmas Special was kind of the tone I was expecting.  

Maybe the comics felt less jarring because your mind is the voice director.  No one is suddenly uncomfortably sentimental when you’re reading a comic version of a show where no one has ever done a sentimental thing ever. 

Based on what I know from the comics, a lot of the things that felt wonky to me were kind of intentionally skewed in the wonky direction - the designs for Dib and Gaz looking younger/less like weird goths in particular - but it still didn’t stop me feeling like things looked and felt off.  Every time I saw Professor Membrane, I thought, “This dude is the wrong shape.”   

Watching bits of the original again fresh off the movie, I think there’s a snap I’m missing in the movie.  Edges, movements, colors, feelings - they’re all softer this time around.  I wanted some sharp angles and a lot of them had been smoothed out.  

Loved getting ‘Dib Membrane’ and ‘Gazlene’ in a real appearance, though.  I hoped after all the talk of clones that Dib’s dad would casually mention that Dib was one and the movie would just cut out there, haha.  Lots of weird throwbacks and in-jokes, which is definitely a delight.  And as weird as it was to have her have discernible feelings, seeing more of Gaz, especially her piloting an alien ship, is a giant positive.  Jhonen’s purple haired girls are universally excellent.

Speaking of, god, I so wanted Tak to be there.  (eh, it’s more blue hair, but you know what, it’s still a solid transition) I was hoping the ship would take Dib and Gaz to Tak and then there would be some fuss with that.  I’m glad we got to hear from her in the form of the voice of her ship, though. 

Zim himself was great, I feel like we got the whole spectrum of him - he looked, sounded, and felt like Zim, even with little tweaks and bits from a newer influence.  I loved the weird little asides about/with GIR, taken from the comics, like the taco place conversation.  (“GIR likes that place.  I think it’s dirty.”  “I ate a baby there!”  “He did.”)  

You can tell this thing was lovingly put together, it is bursting with energy and visual weirdness and passion.  It wasn’t as spiky as I wanted, but it was still a ride to watch it all happen.  Was so excited to see the composer on board again, though I longed for a bigger longer version of the opening with the vocals.  The Invader Zim theme is one of my favorite theme songs.  The realities crashing together sequences were Fantastic~~  I laughed properly out loud several times in delight, or at an absurdity, or just because it’s Invader Zim and I love Invader Zim.  

I expected it to tilt harder toward one direction and it tilted toward another instead, but it in the end it was still some Zim.  It’s tempting to want more of it, to say that Netflix should revive the series, but I wonder if the series could ever feel like it used to, or if anyone involved would want it to, and if the comics and a movie should just be what we’re happy with.  If I hoped for a series I would still hope for more of the sharp, and I don’t think Zim is doing sharp as much as it used to. 

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 45, part II: Wisdom

It took Carol a few minutes to close her mouth and come out of her shock. She never imagined she’d have to play host to a prince and a princess. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. They were just people. Like anyone else. She had already met The Queen, for God’s sake, although nor her or Harry knew it was going to happen in that day. But now… oh, now she knew that they were coming and she was fan-girling and fidget-y and nervous and all she wanted was to grab her bag and run home to hide.

“Carol?” Harry tried and she didn’t listen.

She started pacing around in the kitchen, with a knife and a bell pepper in hand and it was almost funny.

“Carol?” Harry called her a third time and gave a gentle shake to see if she’d answer him.

“Yeah?” she said opening her eyes and looking at him.

“Are you ok?” he asked confused.

“I… Kind of. I guess. I don’t know.” she said and looked at him hoping she’d get the answers she needed in his eyes.

“You’re going to like them. They’re nice people and friendly and you’re going to meet your favorite prince. So it must be Friday, right?” he tried to joke.

“OH MY GOD.” she screamed and run out of the kitchen towards his bedroom and he followed after getting the knife and pepper from the floor where she had dropped them. She had opened her side of the chest of drawers he had given her – where she kept more clothing than she’d like to admit – and started throwing it all out to find something to wear. “OH MY GOD.” she kept saying and Harry decided it was best if he didn’t make himself known.

“I’ve got nothing to wear. I’m going to meet Carl Philip and Sofia and I’ve got nothing to wear.” she searched around in the pile on the floor.

“This is a bloody disaster!” she said. “A fucking nightmare. I have to go out a buy an outfit. Do I even need a hat?” she was fully out rambling.

Harry watched her freak out for at least five minutes before he stepped up and tried again to calm her down. It took him longer than he expected, a shower together and a quickie in the middle to Carol start to behave like herself. She did have what to wear and she got ready before him. She came back to the kitchen and started again to make dinner, this time wearing an apron above her clothes so she wouldn’t get tomato sauce on her white shirt.

She was midway cooking dinner when the doorbell rang and Harry asked her to join him on welcoming their guests. At this point he was pretty much playing house with her and was going to proudly introduce his girl to a friend. And he saw himself doing this lots and lots of times in the future. Carol took three deep breaths, and a huge sip of wine, and took off her apron to join him.

Harry opened the door and greeted Carl Philip loudly. Sofia was standing behind her husband and shyly was watching them who looked like two teenagers in a party.

“It was about time you came to London, you prick.” Harry said while he gave his friend a weird handshake and a hug.

“Someone has to work. Not everyone of us get it easy like you, Wales.” Carl Philip answered in his almost non noticeable accent.

“As if...” Harry said and looked at Sofia. “Still trying to figure out what you saw in him Sofs.”

Carol looked at him surprised to hear the nicknames. He had never told her about it. But to be honest she almost never asked him about Royal things.

“Well… I’d take a long time explaining, Hazza.” she said hugging him and Carol saw how petite she really was. And how sweet her voice sounded.

“Let me introduce you to my gir…“ he stopped and looked at Carol and she discreetly shook her head. “Friend.” he said and she saw the kind of disappointed in his eyes. She almost regretted stopping him. Almost. “Carolina. This is Carl Philip and his wife, Sofia. But you already know that”

Carol blushed furiously at that.

Sofia looked interested between Harry and Carol and was the first to speak.

“Nice to meet you, Carolina.” she said and offered her hand for a handshake.

Carol shook Sofia’s hand, trying to hide that her own was slightly shaking, and did a small curtsy to her.

“I can say the same, Your Royal Highness.” she answered politely.

“Oh...” Sofia was surprised. “There’s no need for that kind of formality in here. But I appreciate that.”

Carol smiled and then greeted Carl Philip in the same way before the couples went to the living room of the cottage. Harry had prepared a few snacks and chosen a bottle of wine. They sat on the living room a chatted for a while.

“I can’t help but ask, due to how you greeted us, Carolina, that you have a certain knowledge about… us.” Carl Philip asked after the basics were talked about.

“Well… I know more than most in my country for sure.” Carol answered and shrugged.

“That’s interesting.” he answered. “But one would think it is because you’re friends with Harry.”

“Nah… I knew it before I met him. But he does help me sometimes.” she said and jokingly patted Harry’s knee.Out of habit her hand stayed there and she caressed it. She was seeking reassurance from him. It didn’t go unnoticed by Sofia who smiled discreetly.  “What I didn’t know was that you guys were friends. Because you have never been spotted together.”

“Yep… Royal Watcher” Harry answered when he saw Carl Philip’s surprised expression and the non spoken question.

“Well, darling, it’s what everyone assumes. That we’re not close. But we are. We were just careful to not let people know because we have to follow precedence and stuff. But all the Royal Families are connected somehow and everyone knows everyone. But Carl Philip and I we are friends for a while now.” Harry answered while pouring more wine in Carol’s glass.

“The non official parties are the best part, though.” Carl Philip just shrugged.

“Really?” Carol was curious.

“Yes. But since we have some traditions to follow, we don’t really talk about it. But Hazza and I go way back.”

“I bet you two wreaked havoc in the past.” Sofia said after sipping on her glass.

“Oh the troubles this redhead have made us go into.” Carl Philip laughed and held his wife’s hand. “But now I’m a family man.” 

“I know.” She said. “And you better be.”

“Remember that time when your father scolded us because we left in the middle of the night with no PO’s to go to a club in Stockholm?” Harry laughed and everyone joined him. “He started saying things in Swedish and I didn’t understand a damn thing. He did call my father and my grandmother after that.”

“What happened when you got here?” Carol asked.

“Grandma made my father ground me. Well... as far as grounding goes for princes.”

He and Carl Philip laughed hard at it and both girls understood it was an inside joke.

“What are you cooking Carol?” Carl Philip asked after he stopped laughing. “It smells delicious!”

“Minced beef stuffed peppers, with salad and rice. I had to think of something quickly.”

“That sounds great for us, don’t worry. It was with so short notice. Do you need any help?”

Carol didn’t answer at first because what could she say really? A princess was offering her help in the kitchen. If she said yes would she be breaking any kind of protocol? But this wasn’t a place for protocols because Sofia herself had said so when she arrived. If she said no, it would be rude. And one can’t be rude to a princess. Can they?

“I’d love some.” Carol answered getting up but bringing her glass of wine and taking another sip. Sofia did the same and they both went to the kitchen.

Everything was under control, Sofia noticed. The rice was ready, the salad too, she had made two sauces for seasoning and while the brunette checked the peppers in the oven Sofia looked around.

“What do you want me to do?” Sofia asked cheerfully.

“I think you might enjoy some bread, because of the tomato sauce of the peppers. Would you mind cutting them?” Carol said after she took off the kitchen mittens.

“Of course not.” Sofia answered and watched as Carol moved flawlessly in the kitchen. She knew where everything was and she owned it. It was home for her, not only the cottage inside a palace but the kitchen. She was way more relaxed here than she was in the living room.

“Harry looks so happy.” Sofia said while carefully cutting the slices of bread.

“Does he now?” Carol asked sipping more wine in an attempt to change the subject.

“He does. He’s way more relaxed and easy going than the first time I met him.” She answered.

“How was he like when you met him?” Carol was curious.

“You know… it wasn’t easy for me too, to meet a prince and date one and then meet princes and princesses and kings and queens. I lived in the real world just like you. But Harry… we met a few years ago, and he made me feel included and accepted. And that wasn’t easy to have, due to a few choices I made in the past.”

Carol only nodded. She knew what Sofia was mentioning.

“And he made me feel welcomed from the start. But there wasn’t this sparkle in his eyes. He was sad, but he used his non ending jokes and puns to cover it. Today’s the first day I really felt he’s relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. And it clearly shows it’s because of you.” Sofia finished cutting the bread and organized them in the basket Carol had given her, and she decided to give sometime for Carol to understand what she meant. So she put the basket on the nicely organized table and came back to the kitchen.

Carol looked at Sofia and sighed. She took a deep breath and the Princess noticed Carol was about to open up and didn’t want to interfere.

“You know… Harry and I. We… We’re not dating.” Carol said barely above a whisper.

“You’re not? Are you sure?” Sofia asked arching an eyebrow. “Well… it looks like it, they way you both behave. And he’s clearly in love.”

There it was.

The feeling she knew Harry felt for her, the one that she was denying she felt for him, but that she saw whenever he called or texted or tried to make her comfortable at his house. Harry loved her.

He showed her everyday how much he loved her. He showed it when he called her everyday to listen to how her day was, he showed it when he made time in his packed schedule to be with her, he showed it when he arrived at her door with ice cream and cookies, when he held her while she was crying homesick. He showed it when he supported her after successful meetings and when he scolded her and said she was acting like a brat. He had shown her so much love in these four months since her moving to London (and if she was to be really honest, since way before that), than she had saw in years of her previous relationships. He not only showed her, he showered her in love every single day.

And that was the problem. Even though she was trying (not much, because of the fear, but she was slowly starting to try) to let go of her past and make her subconscious understand Harry was a different man and that he wasn’t going to play with her feelings, she couldn’t.

Every time she stopped to analyse where she stood feelings-wise for him, this overwhelming sense of doing the wrong thing took the best of her and she gave in to her fears.

“I know.” Carol sighed and Sofia was polite enough to let her take her time to finish the sentence. “I know he’s in love. And right now I’m feeling bad with myself for giving him hope.”

“You don’t like him?”

“It’s not that. It’s… complicated.” Carol said trying to finish the conversation. But Sofia was a very determined person.

“Carol… every relationship is complicated somehow.. It’s in the core of it.” She said and sat on one of the stools in the kitchen.

“It’s that I have this fear of relationships due to previous experiences. And the fact that he’s a prince isn’t making it any easier.” Carol finally said turning off the oven and heating the rice so she could serve dinner.

“About your fear of relationships it’s understandable why you’re afraid of letting go and living the romance with him. But let me tell you something, everyone’s gonna make you suffer. One way or another, in different levels. Some are so bare minimum that one can’t even say its suffering. You just have to set apart the ones who do it in purpose and the ones who do it unconsciously. And the ones who are willing to make an effort to no let it happen.” Sofia said and looked at her warmly and smiled.

Carol felt so well in that moment. She deep inside knew she could trust Sofia and she knew she was just trying to assure Harry’s happiness would last. She wanted her friend happy.

“Thank you.” she whispered approaching the stool where Sofia was sitting. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.” Sofia said and held Carol’s hands in both hers. “Harry deserves to be happy and to have the family he have always dreamed of. And you’re the one he thinks he’ll share it, then I gotta give a little help if it is needed.”

Carol gasped and laughed.

“Well… Let’s not get carried away Sofia. He’s a Prince.” Carol said.

“So?” Sofia shrugged.

“So that I’m not suitable enough to be a duchess. He’d be better off with an aristocrat lady that was groomed for it her whole life.”

“Oh, for God’s sake Carol… what’s with this inferiority problem you’ve got?” Sofia said. “Let me tell you something. You don’t have to be suitable for his grandmother or father, you don’t have to be suitable for any head of government. You have to be suitable for him, to be his partner. To have his back. To hold him if so needed. You have to be, in your own way, the person he imagined his life with. And believe me, you are this person. I have never seen my friend so happy before. Harry was born into this, Carol. He knows about this system. He knows how hard it is, how consuming it is, how one will never be suitable and approvable to everyone. And believe me, princes around the world won’t bring someone into this overwhelming environment if they don’t think that person is the person for them. If he’s willing to bring you to this he both believe you’re the one for him and that you’re the one who’ll stick around and face this whole new world together with him. If he didn’t think so, you wouldn’t be at his house on a Friday night cooking dinner for him and his friends. Because this is his sanctuary. His safe place. The place where he can be himself and around trusted people.”

Carol listened carefully to what Sofia said and she knew it made sense.

There was a truth right before her eyes that she wasn’t seeing until it was pointed out for her.

“What you should really think about it whether or not you can handle this. There will be tons of people who’ll criticize you. And they’ll go hard and  unconscionable. They’ll talk about and have opinions about it either in your clothing, in your work rate, in your friends, what you do in your free time, the choices you make for your future children. Those people could even be in his family or in his inner circle of friends. But at the end of the day will be you and him against the world. Doing what’s best for your family and work. Having each other backs and doing the best you can in the situation you have. Knowing that if you fall, he’ll be right there for you and vice versa. Or you don’t think Harry would be there?” Sofia asked finishing her wine.

“Oh, for sure he would. Putting cushions on the floor and all so I wouldn’t get hurt.” Carol said and smiled.

“So there, my friend. You’ve found your soulmate. Don’t let exterior obstacles get into between you. That’s my advice. After all, I’ve been there and done that. I know how you’re feeling and the doubts you’re having. I still have members of the family that don’t like me, most people in my country don’t like me, the press is ruthless and unforgiving but I know that at the end of the day I’ll have the man I love and my son at home, cooking dinner, putting little Alexander to bed and being together. That’s what matters to me. That’s what I wanted., that’s what I’ve fought for.”

A small tear rolled on Carol’s cheeks and she didn’t let it turn into full on crying. Because she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop it.

She cleaned it and asked Sofia if she could get a hug. The Princess was more than happy to hug her new friend tightly.

“Thank you.” Carol said, they parted before the boys entered the kitchen to fetch another bottle of wine. Carol said dinner was ready and Harry promptly helped her with the serving trays to the table. He poured wine to everyone, Carl Philip put on a playlist and they had an amazing dinner together. Harry was constantly asking about Alexander and was enjoying the little mischief the little boy was doing. They ate a dessert made by Bernard and only said goodbye when it was almost midnight and Sofia said Madeleine had babysat for way too long.

They shared hugs and exchanged phone numbers at Harry’s door.

“Whenever you’re in Sweden, do call me, Carol.” Sofia said after they said goodbye.

“I’ll do. Thank you so much Sofia.” 

“You can thank me with an wedding invitation.” she whispered jokingly. 

Carol smiled while they waved goodbye to their friends with Harry side hugging her. She allowed herself to not worry tonight. She allowed herself to feel this growing feeling inside her. How it made her warm, how it made her powerful. How it made her happy and safe.

Harry closed the door  when their car was out of sight and asked how she was feeling.

“Great.” she answered.

“That’s good. That’s good.” he kissed her temple. “Why don’t you go and take off these heels and prepare a bath? I’ll be loading the dishwasher and cleaning up.”

“I’ll help.” Carol said and he soon interrupted her.

“No you won’t. You cooked for us, set the table. I’ll tidy things up. Prepare a bath and go rest.”

“But I don’t want to have a bath by myself.” she said and pouted.

“Oh babe. You aren’t going to. I’ll be up there in a minute.” he said and pecked her lips.

“Well… I’ll wait for you then.” she said before climbing up the stairs.

A/N: So here’s the chapter. 

I was going to make a small dinner and then make Carol have this conversation in Sweden (where she’d go for work), but I honestly think they should be together NOW. So, our amazing princess gave Carol the little push she needed.

Next chapter is Carol’s mom’s wedding and I am planning it to be beautiful.

Hope you enjoy it.

Special thanks to Vania and Bruna who read and re-read this chapter over and over and heard me complaining about how I couldn’t get it done. But now, it’s here. woohoo!!

xoxo

[akiharashizuka]

Cardfight Vanguard G: Z turn 7 thoughts

Relics Crisis

This is a reference to GIRS Crisis, isn’t it?

Tsuneto sure lightens up the mood there xD But it doesn’t last long because another arrow lights up. At this point, I guess there’s no specific rule to how that marks works, or it depends on how much time a candidate has spent time in the Relics.

Either way, Chrono continues to be the closest one to the complete mark. The pressure of that, plus the responsibility he feels for starting it all is putting him into a corner. Guess the fact that he is standing so close the the wall and the others gathered around him emphasizes that. It almost looks like they are ganging up on him. Even though that’s not the case, it shows how much this situation is eating him.

So, Gastille doesn’t like coffee. Os is that tea?

Either way, since he is so relaxed and talks about trivial stuff, he must have something up his sleeve. 

This season sure if faced-paced. 

First thing that caught my attention is that all AL4 members are present. Minus Kyou...And on the screen we see  several groups. Out of these, Mamoru going with Shion and Hayao reminded me of when he was training the Fukuhara team. There are also some characters that we haven’t seen a while, like the Quatre Knights and Team Dreadnought. Verno is also there, with Ratie. I’m glad she is still around, despite being demoted to a background character. Amaruda was simply great, so I would have liked some more characterization for Verno herself...

We get some explanation on Relics, which was kept simple enough. Since Cray technology is involved, I think it makes sense that fights are necessary here. So, we get several match-ups with illusions. I’m going to talk a bit about each one of them when they are shown.

Of course, the trapped people also get to fight. In the preview Chrono wasn’t shown with an opponent, but it turns out it was Ibuki. 

Tsuneto’s reaction when seeing all Try3 members was so on point xD

Ok, so let’s take them in order. One of the most flashed out fights was Jaime vs Leon. Or, illusion!Leon, I guess. Guess it’s because of the new Aqua Force support, which isn’t only for Valeos, but also Jaime’s Thavas. And I’ve seen that a lot of people are very satisfied with it.

It was established long ago how much respect Jaime has for Leon and how grateful he is to him. But, each character is up against someone they want to surpass, seemingly, so this also might be the case for Jaime. Hmm, looking at that illusion!Leon reminds me of when he was revealed as the true antagonist of the Asia Circuit arc. 

Another clan that got major support this time is Angel Feather, so this fight is also flashed out. Not really much to say about this. It’s pure rivalry and Rin being aggressive as always.

Not really a flashed out one, but I liked that Kai and Karl showed up beside Tsuneto. Now things look a lot more fair. I don’t know how this is possible, but I’m not complaining xD Trinity Dragon may be more comic reliefs, but they proved themselves. Plus, their teamwork is probably the best out there.

They even did the pose xD

This is an interesting one because both Kazumi and Kazuma have each other as an opponent. Hmm, illusion!Kazumi has the outfit from Next, when he was possessed by Shiranui. Could that mean Kazuma wants to surpass both his brother and Shiranui?

In Kazumi’s case, it doesn’t seem like the rule is respected. I think it might mean that he acknowledges Kazuma.

Taiyou expressed his wish of surpassing Chrono a long time ago, so this had to happen. 

Hiroki was also shown fighting, but his opponent wasn’t. I really wanted to see who it could be. Maybe Taiyou, since he was shown right after him, but it didn’t seem like there was some kind of competition going on with these two.

Here’s another interesting part. Both Makoto and Arata were fighting Chaos Breaker possessing Noa. Which makes so much sense, since right now this is the person they want to defeat the most. However, in Makoto’s case, Chaos Noa gets replaced by Arata. It just so happens that an episode ago Makoto lost to Arata. And the person who had confidence issues was Makoto. Maybe Arata as well, but low-key. 

What I’m trying to get at is Makoto might get some character development soon. Probably in episode 9, or after that, judging by the summary.

Mamoru vs the branch chief, now this is a fight I’d like to see. Of course, with both of them normal, otherwise it wouldn’t be funny xD

Ibuki vs his past self. That’s something that might have needed an episode of its own. Or, at least flashed out more. Firstly, because it means a lot to the character. The events in the Neon Messiah movie are something that he’s still regretting. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be fighting his past self. I also think it’s normal to feel like that, even a little. Everyone might have forgiven him, but he didn’t quite forgive himself. And that’s something I would like to see him learn to do. 

There were other characters, besides Hiroki, whose opponent wasn’t shown. Well, I can speculate that Kai’s was either Aichi or his reversed self, Misaki’s could have been Asaka or Kourin. Kei and Karl were shown with Tsuneto fighting Try 3, so I guess that’s what they were seeing as well. For Kamui...I don’t know...Tetsu maybe? He used to get annoyed by him every single time, but he could have grown out of it. Gouki is another possibility. Or even Aichi. However, I have no ideas for Kumi, Enishi and Hayao...

Very well pointed out by Ren that the Apostles haven’t moved a muscle to stop them. Something’s definitely up.

Here’s another case of the opponent changing. Except that, we see a bit later that Gastille himself showed up before Chrono to convince him to offer himself to Gyze. 

Now that I get to take a better look at Gastille’s design, I must say, I like it. There might be too many eyes, but overall I think it looks great. He’s a Demon Lord, so the design has to look menacing and not very human-like. It also fits with his polite (cause he always speaks so formal) and somewhat chill personality. 

For a moment I thought Shinonome will either replace Valeos, or join him for a 2 vs 1 fight. I guess either would have happened if Shion didn’t keep his calm and counter him. Shinonome has the habit of opening his mouth solely to annoy his opponent, but in this case he ended up helping. Guess it’s because Shion had learned how to deal with him. 

I don’t know if Tokoha expressing her gratitude to an illusion is going to do anything. At least the Miguel subplot lead to something, so guess this is a reminder.

Oh...it’s actually happening. Gastille sure is a cunning individual. I’m pretty sure he had his eyes set on Chrono, but it’s like he sent other possible candidates there just so he can make Chrono feel guilty for dragging them into this. 

This sure looked like one helpless situation. Dran and everyone else were reaching to him, but Chrono kept sinking. Only after the generators were destroyed he was freed and the mark disappeared. It might have ended well, but I don’t think they bothered to show this just for the thrills. 

It might not be an extremely important detail, but none of them woke up after returning. So, this also makes me think that something isn’t quite right. Especially regarding Chrono, since his mark was basically complete.

Before moving on, I have a feeling this scene is going to get expanded on in the next episode. The summary reveals that Tokoha received a card from Miguel’s illusion, so I think that’s what she is holding.

Chaos Breaker sure isn’t phased at all. In fact, he’s amused. So, whatever back-up plan the Apostles have, it might be something more threatening.

Darkface...always so dramatic. Gredora, low-key, is being a supportive mother.

Looks like Gastille is being realistic. There are only 6 of them vs a lot of fighters, so they couldn’t possibly protect all the generators. Hmm, but they do have those bodyguards though...They might not be Vanguard fighters, but they can keep people from infiltrating, I guess...Oh well, I wonder what Gastille wants to do with that data. It’s definitely part of his back-up plan.

As I mentioned earlier, Tokoha takes the spotlight in the next episode. It looks like her opponent will be Dumjid. Guess it’s time for her to pay him back. Also, Mamoru might show up. 

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Naruto Spectacular

Seating/Glasses

Second back row, almost right at the wall. Awful seating, but I could still see things clearly. Some people had binoculars ;; This year I decided not to go with the translator glasses – I’m sure they have a proper name, but they’re these cool glasses you wear when watching the performance and as the characters speak, subtitles come up. I believe they’re available in English and Chinese. Something like Naruto is easy for me to understand without subtitles, and last year I felt like only the main points were being subbed, instead of everything (maybe a fear people couldn’t read fast enough?) so I’d probably only recommend them if your Japanese is lacking. I’m not sure if they’d work properly sitting so far away either – maybe they’d overlap on the actors too much? I think they’re better if you use them up close tbh.

The Show I apologise for skipping between musical, spectacular, play, spectacle and show ;;; We start off with Konohamaru fighting bad guys. Personally I don’t care for him, and it was really an excuse to put an actor in the audience and for Naruto to look cool when he saved Konohamaru. Unnecessary scene, and from my spot, hard to see.

Essentially everything up to the ‘find Sasuke’ arc is ignored. So if you’re hoping for Sakura screen time, you’d best go back to the source material. In saying that, Sakura’s fight with Sasori is mentioned a few times, and she explains Sasori’s mannerisms to Yamato when they do the whole ‘Kabuto is Sasori’s spy’ scene. I can understand why they skipped it, as while it was hella cool to watch her kick ass, it’d be difficult to do in a stage play and you’d need to get the Suna Three back for such small scenes etc etc. Maybe if they do this play again next year, they can add that in. Tsunade gets a song as she kinda explains the mission, but honestly, you could give her lines to literally any other character. She’s not that influential. I think she looks like Tsunade, but her speaking voice feels too harsh to me.

Sai is golden. He looks fine, he looks like Sai, sounds like Sai. Like, y’all, I realise that’s what acting is, but not everyone can do it well. After the show, and in the break, numerous people went and bought Sai goods. (Also Itachi goods) He was a perfect Sai. When they’re finding Sasuke in Orochimaru’s lair, Naruto and Sai have a song and it’s pretty touching… until Sai tries to sing about Naruto’s dick. Naruto has the most perfect ‘dude, for real?’ look and I can’t wait to see it on dvd.

Speaking of new team 7 – Yamato’s scary face is done so so well! They end up putting it on a large screen behind him. It looks mostly like someone with a torch on their face, so it’s a little cheesy, but it works really well in the scenes it’s done in (two or three times?). Sakura also did her ‘meeting Sai’ scene, when she hits both Naruto and Sai, incredibly well. Not only is she insanely cute, she’s the perfect Sakura. Enough cool and enough cute. If they continue to do musicals until the completion of the show, I’m a little worried how Sasuke-obsessed they’ll make her, but so far it’s been toned down, which I appreciate.

Unfortunately Sai doesn’t try to capture Sasuke in his sleep. I can understand why (unnecessary stage props and all), but Sasuke being such a moody bitch when he wakes up that he blows up the base will forever be one of my favourite things. The whole meeting Naruto and co scene is kind of a let down too. It was nice, but considering how that’s how Shippuden opened and the build up to get there, the play didn’t have the same feel. This play was rushed a little, and this scene suffered for it.

Sasuke killing Orochimaru was great tho. Orochimaru’s voice will always be amazing, speaking or singing, so I’ll probably never say an Orochimaru scene is bad lol It was sufficiently creepy (though again, a little too fast) and gave Sasuke and Orochimaru equal voices.

Another scene that suffered was collecting Taka. This one I mostly grumble at due to my Taka-bias tho. Obviously they can’t spend episodes gathering the three of them, and to be fair, they did get a song. Karin was a little overly sexual, but considering they only showed her being ott twice? I won’t complain (especially in that outfit – she can honestly do what she wants and I’ll agree ;;;) Sometimes it was actually kind of cute. Another scene cut was finding Zabuza’s sword. Considering the time it took in the anime, and all the scene changes, it makes sense, but I enjoyed seeing Sasuke actually test his team – here, we have him just believing they’ll be suitable instead of confirming it. Juugo’s whole ‘male female’ scene was good too, and Karin egging Juugo on in his fight against Suigetsu was a good touch too.

In between scenes we often have Akatsuki stuff – Itachi generally barges in on Sasuke’s songs to tell him he’s weak af, and wherever Itachi goes, Kisame goes too. Naruto and Taka sometimes join as well, same for Deidara.

I really liked Deidara. Unfortunately his character was greatly reduced, but considering he isn’t insanely plot relevant, I guess it doesn’t make much of a difference… (Un?)fortunately, when he creates the giant Deidara, it’s a blow up. I was trying really hard not to cackle. It’s ridiculous. I lowkey hate it, lowkey love it’s cheesiness. Also, from where I was sitting, the tongue that is in his chest looks a little like something else. It just kinda… sprung free and I couldn’t take it seriously at all =.= I guess this scene was gold for all the wrong reasons lol

The search team is sent out for Sasuke and them running looks so stupid. I understand how hard it is to run around, since the space is so limited, but maybe instead of such a long running scene, have some of it just be talking? Maybe it looked good from the centre of the audience, but from my spot, it looked really lame. Kurenai’s team makes an appearance, but get a line or two each. Karin still gets Juugo to help her scatter Sasuke’s stuff, but I don’t believe it’s explicitly said what her plan is, so unless you’ve seen the show/read the manga (safe to say most audience members would – but sometimes people come to these things just because (shout out to the 80 year old couple at the Digimon play), or are accompanying a friend), you wouldn’t know what her plan was.

Next is the Itachi vs Sasuke scene and it was so good. Like, idk how to explain it. They had doubles for clones, it was spot on with lines and emotions. The audience got really involved in it, and it sucks that you know what’s coming because it hurts that much more… I’d say this is probably the highlight of the play. Obviously they’re two popular characters and their actions, since even before their introductions, have been the driving force of some plot incidents (Itachi killing the clan motivates Sasuke to be strong, goes to Orochimaru) and other character’s motivation (Sasuke’s abscence motivates Team 7), not to mention how emotional this scene is, so I think a lot of time and effort was placed into this scene. It worked really well and I wish I could explain it better ;;;

Taka becomes Hebi, and Tobi is done really well. Tobi interacts with Pein and Konan as well, but mostly with the Uchiha brothers. I’m biased toward Tobi as he ran up to us in the finale and I could high five him, but shush. Those gloves are real nice but in this heat I can’t imagine they’d be super comfortable… The ending song is the same (and I really hope we get a cast version soon – honestly last year’s Gaara/Oro duet part was ICONIC). Naruto also had some hella cool rad sticks and when he spun them, it made a Naruto face and stuff. Rad af.

In the comments, Sasuke just kept cackling, while Yamato and Sai were minor low key throwing shade at Deidara and Tobi who were actually speaking. They were dorks so there was plenty of time to laugh at them lol This team works together so well and you can see they’re good friends – sometimes you don’t feel that but in a series that is based on, partly at least, the power of friendship and love, that’s super important.

Honestly, while this year lacked the jumping around action of last year’s, I think it kinda showed how they characters matured? As soon as it ended I wanted to see it again! While I wanted to see last years again too, I was more serious about seeing this years again, but this late in the season makes it way too difficult  Guess I just have to wait for next year!

How does it compare to last year? I saw last year’s performance as well. Personally, I liked this year’s better. I am hugely Taka-biased tho. Even though my seats weren’t as good this year (were as bad as you could get tbh – last year I was in the second block, if I had been one row closer I could have high touched the actors), I feel more touched by this year’s performance – partly because it was more emotional to a lot of characters I guess? More interesting scenes too – the Lee/Naruto wake up scene last year was cute (and everything with InoShikaCho was amazing, and this musical didn’t have anything on that type of team bond/audience interaction feel, which was kinda sad), but this year had things like Orochimaru dying, so I guess it had less time for ‘filler’. Also, while I don’t hate Naruto, he’s not even in the top five of my fave Naruto characters ;; If anything, I felt like he was unnecessarily added in some scenes in this performance.

Also, while I didn’t talk to the fans (lots of people come by themselves, don’t want to talk to others and that’s ok! And I’m sure some of them are confused by the foreigner and worry about their English/my level of Japanese so don’t strike up a conversation and I’m too shy to do start one), when I was trying to organise the stupid amount of merch I bought, one girl offered to hold my coffee and someone else helped me when I dropped something. Also, the girls really brought their a-game this year and were splendidly dressed. I… wore a Naruto shirt and was underdressed in comparison ;;;

I felt like the girls around me were more emotional as well. Maybe some of the crowd last year had already seen the previous year’s performance and therefore knew what was coming, but more people were crying this year. This year felt a lot more fast paced, so everything happened faster and there were more intense moments, and I guess it was more than likely mostly Uchiha fans in the audience, which probably had something to do with it, but still, I think this audience was more involved than last year’s was.

There were some people waiting for the actors to leave (so they could wave them off in their taxis) but security practically pushed me out. Considering they weren’t doing the same to anyone else, I do feel it was race motivated – maybe they thought I wouldn’t fight back due to lacking Japanese, or something? Either way it was hella rude as I was getting my phone, train pass etc out of my bag and everyone was pretty far from where the taxis were going to be driving anyway. If someone spends 7000 yen on a ticket and then more than that on goods and preorders the bluray, while I don’t necessarily want respect, I think the least I deserve, the least type of customer service I should receive, is not being shoved.

I’d recommend the stage performances regardless. Seeing them live is so much more fun than watching them on a dvd! Obviously it isn’t realistic for everyone to do that, but try to at least support the official release in some way.

[shadowofthelamp]

Actually, y’know what? I’m gonna do that thing with the first 10 chapters of aip. They’re pretty short but I’m sure I’ll be able to find one bit for each. Commentary in parenthesis.

1- “You’re not cheating on me, are you?”

“Who else would put up with him?” The computer chimed in.

(My characterization of the Computer- and the little confetti comment- comes a lot from In Short Supply, I think. I like him as just, like.... a guy who can’t quit his job because it’s his only function and also he has no body outside of it, but is still going to gripe and make jokes about it. Also Zim’s complete denial for TWO DAYS that he was pregnant and just imagining the Computer getting more and more tired of trying to tell him is great. I do see why people saw this and decided they wanted to hop on and follow for more.)

2- Zim dragged himself up by tugging at Dib’s arms in one fluid motion, before gripping the collar of his shirt in an iron fist and staring down at him, feet planted firmly on top of Dib’s thighs. “You! You did this!”

”It sounds like you did it to yourself,” Dib said, shoving Zim off him on instinct, but that just tightened the irken's grip, nearly clunking their heads together as Dib was tugged forward by his own force. “I didn’t know you could even do that!”

(Trying to convey the show’s physical comedy style in text is really, really hard, but I did my best- both in AIP and in TD. Zim making excuses when he does in fact want the kid is also pretty damn cute.)

3- “I’m starting a log, so we can keep track of progress.” He turned the camera up to show Zim better, and Zim smacked it into Dib’s lap, the phone turning off.

“You will not use your record-y thing to show anyone my true form!” Dib grabbed the phone and held it protectively against his chest.

“Relax, I’m not going to show anyone. This is for my personal notes. Besides, if it’s like an experiment, you’re going to want records, right? Half the city has seen you out of disguise by now anyways.” Zim glared at him, and Dib threw up his arms. “Okay, go grab your disguise, happy?”

(I’m glad that I showed that while they WERE dating, they still had a bit to go when it came to trusting each other, it allowed a bit more development later on.)

4-  “If you’re telling me you actually screwed Zim, I’d rather carve my ears out than hear about it, so I’m going to stop you right there.”

(Yeah, this one’s just funny, no smart commentary here.)

5- The elevator started its descent, and Zim tapped his chin. “This shouldn’t be too bad. I’m an elite soldier, some discomfort for a while is manageable, and I’ll have a new squishy servant to help around the house. Which is more than anyone else around here does!” He called up. “Except for Minimoose. Minimoose is good.”

“I can stop this elevator right now and you can crawl the rest of the way down.”

(More fun Computer dialogue. This one also has Zim totally brushing off the risks, great job Zim.)

6-  “This is insane. I knocked up an alien who forgot how to count.” Dib raked a hand through his bedhead.

(This is one of my favorite lines in the whole fic lmao. I debated so, so hard over including the aging thing for fear of being Canceled or whatever. Even though Dib says they need to go back to it, they never did, oops. AIP Zim is roughly in the 17-22ish range in irken years since I do think they send out smeets while they’re still in the human 13-ish range, so while he’s an adult it’s hard to shift it over to Earth years.)

7-  Gir nodded, eyes flashing red for a moment. “Understood!” He went back to normal, nuzzling his cheek against Zim’s chest. “We’re a big happy family, like those ones on tv where they all yell at each other but hug it out after twen’y minutes!”

(Writing Gir is really fun, he’s got some good lines in this one. You SHOULD be able to roughly trace almost everything he says in my fics to a sort of Gir-logic, filtered through his brain. Also this was the first one to get chapter art, besides the cover!)

8-  If there was an opening on the board, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Hopefully they wouldn’t hold ‘dating the alien he spent years trying to destroy’ against him. No one knew besides Tunaghost anyways, and he’d like to keep it that way. (Tunaghost was herself dating a werewolf and had admitted it to him first, thank you very much, he hasn’t just blurted it out and now they had blackmail on each other like reasonable people)

(I probably should have done something with this, but oh well. It’s a good line. I think it really feels kinda in the... style of the show’s humor I guess? If not directly than in the spirit, at least. Also pregnant Zim with blowtorch was one of the first images I had while brainstorming.)

9- “You’re going to be fine. Trust me, if seven years of living on Earth haven’t killed you yet, especially with about four of them with me actively trying to finish the job, nothing will.”

“You’re just terrible at it.” Zim was grinning again, though, and Dib smiled back. 

“Good thing too. I’d much rather have you here than hanging up on somebody’s wall right now.”

“Ugh, that’s what you had planned?”

“Look, I knew up to the autopsy, everything after that was just details,” Dib said. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“I’d deserve a tank and a spotlight!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dib nudged him. “What would you have done with me?”

“Hmm… made you into a zombie slave.”

“That’s… actually kind of cool,” Dib admitted.

“The offer is still on the table if you’re interested.”

“I’ll pass,” Dib said.

(This is some fun banter to lighten the mood up a little after Zim got sick.)

10- “Aw, don’t be mean! It’s cute, you’s a big dolly.” Gir had a wide grin as Dib cautiously set Zim down. “No, Gir. Not cute. I am an invader!”

“I mean, he’s got a point. You are kind of adorable.” Dib said, holding down a hand for Gir to high-five, something the robot eagerly did.

The moment was a bit spoiled, however, by the fact that Zim took the distraction of the high-five to kick Dib right in the shin.

(I appreciate it when I nail the comic timing- like I mentioned above, it’s difficult to do in writing.)

______________

Aaaaaand... yeah, there’s definitely a lot that feels sloppy now, but there’s a lot of cute or funny little moments in here too that I didn’t even copy over. I really was putting my all into it, and I feel a little better about it now, after looking for the positives instead of dwelling on the stuff I don’t like as much anymore.

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 7]

The penultimate chapter!

Warnings this time include sex, violence, and a few references to what went down in the previous installments. 

Recap: Tiaa learned that her father is a vampire, and that she would become one herself if she had sex with Edward. Guess what she did. (Also, she killed Uncle Larry and drank his blood.)

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

thanx for the revews!

You’re so welcome!

Chapter 7 - Surprises!

I woke up sheepishly and wandered where I was for a minute.

Vampires don’t sleep, and no one wakes up “sheepishly.”

I got out of bed, wandering if all the things that had hapened to me last night were just a dream. I went downstairs for breakfast and sat down with Dave and Marie.

Vampires don’t eat breakfast, either. Unless she plans on eating Dave and Marie. I wouldn’t object.

THey look at me and smiles adoringly.

You do have a beta reader, right?

"wow tiaa i love your new hair and contat lenses, your look so beautiful!" said marie with her face all bright and happiness.

Marie freaks me the hell out. Why is she so perky?

I got up and look in a mirror. Holly shite! I looked totally diffrent! For the first time I could see my face was truely beautiful, it was even prettier than before.

If you can possibly imagine that, because Tiaa’s descriptions of herself in previous chapters weren’t exactly modest.

My eyes were a weird silver color like wet pools of noble moonlight in distant medows,and my ivory gold hair seemed to shimmer like the suns burned rays in the morning, with the purple streaks shining like neon lilac.

So in the Twilight universe, vampire eye color depends on how recently they last fed and what they last fed on. A vampire with human blood in their system will have red eyes; a hungry vampire has black eyes; vampires who eat nonhuman animals (like Edward and his family) have gold eyes after feeding. Tiaa ate Uncle Larry last night, and she’s newly turned, so she definitely has human blood in her body. Her eyes should be red.

I guess her hair’s the same except for the dye job, though, because she used to have multiple colors streaked into her hair and now she just has purple. Not sure how being a vampire would affect that, honestly.

I was radiant and magical and looked awesome.

I love this sentence.

My skin was even more pale than before and my features more delicate and queen-like, my nose was small and dashing and my cheeks were high and pale and my chin was soft but majestic. I was amazed.

I’m just hoping that she still smells like mint and cinnamon.

Suddenly the phone rang and nuked me out of my silent staring.

Must be one of those newfangled atomic phones.

Dave answered it.

"what? oh my god! Your kidding! This is inconsideratable!" and he hung up

Nice vocabulary, Dave. Nice job hanging up on the caller, too.

"whats happened honey?" Marie asked smiling

Why is she always smiling? Is her face stuck like that?

"uncle larry is died, it looks like he was ripped apart by a wild beast! I feel so sad!

Yeah, you seem real…

(wait for it…)

…torn up about it.

he was my brother"

Not sure why he needed to remind everyone. Can’t imagine Uncle Larry was a pleasant brother, though, since his entire character consisted of being ugly and evil.

I suddenly remembered what I had done, and i screamed and ran to school.

That’s not suspicious or anything! Actually, wait, it’s Dave and Marie; they won’t suspect a thing.

Also, I pictured her doing this like Gir from Invader Zim.

I felt so awful and giulty for what I had done! I new uncle larry was a perv and a rasist and even thou he had raped me and tied me up and spanked me and made my life hell I still shoudnt have killed him!

No, you totally should have killed him.

I was going to explode with guilt. i ran through the forest towards the school but suddenly a large thing appeared in front of me.

Wow! Love the description!

it was a bear - a big panda bear!

…this is happening in a small town in Washington State, correct?

it was huge and fluffy and realy cute, but I was scared as this was a totally weird thing to happen.

She’s not wrong.

But, then again, in the context of this story I guess it’s not too implausible.

"greetings atlantaina!" it said - i was totally freaked out - since when did panda bears live in Forks? And since when did they SPEAK? I was totally confused

You and me both, girl.

"WTF?" i screamed!

"I'm a panda bear, my name is Snooflanti-tatuna but you can call me Snoofles.”

Well, thank god, because I have no idea how to pronounce that first thing you said.

"A talking PANDA BEAR?" i shouted furiously

Why is she angry?

"I cannot talk like humans can, but your not human anymore so you can understand me. You can talk to animals. You probably have other powers too you just don't know it yet"

Oh, I get it. So I think I mentioned this earlier, but in the Twilight universe some vampires gain a special ability after being turned — typically an amplification of some ability they possessed as a human. That’s how come Edward can read minds, his sister Alice has visions of the future, his brother Jasper can influence the moods of others, and so on. Tiaa’s ability to communicate with animals comes out of nowhere only in the sense that it wasn’t foreshadowed; the power fits with canon otherwise.

I’m pretty sure one vampire having multiple extra abilities is unheard of, though. There goes Tiaa breaking the rules again. (Though at this point… after all she’s been through… I guess she deserves something good for a change, no?)

"like watt?" i said

"I dunno, touch that tree" said Snoofles, smiling at me.

Hey, hold up. How does the panda know all this shit? Like… how does he know who Tiaa is? How does he know about how vampires work? Even allowing that Tiaa can communicate with animals now, how come this one is demonstrating human-like sapience?

You know what, none of this will ever get explained and I’m done thinking about it. Let’s move on.

I touched the tree and consentrated hard and even though it was winter the tree suddenly started to bloom huge bunches of flowers. The flowers cascadad down like a river onto the bare forest floor. i took my hand away in horror. The flowers were so beautiful they made me think of edward. then i remembered how he had left me after we had made love, and i became angry. I touched another tree and it burst into flames. It was as if the trees turned into things that somehow reflected how I was feeling!

This power actually makes sense for volatile, moody Tiaa, but it’s not gonna be very useful until she learns to control it. Which might never happen because this girl is an emotional loose cannon. Also we’re on the second-to-last chapter.

"OMG, how is this possible?" i said

"Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol" said Snoofles with a big grin and he raised his eyebows,"but I'm so happy to find a person who can understand my speaking! i al; ways wanted a human friend! will you be my human friend?"

Nice going, author. I like how you had Snoofles know things he shouldn’t and then had him not know how he knows those things he shouldn’t. Great writing! Allows you to avoid explaining anything at all!

"well yah ok" i said, "but i have to go to school now so I'll see you later Snoofles ok?"

"that's cool" said Snoofles "i'll see you later"

I ran away and was totaly weirded out by my meeting with Snoofles.

I, too, was totally weirded out by your meeting with Snoofles.

I was almost in a trance at school and even though people starred at me and made coments about my new apperance I had never cared less.

Maybe because they did this every day anyway?

in gym class I ran around dressed in my gym clothes.

That is what one typically does in gym class, yes.

i was playing dodgball and the cleerleaders kept throwing there balls at me realy hard like biaches but i was dodging them at the speed of light.

Being subtle, I see! Good going convincing everyone you’re still human!

Lauren came over to me and tries to hit me over the face with her balls and I slapped her in the face.

Did Lauren just try and teabag Tiaa?

"WTF you freaky goth tudor bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag

I swear this fic has the best similes I have ever seen.

"leave me alone yeah?" i said looking more beautiful than ever

And this is relevant why?

"no - ill never leave u alone becase your so werid! what has hapened to your face its like your from another planet, your so pale and delicate its freaking everyone out and we all hate you!"

Well put, Lauren.

I was so mad i pushed her but when my hands touched her arms her skin started to blister and froth in a totally gross way and she got struck by a bolt of lightning. She wasnt dead or anything but she looked totally disgusting and she got taken to the hospital.

Nasty! Can’t say I feel bad for Lauren, though.

I didnt look for my friends and after gym class I sat in the changing rooms after everyone has left and cried becase I felt so sorry for watt I had done to uncle larry and to lauren.

Oh, come on. Lauren is just a bully, admittedly, but Uncle Larry was a rapist — a particularly violent one committing repeated rape against a teenager, no less. Killing him was just taking out the trash. And Lauren should be okay-ish after a few skin grafts.

I was sat there wearing a very short leather mini-dress and red ripped tights and a skull necklace and a gothic top hat with feathers on it.

She headed to an Emilie Autumn concert after school or what?

Suddenly I heard a voices from behind me

A voices. One voice, but it’s plural. Got it.

(I wanna make a System Shock joke here but I can’t think of a good one.)

"Tiaa? Tiaa? It is I Edward Cullen!" said edward.

No one on this planet talks like that. I don’t care what time period you’re from.

i turned to kook at him and he gasped in a high piched way and fell over onto the floor. I was mad at him and totaly upset about other stuff so i didnt check to see if he was ok. He got up in a minute.

…alright, I’m not sure how to react to that.

"I fainted Tiaa, thou is so sexy and exqisite i lost my contentioness.

I’m pretty sure vampires can’t faint. Did he pretend to faint? Because, if so, that’s really funny.

Thy face is even more sacred and filled with shinning glory than before, I am amazed" but then he noticed I was crying tears of soft blood and he said "what is wrong with thee?" said Edward

“Im trunign into a My Immortal characted!11!11!!1” I yielded depressingly as blod streemed down my iviory fetnures. “Ewdard fangz 4 all da help but not even u can salve me now. I”m gong to go slit my rists with a steak so i can end my live of mizery!112!!!!11111”

“OMS no Tiaa dont go!” Edwerd shooted sadly but it waz 2 latte. I cut miself with da knife and da word went blak.

"I killed someone Ewadrd! I killed my uncle and drank his blood and I think I made lauren get stuck by lightning"

Okay, but like… Edward knows your “uncle” had been raping and beating you repeatedly. The Lauren thing might be considered bad, since her main crime was just being an asshole, but Tiaa didn’t mean to hurt her like that, so it’s not really her fault.

"its ok Tiaa he was evil and noone cares about lauren" Edward says to comfort me and he put his arms round me

Dude has a point.

"still watt i did was awfull and anyways GET OFF ME!" i stood up and shock him off me "dont come near me ever again! I havent forgiven you for whatt happened last night! We did sex and you left me there in the forest!"

"I'm sorry! I cannot stay away from thee and yet I cannot be with thee either" he cried and threw his hands up and weeped

Hey, wanna play a drinking game? Take a shot every time Edward starts crying. Finish your drink every time Edward goes immediately from putting the moves on Tiaa to saying he can’t be with her or vice versa. I guarantee you will get very, very drunk.

"make your mind up Ewdard! this is a serious thing! Ether stay here with me now and screw me and be with me forrever or leave and go be with Bella! Make youre choice right now!"

That’s a reasonable ultimatum except for the part where she propositioned him for sex while they’re in a public area of their high school.

"I choose thee Atlantnina! Bella is a big mean cow and I cant be with her anymore!

Get wrecked, Bella.

I will never leave thou side again my lovley damsell!"

See? Was that so hard?

He started to cry and I kissed him. He was so amazing. His yellow eyes and tussled aubon hair and pale skin made me want to screw him all the time, I'd never seen anybody look so perfect.

Get a grip, kids, you’re at school.

I took off my dress so I was only wearing my underwear and i sat on his knee and we kissed a lot.

What part of “get a grip” was so hard for you to understand?

He touched me all over and I felt dizzy and week.

This is shaping up to be a very vague sex scene, huh?

"Do you mean it edward? You'll be mine forrever?"

"I does, i shall be thy mate" he said beautifully in his smooth hot velvet voice

I didn’t get any girls in high school, but I guess it was probably because I didn’t speak in butchered old-timey English, huh? Nothing gets teenage girls going like a little bizarre grammar!

I found some handcuffs on a bench and I tied him to a hook.

I could get analytical about what it means for Tiaa, who was chained to a bed and nearly raped the day before, to develop an interest in restraining her sexual partners… but I’m far more confused by why the hell there are handcuffs laying around in a high school.

he was unable to move and i took his pants down and looked at his throbbing lavender man-fruit thing.

Why is it lavender? Is he okay?

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I put it in my mouth and sucked it and he thrusted madly untill he had an orgasm in my mouth.

I’m far from being a seasoned erotica writer, but if you go from the beginning of the sex act to the climax in a single sentence it really makes it sound like your character came about 10 seconds in. Which, even for a 17-year-old boy, is pretty embarrassing.

The hot juice flowered in my mouth and it was magical.

I really don’t think it was, actually.

Sodenly a voice came from behind me

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?

It was……………………………. DUMBLEDORE!!11!!!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH AND NOW I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"

It was Bella Swan!

Okay, that had to have been a homage to “My Immortal.” And god bless!

Next chapter

[anaryosworks]

Moved here

From @anaryo

So, here is a iz secret santa present for @fruk-choosing-a-username

I hope you like it.

“You are still You”

Zim x GIR

Zim was sitting on the big couch, resting his chin on his folded hands, which rested on his knees. It had been a day… no a week, since he last came up with a good plan. He was struggling. That was not right.

It never took him this long to get his ideas in order. Never had he spent such a long time doing… Nothing…

Then again. Why would he? His mission was a hoax. Not to mention he was not even supposed to even be here. Or anywhere, at all. A Defective. That’s what he’d been called.

For a while he had been in denial. But as time went by, the word began to carve itself in his subconscious. Everything he had done, with the intention of gaining price and giving honor to the Irken Empire, had been for nothing.

Maybe that was it. Nothing he did had value any longer.

He leaned back on the couch in the living room, and stared up at the ceiling… Which for some reason was covered in multicolored lightbulbs, and… were those leaves?

He bolted off the couch, standing with his back straight, “GIR”

“Yes, Master?” the face of the robot pocked out of from behind one of the many power tubes covering the ceiling.

“What is the meaning of this?” his foot was tapping the floor, impatiently. GIR merely looked up and then back at his master, a wide grin on his face.

“I decorated it”

“I don’t recall ordering you to do this” the robot kept that grin on, despite his master’s obvious displeasure with the decorations.

“Cuz Master looked really sad” the tone he used was the usual, thought with a hint of what could be called sadness (if it was there. It was barely noticeable) “So I wanted to cheer yo up”

“Me? Sad? Hah! As if” Zim folded his arms, his chin held up. “I was not sad! I was” he paused, turning the word in his head, which he shook “Planning, That’s it! For my latest plan..!” Zim fell silent for a moment. The words felt empty, even coming out of his own mouth.

“Well, you haven’t exactly been planning anything for almost two weeks” the base’s computer spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen among them.

“Two weeks!?” he thought it had been one. Had he been out of it for that long? That’s impossible!

“Like, seriously. All you have done is stare into space”

Zim looked around at the ‘decorations’. Now that he was focusing, he saw some on the walls, and the front door. He hoped – for the love of Irk – that they didn’t touch the underground laboratories. Why would it matter? You don’t need those labs any longer.

Zim nearly jumped out of his skin. The Control Brain’s voice seemed to speak in his head. But there were no Control Brains on earth, which means. Was he hallucinating?

“Master has been looking really, really sad since he came back!” GIR’s voice snapped him back into the present.

“Like I said, I was not sad”

“Right….” That computer. Were they teaming up to contradict him? “Why wouldn’t they” there it was again, that voice. That hallucination. Only this time it was Tallest Red’s voice “You are a Defective, the worst Irken to even exit” now it was Tallest Purple.

Zim took another moment to push the voices out. But it was in vain. That word came floating back. “Defective…” he didn’t even notice when had spoken it out loud. GIR just stared, as if trying to understand the situation here. Which, knowing him, would be a miracle if he did.

After another moment of silence, GIR’s face turned into that friendly grin “I’m a make waffles!!” he said before running off into the kitchen. Soon, steam began to fly out of it.

Zim had to admit, the SIR Unit was fast when it came to food. He looked down a moment, then held his hands in front of his face. Shaking. He was shaking?

“Um” he heard the computer speak “I think you need rest”

“Whatever” he walked off to the kitchen and sat at the table. Skool was on vacation, for the holy days, so it was not much of a problem. He would be down in the labs, but the Tallest never picked up any of his transitions anymore. Not to mention, his head was blank when it came to planning nowadays it seemed. He just, couldn’t think of what to do.

He knew why, though, despite being in denial for so long.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since the trial set up by his leaders. The day everything he thought he knew crumbled to nothing upon hearing the Control Brains’ verdict. They had said he was Defective, not needed and should therefore be… Discarded. Like garbage.

The events clouded his mind, till today. He realized that, after what they said, his ‘mission’ just lost meaning. What was the point of conquering a planet now? What’s the point of it if there is no one who cared?

Zim was now resting his head on the table, a deep frown on his face. That’s it. The end of the line as they said.

Suddenly a place holding a mountain of waffles was put in front of his face, startling him. “Uh?”

“They’re ready!” again with that smile. GIR sat down on the other chair, prepared to eat.

“I don’t want them”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t” deserve such attention. A Defective should be ignored, discarded. “I’m not worth it GIR” he felt a knot in his throat.

“Master don’t be sad” the robot jumped out of the table and went to stand right beside Zim. Why was he so insistent on getting involved with him? Sure, he’d been the first Irken the robot saw when he first activated – he realized – but still. 

“I’m not sad, GIR” a tiny metallic hand tugged on his shirt – a piece of an Invader’s uniform – he batted the hand away. “Eat them yourself”

“But It’s chrismas” came the words. Zim turned and was met with the Robot’s pleading expression “We gotta eat together”

He realized with a jolt that this robot would not move from where he was unless Zim did as told. Who did he think he is? Then, after having a staring contest with GIR, something else surfaced in his mind.

Even though everyone ignored him, GIR refused to do so. Why was that? “Hey, GIR” 

“Hm?”

“Why are you still here?” the robot merely stared “I mean, there are better places to be out there. Especially better than this”

“But I don’t wanna!” the robot now bore an expression of anger. His eyes weren’t turning red, so it was not Duty Mode. “My place is with Master. And I only have one!”

“Excuse me?”

“Master is Master. And no one can replace him!” Zim realized at that moment the reason why the robot had stayed. He was fond of him, very much so, despite everything.

Zim signed, a smile sneaking up on his face. The only one who accepted him out of the people around him, was none other than this tiny robot. It didn’t matter what they said, or what they thought of him. GIR would be – and has been – with him the entire time. If this little airhead of a robot could accept someone like him for who he was, then perhaps there is still some hope for him.

He felt something warm in his chest. Was that happiness? Zim chuckled “Fine” he said, looking at GIR with an expression of genuine joy. “GIR let’s eat before it gets cold!”

A wide smile appeared on GIR’s face. He rushed to the other chair, and soon both had started eating the pile of waffles. Until there was nothing left.

Unbeknownst to them, mistletoe was hanging right above them. Will they notice, I wonder?

***********************************************************

Ok, so this turned out quite a bit rushed – or at least it felt like that to me, not to mention sad (I’m sorry) ;;w;;

This is the first Invader Zim fanfiction I have ever written. Not the happiest nor saddest, I guess. I tried to make it a short story of acceptance, I hope did well. (maybe)