#pushing each other to the edge
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Reality Check
#ros and mocha giving reality checks in their own ways#pushing each other to the edge#i could write pages and pages of these two's dynamic#like oil and water in the same boiling pot#two sides of the same coin#but now my boy is gone ):#the realm smp#trsmp#trsmp fanart#trsmp roscumber#trsmp pili#trsmp mocha#pili dtowncat#dtowncat#dtowncat fanart#roscumber#roscumber fanart#my art#fanart
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You’re funny. But who are you?
#pickle ii#taco ii#paco#inanimate insanity#crazy abt them the past few days#theyre permanently ingrained in one another’s lives and can never forget each other#the good times and the bad times#wait im crazy about them always. but he wishes he never met her pushed me over the edge#i love it#poor taco#poor pickle#quigart
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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Stede torturing Izzy & denying his orgasm until he calls him Stede, not Bonnet (or Sir)
#(the 'or sir' really trips Izzy up in the heat of it- Stede pushing & pushing him on calling him the correct name but hes so worked up that#all he can do for a minute is fall back on years of play & beg for his sir to please grant him release)#(its tempting; having Izzy finally treat him with a little respect- but its not what hes looking for; so on they go)#this could be really early in their relationship; when izzy categorically refuses to treat stede with any politeness#or much later on & its a fun game for them where saying stede is izzys way of signalling hes ready to be done with the scene#dealers choice!#assign is as much negotiation as makes you happy#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#stede bonnet#gentlehands#stizzy#nsft#man i feel Weird posting this. i know none of yall care but i guess i do still have some hang ups around talking about sex/kink things#when im not into it & never participate#anyway#stizzy edging so fun to me. they are so mean to each other <3
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not to keep waffling on about this but a thing I have noticed in many areas of my life, from protests to marital arts to mosh pits, is that
while I'm not particularly good at proprioception, have no depth perception and frankly mediocre core strength for someone who's been weight training for 2 years, and at times in my life I have just Fallen Over Regularly For No Reason because my legs stopped being legs for a second
I am, for whatever reason, basically impossible to push over or move through force
like I don't know if I just have an unusually low centre of gravity or just fuckin stubborn or what but I am just preternaturally good at being Hard To Move
some of it is a learnable skill but I think I just have short little tree trunk legs and solid body mass and when I plant my feet and drop my weight down even a bit I become like unto a boulder. it's a fun quirk of my character build.
#red said#can't believe i ever thought my avatarsona could be anything but an earthbender#to be clear if i start moving I'm moderately fucked#like not unusually so but I'm a normal or slightly more than normal amount of easy to push over if i lift my feet#so i reel around mosh pits constantly on the verge of total collapse#but if I'm on the edge of a mosh pit a stack of people twice my size can collapse into me and i won't even need to rebalance#my superpower is My Feet Are Floor Magnets#idk if it's genetic but if it is it comes through my dad#cause like a year ago my mum was talking about tai chi and how her teacher had them all push each other without resisting#and see how a light push could unbalance them#and to demonstrate she said 'don't try to stay standing straight' and pushed me and i watched her increase force#and get more and more confused and i literally Was Not Consciously Resisting my body just Doesn't Do Being Pushed#and she was like 'what the fuck. my partner pushed me way lighter than that and i stepped over sideways'#but i do think it's to some degree familial cause my brother is also something of an immovable object#and we have not dissimilar builds in terms of shortish muscular legs and hips#so yeah i think that's just physical advantage
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a year ago today, february 17th, they released the stranger things 4 posters and announced the new season
#and then i made this sideblog a month later bc i was already lurking in the byler tag for years and seeing them looking at each other was#what finally pushed me over the edge to join you guys#stranger things#byler
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It always comes back to the same problems. Tale, Fell, Swap, the majority of all my other AUs, Sans feels tremendous amounts of pressure to take care of his brother and tries hard not to let Papyrus know just how difficult it truly is for him, Papyrus can obviously tell anyway, and feels tons of pressure to take more responsibility for himself.
Papyrus is so easily influenced at such a young age, and learns to keep the struggles a secret from Sans, and later on unintentionally doing the same thing Sans did by trying to hide the burden so it wouldn't weigh on his brother.
Maybe the exact why or other circumstances vary but it always ends up that way. Sans thinks he has to do everything on his own and Papyrus just wants to help him, but the only way he knows how is to do the exact thing that only worries Sans more but neither will just talk about it. For one reason or another. They are locked in knowing the other cares, wanting to take care of them, but failing to ever actually do things to better their relationship, only creating more, and more, and more distance.
Because distance is safer than dragging each other down. It takes a very long time to realize they were doing that anyway (if they ever get so lucky).
#okay I have to stop thinking about it or I'm gunna start thinking about VF and then I'll be ill so yeah#it's esp grueling in uf bc edge KNOWS. he KNOWS how much the distance hurts them but no matter how many times he’s tried to close it Sans#keeps him at arms length. pushes him away. bc he’s convinced he’s not gunna make it and Papyrus has to learn how to deal w/o him. bc he#'knows' how useless he is. how much he burdens Papyrus. and he just wants him to stop...CARING so damn much. he sees how much it hurts#Papyrus and it kills him but he knows it would be so much worse if he let him in. he would be the death of both of them and he won't do#that to him. he won't.#FUCK they all make me so emotional bc they care abt each other so much but can't ever figure out how to make it not hurt#okay.#okay. done being a drama queen for now. good evening#sun spots#undertale#underfell#underswap#ut rus#ut sans#us stretch#us blue#uf edge#uf red
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Reading aleheather fics and killing myself because Nobody gets them like i do
#Like yes Heather is in charge#But they are not basic girlboss malewife couple OKAY just because the girl is in charge doesnt make them boring everyman couple#They match each other's freak in disgusting and horrible ways#Hes charming and polite and puts on the Charm to nice old ladies in the checkout line#Heather does not give a fuck she is rude and bitter even to nice old ladies#He knows not to step out of line but he pushes every one of her buttons#He is besotted. insane. Obessed with her. she is mostly normal about him#he would die for her. She would not. but she would kill for him#This is not them as teenagers btw this is when they are married and old and have liver failure and cancer and shit#Omggg Failmarriage Divorce hearing aleheather AU! Who wants it#They keep edging the general public with threats of divorce#their divorce lawyer HATES THEM!!!!!#will they won't they but it's whether or not they'll stay together#aleheather
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I really like to think that even though zooble and jax are religiously being menaces to each other's mental and physical health, they still care for each other though it's much less obvious
And in the evening after (during the day) some particularly rough thing was said or if one physically hurt the other a bit too much they come to visit their room just to make sure the other is doing okay mentally and physically & to comfort them if they aren't
Though if everything ends up being fine they just keep fucking around and being insufferable for fun
I don't know if what I said makes sense lmao
that makes so much sense that is them... 🥺🥺
#puppytxt#ask#answer#anonymous#they hate each other but at the end of the day they dont want to push the other over the edge or the guilt would eat them alive
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“calder’s home is wherever i am” 🥺🥺🥺🥺 THERES SOMETHING ABOUT EMILY AND JAKE CHARACTERS IN BAHUMIA FINDING HOMES WITHIN EACH OTHER 😭😭😭
#naddpod#naddpod spoilers#ba2mia#also#‘and maybe we haven’t said that out loud but we can negotiate that later’ was wonderful ��🥹#this in combination with their reunion remarks has pushed me over the edge#I’ve been fighting the compulsion to wish for callie and calder to maybe be falling for each other since like ep 5#but this is too much#i’m officially falling into the ‘they’re in love’ spiral 🙃#(before i was just unofficially falling into it 💀)#(also by ‘they’re in love’ i don’t know if i fully mean romantically or if it’s just like friends is simply too small of a word for them)#naddpod lb#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#calder x callie
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What does Ashreera and Shadowheart like about each other respectively? Fluff qn :)
Heya anon! I really enjoyed writing the answer to this one 💜
Because I'm me, this got kinda long-winded. All of this is stuff that's in the fics. The fluffy fics show the domestic side of things, but It Is the Wound She Gave Me and Like I Am Safe Again are the linchpins to their relationship. The Gauntlet/Nightsong fic that I'm chipping away at will be equally as important!
But I like typing about my babies soooooooo!
Shadowheart finds Asheera's bad jokes and obvious flirting endearing. Asheera's also pretty forward without disrespecting her boundaries, and Shadowheart loves that. In-game Asheera challenges her without trodding on firm "no" areas, and that's a huge show of respect. Shadowheart's low level of self-esteem gets big validation from someone like Asheera.
Even when Asheera is being a Paladin-ass Paladin™ she is always leaving room in their relationship for Shadowheart to have agency over what to share, who to be, and things like the events in the Gauntlet/Shadowfell. That's not something you get as a Sharran, and from someone that's dedicated to redeeming monsters and creating change in the world... I mean, the themes are right there!
Asheera finds Shadowheart's love of animals very telling of the kind of person she is. Asheera thinks someone who is as willing to say, "I'd rather not talk about this" as Shadowheart has a firm command of what she wants. Even if she needs nudges to know it's OK to express her desires and needs as well as what she doesn't want. The slim difference is actually huge.
Even when Shadowheart is potentially on the road to becoming a Dark Justiciar, and therefore someone that Asheera must kill, she is taking these things for herself that she deserves. Asheera might hate the choice that Shadowheart could make, but it's Shadowheart's choice. Shadowheart spares Aylin for whatever her reasons are (crisis of faith + wanting to know the memories and past that Aylin can give her) but Asheera sees it as someone that's finally embracing the fact that she is a person and she deserves to choose. When Shadowheart turns to Asheera and asks, "what should I do?" Asheera says nothing. She just nods. Shadowheart chooses for herself from that point onward.
As for in a love sense and not just a general "companionship" sense?
Shadowheart loves that Asheera isn't complicated in her love. There's nothing for her to hide with Asheera. She's tired of darkness. Asheera embraces her faults and all the things she's done as a Sharran without any hate in her heart. Though Asheera is a paladin of Redemption, she also doesn't treat Shadowheart as a project to fix. Shadowheart is just Shadowheart, and that makes it easy for her to love Asheera. She likes that no matter how she's feeling, no matter the kind of day she's had, Asheera is there for her. In anger, in joy, and in darkness.
Asheera loves Shadowheart's strength and perseverance, and the fact that she can pick herself up after something that would destroy most people. That she's extremely capable, but also that she's strong enough to share her moments of vulnerability or uncertainty. That she cares so much more than she lets on. That Shadowheart knows she can trust Asheera with anything, and that after a certain point she does.
Love is something that changes shape, especially in long-term romantic relationships. Sometimes the changes are good, though.
#hey you can ask me things!#oc: asheera#asheera's takes on the other companions in the tags!#Asheera enjoys Karlach's ability to live in the moment and they are the best buds#Astarion is a strange little man that Asheera desperately wants to make a “good” person (good luck)#Gale is that delightful friend who has really specific interests that she loves being around because hearing his excitement makes her happy#Lae'zel is that person she respects but there's an edge to it that never quite pushes over into hating each other#Wyll is a friend that tries to be all buddy buddy because they're both Baldurian but Wyll is a noble-ass noble and Asheera is NOT#Halsin and Asheera get along swimmingly but it's nothing special#Jaheira finds Asheera to be little more than a child in a lot of ways and thinks that she has a lot to learn (in a motherly sorta way)#Minsc doesn't get why Asheera thinks so much of what he says is funny but he respects paladins (the way he talks about Keldorn in BG2!!!!)#y'all should go see the banter Minsc has with Aerie in BG2 about wanting her to be his new witch...#it makes his almost rage moment after talking about Shadowheart post-House of Grief even more heartwarming#I know Minsc is ha-ha funny man but he has so much heart and he is absurdly endearing
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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it’s been like -10 to -12 celsius (like 10 fahrenheit?) here for over two weeks i’m so over it!! can mother nature unchill
#i’m so anxious today my thoughts are screaming over each other and the fact that i dread going outside ain’t helping#like it’s so cold and dark like stop pushing me!!!!! i’m on the edge as is!!!!!!!
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my fave thing about my personal nortnaib hc imagination palace is that everyone is afraid of norton except for naib and no one is afraid of naib except for norton
#they rlly see each other#all anyone would have to do is tell norton to kill himself and it would push him over the edge#hes scary and mean and they have a right to be afraid of him but naibs not#bc naib knows hes a depressed pussy living out of spite alone#also naib could skin him alive in .02 seconds flat#no ones afraid of naib bc hes a manlet who eats sweets and has stuffed animals#but they should be bc he WILL kill u if he has to#naib is a sensitive empathic baby tho and he cares about nortons depression and all that gay stuff#he has kinda a savior complex#and a caregiver complex#norton is working on being a human but he sees naib as his possession#naibs the only person norton will be vulnerable with#but hes codependent he just wants someone to baby and coddle him#and pat his head and say “there there” when hes sad#he prob feels safe doing that w naib bc naib is so small he has a fake sense of security#but also naib is so strong and a killing machine that norton feels hes the only one whos safe being that intimately close w him#bc norton has tendencies to snap and become a rlly cruel person#even to naib#naib feels security with norton bc even tho hes a skilled merc and all hardcore#inside hes rlly just a small soft lil guy and he wants a big manly man to protect him#also naib has violent ptsd and night terrors and nortons big enough to hold him down#and naib doesnt wanna inflict that on anyone else#but he doesnt feel bad w norton bc nortons a dick and even tho its not intentional#he deserves to get beaten up sometimes#naib provides everything norton codependently needs from a person so he's taken ownership of naib to fulfill that need#naib is so caring he doesnt wanna inflict his issues on good ppl but he also needs to be a caregiver to someone who needs someone#so he codependently relies on norton for that#they are completely codependent#but they fulfill each others needs and wants almost perfectly#they're so toxic i love them
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me and the devil’s so kristen-coded i could write a whole cliffhanger episode ending to it 😩😩
#feelin like that iasip conspiracy map meme rn#i promise if you listen to it i sound sane and well 😀#bc the season ended w all the demons together#& we already know kristen’s connected to the baby#so anyways she’s gettin the vibes that she’s gonna die & she doesn’t want to go without knowing david#she begs him and they have sex that’s mostly about their faces and them holding each other’s faces#it’s all very intimate and angsty and sad#he insists that she stay with him bc he’s That concerned about her#wakes up to sister angela waking him up bc she feels something is wrong#the demons herded kristen up to an open area very high up in the church and are trying to get her to walk off the edge#to sister angela it looks like they push her#to david it looks like a gust of wind#but he saves her and they embrace#and then maybe the demons’ effects are lessened bc of like amazing love powers or something idk#can’t tell rn if that would fit tonally and thematically with the show lol#evil cbs
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i need every board game designer to get someone with tremors (shaky hands) on the playtesting/accessibility team.
#there has to be a better way#accessibility#board games#tiny little tokens that are sooo easy to push onto other parts of the board when you're only trying to move one of them#i know it would increase costs#it would increase my enjoyment too#make every place on the board where a token would go slightly indented#or put a rim on the edge of each area#or find a way to track it without tiny tokens#i love board games but this is a constant mild frustration#asking people to move pieces for me gets old#i know they dont mind but i mind
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