#push and push and push and still expect smth to happen. you just cant.

[possum-tooth]

trying to decide if i just wanna leave now.

[things-that-weevils-do]

ive been turning these 2 around in my mind so so much lately... id like to share why i like them, so ill do so under cut :)

what draws them together? both of their traumas are part of them. neither of them are going to 'get better' in the expected way. they can learn to cope with their struggles, possibly get medications to help with that, but that's it. theyre similar in many things ('their trauma isnt leaving', both are suicidal "feeling suicidal/i wish i wasnt alive" "i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL"), neither like who they are as people "all the pretty girls make me not wanna be me" "do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?") and both of their songs are about their relationships with other people, even if its not the main theme

weevildoing said this about disposable girl. with chemical girl, its more obvious

this gives them both a deeper understanding of each other !! even though their traumas are still different, theyve got this similarity. they could talk about that, relate to each other, etc...

another thing that draws them together: their interests, id say! she was a skater girl she was a fitness girl, can i make it any more obvious... most of their hobbies arent the exact same, but they are at least in a similar vein id say - anime and gundam, skating and fitness, rap and megan thee stallion. they could easily enjoy each other's interest, i think!:)

what stands in the way? misunderstanding and miscommunication. i think that (when theyre first getting to know each other, at least) disposable wouldnt stand up for herself/tell chemical when shes uncomfortable/when chemical says something that upsets her ("being mistreated would at least mean im real" "that at least means youre someone that they wanna be around"). she'd feel like voicing these things would cost her her and chemical's relationship. i also feel like she wouldnt see this as something worth communicating, possibly

thatd be a problem in all relationships ofc, but itd upset chemical girl especially. she has a hard time forming relationships ("i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know?"). she pushes others away so that she cant hurt them ("theres no point in getting close, leave me alone"). i think that if she and disposable got close, and she found out that it isnt communicating its feelings, shed be upset !! yknow ?? thinking that youve finally found a friend that likes you as you are, when in reality ur just hurting them with everything that you say... getting close to someone for the first time in forever, opening up, just to find that out would probs frustrate her

have an example of smth that i think that would happen when theyre first getting to know each other

i think they'd communicate this eventually tho:) yay yippee! im communication and im understanding🏳️‍🌈the girlfriends

what are their good traits? they want to be there for each other, to help each other grow, to understand one another!! like in "what draws them together?", they understand each other more than the average person. they could help each other accept this - like, its easier to accept people for things that you beat yourself up about, yknow? were more strict with ourselves than other people, its easier to deem someone else as deserving of love than yourself, etc etc... since theyre similar in many things, they could learn to love themselves while they start to love each other !! i hope that makes sense..

them sharing hobbies would be SOOO so cute!!! chemical teaching disposable fitness so that she has an outlet for her frustration, disposable teaching chemical how to skate... chemical showing it gundam, her figurine collection, disposable showing her anime, them listening to rap together.... it would be so cute !!!!! i think disposable would enjoy fitness, but would be embarassed by being bad at it/being slow/sweating a lot/etc. chemical would be cheering her on, proud of her for the smallest improvements... likewise, i think chemical would suck at skating. steps on the skateboard and it explodes. u know how it is

what makes them hopeless at romance? ARGHHH "what to do, when everybody that ive loved has only up and left me?" "im alwasy left out of everything" "nobody fuckinf wants me" vs "theres no point in getting close, leave me alone" "i dont think you should come by my place tonight" "nobody can keep up with me"... need i say more...

i think they should latch onto each other like leeches and never let go

thank you if youve read this far:) theyre so everything to me !!!! theyre sooo... god... shaking them!!!! arghrrrr!!! chemwaste!!! save me chemwaste!!!

(both of these poses are from mellon_soup)

[sadie-bug345]

greasers when they’re sick

i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆‍♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO

ponyboy:

hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed

also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭

probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues

”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up

and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭

johnny:

def the type to not accept help

like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”

if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth

idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure

sodapop:

i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭

idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs

other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃

definitely unfazed by sickness in general

until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰

we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone

darry:

now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry

he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people

so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt

like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react

goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time

dally:

i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time

also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭

just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)

like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭

the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT

istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up

but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰

two-bit:

honestly stays home from school like a normal person

except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭

and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it

and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡

steve:

CANT STOP WONT STOP

bro just pushes thru the pain😭

he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍‍♀️)

and then goes all loopy for hours straight

and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised

LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE

ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶

[enden-k]

Wwwhat if. Hydro Eidolon Kaveh is inside one of the buildings working on his designs. Making his greatest dreams come true. What if he starts to feel that even with all his designs brought to life flawlessly, something is missing and all the beauty in the bottle can't make him feel better. What if he feels guilty that he can't be satisfied even with his greatest dreams coming true. What if he hopes for a certain someone to walk in every day

the need to push haitham into the bottle now

ok warning for character death↓ but i just had a thought

what if kaveh died very abruptly, in an accident or smth like truly one day being there and in the next when no one expected it at all (how could you even expect smth like this) hes gone just like that and haitham changes. he seems like his usual self from the outside, for people who dont know him as well as kaveh did, but inside smth is different

suddenly hes out on research trips or whatever he wanna call it bc he cant stay in their his own house for too long rn, needing to be away to deal with this and focus on healing (even tho there always will be smth missing)

so what if he somehow finds this bottle and his way in there, not thinking of it much and just explores it out of curiosity like he would any ruin. and suddenly he hears this familiar voice grumbling away at smth and he hurries to check, half expecting hes finally gone mad but then he sees kaveh there fixing smth - not quite kaveh but at the same time very much him - and its like nothing in the past weeks had happened, his way too sharp mind tricking him into believing kaveh is still there, just for a tiny moment to relieve this heartache when their eyes meet

(i dont like character death stuff bc it makes me sad LMFAO but thats an interesting concept. i wont go further with this tho ✌️)

[jeonfiles]

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

join the “once more to see you” taglist

a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[tigerdrop]

king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey

 listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased

so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."

envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon

ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching, 

if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny 

alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension

furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"

you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this 

Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched 

what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it

and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series

YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool

giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ

i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......

Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do 

Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam

its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate 

benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours

i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise 

gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop

a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when  gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you?  you sure about that one." 

tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real....... 

even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place 

knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly 

and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder....... 

maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair....... 

alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid 

eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here 

UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH

and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does 

eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red 

sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive....... 

He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING 

gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight 

benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"

trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in

benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-

thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable 

"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune

imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon? 

gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind 

its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz

probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish

new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides

benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something

i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health

you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again" 

i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks 

neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that

i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased

[princeoftennispillows]

The stuff you have been posting so far has been so great !! I was wondering if I could request headcanons for the team teasing Sanada (mayb tezuka too if you’re down ??) since his S/O fell asleep on his shoulder during lunch or smth. Thanks in advanced if you write this request and keep up the good work !! I’ll definitely be requesting more in the future 😎

Hi there! Thank you for reading so far aaaaa still cant wrap around my head that some people are willing to read my hcs

This ones a bit long? I don’t know cause its in point form but I hope you enjoy this <3 its just chaotic here ✨✨✨

Tags: Fluff!

Sanada Genichirou x Reader

You would always call Sanada, but since he went into the U-17 camp, you couldn’t call as often

Usually you’d call while you’re doing your homework or when you were preparing your meals for the next day, it was nicer that way, you felt like he was there with you while you’re getting things done

You called him that night and asked how he was doing over there

“Well, lots of things happened, but tarundoru!” 

He’d say his usual line which always made you chuckle at how ridiculous he’d sound sometimes, but you loved him for that

“But well, we seem to be getting a day off tomorrow, seems like some people are getting visits too,”

You were happy to hear that, you really were, but you made sure to reconfirm back with him to ensure that you heard him right

“I’m coming over tomorrow!’ your tone became a pitch higher “I’ll bring some lunch for us, maybe enough for your teammates too! Is there anything you’d wish to be included? I’ll make sure to pack em up nicely for you, Genichirou,” you beamed excitedly.

Sanada loved your cooking, and he missed it too, especially any meat dishes you did, they really just felt homey.

Sanada coughed, trying to not sound too happy but he really was looking forward to your visit

“Be careful on your way here tomorrow, try not to stay up too late. I gotta go now, pretty tired from practice today,” he paused “I um, l-love you, (y/n), hoping to see you tomorrow, good night,” he said before ending the call

“Genichirou wait- ah, there he goes again, ending the call without letting me say good night,” you’d sigh, but you smiled so widely cause he actually said he loves you, directly, that’s pretty rare! 

You finished prepping the lunch boxes pretty late but well, it was worth it! You went to bed straight after

By the time you arrived at the U-17 camp the next day, it was already noon, just in time for lunch

Sanada made sure you updated him your whereabouts and all; it felt like he was your parent

‘Genichirou, I’m here already’ you texted him and got an immediate reply ‘Ok, be there in 5,’ and you thought it was 5 mins but he came there in 5 seconds

He was panting, and you could tell that if he took off his cap, his hair is disheveled

“Sorry, must’ve kept you waiting,” and you smiled to him, holding back a laugh “You literally came in 5 seconds Genichirou! I have to apologise for making you wait. Come, lets go now,”

You gave him a small peck on his cheek to which, he blushed, so he shifted his cap to hide it

You laid out the lunch boxes you prepped just enough (maybe) for the Rikkai boys. Honestly if you could, you would’ve probably brought much more, enough to feed the whole middle schoolers. But that requires more time and energy, and neither, did you have

“Good lord, senpai! This is so good!” Akaya beamed at you as he chowed down

“Guess our vice here is reaaaally lucky huh?” Niou said as he nudged Sanada, who, has been very quiet the whole time

The rest of the team laughed at Niou’s remark, they could’ve teased him more but well, they had to behave here (not that they did anyway)

“But I bet it’s not as good as what you guys have here— i mean look at those,” you said gesturing to the meals they served in camp

“The cookings here don’t feel like home as much as yours do, yknow,” Sanada spoke, making brief eye contact with you before focusing on finishing his food

That made his teammates coo at him btw and he turned really really red

“Tarundoru!” he’d say yet again, embarrassedly this time, it was well, very cute

You smiled happily, it was really enough to give you assurance about the food you brought. It felt warm inside seeing people enjoying it

“Thanks your the meal, (y/n)-chan,” everyone thanked you happily. They sounded really genuine about it too!

“Well now, I think its time for us to continue on with our practice? We shouldn’t let our performance die down just because we get some time off. Well now everyone, lets get moving; except for, well, Genichirou of course,” Yukimura said as he smiled softly at you and nodded his head to Sanada

“But- buchou!” Akaya couldn’t finish what he had to say before getting pushed by both Jackal and Marui as they left the cafe

You chuckled at how lovable they are, you really had the best time with them

Sanada softly grabbed your wrist so you’d turn facing him “Want me to show you around?” of course, you nodded and showed him a grin

You guys talked for such a long time, it was rlly nice; you didn’t even realised you finished touring the whole camp. By the time you did though, you grew tired. Sanada had to seat you on a bench nearby the courts

Eventually you drifted off, you were leaning against him, head on his shoulder and fingers intertwined with his. Sanada looked at you longingly and had a little smile on his face. He took off his cap and put it on your head so you’d get more shade

“Well, if it isn’t Genichirou, isn’t it a coincidence?” Yukimura. That was Yukimura’s voice. “I think I miscalculated a bit, I didn’t expect to see the both of you here at all,” and that was Renji

The 2/3 or the monsters from rikkai just smiled at him, knowing that he couldn’t do anything, atleast, not while you were asleep. Sanada just let out a soft groan of annoyance. Just the two of them isn’t that bad

Unluckily for him though, turns out that the whole team was there

“Pio,” Niou said as he snapped a pic on his phone; making a mental note to send it to you later on

Marui and Akaya. Boy were they getting on his nerves, but not enough, yet, to make him go shEEEEEHHH

That’s thanks to Yagyuu and Jackal for preventing them from going any further btw, it surely can’t get any worse

But Sanada was wrong. And he finally lost it

Tezuka Kunimitsu. He witnessed it

Tezuka didn’t do anything though, he just well, looked and looked away right after, as he was passing by

He really do be saying ‘I pretend I do not see but in reality I do’

“SHEEEEEEEHHHH” Sanada went, which of course woke you up

But you just groggily looked at him and fell asleep again, nuzzling closer to him

The rikkai boys wondered, how in the world did you fall asleep again from that

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[sotorubio]

Can you maybe say what you liked about circe, because I’ve tried reading it a couple times but I can’t get past the first several chapters

absolutely i can!! it's been almost a year since i read it so i don't remember everything 100% but here's the short review i wrote fresh after finishing it last year

i think it's the type of book that u either fall in love with or find rly boring bc it's not that plot heavy u know! like i was surprised how much i loved it bc i usually tend to go for books w fast paced plot n this is more focused on characters or one character specifically

however one of my absolute favorite things abt books is world building & analysis that i can do! that's why i love books like, for example, the night circus & circe despite the fact that they don't have a clear plot in the same way a lot of fantasy books abt saving the world from an evil force do or books whose characters have a clear mission do. so the world building n intertextuality in circe is rly great n a good fit for me at least!

regarding the analysis part the book is FILLED with beautiful symbolism n foreshadowing that i had a blast with! i wrote a lot of my thoguhts in the margins & underlined so many things bc the story just kept connecting so beautifully... i also got the english copy bc i wanted to read it in the original language which was a great choice since the writing style flowed so well & some of the stuff felt even poetic! for example the very first sentence that i underlined from the book was already on page 8:

"I imagined them, low as worms, sagging and bent. Please, they cried, on bony knees, it wasn't our fault, the sun itself was late."

after reading that line i already knew this is going to be one of my favorite books of all time it just caught me rly off guard i cant even explain why it just rly made me appreciate the author's writing style that is modern enough not to bore me but also has formal moments like these that remind u that the setting is still ancient greece & not modern day usa or smth

i personally struggled w the first chapters as well tho! so even if those didn't do it for me at first, the complete story on top of the writing style was rly worth the reading experience. i would say it "picks up" once u get past the childhood of circe n the slow period after that but if u want to give it another go it's probably best not to expect some crazy plot to "pick up" soon bc like a lot of stuff happens but as said it's more focused on the characte(s) & themes behind the events of the story, not the events themselves.

all in all to me it was more abt the reading experience rather than a new entertaining plot. like ive always been interested in greek mythology as a child so i knew what to expect at some parts so the plot wasn't all that surprising anyway. this is one of the very few books that i manage to love despite the plot being more irrelevant than the characters.

circe's gradual growth throughout the book is so convincing n an amazing thing to see unfold that i would consider that my favorite thing abt the book. i don't use the words "strong female character" lightly but i think this book deserves it. the ending alone sealed the deal for me, i was on the fence abt giving it either 4 or 5 stars when it was approaching the end bc i wasn't interested in the last theme of the book (it's nothing bad, i just don't care abt it as much as others might) but the end made it all worth it. it's not even sad sad, i would consider it empowering even, but i was still full on sobbing just bc i thought it tied the story together so well n rly showed how strong circe has become. it's what she deserves 😌

tl dr: i loved the symbolism n all the literary analysis i could make of it for fun, the writing style from world building to just the sentence structures were stunning imo, my personal interest in greek mythology kinda made me push through the start of the book that wasn't as interesting as the whole experience would come to be. definitely would recommend trying to give it one more chance but if ur enjoyment of books is more abt an eventful & thrilling plot it's completely understandable if this one isn't for u! i 100% feel that

i hope this is at least a bit helpful!! idrk how to describe the book any better w/o going into spoilers but like i hope sharing some of the things i love abt literature in general helps u decide. like if u can relate then u might end up rly enjoying it as well once u get through the start but if u can't relate that much then it might just not be a book for ur reading taste which is completely valid as well

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Somewhere In Translation

@sneaky-ash: Im not sure if youre taking requests but im not fussed about when/if you write this; its just youre one of the best smut writers ive found in a while and lowkey a seungkwan enthusiast. Anyway ive been thinking about bumping into svt whilst theyre like, filming a surprise or smth in your local area. They ask you for directions and you end up hanging out with them and SK get flirtier the more time you spend with them. Eventually you guys end up getting together in his room all the while he’s tryna communicate in english as much as he can, and you try your best with extremely limited korean. Idk i feel like the language thing is something thats really ignored in fics and i kinda wanna see smth more realistic. Anyway!! Ive droned on a bit but if you find this ask kinda boring then dont mention it :(: but i wanted to get this out there since i thought youd be the best write for this. If you cant tell, i love your work! Im not extremely active but ill support you x 

Seungkwan x Female Reader

Word Count: 2553

Contents: fingering, oral (female receiving), some nipple play, unprotected sex

Note: I can’t seem to tag you. Also as expected this took a while but it’s here now. I’m back from my mini hiatus and I love u all.

You had to do a double, then a triple take to process what you were seeing. You really thought you might be going crazy. There was no way that actual members of an actual kpop group were in your town. It was a big enough city to warrant them visiting but you hadn’t heard about any concerts.

And what were the odds that they would stop by your favourite café?

You were almost thankful that Seventeen wasn’t your favourite group or you might be screaming right now. You liked their music and knew them well enough to know their names and faces and a little bit about each of them but you didn’t know every single detail about them and you had failed miserably when you tried their name chants. You looked between Seungkwan, Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Hansol thinking that they were much taller than you expected, until one of them caught your eye.

You would have felt silly that Seungkwan caught you staring at him, but they had people staring at them all the time. It couldn’t be that much of a surprise, could it? You smiled at him warmly and confidently despite feeling a little shaky. You swore he checked you out quickly before returning the smile. You took your drink and made your way to a table, catching him each time he threw glances at you. Hansol caught the two of you looking at each other and chuckled before saying something to Seungkwan that you were too far away to hear. He blushed and looked between you and Hansol before his drink was ready. He took it and Hansol nudged him and motioned to you.

You’d decided that you were going to go with this. Maybe it was all a crazy dream but either way you were going to enjoy it while it lasted. Seungkwan made his way across the café to you while throwing glances back at the others nervously. He stopped behind the chair across from you.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hello,” you hummed, grinning. “Did you want to sit down?”

“Ah, yes,” he blushed and took a seat. You waited as he thought through what he wanted to say. “You’re… very pretty.”

You couldn’t help he blush that spread across your face. You’d decided this had to be a dream. There was no way this could be real. On the slight chance it was though, and you weren’t about to wake up, you had to enjoy it.

“Thank you, you’re very handsome, but you probably already know that,” you said. You watched as he processed what you were saying and a shy smile spread across his face. “What are you all doing here anyway?” you asked, motioning to the other three who were sitting a little ways away, sipping their drinks, and chatting while shooting glances at the two of you.

“We have… um, schedule. We are…” he looked back at the others who all looks down at their drinks, chuckling. “lost.”

“I know the area really well if you need a hand,” you smiled.

He blushed and nodded, throwing his friends what almost looked like a dirty look before getting up. You followed him to their table where the other three greeted you warmly. Hansol told you where they were looking to go and you smiled, assuring them it was nearby and that you could take them there yourself to make sure they didn’t get lost.

You did your best to talk to all of them as you walked but it was easiest to hold a conversation with Hansol. Soonyoung and Seokmin walked behind you and chatted with each other while Seungkwan tried to keep up with you and Hansol. You did your best not to speak too quickly and you noticed Hansol giving him lots of chances to talk.

You led them to the nearby arcade they were heading to. It very much seemed to be the right place as there was a camera crew there and someone who might have been their manager who looked relieved to see them. You watched as they made their way into the arcade and turned to leave but someone grabbed your hand. You turned back to see Seungkwan smiling nervously.

“Will you, uh… wait until we are done?”

You smiled and nodded. He sighed happily before going to join the other members. You watched from the corner of the arcade as they filmed. They all seemed to turn on their energy and turn up their smile for the camera. Still them, but like turning up a dimmer switch, they were a brighter, more glamourous version of themselves. Whenever the camera was pointed elsewhere Seungkwan shot you a smile. It was the same smile he used on stage, it was dazzling and took your breath away and seemed like such a stark contrast to his shy grin from earlier.

You realized why he had asked you to stick around when they wrapped up filming sooner than you expected. You leaned against the wall and watched as the four of them approached you.

“You’re done so soon,” you said brightly.

They all nodded and Soonyoung pushed Seungkwan closer.

“We are going, uh,” he gave Hansol a panicked look. Hansol whispered something to him. “to the mall. Do you want… to, come?”

You grinned. “Yeah sure, do you know the way from here?”

“Ye-” he started but Soonyoung shoved him. “Uh, no.”

You offered your hand. “Let me show you then.” Seungkwan blushed as he took your hand and walked with you. The others chuckled and followed along behind.

“It was fun watching you film,” you said. “You’re so interesting, and I think the video will turn out well.”

You swore you saw a smirk cross his face and he followed along the crowded sidewalk of the market. “You seemed… happy?” he thought for a second. “…interested?” He spoke quickly to Hansol who laughed.

“He wants to say you seemed very charmed by him.”

You felt the blush creep up your cheeks and he chuckled and squeezed your hand. “Ah, you’re so cute.”

You wandered through the mall with them. Eventually Soonyoung and Seokmin wandered off to look at something, pulling Hansol with him to translate. You felt more nervous being alone with Seungkwan but as you were finding out he understood English well. Speaking was another matter but considering your Korean consisted of phrases that you had picked up from kpop you thought he was doing pretty well. You wandered through a few clothing stores where he insisted you try on a few things and almost made off to pay for them before you caught him and pulled out your own card. He did buy you a tea which you sipped on as you wandered back to the front of the mall. You had a feeling your day with him might be coming to an end.

He seemed nervous as he considered his words carefully. “Do you want to… hang out?”

You smiled, way too happy that this was happening. “Of course!”

He grinned at you as he ushered you towards a car. You got in with him and tried to take in the conversation between him and their driver that was ultimately lost on you. The driver took a sigh and drove and you noticed the way Seungkwan kept glancing at you. His hand found yours but after checking to see that the driver wasn’t watching he slid it over further to rest his hand on your thigh. He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on your thigh before you leaned over.

“What did you mean exactly by ‘hang out’?” you asked, not being able to help the way a grin tugged at your lips.

In response he kissed you, quickly but passionately, his hand squeezing your thigh.

He pulled away and chuckled at the slightly dazed look on your face. “Something like that.”

“Okay,” your said breathily, now very aware of his hand which had moved a little higher on your thigh.

He pretty quickly pulled you out of the car once you got to what you assumed was their hotel. He moved quickly through the lobby and to the elevator. You noticed the way he was biting his lip while he glanced at you and it made you wish there was no one else in the elevator. He pulled you out just as quickly and down the hall to his room. The second he had the door closed behind him his hands were on your waist and his lips found yours. He kissed you deeply and backed you into the wall as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. When he broke away from the kiss you were breathless and dazed.

“I have… wanted to do that all day,” he said.

“God I’m so glad you did,” you replied as your eyes focused on his plush lips before you pulled him back in for another kiss. You let your hands wander down his shoulders to his arms as he pressed closer to you and rocked his hips against yours. He let out a soft sigh into your kiss and said something quietly in Korean that you didn’t understand.

“Hmm?” you hummed against his lips.

He pulled back enough to look at you and blushed. “Don’t worry about it,” he blushed. You opened your mouth to protest but a small whine came out instead as his lips started to suck on your neck. His hands slid down your body and he grabbed your ass, pressing you closer. You could feel his bulge through his pants and it only served to turn you on more. He rolled his hips against yours moaning against your skin. He painted your neck in purple before kissing you deeply again as you started to pull him towards the bed.

You back against the bed and barely laid down before he crawled on top of you, ridding himself of his shirt before kissing you again. He pulled your shirt off between kisses and started to kiss down your body. He kissed the tops of your breasts and lifted you enough to get you out of your bra. He mumbled something against your skin before he sucked one of your nipples between his plush lips and you blushed as your ears registered the Korean word for beautiful. His hands slid down to waist and started to undo your belt. He helped you out of your jeans before settling between your legs. His hands trailed up your torso and he let his fingers trail over your nipples while he kissed further down your body. He peeked up at you as he went and took in the way you were arching into his touch.

He kissed along your inner thighs until you were squirming and giving him a pleading look.

“Seungkwan, please,” you whined.

He grinned up at you as he pulled your panties down slowly. He kissed slowly along your inner thighs until he was kissing right next to your core. You tried to roll your hips against him but he just chuckled and pulled away.

“Patience,” he hummed and you whined as he went back to teasing you, bringing a finger to tease your entrance. You let out a small whimper and tried to hold still, need him to move on from his teasing. You gave him the sweetest, most desperate look you could muster and he let out a whine before finally bringing his lips where you needed them. You let out a loud moan and bucked your hips his face and he held them down as he traced your clit with his tongue and pushed one finger into you.

He pumped his finger slowly, and soon added another as he moved his tongue too slow. You moaned for him to go faster and searched your memory to see if you knew the right word in Korean but one look at his smug grin and you realized he was doing it on purpose. You groaned and threw your head back, gripping the sheets as he slowly picked up the pace with his fingers. You cried out when he passed over a particularly good spot and he started to rub back and forth over it faster before sucking your clit between his lips.

You moaned out his name as you came on his fingers, bucking your hips against his hand and face. You whimpered as he pulled his fingers put slowly and moved to lap up your release until you were pulling away. He mumbled something against you and you hmm.

He looked up at you a blushed. “You, taste good,” he hummed, blushing slightly.

You smiled as you pulled him up towards you. You kissed him deeply and started to fumble with his belt. As soon as it was undone you helped him push down his pants and he kicked them off, still kissing you passionately.

He let out a loud moan as you took his cock into your hand and started to stroke him. He quickly stopped your hand and broke away from the kiss, scrambling for the words.

“I… if you… I might… um,” he was blushing deeply and grinned as you took in what he was saying.

“You might cum too fast?” you asked, pumping his cock again.

“Y-Yes,” he gasped up, trying to stop your hand again. “I want to…” he trailed off unsure of the words.

You kissed him sweetly before pulling him closer to you. “Me too.”

He started to grind his cock against you and you both let out moans at the feeling. You helped him to align himself with you before he slowly pushed in. He let his head fall into the crook of your neck and moaned as you gripped him tightly. He stayed still for a few moments as you both adjusted until you started to whine and move your hips. He pulled back and thrust into you slow and deep.

He worked up his pace slowly, leaving more kisses and love bites along your neck and collarbone. Your toes curled at the feeling as you moved your hips in time with him and started to moan out his name.

You could feel your second orgasm building and from the sound of his moans he was getting close too. “Fuck, Seungkwan, c-can you, your hand-”

You felt his grin against your skin as his fingers found your clit and started to rub it in quick, even circles.

You cried out as you came on his cock, holding him close through your orgasm. His thrusts grew sloppier and the way you were clenching around him had him cumming quickly after. You pulled him in to kiss you as he roll his hips into, riding out his own orgasm.

You were both panting as he rolled off of you and you started to come down from your highs.

“That was fantastic,” you breathed.

He smiled at you. “Yeah.” He tugged you  little closer and you cuddled up to him. You had no idea if this would lead somewhere or if this meant anything at all but you could at least enjoy the cuddles while they lasted.

You decided that if that was a dream, it was the best dream you’d ever had.

[1rosex]

Hyung Line reaction to breaking up with s/o and regretting it

Request: Heyo can I get a hyung line reaction to they get so angry or smth and they break up with you? But they didn't mean it and regret it? Thanks for the angst fam keep up the good work

{Maknae Line}

Masterlist

Jin

You were both in a heated argument that had stemmed from Jin's recent behavior. You figured it was stress. You didn't see Jin at all for weeks since he'd been touring, but of course you knew that he couldn't always be around so you weren't blaming him for it. But now you were fighting, you don't even know how it started. One minute you'd been telling Jin you missed him, the next angry he'd snapped at you, and now both of you at each others throats.

"Stop! Just stop!" You yelled out. "I didnt mean to make you angry! I know you cant always be around, I get it!" You were trying to kill the fight, trying to bring Jin back to his senses. But his anger piled on top of each other, letting all of frustration spill into this single argument.

"No! Its not just today, it's every day Y/N!" Jin turned to you, you could nearly see him radiating with anger. "Always complaining about how tired you are, how lonely you are, how much work you have, how sad you are, its always about you! Don't you think I struggle too? I've got a whole band to worry about!" His eyes were two burning coals in which you'd once seen love. You were too afraid to speak at this point, you'd never seen him so angry it was unlike anything he'd done before.

"Well I'm done, done with it, done with you! Get out." The coals were boring into you willing you snap under his gaze, his voice circling the room. You didn't move. "Jin.."

"I SAID GET OUT." The rage exploded back at you, like the flame had subsided only to bite back stronger than the last time. You were moving, running for the door with hot tears running down your face. Jin watched, watched you run from the room with his own tears appearing. All at once, the anger was gone. And so were you. He tried to process what he'd just said to you, his throat dry from the hurtful yells that had just escaped it seconds ago. He couldn't believe he'd actually said that to you. Jin shut down for a while after that, he spent the rest of the day in quiet silence knowing what he'd done was not something to be easily forgiven.

You had left him, staying up at night wondering what you'd done wrong. Was that it? Was he serious? Would he come looking for you? You couldn't tell, you didn't know, told yourself you didn't care. You let it be as you fell asleep.

Two days, two days later you woke up early morning to hear a knock at the door. No news from Jin, he had basically broken up with you so you didn't expect any. Tired, confused, you got to your feet and headed downstairs. You opened the door wondering who could possibly be there so early, only to see Jin standing on the other side.

"Y/N- wait don't close the door!" His hand extended, keeping you from slamming the door in his face. "Please hear me out."

You stood on the other side, your arms crossed. Jin felt like your eyes were prying at at his insides, reading all of his inner thoughts before he even said them. He swallowed, the angry Jin you'd seen days ago was no where to be seen.

"That was dumb. Me, I was dumb. What I said, I thought it was true when I said it. But its not. You dont make it all about yourself, you try to distract me. Try to make me feel better, and up until now I didnt realize you actually were making me feel better." It was quiet after Jin said, you thinking over his words and him waiting for you to say something. Nothing came. "Y/N?"

You opened the door a little wider, how could you ever get rid of him? You couldn't. "Come inside Jin, its cold outside."

"..Thank you. For not hating me."

Namjoon

It had all gone down so fast. One minute you were on the couch curled up on Namjoon's side, and the next you had pulled you like he'd just burnt you. Now you two were staring at each other, tension between your two bodies rising, the universe holding its breath waiting for one of you to make a move.

"What did you say?" You asked him.

"I said.. We should break up." Namjoon looked on edge, like he was saying something he wasn't so sure about.

"Why.." It came out as a breathy whisper, hard to talk when it feels like someone is crushing the air from your lungs.

"I don't have time. You deserve someone who can be there for you for all those special moments. Not someone who's always on tour." You could see the struggle in Namjoon's eyes telling you this. You nodded with understatement, and that was the last time you'd spent with him.

It'd been two weeks, two whole weeks that felt like they were the most difficult and lonely fourteen days you'd had in a long time. You were out at the store with a friend of yours, a guy you'd known for a long time who had come to comfort you. Namjoon saw you shopping with him, and the regret of leaving you built up too much to handle. Before you knew it, you'd been pulled off to the side by someone, and you were about to attack the intruder until you realized who it was.

"Namjoon?" You asked, surprised.

"Y/N." Namjoon fumbled for his words. "I'm sorry.. I don't know why I uh.. Who's that friend?"

You were suddenly angry at him, how could he just show up in your life like that again. How could he be talking to you like he hadn't left you feeling miserable. "Its no one. And last time I checked, neither are you." You made an effort to walk past him, but his hands were suddenly pulling you back. This time they were more desperate, needy and his eyes were brimmed with pain manifesting itself into tears.

"Y/N please. I know what I said and I've laid awake these past few weeks cursing myself for being a fucking idiot because I love you and I can't believe I thought letting you go was ever a good idea because I've been nothing but sad since then." Namjoon's words were a blur, and you didn't know when it happened, but you'd started crying too. "Please don't hate me." He lowered his head, you could see his hair looked ruffled and unwashed like he hadn't been caring for himself much. You wondered if he still used the same coconut shampoo, remembering how it smelled those mornings you woke up besides him.

"You really fucked up." You said.

"I know." He answered.

You were quiet, as much as you wanted to walk away from him you knew you couldn't. He meant the whole universe to you and you'd be damned if you lost your favorite planet. "I forgive you Namjoon."

"You.. You forgive me? Are you serious?"

"What do you want me to take it back?"

"NO! No! ... Thank you Y/N."

Yoongi

Why was Yoongi so angry? You didn't understand. You had noticed that he had been drawing back a lot lately, disappearing into his studio without saying much to you. At first you figured it was stress, but you seen realized it wasn't. It was different, he was emotionally distant. When you'd gone to confront him, Yoongi had started to snap at you.

"Stop!" You yelled. "Please, stop pushing me away. Why do you do that? Why can't you let me help?" You were urging him, hoping he could just lower his defenses and talk to you. But your words had lit another match at the back of his mind, and now he was firing more hurtful words back at you. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" He spat right back at you.

"Because I care about you! But it seems like you don't care about me. If you did you wouldn't do this. You.. You make me want to leave you!" Your voice swelled with pain, but Yoongi didn't even flinch.

"Go ahead then, what's stopping you? Go! I dont want you anymore, I don't want us anymore, I am so sick of you acting like you know everything, like you own me! So just get out already!" Hot tears were running down your face, had he just broken up with you?

"Are you crying? Seriously? Cut it out!" Yoongi didn't realize he wasn't yelling at you, he was yelling at himself. How could be be yelling at you for crying? He wanted to tell himself to shut up, to stop talking and apologize, but he had crossed the line of no return a long time ago.

"Do you think I want to cry?!" You suddenly yelled, knocking over a book when you flung your hands up defensively. Your anger competed with Yoongi's, who was not used to being the one being yelled at. He went quiet, he knew that he had really messed up, but the word 'sorry' had completely left his mind in the heat of the moment.

"I don't.. I don't want to see you. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Just let me be this time, Min Yoongi." And just like that, you were grabbing your coat and leaving. Yoongi could only watch you, wanting to follow but his feet were nailed to the floor. When he heard the door slam and the last trace of you was gone, Yoongi cried and fell back into his chair. Regret gnawed away at him, like a beast that had taken residence in his stomach the moment he'd decided to yell at you.

Yoongi didn't come to you that day. Or the day after that. But the day after that..You were curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the television when the doorbell rung. You brought the controller up to the screen and paused the movie, then got up to answer the door. Yoongi was on the other side.

"I brought you some dumb flowers. I know you like the purple ones, the ones with the white insides. But they were out." Yoongi's eyes were anywhere but your own, knowing he couldn't even look you in the face after what had happened.

"So I got you more flowers than usual, even though I know they can't possibly make up for my stupid words. Nothing really can." Yoongi was standing so truthfully in front of you, you know you should be angry. You should be telling him to leave, asking him if that was the best he had. Telling him to get out just as he'd told you. But you couldn't, not when you saw the tears that were building up behind his hard stare.

"I'm sorry Y/N. Im such an idiot. Please just tell me you dont hate me, tell me that's it's okay." 

J-Hope

You'd come to the building with a gym bag containing some extra clothes, Hoseok had called you over when he forgot it at home. You stopped in front of the practice room door and raised your hand to the doorknob. You froze when you heard your name from the other wide of the door, a small smile appearing on your face when you recognized that the voice belonged to Hoseok. You didn't mean to eavesdrop, you just wanted to hear what he'd said. You wished you hadn't.

"It's annoying. I wish Y/N could back off, I know she means well but sometimes I just want to shove her out of the room and tell her to let me be."

"Well, that's a little harsh hyung." Jungkook's voice, by the sound of it.

"I know, which is why I don't. But its hard, she's just a burden at times like this when I'm so stressed. It's like dating her adds too much unnecessary pressure."

The door made a loud clicking noise as you opened it, and the look on your face told the boys that you'd heard every word they'd said.

"Glad to know you feel that way. You know what might help? Having no girlfriend at all." You dropped the bag onto the floor, gave him a cold stare and left the practice room. You drowned out the sound of his voice, calling your name but this time calling for it to stay. Instead, you ran.

He stopped trying to call you after the third day of no response. No texts from you, no calls from you, Hoseok had began to think you'd disappeared off the face of the earth. You woke up one night to the sound of rasping on the window, crawling out of bed with a flashlight you were ready to swing as a weapon if needed be. You grabbed onto the ridge of your bedroom window, took a deep breath, and threw it open while readying yourself to swing. There was a scream from the intruder, and you almost screamed too until you recognized the voice.

"Hobi?! What the hell?" You sighed, releasing the fear that had just shook your body as you lowered the flashlight. Hoseok used to crawl on the roof when you were together, he used to say it was a romantic cliche thing to do. Till he stopped doing it the day he nearly fell off. Now he was back up on the roof in the middle of the night, giving you a sheepish smile. And a heart attack.

"I know you don't want to see me."

"You're right."

"But you have to hear me out. Please."

"No I don't." You tried to close the window but Hoseok yelped and stopped it.

"Y/N please! I'm sorry!" You paused, listening as he went on. "What I said, I was being dumb. You don't annoy me! You encourage me to be better, you push me forward, you help me relax and be happy, you stop me from doing dumb things!"

You couldn't help but smile, just a little. "I obviously couldn't stop you from getting up onto the roof huh." You didn't know why, but you weren't angry as you thought you'd be. I mean sure, a part of you wanted to shove him off the roof, but you couldn't be angry when you'd loved Hoseok so much. When you loved Hoseok still. And now he was smiling at your joke again, a smile that seemed to return the sun itself back into your solar system.

" I haven't stopped beating myself up about since the day it happened. Please forgive me for any pain I caused Y/N.."

[bottomxkeith]

Klance on a simple jungle mission or smth where the environment is similar to earth so they just wear their regular clothes. Throughout the mission they are flirting with each other like they always do when suddenly some plant vines grab them by the arms and legs and start to take off keiths clothes, but slowly, like a striptease. The vines leave lance alone for the most part but unbutton his jeans and take his cock out of his boxers. (1/3)

Klance on a simple jungle mission or smth where the environment is similar to earth so they just wear their regular clothes. Throughout the mission they are flirting with each other like they always do when suddenly some plant vines grab them by the arms and legs and start to take off keiths clothes, but slowly, like a striptease. The vines leave lance alone for the most part but unbutton his jeans and take his cock out of his boxers. (1/3)

Keiths struggling really hard and the vines have already taken off his pants and jacket plus one shoe, so hes still in his underpants and shirt. Then the vines get impatient and rip off everything else. They move around so that keiths hands are pinned above his head and his legs are spread far apart, meaning he can't hide anything. Lance meanwhile is watching this and getting hard and he feels gross about it bc like the whole scenario is gross and not good but keith looks really hot (2/3)

All spread out and flushed. His dick is a lot smaller than lance expected but its adorable and he wants it in his mouth so badly. Keith is getting hard watching lance get hard and his hips are twitching bc seeing the proof you are wanted by someone feels really good. He's dripping precum and teary eyed from shame when the vines decide to start trying to penetrate his asshole and hes thrashing around again bc it feels good but he doesnt want it, not really (3/4)

His eyes are squeezed shut as he listens to lance telling him to calm down and try to think about an escape plan but he cant. Hes always been an action person and the vines are pinning him down he cant do anything and they are making their way deeper into his body. Keiths stuck between two states like it feels amazing to be touched like this in front of someone hes interested in as more than a friend but also hes panicking and its so /humiliating/ (4/5)

He's taking the vines so easily, can lance tell he plays with his own ass all the time? Keith doesnt want lance to know. Their entire relationship is based on competition and pride. What if he never talks to him again because he's so disgustingly needy? Keiths pretending not to enjoy it but its so difficult when he can hear lances voice trying talk him into being calm and when he opens his eyes, how hard his dick is. Its so big and keiths thinking about how it would feel inside of him when (5/6)

the vines hit his prostate and from that point on he's devolved into a drippy and whining mess as the vines stretch him and massage his insides. Then the vines bring keith and lance closer together and manipulates them so keith is bending over midair and lance's cock is at his asshole. They both know what's going to happen and lance is apologizing through moans as the vines guide him into keiths body (6/7? i forgot lmao)

and the vines are controlling their pacing and each time lance slides in all the way keith feels so full, hes so sensitive and raw and tight around lance's cock. They are getting closer and closer to coming and the vines arent letting go so theres nowhere for lance to come but inside and he's saying sorry, sorry over and over again. Keith isn't sorry for this though, he wants lance to come inside despite the guilt so he tightens up and pushes back as best as he can (7/8)

and takes it. Lance's cum is deep inside his body and Lance is in his afterglow state when the vines let him go but keep keith held up and bent over still because he hasn't come yet. Lance is like "is this okay" as he puts his face near keith's dick and mouths along his balls and keith looks away and nods. So lance takes his cock into his mouth and tastes it all while the vines continue fucking keith and keith finally comes (8/9?)

and they drop him onto the floor, where he curls up into the fetal position. His shirt is ruined, he's leaking come out of his ass, and he can't ever look lance in the eye ever again. But lance picks him up and redresses him as best as he can, gives him his jacket, and tells him its ok. So they walk back to the castle for a checkup to make sure nothings wrong. It turns out the plants are the equivalent of children playing with dolls and they sensed the UST between them and were doing a (9/10)

kind of make believe roleplay thing. Anyway lots of aftercare and reassurance later, keith and lance become an official couple. The End (10/10)This is....literally all I’ve ever wanted. Thank you. Just.....thank you

[mariearmany]

Let me just start it.. Wednesday on my way home, sitting in a metro back to the other side of the city 10 miles away from home, decided to keep my phone shut, observe people clos enough and figure out what I would get of it, kept thinking about their stories.. what are they wondering about and so indulged in so much? Many ones with headphones.. what could be their favorite song? Ive seen a little boy by the station sitting on the floor with just a box by his side with a simple handbook full of drawings and pencil portraits making a living out of it so fragile I saw his eyes looking for help, with everyone passing by till someone stops and takes a look or give him smth in such cold weather with only a jacket that i am sure it makes him colder than warmer.. Ive seen a girl, prideful, selling some bracelets and accessories, she entered the car not spitting out a word, just holding her box and preparing her stuff till a woman asks her what is she doing? She seemed frustrated enough that her replies was like a broken arrow that never hits the point but hurts whenever you pick it up or try to fix it Yet; she answered her that she is selling her work for a living, the old lady told her she didnt get that at first because the girl didnt speak up, she replied " you couldve asked me and then I would speak.." Ive seen a man going to jail just to feed his 3 children so he steals.. Ive seen a producer, a director, weirdly a bunch of models Went from east to west *literal meaning* and not one experience worked fine till the end. Ive tried to throw myself better at new risks, try out new sides and I realized they don't fit.. i have learnt to keep my first impressions silent, my fear and anxiety silent too because it is okay to try new things.. yet I had to find oit quick enough it is not suitable. It is not me.. Ive through arguments, clashes, visited and spotted multiple side of me that I didn't know I could give power to, still learning how.. Ive had enough stress from my friendships that it is pushing me to stay silent and far away, should I take few steps back? Maybe.. I can't handle any damage or fallen expectation from them any soon again And i said it, all of the scenarios I think of are becoming true till this very same moment.. and not a single scenario came wrong till now which is scary.. I hop the rest of the scenarios are wrong, please :") I have been daydreeeammminggg like a kid in front of every street commercial billboards and GOD! I cant wait to see one of my design shown up there :") ! I literally and metaphorically dream about it and today i stood in front of one in the street i was way too small compared to how big the billboard is so is my dream... Ive cried my eyes out, ive tried to talk to myself, I cant see me but a loser.. Ive finally spoken to my best friend about the forrver hang on issues that she was part of and I tried as much as I can to handle it lightly, I did yet it still feels like a burden on my chest I told her how I knew that the last 3 years will turn against me in college, i told her how through the whole vacation I was telling myself that You will try her shoe She told me it didn't.. she told me "it is only your perspective and your mentality that did but your life didn't, she tried proving me i am not that of a failure, loser, second choice based, toxic, yes a hardworker, yes good enough.." But it is like i am trapped behind a mirror that I cant break through lately, i see everything but you can't see the other side I know she is right. Yesterday i finally felt alive again for a few moments! Yesterday Marie was present, the one I miss her adrenaline rushes, her impulsive moves and daring simple actions On my way back home on the opera's bridge, I saw from afar how beautiful the spotlights of the CIFF were shining in the night sky behind the square's statue I were jumping out of the car to catch just one or two frames! The view was too cinematic to be missed out!!!! I couldn't stand going home without catching this I knew this scene is not going to repeat, such mood, such enthusiasm, such spotlights and red lights, drapes and the statue was such a silhouette in the middle of the place, like history standing still observing modern days with revolutionary spirit I came out if the car in the middle of the street and even walked to the middle of the bridge, i stood right there watching everything just happening there! I had to capture the view, i stood there and photographed the moment. I seized it! I felt more alive than those last 3 months :") This moment gave me back a part of me.. a part i missed about marie so much! :") That spontaneous, impulsive, daring loving one! That side who loves to admire everything who sees the beauty around her and looks for the beauty in the details of the tiniest spots The sunrays lightin the place, the trees ..on the people's faces.. How people have little details that make the heart melt.. That side that makes me wonder about life about how a scared thing it is huge and sacred.. that you would fall in love with it.. Monday, Tuesday and wednesday were the downfall, when it all felt like my walls were collapsing.. rage, anger. All came to crumble like a solider in the middle of war and he suddenly realized that all his battles were nothing meaningful.. that all of his battles are lost with no importance for anything.. he thought he is fighting with his pride and strength then you realize you are fighting ashes.. it took you no where.. his sword besides him and full of dissapointment, fear that he accimplishrd nothing! And when u feel u accimplished nothing it shifts ane turn on you! It turns into rage.. you might end up hurting those around you and turn into someone flaw-full..and God i hope i am not this... I dont know where i am exactly I dont know if i am okay or not.. i dont know where am going.. but i think i am just letting things be I am going on my way and letting whatever happens happens I am trying to be balanced and stable i am trying to keep myself looking forward I am trying to be better to keep goin in the right path as much as i can To be righteous and to refine myself again and again To focus on my goals, attitude, wishes and behaviour I want to grow better and more mature more understanding.. to feel better I want to understand people better to know them better to be more sentimental to be more to contain people'a attitude...Feelings.. behaviours better and deeper Ive learnt that many times your emotions will contradict with 2hat you wish for or what you want or what you think of or even with who you are Your sentimentals will change your attitude violently or your spirit will be annoyed somehow Your emotions would be like a stubborn child hard to tame but you will have to learn how to tame her. Ive learnt that everything from time to time everything will contradict What you want will even contradict with people's lives.. what they want.. their actions or their flaws I am trying to take control and take hold of myself. Take a good grip on me in the right way as much as i can as much as i see right maybe.. i try to even see cleared and better Through everything In my friendships and bonds too.. With my self, my values, my standards, my dreams my decisions.. everything.. I cant deny i feel exhausted.. messed up.. strong and weak at once.. but i dont know what to do or what no to do exactly but i am going on my way...