#purple-gaws

[sinnershavesoulstoo]

A series in which my bff has gifted me poorly drawn animals for which I am eternally grateful ✨️

[littlefreya]

Before the Storm

Summary: Gus finds way to keep you warm as you both sail on his boat during April.

Pairing: Major Gustav (Gus) Phillips x Reader (no description)

Word count: 2K

Warnings: 18+, romance, fluff and smut, oral sex (woman receiving), a bit of fingering, teasing, a sweater, a pinch of angst.

A/N: Gus is a character we know nothing about only that he is an unhinged gentleman (?) so I just went with what I felt and oh I hope others will enjoy :). Many thanks to the lovely @captainsy-cookiemonster and @agniavateira for beta and emotional support.

Please reblog with comments if you enjoyed 🖤

Before the Storm

Gus. Gustav. Gustavus. 

Such a timid name for a man who was wilder than the seas he sailed. When you first met Gus, you thought that he was the ocean itself; Untamable, unpredictable, a maelstrom of a man. Little did you know, you were wrong about him; if Gus was anything, it must have been the god of the sea. 

The only thing he was missing was a golden trident. 

Resting on the deck of his yacht with a small plate of local sweets and a book by your side, you watched him through a veiled gaze. The tall man stood at the bow, preparing the boat for the evening sail. You knew very little about nautical travel, but you always enjoyed watching him work on his boat.

Liberats - he called her - the only place he thought of as home. 

His large chocolate curls swayed gently in the afternoon breeze, thin threads of sliver-grey rimming each ringlet, though as the April sun began to set, those fine curls were kissed by vivid hues of purple, orange and pink.  

A deep frown line creased his forehead as he held onto the mast. You entertained yourself at the notion that he had the same exact look when he was hovering and grunting above you. Lightly snorting at the thought, you reached for the plate and grabbed a sweet while continuing to stare. 

“Like what you see?” Gus asked without looking away from the mast. His thick English accent rang through your ears in a melodious tone. He had a way of making everything sound either like poetry or sex.

You ogled him gingerly. In complete contrast to you, who lay in undergarments, Gus donned a chunky grey sweater and dark work trousers. You hated that. It hid what you knew was underneath it. The body of a god. 

“Hmm…” you stretched,  “I haven’t seen enough to decide.”

A slanted smirk tugged his cheek, and he threw a side gaze at you, but his smile fell as he noticed the little shiver in your arms. You weren’t exactly dressed for the season, in fact, you weren’t even dressed for a cruise, but for the time being, simple pair panties and bra sufficed. 

Until they didn’t. 

Not saying another word, he let go of the mast and sauntered toward you, mumbling, “oh, darling,” while already slipping the heavy sweater off. Abs and pecs that might as well have been crafted by a master sculptor glistened in the waning sun. Tanned and sweaty, his skin was like honey. Busy appreciating the view, you didn’t notice the lumpy grey thing that headed toward you at the speed of light until it smacked you in the face.

“Gaws!” Your words were muffled by the sweater that covered your entire head. 

Annoyed, you tugged it away, one brow arched with ire, but your expression softened as Gus’ scent poured upon you; seafoam, salt - fresh and untamed - you inhaled it, inhaled him. 

Unable to resist the urge to be enveloped by his presence, you pulled the sweater on and sighed at the comfort it brought, your fingers clutched onto the collar to hold it closer to your nose and with a deep breath, you took him in. For a moment, you felt yourself slipping into delirium, but then the warm shadow that loomed over your face dragged you back to reality. 

Gus stood over, the breadth of him blocking the sun. Head tilted down, arms crossed together, he observed the treat before him, a crafty grin playing on his lips. 

“Looks better on you than on me.” Hand reached up to his moustache, he twirled its edge between his index and his thumb. “I sure like what I see.” 

You smiled sweetly, your bare legs stretching forward in an invitation. “Too bad this sweater doesn’t cover all of me…” 

His marine-blue gaze followed instantly, a flicker of excitement igniting within them. “Cara Mia, need me to keep you warm?” 

Gus was the type of man who never needed a special invitation. Nor did he ever waited for an answer. Simply, because he always got what we wanted. Gently, he sank to his knees before your feet, and reached for your ankles. His hands were roughed by manning the ropes of the boat and things you didn’t wish to think of, yet his touch was as tender as the caress of a wave as he ran his hands up and down the length of your legs.

“Smooth,” he murmured, “it always stuns me how soft women are.”

Half chuckling, half moaning, you laid back onto the deck, casually reaching for the bowl of sweets and grabbing a piece. Gus’ glare darted at you, watching you nibble while the coarse pads of his fingers glided below your knees, his touch sent a stream of shivers that coursed through your skin, making you tremble in his grip. 

It took every drop of strength to remain composed and not give yourself entirely, you were always afraid of him having too much power over you, and Gus knew that and knew just how to bend you - figuratively and literally. 

His palms smoothed higher with each stroke, kneading your thighs, fingertips reaching close to your heat yet not close enough. Every wave of his touch only left you more frustrated. Wetness pooled at your core, the unmistakable bloom within calling for him in yearning, like a flower opening, awaiting to be seeded, yet he took his time. 

“Still cold?” Gus provoked at how wildly you quivered. 

Lips pressed into a thin line, you swallowed a moan and shook your head, clutching onto the sweater as if it served any protection, but all hell broke loose as, without any warning, he pressed his thumb against the wet fabric of your underwear.

“Fuck!”

“Such a dirty mouth.” 

Giving into a shuddering yip, you pushed your pelvis forward, trying to grind into his thumb, only that he pulled back. 

“Gus! Stop this!!!”

“Stop?” His eyes flared comically. “I thought you were enjoying this…”

Ready to throw the book at his stupid face, you frowned, which caused Gus to chuckle before he hooked a finger below the strap of your underwear. “Now…” his voice dropped, and his eyes darkened as if touched by a storm cloud.  “Are you going to say it?”

Already at wit's end, you pouted and let out a breathy, “please...”

He tugged on the strap a little, sliding the garment to the mid of your hips, yet not enough to expose you. “Please, what? Cara Mia?”  

“Please, fuck me.” 

Triumph burnt on his face. Overjoyed that once again he managed to break you, he paused, eyes gliding at every inch of your body while his fangs grazed over his bottom lip. The way he stared at you, you could have sworn that you could feel his touch wherever his gaze landed; your mouth, your breasts, your nipples, the base your belly - he was everywhere, but you needed more. You needed him inside you.  

“No.” 

“No?!” Your cry could be heard across the 7 seas. “What do you mean ‘no’!?” 

“You had your candy, I think I’ll have mine.”

Without any other delay, he yanked on your underwear and threw them over his shoulders. Exposed to the open air, you breathed a shuddering gasp. The chill ocean-breeze blew upon your slit, further storming the tidal-like spasms that swept over you. Still, it was nothing in comparison to the storm that Gus was about to bestow upon you. 

The bearded Adonis looked ethereal as he crawled between your thighs, his curls and brazen bristle tickled your skin. His broad, muscular shoulders flexed in a predatory motion, and his face wore a dark, preying shade to match. Brows knit together, jaw clenched, his fingers dug into your ass, and with a guttural groan, he lowered his head to the valley of your thighs and granted you the sinful kiss of Poseidon. 

Slow, yet not lazy, his mouth drew a languid course between the little pearl above your cove to your inner thighs as if testing the water before plunging in. The touch of his hot lips and coarse bristle was enough to elicit the most desperate yelps from you, and like a siren washed up on the shore, you writhed for your god, begging for salvation.

It wasn’t as if Gus didn’t know every inch of your body, yet still, he revelled at the different cries that escaped you as his mouth marked different parts of your flesh, almost as if it was a game to him, as if you were a toy he examined and coaxed to his whims until you were completely broken and at his mercy. It was only then when you were bent and vulnerable, that’s he would tear you completely apart.

With his breath hot on your flesh, he hummed against your clit. Legs quaking, you prepared yourself for yet another tender kiss, only that instead, you felt the wet glide of his tongue teasing your flesh. Once, then twice, his velvety serpent stroked and twirled. The third time he wrapped his lips around the tender nub and suckled with every ounce of love he felt toward you. 

Inarticulate sounds followed from your throat, your toes curled as the spasming jolts of ecstasy flowed all across your body. He brought you near impulsion, but he wasn’t done playing with you just yet. Grunting, he slipped the edge of his tongue between your swollen petals, pressing just enough to provoke you, yet not enough to bring you undone. 

You wanted to scream his name but found that you had no words. Instead, you heaved and cried breathlessly, your head pressing to the wooden deck beneath you, eyes wide open, staring at the seagulls floating in the air. In the open ocean, everyone could see you. Everyone and no one. You were one with the gods and the sea creatures and you sure as hell writhed as if you were drowning on dry land. 

Appeased by your helplessness, Gus locked his strong arms around your thighs, holding you spread open and in place as he finally dove his tongue inside you. 

“Fuck!” Your back arched against the surface. Tears of joy brimmed in your eyes as Gus fucked you ardently with his tongue. Over and over, he plunged into your cove, groaning and savouring the dew that dripped from it as if it was a feast. 

As greedy as they come, he wanted to devour you; there wasn’t a single patch of skin he hadn’t laved, kissed or suckled. Even while his tongue wreaked havoc on your clenching cunt, his mouth continued to suckle upon your swollen lips with little hums of delight that vibrated through you. 

It wasn’t fair. He brought you on the verge of pleasure on despair. You felt the storm within you rage; violent waves of pleasure gushed and surged, begging to be unleashed. Knowing your body so well, Gus wrapped one sturdy arm around your belly, held your mound to his hungry mouth, and finally, took his fingers and buried them deep inside you to force you into ecstasy. 

Climax shattered through you in several electric currents that continued to hit. Each one stronger than the other  Still convulsing in ecstasy, you lifted your eyes to Gus.  The last rays of sunlight glazed around him in a golden aura. For a moment there, you imagined him as the lord of the ocean, who, in his fury, pierced his trident at the ocean’s bed and split it apart. 

Split you apart.

Spent, you fell back to the deck with a deep sigh, your eyes gazing aimlessly at the evening sky while you snuggled Gus’ sweater around you. The moon had already risen, surrounded by a shy group of gleaming stars resembling precious pearls embroidered on a blue dress. Memories of childhood sprang to mind; summer days in the sun, when you floated carless over the waves. 

“Are you alright?” Gus moved to lie beside you. His knuckles brushed your cheek in a tender caress.

You nodded weakly, your breath still hitched from the intensity of the pleasure he wrought from you. 

“Speak, Cara Mia,” Gus asked gently and, with a small pinch around your chin, brought you to stare at him. "I need to hear you say it."

Quiet, you stared back, your lower lip parted, but no words came as you studied his face. The little wrinkles around his eyes and the silver tainted his beard made him look somehow pure. So pure, it broke your heart to think that once you dock again, you will have to take off the masks and costumes you wore and be who you really were - soldiers fighting to liberate the world and Gus, as spirited and wild as he was, would never be free, never be able to fully commit to anyone other than his cause.

Still, you loved him.

Enough to follow him into hell. 

[the-redacted-of-all-time]

henlo it me, the ULTIMATE merc fan /hj

I totally agree with the being tired of the whole royalty look, however I will say I'm so happy they did a different color scheme that wasn't mainly red and gold

i did absolutely fall in love with the art they dropped first, the overall look was so beautiful; reminded me of a runaway prince/knight kinda vibe:3

I will be buying him (unfortunately/j) bc his COC skin didn't fweaking COME HOME 😔😔😔

I do get the being tired of the overall theme too btw:> it's a very overused concept but im a sucker for anything they drop that includes naib,,among other men fjskfjsf

still tho, the in-game model that was revealed makes him look potato like again LMAOOO

my boy rlly got the chubbiest cheeks ever. I also rlly love his elbow pads design, even in the model, they look so gorgeous im gonna eat em

I do wish they'd of done a newer set of colors tho in this theme, like maybe purple??? and also colored his hair a bit darker. and some MELANIN. GIVE HIM SOME AIR CIRCULATION GAW DAMN

I don't have much complaint ngl, aside how,,wonky(lovingly said) he looks in the model lolololol

this was mostly me yapping about my love of naib so sorry pookie😔

you’re so right on the “tired of the concept, but GYATDAMN its that ONE character, i need it rn’” struggle bro. tbh i lowk skipped MiR because of said recurring themes, even if the design is pretty. but even if i had the means to at the time, i probably still wouldnt have gotten it

but the fact the bar is placed at ‘im happy the colour schemes changed’ is honestly so hilarious but sad at tthe same time,,, like thats like the best netease can come up w/

do not worry fellow merc enjoyer, i like reading about yapping and discussing about the silly war vet. your takes on the skin is also really valid. youre always allowed to in my asks; keep yapping bro 🦐❤️

[froggiepads119]

So I couldn't exactly sleep last night so I decided to edit this story I wrote based off o dream I had a few years ago.

Here's your taste of the stuff I REALLY like to write

Enjoy~

} slight depictions of blood and wounds.

It was quiet that mist morning. The bees had stopped buzzing and the wind; soft on silent wings, had stopped whispering through the sky scraping, withering trees, making the golden brown grass stop their dance. Not even ebony crows screech as the man approaches the run down vehicle, its once grime tint hidden away beneath the layers of “time goes by'' and rust. The man doesn't seem like a threat, he just seemed lost - in the past’s darkest hours and broken from all scenarios. The wind, which seemed to pick up from nowhere, hissed a warning as he creeped- slow, maybe rethinking on what he was planning to do. His lean form hovered over the wreckage, scowling at the undamaged shield of glass that seemed to stare back, mocking him. 

The crashing of glass, or a shattering soul, filled the air, gray fog beginning to rome across the barren field. The man’s face was pale, tired windows glassy, staring into nothingness. Thick, crimson liquid spilled over, following the curves of his body, pooling into the leather of the musty seats of the car.. Deep, meaty gashes decorated his skin, shards glittering inside the exit wounds. 

Gray green eyes shot open tearfully. Gasping, The man from the vision bolted up from the lone picnic table, heaving the smooth, purple stone that had been laying on his heart into the green grass, only seeing it glimmer in the sun before it was lost. His heart still pounding, he turned to his girlfriend. Her raven hair shone, waving gracefully in the wind, dark circles hollowing out her eyes. 

 “I told you you wouldn't like it.”

 She whispers in a guilty tone. She knew what would happen, but she let it slip anyway. The couple sighed, almost in unison before he stood on walling legs, taking her hand in his as a quiet sign that none of this was her fault. She was gifted, and for a reason. Time went by and soon, the two had forgotten about the incident in the grassland and life went on as usual. The golden orb was warm, its loving arms stretched, embracing the lovers as they laughed. It was normal at first; just a pair of kids running around, chasing each other through golden waves, until he saw it: It was lost in time, a perfect piece of history, hidden away from long lost failures. The interior shredded, leaving nothing but unanswered questions to what happened to the owners. They crept closer to the phantom vehicle, the girl more hesitant than he. It only resembled the car from the vision but that didn't stop a strange wave of paranoia sweeping over the man, familiarity washing over the once happy atmosphere. An echoing fracture slit the man out of his thoughts, slowly turning his head to look behind him. His heart practically stopped beating as his eyes locked on the scene. The young woman, who was standing there just moments before, had been completely engulfed in the shards of the windshield. Her once glossy lips and space blue eyes had paled, her body starting to go rigid. He ran to her, shooting her name as he scooped her closed to his chest. A garbled sound rose from her throat, blood dripping down her chin. She was alive but she didn't have long. He quickly , yet carefully, put her into the passenger seat of the rundown vehicle, cleaning the gashes the best he could before trying to keep her flesh on her bones with the rip of his sleeve. The keys still sat in the ignition. 

Turn. 

Nothing. 

Turn after turn, all he was only met with resistance. He didn't even know why he was trying - she was losing her fight and there was no way in hell the vehicle would ever turn over. The red stained the makeshift gaws, turned his stomach to slime as tears began pricking his eyes with a grunt of frustration, he turned, hard.A loud grumble shook the car before it revived, muffling his relieved sigh and her pained sobs. He floored the pedal, the worn tires screeching like a dying animal. He was glued to the road, intent on getting to the hospital, his mind racing with black sludge, swallowing any hint of positivity. 

“babe…” 

It was barely a whisper. He looked away from the wheel, concentrating only on her. 

“If.. If this is how I go.. How will you?” 

His heart dropped, one hand drifting to squeeze hers as he attempted to answer positively, only for her. He always attempted to find hope, only because of her. 

Too bad he never saw the truck.                               

[imsogayhelpme]

Name : Gobs :D [pronounced as : gaw-bs]

Pronouns : He/she/they, preferred they/them ^^

Star sign : Aquarius!

Siblings : I have one sister :]

Pets : I don't have any crying

Fandoms : Nevermore (webcomic), Not So Shoujo Love Story (Webcomic)

Favourite colour : Any shade of purple :D

Favourite songs : Honestly almost all songs of mitski, will wood, girl in red, queen and bo Burnham

Favourite authors : Neil Gaiman

Hobbies : Drawing, annoying my sister

Favourite fic type : Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort

Favourite Holiday : Holi!! It's fun to throw colours at my sister >:D

Any partners : Nah

Fun Facts!!! : I body slammed someone in second grade and got away with it, I'm 160 cm :'D, I am VERY sweet toothed, I want to learn how to play drums, I love cats, My first crush was my irl bsf (we're not friends anymore tho, she turned into a pick me girl), I have my nose pierced

Tagging /nf : @ling-doodles-draws @tomato-turn @cinnamon-phrog @dinocam13 @bubblingacid @dinosaursatemydad + open tags

I got bored so here's a little get-to-know-you tag game I think could be fun :3

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

────────

Name(s): Loki (highly preferred), Elye

Pronouns : they/them mostly, he/she okay too

Star sign: Pisces

# of siblings: I've got 2! An older sister and a younger sibling. The fun fact about them is that they're also both queer; in fact, my mom is too. The only non-queer person in my immediate family is my dad.

# of pets: 4 cats! Phoebe & Frankie are our girls, Lenny and Murray are our boys :3

Fandoms: MCU (kind of), BSD, OFMD, Ranboo (does his fanbase count as a fandom?)

Fav. color: Don't have one

Fav. song: Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon

Fav. author: Alice Oseman

Hobbies: singing, acting, drawing, writing, procrastinating

Fav. fic type: Fluff, definitely. I am a sucker for well written coffee-shop and flower-shop aus, too. Smut's fine, but only if it's romantic. I can't do angst if there's no comfort.

Fav. Holiday: Hanukkah or Halloween! I love autumn and winter

Partners?: Yes! I have a girlfriend (queerplatonic) who I love very much, and a boyfriend (romantic) who I love very much :]

Fun facts:

- Even though I'm a cat person, I really, really want a dog.

- I actually used to play sports. Because I don't do gendered leagues anymore, I don't play, but I've been looking for mixed/gender-neutral/queer sports teams. Baseball and basketball specifically!

- I started questioning my identity in 2019; I'm no closer to finding a label now than I was then. The difference is, now I don't want a label. I just am. :]

tags: @neonganymede @cha0ticlesbian @x-chiara @exceleo @brinnybee @autistic-katara @gandalfthemorallygrey @ohboyanotherlokiblog @roachandrenfri @ourflagmeanslokius @exceleo @edettethegreat @swiftlyspidey

[sincerlypadfoot]

Switched Realities (Chapter One)

~After Remus tries and invent a breath mint potion, everything goes terribly wrong, switching bodies with everyone in that circle and not knowing how to switch back. (Sirius Black fanfic) 

(If you get confused on who is who)

Remus-Marlen James-Lily Sirius-Ash 

Word Count-1.7K

Send Requests Here

“Lily, Ash, Marlene!” I faintly heard someone hiss, I didn’t care to react, thinking I was dreaming, after listening for a couple seconds, I felt myself drift back to sleep. “Ash,” Someone hissed in my ear.

“Bloody hell, i’ll hex you,” I cried out tossing my soft blanket off my face and squinting my eyes at the bright light in the room. “What do you want?” I asked unknowing who was talking to me. 

“Bloody hell turn the lights off,” I heard Marlene squeal, less of a morning person then I was, the lights went off.

“Remus wants everyone in the common room, he has something important to share,” The voice said Sirius, causing my eyes to pop open, only being a sports bra and shorts. 

“Sirius Black, you get out of this room right now,” I cried out pointing to the door, pulling my blanket up to my chest.

“I’ll be back if you three aren’t down in the common room in five minutes,” The door open and shut.

“Bloody hell i’ll kill those boys one day, always coming in here,” Marlene croaked turning on her light. “What the hell is going on anyways?” She asked looking in my direction.

“Like hell, I know,” I mumbled closing my eyes then opening them again. “Probably some dumb boy shit, no doubt,” I tossed my sweater on quickly then sat on straight, looking at Lily who was standing up out of her bed and brushing her hair.

“How are you a morning person Lil, i’d kill to sleep all day,” Marlene said making herself and I laugh and nod our heads in agreement.

“Not sure, my parents were always up early so I was always up early, i’ll meet you two down in the common room,” And just like that, Lily was out of the room, leaving Marlene and I.

“What do you think they they’re gonna blow up today, or get us detention for this time?” Marlene asked crawling out of her bed, I did the same, walking over to  my closet, grateful that is was a saturday.

“Yeah no doubt we’re going to get detention for this,” I lowly said letting out a bit of a snort, Marlene laughed, we both turned to each other, walking out of the room at the same time.

“Good morning, come sit, I have some exciting news!” Remus called out, he had already sat everyone down in a circle, leaving Marlene and I room to squeeze in.

“What is your so exciting new?” I asked taking my place in between James and Sirius.

Remus grinned brightly, pulling out seven little vials of purple liquid in them. “You guys want breath that smells fresh all day?” Remus asked, James and Sirius looked at each other, leaning over and gawing their breaths

“He needs it!” They both said simultaneously, I rolled my eyes, watching Remus pass the viles to Marlene, who passed them to the next person until everyone had one in hand.

“Fresh lasting beautiful breath here we come,” No one questioned Remus with his potions, since they always were right, and none of them were mix-ups. Everyone went together, chuckling and swallowing the purple potion.

“Smell my breath James,” Sirius suggested, knocking into me, he hadn’t made it to James before falling backwards onto the floor, all our heads shot to him, then to the next thud on the floor, Marlene fell, then James, Lily.

The after taste was awful, making my stomach want to hurl and my eyes baggy. “Remus what did you do?” I pushed my last words out of my mouth, before feeling myself falling backwards, on the soft carpet.

I had felt awake still, but my body felt different, and my stomach was in a knot, my leg felt stronger than my stomach. I forced my eyes open, looking up at the roof, feeling around and not in the same spot.

“Bloody hell what the hell was that?” I moaned rubbing my head, my voice was not my voice, I looked at my hand in my face, that was not my hand either, I quickly sat up looking around the room, everyone was either still laying down or just waking up.

“Oh god what happened,” A woman's voice said beside me, I turned my head, my eyes widened more out of my face. My mouth fell open but no words came out, my eyes turned down to my body, the leather jacket and sweatpants were sure not mine as well.

A scream came from my right, causing my head to turn and look at James who had his hands on his face. “No no no, Remus i’m gonna kill you!” James shrieked again touching his face. 

“What’s the problem?” Remus asked sitting up and looking around the room, his eyes landing on Marlene then his face then around the room. “This is not my face,” Remus had made a squeal, the familiar squeal I had heard this morning from someone else.

“Marlene?” My deep voice said looking over at Remus, or Marlene who looked over at me confused. “It’s me, Ash,”

“Ash?” Marlene said placing her hand on her face. “Why am I right there?” She asked looking over at her body that was curled up in a ball, slowly waking up.

“Hey thats me,” My head turned beside me, myself was awake and looking around, unsure of who was in my body. “Thats me?” The person said again, holding there hands on their face.

“Remus what the hell did you do!” Marlene cried out looking around the room, the person beside her started moving, moaning and touching their face.

“I didn’t do anything, I just,” Remus started to say, who was in Marlene's body sat up and looked around, spotting Marlene who was in his body beside him. “Oh no,” Remus hand went on his blonde hair, pushing it over his eyes.

“Bloody hell what happened?” Lily moaned sitting up and looking around, her reaction was the same as everyone else, seeing her body and letting out a girlish scream and covering her mouth.

“James?” Sirius asked tilting his head and looking over at James beside me, who sat up and looked around, letting out a manly scream and covering his mouth again. 

“Okay everyone calm down!” Remus shouted standing up, he looked down at the skirt he was wearing and his face went bright read.

“Hey don’t look at me like that!” Marlene pipped up looking at Remus and shaking her head.

“If your me,” I whispered turning my head to Sirius who was looking at himself up and down. “Oh god,” I grabbed my hair, expecting brown but Black hair fell onto my face. “Anyone but you Sirius,”

“Stop talking!” Marlene shouted standing up and looking around the room, I chuckled at her expressions when looking down at her body and spotting her own self standing beside. “Ash, Sirius,” She pointed as Sirius and I, who looked at eachother, then down at our bodies again.

“Nice boobs,” Sirius smirked placing his hands on his chest grinning. I smacked his hands away.

“Lily,” Marlene said catching the attention of Lily who had been in James body. “James,” 

“I am so sorry,” Remus said sitting back down and placing his hands on Marlene's head, or his head. “I don’t now how his could have happened,”

“You put me back in my body right now, I can’t even believe this!” Lily squealed running her fingers not through her long red hair but her slick almost black hair.

“I need to get my book, I don’t know what to do,” Remus got up and left the room, Marlene fell backwards, placing her hands over her scared face, letting out little weaps.

“How to you make your skin so soft, and your hair, it’s so siky,” Sirius was unbothered, running his fingers on his skin and though my long brunette hair.

“Stop touching my face Sirius,” I hummed smacking his fingers. “Don’t touch anything, it’s weird,” 

“I’ve got good news and horrible news, what do you guys wanna here first,” Remus came rushing down the stairs, with a book in his face, moving the long blonde hair out of his face every couple seconds. 

“Good news, please just put me back in my body before James ruins my hair,” Lily cried out placing her hands on her hand, running her fingers though her hair.

“Well, I know a potion that can fix this, but,” Remus said looking at the five of us. “It’ll take a month, and it’s complicated,”

No one said a word, Marlene was the first one to do anything, walking up the stairs and slamming the door shut.

“I can’t even believe this,” I whispered putting my head down into my hands. “I can’t do this,” My hands ran though Sirius’ hair that felt silkier than mine.

“I am so sorry guys, and I promise that all your homework will be done by me and and,” Remus sat on the floor, playing with the blonde hair that hung down his face. 

“We have class, what do you want us to do, I can’t even!”  Marene came down the stairs, wearing a long woolen sweater to cover Remus’ shirt he was wearing.

“Well atleast now i’ll pass my potions test today, that's Lily Flower,” James chuckle hitting Lily's shoulder. 

“Not if I let you fail, just because I have to be you doesn’t mean i’m going to be any nicer,” Lily muttered crossing her arms. 

“I need to go get ready for class, lets see what pretty panties you’ve got to wear Ash,” Sirius smirked helping himself off the ground, I watched him slowly walk up the stairs before getting up myself and running after him.

“Don’t touch my underwear Sirius!” I yelled jumping on his back and covering his eyes before he had a chance to do anything. “Or i’ll touch all your clothes and use all your hair gels,”

“You wouldn’t,” Sirius hushed moving my hands off his eyes. “I wasn’t going to be a weirdo about it,” I shook my head looking at my face on Sirius. “Wow I have so much nose hairs,” Sirius stuck his finger in my nose causing me to fall off in disgust.

“We have to get to class Sirius, stop horsing around, just slip my robe on, and lets go,” I helped myself up on my feet, crossing my arms at Sirius again.

“Ash I didn’t realize you smelt so good,” Sirius slipped off my sweater then tossed my robe on, I walked out still with my arms crossed, Sirius robe felt silkier and nicer, knowing I was going to be keeping his robe after this.

[wondertainmenttoys]

ooc: Looking back, I can understand why Professor Funtastic didn’t really make it on the wiki. Their one SCP article, while interesting from a worldbuilding standpoint (Dr. Wondertainment(tm) having to deal with actual competitors), didn’t do much aside from turning things purple (though the argument could be made that there are other SCPs who do much less), and the one Tale featuring them straight up had Mr. Lawyer come up with a gun and murder them, which feels waaaaay out of character for Dr. Wondertainment. 

Honestly, it might have been better for Funtastic and his Tiny Senors to have been contained within a Tale, or even some sort of short series, instead of being an SCP article.

Ah well. The role Funtastic had in the SCP universe has now been filled by GAW’s Misters Against Weed series, which is just as good tbh.

[raging-tackeydios]

apparently people liked this so i made a bunch of sample dialogue for the monsters that i liked

great/drome monsters: "Alright, troops! This hairless ape is trying to encroach on our turf! But are we gonna let him? NO! Now CHARGE! ...I said CHARGE! (...Guess that strategy still needs some work.)"

(blue) yian kut ku: "Nnngh...I don't wanna be here...and my feet hurt...I was just looking for some Tropical Berries...Can you let me go, please?"

cephadrome: "Yeah, that's right! I'm swimming! In the SAND! Pretty impressive, huh? Your tiny brain must be about to explode by now. Go ahead: just try to drag me out!"

(scarred, deadeye) yian garuga: "Y O U ! Monkey thing! Hehehehe...You really thought you could escape ME for so long?! I've been itching for a fight, and you go and kill everything I wanted to kill...So I'll rip your guts out, and then I'll be the toughest around!! Ah-ha, ha-haaa!"

(black) gravios: "Eh? Oh. You're the ape thing that was sent to kill me. Well, uh...be my guest, I guess. Let's just get this over with..."

(purple) gypceros: "Whoa...You have so much neat stuff, ape thing! Lemme touch it lemme touch it lemme touch it-"

(red) khezu: "hUNTer. HU. ntER. finD? dfIN. fIN hUTNer."

(pink, gold, dreadqueen) rathian: "(Gog, what did that idiot do this time...) Are you here regarding something my husband did? I'm sorry about him: he can be...a handful...sometimes."

(azure, silver, dreadking) rathalos: "Gaw haw haw haw! Well, if it ain't the hairless ape chumps! You'll never be able to fight ME in the air! Go ahead, just try and throw a Flash Bomb while I'm flying...not like a couple of schmucks like you would be able to! (Hey, uh, Rathi...that was good, right?)"

diablos: "Eh? Who the hell is it? You...must be really damn stupid trying to step to me, kid. When this is over...I'm walking out with your fucking intestines wrapped around my neck like a flower garland."

bloodbath diablos: "You are weak, complacent...cowardly! Unworthy of life! I shall raze everything you hold dear, even if I have to drag you to Hell with me!! Prepare to die, worthless insects!"

black diablos: "You. You're coming with me. This isn't a question, I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life. And then you're getting inside me. Now."

(white) monoblos: "Well, well, ya finally made it, young'un! I've been hearin' some mighty fine things about'cha rising up the ranks an' whatnot. Now...ya ready for yer final test?"

(plum, stonefist) daimyo hermitaur "G-gah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I just wanted to eat this carcass in peace...P-please don't hurt meee!!"

(terra) shogun ceanataur "Hah! What's that tiny little appendage you got there? You call THAT a claw?! Lemme show you a real set of knives. Time to turn you into sashimi!"

rustrazor ceanataur: "Gotta...get one last sharpening in...One more hit...I-I can quit whenever I want, man! Just a little more claw ore!"

(green, lucent, silverwind) nargacuga: "I am the terror that cuts through the night...I am the Dung Bomb keeping the Deviljho of hatred and evil at bay...I am Nargacuga! ...How was that? Great, right?!"

(molten, grimclaw, brute) tigrex: "HI HI HI HUNTER HOW ARE YOU GREAT THAT'S GREAT ME TOO YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WANT A HUG I'M GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND GIVE YOU A HUG GET INTO MY MOUTH"

(furious) rajang: "Found you! You're pretty slippery, you know that? But it doesn't matter, because someone this powerful's got to be a barrel of fun! Don't hold back, hunter!"

(flaming) espinas: "[unintelligible muttering] Muuuh...Who's there...? Is anything...dead around me...I wanna go back to bed..." (flaming) espinas (enraged): "I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU WALK INTO MY DOMAIN, PUT BOMBS AROUND MY HEAD AND THEN YOU KEEP FUCKING SLAPPING ME! I'M GOING TO DRAG YOUR GODDAMN ESOPHAGUS OUT OF YOUR NECK ON THIS HORN, AND THEN I'LL FUCKING DROWN YOU IN YOUR OWN FLUIDS YOU UTTER WASTE OF OXYGEN"

akantor/ukanlos: "Behold, [unstoppable ebon might/indomitable alabaster strength]! Now, kowtow before me as I [subsume this world in raging flame/drag the world down into eternal frost]!"

(crimson) qurupeco: "You dare insult my presence with that tiny recorder you call an instrument? I am an artiste! I can't be seen around something as unsightly as that! Time to teach you a lesson!"

(rust) duramboros: "Dern hairless apes...Can't a fella graze in peace?! Guess I'll just hafta knock some sense into ya..."

brachydios: "Gyah ha! You wanna step into the ring with the Crushing Wyvern, eh? In that case, prepare for the fight of your life, brother! Leeet's rumble!!"

(ash) kecha wacha: "Kekekeke...I dunno what's funnier: the fact that you can't hit me up here, or the look on your face!"

(desert) seltas: "TARGET. SIGHTED. At. FIFTY METERS. BEGIN ATTACK."

(berserk) tetsucabra: "Huh huh! With this rock, I'm invisible, see? Where'd I go? ...Guh? Where'd you go?"

(tidal) najarala: "Pfft! You're the pipsssqueak they sssent to defeat me? You're hardly even an appetizer, much lessss sssomething I can conssstrict! Regardlesssss...My sssonic ssscalesss will take care of you lickety-sssplit."

(shrouded) nerscylla: "I'm...not really up to this...Please go easy on me...okay? (Man, I wish I could just disappear into this thing...)"

(tigerstripe) zamtrios: "Ah, hey there, fella! It's nice to meat - er, meet you, but I'm just gonna have to take a little bite out of you to see if you're good, okay?"

(desert) seltas queen: "Hello There Ape. I See My Worthless Underling Is: Late As Usual. He Will Be Here: Any Minute Now (Upon Which We Will Flatten You)"

(boltreaver) astalos: "need more need more NEED MORE i'm not crazy YOU'RE CRAZY i'm going to fucking RIP YOU TO SHREDS hunter and then my lightning will cauterize your-holy SHIT I THINK THE KETAMINE IS KICKING IN”

(violet) mizutsune: "Oh, if it isn't a hunter! I doubt I'll have any trouble dispatching you if your fighting skills are as good as your fashion sense. Let's make this quick; oh, and if you get my fins dirty, I will end you."

(acidic, hellblade) glavenus: "You...You come into my home, and you would dare to try and bring harm to my friends?! If it's a fight you want, you're getting far more than you bargained for. EN GARDE!"

(nightcloak) malfestio: "Ah ha ha ha...Well, you certainly think you have the upper hand, Hunter. But what about...sleight of hand?"

ahtal-ka: "Nyaaah?! A Hunter?! Wait...this is a good thing. I've been looking for a test subject for this Ahtal-Neset prototype! Do your worst! ...Wait, actually, don't go too hard, I still have to study your performance."

(ebony) odogaron: "BITE BITE BITE KILL MURDER EAT MEAT BITE HARDER BITE MURDER MUTILATE BITE BITE BITE KILL KILL KILL"

tzitzi-ya-ku: "Ooh, that outfit looks absolutely amazing! And you say you just threw that together from junk you had in your box?! Let's get a few headshots of that!"

(seething) bazelgeuse: "Aww, you didn't want me intruding? Well, that's too damn bad! To you I am DEATH INCARNATE, cupcake!"

(blood orange) bishaten: "Huhuhuh...Man, you should have seen the look on your face. So, uh, are you gonna eat shit even harder or are you gonna fight me?"

(magma) almudron: "[grumbling] Damn kids these days have no respect for other people's property. When I was a whelp, we had to walk around this area uphill! Both ways! And we liked it!"

somnacanth: "Everybody get HYPED! Somnacanth's here to give you a performance you'll never forget! Here we go!!"

auroracanth: "Ugh...I hate this job. The fans are nice, though. You're not one of them, so please leave."

(pyre) rakna-kadaki: "Aaahahaha! Go forth, underlings! Entangle this interloper in the web of DOOOOOM!! ...Wait, wait, not you. You stay back.

garangolm: "Muh...Someone's hitting me. Well, that's okay. If you have some anger issues you need to work out, I'm here for you, fella."

lunagaron: "So much thyme, so little toys...wouldn't you agree? ...Wait, what do you mean I'm talking nonsense?! Dammit...could have sworn I actually fixed the script this time..."

(ashen) lao-shan lung: "IT'S HERE!! Please, you have to listen to me! The Black One's awoken! We're all going to be incinerated!"

chameleos: "Hyeheheheh...You ready for the GREATEST PERFORMANCE OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE?! No?! Good, because I don't care and you're seeing it anyway! Now, let the show...begin!!"

teostra: "So...you've been sent for me. If I die for my subjects, then I choose to fall as a king. Now strike me down, usurper!"

alatreon: "It hurts...it hurts...so many echoes...so many voices...make...it...STOOOPP!!"

amatsu: "You...I've given you courtesy enough by allowing you in the presence of my divine grace. Time for you to die."

shagaru magala: "Gaze upon the angel's might, mortal...The eternal light that shall bring about your ultimate downfall!"

nakarkos: "HU...NTER...HUNTER...KNEEL...BEFORE US TWO..." nakarkos (second form):"THE HUMAN...THE...UH...HUMA...Eh, fuck it. Yar har har! Bet ye didn't expect THIS being me true form, eh?! That said...unfortunately, nobody can see this and live to tell the tale. Time to send ye to Davy Jones' locker!"'

(crimson glow) valstrax: "You really think you can keep pace with me in a fight? Well, let's test that theory. Don't fall behind, now!"

(ruiner) nergigante: "Gwahahaha! If it isn't some more chumps for the grinder. You really think you'll be able to stand up to me?! I'd be surprised if you didn't get flattened after five minutes! It's SHOWTIME!"

velkhana: "(I'm really sorry about this...)" Ahahaha! All who oppose my icy reign shall be crushed under my heel! Now, prepare to die, Hunter!"

namielle: "You're looking fresh...but you know I'm fresher! Watch me dunk on you with these squidtastic moves!"

malzeno: "Kyahahaha! Gaze upon the eternal, all consuming, unending, all-destroying, blackness of my heart...AND DESPAAAIR! ...Sorry. Was that, like, too overkill, or...?"

primordial malzeno: "...So it's come to this, huh. If it means that countless others survive, then I choose to die a hero. And, well, if anyone had to end me...I'm glad it was you, Hunter. ...Don't hold back."

zorah magdaros: "...And then I put a Tropical Berry on my fanny pack, as was the style at the time...Now, back in those days, zenny had pictures of Vespoids on them...and then while crossing the land bridge we-"

shara ishvalda: "THE OTHERS...THEY'RE BUT ANIMALS...THEY AREN'T...AWAKE. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, HUNTER. PEERING AT ME FROM BEYOND YOUR SCREEN. WATCHING ME. MAKING ME SUFFER...WELL. LET'S RETURN THE FAVOR, SHALL WE?"

safi'jiiva: "I am...the king of all things. The perfect being. All others...should be honored...that their life goes to support the ultimate life form!"

narwa: "Eeyahahah! Gaze upon me, insect, and tremble! Your village, overrun by my thralls: your beloved friends, turned into my puppets! Those who wish to disrupt my plans of world domination have very short futures...much like yours."

gaismagorm: "CONSUME...DEVOUR...MY UNDERLINGS...FEED ON THEIR LIFE FORCE...AND ADD IT TO MY OWN..."

(crimson, white) fatalis: "Hatred...HA...TRED...You who...feast on my...people's hides...cast them aside...for the treasures within...I WILL...END YOU..."

shitty idea time: monster hunter monsters if they had personalities/characters and bantered with the hunter mid-fight instead of being mindless animals

for context the variant, deviant, subspecies, etc. monsters would have the same lines as the vanilla species but with different VAs, paralleling how their hunting horns are the same melody with different instruments

i didn't do all of them because i couldn't really think of personalities for all of them

okay go

———

"great/drome" monsters: somewhere between the soldier and charlie from pikmin 3: military commanders ordering about their pack members in battle with...less than effective results

(blue) yian kut ku: constantly scared, bellyaching about how his auricles hurt or he's out of breath and such, and would very much rather be somewhere else: he's a big chicken, after all

(scarred, deadeye) yian garuga: basically imagine scratch from adventures of sonic the hedgehog if he wanted sonic ground into a bloody paste instead of merely hurt or captured: he even has the voice too. throws huge temper tantrums when you get knocked out of the arena or another monster intrudes because it means he can't fight you any more

cephadrome: constantly taunting the player about how he's so hard to hit under the sand, but the moment he gets dragged out he starts begging for mercy and running away

(ruby) basarios: too fat and stupid to even realize you're trying to attack him, or that he's attacking you...kinda like louie from pikmin honestly

(black) gravios: lazy, almost depressed, even, and doesn't really care about the fact that you're trying to beat the snot out of him: if you win, he dies, and if your weapons bounce off of his carapace he gets to wallow and be miserable more, so it's a win-win situation

(purple) gypceros: adhd personified. hyperactive as hell and constantly getting distracted during the fight, only to circle back and get super pissed at you: when he "dies" the first time he gets sad that his prank didn't work if you don't fall for it

(red) khezu: weird scrimbly bimbly thing that only talks in short sentence fragments, is constantly sniffing around to get a read on you, and sounds garbled like he's underwater. also the screaming. he's constantly screaming seemingly at random. kinda like a much more gooey hyness

(gold, pink) rathian: more down to earth than rathalos (because she stays on the ground.) she gets tired of having to basically babysit rathalos sometimes but she still loves him with all her heart. constantly trying to rein him in and get him to take you seriously during the fight when they're fighting together: regardless of whether he's killed or captured she breaks down sobbing and trying to avenge him

(silver, azure) rathalos: imagine a flying version of bowser from the mario RPGs. dumb as bricks, and he's not really treating the fight as life or death, but more like just a thing he does every tuesday: he's happy to see you, but he still has to act like the bad guy. you can hear him trying to practice his evil laugh as he's flying away, then berating himself for it not being good enough. if he's fighting with rathian he gets a lot more meek when she's captured and almost goes dead silent for the rest of the fight when she's killed

diablos: has a potty mouth that would put a sailor to shame. during his turf war with black diablos they both get off on the fact they're beating the crap out of each other

bloodbath diablos: basically a fusion between kai yan and tartarus from dragalia. believes that the philosophy of "might makes right" is the ultimate creed, and wipes out any monsters near him because he believes they're weak and unfit of fighting to live. meanwhile he kills humans for the slight they inflicted on him in the past. gets more desperate as the fight wears on because he cannot be anything less than the perfect being, and when he dies/gets captured he's not mad because he lost, he's mad because he lost to you.

black diablos: horny. angry and very very horny. does not care about the fact that you're a fraction of her size: she's getting off on the fact that you're dealing intense bodily harm to her and thus she wants you inside her. basically the embodiment of this meme here:

(white) monoblos: a friendly rival to diablos, and treats the entire fight as a huge pissing contest between them, even when the former is nowhere to be found. very proud of his horn. knows hunters are always after him as a rite of passage, so he's sort of fallen into a mentor-like role, and he's always proud when he gets slain or captured

(plum, stonefist) daimyo hermitaur: scared and is constantly hiding behind his claws, prioritizing keeping you the hell away at all times. very antisocial.

(terra) shogun ceanataur: extremely proud of his claws, yelling about keeping your hands off "the merchandise" once he gets enraged, and both figuratively and literally starts foaming at the mouth once they get broken. gets really embarrassed once his shell is broken, and stays meek like that for the rest of the fight

rustrazor ceanataur: acts like a drug addict, only with the drug references replaced with references to sharpening his claws on glavenus' skull

(green, lucent, silverwind) nargacuga: wants to act like a ninja. ends up acting more like something out of naruto. also he recites his own version of darkwing duck's "i am the terror that flaps in the night" thing at the beginning of the fight

(molten, grimclaw) tigrex: dim, but a really nice guy, kind of like a large dog, and actually doesn't mind you fighting to the death that much: the problem is that he's CONSTANTLY FUCKING SCREAMING EVERYTHING HE SAYS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. his violent charges aren't actually charges he's just trying to give you a big hug. with his mouth.

(furious) rajang: imagine goku but like a minimum of ten times as violent and with the battle-obsessed stalker-ish qualities of nemona. can be sometimes heard humming parts of the DK Rap when calm. his fight is as much him showboating as he is trying to maul you

(flaming) espinas: talks in his sleep. starts off asleep and mutters stuff like "just five more minutes mom" as you hit him, then gradually starts groggily walking around. then when you hit him enough he loses his shit and starts swearing up a storm while beating the tar out of you...and then eventually the adrenaline wears off and he reverts to the passive half-asleep version of himself.

akantor/ukanlos: acts like a JRPG villain's monstrous final form, with parallels to each other's lines

arzuros: expy of banjo. one of the few monsters that actually gets along with qurupeco

(snowbaron) lagombi: sort of like a skier. less focused on fighting you and just happily slip-sliding around on the ice.

volvidon: constantly warning you to keep your distance mid-fight: since the Soiled gas is actually just flatulence, he's worried he's going to have a bit of stress-induced incontinence

(crimson) qurupeco: you know how squidward believes he has lots of talent with the clarinet but he actually plays like ass? yeah imagine that but replace the clarinet but with monster roars. all the other monsters only come to his "aid" just to shut him the hell up, and he's gleefully unaware of this even as he's being ripped to shreds

barroth: has a couple pebbles rattling around in his crown in lieu of a brain, and thus goes nuts like a dog seeing a mailman with a single minded pursuit to run you over

nibelsnarf: obsessed with food. will eat any bombs you put down and deem them delicious, even after they explode in his gullet and he calls them "a bit spicy."

(steel) uragaan: basically a goron in all but name: loud, boisterous, rolls to get around, and loves eating rocks

(rust) duramboros: basically an old miner that mostly just wants some peace and quiet. has to put a considerable amount of effort into all of his attacks, especially the one where he throws himself into the air like a shot put, and starts complaining about his back after he lands

(thunderlord) zinogre: a breakdancer. constantly boasting about his moves in battle and treats his fulgurbug tenants as "special effects."

brachydios: acts like a hammy heel wrestler such as rawk hawk or incineroar...even though he's supposed to be a boxer instead of a wrestler. sometimes he acts like he's sparring with you instead.

raging brachydios: the same heel persona from before, but now all washed up and depressed, desperately grasping at his former fame. near the end where he traps you in his lair he gets his old passion back as he goes completely apeshit for one last fight

(savage) deviljho: not really much different from his canon incarnation, except now he just moans or roars "STILL...SO...HUNGRY..." at times

(ash) kecha wacha: somewhere between a class clown and a memelord. hangs on branches and canopies specifically to cackle at you.

(desert) seltas: speaks like a stereotypical robot. not much to him unless he's being used as a puppet by the seltas queen: he is a drone, after all

(berserk) tetsucabra: somewhere between big the cat and big man. the rocks he pulls up are supposed to be for him to hide behind, but he's so dim he thinks you're gone too.

(tidal) najarala: a stereotypical snake character that speakssss like thissss. sometimes he accentuates the hissing noises by rattling his tail along with them. gets pissed off when you escape his "ring of doom" attack, as he has to spend a lot of time positioning himself to circle around you and enact it.

(shrouded) nerscylla: looks intimidating but is actually really shy and timid (sorta reflects real tarantulas tbh). her gypceros cloth is like a hoodie to her and she gets really sad when it's destroyed

(tigerstripe) zamtrios: actually a really nice guy. the problem is, like real sharks, he figures out whether something is food or not by biting it. obviously most hunters don't let him nibble them and just whack him, so he ends up fighting most people he meets. also he makes the "dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun" from Jaws while he's swimming through ice. his voice lines get pitched up super high when he's inflated.

(desert) seltas queen: speaks much like A Certain Other Queen (The One Who Is: At The Very Least Kinda Sorta Famous) and treats her seltas underlings like garbage. once she fully takes control of the seltas they speak in unison

seregios: imagine jaleel white's sonic if he could shoot his spines. and also fly. spins the fact that he's basically a refugee by saying he's spreading freedom wherever he goes, much like the real sonic. deep down, he isn't buying it.

(boltreaver) astalos: crackheaded hyperactive maniac. makes a lot of references to monster energy: this is because his electric powers don't come from his special muscles, but from him guzzling down cans of monster by the truckload. explains the crackheadedness i guess. repeatedly denies that he's crazy to the rest of the fated four

(violet) mizutsune: huge bitch. he wants to be looked at and for everything to be about him all the time, and he throws temper tantrums sometimes when it isn't. also he's horny. very horny. he sounds snooty and effeminate like Juno Songs' portrayal of rubber band from Paper Mario: The Origami King

soulseer mizutsune: f u c k i n g sans undertale

(acidic, hellblade) glavenus: acts like a noble knight and will lay down his life to protect other members of the fated four. gets into quarrels with gammoth who is of a similar mindset. despite being a protector, his real love is cooking, which he does with his heated tailblade.

(elderfrost) gammoth: also a protector, but in a more motherly sort of way i guess. big enough to encompass the entire rest of the fated four so she just uses herself as a shield.

(nightcloak) malfestio: somewhere between a jester and a magician. constantly talks a big game about gaining sleight of hand on you, and gets flustered when you can outgambit his dirty tricks

ahtal-ka: imagine peridot's voice and personality crossbred with the mechanical ingenuity, scientific passion, and sheer psychopathic bloodlust that TotK's version of link is known for. basically treats the entire fight as a giant experiment and actively takes notes each time you defeat her ahtal-neset, so she can get rid of the weak spots you target.

(fulgur) anjanath: basically the jerk jock trope personified, fitting how it's known as the "relentless ruffian." talks a big game in battle but is quick to fold when something bigger, like a rathalos, enters the scene

(ebony) odogaron: you know that scene from gumball where it's shown from the Evil Turtle's perspective and it's like "BITE BITE BITE EAT FOOD FOR STRENGTH TO BITE BITE BITE MAKE LITTLE TURTLES TO BITE EVEN MORE" ...yeah that's basically how this guy operates

tzitzi-ya-ku: basically a paparazzi/photographer. flees peacefully once he gets good "shots" of monsters (read: blinds them) and when he's fighting you he's more concerned about getting your good side and putting you in the right light than he is about self preservation

(seething) bazelgeuse: basically a much angrier version of the soldier. barely even knows why he's in this locale or that: all he knows is that he's not going home until something dies. flies into battle screaming at the top of his lungs.

aknosom: an acrobat and a performer. more concerned with stomping on your face like a goomba than actually doing anything effective. tries to lick you once you're close to its head while it's downed.

tetranadon: another wrestler-inspired character like brachydios, but this time he's a face instead of the heel. very self absorbed and is convinced all of the small monsters watching from the sidelines are there to cheer him on and boo you.

(blood orange) bishaten: an even bigger shitlord than kecha wacha. could not care less about whether he lives or dies because he had fun and he got to see you get pissed while doing it.

(magma) almudron: a cantankerous old dude. he's less interested in actually protecting his territory and more so just chasing you off it. constantly complaining and bellyaching regardless.

somnacanth: a parody of an idol. her singing voice is actually really good but she gets so passionate that she releases her signature narcotic dust, which puts any prospective audience to sleep. still, she tries to put on the best performance she can even mid-fight

auroracanth: the idol from before but now jaded and disillusioned with life.

(pyre) rakna-kadaki: a wicked witch-archetype character that cares really deeply about her rachnoid minions. gets really distraught when you kill them or knock over the sac she's using to incubate them. this does not stop her from eating the rachnoids that are males. basically imagine Magica deSpell (2017) if she had an entire army of lenas instead of just one

(scorned) magnamalo: a mirror to the fierce flame, constantly spouting out cheesy puns and one liners with almost all of his attacks. starts laughing like a maniac once he does that move where he runs around like crazy.

garangolm: very peaceful, even to the point that he's willing to forgive you up to a certain HP threshold or if captured. but this guy hates anyone who would disturb the peace or bully others, and eventually lose his shit and decry you going "YOU! ARE NOT! A NICE! PERSON!!!" or something like that

lunagaron: tries to put on a sonic.exe-esque vibe to seem more intimidating, contrary to what his werewolf-like design would suggest. he's very terrible at it and ends up flubbing his "lines" often.

(ashen) lao-shan lung: basically that hobo who sits on the street holding the "The End Is Near" sign. only this time the end is actually near because the only reason he's there is because he's fleeing from fatalis.

kirin: h o n s e

chameleos: basically scampton from deltarune chapter rewritten if he was a magician as well as a jester. his entire fight is, from his perspective, mostly a bunch of cool magic tricks, but he's also screwing with you a bit too. the problem is that he's not satisfied until you're having as much "fun" as he is, and he's insane and his desire for fun is insatiable. kinda like caine from the amazing digital circus

teostra: basically @darbycupit's portrayal of king leongar, but as a good guy. he's revered and treated by a noble king by all the other monsters.

lunastra: violently protective of teostra. will go apeshit on anything that so much as looks at him funny and he often sheepishly has to reel her back in. basically the opposite of rathian.

yama tsukami: basically a super-sized supernatural patrick star. doesn't really care about what he's doing or where he ends up as long as he gets to eat stuff.

alatreon: completely batshit insane. the schizo to end all schizos. the voices in his head are actually mental representation of his various active modes. with his dying breath he thanks you for keeping him from suffering split between multiple personalities.

amatsu: believes it is his divine right to take territory he wants, blowing out all others with mighty storms, and treats the fierce flame (and other animals in general really) with nothing but contempt. gets more desperate and rageful as the fight goes on because he doesn't want to be killed by what's basically an ant to him

gore magala: acts aloof and ominous in an attempt to appear cool. however, he's basically still just a kid on the inside, and as such his true childish personality often slips through the cracks

chaotic gore: incapable of making any speech other than pained howls. when killed he thanks you for ending his suffering.

shagaru magala: basically @stelyos' portrayal of fecto elfilis: a YHWH-like warlord god who sees all life as beneath him and worthy only of subjugation

nakarkos: starts the fight trying to keep up the facade that he's a two headed bone abomination, using his tentacles like puppets to keep up the con. however, as the fight rolls on and the tentacles get uncovered, he half-heartedly tries to keep up appearances before going "fuck it" to pop out and reveal his true form, and with it his true personality: a very gluttonous and boisterous pirate

(crimson glow) valstrax: the fastest thing alive, more concerned with showing off his incredible speed than actually fighting you. once he realizes he might actually be in trouble, he just doubles down and starts showboating harder instead of making an effort.

(blackveil) vaal hazaak: a mysterious necromancer-like character. what he actually wants is friends due to being holed up in the bottom layers of the vale and being too hazardous to approach, and when killed, he'll lament that he could really only have friends through effluvium necromancy.

(ruiner) nergigante: yet another bowser expy, this time of juno songs' portrayal of the character

velkhana: actually pretty chill. however, she has to keep up appearances, namely those from the frozen corpses she leaves around, and acts like a supervillainess while fighting you

namielle: dumb as a rock and only really cares about looking cool in battle and looking cool in general. basically an inkling in all but form and name.

malzeno: despite his elegant appearance he's actually a huge chuunibyou. he's really new to this whole "bad guy" schtick after becoming the qurio's host to protect everybody, so he's putting all the effort in all the wrong places of his performance.

primordial malzeno: a noble hero that willingly accepts the fact that he needs to die for the sake of everyone else at the beginning of the fight. as the infection progresses further he becomes less and less coherent and at the end he's basically only making pained screeches, begging for the fierce flame to end his misery during his brief periods of lucidity

zorah magdaros: the entire fight dialogue is basically a never ending long winded rambling old man monologue

shara ishvalda: basically imagine that thing about monika knowingly shutting down any streams she detects at her part of the story in DDLC, except different. shara ishvalda's banter isn't directed at the hunter. it's directed at you specifically. if you have an xbox kinect maybe the game would turn it on to look at you and better fit said banter.

safi'jiiva: similar to the other part of @stelyos' portrayal of fecto elfilis: a world-shaping godlike being that firmly believes that survival of the fittest is the only way the world can work, and since he is by definition the fittest, he's the only one that deserves to survive

ibushi: no thoughts only horny

narwa: constantly talking smack to you through the twins

gaismagorm: sounds like a massive mishmash of voices sort of like @darbycupit's portrayal of fecto forgo. it's not actually anything supernatural the voices just echo around in his weird flower mouth thing and they all sound different

all of the fatalises: somewhere between tartarus from dragalia lost on steroids and calamity ganon: a being that was so consumed by its hatred it turned into a nearly mindless shade of its former self

[dramaqueeenamby]

Thank You

I honestly don’t know how to start this because I have so much that I would like to say and so many to personally and individually reply to. However, I will try to keep it short. 

Firstly, Merry Christmas to all and happy holidays for those of you who do not celebrate Christmas. 

I have never been shy about my struggles with mental health on this platform. From when I first made this account almost ten years ago, I’ve been very transparent with that part of my life.

I truly thought that I was in a much better place than where I was almost a decade ago. I was wrong. Just two days after announcing I needed some self-time, I found myself having to remove any and all pill bottles out of my room and asking my brother to hide them because I didn’t trust myself. I was laying in bed, crying, watching a previous goodbye video that I made in 2016, and I just felt low.

A lot was/is going in my personal life but there were things also happening on Tumblr behind the scenes that I didn’t realize was also contributing to my fragility. 

This time away has been good in that it included finally opening up to my family about what happened to me, starting therapy, and just finally allowing myself to make myself available for healing. 

Despite everything, I really have missed all of you and was so damn touched to see how many of you reached out, messaging me, sending me asks, commenting on my posts, and everything. 

I apologize if I miss anyone, but thank you to @muse-of-mbaku @purple-apricots @writingmarvellousimagines @theunsweetenedtruth @sonofnjobu @sarcastic-sunshines @justanotherloveaffair @wakanda-inspired @chaneajoyyy @queentearra @westindianshorty @fentybabyy @mufasathatniggatho @okoyesbabe and so many more of you whose name escapes me at the moment! Words cannot describe how thankful I am for all of you, especially my boos @kumkaniudaku and @sisterwifeudaku who put up with my “passionate” self. 

Gaw, I hate to make this so long, but what I really want to say is that I am back and while I will resume my writing, updates may not be as quick as they were before as I will be focusing a little more on my emotional and mental wellbeing. I know that I owe so many of you fics and whatnot, and I promise that I will do them. You have my word. I just need a little more time. 

I’m really sorry if that disappoints any of you, but I am trying, and I will come through on my promises. It’s a new year, and I’ve cut off the people on this site whose auras were toxic to my wellbeing, and I honestly feel like I’m in a good place right now. I hope to keep it that way. 

God bless all of you. 

❤️Amber ❤️

[jynkiess]

Thanks @apulseinthepages!

Rules: Answer 30 questions, tag 10 blogs & post it as a text post.

1. Nickname: Jenna professionally (?) I guess, but Jean to everyone else

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: LiBRUH

4. Height: 5′4

5. Time: 10:54pm

6. Birthday: October 1st

7. Fave bands: Jem and the Holograms (sure it counts), ELO, ABBA, Peaches and Herb, Marina + the Diamonds, and like, it pains me to admit it, but Your Favorite Martian

8. Fave solo artists: Cab Calloway, Eartha Kitt, Lindsey Stirling, Sabrina Carpenter, Bastille, does Benny Goodman count?

9. Song stuck in your head: Strange Magic - ELO

10. Last movie watched: MyScene Jammin’ in Jamaica

11. Last show watched: The Gifted

12. When did I create my blog: About 6 years ago

13. What do I post: Textposts, movies, shows, art, aesthetics,cartoons, just a bunch of gee-gaws and whatsits

14. Last thing I googled: “Enormous Gaudy Black Ballgown”

15. Do you have any blogs: I have a Christmas blog I run with my sister @elfabaandgarlinda and an animation blog I’ve been neglecting @msparkavenue

16. Do you get asks: Not usually and not the kind I’d like to get when they do (Looking at you NutButt person)

17. Why did you choose your url: Love my girl Jyn Erso, love Scooby-Doo and made the only posts I ever got notes on about it (I love attention but I’m literally BEGGING YOU to STOP reblogging the information one, I cannot express how upset people are I said Shaggy’s a vegetarian ahaha)

18. Following blogs: Here am I thinking it’s a ton, I follow 201 (???)

19. Followers: 557

20. Favorite color: Royal purple

21. Average hours of sleep: 8-10

22. Piercings: Just the two in my ears

23. Instruments: Nuffin. Bummer.

24. What I’m wearing: Sailor Moon ‘Moon Child’ tank, pink fuzzy zebra print pants

25. How many blankets do you sleep with: Sheet and a throw

26. Dream Job: Personal Assistant

27. Dream trip: I wanna stay in that Disney Hotel RIGHT on top of Disneyland Paris

28. Fave food: Cotton Candy Ice Cream

29. Nationality: Trick question, Irish and American

30. Current fave song: Tig Ol’ Bitties - Your Favorite Martian

Ok, 10 blogs, lets see: @autumninavonlea @acosmonautsloth @bittersweetnana @toosmallortootall @dying-suffering-french-stalkers @agirlinpaddingtonstation and that’s what I can think up right now!

[baadeo]

tag game

rules: tag 15 people  you’d like to get to know better

i was tagged by  @klanceisviolet !!! thanks mateeeeee!

1. Relationship status: i'm 1 (one) single boii

2. Favorite color(s): EHM i really like purple and blue

3. Lipstick or chapstick: NONE i hate both tbh

4. 3 favorite foods: peanutbutter, oatmeal and burrito’s

5. Last song I listened to: roaring 20s - p!atd

6. Last movie I watched: i went to the cinema yesterday, i saw hereditary, FK WORST MOVIE EVER oh my gaw, but i had fun so yay

7. Top 3 TV shows: voltron, my hero academia aaaand still yuri on ice tbh

8. Books I’m currently reading: i started reading boyography, i am v curious

9. Last thing I googled: todays weather

10. Time: 12;07 pm

11. Song stuck in my head: THIS IS MY ROARIIIIIIIIIIING ROARING 20S

12. What are you wearing: a t-shirt, sum black jeans and grey socks

13. How many blankets do I sleep with: 2 

14. Dream trip: aaah i want to go to so many places, but i thinkkkkkk japan (and australia and korea and england and and and) 

tagging @boycomet @bipilots @ghiblisappho @happeningstuff @liamstranscomics @monstaxunni @choibummie @pineapple-fool just answer these questions if you want too!!

[hannerd100]

I am starting a business that sells HIGH END RECYCLED GIFT WRAP PAPER AND ARRANGES EXPENSIVE GIFT BASKETS (FOR BOSSES). 

-Hannah

[julianscorpio]

Gaw, y'all! Please stay inside! I don't even feel well today! Those social night life moments can wait for the benefit for your health. . "NIGHT LIFE LEAF CLUB" is available at @Zazzle | @Society6 | @Indiewalls. . You can learn more about my #Art and myself through my website: www.The8thHouse-Art.com #leaf #leaves #pink #purple #Abstract #abstractart #abstractphotograpghy #photooftheday #ArtOfTheDay #Photography #nature #naturephotography #Contemporary #contemporaryart #modernart #zazzle #Society6 #indiewalls #photos #club #clubs #nightlife #party #clublife (at Albuquerque, New Mexico) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAY5kL1nfrI/?igshid=5zctsi994w87

[kingjaffejoffer]

You have any idea what happened to Purple Gaws/ Queen Sosa? She was at the top of the nude tumblr scene for a second then just kinda dissapeared.

Most women who run nude blogs aren’t able to withstand all of the negativity that comes with it. She was no different. 

They gotta deal with a lot. 

[tkriddick]

Purple Rainger https://www.instagram.com/the_gaws_father/ #GawsEnt #TheGawsFather #GAWS  https://twitter.com/tkriddick?s=09 https://www.facebook.com/GawsEnt/                @toasttothegod34 @hervytime @therealblackdre @druhines_  @dameda5h_  @acdagawd @getemdot https://www.instagram.com/p/B5H-FNnF_qn/?igshid=1df77cp95exn8

[chiaroscuros-void-archive]

Tiny tot Ross is playing pretend! Her fluffy white kitten, Baby, prances around as if flying and he reminds her of...

“Magnuh!” She takes out her plush dragon and sets him on a tower of pillows. “Kah-gaw!” 

Giggling, she drapes a purple blanket over Maple then smooches his head. He meows at her in question. 

“A-a...Ahhh-geeel...Ah-gayyy-kah!” 

Hooray! It’s coming together so nicely! She digs around in her pillow case. Let’s see... A gold bow, a flower crown, hmmmm, oh! A little wolf Happy Meal toy and her silver stop watch. 

She takes out her pocket knife- but doesn’t open it- and swings it around. “Bubba! Bubba Bubba!”

It’s time for an adventure!