#purely bcs i’ve been doing this years and nobody has ever noticed

[korixae]

today i was in a tesco bathroom and they had some right bops playing and it was only me and my sister in there so i started full pelt dancing but then predictably, a someone walked round the corner and then we made direct eye contact but it was too late she’d already seen me so then i just had to commit and dancing has never been so painful as the excruciating seconds it took for her to pass the like 2 metres to get to the cubicle

[realcube]

video games + blowjob 🎮

characters: bakugo, kirishima, sero & kaminari

tw// oral (giving), swearing, fem!reader, nsfw - minors dni

all aged up!

katsuki bakugo

♡ bakugo only finds the time to play video games once every millennia 

♡ most of the time, he’s working, training or spending time with you 

♡ also he only plays when the bakusquad arrange a time + date on the gc bc - he’ll never admit it - but he misses talking to them and playing like he used to, so the occasional Battlefield call they have really triggers a sense of nostalgia for all of them

♡ but the calls usually last a good while though lol - minimum 5 hours

♡ usually you let him be and don’t bother him during his calls bc you know how rarely he gets to call his pals but one day, he had been teasing you so much leading up to  his call - leaving you extra needy - and you couldn’t really help yourself

♡ so you snuck into the study room while he was playing, starting off by giving him a light massage which he enjoyed but the problem arose when you slowly got to your knees and began pawing at his sweatpants

♡ that’s when he noticed that you dressed up in your best lace for him too, which made him hard lol

♡ at first he looked pissed off and tried to ignore you but he kept losing focus on the game, his mind brimming with all the things he wanted to do with you

♡ eventually, he gave in and briefly muted his mic to hiss in your ear, ‘fine. but if you make a single fuckin’ sound or try to tease me, i’ll fuck you for all of them to hear, kay?’

♡ you simply hum in agreement before pulling both his boxer and sweatpants down without hesitation, then getting to work

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

bakugo growled deeply, at both your expert mouth movements around his hard member and at the shitty orders kirishima gave. “ ‘over here’ ? where the fuck is that?” it took an embarrassing amount of effort to suppress his moans while said that.

but he wasn’t all to blame. as you made it a point to deep-throat him as soon as you thought he was going to open his mouth to say something. 

“what happened to you, bakugo? you’re so quiet! is everything okay?” mina offhandedly pointed out while heading to the ‘over here’ that kirishima described. although you couldn’t hear what mina said since bakugo was wearing a headset, his reaction was enough to amuse you. 

bakugo snarled, immediately barking profanities at her, “shut it, pinkie! nothing’s fucking wrong! now get back to shoot-” he realised he was on the verge of climaxing so he desperately went to mute is mic before letting a moan escape his lips as he slumped back into his chair in pure bliss, his eyes rolling back into his head slightly as faint pops could be heard from his sweaty palms.

something about the pleasure you worked so hard to bring him an shot an indescribable sense of euphoria through his body, hence he reached down to ruffle your hair without averting his eyes from the screen. “good girl. now scram.”

eijiro kirishima 

♡ again, he doesn’t really have time for video games; his main priorities are work, training & you 

♡ but sometimes video games can fall into the ‘you’ category bc occasionally he asks you to play super mario cart, animal crossing, wii sports etc with him

♡ the only time he plays video games without you is when he plays with the bakusquad on the arranged date they planned

♡ but before the call starts, you can tell he is really tense by the way he is biting his nails so you inquire about it and he kinda just gestures to your new - rather revealing - pyjama set then at his throbbing erection

♡ and ofc being the supportive gf you are, you offered to give him a blowie

♡he loved the idea but at first, he was kinda worried that he might get caught since he is usually very vocal during sex so obviously it’d be hard to just...stop

♡ however you reassured him that he’s manliest guy you’ve ever met so he’d definitely be able to resist a few moans

♡ so he came around quite quickly lol

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“come over here quickly!” kirishima commanded proudly into the mic, a wide grin spread across his face at not only how good you were making him feel, but also at how well he was repressing his moans and the praise he so desperately wanted to give you for sucking so skilfully.

he had to say though, the amount of energy it was talking him to do all of the above was enough to leave him exhausted to the point that the game was just a blur of background noise. and the bakusquad could tell something was wrong as usually kirishima has the best aim out of them all but he has yet to make a single headshot.

although his eyes were glued to the screen, his mind was fixated on only you and how good you made him feel. as he approached his orgasm, he simply let his eyelids flutter shut as he focussed on the little movements you made; your tongue rubbing the underside of his cock, your occasional desperate attempts to deepthroat him, the way your lips wrapped perfectly around his girth, how you resorted to using your hands to take care of the parts of his length that your mouth couldn’t fit. 

“good job.” he hummed his praise for you as he felt you helplessly try to take him into your throat once more before he was ready to cum but the moments leading up to his high were interrupted by a “thanks, man!” from denki which made kirishima’s eyes widen before he hastily muted his mic, allowing himself to orgasm in your mouth from there and let out all the loud moans he had been hiding. 

“thanks, baby.” he said, slowly feeling the post-cum ecstasy fade as he leaned over to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, proceeding to slap his hand over your mouth as he noticed you were about to head in the direction of the bin. “swallow it.”

hanta sero

♡ since sero became a pro-hero he definitely plays way less video games than he did before but he didn’t quit

♡ but whenever he does play, you’re either on his lap or giving him a blowie 

♡ so needless to say, this wouldn’t be your first time sucking him off while he played

♡ anyway, y’all were getting ✨spicy ✨ one day until he realised that he had a call + battlefield scheduled with the bakusquad

♡ deadass he was kissin’ down your neck while rubbing circles on your clothed clit until he just faltered like ‘oh shit i’ve got a call with ‘em today, don’t i?’

♡ DFRGTHYJU you were livid >:((

♡ bc he had got you all riled up and now he was just gonna leave 😩

♡ you asked him if he could skip the call just this once to finish what he started but he was like ‘bros before hoes’ while putting on his headset 

♡ but being the generous king he is, he unzipped to allow you to give him a blowie while he played 

♡ at first you were all pouty bc he should be the one giving you oral but once you realised that it was his offer or nothing, you begrudgingly got to your knees and began 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“eijiro, cover-- eijiro! kirishima!” he yelled into his mic, clearly getting riled up from the high action of the game and the matching high action of your mouth. “hellooo? you there, man? oi, i think kiri ‘s afk.” sero reasoned, looking at the frozen figure of his teammate. 

he felt the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat so he couldn’t help but look down at you, shooting you a cocky smirk instead of the moan you were expecting. he knew what you were trying to do but he wanted to make it clear that it wasn’t going to work on him.

sero had lots of practise at choking back moans and hiding orgasms so it was going to take much more than deepthroating to catch him off-guard. 

he momentarily muted his mic so he could instruct you to go deeper while simultaneously grabbing fistful of your hair to force you to deepthroat him once more, bringing him much closer to his orgasm.

eventually, he suddenly reached his climax but you didn’t allow him to mute himself; you wanted to see him struggle. but unfortunately for you, it was hardly an issue as by now, he was used to cumming silently. but you forgive him as the faces he mada are enough to make you wet as hell.

“alright, mr tough guy.” you purred in his ear, muting his mic for your sake, “let me ride you. let’s see how quiet you can be then, hm?”

challenge accepted. 

denki kaminari 

♡ probably still plays video games a lot - even when he gets a job as a pro-hero

♡ but mans still got his priorities straight so if you ever approach him while he’s playing, saying that you’re feeling a bit horny, he’ll quit real quick lmao

♡ and a video games session with the bakusquad is no exception

♡ you’re feeling horny just thinking about the way he ate you out last night so you told him you want to return the favour as you watch him put on his headset

♡ you knew this was a special time with his friends though so you would’ve been too hurt if he said no but ofc he gladly accepted your offer

♡ but he still wanted to play though so he was a bit conflicted for a moment or two until an idea struck him

♡ ‘just blow me while i play, babe!’

♡ to say you were confused and a little concerned would be accurate, so you inquired further to make sure that he was 100% comfortable with it and he’d deal with the repercussions of a slipped moan 

♡ he seemed confident that it wouldn’t happen though - a little too confident. but this stemmed from the fact sero had told him that he lets his girl suck him off while he plays video games and nobody ever notices. but kaminari didn’t realise that sero’s impressive ability came from years of practise.

♡ you obliged though, happily setting yourself on your knees in front of him and taking his length into your mouth 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“thanks, man!” kaminari exclaimed cheerily, a bright smile spread across his face; partially due to his teammate’s praise but mostly how he’s made it so long into the call without a single moan despite the fact you were making him feel so good down there.

however, as you looked up at him and observed his cocky smirk, something snapped inside you - as it reminded you of the grin he wore last night that you got to see when he’d occasionally pull away from your soaking cunt for air. hence, you recalled how much of a tease he was yesterday and how it pissed you off to no end.

so now that he was sitting submissive to your touch in front of you, why not take your revenge?

your neck slowly retreated backwards to the point where the only thing connecting you to kaminari’s cock was a string of saliva, to which he instinctively whined, “hey! w-why’d ya stop?” completely disregarding the fact he forgot to turn his mic of so mina replied, “who stopped what?” out of confusion.

kaminari’s eyes widened and his face flushed in a way that brought you great amounts of satisfaction, so for being good entertainment, you rewarded him by unhurriedly enveloping his cock with your mouth once more. 

“oh, nothing!” kaminari choked back a moan, realising that his high was fast approaching so he acted accordingly, going to mute his mic, “one second gu-- ah~” the front is cock was finally  - and suddenly - welcomed into the walls of your throat, followed by rapid thrusts which was enough to result in an irrepressible groan escaping his lips.

luckily, his finger found the mute button before the bakusquad was forced to listen to the rest of kaminari’s orgasm. “fuck, baby~” he groaned, tossing his head back in pleasure as his hips jerked back and forth and before he knew it, he was at his climax. out of habit, he yanked his dick away to cum all over your face and chest, barley able to see the masterpiece he created through his heavy lids.

once he finished, he looked down at you with a proud smile, drool staining the corner of his lip, “always so pretty for me~”

[bitch-butter]

hello! can i request "You didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing to apologize for" for any ship of your choosing? or any AU you want? i just really love how your writing flows, it's so cohesive-- don't take this the wrong way but like. i adore sitting down and actually analyzing your stuff structurally? seeing how it works and weaves together to make a whole just makes the shriveled up eng lit major inside me really happy.

w o o f this one ran away from me a little bit, it incorporates some Things I was thinking of re: forgiveness/webgott last month, and it's bit different than pure H/C but I hope you find something to like in it! Thank you for your lovely compliment~

Yes, it's webgott bc i am chained to The Rhythm

4. "You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing to apologize for."

He cleared the drawer once more, eyes scanning into its dark corners for any sign of a missed sock, undershirt, some hidden treasure that he had many years ago deemed worthy of being put in the back of the underwear drawer. Raising his brows, Joe shook his head at himself as he closed it resolutely, tossing his bounty into his pack and stuffing the top with the sack that contained his bathroom shit.

Even remembering the days he used to be able to leave the house with just his keys made him want to sigh like a goddamn cow in the summertime. Now he needs the bag, the car, and Web just to go across the bay.

Speak of the devil, Web padded into the bedroom with his usual September expression: weary, exhilarated, slightly frustrated. Wordlessly, he crossed past Joe to the bed and slumped face-first onto it with a groan.

“Done?” Joe questioned, zipping up the bag.

Making a soft grunt of a sound, Web curled his arms around his head. “Done,” he said, face mashed against the bed.

“Well, get to it,” Joe said, stepping over to land a light smack against Web’s ass and grinning at the outraged whine he got in response. “Don’t want to be late,” he tossed over his shoulder as he stepped back out to the hall, making for the kitchen.

Even out here he can hear the sound Web makes, somewhere between a groan and a sigh. “I’ve changed my mind!”

“No you didn’t!” Joe called back, grabbing the butter left on the counter and shoving it in the fridge, letting his eyes make one final sweep around the kitchen. “If you don’t show your reputation won’t ever recover.”

“Your mother loves me,” Web toned, and Joe couldn’t help a snicker as he moved through the hall back to the bedroom, where Web had at least moved to lay on his back, knees up. “She wouldn’t care, she’d probably let me move in with her if you ever kicked me out.”

Rolling his eyes, Joe stood at the food of the bed, arms folded. “Not with Yom Kippur, you’re not allowed to fuck around. She was happy you said you wanted to come, you don’t want to disappoint her.”

Heaving out a long breath, Web folded his hands behind his head, eyes lowered as he peered down at Joe. His knees tilted just so, his lips quirking, and Joe could see the fucking thought forming in his head before he had a chance to open his mouth.

“No.”

“We have time,” Web said, extending one leg to poke his toes into the left side of Joe’s stomach.

Clicking his tongue, he took hold of the other man’s ankle, giving it a soft pull and smiling in satisfaction as Web tried to pull it back to no avail. “If you think I’m going to miss my last fucking meal just to fuck you then you have another thing coming, alright?”

With a disgruntled twist of his lips Web pulled his leg in again, a little jerk that ushered Joe down onto the mattress as well. “You weren’t this dedicated last year,” he noted lightly, free of the reproach that might have accompanied the words if his family had said them.

Shaking his head, Joe decided to throw Web a bone and settled beside him, at least staying up on his elbows. “Different places,” he said simply.

Web looked up at him fondly, hand coming up to smooth over Joe’s hairline, sweeping it back and trailing behind his ear. “So, how will we spend tonight, then?” he asked quietly, eyes still following along where his hand moved. “If not in bed.”

Breath going slow with the contact, he tilted his head into the touch contentedly. “Well, tonight we’re going to eat like kings, Rach will probably be trying to get drunk in the pantry and hoping nobody notices, we’ll sleep in the attic, then tomorrow we spend a lot of fucking time at the synagogue.”

“And we don’t eat,” Web stated, assured.

“No eating, no drinking,” Joe nodded, brow furrowing at the sight of an eyelash on the other man’s cheek, reaching for it mindlessly.

Humming, Web closed his eyes to accommodate him. “Does this have a corresponding Catholic holiday I can retrofit in my mind?”

“I don’t know, you guys got a day where you feel really guilty about everything?” he asked, presenting the lash to Web balanced on the tip of his finger.

Blinking, Web frowned thoughtfully. “Birthdays.”

“Make your wish, you prick,” Joe grumbled, holding back his smile as Web grinned up at him, pausing momentarily before blowing the lash away into the room. Indulgently, he moved in closer, cupping the warmth of Web’s face in his palm and looking down on him with a feeling as close to serenity as he ever has here, in their bed, the sunlight coming in through their window.

Web returned his gaze, his own hand tracing along the back of Joe’s neck. “Do you confess?”

“Sure.”

“Alone?”

“All together,” he corrected, absently rubbing at the spot on Web’s cheek where he had plucked the lash. “You recite it, while you do this,” he said, shifting gently to bring his hand down to Web’s chest, knocking gently against him, just above his heart, with a loose fist.

Web watched his fist, a bemused smile growing over his lips. “Why?”

Settling his hand over the spot, Joe rubbed gently at him. “To punish your heart.”

Smile stilling over his face, Web absorbed his words with quiet interest, eyes floating down along Joe’s neck to the dark burrow of his chest where it pressed against the bed. “Isn’t the sinning hurt enough?”

Trust Web to try to loop him into a conversation about semantics of all fucking things. He must be more anxious to start his classes than Joe thought. “I don’t know,” he half-shrugged, eyes on his own hand over Web’s heart. “If you’re the sort who doesn’t like hurting people, maybe.”

Web nodded, accepting, smile turning more wistful, thoughtful “That’s nice, to be able to get it all out of the way at once.”

“What, you turned in a paper late?” Joe teased.

Flicking behind Joe's ear, Web looked up at him balefully, just a touch of that familiar humor at the edge of his mouth, like a dimple made of light. “I’d apologize to you, obviously.”

Huffing out a surprised laugh, Joe looked discerningly down at him. “You got something you want to tell me?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Web shook his head softly, hand curling around his neck once more and seeming to anchor him down even further, their faces close enough to see the earnest upset around the angles of the other man’s eyes. “You know.”

Web does this. Likes to see monsters where there are none, invent storm clouds heading for them, and it makes him behave like a child sometimes and a man others. He’s a contrarian, down even past his bones and into the dust of the universe that lived in his being, it is an unchangeable fact. Telling him that there’s nothing to worry about accomplished nothing at the best of times.

Not that it’s ever stopped him trying.

“You don’t have to apologize to me for a fucking thing,” Joe rebuked solidly, hand moving from Web’s heart to his head, fingers resting just north of the delicate point of his hairline. “Sincerely.”

“I do, I…” Web parried, eyes unyielding where they looked up into Joe’s, somehow free of the sort of conflict he contained when he started thinking he and Joe had different opinions. “I know that this isn’t easy, dealing with me. And you do,” he continued, and this close he can see the way his eyes are stuck on his lips, the thought filling him with affection. “And you’re amazing.”

Giving in, chest bowing in like the hull of a sinking ship, he caught Web’s lips with his own, a hot smack of a thing that stole his breath, gave it to Web, who in turn gave it back to him better, better. “You don’t have to apologize for living, doll,” he shook his head, their nose practically knocking. “That’s not the point.”

Web didn’t seem soothed by the kiss, still appearing occupied with some train of thought that sought to carry him off and away from Joe’s eyes. “I still think of it sometimes, you know.”

Joe frowned. “What?”

“That day,” Web said, as though it should be evident.

He has to pause and think. They’ve lived a lot of days together, not just these ones that they’ve spent in this apartment, but the ones they spent as voices over the phone, words on a page, men in uniforms hiding from each other like chameleons. How is he meant to know which day Web means from the thousands they’ve had?

Looking down, the blue of Web’s eyes reminds him absently of Austrian skies. Mountains.

Yes. He knows.

“I think sometimes I should apologize to you and never stop,” Web said gently, managing to keep hold of Joe’s eyes as they blinked back and forth and back and forth into the memory.

He hadn’t thought about that day in a long time. Which isn’t to say he never does, but it’s been a time. If he concentrates he can still feel the sun on his neck, the unnatural sweatiness of his palms, how his face had somehow felt cold, waxy. Picturing the house, the dark guts of it with the man inside squirming like half-digested meat, still fills him with the primal sort of rage that only visits him in his dreams. All around the periphery of the memory is Web, that day he had decided that whoever David Webster was he wanted no part of it.

“It’s in the past,” he excused weakly.

Web pulled in a short breath, face carefully open. “I know it is.”

“So let it be.”

Frown deepening, Web’s brought his eyes back down, and even this small departure felt like shrapnel. Joe combed through his hair, rubbing at his scalp, jostling him enough to win his eyes back. Web opened his mouth, struggling, before settling into the intention. “Do you still think about it?”

“Of course,” he said dully, voice still caught somewhere in his memory.

“Do you ever think I owe you an apology?” Web asked, voice quiet and eyes steady.

The question drops through him like rain. He’s thought of that day hundreds of times, thousands. When he lets his mind walk back up that hill, shining in the sun like the cover of the storybooks his mother would read to him, it isn’t Web he’s thinking of. He thinks of a forest of trees, of the way that one can become millions, and those millions become legion. That day had been about a lot of things, he hadn’t ever intended for Web to be one of them.

Web has apologized to him in too many ways to count. But this memory is deeper than they are, the kind of wound that might close over but will still carry a piece of metal, even smaller than a sliver, nestled inside of them both.

Web gives him grief, for better and for worse. But he gives him peace, too. That’s all the apology he wants.

His silence has drifted over the room like fog, but Web looks at him with the sort of clarity that only a few years ago made him feel like a bug on a pin, but now simply makes him feel known.

“I’ll punish my heart for forgiveness tomorrow,” Web said softly, smile turning up his lips, hand against Joe’s neck.

Huffing, Joe shook his head, taking up Web’s mouth once more, briefly. “You have it,” he rasped, kissing just the corner of his lips, and then the soft heat of his cheek. “You’ve had it.”

Web smiled into the kiss, leaning up to press a matching one to Joe’s own cheek. “Good.”

Swallowing, he followed Web back down, their faces close. “Will you accept mine?”

A disbelieving laugh rumbled up Web’s throat, his head giving a dismissive shake as he gave Joe’s neck a hard rub. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he criticized, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

But they haven’t always been that lucky. This sort of luck isn’t a permanent state of being.

“I don’t know,” he muttered, before pausing momentarily. “Let’s say you forgive me for the first sin I haven’t committed yet.”

Laughing, Web took his hand from Joe’s skin, holding it up beside them in some offering. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Joe confirmed, taking his hand, giving it one firm shake, enough to gather up Web’s laugh, before bringing it to his lips and laying a kiss across its back. “Now come on, let’s go.”

[incomprehensiblelentils]

@dollsome-does-tumblr​ does this and opened it up to anyone and I am feeling chatty today SO!

Because I co-write a lot with my lovely wife, I might answer some questions including those co-written stories, or I might not, depends on how I feel when I get there.

name:

Megan but I go by Lentils most places on the internet, Shadowcrawler over on AO3

fandoms:

at the moment: MCU, especially Agents of SHIELD and Daredevil; Terminator: Dark Fate; Halt and Catch Fire. Oh and I wrote Dollhouse fanfics a thousand years ago. Sometimes I will watch a movie/show and think “those two girls should be gay” and bang out 2k of fic about it and then never write for that fandom again. (I THOUGHT this was going to be HACF but as it turns out, no, it’s not done with me yet.)

where you post:

AO3, at Shadowcrawler. I also have a tumblr @lentils-writes​ where theoretically I post links to fics/advertise them in the tags, because I used to be real precious about not putting porn on this blog, but fuck it.

most popular multi-chapter fic:

Co-written, it’s definitely mallverse, which is I think the reason most writers definitely hate us because it’s very long and there are a lot of tags lmao. The problem is that every tagged character HAS shown up in a significant fashion at some point so we can’t just...untag them! It doesn’t update weekly anymore because we’re exhausted by life lmao so at least there’s that???

As for a multi-chapter fic that was just me, I don’t tend to do that so much, so actually it’s say you will, my 3-chapter Endgame fix-it where Clint dies instead of Natasha and Natasha and Laura have a past. It actually has over 1000 hits which is very exciting! I feel like it’s...niche in a way that is frustrating but understandable lol. I put a lot of my heart into it and some people really liked it, so that’s gratifying.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

Co-written, I think our SHIELD Dollhouse AU is very underrated for the amount of work we put into it. Author bias evident here because I love Dollhouse warts and all, and it’s a lot of fun translating episode plots as well as the general trajectory of the show into stuff that will work with SHIELD characters. We don’t just rewrite episodes, we really try and rework them as needed. Also it features both Skimmons and my beloved rarepair Bobbi/Kara, though of course they won’t get together until later.

Of my own stuff, I’m still really really proud of the AU where Kara Palamas didn’t die. I think that was a pretty severe misstep of the show and I think I did a good job of fixing it. (I haven’t forgotten Kara, promise!)

fic you were nervous to post:

lolololol I wrote some uh. Terminator pornography last year and. They are very porny! I had co-written a bunch of smut obviously, but that was the first time I’d posted like, PWP all by myself on purpose??? and that was TERRIFYING. Also I was very nervous to post the Engame fix-it because that was my own personal goodbye/tribute to Natasha.

how you choose your titles:

They are always either song lyrics or jokes (such as Three Lawyers and a Baby, my Daredevil Accidental Baby Acquisition fic). My WIP docs are always titled either obvious shit like “RoseJannah horse girls” or memes like “what if we belonged to a fire cult and we fucked haha just kidding unless...?” or “Morgan has two mommies.”

do you outline?:

B and I typically outline for the co-written fics, although it’s more often chapter-by-chapter outlines since that’s how we write them. On occasion we’ve fully planned multi-chapter stuff out in advance but that’s less common. Oh and the one-shots are nearly always outlined as well, just to keep ourselves organized.

When I have written planned multi-chapter fics in the past I have used outlines - particularly for the Kara one and I had to do that for the SHIELD Kill Bill AU because I was trying to follow the format of the movie. For things that are allegedly supposed to be one-shots I almost never outline, which turns out to be a terrible idea when they inevitably balloon beyond my control and become 45k like say you will. That one, I wrote out a list of scenes I thought needed to be in it and then I wrote about 75% of those scenes and then I wrote a bunch more scenes I hadn’t planned for. Don’t be like me, kids!

complete fics:

According to AO3, 89 as of right now. Uh, you do not want me to list all of them, here’s a link, I guess!

in progress:

I don’t understand what the difference is between this question and the WIP questions lmao help????

posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue at this time:

Cowritten: mallverse as I said, and its femslash smut oneshots spinoff and character flashbacks spinoff and older characters/teachers spinoff (these get updated, uh, irregularly), the first half of a Piper/Snowflake SHIELD s7 fic that we are planning on finishing the second half of soonish, SHIELD Dollhouse AU, SHIELD Teen Beach AU, SHIELD Buffy AU. You may notice a pattern!

By myself, I have: Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas, a Terminator Hallmark Christmas fic that I ambitiously posted the first chapter of in 2019 and then lost steam immediately (I am going to go back to it sooner or later bc I had some cute ideas for it); the SHIELD Fate of the Furious AU that has one chapter to go and which I do intend on finishing eventually; Three Lawyers and a Little Lady, the Daredevil Accidentally Baby Acquisition AU that is literally just cute kidfic and poly avocados and which I have a bunch of ideas for and just need to buckle down and finish some.

posted WIPs that I have given up on:

Lol so there’s a Dollhouse Caroline/Bennett Doctor Who AU that I wrote purely as idfic and which nobody ever cared about except me, and I think that ship has sailed! RIP darlings. I also had an ongoing Skimmons series waaaay back when where I posted oneshots that were like missing scenes or gay readings for each s1 episode, and I just feel like it would be inauthentic to even try and finish it at this point. (It does include the first ever Skimmons fic to be posted on AO3! Really truly, there’s one fic that shows up as older but it’s an ongoing fic and was updated with the tag way after I posted mine.)

exchange fics due soon/unrevealed:

I haven’t done an exchange since like 2015 lololol I am so bad at them. I am currently working on finishing up my MCU Femslash bingo card, very late, and I do have plans for almost all of the remaining squares!

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder and are incomplete and who knows when they’ll be finished:

“RoseJannah horse girls,” which has been put on hold temporarily but is literally just Rose and Jannah being gay while riding orbaks

half of a Daisy/Gwen fic from Marvel Rising because I know they’re not making any more of those but I stg those two were really gay

multiple fics about Elise Nelson-Page including: avocados Halloween with smol Elise, Aunt Elektra very reluctantly taking smol Elise shopping until she realizes smol Elise also likes weapons (she buys her a fake katana), Uncle Frank is a pushover and spoils the shit out of Elise, and baby Elise has a high fever and everyone freaks out but then she gets better and smile at them for the first time (inspired by baby me lol).

coming soon/not yet started:

“Morgan has two mommies,” yet another Endgame fix-it where Maya Hansen did not die in Iron Man 3 and she resurfaces and she and Pepper kiss and eventually she adopts Morgan

Claire and Colleen go on a nice date to get coffee/tea where Danny doesn’t interrupt them goddammit

Bobbi/Kara Warehouse 13 AU which is sort of like “For the Team” but gayer ft. grappling hook

X-Men: Evolution Tabby/Amara fluff

Cameron/Donna character study disguised as smut

Grace proposes to Dani with a ring made out of the metal from her power source and Carl officiates the wedding 

Dani gets horny watching Grace eat a peach and jerks off and Grace ends up hearing her and then they fuck (I have been calling this “the peach fic” in my head but I gotta stop being delicate about it lmfao it is just porn)

B and I have plans to do a Nico/Karolina Jasper in Deadland AU but we keep forgetting

I MUST WRITE FOGGY AND KAREN SADLY FUCKING IN A CHURCH WHILE THEY MOURN MATT THIS YEAR I STG

do you accept prompts:

uhhhhhh I have on occasion written a prompt for someone before but it’s pretty rare and I have enough trouble writing the shit I come up with in my own head lol. but never say never?

upcoming story you are most excited to write:

I’ve got a bit of the Bobbi/Kara Warehouse fic written and it’s nice to go back to that world. Also I’m weirdly excited about the Cam/Donna smutty character study I mentioned above, I have a lot of what I think are good ideas for it and it’ll be fun.

tagging @unwind-myself @swiftzeldas @swashbucklery @loved-the-stars-too-fondly and, if you want to, you!

[romancing-lady-whistledown]

the fandom was exactly like this, every time Lucas or Eliott weren't a perfect human and had flaws the fans here would say they were ruined. like Lucas saying some ignorant things on s5 and s6 doesn't mean they ruined him?? and it wasn't ooc he said some ignorant things on s3 as well. but he apologises. fans are obsessed with purity, they want their fave characters to be 'woke kings' . I read fics where Lucas was super "woke" and honestly it made me cringe so much bc that's not him

Hi anon! I have no idea when I recieved this as Tumblr never notified me about it, so I’m sorry if this response is really late! This got kinda long so I’ll leave my response under the cut.

 Personally when it comes to Elu-fanfiction (which is the only type of fanfiction I read, actually) I’ll enjoy anything that can give me the Elu-feelings, just in different ways depending on the genre/trope, and that also includes when they’re pure fluff and the angst that maybe would’ve happened in the actual show is cut down or cut out. Sure I’ll notice when Lucas or another character says something I could never hear canon Lucas say, but overall as long as the character has enough traits from Lucas, whether it’s more from soft Lucas or more from fiery Lucas, I’ll just take that as the writer using their freedom to make the tweaks to the characters that they wish for their story. With that being said, when it comes to the canon characters themselves and the way they’re created and presented in the show (and this is in general not just in Skam France, but definitely also in Skam France), I completely agree with you. Alot of people do want their favorite characters to be morally pure and fully woke, but that has never been Lucas or Eliott and personally I don’t know anybody in the real world who are perfect in that way either. 

To me personally a well-rounded and well-developed character is a character that on some level feels real and relatable, rather than a character that always pose as an example for the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. The latter will, to me personally, make them feel less real, well-rounded and relatable because nobody has the ideal response to every situation they’re put in. People do mess up and they mess up often, whether it’s in what they say or what they do. People also do grow and change and learn but that takes time. I won’t recognize any real human I know in a character that always does and says the right thing. That’s not to say that every character with flaws is a great character (examples of characters I personally don’t think are well-crafted, relatable or likable on any level are Charles from Skam France and, from the little I’ve seen of her, Kato from Wtfock). I think the key to creating a great character is giving them a combination of flaws and pleasant traits that make them either interesting or lovable or both, in a way that fit with the role they’re supposed to play in the story, whether it’s as an antagonist or a protagonist or something in between. 

What makes Lucas so lovable to me is the combination of him being hot-tempered and passionate and him also being very emotional and incredibly soft and sweet with the people he loves. He wears any emotion on his sleeve, whether it’s sadness or joy, anger or love. He’ll demand an explaination about Lucille multiple times until he gets one, but when he knows it’s Eliott and him he’ll turn into a softie who demands kisses every other minute and buys Eliott flowers and croissants when he’s not feeling well. He’ll lose his temper and he’ll sometimes say ignorant things as we saw in both S3 and in the newer seasons, but he’ll also apologize for things he say, as we saw both with Arthur, Lola and Chloe. Lucas is to me the perfect example of a character with a lovable combination of positive traits and flaws. 

My one big complaint about Lucas and Eliott’s parts of S5 and S6 is not that they were ruined in any way, it’s that I feel like the writers started an arc on screen that didn’t get a good conclusion on screen. They introduced insecurities for both Lucas and Eliott that we got to see them discuss with others (Imane, Arthur, Lola) but never with each other. We actually saw Eliott very rarely in S5 and Lucas very rarely in S6, but when we did see Lucas in S5 it was partly for the part of the storyline where Arthur felt left out and in S6 it was basically to set up the club-incident towards the end of the season (that he understandably got upset about), and in both S5 and S6 his tendency to get angry and speak before thinking (that always has been there) got a bit more focus on screen than his soft and sweet side (although it was still present), but that doesn’t mean that his soft side isn’t there just as much as before. To me that is a problem in the writing and storytelling with them prioritizing showing the angst a lot more than the happy or healing moments, instead of having a better balance, but it did by no means ruin Eliott, Lucas or Elu for me. I saw enough in S3 to fully believe that the conversations that needed to happen did happen or will happen, and sometimes conversations between them were referenced but not shown on screen, like when Lucas told Lola at the video-store that Eliott had explained her and Eliott’s relationship to him.

I think it’s important to acknowledge that Skam is always gonna be frustrating with things like this because of the one POV per season thing. Conversations that we would very much like to see will take place off screen when the main isn’t there, we did for example not see Isak and Even talk about Mikael and Isak’s jealousy or Noora and William talk about their drama in S4, we were always told about this through Sana, and the people we did see Lucas and Eliott discuss their insecurities with in S4-S6 were always the mains of their respective seasons. But the thing with Skam France is that they did break the POV for the Fifi-clip or Basile and Daphne talking during S5, so it’s hard not to wish that they could’ve done that here. I also wanna add that when I say I wish they gave Lucas and Eliott’s arc in S5 and S6 a good conclusion I don’t mean Lucas and Eliott getting rid of their insecurities so they’ll never be a potential cause of conflict ever again, because I don’t think insecurities work like that. I don’t think being in a loving relationship for a year will take those insecurities away. As I said earlier, growth takes time, and deep-rooted insecurities are certainly no exception to that.

Anyway, this got long and ranty and I’m sorry about that, but the bottomline is this: I definitely agree with you that there seems to be a huge need in for beloved characters to remain as morally pure and woke as possible in the fandom in order for them not be concidered “ruined”. In reality the flaws we saw in both Lucas and Eliott in S5 and S6 were, in my opinion, very much present in S3, I think they were very much in character, but the difference is that now we only got small glimpses of the characters, their words and their actions, they were not the main focus and we didn’t get to see them up close with all of their qualities explored the way we got in S3. We only got what we got in those glimpses, and sometimes that was a glimpse of Lucas and Eliott doing or saying something they shouldn’t have, but that doesn’t mean all the good qualities of them as characters and as a couple disappeared, we simply didn’t get to see the full picture on screen the way we did in S3. In S5 and S6 I had some issues with the storytelling for Elu, just like I did for other characters, but to me personally the characters and the couple were by no means ruined.

[tiredbiostudent]

Hi! Could you maybe recommend some music, I keep listening to the same three songs and would love to find something new, doesn't have to be a specific genre. Also, you're blog is wonderful!

omg this is so sweet my heart is 🥺 rn but also, idk how much I can help because I also genuinely will listen to one song for an entire week straight and haven’t had a ton of time to find new music lately! but here’s some genre breakdowns of artists I love and some songs by them, or just individual tunes:

[edit: sorry this got insanely long!! I can maybe link spotify playlists if I ever get around to making some ‘:) but tl;dr my fave artists are frank ocean, sigrid, hozier, ben howard, cezinando, khalid, childish gambino, nas, lorde, the lumineers, rhcp, girl in red and travis scott]

1. guitar/rock indie-arcade fire: neighbourhood #3, the well and the lighthouse, we exist, afterlife, the suburbs, ready to start, SUBURBAN WAR!! (listen to the entire suburbs album if you want to feel rlly nostalgic about ur childhood)-ben howard (my favourite artist ever, I saw him live and it was phenomenal): rivers in your mouth, time is dancing, I forget where we were, only love, black flies, oats in the water, she treats me well, towing the line, follaton wood-rhcp (long time fave): under the bridge, by the way, californiacation, scar tissue, otherside, goodbye angels, dani California, snow (hey oh), tell me baby-city and colour (another old fave who I’ve also seen live and is amazing!! if you like hozier and the lumineers you’d like him, a bit of a less intense sound though): sleeping sickness, what makes a man, waiting…, constant knot, the golden state, killing time, wasted love, runaway, map of the world, blood, the grand optimist :’), northern wind, hello I’m in delaware-the scientist by coldplay.. if u haven’t been emo about this song since 2003 wyd-haven’t listened to her in forever but cosmic love by florence + the machine >>-girl in red (her music is great but her LYRICS r literally my soul): i wanna be your girlfriend, summer depression, i need to be alone, 4am, girls, say anything, bad idea, i’ll die anyway, we fell in love in october-harry styles: adore you, fine line, golden, sunflower vol. 6, sweet creature, lights up, to be so lonely, sign of the times, HIS COVER OF ULTRALIGHT BEAM-hozier (ANOTHER fave, fucking insane live too. sir ily): work song, in the woods somewhere, sedated, cherry wine, almost (sweet music) [song equivalent to a warm summer evening], movement !! holy f-, as it was, be, wasteland baby!-broken by lovelytheband-the lumineers (my guys!!!!): cleopatra, sleep on the floor, angela, long way from home, sick in the head, my eyes, white lie, donna, salt and the sea, slow it down, stubborn love-where’s my love by syml-mitski: washing machine heart, old friend, nobody, lonesome love-sam roberts band: bridge to nowhere, brother down, if you want it-saturn by sleeping at last-sufjan stevens: mystery of love, visions of Gideon (I don’t stan cmbyn but literally these two songs are the only thing I listened to from dec 2017 to feb 2018), the hidden river of my life, futile devices, Vesuvius-love will tear us apart cover by susanna and the magical orchestra-vance joy: mess is mine, Georgia, my kind of man, Saturday sun, we’re going home, lay it on me, take your time, I’m with you !!, like gold, crashing into you-remember when by wallows !!!

2. chill indie/pop-billie eilish: idontwannabeyouanymore, ilomilo, my strange addiction, bury a friend-cezinando (also my fave artist, and noen ganger is probs my fave album of all time): ingenting blir det samme men samme for meg, selv du, haper du har plass (if u can make it thru this song w/o crying on public transportation you are much stronger than I), tommolen pa vekta, er dette alt, usynlig-sigrid (the LOML and my other fave artist- seeing her live was the best day of my life no cap): dynamite, plot twist, fake friends, strangers,  don’t feel like crying, raw, focus, I don’t want to know, her cover of sex by the 1975 changed my life fr, mine right now, BASIC !!!!!, in vain, never mine [this is highkey bc I’m a bonafide sigrid stan but I cannot recommend her ENOUGH she has one of the most incredible voices ever, is an insanely talented songwriter, and her music is so hype and beautiful and yeah :’)]-khalid (I love his voice sm, also the ceo of vibes): bad luck, cold blooded, 8teen, my bad, better, hundred, Saturday nights, suncity-run by elsa and emilie-lorde (my bby): bravado, buzzcut season, the love club, the louvre, supercut, 400 lux, ribs, white teeth teens, a world alone-fy faen by hkeem & temur (have been listening to this song for 3 yrs straight no cap)-btstu by jai paul-8896 by lapsley-joji: slow dancing in the dark, will he-moon by kid francesoli-aloha by mome (another all time fave)-karpe diem: hvite menn som pusher 50, lett a vaere rebell i kjellerleiligheten din, gunerius, spis din syvende sans-astrid s: 2AM matoma remix (one of my fave songs ever tbh), hurts so good !!!, such a boy-myth by beachhouse -mgmt: kids, electric feel-nostalgi 3millioner by tomine harket & unge Ferrari -lykke li: sex money feelings die (did I listen to this song for 5 months straight last year? hm), I follow rivers-one direction (ofc): story of my life, 18, night changes, drag me down, literally all of Take Me Home which is unequivocally their best album I will take no criticism on that-berlin by ry x-dancing with a stranger by sam smith and normani-taylor swift (not rlly a fan but wowww some of her songs): call it what you want !!!!, false god, begin again, all you had to do was stay, clean-kamikaze by Susanne sundfor-tame impala: let it happen (the og and the soulwax remix), the less I know the better, gossip-head over heels by tears for fears-somebody else by the 1975 (apparently I was the only one who only discovered this song in 2019 but it’s like all I listened to from October-December)

3. rap & rnb-brockhampton: rental !!!, face, bleach, sweet-childish gambino: ii. zealots of stockholm, heartbeat, les, the “hardbone with a hard r” remix of bonfire and redbone drooooool-drake (yikes dude but ngl. chill bops): feel no ways, u with me?, hold on we’re going home, passionfruit, you and the 6-vince staples: bagbak, lift me up, norf norf-frank ocean (LOML frank I’d die for you. also my fave artist *proceeds to list his entire discography*): SEIGFRIED!!!!, songs 4 women, nights, chanel, ivy, thinkin bout you, sweet life, pyramids, lost, bad religion, pink matter, forrest gump, in my room, swim good, dust, american wedding, provider-jorja smith: blue lights, february 3rd, on your own-ransom by lil tecca-nas (fave to end all faves): take it in blood, represent, the message, halftime, affirmative action, street dreams, one love, hate me now, cherry wine, new world-mobb deep: hell on earth, survival of the fittest, party over, shook ones pt ii-travis scott: (astroworld is the only thing I listened to summer-fall 2018 no cap) astrothunder, coffee bean, Yosemite, butterfly effect, houstonfornication, skeletons, stop trying to be god, stargazing, highest in the room-kanye (don’t roast me for this): can’t tell me nothing, ultralight beam, fade, hold my liquor-drip too hard by lil baby-(all a product of tiktok) bop, toes, suge, panini remix by da baby-migos (lmao): notice me, slippery, pure water-walk man by tmg sfdjhfkdjfsdfs-go loko by YG-the weeknd: reminder, as you are, hurt you, privilege, tell your friends, starboy, sidewalks, high for this

(I also love old school rock music but haven’t listened to it much since highschool- my fave bands are led zeppelin, CCR, boston, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, blue oyster cult, styx, the who)

[theskyexists]

The Timeless Children

I hated everything about this.

Like - EVERYTHING.

1. The companions had nothing to do with the Doctor the whole episode and contributed literally nothing to her story - they didn't even SAVE HER BECAUSE SHE SAVED HERSELF. They somehow find her in the centre of the ruins after they have a ‘touching’ moment about willing to risk their lives to save her - but they come into the room JUST after it’s become completely irrelevant - it was like a fucking PARODY.  They never even learned what the fuck was up with her. Yaz gets nothing in return for her classic faith in the Doctor - this is worse than fucking Martha. And still no hugs - loveless. COMPLETELY LOVELESS.

2. There was zero suspense. Zero. Who CARES about the mystery of the Timeless Child and their society if the Time Lords are fucking dead. Who CARES about the companions being in danger when they’re in a completely separate plot - like - COMPLETELY. I thought the Doctor trying to bargain her life for theirs was a juicy line - too bad it meant NOTHING - had NO impact whatsoever. Half of this episode was pure exposition dump?

3. Why was this the Master show? - he just talked for 30 minutes (I think it might genuinely have been 30 ACTUAL minutes) while the Doctor said NOTHING - even Sasha Dhawan can’t carry that off???? I can’t believe that Chibs had me get bored of Sasha’s performance???? HOW. It was so repetitive - truth truth truth. I’m so weepy - I’m so mad - I’m so clever. Oh I’ve broken you - yep I’ve broken you. Why is there even the fuckin assumption?? I could not parse why this would be SO devastating to anyone that Chibs would hang the whole plot and emotional arc on this. Literally immobilising the Doctor and making her mute K.O.’d their INCREDIBLE chemistry. JEzus Christ.

4. This episode went: weapons are good though. Use bombs and guns!

5. ‘You can’t pretend to be cybermen for ANY amount of time’ - yet somehow they manage to masquerade as cybermen to such an extent that they can join a platoon, teleport down, shoot at people, and kill the cybermen remaining. Well why didn’t anyone else think of this???

6. Reduced cybermen down to - armour that you can fuckin PUT ON?????

7. NO attempt at body horror was made even when there was the opportunity. Human remains? we see nothing of the Cybermen’s previous humanity and their nature as victims. No threat of conversion for any of the companions. This was possibly the least scary chib episode yet and that says something.

8. If Ryan had lobbed a bomb at Yaz and Graham they would have been DEAD.

9. Why kill that girl when she should know that Cybermen don’t even falter at gunfire so how can she provide ‘cover’ lol

10. Needless explanation and repetition resulting in ZERO suspense.  The Master explaining that he sent the Doctor those visions - useless minutiae. The Doctor retreading everything the Master has just told the audience - making her seem dumb and making me FEEL like he thinks I’m fuckin dumb.

11. Completely anticlimactic end for the Lone Cyberman.

12. The Doctor did not start out a rebel - did not start out looking at the stars going: ah....I want to go there. They interfered because they had been primed for it by years of working for the ‘Division’ - they weren’t a rebel who wanted to see more and then realised they could actually do good - in defiance of the conservative society they were part of. No. They’d been the Doctor even before Ian called One that. Well that cool and wonderful theory of being Named and taught by humans can go out the window.

13. First, the particle would destroy all life in the universe. Then - suddenly - as though they rewrote the script while they were filming - it would only destroy all life on the planet. Right.

14. Why even MENTION that nobody can enter the TARDIS in this very series if you end it on the fucking JUDOON!!!! JUDOON!!!! teleporting in.

15. It was repeatedly said that the Cybermen can ‘read’ human lifesigns but not uhhhhhh when it’s inconvenient I guess.

16. Is Tec-Teun Rassilon? Because I didn’t get the sense that the Time Lords’ rise to power on the back of their seemingly harmless genetic splicing was presented as a bad thing per se. So what the fuck is the issue. The Master was just mad that the Doctor was essential to the creation of his being. Ok. I guess there was no moral argument behind it or anything. They didn’t deserve to get wiped out - it really was just a lunatic who somehow gained the power to destroy one of the greatest civilisations ever (which is certainly also never explained).

17. Still no idea where Missy and her character development fits in this. Apparently this Gallifrey destruction wasn’t because of anything clever like that the Master learned from the Doctor and obliterated the Time Lords for being quite particularly evil by their new rules - no he just...... killed them because his ego got hurt? right.

18. Somehow not a single cyberman notices them disassembling 5 cybermen making a lots of noise - not even the fucking CYBERIUM - the hub of all strategic fuckin cyberknowledge or whatever - apparently they haven’t thought of sensors and AI interfaces being able to use them when plugged into a damn ship yet in the far future. Nobody notices them boarding, planting bombs, running away. None of the Cybermen can shoot straight. What a fuckin threat.

19. The Doctor really just needed a goddamn peptalk from her way more Doctor-ish past self to blow the Matrix out? That sequence was pretty fucking shit-looking. And then the emotional resolution is that she’s totally ok with being more than she remembers? Oh ok. ‘You’re afraid - not me!’ OK?? Why? Why? Would the Master have expected the Doctor to respond like it’s some awful truth. Ok the founders lied bc the Time Kid got out of control but then they lost track of them again? I mean yikes they suck. Isn’t the goddamn emotional punch really that their people are dead - again?? Dead??? forever??? what about its children??? what about the horror and the guilt and - does none of that matter any more? Guess we have another Dimension to travel to to see where the Doctor actually came from. Old conflictual but significant relationship with ‘home’ ended- mysterious dimension is the Doctor’s home now.

20. The end implies that the Doctor wasn’t hesitating to kill the Master, the last remains of the Time Lords and every single living thing on her home planet - she was just hesitating to kill herself. I said Chibnall had no moral intelligence but - he truly does not understand the Doctor in any way!? I cannot express how much I despise this. This was worse than mediocre it was fucking CRIMINAL. And it wasn’t even a triumph - it wasn’t even a defeat of the fuckin Master either (and who even CARES about Ko Sharmus????).

I lied I liked four things:

1. Graham and Yaz having their heart to heart.

2. Ginger-haired Brandon being the Doctor. That was a great visual parallel.

3. The overall backstory to the start of the Time Lords was like - fine. I prefer mythological backstories to be nebulous. But alright. Put the focus on the ability to regenerate instead of time travelling - ok, that makes sense - sure - whatever. All the diversity was pretty beautiful too.

4. At least the Master got choked this time (jfc chibnall - can you write NO other shorthand for the willingness to use deadly force???)

[bloojayoolie]

Alive, Apparently, and Children: write-it-motherfuckers Person A: "Have you ever tasted human flesh before?" Person B: "Do you want me to answer that truthfully?" hetalian801 I'd try it tbh if it was legal write-it-motherfuckers You'd be surprised how many would. princess-peridot It's technically not illegal. There are just no legal ways to get human flesh. write-it-motherfuckers Not illegal where you are at least. thingsthatcouldbewritingprompts just eat your own skin cowards write-it-motherfuckers That's not how it works. shirashipz Imean.. if someone else killed the person... then can I eat the flesh? write-it-motherfuckers Apparently if it's in the us, then you only need permission from the person. I'm not sure about elsewhere. shirashipz Cool Wait... If I'm not human... Then am I allowed to eat humanS? It's not canabalism if I'm not hooman write-it-motherfuckers Legally I don't believe so unfortunately Darling. hetalian801 Is it legal if you get someone else to kill for you write-it-motherfuckers No. hetalian801 oH WELL my-smol-universe It's not illegal if you're into vore with consent... Or if nobody realizes it. Well, whatever suits you better. write-it-motherfuckers 1H regret starting this entire conversation acornspice Adding onto this in case no one knew of this.... But flesh harvesting is real Human leather exists. Look it up. They make wallets write-it-motherfuckers Sounds immensely shady, and no I totally didn't instantly want a leather art journal jayxtheomniverse You can buy various body parts on the black market. Skin goes for an average of $10 per square inch. rivkae-winters Everyone has thought about it at some point, we live in a horror filled environment l'm pretty sure l'm not the only one who started reading steven king in middle school or thinks that 'blood red' is a legitimately pretty color.(l'm surprised I haven't already done insomnia fueled research on that black market) But really, I love how this entire chain just ignores(or doesn't know about- ignorance is not a sin but learning is a virtue) the fact that prion diseases exist. Now for some admittedly scary or at least off putting science things What is a prion disease? In layman's terms its just a misfolded protein or a LOT of misfolded proteins (remember from any bio class form-function so if a protein is misfolded it will not preform the correct function or any function at all sometimes) and one of the way humans can get them if it is not genetic like FFI (Fatal Familial Insomnia) is cannibalism! Now for my all time favorite piece of nightmare fuel ever: introducing Kuru! Kuru was first scene in epidemic proportions in the Fore Tribe's population during the 1950's and 1960's when there long practice of having women and young children (those of pure souls to cleanse the dead one's souls) ritualistically eat the dead at funerals caught up to them. Of course not everyone died immediately and Kuru's incubation period is almost scary to me with how much it varies and how long it is you could either start having symptoms a year from consumption or 60! And the symptoms are what really creeps me out and fascinates me about this disease. The symptoms often start(or start being noticeable)with tremors(hence the name 'kuru' as the word for 'to shake' in the native language of the Fore people is Kuria or Guria), limb pain, a difficulty walking or with coordination can precede the tremors as many people who had the disease may have already been quite old as the incubation period is so long. Elderly age can also somewhat account for slurred speech though not really. Then it gets terrifying and weird really quickly as you start to loose control of your emotions with compulsive laughing, crying, and mood swings at random intervals. You also loose the ability to grasp objects but that pales in comparison to the random laughing that gives Kuru the epithet 'the laughing disease What causes these symptoms? Well Kuru literally eats your gray matter alive causing it to resemble a cratered sponge more than a piece of the human brain! What about a cure? You might ask. There is none! In fact, according to: Disease's Daily [further research does back this up but doesn't state it as clearly] The best cure is prevention- aka it might be rare but just don't consume human flesh or human flesh bi-products! For a nice and full explanation with all the interesting and weird details: NIH (National institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke) has one that more info on prions the important stuff in a bit more detail. includes in general the Prion Alliance has a page talking about human prion diseases in general and a more general prion info page. The CDC also has lots of info available if you want to know more write-it-motherfuckers You have no idea how excited I am that someone brought it up. I've been waiting for it. Thank you for sharing it with us Darling- eviternalexhaustion Reblogging for the prion part bc im a science nerd and have always found prions interesting my-smol-universe Nevermind. My friends, listen to smart people. Don't eat your family. We don't want you to suddenly laugh at their funeral. It's not worth the risk. happygamingbubbleswith memes Okay, I have to say, that part about the Piron disease and Kuru interested me. What can I say? I love this kind of mess! #long post #motherfucking chain post 2,640 notes Remember, It’s Not Cannibalism If They’re Not Human

[sizzleitupwithmaria]

the challenge is on, foolish mortal

1. how tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches

2. what is your body type?

i’m shaped like an hourglass but i’m also a lil chubby

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

i occasionally like my face and this is a little bit weird but i have pretty good tits

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yep!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy

dude i’m shy af

6. are you more femme or butch?

i’m a pretty solid futch

7. are you tol or smol?

i’m tol bitch!!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

i feel like i’m a vodka aunt, but i’m also 14 and don’t commit crimes

9. weird habit?

i stick my tongue out whenever i’m super focused and i used to be really self conscious about it

10. favorite meme?

my current favorite is the shen yun memes but i don’t have an all time favorite

11. do you sing in the shower?

no bc the bathroom is right next to my parent’s bedroom :):):)

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

yeah i was in girl scouts for a while

13. are you/were you a theater kid?

see basically all of my vent posts and you’ll find the answer (i’m in a weird relationship with theater right now, but we’ll have to see how sophomore year turns out)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

yeah!! i’m also seeing another one in 112 days lol

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

some are, but that doesn’t make them bad

16. have you ever been part of a protest or a march?

yeah, i went to march for our lives last year!!

17. favorite cards against humanity card?

i don’t actually own or play CAH, but i like “Bees.”

18. last movie you watched?

newsies, but that was only to grab screenshots lol (maura will know)

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

both!!

20. favorite tv show?

uhhhhh frasier? 

21. meaning behind your url

sizzle it up with taako is a taz reference

22. reason you joined tumblr

i have no fucking idea bc it was so long ago

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

i’d say @baura-bear but i’ve also known her irl for 8 years? i don’t actually have any purely tumblr friends, feel free to hmu

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

most foods

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

considering that i had to look up what that meant, the answer is no

26. have you ever had sex?

i’m 14

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or anything bad?

nope, i lead a pretty boring life (i’d actually sneak out quite often if my bedroom wasn’t on the second floor)

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

i’ve told my dad that i love him before

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

i’m currently at a crossroads with it and it’s pretty stressful for me rn but i’m committed to getting better and not crying daily over it

30. describe your best friend

i don’t actually think i have a solid enough relationship with anyone to have a best friend lol

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows

OH UHHHH i pop my acne?? that might be obvious if you look at my face tho

32. how do you feel right now?

pretty solid, i have a little bit of a headache and i’m a bit sad but i’m doing okay

33. what is your biggest fear?

failure, but that’s probably just bc i set so high expectations for myself lol

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

breakfast in america by supertramp

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

maybe quitting band and strings in 5th grade or quitting track

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

OH YEAH but we’re not gonna talk about that right now

37. something you fantasize about

i always dream of living in a tiny nyc apartment with a beautiful wife and working at some nondescript company and shopping in my free time

38. last time you cried and why

??? i actually don’t know. i nearly cried last night bc my dad was nearly yelling at me, we’re not gonna get into that though

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

i put a stupid snapchat filter on my face

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking about anything with?

my own self?? i have trust issues lol

42. the last time you felt broken?

maybe this morning just bc i had a weird dream and was processing it lol

43. are you starting to realize anything?

yeah

44. are you more dom or sub?

sub, but just in general, i haven’t ever had sex

45. i’ll only date you if _____

you’re a woman? i don’t have many standards lol

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

okay this question is probably geared more towards adults but as a freshman, i’m fine with dating sophomores and juniors, and maybe 8th graders?? that’s a little iffy though

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail

ummm i’m not sure if it’s a crush anymore but she’s tall, skinny, had black hair that she dyes often but it never shows, she dresses similar to me, she’s a photographer, and i think she might be into me :/

48. do you have any kinks?

yes but i’ll never tell anybody even if they paid me money

49. first thing you notice in a person?

uhhh their outfit?

50. how can someone win your heart?

by loving me a lot and dealing with my weird personality

51. been rejected by a crush?

i’ve only asked a crush out once and that went pretty well so no

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

yes, who hasn’t?

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

nope

54. is trust a big issue for you?

is the sky blue?

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

nope, we’ve been meaning to for a while though

56. is confidence cute?

sometimes, just don’t be weird to other people

57. what would you say if the person you like kissed another person?

i wouldn’t care LMAO

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

probably not

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

maybe?? my interactions with her have been a blur lmao

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

oh yeah

61. do you want to get married?

yes, but purely to flex the fact that i can get gay married

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

idk probably self harmed

63. three things that turn you on

1. women

2. women

3. women

64. who do you hate?

nobody, really

65. favorite term of endearment?

sweetheart/love GET ME EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! if i ever write some romance y’all will see

66. who was your gay awakening?

idk if you count this as a gay awakening but once when i was like four i said to my dad “if i could marry anyone, i’d marry sarah” (one of my friends) (holy shit i just got kind of sad remembering her i liked her a lot and she had a cool family i need to see if she has an ig)

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

both at the same time

68. what do you look for in a possible partner

women

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

tbh the only styles that are off the table for me are hyper masculine and hyper feminine, anyone else is great

70. are you good at flirting?

i don’t have the confidence to flirt lol

71. who was the first person you came out to?

my friends ellie and lilli, at the same time, on accident

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

the question is do i have friends that aren’t wlw 

73. is your crush wlw?

i believe so

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

this one junior boy who.... oh boy... he’s not hot at all but he’s so nice to literally everyone

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

i don’t feel like i’m attached enough to my crush to write a poem to them

76. do you fall in love easily?

i think so

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

oh hell yeah, at least i think so

79. are you a forgiving person?

depends on what the person did

80. what is your type?

i don’t really have one? being taller than me is nice

81. fall asleep in her arms or tub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

both, with a preference for the first one

82. tall girls or short girls?

TOL

83. hugs or kisses

both, especially at the same time

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

both!!

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

tummy!! thigh kisses are a bit too close to the pussy for my taste

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

hairline

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both!!!!!!!!!

88. making our or soft kisses

soft kisses

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

both, it just depends on the situation

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

probably 80%

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

idk if i ever blush but i have to REALLY like someone to get butterflies

92. have you ever likes a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

i have multiple times but i’ve only told someone once

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

11 or 12

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

idk, i tend to forget those things

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

i honestly don’t ship many lesbians lmao. can i count my own ocs? bc julia and emily are great

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

i don’t think i’ve actually had anything negative said about my sexuality directly to me, so i’m a bit lucky

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

i honestly have no idea

98. what is love to you?

when we make each other happy

99. ask me anything

i mean my ask is always open if anyone wants to do this

thanks for listening to me be super gay and sad for a little bit

[aw-tryagain]

Wow

People really don’t like hearing the truth about what they do and it shows. How can y’all misinterpret what I was saying THAT badly??

Like this was just my final straw I am done with the fandom. Y’all are all so damn ignorant and petty. Y’all will literally hate on someone for doing what you do! How does that make sense?! I’m just tired of y’all and have been for such a long time now and have been less and less involved in this fandom as time went on because I too began to notice things about how yall act and treat each other and yes y’all really are all so fake and after this whole shit show I just can’t do it anymore. Lol like I knew twilight was shitty but there were still a lot of things I loved about the series and I saw so much potential in it and I recognized the shitty parts and also tried to change them to make it better and that’s what a lot of people or pretty much everyone does in this fandom, but y’all just don’t recognize the shitty parts. Y’all try to excuse it. Especially when it comes to the main characters. Y’all will literally jump through hoops to excuse or just flat out ignore Alices racism and how she treats Bella. Y’all will excuse/flat out ignore Edwards fucked up abusive actions towards Bella yet will turn around and vilify Jacob for kissing her without her permission and guilt tripping/manipulating her too. Yall vehemently hate the shit out of Jacob (and are sometimes really racist about it) and will make posts/headcnons/au’s of the cullens beating him up a native brown boy for basically doing to Bella what they literally do to her through the entire series, take away her bodily autonomy and choices and manipulate her. Yall make posts about old white racist people literally beating up a 16 year old Native American boy and jack off to that shit and be racist all while y’alls precious whites can do anything they want to Bella because nothing the Cullens ever do is wrong. Y’all are literally playing right into the hands of that racist author SM and what she wanted and what she pushed so hard in the series you’d have to be blind not to see.. and you don’t see it.

Y’all still perpetuate the bs Meyer pushed and are all so ignorant because Jacob wasn’t like that at first and was never supposed to be like that. Meyer ruins every character she touches ESPECIALLY when it comes to poc but instead of looking at that y’all would rather act like assholes and treat people who like these characters and want to remake them in their own image like shit. Yet you all want people to stop calling you racist for loving and excusing Jaspers time in the confederacy and let you all redeem him and his actions. There was a whole fandom fight about this exact thing when someone called out the racist shit these people were doing regarding Jacob and the Cullens and guess what y’all did? Y’all tried to not only defend what y’all were doing but also tried to defend the fact that Jasper was a literal confederate soldier. Like, Jasper was one of my favorite characters but that doesn’t excuse what he was. You people are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met. Y’all can make excuses for Jasper being a confederate and say “oh well he learned from that! He’s not a racist!” and y’all can make headcanons trying to redeem him but don’t seem to wanna redeem him from the problematic things he does in the series to this day which y’all seem to always leave out and forget. Y’all can say “oh Meyers and idiot! She didn’t know what she was doing! Jasper should have been a union soldier!” and all types of shit but nobody can do the same for Jacob who was actually fucked over by Meyer and made to do problematic things not only because he was the rival but also because Meyer loves making poc the villains all the time? How can y’all not see that?

Y’all make excuses up the wall for the precious Cullens fucked up actions and will gladly blame the author and not the character for it and will attack anyone who thinks otherwise but when it comes to anyone else? especially poc? It’s time to hate them and treat them and anyone who likes them and tries to actually redeem them from their racist biased author, like shit. It’s funny how we’re supposed to love the confederate soldier who willingly fought for slavery and quickly rose through the ranks in the army and seems proud of that fact when recalling it in Eclipse and he’s just so smart and practical and calculative and is such a great leader and thinks things through and is able to convince others easily and get them to follow him because he’s so charming but we’re also supposed to feel bad for him and hate the Mexican woman who “manipulated” him and lied to him and of course she’s painted as some kind of evil seductress who manipulates the poor defenseless mindless white man that we all must coddle. I italicized those words bc that is supposed to be his characterization. People who are calculative and smart and good leaders aren’t so easily manipulated and aren’t so easily trusting, and don’t fall for one obvious lie for 100 years! Idc what anyone says nobody can keep up a simple ass lie for that long especially when with just a little more thought put into it, the lie can be debunked so easily bc the truth is right there. Also in the end he had the power. He could do what he wanted with his own body and he chose to do what he did. We’re not gonna blame the woman for the actions of the man. Yes she had a part in it and influencing it but there is no way he couldn’t have felt the deception and do nothing about it or at least feel some type of way about it. If he’s so strong and powerful and dangerous and controlled all those newborns and is so much stronger and better than María why didn’t he stage an uprising or something? Don’t give me that “he didn’t know what he was doing” excuse. It’s the same tired ass excuse y’all use for him being apart of the confederation and it makes no sense. He was able to think for himself (and apparently has a strong smart vampire brain) and do for himself and literally had power over himself and others. This is literally me saying that the shit doesn’t add up from what we know from canon. It doesn’t make sense and I’m calling out the plot holes and why it doesn’t make any sense and why it should be taken with a grain of salt. Because it’s bullshit.

This is NOT me saying “men can’t be abused” or some other shit y’all want to put into my mouth. Like you guys do all the time. But of course he didn’t actively choose to make any of those decisions and act upon it on his own, no it’s all the woman (Maria’s) fault for every single thing he did. He was completely mindless and stupid and didn’t stop to think about anything once. I am in NO way saying that María wasn’t wrong for the lie that she told him or the manipulation or whatever it’s definitely wrong but it’s also unfair that she is the only being hated for it when the main characters do the same shit?! Yet everyone ignores it because it’s not abuse when they lie and manipulate. It’s unfair that people who like her and see the error in the way she was created and want to change that or whatever and ship her with Jasper get hate for it yet you guys can do the exact same thing with your faves and their issues? THATS WHAT IM CALLING OUT! I’m not mad bc y’all “don’t ship abuse” I’m mad because you’re all hypocrites and you all fail to see it. It’s said that she did lie and manipulation and it’s “implied” as abuse and people take that little bit of info and run with it (like they do a lot) and make it out like María is the worst person ever to walk the earth and was lying to him constantly about every little thing ever and was sexually abusing him and was physically beating him even tho NONE of this is EVER stated in canon. Y’all vilify the shit out of her (the hate gets so bad I’ve seen people literally act like she’s dirty and impure and beneath compared to the special white savior and all bc she’s the manipulative colored rival and that’s ANOTHER place where the racist undertones come to play.) bc Meyer painted them as this turbulent problematic relationship with the bad colored promiscuous sexually deviant woman and then Jasper finds a pure white woman and they have the bestest, healthiest relationship ever. They don’t tho. Alice lies to him too. Alice lies to him a lot in the saga and actively keeps things from him. Alice talks down to him and teams up with Edward and is on his side all the time to treat him like a child and basically act like he’ll never be as good as them when it comes to bloodlust (Edward legit says this shit about him but yeah this family is sooo loving and they believe in him soo much blow me.) She kicks him and stomps on his foot when he has thoughts or does something that isn’t ~Cullen like~ and that’s okay? That’s supportive? Jasper himself manipulates her emotions without her permission and tells her to not worry about important people that are supposed to be “family” and manhandles her when she had that vision and this is supposed to be so much better? This is supposed to be one of the best relationships in the saga because ~mates~ and tru wuv?! Their whole courtship and mating doesn’t even make a lick of sense why would he go into a diner? full of people? Especially if he was hungry?! That doesn’t make sense! How could she have possibly had a vision of him? and then automatically assumed she was supposed to be his ~mate~ that makes even less sense, and they’re incompatible and are pretty scummy to each other but it’s disguised as pure mated mystical love, by Meyer.

We’re supposed to like it and it’s supposed to be great but it’s not and I don’t because I see holes and I’m not falling for Meyers bullshit excuses to cover her own ass; we know Meyer has a problem with showing vs. telling but we also know she has a problem with making things that are supposed to be good look terrible. but his relationship with the big bad Mexican is the one that’s completely wrong and supposed to be feared? He has more in common with said Mexican woman and pretty much acts just like her! He went along with her and what she wanted and didn’t stop and think about what the fuck he was doing and he’s known to do this in canon because he literally said that he did the same thing with Alice. He was made to feel powerful and capable even if what he was doing wasn’t morally sound. Also omg over time they eventually began to have some real feelings for each other from their little relationship they had on the side or whatever and to this day they’re still friends with each other and Jasper thinks about her from time to time and wishes her well. They actually GREW to be friends and actually had some kind of development and progress in their relationship. Their okay with each other now even with their turbulent past and Jasper doesn’t hate her. Like at all and you mean to tell me that’s bad? It’s just horribly abusive and people have no right to ship it or even like it and/or indulge in it because they may see some potential with what Meyer did with them and want to build on that and improve it??? We ALL know Meyer creates a lot of things, characters, plot points with soo much potential but always ruins it and people in fandom see that and want to change it and love it and bring out that potential but when it comes to certain characters and ships (mainly involving poc) that’s off limits? Yet y’all do the same thing with yalls boring ass white canon characters and ships or just ignore the ships/characters issues in general??? But feel like y’all got the right to play god and be all high and mighty and holier than thou and viciously attack people for doing what y’all want to do??

Now That’s a fucking joke.

Not only is it a joke it’s also unfair. Who tf are y’all to dictate what someone can and can’t like/indulge in??? and I love how everyone wants to claim “oh I don’t ship Edward/Bella Jasper/Alice etc... bullshit! All y’all do is talk about them and make headcanons and au’s and shit that’s what this fandom mostly consists of, quit fucking backtracking and lying. This doesn’t even begin to explain all things wrong with this hypocritical ass fandom but this rant is more so related to what just happened that was my last straw and made me leave that ignorant ass shitshow of a fandom.

You people read that whole passage that I wrote calling out unfair treatment and fucked up behavior and you STILL just watered it down to “oh they’re just mad because we don’t ship abuse” YES YALL DO! and that’s the problem!!! You guys HATE it when people talk shit about y’all and look down on y’all for liking twilight and tell y’all not to like it bc it’s riddled with abuse and manipulation regarding the main characters and you all come up with your own excuses and reasons (however valid or not they may be) for still liking and indulging in it and trying to fix. Yet you turn around and do the same thing to your own people in the fandom who only ask for/want the same thing y’all ask/want from twi-haters? I was calling out y’all hypocritical actions that is sometimes rooted in racism and how it’s fucked up! I was also calling out how y’all vehemently disrespected, mocked and attacked a real life human person and egged on the op for childishly being a dick to someone for no reason and you all made fun of them for VERY POLITELY requesting something Jasper/Maria related and yet y’all call yourselves nice and accepting? If you didn’t want to do it you could have just kindly told them that you didn’t want to do it. You didn’t have to make a joke moodboard post acting like you’re disgusted (funny how we all must be disgusted with the dirty impure Mexican lol) and the rest of y’all didn’t have to reblog it acting like op was so smart and funny and putting shit in the tags like “why do people ship them lol” “like grow a braincell pls” or “open ur mind” like y’all need to open your minds and realize y’all ain’t shit for that and it WRONG! It was RUDE! Wanna ask “why do people ship them” why do YOU ship shit like Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Victoria/James etc...?? Y’all collectively froth over Victoria and excuse her yet she did. the. exact. same. shit!! Albiet badly, but Come ON! now it’s suddenly okay and excuseable when you throw some white skin on it? Why do YOU even like TWILIGHT if it’s riddled with so much shit?! Racism, sexism, homophobia. If anyone needs to “grow a braincell” it’s y’all. Also yes, let’s attack people and call them dumb and stupid all for what they ship. That’s good. Yet y’all have been attacked your whole lives for liking twilight and can’t seem to make that connection. Once y’all get a little bit of recognition and power y’all wanna act exactly like the people that mistreated y’all to other innocent people that just want to be involved because they think you guys are cool. Y’all are so fucking backwards smh you people suck so fucking hard man.

Fuck the twilight fandom and fuck twilight. Y’all have ruined something I actually used to enjoy by being such nasty hypocritical turds about everything that isn’t white and popular and what you all like. You can’t be different or have different thoughts or unpopular opinions. Though y’all always say that you can, you can’t. The minute you even say anything about the Cullens that yall don’t like or the minute you ship anything that y’all don’t like, or have an opinion on a character or trope that y’all don’t like y’all get to shading and vague posting and mobbing up talking mad shit. You are all so damn fake and I hope and pray y’all get what’s coming to yall for being such nasty disgusting people and yes maybe I did come on a little too strong the first time and should have handled it better and spoken better and been more respectful but after being here for so many years and knowing y’all? That shit wouldn’t have worked. Y’all still would have reacted with viciousness and bullshit and miss the entire point. It’s what y’all constantly do. Look at what y’all do to people who politely ask for something you may not want to do??? If that’s how y’all react to innocent people then imma honestly pray for y’all. I repeat the same energy people give out and I repeated y’all nasty ass energy in my response and if you don’t like it you need to look at yourself and y’all need to stop pointing the fucking finger all the damn time. Grow the fuck up. Also if people really wanna insult me for writing PARAGRAPHS about shit YALL do? Not only is that the dumbest most useless fucking insult I’ve ever seen but it also reflects on y’all because of the simple fact that I have to write paragraphs calling out the shit y’all do and putting it in detail because y’all don’t know how to fucking read and comprehend shit, and YALL STILL MISSED MY POINT!!! That is... just wow. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Imagine being that dumb!

[foxghost]

hi here’s another instalment of “I stayed up too late reading 鎮魂, edition chapter 13 - 26

Zhu Hong spends maybe 3 days a month being half snake (anaconda?). She keeps raw sliced meat in the office freezer, thaws it out in the microwave and “eats them like potato chips”

She also has snake pupils and a snake tongue. /this novel has all your monster needs

Zhu Hong: if you’re willing to sleep with me one night, I’d work for free Zhao Yunlan (totally seriously): …really? Zhu Hong: … (can’t believe he’s actually considering it)

The “black cloak envoy” in the show is named one-who-slay-souls in the book, and is exponentially more terrifying

take what prisoners? Send whom to jail? kills all the things

Zhao Yunlan: he’s kind of nice actually, but talks like an academic, uses too many words to say one thing

A “hungry ghost” is a shadow that is thin all over except for the stomach, with a mouth that opens 180 degrees, with arms like a mantis

Shen Wei’s first reaction on seeing it is to pick up a chair and BASH IT UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING

Shen Wei: shocked face that the cat is talking Daqing: Yes right but you just broke the head of a hungry ghost with a chair so why are you even shocked

Guo (repeats in his head): I am a cop Guo: is crying uncontrollably * Guo (to Shen Wei): I haven’t even had my first month’s salary — can’t i even SEE the money I won’t live to spend before i die? Shen Wei says nothing to this because laughing at him is probably improper Guo: Does professor Shen have wishes that has not been fulfilled? Shen Wei: Yes Shen Wei: There is a person, we are mere acquaintances, we have no relationship at all, in his heart, I am but a stranger he has spoken to a couple of times. But I still want to see him once more.

with a hungry ghost scratching at the door and Daqing promising rescue by Yunlan Shen Wei: Don't we have ways to save ourselves? Daqing: this is us — a common person, a garbage person, a vegetative person, and me — a lucky charm. Oh, ‘save ourselves’ you say. Do you think if we go into a hot steam wok, it would be enough to fill the gaps between a hungry ghost’s teeth?

amidst all this chaos, Guo is climbing Shen Wei’s leg bc he’s terrified, and Shen Wei’s priority is to HOLD HIS PANTS UP.

Lin Jing is … a monk? (fake monk, according to Yunlan)

Lin Jing: there are two men and a cat in there Yunlan: no way, Shen Wei wouldn’t abandon his student Lin Jing: … who is this Shen Wei Yunlan: mumbles nobody important Lin Jing: You only ever do that when you meet a beauty — is this Shen Wei a man or a woman? Yunlan: buddhist chant

when the hungry ghost is sucking up all the air + souls in a room, guo screams: I’m going to be sucked up!

and then somehow has the wherewithal to make up metaphors: i’m going to be sucked up like jello from a vacuum bag!

Yunlan cuts the energy between hungry ghost and guo, and guo starts falling — onto Shen Wei. Naturally, Yunlan rushes forward and catches Shen Wei into his arms and let Guo fall on his face

AND HIS FIRST PRIORITY IN THAT SECOND IS TO LOOK COOL

Zhao Yunlan holds onto Shen Wei’s waist and takes a halfstep the the side, and the lighter’s flame illuminates his face — handsome, cool, his features as chiselled as with a blade, gazing from the darkest place yet his pupils reflect the flame He successfully keep this act up like a big bad wolf, lowering his voice and looking into Shen Wei’s eyes, and like a hero protagonist saving a beauty in a movie, he asks quietly: Professor Shen, are you alright? At the same time, he completely ignores the whining intern on the floor.

Yunlan can hypnotise people and change/erase their memories of supernatural events, kind of MiB like

He does this to Shen Wei, carries him (like a bride, bc just before that Shen Wei’s leaning on his shoulder) takes him to his student’s hospital room, make sure he’s comfortably sitting, says a protective spell and EATS HIS TOFU

which is the chinese way of saying he took advantage, kisses the back of Shen Wei’s right hand and says: good night, sleeping beauty

of course, SHEN WEI wasn’t ASLEEP

he ‘saves’ the protective spell and leaves by the second floor window

i guess Shen Wei forgets about being human sometimes, only ghosts come and go by the WINDOW

Guo Changcheng GLOWS to someone who can see (like someone with a third eye) between worlds.

Apparently he’s been using his allowance to do charitable work for YEARS. There is so much merit built up in his ‘books’ he’s practically a saint

Guo Changcheng IS SO PURE

When the slayer arrives, the temperature drops below zero and the windows frost over

he has a black claok, doesn’t wear a mask. His face is just BLACK MIST.

He smells like winter. (and it’s nice?)

… like freshly fallen snow in the morning when one opens the door to it for the first time, that first breath you take on a snowy day — like endless and eternal snow that never melts, clean, yet extremely cold, mixed in with the scent of flowers dying in the frost — far and away, a fragrance like walking to the end of the world. But it’s only for a moment, because after that one’s nose feels frozen and can’t tell any smells apart.

Guo’s explanation in his head for this is: he’s from the southern hemisphere and it’s winter there. (omg)

And then the moment the slayer goes off with YUnlan he starts asking after his health seriously

the slayer is a motherhen (when it comes to yunlan anyway)

he uses the same tone of voice to kill ghosts as he does asking after ppl’s health and Guo thinks this is terrifying (it is)

Li Qian killed her grandmother, none of that heartwarming retconned stuff in the show

the Slayer finds out where the Reincarnation-dial is from Qian and Yunlan follows because he’s curious and finds the place … covered in bodies … of monsters and ghosts that the slayer’s just slain / beheaded.

Yunlan: What’s going on? We’re all responsible for the environment, your honour was only coming here to find a thing, how did this battle happen. tries to step around the bodies but there’s no place to put his feet (what battle? it was a SLAUGHTER)

So it seems Yunlan meeting Shen Wei in this life time was planned by the villain

Chu (old Chu from Zhao, Brother Chu from Guo) is thin as a moving skeleton, about the same age as Lin Jing

And they all slack off in the office MOST OF THE TIME

Yunlan pursues Shen Wei for 3 months, Shen Wei keeps on giving him excuses, the cat makes fun of him mercilessly

Yunlan is eventually reduced to buying a box of old books and stalking Shen Wei with his car on campus until the students are all staring and he has no choice but to knock on the window and asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING

so in the show they made this all about Yunlan being suspicious of him, but there’s none of that in the book, at this point he’s just pursuing the professor shamelessly

Yunlan: this is for you Shen Wei: … opens box No, this is too valuable I can’t take it Yunlan: makes up a bunch of lies my friend’'s emigrating they leave their books behind you take them Shen Wei: I — Yunlan: I what, we’re so familiar already, it’d be unconscionable to say no to keeping the books, see you, let’s have dinner this weekend drives off Shen Wei: is conflicted while suddenly standing on campus holding a heavy box Shen Wei: is happy Yunlan is being so lovely Shen Wei: is jealous that he may be like this with other people

So, Yunlan is an introvert

Yunlan’s heart is a little lazy, hasn’t interest in anything, there’s nothing of import at work right now, and aside from one important networking, occasionally harassing Shen Wei, he spends all his remaining time alone at home.

Yunlan lives in a studio apartment, ‘like a dog’, or ‘neither pig nor dog.’ in other words, MESSY

it’s Yunlan, apparently, that turned his role as ‘guardian’ / command of sealing the spirits(?) into a police department.

Yunlan has ended relationships (or have it ended on him) because he just doesn’t want to talk when he’s home

the reasons are “lack of communication”, “no passion” “Our personalities do not match, we don’t speak the same language” and “You have never loved me”

so he finally gets a date with Shen Wei on Sunday, and on Saturday he gets up at noon, eats bread and water and plays video games until he gets a massive stomachache

he stumbles out the door in his pajamas, a coat, and no socks in his shoes, to get food, and overhears a robbery taking place, and it’s SHEN WEI

they end up getting dinner afterwards and he eats like a starving man until he basically collapses from stomachache

Shen Wei takes him home and they trip over an open umbrella, it hasn’t rained in more than half a month

Shen Wei: Take off your clothes and go to bed Yunlan: But if I do you’ll say i’m improper Shen Wei: What Yunlan: is wearing pajamas under his coat has no socks Shen Wei: blushes Yunlan: shows off his chest You told me to take off my clothes Shen Wei: ZHAO YUNLAN WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING SOCKS Shen Wei: WHAT HAVE YOU EATEN ALL DAY Yunlan: points at garbage can Shen Wei: the whole day? What’d you eat yesterday Yunlan: dunno, drank too much Shen Wei: Do you live like this everyday??? Yunlan: um, yeah? Shen Wei: about to die of anger

Yunlan, way to impress future husband, high-five

meanwhile, Yunlan’s thinking: he’s never angry, but he’s angry because he’s fallen for me. Because i’m handsome (NO JOKE)

Shen Wei: You’re not so young, and you’re established in your career, this is about time for you to find a girlfriend and make a home, ti’s best to have someone take care of you Yunlan: Are you seriously telling me that you haven’t noticed I’ve been pursuing YOU (looks depressed) Then fine, thank you for today, i’m alright, you can go home (fully expecting Shen Wei to feel sorry enough to come closer, Yunlan has a speech prepared and everything)

BUT HE LEAVES

And comes back the next morning 7am with groceries (gosh i love this trope) and takes care of Yunlan

Yunlan’s kitchen is full of kitchenware with the pricetags still on

Shen Wei preps food and heats his hands over the heater before touching Yunlan

to be precise, he strokes Yunlan’s hair and then kisses his own fingers (excuse the blogger. screams)

He feels as if he is a moth that has realised its fate, holding himself from the flame is painful

Yunlan comes out of his bath (in the afternoon) to find that Shen Wei’s cleaned his apartment, folded away his clothes, aired out his room, and made food

So naturally, he figures now’s the time to PROPOSE because wow he’s found THE ONE

Yunlan: Seriously, if you would agree, I will sell this place tomorrow, and buy a big place near your campus. Yunlan: I never thought about buying a big house before, it seemed like such a burden, but now I understand: if I want a person as my wife, then I must build a gold house to hide them. Shen Wei (thinks he’s making fun of him): Eat your food it’s getting cold Yunlan touches the back of Shen Wei’s hand: Even though it may not seem that way, but I’m perfectly serious

- queue requisite “i’m a man” and “you should have children” talk

Yunlan: I’m not obligated to propagate the earth for the sake of mankind, Teacher Shen, are you an ALIEN???

- Yunlan literally tells him: if you really want children we can get a surrogate, it’s easy enough to have kids when you have money - Shen Wei then refuses to go to a movie with him the next week but it’s because he’ll be out of town for a week and Yunlan counts that as a WIN

back at the office: Zhu Hong: Xiaoguo is a good kid, fast learner, but he’s too cowardly, it took him this long to accept food from me Yunlan: That’s natural, he’s afraid of people Zhu Hong: … Yunlan: He’s not afraid of you, because he obvs doesn’t think you’re people

earthquake news play on television Yunlan: Why wasn’t it a bigger earthquake, I had no my arms open ready to comfort him and everything Zhu Hong: Who’d you seduce this time Yunlan: Don’t make it sound so terrible, spring must come to the world and flowers must bloom, its fragrance cannot be missing romance, you ppl must not insult other people’s pure love Lin Jing: buddhist chant Zhu Hong: HELP.

Wang Zheng suddenly appear in the office during the day (she is a ghost, they dissipate in the light) and everyone rushes to close the blinds and give her incense

Yunlan (takes out cigarette): YOU Wang Zheng (moves backwards): Don’t make me breathe your second-hand smoke. Yunlan: …you’re a ghost, madam Wang Zheng, you’re not going to get lung cancer. Wang Zheng: Ghosts can smell smoke and fire, if you keep doing that, you’re going to turn into a human shaped mosquito incense.

Yunlan calls someone sister-in-law over the phone

Zhu Hong: How come director Song is his sister-in-law? He doesn’t even have a sister Daqing: Who knows, he goes out drinking and gains sister-in-laws (?)

- The ‘red’ threads connecting Yunlan and Shen Wei are myriad and golden (and Shen Wei can see them)

[last-flight-of-fancy]

fatedeniedhope replied to your post “* sees people confused over various kh plot points * * is not people i...”

I would like yo know a bit. Only play kh 1 and chain of memories and half way to kh 2

oh boy there is a *lot* to cover here then!

I don’t mean that to sound intimidating, kh just has a tendency for long, sprawling interconnected plots (many of which are still unresolved even now)

i am also doing this entirely by memory, so if i’ve skimmed something i shouldn’t have its because my brain has stopped registering it as important; feel free to ask for clarification, i wrote this in one sitting because i was avoiding doing laundry XD

putting a cut because i am overviewing a Lot of game here and tbh there’s still a lot of stuff i am skimming or skipping entirely. I’m just trying to hit the highlights.

i don’t know where you stopped in 2, so i’m just gonna give a brief overview

-there is a boy named roxas

-he’s being hunted by these strangers called nobody’s

-things get weird

-turns out he’s sora’s nobody, as nobody’s are created when a person is turned into a heartless (which sora did during kh1)

-roxas returns to sora (”looks like my summer vacation is.. over...” whoops there goes my heart) and normal sora gameplay resumes.

-DIDNEY WORLDS

-turns out everyone forgot sora for a year bc of what happened in chain of memories (and also 358/2. dont worry about that yet we’ll get there). kairi sends out a bottle to “the boy she can’t remember” trying to call him home. (yes this is important)

-organization 13 (all what? eight of them left?) pops up, xemnas is cryptic, and they say their goal is to recreate kingdom hearts via sora killing heartless, since apparently only killing heartless with a keyblade sends the trapped hearts to Kingdom Hearts

      -this version of the tale persists through 358 as well. it’s.. half right.

-bla bla bla, shenanigans. there’s ansem (the boss from kh1) and a guy named diz. That isn’t who either of them actually are. It’s actually Riku (who tapped too far into the darkness trying to capture roxas for the whole twilight town scenario at the beginning of the game, thus altering his appearance to look like the guy who posessed him for a bit) and THE ACTUAL ANSEM (ie, the ruler(?) of radient garden before it fell, and the guy heartless ansem stole his name from.

-anyways

-sora goes off searching for riku, bc as far as he knows, he’s still lost out in the darkness.

-he’s not, he’s fine, but he’s super embarrassed about the whole ‘looking like the enemy’ thing and won’t let sora find him.

-sora casually murders most of the remaining organization members (only most of whom shot first)

-this continues on until axel attempts to kidnap kairi, who ends up in twilight town for a bit hanging out with the hayner/pence/ollete trio, before being slightly more successfully kidnapped a second time.

-and then she gets kidnapped again by saix. Axel apologises to sora over this. in his defence, he’s pretty desperate at this point (he just wants his friend(s) back)

-sora storms The World That Never Was, kairi is rescued by Namine.

-the trio finally meets up (namine disapeared at some point? yknow, i actually dont recall what happened to her in between these scenes), sora and kairi share a slightly awkward but sweet hug, and after a moments trepidation over ‘Ansem’, kairi tells/shows him its riku, at which point sora bursts into tears.

-i ship a lot of ot3′s, but sorikai is the OG ot3

-anyways

-namine and roxas have a very symbolic moment refusing with their Other’s, Namine opens a portal back to destiny islands so they can go home.

-everyone except sora and riku make it through, and thus commences several final fantasy style boss fights

-they win, of course, riku’s injured in the line of battle, and they limp out, having traversed several realms during the course of this battle, they’re now trapped on a beach in the realm of darkness. it’s the same beach everyone else seems to end up on in this place. There is only one beach in the RoD apparently

-they stay there a while, and then they pick up a message in a bottle; it’s from kairi, “to the boy she can’t remember”

-Feelings make a door to the light open, and sora and riku fall like actual comets from the sky and everybody’s reunited and happy. huzzah!

-.... well for a while anyways.

-should i get into the whole xemnas/xehanort/ansem thing here?

-eh

-okay so

-lets swing back into Birth By Sleep for a bit

-(im sorry if kh can’t hit any of its plot points in order i think its fair neither do i)

-BBS takes place roughly nine years prior to kh1, with the exception of bbs’s prologue, which i would estimate as being an additional four years prior to that

-during said prologue, we meet Master Xehanort, an incredibly old dude with brown skin, gold eyes, and a white beard. even newcomers to the series will probably recognise that only one type of person gets those colours in these games.

-we also meet baby Ventus, Xehanorts apprentice. He looks exactly like Roxas.

-shenanigans happen, Xehanort splits Ven’s heart in two, creating Vanitas, who is Ventus’s darkness.

-Vanitas’ whole shtick is he wants to be reunited with Ventus, ostensibly to create the X-blade (yes it’s pronounced exactly the same as ‘keyblade’ and yes, every single kh fan ive ever talked to has found this annoying af)

-unfortunately being split in two like that puts ven in a coma, and xehanort takes the unresponiseve body to destiny islands to dump it like unwanted ravioli

-luckily for ven, “a brand new hear” hears his hurt and reaches out to help, filling out the gaps left in his and allowing him to start recovering

-the heart is sora

-actual, literal baby sora reaching out to help people before he can even walk yet. 

-the game never spells this out explicitly, which makes it an easy plot point to miss if you aren’t paying attention

-ven doesn’t recover immidietly though, and xehanort sends him to live with his old friend Master Eraqus and his two teenage apprentices, Aqua and Terra

-here’s where we time skip, ventus is fully recovered, terra and aqua are young adults and about to take their Mark Of Mastery exams for becoming keyblade masters.

-Terra fails because he has darkness in his heart and also xehanort rigged it against him

-aqua passes and becomes a master. I love her very much.

-terra journey’s out to try and figure out where the darkness comes from

-vanitas taunts ven saying terra’s leaving him bc ven’s stupid or something and ven panics and chases after him (he’s like 14 and has a bit of a hero worship thing, stupid decisions are par for the course)

-eraqus sends aqua out to both spy on terra (he words it nicer but thats the gist of it), which aqua doesn’t particularly like but trusts her masters judgement and does it, and bring ventus home, which she is more on board with

-the biggest tragedy in bbs is that no one talks to each other

-stuff happens, they learn some stuff, aqua’s route has So Many Lesbian Feels with every single princess she runs into it brings me great delight

-Ventus learns the whole ‘fight your darkness to become the X-blade’ plot, eraqus learns this too and tries to kill ven. Terra busts in at the last moment and saves ven, at this point using his dark powers fully.

-#terrawasright

-eraqus dies, which i don’t think terra fully intended to do (he just wanted to save ven) and if you recall the scene in kh1 where kairi catches a falling sora only for him to burst into a bunch of floating glitter? imagine that but with two grown men

-aqua’s just trying to figure out whats going on. she gets to meet kairi (saves her from some heartless and then puts a charm on her necklace to keep her safe) and then meets Mickey, who will be our future duex ex machina

-they all meet for the final battle.

-ven asks his friends to murder him

-no one does that

-what the fuck ven

-they fight, and a lot of stuff sorta happens at the same time

-1: terra fights xehanort, who has essentially been spending the whole game prepping terra to be his next host. xehanort is a body snatcher confirmed. xehanort wins, terra becomes the fanon-named terranort.

-2: ventus fights vanitas. vanitas reveals his face, and he looks exactly like a colour swapped version of sora. (also voiced by the same voice actor! it’s actually surprsingly difficult to notice this if you don’t have some kind of clue already because haley joel osment does and *amazing* job). ventus wins, the X-blade is not forged, but as a lot of this battle takes place in his heart, the effects are bad and ven falls into a coma (he reaches out once more, and another hearts answers. “you can stay here a while, I don’t mind” says the other heart. yes its fucking sora again. too good, too pure)

-3: aqua gets knocked out to start with, but then she fights vanitas controlling ventus’ body, which eventually gets sorted out. terra’s dissapeared at this point, and she takes a comatose ven and hides him in the land of departure, which she uses a secret mechanism to turn into Castle Oblivion (and thus, impossible to navigate  without her key)

-aqua goes to hunt down terra(nort), and finds him in radiant garden. they fight, aqua wins, but when he begins to sink into the darkness she sacrifices herself to save him (which is how he ends up as one of ansem’s apprentices and mostly without any memories)

-aqua will spend the next ten years in the realm of darkness

-bbs is such a goddam tragedy

-OKAY

-time to fast forward

-so sora and ven are connected, which is why vanitas and roxas look the way they do, which brings us to

-the case of xion

-and 358/2

-the worst game to play but my absolute favourite in terms of slow-burn pacing and emotionally investing you in the characters

-this game pretty much just deals with the year sora spent asleep, and the kids time in the organization.

-roxas wakes up with no memories, is inducted into the org, and told “kill heartless with your keyblade”. He’s more or less a zombie at first, and accepts this without question.

-a week later, a new member is introduced, named Xion, who also has a keyblade, and is also a zombie with no memories at first

-Axel, the org’s assassin, is basically told to babysit them both

-he’s not really into it at first, but those natural Big Brother instincts kick in Hard about five minutes later and from that point on he’s mostly just trying to keep them both alive.

-oh, also Lea, Axel’s somebody, met Ventus in bbs, so that was probably a little weird for him.

-as the game goes on and these kids essentially learn how to human and try to figure out what makes them different, the Big Plots stew in the background. Axel and Saix have some kind of plan that Axel apparently isn’t sticking to, and Axel questions his loyalties more as the game goes on and circumstances force him to choose between two kids Who Did Nothing Wrong, and his oldest friend.

-Xion learns they are a replica, a la Repliku, created as a backup to roxas if he could not fulfil his duty in creating kingdom hearts. their connection with roxas, and through him sora, has the unintended side effect of flitering memories and feelings into and through Xion.

-this is why putting sora back together takes so long

-Xion, between the pressure of being an org member in general, and the mental load from being caught between three+ people in a very literal sense, has a breakdown. Riku finds them, and despite a pretty rocky start between them, helps them through it.

-Xion leaves at two different points, the first time, Axel brings them back. “please don’t hold back, Axel. Promise.” “Everyone always thinks they’re right”

-excuse me i have to lay down again after thinking about how emotionally wrought this scene is.

-(the alternative is he has to kill them. he does everything he can to avoid that, but it’s clearly approaching an unsustainable situation; the org is running out of patience for dealing with the ‘clearly defective replica’, xion doesnt feel this situation is right, and axel just wants to keep everyone alive.

-yes typing ‘clearly defective replica’ physically hurt me. xion is a perfect bab and xemnas can fite me

-Xion leaves again

-Roxas, learning pieces of this but not all, runs away from the org. cue titular “no one would me” “that’s not true!” scene from 2

-(this leads to what is a hilariously depressing scene of roxas on the clocktower looking at his life and going “where could i even run to? I havent got anywhere to go” because he’s never known anything other than the organization and whoops i made myself sad again)

-namine explains to xion that sora can never wake up so long as they have his memories. The only way for them to release the memories is to die. It’s a hard decision.

-Xion meets roxas on the clocktower, feigns insanity, and goads him into fighting them (”do you see my face, roxas? is it a boys face? don’t you see. I have to make you a part of me too.”)

-cue more ff style boss fights

-xion dies

-look i can’t go into detail on this one i’ll start crying again, xion dies, everyone forgets they ever existed, and roxas gets to watch them shatter into dust in his arms.

-in the brief period where the memories are quickly vanishing but Not Quite Gone Yet roxas goes into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and storms the World That Never Was

-this is where Riku catches up to him, and from there its a pretty straight shot into the beginning of kh2

-which im sure if you played these in chronological order would be *some kind of mood whiplash* i bet

-okay what have i missed

-recoded happened. the only important part here is that malificent and pete find out about the black box and malificent being malificent of course she Has To Have It

-”but whats the black box??” you ask

-good question

-we still dont know

-its  origin point is in KHUx though, 

-which is the multiplayer mobile game set during the Keyblade War of ages past. each weilder also has a companion dream eater named chirithy

-there are five unions, each headed by a leader and represented by an animal (unicorn, bear, snake, fox, and leopard)

-#anguisforlife

-these five (plus one more, named luxu) are each given roles by their master (the Master of Masters, or also known as MoM). He also tells them there is a traitor amongst the warriors of light. it’s unclear at this point how much of this he is directly steering. He also doesnt specifiy Which warriors of light, probably on purpose so everything happens as it should.

-so figure, trying to figure out who the traitor is is a pretty direct cause to no one trusting each other and eventually going for each others throats

-there is a page from the book of prophecies he gives only to luxu, who he tells that his role is to see the future with this Special Keyblade (and specifically the Eye in it). You might recognise it as xehanorts keyblade (and then you’ll start to see the Eye in a whole bunch of other ones too, notably in soul edge, way to dawn, and void gear)

-luxu fucks off, and everyone else goes about their business

-the first half of khux details how these unions came to  be rivals, and then how they fell into war with each other and destroyed the light. the second half detailed how Ava, leader of the fox union, created a fifth group known as the dandelions, specifically picked to survive the fall of the light and rebuild.

-ventus and lauriam are two of these leaders. No, we still don’t know how they got from one point to the other.

-one of the replacement leaders, strelitzia, got murdered and replaced by someone else. i think this plot point has been resolved in japan but i havent checked yet

-strelitzia is lauriam’s sister. she also knows elrena.

-and if you’re bad at anagraming like i am, lauriam=marluxua, and elrena=larxene

-so yeah figure that one out for me

-also i love strelitzia she has like two scenes total and i was already ludicrously attached help

-(Yes i screamed very hard during that One Scene in 3. we dont even see her face but it’s heerrrrrrrr)

-anyways

-right the black box

-luxu is seen carrying it off in the Back Cover movie as he wanders into exile. we still dont know whats in it. and that’s basically that.

-which leaves just Dream Drop Distance

-sora and riku take a Highly Modified mark of master exam under yen sid.

-things go wrong almost immidietly

-sora gets trapped by the xehanorts in a deep sleep, where they plan to use him as one of their 13 vessels of darkness

-there has to be 13 for some reason

-13 darknesses, and 7 lights, and when they clash it’ll make the X-blade

-because reasons

-it’s fate or something

-riku rescues him

-there is time travel involved now

-because at this point the 13 darkness now include; heartless ansem, master xehanort, xemnas, young xehanort, xigbar, and saix.

-more time travel will be involved later, but to keep this in mind the rules of time travel here are

     -you cannot take your body with you

     -you lose any future knowledge you gain if and when you return

-things are obviously wibbly here because it’s half in the dreamscape, but just. keep those rules in mind when you play 3.

....... im sure im missing a bunch but i just spent two hours writing the most casual pre-kh3 synopsis ever i hope you can forgive me XD

[truetgirl]

Spark of the Holy Fire

The origin story for my first ever fanwalker! It’s been a long time since I’ve done any fanfic and even longer since I’ve made any OCs. Really that’s a tragedy bc I started writing way back when with a big ol’ batch of PJO OCs that we shant speak of here. Lately though I’ve been doing creative writing again and I felt like I wanted to try this, so here we go!

           As the wind passed over her face, Rae knew nothing could feel more right in the world. Moonquill’s muscles moved bellow her, wings flapping to keep them aloft as they glided over the moors. It was a rare treat to go home, to have the opportunity to see her father, to visit her mother’s and sister’s graves. Most of the time her duties as a Cathar kept her away. Now, though, Avacyn’s protections were fully restored and the world had grown calmer, more peaceful.

           She cast her mind back to that fateful day, Avacyn rising from the shattered remains of the vault. It had been an honor beyond her wildest dreams to witness that moment first hand, to see their protector return to them at last. For her, as a Cathar, what followed had been a blur of righteous battle and rejoicing in victory as she had never tasted before. No longer were they simply holding evil at bay, now they could seek it out where it tried to hide. Each day after Avacyn returned seemed to want the title of best day of her life more than the last. All paled in comparison, however, to the day she met Moonquill…

---

           She had been celebrating another victory with her fellow Cathars, this time over vampires in Nephalia, when it happened. Walking out from the tavern where they’d been drinking all night to return to the church where they were camped. Rae had known they weren’t generally supposed to be drinking like this, they all knew that. But lately, nobody had cared much about enforcing that. It was a time of rejoicing, after all, and few had earned it more than the Cathars who had fought through the darkest of times.

           In her stupor, Rae was beginning to consider kissing one of her sisters in arms when, suddenly, her mind cleared. She’d been able to feel magic for years, had gotten a sense of what the movement of mana around her felt like while working with Archmages and priests. The feeling she had now was just like that, except instead of feeling the mana be pulled past her, she began to feel it swirl around her.

           Following the flow, she looked up, noting briefly that her comrades had all backed away and begun to stare at her. Above she saw, framed by the moon, a pair of pristine white wings holding aloft the form of a gryff, beautiful and graceful, slowly descending upon the street, upon Rae.

           Rae had heard there were flocks of gryffs in the skies again, returning with Avacyn, but it was only now she saw one up close. The stories did not do them justice. The gryff’s feathers and hair were a sparkling, pristine white. Its muscles toned and powerful under its skin, yet its whole form lithe and flexible.

           The gryff landed and, with a start, Rae realized that the mana she felt was swirling around them both now, grouping them together. She raised a hand, which she realized was surrounded in an aura of light, and stepped toward the gryff. She couldn’t place why, but she felt drawn forward, like this mana around them created a charge to draw them together. The gryff, for her part, stayed perfectly still as Rae’s hand extended toward her and then jerked back. Rae, uncertain of what she was doing, tried again.

           This time she felt mana flow into her, as easy as breathing, filling her with calm and certainty. She placed her hand on the gryff’s muzzle, stroking gently, and it was as if a jolt of lightning passed between them. Rae felt herself, standing there, but she also felt the gryff standing before her as if they were one.

           “Moonquill…” she muttered, not knowing where she had found the name, but knowing it was right.

           The gryff dipped its head, as if it were nodding, and then seemed to speak in Rae’s mind. Speak, perhaps, was not the best word for it, but Rae could understand Moonquill the same way she understood herself.

           Following her next instinct, Rae mounted Moonquill, her fellow Cathars staring up at her, their jaws slack with awe at the sight.

           “Everyone,” Rae said, trying to keep from laughing at their faces, feeling Moonquill puff with pride, “Meet Moonquill, she’s a new friend of mine…”

---

           Since that day Rae and Moonquill had ridden the skies together, members of the new Cathar order of Gryff Knights. Rae didn’t fully understand it, but that day something the clergy had come to call a Soul Bond had formed between them, as it formed between all Gryff Knights and their mounts. Apparently, it wasn’t unique to Gryff Knights, and had been appearing between all sorts of beings.

Rae didn’t much care for all that, though, she just rode with Moonquill wherever they were needed, acting in perfect sync with one another, as if rider and mount were one. She reveled in that sensation, and she knew Moonquill did too, even if she’d never admit it.

Rae felt Moonquill poking at her through their bond and she snapped out of her reminiscing. Moonquill felt concerned.

“Don’t worry, Quill,” Rae said, patting Moonquill’s flank as they glided along, “Just thinking about the good times. Been nice having some for a change.”

The gryff seemed to understand, as she always did, and they flew on in contented silence, home beginning to show just on the horizon.

---

           Rae hit the ground hard, feeling her ribs crack under the impact. As she struggled to regain her breath, she contemplated how idiotic it had been to engage an angel in the air. No matter how skilled the soul-pair, no knight in the order could hope to defeat an angel in single combat like that. Mad or not, an angel was still an angel.

           Reaching out through their bond, Rae felt Moonquill. She breathed a sigh of relief, finding her friend alive and still gliding, if in some pain. She called Moonquill to her as she scanned the smoke-filled skies for the angel, trying not to let the complete wrongness of this situation get to her.

           Before long she saw her mount emerge through the smoke billowing up from one of the rooves in the village. She felt calm, preparing to perform a low-flying mount as usual. Then, it all went terribly wrong.

           Behind Moonquill the angel emerged from the smoke, her blade raised and wreathed in fire. Before Rae could call out, before she could tell Moonquill to get out of there, the blade came down.

           Rae would never remember what she saw, only the pain that exploded across her link with Moonquill. It felt as if the flaming sword had been plunged into her neck and left there. Her vision went white, and then, as she realized what must have happened, red. She felt rage like she had never known. All at once the teachings of the church left her mind. There was no place now for mercy, tolerance, and compassion. How could this be the perfect exemplar of those things? How could this monster be what she had always aspired to be like? Every part of her body and soul cried for vengeance, for justice, and for the first time she couldn’t find any difference between them.

The next thing she would remember seeing was her own hands, acting without her thinking, rising to the heavens and igniting in flames. Rae could not tell if the fire was burning her, and she did not care. Acting on pure instinct, she hurled fire at the angel. The angel’s face, which had moments ago been full of glee and lethal intent, now twisted into a very un-angelic expression: fear.

The first wave burned holes in her wings, bringing her to ground. The next began to melt her armor, metal bubbling and leather crumbling to dust. The next found skin, and the angel screamed in pain. Rae didn’t care, she just kept throwing fire until long after the screaming stopped.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there, looking at the pile of charred bones and slag metal where there had once been an angel, but eventually she fell to her knees. The flames on her hands spread up her arms and soon engulfed her entire body. Though the flames themselves did not hurt her, she could feel her tears on her cheeks turning to steam almost immediately as she shed them. She looked to the sky, which had begun to open with rain, and felt herself scream as the drops began to steam off of her burning aura.

Then, she felt something in her chest, as if yet more fire were trying to burst forth, and then began to feel her body fade away. Rae imagined she must be starting to burn up in her own flames, too numb to feel the pain anymore. That theory collapsed when, all of a sudden, her flames were snuffed, collapsing back into her hands and then going out, and the dark sky above her was replaced with harsh sunlight.

The first thing she noticed was the lack of clouds. The shock of that alone was almost enough to distract her from the pain she felt, both in her soul and her ribs. Rae has never seen a sky totally free of clouds, and she had never felt sunlight this harsh. She lowered her gaze and continued her descent into what must be madness as she saw a vast, flat landscape of sands and rocky ground stretching to the horizon. Nowhere like this existed in all the known world. Looking to either side, she saw what seemed to be a sort of road extending for miles in either direction, and, to her left, what appeared to be a band of travelers.

Rae pushed herself to her feet, which at this point was as difficult as lifting an entire building on her shoulders. Out of habit, she tried to call for Moonquill, only to collapse again when she felt the crushing emptiness where her friend’s presence should have been.

Seeming to see her fall, two figures ran forward from the band of travelers. They helped Rae to her feet, lifting her between them, and as Rae offered thanks she got her first real look at one of them. The man seemed to be human, but with skin darker than Rae had ever seen in her life. His clothes were more like robes than common garb, but not quite like any robes she’d ever seen either.

“Thank you,” Rae said for what was at least the fifth time, “But where am I? Who are you?”

“We are traders from Femeref,” said the man in an accent which was, much like everything else Rae had seen in the last few minutes, totally unrecognizable, “We’re on the road home across the desert. What happened to you?”

“I,” Rae started to reply but then caught on something the man had said, “Wait, Femeref? Desert? What are you talking about?”

The man Rae had been speaking to exchanged a look with the other man helping her back towards the wagons before saying “Miss, what do you mean? Femeref is our country, here on Jamuraa, this is the desert that it borders. How could you be here and not know this?”

Rae tried to answer but all that emerged from her mouth was a whimper of bewilderment before she finally gave in to the mounting exhaustion and confusion and felt her consciousness slip away…

[impivus]

very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything 

aka im lazy 

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 )  years old .  some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL &  MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us .  ⇢  SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE  /  entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN  /  scorpio   ENNEAGRAM TYPE  /  7w8 KINSEY SCALE  /  3 MORAL ALIGNMENT /  chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS. 

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust . 

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free?  eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ??  i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once ..  have a hort  he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage.   queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger.  all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird )  that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic. 

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped. 

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu 

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away. 

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do 

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr: 

[skinwalks]

moby vs. your muse, probably. 👀

friendly reminder and fyi to anybody who might want to argue their muse is stronger than moby, on account of ‘oh! my muse has superhuman strength and senses and fast reflexes!’ and etc...

so does moby. 

she is, as i’m developing her, a deity in the making, edging closer and closer to that level tier. she will continue to evolve, pushing the limits of her abilities further and further as she ages and grows into adulthood, as well as she continues to practice and explore what she is capable of at present time.

but she is powerful, even without them. she is the best parts of both of her parents and was raised in a household where all her mother and father knew for most of their lives was to fight. fight, fight, fight, whether it was to terrorize for fun, to kill on command, to protect what they had, or to survive so they could live another day. one of her three uncles is also ex-military where he’s from, and another one studied for years at one of her planet’s most renowned dojos-- the same dojo whose students taught her mother, too. all of these people have had a big impact on her upbringing, making sure she would be able to thrive in her environment once she stepped out of their corner of the world and into a greater civilization. and she did.

moby knows martial arts. she also knows anatomy like nobody’s business, knows pressure points and where it’ll hurt the most and what will kill you the fastest. coming from a planet where werewolves, vampires, and other supernatural creatures are common, she is also privvy to most of these species’ most generic weaknesses (since specific disadvantages do vary across breed and can be a mountain of information impossible to access).

she is also strong. moby has a toned musculature. she has a toned back and a toned stomach, thick strong thighs and she has noticeably toned arms with a light bulk built for strength. even casting that aside, she’s a creature crafted from the strengths of a hellish demon that was once a metahuman and a centuries old shapeshifter bred from a long, pure line of its own kind. she has supernatural, superhuman strength meaning dense muscle fibers and dense bone with plenty of resilience and durability to her. she can rip the roof off a car like its a cardboard panel and hoist the front of a van from the ground with her bare hands. she can crush a human skull in her palms or with a couple easy blows and rip a limb straight out of its socket. her teeth can cut and grind bone and her claws can shear flesh like its paper.

admittedly, moby is not super fast-- she cannot get from point a to point b in some invisible sprint unseen by the normal eye and she can’t dodge a bullet point blank. but, she can miss arrows, she can catch them at a reasonable distance, and has been trained to anticipate an opponent’s moves in close combat, as well as how to deflect them and defend herself, all while carrying plenty of power to end things easily if she finds herself face to face with something human.

this is NOT considering moby can increase her bone density or the density and size of her musculature if she needs to, assuming she’s fed well enough that day to last her long enough to win a battle. this is not considering moby can grow several times her size, can become one of thousands of creatures or a myriad of many. and this is not considering that soon, she will also be capable of shifting into a swarm with a floating conscientiousness like a hive mind, and via a very similar method, be able to break down and even multiply (to a limit) into a particle-like mass that can be very, very dangerous.

to top it off, she is also extremely hard to kill with only a few surefire ways to either finish her off for good or incapacitate her long enough to make her far less threatening. and, yes: for those of you who have ever looked at a shapeshifting character -not a werewolf or werecat, but a true shapeshifting species that can change form and size- and wondered... “wowie, couldn’t they just... idk, turn into like, a fly or some tiny animal, crawl inside someone and blow them up from the inside by turning big again??” YES, moby can do that. and yes, she would and has done it before. roleplay etiquette is the only thing stopping her because i don’t want to be a dick but is it totally within her character? yep.

basically, is moby over powered? i guess you could say so. is that a problem? it shouldn’t be. i’ve been developing her every day with a lot of things being taken into consideration, debating this and that, and not only that, but a lot of other muses are overpowered. it’s the way they were built and few ever make that a problem if it’s a canon character. just because this is an oc shouldn’t be any different, because i’ve noticed a trend time and time again that although tumblr asks and begs for stronger women, muscled women, women that can kick ass and conquer civilizations or bring a man to his knees, almost nobody can look at let’s say my muse (and some other female muses, i’ve noticed), and just freaking say without argument, “yeah, your muse can kick mine’s ass.” it’s always gotta be some pissing contest. well, after being told over and over even BEFORE i made moby (with my other muses, especially her mom) that my muse is the weaker one? that they’ve gotta submit to some other muse for this and this reason?? (and believe it or not, sometimes it’s an ooc reason!) i’m saying nope. not this time. only a few blogs i’m following have a muse that can defeat moby WITHOUT utilizing one of the surefire ways to kill her (this is NOT me saying there aren’t at least a dozen others that can’t go toe to toe with her though bc there are PLENTY). 

but, yeah. if you’ve actually read all this and have an issue with it, or want to fight me on anything i’ve said then, honestly? i don’t want to hear it. feel free to unfollow me. especially if you have a bad issue with the possibility my muse is stronger than yours. i’m just really tired of this having to be a thing so i’m coming right out and saying it all. also: if you aren’t sure and wanna know if your muse is one of the ones i said could defeat moby on a typical day, then let me know as long as you aren’t gonna be mean about what the answer may or may not be. i otherwise don’t mind talking about it.

[thedreadvampy]

Let's be clear, I don't hate men. I'm not afraid of men because some men are bad. I LIKE many men! What IS happening is I don't TRUST men, because however good or thoughtful or caring they are, the way boys and men are taught to relate to women means that a lot of the time you may not even NOTICE you're taking advantage or hurting people. And you may be mostly a lovely person but still be gaslighting and manipulating the women in your life. To be wholly, utterly, clear, this isn't based on a few bad apples. This is ALMOST EVERY MALE PERSON at some point in their life, I've so far met one man who I've never seen do these things to anyone. One in probably a few hundred men I've met in the 24 years I've been on this planet. And also to clarify, men aren't all rapists or potential rapists. I don't think men are inherently evil. I'm also not SCARED OF WHAT YOU MIGHT DO, I'm upset by what you ARE CURRENTLY DOING. I'm not (only) afraid of being raped or abused, I'm tired of constantly watching my back bc you've proven yourself capable of waiting for a moment of vulnerability or you're demanding that I always be ready to meet your needs and be there and listen. I'm tired of worrying about any friendly gesture or kindness being misconstrued, I'm worried about you hating me and turning on me and I'm worried about you deciding you like me enough that nobody else is allowed to like me, and I'd LOVE to relax and trust you but I can't because whenever in my life I've ignored that unease, with partners and with friends and with bosses and with coworkers and with casual acquaintances, I've been proved right to be uneasy. Over and over and over again, not only with rape and assault but with controlling behaviour or violent jealousy or constant belittling and always this constant gaslighting. And you don't have to be a bad person to do this! I don't think most of these people are, fundamentally, bad people, they just don't NOTICE that what they're doing is hurtful, and they can't hear it when I say it. You're also not exempt as a gay man, an asexual man, a man who would Never Have Sex With Me, because it spills into platonic relationships with women just as much. You're not exempt because you're a Woke Feminist man, or a good and kind man, it's ingrained so deep into how we've constructed masculinity you may just have to accept that I'm not going to 100% trust you whatever you do. And it's not personal. I like YOU. But you're going to hurt me, and you probably won't even notice, so I can't relax. And I'm sorry about that, both for you and for me. I want to trust men. It's exhausting watching your back all the time. But the most consistently harmful stuff for me isn't the times I've been raped or abused or harassed, it's tiny little things that you don't notice you're doing and that are so small I couldn't even point them out to you that say 'you are not safe. you are not ever just Ruth you are a woman first and your personhood can be rescinded if needed'. You're not doing it on purpose. You're a good man. I like you. I think you're kind and caring and clever and I like spending time with you. But I don't trust you and I can't trust you. It might sound paranoid. You'd never mean to hurt me. But man, people rarely do. And yet they keep hurting me anyway. It's not some men. It's not even MOST men. It's not a bowl of skittles with some poisoned skittles in, it's a bowl of skittles where every skittle has a trace amount of arsenic. Some of the skittles have like three poison molecules, some are pure poison with a sugar coat, but EVERY one is poisonous to some degree and even if I manage to only ever eat the good ones it'll eventually add up to a fatal dose. But fuck, I love skittles, skittles are valuable and kind and have so much good to offer the world and to offer ME, they're a huge part of what's good in my life. They're still poisoning me, though, little bit by little bit, and it isn't a personal affront if I take an antidote before I take a skittle. I may still want to eat the skittles, but it would be silly to ignore that there's a growing potential for harm.