#publishing internship so much lmao. but now I am. not working in publishing and don’t plan to. which if I had known at the time then I

[villainanders]

what if I went back to school to become an elementary school teacher…….

[ak8shi]

Atsumu + Sakusa + Akaashi reacting to you tying up your hair Tiktok prank (pt. 2)

Part 1

warnings: slightly suggestive/nsfw?? I guess, mentions of dick, some spoilers !

a/n: tysm for giving the first part so much love, it makes me so happy to think so many people enjoyed it <3

 Miya Atsumu

Can I get an F in the chat for this man

He isn’t ready to be played like this aha

So you are sitting in his living room, watching a movie

You’re both sitting on the couch, you sitting between his legs with a big bowl of buttery popcorn he probably doesn’t even eat it because of his stupid healthy diet

All you can focus on is the prank you saw on Tiktok, I mean it’s the perfect opportunity

You’re already kind of between his legs where you belong

You pretend to spill a bit of the popcorn on the carpet and if we’re being honest he would be an ass about it

Him: you’re so cute when you’re clumsy 🧚🏼‍♀️💗✨now go trip over the ledge of my apartment balcony 🥰💫💞

LMAO so you get down from your previous position, and you manage to set up your phone on the corner of the little side table near the couch

Atsumu is so absorbed in the movie his aggy ass doesn’t even notice

You place your hand on his outer thigh, slightly stroking it

NOW HE’S PAYING ATTENTION

You start to put your hair up in a ponytail, and I think he would be genuinely surprised at your boldness for a second but then he’s like,, IT’S HORNY O’CLOCK

Him: Aha ahaha I know baby,,…. I’m just irresistible like that 🤪🥴

AAKSKKSS his vibes are something else he belongs to the streets

You, looking him dead in the face: oh ? I’m just on the ground picking up the popcorn I spilled like the lowly peasant I am :)) Don’t mind me !

Cue pouting Atsumu he honestly needs someone to put him in his place

Now he’s doting on you and being super cute, trying to get you to get back into his lap

“Babyyyy, I didn’t mean to mouth off at ya, c’mere and I’ll show you what else this mouth can do”

CRINGE LMAO,,,, he’s trying though and somehow the prank went an entirely different direction

You’ve been holding out on smiling or showing any type of emotion on your face, but then you crack and start smiling

You finally tell him it was a prank

You: I remember the words “I’m just irresistible like that” specifically coming out of your mouth

Him: well did I lie

You decide against posting it for his wellbeing, the tiktok community would’ve chewed him up and spit him out💀

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Oh god,,,, do not put him on the spot like thisss

Atsumu and Bokuto somehow convinced you to pull one on your boyfriend

You in the groupchat called MonSter BootY 🅱️itches: u guys he will simply step on me

Bokuto and Atsumu: Sis, that’s why it’s going to be so funny, you’ll thank us when you go viral

Anyways, the two boys offer to hide and record the whole thing in the locker room after practice

Sakusa comes out of his fifth shower of the day and is like,,, why are you in here

You: oh you know,,, just hanging out 🥰

He’s probably shirtless too,,, sheesh

Atsumu and Bo are hiding out in one the showers Atsumu has to cover Bokuto’s mouth the entire time

Sakusa is rolling his eyes at you, he’s just like whatever I’m almost done and then we can go

He’s standing near you while you sit on a bench he definitely tells you to get off it because of how many germs are on it and for the simple fact that Atsumu’s ass touches it

I’m screaming you’re already stifling your laugh knowing Atsumu is HEATED behind the shower curtain hearing that

Okay so you give the boys the cue to start recording, asking Omi to give you a kiss on the cheek

Usually this man would NOT do this in front of his teammates,,, but since he thinks he’s alone he makes an exception

He leans down to carefully press a kiss to your turned cheek, and then you make your move

You gently knock your phone down smooth

You get down on the ground, brushing your hand along his leg and calf

At this point you’re sure Atsumu and Bo are LOSING IT

And so you pull the hair tie from your wrist, putting your hair up in a messy bun

He’s looking down at you kind of intensely, and you think for a second that he might go along with the prank you: I like the view

You: oops I dropped something 😉

Him, stepping away from you: oh my god,, get up right this instant or I will not be able to legally touch you for the next week

THE EMBARRASSMENT,,,, you can’t recover from this he is so grossed out LMAO

You reluctantly pick up your phone and get up, hearing the boys’ thundering footsteps as they sprint out of the locker room,, laughing their asses off

He doesn’t even care about them at this point, he’s just like we need to get you home and into the shower IMMEDIATELY,,,

Sakusa looking at the Tiktok later: what do you mean it only went viral because I’m shirtless

You, looking at his Amazon purchases: why did you order so many gardening knee pads

Him: I know how to treat a girl right sweetie

Akaashi Keiji

Listen, this man is so freaky on the DL,, you’re like there’s no way you can’t get a reaction out of him

So you decide to surprise your boyfriend during lunch at his internship for a top publishing company

You are so proud of him and you make him so happy:((( please

Because of this, you decide to not post the Tiktok in case it jeopardizes his career!!

He’s so excited to see you, he’s grinning and softly holding your hand to lead you back to his secret lunch spot

You: Keiji why are we in a bathroom stall

Him: bold of you to assume I have friends here

You’re like, okay not what I was expecting but I can still make this work

It’s like one of those super fancy bathrooms with a lounge area and table, so you both sit down there

Keiji goes to lock the door so it isn’t awkward if someone comes in to take a piss and you’re just stuffing your face with dick food

You made/bought his favorites and he’s so thankful to not be alone for once during his lunch break I am crying

He’s sitting next to you, eating his favorite licorice candy with his arm slung around your waist

You think it’s the perfect time to do the prank, so you start putting your plan into action

You drop your napkin onto the floor as he’s telling you about how whack his supervisor is, and you bend down to pick it up

He doesn’t really think anything of it, letting go of your waist so you can grab it, expecting you to come back to your previous position

You don’t LOL

On the ground you hold onto Keiji’s knee he do be manspreading in front of you

You hear him gulp, and then you go to tie your hair, up, looking up at him through your lashes

You: sorry I dropped my napkin 😊 let me grab that really quick

You’re not really sure how things progressed so fast, but the next thing you know he’s leaning forward, his hand is gripping your cheeks and he’s sternly staring at you,,, oh so he’s HOT hot

“Don’t tease me like that right now sweetheart”

Let me move my bangs because,,,

He brings your mouth to his, you can taste the licorice that he had been previously eating

The kiss is kind of ROUGH,, like a warning , and then he pulls away going back to his normal self, popping another licorice into his mouth

.. speechless..

You: why do you ruin my fun

Him: I will not hesitate to dick you down right here

You: you have such a way with words ❤️

Him: anyways,,, let me explain to you why I suspect my supervisor is a cancer

The video ends up being too sexual to post but are you complaining ??

[botanyshitposts]

how did you know you wanted to be a botanist? did you ever consider doing something else?

(I’m going to write this one with proper capitalization because this is gonna be long and it’s easier to read)

Ohhh yeah. Like, to be honest, if I could do ANYTHING with my life I’d probably teach people about plants, write science fiction, or teach about plants through writing science fiction. I feel a lot like a journalist walking through botany conventions and stuff, like I just want to survey everything and learn it all and talk about it, and I’m not sure if I would be good at being like, a Real Plant Scientist, despite having some VERY niche botanical interests that i would absolutely dig deep and go through the literature for (isoetes and isoetes evolution, maize, lichens, carnivorous plants of the very specific nepenthes genus, hornworts, thermogenesis, etc, if you’ve been following this blog for a while you’ve probably seen me Go Off about a ton more). I do consider myself to be an aspiring botanist, but not a researcher looking to produce data and publish. That being said, going into academia isn’t completely out of the realm of possibilities for me.

Right now, I kind of have the pipe dream of trying for a science communication grad program, or a science fiction writing program. As it stands, I’m a biology major with a plant science concentration, I’m going into my junior year of undergrad, and i’m going to declare an english minor this year. I’ve been writing sci-fi since i was 10, and I’m currently in the process of buckling down to try to get something published (on a small scale to start) and increasing my stamina to work on some substantial projects, be it fiction or nonfiction or both. If I want to take writing seriously, I figure I have to start working hard for it now. 

As for like, HOW I got into botany, it’s been a while since I’ve talked about this on here, so I should start by answering a frequent question I get: most botanists stumble into botany. Like, they go down a path with animals or ecology or another biological field, and then accidentally fall in love with them. Not everybody is like, down for botany right in undergrad. Actually, a lot of people don’t think plants are very cool in undergrad. I started learning at 15, and I get asks sometimes that are like ‘I’m 17, am I too old to get into botany?’ like dude RARELY do you see botanists younger than 20 lmao you are NEVER too old for that shit. Plants have the disadvantage of being static beings in the peripheral of our everyday lives until you start paying attention to them (a phenomenon colloquially referred to as ‘plant blindness’ in the botany/horticulture communities), so they tend to get sidelined in K-12 education and are easily overlooked in general. 

I got into botany through an unpaid high school internship program. Fun fact, before all this I was passively thinking about becoming a zoologist, and what a disaster that would have been. I signed up to help out in a local greenhouse and was immediately blasted by how fucked up ornamental plants are. Specifically, I remember a time when my mentor was like, ‘do you want to see what $1,000 worth of plants looks like?’ and of COURSE I wanted to, so he brought me down to the back of the greenhouse. $1,000 worth of seeds turned out to be about 10-15 test tubes and blank white packets in a tupperware container. He took one of the test tubes out; it was filled with bulky, lumpy looking tan seeds. He said each one grew a pot of three different types of lettuce. They were bulky because each one was three separate seeds fused together with a rubbery substance that companies apply to make the seeds easier for robotic potting arms to pick up. It’s wild shit. I was a big fan of Jurassic Park at the time. As you can imagine, my third eye had been absolutely blasted open and I’ve never been the same.

From there I started volunteering in a community greenhouse, then I got obsessed with plants that heat up (thermogenic plants) and ended up teaching myself a ton off of wikipedia and from anything that wasn’t behind a paywall to understand what the hell I was reading about, then got some money from an extended learning program at my school to do a research project with it, and then my extended learning teacher had me submit my research to a science competition, and after that I got chosen to give a presentation at said competition and to be completely honest I completely blacked out for 15 minutes and can only remember crying on stage at the end about how much I loved Eastern Skunk Cabbages (my subject for the project), and THEN I went onto the National competition in San Diego and THAT was wild because in retrospect WOW my project sucked data and hypothesis-wise, and THEN I spent a summer doing manual labor for an industrial maize breeding facility which was wild, and after that I went to college and got invested in lichens and isoetes and all that wild shit and that’s where I am now. Last summer I went to the BSA conference in Manchester and the ICPS conference in California, both of which I liveblogged on here. They were awesome. Like holy shit. 

As for the history of this blog: I started this blog when I was...god, 15 or 16 I think, when I first was going hog wild getting obsessed with plant stuff I absorbed off the internet. My parents and friends got very tired of my infodumping very fast. I’d been a tumblr user for a couple years already, so I made this blog to talk about stuff so I wouldn’t annoy people irl, and now it’s turned into like, wow. This(tm). Which is wild. 

I get a lot of questions too about like, jobs in botany, and how to get further in botany, and I never really know how to answer them because I’m still figuring it out myself. My number one biggest source of botany information, to be completely honest, is asking people, and talking to people in horticulture and botany positions and bugging them with questions (I first learned about isoetes while talking to a couple grad students around a campfire on a BSA fern foray. One was wearing an isoetes convention hat, and they were all kind of struggling to explain them to me when I asked, which of course got me obsessed immediately because when a plant in general is difficult to explain you know it’s some cursed shit. It then took me a semester of college to begin to understand them, and yes, they are just That Cursed and also INCREDIBLY underrepresented and understudied in the literature). 

Idk how to end this but yeah thank you guys for asking me questions and supporting my shitposts and stuff all these years. It’s made me a better science communicator than I could have ever imagined it would make me, and I’m still learning a ton from it. I’m moving back to college tomorrow. I will finish this post with a picture of a hornwort (anthocerotophyta), the slimiest of the cursed lads: 

[bigskydreaming]

Speaking of Riley and other friends who are excellent, allow me to take a moment to pimp some of their books if anyone’s got some spare coin and is looking for good reads while on lockdown.

Noteworthy by Riley Redgate

It’s the start of Jordan Sun’s junior year at the Kensington-Blaine Boarding School for the Performing Arts. Unfortunately, she’s an Alto 2, which—in the musical theatre world—is sort of like being a vulture in the wild: She has a spot in the ecosystem, but nobody’s falling over themselves to express their appreciation. So it’s no surprise when she gets shut out of the fall musical for the third year straight. But then the school gets a mass email: A spot has opened up in the Sharpshooters, Kensington’s elite a cappella octet. Worshiped . . . revered . . . all male. Desperate to prove herself, Jordan auditions in her most convincing drag, and it turns out that Jordan Sun, Tenor 1, is exactly what the Sharps are looking for.

Rio’s got two other books you should also check out, I just grabbed this one at random because they’re all great (though its actually ‘7 Ways We Lie’ that’s my personal fave because Reasons).

Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack and kill her best friend Saengo.

And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life.

Unveiled as the first soulguide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soulguide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

This one is the start of a new duology and doesn’t actually come out until June 23rd, but Lori’s got a couple other books out already that are also worth the read. Her Infinite series starts with Gates of Thread and Stone and has the first two books out, there will be a concluding third volume still to come. But I’m lucky enough to have gotten to read Forest of Souls in advance cuz Nyah nyah (I’m so mature, phear my age and wisdom) and its by faaaaar my favorite of hers to date, including more than just the other two books she’s had published so far, and just look at that cover. Ugh. I love it so much. 

(It wasn’t her original cover, actually, they originally wanted to go with this cover of Suck that made me go umm how do you say “Eww” in polite, and authors have little to no feedback they can give on the cover, but Lori took a shot and sent in some examples of other cover artists she really liked and thought had styles fitting her image of the book better, and they picked one of the ones she sent and commissioned a whole new cover, and voila, ended up going with the above cover in all its spooky, thematically ominous glory.) 

On The Edge of Gone by Corinne Duyvis

A thrilling, thought-provoking novel from one of young-adult literature’s boldest new talents. January 29, 2035. That’s the day the comet is scheduled to hit—the big one. Denise and her mother and sister, Iris, have been assigned to a temporary shelter outside their hometown of Amsterdam to wait out the blast, but Iris is nowhere to be found, and at the rate Denise’s drug-addicted mother is going, they’ll never reach the shelter in time. A last-minute meeting leads them to something better than a temporary shelter—a generation ship, scheduled to leave Earth behind to colonize new worlds after the comet hits. But everyone on the ship has been chosen because of their usefulness. Denise is autistic and fears that she’ll never be allowed to stay. Can she obtain a spot before the ship takes flight? What about her mother and sister? When the future of the human race is at stake, whose lives matter most?

Cory is actually one of my oldest friends lmao, like, I first met her through another writing friend when we both roleplayed on this messageboard X-Men: Evolution RPG over fifteen years ago, and just....somehow never lost track of each other through all our various hyper-fixations and divergent fandoms and even with years-long ‘vanishing from the internet’ periods by yours truly (I am was mysterious and enigmatic, hear me roar). This is actually her third published novel? Or maybe second, I forget the order....her first, Otherbound, is great too, she’s written a Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in novel for Marvel, and she’s got her next book, “The Art of Saving the World” coming out this September, and its soooo good and head-trippy and the premise is so mindfucky that I have no idea how she pulled it off as well as she did and its great and you will love it or you will answer to me (lol no you won’t, I am all talk, I bruise like a peach, don’t doxx me yo). But On The Edge of Gone remains my personal fave of hers, Denise is an in-text disabled autistic black girl and suuuuuuch a fantastic main character, and her love for her family against the backdrop of an apocalypse actually in its on-going stage, no post about it, is like.....unfortunately a little too prophetic in various ways, lolol, but like, timely as hell and resonates. 

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee

Welcome to Andover, where superpowers are common, but internships are complicated. Just ask high school nobody, Jessica Tran. Despite her heroic lineage, Jess is resigned to a life without superpowers and is merely looking to beef up her college applications when she stumbles upon the perfect (paid!) internship--only it turns out to be for the towns most heinous supervillain. On the upside, she gets to work with her longtime secret crush, Abby, whom Jess thinks may have a secret of her own. Then theres the budding attraction to her fellow intern, the mysterious “M,” who never seems to be in the same place as Abby. But what starts as a fun way to spite her superhero parents takes a sudden and dangerous turn when she uncovers a plot larger than heroes and villains altogether.

I actually met C.B. on tumblr here, via this account, thanks to a mutual mutual, which just goes to show you never know who you might end up meeting on tumblr dot hellsite dot org, and only after that fact did we find out that we had various other mutual friends from our writing/publishing circles of friends, including Cory, lolol, so y’know....small world. But this series has three books out, with a fourth to come, and its such awesome fun, with superpower hijinks galore, an Asian protag and tons of LGBTQ+ supporting characters, trans superheroes, and compelling plots. She’s also writing Ben 10 comics for Boom! Studios, a comic book company that does original content but also publishes a ton of licensed properties like various other cartoons like Ben 10, the Power Rangers, etc, etc. And this reminds me there’s a certain story she was working on the last time we met up for coffee like, lololol probably three years ago now, which means I am way overdue to bug her about it and ask “Is it done yet is it done yet can I read it yet is it done yet” because I am a paragon of patience and a bastion of self-control, obvsly.

Anyway, here endeth the pimping of my friends, go forth and buy ye their novels, verily and such. Or y’know. Don’t. If you don’t want to be cool, I guess. Nerds. (LOL no but if you like my content and posts and topics I think you stand a better than average likelihood of enjoying at least one of the books by the aforementioned ladies, and you’d be supporting LGBTQ+ authors as there’s nary a straight among them. LOL, like I would ever have straight friends, hahahaha could you imagine, what would we even do).  

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Have you ever wanted to write and publish any original works? If so, any ideas of what they would be about?

Omg yes. I actually was writing original works before I got into fanfiction. I had one story planned out and had even begun writing it, but like I said in my writing process question, when I outline stuff I lose inspiration. I just couldn’t keep writing it. I turned to fanfiction as a distraction and then suddenly I was writing it lmao. 

But I do have an idea for an original story that I would love to write. I’ve only told about 5 people, including my sister, what the idea is. I don’t want to give out many details but it would be mystery, preternatural aspects and a very unbothered protagonist. 

I’m going to answer a few more questions just to make sure I get them all.

^ Hello! I’m doing great, thank you. Even woke up ready to write. Hopefully, I can do some more later today, but I’m happy with the little I did do. I hope you are well!  

^ Like an actual dream or more like a life dream? Shks idk if I can remember much of my dreams enough for them to be a favorite. I liked one where I fell in love through many reincarnations, that was neat. But if you meant life dream, that has changed over the years. There was one time when I wanted to be a Pharmacy Technician, and I went to school and did a long ass internship but I never finished it. I wanted to do nails at one time too, I used to have so much fun designing my nails. Now I think I would just like to write. That’s all I really want to do. thank you @harleyhype for the question!

^ Omg that one is so hard. I have so many movies I like, and I think they change when I remember them. lmao my memory is so bad that I forget a lot until I see it mentioned again. Star Wars holds a special place in my heart, but I also like The Matrix, National Treasure, Legally Blond, Back to the Future, and many many more. I don’t think I’ll say this one is my favorite, but when I watched A Walk to Remember it changed me lmao. That movie ruined me for any other sad movie. Like I will never watch another sad thing as I live because I was so gutted after that one. But despite that, that movie stuck with me and I liked it even through the damn tears. Thank you @princessofweirdos for the qustion!

It used to be hot cheetos, I could eat them every day. But it started to make me sick. If I even eat a handful I am sick for three days after. During the eating, I am fine and it’s heaven, but then I have to pay for it later. So I avoid them now. Crushing really lmao. I like chocolate, too much, but I have always liked KitKats. Hmm I think currently, it would be Muddy Buddies (Puppy Chow). Wow, I just realized how unhealthy my snacks are 😬😬 Thank you for the question @lavenderkidd 

[whatafirefeelslike]

so wild that exactly 2 weeks ago i applied to a job i was not expecting a response from whatsoever--then had a first interview last week, and a second interview (via a landline in england lmao) on tuesday...and as of yesterday morning, finished with the interview process by sending an assignment the second guy had me do (a reader’s report due friday, but i sent it in thursday morning. technically like 6 am EST time lol). so now i wait. and best case scenario, i have a job waiting for me in the states when i come back in october. but i’m also a little bitter and upset w myself.

the reason why i’m at oxford is to do a book publishing class. frankly i feel as though i have a good handle on publishing at this point, with my undergrad education and multiple internships (i technically did 4 internships as an undergrad, not including the one i did after i graduated). but my understanding from school, and how this course was marketed, was that it’s a necessary stepping stone into publishing. the woman who runs it knows Everyone, and learns of job openings before they go public. so it feels as though i bought an exclusive ticket into networking, which not everyone can afford. and at this point it doesn’t seem like i need it. i actually got this interview because the first man i interviewed with knows the woman i interned with last summer. and having a big house’s name on my resume already gives me a leg up. other professionals had told me during my first internship that the course isn’t totally necessary...but i went ahead and applied, etc, and here i am.

i’m trying to justify it bc 1) excuse to go back to england, 2) having access to this network is still really good and important and helpful!!! and 3) i’m still def going to learn things. like i didn’t really know how to do a reader’s report, i googled it and got a decent idea but then i received an assignment from the course to do a reader’s report with clearer instructions as to how to do a reader’s report! v convenient! 

and i’ve had this dream of living and working in the UK. and this course will connect me w UK publishing. this summer i was kind of iffy about it bc i love NYC too. now that i’m back in london i’ve fallen in love again and don’t want to go back (it’s been yrs since i’ve been to central park, but all of london’s parks [regent’s, kensington gardens/hyde park, even st. james’s park] put it to shame)...but the logistics are so tough. especially w brexit lmao. i was in westminster yesterday and passed by a bunch of clowns holding up street signs saying “Clowning St,” had a good laugh!

idk. it’s so much to think about. it’s my future, my whole life unfurling into i don’t know what. i don’t even know if i want this job if i get it--it’s pretty intimidating, and i don’t think i really vibed with the second guy i spoke w. tho also i was jetlagged af. idk. idk. idk

[sunnyborabora]

Alpha (Jungkook x Reader) Chapitre 3

Y/n is a powerful alpha. Nothing bad in fact except for the fact that she is a female alpha, something so rare that only a few are existing at the same time. Despite this, she is living her life as she wants, until she met Jeon Jungkook. An omega that wants everything but being what he is. They are undoubtedly attract to each other, but they don't seem to know why. As they are trying to start a relationship they have no idea that bigger forces have already planed something.

Yoooooooooo, what’s up my babies ? 1 month... Don’t blame me please... Adult life had been kicking my ass since I got my first job (I need money lmao). But I am back !My contract is over at the end of the week and I’ll be free again! I’ll have more time to write! Next thing I am going to publish is a one shot about Minseok (I miss EXO) and I’ll update this fic soon too! This chapter is.... Well I don’t know... Hope you’ll enjoy it! Take care of yourself, eat well, sleep a lot (not like me lmao) and don’t hesitate to come and talk to me ! 

--------

Jungkook was surprised when he didn't see Y/n the next Monday. She wasn't there with Yoongi at lunch to see him, and when he asked if she was just eating with one of her friend he told him she wasn't in class this morning. He was a bit worried but Yoongi did not seem to care.

« Do you know why ? -No I don't, it's not like she was telling me her life or something... Go ask her friends. -But I don't know them... -You know Hana, she is in philosophy with Namjoon just go ask her she'll tell you. » Jungkook was not sure if he must do it or not. It was okay. She had the right not be in class, she may be sick, or she may be working at her internship. He sent her a text asking if she was okay. She did not answer. He went to class but he could not concentrate. He was not really feeling well since Friday night. He had not talked about what happen to any of his friends, they would have snap. But he kissed Y/n and that was really cool. But now she was missing and maybe it was because he had made a mistake. Maybe the kiss was lame, and she did not want to see him ever again. He decided after his afternoon class to go see Namjoon. He tried when he spotted the tall man to stay casual and not to seemed too interest. « Oh, Jungkook, what are you doing here ? -I am here to see you hyung, of course. -You, you're a mean kid... Lying to your hyung like this.... » Jungkook didn't know how to lie. « Technically I am here to see you... Because Yoongi hyung told me you were in the same class as Hana... -What do you want from her ? -She is friend with Y/n … -You're such a fake friend... You are absolutely not here for me... » Jungkook shrugged at Namjoon and this one just started walking again. « She must be this way... » And indeed, Hana was talking with a group of people : «So this is why Bergson see the word « Intelligence » as the capacity that have living subject to adapt. It is not a question of self consciousness or something. His thesis is that everything we lived, is conserved in us under the form of memories. There is a presence of everything that we ever lived in us, that can't be lost. It is the beginning of computer when he wrote this so it's a parallelism with the human brain... -Hana ? -Joon ? What do you want ? Oh Jungkook ! -Hello Noona -Oh you must be here because Y/n is not. -Yeah...I was just wondering if she was okay... -She is a bit sick. She is not going to be here this week, but call her in the afternoon, I think she'll feel better. » Jungkook really hoped it was okay. Hana did not seem to worry in the slighest, she was laughing with Namjoon, talking about their class, and something about a person called Arendt that he could not comprehend. « She'll be fine don't worry, she'll return next week. » He left on those words, ready to return to his apartment. He took the bus, for the first time in a week and had all his time to think. He thought about his exam that were soon to arrived and that he was sure to fail, about that alpha from Friday and finally he thought about Y/n again. He entered his apartment and was not surprised to see Jimin and Taehyung on his couch, playing some random video games. He was happy, he didn't want to be alone right now. « Jungkookie ! There is nothing to eat ! -Return to your home then... -This is how you welcome your friends ! -You're the second person today who tell me that I am ungrateful, stop it. -Maybe it's because it's true » He threw a pillow at Jimin, who was now laughing. « You're the ungrateful ones here ! It's my house, I do what I want ! » They just laughed even more. « You're lucky you're living on your own ! » Jungkook did not answer as he took something in the fridge. « So what you're playing ? » They started a game, and after loosing three times Jimin was done with it. « Honestly... -Practiced makes perfect -You're such a nerd.... » Taehyung passed some ramen bowl to the two others. « You know what happened in my class today ?, Jimin said swallowing a bite of kimbap -You always have rumors to spread like this... -It is not a rumor, I saw it happened ! You know Jaebum ? -Yeah, he is good friend with Bambam and Jinyoung. -Yeah well he beat the shit out of an alpha in the middle of the class today. » Jungkook was surprised. Jaebum was more of an awkward, nice beta. He could not imagine the other guy fight. « What happened ? -Jaebum is friend with Yugyeom since they're children, and a douch may have harassed him a little bit. I am not repeating all the homophobic and anti omega words he used but this guy is fucked up. -Who was the other guy ? -An alpha. Don't know is name. -What's the deal with alphas lately... » Jimin and Taehyung turned in his direction. « What do you mean ? -Nothing. Just that it is not the first time I heard a story like that... -And it is not the last. The dorms are secure and I have to say that their system is pretty good, but we are not protected during class. -If alpha knew how to control themselves maybe we would not need protection. -If it was as simple... » Jungkook could not control himself : « It is so easy to be an Alpha ! Because of your nature people are excusing you for everything you are doing ! If you are a douch well it is fine because you are an alpha. And when you are an omega and that you are assaulted by some asshole it is because you've been looking for it and that you should be grateful for it. » Jimin did not say anything. As an omega he knew more than anyone what was the price of presenting as that. « They are not all like this... But they all have this privilege... -I know they are not... But this is not normal... -What happened to Jaebum ?, asked Taehyung, trying to lightened the mood -Well they've been convoked at the president office. Jaebum is not expelled but neither is the other alpha. -He isn't ? -No... He is considered as the victim, so they kinda forgave the fact that he is a homophobic asshole. -What the heck... -Yeah..... » Jimin and Taehyung finished their ramen and decided to leave. Jungkook was tired and wanted to sleep more than anything. He could not think of anything except the conversation he just had and what happened some days ago. He wanted to sleep and it was only 8 pm. It was like something had sucked out all his energy. He tried to study but it was useless. He did not remember anything. He decided to call Y/n because, Hana told she would feel better in the evening. « Hello ? -Hi Noona, It's Jungkook -Yeah I know, how are you ? » Her voice was quiet and a bit shallow. « I am fine. And you are you okay ? I didn't see you today and Hana told me I could call you this evening when you would feel a bit better. -Yeah I am a bit sick, but I feel a bit better now. I won't go to class this week tho … -Is it this bad ? -No it is nothing ! It's just that it's a bit handicapping. But I'll be back next week. -Oh okay. » Jungkook told her about his day. About Jimin and Taehyung. And about what happened with Jaebum. « Well I don't really know Jaebum, I know Jackson because, it's difficult not to be friend with Jackson. But for what I remembered he did not seem like someone who'll fight.

-Yeah me neither. -But we all know that Yugyeom is his mate even if they are not a couple. He reacted to protect his mate. Totally understandable, I would do the same. -They are mated ? -Not yet but give it a year again, and they are married » Jungkook laughed. « I am happy that you called me. I wanted to apologize. -For what ? -I kissed you and then I disappeared for the week end and I wasn't in class this morning. -Oh -I swear Jungkook I am not playing with you. I don't want you to think of me as another douchbag alpha. -I am not Noona. -I am kinda ashamed of myself... For Friday... -Why ? » He could hear her sighing at the other end. « Deep, deep down, I wanted to find this guy and kill him. -You did not... -Yeah but it was harder than usually to control myself. It kinda scared me. And I was scared to scare you. -You did not » he said again, with a quieter voice this time. « You can handle yourself. You're probably stronger than I am anyway. -Thank you Noona -I didn't do anything -You're trusting me. Even if I am an omega. You don't make me feel inferior to you. -I have no reason to make you feel inferior. I am an alpha, well yeah, and you are an omega. There are no differences in our human nature that force you to submit to me. -You're the only person I know that is making such a difference between their wolf and themselves. -We are pretty much in harmony. My wolf want things and I want them too, I am just not forcing my way through it. Alpha should control themselves. -Yeah... -Jungkook if you want to talk about what happened, text me, call me whatever you want, okay ? » Jungkook did not say anything. « Jungkook, I-I have to leave, I am... feeling a bit tired. Good night. -Good night » Y/n hang up immediately. When she had seen his name on her screen she hesitated a long time before answering. She was not sick. Well not really. Her rut had kinda surprised her though. Her cycle was pretty regular. So when she woke up sweating, a burning hash in the pit of her stomach. She didn't understand at first. But it was obviously because of Jungkook. The kid had not done anything and Y/n was kinda feeling like a pervert. But here she was in front of her tv, watching a star treck movie, she did not remember which, a bag of ice on her stomach. It was not the pick of her rut. This morning had been a nightmare, but she was okay now. As okay as she could be. « Are you going to be fine ? -Yeah, go away -Do you want me to stay at Joon's -It's your house too, I'm not gonna make you leave -I'll come back after class then -Yeah yeah » Hana had left her, a gentle smile on her face. Y/n was simply grumpy. Sexually frustrated for sure, and it wasn't helping her mood. It was the first time since she was 18 that she will spend her rut alone. She knew she could. A lot of alpha were sleeping with other omegas or betas even if they were in a relationship. It was okay. They were alphas and everyone would simply say that they could not do anything against it. It was obviously all bullshit. Even if she was not in a relationship with Jungkook. Or were they ? She didn't want any other omega than him. And there was no way that she would ask him that. The idea of just mating him was enough to send her over the edge. She had spent her day in her couch or in her shower. She ate ice cream, not the best but everything was so hot, even if it was freezing outside. She never drunk that much water in her life. At the end of the day she was as much as a mess she thought she would be. …... Y/n did not indeed return for a week. Jungkook was so busy that he did not really have time to miss her. His basketball practice were more intense, and he tried to concentrate a bit more on his class. He spent all his time with his basket ball team or at the library. He ever had been this productive before. « Eat healthy ! You should buy meat, it is good for people who are practicing a lot of sports. -But Noona, meat is expensive... -Just wait for me to be back, and we'll go grocery shopping. -You are not my mom. -Jeon Jungkook don't be stubborn. » He called her every evening, and she seemed to feel better every time. When she came back on Monday, Jungkook was happy to see her, and even if they had not been separated for a long time, he had the impression that it had been an eternity. « Oh Jungkook ! You grew up so much my child ! -Noona, stop... -Yeah he may be growing up but you're aging Y/n -Shut up Hana... » They did not have that much time to talk because Y/n had miss a lot of classes and had a lot of things to catch up, but he was just happy to know that she was back. Anyway Jungkook spend his day to the library, he was quite ashamed to admit that now that everything was back to normal, he could concentrate on his studies a bit more. He was writing something in his textbook about Biochemistry when someone grabbed his shoulders. « Keep calm Jungkook it's just me ! -Noona you scared me... -Sorry, sorry » Her cheeks and nose were flushed from the outside cold. She was wearing a big yellow scarf, hiding half of her face. « I thought you had work to do ? -I do. This is why I am at the library. -Oh, yeah... » She put down her text book and looked at him. « Am I disturbing you ? I am sorry I just came and sat down without even asking you if you wanted to be alone... -No I don't want ! You are not disturbing me... » And they just started working. Y/n was looking through her notes, turning the pages of a book about XX th century music while highlighting some parts. She probably had an essay to do. Jungkook wondered what it was about. Was Y/n favorite time period the XX th century ? Or was it just for class ? « Aren't you supposed to work ? » His head fall off his hand. « I am taking a break... -Really ? » She laughed. It was adorable, making his wolf howl inside him. « What are you suppose to study ? -Biochemistry and anatomy ... -Wow... I know nothing about this. I don't even know the name of all my fingers. » Jungkook wheezed at that. « It's pretty easy but... There is something wrong with my memories I swear... I can't remember anything. -Have you tried doing flash cards  . -Yeah... It's pretty useless for me... -Okay...Well I have a technic, but we can't do that in the library. -What is it ? -You look like someone who need motivation to learn, I'll give you motivation. -You're going to cheer for me or something ? -Not really, except if it's what you want. I still have a cheerleader outfit from high school if you want. » Jungkook blushed hard, gaping like a fish. Y/n would look extra cute in a cheerleader outfit. It was also super kinky but... « I am joking Jungkook relax. -Yeah, of course... »

And this is how they decided to head to his flat. Y/n sat down on the couch, his book in her hands, her legs crossed under her body as she was facing him. He tried not to panic, not to squirm too much from the other hand of the couch, but what if something happened ? What if they kissed again or something ? He would love that honestly but the pressure was big. « So are you ready ? » Jungkook gulped. Fuck he wanted this, but he was so nervous that if he wasn't contracting every muscle in his body he would be shaking like a leaf. « Y-Yeah.... -Relax, it's not a big deal » she laughed « So what are the rules ? -It's the simplest thing ever ! I am asking you question and if you answer well you'll get treat. -And if I don't answer well ? -A punishment obviously. » Punishment ? What type of punishment ? It was not like he had not fantasized about Y/n spanking him or something but... « What type of punishment ? -You'll see. » Jungkook could not stop a squeal escaping from his mouth. That was embarrassing. « Let's begin ! she said excited, so, anatomy breaks the human abdomen down into segments called... -Quadrants. -That's right » She came closer to him. It was not helping him to concentrate at all but his heart started to flutter and it felt good. Her scent was everywhere around him, and the closer she was the more distinctly he could feel the heat of her body. « Give me an example of humans homeostasis. -Fluid balance. -Yes » She came a bit closer. Their knees almost touching now. « Nervous tissue is specialized in ? - Teach the person to relax... -Nope ». Then she moved back to the other side of the couch and Jungkook understood. It was so cruel. What type of punishment was that. « It was to react to stimuli -But... -No but. You were wrong -It's cruel... -Hm You think so ? » She was reading his book, thinking about another question. « Joins are an example of what within the musculoskeletal system ? I didn't even know that word existed … -Connective tissue ? -Yes » She smiled at him repeating her earlier game. « Isometric resisted hip flexion will affect the pectineus through ? -Autogenic inhibition. -Indeed, function testing of the glenohumeral joint reveals restriction with a stretch end-feel in external rotation, which muscles would you stretch ? -Anterior deltoid, lattisimus dorsi and pectoralis major... -Yes ! » He could feel his memory actually working, looking in his brain for the answer. « You see you're actually thinking. » Her breath was on his lips as they were now sharing the same air. « Most of the people just need some motivation and a buddy to work with to succeed. -Thank you -You're welcome. I had no idea of what you were talking about but hey it was interesting ! -Noona -Yeah ? -My treat. -You seem impatient » He didn't say anything but as she started to lean closer to him and Jungkook body was almost vibrating. What was that ? Was it normal ? Were people supposed to react like this when they were kissed ? Was he just weird ? When her lips touched his, he melted. His wolf howled inside his body and a connection, a bound, connecting their body. It wasn't normal, it wasn't supposed to be like that but it felt so good, so right. « Jungkook are you okay ? -Y-Yeah, I.... -It's just a kiss baby. -It feels good Noona... -Oh... » That was embarrassing. « I forget everything was new for you. Are you okay ? - Yeah, I am perfectly fine » She smiled and returned to the kiss, this time a little bit stronger. She bit into his lower lip, soothing the sting with her tongue. It felt good, Jungkook was feeling tingles everywhere in his body. He opened his mouth allowing her to enter and as she started exploring his mouth, a whimper escaped him as she sucked on his tongue. She moaned in response the vibration transferring from her lips to his causing shivers to run down his spine. When she drew away from him, a thin line of saliva still connecting their mouth. It was so dirty. « Baby, you're all flushed... -Noona... -You wanna try something else ? » He nodded violently, trying to sit up straight, but she pushed him down again. « Tell me if you want to stop... -I don't want to. -I didn't do anything yet babe... »

Her lips touch his again and it was like an electric currant was running through his body. Her lips slipped away from his mouth kissing his jawline, and his neck. « Fuck... Y/n... » She hummed slightly, sucking on the skin just below his ear, her hot tongue licking the sensitive skin at the same time. It was so good, feeling her so close, her body so hot, on top of him. He was feeling protected. What could he be worried about when his mate was sucking at his skin. The moment she hovered around that peculiar spot. His scent gland. « Y/n ! Please ! More... » She licked him, making him moan, but not using her teeth once. It was driving him crazy. He wanted this so bad, for her to seek her teeth into his skin, to mark him, make him hers forever. He was growing hard by the second. He was trembling, and he could hear her growl at that. But finally, she stood up. She was panting slowly, looking at him, admiring how he was a mess. « Baby... I... -Jungkook ! Open the door ! » Jungkook jolted out of his trance. What the fuck was that ! « Jimin ! What are you doing here ! » Y/n stood up, trying to adjust her clothes, her skirt way too high on her thighs. Jungkook gulped at that but walked toward the door. « What do you want ? -What were you doing... You look like a mess », Jimin laughed but stop when he saw Y/n. « Y/n ! What ? Oh my god !! -Please don't... » Y/n simply laughed. « Noona please ! -Sorry sorry ! I am going to leave now. Leaving you alone. » She grabbed her bag and her coat and walk toward the door. « See you tomorrow ! -Wait Y/n ! Do you want to come with us tonight ? We are going out in a bar, just to chill. » Jungkook looked at her expectantly. He wanted her to come, but he was cursing at Jimin internally for not asking him before. He didn't want to impose her anything. « Yeah for sure. I have to return to my flat first but I'll be there. Just send me a text. » She smiled and leave. « Jeon Jungkook, you bitch, tell me everything ! »

They arrived at the bar at 7. It wasn't crowded, and they easily find Namjoon, Hoseok et Yoongi. They had ordered some beer and cocktails. Jungkook sat next to Taehyung just in front of Y/n who was already chatting with Namjoon. They started drinking and Jungkook knew he should go slow but it was so fun. He was surrounded by people he loved, they were all happy.  «Well hello... Jungkook lifted his head to see, two guys and a girl in front of their tables. The guys were lurking at someone behind him and the girl had a sick smile on her face.  "Who are you ? -Doesn't matter. All I know is that there are two fine ass omegas here, and I am pretty sure that none of you would object if we take them out of here ? » Jungkook tensed up. It was this guy from the basket ball game again. Why was the situation this fucked up ? « Look at you sweety... -I don't know who you are but you should leave » Hoseok voice was as cold as ice, even Jungkook who was friend with him since forever had never heard that tone. « I don't think so. I don't want to. I am having too much fun right now, right... » He pointed his arm at Y/n. She didn't answer she didn't even look at him. She seemed unfazed. « So what playing cold sweetheart ? I wouldn't fuck you anyway... -That's enough …. » Yoongi was tensing up from the other end of the table. His eyes were yellow, his fist clenching over the table. « What's the deal alpha. Wanna fight ? » Yoongi was ready to stand up but Y/n stoped him : « You should leave... Right now... -Stop giving me orders, you bitch, like what are you even... Some nature mistake or something.. » His dumb friend laughed behind him. Jungkook was feeling so humiliated. He wasn't the one being insulted, but he was so angry, he couldn't stand this. Why wasn't she saying anything ! « Leave her alone ! What's wrong with you ! » He could not help it. His blood was boiling in his veins. He couldn't even see things clearly. « Jungkook stop... » He wanted to fight, he wanted, to kick the ass of the guy who was insulting the girl he loved. Someone grabbed his hand, Jimin was clenching his wrist hard, not allowing him to go further. « So he can be a douch and nobody is going to tell him anything abut it ? What the fuck ! -Jimin is right. Sit down Jungkook » Y/n had been silent all his time and Jungkook was even more furious. « And you, what's so unsatisfying about your life that you have to devote your time to make other people inferior ? Is that an ego problem ? Did your mama failed you when you were a child so you have to spread you masculinity all over us ? How pitiful » Everyone was silent. Until the guy threw his glass at her. The entire content splashing over her face. Namjoon stood up suddenly at the same time than Hoseok. « Look at you... Who's pitiful now... » And they left. Namjoon checked on Y/n, Hoseok giving her a tissue to clean herself. Jungook knew he should be checking if she was okay. But he was blinded by anger, his rage tacking the best of him. « What was that ? » Y/n turned around, watching him, her eyes being the same color as before. So she wasn't affected by this at all ? « You didn't even stand for yourself ? Why were you playing weak ! What didn't you defend yourself ? » She returned her gaze on the glass she was holding in her hand. « Jungkook it's really not the moment... I think you don't realized well... -I do... He is right... You're pitiful right now... -Jungkook ! » Everyone was watching him. Most of them in shock, some with anger in their eyes. « I have nothing to do here... I am leaving... » And he left. The only thing he heard was shattering glass in the background, but he did not take time to watch. He was already gone.

[moirasimagines]

closer | william (westworld) x reader

a kiss prompt from @transowenharper turned into a full-fledged one shot lmao. william’s shitty evening takes a turn for the better when the reader shows up.

word count: 1,900

warnings: none!

you’d been out of grad school for about two years. it was a strange, almost liminal space. gone were the sleepless nights penning your thesis and the grueling internships and the bullshit. you hardly knew how to live without all of it. the universe, however, was keeping its eye on you.

there was new bullshit to deal with now, thank you very much.

you had never really been lucky in love. it was frustrating. people were always supportive, telling you that eventually you’d meet the right person, or that everyone was foolish not to see how special you were. you did your best to believe them–– you did believe them, usually.

sometimes, though, it was difficult.

for instance, tonight your roommate had dragged you out to a bar, insisting you give it a go even though all you could think about was the profile you were working on for the end of the month.

it was about a man named logan delos, the heir to an incredibly successful business empire. once he realized you had no interest in sleeping with him, he began to blow you off almost without fail. you ended up spending more time with his brother-in-law, william. he, at least, had no ulterior motives, being engaged to logan’s sister. and he actually seemed interested in helping you get something published.

even so, you felt like the biographer of a biographer. the more william told you about logan, the more you knew about william. you’d begun to toy around with the idea of taking an entirely new angle to your editor: delos incorporated’s inside outsider. you were sure they’d laugh you out of the office if not the building itself.

it made you crazy, how little recognition someone like william got in the business world. he was genuine and smart and kind. he was a rare breed, and you seemed to be the only one who could recognize it. the logan deloses of the world would never capture your readers’ hearts the way william could. the way he’d captured yours.

but he was engaged, and so you didn’t give it a further thought.

well… sometimes you did. he didn’t seem all that happy. he hardly spoke about his finacé, and when he did, it was with a conservative and withdrawn respect. it was admirable, but hardly the stuff true love was made of.

so even when you were consumed with work, a part of your heart was consumed with william. how could you resist falling for the first person in ages who really took you seriously? who seemed to think you had what it took to make it? sometimes you thought you’d never get the damn article written.

even with all that stress, there you were at the bar, perched in a corner, your roommate scanning the crowd. he knew your type all too well, and since you clearly weren’t going to do the work yourself, he spotted someone for you.

“hey,” he murmured, nudging you to get your attention. “check that guy out over there. looks like he was made for you.” you looked up half-heartedly from your drink and your eyes widened.

“jesus christ, i know him.” your roommate raised an eyebrow.

“how?”

“from work. he’s the brother-in-law of the guy i’m supposed to be writing about.”

“jeez. that explains why he looks so miserable.”

“i’m gonna go talk to him.”

“hitting on a subject? that’s bold, even for you.”

“what? no, i just want to see if he’s all right, you perv. and he’s not the subject. even if he should be.” you gave your roommate a pointed look and he chuckled at you as you walked off. you rolled your eyes at him over your shoulder, and he swiftly began looking for a place to crash overnight–– just in case you needed a little privacy later.

william was tired. he was a little sad, sure. scared, even. but above all, he was so goddamn tired. with his gaze pointed towards the ground, the tips of your shoes were what first alerted him to your presence. he looked up, already prepared to get out of someone’s way or to politely excuse himself from the bar because he was bumming out the patrons. he was surprised to look up with apologetic eyes to find you standing at his barstool.

“oh, y/n. hi,” he said straightening up and smiling. “how are you?”

“i’m all right,” you replied. “i, uh... just wanted to come check on you. i saw you over here and it... looked like you weren’t having such a good night.” you bit your lip, hoping the observation wouldn’t offend.

he nodded, half shrugging. “you got me. ah, actually... it’s not great news for either of us. james delos fired me this afternoon.” your jaw dropped.

“are you serious? your own father-in-law?” william let out a humorless chuckle.

“no, no... not for a while now, actually.” you nodded slowly, eyes wide. “they wanted to keep it quiet. less gossip. but, ah...” he simply shook his head, at a loss for words, it seemed. you had to admit, you were a little bit horrified. sliding into the stool beside him, you laid a hand on william’s shoulder.

“i’m so sorry, william. that’s... that’s really terrible.” he gave a little wave, dismissing the thought.

“eh... nothing to be done.”

“i... i mean, you could fight it! go back, tell them they can’t just fire you because your relationship didn’t work out. they can’t fire you over nepotism–– i’ve seen your work, it’s brilliant. you’re one of the most diligent people i’ve ever met!”

his smile grew wistful as he watched you speak. the fact that you became so impassioned–– especially over him, of all people–– warmed his heart.

“it wasn’t anything like that. i think more than anything, they weren’t too happy that i was speaking with you... about the profile on logan.” your eyebrows rose.

“...oh.” oh. “holy shit,” you murmured, “please tell me i didn’t get you fired.” william’s brow furrowed.

“no, no no, god. if anything, i... i think i might have gotten you fired, actually.”

you hated to admit it, but hearing that was the biggest relief you’d had in months. “i’m sorry, y/n,” he went on, “i had no idea that they would––” you shook your head.

“no, don’t apologize. that piece was sucking the life out of me. how could i write an entire, honest article praising logan’s business practices? he’s like a schmoozing, flirting, glorified test-dummy.” this made william laugh.

“well then, maybe we’re both lucky we got out when we did.”

“i’ll drink to that.” you motioned for the bartender. “two glasses of champagne, please.” william arched an eyebrow.

“what are we celebrating?”

“freedom.”

----

when you checked your phone an hour later, your roommate had graciously elected to couch surf with a friend for the night. you frowned at the screen, half annoyed that he presumed you’d be so forward with your now-former colleague and half annoyed that he was right.

“everything okay?” william asked as he tugged on his coat.

“yeah,” you said, slipping the phone into your pocket before he could see. “yeah, just... my roommate. he met someone and went home with them and wanted to let me know.” it wasn’t the furthest thing from the truth. it was half how you had expected the night to go anyway.

“well, then let me walk you home.”

“oh, no, i wouldn’t want to put you out,” you replied, feeling guiltily like you’d laid a trap and he was falling right into it.

“don’t be ridiculous. It would be my pleasure. least i can do after you bought me a drink, eh?” you couldn’t help but smile.

“well then... how can i refuse?” he grinned in return.

“that’s the spirit.”

the night was chilly, but not overwhelmingly so. your apartment wasn’t terribly far, but the walk was long enough that it gave you time to talk.

“i really am sorry that you were fired,” you said softly. “especially for any hand i might have had in making it happen.” william stopped and looked at you, shaking his head.

“you don’t need to keep apologizing. in fact, you’ve done me a favor.” you smiled a little crookedly.

“how’s that?” you asked, head tilting to the side. you squinted, trying to get a read on him. william gestured for you to forge ahead, and he followed.

“my whole life… i just wanted to make something of myself. i wanted to be normal, i wanted to be successful, i wanted to be worth something. and i spent so much time chasing this… this american dream horseshit. and it wasn’t until now that i realized it wasn’t doing a single thing to make me happy. getting fired... i thought it would be awful–– as soul-crushing as i imagined it to be.” you slowed your pace as you approached your apartment, and william followed suit. “but it was a relief.”

his eyes were practically sparkling, and they fixed on yours hypnotically. you couldn’t tell if you leaned in first, or if he did, but within moments your lips molded to his and his hands were in your hair. he kissed you sweetly, but with fervor, like you were water to a dying man. when the kiss broke so you could both breathe, he didn’t let go of you, and you didn’t want to move. your foreheads touched gently, and you let your fingers curl in the fabric of his coat.

“i’m sorry,” you murmured, despite yourself. it still felt like you were taking advantage of him, even though the feelings you had developed for him were clearly mutual. he shook his head, nose brushing delicately against yours with the gesture.

“you are… the first person…” he said earnestly and in between breaths, “to see me in my life. in the past few weeks, i’ve felt more of a connection to you than i have ever felt... with anyone. and you are the one who taught me that i needed to be brave enough–– to take a chance, and tell you.”

you were stunned for a moment, completely unsure of how to deal with such a beautiful outpouring of emotions. his grip began to loosen in your hair, hands drifting down to your shoulders. you could feel him start to hesitate, to begin to apologize, and you pulled him closer, one hand tightening around his waist and the other cupping his cheek. this kiss was deeper, more desperate, and at once you knew where william would be sleeping tonight. your lips parted again, and this time it was your turn to speak, the words turning to vapor against his lips in the cold night air.

“i see you,” you murmured, looking at him through your eyelashes. “i see you. and i want to keep seeing you for the foreseeable future. fuck everyone else–– everyone else who doesn’t see how special you are.”

“and how special you are.”

“yeah,” you replied, bolstered ever higher by his kindness. “do you… do you wanna come upstairs?”

“you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” his voice was mischievous, and he stole one more kiss before letting go of you long enough for you to unlock the door. he didn’t let you stray much further than that for the rest of the night.

[malunedyne]

aesthetic themed ask list: you know the drill fam, all of them now!

BRUUHHH IS THIS BLACKMAIL

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

will i ever be a successful writer/artist of any kind? how can i achieve that?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

being able to be grateful and enjoy small things in life even if i feel like i’m at the peak of my dysthymia (lol)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

a very random day i’m not sure why it got stuck on my head some +5 years ago when it was raining and i was outside my house, throwing lemons of my lemon tree towards the neighbors’ houses lmao

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

totally, i would start writing full time and maybe planning on doing some small trips before it

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

-visiting a foreign country (japan would be my dream)-publishing a work (either a book or a photograph in a prestigious place)-be truly in love and loved back

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

-she’s the only one who knows in EXPLICIT detail how my sublimation mechanism works, the biggest of my weakness, what makes me feel shame the most….. a college friend of mine, intellectually clever, emotionally not so much, shares big passion for the same EROS subject

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

-i can’t complain about it, i remember good things mostly, i still went outside and played but also enjoyed video games and cartoons; i was a loner but never felt lonely, my imagination compensated alla that

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

-in the first days of the year in front of my parents lol i was so done with everything

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

-i’d choose my father cause he surely would tell me some good stories or about the myths….. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

-that’s literally what going to therapy almost is lmao jks that’s not therapy well i think if i could feel reciprocated, i would

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

-3 am???? i guess it was my last best friend, but we barely think of each other now

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

-it would depend on a lot of things, honestly

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

-cute and it doesn’t give me the creeps to stare at directly, lmao (eyes too light give me anxiety to hold visual contact with)

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“A Hero must struggle!” how can you know a Hero is a Hero without trouble though? isn’t life made out of trials? A Hero must not be just a muscular, strong figure who makes physical tasks, it also speaks of mental and intern fights too..... I wrote a whole paper on this and would surely write more about it

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

-1000 reasons why thinking everything will solve by itself later is a lie and a bad idea

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

-find another place to live with my family; travel. a fucking lot. but first, give my parents what they need to solve some financial and health issues. donate to environment protection orgs, buy shittons of gaming and anime merch like the hopeless half-arsed grown adult i am

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

-I can forgive anyone but it takes some time. I like being like that, everything that hurts me i sublimate later through my writings, so even that displeasure, has a /creative/ function in my life

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.-bitchyou’re dumb as hell, but wise as fuck. you don’t give three fucks about time,enjoy it while you can. you may have encountered yourself with people who tryto hurt you, mess with you and you feel bad about yourself, but it’s not yourfault in the slightest, nor they are right. never allow them to be in controlof YOUR emotions. you need to stand for yourself and yourself only, you don’tneed to prove shit to no one. Write. Write. Write. and never stop. use everythingand turn it into words: good, bad, fears and dreams. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

both depending on the #mood

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain

piercings aren’t really my thing but I like tattoos (not hardcore-like tho), I’ve think of getting one but I get overwhelmed and my mom would kill me lol (if my siblings agreed on getting a small Triforce tattoo and each of us pick one part /i’d pick wisdom tho/, i’d be more than happy to get it done) 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I used to wear mascara (but i caught an eye infection, lol), now i just do the basics: powder and lipstick.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

uhm….. i owe led zeppelin a lot because it supported me thru the worst of my first major depressive episode, and i have a thing with Pink Floyd The Wall….. I used to listen it on repeat thru the last straw of it, so it naturally makes me feel depressive and somewhat suicidal ???? but just in thought….. I can’t listen to Dark Side of the Moon because I feel useless as well lol

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

we need to stop being arrogant, selfish and stupid enough to think everything is here to serve us; we can’t dissociate ourselves from nature and the environment as if we were self-sufficient.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

oh now this is sad lol

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

the person who will spend their life with me, and where to find them

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

uhmm….. hehe

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

i set /most of times/ my stuff for the next day, uniform; i eat/drink something and put a glass of water beside my bed, wear my pajamas, pray a little for the people i love, or render thanks for stuff, and think of my stories or some gay shit before till i fall asleep (if i’m lucky enough, i get to dream of it as well)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

-same as u fam @electroma89, I want my parents to know my interest in writing and such, just like my father does buuuuuuuuuuut the topics of my interest i doubt they’ll understand and it’s a total wild card trying to guess how they would react like

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

have u seen MCU’s Gamora? that’s how I’d wear my hair

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

-uh….. lol idk, i’ve always have wanted to go to somewhere quiet and watch the stars

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

-Peace and Love on Planet Earth….. is there anything that’s worth more?-having self discipline….. i swear to Hylia lots of my problems could be avoided that way-meet someone who loves me and i can love back….. my life has placed me in the worst places to know people, i swear…..

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

-i’ve never dressed for halloween, but i’d like to; though i can’t think of any rn lol

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

-opening up to people more than i should had

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

-hurt someone from my loved ones; steal from the poor

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

-only one song??? FUCK i couldn’t say a person, but i’m sooooo special with songs i’m not sure….. maybe Le Cygne by Camil Saint-Saens, maybe that one

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

-i’ve never been, i’ve been infatuated, but in love? as in love for real? i don’t think so

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

-i was thinking in cutting my hair real short…. i might do it next year

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

-i’d trust anyone who acknowledges i love italian sodas instead of coffee lmao

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

-getting some writings done and figuring out what to do once my internship trial is over

BRUH this is some deep shit for real omfg

[itstrixiemattel]

okay I'm sorry this was really long and rambling but i hope it helps a bit and gives you a bit of hope or whatever. anyway. yeah. I'm actually done now. (5)

(i decided to “answer” the other asks as well bc i know i have followers/mutuals on here who could def gain something from your story, just like i myself have)

thank u for sharing that with me, and don't apologize for how long it was like it meant a lot that someone would share their own journey with me on here, and your words are definitely something i can learn from. i know i get down on myself for not having my life enough remotely figured out yet, but comparing myself to family members or other people my age is just making me feel worse and tbh? not worth it at all. i guess i just care too much what others think; like when my grandma was bragging about my cousin she was so proud and it made me kinda think: what could my grandma even brag about me? which sounds dumb i know but she used to brag about my achievements when i was top of my class in high school, going to a good college, had a great internship and was able to publish my own writings online, and just going somewhere and doing something and now? theres not much to brag about lmao like i said, its very dumb but i care too much what others think and am def working on that and even more so working on me and my own journey, however long it may take and whatever it is i decide to do.

now I'm the one going on and on lol but i just wanted to say thank u bb

[labyrinthofleah]

50 More interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

(Original questions authored by @cavern-of-bells , thank you!)

Hypothetically tagged by @redpantychan​ XD

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: I'm not incredibly picky, buuuut bitter food. Like bitter melon.

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: Hiccups.

3. Have you got any useless talents?: I know Roberto Button's birthday (October 23), zodiac (cusp of Libra and Scorpio), and height (5'10") off the top of my head.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: Putting myself out there more.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: UHHHH real people? Chris Evans maybe??? Uhhh idk I don’t follow celebs at all SO Okita Souji is SO PRETTY (his eyesss) and also Hachiro Iba is so pretty. Also Olivia from FE:A, I love her hair? 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: Writing stories, playing games, reading books. ie. all the stuff I still pass the time with now that I'm 25, lol!

7. What is something you’re proud of?: I've gotten back into reading for fun, and I can see an improvement in my writing as a result.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: Intentional passive aggressiveness.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: I'm okay being both, but it really depends on the situation.

10. What kind of student are/were you?: I was a good student in high school, but I never learned how to actually study because I generally found the classes/homework pretty easy. Then I got to college. *explosion noises*

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: I started making otome parodies and posting them. XD That got me interested in learning about audio equipment/programs/techniques, which led me to apply to an audio internship at a publishing company, which led to a regular salaried position/promotions at the same company.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: I have a list. ;3; Buuuut if I had to name one, uhhh I really hate strong storms. A little lightning and thunder is cool and I enjoy wind and rain, but I tend to freak out if storm watches go out, because my mind instantly goes "NEXT STEP IS A TORNADO WARNING AND THEN EVERYONE'S DOOOOMED." I've gotten better at distracting myself when that happens, but yeah.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: The characters in Hakuoki. Not because I've ever drunk a vampiric potion or because I've been in a police force or in any conflict beyond a thumb wrestling match. But a major theme in the game is very much about personal beliefs vs. what others tell you, and struggling to adjust to sudden changes in life. I just find that despite the hot otome guys and fantasy elements, it's a very human story in that respect.

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I can't really drink a lot because of the meds I take (trust me, the “don’t take with alcohol” warnings are on the bottle for a reason), but also because of my small frame I get tipsy SUPER FAST. I get kinda relaxed and giggly when that happens. I'm an introvert, but at parties/events where I'm comfortable and excited to go, I'm usually okay talking to others, dancing, etc.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: With fictional people, I see one CG or screencap and I'm just "I'M GONNA MARRY THEM AND WE'LL HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES TOGETHER." But in real life, it takes me a while to open up to people, and I've never had a serious crush or fallen in love yet.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: One close friend. I'd rather have someone I can absolutely rely on even if we have rough patches together and have them know they can expect the same from me, rather than friends I can have fun with but they go AWOL when personal issues come up. I'm not the best at communicating, so it's a work in progress.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: When it comes to work, I am SUPER METICULOUS. I organize my files and my inbox and I write protocols for everything. But uh, if you plan to come over to hang out, let me know in advance so I can pretend my room is neat all the time, lolol.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: I imagine the common rooms at Hogwarts to be safe and cozy and warm for their respective houses. So I guess the Ravenclaw common room, since that's my house. XD

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: No kids yet, lmao. I would like kids of my own someday, but not anytime soon.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'engle. It was the book that made me go "Hey I want to write, too!"

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: fidget spinners, same as Chia. XD

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: The Story of Saiunkoku. It’s a great anime, watch iiiiit!

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: Someone who can keep their head and be optimistic, but at the same time know when I need Introvert Time(TM). 

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: Travel more.

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: If I'm with people I trust, maybe. Otherwise, nope.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: Beanie Babies. My mom once stood in a line to get one for my birthday even though looking back she definitely thought it was the stupidest craze ever, ilu Mom. XD

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: I pretended to have a crush on Lance Bass in grade school because I thought I needed a "celebrity crush" to "fit in."

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: The ability to admit when you have done something wrong, acknowledging someone else's feelings/POV, and THEN taking actual pains to not repeat it. Basically when you actively consider taking the other person in a relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, etc.) seriously more important than "being right."

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): My parents give me socks a lot. When I was a kid I was like "why" but now I'm all "YEAAHHHHH SOCKSSSS YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST." Also I get books and notebooks/pens. My college friends used to get me stuff with owl designs. 

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: English. Trying to learn Japanese on Duolingo. The language of love. Altarian.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Countryside, no doubt.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: I don't recall. I mean, I'm sure there's been lots of things, but nothing I really remember. XD;; Now I try to be more open minded when I try new things.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: I can be kinda self-conscious, but at the same time STROKE MY EGO AND TELL ME I'M FABULOUS.

34. Favorite holiday?: Christmas, because my family takes time to spend it together and I have lots of good, cozy memories associated with it.

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: My heart says go with the flow, my head says "PLAN OUT EVERYTHING OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE" (thanks anxiety).

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.): Yeah, lots of books/games. XD;; But I like to replay/reread favorite series of mine a LOT, so each time I feel like I experience it a new way.

37. What hobbies do you have?: Otome, staring at Roberto, writing fanfic/original stories, staring at Saint-Germain, reading, staring at Okita, playing piano, staring at Xander, singing.

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: Oooh, interesting question! The ability to help soothe people or help them feel a little more optimistic. It wouldn't change their life or help their situations directly, but if they're in a bad place then even just brief reprieve from feeling shitty might help their mindset.

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: People sometimes have the impression that I'm all sweetness and butterflies at first but then we break out Cards Against Humanity and I rack up a ton of black cards and they go "oh wow it's always the quiet ones."

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That nobody "figures everything out" when they "grow up," and it’s okay to go at your own pace.

41. Worst injury you’ve had?: Sprained ankle.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: *looks at angst idea backlist* idk bro, skeletons maybe so spoopy amirite. 

43. Describe your sense of humor: Puns and terrible memes.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: If we're talking about the past, then I wouldn't choose, namely because I have some health-related issues that would be hell in past eras. If we're talking about place, I've already been born in a different country than the one I was adopted into/currently live in, so I wouldn't choose a different one either because that doesn't really matter to me.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: Being patient.

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: I can’t think of anything negative that I’m glad I went through; but I can be glad I got through it and can look at things more objectively so I can work on moving on.

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): A cool, beautiful tattoo on my face. If I actually got a tattoo it wouldn't be huge and super-colorful anyway, so it would be really small, probably a little star.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: Pessimist, but I make an effort to be optimistic when I can.

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: Saying they like something I've been actively working on improving, for example my writing or my singing. Those honestly make me SO HAPPY.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: Just how deeply emotional I can get about games/books. *CLENCHES FIST*

TAGGING: anyone who wants to do this! :D