#ps. these are the only endings I’ve seen so far

[barbiedha-deactivatingsoon]

Ranking the different endings in Barbie Epic Road Trip (worst to best)

❗️might contain spoilers for some ❗️

6.) Taking the express route, making it to the Jacinda audition early but failing to get the music video job OR taking the scenic route and taking it slow with Ken at the ferris wheel.

Epilogue:

The casting director doesn’t think Brooklyn and Malibu has what it takes to be backup singers.

But she did like their energy so she made them the “Dancing Trees” in the music video (which was kinda sad ngl)

The girls hit a wall with their music career. Very disappointing considering how hard Rafa and 'The Barbies' have worked to make their pop duo group happen :(

Since neither Ken or Skipper was mention, it’s not a good outcome for me because basically everything is inconclusive

Malibu returns home to California with her new puppies, Bella and Ella, while Brooklyn goes back to New York. Their future in the music industry implied to be unclear. (Boooooo! 👎)

**Skipper and Ken are not present in this epilogue

5.) Malibu chooses to do the long song with Brooklyn and earns a record deal with a talent scout

Epilogue:

Brooklyn and Malibu end up impressing the talent scout for doing an acoustic version of Jacinda’s song ‘Flip the Script’

The talent scout signs them for a record deal but they have to move... TO LONDON!

Ken is happy for her but also sad that she'll be so far away. He gives her the sea glass bracelet anyway, telling her that she'll always have a piece of him wherever she goes. They remain friends.

The Barbies move to London, and the girls are enjoying it there because the music industry is fierce and that this deal is better than the Jacinda opportunity.

Okay this one, I didn’t like very much, because this ending doesn't not make a lot of sense. I mean I know the girls love their music careers but will they really leave their familes and friends behind and focus solely on their music 4000 miles away from home? I just think it's very out of character for them. ☹️

**Skipper and Ken are not present in this epilogue

4.) Going straight to New York from the Haunted House in New Orleans. Making it to the Jacinda audition on time and succeeding on getting the spot for the music video

Epilogue:

The casting director loves their audition and hires them to be on Jacinda's music video.

Since in this case, we missed out on a very important route with Ken, he only gives Barbie the sea glass bracelet then returns back to Malibu. Ken and Barbie remain friends.

Skipper was able to give all the dogs away, but no one invests in Match Mutts. So she returns home to work on her app (mediocre outcome)

Barbie says that she's happy she and Brooklyn are on their way to stardom but kinda disappointed she didn't have clear ending with Ken, who she's not quite sure if she's dating or not (in short, what happens to Barbie and Ken's relationship is vague and inconclusive)

** Skipper and Ken are not present in this epilogue 3.) Taking the express route, taking it slow with Ken, making it to the audition on time and getting hired for the music video job.

Epilogue:

They do a great job on the music video but they didn't get to be back up singers to Jacinda's world tour.

Malibu moves to New York. She and Brookyln await their big break which is "right around the corner" according to Rafa.

Skipper also hits it big with Match Mutts. She's now running her startup on her own back home in Malibu, and is doing great despite not getting an investment deal.

Ken doesn't move to New York because he still wants to go to the places on his bucket list. Although, he does visit Barbie a lot. They're "doing great", says Barbie, but since they decided to take things slow, they're not offically together.

This one is alright. Even though, Barbie and Ken remain friends in this ending. Atleast, they have acknowledged their feelings for one another, and will inevitably get together at some point. As for Skipper, for me this ending was kinda subpar for her.

**Skipper and Ken are not present in this epilogue

2.) Rebecca Lee agrees to invest in Match Mutts after Skipper was able to restart her app.

Epilogue:

Massive win for Skipper mostly!

Barbie returns to Malibu to help Skip run the business, and also so she can be with Ken, because he is where her heart is.

Brooklyn goes back to New York and becomes a hit solo artist.

West Coast Roberts family adopt the dogs, Bella and Ella. Plus Barbie and Ken are now happily dating! (did you guys see the way the stared at each other?)

Second favorite ending because everyone still gets their happy ending. However, it did felt off-putting to split up Brooklyn and Malibu. They began their journey to become a pop duo sensation together. With this ending, 'The Barbies' are technically done/over because they went their separate ways... so there's that to consider.

**Brooklyn is not present in this epilogue

1.) Brooklyn and Malibu are able to sing for Jacinda after Rebecca Lee arranges a private audition for them OR if they impressed her during their performance at the Vegas dance club.

Epilogue:

Both the casting director and Jacinda loved their audition and hires them to be in the music video. After that, Jacinda brings Brooklyn and Malibu along to sing back up for her world tour.

This gives 'The Barbies' the boost they needed to jumpstart their career as a pop singing duo. (lmao Otto Phoenix who?)

Jacinda adopts Bella and Ella and takes them on her world tour.

Skipper's Match Mutts business is a huge hit as well since the investor Rebecca Lee loved the vlog Malibu did with the dogs and agrees to invest on the app (taking the express route won’t unlock the scene with the investor but Skipper will still be able to drop off all the dogs and get positive reviews nonetheless).

Malibu moves to New York so that she can keep pursuing her career with Brooklyn.

KEN MOVES TO NEW YORK TOO (yaaayyy!!) so he can be with his girl (and so that they can still be together as a couple). Of course, this means Barbie is beyond thrilled! She managed to fullfil her destiny with Brooklyn and have her dream of being with Ken come true.

They all got what they wanted and everybody is super happy. To me, this ending is the best and feels the most canon-like since it satisfies the main 4's goals at the beginning of the movie. Brooklyn wanted to be in Jacinda's music video ✅ Skipper wanted her app to be a success ✅ Ken wanted to tell Barbie how he feels about her and find out if the feeling was mutual ✅ Malibu wanted to "have it all" (i.e. Ken and her music career) ✅

In terms of conclusion, overall viewer satisfaction, and how it ties up to ‘Barbie: It Takes Two’ this ending edges out the rest and wins the top spot for me.

**Malibu, Ken, Skipper, and Brooklyn are all present in this epilogue

[blkgirl-writing]

Hi, I saw your smut requests post and was wondering if you could write one about touch starved Gale finally being alone with reader/Tav and getting his satisfaction? (Yeah, I got inspired by your nsfw headcanons about him, how could you tell?) Please and thank you!

PS Can I be 🧀 anon?

What happened at the moon lit pond

Gale X Fem!Reader

Baldurs gate 3

It’s been, probably three years since I’ve written a full fanfic? I’ll admit I’m probably a little rusty. Thank y’all for hanging in, and I hope this fulfills our nerdy wizard boy needs. thank you so much 🧀 anon for the request! I hope you stay and request some more.

Important tags: lots of pining, some angst (no sad ending), smutty (male and female Masterbation, male giving female oral), spoilers for gales mid game story, romance, Gale is an anxious mess, The thought of gale brushing his hair from his face got me GOING 😩

Word count: 1.9k

(Part 1.5 HERE) (PART 2 HERE)

(Gale headcanons that inspired this here)

-

Gale didn’t know how to handle these new feelings for you. He makes a fool of himself everyday, it seems. He always offers you a slice of his bread, even if you gave your own, he saves some of his own morning coffee for you, since he wakes up earlier, and even warm it up for you with a spell.

He simply wanted you to like him. That would be all he needed, but anything else that may follow that would be a true blessing. Gale wanted nothing more than to make you laugh, to see your smile and know he was the reason why, to camp and be the first and last person you’d speak to before sleep.

Gale wouldn’t let his mind wander much past that, or he tried to not let it. The occasional dream would slip through where you were his, and he was yours. It simply put him in panic mode In the waking hours, trying to not be obvious, scared you’d find out, what exactly? He wasn’t sure. You were too kind to break his heart so effortlessly, like he feared you would.

Endless scenarios danced in gales head of rejection, humiliation, and what would happen if he let himself go, life he was tasked to do. It wouldn’t take much, to convince him to live. Friendship, a place to call home, even if it was ever moving. Company he could entrust his life to. It was all so appealing. Luring him into life, breathing a new passion into his purpose, one he’d lost many years ago, sometime when he was alone for so many years.

Those thoughts seemed to linger on forever, sweeping over his barely conscious brain to awaken him again, rustling him from what could be a good nights rest. Eventually, Gale decided to just get up and go for a walk.

Camp had been set up in one of the most beautiful places any of you had seen. Waterfalls tinted emerald green, sand fine and shimmering in the light, may it be sun or moon. I’m one of those waterfalls, he found you.

Waist deep in the pond. Skin and hair dripping wet, shining more than usual water would, adding a silver glow to the night. You looked better than a goddess could ever imagine, and still, his eyes never dipped below you shoulders, even though he deeply wanted to look lower. Instead, he stood there, looking like a fucking idiot, gods know how long. Maybe a tree branch snapped, or maybe you finally snapped out of your trance, but your head whipped in his direction, eyes darting across the small beach, only relaxing when you realize only gale stands before you.

“Oh, Gale, it’s just you…” you let out a deep, jagged breath, the anxiety flowing out of your body just as quickly as it racked through it.

“Just? Are you disappointed?” Gale smirked, although his heart raced in his chest, one word and he'd sulk back to camp, but gods he wanted to stay and spend the whole night with you under the stars.

“Far from it, really. I was just thinking about how much you’d enjoy this view if you were here” you tore your eyes away from Gale, focusing on the stars. “I thought it may remind you of waterdeep. You paint a very beautiful picture of home.”

“I can think of a few things much, much more beautiful than Waterdeep,” his voice low, raspier than usual. Easily explained away from the lack of sleep or old sleeping bags, not for what it really was. Deep yearning, wanting, needing.

“I’d love to see them someday, then.”

“We’ll just have to get you a mirror, then,” “All the beauty in the world would reflct

"Gale, I-" You finally looked into his eyes, he wore his heart on his sleeve, at least for a moment. Those puppy eyes, dark bust glistening in the full moonlight, his hair messy from turning in his sleep, he wanted you, in many more ways than one. Gale's emotions could never be that simple, of course.

"Well," you walked towards him, water inching lower and lower, revealing more and more of your body, yet gales eyes stayed on yours. "Why don't you join me for a swim. It's a beautiful night."

"an offer I could not refuse." Gale's face was plastered with that cocky smile, the one that could melt anyone into a puddle in seconds.

He might have been a gentleman and kept his eyes upwards, but you were not so much, Gale untied his robes, gods why were there so many damn layers? It was quite a sight, his little mannerisms that showed more of him to you than he had shown to you. He was nervous, his fingers missing the simple ties frequently, he got annoyed by his hair getting in his eyes, a grimace appearing before he swept his hair behind his ear.

Your eyes lingered on his circle smoke tattoo, his toned arms, his downright massive hands. he was more tan than you realized, To be fair, he's always covered in those loose robes, leaving you to wonder what was underneath. You were more than happy to finally be finding out. But not below the waist.

"Isn't it a bit cold to be this naked?"

"The water is warmer than the air, I promise." You extended a hand out to Gale, even though he was feet away from you. "Come on, Gale from Waterdeep being afraid of some cold water? Sounds redundant."

"You got me there." He finally stepped into the glimmering pond surrounded by rocks and sand, enough to have your own little corner, to lessen the echo if it was needed. The whole camp didn't need to know all of your business. It must've been a magical lake, as both you and Gale noted separately. Unnaturally still, even when you moved freely, small glowing lights pooled at your sides, occasionally bubbling into the air once you leaned against a large, bright rock.

"May I ask what you were doing out here at this hour?" Gale spoke, still much further away from you than he wanted to be,

"Can I not take a mid-night swim?" You raised your brows in a questioning glance his way "A woman needs time to herself. These days and nights have been very stressful."

Gales very audible oh, slipped through the silence. "You don't have to relax alone." His eyes finally gave in to the need, scanning your body with a low moan slipping past his lips. His excitement was immediate, brushing against your lower stomach all the way past your navel.

"You've wanted this." You stated, brushing your hand against his thigh.

"There's plenty of magic around us, I want the Gale right in front of me." You dared to inch even closer, his thigh fully slipping between yours, inches away from touching your pussy. His hands floated inches from your waist, "Let me give you everything"

"Give me everything" With that, Gale's hand grabbed your waist, gently guiding you onto his thigh, motioning your hips down and swaying only him. The sensation sent sparks flying through his body, you were right in front of him, completely bare and rocking with pleasure onto him. Better than any dream he'd thought up, any fantasy that ran through his head even at the most inappropriate of times. Yes even during the throws of battle. Even in hard times like that, he was so drawn to you.

Gales other hand came up to your jawline, tilting your head so he could latch his mouth around your neck. Deep marks left behind while he inches his way in hickeys up your neck, jaw, and finally to your lips. Any semblance of anonymity flew out the window, not a single person could miss what he gave you, artfully placed dark spots painting your skin. "I have never seen such a beautiful being in my life"

"I could say the same about you gale," You said betwixt breathy moans, picking up the pace of your grinding hips against his thigh, his hand on your waist moving between a tight grip on your ass, and a light but so effective caress of your clit. Every time you got so close, his fingers moved, he was teasing you. His cocky smirk felt even through his kiss.

"I want you to come on my mouth." As if he was reading your slightly frustrated thoughts, "I want to taste you in my dreams."

All you could manage was a frantic nod, a mumbled yes, and shakily hoisting yourself up onto a rock that was perfect for gales pretty head to be between your thighs. Gale pushed your thighs apart with one hand, which stayed firmly grabbing onto you. The other sneaked up your thigh, tracing patterns along your skin. "Gale, please," you whispered out of pure desperation. The only warmth coming from your feet still in the water, otherwise your skin exposed to the biting air.

"All you had to do was ask, my lady" Gales fingers easily slid into you, curling up and pumping in and out, while he leaned into your pussy, maintaining eye contact as he placed one kiss just to the right of where you needed him to be. All he needed was to be touched, to touch you. Your legs wrapped around him to get Gale even closer, urging him closer.

"Touch yourself" Barely a whisper, but Gale caught it, and certainly didn't need to be told twice. Secretly, he could cum from this alone, your taste, how soft you were, how loud you could get. It was more than enough to orgasm right there with you, however, that is not exactly how he wanted your first sexual experience to go. His hand clutching your thigh came to his cock, rubbing much faster and harder than he was fingering you. he was eager. He wanted this to last forever, he wanted you to cum again and again and again into his mouth. He wanted his face even more dripping from your juices.

"Gale I can't hold it-" You nearly screamed, his tongue swirling and sucking, lightly biting, it was almost too much. Then, he moaned. A loud, deep moan and that was it. Vibrations running through your body from his mouth. there noise that left your mouth could've been heard across Baldurs gate, you silently thanked this magical pound for being so secluded, as you would be borderline embarrassed if people heard. Gales didn't come back up for hair until he was sure you were finished, getting every last drop of you.

"You certainly are loud" Gales tone was so smug it almost made you laugh. You gripped onto his shoulders as he swept you down from the perch, pressing his whole body to yours. After all that, after her definitely came, he was still so hard, and so pressed against you that you couldn't help but gasp. "I want to hear that again."

"Hear what, exactly?" you teased, lifting a finger to trace his chest.

"To hear you cum," his lips dipped down to your ear, slightly nibbling on it, before he rasped "and to feel you on my cock."

-

Part two, here

(Requests Open)

[artists-ally]

{Only Me and the Devil Know} Reader x Azriel

Picture credit

So. I have no real explanation for this other than I was ready this AMAZING fic and it sparked an idea. That’s it. That all I can say. I’m already blushing. Blow up my inbox, comments, and dm's with your thoughts! Enjoy <3 Title from this song. (Ps. Thank you for all the support on the teaser????? You guys are insane I love you all so much)

Word Count: 12,169 (HOLY SHIT)

Warnings: SMUT. like seriously, this is nasty. Pre-established relationship and consent, CNC, dom/sub, role play (predator and prey), pet names (dove!reader and master!Azriel), breath play, overstimulation and forced orgasms, bondage, spanking, oral (m&f), breeding kink, degrading, humiliation, masochism, stalking, biting, minor blood.

Summary: Azriel has had this fantasy of you that he's been terrified to ask you to partake in. After explaining and agreeing, fear and desire blur together in a terrifying game of predator vs. prey.

Tagging: @librafairy @needylilgal022 @bunnymallowo

~~~~~

The tip of the sun caressed my skin through the window, gently waking me from whatever dream I had been having. My shoulder ached from having slept on it a little weird, and my eyes were bleary. 

I wandered to the kitchen that overlooked the hills, boiling some water for some tea. When I looked around the room, I felt this sense of pride for how far I’ve come in this little city. Everything was as it should be. 

After breakfast, I changed for the day. The familiar worn in overalls slipped on, tucking the ends into my boots. I threw on a long sleeve shirt, the beginning of fall nipping through the window. While it was nice to have a change of seasons, it made me sad to have to say goodbye to some of the flowers and vegetation of the summer. 

I packed a lunch and headed out, locking the door behind me. The walk this early in the morning was always therapeutic; chirping birds and herd of deer along the edges of the forest across the meadow. The dirt and stones crunched under my feet as I walked down the self-forged path to my shop on the corner.

I pulled the sign from my little alley and set it up to display the new deals and sales. On my door was a folded piece of paper with my name in some of the most incredible font I’ve ever seen. 

“Oh my sweet little dove, you look so precious in that outfit of yours. With your hair braided down your head. You don’t even know my name and yet I scream yours every night. Don’t worry, I already know everything about you.”

My heart dropped. I whirled around and looked down the street. The sun hadn’t even come up yet, so maybe whoever left it was still out there. No one. No one was around besides me. The breeze rustles my wind chimes, making it feel even more eerie. 

What the fuck?

I read it over again, not recognizing the handwriting. I quickly unlock the door and lock it behind me. I quietly step through the shop, checking if there’s anyone inside. Maybe I shouldn’t have locked myself in here.

No one was inside, and I blew a sigh of relief. With my head on a constant swivel, I went about my day, checking every corner of every room I went in. A friend of mine, Cece, stopped by in the afternoon. She clearly noticed the wariness in my eyes.

“Someone just left it on your door? Yn, why don’t you report it?” She asked, disgust written in her eyebrows as she looked at it again and again. 

“Well, who would I report it to?” I shrugged. 

“Hmm, let me think. Oh, I don’t know, maybe our High Lord?” I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm. “Yn, it’s not safe! Someone is obviously stalking you.”

“I’m fine.” I lied. I was a wreck. A complete boneless, nervous wreck. Cece knew. 

“Yn-”

“I can handle myself,” I shook my head. “If I need to, I have a dagger under the cash register.”

“Yeah because that’ll stop a full grown male,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m just worried, Yn. I don’t wanna have anything happen to you. Especially when we can prevent it.”

“I will be alright, don’t worry about me,” I waved off. “If I feel unsafe I’ll let you know. And Damien is right next door, surely he’ll be able to help if something goes wrong.”

With a sharp inhale, and an obvious disagreeing tone, she left it alone. I didn’t feel unsafe here, and it was the middle of the day. Who would attack someone in the middle of the day? In public nonetheless. 

____

There wasn’t a note on the door the next day, thank the Cauldron, and I began planning for the town’s annual solstice celebration. It was still a few months away, but I had to preserve some flowers for the winter in order to make holiday arrangements. 

I designed and sketched wreaths, garlands and some other things to be put into production. Having to hand make all of them was a pain, and I usually hired some more help to get things done a lot faster. 

It was a rare slow day, and I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I watered and swept, wiping down tables and shelves. I couldn’t shake this feeling no matter how hard I tried. I felt like I was being watched. And there was this chill in the air. Inside my shop, which always remained in the seventies for the plants. 

But it was cold. I checked the thermostat, and it was still where it needed to be. Why did it feel so fucking cold?

Maybe It was just me, and I was getting a little sick. 

Whatever it was, it followed me all the way home. I knew my eyes were playing tricks on me. I kept seeing things in the shadows move, but whenever I got closer, nothing was there. Yup, definitely being paranoid now. 

The next morning was the same; no note, but this agonizing feeling that I was being watched no matter where I was. I was still cold and could do nothing to warm up. I helped an older female find something for her granddaughter who had a music recital tonight. When I looked across the counter at her, there was nothing but my counter– and the flowers and her purse. But I dropped one of the coins and I bent to pick it up. 

There was a note on the counter. With my name. In the same handwriting as before. 

My throat closed, fingers tingling with panic. I quickly helped the lady along and stared at the piece of paper. Where the fuck did it come from. It was literally there in a second. What the actually fuck is going on?

“My dove, you know it’s rude to not write back. I don’t take kindly to indecency. But you won’t be able to avoid me forever. Rest up, dove. You’ll need it.”

Need it for what? My heart thundered against my ribs. Surely I should report this, but… but I didn’t want to. I don’t know why I didn’t want to, but I didn’t. It was probably just some kid trying to scare me. I kept telling myself that, but it hardly worked when I left, constantly checking over my shoulder. 

I needed to head down the street to grab something for dinner. On the corner of the road was a group of people chatting loudly, a couple walking in front of me. There were people around. Good. 

The Serpentine Supply was the only grocery store open this late. I made my way through the isles and plucked whatever looked good off the shelves. I could surely make… something with all of this. 

When I headed out, there was no group on the corner. No couple walking in front of me. No crickets or last minute birds tucking themselves in for the night. 

A silhouette was the only thing I saw. Tall, so tall, and muscular. A creeping shadow behind the figure, and as it moved, it revealed wings. So enormous they touched the ground despite his height. 

I could almost recognize the face, but it looked vague. Like I had seen it before, but couldn’t recall where. Surely I’d remember a face that beautiful. Clearly High Fae. He shouldered off the wall, eyes set on me. I fled, almost dropping my bag, bolting in the opposite direction towards my home.

I heaved as I fell against the inside of my door. Curling my legs up, I listened for footsteps until I remembered the male had wings. Wings. 

Fear coursed through me and I went to the safe under the cabinet in my room. I twisted the dial and plucked the dagger in my palm. I couldn’t breathe, let alone eat, so I sat at my kitchen table and waited to see if he would try to follow me in.

It could’ve just been a random male, I told myself. And it was probably more likely. 

But what if that was- no. I can’t terrorize myself like that. This is all coincidental and I’m blowing all of this out of proportion. There is no reason someone would want to hurt me. But then again sometimes you don’t have to do something to have people want you-

Nope. Not going there. 

_____

With basket in tow, I walked up the hillside to my personal field. Rows of still-in-season flowers greeted me as I rounded the crest. I lifted up my skirt and bent down, plucking the last of the summer blooms to be stored for the winter. 

I was so happy when I discovered the preservation technique last Solstice so everyone could enjoy these beautiful flowers year round. I laid them all in the same direction, careful to not destroy the delicate petals. 

It was actually a nice day, and the sun was warm despite a cooler breeze. The sundress I had put on was one I’ve worn a thousand times, the hemp dulled and frayed from years of wear and play in the dirt picking flowers and gardening. It was lightweight and easy to maneuver in. My feet were bare. No real need for shoes out here. I liked feeling the dirt between my toes anyway, shoes just got in the way and made my feet sweat. 

I picked up a dahlia and laid it in the basket, reaching for another before I shrieked. 

A dark tendril of something circled around it, through the petals and drenching it in darkness. I launched back away from it, hands breaking my fall. 

“My dove, don’t you look pretty today,” a voice crept down my spine. I had only then realized I backed up into something solid. I scrambled, staring up at the figure. I had to shield my eyes from the sun, but a winged silhouette blocked it a second later.

Oh shit.

My brain fogged and words were long forgotten.

“It’s okay, dove. Don’t be afraid,” he spoke. His mouth curled into a feline smile when he took a step towards me, and I scooted back. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “Oh, my pretty prey, don’t you see? You can’t run. You’re all alone out here, aren’t you?”

I shouldn’t answer, I can’t let him know that I’m all alone.

“N-No,” I stuttered, breathless and boneless. “No, I am not alone.”

“Don’t lie to me,” his tone sent a ripple down my back. “Even if you weren’t alone, there’d be nothing anyone could do.”

Fear prowled through me, and I think he could sense that. I anchored myself to the ground, prepared to bolt at any second and try to put as much distance as I could. Would it be useless? Probably. Would I go down with a fight? Absolutely. I’d kick and scream and-

“It’s so adorable to watch you think you have a chance,” he tilted his head, bending down over me. I took in those wings, that sharp jaw and even sharper eyes. His skin was flushed with a fine layer of sweat, and he smelled like an inferno. 

My core tightened. My fingers and toes were numb with dread. 

“Such a shame. A pretty thing like you shouldn’t ever be left alone. Someone could just come right up to you and take you as their own.” “I told you I’m not alone,” I bit out. 

He chuckled. Void of any real amusement and full of predatory hunger. “It’s okay, dove. I only want to take you for a little while, show you all the things that delicate body does to me. Only when I am satisfied will I give you back.”

A sob shuddered through me as he gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “P-Please don’t- please don’t hurt me-”

“Oh, I will. But it will feel so good for you. You’re going to cry. And beg. And scream. All for me. You’ll realize that no other male will be able to make you feel the things I can make you.” His voice was of the smoothest silk, but the words were so wrong. So repulsing. It certainly didn’t help when he looked so striking. 

I swallowed, nothing going down. I shook with nothing but fear when his hand traveled down my chin, to my neck. He gripped, not cutting off air, but firm enough I knew I was fucked. I couldn’t move, I was paralyzed by his eyes. 

This was it. This was going to happen. 

I have to try and run. I have to try. I looked up and down his body, at his midsection crouched over my legs. I kicked up as hard as I could, sending him to the ground with a groan. I scrambled, as fast as I could, to my suddenly limp feet and ran. I sprinted into the woods, not daring to look back to see if he was following. I knew he was following.

My chest burned with the need for oxygen. I zig-zaged through the trees, stepping on branches and sharp stones. When I screamed, nothing came out. My voice was dead in my throat and I couldn’t scream. It felt like I was in a nightmare. Where all laws of physics are wiped away for the sake of terror.

How far I ran I didn’t know, but I couldn’t see my meadow from wherever I was. Who knew what was in these woods? I slowed my pace a little to catch my breath. I walked– more like jogging– through the thick brush. Thorns and bugs tore up my arms and legs. 

Great. Now the sun was going down. Normally a Velaris sunset would put a beaming smile on my face. Right now? It only filled me with worry. 

The soles of my feet were cut and filled with dirt. My trembling had slowed, but every new snap of a twig had it tumbling back into me. I kept my gaze on the vegetation in front of me, careful not to step on too many branches. The last thing I needed was to send a ripple of sound to what/whoever was after me.

I smacked face first into a tree. So hard my vision danced away from me. The back of my head hit the forest floor and I groaned, hugging it close to my chest. As I rolled onto my shoulder, I was forced onto my stomach. My voice filled me when I saw the scarred hand, belonging to the male I thought I left in the field. 

“Where are you going, my prey? You think you can outrun a predator like me? Aww, my dove. You should know I love the chase, to see the fear in your eyes. Fear is one of our most primal instincts, fleeing only makes me want to hunt.” 

He was heavy on top of me, hand fisting in my hair to force me up. I tried to fight against it, but I couldn’t move. 

“Run again and I will have no choice but to hurt you. Though I bet you’d beg me to keep going.”

In a second, that same tendril-like shadow surrounded us. It filled every pore of my skin, every hole in my body. I felt like I was suffocating. That I was choking and couldn’t do anything to clear the obstruction. My eyes watered and I shrieked in my head. 

As fast as it was there, it was gone. I sucked in breaths, coughing up the saliva that was trapped in my throat. When I opened my eyes, I had no idea where I was. The cold, smooth concrete under my palms and knees was no indicator. There was no light except a singular bulb overhead. There was a table in the middle bound with leather, and a wall lined with different weapons and tools.

“Have no fear, dove. I won’t be using all of them on you today,” the voice echoed, and I spun around, trying to find it. He was nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Panicking, I ran towards one wall, hoping to find a door. I pounded at it with everything I had, nothing giving away.

It was solid stone.

“Please let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this,” I pleaded, sinking into the farthest corner. “Please I won’t-”

“I know you won’t, my dove,” the male emerged from the shadows. “But I don’t care.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I don’t want this. Please, sir-”

“Master.” his voice boomed into the room. “Call me anything other than master and there will be consequences.”

I cowered against the wall, legs tucked up under myself. Maybe if I appease him then… “Please master I-”

“Would you look at that,” he grinned. A feral grin with a promise to bring pain. “My dove knows how to take orders. So good to know you have a desire deep down to please and cooperate.”

“I don’t want this.”

“I know you don’t, and that’s what makes me want you more, dove,” he knelt down in front of me again, tucking away some of the hairs in my face. Under any other circumstance, I’d find the movement comforting, reassuring maybe. This? This was haunting. Make-your-stomach-blanche haunting. 

“What do you want from me?” I asked, daring a look in his green eyes. In another setting, I’d find them beautiful. But not this one. 

“I’ve already told you. I will return you when I am satisfied,” the male flashed his white teeth. “Get up.”

He yanked me by my bicep and hurtled me out of the corner. My feet stumbled and he kept me upright, dragging me to the table. My lower back aches when I crash into it, but the table didn’t move. I gripped the edge for dear life while my eyes stayed locked on my captor. 

My heart begged me to find safety. But there wasn’t a door, not a window in this chamber. 

“Where am I?”

“Far from anything, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ll take care of you, my dove. I won’t be kind, but I don’t want to kill you.”

Was it comforting? Sort of. Not really. No, it wasn’t comforting in any way. This male, this winged male, was going to do whatever he wanted. I’m at his mercy. His to play with, to decide what to do with, and I had no say in the process or the outcome. 

He turned to face me after looking at the wall of tools and things. “Oh dove, why didn’t you say you were needy?”

I blinked at him, shifting on my feet. “I’m not needy. I just want to be let go.”

“You think I can’t smell the sweet scent between those legs of yours?” His gaze darkened, traveling up and down my trembling body. “I bet if I touched you you’d arch into me, wouldn’t you? You're all messy and ready for me, aren’t you?”

I shook my head, biting my lip. His massive hand wrapped around my throat, pulling me inches from his face. He ducked his head down, planting a kiss right below my ear. I shivered. No no no no no this was not about to happen. 

His teeth nipped my ear and he exhaled, sending uninvited goosebumps across my arms and legs. 

“Despite your best efforts,” he whispered, breath skimming me ignited skin. “You are arching into me. You want me to touch you, don’t you?”

I couldn’t move my head with his grip, which only tightened when I didn’t come up with a response quick enough. “No, no I don’t want you to touch me.”

“Pity,” he said. “Your body says otherwise. Even though I frighten you, have you at my will, you find it thrilling, little dove. Aww, see? You’re so hungry for my touch, my mouth, that you can’t even stay still. I know my dove needs it, she’s such a slut already and I haven’t even done anything.”

Impossible. It was impossible not to writhe at his words. Heat flooded my body in a moment. No, don’t want this. This is wrong. This is so fucking wrong.

He let out a cruel laugh, the vibrations prickling my skin. He manipulated my head where he wanted, pressing his mouth up my neck, across my collarbones. My eyes lulled shut, unintentionally letting my head fall back. 

“Good girl, my dove.”

I gasped as his teeth grazed right where my vein pulsed under my skin. His hand roughly grabbed my hips and lifted me onto the table. They forced my knees apart and he stepped into the space. I whimpered.

“So vocal,” his voice was criminally sleek. “Be as loud as you want dove, no one can hear you scream.”

Again, not comforting.

“W-What are you going to do to me?” My voice bobbled, especially when he pulled off my body and stared at me. 

“Ask me one more time and I will make you regret it.” There was no room for negotiation in his voice. “But, since you are such a curious little whore, I guess we can get started.”

The world whirled around me as he forced me chest down. I hung over the edge, blood rushing to my face. His hands grabbed the neckline of my dress and ripped it down the zipper. The bitterness of the dark room chilled me to my core. 

A single one of his fingers felt its way down my spine. I kicked out, wiggling away from his fine touch. That finger left my back and came down hard on my ass. A scream tore through my body. The sting boomed across my skin, definitely leaving a raised welt in the shape of his hand. 

“Keep still.” He ordered. I panted with the force of that smack. “I mean it dove, I don’t want to hurt you… too bad anyway.”

I tried to hold still as his hands explored my body. They were firm which helped. I could predict the patterns of his hands and the tension slowly slipped from my body. I relaxed a shoulder down to the table, then let my legs dangle. 

“See? You’re already growing accustomed to my touch. Such a good little girl, my dove. I will reward you, you can keep pretending you don’t crave me as much as I crave you.” 

My body was betraying me. I have this type of reaction. It was wrong. On so many levels.

But my goodness was he a stunning male. 

Why I relaxed as he lifted the hem of my skirt up, I couldn’t ever say. But I was more embarrassed when he cooed at me, a soft, almost sweet noise coming from deep in his chest. 

“Aww,” he sighed. “Nothing under this? All prepped and ready for me, dove? I should have known how much of a whore you’d be for more. So kind of you to make it so easy for me to use you. To have my unwavering way.”

“Master I- please don’t do this to me-”

“And would you look at that?” He palmed my ass apart. “You are a soaking wet mess. I am two for two, I wonder what else I am right about. I think you’ll like it when I touch you, so much you’ll come apart just after a few strokes. I think I can get you to cum on my cock as many times as I want, until you’re an incoherent, slobbering mess. What do you think, dove? If you agree I’ll make you feel sooo good.”

I was quivering. Fuck, he had been right. And I felt so ashamed about it. Nothing about this should be arousing, and yet, he was completely right. Cauldron boil me for this.

I nodded. Despite all the bells and whistles telling me to fight and keep going. I nodded. 

“I knew you’d come around,” I could hear the sinister smile in his voice. “Get up, dove.”

Slowly, I lowered my feet to the ground and turned to face him. He reached around me and pressed a switch on the table. It began to move, angling itself on a slant. A panel came out at the bottom and the male flipped it up. “Step.”

Uh oh. 

With a wary look at him, I stepped onto the small metal platform barely big enough to place my feet on. I face him, the dress barely clinging to my body. He grabbed one of my wrists and forced it over my head. A cuff of leather latched around it. 

When I tried to yank it away, his free hand wound around my throat, cutting off all oxygen. I gargled, going slack in his grip. 

“I told you if you tried to get away, I’d have to hurt you,” he shook his head. “My prey hasn’t learned her lesson.”

My eyes widened as he grabbed something off the wall behind me. The second he rounded to where I could see him, my heart blazed in my chest. There was a small sword in his hand and he spined it between his fingers aimlessly. 

With two light-blurring moves of his arm, he cut off the sleeves to my dress and it pooled around my feet. I don’t know when I closed my eyes, but then they were open, staring down at my now naked body. “Defy my order again and I’ll cut you, do you understand?” I nodded vigorously. 

I still had one hand free, and I used it to try and cover myself. The male watched me twist and turn under his stare. 

“Looks like I still have something to take care of,” he looked at the hand that was shielding the space between my thighs. Within a minute, he had gained control of my hand and I was tied up. Completely naked and exposed to him. “Much better.”

I didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. So I stayed quiet. I just watched his every move. 

“What to do with you first,” he tapped his chin. “I should punish you for trying to get away from me again. But I think I just want to play with you a little bit more.”

He pressed another button, and the table tilted back so it wasn’t such a steep incline. My arms were already feeling strained as I tugged at the cuffs around my wrists. Most of my weight fell on my back, but gods my arms ached already. 

This was it. Nothing I can do to stop this. Fear and dread and every other emotion bubbled up and out, sobs wracking through my chest. 

“Don’t be afraid my dove,” his voice was anything but soothing as he dragged his fingers down my cheek. “I will make you feel so many good things. See? I only want to ruin you for anyone other than me. That’s it, my prey.”

His hand pinned my leg to the table, basically covering the entire thigh with his hand. He was so big. From his hands to his wings, even his shoulders were massive and otherworldly. A finger brushed up the crease of my hip, dipping into the mess on my skin. I jolted when he slid that finger between the tops of my thighs. 

It was so light, so gentle in comparison to how he’s been. With a shaky breath, my eyes fluttered shut as I let him touch me. 

“So soft, dove,” he praised. “Let's see how you taste. I hope it’s as sweet as those flowers of yours smell.” He let his tongue curl out and around the pad of his middle finger, eyes locked on mine. With a hum of approval, he grinned. “My dear dove, you taste so wonderful. I am going to undo you so many times so I can taste you over and over again. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Yeah I know you do. Don’t worry, I will make you, whether you want to or not.”

Chills spread down my back and I arched off the table when he stuck two fingers inside me. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel great. Not until his thumb brushed over my clit, making me jump viscously. 

“Tell me what you want, dove.” 

I had to calm the inferno in my mind before I could speak. “Just- please…”

“Please what? Use those words of yours, slut. Or are you already too fucked out to form sentences?” That wicked mouth of his didn’t make it any easier.

“I want… more,” it came out a whisper. So tentative and meek I wasn’t sure if I had said it out loud. 

“You want more, my prey?” I nodded. He let out a soul crippling laugh. “Just remember, you asked for this.”

His fingers picked up, and his mouth latched onto my breast. Teeth bit into the skin, and I knew it was the first mark of many to come. There was nothing to do except take what he was giving me. And right now, it didn’t feel bad. Pleasure ripped through with another brush of his thumb and my core tightened. 

Sweat pricked my skin, my hair itching the back of my neck. I was so hyper aware of everything going on with my body it was impossible to focus on anything else other than that it started to feel good. Fuck. I was giving in. I need to resist. This was- this was wrong. And yet I was… I was enjoying it? He had to have drugged me or- or cast some sort of spell to make me react to his touch. I couldn’t find any of this desirable, could I?

“Would you like to cum, dove?” He stilled his hands, but my hips kept moving. “Are you that desperate? That you’re fucking yourself on my fingers?”

I stopped immediately. My mouth gaped open and closed for a response, but nothing came. 

Two heartbeats later he shoved his fingers in so deep I pulled on the chains so hard I began to lift myself away from his touch. He pinned my thigh back to the table and circled my clit, drawing noises from me I so desperately wanted to keep inside. 

There wasn’t anything I could do to convince him that I was repulsed by this. Because he and I both knew that I was into it. Problematically into all of this. I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I couldn’t let that little bit of control I needed to ground me. What control did I actually have? I had no power. Nothing to hold over him. 

I was tied. To a table. In a room without a door. Cauldron knows where I am. Of course I had no power here. 

But it… it filled me with fear. This primal fear, just like he said. And I couldn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted. And that was… that was…

Pleasure ripped through me, forcing me to arch off the table and scream out. I hadn’t given my body permission to lean into this. Fuck fuck fuck. It felt so good, his fingers pushing me further down that fine line between reality and euphoria. 

“My dove, that was quick,” his eyes were full of hunger. And so were mine. “I knew you would come around. I knew a slut like you would give into those animalistic behaviors at some point. Now the rest of this will be seamless. All you have to do is stay there and let me fuck you until you go dumb with it.”

My legs were shaking, my pussy clenching on nothing as he ripped them from my body. I might have moaned. Just maybe. 

The male hit the button again and my legs flew down to help support my weight. I had to press on my toes to take some of the pressure off my wrists; pins and needles shot down my fingers and arms from the lack of blood. 

“What do you say, dove? Should I make you cum again? Yeah, I think I’m going to.”

He knelt to the floor and grabbed the back of my calf. I watched, still heaving from my first orgasm. He let it fall over his shoulder, doing the same with the other. Was he going to- oooh gods….

The first pass of his tongue sent my head rolling back, eyes with it. I bucked my hips into his face, meeting his carnal stare. He grinned, chin glistening with my mess. He looked… fuck he looked good. All those sharp, cunning features between my legs. My mind melted and all my morals went with it. 

Here I was: chained to a table with a sadistic, obsessive male, and I was loving the sight of him between my legs. What the fuck is wrong with me? I didn’t have time to answer my own question as content filled me. He lapped over every inch of my entrance and didn’t let up. 

��Gods… fuck- forgive me,” I whimpered out, feeling this overwhelming sensation begin to break apart my seams. I gasped, then screamed. His teeth latched onto the inside of my thigh. He bit me. Hard. Forceful enough to bring tears up and forceful enough to make me bleed. 

“Now if any other male tries to take you, they’ll see my bite and know that if they don’t get out they’re going to be in a world of pain,” he muttered, brushing away the drops of blood with his hand. He resumed the flicks of his tongue, not letting up when I began to see stars.

“Ple-Please,” I shout, arching off the inclined surface and clamping my legs around his head. In a second, I was pinned to the table, his nails digging into the skin of my thighs. A brutal hand came down right over the bite, and I screamed. Fuck that hurt. “Ah- stop.”

“Why? Does it hurt, my prey? It’s fucking supposed to. Now shut the fuck up and take it. Stop acting like you don’t love this.” 

I cried out, his tongue darting up and down my core. My stomach tightened in that familiar way, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of another release. I had given him what he wanted, wasn’t that enough?

“Stop holding back.” Another claw of his nails at the backs of my thighs. “Cum now or I will make the next one far less enjoyable.”

I obeyed. I didn’t have a choice. My body just did it. I yelped, straining against the bindings so hard I knew they’d cut my wrists. With my hips pinned under his powerful hold, I twitched and writhed and shook with the force of my second orgasm. I couldn’t stop shaking. Couldn’t stop whining and begging him to stop licking me. 

The male didn’t let up and tears fell out of my lashes. I sobbed. Sobbed. It was too much, too much pressure and pleasure it hurt. It stung. It burned and added to the ever growing pins and needles in my arms. They were numb, and couldn’t keep me up anymore. 

My body flops fully against the table as he keeps a firm grip on me. 

“M-Master please stop-” I begged, “please I need a break.”

Alas, he pulled his head away from my throbbing pussy. The sight of him was… Cauldron spare me. His hair was a tangled mess, and his eyes were full of his pupils. Black, affectionless pits in his face. He looked exactly as he said he was, a predator. A true, hungry, wild predator. 

And I had made him that way. 

“I’m far from done, my dove,” he rose to his full height, tilting the table all the way back. Relief flooded my arms. “I think you’re ready for something else.”

He came around to my head and I watched him, upside down, the light hurting my eyes. He shed the belt around his waist and let it fall to the floor with a loud ‘clang’. His scarred hand put the button through its slit and I could see the outline of him through his pants. 

Holy Mother send me a blessing.

“Yeah, you’re gonna be able to fit it.” “No,” I shook my head. “No that will not fit in my-”

“Well, it’s going to. Open wide, pretty dove. Fuck… look at you. All spread out for me, pink and flush. You look so mouthwatering. So perfect for me to ruin and bruise.”

With another click of a button, the cuffs above my head began to move down. The blood rushed back and I sighed out. They were now at my sides. When I dared a look back up, the male had dropped his pants. Mother fucking- that is not going to-

“Open,” He demanded, palming my jaw. I was in too much shock at the sheer size to really hear it. A slap struck me in the face, and I jolted to the side. “Now. Make me ask again and see what I will do with this.”

My jaw unhinged and he slipped in. I choked, bending my legs to try and gain some leverage. Cool streaks slithered up my feet and around my ankles. they yanked, the force of it pulling me off his cock, and I looked down at the tendrils of shadow curled around my skin. 

“What the fuck-” I shouted until I couldn’t breathe anymore. The male had come around the front of my head and slammed a hand against my throat. The pressure built up in my face, and I coughed, choking on what little air I had left. His eyes were narrow, a snarl on his lips. 

After a few moments, the stars were back, and the room dimmed. Heart pounding. I was right there, so close to losing consciousness when air rushed back into my lungs. I thought I was going to throw up with how hard I was breathing. 

He grabbed my hair and forced me down, shoving his cock back into my throat. All the way. I gagged. I was fully stretched out on the table as he rocked his hips into me. He was tall enough that the table wasn’t a hindrance. 

“I told you dove, bad things happen when you disobey me.”

He almost put me unconscious. My head was foggy, and my vision was still laced with stars. I had no other choice but to take what he was doing. Just like he said I would.

When I closed my eyes, I let my throat relax. He praised me, sinking in further and further. Every other thrust I got a breath. He pulled out once and let the tip of his cock trace around my lips so I could catch a breath. Instead of waiting for him to decide when I was done, I stuck my tongue out in acceptance. 

“My prey is learning so quickly,” he stroked a massive hair down my throat, pressing in. I could feel it prod against the surface of my skin, right where his hand was. “I bet you can feel that, huh? How far down I am?” A quick clench of his digits sent fear rolling back through my body. I couldn’t breathe again- “Shh, I won’t let you suffocate on my cock. There are far too many things we still have left to do. Just relax- that’s it. Look at you! Such a pretty whore, already wrung out on my cock. And I haven’t even been inside you.”

I swallowed around him when he removed his hand. That earned me a deep, rumbling sound from his chest. In the past couple minutes, his voice had dimmed to nothing but a growl. Like he was turning into an animal.

It was so thrilling. 

With every snap of his hips, my whole body rocked with it. Wetness pooled onto the table and I could feel it smear against my skin. He reached down and pulled at my nipple, sending shocks all through my body. “Yeah you can take more. I want you a whimpering mess, you still have a ways to go, don’t you dove?” I nodded my head as best I could. “That’s what I thought.”

His hips snapped into my face, cock stabbing my throat. It was so painful, and my lungs burned for a full breath again. Nothing about the way he was forcing it in told me he was going to let me have one. It could’ve been minutes or hours that he fucked my throat. I wouldn’t have the slightest chance of talking in the morning. And part of me didn’t mind that thought. Or the thought of seeing his marks across my skin. 

I moaned around him. I watched his head draw back, and heard what that had done to him. “Do that again, don’t stop.”

An endless supply of them tumbled out of me and around him. His hips stuttered for a second. Both of his hands palmed the side of my head, bringing it to meet his motions. One-two-three-four-five more later and he shoved all the way in, blocking my airway entirely. Long ropes of cum shot down my throat, forcing me to swallow. Some came back up into my nose. 

When he pulled out, I nearly hurled. The taste wasn’t bad, but the need for air was. I gulped it down, eyes unable to keep themselves open. I could barely feel the cuffs loosen from my writs. I was a limp pile of used limbs. Exactly what he wanted.

I felt like I was in the clouds. 

The next thing I knew was I was on the ground and the freezing concrete woke me up. My hands and knees stung and shook. I felt weightless and like I was a ton at the same time. I couldn’t keep myself up, arms giving out as I went face first into the floor.

All I could hear behind me was the male rugged breathing. Two agonizing slaps were planted on my ass. A garbled scream tore through the air as he did it again. And again. It eventually became so painful I couldn’t feel it. My chest was flat against the ground. 

“I am gonna fuck you,” he told me. “And I am going to hurt you so fucking good. You’re gonna scream and cry until you can’t. I’m gonna fill you all the way up, too. So much it’ll drip out of you for the next hour.”

The tip of his cock swirled through the mess between my legs. “Please, master. Fill me up.”

“That’s it dove,” he pushed in, inch by inch. “Fuck that feels good. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me. You’re all mine. All fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.”

If I had been anywhere other than wherever I was, people would surely be breaking down my door to rescue me. But I would shew them away and beg for him to continue. He was right. Fuck he felt good inside me. I don’t know how he fits. But then he kept going. And he kept pushing. 

“Look at you, taking my cock like it’s nothing. You look so fucking pretty, my little dove. Fuck yourself on it. Fuck me like the useless, hopeless little creature you are. Maybe if you do a good job, your predator will let you go so he can hunt you again.”

My body was his at that moment. It wasn’t my own to begin with. He had full command over me. And I was happy to let him. I rocked back on my knees, my aching nipples brushing against the floor every time I did. 

The noises were obscene; from our breathless pleas to his cock slipping in and out of my thoroughly soaked pussy… it was the most sinful symphony I had ever heard. 

With earnest I rocked into him until he took over. One hand fisted in my hair and he yanked me up. I couldn’t be bothered to use my arms to help, I let him do all the work. His other hand brushed to where we were connected and over my clit. 

I had already come twice, I didn’t know if I could a third. But he was going to make me, whether I wanted to or not. Just. like. He. Said. 

The sound of our bodies echoed off the walls around us. He cursed deep in his chest while I had the breath fucked out of me. I had to catch myself when he threw my head down so I wouldn’t smack my nose off the stone. He hauled my ass into the pocket of his hips and hovered over me, forcing his body to align with mine. 

His now bare chest was flat against my back, hard muscle contracting as he angled his pelvis into mine over and over. It was a brutal, erotic pace. His promise rang in my head: all fucking mine to use and breed and fuck whenever I want.

“Yeah take it you fucking whore. Take what your master is giving you,” his voice was distant in my ears. His nails scraped groves in the skin of my back, and I let go. I screamed. the tears came and didn't stop. All those emotions– fear, dread, desire– making their way to the surface and erupting as I came again. For a third time. “Fuck, my dove. Again? Gods you are such a slut for my cock. You love this. Being used by me. You’re fucking nothing without my cock to fuck. You were born for me to fuck this tight cunt of yours. To breed.”

I don’t know if my orgasm ever stopped or if they just kept rolling over into the next. 

“My pretty cunt to use. Mine. All fucking mine, isn’t it? Say it dove, who does this body belong to?”

“Y-You, master,” I strangled out through cries and breaths. “It’s all yours, my master.”

His hands crashed down on my shoulders and pinned me to the floor so I wouldn’t move. I wouldn’t move even if I could. And I don’t. I want to stay right here, head far away from all my daily responsibilities as he pounds into me. 

My master’s hips were ruthless. Every pump of his body into mine set my skin on fire. I had never felt pleasure, or pain, quite like this before. I’d never be the same again. He forced me to change to him. And I couldn’t ever change back. There was nothing I could do to stop him from breeding me. And I didn’t want to stop him. 

“F-Fuck, my dove. I’m gonna breed you. Fuck it so deep inside you’ll never have a chance. Ready?”

“Yes yes yes yes yes,” I was incoherent. “Please, master. Fuck me so goooood.”

The noise that came out of him should have terrified me. But it didn’t. He let out a snarl so deep it rattled my bones, rattled the table and the floor with the force of it. I could feel his release inside me, but his hips never slowed. The nails on his fingers caught my skin and ripped it. I’m sure it’ll look like I was attacked by a wild animal in the morning. In a way I was. 

He was feral, snarling and snapping behind me. It was either sweat or saliva that dripped onto my back. 

It went on for a little longer, and then he forced his cock farther than it had pierced a new part of me that I hadn’t ever felt before. I couldn’t tell up from down, right from wrong in the next several minutes as he fucked into me, pushing and pushing and pushing as much of himself as he could into me. I went completely limp and he landed on top of me. 

His warm body was shaking above mine, sweat soaking into my skin. 

Neither of us spoke, neither of us moved. 

When he stirred, he pulled out, making me feel impossibly empty while he rolled me on my back. Then it was back in, and I sighed contently. 

“Would you look at that,” his voice cracked slightly. “My pretty dove has entered a true in between state. You can’t decide what to feel, can you?” The male's hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. I could barrel keep my eyes open anymore, and he let out the cruelest sound I’ve ever heard. “Such a worthless prey. You can’t even speak you're so enthralled with me. What a sight to see.” It didn’t even occur to me that we had never kissed until this instant. His lips were warm and hurried as they claimed mine. I melted into it, especially when he curled his tongue over mine. He moved his hips steadily as he did, drawing in and out a few times before he stayed put. 

I was so many things– ruined above all of them. I didn’t know if I would walk again, if I’d be able to see a dahlia in the garden and not be instantly transported back to these memories. 

Here I was, spent and limp, still at his mercy. And despite the moral side of me, begging me to be disgusted and horrified… I wasn’t. And I wasn’t guilty about it either. I should be, absolutely should be mortified by this whole thing. Yet I wanted- no, I needed it to keep going. To be taken at any point and whisked away from life to be played with. To be hunted. 

It would be a secret I’d take to the grave. Not anything I’d tell anyone. I would keep this between me and the fucking devil. No one else could know how much I craved to be stripped of my rights and dignity. 

I was moved, despite my protests, and hauled over a shoulder. That same suffocating shadow filled me once more and then the stars said hello. With what little energy I had left, I lifted my head off his shoulder and peered around. My meadow greeted me. The bugs and all there too. 

The male slid me off his body and laid me down in the grass. I had also become dressed at some point, my dress put back together. 

“You are free for now, my little prey. But I will find you again, and I will hunt you down no matter where you run to.”

I nodded up at him, a delightful smile on my lips. With a breeze from the crisp autumn air, he was gone, one with the shadows again. I laid there for a moment, not really having a ton of memories of what just happened. All I knew was that I had this ache in my body that filled me with satisfaction.

____

The stars twinkled above me as I pushed to a sitting position, waiting for a while for my mate to come get me. With a mighty beat of his wings, he landed in front of me, that feral look in his eyes gone since we left that underground room. 

“Let’s get you home, my love,” he smiled sweetly, sweat still curling the ends of his hair. I reached my hands up and he gently pulled me to my feet. “I love you so much, Yn. So so much. It was perfect.”

“I know,” I smiled up at him. “I was pretty good.”

“Are you hurting?” I gave him a look that said ‘yes, you idiot, of course I’m hurting’. “Okay yeah stupid question. Let’s go clean you up and then we can soak in the tub and go to bed. I’m sorry if I-” “Shh,” I curled right into his chest when he lifted me up, kissing the side of his neck. “I didn’t safeword, did I?” “Well, no but that doesn’t mean-”

“Yes it does. I may have been under, I may have been afraid, but I was aware. It was everything I could’ve imagined.”

“You’re sure?” he asked again.

I nodded, slurring my words with sleep. “ ‘mm sure. Can we go home now?” “Of course. You are everything I could ever ask for. Thank you for doing that with me.”

“You’re very welcome,” I chuckled.

~~~~~~

[This is just a little bit of background building and the initial conversation between the reader and Azriel about the roleplay. I didn't add it in the beginning because I thought it might break the illusion. Feel free to read or not!]

Azriel had parts of him he was ashamed of. Things he’s done in the past that he is most certainly not proud of, but have become a vital part to who is and why he is that way. There’s nothing that can change those parts of him, not even his mate.

When the two of you first met, it was a thing of the universe. Completely unintentional. You had been delivering a bouquet of flowers from your shop in Velaris; they were the finest ghost orchids and water lilies grown in the Court. A simple pen error on your note card sent you to two houses over from the one that was supposed to receive them.

When you knocked on the door, your heart began to strike faster in your chest. It was an odd feeling to say the least. The door opened and a male answered the door. He had black hair and had the most captivating eyes you’ve ever seen. His voice was like silk when it hit your ears.

“Can I help you?” He asked, folding his arms across his sculpted chest. He was dressed down; a simple shirt and combat pants and boots. 

It took a moment for you to conjure up a response. “I have a delivery. For… Sherion?”

“They live two houses to the left.”

“Oh,” you sighed out, looking back at your card. Surely you had written down the right address, or maybe they accidentally gave you the wrong house number? The row of houses stretched far around the bend of the street, it wasn’t the most impossible thing. “Well, sorry to bother you. Thank you for your help, sir.”

“Azriel,” he introduced, stretching out his hand. 

“Yn,” you replied, offering the male a smile before you stepped down onto the sidewalk. “Enjoy your day!”

Azriel had no idea why he answered the door. Him and his High Lord were in the middle of a very important Court discussion and before the words were even out of Rhysand’s mouth, he was up and moving to answer it. 

And there you were. Standing right in front of him. This small, utterly defenseless faerie, compared to him. You looked so wonderful. That was the only word he could think of: wonderful. You looked enjoyable to be around and comforting. There was a calm to your aura that instantly soothed the roar of the shadows in his ears. 

You looked like everything he wasn’t. You were smooth and soft and unburdened by the weight of your past. Azriel was exactly that. Burdened. Solid. A bastard born Illyrian who had grown up in the cruelest way. Nothing about him was loving. Sure he loved and protected his brothers and the rest of his Court, but he hasn’t ever had one soul all to himself. To love and cherish and spoil with the part of him he didn’t let anyone see. But if he could ask you to give him a chance, he wouldn’t ever take it for granted. 

How he managed to keep his cool, he’ll never know, but as soon as the door shut, he leaned against it, fingertips filled with static as he closed his eyes. He knew that feeling. The one he had with Mor all those years ago, with Elain. But now it was crystal clear. The other ones had been clouded by hundreds of years of rejection. Not this. 

It had taken him a few days to find you, which wasn’t hard. He told Cassian first, who more or less shouted it across the room for Rhysand to hear. The both of them encouraged him to speak with you, to get a better idea if there was any type of bond at all on your end. 

Azriel couldn’t tell when he met you, he brain was too busy being turned to mush by your beauty and grace.

But, eventually, he wandered into your shop at the end of the business sector of Velaris. It was cute, and had your scent all over it mixed in with the calming presence of fresh flowers and other plants. 

The door opened with a chime and he stepped in. The first thing that happened when he shut the door was he knocked over a pot behind it. It shattered on the floor, and he let out a curse.

“Shit,” Azriel whirled around, wings clattering into some windchimes hanging in the window. They fell, thankfully they didn’t break, but they did make a jarring noise. “Cauldron boil me.”

“What is going on?” Your voice rang over the chaos at the front of the store, and when you appeared, your eyes settled on Azriel, and he looked around at the mess he made. 

“I am so sorry, Yn. I didn’t see the pot behind the door and then these things,” Azriel sneered at the windchimes, “came down with it all. It’s a disaster, please, let me help clean it up.”

He watched you look from the pot, to the chimes, to the dirt on his wings. You laughed, so hard you clutched your stomach as you looked at the wary Illyrian.

“It’s okay, sir. It’s not a big deal. I have about a thousand pots in the back that are just laying around.”

“Then let me pay for it, and any of the chimes that I broke,” he tried to smooth his face into anything other than bitter self-resentment, but he probably did a poor job. 

“Nonsense, it was an accident. And I guess I could make my shop a little more accessible to those with wings. It’s not every day that we have Illyrians here.”

The fact that you were willing to rearrange things in your store to accommodate him made his heart swell. Surely there was a blush to his tan skin when he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Azriel couldn’t help but notice the clay smothering your hands, bits and pieces stuck on your face and in your hair. You wore working overalls and a long sleeve striped shirt. The ends of your pants were cuffed and your boots were laced all the way up. 

He thought you looked adorable. Utterly adorable and he just wanted to cherish you. 

You had similar thoughts about Azriel. That he was devastatingly handsome and outrageously gorgeous. Tall, dark hair, and lighter colored eyes. They were a perfectly crafted shade of hazel. The Mother took her time with this one.

You cleared your throat, trying not to blush at your obvious staring. “Is there something I can help you find?”

It took him a second to shake his thoughts together, “Yes, I did come here to buy flowers. Not to destroy your property.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you. “What are you looking for?”

“In all honesty I am not really sure. I’m trying to make a gesture, of sorts.”

“I see,” you nodded, looking over your shoulder. “Roses are always romantic, but a little over done in my opinion. There’s always succulents too, everybody always forgets about those guys. They make lovely gifts, are low maintenance, and more difficult to kill.”

“Interesting,” Azriel nodded along. “What about these?”

“These are wild bouquets. They are grown in the Hills, just field flowers but they look stunning all put together. A lot of them are imports from other Courts, brought here long before Prythian was Prythian. They grow freely in the plains and farmland.”

“Do they all have their own names or are they all just classified as wildflowers?” Azriel couldn’t have given a less of a fuck about what they were classified as, he just enjoyed hearing you talk about something you were obviously passionate about. 

You looked at him like a normal person, not at the scars on his hands or the wings over his shoulders. He wasn’t sure what to think of it all. You didn’t fear him, which was odd enough, and you didn’t avert your eyes. It was like you didn’t know who he was, which was going to be hard to believe. But if, by some miracle, you didn’t, he would be grateful. So so grateful. 

“Yeah, these are lavender, baby breath, candy fruit, blue flax… whatever is blooming is picked and wrapped up. These are just seasonal, there aren’t too many flowers that bloom wildly in Velaris outside of spring and summer, and even then it’s difficult to grow without a greenhouse.”

“I see, I see,” the Illyrian said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll grab one of those then. And one of those succulents you were talking about.”

With a clap of your hands, you snatched up a fuller set of wildflowers and set them on the counter by the register. On a shelf beside a display of pots and vases, you looked around before finding a great candidate. It was in a lovely array of echeveria in a triangular prism. 

“Will that be all?” You asked, typing in the total and showing him. 

“Yes,” he nodded once, handing you a palm-full of coins. “Please keep the change.”

“But- I don’t understand, this is twice the amount of the total cost?”

“I broke one of your lovely pots, it’s the least I can do.”

“You know I could rehydrate that, throw it again and make the exact same one in less than an hour, right?”

Azriel blinked. “Then consider it a shop donation.”

You looked from the change in your hand, to the man in front of you, back to the change. “I won’t be able to get you to take this back, will I?”

“No,” Azriel smirked, taking the flowers and succulent off the counter. “Thank you for your kindness, Yn.”

“Yours as well, Azriel.”

______

When it came time to close down the shop, you hauled in the signs outside advertising the sale for the day. You wiped the counters and swept the floors, fixing a few things on the chimes that got knocked over earlier. As you locked up, there was a rush of air behind you, making you jump.

“Mother above!” you shouted, clutching your chest when Azriel stood behind you. “What are you doing here?”

Azriel didn’t say anything as he tucked in his wings, extending the bouquet he bought just hours ago to you.

“Oh, did you need to exchange them? I can run back inside and get you a new one if-”

“They’re for you, Yn,” he said. “I was hoping to catch you as you were leaving to ask if you’d like to come have dinner with me?”

With a sparkle in his eye, a smirk on his lips, it was pretty hard to say no. Not that you wanted to say no anyway. It was pretty obvious that both of you were attracted to each other, in more ways than one. You were worried that it had been one sided. 

And that was how it all started. One silly little typo of an address led you to the most devoted, selfless, and understanding male you could’ve asked for. Azriel could do it all. It took a while to get to that place, but it happened. It took a while to gain his full trust, but once you did, there wasn’t an area of his life you didn’t know about and admire.

He was so brave. So tenacious and powerful. Not to mention all of the other lovely physical aspects you learned about. Every aspect of your relationship was stunning. So rich and enjoyable. Every day was truly a new adventure with Azriel and the rest of his family; not to mention how awesome everyone else had been. Well, mostly everyone. Nesta and Amren were a little hard to crack, but Cassian, Feyra, and Rhysand quickly became some of the most important people in your life. 

As time went on, more and more things were revealed between the two of you. The mating bond clicked and it was like taking a first breath all over again. It was over stimulating, in an unexplainably pleasant way. 

Being able to feel, to hear everything the other was thinking was an experience you wouldn’t ever grow tired of having. 

Azriel was tender, as tender as he knew how to be with you. He did a lot of learning from you on how you wanted to be loved, and vice versa. Azriel was complicated, but that didn’t make him unlovable by any means. It only made you love him more, just so he knew that he could be. 

He wasn’t pushy about getting you into his bed, but you certainly didn’t mind taking that leap at one of the first hints. If his beauty was an indicator of just how thorough he was, boy were you in for a rude awakening. 

He was flawless between your legs. So calculated and willing to give. But you quickly learned there were other sides to him you wanted to explore. 

It started slowly, calling him ‘sir’ here and there to get a rise out of him. Which only leads to him asking you to try new things with him. You had always been a ‘why not try everything once’ kind of person. Extending beyond the bedroom. Azriel never pressured you to do something you didn’t want to, and there was almost nothing that he suggested that you rejected. 

From a little bit of bondage to taking you in other areas of the House, it started slow, and then progressively got more and more intense. More real domination and exploration. The list of things that turned you on was growing rapidly thanks to him.

One day, while the two of you were sitting in your home, it was clear there was something on his mind. 

____

READER POV

I watched as Azriel adjusted himself in his chair for the fifth time in ten minutes. He was squirming and outright fidgeting. 

“Okay, what is going on with you? I’ve never seen you like this before.” I paused my flower arrangement and sat down in front of him. 

Azriel wouldn’t meet my eyes. 

“Love, what is it?”

He let out a sigh, deep and heavy and full of something he clearly didn’t want to speak about. “I was just thinking… It's nothing important. I don’t want to ask it of you anyway.”

“Why not?” I furrowed my brows. “You know there isn’t anything you could say to me that would make me cower.”

“That’s exactly what I want.” Your breath caught in your throat. Azriel shook his head, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ve had this- this fantasy of you for a long time and it is something so dark and outright dangerous that I’ve been afraid to ask.”

A chill spread down my spine when he looked at me. Those eyes meant trouble; whenever we roleplayed, he got this look, this look, when I disobeyed him. It could’ve crumbled anyone to their knees. But me? It lonely lit me on fire. 

“Azriel, tell me.” 

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You know I will not judge you,” I stressed, swinging a leg over his lap, laying my hands over his shoulders. “I promise.”

His hands found my thighs, which he rubbed to soothe himself. He took in a deep breath before he spoke. 

“Do you remember when we went to Summer? After the wedding?”

That was totally not what I was preparing for. “Yes? Of course I do.”

“Well, when Tarquin let us into those fields, and you were just picking flowers… I couldn’t help but think about how delicate you looked. You looked so peaceful and alone and I couldn’t stop thinking about how vulnerable you were. How easy you would be to overpower with your back turned. You’d be defenseless and- gods I sound ridiculous.”

“No, no you don’t. Keep going.” “Yn it doesn’t get better,” Azriel clenched his jaw. “I shouldn’t have these thoughts and I know it’s wrong-” “There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy and expressing it to me.”

His eyes were wide, lips parted. Azriel’s grip tightened on your hips. “I wanted to do nothing but force you to take me. To just- completely control you and have my way with you. You looked so innocent and perfect in the sundress and I wanted to ruin it. Ruin you. All over again. But with this animalistic part of me that I’ve never met. And then I just kept thinking about chasing you. Hunting you down and capturing you and tying you up. Fucking you senseless and forcing you to take whatever I wanted to do to you.”

I stared at him. And stared at him again. Fucking fuck… Azriel wanted to hunt me? To do things that most certainly shouldn’t have me writhing against him. He was already hard just talking about doing it. And I definitely shouldn’t have found it so hot. 

He was right, it was a little sick and fucked up, but it was such a thrilling idea. 

Azriel had this presence about him. Everyone he passed on the street was afraid of him. He drank it in. He loved when people were afraid of him. Well, everyone except me. He couldn’t stand the sight of seeing me scared, or at least I thought. 

Images flashed in my mind: of running through the woods, unable to escape him as he chased me. Hunger written all over his face. Azriel effortlessly overpowering me. Forcing me to his hands…

“Oh, I see,” he startled me out of my daydream. Shit, I must’ve sent those images down the bond. “My little dove enjoys that thought, doesn’t she?”

“I don’t dislike it, if that’s what you mean,” I rasped, looking at him through half-hooded eyes. 

“You want me to hunt you, don’t you?”

I shouldn’t nod. I really fucking shouldn’t. But he already had me under his spell, and I could not say no. The idea was so tempting, so profound and beyond anything we’ve ever done that I couldn’t think of anything more exhilarating. It would be terrifying, he would be terrifying, but there would be this primal fear coursing through me… secretly wanting all of it. 

“Say it.”

“I want it, Az.”

“Want what?” He grabbed my chin, forcing my lips apart. “You have to say it, dove.”

My chest rose and fell quickly, already feeling that power of his in my blood. Through the bond. “I want you to hunt me. To capture me.”

Azriel's eyes physically changed colors in that moment. They went dark. Very dark. He bared his teeth, nostrils flaring as he moved his hand to my throat. “I am going to vanish and you are not going to be able to see me coming. I am going to hunt you like the pretty little dove that you are and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. You can run, you can pray to whatever you believe in, but no one will be around to save you when I come for you.”

I nodded, eyes fixed on his lips. “How- how should I prepare?” Azriel let out a dark laugh, pulling me right to his face. “Oh, my pretty little dove, you won’t be able to. It’ll be so unpredictable that you won’t know what's happening. I’ll even make the bond go dark. There will be nothing loving about what I am going to do to you.”

_______

My hand had already found its way between my thighs on the first night. Thoughts wild with what's to come. Of course I know it’s just Azriel, but I know that it’s not going to feel like Azriel. To look or sound like him. He was going to hunt. Me. And I was going to let him.

[pdpenpals]

hihi! i was wondering if i could get a romantic letter from phoenix drop high gene? she/they pronouns please :)

and for the context of the letter, maybe Gene & Reader recently started dating but can’t text because Reader is away at an academic sleep away camp (preferably centered around literature/writing)? Reader is on the more academic/nerdy side and not officially part of the SK so them doing these kinds of programs is their usual summer thing but it’s the first time Gene and Reader have been away from eachother since they started dating

tysm <33

hihi!! thanks for sending this in, i think this prompt’s absolutely adorable!

unrelated but speaking of literature whenever i see gene now that i’m older i think of heathcliff (more of the name) or the phantom for some reason.

your entire being perks up at the mention that a letter’s arrived, and your heart races as you go through who could have possibly sent it in your head. the moment you have it in your hands, you can almost tell exactly who it’s from. the envelope’s a dark gray, close enough to be black. there are stickers all over its back next to your name and address, same goes for the front. opening it, you catch a whiff of someone familiar’s cologne. that cheeky bastard. 

you notice almost immediately that there’s not only a letter inside, but a bunch of printed photos and some unused stickers. after finding a spot to settle your new goodies upon, you get comfy and get to reading.

Hey cutie. Miss me yet? 

Heard a fair’s coming to town soon. I think it’ll still be there when you get back. There should even be fireworks on the last day. We can go there if you wanna.

Other than that, nothing much happened today. Dante was out, and I had the house to myself for a good portion of the afternoon. Without sugarcoating it, I was bored out of my mind.

It took me a while to figure out my texts or calls weren’t getting through to you. Mom must have seen how frustrated I was about it, so she shared some of her spare stationery with me as a last resort. She said something about wanting to hear about how your summer’s been doing so far.

That’s all the small talk I can handle for today. You might get too tired of staring at only words for too long over there, so you might want to check out the pics taken these past few days. The stickers are from Zenix and Sasha by the way, they also say hi.

Kidding aside, I know how much this whole camp thing means to you.  But I’ve been feeling weird ever since you left. It’s weirder knowing you’re not nearby. When you’re not a walk or a call away. Even though I know exactly how many days and many hours are left until you come back.

Sappy shit out the way, I decided to read that one book you lent me at random. I’m not sure you remember it much since you hurriedly gave it to me without a second thought, but it’s that really old one about the day before the world ends. All that apocalyptic and sad shit. Even though I didn’t get it, I guess it was nice that Vincent and Leticia got their happy ending. To be honest, the book overall didn’t stand out to me much, but the concept of having one day left to live sure did.

If I knew the world was going to end tomorrow I would

Y’know, maybe it’s for the best I save it for when we meet again in person, so you better come back home in one piece, yeah?

With an aching heart and hand, Your Gene, who misses you terribly

PS. I feel like you’ve been rubbing off on me recently, state-of-mind-wise. While it’s not that bad, it gives me the chills.

PPS. If not having you near me hasn't driven me insane yet, I definitely will go mad if this letter doesn't make it to you. Especially after all I've put my wrist through just for this. Maybe I should visit the post office a few more times?

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

What’s your take on Vincent’s personal life? From what I’ve gathered he wasn’t greatest husband and father - cheated on wives, neglected children like crazy. I like him as an actor but kinda wish I’ve never dived into research of his personal affairs lol.

He's a human. Humans make mistakes. Of course he had done things in his life that he probably wished he could take back. From what I've heard, he didn't neglect children. I've heard he was a wonderful father. His first wife took his son Barrett to live with her, so he only got visitation. But he loved him. The letters to Mary early in their marriage shows how much he cared about his son.

He did have sexual trysts with men throughout his marriages. It was a day and age when gay, bi, etc., had to sneak around and do that. Doesn't mean he's a bad person. He was finding who he was. I'm sure he loved his wives. I'm positive he did. But he had to do what he had to do. He was bisexual, after all. Which makes him even sexier in my book.

Victoria, his daughter, has said on MANY MANY MANY occasions that she loved her parents and she is so thankful that she had the two parents she had (Vincent and Mary). The many pictures I've seen, and from all I've heard, Vincent loved his daughter with everything in him. He sent postcards, money, etc.

Also, his job called on him to go here, there, everywhere to film movies, TV shows, etc. of course, you can't always take your kid to work. Not on a movie set, anyway.

She did get to see him live as Peter Pan though. She was two years old and her mom took her to see him as captain hook. She became scared. Seeing her father with a hook as a hand, and scaring little kids on stage was too much for her, bless her, and she began to cry.

Her mom took her backstage to see that her dad was still her dad. He kissed her boo boo away and she went from tears to smiling. That doesn't sound like neglect. To me, anyway.

As far as cheating, he did cheat. But then again, the number or people who cheat on a daily basis, are a dime a dozen. Is it right? No. But do people make mistakes? Yes. He did end up divorcing Mary after he met coral, but I did hear from his daughter that he and Mary were still close friends. He sent her post cards, called her, and even bought her her favorite perfume (Joy) every single year until shortly before his death when he could no longer do so. According to his daughter, Victoria, it wasn't always easy for them to remain friends, because of Coral.

He's a celebrity. A human being. So, his personal life sounds like any personal life to me. Shit happens. Even to celebrities of his calibre. And he's still alright with me. :)

PS. Here's some of my favorite photos of he and his daughter. Doesn't look like neglect to me...

[xaldalneir]

Spoilers for Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Episode 12

Hi Tumblr! So, I’m breaking, like, a FIVE YEAR bout of silence and shit, but I can’t just sit quiet about this one. Witch from Mercury has been one of the best Gundam Series I’ve had the pleasure of watching. Today, the last episode of this cour ended on a heavy note. Now the majority of takes that I’ve seen have been saying that Suletta was either totally cavalier in what she did to Nameless Grunt Number 5 or that Prospera activated her somehow with her typical ‘move forward, gain two’ line. So, mainly to fight the opinion that Suletta is now just suddenly a murderous psychopath, I’d like to point out a few things. I’ll be laying out evidence from the series, from the Prologue story, Cradle Planet, and my own observations. So, first and foremost, Suletta has shown to act very impulsively whenever Miorine is in any sort of danger (slapping Guel in episode 1, her confrontation with Shaddiq in episode 9). She trusts Miorine implicitly and after last episode, after having been separated from her after a really tender moment, she’s undoubtedly panicking about whether or not she’s okay. Even Prospera can see that, because she makes sure to namedrop Miorine when she tells Suletta that if she gets in Aerial she can save everyone.  The GUND-bits told her that the transport and Earth House is safe. She activates what I assume is Permet Score 6 (same tetrahedron shield as ep. 9, along with Prospera telling Delling in ep. 11 that that’s as high as Aerial’s PS went during the Grassley duel), and is able to locate Miorine. I find it hard to believe that she didn’t also see Delling and Nameless Grunt Number 5 (because I’m guessing that the bits identified them via their personal Permet ID). She came into that room hard and fast, and Aerial immediately adopted a combat stance. That wasn’t the entrance of someone who knew the danger was over and was going to enter through a proper airlock or hanger. Then, of course, we get to the slap. I’ve seen people talk about how she could’ve just blocked or captured Nameless Grunt Number 5, but he had just overcome his shock at Aerial’s arrival and leveled his gun to finish Miorine and Delling. He was about to kill them. Suletta didn’t have time to think ‘Oh I can solve this nonviolently’. With everything we’ve seen from her so far, I’d be shocked if her first and only thought, and the one that she and Aerial acted on, wasn’t ‘Miorine is in danger I need to stop him’. Then, she gets out of Aerial. There’s blood everywhere, she trips and falls. Suletta, who we’ve never seen properly navigate any kind of social interaction ever. Suletta, who just minutes ago was in shock, nearly shut down over her mother having killed Nameless Grunts 1-4. Suletta, who just watched Nameless Grunt Number 5 try to kill Miorine, does not have the emotional capacity to deal with all of this. So she does what she’s had working for her so far with Earth House. She plays it off as clumsy, as silly. Suletta Forgetta indeed. A brief side bar on those who think the motto ‘run, lose one, move forward, gain two’ is some kind of trigger phrase, the Prequel story Cradle Planet shows us that Suletta has been using that since the age of nine to get over things she’s afraid of. She comes to Aerial one night because the elders at the Mercury colony don’t respect or trust her. She’s in tears. She climbs into Aerial’s cockpit, and she repeats that phrase until she’s brave enough to face the world again. Flash forward, she’s 17 now (last age given in the story was 15, but with context clues we can assume this next part is right before ep. 1). Prospera’s putting her plan into action, Miorine is being married off to whoever claims the title of Holder at Asticassia. Suletta comes to Aerial again. She tells her about what’s happening (Aerial knows already, Prospera told her the night before. Aerial doesn’t want Suletta to go, doesn’t want her to be used for revenge). She starts to panic, she’s anxious. Then she tells herself, ‘If you run, gain one. Move forward, gain two. Right, Aerial?’. She uses the words to propel herself forward once again. Just as she has done before, and just as we see her do so many times throughout the series. Suletta is clearly coded as neurodivergent. Whyever that is and whatever she’s specifically coded to be, I’m not going to speculate on, but she doesn’t understand social graces. She doesn’t always know the right way to respond. She defaults to a lot of reactions (hiding, playing it off) because those are what have worked for her. She’s not some manic psychopath suddenly and gleefully happy to kill, and she’s not the Winter Soldier waiting to be activated (that might be Aerial, if the red eye stickers in the Gunpla kit are any indication). She’s just doing her best. And that’s not always going to be the right thing to do, as we saw. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[romancingdaffodils]

So hold me down and never let me go.

Bassist!Remus Lupin x Reader

told you it was time for a new era :3

pure fluff !!! Remus is a tease and a little mean but what’s new. He’s a cutie so it’s fine.

pretty shit because i’m rusty with writing but it’s just a small one shot so it doesn’t matter. enjoy my drabble !

ps. al you asked for credit so here u are here’s ur credit bitch face @alegsy :3

“Cute skirt.” Rem complimented, leaning on the kitchen counter. You rolled your eyes in response, walking towards him. “Seriously, love, looks dead nice. Is it new?” he said, looking you up and down. He had done that a couple of times, however you decided not to comment on it. It was best not to feed the fire.

“It is new, got it the other day. With, uh, what’s your little wizard friend called. The one with funky hair.”

“Marlene? And it’s very rockstar girlfriend.”

“Yes, Marlene. She’s lovely. Also, you’re not a rockstar, Rem. You’re getting full of yourself.” you replied, sarcastically. As you giggled, he gave you a look of feigned offence.

“I’m the bassist in a rock band, dove, I am the definition of a rockstar.” he said, once again looking you up and down. You were struggling to resist the temptation of basking in his gaze. If you were religious, Remus Lupin would be the devil.

“You haven’t quite mastered the ‘star’ bit yet.” you joked, attempting to get your revenge. See, Remus always seemed to have the upper hand, when it came to you. He knew exactly what to do and what to say, when it came to you. So, it was a rare luxury to have something to hold over him.

“Ahaha. How many copies did our album sell?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Three?” you responded. Looking up at him innocently, it was taking a lot not to burst into a fit of laughter.

“Fuck off.” he stated, shaking his head. Even though he was faking annoyance at your comments, it didn’t take long for Remus to gravitate towards you. He moved away from the counter he was leaning on and towards the sink, where is mission began. Not paying attention, you had began work on making cups of tea for the two of you. You had only just finished filling the kettle when he decided this was the perfect opportunity to snake his arms around your waist and rest his head in the crook of your neck.

“Hiya, Rem.” you whispered, giggling quietly to yourself. You tried to continue with your rather mundane task but, you knew you’d succumb to his enticement eventually.

“Hiya, love. You’re ignoring me.” he mumbled into your neck. Feeling his warm breath, the hairs beneath his touch stood up on end. You were almost certain you would never get used to Remus acting like this.

“Am not! Let me finish what I’m doing for once, pleasee.“ you complained with frustration thick in your voice. All your efforts were futile -which you had previously predicted- as Remus dropped his hands to your hips and spun you round. Now you were face to face (what was as close as you could get to face to face) you couldn’t deny him anything. Remus was so very tall; it was impossible not to look up to him. His honey brown eyes were burning into your soul and the sensation was irresistible. Melting like putty in his touch, you were completely compliant to his every wish and desire. For the most part anyway, but if he wanted you to jump off of a bridge you’d probably have to think about it.

“There we go. C’mon you’ve been out all week, missed you.” he whined back. You found it a little funny how someone so desperate could have such a tough exterior, but decided now wasn’t the right time to comment on it.

“I’ve seen you every day, Rem, we live togeth-.”

“It’s not enough.” he cut you off, not maliciously. Even if it were, any malicious intent would be cancelled out by the sweetest action that followed. Your lips met. Soft, sweet and somewhat addictive. Far better than any ex, that was for sure. In fact, Remus was far better than anyone else you’d ever met. He moved in sync with you. One scarred hand gripped your hips and the other crept up to the side of your head, burying itself to your hair. Your own attached themselves to his sandy brown locks, tugging lightly at the strands. Feeling like your mind was about to explode, his kisses would always send your emotions into overdrive. You simply couldn’t contain yourself with him and that’s exactly what he wanted.

Breathe. You had to remind yourself to breathe as he pulled away. Resting his forehead against your own, Remus looked at you with what could only be described as love-sickness in his eyes. Cautiously, you peered up at him through your eyelashes, trying not to trigger another outburst; you just wanted to make your tea. However, you would never admit how much you enjoyed Remus when he was like this because after all nothing is fun without a game.

“Much better.” he said, simply. His eyes never left you and you had to admit you couldn’t look away either. Fuck. “Okay, you can go make your tea now.” he added as a sly smirk crept onto his face. Fuck.

“Remus! You’re such a prick- oi. Come back.” you whined, frowning at him as he walked away. In response all he did was shrug his shoulders.

Then, he said “Sorry, dove. Got rehearsals with my rock band see you later though. Love you.”. He grabbed his jacket from the hooks beside the door and gave you one final kiss goodbye. It was short and anything but sweet. It was horrifically mean. And just like that, he was gone.

You were left standing in your kitchen starstruck. Unable to think, do or see anything other than him, you found yourself rendered incapable. Somehow, his temptation always had this affect. You just had to pray he’d be in a good mood later, a less teasing mood perhaps.

[lcnelyghost]

how about James march trying his best to keep the reader away from the countess, but they eventually start talking and it ends up with the countess manipulating the reader into thinking James doesnt like them? some angst maybe idkkk

I hope u have a great day, Thank u sm!!

ps: i love ur work :)

𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱’𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢, 𝔦𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰//𝔧𝔭𝔪 ✰

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; 𝔧𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥 𝔵 𝔣𝔢𝔪 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯

𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤; 𝔭𝔤

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; 𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫, 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔰

The sound of silence was the only sound present in the Cortez. Everyone was either out, asleep, or just trapped here, remaining in secret for however long they wished to be hidden.

You however, were wide awake in bed, just staring at the ceiling. James lay asleep beside you. His dark chocolate brown hair slightly messed up, a few bits resting upon his forehead. He always looked so peaceful when he was sound. You could never help but to admire his beautiful, sleeping form. With him being a ghost, he didn’t need much sleep. But even the dead got tired at times.

You sighed and slid out of bed, cringing when you saw James stir. You managed to creep quietly to another spot of the room, changing into clean clothes before leaving a note for you’re partner when he woke up.

Dearest James,

I have gone down to the bar for a bit of peace. I may not be here when you wake up, so no need to go looking for me. I will arrive back when i’m fully relaxed.

Love, Y/N.

You finished signing off the note before heading down to the bar. Luckily enough, Liz was still up serving drinks. So you wouldn’t need to help yourself and go a tad bit crazy. Perhaps she’d make sure you were keeping a limit on how much you were drinking.

She smiled at you before placing a glass down, putting in a few bits of ice. You liked when the two of you could talk in the dead hours of night. It was far more peaceful and no one would be able to disturb either of you.

“What are you in the mood for tonight, honey?” Liz asked. You requested you’re choice of beverage and she was busy making it within seconds. In the distance, you could see Sally sitting in one of the booths.

Liz handed you you’re drink and you thanked her gracefully. You took a sip before lighting a cigarette.

“Can’t sleep?” Liz guessed.

You shook you’re head and blew out a cloud of smoke. Not a single soul was in sight but yourself, Liz, and Sally. A chill ran down you’re spine as you listened in to the deadly silence.

“Is anyone else even up at this time?” You questioned. Liz just poured herself a drink and sat on the stool behind the bar.

“Well.. John sometimes comes down. I think Iris is probably sound asleep. And my Tristan always hits the snooze button the minute he lays down.” The two of you giggled. I think most of the ghosts were aware that Tristan LOVED his sleep. Even in death, he still found it incredibly important.

“Oh, and the Countess is always just out or in her room with Donovan or whoever she’s still with these days.” Liz said, swiftly gulping down her beverage. You raised a brow and stared behind her in deep thought.

“Everything ok honey?”

You were quick to snap back into reality. “Oh yeah, yeah. Just.. i’ve never seen her in person.”

Liz nearly choked on the small bag of chips she was now snacking on. “You’ve never seen the Countess?!?”

You awkwardly bit you’re lip. “No..”

Liz sighed a little. “Even.. even Mr March hasn’t mentioned her to you?”

“Nope..”

She looked rather confused but decided to shake it off. You were about to finish you’re drink but you seemed to notice how Liz was staring at the ground floor beneath the bar, paying close attention to the beautiful blonde woman walking through the doors.

“That’s her.”

“Sorry?”

“That’s the Countess.” Liz pointed out, getting herself off of the bar stool and pretending to clean up the minute the Countess caught her looking.

You drank the last of you’re glass before taking a good look at her. Soon enough, the two of you locked eye contact.

She smirked slightly before dismissing the thought of returning to her suite and heading up to the bar. Had you made a mistake by letting her notice you’re presence? You didn’t have a clue. From what you’ve heard of the Countess, you knew she wasn’t one to fuck around with. Be careful with you’re words. Always.

Her heels tapped against the stairs going upwards to the bar. Liz gave you a sort of ‘good luck’ expression before going off to speak to Sally.

She finally entered the bar and you turned you’re back to her, hoping she’d just go back to wherever she was originally planning on going.

That thought ended and you’re bubble was immediately burst. She took a seat on the bar stool next to you, sensing the fear radiating within.

“New face I take it?” She laughed with a slight hint of coldness to her tone, calling for Liz to come over and make her a drink. You saw the friendly, now nervous barmaid whisk out a large, fancy glass containing some sort of red liquid. You assumed it was wine, of course.

You gathered enough courage to face her, forcing a smile. “I’ve been here and there in the Cortez.”

“Hm, so what is it that draws you in to spend you’re time in this place?” The Countess questioned. You thought wisely about what answer you’d give her but just guessed it would be best to tell her the truth. You weren’t exactly threatened by her, but you just didn’t really want to know what she would do if you dared to offend her in any way, shape, or form.

“I stay here for someone who has drawn me in from the very first moment I met him.” You replied, watching her take a sip of her drink. She licked her lips and stared at you with great interest. Playfulness, even.

“Would I care to know this person?”

You sighed. “Maybe. Maybe not..”

She chuckled before signalling to you that she wanted an answer. Now.

“His name is James Patrick March. You may not have heard of him, but he has quite the reputation. So I won’t be surprised if you know who he is.”

She grinned wickedly before giggling softly. You blinked and wondered if telling her was the correct choice to make.

“Yes. As it turns out, i’m aware of who James is.”

You were confused on why she used his first name. You knew the guests and other ghosts only referred to him as Mr March. That was what he expected from all of them.

“Have you met?”

She laughed even further and you began to feel nauseous.

“James and I go way back. Though i’m sure you’re aware that he’s not from you’re timeline.” The Countess whispered. You nodded you’re head gently and didn’t know if you really wanted to find out how the Countess was acquainted with you’re beloved.

“You see, James and I were rather close back in our day. He appeared to have drawn me in with the same darkness I presume he drew you in with. It’s a pity though. Even when he put a ring on my finger, I didn’t entirely know what I was walking into.” Lying bitch. James had been the one to suffer for years due to her unloving and selfish personality. Though, that you had absolutely no clue about.

The minute she finished her last few sentences, you practically choked on you’re cold refill.

“I’m- i’m sorry?” You sputtered. James had a wife?

The Countess laughed again and took a few more sips of her drink. You felt yourself begin to feel like an idiot. James had been wed to her, and you knew nothing about it. He hadn’t mentioned anything that would indicate he had a previous lover. Especially not that his past lover was the Countess..

“I must warn you, he can be quite a handful when he wants to be. In fact, i’m still forced to have atleast one meal with him each month.” She huffed. You looked at her in disbelief. So that’s why James was never ‘available’ to see you on one specific day each month. Well, that’s how Miss Evers had put it.

“I’m guessing you’re aware of his past. I did not support his actions. But, I had to live with them. I tried to tell him about my doubts in our relationship, but I had no choice. I was stuck. I knew James would certainly never let me move forward..” The Countess lied again. Her tone was filled with pure, mock sadness.

You were at a loss for words. You’re.. you’re James was a control freak? If you ever wanted to leave him, he’d hold you captive within the walls of this hellhole?? That wasn’t what had struck you most. It’s the fact that he had been a lover of this woman for so long, and you didn’t even know about it..

I mean what could you possibly do? It was clear she wasn’t fond of him anymore, but was he still madly in love with her? Was he even YOU’RE James? Perhaps he’d been using you on the nights and days he never got to see the Countess.

“I must be getting back to my suite. Just.. keep in mind what I told you.” She grinned again, winking at you before abandoning her drink and leaving.

You sat there, a dreadful feeling of hurt and loneliness slowly passing over you. You’d been lied to. Again. So many men had all sorts of experiences in you’re life, and you thought James might just have been the one that changed everything. Well weren’t you the fool.

Liz came back over to you after she realised the Countess had left. She noticed the lining of tears in you’re eyes, suddenly growing worried.

“Sweetie, is everything alright?”

You fumbled for words. “I.. I need to go..”

You placed a hand over you’re mouth and dashed off. Leaving Liz confused and even more worried than what she was before.

***

You ran from hallway to hallway, desperately trying to get back to you’re suite. You passed Tristan on the way, he was fully clothed but was furiously rubbing at his clearly tired eyes. By the looks of it, he’d just awoken from his slumber.

“Oh hey Y/N..” He yawned, stumbling backwards when you shoved past him, still sobbing.

“Damn, someone’s pissed.” Tristan mumbled sleepily.

***

You finally reached you’re suite and burst through the door. There was no sight of James, so you ran to the bedroom and slammed the door behind you.

Curling up into a ball on the bed, you just sobbed. Sobbed and sobbed and sobbed you’re precious heart out, trying to release some of you’re pain.

James was quick to appear before you, totally stunned and extremely angry in case someone had hurt you.

“Darling! Oh, my darling.. what is wrong?” He said, reaching over to place a hand on you’re shoulder. You only flinched back in pure rage.

“Don’t touch me you bastard!”

James stared at you, wide eyed. He was totally bewildered. What had he done that would have hurt you so?

“I spoke with a familiar face in the bar. Very familiar, actually. You’d certainly know her..”

“Her?” He raised a brow.

“YOU’RE WIFE.”

James looked at you blankly. “Darling.. whatever do you mean?”

You scoffed and flew off the bed, pushing past him. He was quick to follow you into the sitting room.

“What do you mean ‘what do I mean?’ you asshat! You know exactly what I mean, James!” You screamed angrily. Flopping down onto the sofa in you’re fit of rage.

“Dearest please.. I don’t understand..”

You laughed at his foolishness. “The Countess. Does that ring any bells, Jimmy?”

He gulped slightly. You only referred to him as ‘Jimmy’ when you were extremely pissed. Now he knew he was in trouble.

“Dear, this a misunderstanding!” He yelled back. Beginning to grow frustrated with his words not even being acknowledged or listened to.

“James.. I know for a fact that this isn’t a misunderstanding. The Countess told me everything. How you got married, that you wouldn’t let her leave, how you trapped her in here! Is that what you’ll do to me?” You whimpered, noticing the look of hurt on his face.

He took a few steps closer to you and sat on the armchair nearby, sighing.

“My love, you know I would never hurt you. Ever. And as for the Countess, that woman isn’t so perfect herself. Our story.. wasn’t like that at all. I was betrayed, lied to. I thought I had fallen in love but I was so confused.. and desperate for that matter. Elizabeth used me as a distraction. A past lover of hers had passed away, and she felt herself also on the brink of death. So.. I tried so very hard to help the poor dear. Something in her had interested me, so.. I found myself feeling the need to make her happy. But what I didn’t know, was it was all a trick. A cruel, meaningless, trick. Her past lover was still alive and well. He offered to give her something I couldn’t. Immortality. That man had been infected with what appeared to be some sort of ancient blood virus.. something that would make one strong and forever beautiful. Elizabeth agreed to run away with him and his other lover, threatening to leave everything I had with her behind. They were all unaware that I knew all about this wicked plan. I.. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her back. I still craved her touch and the warm feeling of undying love. So, I hid her lover away within the walls of the Cortez. He was trapped. Never to be found again. Just a few years ago.. Elizabeth managed to find out about this news. I didn’t bother hiding it. Whatever I did wouldn’t matter. I was practically abandoned by her so many years ago. All I did was watch as she moved on from man to man, not a single thought going to me at all..”

You looked at him with shock. Feeling nothing but guilt and utter stupidity. The Countess hadn’t been the victim in all this. It was you’re James.. you’re poor, poor James.

“So, my dear. The Countess was not the first woman I fell in love with. It was you..” He whispered, getting up from his chair and kneeling down in front of you.

“Oh James.. oh James!” You cried, wrapping you’re arms around him.

“I’m sorry.. i’m so, so, so sorry!” You cried further. James shushed you gently and pulled out his handkerchief, drying you’re tear stained cheeks.

He pulled you into his touch, kissing you’re lips softly. You returned the kiss, turning it into a more passionate, loving experience.

“Darling..”

“Yes, James?”

“Marry me.”

***

𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔶 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔰!!

𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱; @v-love (𝔪𝔶 𝔣𝔞𝔳 𝔬𝔣𝔠)

[borntoocry]

VOICE MEMOS SENT WHEN DRUNK— e. williams

a/n: saw this by someone who writes for an entirely diff fandom but decided to write a few drunk voice memos/calls ellie would totally leave when drunk.

ps… it’s pretty bad but i wanted something sweet.

“hey babeee, i know you’re probably sleeping right now. or not. you might be watching cat videos right now like you always do. i think you should stop watching them because they’re not that funny sometimes but i watch them because of you. anyways! i’m with dina right now. say hi dina—it’s for the wife." *dina says hey.* "dina says i should stop drinking and go home but i never go out, y’know? and if i do, i’m always the DD. i need a break… ellie needs a break. not from you, if you thought that. i never want a break from you. just a break from everyone else. do you understand? okay. okay! dina says our uber is here and they’re taking me home. i’ll see you in—hey, how far are we from home? thhhhhhirtyyy minutes. okay. in thirty minutes i’ll see you. i love youuu!"

"people don’t know how to say excuse me." *sighs.* "i’m not a people person at all. i think i was only put on this earth for you. i think the world knew i’d meet you one day so they made me to say fuck you to everyone else but you. you’re the only person i can tolerate ‘cause everyone else is an asshole. okay? i think… i think… i forgot what i was gonna say. fuck me. okay! i’ll see you soon babe. go to bed! it’s late. m’kay, bye!"

"do you really like me? i feel like i have to ask because sometimes i think you’re too good for me. you’re so kind and patient, YN. you listen to me and talk to me even when i’m grumpy. sometimes i don’t think i deserve you but i am so so so so so grateful for you." *too long of a pause.* "i need to stop drinking."

"if i was a worm, would you still love me?" *cackles* "please say yes! i’d stay in your room in a clear cage and watch you everyday. that’s my dream."

"i am so shit-faced right now, holy shit. the room is spinning and i don’t need to throw up right now but i do need to smoke a little so i don’t die. if i do end up throwing up, will you pick me up? i’m at dina’s guy friend Jesse’s frat house. it stinks. i’m in some guys room and holy shit how do men live like this? there’s a big ass bottle of soap that belongs in a dispenser and this dude doesn’t even have a hamper! he throws his dirty clothes in the bathroom. and i swear i saw a cockroach in the bathtub." *a drunken sigh* "yeah just come pick me up, babe, this shit is disgusting."

"i was just thinking about how sexy you are. i was staring at the wall while dina was dancing with someone and i was like, holy shit, my girlfriend is literally my girlfriend. you’re the sexiest woman i’ve ever seen. when i get home—and i’m not so drunk, which i’m not really drunk, just tipsy—i’m gonna kiss you so hard that you get a orgasm so fast. and then you’re gonna get pregnant and have a daughter named lilo after lilo and stitch. god… that was a good ass movie. can we watch it tomorrow for our weekly sunday watch?"

"can we get some mcdonald’s tomorrow? can you get a bucket of fries and nuggets? is that possible?"

"i love you so so so much. i wanna marry you one day and have a farm of kids. we’ll have a farm and animals and a garden where you can plant whatever you want. i promise."

[imagineitdearies]

Hello! Just finished PS. I cannot praise you enough. Its easily the best thing ive read this year, and my resolution was to read multiple books a month. You surpass ALL OF THEM!

Saw ur authors note at the end abt an original queer vamp novel- is there anymore info yet? Im sure you've got ppl begging already but id truly love to beta when the time comes- or be first in line to preorder.

I feel like i read this at exactly the right time of my life.

The story was so painful yet rewarding bc i see so much of myself in Tyrus. Astarion and Tyrus truly feel like two different exstensions of my healing self. I wont go into it, but im a survivor to. Like tyrus, it happened when i was a young. Seeing his transformation throughout his decade of enslavement, his hatred towards himslef and the world, all bc of one man hit home. I kept telling myself that if it didnt have a happy ending id have to burn my phone or smthn lol. Seeing Astarion amd Tyrus not just defeat Cazador, but do it together, do it solely through their love of one another, broke me. The power of love, hope, and goodness. I havent cried over a fanfic since middle school. Im in my 20s now. I adored the final 2 chapters of the aftermath- im so grateful we got to meet his sister! And with Halsin, no less!

Im so thrilled you'll be adding oneshots and other stories to the universe. Tyrus is so real, so alive, id hate to see him contained in one story.

I love how Tyrus, ultimately, changeed. He didnt change into a monster like he feared, but what happened to him did changed him. Thats not a bad thing, tho. He's still Tyrus, simply a new version. And im still me, simply a new version.

I dont know if ill ever be able to reread, even skimming over the rougher parts was hard, but im so grateful i was able to see Tyrus and Astarion's journey. All of their triumphs felt like mine, all of their failures. Their never wavering love and trust in one another, that they understood it was Cazador that made them do those bad things. Ur right, pain and love must be intertwined, which is why this fic was so amazing. The highs would have never felt so spectaular without the lowest of lows.

Im rambling, i apologize. I do hope you read this, even if you dont respond. I hope my thanks and praise can give u something in return for what you've given me.

If you've made it this far, have you made any content on ur process? Ur planning? The flow was amazing, ur description, the flashbacks- did you go to school for writing? As a writer myself im almsot jealous at ur talent- but mostly curious :) id love to know anything you're willing to share.

Again, thank you. This was a gift, you know. I wont forget it.

Hi turtleurtle!! Great to see you over here, thank you so much for your kind words 🩵🩵 it means a lot any time I hear people enjoyed PS as much/more than published fiction!!

Speaking of, yes, since you ask I do have a little more to say now on my original story. I took a small writing break for a week or so but have now jumped back into the saddle for the next adventure! Lots of plotting, character creation, worldbuilding, and research happening right now.

Reuben, our first main POV, is almost fully fleshed out as a character and I’m so excited for you all to meet him (he’s an eloquence bard, for starters)!! The first book/part is almost fully outlined and I’ve written the first few pages. I’m really starting to get inspired by where the storyline is going.

Back to PS though—I’m so glad you felt seen with Tyrus’s character. He did inevitably change, but by the end he is (mostly) at peace with that and can still forge a good life and happy relationships. Meeting Cynda again was that last little piece of hope he needed to believe it 🥹

Haha the light does always seem brighter when you’re stuck in pitch darkness! On the other hand, it’s something Tyrus only thinks once, but I would argue love is not intertwined with pain more than anything else. Pain is just an inevitability. No matter what you do, you will experience discomfort, sorrow, loss, physical suffering (see Cazador, with absolutely zero love in his life). While love is not inevitable, it’s a choice. Love is a gift we choose to give and to receive in the midst of inevitable suffering and that is why it is so precious. Having that perspective has really helped me heal and have more hope for the future 🩵

Haha never apologize for rambling about PS! This thing has consumed my soul for the last 8 months so I love the chance to hear from/converse with people especially now that the full story is posted and all is revealed. Honestly wish I could sit down with you all and just discuss everything!! But seriously thank you for this message.

As for my writing, here’s a few writing advice asks I've answered, but i haven’t gotten too in-depth on my chaotic process yet. I will say long walks talking to myself, bullet lists, and brackets are my personal recipe for success (besides just writing for years and years) 😂 I did take a lot of classes in school too! If people have specific questions, I’m happy to give my best go at an answer.

Thanks so much 🥰

[bohemian-nights]

Hello, I was wondering why do you think TB attracts so many aggressive people with poor reading comprehension/media literacy? Like I have never seen a word of fiction glean a fanbase this wilfully obtuse and seemingly HELLBENT on offering the most intellectually dishonest takes! And sometimes even educated people with common sense prefer TB knowing Demon and Ramona are so wicked and selfish. :( my best friend thinks the Greens are usurpers and I don't get it cuz she's not a dumb person.

PS do you like Elia Martell?

If I had to guess why I’d say it has a lot to do with power fantasies and the ability to self-insert into certain characters(the greens aren’t written the best but they are much more fleshed out/complex imo).

With Rhaenyra people like her mainly because of the show turning her into a girl boss.

Before the show, she wasn’t well-liked (she descends into being a straight-up psycho), but they softened her out(her worst moments have so far been cut out), and tried to turn her into a Dany-type figure struggling to gain power against the patriarchy.

She’s poorly written and bland as hell, but they like the image curated around her. She’s dressed up as a revolutionary without being revolutionary. She’s the perfect mascot for their own wants.

With Daemon, he is a hot male “villain”/ anti-hero/bad boy. Characters like him are always going to attract a fanbase(especially a large female fanbase). It’s a tale as old as time.

People view him as either someone they can fix or their self-insert (Rhaenyra’s) man who will do anything for her. Aka her attack dog who’d die for even though the actual person he’d die for is Nettles, but they won’t admit to this because of their own biases.

I reject Daemon being completely wicked(at least book! Daemon; show!Daemon is on trial until the series ends). He does have some redeemable qualities. In the end, he chose love over power, the crown, and his own life. It doesn’t excuse away all his bad, but he’s not evil and totally self-serving.

Honestly, if I were to simplify things, based on how these fans express themselves, I think a lot of people who like Team Black(which is basically just the cult of Dumbnyra) are low-key racists with eugenic views or at the very least subscribe to white feminism(which is severely problematic).

Even the Black and POC fans seem like they have self-hate issues(sorry not sorry, but anytime you are befriending and making excuses for racists you aren’t right in the head).

Not saying your friend is a racist(or a self-hater), but this is just something I’ve noticed.

The show's influence really can't be discounted either. If someone is only familiar with the show I think it’s very easy to just take things at face value and see Rhaenyra as someone who is a victim and who we should root for because of framing(that could be why your friend likes her which isn’t her fault and is no knock to her intellect).

The book does a better job of showing that neither side is the victim or the villain. Both sides have casualties and innocent people(Nettles, Helaena, and the children) who are hurt by their side's greed.

I do like Elia. She was handed a really bad hand in life. She(and her children) deserved more than they got. The hate she gets from a certain part of the fandom is unjustifiable. She does nothing, but exist and she’s not any less relevant than her fellow dead lady Lyanna. (Seriously they are both dead and only live on in the characters memories. They both aren’t really relevant in that way).

[apompkwrites]

I’ve read (most of) your twisted wonderland sibling things and as the oldest in my family, it feels…weird! Like! It’s super cute but as the oldest it had me thinking, what would the older siblings be like!?! (With angst, cause who doesn’t love to cry!?!)

Rosehearts

The older Rosehearts would prob be a wild child, the second they were out of their mothers control they nose dived. They did drugs and alcohol, so many parties. They hit rock bottom then started digging cause they were finally allowed to make mistakes! Since their mother was so controlling, they really don’t know how to handle money, or dieting, or anything really, cause they never had the chance to learn. Their mother has disowned them, but Riddle gets a card for every holiday with no return address and only a small rose and heart drawn in the corner. Riddle knows who it is, but just tells his mom it’s from a school mate. One holiday when he doesn’t get a card, he thinks they’re gone. They’re gone and he never got to show off his housewarden outfit, or show them how far he’s come. He never even got to say good bye and now their gone!

Kingscholar

Major Middle child syndrome, always forgotten. Farlan is king, Leona is a disgrace, and Sib is just…there. Average, boring, nothing special. They end up basically a shadow in the castle, even Farlan and Leona forgetting them sometimes, until they see a third place at the table that just feels empty. Honestly, sometimes the brothers wonder if their Sibling died and they never heard about it because they just…never see them! They see remnants, a dirty plate, some books left out, ect, but hasn’t seen THEM for so long. Cheka probably doesn’t even realize he has another aunt/uncle, he’s only heard stories of the rumored “forgotten Kingscholar”. Sometimes Leona sees them turn a corner, but when he gets there the other is gone, or sees them outside through a window, but again, they’ve disappeared by the time he arrives. Neither brother remembers what their siblings face looks like, or what their hairstyle is. Sometimes they both wonder if they even had a sibling, until a memory of them as kids playing surfaces, a third unknown cub running around with them, and laughter that isn’t either of their own

Ashengrotto

Sib probably went with their father after the divorce of their parents, they ended up the major bully after being bullied so much. If everyone hates them, they hate everyone. Their tentacles are covered in scares, and always scraped up now. A major punk, lone shark, ect. They’ve turned their back on everyone. Azul doesn’t remember them much since they’re usually not around anyway, but he remembers being read bedtimes stories by someone soft and sweet, he remembers when his parents would scream and fight and wake him up in the middle of the night, someone would crawl into bed and cover his ears to muffle the sounds. He remembers their face vividly, and he hates what they’ve become. He wants to help protect them now, from their selves. They protected him as a guppy, it’s his turn to return the favor, if he can convince them they need other people. It hurts when they push him away now instead of curling around him so protectively.

AlAsim

The failure of the Al Asim name, Kalim is the true AlAsim, the oldest was a fluke, a mistake, a bastard. Kalim’s older sibling was born to a mistress, and for no fault of their own, the entire family hates them. Kalim’s mother despises the living proof of her husband’s lies, their father hates the look of his mistakes, only Kalim loves his sibling. But that’s not enough when even the servants call you a mistake. Sib would always try to play with Kalim and Jamil when they were younger, brushing out Jamil’s hair and teaching them to braid, helping put on jewelry and dress up only to be shooed away from the “True Al Asim” to keep their bastard hands from harming Kalim. They tried so hard to love and be loved, by anyone! Kalim remember ps playing airplane, remembers them flying on the magic carpets, playing dress up and pretend, it’s why he always played those with his younger siblings now. They brought such joy to him, but they never smile anymore. They don’t play anymore. They just sit there, almost catatonic, eat, sleep, like a living doll. He misses their smile.

(That’s all I’ve got for now,

waaaah older sibling hcs!!!

interesting take on our older!rosehearts :OO kinda like rebel except they start spiraling and spiraling until they just... disappear. i would guess that older rose has been sending riddle cards for the longest time but only until after his overblot did he fully appreciate them. and then, shortly after, the letters stopped. the only confirmation of his older sibling being alive has vanished and he can't help but wonder if he had realized things sooner, would they still be here?

older!kingscholar is average. theyre not excelling or failing they're just... surviving. their presence is still in the castle but their actual being is never seen. they wander the halls silently, leaving traces of their whereabouts only to disappear once again. it would take a miracle for anyone to see older kingscholar again.

i like the idea of older!ashengrotto being a sort of rock for azul? only to be taken away from him because of the divorce? like when azul was being bullied when he was younger, older ashengrotto would swoop in and take him away, shooing off the bullies in the process. but ever since they were taken away to live with their father, they've grown cynical of everything. the only person they cared for was their younger brother but now they barely get to see him :((

and and older asim being the child of a mistress which is why kalim is seen as the golden child of the asims :OO they love their little siblings but their parents shun them from being able to be that older sibling to them. all because of a mistake that wasn't their fault, only the cause of their entire existence. and eventually, all of that shunning turns them into a human doll. they learn that they have no free will because they are only defined by a mistake their father made years ago D:

[questionablepastries]

Wahoo I beat armored core (just now now!) thoughts below (and spoilers of course)

I can’t believe they made me fight an upgraded balteus lmao but what balteus wasn’t ready for was an upgraded ME 😈

Good game! Visually very very pretty to look at, mentally I’m clapping a lot at the credits rn lol

And the choices the game made me do lol aaaaaghhh. I almost considered putting the game down for the day when it asked me to betray carla. Same thing with eliminating G1 Michigan, only because I thought VIII Pater was my friend (turns out he’s sick in da head!! Scary guy. Really lives up to his AC name “dual nature” whew) less messed up arquebus members the better. In the end I went with ayre all the way but not because I like ayre but because of 2 things

1) carla she did try to kill me once (she made up for it by saving my ass out of prison tho)

2) (the more important reason why I sided with Ayres idea) — who knows what the ecosystem of the planet would be like with the complete removal of coral, not to mention coral is semi sentient so it’d be like super massacre if I went with Carla (and Walters) idea of destroying it all. ALSO, the destruction of the giant space ship crashing into that coral harvesting place, like what would life be like for the rubiconians? Even worse? Nobody has their interests in minds bc as far as they’re concerned they’re always caught in the middle of some corporation war, so if I sided with Carla it’d be adding fuel to that corporation war fire :(

Like ayre says at the end though, I’m sure we can avoid a fires of ibis situation 2.0 if we work really hard together. 621 is a human that didn’t lose their mind completely after contact with coral voices and maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re a fourth generation human (since the later generations worked out the kinks of not having to hear coral anymore)

Also. During the very sad heartbreaking (for me) killing carla mission, do u know how excited I was to beat the shit out of snail lmao

After reading that his augmentations were only perfected thanks to who knows how many innocent deaths, and his mind re-education shenanigans I’ve hated his ass since DAY ONE. Even IF he’s a sassy funny guy

Ok the ps just told me the trophy for this ending is called liberator of rubricon. Whatever ending that is lol idk what ppl are calling it

God I already miss Walter why’d they make me kill him too lol

ON THAT NOTE I MISS RUSTY I THINK WALTER MAY HAVE KILLED HIM. I’m gonna stick to anime rules for this one and that’s “no body seen no death” yup rusty is still out there (<- copium)

Oh wow ok I guess NG+ just starts like that huh, that’s ok w me I’ll do a NG+ run just to see the other endings, they better not make me actually kill rusty tho that’d break my heart more than it did to take out carla and chatty : (

Also pvp is fun but I’m ok at it lol I keep losing a ton but I’ve had a couple of close matches and won like 4 matches so far

Oh right about snail tho, back in the Carla mission? I was talking mad shit while fighting him like “I ALREADY BEAT YOUR DATA IN THE ARENA YOU THINK YOURE HOT SHIT??” that sorta thing. And u know how dissapointed I was that I didn’t kill him right then and there? His ass escaped that ass beating. Don’t matter tho I terminated his ass for good when he was riding that toddler ass upgraded baby chair balteus 2.0

Idk how from soft does it but they keep making these super super climatic boss fights and super fucking awesome attack patterns that are both visually appealing and difficult to evade/survive but when you do it’s like you’re really in the fight in that moment it’s awesome :) this happened with balteus, balteus 2 purple laser moment, and the fuckinnggggg icewormmmm, malenia elden ring comes to mind (alongside demon souls king of storm)

And I can’t believe they got me with the sekiro monkey “it’s not dead! It’s getting up again!” Moment too god damn that flying boss whew, sad the game wouldn’t let me use that boss’ sweet ass wings as a part to equip :(

Rusty really warmed up to me, initially I was a hater because his ass was always setting me up with these missions that always had an extra lil spice in them meant to kill me or set me up in some way (probably arquebus’ fault) but he…. Waghhhggg………”the first to join” ok cool….ty for being so eager to reunite with me rusty…I honestly thought he was dead after the ice worm mission….and the fucking line he says “there’s only one person who can keep up with me” with 621 in on the comm to listen in on….what are we…….(we’re buddies…)

Great game. And amazing cast of characters, like maybe it’s the voice acting that really nailed it but for me to care about a bunch of people (g1 Michigan…..) that you never actually see in game and only hear is wild lol

I do not care for ayre tho. I’m sorry I’m a hater, she always said some common sense stuff like “remember to dodge” baby we been on how many missions together now please. If she was a deep voiced lady I would’ve been on my hands and knees tho, and if she had a male voice I’d be even worse lol

Cortana ass!!!! Anyways cutest ayre moment was 621 and her watching these giant nuke missles hit a massive structure and she’s like (cutely) “they’re really like fireworks” & I had to laugh and be like we gotta get u some real fireworks ayre they don’t look like this gsvdvdvd

Right and do u know how much I was pogging when the fake raven or Rather the Real Raven showed up??? Damn what was that guys situation about and their handler too? Hmmmmm (dlc potential?)

Fun ass game! Slow start but momentum wise it keeps speeding up and then the end is like WHAM did ya like it and I gotta be like YEAH. I DID. Now I have the urge to play the other endings in ng+ since my AC is geared the fuck up to handle anything I feel like. Kinda wish the pacing at the start stayed the whole way as in slow pacing the entire game with the game letting me kill more shounen protagonist types lol (although that would mean killing ppl like Rusty hmmm my sadism for wanting more murder of naive protagonist types and love for rusty is like oil and water when it comes to that idea lol)

One complaint tho just one, the ost can be somewhat lacking. It has its moments tho!! There’s like 3 tracks that really kill it, and they’re at important moments too. Iceworm, balteus 2.0/snail showdown, and Carla fight are good. The rest went over my head tho sowwy

Now that I’ve achieved credits in this game im a certified armored core fan (even tho this is my first one) and I’m glad this game is getting attention! I really hope they release more AC games bc this kicked ass, maybe they can take a break before taking that on though, because every single mission is pretty breath taking visually, and MASSIVE in terms of sheer size sometimes like damn. Lots of love!

[acquired-stardust]

Game Spotlight #1: R4 Ridge Racer Type 4 (Playstation, 1998)

Acquired Stardust’s first game spotlight is here! Follow Ash through experiencing 1998′s R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 for the very first time this year. Definitely worth your time to seek out and play, whether it be on original hardware, emulation or the recent port to the Playstation 5 via PS Plus’ classics catalogue.

Often hailed as ‘the greatest year in gaming’, 1998 was a pretty special time in pop culture as a whole. Massively influential programming block Toonami, responsible for introducing and popularizing anime to a mainstream audience outside of the college campuses where it originally gained traction, added both Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z to its lineup. Pro wrestling was in the midst of a legendary boom period as the Monday Night Wars raged and the famous ‘83 weeks’ came to an end. Seinfeld‘s finale drew an incredible 76 million viewers, famously seeing people gather in a large crowd to watch the hour-plus-long episode on a big screen in Manhattan’s Times Square. 

Indeed, 1998 also featured an incredible slate of games across the world, whether they be new debuts (such as Sega’s Burning Rangers or Acquire’s Tenchu: Stealth Assassins both dropping on the same day in February) or games released in previous years receiving a translation before coming to other countries officially for the first time (such as in the case of Pokemon Red and Blue). This is before getting into other medium paradigm shifts like Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Metal Gear Solid. The arcade scene was still thriving as well, with the previous year’s Tekken 3 still leading the scene in money earned and seeing the release of such classics as Marvel vs Capcom: Clash of Super Heroes, Street Fighter Alpha 3 and Dance Dance Revolution. All of these games could easily receive spotlights of their own (and just you wait, I can guarantee you several will), but today we’re talking about Namco’s R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 that dropped on December 3rd, 1998 in Japan.

There’s something so romantic and enrapturing to me about the idea of self-expression and how that can transcend language and culture barriers to create a sort of universal language and culture of its own. Gaming is one of those things that allows people the world over to connect with, such as with fighting games for example often drawing large international crowds for in-person tournaments that see people who otherwise often do not share languages or cultures expressing themselves through character picks and playstyles, in many cases forging lifelong connections and rivalries with people for whom they’ve found a new way to communicate and express themselves through. It’s in this same sort of spirit that I find myself very attracted to racing games, a fusion of man and machine itself filtered through a machine. Faceless competitors vying for first place with tires screeching and motors whirring, each with particular strategies and styles and levels of ability. The idea of racing games is very attractive to me, but ones that manage to hold my interest for very long are very few and far between. Ridge Racer Type 4 has managed to capture and hold that interest for way longer than I’d anticipated upon trying it for the first time through absolutely oozing style and atmosphere in a way media as a whole can often only dream of doing.

Starting off with what has my vote for easily one of the top ten prerendered cutscenes of all time, the opening of this game alone is an absolute bomb of aesthetics the likes of which I’ve rarely seen before. Composer Kouta Takahashi teams with vocalist Kimara Lovelace (herself having several top 10 hits over the years) to deliver the incredible Urban Fragments theme song that plays over a slick, well directed scene in what ends up being a recurring strength of the game: an incredible soundtrack meeting incredible low-poly visuals creating a top notch experience, and that’s to say nothing of the gameplay which is a wonderful mixture of arcade-style action and simulation, which is to say the game can feel a bit like bumper cars when crashing but otherwise nails a very satisfying blend of physics, acceleration and traction that makes it feel just enough like you’re actually behind the wheel of the cars. Visual design of the tracks are varied between speedways Japanese style mountainside races with the levels themselves providing plenty of challenge and opportunity that mixes well with car handling and a surprisingly intuitive drift mechanic, providing a wonderful feeling of actually getting better and more consistent as you put more time into the game. Brake light trails dance behind cars beautifully as planes fly overhead and helicopters film the action while satisfying control meets an outstanding soundtrack inspired by various popular genres of the time (such as house music, drum n bass and acid jazz) to create what is an experience far more engrossing than I ever expected it to be. 

Speaking of ‘engrossing’, did I mention there’s a story mode in this game? That’s right, there’s actually a story mode in this game bundled into the Grand Prix. Presented in the style of a linear visual novel with dialogue that slightly changes depending on race placements, Grand Prix allows the player to pick one of four teams, all of which are named in reference to earlier Namco releases. Grand Prix sees the player a new recruit to either the French, Italian, American or Japanese teams and interacting with their team captain as they progress through a series of eight races of steadily progressing difficulty divided into three tiers that must be finished in progressively better minimum position as you advance through the three tiers of races. These stories are all interconnected to a surprising degree with each character the player interacts with having some sort of connection to the character featured on another team, and the story punches above its weight in terms of emotional content as well, several times managing to be oddly sad and touching, certainly the last thing one would expect going into a racing game.

In a year commonly hailed as ‘the greatest year in gaming’ full of genre and medium defining classics, R4: Ridge Racer Type 4  absolutely belongs in the conversation of the best games of that year. I’d argue it could easily be deserving of a spot on a list of best games on the Playstation as a whole, and wouldn’t bat an eye at someone saying it has a spot on their list of all time favorites. Heck, it might’ve even landed a spot on my own list of all time favorites. It’s one of the strongest combinations of attributes you can find anywhere in the medium, packed into a racing game of all things, which typically do not attract the sorts of acclaim particularly in retrospect as things like Final Fantasy VII or Metal Gear Solid, but I promise that if you give this game a try you’ll come away wowed and wonder how you ever missed it regardless of whether or not you have any prior interest in racing games or the genres of music featured in the game. R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 presents an incredible world through the marriage of its sound, visuals and gameplay that is absolutely attention stealing and will stick in your mind long after you put your controller down. Definitely be prepared to add a few of these songs to your usual rotation.

A gem hidden among the stones, R4: Ridge Racer Type 4 is undoubtedly stardust.

--Ash

[void-occupation]

Wish I Could Love You

HA, you though that just because the last thing I posted was fluff, that I'd ease off the angst train??? Well April Fools bitches, I'm back with even more angst than before!!!!!

Here's the Ao3 link

TW for some serious acephobia (internalized and otherwise) and references to conversion therapy. Also a bit of self-harm at the end, because Alastor has trichotillomania in canon (as seen during his meltdown). If you want to avoid that, it starts at "Crimson claws" and ends at "tears". It's just one sentence, so you won't miss much. There is also a brief non-con kiss. I just wanted to vent the aroace pain from close friends confessing romantic feelings, and I almost made myself cry at work, so fun times

(PS: this does not mean I think ships with Alastor are not valid. I myself am in a happy long-term relationship. Asexuality and Aromanticism are part of a spectrum which means there are many ways for it to be interpreted by those who identify with the terms. There are a few ships with Alastor that I love, but the people writing them have to be careful to consider his identity while doing so)

ANYWAYS, I'll stop rambling now and let you read the fic

An evening spent with Vox was always guaranteed to be interesting. That was part of what had drawn Alastor to him in the first place after all, the Radio Demon forever seeking entertainment. However, after twenty years of friendship even Alastor could admit he was no longer in it for the entertainment factor. Even through his lifetime of severe emotional repression, Alastor was smart enough to see that he had grown to genuinely care about the TV demon - which had led to quite the emotional meltdown on his part, embarrassingly enough.

All of that was besides the point. The point was that even though they were just having dinner in Vox’s apartment as they did at least once a week, things still had yet to become dull, which was quite the accomplishment for someone whose attention was as flighty as Alastor’s. 

As Vox rambled about this new guy he had met - Mateo? Stephano? No, that wasn’t it - Valentino! As Vox rambled about this Valentino character, Alastor mused on the relationship he had with the TV demon. The red-head had never had a positive relationship with another man before, besides Husker of course. That hardly counted though, considering he owned the former overlord’s soul. Vox was truly a novelty. 

“Hey, Alastor?” The deer demon was pulled from his thoughts by his friend’s slightly hesitant tone. He focused back in on Vox’s face, and was a bit confused by the way Vox’s gaze was darting around the room. It looked like he wanted to look at Alastor but was too flustered to do so, a slight red glow lighting up the lower portion of his screen where his cheeks would be.

“What is it?” Alastor asked, slightly wary of the strange atmosphere that had filled the air around the couch they had chosen to share. His ears pinning back was the only outward sign of his unease. 

Vox finally seemed to get over whatever was keeping him from making eye contact, but Alastor couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t. He didn’t know how to process the unbearably soft way the other was looking at him. His stomach lurched unpleasantly, as though he had missed a stair. 

Vox reached over and gently took Alastor’s hands in his own, and Alastor suddenly found himself wishing he hadn’t set his plate on the coffee table - it would have given him an excuse to avoid this soft contact that felt far too intimate, even with their long-term friendship.

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while, but it never felt like the right time.” Vox shifted one hand so that it gently cradled Alastor’s cheek, and as he continued, Alastor’s smile shrunk to the smallest it had been since he had been forced to maintain it - unable to turn downwards, but begging to reflect the dread blooming in his chest.

“But, I’m tired of waiting for ‘the right time’. So, I’m just gonna come out and say it.”

“Vox…please,” Alastor begged, voice refusing to rise above a whisper, and static mangling his words. Internally, he was screaming, begging on his knees for Vox to stop before he said something he couldn’t take back. Vox either didn’t hear him or didn’t understand what he meant, because the TV demon continued forward.

“I love you, Alastor. I have for a long time, and I want to spend the rest of my afterlife loving you. We’ve been friends for such a long time, and I want to move to the next step in our relationship.” Vox was positively beaming, warm love and sincere affection in his eyes as he peered deep into Alastor’s soul - unable to see the pain he had wrought with those three words.

Alastor was crushed. His throat closed up and it felt like a clawed fist had clenched around his chest, his heart aching and lungs unable to draw breath. He tried to choke words past his constricted throat, but couldn’t force anything out. His brows lowered as his scarlet eyes widened, burning with hurt and shock.

Vox’s own brows furrowed in concern at Alastor’s silence. “Alastor?”

Alastor could barely hear him over his rushing thoughts. He felt so…used. How long had their friendship been based around Vox’s desire to get into his pants? What parts of their relationship had been genuine friendship rather than a furthering of Vox’s goals for a romantic partner? Was this Alastor’s fault? Had he done something to encourage this?

The worst part was the guilt. Alastor couldn’t say it about very many people, either in the living world or in Hell, but he truly loved Vox. He loved him as he loved Rosie, and he saw the other demon as the brother he’d never had in life, but that was the problem. He could never give Vox what he wanted. Alastor knew he was broken - the doctors had confirmed as much while he was alive, and the medications and more aggressive treatments he had received for his dysfunction had never worked as intended. 

Vox deserved so much better.

His eyes burned and his stomach clenched with nausea, and Alastor fought back tears that hadn’t fallen since his mother’s passing. Alastor wanted to love Vox that way, if only to spare his feelings, but he just couldn’t. 

Vox leaned forward, taking Alastor’s silence as a positive answer, and as he guided Alastor’s face in for a gentle kiss, the deer demon panicked. He lurched back as their lips connected, accidentally throwing himself off the couch to lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

Vox looked startled as he took in Alastor’s panicked expression, and made to stand as Alastor scrambled to his feet. 

“Alastor, what - ?” he started, reaching for the shorter demon’s hand. Alastor jerked back as though he’d been burned.

“Don’t,” he hissed defensively, clutching his hands to his chest like he was afraid to be within touching distance of the other demon. “Don’t touch me!”

Vox looked crushed. Alastor felt as though a spear had stabbed through his heart: he caused that expression on Vox’s face. 

“I won’t - I can’t - !” Alastor growled in pain and frustration, unable to articulate his thoughts. He tried to think of something, anything that could salvage their relationship before things got out of hand, but the rage growing in Vox’s expression burned that possibility into mere ashes. The anger masked the hurt that had been there previously.

“Are you kidding me?!” Vox didn’t quite shout, but to Alastor, he might as well have screamed through a megaphone. The deer demon took two steps back for every advance Vox made, feeling uncharacteristically like prey. He was used to having control over every interaction, but this had quickly spiraled into something monstrous.

“Twenty years of friendship all for you to get pissed when I say I want to progress things like a normal person would?! I waited, wanting you to be comfortable because I know you need time to adjust to people, but you still don’t care about me enough to even consider it?! If you never wanted me, why did you lead me on? Why did you pretend to enjoy my company if you knew you would reject me? Is my pain really that funny to you? Fuck, Alastor - can’t you see how hard I’m trying?” Vox had backed Alastor into a corner, and the deer demon was reminded violently of his youth - long hours spent cowering beneath someone who wanted nothing more than to make Alastor wish he was never born.

Alastor hadn’t felt this small since he had made his deal, and he had never assumed he would feel that way around Vox. The Radio Demon was so overwhelmed with emotion, that he did the one thing he had promised himself he would never do again.

He ran.

As Alastor fled into his shadows, he felt Vox’s arms try to wrap around him and prevent his escape, and heard the TV demon’s frustrated and agonized cry as he slipped under the door. He didn’t stop until he reached his radio tower, and reverted back to his more solid form once he was safely inside.

Alastor backed away from the door until his back hit the wall, and he slowly slid down it until he was sitting on the floor with his knees curled to his chest. A soft, staticky whimper forced its way past his lips before he could silence it, and the tears he’d been fighting finally burned fiery tracks down his cheeks. Alastor’s breath hitched, and he buried his face in his knees, wrapping his arms around his head and legs in a futile attempt to muffle the choked hiccups.

Sobs tore out of his throat from a place deep within his chest, wracking his whole body with the force of them. Stitches pulled at the corners of his mouth, forcing him to grin through his tears, and he had never wished so strongly for the ability to stop smiling. Crimson claws fisted in his hair, scratching at his scalp in his panic and sending small rivulets of blood down his face to merge with the tears.

Alastor had just destroyed one of his closest relationships because he was so broken that he couldn’t even reciprocate affection normally. It was all his fault, and the guilt tore at him in ways he hadn’t felt in decades.

Drowning in grief for the bridge he’d set ablaze, Alastor couldn’t stop thinking about how - outside of his treatment plans - Vox had stolen his first kiss.

[noonaishere]

Ateez - Newark, Nov 27

So we stood out in the rain for like an hour, but someone had a Goncharov poster:

So it was basically okay.

Actually, we were soaked by the time we got inside, and, it seemed like they let us in late.

My sister went with me and noticed there were a lot of dads there with their kids: “I feel very at one with these dads right now.” *pretending to holler to one that’s a bit away* “Hello there! Do you like to fish? I-- don’t like to fish, it makes me sad.” Me: *laughing*

This was the jacket I spent SO much time on and even learned to screen print for:

(The big on is the one I screen printed, points if you can figure out what it’s a mashup of. I bought the chain one, and I painted the others with a paint marker and it died while I was working on them -_- Truly, Kim Hongjoong should have blessed my Poscas before I started lol)

(PS: I’m planning on opening an Etsy store and making that the first print to sell)

(I made the HALA HALA tag under the lacing on the left, and the “1117″ in roman numerals under the star patch, I bought everything else. That “01″ tag actually lights up, idk why I didn’t turn it on for the picture)

Anyway, I wore that and a red plaid shirt underneath as my outerwear, which was good because I wasn’t too cold outside or too warm once we got inside, and both dried off relatively quickly (and having two layers meant it too a while for me to actually start feeling how soaked I was getting. It didn’t rain rain, but we were outside so long that we were soaked by the end of the hour standing there)

I saw the elusive LED people:

So rare to see one, free in the wild, much less three! Extremely exciting.

Then we saw the babies perform. Very proud of them. Their songs were good and they were very polished for still being trainees (but I think I read they’re supposed to debut next year, so that makes sense). I think Hunter might end up being my bias.

Then they played like three Ateez songs in a row and everyone sang along, until the music fizzled and cut and the lights went out, and even the Lightinys went out (the 2.0 are so cool) and we got a lore dump in Korean and English presumably (from everything other lore bit I’ve seen) from the viewpoint of the Oppressive Government, or the Android Guardians.

(Can someone PLEASE hire me to do the localization of their English text? Please? Because, yes, “crack leads to pain”... but that means something a little different in English.)

(It is, as the kids say, “whack”)

The the VCR from the World: Movement promos

(I just really like the lights in this one)

Then a bunch of very mysterious hooded figures came out. Oooooh, such mystery, very secret.

(Don’t go near the dog park)

(Trying to creatively crop out this guy’s arm that was SO FAR into my field of vision the whole night that it was not only “not even funny” but also “driving me to violence”)

(Then they went into a vortex, but I missed it by like a second)

(Listen... I love red, and I love San.)

Park Seonghwa is the prettiest man on the planet and I am going to throw myself into the ocean because I can’t deal with it. And Yunho is so handsome that every time his face was on the screen I thought “Wow, he’s so handsome” as if it was the first time I thought it.

“MAKE SOME NOISEEEEE!!!!” (I love you, San. I’ll make all the noise you want), polar opposite of Yeosang, who just stood there placidly as we screamed.

Hongjoong, waiting patiently like a stern teacher or something as we all screamed. Wooyoung laughing at us.

I do not remember what Jongho was saying here. Mingi, like... I love him because his face and height make him look so big and mean but he’s just a big mush of a princess. (Also, this boy’s lips... I better be careful before I start writing smut fic again 👀👀👀)

(Another shot where I just really loved the lights)

You can see on the screen that for HALA HALA (my favorite song in the whole catalog, I’m so happy they performed it) they had it go back and forth between being the current footage, and them as Halateez. I’m assuming they filmed it a few days ago or something, but some of coreo was SO spot on I was wondering if they had deepfaked the costumes or something lol.

Break that spine, Sannie, who needs it!

I need the VCRs from the concert. For lore purposes.

Mist. Everyone giving 110%

More San because I adore him

It’s my favorite thing when one of them is talking and the others all start holding their own mic up for him. My favorite idiots lolol

Jongho tried to grill Hongjoong if he knew the name of his first OST (and the Lightinys would have turned blue if he was right), so Wooyoung grilled him back about why he didn’t text him on his birthday. Seonghwa and Yunho enjoying the mess (Yeosang tried to leave because he ALSO didn’t text him but was captured and acted like he didn’t know what was happening lol)

At some point my sister leaned over and was like “Who’s the dramatic one?” “The dramatic one? They’re all on stage performing, they’re all dramatic.” “No, the dramatic one.” Me: thinks. “Do you mean the one doing all the high notes?” “Yeah. He’s dramatic. I like him.”

My sister went from non-fan to Jongho stan lol.

Me: “See? They’re pirates.” My sister: “Huh”

Lil starry Cromer action

I got the very end of the Cyberpunk San Slutty Dance Move, so I’m happy. (I thought I missed it since I was trying to watch it with my eyes and not my phone. It’s a little hard to hold a Lightiny and a phone at the same time.)

One again: Park Seonghwa is the prettiest man on the planet; once again: I am in the fucking ocean about it. Hongjoong: “Don’t like sexy too much”, also Hongjoong: *flirting*

Hypocrite.

Okay, but San is LEVITATING in the background? I was too busy looking at Mingi’s body rolls that I didn’t even notice until I uploaded the picture lol, wtf.

This is my favorite picture I took all night. I sent it to my friend @cant-fight-kyrumption​ and she sent me this:

And now I can’t unsee it.

(I also, don’t know how I forgot about it, I LOVED those vines lol)

We were side Cool, and we screamed a bunch and they changed the Lightinys colors lol

I love him your honor

Had to make a part 2 because tumblr kept shitting itself.

Tagging some peeps: @sayaramarz, @hecalledhimhyung, @moonbinnie0983​, @ositoblancito​, @goldenchunkycat​, @leagreenly​