#provided that i can get myself to actually get around to writing the next chapter

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Mystery of love

Previously / next chapter

a/n I was not gonna write anymore of this but some of you wanted to read more and fuck do I miss them myself. I will probably go and make a proper series masterlist so it would be easier to navigate through the chapters. Happy reading!🫧

summary: when two lost souls meet at their mutual friend’s party sparks fly, the question is if whatever they feel can actually bloom into something more? But that’s the mystery of love.

warning: toxic ex, arguments

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was one of your college friends' engagement party. As a good friend you were supposed to celebrate her but all you could think of was Noah. The boy with tattoos had managed to slot into your consciousness, taking up a daily spot there. You had stayed up for quite a couple of nights thinking about that almost kiss. About the fact that you had wanted it to happen. Had felt disappointed that it didn’t.

It scrambled with your brain. You had tried to avoid Noah as much as you could but he was relentless. Every day at six sharp he would be parked outside the bookstore waiting for you. “Go away Noah, there’s an Uber on its way to pick me up”, you grunted, pulling your scarf tighter around your neck. “Yes, ma’am that would be me”, he saluted from his car, waving you over. “Don’t you have a job? Anything else to do?”, rolling your eyes you stepped closer. “Oh, I do, one of them is a part-time driver”, he smirked leaning over to open the car door for you.

You always gave in. Blaming his sad and tired eyes. Fearing that your no or a firmer push would send him tumbling down a hill. At least that’s what you told yourself. You weren’t ready to admit that you felt better yourself with him. It all felt better when Noah was around. And while you craved that safety blanket he provided without realizing it, your brain screamed at you for wanting to depend on his comfort.

“Sooo, how are things?”, Emmy pushed a drink over the bar your way, snapping you out of your train of thought. “Things?”, you asked, frowning. She gave you one of those looks before rolling her eyes, “Oh stop it, YN, you can’t fool me, girlie”. Her and Matt. Cause if she wasn’t there to see you and Noah, then Matt happily did a daily report for her. “Are you still going on a trip with Matt?”, you asked, changing the subject. It was a cheap move, but you didn’t want to talk about it. Talking about it made it real. “You’re changing the subject”, Emmy chirped, “that means I’m right”, she wiggled her eyebrows at you.

You scowled at her, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Fine”, you lifted your hands in surrender, “We hung out a couple of times”. You hoped that would cut it but she just looked at you waiting. “And”, she motioned for you to continue. “And nothing, that’s it”, you shrugged. But it wasn’t nothing and deep down you knew it. It had been weird ever since the near kiss you two shared. You had made a big deal out of it. Not to mention that meeting your ex was also the cherry on top. Ex who no doubt had googled who Noah was from the relentless amount of messages he had sent. The times he had come over knocking.

“He’s a sweet guy. I would say pretty distant but he’s a good guy”, Emmy mussed, “We don’t know each other that well, I don’t want to impose but he’s been nothing but kind to me”, she swirled her drink looking at you. “Your judgment is much appreciated”, you tapped her hand in fake appreciation making her push you back slightly as she grunted. A light smile slipped onto your face. Falling immediately when your eyes caught a glimpse of the upper stage. As cold sweat chilled your body. “What’s wrong”, Emmy asked turning back. “Like a fucking rock at the bottom of my shoe”, you grumbled l, turning away in hopes that luck was on your side this time. “I’ll claw his face out”, your best friend pushed the bar stool back, ready to charge over but you clasped her upper arm, “Em, don’t you fucking get close to him, he’s unstable”.

More often than not Noah found himself thinking about the little things you two had done together. It played in a loop in his mind. At night when he couldn’t sleep he would go back, trying to ground himself in the moments he spent with you. Even now, he was supposed to listen to Jolly, which had proven to be harder lately. They were trying to put the cancellation dates in motion. But he had zoned out completely. Feeling the bone-rattling tiredness wash over him.

Dragging himself back to the little coffee not date you two had the other week. “Soo, this place make all the syrups at the house”, you had been referring to a family-owned coffee shop downtown for some time now. The destination was not comfortably reachable after work. Meaning that it would be more of a burden and time waste to go there in rush hours. So you rarely went there. But now Noah was glad that he had chosen to sit in traffic for an hour. The look on your face made it worth it.

You had practically jumped out of the car, reaching for his hand, lacing your fingers through Noah’s and while you didn’t seem to notice, Noah felt as if his whole body was on fire. It felt so right that he could sit down and cry. So he only gripped your hand tighter. “What do you want?”, you looked up at the menu, eyes scanning all the possibilities. But Noah was looking at you, “You pick”, he muttered. “No, Noah…”, you grunted, glancing at him, “Pick, I don’t know what you like, maybe you have allergies or some shit”. But he simply shrugged, before muttering a quick, “I trust you”.

You grunted, shaking your head before smiling at the lady waiting to take your order, “Hey, can I do one cold brew with wiped creme brûlée foam on top and one with your brown sugar almond glaze. Plant-based milk for both. That would be all thank you”, you smiled at her, turning to reach for your purse only to find Noah already paying. “Noah”, you grunted, “That’s…”, but he just chuckled pressing his lips to your temple.

“Okay, tell me what you think”, you two had found a nice table outside, the autumn sun warming your cheeks. Your legs were draped over his thighs, his fingers drawing shapes on your legs as you handed him one drink after the other.

“This one is nice”, Noah tapped at the cup in your hands, “Creme brûlée?”, you raised your eyebrows, taking a sip yourself. “it’s really good, I like them both though”, he hummed in approval. The funny thing was that he couldn’t give two shits for coffee but it seemed like whatever you liked he couldn’t help but enjoy as well. “Well now you know a nice spot for drinks”, you smiled at him, tilting your face towards the sun.

“I’ll know where to get you coffee from”, he corrected you, chuckling when you threw him a death glare he had already learned to love. “Absolutely not”, you protected. “Absolutely yes”, Noah nodded, biting his lip as he watched you. “Noah”, you grunted in warning but he simply shrugged, “I like it when you say my name”, you gasped, pushing his shoulder slightly, “Oh fuck off, you flirt”.

He was smiling to himself when his phone buzzed. Out of second nature, he turned his screen over. Only to tap his screen twice again.

Y/n 🤍: You’re busy?

Y/n 🤍: Sorry, hey

Y/n 🤍: Are you busy?

Noah: Everything’s okay?

He typed out, moving to sit up immediately. A frown creeping onto his face. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his guts.

Y/n 🤍: Can you ask Matt to check his phone.

“Matt”, Noah called out immediately, “Check your phone, dude”. He was up and walking towards the soundproofed booth. Fingers moving over the keyboard.

Noah: What’s going on Yn?

He watched the little three dots pending before disappearing. “Fuck”, Matt grunted, pulling his headset off. “What’s going on?”, Noah leaned against the door, watching his friend scrambling for his things. Matt halted for a moment as if calculating his next words. They never left a meeting unless something absolutely important happened. If Matt was up and ready to go that meant that Noah’s gut feeling was right.

“Yn ex is at the bar they are in”, nine words were enough to make Noah’s brain both shut down and restart again. He turned himself, reaching for his stuff before turning back, “I’m going with you”. “Noah”, Matt shook his head in disapproval. “I’ve met the dick already, let’s go”, Noah motioned for Matt to go to the doors. “Do you maybe want to enlighten us too?”, Jolly called out, arms crossed over his chest. “Man this is some serious shit”, Matt shook his head. This all could get real messy, Noah was more than aware of it. “We’ll talk about it, give me time”, Noah promised before, walking out the studio door.

“I’m not going anywhere with you”, you pulled at Dan’s hand firmly. Trying to get away from him after having to take the heated conversation outside. The last thing you wanted was to make a scene. “Stop fucking fighting”, he gripped tightly, pulling your arm further up, making you wince in pain. “Let go you asshole”, Emmy huffed, throwing her heel at him. Hitting him square in his head. You would have laughed honestly if it wasn’t the fact that his grip only got firmer.

“Back off bitch”, he snarled at Emmy, stepping forward to spook her. “Em”, a voice sounded behind you, you watched as Emmy nearly sagged in relief against the damp brick wall, “Matty”, she called out and even your body washed over with relief. One that was short-lived as Dan’s hand wrapped around your middle pushing you forward, “Come here”, he mused against your ear making your body shiver in disgust.

“Man let her go or I won’t be responsible for my next move”, you felt like crying in that moment when realization finally hit you. Matt didn’t come alone. “Noah…”, you whispered, turning your head to see his angry face. You weren’t sure if you felt happy or embarrassed then. You didn’t want him to see this. Didn’t want him to know about your past poor choices.

“We got back together man, so mind your business”, Dan cupped the side of your face, pressing his lips to your cheek. Your palm found his face then pushed him further back, as you grunted, “We did not”. “Let go or I will break your hand”, Noah stepped closer, he was way taller than Dan. Quite frankly all Dan had was a fancy suit and sparkly watch to hide behind. “Security is on its way Daniel”, Matt called out, Emmy standing behind his back, one of his hands making sure she stayed exactly there, “Your choice man. Walk away or ride in the back of a police car”.

Dan watched you all for a moment. And if not for the back doors creaking you knew that he wouldn’t have let go. “Fuck you”, he spat towards Matt, pushing you forward as he flipped you all off. “Not my first time with you, dick”, Matt threw back at him. Noah’s arms reached for you instantly but you caught his wrist, keeping his body away from yours. “I want to get out of here”, you muttered. “That’s what we will do”, Noah promised, trying to look you over. “I’ve got her”, Emmy muttered, wrapping her arm around your shoulders, and throwing Noah an apologetic look. He wanted to be the one to comfort you but he knew that there was a limit to how far you were willing to let him in and Noah had a feeling that two run-ins with your ex had maxed it out.

He watched you through the rearview mirror the whole way back to their house. Watch that cold mask of indifference slowly replace the genuine fear he had seen moments ago. So he wasn’t all that surprised when you had thrown Emmy a smile after stepping out of the car. “Come on, we’re sharing a room”, Emmy tugged at your hand but you instantly pulled back. “I’m going home, Em’s, you all go inside”, you muttered, squeezing your friend's hand. “Yn, they don’t mind. Tell her Matt”, she turned her pleading eyes on her boyfriend. “I said it more than once, YN, our place is your place”, Matt hummed in approval. Making Noah frown slightly. He had a feeling that Matt knew more. Had been involved in all of this somehow. The question was how deep it ran. “I appreciate it but I rather go home”, you smiled politely. “I’ll drive you back”, Noah cut in, “I was gonna pop into the city anyway”.

You wanted to protest but Emmy cut you off, “At least drive with Noah, I would be much calmer knowing that he dropped you off”, so you simply nodded. Not having enough energy to fight anyone on anything. “You don’t have plans in the city do you”, you asked glancing out of the window once Noah had started his car. “I don’t”, he admitted. You simply nodded at his answer, wrapping your arms around yourself.

And it had been fine. You had managed to keep it wrapped up till he offered to walk you up the stairs. Waiting for you to unlock your door as he leaned against the side wall. Your hand halted as you pushed the key through. It was one look at him. The look of concern in his eyes. It was the silence he left between you too. Not pushing to fill it in. Leaving it there as an option for you. A chance to speak up if you wanted to.

Your shoulders quivered as you clasped your hand over your mouth, trying to silence the sob that slipped past your lips. Noah pushed back from the wall instantly. Offering his hand but not pushing his embrace upon you. Giving you a chance to choose this. Choose him.

You turned to him. Arms reaching for his neck as you pushed your body against his. Feeling a tremble run through your chest. “I’m here”, Noah muttered, “Let it out”. His hands moved up and down your back, as he soothed you. “I’m so scared”, you crocked out, “He…”, you shook your head. Eyes burning from tears. “He’s a dead man walking”, Noah cupped your face, “He will not get to you, I won’t let him”, he nodded and you followed his action. “Stay”, you pleaded, holding onto his upper arms as you pressed your face against his chest. “I wasn’t going anywhere, love, might have napped outside your door if you hadn’t invited me in”, he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours, “Let’s get you inside. Marsh is probably demanding to be fed anyway”, taking the keys out of your hands Noah, unlocked them, pulling the door open before ushering you inside.

•••••••••••••

@broken0mens @supersquirrel1996

[worriedvision]

A marriage of convenience - Mr Reca

Gender neutral reader, sitting on this one for a while. Angsty ending, basically yet another example of poor communication and misinterpreted comments from both parties.

--

"Oh, dear you need to get married soon! You still have years to get your career sorted, but finding yourself a good spouse is a different story!"

"Still no ring on your finger?"

"No bitches?"

These are comments various family members just kept asking you. It didn't make sense to you, your personal life was your own business and you didn't ever think to move on the comments. You'd brush them off, but after they never stopped you began to vent to your best friend, Mr Reca.

"Ah, why don't we use this as an opportunity to explore a marriage! It'll help be with my, uhh, my scriptwriting!" Your friend stumbled momentarily before rounding off confidently.

It made sense at the time - both of you were single, he needed 'script material' and you needed the comments to stop. It was fortunate you had the chance to work with your friend through this, and it was more likely he was just seeing this as a chance to see his next film idea come to fruition.

--

As time moved on, and you got married with a large extravagant wedding - filmed on old cameras - you begin to realise just how infatuated you were with your husband. When he was in public with you, he would be non-stop gushing to people about how amazing he was for landing someone as amazing as you. The public affection, the fact he would take any chance to get you something nice.

It wasn't there as much behind closed doors, and it made you yearn for more private moments with him. He was a busy man, however, so it proves difficult.

You try, though! Making him packed lunches, kissing him on the cheek whenever you got the chance and trying to initiate hugs at home.

None of it seemed to do much, though. He wouldn't react, but it wasn't a good thing. It was like he was thinking 'yes, this is what a marriage should be, good job _!' instead of a quiet appreciation.

You yearn to have more moments, and it doesn't help that the press have clocked that your affections carry out privately as opposed to the public. People accuse you of being a gold digger, of being a leech that's too stupid to realise it's being a leech.

Once you get home after a particularly difficult day, dealing with dirty looks, you decide to bring up divorce with your husband. It breaks your heart how willingly he is to accept a divorce like it was nothing. It had been a while, you'd have thought he would care even if it was just for script-writing. Part of you thinks he's just wanting a sad dramatic end for this chapter, but he can write a much better ending than the one you're about to provide.

The paperwork gets signed and filed away, cameras around you as the two of you leave the building, and you turn to your now ex-husband to say some parting words, and to leave him with one last act of affection.

"I'm sorry, I fell in love with you. You're a wonderful man, you'll find someone who can treat you better than myself." You smile, Mr Reca seemingly only realising in that moment you actually had feelings for him. You grab him by his cheeks lightly, delicately yet passionately kissing him before pulling away, tears brewing in your eyes as you pull off your wedding band and drop it.

Before he has time to stop you, however, you run off into the crowd, the crowd swarming him for interviews now that he was a newly divorced man.

[william-o]

I participated in the Seasons of Gensokyo Zine!

I'm back once again in a collaboration Gensokyozine to share a fic I've made for their zine! Last year I wrote two short poem pieces but this year I did something I rarely do and wrote a whole short story!

You can read my piece on its own on ao3 here! But I highly recommend looking and reading all the amazing pieces this new zine has to offer!

I have quite a bit to talk about for this piece I wrote, it's been a journey! If you're interesting keep reading below!

So I knew there was going to be another event like this this year but I had no idea what the theme would be until the announcement was made. When I heard it was going to be based on seasons it was actually pretty tough figuring out a story revolving around that. I was also determined to write more than just a poem this time around so it had to be somewhat substantial.

Thankfully in the application where we had to pitch our idea there were a few topic examples provided, one of which involved using a story involving cicadas. So I started to do some research on cicadas, and what I found as a source of inspiration was a story about Cicadas by Lafcadio Hearn. Perhaps you've heard about him? Me being a *somewhat* superstitious individual saw it as a sign that this is what I was to write about for the seasons of gensokyo zine!

With further research I discover the existence of Dog Day Cicadas. They share the name of the shot type in the extra stage of Hidden Star in Four Seasons, they have folktale of how they're a sign of the end of summer and beginning of the next season, and strictly as a bonus for myself they're green and black just like me! It sounds like a story perfect to feature Yukari!

Now one of my biggest fears about writing a fanfic is completely misinterpreting a character. So I did all I could to try to get Yukari written just right. My idea was that it was most common in Gensokyo that people hated the sound cicadas make, except for Yukari. I was however advised that I needed some kind of reason that Yukari would like the sound cicadas make, or some kind of justification. Thankfully I found just what I needed in Chapter Five of Cage in Lunatic Runagate where Yukari states "The moon was unthinkably silent compared to the Gensokyo that was constantly noisy from bickering between humans and youkai. ~ Whether it was decay or pure heaven, I hated it. I needed the noise of the city." Close enough in my book to say that Yukari prefers noise over silence whether it be from people, a city, or cicadas.

Now when it comes to Son Biten, I didn't pressure myself as much to try and get her character right as I did with Yukari. She is one of the newest characters after all so there was less material to analyze her character. Although if I were to criticize myself about this fic, it would be that she's only there to be a plot point. I'll admit, I only really wanted her in here as a way to have the great sage equal to heaven and gensokyo and an actual sage interact. I will say I did a little bit of research to Son's personality, but I more or less just had her trying to do her best pretending to live up to the title she gave herself (Even though her character is more than just that).

And for good measure at the end I threw in a poem, this time in the tanka form (5-7-5-7-7). This was overall a lot of fun to write! I tried to format the story as a whole similar to a Hifuu story as well as the "A Beautiful Flower Blooming Violet Every Sixty Years" story. Speaking of Hifuu, I did throw in a little reference to Taboo Japan Disentanglement, did you happen to catch it? Well I hope you enjoyed my little story, I'm gonna go order some pizza and I'll see you again next year! (Hopefully!)

[tmwcs]

Hey! Its my first time sending an ask hehe~ I just wanted to say that you’re such an amazing writer and your series are just sooooo good!!! 😍😍😍 I started getting into your account when I came across the smau for MRE and HHP and I gotta say, you got me hooked so bad onto Heethan that I end up loving all your Hee-leads so far! I’m so invested in HHP, SE7EN, DT and now TO! I’m honestly so excited to read a new chapter everytime you post hahaha! 🤭🤭

The main reason I wanted to send you this is cuz I’ve been having super stressful and bad days these past few days and its mainly cuz its my final year in college, final semester and final week actually 😅 and there’s just like sooo many final preparations needed to be done for my big final year project (having my big presentation today! soooo nervous) and its just been too much and too overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother anyone with my anxiousness so I’ve been keeping it all to myself and having slight panic attacks and just started having random breakdowns as I complete my assignments. Reading your series, whether its new chapters or just rereading older ones have given me comfort, like I really felt alone but its like Heethan, Heelel and the Heebros have become my comfort characters. It’s just been so overwhelming for me and I didn’t wanna bother my family with it, I only have one other friend that I trust with my whole life but rarely see her, we’re all busy and I just felt like I’m falling behind in everything. Even though the Hee-leads might be like crazy obsessed with the reader, its like I really needed them in my life just to have someone to drop everything just to hold and comfort me anytime life becomes too much for me. I’m actually crying while writing this to you hahaha… it just feels like everyone around me is moving so fast and I’m stuck at the back picking myself up just because I feel so overwhelmed and anxious easily. Turning 20 this year is another thing that has me feeling afraid of adulthood, my mum is pressuring me into getting a job immediately once I graduate but I just feel like I’m not ready, or I’m just not ready to give up my teenage freedom and socialise professionally. Being such an introvert and shy and always thinking I’m just dumb and cant do work without help has been holding me back from wanting to grow and enjoy this new chapter in life.

So sorry for this long ass rant but i just really needed to let you know how much your stories, your Hee-leads have been keeping me going. Excited for the next chapters of your series! Hope you’re having a great day❣️

Omg so....I LOVE THIS.....this is so heartwarming and thank you for sharing it with me. Also, thank you for discovering my blog so you can write this to me, bc as you may have figured, receiving asks are just....its so nice. its a nice and wonderful surprise to hear from readers interesting in my work, wanting to know more about the characters and so forth. I am just beyond touched that heethan, heelel, and heebrows have made their way into your heart and to provide you comfort. in fact, reading your message had reminded me of a piece that i had started to draft (it was originally supposed to be a part of one of the HHP chapters but i never went through with it) but i still had it in my folders so after i finished reading your message, I decided to go back and actually finish it and format it specifically for you as y/n. I hope you like it. <3

Heeseung's Message.....

MDNI18+ content below the line.

Warnings: mentions of losing loved ones, fears and worries about the future, smut, car smut, unprotected smut, some....just some sadness....its a very heartwarming and touching piece.

"What's wrong baby?"

Noting how silent you were in the car, right after he picked you up, Heeseung rubbed your thigh, gently shifting your skirt upwards as he softly slid his hand up and down, enveloping you with warmth and comfort. "Something on your mind pretty baby?"

Placing your hand on his, you grabbed hold semi-tightly, keeping your gaze out at the window. You were hesitant at first, noting that Heeseung had a busy schedule of his own, was on his way of finishing his last year in college, aiding his professors, and of course, there was you....picking you up from classes, dropping you off every morning, taking you wherever you needed to go. You appreciated it but the man had completely devoted his time to everything else, you felt it selfish to bring any matters up to him....feeling that whatever time he did have left within the evening, he should at least have it for himself.

"It's nothing." You sighed out.

Glancing over to you, he furrowed his brows and quickly shifted the wheel, stirring the car over to a nearby parking lot on one of the campus buildings.

"What are you....?" raising up in your seat, you looked around before turning your gaze over to Heeseung, who steered the wheel with one hand and in a smooth motion, parked the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt, his gaze meets with yours before he reaches up and places his hand behind your head, softly grabbing onto your hair as he leans in and rests his forehead against yours.

"Whats wrong? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I wanna know. Tell me, y/n."

His eyes were wide and his expression was fierce with rage, however, before he further ventured off into a spiraling path of unhinged presumptions, you reached up and latched your fingers onto his collar, placing a dainty kiss on his lips. "Its not that....I promise nothing like that happened."

Raising his brows and tilting his head, he releases the gentle grip he had on your hair, and replaced it with a soft, petting motion. "Then why are you being so quiet? You seem upset, what is it?"

Looking down at the console for just a second, you raise your sights once more to meet his and began talking.

".....Are you ever scared about the future, Heeseung?"

His face was taken slightly aback as he raised both brows and looked at you with an intent look.

"Is that what this is about? Are you feeling overwhelmed about moving?"

Shaking your head, you looked down once more as you shyly clarified. "Nooo.....its not just that....its more..."

"Like what baby?"

"Like....after the moving.....finishing college, being in an unfamiliar country, not knowing anybody, making new friends, meeting your family, being apart from mine, learning a new language, finding a job after college, and what if I have to do more college? Or ...." pausing, you caught yourself drifting in verbal thought.

"Or....?" He draws out as he bids you to finish your statement.

"Or........what if....what if something happens and we........you know.....what if we just...."

Squinting his eyes slightly, his expression looked a little irked as he rolled his tongue in his mouth. "That's never going to happen y/n. You know that."

"Yeah but....."

"But what?" Slightly annoyed, he closed his eyes for a second, tilted his chin down, and lifted his lids to expose a rather stern and rather angry look. Yet the moment he saw that your eyes began to glisten, shining like diamonds as the tears started to build up, you looked down once more, unable to look him square in the eye as you felt the first tear break free and drip down on the leather padding of the console.

Watching as you faintly sobbed, he nearly felt his heart break into two. He gasped out a faint breath as he reached over with his other hand and cupped your face, no longer expressing a look of annoyance.

"Hey......why? What's making you think that way? Am I not showing you enough love? You know whatever it is you want, all you have to do is tell me and I'll make it happen."

"Its not that i just........there's just some things we can't predict about the future Heeseung......what if some day......what if you stop loving me......or worse.....what if something happens and I no longer have you? What if....just.......you never know.....is it wrong for me to hope for the best, but expect the worse? Because...you know that life can be so unfair some times....and I....I....I'm scared because....I dont even know....what I'm scared of sometimes. I wake up every single morning not even knowing how to live life because there's so many things that I think about....so many things that are thrown at me all at once and I just.....I feel like sometimes......I might fail......I feel like sometimes.....I will let you down.......I feel like its not the world, its me.........its me that's broken, not you or anyone else."

You gasped out tears and soft cries as you spoke straight from the heart. For the first time, Heeseung had sincerely considered if going to Korea was the best option, at least just for a second before he reminded himself of the future that he had waiting for him.....a future that would allow him to continue to keep you....safe....and with him.

Shifting his sights around on the floor bed of the car, his thumbs stroke your cheeks, wiping away the continuous flow of tears that were now coming down harder than before. Gulping down a hard swallow, he turns back to face you.

"Baby.........look at me....please look at me."

Looking up into his gaze, your eyes red, swollen, with eyelashes drenched and your face stained with wet trails of all your fears leaving their mark. With a soft smile, he calmly speaks.

"You're right.....that is tough. There's a lot that we can't control in the future....its precarious, and we're literally just pawns on the board of this silly game called life, where God and the universe are taking turns making each move. It can be cruel, unfair, and tormenting. Its something that we can either overcome with great strife and hard work."

"But what happens if we work so hard and it.....it just doesnt work out? What if everything just falls apart Heeseung?"

"We wont know unless it happens y/n......the thing about the future, as much as we want it here in the present, so we can see and view what it has in store for us, thats....just not the way it works. That's not the way we work....we're not designed to know those things. We didn't become strong because we cheated, we became strong and survived because we, as humans, learned....the hard way."

Looking into his eyes, your vision started to become blurry all over as the next set of tears built up. Smiling as he continued to wipe your tears away, he continues.

"Y/n....for thousands of years, people have fallen, lost, and suffered at the creativity of the universe. Yet we never gave up......people had an urge to survive. Which is why at times, even when the entire world was on fire, times where a soldier never comes home, a woman loses her child, or when a doctor just doesnt have a cure.....we keep moving....we get back up and learn how to walk again. I can't sit here and tell you that I know that everything is going to be great.....I dont know. But what I do know.....is this...."

Shifting his hands down to your waist, he lifts you with his core strength as his abdominal muscles flexed under his shirt. Bringing you over onto his lap, he sat you down in a princess style as he cradled you against his chest.

"No matter what happens....I'm going to be there. I'm going to be there and I'm going to help you, just like you're going to help me. I'll never let anything happen to you....and.....you never have to worry about me not loving you .....noooooooo pretty baby......that's never going to happen, not loving you would be the worst offense against Heaven and humanity. As far as if anything were to happen to me...."

The moment Heeseung touched on that part of the subject, you sobbed uncontrollably against his neck.

"Heeeeeey, come on now. Nothing's even happen, why are you acting like that's a for sure thing?" he chuckles out as he kisses your forehead. "Listen..." Taking your hand in his, he continues.

"I'm not going anywhere......I'm not. I know this because I know what is living for me......you. I will never abandon you. Even if something did happen, you know i'm always going to be with you. You know how?"

Shaking your head, he brushes your hair away from your face.

"Moments like this baby. Every time we talk, touch, feel each other, love, eat, sleep, kiss, and when I fuck your brains out...." gripping onto your waist tightly, he presses his forehead against your own once more. "All the things we do, they never leave. So.......if there is ever a time where I am not physically here......you're always going to remember how i feel..." gliding his hand from your waist, he reaches down and gently trails it upwards under your skirt, his fingers reaching into your panties.

"You're going to remember my touch..." kissing your neck, he latches his mouth onto your soft spot under your ear, and rings the tip of his tongue around in slow circular motions.

"You're going to remember my scent...." with his free hand, he reaches behind your head and gently pushes your face inward, causing your nose to become burrowed in his thatch of dark long, shaggy hair, inhaling the scent of his cool-mint cologne and his shampoo.

"You'll also remember what I taste like...." placing a soft peck on the spot he was sucking on, he tilts his head up slightly and brings your head down to kiss him.

"And best of all......pretty baby.......you're going to remember what it feels like when I fuck you......when I love you." Shifting your body to face forward, your back completely spooned by his chest and groin as you both remained seated in the drivers side, he spreads your legs open by pushing our inner thighs apart. You were so caught up with the sensual four play, you hadn't realized that he tore off your panties. Unbuttoning your blouse, exposing your breasts, he shifts you up as he levels his length to align with your slit, before proceeding to enter inside you. Feeling full of his flesh, you moaned out as the overwhelming sense of pleasure hits you........taking you away from the abysmal depths of your fears and worries.

Steadying you in a reverse cowgirl position, filing you, his cock melts inside you as he begins thrusting slow and steady, picking up the pace as your walls become more moist.

"You feel me pretty baby?"

"Y-yes!"

"Yeah? You gonna remember me forever?"

"Y-yes...yes! He-Heeseung!"

"You gonna remember what this feels like?"

"Yes!"

"What does it feel like baby? Tell me."

"F-f......fe-feels......ssss......goood......soo....soo.goood....ugh!"

"Harder or faster baby?"

"ugh! both! please both!"

Thrusting repeatedly, your body falls limp as he holds you upright, with one arm wrapped around your waist, and his other hand shifting a grip between your neck and your exposed breast, he muffles your moans and screams with his mouth as he swallows every single bit of your precious tones.

"Gonna cum for me?"

"Y-ye.....yes!...yes.......ugh! He-Heeseung!"

"Yeah? You gonna cum because you're a good girl?"

"Mmm!mmmmmm....mmmhmmm!....ugh!"

"You my good girl?"

"Y....yes!!"

"Yeah you are.......now fucking cum on me. Let me feel it."

Adding more depth to each thrust, you gasped out your screams of pleasure as he rams his cock deep inside, separating new found walls and extracting the moisture out of your body. Reaching orgasm and releasing all over his member, your thighs shake relentlessly.

"Good girl.....my turn."

Cupping your lower tummy, he pushes in and feels his thick length as it slides in and out, he found it amusing how your sensitive body could take him like this, especially feeling it inside you as he was doing right now. Jacking his member deep inside you at a rapid and hard momentum, he finally reaches his moment and with one last punctured thrust, he bucks his hips upward as he shoves you down, mashing your bodies together as he releases inside and fills your body up.

Pulling your head back as he latches his mouth on your neck yet again, suckling as your body bounces rigorously from the tenacity of his performance.

Feeling the pleasure of his tainted love, you somehow were to understand his message clearly, all due to Heeseung extracting you from your fears......which he had done before, back when Samuel sent you his email......back when you and Heeseung came together for the first time.....the start of your guys story. Just as he did back then, he helped you to understand, that the reality of what life gives, is never necessarily the ending to your story. The more he kept pumping into you, the more you were reminded of that clarity. Yea sure, you still felt scared, but knowing that if at first you dont succeed....reach happiness.....or if things just dont work out, you can and should always, try-try again. A lesson you were always reminded of, all thanks to Heethan.

Authors note: Lol, sooooooo...yeah this original draft did have some smut....and i was going to take it out but it was too crucial for me to do so. I hope you dont mind that. But, this chapter was originally drafted, back a few months ago. I had this thought in my head, since I have only taken a few college courses, and am about to start back up on it, I was feeling so dreadful and felt too nervous about doing well. I want to succeed in reaching my educational goals....but what also kind of bugged me was....will i still find time to write? I love writing, truly do. Mainly because it brings other people joy and brings out their most inner feelings. I had so much on my mind that time that i had began drafting this, but as i was writing it, i left it unfinished bc honestly, when i drafted heethan's message.....literally its like his voice was telling me what to write....i felt better. like it was a nice little reminder....realistic...very rational....and honest...but still positive and holds truth. there's a lot of things we can't control, but we should never give up. Its okay to be scared and to worry, that's natural, and that is exactly why people such as myself are here, writing these chapters and stories for you all because i know that there is such a thing called 'life' and sometimes....we just need a break from it to refresh ourselves. I know you have alot on your plate, but dont worry because everything will be more than fine. We have to pace ourselves, work hard, but also rest, and play from time to time. Eat and drink well, and finish strong. finish college, work with your mother and teach her to work with you, if you dont get the job you really want, no big deal. no matter what job you get, if its one you dont want, nothing lasts forever. just think that whatever you do now, it is only making you more marketable for the dream goal you have. I hope you continue strong because while you do have alot on your plate, you've been slaying....you've been killing it! and that's a major accomplishment in itself, last of year of college? woohoo! finish strong!

So now i should apologize for responding with the longest post ever lol. but i really hope this makes you feel better. Reading your message had reminded me of this piece and i am so glad you sent it to me because....looking at it now...and actually finishing it......this was something that was meant to be published and shared. bc it holds an important message for all of us. <3

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️ 

☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[hellhound5925]

Alrighty, so as I have mentioned before, I am switching gears to write a Mandalorian fic. I have finished what I’m calling the Prologue for now (idk if I really like that) but its a little story from a time before the actual fic itself takes place. I hope you enjoy! There will be plenty more Din/Raven where this came from and don’t worry I’ll still write for Hunter from time to time!

Welcome to,

Cyare Verd *Beloved Warrior* The Mandalorian Edition (I know, I know, I’m not original but I suck at titles)

Prologue - The Encounter

Summary:

This is setting up a little backstory for the beginning of my new fic. There will be fun mood boards for each chapter created my both myself and my wonder friend @lune-de-miel-au-paradis who is hella talented! (Thanks girl 💖) I hope you enjoy and be on the look out for Chapters going forward! If this is something you would like to be tagged in please drop a comment, send me an ask, send a message, whatever fits your fancy 😊 I promise I’ll shut up and we get right to it!

Warnings:

Always gunna put 18+, violence and thats bout it for now. Smut will be in the actually fic itself but I’ll post the warning accordingly. Also, If I miss something I’m sorry, I’m not very good at warnings 😅 There will be Mando’a but ya girl always provides a translation so have no fear.

————

The entire time I've been looking for this bounty, someone else is a few steps behind me. How do I know? Well I backtracked and paid a bar keep to get ahold of me with any information about someone asking about the individual I had. The Twi-Lek contacted me only hours later with a description. She sounded worried but not for me when she said "All I know is he looked just like you." Two Mandalorians hunting the same bounty? Strange but not completely out of the ordinary. I mean a lot of our people resorted to bounty hunting, with our skill sets and love for getting into fights makes us the best at the job. I decided I would make my way back and tail him for a bit, seeing if he took the bait. Thanks to my cunning wit he did.

    This must be the one the barkeep was talking about - I think to myself. A Mandalorian man walks a few paces ahead of me covered in mismatched pieces of armor topped off with a shiny chrome helmet. I chuckle to myself, knowing that because of my cloak he won't know who or what I am. He stops momentarily like he's aware of my presence but little does he know, I'm a master of hiding in the shadows. Spinning around on his heel he walks my direction, hand hovering over his side arm. I take the opportunity to slip further into the dark, down an alley. He stops in almost the exact spot I was only moments ago. Now that he's closer I can now get a good look at his stature, he's taller than me and definitely more muscular.

    His shiny helmeted head slowly looks my way down the alley - so he's smart...I'll give him that. Taking a few cautious steps, he makes his way towards me. I climb up onto the rooftop of the short building next to me. He should paint that armor, he sticks out like a Bantha in the ocean of sand on Tatooine. Smirking to myself I wait until he is directly below me before clearing my throat. He immediately looks up, drawing his blaster taking a shot at me. Crossing both vambraces in front of me, the bolt pings off my armor, breaking the cold dark silence of the night with a loud crack.

    As if time stood still, I jump down in front of him and one hand connects with the elbow of his outstretched arm causing it to bend, pointing his blaster away from me. Using my other hand, I free the blaster from his grip sending it somewhere into the shadows. He counters with a left hook which passes over my head as I duck, rolling back into the shadows. He loses track of me and frantically spins around preparing for my next move.

    I slink around him in the darkness just out of his view, like a predator circling its prey. He reaches up in a slow careful movement, for his vambrace likely to change the setting on his HUD - I would do the same. To stop him, I crouch and in one swift movement of my foot I catch his ankle, pulling hard, and sending him to the ground face first with a grunt. Standing to my full height, I can't help the chuckle that escapes watching the large man hit the ground by my hand...or foot.

    His head snaps in my direction and I'm immediately full of regret. Using his whip cord, he grabs my leg pulling me flat on my back into the light. I hit the ground so hard it knocked the wind out of me. Next thing I know, he's standing over me staring down at me through his visor. His body language shifts and I realize why, my hood fell while I was being pulled to the ground exposing my helmeted head. Slamming my fist and throwing my head back on the ground, a string of curses in Mando'a leave my lips. When I pick my head back up, he is still standing there staring down at me, the T-snapped visor is almost menacing at this angle.

"You could at least help a girl up" my sassy tone, exaggerated by my helmets modulator.

    He offers me a hand, I take it and he pulls me to my feet.

"I'm sorry if I had known—"

"You weren't supposed to" I cut him off, my tone annoyed "Kinda the point of the hood." I'm not sure what annoys me more, his reaction or the fact he actually got one over on me. I brush myself off and straighten out my Kama. Looking up, I realize he is watching my every move.

I break the silence, getting right to the point "So you've been tracking me? Or my bounty at least. Why?"

"Quite honestly, I didn't know I was tracking you. You cover your tracks well." He compliments me and for a moment my pride swells. I didn't work this hard to become the expert I am just to have some di'kut (fool) ruin it. He pulls out a bounty puck from his pocket, showing it to me. It displays the face of the same man I'm hunting.

"Well I hate to break it to you, but I was here first." I say, poking him square in the chest plate. Now with how close we are and standing still, I can see how worn his armor is. It probably belonged to a family member of his or something. Although with the shiny shoulder pauldron and helmet, it makes me wonder if he's a foundling. They often use whatever armor they can find or are given until they can make their own. These days however, beskar is quite difficult to come by.

His voice pulls me from my thoughts, "How about we work together. Share the profits?"

I immediately scoff, crossing my arms over my chest and shifting my weight to one leg. "I don't think so. I work alone. Plus I'd be taking a pay cut."

"Your loss" He says monotone before turning to pick his blaster up before walking away.

    I'm taken aback by his comment. Does he really think he's better than me? One of my biggest downfalls is people doubting me just because I'm a woman.

"You know...the last man to doubt me ended up with a broken nose and stitches."

He continues walking as if he didn't hear me, but I know he did. "Te jatne beroya kelir parjir (may the best bounty hunter win)" I whisper under my breath. Flipping my hood back over my head, I storm off in the opposite direction he went.

    Cursing to myself in my native tongue, I take a few moments to collect myself from the encounter and get back to work. Before the Twi-lek had gotten a hold of me about my tail, I had tracked the bounty to a small village a few kicks due north. It's quite a distance to walk but I really don't feel the need to take my ship there. Thankfully I've stashed my speeder bike on board, it makes for tight living quarters but it works I guess.

    Once I reach my ship, I give the bike a quick once over before dragging it down the ramp. Giving it a quick start, it seems to be running fine. I hop on and speed off towards the small down, in hopes my counterpart hasn't already caught on. Luckily for me, I paid the Twi-lek a little extra to send him astray.

———

    By the time I make it to the village, the early morning sun is beginning to brighten the sky. The village also appears to be waking up which is perfect. A few people are milling around giving me strange looks and at first they are stand offish - which really is not a surprise to me...people seem to be afraid of Mandalorians. I approach an older woman who doesn't seem to be bothered by my presence.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but I'm looking for someone and was wondering if you might help me?"

She doesn't stop what she's doing and speaks quietly, "Not here...follow me." She turns and heads between two of the small huts.

Leading me into a small hut that appears to be some kind of storage shed, she stops. "I figured it was better we talk here."

I cock my head at her. "The locals around here are uneasy about people asking questions. I think I know exactly who you are looking for. You see there have been mercenaries lurking around."

I don't move or say anything and she continues, "You look like a capable warrior....get rid of them." She must sense that I'm eyeing her.

"You must be wondering why I would trust some stranger...I've heard the stories about Mandalorians...it will be easy work for you and solve our problem."

I offer her a curt nod, "Where can I find them?"

———

    Having followed the exact directions the old woman gave me which lead me to a camp just east of the village. I find a good scouting spot and perch myself at the top of a hill near some brush. Using my HUD's thermal scan, I get a read on how many are down there - 12...I've taken out worse...Leaving my perch, I walk towards their camp and they do exactly as I had expected. A group of 2 meet me at the road while 2 others stand guard.

"You lost?" One of them asks. I tilt my visor between the four of them, calculating my move depending on how this conversation goes.

"I asked you a question."

"I heard you" I sass.

Scoffing the man turns to the others laughing.

"Did I say something funny?" I snap, starting to lose my patience.

"This one seems to be a little slow" another one says, his tone mocking me.

"You've got quite the mouth on you, young lady" The first man says walking a circle around me checking out my armor.

I'd take him out right there but there's always a bigger fish. Not only that, he'll get what he deserves,

"No. I'm not lost. I'd like to speak to the one in charge, since it's clearly not you."

After he finishes his circle he stops in front of me with a disgusted look on his face, "Follow me." He leads me into the camp with the others trailing behind.

Stopping at the fire, and the man turns to me "Wait here." He disappears into their ship.

    Looking over my shoulder, I make a mental note of where the other 3 are standing behind me. As I look around more come out of the woodwork, coming to a grand total of 10 - someone's paranoid and rightfully so. Just then the man from earlier appears followed by 2 more - one wearing the face of the man on my puck.

"I hear you asked to speak with me" he says, voice booming through the camp.

"There's a bounty out for you. I'm here to collect" my tone is flat, this group seems like one that would get spurred on by irritation.

The bounty takes out a blade and starts walking towards me laughing "Darling..." He starts and drags the flat side of the blade across my chest, to my shoulder, and around my back.

"Wonder how much we could get for armor like that? What'd ya think boys?" There's a series of whoops and hollers.

He stops dragging the blade and leans in to whisper, "or maybe I'll just keep it as a trophy."

I smirk to myself, "Be careful what you wish for" venom dripping from my words.

Sliding my hands down towards my blasters, I get ready to draw them. Just as I'm about to, their leader takes the knife and puts it to my throat, getting in close, "I don't think so."

    Kneeing him in the crotch he drops to the ground in pain. Seconds after blaster fire begins to ping off my armor. I let out a low growl that sounded quite feral through my modulator. A few of the mercs begin to drop but not by my hand, blaster fire from an unknown source rings out through the air. The men in front of me look around in confusion and I take the opportunity to quickly restrain my bounty and knock him out. I then draw my blaster firing at the 3 closest to me and their bodies slump to the ground. Bending over I grab the blade - that was previously dragged across my armor - and send it flying through the air before burying itself into the chest of the man taunting me earlier.

    Getting both myself and my bounty to cover, I make mental note of the direction the blaster fire comes from. Once I figure out where they are, I pick the bounty up - who thankfully is a small human man - throwing him over my shoulder, and racing to my speeder. Putting as much distance between me and the sound of the fight behind me as fast as I can.

    Once I get there, I quickly throw him on before starting it up and jumping on myself. A blaster bolt flys over my head and a familiar modulated voice yells something that I can't quite hear over the speeder's engine. Annoyed, I whip my helmeted head around, to see the Mandalorian from last night running in my direction. With a smirk plastered on my face, I speed off towards my ship. Getting away with the bounty we both wanted.

"I guess we know who the better bounty hunter is."

Tags: @cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter

@savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

[papyrus-in-practice]

Hey, y’all! I wanted to give an update on Papyrus in Practice and other related stuff.

“It’s been about a year, where’s the next page!?”

Wow, when I saw it’s actually been a year, I kind of blanched a bit. I didn’t mean for the hiatus to last that long. Next page is actually done. In fact, a couple of pages are either done or close to done. I’m trying to build up a big buffer so that, hopefully, there will be a smaller gap between updates in the future. My plan is to have eight pages completed, line art for four pages done, have the script for the next scene done, and have a couple of pages worth of sketches ready. As I’m typing this, six of the eight next pages are done with the remaining ones in various stages of completion and two of the four next pages have finished line art. I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking the script for the final scene for the past twenty months and honestly frustrated in how to wrap up the chapter in a satisfying way that won’t make me stuck on chapter 4 for another two years because the climax and conclusion is so long. So, that’s where I’m at now.

“I wrote something in the ask blog and didn’t get a response.”

I read every comment and every ask sent to me and, most likely, have at least attempted to write a script to answer it. But, I gotta weigh my options. Do I answer it at risk of delaying Papyrus in Practice for another month or focus on the comic? Depending on how elaborate the answer is, it might take a while to make a response. There are also things I just don’t know how to answer to and, believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a good answer, but I’m also still learning about life myself and I’ve found that, sometimes, my answer to a question has changed a lot over time. Sometimes, I’m afraid of saying something that’s ultimately harmful. It’s a tricky balance. At the end of the day, I've never guaranteed a response to any ask and never will guarantee a response. There are still some asks that I'd like to get around to, maybe if chapter 4 finishes or I get burnt out while making it and need a change of pace.

“Are you actually a therapist?”

Yup. I just graduated this past May with a masters in art therapy counseling. My title right now is a qualified mental health professional or QMHP. I’m waiting to take the National Counselor’s Exam to obtain my LPC but government paperwork is a looooong process(seriously, some of my colleagues have been waiting in the queue for over a year to get their LCPC). In the meantime, I can still practice as a therapist as long as I check in with a supervisor and have been practicing and slowly building my caseload for the past couple of months.

“Can you be my therapist/give therapy to this person?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is that there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to providing mental healthcare and breaching ethical guidelines could impede therapy progress, bring potential harm to the client, myself, or I could get in big legal trouble. I can also only practice if the client is located in my home state and goes through the company I work for since I need supervision to practice. However, I’d be happy to provide resources like websites that help you find a therapist, even for a reduced price, or self-help sites that can help you learn skills and develop tools to use that can boost your mental well-being. I cannot, however, provide mental health services.

“Will (insert character’s name) meet with Papyrus?”

Maybe. I’ve got ideas for characters in mind, but it’s more a question of how much longer I want to be doing this for. I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m getting burnt out. I want to do different projects or even revisit older projects, but I tell myself I can’t do that until I finish Papyrus in Practice or, at the very least, finish chapter 4. I didn’t think this chapter would go on for as long as it has, but it also makes sense. We’ve already hit page 25 which is almost as long as the entirety of chapter 3 and I don’t even know if we’re halfway done with the chapter yet. The way it’s looking, chapter 4 may easily hit at least 50 pages.

“So, when will you be posting again?”

Soon! Hopefully, before the end of the year. When I start updating again, I’ll be posting one page every other week which gives at least a few months of content for y’all.

That being said, I’ll see you soon!

-Meemie

[spnexploration]

Collared part 28

Pairing: Dean x Reader eventually

Series summary: Sam and Dean save a woman from where she has been held as a slave by a witch. But things turn dark whenever they try to take her magic collar off, leaving them with a slave to look after and a curse to break.

Episode summary: Dean tries to help you with your anger.

Warnings: none particularly

Word count: 1.6k

Series masterlist | Supernatural writing masterlist

A/N: Had to queue this up while I'm away, so apologies for not updating the mastlist or providing links to other chapters yet. Fixed now!

Part 27 <- -> Part 29

Apparently, the yo-yo was back into angry zone today, Dean thought. He was surprised it hadn’t even been him who’d set you off. No, Sam had the honours this time, although Dean couldn’t really follow your logic as to why you were mad at him. He wondered if you could.

And once you were mad, you were mad. He thought there had been a brief glimmer of hope that you’d calmed down when you’d stormed down to your room and hid for an hour, but when you emerged Sam had made the clearly heinous mistake of asking if you were ok, and you were off again.

“What the hell does it look like, SAMUEL?”

Dean tried to choke back a snigger at you calling him Samuel, but unfortunately he drew too much attention to himself. “And YOU,” you yelled, rounding on Dean, “you think this is funny?!” It felt like school, like you were expecting a ‘no, miss’ answer.

You grabbed your food and marched off.

Dean and Sam exchanged looks. It was going to be one of those days.

---

You weren’t in your room when Dean next went to check on you. You weren’t in the kitchen, library, bathroom or lounge room. Now he was getting worried. He sent Sam looking for you too, worried this was going to be a repeat of last time you’d been in a different part of the bunker.

He found you in the garage. You had Baby’s hood up and were poking around, making frustrated sounds. Some of the other cars had their driver doors open, too. He sent Sam a quick text to say he’d found you.

“Taking up mechanics, are you?” Dean asked, casually crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“None of the cars will start!” You yelled at him angrily, head still buried under the hood.

“Did you reconnect the car battery like I showed you?”

“Yes!”

“Good job, you learnt well.”

“But it still won’t bloody start!”

“That’s probably because I disconnected all of the spark plugs.”

 You came out from under the hood and marched towards him. “You. Did. WHAT?!”

“I disconnected the spark plugs,” he said calmly.

“WHY?” You were angry, but he was reassured to see that your pupils were the right size and you weren’t acting drunk or high.

“So you couldn’t start them.”

You clenched your hands into fists. “Am I your fucking prisoner? Is that it? Did you get the collar off so that I could have the illusion of freedom but not the actuality?!”

He uncrossed his arms. “No, I disconnected the spark plugs so that you wouldn’t crash and kill yourself trying to drive. I disabled Baby after I found you drunk, and the rest of them when I found you high. I’ve been reconnecting Baby every time I wanted to use her.”

“So I am your prisoner. Is Sam here under duress too?”

“Well, first of all Sam should know how to care for Baby and if he doesn’t then it’s his own fault for not paying attention to Dad and I trying to teach him. And secondly, no you’re not my prisoner. Name the place and I will take you there.”

“Oh, so I’m allowed supervised excursions but not to take myself there, is that it?” you asked sarcastically.

“In case you haven’t noticed, this is my car. Taking it without my permission would, in fact, be theft.”

You scowled at him. “FINE, can I borrow your stupid fucking car?”

“No.”

You gritted your teeth.

“I don’t think you’re safe to drive right now.”

“Oh, are you the world’s fucking expert on car safety?!”

“Show me you can make a calm, rational decision right now and I’ll reconsider. You’ve been screaming at me since I walked in, and I haven’t raised my voice once.”

He caught your punch as it sailed towards his face, his hand encircling your fist and capturing it. “This,” he said, shaking your fist slightly before releasing it, “is not making me think that you’re safe to drive.”

You glared but kept your hands by your sides, looking like you’d stopped. He didn’t buy it though, so he deliberately looked away from you, keeping watch on you out the corner of his eye. He saw your move, coming to attack him again. “Oh, no you don’t,” he said as he grabbed your wrists, spinning you around so that he had your back to his chest and he arms wrapped around your torso, pinning you there.

He waited a few moments, then said, “You finished?”

“Get off me!” you complained, struggling against his hold.

“You going to take another swing, or can we have a conversation like adults?”

“I said get off!!”

He slowly released you, and stepped back. You spun on your heels and glared at him, but didn’t try to hit him again.

“Come with me,” he said, gesturing out of the garage.

“What, am I in trouble? Is Sam the Principal’s Office?” Sarcasm still present, he noted.

“No, I have an idea for a more productive outlet for your anger than my face or my car.”

---

You reluctantly followed Dean to a part of the bunker you’d never been to before. You were a bit worried about what he was going to do, but you felt like you should follow him given you had just tried to punch him twice and he hadn’t returned the favour.

He opened the door to an old gym. This had been here the whole time?

He led you over shelves where he pulled off some boxing gloves. “These might be a bit big for you and they’re pretty old fashioned, but they’ll do.” He started to attach them to your hands and you let him.

You followed him mutely to the punching bag in the centre of the room. You had started to calm down a little on the walk here, feeling embarrassed about trying to punch a freaking monster hunter.

But underneath the surface, the same emotions that led you to do it in the first place were still there. Your frustrations with yourself, fear of Azaneth, boredom and monotony of life in the bunker, and anger at Dean for disabling the cars to trap you. Just thinking about it brought your anger back to the surface.

“Hit it,” Dean said, holding it steady.

“What are you, my personal trainer?” you sassed at him.

“I’m not kidding Y/N, hit it. You’ll feel better.”

Feeling like a fool, you took a bit of a swing at the bag.

“Hit it like you mean it.” You tried again, only slightly harder. “Hit it like it’s me,” Dean said with an irritating grin.

You punched it. Hard.

“There we go,” he laughed.

Now that you started, you didn’t want to stop. You hit it again, and again, and again, and again. Your arms started to burn and you kept going, getting your frustrations out.

You started to get tired, but you could also feel the flame of your anger starting to extinguish. Your blows slowed down.

“You wanna tell me what brought this all on?” Dean asked.

“You disabled the cars.”

‘You were angry before you even knew I’d disabled the cars. Go deeper, Y/N.”

“You’re treating me like a child, again.”

“I’ll pay that one slightly, but I don’t think that’s your whole problem.” Every time he argued back, you had a small spurt of energy to keep going on the punching bag.

“I can’t even buy my own bloody clothes or sit on the fucking furniture. I’m useless!”

“I didn’t know there was a global shortage of people available to fulfill our chair-sitting needs,” Dean said with a smirk.

You punched the bag near his face, “Har har.”

You took a few breaths, the next answer not coming with the same anger as before, “I’m the reason you’re not out there hunting things. I’m in the way.”

Dean let go of the punching bag and reached out to your hands. You looked down at the floor until he brought his hand to your chin, gently nudging it until you looked up.

“I know we're called hunters sweetheart, but the only reason we hunt things is to save people.”

“You’re not exactly saving people when I’m in the way, are you?” you said bitterly.

“Are you not a person?”

“You know what I mean, Dean!”

“I know that what you mean is that you are discounting yourself, again. I know that what you mean is that you think you’re not worthy of being saved, worthy of time. But you are, Y/N, you are. I would do everything I have done for you again, in a heartbeat. No regrets.”

You started to cry. He reached out and pulled you to him, wrapping his arms around you in a hug. You sobbed into his chest, weeks of emotions seeming to come pouring out.

After a minute or two, he manoeuvred you so that he could reach and take off your boxing gloves, while you stayed against his chest, still crying. It did feel better to have them off. He held you again, sometimes rubbing his hand on your back gently.

Eventually, your sobs settled down. You stood up away from him, wiping your eyes. You could see a wet patch on his shirt. Whoops.

“You feeling better?” Dean asked gently. You nodded. “Good. Next time you’re feeling those big emotions, you come find me and we’ll come here and you can box or even try out any of the other equipment. You don’t have to try to find ways to deal with this alone, ok?” You nodded again.

He put the boxing gloves back on the shelf and turned back you. “And sweetheart?” You looked up at him. “Don’t try and steal my car.”

You laughed.

.

.

.

.

Taglist:

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[atlasofthestaars]

i love love love this timeline's raiden i want to hold him in my hands like 🤲 and the little moment reader and him have at the end of chapter 4 was so cute oh my word 😭😭😭 "Yes please!" DO YOU HEAR ME CRYING 😭😭😭😭 ++ a question if you dont mind!! which of the characters (either ones you have written already or havent yet) would you say was the hardest to get a grasp on, personality wise? i deeply admire your dedication to writing a series following the story mode!

Same! I've always been a fan of Raiden, but this variation of Raiden has a VERY special place in my heart. I'm glad you enjoyed that part! I wanted to end it on a cute and light note :D

Hopefully within the next few chapters I can continue to provide more of those cute moments!

Oh and for your question, you gave me an opportunity to rant on characters for my FAVORITE series, so I will take this opportunity.

Also! I finally figured out how to put the keep reading link, so hopefully now I can prevent my page from being such a scroll LMAO

I have a lot of different reasons and feelings why the characters I find "difficult" are difficult, so I'll be splitting them into tiers/groups so you can kinda get a grasp on my mindset, tiers are ordered from "easy hard" to "hardest"

Also I'm JUST talking about MK1 characters in this post.

VILLAINS

On the BASE level I think the villains are actually pretty easy to write for. Aside from Shang Tsung and Rain who I am NOT including in this tier, I find that most of the villains are kindaaa one note. General Shao seeks power and seeks to elevate his position (actually, on second thought this isn't the BEST way to describe him, but I feel like I can write dialogue for him no issue), Bi-Han wants power and is kind of an asshole (sorry! but it's a good way to describe how he talks towards others) Quan-Chi, etc. etc. they all kinda fall under the "want one thing and are willing to do anything to get it with varying degrees of assholishness. And then there's Reiko who feels like the slight exception to that rule but his gimmick is General Shao and fighting. So why do I have a tier for them for hard to grasp personalities?

It's trying to figure out how to flesh out these characters without making them too far off from their original characters. It's not TOO hard, but I do think a lot on how to add depth in a believable way.

I'M IN JUST MY HEAD

This tier is like, I understand them, but I feel like I ALWAYS need to double check with their intros to make sure that I am getting them right, and when I do I just find oh. Nevermind I'm right.

Scorpion - I do NOT know why I struggle with Kuai Liang in this timeline, but I do! I just think for some reason I write him weird or don't quite understand how to write him, but every time I double check I'm like, yeah no that works.

Johnny Cage - He confuses me for NO reason at all, and I think it's because of how in every game his attitude is SLIGHTLY different every time in storymode/intros. In MK9 he's full comedic relief. In MKX/11 they tone him down a bit, but in 11 his younger self is more akin to his 9 self. I would say 1 is a good balance of comedy and and seriousness, but I always want to make sure I'm striking that balance.

Kung Lao - I don't know WHY I doubt myself so much on him. He is legitimately my favorite character, and that's probably it. I trust that I know him, but I worry that I might flanderize him despite how much I adore him. I think this is just me putting a lot of pressure on myself to get him so right so I can show you all why I personally love him.

NOT A LOT OF EXPERIENCE

While I've finished the MK1 story and watched a lot of intros, I've not dedicated a lot of time to these characters and looking too much into them.

Tanya - I like her! I just haven't gotten around to looking too much into her. I get the basics of her character, but I don't quite get the nuance of her yet. She also mostly sticks around the princesses in story mode too so her personality doesn't get to shine too much there either.

Havik - I haven't looked too much on him, and it doesn't help that the story mode doesn't do much with him (probably due to the credits scene), so I don't really know much! I know about his whole archanist schtick for the freedom of his people, his self heal, etc. but I don't really know much about him outside of that.

Sindel - I like her as well, it's just that she keeps on changing in every iteration so this has me all jumbled up. I know she's a strong, firm leader who cares about her daughters and isn't afraid to do what she must for her people, but I don't really know why I don't feel confident. I feel like I don't quite understand all of her motivations as deeply as I should to call myself "confident", and I don't have a clear grasp on how she would treat those she isn't too familiar with but cordial with vs those she knows better, and even though that may not seem too important, it is to me since I don't know how to quite write a proper interaction between her and the reader yet.

VILLAINS PART TWO

Here I place the more complex villains.

Shang Tsung - He's sly, sneaky, cunning, etc. But he's a bit more than that I feel. He looks out mostly for himself and tries to gain power by putting others down, and I feel like despite me dabbling in villain characters, I'm a bit afraid that I won't know how to write the nuances that make his character more than just a simple snake and into an iconic character.

Rain - Okay. Lowkey I did NOT care for Rain before until this game. I didn't care for the descendant of Argus schtick before, so having him in this game as an ambitious mage with a character arc that goes from greeding for unlocking more of his power to a man who regrets those he hurts really interested me. I just wish that WHOLE arc was in the story mode and that most of that story wasn't locked behind his story. So the issue with him is that I feel like he never got much time in the story to show how he acts before he was revealed as a character, he was kinda just there. And we don't really get to know how he acts before because I feel like a good chunk of his intros talk about the aftermath of his crimes and how he feels afterwards. So basically, I know how to write him after the tragedy, but not clear on how to flesh his arc out since he was sidelined so much.

COMPLEX TO ME

I just feel like these characters always make me question if I'm writing them right, both in actions and in dialogue

Kenshi - Everytime I think of him his MKX variation pops up instead. I know he's more of a serious character in 1, but I know there's definitely more there. I just feel like I always need to refer to all the material I can for Kenshi because I get SO worried that I'll butcher him badly and I do NOT want that because I think he's a cool character. He's a character I struggle to write for at the moment, and I hope to improve on that.

Reptile - I feel like most times people brush him off as just a "good man" but I feel like there's more to him than that? And I cannot describe him well. I know he's a good guy at heart but that's all I feel like I can describe him as despite watching a good chunk of his intros. I don't know, I feel like I'm just ALSO worried about butchering him.

HARDEST

Smoke.

THIS MAN. Okay, so I feel like he is the one I fear flanderizing the MOST. I feel like I already wrote him kinda off character in the two lines I wrote for him. I feel like a lot of people simply write him off as a golden retriever, which I personally disagree with. BUT, I can see why people misinterpret this. I only get that vibe when he's with Johnny Cage since he seems to really look up and almost idolize the dude due to his acting career. Aside from that, I think he's a more down to earth person who is really respectful. He's a bit more lighthearted and can be an optimist at times, and even has a more playful and I feel like people take this aspect way too far. I don't think it's helped by the fact that he is contrasted by more edgier and serious characters like Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. I could go on and on about Smoke, but yeah. I think I understand him and can put him into words, but I feel like putting all those concepts into paper is just...a struggle for me.

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

1. one step closer

A/N: Hello everyone!! I present to you my very first LoZ fic!!! And also my first ever poly ship fic that's been posted, so I hope I do this as well as I'd like to. This story is actually inspired by a post I came across that was posted by @fangirlingpuggle, who gave me permission to use their idea as story inspiration!! I'll provide a link to the post if you'd like to see it!! Now, one thing I'd like to say about this story is that it's not just a Sidlink fic or just a Linkona fic. It is also a Sidyona fic. It is all three ships. I will try to balance out each one, showing each individual love story, plus the big one of just all three together. I have not yet decided which ship will be getting together first, or if it'll be an all three all at once type of thing, and because of my indecision, I would like to hear from you guys, my lovely readers, as the story progresses, on which ship you think would make the most sense when it comes to getting together first. It all depends on how I write it out, of course, but I just wanted to let y'all know ahead of time!! Last thing, this chapter is a little short compared to where the other chapters will be at length-wise, but it's also just a letter exchange this chapter, so there will be lots more in the next chapter!! Enjoy!!

Inspiration Post

Pairing(s): N/A

Summary: Sidon and Yona exchange a series of letters, keeping each other updated on everything happening in their lives, as childhood friends do

Tag(s): N/A

Word Count: 2,258

Song Inspiration: A Thousand Years By Christina Perri

Not beta’d, all mistakes are my own.

~*~

[Chapter 1]

~*~

[Read on AO3]

[Series Masterlist]

~*~

Dear Lady Yona,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, things around here have been a bit busy. Vah Ruta, the divine beast that my late sister Mipha once piloted, well, something has gone wrong with it. It's caused a near constant downpour of rain here in our domain and if we don't find a way to stop it, our reservoir will flood over the dam and completely take over not only our home, but much of the rest of Hyrule as well. And of course, us Zoras can survive just fine in such a situation, but the others in our land cannot, none of them have such an affinity for water as the Zora do.

With that in mind, I am terribly worried. We've been doing so much research it's making my head spin. I'm not sure I can take staring at another book right now, especially when everything it says is completely useless to our attempts in finding a solution to this problem. I just pray that we find a way to stop it soon.

How are things over in your domain? Good, I hope. I would never wish anything like the mess here on anyone. I miss you much, my friend, though I know if you were to visit right now, I would not be very good company to keep. And alas, I cannot bring myself to leave home at a time like this. As prince, I must face this head on. But once this is all over, we can work out the details, I suppose, no matter how far off that is. Get back to me whenever you find the time to do so.

Sincerely,

Sidon

~*~

Dear Prince Sidon,

Oh my. Please be careful. I, too, will be praying for a quick success in taming that divine beast. I wish I could help in some way. I am sending with this letter the few sheikah books I could find in our royal library, though I'm not sure if they'll be of any help, considering the sheikah have never spent much time here. But it's the least I can do. And do not worry about sending them back once you've looked over them. These have been collecting dust for decades over here. They will be much better off with you.

Things here in my domain are very well, though nothing very exciting has happened at the domain itself. However, recently, I've taken on two new handmaidens. Mother suggested I have them, especially since I've started doing a lot more traveling around our land. Khira and Chroma are lovely, when they're not bickering at least. Chroma can be a bit easily frazzled and Khira is usually very serious and strict. But I just try to remind them both that I am not counting on either of them being perfect. Just their companionship alone is wonderful to have.

But anyways. On your land, you have those winged tribe, yes? Those that resemble birds? I remember meeting one when we were younger, but I never had much contact with them besides that. But in my travels, I came across a very small village of them on our land! All the way across the sea! But they're much more colorful than the one I met. Brilliant greens and oranges and reds. I spent a few days there, learning about them and their culture. It's absolutely fascinating!

I may visit them again eventually, but for now, I've come back to the domain for awhile. I'll be setting out again soon, so I'll be sure to tell you lots more of my next adventure. And once this whole divine beast thing has settled down, I'll come visit your domain as soon as I can. Besides, mother has been a lot more pushy recently when it comes to our...arrangement. She believes it is time for me to finally marry, though I've tried to remind her that it's not just up to her and I, but you and your father as well. But there's no need to worry about that right now. That's for another time. Take care, dear Sidon, and I hope to hear from you again soon.

Yours,

Yona

~*~

Dear Lady Yona,

Thank you so much for the texts you sent. I will be going through them soon.  The rain is still neverending, but we're learning to get used to it for now. It's all we can do. And do not worry, I am being as careful as I can be. But enough of that. I'm so glad to hear of you going on such wonderful adventures, Yona. The... winged tribe, as you say, those are the Rito. It is indeed fascinating to learn of some being on your land, I thought they were only in Hyrule. The way you've described them, I bet they are quite the sight. Maybe one day I shall get to see them as well.

Tell me, what is having handmaidens like? I've always wondered. I have nothing of the sort, though I'm okay with that. Is it true they always follow you around and try to do everything for you that you may usually do yourself? I could never imagine having to deal with such a thing. Though my only experience with them is the few vague memories I have of Mipha having one and the stories I've heard about them, so maybe I'm not one who could be so biased against them.

Oh, yes. Our arranged marriage does seem to be coming up more and more these days. Both here and there, it seems. Father has been talking about it as well. Says he wants me to be prepared for when I finally take the throne, but I'm not so sure that will be happening anytime soon. But I suppose it would be best for us all to talk about it eventually. Once Vah Ruta is back to her normal self, our domain will happily host both you and your mother. Until then, I can't wait to hear of all your adventures to come. Please do keep in touch to the best of your abilities during your travels, I will find great joy in reading about them.

Sincerely,

Sidon

~*~

Dear Prince Sidon,

Ah, yes, the Rito! Forgive me for forgetting their name, it's been so long since I've heard it. Those I found here did not go by that name. They called themselves the Zitty. But they were the same species, I'm sure of it. Next time you find yourself on my land, I will definitely be sure to take you to see them. They're quite the lively bunch, and wonderful company to keep. I think you would fit in very well with them.

Silly Sidon. Yes, some handmaidens are very much like that. However, Khira and Chroma are not. While they do follow me to most places, they do not attempt to do something for me unless I ask it of them, thankfully. I could not handle being coddled in such a way either, so I am very grateful that they are not pushy in that regard. And no worries, I take none of your assumptions unkindly. I am happy to answer any questions you may have, about handmaidens or otherwise. You know that.

That sounds like a very good idea. I'm sure mother would love to spend some time overseas as well. Oh, it's been so long since I've paid a visit, I can't wait. Has any progress been made with Vah Ruta? Did my books help you at all? I apologize if they did not, though I hope that something has been found either way. Please keep me updated.

Yours,

Yona

~*~

Dear Lady Yona,

Yona. I cannot believe what this day has become. I do apologize if my writing isn't the best, I just can't keep myself from shaking. So much has happened in just this last pass of the sun through the sky. I will start with this. All of our research finally paid off and the books you sent me were definitely of great help with that. We learned of the way Vah Ruta works, of her mechanisms and what controls the water she spews. The best solution is to shock her system with electricity, like shock arrows. However, as you know, electricity is deadly to Zora, therefore we cannot use them.

Because of this, we'd begun asking for help. Traveling a bit away from the domain and looking for travelers, asking if any of them would be willing. We had no luck finding such a person, until yesterday. A young traveler was making his way past and I asked for his help. Later I found out that many others had spoken to him as well about what was going on. I asked for his help and he actually said yes! I was beyond grateful. He carried with him armor and weaponry, including a bow and arrow, so I already had high hopes for his success. He made his way to our domain and I did as well, trying to guide him whenever our paths crossed.

I had asked his name when we first met, and I didn't think too much of it at first. His name is Link. I'm sure he wouldn't be the first to be named after such a well-known hero. However, upon bringing him to meet my father, I found that I had been wrong. My father knows this young man. Because this Link is the same exact Link from one hundred years ago! And he came here to our domain to fix Vah Ruta as part of his quest to complete what was started all those years ago.

Oh, Yona, he's even more amazing than either one of us has ever imagined. Even better than all of our childish wonders. Him and I worked together quite closely in order to get Vah Ruta working properly again. I carried him on my back as I swam through the reservoir, getting as close to Vah Ruta as I dared so that he could shoot each of her mechanisms. I would launch him up and he would shoot up into the air, pulling his bow out with such ease. Once he had an arrow nocked, it was like time slowed down just for him. He made perfect shots each time. And then he ventured inside the divine beast to destroy the beast inside, the waterblight created by Calamity Ganon all those years ago, the same one that killed my sister, Mipha.

As soon as he was inside, I returned to the domain and waited anxiously for his return. He was gone for so long. He only just returned about an hour before I'm writing this, and the moon was already high in the sky. And when he finally returned, he looked exhausted. But miraculously, not a single serious injury was on him. He was covered in scratches and bruises, dried blood on most of them, and dirt all over his face, but that was the worst of it. And Yona, oh Yona. He's so beautiful. He's fierce, determined, kind, and gorgeous. I can understand why my sister fell for him so. I can't get him out of my head and my entire body is positively vibrating with excitement.

Now that Vah Ruta is tamed, you must come right away. With your mother, too, of course. You must come and meet him. He'll be staying in the domain for a few weeks before he moves on, so he'll definitely still be here when you arrive. Oh, I can't wait for you to see him. Please, come as soon as you can.

Sincerely,

Sidon

~*~

Dear Prince Sidon,

My friend, I write to you as my bags are being packed for my visit to your domain. Mother is delighted to be taking the trip and much like you, I find myself buzzing with excitement. What you've described...I cannot believe it. Link? The Link? How is that even possible? Oh, I'm sure you'll explain it when I get there. I'm so glad that the threat to your land is no more, I am so very grateful for whatever brought such a hero to your domain.

Oh, I want to know all about him. I haven't felt such a feeling since we were children, Sidon. And even now, my childish dreams are coming back to me, even if I know how silly they are. What do you think he thinks of you? What do you think he'll think of me? Do you think he likes women or men? Maybe both? What things does he like? What things does he dislike? I can't wait to ask.

Oh my, the excitement is overwhelming. I apologize for how short of a letter this is. It's mostly just to tell you that we will be leaving shortly and should arrive soon after this letter does. I cannot wait to see you again, Sidon. Make sure you put in a good word for me with our new hero friend, if it's not too much to ask.

Yours,

Yona

~*~

A/N: What did y'all think?? Please let me know!! I'd love to hear your thoughts!!! All feedback is much appreciated!!!

~*~

Taglist:

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Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist for this story and any others relating to it!!!

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - chapter 57

The sweet scent of cherry blossoms… The warm scent of freshly baked blueberry muffins… The beautiful meadow is full of lovely colorful flowers and mushrooms as tall as tree stumps… The sight of vibrant fireflies dancing outside my window at night… All I can picture right now is my childhood and the visually pleasing surroundings where I’d play, something I wish my children would get to experience. I remember my mom baking me my favorite blueberry muffins once a week before we would do a special prayer to Sêlune. I can practically still smell them and feel the warmth radiating from the bread.

The moonlight gleams through the window, so I close the curtains to make it easier for me to fall asleep. Wyll and Karlach are knocked out on the other side of the room, and baby Jenevelle is asleep on the thick quilt next to our bed. Gale, however, is still awake like myself.

“My love? Is everything alright?” Gale whispers, snuggling up to me and burying his face into my shoulder. “I’m surprised you’re still up.”

“Oh I’m wonderful, just thinking about…my childhood. A lot of it was so beautiful, and I’m beginning to remember all that was so kind.” I smile, closing my eyes for a moment as I reminisce. “I miss my mother. Or who I thought she was. Nothing I can do now, I hate to point out.”

“I know, my love. But hey, when we get back to Waterdeep, we can visit with my mother. She misses you and, she even told me, you’re like the daughter she’s always wanted. Believe me, she adores you just like I do. Which, I didn’t think anyone could even come close to my love for you. Plus she would love to see Jenevelle and our newest addition. I plan on writing to her tomorrow to tell her the good news, if you’d like to join me and help come up with some tidbits to add to the letter. From you, of course.” I actually smile as he says those words, which bring me a strange sense of comfort and ease to my mind. Even though it’s dark and I can’t see his face, I look in his direction and plant a kiss on his head somewhere. “Ope… You just kissed my eyeball.” I try to fight laughter and move my lips lower toward his nose.

“Well, that certainly sounds like a plan to me, my honey. I could use her company in times like these. We have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?” He chuckles and plays with my hair gently with his fingers, calming me down even more as chills scatter across my body from the relaxing sensation.

“Yes. Now my love, you need your rest. It’s best you get some sleep, for who knows what endeavors we will face tomorrow. Or, rather, who knows how drained you will feel? I’m hoping these next few months will at least be semi-normal.” His hand moves from my torso down to my waist, and then gently making its way to my belly. “I love you. So very much.”

Before I know it, the months fly by and each day gets closer to the birth of our second daughter — yep, another girl. I actually begin to feel excitement, love, and a sense of relief. My pregnancy is now drastically slowing down because of our new baby being immortal, and judging by the look of everything, Karlach and I will deliver around the same time. Speaking of my favorite tiefling, she hasn’t been doing too great the past few weeks; between body aches and unable to keep food down, she’s ready for the pregnancy to end already. I comfort her as much as I can while internally thinking ‘What a great time to be immortal and not experience that again.’ Jaheira has been over more frequently to provide comfort and care to her, and because of the herbal teas she made, Karlach is slowly feeling a little better, one day at a time.

Today, Gale and Wyll are out shopping for the babies, including Jenevelle because she deserves to be spoiled, while Karlach and I are relaxing at the spa with Jaheira. Gale brought our daughter of course, because he absolutely loves taking her shopping. It’s honestly the cutest thing. Our friends found out they are having a little boy, and his name will be Maddox Ravengard.

“It’s only a matter of time,” Jaheira says with a smirk as she sinks into the hot spring. Karlach and I only have our feet in, but we are getting a massage by two sweet elf ladies as we soak our feet. “I can’t wait to be a grandma figure to more babies. Baby Jenevelle already has my heart, I can’t wait to meet these two.”

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear that, Jaheira. With my mom gone and Wyll’s also, both of them passed away, this child wouldn’t have a grandmother. I am so glad he will have a grandmother around, biological or not,” Karlach explains, smiling with a tear in her eye. “Who is chopping up onions in here?” I’m smiling at Karlach as she wipes a glistening tear from her eye, but one that screams happiness. I adjust myself as I try to get comfortable, but my baby bump is in the way.

“Ugh girl, that makes two of us,” Karlach adds as she observes my discomfort, trying to stand up so we can head back to the Tavern. Droplets of noticeable sweat pour down her face as she tries to move.

“Whoa whoa, Karlach. We should go so you can lie down and get some well-needed rest,” I comment. “I’m so glad the Tavern is just a block down the road.” Something tells me she won’t make it another two days before their little one makes his arrival, and a strange sensation courses through my veins as I observe her worried expression.

“Yeah…yeah let’s go. I hope Wyll beats us there. Please Gods, let him be there when we get inside.”

Unfortunately, he did not. When we arrive, Karlach appears to be in a much worse condition, her fiery red skin glossy from the increasing amount of sweat washing over her body. Worry and panic takes over me as I try to figure out what to do and how to help her. Damn it, it just had to be while Wyll is gone!

“Karlach, breathe. Lie down now. I will get you an ice-cold water, and Emmy will stay by your side. Oh gods, where is Wyll?!” Karlach’s body is weak as she lies in bed, her eyes squenching shut as she tries not to scream from the pain. Jaheira bolts back to Karlach’s side with water and casts ‘healing word’ to at least help a little with the pain. I squeeze her hand as I sit here by her side, and she flashes a smile at me through it all. Before I can even speak a word to her, the door opens and here comes Wyll and Gale, though neither of them did not expect to see Karlach on the edge of giving birth at this very moment.

“W-Wyll!” Karlach shouts, and he immediately dashes to her rescue and sits by her side. “Thank the Gods you’re here…”

“Oh my… I did not expect to come back and see this. I’ve got you, my lovely. Emmy and Jaheira, thank you for being here for her and giving her comfort. I can take it from here.” Wyll kisses the side of Karlach’s head and smiles, brushing her hair out of her sweaty and exhausted face.

Not long after that, Maddox Ravengard was born, and he is the very light of their life and as perfect as can be. Gale and I leave the Tavern for awhile with our daughter so they can get some bonding time in without any sort of overstimulation or risk of it. Jaheira is cooking them a fresh home cooked meal while they relax comfortably, and I don’t want to intrude in any way. We decide to sit outside at a nearby restaurant and enjoy a delicious meal while staring at the beach in admiration. Hm, maybe I should bring Jenevelle to the beach again when this is all said and done.

“Truly remarkable,” Gale murmurs as his honeyed eyes glisten from the sun while he looks at me. “The way life works, that is. How Karlach got her dream, how you and I are expecting another despite the odds, how we all thought five years ago that we wouldn’t survive the nautiloid or the tadpoles…” Gale stares down at his glass of wine, smirking as he sits here in thought. His eyes meet mine once more. “And I have you.” His words are like velvet; so soft and smooth. I could listen to his calming words every second of the day and never get tired of them. The way his shoulder-length brown hair flows from the breeze, his dark honey eyes focusing on me amorously when I speak, the way he fucking smiles.

“I can’t imagine life any other way, Gale Dekarios.” I hold our sleepy girl against my chest, feeling the movement of our second daughter kicking. It’s going to be a very tough road ahead, but we will conquer it like we always do. As I sit here and take a bite of my breadstick, I see a familiar face just around the corner of the restaurant: Jasik. He appears to be here with his family. His eyes meet ours and he happily trots in our direction.

“Fancy seeing you two here! Are you ready to meet your little one next tenday?”

“Wait, next tenday? Already?” I inquire with a hint of shock in my voice, not realizing time had flown by that quickly. We still need to get her crib set up in Jenevelle’s room when we get back home; there’s so much we still haven’t done. “Yep, I am more ready than I’ve ever been. Karlach just had her little boy at the Tavern, and he showed up a lot quicker than we imagined he would.”

“Bummer! I mean, good for her and I am so very happy, but bummed I didn’t get to help! As long as she’s alive and well, that’s what matters. Well, I will see you both next tenday, my friends. Enjoy your dinner.” Off he goes to sit down a few tables away from us to enjoy dinner with his teenage son and wife. I sigh and relax my shoulders, smiling as Gale and I enjoy each other’s company. I hear Jenevelle coo sweetly as I begin to burp her a little, and she grabs my face with her little hand.

“Jenevelle, I hope you’re ready for a sibling,” I murmur to her as I kiss the side of her head. “I’m scared to death but it will be fine.” Gale chuckles.

“Here, let me hold the baby while you eat your dinner. You’re practically drooling at the sight of your spaghetti,” he teases and reaches out for our daughter, so I hand her to him without hesitating for a second. I begin devouring my spaghetti like nobody’s business, and while I’m doing so, Gale just admires me as I make a mess out of myself with sauce. Bright red sauce that made its way all over my face and partially my shirt. No laughter, no judgment, just Gale’s sweet brown eyes locked on me out of love.

“You’re just so cute,” he murmurs, rocking our daughter in his arms as he watches me. “I didn’t realize your devotion and love for spaghetti. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I haven’t had it since I was a kid! This brings back memories,” I respond with a kind voice, enthusiasm coursing through me while I eat. “I feel silly.”

“You are silly and that’s why I love you so much.” He calls me silly, but then our daughter releases a loud sound from her butt I didn’t think was even possible. “Oh look, another trait you got from your mother.” It takes everything in my power not to bust out laughing, but unfortunately, I failed and nearly choke on my dinner. Then, her tummy begins to rumble and she grunts, releasing a disastrous sound. “Jenevelle, filling up your diaper at the dinner table isn’t exactly good manners, you know.” Gale chuckles, then sighs as he gently bounces her in his arms.

“You can’t say I do that at the dinner table, just saying,” I comment playfully as I push my plate away from me. Gale rolls his eyes as he stands up with the baby in his arm, but he knows he loves my silly humor.

“You are definitely one of a kind, and for that alone, I’m thankful for you. Shall we depart? Little missy over here needs changed, and it’s best we get back to the Tavern as quickly as possible.” I nod with a goofy grin on my face, and grab the diaper bag as he begin to walk back to Elfsong. As we’re leaving the restaurant, I see an image of my mother and Gortash headed this direction, though I’m certain they don’t see me.

“Shit!” I take Gale’s hand and pull him aside behind a tree nearby. “My mother and Gortash. I don’t want them to see me.”

“My love, we need to get back. Jenevelle needs—“

I begin to hear my mother talking for a moment, and now I’m slightly invested in the conversation, though it’s clear we can’t sit here too long.

“When Emmy was a little girl, I used to take her here all the time. She loved it. She really liked the…” Her voice fades away as they both make their way to the entrance of the restaurant, and I suddenly feel a wave of sadness. She’s discussing my childhood with him and what I loved. Stings a little, but it’s sweet. For the first time in a very long time, I feel my eyes swell from the tears I try to fight, but they come anyway. Damn it, why? Each second of every day, I’m tempted to hear them both out and forgive all the horrors and evil he committed…until I realize what he did.

“Love? Are you crying?” I try to hide my face but Gale takes a step in front of me to look into my glossy eyes. “I wish I had all the answers and to help you feel better in any way I can. Are you thinking about your childhood?”

“Yes. Just hearing her talk so kindly about me and the memories we shared that Gortash was never there for. Well, because she kept him from me, but for a good reason. Still.” I sigh as I wipe the tears from my eyes, then take a deep breath. “Maybe one day I’ll have it in me to talk to her again, and face him. For now, I just need a moment.” Gale plants a delicate kiss on my forehead and his soft touch lingers for a moment as he does so. I take a deep breath as the tears begin to dry up, my body relaxing at last.

“You deserve answers, love. I wish I could make it all better but I’m not sure what I can do. But if there is anything at all I can do to bring you comfort and security, just say the word. I’m all ears.” I hesitate for a moment as I stare blankly at the sunset, but then my face lightens up at the idea of just being with one another in bed. I can worry about approaching my mother again at a later time.

“Could you…lay with me, when we get back to Elfsong? Please? I think just lying there will help, as long as I’m in your arms.” He smiles and nods, holding our baby securely against his chest. I smile back at him as I close my eyes in relief.

“After Jenevelle is changed, I’d be happy to lie down with you. Your body curled up in my arms, your head against my chest as I hold you sincerely and play with your hair, and my lips kissing the top of your head as you get comfortable. I wouldn’t love anything more. I love you, pretty baby, and don’t you ever forget that.”

[jgriffinwrites]

So, Who am I?

If you made it to this page, thank you; your support is appreciated.

I think it’s about time I introduce myself to you all. I am Jordyn Griffin, author of ‘Least Expected’ a Hockey Romance/Thriller novel. Now, Jordyn Griffin is not actually my real name, but it is a nod to those who have impacted my life for the better and it was a way to acknowledge them.

Let’s break the name down:

Jordyn is the name of my niece (just spelled differently)- her timing coming into this world was solely based on how stubborn she is and how she will continue life playing by her own rules; something that I can appreciate and love.

Griffin, is my mothers maiden name and the name that represents two amazing people who are not with us anymore. My grandparents loved with all their hearts, helped so many people and supported my brother and I during the time we were given with them. They never once doubted

our goals and dreams, instead they were our first set of cheerleaders, pushing us to do our best.

So, Who am I?

The magic question for those who do not know me. I am a California born and raised girl who grew up on a small cattle ranch tucked away into the foothills of California. I spent countless weekends horseback and many days working hands on with livestock. The western lifestyle allowed me to grow my skills, provide me with many experiences as well as teaching me about hard work and earning my way.

Once I graduated my tiny high school, I made the jump to a California State University which provided me with so many more opportunities to chase my dreams and goals. I had started college as a Communications and Journalism Major- my passion for writing and reporting fueled me to pursue a career where I could be creative and allow me to shine. Within the first two years, I had changed my major to Education after finding a love for working with students. Education is where I have stayed for the last 7 years- I was able to help so many students find their calling in life.

It was during this last year of teaching that I realized that I had put some of my dreams and goals on the back burner-and sadly teaching had burnt me out. I had turned to writing to bring me back to the girl I once was- I would write for hours, edit and even delete everything and start over; it was then that ‘Least Expected’ had been born.

So, why Hockey?

Great question, I found a love in the sport of Hockey only recently (as I was never into watching sports growing up and we didn’t have any hockey programs around our town). Hockey allowed for me to focus on something other than real life and work. When I had a hard time shutting off my brain, I turned to Hockey and quickly fell in love with the sport. In a way, Hockey helped me find my footing and brought the old me back to the forefront.

Least Expected

This story actually had no set destination when I started to write. As mentioned, I would come home and just let my brain and fingers work along the keyboard. I had deleted the first 15 chapters and started over until I felt the story was on the path it was meant for. I never knew where the chapters would take me or what the characters would do next; this book challenged me, it forced me to get out of my comfort zone and to drop my guard. It allowed for me to put in personal touches and secret meanings that only close family or friends would know; this story became my child.

I feel that I am a lot like the main character Chloe; her background is nothing like mine, but she was forced to grow up fast, she had to fight for herself and she had to find her strength again after losing it. Her character was a way for me to work out my life and find who I was and to find my strength to do what I want and do something I love. I had lost the spark, the drive and the motivation that I once had.

Each character is the way they are for a reason- a reason that speaks to me and reflects back on my life and where I was when I made them.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your endless support, love and devotion to helping me chase this dream. 

Until next time,

JG

[hikennosabo]

trimax volume 6 random thoughts

chapter 1:

oh, hey, it's the guy from the 98 anime!..... or not?!

i'm not keeping track of this TOO closely, so there may be other instances of this that i missed, but the guy from 98 episode 1 also showed up in trimax chapter 7. it makes me wonder if nightow provided character designs/ideas to the 98 team, or if it's the other way around and he decided to incorporate anime-original characters into the manga. either way: neat!

HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE MERYL, BY THE WAY.

i love the bits of characterization we've been getting for her. she (and milly) are our tie to humanity, after all

i must say it is nice to have a goofy fight after... all that in volume 5. and before... the rest of volume 6.

chapter 2:

aaaand now we start the next chapter with wolfwood's nightmare/flashback! hurts just a little bit! (the trio IS kinda serving tho ngl... when you have a fashion show at 7 but need to terrorize the orphanage at 6)

^ completely and 100% unironically, they were in love here.

i just... ugh. this is such a vashwood chapter. the absolute trust and fighting together completely seamlessly, they are just. ugh. ughhhhh. this kind of trust just GETS to me.... sorry. i'm normal about them. i'm NORMALLLLLLaauughghghgh

ANYWAY. chekhov's table made me laugh

i am physically restraining myself from going crazy over vw again as i reread this chapter to write this post.

anyway anyway. ww calling himself "nicholas" is cute :)

just kidding one more vw comment as a treat

HE'S SO IN LOVE. FUUUUUCK.

chapter 3:

legato continues to be fascinating to me. i'm observing him like a bug in a jar. which is appropriate, considering...

WHEN I CALLED HIM A BAGWORM IN THAT ONE POST I WAS JOKINGGGGG I WAS JOKING!!! THIS MADE ME LAUGH FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES STRAIGHT WHY DID SHE HANG HIM FROM THE CEILINGGGG IT'S SO FUNNY

this is actually making me fucking cry.

...i got so distracted laughing at bagworm legato that i almost forgot to say literally anything else about the chapter, but anything else i have to say mostly boils down to "wow, legato is such a freak (affectionate)"

also, whenever something that was in tristamp is brought up i feel like the leonardo dicaprio pointing meme. like "oh hey, i know this!" going into this manga with prior knowledge from stampede is... an interesting experience. all that being said, i can't WAIT to see more of the manga version of double fang. oh nightow we're really in it now

chapter 4:

oh, finally, FINALLY!!! last volume i asked where the knives nuance was and now we're FINALLY getting some knuance, thank god. seeing knives react to just how badly humans treat plants is SO effective. and we're not even up to the juicy part yet. it makes me want to eat glass.

speaking of eating glass.

i thought something like this might've been the case, but still... this hurts to read.

i want to eat glass!!!! fuck!!! this reveal is so insane, it's like monkey's paw of "this is a way knives can be defeated, but by the same method, vash is closer to death than knives is." WE don't want vash to die, and neither does knives, and this chapter is the first (and possibly the only, idk) time the reader's feelings and knives's feelings are... well, aligned. at least in a sense.

chapter 5:

this chapter is really something, because it starts off almost seeming like another lighthearted "we're in a random town fighting a goofy enemy of the month" romp much like the early chapters were, heck like chapter 1 of this very volume. but it's just wearing the skin of that. which is, y'know. the thesis of this entire chapter. smiling to hide the pain and all that.

i don't think i can really... articulate anything of substance. the chapter just kind of... speaks for itself, i think.

although i DID laugh at ww trying to enjoy his noodles and failing, and also the phrase "needle-noggin-isms." thanks for providing some levity, we actually really do need it.

chapter 6:

ohhh boy we are REALLY in it now!!

i enjoy seeing knives ponder like this. legs crossed, arm slung over his face... i don't know. maybe it's because i myself sometimes lounge in this pose.

what exactly is he thinking about, i wonder. that in awakening/forcing vash to use his powers, he unintentionally pushed him closer to death? maybe? i don't know. either way it's very on-the-nose for what their relationship has been like.

and then of course we cut to this shot of vash, looking in a mirror created by knives's slice

this shot is making me think a lot and i'm reading too much into it, but- obviously the reflection puts vash's beauty mark on the opposite side, so there's the knives resemblance, so also, i suppose vash must see knives every time he looks in the mirror, right? also vash looking at his reflection featuring his own black hair- which we're all still thinking about... i dont know. i dont even know if this is anything LOL. i feel like i have the dots but i'm failing to articulate the connection. anyway

this made me laugh. thanks for the levity again, wolfwood :)

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA NEED ALL THE COMIC RELIEF WE CAN GET, BABY!!!

maybe i'm just insane for this because it's Generic Party Imagery but the specific combination of rem flashback + party popper + funny glasses makes me think of the similar scene in 98 when the seeds crew celebrates finding planet gunsmoke. like is this another instance of nightow nabbing stuff from 98 or am i just making things up.

the twins are so cute and baby knives smiles so much, i want to microwave myself.

knives wants to believe in humanity. man. MAN!!!!!

what comes next... i'm absolutely carrying my prior stampede knowledge into this, but fuck, man. fuck. even then, i know that stampede didn't show everything, so i don't even fully know what to expect. which is fun! but i can't believe the volume ends right in the middle of the flashback, MAN!!!

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 6: A Complication

So, Lash and Nils agree on everything, right? Right????

Except when Nils is being a complete dumbass and doesn't realize it.

This is the chapter where we start seeing actual existing 2017 classism, racism, and even just disparate treatment come into play.

Nils' perspective and beta-reading provided by @baelpenrose. Additional beta-reading by @writing-with-olive and @fandomized-insanity. Perspective from people of the global majority (read: non-white) provided by entirely too many people to name, but definitely look up 'decolonization' if you are curious.

Sometimes love is all that can save us

Sometimes love can kill a man

Yeah, sometimes love is a soft touch

Or a pistol in your hand

American Young, “Love Is War”

Lash

It had been a couple weeks since I last met with Nils in person.  A nice chunk of money had been deposited in my account from something that looked reasonably authentic and was completely unrelated to Brayden in any way shape or form.  Not the entire five grand, I noticed.  Figured that he realized I was adding punitive damages and took his own cut.  I could live with two fifty being taken if it got back my four grand and then some.

At the moment, I was sitting in my favorite spot on the bridge, thinking through my next commissions.  Anime girls were doing me pretty solid at the moment, but eventually I’d have to tackle all the lean brunettes that were waiting in email-hell.  The charity work was drying up a bit after Brayden screwed me over, so I needed to get all that sorted out, too…

My quiet moment was interrupted by a phone alert fed through my headphones.  Then another.  Gritting my teeth, I pulled out the offending device and braced myself to see messages from my parents about some vastly unimportant emergency.  Instead, it was an unknown number messaging me. “Sorry. I didn’t want to startle you and make you fall.”

“It’s Nils, btw.  Left side.”

I whipped my head around to see him standing on the embankment to my left, waving at me with his phone. I gestured for him to come closer so we could talk without shouting over the river.  To my surprise, he came out onto the pylon and sat next to me without a trace of awkwardness.

“New phone?”

Nils blinked. “Right, no. Uh. Work phone. At a guess you know the drill.” He tilted his head at my phone and made a vague gesture. “By the way, you could have told me you wanted punitive damages instead of overstating what he took. I’d have understood.” 

I shrugged. “Seemed pretty obvious. I mean, you figured it out and took your cut, looks like.” With my free hand, I waved at his leather ensemble. “Not like you need the money, clearly, Darth Lord Pizza Cutter.”

He made a coughing sound. “Dark Lord Pizza Cutter, or Darth Pizza Cutter, pick a metaphor. That’s great though, I’ll have to remember that one. And no, I don’t. I do this more for fun, the cut I took went to a charity I’m fond of.” 

“Funding leather pants for dramatic bitches in second-world countries,” I nodded in mock-wisdom. “I see.”

“Medical debt relief, actually.” He looked like he was stopping himself from the reflexive correction about what a second-world country was after he realized I was saying it to fuck with him.

“That’s actually admirable,” I confessed, giving up the bit. “I don’t know how much two-fifty is going to do for it, but judging by what a busy bee you seem to be online, you’re probably nickel and diming them with donations at a solid pace.”  After a pause, I nodded. “Yeah, I can see it.  So what brings you to my bridge, Billy Goat Gruff?”

He shrugged. “Two fifty looks like nothing unless you know where to send it, but there’s a charity who buys up medical debt for pennies on the dollar. Anywhere from 80 to 100:1 ratios, then forgives it. Financial expert. Information is the best way to make an impact, knowing who to go to for the best effect, and network them all together.” 

“Rolling Jubilee. I like it.”

“Sorry, though, you had an actual question. Uh. I wanted to talk to you again. You left me with a good question last time. How to make the world better. You’d want to eliminate poverty, but you’d also want to eliminate power structures that make it possible to consolidate power, and therefore money and monopolized resources, into one place, to prevent that cycle from starting over again. You’d need to start with fair access to food and housing, education. The same principle would keep people from just poisoning the world and getting away with it. I think you’d have to start by something to level the playing field for a revolution, maybe power grid or bank comms, not sure exactly how to do that, but thinking about it. Still workshopping it. What’s your idea of the ideal world, Lash?” 

I hummed a bit, wobbling my head side to side and kicking my feet a couple times. “Prove it can be done without money. Barter economy, punishment for hoarding more than you need. Homelessness has to go, for sure - there are so many vampire and zombie properties, even commercial ones, that could be used better just keeping people housed. Take over an empty strip mall, start there.  Comms are easier than we think, we’re just really spoiled with speed and access - did you know there are already communities in this country who built their own local wireless networks from the ground up and just include the maintenance in local taxes?  We could do that, teach everyone how to maintain it so they are part of their own community.  That’s a start.  Then educate people - mandatory education.  That would be the hard part.  Not just math or grammar, but teaching ideas and critical thinking.”  I chewed on my lip for a moment. “Critical thinking is definitely being outlawed, it feels.”

            Nils wavered a hand. “In not-expensive schools, yeah. Which are increasingly being restricted on purpose. Mandatory equal education, especially. Right now there’s a real effort to make a two-tier system. One of defunded, shit-tier schools for poor kids and kids of color to turn them into obedient little drones, and one for rich white kids like yours truly to turn them into future statesmen, CEOs, generals, doctors, lawyers. No real respect for where we’re gonna get all the stuff in the middle that society collapses without, ironically, but then the people who design capitalism never seem to think long term. Your thought is probably the right one, but you’d need to ensure that it isn’t based in purely local resources, or if you did, ensure that those resources were distributed more equitably before the localized systems started.” 

“As one of said brown children, can confirm,” I sighed. “My parents worked like hell to get me into a ‘good’ school, and trust me, it isn’t much better. Critical thinking in terms of thinking critically of people who are different. At least when I went to a ‘shit-tier’ school, you learned that almost everyone is one paycheck or generation from being poor, and everyone’s brown when you’re dirty.” I winced at how bitter I sounded.  “Sorry.  It’s a sore spot. So, add first aid to basic medical training as part of education.  No offense, but fuck CEOs and statesmen.  If we never had another one in the history of the world, or had never had one to begin with, I think we would be in a better place.”

“You and I find ourselves entirely in agreement.” There was a smile on his face like he was laughing at a private joke. “I do think people should also learn basic cooking, basic home repair. As part of education.” He glanced over the city. “It’s nice, being able to talk to a friend like this.” 

“Oh, so we’re friends now?” I clutched a hand to my chest in pretend astonishment. “Sir, you move far too quickly.”

Nils gave a little smile. “Oh, apologies for being so forward, my dear,” his affect abruptly matched my own. “But I so rarely find conversation so stimulating, and if you do I would ask you to tell me where on earth you spend your time.” 

I laughed at how ridiculous he was being. It was charming, but in a way that showed he clearly wasn’t being too serious about it. “Online, mostly. Physically, I’m here or at home, or at this awful coffee shop about six blocks that way…” I gestured in the direction toward where we had met last time. “Beyond that? Trying desperately not to cook, since you said something about reinstituting mandatory Home Ec.  My cooking would kill you.”

“Because I’m white and you’re…okay forgive me, is your family Indian or Pakistani?”

“Because my cooking is just that bad. Seriously. I am the bane of every well meaning mother and auntie in the world. They collectively meet and despair of how horrible a wife I will be one day.” After a deep breath, I gave in. “And I’m both. Baba is Goan - that’s Indian - Mama is Pakistani.  Dishonor on their houses, their cows, all that.”

“Doesn’t that depend on whether you get married and have kids? Like in general.”  Then he cycled back. “Also, apologies if it was a rude question. If I ever met your family I wanted to look up stuff and be respectful.” 

I snorted. “That’s because you are white. Daughters of immigrants are expected to marry and have children. We are either terrible wives because we did and were horrible at it, or terrible wives because we couldn’t even get a husband. And god willing, you will never meet my family. Not because of you, because I am such a disgrace and you will either be expected to marry me and save me from myself or be considered a disgrace by proxy.  If you ever run into me when I am with them, I hope you are very good at telling people you are gay.”

“Half time, friend. Half-time gay already. Also, everyone already thinks I’m a disgrace. No need to use it to make your life worse.” He seemed willing to change the subject.  “Oh, I promised to tell you about my project. Did a bit of homework you assigned me. So, you know those QAnon assholes who kicked the shit out of me the first day we met?”

“The brother-uncle-cousins with more muscles than brains and signs?”

“Yes, the ones that think the world is ruled by Jewish space lizards, those charmers. The ones who think you immigrants are coming to literally fuck white people out of existence and bring all of us backwards evolution-wise on orders of a blood drinking Jewish cabal. Those people. Anyway. I’ve been taking advantage of a very specific flaw of conspiracist thinking, which is the desperate need to think you understand the next mystery. Tell them it’s even bigger than they think even more complicated than they thought, and wrap that into what they already thought - there’s not ONE complicated evil cabal that rules the world, there’s like FOUR, and they all fight each other, all our politics is a complicated proxy war between all of these secret shadow governments. Muhahahah. They eat that shit up. Especially if you imply that two of those groups are loosely on the side of the common people and have formed a temporary alliance, and might be looking for recruits among their crowd.”

I blinked while I processed all of the absolute crazy that had just come out of his mouth. “You are… giving them more targets, or fewer?”

“Both. Focusing their insanity in a direction that is actually useful to their fellow human beings for once. If I can’t get them to be less crazy - and unfortunately that seems inoperable given that subculture - I can direct the inevitable stochastic terrorism towards, say, attacking banks and burning debt records. In the name of preventing the evil shadow government from controlling innocent people through debt. Written off as an attack by insane conspiracy theorist, innocent people get relief, it is left untraceable to us. And corporate eats the loss.” 

“And you are stopping them from taking pot shots at the minorities who are theoretically a part of these cabals how, exactly?” I waved a hand to cut him off from answering too quickly. “I get that you are redirecting them, but when you redirect something, you have to also cut it off from its original goal. How are you doing that part?”

“The ones who work for the banks, the cops, or in public office? Nah. Fuck ‘em. But the white people in those offices are fucked too, the way I’m working it. Cutting shit off is…complicated. Multi step. So, right now they’re under the impression that the one group of bad guys they initially believed in rules the government, right? They also believe, or are starting to - that the average activist is a proxy for a different thing entirely, which do not like the bad guys who run the government for one set of reasons. I have them believing that their “hero” Q, is part of a different, third group, who ALSO does not like the bad guys who run the government, who are all rich and powerful people, and that the reason people do not like the guys who run the government tends to vary. The important thing is its a shadow government and most people don’t know anything about it.”

“So, you’re playing three dimensional chess with people who believe whatever they are told that makes them feel important. Got it. And you’ve already set this into motion?”

“Haven’t started implying orders yet. But started just kinda. Movin’ em towards “there’s three groups, stop hate criming people, most people aren’t even part of this.” 

I felt a solid mass form in the pit of my stomach, and my heart sank. “So yes, you’ve already put this into motion, intentionally or not, with no checks or any way to keep the next  idiot on a power trip from turning them another direction.”  I stood up and dusted off my clothes, holding my hand out. “Come on. Time to buy you some actual coffee, because this is going to be a very long conversation.”

Nils winced and stood up. 

“Marry a white boy, she keeps saying,” I muttered. “Trying to save my ass from well meaning white people and she wants me to marry one.  PAH!”

[jolalibrary]

hii! this might be quite personal and I mean no offense but how do you write so much? do you block time out (and how do you write so well?) I need to know!!!

I’m sorry I’ve sat on this one for a few days anon! my personal life has been a shit-show and I always worry if I respond when im under stress my British-wit/snark comes across as bitchiness 😂 because what I want to say is—

poor mental health + shit sleeping routine + a head full of stories

but that sounds flippant, doesn’t it? even if I mean it in jest. so I sat on it to give you and anyone else that will read this, the below insights into me, jo. a person you may follow, someone you may check in on but don’t follow, or someone who makes you seethe from a corner hahahah.

one. I have always created stories in my head. which sounds cliche, but it’s true. i assume there’s some psychological explanation like avoidance because I don’t have the tools to deal with real life or that I prefer the version of myself in my head than irl. but that’s point one. my head is full of them. and for as long as I can remember, on and off, it’s always been there. I didn’t always write, admittedly, but I thought about them. maybe made my dolls reenact them or created the story on the sims.

two. point one leads nicely into point two, but I find life very overwhelming a lot of the time. I cope, I function, but writing helps me so much. so I tend to do it daily. I physically can feel when I haven’t—like there’s too many voices, too many things bursting around inside of me. it’s how I cope with my mood disorder, and I’m happy to say 8/10 it works. (this is partially why I don’t get fazed by numbers, im going to write regardless if I share it, and if I do share it, there’s zero expectation from me anyone will read it. it’s more a gift from my brain to your day, you know?)

three. because of point two (see a theme here) I struggle to sleep. a good day for me is six hours. a bad day is three. somewhere in the middle I tend to cope and function. sometimes, when life is really fucking hard, I’ll have eight hours and you can tell—because I actually do not write. it usually means I’m burnt out, honestly.

four. more pleasant now, less scene setting than before, but I plan out things. before I share a series I’ll bank a handful of chapters in case my muse fucks off on vacation (the wench) and I’ll always write an ending so I can go about writing out of order (because I do not write anything in order, not a chapter, not a series or a one shot). so mainly, I find a routine that works for me. I cannot force myself to write chronologically, so why bother? you know? circles don’t go in square holes and all of that.

five. I’m rigid with my upload dates. yes, for lovely followers this means waiting, and for me this gives structure — which helps massively with points one to three. but it also buys me time. it gives me the chance to sit in my feelings when I share a chapter, and think logically about what I want the next chapter to feel like. I also like having dates associated to characters in my head, because it gives me some focus of when I should share it.

six. I can write on my phone, at a laptop and in a notebook. the phone one helps massively as I can do so anywhere and any place. this has meant long drives provide oneshots you all love, chapters have been written on planes and things that make you all hate me are written in bed, in the dead of the night, while the rest of the world sleeps. but again, I found a system that works for me. writing at night is my best and most productive time, so I had to adapt to be able to do so effectively without making my husband worry about me.

seven. surround yourself with people who don’t judge you for writing copious amounts. I’ve tried to do the fitting in thing, I’ve tried to dilute myself, and I’ve tried to lessen uploading because of comments “friends” have made or asks I’ve gotten. find people who celebrate you even one on one, because that’s when you’re creativity will really bloom.

eight. I mentioned earlier about process, but I have a process that works for me in terms of plotting. I do a few rounds of different things which I call skeleton, muscle and then skin. but my friend ( @thetriumphantpanda hi babe) loves to create mood boards before she begins. we all have processes and it’s finding one that works for you. my process helps me share all the things I do with you.

nine. I tell the story I want to tell. I pour my heart out onto a screen because I want too. and because im pleasing myself first and foremost, it allows me to feel creative. for the only time in my life, I am in control and I get to put myself first.

ten. I love writing about love. I love grand gestures, and small little moments; I love big speeches, and I also love the head turn and a simple, you’re not too bad you’re not. I love it all. and because of that, I fucking love what I do on here.

so, to answer the question what started all of this off, I write so much because I love what I do, because I can, and because i do it for me first with the secondary hope I make one persons day. that’s it. that’s my baseline, one person outside of me. the rest is just a bonus.

so, find the thing you love to write about, and just write it. take your time. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. write ten words a day or a hundred or a thousand. spend days moving a full stop or a comma or weeks thinking an idea over but not making a single note.

however you choose to do it, make sure you have fun. because otherwise, it’s just a job, and we already have to give to much of our days to that as it is.

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Luke Arnold, Doc Wyatt talk the teamwork and insanity that defines ‘ESSENTIALS’

The compelling new OGN is funding via Kickstarter.

by Chris Coplan (April 18, 2024)

You may know Luke Arnold as Long John Silver in the Black Sails and/or INXS’ own Michael Hutchence in the Never Tear Us Apart miniseries. Doc Wyatt, meanwhile, is best known for his production work on the iconic Napoleon Dynamite and the animated Rocket and Groot for Marvel. So, what happens when a lauded actor and a TV writer/producer get together? Why a brand-new graphic novel, ESSENTIALS.

For ESSENTIALS, Arnold and Wyatt were brought together in part by The Lab Press, a new publishing outfit that focuses primarily on graphic novels. Together, the pair then collaborated with a veritable smorgasbord of comics artists, including Bill Sienkiewicz (who does the cover), Dani, Jason Howard, Andrea Mutti, and Glenn Fabry. (The book’s colors were provided by Jordie Bellaire, Brad Simpson, and Wesley Wong, with lettering from DC Hopkins of AndWorld Design).

Once fully assembled, this superstar team behind ESSENTIALS set about crafting a story in which “the world you see around you is not real.” More specifically, we follow “disgraced mathematician Harris Pax” as he and Buttons (an “interdimensional being possessing his niece’s favorite toy”) set about smashing the walls of this faux reality. ESSENTIALS asks some big questions — “What matters most in a well-lived life? Is joy more valuable than truth?” — just as much as it’s a rollicking, dimension-hopping adventure story.

ESSENTIALS is currently crowdfunding via Kickstarter, with the campaign having raised $13,000-plus (of a seemingly $1,111 goal) on the way to its May 16 deadline. (Head here to contribute.) To get a better idea of the work that went into ESSENTIALS, we recently got to field questions to both Arnold and Wyatt. The duo spoke about the somewhat involved creative process, the big themes at the book’s heart, working with The Lab Press, and much more.

The talent behind ESSENTIALS. Courtesy of The Lab Press.

AIPT: I’m curious: what’s the collaborative process look like between a TV writer and an actor making a comic book?

Luke Arnold: It’s hard to summarize this process because there are so many stages. We broke most of the story on zoom between Australia and LA. Then, we outlined in pieces, trading them back and forth multiple times, rewriting and recrafting until we were happy. After that, we’d take a chapter each, write them, share them, editing and/or rewriting each other’s work. Then, it would go to the artists, and we’d wait for the first sketches to roll in.

Because the team (Doc, myself, and everyone at The Lab) is spread around the globe, we found that the best place to review artwork was actually in VR. We all got Oculus headsets that allowed us to sit around a table together with the art displayed on a huge board in front of us, marveling over the work and deciding on any notes to send back to the artists.

The next few stages would take place over email, and then when all the art was finished, Doc and I would get back on Zoom to take another look at the script. Once you have those final pages, you can quickly realize that a lot of dialogue feels unnecessary, so we’d go through and make changes before sending everything to the letterer. That was one of my favorite stages, as you have an opportunity to write some parts all over again, inspired by the work of the artists.

Doc Wyatt: Luke’s an actor, but he’s also a novelist. His novels blow me away. I knew Luke first as an actor, and on set, he was talking about these fantasy novels that he wanted to write. But when it actually happened, I was blown away. The Last Smile in Sunder City was Luke’s first book, and it kicked off a series that’s a mashup of the noir detective genre with urban fantasy. Anyone who’s missed it should catch up with it.

As a writer, Luke is intricate. He works in levels and layers, meanings behind meanings, and philosophical underpinnings. It was a really rich and rewarding experience because we’d start out talking about the story we were breaking, but the conversation would drift into all these other, unrelated places… until suddenly it would snap back into story mode, but bringing along all these influences from our seemingly unrelated conversations.

AIPT: What’s the elevator pitch for ESSENTIALS? It seems like there are a lot of big questions churning at the heart of this book.

LA: Our world has collided with another dimension and reality has become untethered. Most humans were killed in the collision, and those that survived are now trapped in their own subjective realities as their beliefs, thoughts, and fears become manifest around them. Harris Pax – the only scientist who foresaw this apocalypse and managed to protect himself – has teamed up with Buttons – a being from the other dimension. Together they must travel into these subjective realities and convince the people inside to give up their illusions and return to the real world.

DW: Honestly, it can sound complicated, but at the end of the day the story is pretty simple. A cosmic catastrophe has killed most human life, with the few survivors unknowingly stuck in their own bubbles of subjective reality. It’s the job of our heroes to pull them out of these private realities before they’re killed by them.

AIPT: Similarly, it seems like this book may be about/interested in simulations and subjective reality and the like. Why are those kinds of massive ideas interesting, and how do you come at them from a new angle?

LA: It’s a cliché now to say that we’ve never been so divided. We started writing this four years ago, and things seem to have only gotten worse. In this age of reactionary politics and algorithms, we really are starting to live in separate realities where even basic facts are up for dispute. But this feeling of disconnection was an existential issue long before the internet. Artists and writers have always explored the pain of isolation, our yearning for interconnection, and the despondency that comes from witnessing the perpetual division of the human race on both an intimate and planetary scale. With ESSENTIALS, we found two heroes, a villain, and a reality-spanning quest that allows us to dig into these concerns in a way that feels fresh and kind of limitless. There are already so many realities we’ve had to cast aside and many more we hope to include as the story continues.

The Jason Howard cover to ESSENTIALS. Courtesy of The Lab Press.

AIPT: What’s it like to be the debut release from Lab Press? Does that pressure help or complicate your process as creators and then also promoters of said creation?

LA: I can really only speak to it from a creative standpoint. It has awarded us a kind of freedom that is rare to find. The Lab and ESSENTIALS were formed at the same time, so the publishers had no preconceptions about what this book needed to be. There were no expectations, either from the reader or the company itself, so the book was able to find its form on its own terms. And being their debut, The Lab was likely more open to our wild ideas, such as jumping between so many artists in the way we do.

DW: For me, sure– it’s a little nerve-wracking to be the first book from a new publisher, because they’re going to be doing all their learning on our book. But that said, we believe in them. They’ve certainly taken a risk on our weird, little, indie book, so it’s only fair we take a risk on them!

AIPT: The book has a slew of talented artists attached, including Dani, Andrea Mutti, and Bill Sienkiewicz. What’s it mean to have such a roster of sheer artistic talent, and do you have any standout moments/pages?

LA: Even though this book has been in development for years, from the artists signing on to sending their pencils, their inks and colors, and now holding the final version, I still can’t really comprehend that we were able to work with artists of this caliber.

This is the first comic I’ve written, and so I was still wondering how all our scripts would come out after being interpreted by the artist. There’s a sequence in chapter two with a collage of a conversation that passes through a bunch of scenarios across a double page spread, and when Jason Howard sent us his pencils of that section, I started to believe that this world Doc and I had dreamed up could actually be realized.

I also have to say that I’m a huge Glenn Fabry fan. We gave him some of our weirdest pages, and his beautifully textured detail is everything we hoped for and more.

DW: The Lab Press had us submit a list of dream artists we’d be dying to work with. We did, thinking–well, they’ll never be able to get these… But they did!!! They didn’t tell me that they’d gotten Bill Sienkiewicz for a cover, who has been a very important artist to me since childhood. Instead they just revealed to me the fully finished cover at a party at New York Comic Con as a big surprise, and I just about lost it. It’s such an amazing cover. And it’s so Bill while still being so ESSENTIALS!

AIPT: Do you have a fave sci-fi book/film/show/etc. that maybe made its way into this project in some way (intentionally or not)?

LA: Doc is a font of sci-fi knowledge, and our original scripts were stuffed full of amazing references. Eventually, we decided to remove most of them before sending the scripts to artists because we didn’t want to cloud their minds with other visuals before we could see what their imaginations offered up. On quick flip though, you could see references to Alien, The Blob, and Night of the Living Dead, but we’ve done our best to use that imagery as a starting block to build something weirder.

AIPT: Why should anyone support the forthcoming Kickstarter for ESSENTIALS?

LA: Because this book is done and it’s incredible. We’re teaming up with Kickstarter because it’s the best way to get the books out to everyone around the world. We’re not asking for support to get it finished or anything like that. Not long after we launch, the book will be out of the printers and in your hands.

DW: We love our weird little story, and we want to tell more of it in the future, but we’ll only get the chance to do that if people read and love this one. We want to get the word out any way we can, so backers will find and support and read the book. It’s strange, it’s heady, and it’s not for everyone, but the people who it’s for– we hope– will really love it!

Source: AIPT Comics

[timeofjuly]

Currently stalking Ur account for any update* 👁️👁️

Do you have a schedule set up for your ao3 fic or do you write whenever you feel like it? 🤔🤔 and would (MC) meet the other "cousin's" in the future? (and possibly rizz them up as well? Lol)

You made this fanfic stuck in my head so take responsibility lmao 🌝👊

I do not have a schedule and I am in awe of anyone who does haha. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself to pump the chapters out, otherwise I'll lose interest, and I had wisdom teeth surgery on Friday and the recovery has been annoyingly involved so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. I have written like 70% of the next chapter though and I am so excited about it! We get a few new skeletons AND some smut in the latter half!

To tide you over, here's a snippet of chapter 5 underneath the cut:

“So you’re grubbing around in the mud,” Edge says, “like a rodent. That seems apt.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. A rodent? You’ve had some rude clients before, but this takes the cake. Your many years of customer service experience flash through your mind; middle-aged ladies saccharinely asking for your manager, Sunday brunch crowds leaving Bible verses rather than tips, the time you’d broken up a barfight and gotten a bottle to the temple for your troubles. None of that prepared you for being compared to a literal rat by your ex’s new, scary boyfriend.

“Excuse me?” you say, voice coloured in your incredulousness.

He scoffs at you like you actually are a pest cavorting around underneath his house and he’s about to exterminate you. “You heard me, human. Or perhaps I should be glad that you are underneath the house and not inside of it; disgusting reprobates do not belong indoors.”

Yeesh, this guy really does not like you! A disbelieving laugh bubbles up your throat at the sheer audacity. This has to be the fastest strangers-to-enemies transition you’ve ever participated in.

“Dude, I’m here providing a service for you,” you say, “but you don’t get to speak to me like that. Abusive language towards the technicians isn’t tolerated, it’s in the contract the homeowner signed. I can provide you with a copy of the paperwork, but if this continues, I reserve the right to refuse further service.”