#prove me wrong. you can't. bozo

[laulo821]

Learning to fly

Joseph belongs to @centi-pedve. also, look a this.

im number one joseph fan he's my child now i adopted him

[reidrum]

like i would | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,

summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged

wc: 4.5k

_____________

you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.

spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn��t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 

it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.

so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.

apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy. 

spencer doesn’t buy it.

he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’

it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.

the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.

the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.

“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”

“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.

“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.

“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”

emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”

“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.

“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”

“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.

spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?

—

spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.

he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.

“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”

he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”

you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.

he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.

“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.

“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.

spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).

but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.

not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.

so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”

you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”

“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”

pulling away to sit far from him on the couch,  you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”

“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”

“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”

he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”

“what’s what spence, let me go.”

“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.

“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.

“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”

any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.

your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.

the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.

“i heard you, on the jet.”

you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point. 

he heard you?

“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.

the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?

the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.

“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”

his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.

“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.

your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”

the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.

“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”

your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.

“no.”

spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”

“no.” you say again, softer this time.

“should we change that?”

this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.

so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.

he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.

“yes.”

that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.

you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.

he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.

detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“

“please don’t stop.”

he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.

the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.

“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”

spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.

“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.

you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.

“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.

his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”

“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.

he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.

“oh fuck,” you cry.

“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.

you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.

“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”

“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.

the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.

he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.

the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.

his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.

he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.

spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.

“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.

“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.

you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.

he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured. 

it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.

your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.

your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere. 

spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.

you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.

“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”

“but…” you pathetically respond.

“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”

the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.

“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”

you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.

holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.

his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”

you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.

his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.

you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.

if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.

once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.

you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.

the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.

but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.

“spence…harder.”

he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.

“whatever you say, princess.”

and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.

“fuck,” you whine.

“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”

your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.

“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”

you whimper, “spencer,”

“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”

he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.

“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”

spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.

in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.

the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”

still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”

he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”

you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”

“me?” he says incredulously.

you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”

he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”

you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”

“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”

“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”

“just tell him i have a gun.”

“so does he?”

“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.

you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”

[nearly-magic]

i decided to rewrite a part of one of my oumami fanfic chapters because it was LACKING!! but im not gonna update it because i wanna keep the chapters as close to how they were when published, so that my writing skills can be seen improving lol- ANYWAYS heres the small bit of the chapter :3

"Hahahaa! Wooow, what a cool trick that was, Kokichi! Dumbass, heh," Miu joked.

"It's not like you're any better! Here, try doing what I tried to do," Kokichi hands the phone over to Miu. Miu quickly restarts the level, and immediately begins fumbling around.

While Miu was attempting the trick, Kokichi's eyes drifted away from the phone screen. They drifted over to Rantaro, and he couldn't look away. His eyes followed individual strands of his hair over to his piercings. Did he always have those in? Does he not have other ones? Do they not hurt after a while?

Then, his eyes shifted to Rantaro's face. The sun hit his face just right, he was more than just 'pretty'. His eyes were the most charming green he'd ever seen, like shiny polished emeralds with how they sparkled.

His outfit was different from what he wore in the killing game. Well, everyone's was, he didn't know why he highlighted his specifically. He was wearing a plain white T-shirt, which had some kind of brand logo in the corner. He still had his necklace thing however. I wonder if that has any sort of importance to him.

Kaede told a joke, which Kokichi didn't hear, but he watched how Rantaro laughed. His laugh made Kokichi's heart feel like it could soar the skies and touch the clouds, but he was brought back down to Earth when Miu celebrated, excitedly shaking Kokichi.

"Did you see that? I fuckin' did it! I'm a genius! A gorgeous one at that!" Miu yelled, making him cover his ears due to the sheer volume.

"..Huh? Oh! Yeah, awesome! You go girl! Guess ya proved me wrong!" Kokichi faked paying attention because he was focused on something else, something he considered more eye-catching.

"Lemme try now!" He tried to grab Miu's phone, but she pulled away before his fingers could even touch it.

"Wait, dumbass! I'll give you my phone in a second! You're so impatient!" Miu said with a smile. Her phone beeped, indicating it was on low battery.

"Hah! My phone's on five percent! Ah, wait, that means I can't use it either.. Well, I'm a fuckin' winner, cuz I did the trick and you didn't," Miu puts her phone away in her bag and Kokichi complained a little, slumping in his seat.

Everyone had finished their meals already. Miu stands up to go to the bathroom, almost getting tripped by Kokichi. She turns to yell a couple more swear words, then runs off.

Kokichi watches her go away. 'Guess I'll have to talk to these bozos now,'  Kokichi thinks, putting his hands in his pockets. He then unexpectedly feels something in one of them.

He pulls that something out, and discovers it's a piece of wrinkled paper. From before the killing game, presumably.

He unfolded the paper and all it said was 'lol, gay '. He could feel his face get warmer slightly.

He felt called out because of earlier. Not his fault that Rantaro was just that pretty.

What?

He put the paper back in his pocket once he saw Miu coming back. He tried his best to conceal his blushing face, but to no avail. He saw Miu's face turn into a smug one, meaning she thinks she knows what's up.

Before Miu could say anything, Kokichi trips her again, completely throwing Miu off as she starts throwing friendly insults at him again.

[acompassionatemonster]

I seriously think I’m speaking to a three year old because there’s no way you can be older than a toddler with how stupid you are. If you are older, please consider going back to school because you’re not gonna get far in life with your lack of common sense and underdeveloped brain. There is no way you can call me illiterate when you literally started your reply with, ‘not you’re mad’ and ended with ‘stay one that Jujutsu Kaisen season two’. And in your first reply you did get your ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ mixed up - you used ‘your’ when it should’ve been ‘you’re so scared’. Now please tell me if that made any sense. Take your head out of your ass and admit how much of an imbecile you are.

Love don’t worry about if I have a job or not, I know I am and will be fine but it’s you that you should be worried about right now. I don’t think you can get a job with your stupidity and illiteracy - no wonder why you read manga, bro just follows the pictures and ignores all the actual writing. Please do yourself and everyone else a favour and log off of Tumblr and every other social and pick up an actual book.

Oh come on now, don’t be a coward and avoid my question. I’ll stop bothering you when you either answer what media you are planning to consume soon or admit that you putting a Gojo spoiler without any spoiler warning and under a Toji tag was idiotic and insensitive (even though you strongly disagree - I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a new Joker over here- not that you have the IQ to be able to pull that off). I’m sorry that I’m the only honest person in your life to say you are insensitive. I bet you don’t even know what that word means given that your literacy and comprehension skills are very limited. So I’ll help you out a bit (because I doubt you can even spell it) and give you a definition, ‘insensitive’ (an adjective) - showing or feeling no concern for other’s feelings. A synonym would be ‘inconsiderate’. You can’t prove me wrong that those words don’t describe you. It was a big spoiler and I know it because you were probably crying over it and in your post you literally say you’re not ‘reading jjk anymore idc’ - therefore, you had no right in spoiling it for others, get that into your thick head and small fish brain.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a sheep and posting spoilers without warnings because, ‘literally everyone on here isn’t’. Are you that daft? Just because everyone isn’t, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Bro are you saying that if the purge happened and everyone was out wreaking havoc, you’d do the same thing and still say it’s not wrong? Are you a child that doesn’t know right from wrong? Please for the love of God, for your own future and safety, go back to school.

TLDR: stfu and tell me your opinion when you have a present dad x and sorry if this was too much writing for your bozo self to process mwah.

I think I'm speaking to someone who dropped out of school, like literally dropped out of school in the 7th grade. Because if YOU'RE SO SCARED OF SPOILERS WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?? LIKE I FUCKING SAID YOU PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU DONT READ THE NEW CHAPTERS THEN THATS, ON WHO??? ITS ON YOU. and why are you harassing me about my spelling?? Bitch it's fucking Tumblr, I'm not writing a thesis, a research paper or even a fucking essay. If I wanted to write a whole fucking article and then yes I would make sure that my spellings of both 'your' and 'you're were correct. However IM NOT. AND IDGAF. So why tf would I care if I spelt something wrong or mixed a few words up???. You bitches are talentless, jobless, bored and can't fucking read nor write and still live with YOURE parents in their BASEMENT. AND WANNA COME AFTER ME BECAUSE YOU GOT SPOILED. BITCH I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT READ THE CHAPTER AND FOUND OUT GOJO IS DEAD!!!!! BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS SPOILERS E V E R Y W H E R E. DONT COME ONLINE AND YOU WONT GET SPOLUED THEN YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. YOUR mother must have dropped your special ass on the head as a baby, because why are you at YOUR grown ass age GOING ON DIFFERENT PROFILES TO HARASS ME ABOUT A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER. I just fucking know you don't take baths OR EVEN WASH THAT FUCKING FILTHY ASS OF YOURS. it's fucking disgusting that YOUR Neanderthal ass came on here to give me a hard time because you what??? Can't keep up with the chapters when it releases??? Not my problem fucktard. And I'll tag my fucking posts with whatever I want. And I did answer your question, I said and I quote I don't care sweetie. So why don't you go to sleep and roll over on that cockroach infested ass floor mattress you sleep on every night. Roll over and go get caught up to the new chapters. Imagine trying to harass someone because YOU live in a section 8 apartment, with 15 other family members, have roaches and rats crawling all over you while you sleep and mad at me. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I'm just sure YOURE a fucking foster child whose mother and father left your Crack baby ass in foster care. Because there's no way that someone who had a loving, family or SUPPORT SYSTEM IS THIS BOTHERED. AND IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING BRAVE WHY WERE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY??? GET A LIFE YOU SMALL BRAINED, LONELY, PATHETIC, NEANDERTHAL ASS BITCH. I HOPE YOU TOSS AND TURN ON THAT FLOOR MATTRESS YOU SHARE WITH YOU 8 SIBLINGS EVERY NIGHT.

and stop coming on my page, mad ass., stupid ass, MONKEY ASS BITCH.

[centuriantalevevo]

"Mama Knows Best"

Alastor's mama is heeerrreee-

Includes: Vox cameo rip bozo lmao, mentions of murder and cannibalism, minor police brutality mentions, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', Alastor is prolly OOC but fuck you-, Alastor's mom is a badass prove me wrong-- oh wait, YOU CAN'T-, Very much mama's boy energy, she gives 'boy mom' energy in a way, but she's just a very affectionate and loving mama, she's not one of those "No one knows him like his mommy does" type mom's lol-, slight Men Slander(TM) but to be fair, men were on some sort of drugs back in the day ok?-, mentions of child abuse, persona cameo because fuck you, feel free to imagine Halo as you tho, I tried to do a little bit of quick research on Jambalaya, plz tell me if I got something wrong-, tate mentioned, alpha male dudes mentioned lmao, the grief of a parent losing their child is always the strongest grief

Nora's name is totally not inspired by Nora from the first season of American Horror Story from the 1920s, why would you think that? That's just stupid, you're crazy and no one will ever believe you!

The day seemed normal-- well... As normal as a day in Hell can be.

He was being trailed by Halo once again when he went for his daily stroll-- of course until they decided to run ahead and cross the road without looking, almost getting hit like a complete idiot... Had it not been for him, they'd be dead... AGAIN, at least. He wonders why he even stopped the car in the first place, but oh well!

He entered the hotel--

Oh! You're probably wondering who I'm talking about- Alastor! Yes, Alastor... The Radio Demon.... chronic technology hater, THAT Alastor.

Anyways!

He entered the hotel, hearing some chatter coming from the next room, as well as Halo being obnoxious as always.

"Wait who are you?" They asked, "Halo! That's rude..." Vaggie scolded them, "What?? I don't know who she is..." They argued, and he heard a soft laugh.

"Oh, it's alright, you're just curious after all." The voice said-- he felt like he'd heard that voice before... But where?

"Oh, since Halo's here that means Alastor should be here soon-- Halo, where is he?" Charlie asked, "just behind me! OI ASSHOLE GET YO DUMBASS IN HERE" They yelled while going to the doorway and hopping up and down.

"I'm right here, no need to yell." He responded, "dude you're 10 times taller than me, you're supposed to be faster." They crossed their arms, "Alright we got strawberry pimp in the room now! Why is needed? Why not need me instead? I'm better I prommy!" Halo turns a 180 immediately, they were too hyperactive today.

"Oh, do I have a guest? To what do I owe-" Alastor went silent, hell it looked like he almost lost his neverending smile... "Wha-.." He trailed off, Alastor...? Flabbergasted? Now that's a first!

"Al!" The lady said with relief and got up, "Oh you know him? Like... wait define knowing him-" Halo questions with their tail idly swaying. "Mama?" "MAMA?!"

It was like simultaneously combusting, EVERYONE said it at the same time.

Though the group gave a chance for this little reunion, they were about to ask a FLOOD of questions. "You should be in heaven?! What are you doing down here? You don't deserve to be down here!" Alastor exclaimed, holding the lady he just called mom.

"You'd be surprised at what I'm capable of, dear... I'm by no means a damsel in distress." She said simply, sitting back down but this time with Alastor next to her. "I never did give you my name, did I? I'm so sorry, how rude of me! I'm Nora!" She said sweetly.

"No way this sweet lady is in Hell, what did you do? Oh my god did you torture children?! Eat them like Hansel and gretel?!" Halo asked excitedly and Nora laughed. "What could have possibly done?! All things considered, you're supposed to be in heaven!" Alastor said, he almost sounded... Upset?

"Well... After you died, I waited for hours for you to come home... It came time you said you'd see me... Nothing.. I gave it 30 minutes thinking maybe you were running late! Then it his 10... 11... I waited til dawn..." Nora said softly, "I eventually tried to sleep on the couch so I could hear when he came home.. I barely slept, though. I maybe got a few minutes of shut eye... His dinner was cold, but I kept it on the table in hopes that I'd wake up and see the plate all cleaned up..." She continued.

"And then later in the morning, Police came to tell me he was killed.... I lost it... I stayed shut away for a few days, dealing with grief... The grief got to me and turned into rage." Alastor stayed absolutely silent- the most silent he'd ever been, you couldn't even hear static.

"I decided it was worth my life. I'd taken a pistol we had at home and found the man's house-- I knew who it was, he was there at Alastor's funeral, he was cackling to himself... so I broke in and shot him in the head." She said so calmly, it even scared Alastor of all people.

"And then I went after his friend. The man who decided to do a 'double tap' to make sure he was gone, except I didn't give him grace. I used my hat pin, honestly the young women who came up with using as a weapon in the day were geniuses of their time!" She continued with a soft smile, "I slit his throat and stabbed, I kept stabbing until all you could see were holes in his chest. Police shot me dead almost immediately." She said, "But I don't regret it... If you asked me... I'd do it all over again. I still blame myself, however." She said with a sigh.

"What?! No, that wasn't your fault! It was my choice to even do that, had I not have, I would've been alive!" Alastor cut her off, "But I could've asked you to come visit me now instead of later. I could've delayed you, even 5 minutes would've changed so much..! Alastor would answer to my every beck and call, if I asked him to come visit anyways, he'd put his original plans aside... Why didn't I use that power for once?" She asked, a rhetorical question. "I rethought of all these different scenarios on how I could've stopped it..! Obviously it was too late... I knew he'd be here, anyways... Waiting for me, eventually." She finished.

"How did you know I'd be here though?" "Sweetie... I always knew-- Parents ALWAYS know! You may think you're doing a perfect job at hiding it, but you aren't... They say mom's have eyes in the back of their head for a reason, y'know!" She laughed softly. "Wh.. So... wait-" Alastor was confused.

"Baby, I knew you'd been doing the killing... including occasionally eating a person or two... Granted! You tended to go after the men who were... honestly deserving of much worse..!" She said with a soft smile, "But I still was disappointed in your choices you made." She added, and Alastor looked down... In shame!

Alastor?! FEELING SHAMEFUL?! EMBARRASSMENT?! Impossible!

"I raised you better, I know I did! But... I can at least feel happy that you didn't end up like many of the men... objectifying women and being disrespectful. I may have raised a psychopath of a son, but at least he's respectful towards women." She said sweetly.

"I like to think he's the lesser evil in the world! Especially when he's killing bad people!" Halo spoke up with a grin. "I like to believe that too, dear! Don't you worry!" Nora laughed a little.

Alastor had been... Surprisingly well behaved, all things considered! But... Then again... Mama Alastor was here, anything to not disappoint her!

Alastor was going on another stroll to get a few errands done as well as some fresh air! Halo insisted on joining this time... They didn't wanna get on their computer for once.

But Nora insisted she come with! She wanted to see some other shops, see what they had to buy and maybe go on a but if a shopping spree, she deserved a treat, in her opinion!

"Ah sweet, Mama Alastor is joining!" Halo says while standing at their door, already having got their shoes on. "What? Mama Alastor?" She tilts her head a little, "Oh! Uh... It's a... uh... Basically like a thing in the vtuber community? We usually don't know the names of our oshi-- or favorite streamer's-- parents so we usually call them like... Mama and then vtuber's first or last name, or replace Mama with papa!" Halo explained, "It's hard to explain to someone who.. isn't also from 2020s, let alone just the 2000s..." They added with a small shrug.

"I have a bit of a hard time remembering names sometimes, so..." They quickly added again, "sorry if it made you uncomfortable!" "No need to apologize, honey! You're alright," Nora chuckled softly.

It was a peaceful day! Well, as peaceful as hell can be. No demon's giving issues! No overlords trying him! No Vox to be found-

Shit.. knock on wood--

"Well, if it isn't the fucking RADIO DEMON. Decided to come out from hiding in your little radio tower?" The TV headed demon commented with lots of snark.

"Ah... And I thought today would be such an amazing and surprisingly quiet day! You just LOVE ruining everything, don't you?" Alastor said with his typical grin.

Then Vox noticed the new demon beside him, he'd never seen her before...

"And who might this lovely lady be?" Vox immediately tried his manipulative tactics-- suffice to say, Alastor wasn't very happy about that.

"Excuse my language, but BACK THE FUCK UP YOU FLAT FACED BASTARD." His voice had a LOT of radio distortion, yet he didn't drop that smile.

Nora gave a look, but said nothing... He was just trying to protect his mom, she understood that.

"And why do YOU have an issue? Are you dating? With the way Halo acts, I would've thought you two were but turns out you're with someone else?" Vox smirked, but then it dropped with Alastor very visibly gagged...

And Nora looked like she was about to prove sinners could die permanently without angelic intervention.

"What-"

"Ew... I shouldn't be surprised pro-shippers would be in hell-- no offense to any pro-shippers but also full offense as well.." Halo commented while back up a little. "Heavens, no! That's disgusting! I'd rather die again in the most painful way possible!" Alastor said.

"Dear, I'm his MOTHER." She said.

Basically Cue the radio stop noise thing-

Except make it a TV.

Before Vox started laughing, "Oh so he's still being walked everywhere by his mommy?" "Oh you're so very lucky I don't want to get in trouble from her, otherwise I'd end you here and now." Alastor said with an irritated grin.

"So you admit you listen to mommy?! Ha! Pathetic! He's a mommy's boy!" Vox cackled, he couldn't stop. "I have very good reasoning... You know that odd stereotype of a joke that moms aren't the people to mess with? They aren't wrong... She may be a lovely lady... But boy can she pack a punch... It's not because.. Oh I'm a mama's boy... It's because I'm smart and would quite like to be able to live!" He said with a smile.

Vox just laughed harder, "mama? Being dangerous?!" He was cracking up...

Until Nora practically through his dumb ass.

"Not to be that guy.. buuuuttt... I told ya so!~" He cooed with a very satisfied grin.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Vox yelped, "For one, you DO NOT laugh at my son, especially considering he... slaughtered many overlords the moment he got here? Classic Alastor fashion, if I'm honest... For another, I'VE HEARD ABOUT WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS YOU ARE!" She raised her voice.

"Clearly you lacked a mother to teach you proper manners, hell you clearly even lack a decent father! Shame on you! I've heard of your fights! Don't think I'll let you go off so easy just because I didn't see it." She growled, "I'm no damsel in distress. I'm the reason his father died so early and I'm the reason his killers died not too long after they murdered him! I killed for him twice in life, I can double-- even QUADRUPLE-- that in the afterlife!" She continued, "You don't EVER mess with a mama bear. It's the worst possible idea. If you value your life, you'll flee and go home and behave like a good boy!" She scolded Vox, absolutely not a single bit of fear.

"And if I hear you've laid even a FINGERNAIL close to a single hair on him... I'll do more than tear into you verbally. I'll let you find out WHY Alastor even fears me." She was practically Vox's height, it was kinda scary how tall she ACTUALLY was.

"Am I understood?" She asks and Vox nods quickly "Uh... Y-.. Yeah..." "Hmm? What was that?" She asked, "Yes ma'am! Loud and clear!" He nods...

And he flees.

"Smart man, that one! Pleasantly surprised." She smiled as if she hadn't just threatened one of the most influential overlords...

One of the Vees, no less!

"Alastor, why didn't you tell us your mom was a FUCKING BADASS??" Halo yells, running up to Nora and running circles around her, "She's so COOL! WHAT??" They add excitedly while the woman laughs a little.

"But wait, the hell did you do to make even AL be scared of you? Abuse him? Surely not, he clearly loves you to bits and pieces!" They asked curiously.

"Sweetheart, I may be kind... Sweet... Yes, I babied him a lot! Far past when he was a small child! But I know him well. I know what works. Usually he's quite well behaved, only needing a light restriction half the time! But I wasn't AFRAID to get physical if I needed to, I just believed it wasn't the most productive way! He learned real quickly that if he disrespected me, he'd know the true meaning of fear. His father could never compare." She explained.

"I had to spank him a few times, god knows most of the time he saw my pure raw strength when his father went too far." She added, "Oh.. Yeah... I forgot about that... The majority of her physical demonstrations weren't on me! Primarily on my father whenever he laid a hand on me." Alastor nodded in agreement.

"I figured out she could likely easily overpower me, even when I hit my teenage years! One of the women that truly scared the daylights out of me... Mostly, I believed it was ME who should be protecting women, at least considering size differences.. Until you watch this woman just brute force a grown man in his 30s onto a counter because he dared to lay a hand on her kid with barely any struggle... The strength of a mom is truly horrifying.." Alastor almost shivered a bit.

"Well the strength part is true as hell! I've heard stories of moms straight up LIFTING CARS OFF OF THEIR KIDS! Adrenaline is a hell of a drug!" Halo nodded, easily believing what was being said.

Yet, despite that, Alastor couldn't help but still feel VERY protective of his mom-- That's his mom, after all! If anyone wanted to lay a hand on her, they had to go through him! Nora let him, mostly because he was always a stubborn boy, growing up, and she let him just to let him feel better... Feel stronger. She could take care of herself, but if it made him happy, who was she to argue? It meant less work for her!

Until the attack from heaven.

She WATCHED her son be harmed, she watched him almost die AGAIN. That pissed her off so much.

"YOU DARE HURT HIM?! I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT ACTUAL PAIN IS!"

Hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Or, as the case may be, hell hath no fury like a mother scorned.

She kicked Adam's ass to high heaven (lmao)

It was just funny how Niffty was the one to kill him... With a stab to the back, too!

"You know what? He deserved it... I shouldn't be surprised he's so egotistical, if he was the template for men... Go figure-- Well, I'm not sure how much they've changed since the 20s? Are they still how they used to be?" Nora asked Halo and they shrugged. "We got plenty of feminist men! But... They're all drowned out by the 'alpha male' podcast guys... Tate's little stannies." They explained, "Alpha...? Tate- stannies?" She was very confused, "Nothing! Just... cringe guys who believe in women being tradition wives but not men being traditional husbands... It's wayyyyy too much to explain, you'd have to see for yourself!" They continued.

Nora immediately left to find Alastor and make sure he was OK.

Luckily he was! He nearly gave her a heart attack! "You really do need to stop being so overly confident, Hun... It'll get you killed like it did before." She softly lectured him and he sighed. "Even in death, I never escape the lectures and life lessons..." He comments, mainly under his breath. "Hm?" She gave a look-- a look he knew all too well.

"Nothing, Mama!" He quickly spoke up as she finished bandaging up some cuts, scrapes, and gashes.

Once she finished getting him all patched up-- golly, it reminded him of his grade school days! Coming home from school after some kids picked on him and hurt him... Or coming home after accidentally scraping himself when playing in the park... She was always there to softly scold him all while tending to his wounds and giving him a piece of candy afterwards!

Sometimes he thought, maybe he did it on purpose, just for the love and candy... Despite the fact he could've gotten it if he just asked... Like he had done plenty of times before.

And now the hotel was rebuilt, and even bigger and better than before! Charlie admired the hardwork everyone put into rebuilding the hotel!

"Well then!" Nora broke the silence, "I'm betting at least a few of you are starving! How about I make everyone some Jambalaya?" She asked sweetly, Alastor immediately perked up. "As long as you hVe ingredie-" Nora was about to add before suddenly Alastor disappeared... and then reappeared. "Cross the shopping off the list, even if we didn't have any earlier, we do now!"

"Of course you would," Nora laughed a little. Everyone was excited! Considering Alastor had mentioned his mom's Jambalaya when he first got to the hotel, now they were eager to try it!

Until Halo tried it and immediately was making sounds of discomfort. "Are you alright, dear?" Nora asked in a concerned tone, "It's hot! No one said it was hot!" They said while gulping their drink desperately, "Oh, I'm sorry! Are you allergic to spicy things?" She asked and they shook their head, "No, they just have a really REALLY bad spice tolerance." Vaggie explained, "Halo, darling..! It's Cajun food! Traditional Cajun food! A lot of Cajun food includes spicy ingredients!" Alastor said, "Wait is Jambalaya Cajun or Creole?" Halo asked, their tongue slowly starting to feel better, "Both, actually! It started as a Cajun cuisine, but soon the Creoles picked it up and tailored it to their tastes! The main difference is Cajun Jambalaya looks brown while Creole Jambalaya looks red, the Creole version includes tomatoes and is layered, while the Cajun one is dumped all at once and doesn't usually include tomatoes! I made the Cajun version today," Nora explained and Halo nodded.

"Yeah, sorry... I got shit spice tolerance, like... black pepper is spicy!" They said, and Nora's eyes widened. "Oh my... That's-- what do you use to season your food?!" She asks, "Well, I don't cook for one... I'm scared of the stove and burning myself-" Halo started, "Salt." Alastor said simply.

"Hm?" Nora glanced over, "Salt. They season their food with salt... so much salt... ungodly amounts of salt... It puts Husk to shame, even!" He spoke, "So much salt that they could fill an entire ocean with the amount of salt they consume. They cover their food in it to the point MOST people can't even have a single bite without it being too salty!" He continued.

"What..." "Yeah... I really... REALLY... Like salt!" Halo grinned.

It was such a long day... The fight... Rebuilding the hotel... Even just the socializing. Alastor was honestly exhausted. He never really slept, but now he WANTED to. But he couldn't. He thought back to the lyrics of some song Halo sang and really liked, apparently it was one of THEIR mom's favorite songs.

'Why do I tire of counting sheep, when I'm far too tired to fall asleep?'

He was to tired to sleep.

It was so childish, he felt like a 6 year old again, wandering down to his mom's room after the thunder woke him up in the middle of the night, dragging his blanket and pillow into the bed room and shaking his mom awake to tell her that the thunder woke him up (as if it wasn't incredibly obvious...)

But it was practically reflex. He felt like he was on autopilot!

He knocked on the door before he heard a quiet, tired, "come in!", so he opened to door. "Oh, Al! Is something wrong?" She asked, and he just shrugged a little. He looked so tired.

"You look exhausted, did you know that?" She asked as he walked over to the bed, "I had an idea..." He said quietly while laying on the bed. He almost knocked out right then. "Yes, you can sleep in here if you'd like, thanks for asking!" Nora said softly yet playfully, Alastor couldn't help but huff out a small laugh despite his exhaustion, "Too late to ask now." He mumbled.

She truly was privileged, wasn't she? She was like... the ONLY one Alastor allowed to touch him without asking, or without him initiating! And the only one who could touch his head. He didn't like physical contact much, but it was soothing when Nora did it, it was how she comforted him when he was scared as a little kid.

He couldn't help but remember when he was small, laying his head on her lap in the living room. The heavy rain hitting the windows and roof, occasionally flashes of lightning, the rolling of thunder, waking him up late at night when she was still awake and reading in the living room. She'd pet his head while she read her book while he fell back asleep, the radio was always nice background noise that also comforted him during storms. Hearing the different now obscure advertisements of the day, and then the jazz playing after a few advertisements, even just the static noise was nice!

He felt like a kid again-- maybe feeling things wasn't ALWAYS so bad, it let him feel nostalgic feelings like this! He was fast asleep before he even knew it, he didn't know when he fell asleep, but all he remembered was the feeling of mama petting his head felt soothing again, he knew he missed his mother! But... He didn't realize just how much he missed her until she was back with him again...

Some may think she's one of those weird boy moms, but no! She just really liked to baby her precious boy-- no matter how old he got, she'd always see him as her little boy who ran to her when the lightning struck and the thunder got too loud.

But even he knew that if he had EVER gotten a significant other, Nora would've likely sided with the S/O on lots of things.

He was a mama's boy through and through, that much was true! And she loved that! But she wasn't afraid to correct him and she sure as hell wasn't afraid of someone 'coming in and stealing him from her'.... God knows she WANTED that to happen, but she never pestered him about it.

How long was he out for? He felt so confused, like one of those long naps you have after school with those marks all over your body from the sheets!

"Well good morning-- technically afternoon, but still!" Nora's voice caught him by surprise-- oh, right... He went to her room and fell asleep...

"What time is it?" He asked, "almost 2 in the afternoon, dear!" She responded, he slept... For almost... 14 HOURS?! "Wait... I was asleep for--" "14 hours! You were really tired. You really need to TRY and sleep more, even if it's hard to. You worry me, you know?" She responded with a small nod.

"Yeah... But I actually feel really good after that... I haven't slept that well since I'd gotten here." He commented, "So what did it then?" She asked, "Don't know... All I really know is I was remembering when I was kid... When it would storm and the thunder was loud," He responded while he got up, his suit was all wrinkled, but oh well, he could ask Niffty to iron it later. "I remember that..! The thunder and lightning did always scare you," Nora nodded with a hum, "You didn't even change clothes before bed!" She gasped, "That's how tired I was, I suppose!" Alastor laughed a little with a little shrug.

He hugged her for a moment-- it was a quick moment, but it was a hug that told you he MEANT IT.

"Even thought I don't think you deserve to be down here... It's good to have you back, mama."

[timespaceandfilm]

Reinventing the Wheel - Ch 7: Best Laid Plans

Author: timespaceandfilm

Fic Rating: E - this fic gets NSFW in later chapters, 18+ only

Chapter Rating: M

Pairing: Sebastian x Female Farmer

Chapter Word Count: 4k

Chapter Warnings: misunderstandings, arguing, some derogatory name-calling, and mention of anxiety attack.

Chapter Summary: Charlie doesn't even want to be at this damn festival.

Blurb:

“So, Seb says to me ‘Abby, just because you win every year doesn't mean you have to gloat about it.’” Abby lowers her voice in a disturbingly accurate Seb impression. “And then Sam goes ‘Yeah, Abby. You can't even claim to be good at it when your only real competition is two five year olds.’ So I was like, ‘fine then, I'll find some real competition since you cowards won't offer any.’”

We finally stop where Sam and Seb are standing on the grass. Seb is in the process of putting out a half-smoked cigarette on the nearby stone walkway. He's wearing his usual black jeans with a purple button up. The way his sleeves are rolled up would be distracting if I wasn't preoccupied. 

I pull my arm out of Abby's grasp. “Abby. What the hell are you on about?”

“The egg hunt, duh!” She adjusts the straps of her overalls.

I look at Sam, hoping for a better explanation. He's wearing a white blazer with a shirt that matches his eyes underneath. It's strange seeing him dressed so formally after last night. Even his hair is combed down, leaving few signs of his chaotic personality. Sam sighs, folding his arms.

“Part of this festival is the annual egg hunt, which is for kids.” Sam looks pointedly at Abby.

“You and Maru compete in it too!” Abby frowns. “It'd be boring if it was just two little kids doing it.”

“Yeah, but even the hard logic girl knows to go easy on them! No one else is literally grabbing eggs from under the kindergartner's noses.”

“I'm just playing the game, Sam. Competition builds character. If you lose you don't whine about it. You get good.”

“The point, Abby,” Seb interrupts, looking done with this conversation. “Is that you play a dirty game. If anyone were willing and able to compete with the same tactics, you wouldn't win every year.”

“And to that I say, bullshit!” Abby doesn't bother lowering her voice.

“What does any of this have to do with me?” I tug on one of my braids.

Seb clocks this movement and his expression shifts more toward neutral. Fangirl bot takes note of the way his gaze lingers on my hair as I turn back to Abby.

“I want you to help prove these bozos wrong by competing against me.” Abby grins proudly.

“Uhhh.” The brain bots ramp up their whirring. “I dunno about that.”

My first thought is absolutely not. Running around in front of the entire town in a game meant for kids? Hell no. If I lose I feed Abby's ego. If I win I get to deal with the shame of robbing Vincent and Jas of a chance to get the prize.

“Oh, c'mon! It'll be fun! I'm gonna tell Lewis we need an extra basket!” And with that she's off.

“God fucking damnit!” I make sure to cuss under my breath.

Read the Full Chapter on AO3

[weebsinstash]

Tbh I have never seen a villainess manga/manhwa where the FL is like Oh youre cheating on me??? Well let me have a good time and get a lover as well, because if you get to have one I do too. Like all those humiliating situations FLs go through with their husband and mistress would be a lot more even if they had their own lover. Like oh you wanna flaunt your mistress to everyone and dance with her at social events? Well here is my lover/mistress right by my side and Imma dance with them and not mind you. The husband is saying the FL is cold and arrogant and cannot show love? Well here is once again her own lover/mistress to prove you wrong because guess what someone was fucking your wife last night and it wasnt you

Honestly there are probably some that exist! From what I've seen, the manhwa community is similar to the manga community in that it follows trends and many things can be published or produced at once, so maybe it's a matter of trying to shift through all the bulk?

I think the thing that's infuriating is most of these dudes are such fucking chumps that they would get jealous, but their reaction would probably be to tell their FL "oh, you're clearly doing this just for my attention, how childish of you" and it's like fine call me bozo the clown because I'm about to get a wacky creampie from your brother/rival

Honestly I wish the story existed where it's like "you know what crown prince? Not only am I leaving you, im leaving you for your father the emperor. I'm your mom now boy, go to your room"

I have been reading so many Villainess/Revenge manhwa and I honestly can't recall any like you're saying. The closest thing I can think of is a scene from "I Want To Become The Emperor So I Need A Divorce" where the husband's lover's uncle who runs a theater company is hosting a play meant to mock the FL, and when her shit husband asks what she thought of the play, and she lied and said it was nice and then he goads her further to start reciting her favorite line, she calls his fucking bluff and walks up to the actor that had played her husband and starts reciting exact lines, but in such a way it seems like she is genuinely flirting with the actor, and she even puts a royal gemstone on his finger to symbolically say "you're as good as the duke" and he gets so fucking mad he basically had the entire theater company ruined

I just want to watch garbage men be ruined, like I am actively seeking out stories where women leave their shit partners and enjoy watching them mald and seethe while living a better life with their new partner. I can't wait for the final season of Remarried Empress, and Father I Dont Want This Marriage, and kt isn't a romance but I think I will DIE if I never see the ending of Actually I Was The Real One because that fucking bitch tried to steal her family! And I also found an extremely similar manywa that's brand new called The Saintess Returns as a Villain and maybe that will be good but it is still too early to tell.

And you know what, I know a good revenge manhwa but it's more revenge in the form of "you neglected me and made me feel like shit so im running away and cutting you out of my life and even when I need support you aren't good enough" and that would be The Time Of The Terminally Ill Extra. It hasn't updated it forever so im afraid it might be dropped but it's about a girl who has been shoved to the side for the sake of her sickly younger sister who she has had to compromise everything for, even entering school late to take care of her, giving her her toys, being trained to never disobey or show she's unhappy because even when she cries she's told "how dare you cry when your sister is in pain?". Well, it turns out the FL is terminally ill, even sicker than her sister, amd she decides to run away and never even tell her family, who initially don't even care she's missing and then proceed to not believe it when they are told their daughter is fatally sick. I might actually start reading the novel because the story has me so invested. The FL has an uncurable illness called Artist's Disease where she can bring to life anything she draws but at the cost of her own life, but her family neglected her so fucking much they never even knew she liked to draw or noticed how extremely gifted she was, which, the extreme talent is a symptom of Artist's Disease because their abilities are "blessings", and if her family had noticed and gotten her diagnosed earlier she wouldn't be dying. But even as it's killing her, she refuses to stop drawing because it's her passion and joy. She grew up so lonely that as a child she would draw fairies and other people to talk to her and be her friends and her art is extremely personal to her that she would literally die than give it up. I really hope this manhwa finishes like I have heard spoilers about because it sounds like everything turns out alright in the end, but not before massive heartbreak 🥺

[the-firebird69]

For lunch and full skill attacks on the trumps in the max supporting them and it's going well they're not sustaining their forces. They're falling rapidly and they won't last the day. It is a matter of ignorance and they are very ignorant people. They have about three or four trillion in each area going after stuff and we take them out every hour and by the end of the day they are not going to be a significant Force globally and they are not going to be at the finance centers as much probably half of what they were and they will also be in constant state of battle and war because of today's events. They're extremely obnoxious and rude unkind and very sloppy and we must take advantage of it in order to take over the banks and we're going to use it against the max who are pushing them and right now it's relatively easy they become more difficult later and we'll just simply hold the ground we took but the more we take of the ground the war was going to have to use to hold it and we need to to weaken them in less than their threat potential

Thor Freya

Olympus

I'm actually sick of it I can't stand this guy he is such a repulsive a****** we need him out ASAP and out of the sheriff's office I don't know why the hell he ever got in there he's such a bum he's a putrid loser and bja opted for his Island let's start having everybody else fall apart he's terrifying me bad too at it

Hera

The max use that function and it's working but not really working that well for them and they can't see why it's bad yet and they haven't suffered massive losses until the past couple days and they said they're making an offensive and then going to gain by grabbing the ships Tommy f would be defeated by the empire alone with a stone chips up and the only one zero to the foreigners would eventually have to engage to fight over the hulls that they left. But the empire also has two mega ships in the outclass all of Tommy f ships and he turns out to be a bum and the trumps are complete absolute bums and don't have a fleet worth mentioning and there's not much they can do about it so they harass our son and are going to lose everything because other groups need stuff to build chips with as they sit there and whittle away at everything and let it all go we're not going to do business with them we're not sending any chassis or bodies to them we're taking over their factories they chose to fall flat on their face and don't seem to care about it we're sending your orders out to that effect right now

Thor Freya

Olympus

We're beginning your idea and we understand that these bozos think that they have a plan and they want to combine all these parts into kits for certain vehicles, we're going to do similar and then we're going to start adding to it eventually you do the hatchback and it looks intense as it is right now they have a lot of fairings and body parts that make it look pretty good and then make it work better and yeah they're going to come up with these kits and they're going to charge money too much and it will probably work for time and other people will compete and will be cheaper and probably better and then we will of course gobble them all up. And she is injured badly and doesn't feel good and she should have stayed home and healed and has rings on to prove she's threatening our son and other items lots of it and what we say is you should have stayed home and tried to get better so she's angry about that and says it's not right for us to say it and of course it is nobody else is they're all telling you the wrong thing since now it's on so just run through the minefield like everybody else. She's kind of gets it and her father is a huge loser and liar and we want them out of here and enough for this moron so I'll just walk by same dumb s*** we're going to try and get the car program going because everything else sucks wind down here and they seem to like it

You have some feedback already and it's very positive it's unbelievable but there are huge numbers of people that want him to do it giant numbers want to see them work together to see if they get along and they want to see if it goes anywhere or who's watching and why they're doing it because of Disney world and raceway and more and they also want to try and revolt and has to do with the max and we're going to leave people behind like Trump and hes spent

Thor Freya

We have a lot of people that want to do this idea and we have interest here of people to make fairing kits including Biden and we welcome it and he says not a toy and her son knows that and it's familiar with the machine and knows about better Jets and he's flying he says a better shut up he doesn't fly those because the max have them and it says oh yeah and you designed them you said and you let them go and you let these retards do whatever they want to whomever they want and feel like they're doing the right thing because you got very annoyed and couldn't help it like Dave and he says a little bit but it's true and you're flinging them that stuff so if I fleeing that stuff they might prepare or they might do something at least point it out rather than die a useless death. And that's true. So he's talking about too and he wants to be involved somehow and he wants people to do well but doesn't know exactly what he'd do and the sun says to be like a supplier and try and get it to work because you have a vested interest in supplying the particular kit and he gets it. And we have a Jenna problem just saying he's not to have Biden do anything and it's not his faulty you f***** it all up because Brian who is handing stuff to the empire not to the other guys and won't shut up and won't stop. People take the cake they're just absolute f****** assholes

Bitol and Goddess Wife

Olympus

[tanetlee]

Greed, pride, wrath, insolence, and those tyrannical practices which they have within them [1]

- Ye immortal God [2]! Watcha looking at?

- Looking like straight bozos [3] over there, aren't you?

- Look at that bastard [Argus] [4]! Used to be my homie, now you act like you don't know me [3]. Why y'all let his punk ass in the group [3], Shiva and Pinterest? [Argus'] on your team, so you're losing [3].

- You keep talking Dr. Who, but here's what [Krakow] thinks about you [3]: Y'all [gods] just phony [3], acting like you the best of all [5]. You got the nerve to say that you better than [us] [6]. The [Krakowens] know who and what their gods are [7]. I'll prove you lost already [6]. In the city, space is needed, time is weeded. Fact is, space is the original, we inspired your time. None of us will ever be the same [8], cos [we are] the truest [6] and you're long forgotten.

- Excuse me, was you saying something [9]? There is some difference between you and me [10]: We are more famous than ever before and absolutely nobody believes [11] in you. Your peeps ain't strong enough [12], you're not on [our] level [12]. And you got it twisted: first, there was time, then came space. So, Krakow likes Krakusa, not Wandy. Krakow likes time, not space.

- Y'all disgrace the [city] [3]. You say Krakow likes Krakusa, Krakow likes time? Objection [13]! Life ain't shit without [4] Wandy, life ain't shit without [4] time. Truth is, there is no conflict [14], cos Krakow's choosing us. We will not lose [6], for space is king.

- Born sinner, the opposite of a winner [4]. But, speak, speak, whatever it is thou hidest beneath thy lying looks [15]. The city is ours and with it, the powers.

- I'm sick of your little [...] group [16], all you do is annoy me [16]. Talking to you is not a joy, for I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate [17].

- Now y'all tryna take my spot, fella [6]? You hate [us] [18]? No, sir, I hate [you] [10]. It ain't over [3]!

[In vain they shout, in vain they brawl, two groups fighting, petty and small.

For what's the use of such a fight, when no one's wrong and no one's right?

And when the fight is said and done, they'll see they've lost and no one's won.

For when the dust has settled down, they'll find that peace is the only crown.]

[1] Castiglione, The Book of the Courtier

[2] Cicero, Philippics

[3] Ice Cube, No Vaseline

[4] Lil Wayne, A Milli

[5] Fuller, Synergetics

[6] Nas, Ether

[7] Calasso, Ardor

[8] Skrillex; Yung Lean; Bladee, Ceremony

[9] Kanye West, Can't Tell Me Nothing

[10] Goldoni, The Comedies of Carlo Goldoni

[11] Tate, Twitter

[12] Jay-Z, Takeover

[13] Aquinas, Summa Theologica

[14] Serres, The Parasite

[15] Seneca, Complete Works

[16] Eminem, The Real Slim Shady

[17] Zizek, Less Than Nothing

[18] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[spooky-muldy]

Emoji Movie Script

Here it is, Spanish version and other languages coming soon:

The world we live in. It's so wondrous, mysterious, even magical. No. No, not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program and app is its own little planet of perfect technology, all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text. Addie McAllister? Must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam. Don't send her your Social Security number. Dude. She's right there. That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, as the pace of life gets faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter and... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in, the most important invention in the history of communication... Emojis. That's my home. Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. The Christmas Tree just has to stand there all festive. Merry Christmas. It's still September, Tim. The Princesses... I am so pretty. They just got to wear their crowns and keep their hair combed. You guys, we are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up. They just show up, and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Crier always has to cry, even if he's just won the lottery. Hooray! I'm a billionaire! The Laugher is always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. I can see the bone! Now, me, I'm a Meh. So I got to be totally over it all the time, you know, like, "Meh, who cares?" Which is not as easy as it sounds. Morning, Mrs. D. I see you have the little minis with you. They're so cute. That is so adorable, I can't take it! Now I'll never get them to sleep. Stick to your one face, weirdo. No! No! It's hard to always act blase, when living in Textopolis is just so exciting. Hello, good simians. Those are some sharp attaches. Yes, well, we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. I sounded British! Meh. That was really good. Meh. Meh. That was a great... -Whatcha doing there, mate? -Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Boy. I'm gonna be so meh. What are you gonna do? Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Here's my sauce now. G'day, mate. Hey. Konnichiwa. Sorry, emoticons! I hate knocking over the elderly. Here, let me help, let me help. My colon! Is that the time? Hey, my eyes are up here, pal. Yeah! All right! Right on time. So, last week, Alex sends me next to this guy. That kid! Where does he get this stuff? Why are you laughing, freak? Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. In public. He was. I remember. Let's go somewhere more private. I have some bad news, Gene. And I'm afraid you'll have the wrong reaction. Okay. What's the wrong reaction? Anything other than "meh." Come on. I don't want to be late. I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, what? You're just not ready, son. Come on! Working in the cube is an emoji's whole purpose in life. Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me. Sweetie, that's not true. Yeah! I'm gonna work on the phone, and I'm only 10. That's because I believe in you. Should we wash our hands? No, no, no. We're number two! We're number two! We're number two! See? I... I know I'm different, okay? But when I need to, I can be meh. I just... I want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Like everybody else, and then... Then I would finally fit in, you know? You fit in, honey. No, I don't, Mom. I never have. But I can change all that if you'd just let me. Just give me a chance. But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No, Dad, I'll make the right face. Look. Meh... You're so handsome when you make that face. I think he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come on, Dad. Let me prove it to you. If you really think you're ready. I am! Yes! Yes. I promise, I won't let you down. Stop. Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you. It's really her. Pizza! Hey! Your first day on the job. Hi. Hi. Don't be nervous. I won't bite. Hi. I'm Smiler. Don't touch me. Hi! Okay. I mean, hey. As you know, I'm Smiler. I am the system supervisor here because I was the original emoji. Here's how it works. It's nothing fancy. Wait a minute. It's really fancy! You each have your own cube on the emoji bar. If Alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up. It's showtime. The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box. And let me tell you, guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. You're gonna love it. Really. Now, over here is the favorites section where you'll find all the most popular emojis. And, of course, you'll find my cube here. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. What? What did I say? Rocket looking to party. Come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted. Steven, for the last time, I don't want to buy a time-share. Come on, man, it's Hi-5. You know me, I'm a favorite. Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. And if he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. It's got to be some sort of mistake. I mean, look at me, I'm an attractive hand giving a high five. Fist Bump. Come on in. Hey. Fist Bump? He's a knucklehead. Literally. Look at him. I can look like that. Cramp. Huge mistake. Help. Help me. Help up the hand. There you go. Thanks, mate. Hey, little Meh, how about you create a distraction, and then I'll just slip under the rope? Is someone lost? Smiler, hi. Just leaving. Yeah, you know, just killing time before I go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even see me anymore! You may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place in the cube. Yeah, in the nosebleeds. I'm standing right here. Words hurt. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself. Blah. I was made to be happy, so I am always smiling. Places, please. Emojis to your cubes. Attention. We've got incoming. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. My gosh, my own cube. I can't believe it. I could put a plant over here. And over here could go an inspirational calendar. Okay. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. Look at our son down there. I'm just beaming with pride. You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? Hie-ro-gly-phics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. Does that remind anyone of anything? Hello? A language of pictures. Anyone? Early hieroglyphs date back as far as 3,300... I got to reply to Addie's text. What should I write? Nothing. Words aren't cool. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. All right, Alex is not sure how he wants to play this. I would really love it to be me. Beam me up! Beam me up! I need Thumbs Up on standby. Yeah! Thumbs Up is going in! Wait! Alex is changing his mind. He's moving. Okay. Looks like it's gonna be Meh. I'm so nervous, I could almost shrug. We are go for Meh. Initiating scan. Okay. You can do this. I can't do this! I can't do it! What is this? Stop the scan! I can't! It's too late! Meh, meh, meh, meh. My goodness, I'm freaking out! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face! Good for him! Little... Wait, what? Be meh! Be meh! Be meh! Abort! Abort! Shut it down! Shut it down! What is that emoji? Wrong emoji sent! Evacuate the Meh cube! Evacuate the cube! I got to get out of here. Get that bozo out of there! I'm trying! No! My God. The humanity. Medic. Sorry, everybody. That was not what I meant to do. I kinda... I kinda panicked. Are you even a Meh at all? Course he is. He's my spitting image. If you have expressions other than meh, what you are is a malfunction. Malfunction? No! I can be meh. Just give me one more chance. That's not gonna happen. You know what would be really fun? A board meeting. Where we could figure out what to do with you! I knew there was something wrong with him. A malfunction? What's gonna happen to him? He can't work on the phone. What would Alex think? What do his parents think? I just wanted to be useful, you know? Fit in. Now everybody thinks I'm a malfunction. I am a malfunction. Even if you are a malfunction, Gene, your mom and dad still love ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get you out of here and take you home. One day, all this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. Wait. You want to hide me away? You're embarrassed of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene? Where are you going? I'm not gonna run away from this. I'm an emoji, and even though I'm not sure exactly which one, I've got to have some sort of purpose here. I know it. Gene, no. Sweetie, please. Boy. A malfunction... Order! Order! The motion is carried. So, how'd it go, Gavel? Hey, Light Bulb, tell me what's going on in there. What? Poop, what is it? Tell me, turd. Tell me true. What happened? I know it was an accident. We all have accidents. You're so soft, Poop. Not too soft, I hope. Gene! We were just gonna come looking for you. Why don't you come inside the boardroom, and we can have a teeny, weeny chat. Um, I came up here to defend myself, but you seem pretty happy. So, good news? Right. I'm always happy. Right. Hashtag truth. Well, the only thing that could ever make me unhappy is if one of our emoji team made a mistake, which caused Alex to lose faith in the phone. And then our whole world gets wiped out. Smiler, I double-pinky-swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. We know you won't, Gene. We know you won't. You know, the first time you said it, it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and then, that was weird. That's because we're setting you up with our best Anti-Virus Bots. So, they'll like... They'll just... They're gonna fix me? Actually, delete you. But yes! If you get deleted, you don't have to worry about what your purpose is or the future or why you're such a malfunction. 'Cause you're deleted, right? All right, good talk. Bots! No! Don't let him escape! Party time! Wait a minute... The air is better here. Beer, Tea. I'm Coffee! Sorry. Sheesh. So edgy. My old cube. Take a hike, Mike. -My name's not Mike. -What? There's AV Bots coming! For me? Just because I'm in the wrong section? Holy deleto! What do we do? Quick! This way! Let's go. Don't tell anyone you're about to see this. They'll never find us down here. Where are we? The basement? No. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out. Go fish, Fish Cake With Swirl. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. I almost got deleted. Me, Hi-5. Hey. What's up, Hi-5? They weren't trying to delete you. They were trying to delete me. You? What's so important about you they'd send out an entire team of Bots? They say I'm a malfunction. You bringing malfunctions in here now, Hi-5? For crying out loud, Abandoned Luggage, that had better not be my leftover Chinese food. What Chinese food? Do you have any idea what it's like to be living large, hashtag blessed, the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit my calluses for me? At least you're a working emoji. That's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it'll take for you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find a hacker? In the Piracy app. Duh. Who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get there, I mean, I'd have to leave Textopolis. So? I've done it. Would you be a brother? One of the Princess emojis left the phone altogether. Now she lives on the cloud. That is good. I'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to be reprogrammed, and then, I can finally be the Meh I was meh to be. Help me find that hacker, Hi-5. Will you? Please? Maybe this hacker could help you, too. Like rewrite some code, get you into the favorites section. Wait a minute. I've been trying to use my charisma and sense of entitlement to get me back on top, but all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll. Hey, can I come, too? Talk to the hand, Red Wagon. I thought I was. Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fish Cake with Swirl. Daddy's heading back to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait. What about the Bots? Good point. Good point. Ouch! Hey. I shouldn't have picked the cactus. I just... I shouldn't have picked it. You didn't even try to get the tree. It's baffling. Let's go. Hi-5? Hello? Hi-5? Where are you? I'm right here! Gene! Here we are, end of the text app. No way. Come on, Gene. It's perfectly safe. Gene, help me! The wallpaper monster's got me! No! Hold on, hold on! Hi-5! No. This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Hi-5! I'm... I'm just messing with you. It's one of those rubber finger-monster puppets from the '80s. I collected the whole set. All right, you coming? What do I do? What do you mean? Just take a step through the other side. This is it. The next time I come back here, I'll be a real Meh. Hi-5? No! Are you finished? Where are we? Welcome to the Wallpaper. This place is incredible. Each app is its own unique world. That's my face. You're on my... Thank you. What is this place? WeChat. It's like a whole other world. It is. What are they? They're Bubble Pups. They might be cute, but, man, are they clingy. Whee! They're stickers, Gene. Try to get with the program. This is so cool. Wait. What's in that one? -Guys, look at this picture. -Look at my baby. This is what I ate for breakfast. -This is what I ate for lunch! -Here's me on a hike! Here's me in the gym! Here's me in the bathroom! Everybody's talking about themselves. How does he know so many people? None of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. I... I think I'd... I think I'd rather just have a real friend. A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans. They give you complete and unrelenting support. As long as you're on top. Poor Gene. I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supportive. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, Mel Meh. Bots. If they haven't found Gene by now, he must have skipped town. You mean the Wallpaper? Our boy's on the run. How about we find him ourselves? Yeah, for sure. Tell all Bots to follow those Mehs. I'm sure they'll know all the freaky-deaky apps Gene will hide out in. I'm really good at making plans, you guys. Right? Here we are. The Piracy app. This is where we'll find Jailbreak. Um... But this is the Dictionary. That's just what Alex wants his parents to think. This is called a skin. Really? What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? Just try to keep up. This place can get a little rough. Ahoy, mateys. Look who's back! Hi-5! I'm a bit of a celebrity here. Always welcome.! Loser! Come on. Follow me. Great. Emojis. I thought the conversation just got dumber. Internet trolls. Just ignore them. Eventually, they'll get a job or a girlfriend or some sort of purpose in life, and they'll stop. Virus. We'll just... We'll just walk over this way. Hi! It's so great to see you again. Do I know you? It's Spam. Just sign here and I can get you special discounts on vitamins and credit card offers that can save you up to 25%. No, no, no, don't get sucked in. Back off, Spam! It's the only way to deal... Back off! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right here. Hey, Trojan Horse. How are you? Yeah, what'll it be, hand? I'll have a bottle of "Hack Daniel's." Maybe with a plate of cheese and hackers? You trying to find a hacker? You can just ask, you know. Sorry. Um, yes. We're looking for a hacker named Jailbreak. I know a guy that can hook you up. Right over there. He looks capable. No, not him. Her. Wait. He's a she? Hey, Jailbreak. Mind if we join you? Yes. That's the thing about the Internet, isn't it? You can never tell if someone's being ironic or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. That's a good one. So, here's the thing. My friend Gene here has a little problem. Well, see, I'm supposed to be a Meh, but I don't really feel... Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And we thought you could help, since you got the Princess, you know, off the phone. Not interested. Hold up. That's not a Meh face. Bots! They're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's just something I can do. Can you help us? Follow me. Bots! Delete my history! I corrupted the entire hard drive. I made the most delicious cinnamon buns. Maybe if there was something to, you know, jog my memory. Come on! Move! Hey, Trolls, why is that mailbox wearing a tuxedo? Hi! It's so great to see you again! Call me! This tunnel will get us out of here. Move! Did that cloud taste sweet to you?! Help me! Help! I'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am I? Get me out of here. Hey, Palm Face. Try getting him out the top! Already on it! Hold tight, Gene. This feels very odd, and it smells. I mean, it smells good, it smells delicious, but I still don't like it. The game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're weirdly misshapen, you know? What are we gonna do? Stay very still. Don't worry. We've got your back. Right, Hi-5? Hey, Fingers! You want to focus? For your information, I happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very serious... Listen, Finger Head! We have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up. I don't want to blow up. We have to match up the candies, so that Gene will drop to the bottom. And we can't match him with any yellows, or else... Don't do that. Please don't do that. Watch. Match three in a row. Don't blow Gene up. Got it. And we have to be very careful. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful. -Candy! Watch it! Hey! No! No, no, no! Slow down. Not the yellows! Not the yellows. I said careful! My mom just joined Facebook. Can you believe she wanted to friend me? Hey, Addie, I was just wondering if you are... Tasty. What? Um... Excuse me? Sweet. Hey, Addie! Hi, Nikki. See you later, Alex. Sugar Crush. So over this. Wireless Wireless. How may I help you? I'd like to make an appointment. It's like this phone is playing games with me. Hey, what does this do? No! Get me out of here! No! Stop it! Stop, stop! It's not working. Well, there's one option left. We line you up with the yellows. But you said not to do that. Special candies get transported to that jar. The game might think you're a special candy. And what if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? Well... Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak? Sorry. What if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? I'm not too worried about it. Okay, just do it. Gene! Gene? Hey. No! Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see if I had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? Yes, I was. And you have not. Hey. Looks like something popped up on Alex's calendar. I'm sure it's nothing. Alex made an appointment at the phone store. No! Calm down, everyone! Calm down. Don't worry. Everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories. His appointment is with technical support. Well, I'm sure we still have plenty of time to figure this out. His appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance. Actually, it's to erase the phone. Listen, Gene, I'm about to become your knight in shining armor. You are? Yeah. But first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. That's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. The cloud? Isn't that off the phone? Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it. Yeah, the cloud. Off the phone. We're in Candy Crush, obvs. I know a shortcut to Just Dance, which is right next to Dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. Of course. Just Dance, then boogie over to Dropbox, catch the link, and zoom. Hold up. Here's the stinker. Before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this firewall. The firewall uses face identification. Yeah, the firewall. Which is really annoying, because I've already tried to get through. Guessed wrong once, and now I'm locked out for life. Locked out for life? You're thinking, 'cause I can make different faces, the firewall will think I'm different emojis. Yeah. I wanted to say it 'cause it was my idea. You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. You know what... Well, then let's hit the road. Hi-5, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think I'm gonna come around on black licorice? My precious. Hey! Move it! Certain death, here we come. Let's try this one. YouTube? What a visual treat. And I don't even need a remote. That guy is so expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yeah. Something really wrong with him. Our son is a malfunction, and you should never have let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for this, Mel. I am hopping mad at you. See? Mary, I think we're being followed. But don't overreact. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? They'll be in there for hours. Mary, where are you going? I think we should go our separate ways, Mel. I thought I knew the Meh that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary... This tunnel will help us avoid the Bots. Thanks for helping us. It's really nice of you. NBD, dude. The truth is, you're helping me. Come on, let's move it. Why so slow? Hi-5, stop. Why are you getting so close? What's with you? Back off. Can't stop now. I'm having a sugar rush! I'll go around you. If I stop moving, my heart's gonna explode! Coming through, Jailbreak! Look out! Hey! Watch it, Knuckle Butt! I can't feel my face. So, Jailbreak, back there you said I'm helping you. I've been trying to get past that firewall for months. Come on, come on! The faster we get there, the faster I become a favorite! Look at me! I just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud. What just happened? You don't like it here? There's so many rules here. What is up with that? The cloud is supposed to be amazing. There's so much to see and do. Sugar crash. I can't hold on anymore. Catch me, Gene. Catch me! And you can be whoever you want. Thanks. You're free! Come on! My gosh, my hands are sweating. You are a hand! Yeah! You know, come to think of it, I don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. Um, you know, you're taking up too much of my brain space. Let's keep the chitchat to a minimum. Someone likes you. What are you talking about? This is just like when Peace Sign gave me just one finger. I knew she was in love with me. Let's go! I'm never eating another piece of candy ever again. Hi-5, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. Don't do it. Are my fingers getting fat? I'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. Okay. We get through this app, and Dropbox is right on the other side. We just need to keep it super DL in here. And no matter what, we can't turn it on. OMG, this turned it on! What? I'm a hand. It's a big, red button. What's happening? No, no, no, no, no! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get to move forward. Do the wrong moves and you get an "X." Three strikes and you're out. Out? What does she mean by "Out"? Digital death. Thanks to you, Fingers. Now we're gonna have to dance our way out. Which is all right with me, 'cause I can shake it like Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad, Gene. I can't dance. I got no groove. Come on. Everybody can dance. Not me, okay? I'm really stiff. See? I can't... Don't understand. Okay. No, no... Stop, stop. She has to stop. I see now what you are saying. Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three... This I can't do. Two... Dude... Just shut up and... Dance! It's too easy! Hee-hee! Shamone! Jailbreak! I got you. Look. Just feel the music. Express yourself. Through dance? Yeah, you got it! Go, girl! Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito. I'm doing it! I'm fully nailing this dance! You got it! Great job! You're moving on to free dance! Impress us with your moves to move forward. More dancing? You're killing it, Gene! Slay! Nice! Shake it, Gene. You won't break it. Wait a minute! I've never seen that dance before. What's it called? Um... The Emoji Pop? I love it! What? You do? Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! Hoo! Yes! Princess. You're the Princess emoji? You never got off the phone. Welcome, new players! What? Who? No! We got to go. Don't worry. They're robots. They can't dance. Downloading funk protocol. "Can't dance," he says. Move! Congratulations. You're a disco diva. Hey, Alex, you gonna dance for us? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Hey, Alex, you gonna shake it? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! Alex must be deleting the app. Watch out! We got to get out of here. Come on! This song is my jam. Hi-5, come on! Let's go! Hurry! Hi-5! Gene! I got you! Gene... Hi-5! Gene. Hey, wait. Where's Hi-5? Alex trashed the app. And Hi-5 right along with it. Wait, what? Wait, trashed? Hi-5 is in the trash? He wanted to dance. But I knew it was a bad idea. We got to get him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right here. That's our ticket to the cloud. And the trash is on the other side of the phone. We don't know how many other Bots are out there. I'm sorry. No way. We can't go without Hi-5. I don't care how far away it is. That's my friend down there. I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted. What? What is it? I've always just thought you got to look out for number one. Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers? Okay. I'm sorry. This is my malfunction. I just... I can't be meh about anything. This is why I'm going to get reprogrammed. Well, it's actually kind of cool. Wait, really? You know, I think I know a shortcut. We can take the music streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand a hand. Come on. Alex trashed the Just Dance app, and our Bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache. I am so angry. I really need to stay happy. Can we please lighten the mood? No one can resist una fiesta! Not that happy. We've only got four hours before Alex's phone appointment. If they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all gonna be wiped. Yeah. She said, "Wiped." Aim higher, Steven. I didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. The illegal upgrade. Now that makes me happy. I just want to dance. Dance, please. Arr! Quiet, you sassy gypsy. Where am I? Hi! It's so great to see you again! You're in the trash, Fingers for Brains. Get away from me, Troll. Hi! It's so great to see you again! I got to get out of here. You can't. And at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all gonna die! No. No, no! This is the last face you will ever see. No! This is Spotify? Yep. Every one of those streams is a different song. Is it safe? Yeah! Are you sure this is a good idea? Fastest way to the trash, dude! Could we at least pick a calmer stream? Okay, buzzkill. Alex. A bunch of people are hitting the promenade. I think Addie might be there, too. That's perfect! I have an appointment down there, anyway. I've got to get this phone fixed. Hey, bubble butt. Yeah, you do. Much better. So, I got to ask. Is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies, and... Hello, stereotype. That is a complete and total myth. I'm sorry. Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be. Get ready. Whale song coming. -Wait, wait. Whale what? -A whale song. From Alex's biology presentation. You're not gonna see that sitting around in a cube. It's funny. You want out of the cube, and I want in. Gene, if that means you can't be yourself, what's the point? You know, I think you're pretty cool just the way you are. We're gonna need this. In the trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am. Look. In an old e-mail Alex never sent. "Addie, blah, blah, blah, blah, bla-la-la-la." And then there's me, Hi-5, right there, doing my job. FYI, nobody cares about you. Just leave me, Troll, and let me die in this dump alone. Let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so you can play it. It's the Hand Angel of Mercy. She's finally come for me. Give me your hand! I mean, give me yourself. Take my hand, angel. I'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? I got him! Take me with you. Hi-5! Let go of me. Don't leave me down here! You were wrong, Troll. People do care about me. And I'm not upset, Troll. Do you see how not upset I am? Gene, you came back for me. You saved me. It wasn't just me. Jailbreak helped, too. And she's a hugger. Give her a squeeze. No, no, no. There really is nothing greater than the feeling of being truly free. You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, but I was once one of you, so I, too, feel your pain. Now go. Be free! Should be smooth sailing from here. Gene. Gene. Gene? Are you Instagramming? Where is my Gene? Mary. You've really done it this time. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine. What do you mean? Is that a tear on your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way he is. I have other expressions, too. I think they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing and thinking I might have lost you, too... Mel. Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame. I like that, Mel. Let's go find our son. Together. We'll always have Paris, Mary. So, you're a princess. I saw your little tiara. Very fancy. Is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly down from... That's what I said! No, guys! That's a stupid myth! What software version are we living in? Go read an e-book. Educate yourselves. Just look behind you. What the... What is that? Smiler must have upgraded her Bots. Let's get out of here before it... Hi, Gene. Remember me? Smiler. I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater. Why don't you come back to Textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? My friend here will escort you, all right? I'm gonna see you soon, buddy. Bye, now. We're actually gonna delete him in front of everyone. Psst! It's still on! It's still what? Jiminy Sassafras! Move! Separate! Tangle him up! Jailbreak! Gene! This way! It's still after me! Let's go. We have to make it to Dropbox. Yes! No! Go low! Don't worry. It can't get in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure. Come on. Welcome to Dropbox. You are about to leave the phone. Remain seated, please. You might want to hang on. Why do they call this Dropbox, anyway? This is why! I see that now! Yeah! I think we're about to see that candy corn again! We made it. Hoo! Guys, guys, chill. We still have to get past that. Holy... Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? All right, here goes. What do I do? Sit in the corner and don't say a word. Keep those sausage fingers to yourself. Yes, Your Majesty Princess of Nightmares! Now, Gene, step onto the password icon, and I'll feed you the passwords. Okay. Okay. 10-11-2002. 10-11-2002. Access denied. Okay, try a different expression. Is it gonna blast me every time I mess up? Yeah, kinda. What do you mean, "Kinda"? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His favorite food. Chimichangas. Chimichangas? Access denied. This might take a while. Boy. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. Abuela Dora! Skate or die. Access denied. Denied. I don't get it. We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma. I'm sorry, Gene. I let us all down. You know, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I liked. I've been all over the phone. He's never mentioned a girl. Yes, he has. Hi. When I was in the trash, I read a very interesting e-mail, but I'm just the dunce in the corner, forbidden to speak. What e-mail? Sorry, what? What e-mail? To a girl at school. He was declaring his feelings of love for her. I guess instead of sending it, he tossed it in the trash. Hi-5, this is very important. What is her name? Her name, yes. Excellent question. It was Tina. Karen. Marge. Lindsey. Alison. Sarah or Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel right now I'm saying it out loud. Jennifer. Got to find that e-mail. Phillipa. I think I can access the trash. Annabelle. -I got it! Addie! -Yes! Yes! That's it! Addie! I knew I'd get there. "Dear Addie, you and I, we're like diamonds in the sky. "You're a shooting star I see, "a vision of ecstasy. "Shine bright like a diamond." And he used a high five, see? I guess now we know why he trashed it. Shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie. Access granted. Snap. This place is amazing. The cloud. I can't believe it. One little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. I guess we should make you a Meh before that Bot comes back? So, we're gonna... We're gonna do that now? We had a deal. Right? Yeah, okay. Right. I, guess I'll start hacking. We did it, Gene. All our dreams are coming true. I'll be an Alex favorite again, and you'll be a real Meh. Yeah! Yeah, but this all seems kind of super-fast now, though. Doesn't it? Hi-5, I just didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. Well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. So, I've been... I mean, um... Ever since we... Jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji I've ever met. And after all the adventures that we had, I'm just not sure I want all that to go away, because my feelings right now are, like, huge. I just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way I am. If it means I could stay here with you. Like, forever. Forever and ever and ever. Maybe longer than that even. Like in the fairy tales. Like, what is "? Is that a good "? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then I am all about that. I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. Right. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince. I mean, what you said was beautiful, but... Gene. You're all meh. The source code worked! Turns out I didn't need it. For the first time in my life, meh is all I feel. No! Gene! Hi. I have an appointment. I'm a little early. No problem. I can take you right now. Jailbreak! Don't do that! That freaky huge Bot has got Gene back inside the phone. What? He left looking more meh than the meh-est meh face I've ever seen. What did you say to him? It's what I didn't say. We've got to go get him. How are we gonna get in there in time before he gets deleted? I can't believe I'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw this, and I'll crack more than those knuckles. Birds do love princesses! It's not a myth. It's not a myth at all! What happened to becoming a favorite? Guess I'd rather have one real friend. And let's go get him. I can't wait to see the look on Gene's face! Look at that expression. Is that for realizing you've put all of Textopolis at risk, causing Alex to question our reliability? Hey, that's going too far, even for me. If we can delete this malfunction before his appointment, they'll discover there's nothing wrong with the phone. Any last words? Meh. Well, it's too late for that. Delete him! Wait. You delete Gene, you'll have to delete me, too. I have the same malfunction Gene does. Dad? Gosh, I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. Bot! No! Sorry, Mrs. Meh. I did not see that one coming. Smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. Really? How about you're next? I was wrong, Gene. I should've believed in you all along. What a touching daddy-son reunion moment. It reminds me of the time I deleted you both. Wait. That's this time! Delete the two malfunctions! No. How's that for an... Great. I can't reach! No! What did you do to my beautiful... My tooth. Hand, button. Jailbreak? Gene. You really are a Meh. What happened to looking out for number one? Being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. Alex's appointment! He's deleting the phone! No, no, no! Show me Alex. Are you sure you want to delete everything? Do it. Red alert! Red alert! Alex, no! Game over. Fellas, I'm afraid this is last call. Dude, Addie's here. You should go over. Every time I try, I screw it up. I don't know how to tell her how I feel. If we help Alex connect to Addie, maybe he won't delete us. I might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. But we'll only have time to send one. Maybe I should go. He has love in his eyes. Send me. Alex looks nervous, too. He's more shy than nervous. Stop! It's Gene. He's all of those things. An emoji should only be one thing. Really? The Princess! Linda! Not now, Mom! Gene, you got this. That's not me anymore. But I have to try. It's starting! No, it's ending! I'm working on it. Mom? Dad? No. I'm in. Last time I was in this cube, I screwed everything up. Gene, why do you think I came back? It's because of you. Me? It's all inside of you, Gene. Just try to bring it back. And do you. Hi-5! I don't want to wave good-bye. It's now or never, Gene. Jailbreak, now! Check out this emoji. No way. Hey, I got your text. That's one super-cool emoji. I know, right? A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings. Yeah. That's me. So, do you think you'd want to... Yes. I'd love to go to the dance with you. Hey, excuse me. We made it! I could've lost you, Peter Pinkie. Or you, Reggie Ring Finger. Even you, Tiberius Thumb. Change your mind? Yeah, maybe it's weird, but... I'm gonna hold on to it. Gene, you did it! You saved us all! Mel. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene. Gene. Gene. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us! Hey, what up, Gene? Slap me some skin. And a little porridge for the pinkie. Hey, Hi-5, save me a dance for later. As long as you're not all hands again. Back on top of the hand pile. You're not on the list. -Wait, what? -What's going on? From now on, everyone is welcome! Wait, what is all this? It's for you, Gene. Everybody, the Emoji Pop! This is jazzy. Yeah. Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! We are out of Alex's pocket, emojis. This is not a butt dial. To your cubes. -Are we up and running? -Roger that. Good, 'cause we got incoming. Looks like it's gonna be Gene. Hey, Gene, ready to try out your new cube? In three, two... Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-emoji-movie

[newsiesaskblog]

so i finally got the courage to ask this guy i liked out on a date and he laughed at me. it's been a rough couple of days since that happened. i went over it a hundred times and i still can't think of a single reason why he should have laughed. it's just rude. he could have just said no, right? someone said i was overreacting by crying, but that hurt even more. i didn't think i was overreacting. was i?

Jack: You’ve gotta’ be kiddin’ me. He laughed at ya’? After ya’ asked him out on a friggin’ date?!

Race: That ain’t right, kid. He coulda’ totally just been polite and said no, but laughin’ at ya’ just proves he’s a total jerk wad who don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as ya’. 

Davey: I swear, if this guy of yours ever shows his face around here, I’ll teach him a lesson myself. And that’s a promise!

Les: Woah, I ain’t ever seen Davey this mad before! Well, not unless ya’ count the time I used some pages from a book of his to make paper airplanes, but- oh, wait! Almost forgot... would ya’ mind tellin’ this guy to head over to the corner of 28th street? Just so we can, y’know, chat for a bit. Like pals, y’know? Real good pals. 

Romeo: This guy don’t sound like he’s worth your time, pal. It takes a real jerk for someone to act that way, an’ he proved that he’s capable of bein’ just that much of a jerk. You an’ I should go out sometime instead. I promise I’m a real romantic type, if ya’ catch my drift. 

Katherine: I’m sure they caught it just fine, Romeo. I’m sorry this guy has got you messed up so bad, sweetheart. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I can assure you his behavior was completely uncalled for. 

Spot: An’ so was that person who said it was an overreaction for ya’ to cry. Ya’ got your feelins’ hurt, of course you’re gonna’ wanna’ cry. It’s okay to feel bad an’ let your guard down a bit, especially when someone treats ya’ as crappy as this bozo did. Ya’ just gotta’ make sure to keep your chin up an’ learn to move on. 

Specs: Yeah, whoever these people ya’ mentioned were, I’d say to dump ‘em. They obviously ain’t lookin’ out for your best interests, so who wants ‘em? I wouldn’t, that’s for sure. 

Mush: If ya’ feel like talkin’ some more about this, feel free to ask us anythin’. Y’know we’re always here for ya’ guys when ya’ need it. 

Crutchie: Exactly! Ya’ can count on the newsboys to cheer ya’ up whenever you’re feelin’ down, that’s for certain. So make sure to let us know how you’re feelin’, an’ remember to smile! All of this junk will pass and soon you’ll meet someone who actually cares enough about ya’ to not to be a jerk to your face.