#protect all the people’s rights and freedoms

[makingfanfictionstosleep]

to be finally chosen

disclaimer : one shot | caleb x non-mc | mc being a 'pick me girl' | light romance

he always knew that his best friend would never look at him the same he does, especially after her memories resurface, after she remembered that she's the onychinus leader's mate.

it broke him in ways he couldnt explain.

he'd always be that person in her eyes - the best friend. nothing more, nothing less.

he hated it, but couldnt do anything about it.

how could he pop that bubble of happiness?

that smile that he yearned for, plastered stupidly on her face while she talks about sylus, all girly and giddy.

sometimes he just wants to smack that name off her lips.

he wished she'd smile like that because of him - not as her best friend, but as her lover.

so, he decided to just go on with his life, his miserable, sad life, taking one mission after another, dropping on his bed due to exhaustion, mind numb to even think about anything.

until he was promoted as the leader of the fleet - the colonel.

until he met you - who was assigned to be under his watch for protection, because you were another successful subject - one they all hoped to subdue and control.

and though it was purely his instinct, he looked after you, made sure you were around him, made sure you were safe.

but what had drawn him to you was your strength and control - unlike his best friend, who is reckless and brash to take things head on.

no, you were entirely different. you were soft, yet determined and calculated, afraid to make mistakes, afraid to cause casualties or affect others by your decisions.

that is why you decided to be compliant, for now, until you find the right people to ally with - the right people to rely on and hope that you'd get the freedom that you have always dreamed of - away from ever.

caleb watched you, observed you, analyzed you. everything felt new, yet strangely familiar, but something inside him says this is different - that he can do something differently.

maybe he is doing this because of his lingering feelings towards his best friend, maybe because he thought he failed to protect her, was gone most of the time, until she was out of his reach.

maybe he is seeing her in you.

however, little by little, you are proving him wrong.

how? those little things that you do - how you rush to his aid during missions when you were already cleared to partake in some as long as he is there, how you'd give him one of those limited edition figurines that he once yapped during mission downtime - not even saying a lot about it but you remembered, to his birthday wherein you have always made it a point that it should still be celebrated even if it's week late since he decided to go home to linkon and try to spend it with her but got disappointed because she's with sylus.

you remembered the little things from your short and brief small talks, you never pushed but you somehow remained by his side when he is down, never asking, you were just there - present for him, undivided attention - all of it on him and no one else.

you were always there with him, not only because he is keeping an eye on you, but also because you seemed to simply wanna hang out around him, even if there were plenty of chances for you to hang out with others. nope, you decided that the company of the brooding colonel is better than others.

it was weird, but somehow, it felt satisfying for him.

he'd find a cup of warm coffee on his desk during hours of investigation, or a meal tray which reminded him that he missed to eat again.

those mundane things that he used to do for his best friend - you were doing it to him, and he liked it. for the longest time, he had always been caring and looking after her, but his actions and affections were scarcely returned, as if he has always been an afterthought, a constant person who would be there to pick up the pieces if her heart is broken, or if she has problems.

but now, come to think of it, she wasn't really there when he needed someone to talk to.

slowly, he began to see you differently, completely different from his best friend, until his affections are slowly leaning towards you.

"hey," he heard you approach him, "its almost lunch time. you have to eat at some point."

there it is - the care and concern from your soft voice that he is starting to miss every time he spends his holidays and breaks at linkon, until he begins to make the vacation days at linkon shorter so that he can, maybe, spend time with you - hopefully.

"huh? caleb? weren't you supposed to be on vacation?"

he rubbed the back of neck, a little bit shy and felt a bit awkward in front of you, not knowing what to say and also because you look so damn pretty in that pink floral sundress that emphasizes your curves and figure a little too well.

"i, uh, decided to come back early," he said, trying to keep his composure and trying not to blush too hard when he caught a tiny, satisfied smile that you tried to hide, "i figured i havent been spending a lot of time here unless im on missions. im always at the base, so im curious if anything's changed in the city."

"wanna look around? i plan on wasting my time there, walking around aimlessly until i find something interesting," his heart jumped when you offered and tried not to appear too excited with it.

"i guess having a tour guide wont hurt," he gave a boyish smile at you, and he noticed how your cheeks flushed pink in an adorable way that he liked.

spending time with you was worth it. you were different when you're wearing the fleet uniform, well he is too, so this is refreshing for him.

he cant even remember the last time he felt this light, this relaxed, almost joyful and giddy. the last time was before the explosion, before he laid his life to protect his best friend, taking the brunt of it as he tried to contain it using his evol.

well, one thing was accomplished by that - doctor josephine died and he doesnt feel remorseful at all because people like her shouldnt exist. people like her, who experiments on humans, on him, his best friend... and the others who managed to lay low and stay alive got their hands on you - the second successful subject.

he understood what its like, and he was astonished at how you handled it all - how you were calm and waiting for the right timing to strike from within.

and when he found out about that - he had decided to help you, even if you dont ask for it.

those were his thoughts as he trailed behind you around the city, wandering lazily, humming in satisfaction as the sun slowly sets down.

he saw a cafe, asked if you wanted to rest there since he noticed that your steps lacked the same bounce that it had earlier - figured you were tired.

you nodded happily and went with him.

you made him laugh effortlessly, made him feel what its like to look forward again - without relying on exhausting missions and training to numb his mind.

nope.

you made him look forward to tomorrow again, hoping that he'd get another chance to see that smile again - the smile that is only for him, the smile that is because of him.

months later, you finally asked him, finally confronted him, face scared yet there's that determined look beneath that terrified beautiful face.

he'd wipe that terror from your expression, vowed that you'd never have to be afraid again.

he said yes easily, before his heart could even beat, before the clock's hand ticked towards the next second. he said yes and he'd always say yes to you.

"why would you do this for me?" you asked, both in confusion and relief, as you gently held on to his arms, looking straight in his eyes, hoping for answers to calm your heart and push your fears.

"because you're you," he answered softly, "you made me see that there's hope. you gave me a chance to do the right thing. you gave me an opportunity to feel - love again, when i thought i cant do it anymore."

and he kissed you, it swept you off your feet, made your knees tremble.

"this time, we'd crush ever," he said with a promise, gaze intense and determined, one that told you he'd never break it, not as the fleet's commander, but as your caleb, "and no one can hurt you again."

and his heart melted when you accepted it - his offer, his warmth and promise without a question, as if you're holding on to him for your dear life - as if he is the only one who can make you safe.

he knows your strength all too well, knows that you were trying to suppress it so that ever would have the notion that you're weak, make you look like a harmless sheep who survived because of luck. he found it attractive - the way you manipulated the biggest organization, bidding your time and now you are making a move to strike.

he couldn't help but kiss you at that moment.

and you let him, melted in his arms right there, as he felt something click in place - you're perfect right there, you belong in his arms.

ever slowly loosened its hold on you, until he was able to finally take you with him to linkon for the first time.

and when you met his best friend, who was passive-aggressive towards you with her subtle hints that she knew him better than you do, while you remained composed, despite the growing rivalry - as both you and her felt the aether cores within your bodies, yet you never allowed yourself to lose control - not when you have a plan being set in motion.

he was stunned and in awe of your control.

the cake topper was when his best friend told him that she saw the limited edition figurine set that he was yapping about ages ago, you just rolled your eyes at that and caleb was a bit flustered.

"weren't you looking for it? i found one at the shop near my place. wanna go there tomorrow?" she asked a bit too playful for your liking

caleb rubbed the back of his neck, a habit whenever he feels awkward or flustered, averted his eyes from her and answered, "yeah about that, i already have the complete set, two weeks after it was released."

"what? but its a limited set, the stocks aren't that many," she said in confusion, but caleb already knew that she had forgotten that she promised to get it for him yet he was already used to it.

"ummm," caleb said uncomfortably, "she actually got it for me, so no need to worry about it now."

of course, his best friend gave an attitude about it by sulking, knowing that caleb would try and make her feel better. you, on the other hand, tried not to think much about it, but somehow your confidence is wavering cause afterall, they're best friends and she's his first love so its hard to compete with that. also, you're not down for any competition. you won't stoop that low.

so you sat there, trying to keep it all together and you gasped when you felt caleb's reassuring hand on your knees, his attention on you right way when he noticed that you have that conflicted look, one that told him you're feeling uncomfortable and also worried about where you stood in his life.

"hey," he said softly, with that handsome boyish smile that you love, "you got something here," he said then leaned a bit and wiped something off the corner of your lips. you knew there was nothing there, so you figured that this is his way to let you know that his eyes are always on you.

"there's nothing there caleb," you pouted, and he poked your cheek playfully.

"i know," he shrugged, tucking loose hair strands behind your ear, "its just an excuse to make you blush."

of course it worked. it always works whenever he does something like that.

and his best friend? she was glaring at you for stealing the attention of caleb since she used to have his undivided focus and concern - all the time. but she disregarded all that. maybe its not her fault, or maybe it was. maybe she could have treated him differently, made him feel important and not an afterthought or like a toy that she can tuck away when she's not interested then play with it when bored.

but you're not here to judge. you weren't there during the times when they grew up. that bond is theirs and you will never take that away from them.

just as you will not let anyone take what you have with caleb - not a damn fucking chance.

and so the night ended, his friendship with his best friend being questioned in his head, but you were there once again, telling him that she will always have a place in his heart and that is something that can never be taken away from him.

then his breath hitched as you stepped closer to him, and held his cheeks gently, then you whispered softly, "and i hope you won't let anyone take whatever we have away from us."

then you tipped your toes to reach him and kissed him on the lips.

it took his breath away, and he melted right there, taking your face in his hands as he returned your kiss with a firm, loving one, with a hint of longing and passion, ending it with a playful nip on your lower lip.

"that will never happen," he mumbled hazily against your lips.

and with how he acted in the restaurant in front of his first love? you believed him without a second thought.

and that same night, you sealed the bond wrapped in his arms, accepting his passion and devotion for you until you both collapsed in each other's embrace, both out of breath, but full of love.

"you know that i love you right?" he said breathily, head resting on your bare chest, "i want to make that clear."

"you did," you replied in a loving tone, while you massaged his scalp tenderly, "and you have shown it clearly, made your point and made it clear as the sun."

"and caleb," you spoke again, "i love you too and i dont mind showing it to you over and over again."

he hummed against your skin, satisfied and heart full, finally felt what its like to be chosen, knowing and witnessed how many men admired you and even declared it, yet you still decided to stick with his grumpy ass.

and you? you feel loved and safe. and confident that when the day comes when you'd have to strike down ever, you wont be alone. not anymore.

[jaqobis]

man so i've been rereading tdr and i've been really noticing here that the reason egwene has such a hard time with nynaeve is because she keeps being reminded of renna

and egwene doesn't even fully realize this! nynaeve doesn't even know she's doing it!

but egwene spends this whole book on HIGH ALERT, because the last time she trusted anyone, she got carried off to the seanchan!! siuan's directive about the black ajah only feeds into her own paranoia after being deceived by liandrin...who, you know, was black ajah. it's not undeserved fear!! but egwene has a hard time looking at anyone she doesn't know (or doesn't know well) as anything but a potential threat. she spends the whole first meeting with aviendha and bain and chiad thinking about ways to protect herself or defuse the situation, when in actuality everyone's wondering why she seems so on edge and ready to attack. aviendha literally catches her embracing the source and hastily goes I WOULD NEVER HURT AN AES SEDAI BTW, FOR NO REASON, JUST FYI,

but coming back to nynaeve...the thing is, renna — and this is really emphasized in the book, where most of the torment is off-screened and told to us later in absolutely horrifying anecdotes — really abused egwene in the way of alternating punishment with "kind" and "humane" treatment. she acted like the owner of a recalcitrant animal she really cares about, or...wait for it...a particularly abusive older sister. renna is the one with the knowledge, the right answers, and egwene was her foolish damane who was learning the ropes. who, when she was punished, was hurt because she'd brought it on herself.

nynaeve, village wisdom, also acts like the older sister with the knowledge, and with the right answers. she also favors egwene with the affections of an authority figure. it's totally different, of course, because nynaeve actually loves egwene and respects her deeply. nynaeve would never hurt her. but we see moments like nynaeve giving egwene's hair a playful tug after egwene compliments her...which completely sours egwene's mood....and is also reminiscent of renna patting her hair when she "does well." both nynaeve and renna position themselves as teachers who have taught egwene lessons, which they ask her to recall! and though their behavior and treatment of her are wildly different, egwene is unable to separate her reactions to nynaeve and feelings about nynaeve with her visceral disgust at her time as a damane.

egwene doesn't WANT to be a "good girl," because with the seanchan she was forced to be a "good girl," a pliable damane, or she'd be hurt until she became compliant. but she is free now, and she's determined to keep her freedom forever, so she CANNOT be the foolish girl who trusted an adult and got captured and tortured. she CANNOT be the valuable damane who had no recourse but to learn her lessons and attempt the smallest resistances allowed to her. she won't agree with an authority figure just because they're an authority, and she won't enjoy their kindness when they agree with her!! all of these experiences have been completely poisoned for her. and, importantly, nynaeve is safe to act out with. egwene couldn't react this way at the white tower, because they have the power to withhold her education, her future as an aes sedai (which she conflates with safety because she will have power), and because they too are willing to apply physical punishment. nynaeve, at worst, will get frustrated or say something sour, but she would never meaningfully hurt egwene. and there's the part of egwene that knows that, even with all of the trauma informing every choice she makes.

tl;dr as usual rj wrote some really compelling trauma material in the wake of egwene's horrific experiences with the seanchan. i love his commitment to depicting the messier, uglier trauma responses people can have and the sympathy with which he does it

[miajooz]

hello my loves! i’d like to talk about something important going on in america because it’s not okay AT ALL. as of recently, ICE (immigration and customs enforcement) has been raiding LA in a horrific way. children are being taken, families are being separated, friends are disappearing, it’s absolutely fucking disgusting what is happening. there’s no defense for this at all, arresting people without a warrant IS AGAINST THE LAW. IT IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. this is the exact thing kamala and the harris administration warned us about, i am ashamed of all the people in my life who have voted for this sick, inhumane treatment being inflicted upon fellow people in this country. In no way is such lack of empathy and coldness against HUMAN BEINGS okay. the children, the families, it’s SICK.

recently, ICE has been targeting hard working families and innocent people. trump claims to be targeting violent criminals which is BULLSHIT. was that pregnant woman a violent criminal? what about the children being separated from their families? what about the hard working immigrants who literally helped america be what it is in the first place. if you open a history book or did research you would know that. you can’t claim to be getting rid of violent criminals WHEN YOU ARE A FELON. TRUMP WASNT PROVEN INNOCENT, HE IS A CONVICTED FELON. how can you support this shit but vote for a criminal to run our country? YOU CANNOT BE ILLEGAL ON STOLEN LAND. EVERYONE IN AMERICA IS AN IMMIGRANT BESIDES THE NATIVES. this country was stolen, and anyone who says otherwise is ignorant.

ICE has been raiding and sent to places that are densely populated with immigrants, JUST TO ARREST THEM. rounding people up who have legal documents, who are US citizens, who were born here. rounding people up because of the color of their skin is inhumane and absolutely repulsive. criminals aren’t being targeted, and have you seen the prison in el salvador? it’s HORRIFIC.

in LA, there have been a lot of protests, most of which were peaceful. california’s OWN officers were went to keep things peaceful which was partly successful. protesting is a first amendment right, but the freedom of speech has been violated ever since trump has went into office. tear gas, rubber bullets, flash bang grenades, all of that have been used on protesters. and without consulting any california law enforcement members, trump deployed 2000 state national guard members to the streets of LA. that is also ILLEGAL. THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. and to the troops who were deployed, YOU SWORE AN OATH TO SERVE THE COUNTRY AND PEOPLE AND PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION. NOT A FACIST FELON WHO IS CAUSING A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS. deploying troops without the consent of the state is federal aggression, and shouldn’t be tolerated. you guys are bitching about immigrants and saying they’re violent criminals? look at all the shit trump is doing! many veterans are absolutely devastated and it’s so sad to see. sending troops to attack american citizens is absolutely disgusting. this is the most obvious violation of the first amendment.

america’s democracy is at risk. donald trump doesn’t want a constitution, he’s a man child who bitches and uses violence when people don’t agree with him or oppose him. social media is being censored, he is targeting education, he is filtering everything—he literally DEFUNDED THE BOARD OF EDUCATION. education is the most dangerous weapon against dictators, so that checks out. if this isn’t a start to a dictatorship i don’t know what is, it’s here. these 4 years could be absolutely horrific, not to mention how he wants to ignore the precedent and “run again.” WHO WANTS THAT?

to all the people who have been affected by this, i am so, so sorry. it is repulsive what is happening, and i am sending love to all the families and individuals who have been hurt. to all the protesters who have been hurt, and to everyone this country has literally failed. to the women being denied life saving treatment in emergency rooms, to the women in my state who can’t get an abortion, it’s just horrific. to all the people who have been hurt during protests in LA, you deserve to be recognized. thank you for being a voice, you are valid and you are amazing and you deserve to be heard.

despite all of this, DO NOT STAY SILENT. that’s what he wants, he doesn’t want opposers. you are free to speak, that is the first amendment and cannot be violated. talk about it, don’t be scared to talk about it. the people are what makes a country, we shouldn’t be separated and on the brink of a civil war. it’s not right, why are we looking at people in such a selfish, ignorant way? this isn’t about being red or blue, this is our DEMOCRACY and the fact we are in a human rights crisis. this is about the fact that people are scared, communities are traumatized. people should be joining together and helping each other, do not normalize apathy. people are meant to love and join together, nobody should have this kind of power and influence on human lives in such a horrible way.

we are all people, you are all valid people. keep protesting, keep using your voice because it is POWERFUL. i love you all so unbelievably much, please, please don’t be ignorant.

Speech from Governor Newsom this addresses california!

[thelawfulchaotic]

And our history is even worse! Land stolen; whatever victims we couldn’t slaughter we drove into worse and worse areas and almost comically betrayed over and over and over and over again, breaking every treaty we made. We got Texas by deciding that our border should be different and just going ahead and invading Mexico in a horrendous and bloody war that all in all seemed to be for pure profit.

Our entire political system kept going on about freedom and our economy depended on keeping an entire race of human beings in abject slavery. This was so hard on us that our laws are still made to protect the descendants of the slave owners, because they’re still scared I guess? Welfare reform keeps failing because it would benefit too many black people.

Our law enforcement came from greedy politicians’ desire to force workers to stop rioting. We have uniformed and ranked military style police officers because someone decided that was more intimidating to people doing riots. People who literally paid in blood to make machines keep turning so the rich could get richer.

We went to court internationally to protect our right as a country to execute mentally ill children for crimes. And children, the ones who have committed crimes? They have been bought and sold by the government, taken from families and adopted out to richer ones, or if not adoptable then sent to facilities where abuse, neglect, and violation of human rights is the norm, not the exception. This is so wildly evil that for an episode of Leverage, they changed the buying and selling to be of adults, not children, because it was just over the top.

Our accepted method of justice is to inflict torture and rape on people convicted of crimes. We do it to a higher rate of people than anyone in the world. Even openly despotic countries don’t lock people up the way we do. And we dare to blame it on the criminal? We don’t protect our workers, they starve, they turn to drugs to escape their abject poverty — this is a story that has repeated over and over in our history, except now we have made drugs illegal and denied them that escape, unless they want to go in the rape and torture cage. We spend more money on a person’s rape and torture cage than we ever would spend on their medical care or education.

An immortal person would look at today’s riots and 2020’s riots and at workers in the 1840s brutally repressed (and the insinuation in the papers that these must be foreign elements, immigrants doing the rioting) and bread riots in the 1700s with the rioters sent to workhouses, and they would laugh at the suggestion that anything has changed.

You know the thing about having basic human empathy, respect for other cultures, and caring about the environment as an American it makes you fucking hate your government as you listen and realize the damage your country has done to everyone. “You American hating leftist.” Dawg we are like factually the greatest evil on earth right now. If you wrote an evil empire with America’s current foreign and domestic policy in fiction it’d be called grimdark and ridiculous.

[ijustwanttobegolden]

𝔹𝕖𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕕 𝔻𝕦𝕥𝕪

Bodyguard chan!

Christopher Chan is your most recent assigned bodyguard up to date (not only because he is the best of the best but because the others found it hard to handle your spoiled ass, unable to keep up with your impulsiveness and crazy adventures which put the job to the extreme) chan however, sticks around. Professional and fully capable of handling the intensity of you - In control when it came to protecting you but not in control of falling for you. Chan is in LOVE. When you start going on forcing yourself on fake dates with the newest heart throb on social media - for image and press purposes - you discover chan is more overly protective then he should be but without a doubt there is something that lingers between you both that can't be ignored.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Warnings: mild language. mentions of threat. Feelings of jealousy. Mature content applied.

(I can't get the keep reading link to work, don't hate me, it is a long fic, so sorry guys!!!)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You drove him crazy from the moment he started the job, a job he lived and breathed (the long hours made that quote quite literal) but he was highly skilled and top of his game in this expertise. It was a job that he was overly experienced in and was classed as the best in the industry so how could he not live and breathe it when he was king and making big bucks. He was trusted to work with some of the most high up people around the globe and so this job was without a doubt moulded for him, your managers insisted. Not only did you need a bodyguard but someone to fully take charge and discipline you, the others were WEAK. That's how you drove him crazy. Not only were you an impulsive rising star, always pushing boundaries, breaking rules and protocols (sometimes your way of throwing mini tantrums in protest - the whole - I just want more freedom thing) but you were constantly teasing and testing on purpose. just for fun. It was fun stressing 'channie' out. Teasing him was so difficult but also so easy at the same time, although he was a tough one to crack, so dedicating, so professional, so strict. The man had so much patience that it was almost you that was going crazy but through all that stubbornness of his, you drove him absolutely INSANE. It just wasn't fair in the slightest, you made his job difficult. You were gorgeous.. daring.. and you were so testing that it almost became a turn on for him. Chan failed so many times to not let his mind wander to inappropriate thoughts. The thing is with chan, he wasn't stupid. He knew you were trying to push his buttons on purpose and as much as it was annoying, it was also low key amusing and again very very sexy.

As much as you swore to hate every single bodyguard you had, like a step parent and child that never got on. There was something about chan that you warmed up to. The way he would smell and dress for a start. Always smartly dressed in all the top designer suits.. as it states in his exceptional and lengthy reseme and I'm sure that's not the only thing that's lengthy with how impressive he is.. it states that he used to be a model for Fendi. You even admired how he looked in his baggy hoodies for more casual events. Thick luxurious material, always Designer and of course a splash of his lingering godly Versace spray. You know the details of his hoodie right down to the very last stitch from the time he draped that heavenly thing over your shivering frame as you made your exit from the club and into the cold night. The warmth and the smell was heaven sent but not nearly as good as the strong sclupted arms that wrapped around you protectively, guiding you and shielding you and keeping you safe. The pap photos were fire. Not only did you look good in Chan's oversized hoodie but you looked really good with chan himself. Chan had to keep himself from thinking it too when he saw the photos online, his cheeks slightly heated as he read through comments from your fans shipping you together.

'does anyone else think y/n and her bodyguard look so cute together?'

'omg I am sooooo writing a fanfic on this'

'omg I used to ship y/n with... but now I lowkey ship her with her bodyguard'

'Does anyone know the name of y/ns body guard? He's so fit'

'look how close they are! He gave her his hoodie!!! that's not what bodyguards do!'

'hmmm, thats what boyfriends do'

'secretly dating definitely'

'they are so hot'

'definitely fucking'

'they should just get married already... but wait! maybe they are...'

'new power couple of 2025'

Oh the hoodie Definitely did something . Then there were other times when the man would just simply do his job properly, unlike the others. He was firm. Quick with his eyes. Constantly scanning for any threats or danger while guiding you effortlessly through the crowds. Not once were you ever pushed or pulled or touched by anyone. With chan, you were invincible. Was it the way his hand would linger a little bit longer on your lower back or how sometimes his arms would naturally snake around your waist while guiding you through crowds and events. There were many times he would make you melt by taking you by surprise, making stops on the way back to the hotel, be it for ice cream or coffee when you could really do with it most. Strangely it's like he knows, like he could read you all over and that's the only ever time he would bend the rules slightly because unplanned stops in local areas was breaking protocol. But as much as you were developing a soft spot for your bodyguard chan, he was also developing a soft spot for you too.

You made each other feel seen. Gave each other a bit more freedom in your tight-knit situation of fame and money. work hard play ha... Work even harder. You added some playfulness and banter to your more serious everyday working world and it was good to find a little bit of something again... Whatever it was... But real life would keep taking over. Just when you thought you snapped him.

'take off my heels'

'sneak me out to the beach'

'if you're gonna stand outside my bathroom all night you might as well get in here and join me in the bath chan'

He clicks back into super strict professional mode and reality kicks in. Nothing but a lonely star having to be watched like a child at all times because she's constantly 'in danger' though there were so many close situations with paps, stalkers and muggers. Constantly followed by a bodyguard is a bit dramatic but after nearly getting kidnapped not once but twice, threatened and harassed maybe it is not that dramatic after all. So many... Creeps. Chan is extremely strict on those guys and that's why you hadn't felt any more safer. Although annoying like a lingering fly sometimes, he was only doing his job. That man is your guardian angel - In a really scrumptious hoodie.

Your thoughts had got the best of you one evening. It was another bubble bath pamper sesh and you had just convinced chan with your cutest pout and fluttering lashes to run the bath for you and the spoiled princess that you are, he even put the oils in that you liked without even any instruction.

"Bath is ready for you, princess"

A new teasing nickname. It stuck. Now that's all he calls you.

"okay, I'm only ever gonna ask you this one last time.. care to join me?" Your eyes narrowed in on him. The tone. Was you teasing? Mocking? Frustrated, bored? Chan only guessed you were just plainly asking. Not really expecting any specific answer but you slightly hoped he would end the misery of him towering around the door and suddenly drop his pants and get naked just for the laughs. Maybe then you would perk up from this recurring nightmare of a routine.

But nothing. Strict. boring.

A heavily depressed sigh escaped your lips as you padded slowly past the dark tower of a man to enter the marbled bathroom. You needed some excitement in your life, some fun, a flirt! Maybe a... Date?

It pains you to think about it actually. Dating is not fun when you are famous, you actually hate it but if chan wasn't willing to break the rules and spontaneously skinny dip into the bath tub with you then a little date here and there to take your mind off these boring nights wouldn't hurt.

"channie! Get you get me my phone? Oh and bring some wine!"

Your voice echoing in the bathroom made the demand more intimidating. You hated how you sounded sometimes but being a demanding spoiled princess was a facade you couldn't let down now. Chan saw past it though and it never phased him in the slightest and if anything.. He grew rather fond of the whole spoilt princess thing and he was happily at your service.

"What do you say princess?" his deep voice muffled back through the door.

Rolling your eyes pretending to be annoyed wasn't working with your hand over your mouth trying to stifle down a giggle.

You refused to say it, until chan bursted in. No warning this time as he usually would but he respectfully kept his deep brown eyes on yours, never looking down, not a peep. Professional. Yawn.

The bubbles covered you anyway and you held your delicate hand out for the items he wasted no time in fetching. He stood still, eyebrows raised. Waiting for you to say It. You shook your head with a teasing smile.

"don't be stubborn, where are your manners" he warned. He looked so fine when he told you off.

"please"

He shook his head. You were honestly going to be the death of him.

Before he could break eye contact, wanting to admire how beautiful and spoilt you looked in your big luxurious bathtub. Your eyes glistening like the sparkling white wine in your hand, your glossed lips taking careful cherished sips and your body glowing from your shimmering bath oil and how your hair trailed down effortlessly, tips wet at the ends as they moulded into the water like you were a real life mermaid, so stunning, he quickly stepped out to change back into his solid form, standing on guard just outside the bathroom door, his heart pounding.

You rolled your pretty eyes once again as he left, returning your attention back onto the mission - sip and scroll in the suds.

For months now your publicist has been keeping on about setting you up on a date. It's important for image apparently, to boost followings and popularity and all that bullcrap. Stubborn as you were though, you refused. Until now unfortunately. But if you were going to date, the least you could do was actually pick the person, that's something you guess. Your scrolling on Instagram and tik Tok got distracted by funny animal videos and K-pop dance routines until eventually a few videos caught your interest, trending. 'Ohhh he's handsome' you beamed with bright eyes. You face lighting up with the screen. This guy was trending from his recent starring role in this new popular action movie and he was EVERYWHERE. Perfect! Your publicist would approve. Without no hesitation you tap tap tapped straight onto her contact. Uncertainty washed over for you a moment but before you knew it, you were already calling her.

...

As handsome as the trending star was... asshole. Absolute asshole.

You sat quietly judging. You were currently at a meeting in some sort of private coffee bar. Both your publicist chatting and discussing agreements as you and him both sat opposite each other, beside them. Basically before you start going on any dates and officially go public, a contract and agreement must be made with both parties, fun right?

It's like a play date, both you and him are the shy awkward children and your publicists are the yapping mothers. Yapping about all the drama and future weddings but of course in the famous world. You started to feel uneasy. You searched for the comfort of his dark chocolate eyes, even knowing they weren't there and letting your heart ache in disappointment. It was very rare he had time off but out of all the shifts, why did he have to be off for this one. The others who covered him just weren't the same. You focused on 'boring bill' his eyes half shut looking like he was about to fall asleep on the spot, still alert nonetheless but no appearance of enthusiasm or strength or comfort whatsoever. Chan however somehow became your anchor. He made you feel grounded, safe and constantly reassured. He was primal, picking up changes in your body language instantly and noticing shifts in your patterns and emotions like he knew you from the inside out, which is why he was good in situations like this. All you needed was to give him that one look, he knows exactly which one. that one look for him to get you out of any situation. His dark chocolate brown eyes would never leave yours unlike half shut boring bills. Chan's attention of course flickers back and forth but only to continuously scan the perimeter and the people in it for any potential threats and dangers and then his prime focus would be solely on you. In anxiety riddled situations, it's his eyes you would look for, they brought you that reassurance and comfort and if you needed to stare, he would let you bore your eyes into his own, comfort is what he would give you. That's exactly what you needed right now, you winced at the sight of him not being there and you focused back on the handsome asshole in front of you who apparently goes by the name of SAN. You got bored when you dabbled into a bit of conversation at the beginning of the meeting (good start) but you remember him mentioning that he dabbled in some singing in a K-pop group before venturing off to acting in TV shows and films. Either way he was becoming super famous and he's hot and the dates will be fun so who cares right? Though again the pouting princess was slowly questioning her choices.

...

A little black mini dress, a go-to staple when you have an intimate date at a jazz club right? You had never questioned yourself like this before, you thought getting dressed up for a date would be fun, a bit stressful but fun, like they made it look in the movies. Except it wasn't fun like the movies, you didn't have any of your 'girlfriends' around you to help pick out clothes and have girly talks to hype you up about the date itself. It was boring, a thing you were trying to avoid these past few nights. You sighed heavily, the most stressful sigh to ever escape your lips, and there's been a lot! Must have been loud when there was a quiet knock on the door.

"y/n, princess?"

Chan.

If your heart could smile, it was smiling right now. You had missed him so much the last three days since the meeting. Annoying as he was sometimes, something lately made you grateful to have him around.

"I'm okay! just trying to pick my outfit."

"and I'm sad..." You accidentally mumbled.

Eyes wide and hands covering your traitor of a mouth, your heart begins thundering in your chest when he responds "Can I help?"

You looked around at the bomb of clothes that had exploded in your walk-in closet, grabbing an oversized shirt quickly to cover up. A hesitant reply. "Ummm maybe, come in"

A strong smell of something familiar.. Versace? Why was it so strong when chan hadn't even entered the room yet. You hugged over your body at the shirt, your movements becoming more vigorous as you recognized the fabric and looked down discovering you had thrown on Chan's white dress shirt from an event a few months back. A tragic funny story where you were currently about to go out onto the red carpet to be interviewed when someone 'accidently' ran into you with a glass of red wine, spilling it and staining it all down your beautiful white evening dress. Mortified there was no way you were going to step foot in front of cameras to be interviewed. Your publicist being the witch that she is kept insisting saying the 'show must go on' and 'it would be funny' 'a funny story to tell' 'you would be trending! Making headlines!' ooohhh no. No. You would be humiliated. Turned Into a meme. It would embarrass you and haunt you for the rest of your career but you had no choice.. camera crews were ushering you, interviewers howling for you, fans in desperate need of your content. Your publicist practically held you by a lead. All you gave him was that one look, though this time with glistening tears, tears that made his heart ache and so chan thought of a quick immediate plan. All it took was that look. Next thing you know you were being quickly guided behind some paneling for the backdrop.

"What are you doing?' you gasped. Tears still glistening and threatening to spill.

"Don't let those tears fall and ruin your pretty make up, keep your head up. I've got you" he spoke firmly.

As he was speaking, he rushed to rip his smart button up blazer away from his body, revealing his pristine white shirt.

"oversized shirts paired with heels are still in fashion right?" He questioned quickly with a breathy chuckle. Not like you had a choice.

"umm yeah, I could make it work..." You hesitated, looking him up and down questionably. Was he about to strip?.

"princess, you could pull off anything"

And that was the first ever time he called you princess. The air became hot while your heart heaved in your chest but it was the compliment that took you back the most.

"take off your dress"

The heat of the moment, the commands. Really got your heart racing. You saw him in a different light that day.. it was new, exciting, you were impressed with how dedicated he was to his job, to you. But it was a just his job, right?

You nervously tugged at the zipper of your dress, it was harder to concentrate on yourself when your bodyguard was trailing his hands down his chest, undoing one shirt button at a time. You knew he had a good build, his chiseled biceps and defined abs always poked through his tight fitted clothing but to see him undressing, showing his flesh. That was something you let your curiosity get the best of. Your eyes wandered shamelessly while you aimlessly reached for your zipper, losing grip of it now and again from how nervous you were. This whole situation was just too overwhelming.

Finally he was free of his shirt and oh what a sight. His firm chest was with eyesight from how much taller he was then you, his six pack flexing with every movement. His skin so perfectly soft and buff looking. That mixed with his dark hair, dark eyes and plump red lips. He was beautiful.

"concentrate princess, here let me help"

As if you weren't already flustered enough, chan's large hands grip around your waist to pull you closer, so close that you could feel the warmth of his breath cascading over the skin of your neck. You keep your eyes locked on his now and his hands smooth up the small of your back to latch onto the pesky zipper you were desperately fighting with a few seconds ago.

Effortlessly.

Zip.

Your breathing became quick and desperate as the rush of letting the dress fall and changing into chans shirt had started but he was already there, shirt held out for you to slip your arms into and he respectfully assisted you with doing the buttons up quickly getting you covered before covering himself back up with his blazer.

You flashed him a grateful smile before reaching for your dress quickly to rip away a sparkly chain that was attached to your white dress to now wrap it around your waist to give the shirt some style and shape, matching it with your sparkly heels and jewelry as if it was meant to be your outfit this whole time. It's like you just left the LV store.

'wow.. told you could pull off anything" Chan spoke impressed as he scanned the final look. 'hand on my heart, you look amazing"

"couldn't have done it without you!" You sighed in relief.

"thank you channie"

And with that you jumped up quickly to hug him. Was it allowed to hug your bodyguards? You weren't really sure but it was quick, in the moment and it felt good.

Like you moments ago. Chan was also taken back. And not just by the new nickname you suddenly gave him which made his heart melt but by the little trusting hug you gave him. Little did you know it meant the world to him. It was quick but nice, warm and comforting with your sweet smelling perfume that he had grown to love, lingering a bit longer than usual. It was heaven.

That little moment behind the backdrop that evening was nothing but it was something.

We now conclude the story of how you ended up with chans shirt. Which you... kept? So how are you going to explain this to him when he walks in and sees you wearing it?

You panic and jump up to mindlessly start flicking through clothes as you hear him enter the room. You dare to look at him but you don't have to know he's already questioning not only the pile of clothes surrounding you on the floor but the item of clothing you are currently wearing. He recognizes it instantly. You can't see the knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips but it's there and he warms up to the memory that evening. He breaks the silence, taking you out of your awkward misery, he can feel your tension but he converts it instantly. Hes so good at that.

"can still pull it off, I forgot how good you look in my shirt"

You melt into comfort and spin around to finally meet his gaze. A wave of relief washing over you.

"you don't think it's weird that I still have it? Or even wearing it? Which just so you are aware I never actually wear this! It's just been stuffed away since that evening and'

Chan steps closer, he doesn't need to tell you to stop blurting out pointless explanations, you shut up instantly. You take in his eyes, questioning what he's thinking, he was very hard to read.

"I think you should wear it tonight for your date but wouldn't that be like marking my territory?"

"excuse me chan?" You gasped. You couldn't tell if he was trying to make a half hearted joke or if he was being deadly serious. "Isn't that a bit unprofessional for you to say? You may be my bodyguard but you don't own me, what are you trying to say?' a more teasing tone failed you and you were quick to become questionable and defensive.

For the first time ever, a sheer look of panic was evident in his face.

"Forgive me princess, I mean.. y/n, that came out wrong"

You didn't overthink it, you were quick to drop it and you nodded, shrugging it off.

"someone a bit sour that they have to work tonight? I hear that bodyguards hate being on date night duty" you teased, continuing to search for the perfect black little mini dress.

"not really, where did you get that information from?"

"boring bill"

Chan fell through and busted out with laughter. It's the nickname that was more funny, you really were a nightmare in this line of work. He did back you up on that one though, bill was very boring and lazy on the job.

"to a certain extent, he's not wrong, some dislike it because it means more work. There's more risks, more intensity from paps. Then it's also profiling the actual person who you are dating and being hyper aware of intentions and outcomes and so on"

Funny, you were bored and interested in his explanation at the same time, your eyebrows rising in curiosity and surprise.. it was the way he talked about protocols and all the important stuff that got you hooked. He was knowledgeable, so professional and good at what he does, it just made him all the more attractive.

"so does this mean you will be 'profiling' my date tonight? What are you? some sort of FBI agent?" You giggled teasingly. You naturally reached for his dark locks to ruffle through them playfully. An action he didn't react to. He stayed firm. Laughing with you and then serious the next. It's like he would slip from his role only to realize and flip firmly back, back to bodyguard mode. It sucked.

"not that intensely no but one bad vibe from him and it's over" he pressed, shifting his stance so that his posture was fixed straight.

"well I better cleanse him before we enter the jazz bar, this man is a total stuck up asshole"

After those words you send chan a wink, grabbing the first dress you tried on (it's always the first dress) and fluttering your way around the clothes to change into the bathroom, leaving him dumbfounded.

If you really meant what you said then chan was in for a really tough night. Not only does it pains him for you to be forced into dating but to be dating a stuck up asshole, this isn't right. It's not what you really want, so why were you doing this. The thought of you dating in general just kills him, for reasons he's unsure of but to be forcing yourself to fake date, this was something else.

So far.. so goo... not so good...

Your mini black dress alone was enough for chan to willingly fight off a thousand men with his bare hands. You looked incredibly sexy, there was no doubt that men were going to approach you and no doubt that chan was going to keep you safe as always... But tonight he felt different and if it came to it, he would really hurt someone if he had to.

He hated how he was feeling right now, as gorgeous and as sexy as you looked, a pang of jealousy twitched in his chest. He always loved how you looked, how you dressed for yourself always, so confident and beautiful and able to get anyone you wanted. Knowing the picky princess that you are, he knows you wouldn't settle for anything less, so why fake date an asshole? Why waste all this beauty on him. Chan was not happy in the slightest.

He bit his tongue all the way to the jazz club and when you got there, his usual professional routine took place but in a more intense way than usual. Firmly he held the car door open for you after scanning the surroundings in great detail and planning a safe entry into the building. His dark eyes are quick and focused but more darker than usual. He naturally holds his large pale hand out for you, he always assists you getting out of the car, carefully and securely always. As he holds out his hand the figure he recently just warned to stay back jumps in and a hand flicks out in replacement of his suddenly. Your date.

Still in the car and just stepping out, you take the hand and a wave of worry washes over you when you don't feel the warm comforting hand that is chans. Chan's hand is a lot larger than yours and they fit together as snug as a glove, warm and caressing. Not too hard of a grip but enough to ground you, support you, make you feel safe. You know every little detail, this was not his hand. It was cold, fingers icy and slim and there were no little squeezes which confirmed it was not chans. Channie always gave you three little squeezes, a little code you both had to reassure you that everything is okay. Your brows knitted together in concern but you weren't scared, there was no way chan would let a stranger get this close to you. It must have been...

"San!" You squeaked surprised as you fully stepped out. A face reveal that was most appealing with his sharp airbrushed features. He was breathtaking, though as handsome as he was your eyes darted to chan for reassurance, his sparkling dark eyes, so intense but still comforting made you melt back into ease. He gave you a nod of approval, a go ahead to walk with San and into the restaurant, You had been close to your assigned bodyguard for so long now it's like you both magically developed telepathic skills. That's not the only confirmation you wanted though, your eyes immediately darted from San to to chan because chan is the only person you want to see. He is the most beautiful and handsome man to ever exist in your world and it dreads you to think no San or any date for that matter will ever compare to him.

It wasn't just the looks, it was how he made you feel but he was your bodyguard and he was just doing his job, you had to pinch yourself so many times to stop being so delulu over it.

You take a deep breath, beginning to strut towards the jazz bar. You were nervous. But for all the wrong reasons. Already paps were flooding your path, adding to the sickness in the pit of your stomach. Forcing a date was a terrible idea, you wouldn't be able to handle the reality of a real one so why put yourself through a fake one. It was getting all a bit too much, too fast, already. Your steps are becoming slightly unsteady. San already failed the vibe check. Ignoring your current state and tugging you along like a little rag doll while chan did everything he could to ease the paps of on your side.

"slow it down" he warned under his breath. Loud enough for San to hear but not enough for the paps to start catching a headline. That's all you needed 'bodyguards snaps at movie star San, in pap brawl'

San actually slowed surprisingly, giving it all the fake 'baby, Are you okay? Take your time, I've got you'

Baby? Ew. Honey this is only the first date. What did chan just say? Slow down? Ummm yeah.

Anything to make his image look good and then there it was.. a big 'slap in the face' a big reminder that this was all that it was for, for show.

All it took was for you to give him that look. And you know who I'm talking about and you know what look. But you stood your ground. You came here for fun and fun was what you were going to have. So stubborn. you were not going to let this fake dating back fire on you.

You perked up, took a breath and straightened your dress smiling and posing for the paps.

"I'm all good, let's go in!" You smiled at san, grabbing his ridiculous cold hand. Not a red flag this time but an ick.

Chan studied you carefully, his eyes flickering with concern. Again he noticed every little detail in you, every little tone and shift. He was not buying this sudden enthusiasm but he held his stance, kept focused, he still needed to make sure all the other surroundings were safe.

The atmosphere was warm, seductive, romantic. You got seated in a luxury padded booth. Materials all velvet and rustic, soft glows from candlesticks presented neatly on the table, warm lighting cascades around the room from vintage lamps and thrifty lampshades. Soft jazz playing in the background took the edge of, the pretty piano dominant in the sounds. The smell of Michelin star foods wafted in the air and of course how could you miss the notes of sparkling champagne, expensive of course. The place was very private, only a few couples seated here and there, in the small, dimly lit bar. It was an intimate vibe. You wish you could have more nights like this more often... But with people you actually know and love...like your truly missed best friends who were also famous and busy or... You searched the room eyes landing on channie.

You blinked out of thought quickly, your eyes focusing back onto the movies star in front of you who was urging you hurry and pick a cocktail.

"what's the rush' you lightly giggled but your laughter fades when you quickly notice how impatient he is.

From a distance, chan watches you both closely, eyes squinted harshly and he shifts uncomfortably when he reads the body language. He's watched you so many times on an evening out to know you're such a cocktail girlie and your favourite is and always will be strawberry daqari. Only frozen though. God forbid anyone gives you one that isn't frozen. You are also very adventurous so if anyone was to offer you one, he knows you would say...

"surprise me"

San snaps up from the menu, a surprised expression on his face.

"what?"

You send him a cheeky smirk, eyes glistening "I can't decide so surprise me.

He shakes his head in defeat amused none the less. "I'm not going to do that princess. I hardly know what you like... But I'm sure that will all change very soon" he flirted, leaning over the table.

Bad timing to start sipping water. You almost choked. You start to cough in surprise at the cocky reply but not the nickname in particular.

Chan was not impressed. His knuckles whitening without even realizing. He was tense. Also the nickname? How dare he, chan couldn't help but slightly feel slightly aggressive towards this man, that was chan's nickname for you and only he gets to call you it.

"seriously though, I wouldn't know where to start, I don't want to risk getting something too sour or too sweet, something you aren't going to like.

"well I like something..."

"fruity"

You look up at chan who cut you off unexpectedly.

"you like something fruity" chan confirmed.

He stood confident, fisted hands now linked together presentably in front of him. He looked smart, strong, and professional. As always. You couldn't help but stare a little while longer, forgetting about the date in front of you. Warmth filling your chest, that same fluttering heartbeat when he helped you during the red wine on white dress situation.

"he's right" you smile knowingly. Your heart is still melting. Does he really notice these things?

"strawberry daqari, to be precise" he winks.

Yes he really does. You blush uncontrollably. Luckily your make up is a little more on the heavier side tonight. You can feel him concentrating on you, questioning every reaction though you were all over the place tonight, it was so hard to read you it almost scared him.

As the night drew on, things started getting more intense, you became slightly intoxicated with each passing minute. San got closer and things got a little more touchy and flirty. It was protocol for chan to keep distance. Keep a close eye but not to interrupt. If there was no sign of harassment, out of line inappropriate behavior or suspicious activity then The bodyguard has no right to interfere and needs to give more space. Unfortunately for chan you seemed to be enjoying the night, getting cozy with your date and the same on Sans end, despite being a douche. The alcohol was definitely playing a part in this, there's gotta be a loop hole to this surely because this was killing chan and following protocol of respecting space on a date night was getting seemingly harder to do. He was sweating now, tense. Every touch on your bare leg, every whisper in your ear. Chan was ready to rip the guy away from you but why? If he wasn't being a threat then why? The way your eyes lit up, the way you laughed, the way you bit your bottom lip as you focused on this guys annoying talkative lips that chan so desperately wanted to punch. It was killing him. What was it that made him feel like this.

First it was just a first date. Then there was a second. Then a third. Chan prayed there wouldn't be a fourth.

It was now becoming a regular. As much as chan hated red carpet events, that is what he would rather be doing with you right now. Anything but these painful dates. He was starting to get tired, not of you but the job, it was wearing thin on him and he needed a break, to take some time off but he refused. He even gave up his designated days off during shift patterns because he couldn't stand the thought of not being on watch during a date and something went wrong. He needed to be there for you. To protect you. To make sure you were okay. He wouldn't forgive himself if something were to happen, plus he just wanted to be close to you.

Unluckily for chan there was a fourth date but the fourth date was a disaster. No alcohol involved this time and you felt off . Bored, tired, not feeling it at ALL. San started becoming a bit too needy, a bit too touchy a bit too possessive and controlling too quickly and it drained you. You were miserable. Just wanting time with your friends, to have fun, be happy and yes, maybe in love! True love. Today was the only day you were close to that...

"where are we stopping? Wait are we even supposed to stop? Channie are you secretly kidnapping me? Has this been your plan all this time? I mean I know you were smart and cunning but this..." You trailed off.

Your head pressed against the tinted window of the car, you began steaming it up with your breath. It would be a waste of time winding the window down because channie would be right on your case about sticking your head out the window and the dangers of it but you were like an excited child.

Your view was of a large building, painted with bright pinks and blues as if a unicorn vomited all over it. You've made many ice cream stops in the past (breaking protocol of course) but this.. This ice cream shop was on another level..Like charlie and the chocolate factory level. You recognized it instantly. It was trending all over Tik Tok and you had been gushing about it ever since you saw it. You even recommended it as a date to San but anything to damper you down, said no. Chan wasn't going to have any of it, he wanted to make you, the princess happy. He knew how much you loved ice cream and wanted to go to this place, so he was going to do anything he could to make it happen and now here you both were.

"no way! Channie! Are you serious!" You jumped but your face suddenly dropped...

"I have an interview booked in hour..."

"I got you covered, it's fine princess"

The assisting comforting obligated hand hold as you dipped out of the car sent a wave over your body, it felt better than ever before. Your hands glued together a little bit tighter this time and strangely you naturally didn't let go, it's like neither of you wanted to. Chan had to at some point surely? But he didn't and something suddenly sparked between the two of you. You both paused, not really sure as to what was going on right now, stuck in your own bubble. Chans deep gaze captivated your own for a moment, both searching trying to find your telepathic skills until you result in mirroring reassuring smiles. Then...

1

2

3

Squeezes of the hand.

Both of you were in a moment of bliss right now, jolts of electricity running through you. Whatever was happening right now felt so out of professionalism a bit daring if you will, crossing some sort of rules and boundaries but neither of you cared in that moment. It just felt right.

Okay so Hand in hand with your bodyguard in the most tik tok famous ice cream shop was not on your cards today but you weren't complaining. It was sweeter than the strawberry sauce you watched the cashier pour all over your ice cream. You had never seen a side of chan like this before and it was refreshing. You both felt free for a moment, normal like any casual couple in this ice cream parlour. You blended right in, so careless and free with smile covered faces. You were shocked at this bold move of chans. This was breaking rules, this was out of duty standards, this was Beyond duty in fact. You wanted to ask so many questions but you didn't want to ruin this moment the moment of him now wiping strawberry sauce from your chin with his thumb and sipping up the sweetness. He looked less like a bodyguard and more like boyfriend material right now. You were melting like the ice cream.

You didn't want to seem phased and as much as you were lost in your own dreamy delulu world with your bodyguard chan right now, you couldn't help but notice some young fans in the corner of our eyes snapping pictures.

"I know, it's okay... I'm just taking you to the ice cream shop which you demanded to take you too right?"

You smile warmly but fear creeps in.

"Chan... My publicist would kill me, I'm supposed to be dating San and you are breaking the rules... I know you are my bodyguard but you've seen the comments online, there's already rumors that we are secretly married and all that crazy shit. my fans ship us too much. I don't want us getting in trouble" tears prick your eyes and unexpectedly chan pulls you into him before saying something that hits you like a ton of bricks.

"not being able to get ice cream and forced fake dates with ex K-pop members... You are not a prisoner y/n"

Tears fall now. Let's hope the pictures that get posted hints you were emotional because maybe your time of the month and you just needed ice cream. Makes sense.

But no.

After your emotional roller coaster of breaking rules, eating the most amazing ice cream and realizing you have a thing for your body guard. You finally get back from the interview (which shockingly were all questions about you and San) and see said posts.

To your surprise no crying photos! They must have been nice fans. Your eyes well up once again. The photos were of you, happy , smiling. Chan towering behind you protectively as always but more relaxed than normal. He looked cute, like he was in boyfriend mode. One made you laugh where he's leaning his chin on top of your head browsing the menus and another of him wiping away the strawberry sauce, your eyes fixated on his sweet red lips.

Comments pulled at your hearts strings. You really did have the best fans.

'look how happy they both look'

'i shipped them from the start. I called it'

'wait is this a date?'

'a real date for sure, her and San are definitely secret enemies and are just doing a publicity stunt'

'from bodyguard duty to boyfriend duty'

'guys I was actually there at the ice cream shop and let me tell you when I say they have a thing'

'omg omg omg! I was there too and 'y/n' got upset about something and he was so supportive! Like he couldn't hold her tight enough, this man loves her'

'this is giving me forbidden love vibes... Someone write a fan fic!'

'i saw them holding hands outside and there was so much chemistry, girl please explain'

You couldn't get over some of the comments. You questioned your feelings for chan before and you sensed something towards you too but you thought you were just being delusional and that chan was just being extra caring and protecting because of his job but maybe you was right about something all along and was it really that obvious?

He had seen the posts too. Realization hitting chan like a tone of bricks. Those intense feelings, it all made sense now. How could he not notice? All the banter, all of the admiring of your outfits, being turned on by your witty remarks as flirtatious proposals, the late nights of letting you stay out at clubs and keeping your mischievous ass safe. The eye contact and secret code hand squeezes, how could he not notice he was falling for you. but he had to stay professional, he would lose his job, he would lose access to you, he had to somehow stay in control of this. You now just made his job even more difficult, without even trying this time.

5th date.

This didn't get any easier for chan. Especially now there was knowing tension but things were a lot worse... You and chan weren't the only ones who saw the posts. Getting ready for his fifth date tonight, San made it his mission to make the night as miserable as possible for your beloved bodyguard. Thinking it wouldn't be so bad seeming you were out with friends on a group date this time, chan was unaware of Sans brutal plan to be all over you, reminding him of their positions. Though little did San know you weren't really feeling it anymore and things could go sideways very quickly. You only had to give one look.

Chan couldn't stand the sight. Usually with your groups of friends, you were GLOWING. Your gorgeous smile beaming, energy vibrant and contagious, lighting up the room. You still looked gorgeous regardless, your hair and make up always on point, the perfect outfit hugging your curves like a goddess, but the glowing goddess herself just wasn't present. It was him. Draining you. Chan couldn't take it. His sight narrowed on the douche bag darkly, watching closely for any wrong moves. Any wrong moves and he'd be a gonner.

You refused to let any discomfort show, although it was a struggle. You couldn't let chan see the misery in you, the defeat of fake dating, you wanted to proof that you weren't a prisoner, plus you didn't want to get him into trouble. You wanted him to continue being your bodyguard, it was better then nothing. You just accepted you would never be truly happy.

At this point chan had already given in. He couldn't bare watching you like this, if he had to break protocol he would. He hated how stubborn you were, fighting through all of Sans inappropriate comments, touches and nasty shut downs when trying to vibe and chat with your friends.

His fists clenched, jaw tightening. Every sneaky snare from San made his blood boil. He knew exactly what he was doing. All of a sudden a warm touch caught him off guard, stopping him from flipping at the last second.

"hey"

The small soft sound was y/f/n voice. Her touch was almost comforting but his mind wouldn't rest though his fists stopped clenching and he softness his stance.

"everything okay?" He questions deeply, his eyes never leaving you at the rounded booth table.

"I was going to ask you the same thing? I know you are on duty right now but you are also human and I can see you are not okay" she innocently explained, her eyes burning into his side profile.

"of course" he lied, staying firm and professional.

The girl rolled her eyes, typical men hiding their true feelings. "Chan... I've seen the posts, not just the recent ones either and I've seen you both when you've been on duty too, all of the nights out we've rebelliously had, the way you watch her, more than just her bodyguard. Lending her your hoodies, holding her hand.. I wish my bodyguard was more like you... But he's just not in love with me I guess..." She snickered knowingly nudging him lightly.

His dark eyes almost peel from you for a split second . Was it really that obvious.

"Even now, look at you... Ready to pounce to the rescue at any given moment. you have feelings for her chan which you can't ignore.. so Don't fight it. Look at her, she's miserable. Go save your princess"

He shook his head, catching your eye now, your face repulsed by whatever San was drunkenly whispering.

What were him and your friend talking about? You focus in on them in the distance.

"I can't save her" he sighed, finally opening up a little "She will hate me if I ruin this for her, ruin whatever this is for us, if I risk losing this job, I risk losing her"

"oh wow" she giggled "both so stubborn". Finishing with a hiccup, She looks on at you. Her gorgeous friend, fading. "Look" she pushed. "You both deserve to be happy, save my friend please..."

"trust me I would but she needs to do it on her own terms, that way I'm still respecting her and her choices. I won't lose my job and I won't lose her'

"your call but you know how stubborn she is chan and anyway you might even snap before then anyways" she sighs. She taps his shoulder quickly before making her way back to the table, your eyes blink knowingly and it's back to the reality of pretending. You fake laugh and chan's not sure how much he can take now, especially when San pulls the big guns and pulls you into his lap.

You stay strong, pretending to enjoy the sudden action. Your friends all wiggle their eyebrows and make flirty jokes. All expect your close friend y/f/n who was stood by chan moments ago giving him a pep talk. She was not impressed either, mimicking Chan's vicious protective gaze. You shift slightly uncomfortable, a feeling unfamiliar under you but it was obvious what it was. Your eyes landed on chan but you never gave him the look. Chan's heart was racing now, never has he been this on edge on duty before and that's saying something, he's been through it all. He was completely on stand-by ready to intervene at any slight change in your facial expressions or body language. All you had to do was give him that damn look. But you didn't. The night continued on and it killed him. It killed both of you.

Lingering eye contact, knowing glances, you both struggled and the more San touched you, the more miserable you became, the more you wanted chan.

Chan was desperate to get you alone now. He could sense the needing in you. He knew you too well. He was fighting a battle inside his mind. Just let him save you... He is your bodyguard after all... Finally you got up, San clinging to you.

"where are you going princess"

You snapped a glare, your patients and strength wearing thin.

"don't call me that" you sighed.. " i'm just going to the ladies restroom"

Chan watched like a hawk, listening to every word and tone carefully and analyzing the whole situation. His stance is firm and protective. San left his hand there a little longer, it didn't look like he was going to remove it anytime soon causing chan to step closer.

"stay princess" he childishly pleaded but it was more of a small demand.

"she said don't call her that" chan calmly but firmly spoke. his voice was low and deep and intimidating. His eyes flickered to yourdreassuringly, a confirmation of safety that warmed you inside. You gave him a slight nod in approval. "Please could you remove your hand for the lady to go to the restroom" very impressive work from chan, it was demanding yet calm, his voice still deep.

You blush lightly, San without hesitation as daring as he was, respected the command instantly, snaking his hand away from your arm. Free from his grip was somewhat satisfying and freeing and you were so grateful it was a straight forward thing and not an uproar of drama like a team Edward or team Jacob thing.

You got up and he followed. Chan of course. He was hot on your heels, guiding you through the restaurant with his comforting hand on the small of your back. It felt sooooo good. Your body shaking off the cold hideous feeling of Sans icy touch and warming up to chan's warm familiar one.

"are you going to give in yet" he breathed "I can't watch you any longer" he whispers under his breath. You finally reach a private area that leads to the fancy bathrooms.

"but it's your job to watch me" you protested, turning to face him and crossing your arms.

Chan is tense, his comforting eyes now clouded with something you didn't recognize. You questioned him with concern but anger filled you. Like you needed a release of something.

"because that's all it is toyou right? Your job. You are just doing your job" you shook, your lips trembling eyes filling with worry at what his reaction may be to you suddenly lashing out. Your hands are shaking, your thoughts all mashed up and confused.

Instead of fighting back, chan steps forward, taking your shaking hands gently in his own. He tries to calm your racing confused heart but his is just as bad, anxiety knocking his confidence but still, he fights through and pulls you into his warm pounding chest, comforting you and keeping you safe in your own little bubble once again. "Is this part of my job? No, I choose to pull you close. I choose to risk my job to be closer to you. it's not part of my job to be in love with you" he confesses. Your eyes prickle with warm tears and you begin to feel him sway you slightly, an attempt to ease the anxiety radiating from you both then he continues after taking in a deep breath. "If anything it's not aloud but here I am, beyond duty, begging you right now, please.. y/n.. give in.. this is killing me.. It's not your job to fake date but you choose to but you don't have to... I can see you aren't happy, I can make you happy" he pleads and your heart swells.

You pull away, eyes searching his own and finally they return to his usual warm shade, glistening with hope and admiration. He smooths a strand of your soft hair away from your face that was currently sticking to your teary wet cheek. You smiled warmly, bravely cupping his cheek with the soft palm of your hand. The sudden action grounded chan instantly, calming his beating heart, he melted into the touch and searched your eyes deeper. He hesitated for a moment but took another deep breath. "I didn't want to do this here... I was hoping I could just punch that douche bag in there, take you home and confess my love to you over naked breakfast in the morning but I don't have much of a choice now..."

Your heart races, this didn't feel real to you right now, in the arms of your bodyguard, both relaying your true feelings.. what was he going to say next?

He held you tighter. His strong body wraps around you like a safety blanket and you couldn't get enough of his scent, you wanted to strip him right here right now. Damn your impulsiveness.

"what is it chan?" You breathed, lips dying to crash onto his now. He looks you dead in the eyes and locks in with you.. "Princess, not as your bodyguard but as a forbidden lover... Risk it all with me..."

There he goes again. Taking your breath away, getting your heart to flutter uncontrollably and lose all your senses, surprising you over and over. When will this ever stop? You never want it to. You only grip onto him tighter.

"channie I..." You were speechless.

"don't ruin me princess, say yes, be mine, I will always take care of y..."

Your lips finally crash onto his own. You shut him up completely with a well overdue kiss, your lips moulded perfectly together. Kisses were wet, soft, delicate but hungry, your chests heave in sync, both gasping in-between for air but you both lived and breathed for each other in this moment and like any other moment you've had and any other moments that lie ahead for you both. He shuffles forward towering over you as you pull him into you while he presses you against a wall, both more hungry now. The sweet sucking and gasps are filling the quiet space around you, just you and your little bubble of heaven. No one else around you matters now and never will when you finally plan to make your escape plan together...The princess and her bodyguard, happily ever after...

[sweetromanova]

Off The Record: Part Two🖤

Natasha Romanoff x Criminal Defense Lawyer!Original Female Character

Summary: She’s built a career on keeping secrets and defending the worst with nothing to lose. That changed when Natasha Romanoff showed up on the other side of the courtroom.

Warnings: descriptions of violence, psychological manipulation, implied child abuse and trauma, emotional abuse, mentions of torture, human and sex trafficking, war crimes and murder, implied coercion, legal corruption, gun violence, secondary character deaths, power imbalance, blood and injury depiction

A/N: thanks for reading!🖤

Chapter Two

Avengers Secondary Holding Facility, Upstate New York

March 14, 2022

The observation room was silent. Behind the one way glass, Vasiliev sat calmly in his chair, a smug smile painted on his face.

His shackles had been removed for the evaluation but the presence of the guards were still noted, nobody comfortable to let the man have all of his freedom. Across from him sat a government appointed psychiatrist, clipboard in hand, calm and clinical questions being spieled as though unfazed by the person sitting across from him. Vasiliev answered each one with unsettling serenity, almost charming in his approach and hiding just enough to get by.

On the other side of the glass, the Avengers stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the man they know is guilty play the system like he did it in his sleep.

“I hate this.” Natasha muttered, a permanent crease between her two eyebrows.

“He’s good at the act.” Wanda added. “Too good.”

Tony leaned in a little, suspicious. “Are we sure he hasn’t rehearsed this? Like written his own diagnosis?”

“He’s been underground for the better part of a decade, he’s had time to practise.” Maria replied. Vasiliev tilted his head at the psychiatrist, smiling in a way that made everyone in the room feel a little colder. 

“How do you even determine someone as sick as that is legally insane?” Steve growled. “There’s nothing normal about him.”

“That’s the trick.” Maria said. “It’s not about whether he’s evil. It’s about whether he can distinguish right from wrong. And whether at the time of his crimes, he could understand the nature of what he was doing.”

Natasha scoffed. “He experimented on live subjects. He kept journals and blueprints. He named the projects after Russian mythology. He knew exactly what he was doing.”

“Doesn’t matter. If Sienna can show he has some sort of mental illness severe enough to impair his judgement, even just a little, they won’t risk it. Hell they can even avoid taking it to trial altogether.”

“So what happens then?” Sam frowns, feeling increasingly nauseous that someone like this could walk back on to the streets as a free man.

“If the tribunal accepts an insanity plea, they could ock him away in a psychiatric containment facility. Usually it’s a minimum of twenty years but we’ve seen Sienna defy that plenty times already. But there’s no trial, no public proceedings, it’s like it didn’t even happen.”

“No accountability.” Natasha bites.

“I don’t know what’s worse.” Tony glances at her, knowing all too well what kind of hospitals people like him can end up in. “Him being free or him being in a hospital that might as well be a five star hotel.”

“I want people to know what he did.” Natasha snapped. “To see it, feel it. He doesn’t get to vanish behind padded walls, without acknowledging the crimes he committed. As for Sienna? Just letting this happen… I can’t believe this.”

“We don’t know her strategy yet.” Maria sighs, crossing her arms across her chest. “Filing for the evaluation could be stalling. It could be part of a plea plan. It could just be something to bank for later. Or maybe she wants him declared incompetent, just to prove the law still protects the worst of us.”

“She’s not doing this for him.” Wands speaks. “She’s doing it for the principle, that’s what makes her dangerous.”

Back inside the padded room, the psychiatrist closed his file and stood. Vasliev remained seated, stretching his hand out to shake the others, as if the two were old friends having a catch up after a golf session at the country club. Natasha stared at him, unblinking as he looked directly at the glass, a smirk on his face like he knew they were all watching.

⋆⋆⋆⋆

Avengers Secondary Holding Facility, Upstate New York

March 15, 2022

Maria stood in front of the group once again, her tone one of exhaustion and stress. “The psychiatrists report is in. Vasiliev has been declared mentally unstable. Specifically the psychiatrists identified signs of long-term dissociative symptoms, borderline psychotic tendencies and prolonged neurological damage consistent with experimental neurochemical exposure. Likely HYDRA origin.”

“But?” Steve asked, a sliver of hope seeping through.

“He’s still going to trial. He’s been deemed competent to stand trial. That means he understands what’s happening and can assist in his defence which makes the trial legally valid.”

Natasha’s hands hit the table, making Wanda flinch beside her. “But if he’s insane, he’s going to walk-“ 

“Not exactly. He’ll likely receive some time if prosecuted-“

“Oh please, a couple of years in a padded cell where they believe you’re cured by sunshine exposure and long walks in the garden.”

“She’s going to push for a not guilty plea deal, by reason of insanity.”

“She’ll try.” Maria shrugged. “But that’s not automatic. She has to prove, in court, that at the time of the crimes, he was unable to understand the difference between right and wrong, or to control his actions. The list is long of what he’s done, it’s not going to be easy.”

“He experiments on prisoners, on kids.” Tony almost laughs. “He built weapon prototypes from human nervous systems. That wasn’t a psychotic break, it was project management.”

Wanda’s voice was next, soft and distant. “But he believed in it. Believed what he was doing was necessary.”

“That’s what makes it tricky.” Maria reinforced. “Insanity doesn’t mean ‘he was crazy therefore he can’t be held accountability’, it means the context of his intent is in question. All it takes is to drop other people in it, emotions, lies and blackmail and you’ve got yourself a plea deal.”

“So what happens if the plea deal works?”

“If the tribunal were to accept it, he won’t walk free with the level of this case. He’s committed, high security psychiatric detainment until he’s deemed fit. Possibility of parole.”

“Then he never answers for it.” Natasha shakes her head, in disbelief. “Never faces the people he destroyed.”

“And if the plea deal doesn’t work?”

“Sienna’s not stupid, she’ll pivot. She’ll argue diminished capacity, so same diagnosis but different strategy. She’ll use the mental state to push for a reduced sentence, instead of acquittal.”

“So it’s a safety net? This whole thing?”

“Of course. This is why she pushes for the evaluation first. If we get to the point where we can prove his crimes in court, she can prove although it happened, the intent wasn’t there. It’s leverage.”

“So what now?”

“We build the case better. Facts. Witnesses. Evidence. If we make the case undeniable, it doesn’t give her a way around this.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

⋆⋆⋆⋆

Avengers Secondary Holding Facility, Upstate New York

March 18, 2022 

The interrogation room was colder than necessary. Bright, sterile light poured from overhead, reflecting off the metal table that sat between Maksim Vasiliev, Sienna Blake and the two women who had finally been granted the authority to question him.

On one side of the table, Maria Hill, clipboard in hand, professional and unreadable. Beside her sat Natasha Romanoff, arms folded, her glare sharp enough to cut vibranium.

On the opposite side, Maksim Vasiliev, seated like he owned the room, like he paid all three women’s pay check. And next to him, cool and composed as ever was Sienna Blake, a legal pad in front of her with one perfectly manicured hand resting over it like a gatekeeper.

The room was being recorded from three angles. Two guards waited just outside the door and Sienna knew the group of avengers stood just behind the mirrored wall.

Maria, with a small cough to break the loaded silence, began. “State your name for the record.”

“Maksim.” Vasiliev gave a smile, almost amused at the situation. “Maksim Vasiliev.”

“Date of Birth?”

“August 2nd, 1970.”

“Former designation?”

Vasiliev tilted his head slightly at the question, lips tugging back to a smirk. “Actually I was never officially given one. I understand some in Shield referred to me as ‘Winter’ something or maybe ‘Specter’. How dramatic.”

Natasha’s voice didn’t share the same amusement. “You ran six black site labs. Oversaw human experimentation. Designed neural destabilisers for memory erasure. You-“

“Objection.” Sienna intervened, eyes sharp at the redhead. “Compound statement. Leading and-“

“This isn’t a courtroom, Ms Blake.” Maria took her time to intervene, almost in disbelief at the lawyer.

“No but we all know this footage WILL be used in court and entered as evidence.” Sienna said, not missing a beat. “So my client will not respond to emotionally charged speculation.”

“Let’s make it simple then.” Natasha leaned in, elbows moving to rest on the table. “Did you or did you not sign off on Project Mirror?”

Vasiliev didn’t answer at first, simply staring into the eyes of the agent. Sienna spoke up instead. “My client declines to answer on the grounds that it could incriminate him without further evidence.”

“You’re not even denying it.” 

“He’s exercising his rights. If you have the evidence, Agent Romanoff, present it. But you can’t interrogate a man into confessing because YOU think so.”

Vasiliev glanced at Sienna, then to Natasha. “Is that what this is? You want me to bleed a little, Natalia?”

Only Maria could sense the flinch from Natasha.  “I want the truth.”

“No, you want revenge. There is a difference, Agent.”

“That’s enough, Mr Vasiliev.” Sienna spoke, eyes glancing at the recorder sat on the table.

Maria, as calm as ever, took over. “Mr Vasiliev, during your time in Prague in 1998, seventeen civilians disappeared from the nearby refugee centre. DNA linked nine to remains recovered from Lab Site B. Do you deny responsibility for their deaths?”

Vasiliev’s expression changed for the rest time, going from faint amusement to mild boredom, lined with irritation. “I do not know what you are referring to. Besides if they were refugees, they were basically undocumented ghosts, who really noticed they were missing? Orphans of war I believe.”

“12 of those ‘ghosts’ were under the age of 16. You killed them, like they were lab rats.” Natasha nearly jumped halfway out of her chair at his words.

“Agent Romanoff, if you continue to accuse my client without evidence, I will terminate this questioning or better yet, have you removed.” Sienna met her gaze, not flinching.

“Mr Vasiliev, records show you were present in Moscow at the Zarya Laboratory in 2002.” Maria slides across a grainy image of Vasiliev, along with a signature scribbled upon a form, written in Russian.

“I worked in Moscow, correct.”

“Were you aware of Project Eris that was taking place in Zarya in 2002 while 2004?”

“I was aware of many projects.”

Natasha slides more papers across the table. “We have recovered lab files in your handwriting. Signatures. Notes. Schematics. Test Logs. All of these things place you in that lab, during Project Eris.”

Vasiliev didn’t even look at the papers, merely raising an eyebrow. “And yet, you still have to ask if I was involved?”

“Were you?”

“My client isn’t denying being in Moscow. He will not comment on involvement classified operations unless specific documentation or proof is produced.” Sienna again, not even looking up, reeled off her rehearsed comments. 

“280 women went missing in 2002 alone.”

“I was not involved in personal section.” Maksim spoke, giving something away for the first time.

“So you’re not denying the project existed?” Natasha clung at straws, hoping for some kind of break.

“I’m saying…” He said, with careful diction. “That I was not in control of any element of execution.”

“Did you authorise the neurochemical treatments applied to Subject 14-A?”

“I think you’ll have to be more specific.” Vasiliev smiled, his eyes telling the agents that he knew exactly who and what they were referring too.

“We found your name on the synthesis orders.” Maria pointed out, her hands pushing the specific piece of paper forward. “Batch 08-H. Custom-modified neurotoxins derived from HYDRA’s Winter protocols.”

That daring smirk on Maksim’s lips reappeared. “I approved many compounds over the years. I worked very heavily in pharmaceutical companies for many years. Applications were not always easily communicated.”

Sienna interjected again, still measured. “My client is not confirming or denying the existence of any protocol unless the original documentation is provided for review. Additionally, any testing logs retrieved from defunct HYDRA labs are subject to authenticity challenges, given how easily data is corrupted or fabricated in post-conflict recovery.”

Natasha sat back slightly, eyes narrowing. “You’re playing a very careful game.”

Maksim’s smile returned. “Is that not the point of this exercise?”

Natasha ignored him. She turned a page on her file. “Let’s talk about the Unit 4175 Lab in Kraków. You were seen on-site three weeks before its collapse in 2015.”

“No footage confirms that.” Maksim presumed, once again smiling like he knew something they didn’t.

“SHIELD satellites tracked your heat signature.”

“That sounds circumstantial.”

Natasha looked to Maria, who gave a small nod. Time to shift tactics.

Natasha leaned forward again, tone quiet but precise. “Were you present when Subject Delta-6 had a seizure that lasted twenty-two minutes during cognitive restructuring?”

Maksim’s eyes flicked to hers. “I read about that in a memo.”

“You wrote the memo.” Natasha didn’t blink. “Delta-6 was seventeen. You logged his failure rate at 93% and listed him as ‘disposable.’”

Sienna’s voice interrupted, a notch colder now. “Agent Romanoff, I’ll remind you that commentary intended to provoke is not admissible as evidence. My client will not respond to weaponised language.”

Natasha turned her eyes toward Sienna. Calm and deadly. “These aren’t provocations. These are facts.”

Vasiliev chuckled softly. “You sound disappointed, Agent Romanoff. Did you come here for a confession?”

Natasha didn’t react. “I came here to document the truth.”

“Truth is subjective.” Vasiliev said with faint amusement. “I imagine yours is soaked in red, Ms Widow.”

Natasha slowly closed her file. “I’ve made peace with my ledger. Have you?”

Vasiliev said nothing.

Maria sensing the tension building close to boiling point, swapped a glance with Natasha and finally closed her clipboard. “This concludes today’s interview. Mr. Vasiliev remains remanded. Further interrogation sessions will be scheduled pending legal clearance.”

The recording light flicked off with a beep.

As the guards moved to retrieve Vasiliev, Natasha stood, her gaze lingering a moment longer on Sienna than on the man she was defending. Sienna calmly collected her notes. “We’ll be in touch.”

Just as the guards disappeared from site, leaving the three women alone, Natasha spoke clearly at Sienna. “I’m going to bury him, Ms Blake. No matter what you try and pull in that courtroom.”

⋆⋆⋆⋆

Briefing Room, Avengers Secondary Holding Facility, Upstate New York

March 18, 2022

Back in the secure briefing room, the door shut with a definitive hiss behind them. Natasha dropped the case file on the table like it offended her.

Maria remained standing.The silence between them wasn’t tension but calculation. Both women were processing. One analytically. The other like she was trying not to set the room on fire.

“She didn’t even blink.” Maria said, finally.

Natasha pulled out a chair, sat down, rubbed a hand across her mouth. “Not once.”

“She kept writing through the entire thing, even when we weren’t speaking. Especially then.”

Natasha looked up. “You noticed that too.”

Maria nodded, slowly. “I’ve interrogated warlords, traffickers, people with kill orders on half the UN Security Council.” She continued. “None of them ever made me nervous.”

Natasha’s brow arched faintly. “And Sienna Blake does?”

Maria didn’t answer right away. She walked to the wall-mounted flat screen, brought up the playback from the session. She froze it at a frame where Sienna sat with her pen poised, eyes flicking between Vasiliev and the agents.

“She’s not reacting emotionally, not even instinctively. She’s analysing.”

Natasha studied the image. “You think she’s building strategy in real time?”

“I think she walked into that room with one already built.” Maria replied. “And she was looking for cracks.”

Natasha leaned back. “Well, we gave her plenty of surface area. Vasiliev stonewalled us, and she didn’t even have to tell him how. He was already trained.”

Maria clicked the remote. Another freeze-frame where Sienna tapping a note with the end of her pen. Next to her, Vasiliev looked like a smug devil in a silk tie.

“Body language?” Maria asked.

Natasha considered. “She never looked at him unless he was speaking. But he glanced at her every time you asked something direct.”

“Means he’s checking boundaries.” Maria said.

“Or waiting for permission?” Natasha added.

Maria folded her arms. “You think there’s more between them?”

“I think she knows what he did and I think she’s already found a way to spin it.”

The room went quiet again. Natasha stared at the paused screen, then finally said. “She’s not afraid of him.”

Maria didn’t miss a beat. “No. But I think she wants people to believe she is.”

That sat heavy between them. Natasha stood. “This isn’t just about Vasiliev anymore. This is about her.”

“She’s not the target, Nat.”

“No,” Natasha agreed but her voice had cooled. “She’s the fire wall.”

Maria frowned. “So what do you want to do?”

Natasha looked at the frozen image one more time then turned away. “Find the cracks. She’s too clean. Nobody gets that good without bleeding somewhere.”

[unsolicited-opinions]

It's always hilarious when I see the dates on your posts because in NZ we go day/month/year.

So when I see your posts, for example one I saw just now dated 5/9/25, I'm like "oh cool post from the future". Then my brain catches up and goes "oh wait no that's not right, time travel doesn't exist. Amercian date duh"

(Please never change your date system, I enjoy the moment of confusion)

Can we talk about how weird the US is?

Most of the world uses DD/MM/YYYY, but the US uses MM/DD/YYYY

Most of the world uses Celsius, the US uses Fahrenheit.

Most of the world is metric, but the US won't let go of Imperial units.

The US is the only wealthy nation without universal healthcare.

Most of the world uses 220–240V electricity, the US uses 120-Volt

I read that only the US and New Zealand allow direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical ads.

The US is the only nation that ties many aspects of adult life (housing, employment, loans, insurance rates) to a secretive algorithm-driven credit score system.

Many countries vote on weekends or have national holidays for elections. The US votes on a Tuesday - and it's not even a federal holiday.

College sports are not an industry ($18-$20 billion per year!) anywhere but in the US.

The weirdest difference about Americans...is that they're largely unaware of how weird the US is among other nations.

It's funny. I was looking at the above and thought, I should make a list of things about the US I'm proud of! Some of the ways it is positively exceptional!

So I started making a list...and had to face the reality that Trump is attacking all of them.

1. Constitutionally Protected Free Speech

The US has some of the strongest legal protections for freedom of expression in the world - including unpopular, offensive, or political speech.

Unlike many democracies, "hate speech" laws don’t exist in the same form, and government censorship is much more restricted.

Trump hasn't dismantled free speech (yet), but he attacked the free press as "the enemy of the people," encouraged and filed lawsuits against journalists, and floated ideas like expanding libel laws to target critics. While not policy, this rhetoric chills speech and emboldens authoritarianism. His attempts to illegally de-fund public broadcasting are nakedly political, motivated by his distaste for the content of NPR and PBS, and in violation of the First Amendment.

2. Invention Culture

The U.S. is uniquely good at turning wild ideas into world-changing innovations: the airplane, the internet, the smartphone, GPS, social media, electric cars, AI, and yes, even the moon landing.

American culture prizes risk-taking and rewards failure as a learning process - rare in most countries.

Trump's immigration limits (like the H-1B visa crackdown) restricted access to top global talent, which could weaken innovation long-term. His attacks on institutions of higher education will dramatically slow technological innovation and destroy research programs. The brain drain to other nations of technical, scientific expertise has already started.

3. Higher Ed Research Powerhouse

The U.S. is home to nearly all of the top global research universities and attracts more international students than any other country.

American universities lead in medical, technological, and scientific breakthroughs.

Trump slashed funding for scientific research and gutted federal advisory panels.

Anti-intellectualism and attacks on elite universities (especially during COVID and around DEI issues) undermined trust in American academia and discouraged international students.

He also restricted foreign researchers, especially from China.

4. Peaceful Transfers of Power (Mostly)

The US had a long history of peaceful democratic transitions, without coups, assassinations, or military takeovers - uncommon for such a large and diverse nation...and then came Trump.

Trump's refusal to accept the 2020 election results, pressuring officials to overturn it, and inciting the January 6th insurrection are considered by legal scholars and bipartisan commissions as an unprecedented attack on American democracy.

5. National Parks System

The US pioneered the idea of preserving vast, stunning natural landscapes for public enjoyment - Yellowstone was the world's first national park.

The National Parks system is the gold standard for conservation tourism.

Trump opened millions of acres of protected lands to drilling, mining, and commercial use, including rolling back protections at Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante.

His administration also weakened the Endangered Species Act and gutted environmental regulations.

6. Civil Society Strength

The US has a thriving network of grassroots organizations, non-profits, advocacy groups, and independent media that hold institutions accountable and mobilize citizens.

Trump has attacked watchdog groups and frequently tried to delegitimize civil society institutions, especially those related to voting rights, environment, and racial justice.

His administration also attempted to weaponize the IRS and DOJ against political opponents.

7. Free & Open Internet

Despite pressures, the US has generally protected a free and open internet, with few restrictions on access or content compared to most other nations.

...until Trump’s FCC, under Ajit Pai, repealed net neutrality protections in 2017. Though the internet remained accessible, open access and fair competition were weakened.

9. Entrepreneurial Ecosystem

The US leads in startup creation, venture capital funding, and unicorn companies (startups worth $1B+).

It’s one of the few places where a person can come from nothing and build a global empire in their garage (literally - see Apple, Amazon, HP).

Trump's immigration restrictions hurt startups' access to talent and investment (e.g. STEM immigrants, startup visas).

Trade wars with China and uncertainty in international markets also created instability for small and medium-sized innovators.

10. Strong Judicial Review

The US Supreme Court and lower courts have real power to strike down laws and check the other branches - rare in many democracies.

Trump respected judicial review when it served him, but attacked judges who ruled against him, calling them "Obama judges" or "so-called judges."

He also appointed record numbers of federal judges, many of whom were rated "not qualified," and explicitly chosen for ideological loyalty, raising long-term concerns about judicial independence.

11. Religious Pluralism

While religion is prominent in public life, the U.S. also guarantees freedom of religion and supports a wildly diverse religious landscape - everything from Orthodox Jews to Buddhists to Wiccans to atheists.

Trump has embraced Christian nationalism and banned entry from multiple Muslim-majority countries (the "Muslim Ban"), which was later struck down and modified...until he revived it in 2025.

Rhetoric and policies have consistently signaled preference for one religious identity, undermining pluralism.

12. Robust Refugee and Immigrant Absorption (Historically)

Though flawed, the US has welcomed more immigrants than any other country in history and granted millions paths to citizenship, jobs, and education.

Trump cut legal immigration by nearly 50%, reduced refugee admissions to historic lows, ended DACA protections, and dismantled the asylum process.

His administration separated families, created a climate of fear, and made it harder for immigrants to naturalize.

Don't get me started on his ICE raids.

13. Civil Rights Legacy

The US gave birth to one of the most influential civil rights movements of the 20th century — and inspired others around the world.

Figures like Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and John Lewis are global symbols of peaceful resistance and justice.

Trump dismantled Obama-era civil rights protections, including for transgender individuals, voting rights enforcement, and police reform oversight.

He attacked movements like Black Lives Matter and used federal forces against peaceful protesters (Lafayette Square, 2020).

14. Strong Local Government

States and localities in the US have real, constitutionally protected autonomy, enabling political diversity and experimentation (think: marijuana legalization, universal basic income pilots, or charter school models).

Trump has repeatedly threatened "blue states" and tried to withhold federal funding from states or cities that disagreed with him politically (e.g., sanctuary cities, COVID policies).

Undermining federalism in this way weakened the traditional balance of state and federal power.

15. Disaster Response Innovation

FEMA and the U.S. military lead some of the fastest and best-coordinated global disaster responses - often being first on the ground for earthquakes, hurricanes, and humanitarian crises abroad.

Trump’s handling of Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico was widely condemned as negligent and racially biased.

His COVID-19 response lacked national coordination and downplayed science, weakening U.S. disaster response credibility.

His FEMA director was unaware there is a hurricane season.

So...most of the things about my country of which I was still proud...are being erased.

(But I'm glad our date formatting is entertaining.)

[patchworkthinker]

I'd like to correct some misinformation here: 1. The Freedom Flotilla was exercising its freedom to peacefully traverse international waters and deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza, something completey within their legal right to do. 2. The interception of this ship on international waters by the Israeli army is what violates international law, in addition to their illegal seige and blockade that is starving and killing people in Gaza, their bombing of hospitals and schools and UN buildings, their deliberate sniping of children in the face according to doctors on the ground, and countless other atrocities committed.

Now, given the information above, do you really think your anger is best directed at a group of famous people who want to use their fame to bring attention to what every human rights organization and genocide scholar has determined to be a genocide? Considering how many journalists and medical personnel have been killed, as well as the fact that even diplomats were shot at by the Israeli military, the fact that people on the Freedom Flotilla are famous helps protect them from being killed like so many others, since killing them would provoke outrage.

They are using their privilege as a protective mechanism and as a means to bring attention to one of the greatest atrocities being committed in modern day history. So yeah, sure, they're privileged. But I want privileged people to do everything in their power to get aid to Gaza and bring attention to the suffering of Palestinians.

In a day and age where evidence of this genocide is so readily available, I know I'm probably wasting my time here, but while we're at it, let's correct some more misinformation: Elica Le Bon, like many others, is implying that these efforts aren't directed toward peace and that the true way to get peace is to release the hostages. That's what everyone keeps repeating: "If only the hostages would be released, then this would all be over." As if these atrocities weren't happening before October 7th. As if all of this was caused by hostages being taken (though people conveniently forget about the thousands of Palestinian hostages held in Israel on no charges). The reality is, plenty of deals were on the table to release all hostages. Israel rejected those deals. Finally, when Israel did agree to a ceasefire, Hamas complied and Israel violated it, continuing to kill more and more innocent Palestinians. In a more recent deal, Hamas offered to completely leave the Gaza strip and give up any authority of that area in exchange for a ceasefire. What did Israel do? Reject the offer, and then take that section out of the deal completely, almost as if trying to hide that it was even offered. The Israeli government doesn't want peace. They have never wanted peace. They want genocide and they want the land. Thus, all humanitarian efforts at aid are valid and needed. Direct your anger at the people doing the starving and the killing, stand with your fellow human beings fighting to end this genocide, including many wonderful Jewish people leading the charge, and free Palestine.

Elica Le Bon reads all the malicious, white savior Western Leftist FUCKS to filth.

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[possumcollege]

I love the way physical proximity and touch is used in Andor.

(the following contains spoilers)

Rebel characters are often so close together, familiar. They hug, they huddle, they touch. It's not unusual for them to be shoulder-to-shoulder when skulking around. Their locations are intimate, by nature of their need to hide, but most settings appear open, communal, familial. Their clothes are softer, weathered, textured, lived-in.

The Imperial world is much more strictly regimented, isolated, and physical separation highlights their hierarchy. Rank confers the right to breech that barrier but physical separation is the cultural norm. Officers have sterile secure office cells. Their uniforms are stiff, crisp. Their soldiers are armored.

The Imperial prison is an encapsulation of how the Empire sees people. They are acquired at the Empire's leisure, only allowed to gather in order to produce, then get stored in their little styrofoam packing blocks. Prisoners are conditioned to see eachother as competition, or as threats to their own eventual freedom. They are only rewarded with flavor in their feeding tubes. Attempts to gather, coordinate, escape, or move freely are brutally punished. Entire blocks of prisoners are disposable. Touch is purely incidental or punitive.

Rebel locations and places free of direct Imperial oversight are much different. Ferrix is built up and urban, but it has a very culturally fluid structure. People brush past eachother in the narrow streets, they work closely in the shipyards, they come and go from eachother's homes. The camp on Aldhani has no significant doors or walls. It fits the nomadic culture of they're trying to blend in with, but it also puts the team on the same plane. They may not all share 100% of the information, but they are all exposed to the same threats and depend on eachother. The same can be said of the base on Yavin. It's a sprawling complex, but the marshal yards, supply areas, living quarters are not enclosed. The only real separation is the chamber where leaders meet but we see many other characters have access to it. Cassian's place on Yavin has no doors or interior walls. The exterior walls aren't solid. It's more psychological shelter than secure position.

Conversely, The Empire's backbone is pure authority. The structure keeps the machine rolling and the pieces need to be kept apart to minimize friction, maximise compartmentalization, and make people easier to monitor or replace. The most memorable scenes of Imperial characters touching someone else are aggressive and disturbing. Closeness is an enemy of order. Depersonalization is almost a prerequisite for advancement.

This theme of closeness and separation is really highlighted when these modes change. When Rebel characters are alone, it's usually to protect the rest of the alliance, and when they isolate themselves, it's tragic. When Imperial characters are alone it's usually because they're being played as pawns or they've screwed up. When they make contact, it's almost always threatening.

The Rebels need to trust and have faith in eachother because their connections are their greatest strength. The highest ranking rebel leaders are not as insulated from direct threats as Imperial officers. Isolated rebel characters are removed from the very lifeblood of their cause, eachother. When they touch it usually reinforces their bonds. We are meant to see that the compartmentalization necessary for secrecy is extremely taxing for many of them. Closeness and intimacy are a sacrifice to the cause of freedom.

Even at their most amicable, Syril and Dedra's physical relationship is awkward. I get the impression that, thanks to their upbringing, and professional culture, neither of them understands how to perform affection. We can tell there is a desire for it but it isn't accessible to them. Because of this, their affectionate interactions still read like power plays or secret transgressions. It's shocking when we see Syril grip Dedra by the throat on Ghorman because it violates their personal relationship, their established dynamic, and every cultural norm Dedra is used to. This contact is the result of a breech between them, a collapse, and an outpouring of emotion between two people whose primary motivation is order. Syril's entire conception of the purpose of authority and his relationship implodes into a white-hot point of anger, leaving both feeling frightened and betrayed.

The fight between Syril and Cassian is an extension of this, with Syril pouring all of his grief and rage into an explosion of physical violence. For Syril, his relationship with this man is personal, intimate, and the systems that were supposed to resolve it have turned to ash. The law didn't share his sense of justice and dedication. The Empire (and as far as he knows, Dedra) exploited his sense of duty, using him as a tool to exterminate an entire population. His mother can't even treat him like a whole person. In that moment of crisis on Ghorman all he has is physical contact. He focuses all the rage of his isolation and insignificance on Cassian's face, only to learn that the one man who is responsible for the most important years of his life doesn't even know who he is. He devoted his life to causes that repeatedly reward him with total erasure.

When Krennic confronts Dedra in the interrogation room, his initial touch is more unsettling to her than anything he says. She expects to be grilled and raked over the coals, but she doesn't expect contact. In their world, contact is something that happens to other people. To be touched by the Empire is usually an act of subjugation, domination, and violence. For that to land literally on top of her head is terrifying. The initial contact is also incredibly demeaning and immediately tells her that she is no longer respected or safe. She is no longer on the distribution side of violence. A sentiment further ground in when he grabs her by the head. Her service to the Empire evaporates and she's reduced to nothing more than a violation of security protocols.

Luthen and Mon Mothma are great example of these themes because they must present acceptable fronts to the Empire in order to undermine it. Their physical and social spaces are simultaneously very open and controlled, intimate but largely performative. Their minds are their only truly personal spaces.

Mon's home is very spacious with few interior doors. The people inside move about and easily come into contact. Her clothes are orderly, intricate, and sculptural, but open backs and necklines portray a vulnerability and intentional exposure, unlike the high, stiff "protect your neck" style Imperial uniforms.

Luthen's shop is open, presumably, to the public but the objects on display that distract and attract also act as a subtle sort of barrier, like his public persona. Luthen uses his gregarious image to get closer to positions of power. All of his garish layers and lighthearted mannerisms make his priorities seem obvious and frivolous.

Luthen is nonthreatening to the Empire because he performs the distance of a dilletante, in service of himself. Mon maintains her position by participating in the arms-length business of public diplomacy. The Empire only suspects her as much as any other senator because they ultimately know the senate has no teeth to bare against them. She's one voice among thousands.

It's appropriate that each representative in that senate is isolated in their own little floating dog-bowl. They're all in the same room, but they are still physically isolated within that space. The space of each little pod can easily render a person very small and exposed in the face of the assembly looming over them.

It draws a lot of parallels to historic controls of proximity and touch to shape society, reinforce authority, breed privilege, and crush dissent. There are times when all we have is eachother. Depriving is of that is such an act of calculated cruelty. I really appreciate how well the show uses these themes to humanize the characters on both sides of the conflict and illustrate how fundamentally dehumanizing an authoritarian empire is.

[moldybonessmell]

I have many thoughts about Alexei in MCU and I shall share them with you.

I see discourse if he's bad person or not (just like with other Thunderbolts as it's the point of the movie lol) and I wanted to explain how I see his character.

I feel the need to say that I've watched Thunderbolts before Black Widow and my impressions are based on that. /SPOILERS for both of course.

Firstly, he's absolutely wrong for sending Natasha and Yelena to the Red Room. Hands down. Did he think he was doing the right thing so they protect themselves? Maybe. I'm not buying it tho lol. I don't think he cared about the girls at that time. They were just his job and he did his act. He did not care any further than needed.

But he definitely realises what he did was a horrible thing and stops defending himself and tries to apologise to Natasha in the Black Widow (she didn't actually hear it, but we as viewers know he's sorry).

He's very self-centered and at first it comes off as his ego acting up because he used to be Red Guardian and felt important.

But then he was locked up in prison for 20 years. He did not live all this time. The only things he could hold on were memories of his golden days when he was important and needed. No wonder he's so self-absorbed when the girls get him out. He basically doesn't have an identity, he's a shell of a person he used to be and his glory days is everything he has left. He doesn't have anyone.

But eventually he finds out that he does have people who care about him at least a little bit and they are his adoptive daughters (or just only one left after Endgame). In the beginning of Thunderbolts he's clearly awkward with Yelena as they are not close. Rebuilding familiar relationships is not easy. They went separate ways learning how to live on their own after gaining freedom and figuring out stuff for themselves (clearly unsuccessfully). But "it was real" for Yelena and she still sees him as her father figure. After they got their shit rocked by Sentry and Yelena has a breakdown, Alexei realises this as she says that she needed him, and he understands that he needs her too.

Coming back to Alexei making a mistake of sending the girls to the Red Room, I need people to understand that he's not the same person anymore. He's in his 50's now, and what happens to people as they age is that they grow softer. It is devastating to search closure and support from someone who was the reason for your abuse and trauma growing up. But unfortunately, this is how parents are.

As someone who vividly remembers the abuse I suffered as a child, seeing the same people act completely differently towards me as they reach 60 feels surreal. It feels wrong. Because you can't get closure from someone who's a different person now. I imagine this is how Yelena felt and how difficult it was to her to come back to him and accept his kindness and ask for support now. I unfortunately, don't have a positive experience in this and don't have the forgiveness in me to move on and have a close relationship with my parents as an adult, but that's beside the point lol.

Alexei at this time, tries to take care of Yelena, and at the same time figure out who he is as a person. The way the fandom portrays Thunderbolts dynamic, people don't really pay attention to how much this found family means for Alexei too.

He had no one, nowhere to belong, then for a brief period had daughters again. Then lost Natasha, then had no one again because of grief. Then got Yelena back again and a whole bunch of other teammates. And on top of that, his place in this world as a hero.

It is made to be a comedic gimmick how he's obsessed with bringing together a team, but what it really looks like is him being lonely and desperately trying to find friends and be a part of something. To be a part of a family, and to be a part of something bigger as saving the wolrd and finding self-worth again.

All in all, Alexei is a complex character, and is not inherently bad or good. He's as lonely as the rest of Thunderbolts and goes through the same struggle of proving his worth.

[our-trans-punk-experience]

UK punks, the Freedom Flotilla was sailing under the British Civilian Ensign, which means that under international law the UK Government has a responsibility to protect the boat and the people on board. You can find a template to email your MP about this from the humanti project at this link https://www.humantiproject.org/the-uk-has-a-legal-obligation-to-protect-the-freedom-flotilla/

RIGHT!

listen up punks and rebels, I'm back and covering this for you all best I can, I am so sorry I haven't been able to do an hour-to-hour update of this like I did for the election or the race riots in the UK last august

I have a collection of articles to share as well as the links for the videos the crew themselves posted.

The template above specifically refers to protections pre-interception so some of the wording is slightly outdated but can be easily updated to call on MP to advance protections for everyone on board, connect with the governments of everyone in the crew to emplore them to get their people released.

And while the UK has placed some sanctions on 2 Israeli Ministers, this is not enough, not when the UK continues to arm Israel. I will share any campaigns as they come up

[thatstormygeek]

This is where mainstream media coverage fails most catastrophically. By treating anti-trans campaigns as if they emerge from legitimate medical concerns, outlets like the New York Times provide cover for what is essentially an eliminationist political movement. They take groups that explicitly seek to erase transgender people from society and present their arguments as if they represent one reasonable side of a scientific debate.

"There is such a laser-focused mission that has a very well-oiled financial machine behind it, in politics, on the right, that is destined to eliminate trans care and basically trans rights and trans people from existence," Leibowitz explains. This isn't hyperbole or partisan rhetoric — it's an accurate description of what groups like the Alliance Defending Freedom and the Heritage Foundation have openly stated as their goals. They want to create, in Leibowitz's words, "a society that has people with two sexes and that their gender is automatically what their sex is and that the role of that gender is predefined." ... This is why Leibowitz's quote is so important. Here's someone who tried to work within the system, who believed in good faith engagement, who thought better protocols and clearer research might build bridges with critics. And even he has concluded that the opposition isn't interested in improving care — they're interested in eliminating it entirely.

There it is, right there in the middle of a podcast that built around treating anti-trans political campaigns as legitimate medical concerns: the admission that this fight isn't about nuance at all. Leibowitz figured this out the hard way, after initially believing that better research and more careful protocols might satisfy critics. Instead, he learned what transgender advocates have been saying all along — that no amount of evidence will satisfy people who fundamentally reject the idea that transgender identities are valid. This revelation should be the basis of every story about transgender healthcare restrictions. It should be the framing that guides coverage of anti-trans legislation. Instead, it's treated as an aside, a single quote buried in hours of content that otherwise legitimizes the very "debate" Leibowitz correctly identifies as fundamentally dishonest. ... The doctor's evolution is telling. He initially believed, as many well-meaning professionals do, that the attacks on transgender care stemmed from legitimate medical concerns. If only researchers could produce better studies, if only clinicians could develop more rigorous protocols, if only the medical community could reach clearer consensus, then surely reasonable people would support evidence-based care for transgender youth. This is the same assumption that underlies much of the mainstream media's approach to covering these issues — the idea that we're witnessing a good-faith scientific debate rather than a coordinated political campaign. But Leibowitz learned what happens when you try to engage with this supposed scientific concern in good faith. No matter how careful his approach, no matter how thoroughly he explained the research, no matter how many safeguards were put in place, it wasn't enough. Because the goal was never to improve care or protect children — it was to eliminate transgender people from public life entirely.

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[dinosaurwithablog]

Truth! 👊🏻👊🏼👊🏽👊🏾👊🏿 Power to the people!!

[vaguely-concerned]

bunter keeping peter from being swallowed up by an evil bog with the kind of hysterical strength otherwise only known by mothers deadlifting cars to save their tender babes is something that can actually be so personal

[off-color-darkrai]

Every single time I see some person in the Transformers Fandom trying to convince me "Well actually, both sides are equally as bad":