#proofreading this and damn I had a lot of criticism towards this show
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theflavorofmyautismisspicy · 9 months ago
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Why I like Vanessa/Natasha
Here’s some incoherent thoughts about why I think they have a lot of potential together (and also some thoughts about their characters in general I kinda just went off with this at times)
They share the same struggle since both of them get judged for their hobby because it’s not something that’s seen as “traditionally female”, with Nessie being into soccer and Nata being into skateboarding. Something I also find very interesting is that due to this Vanessa hates pink high heels as she feels like they represent what the world is expecting her to be just because she’s a girl and Natasha hates pink ballet shoes for the same reason. Maybe pink shoes were just the only thing that the writers could think of to represent a thing girls are expected to be interested in, but I still think them both having hate for such a specific thing really just shows similar their struggle is. They also have similarities in their personalities, they’re both shown to be stubborn, moody, sarcastic, have hard time accepting help from others, passionate about sports and they both also have a softer side to them.
Speaking of which, I know a few people have already talked about this but it was honestly just such a missed opportunity from the show to not have these two become friends😭 Like they could’ve bonded over the struggle they share, it would’ve been great for Vanessa to get a female friend (maybe a controversial opinion but I’ve actually always interpreted Vanessa being able to let go of her internalized misogyny at the end of s1e4. Like that episode is painful with its “strong female character is when a girl hates other girls and is more like one of the boys”, even as a child it left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s very much this clip from Sonic Boom https://youtu.be/dWBn0nS8s0A?si=HxN5Xq90vPPQrLE0 expect the writers stopped listening before Knuckles started speaking. However I don’t think internalized misogyny was really a problem that Vanessa had through the series, I don’t really think she acts like that way in the other episodes, but maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part. However the writers could have made the internalized misogyny not being a thing she deals with anymore more clear, if that was their intention like I hope it was, by giving her a female friend). I think it would’ve also been great for Natasha’s character and especially her redemption arc if she bonded with Vanessa and even made amends to her since that’s who she caused most problems for. It has always bothered me how that was just never acknowledged so having them fix things between them would’ve been so good. Have them skate and play soccer together !!
Okay now it’s time for me to sound a bit delusional and say that these two had some very gay enemies tension in some scenes. Like the “hey Adora” sort of tension.
I couldn’t stop thinking about this scene after I first saw it when I was like 8 but I couldn’t understand why. Peak antagonist flirting with the hero
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Yeah that’s the look everyone gives to their enemy
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Natasha, did you really just go to hang out next to Teufelstopf on your free time just in case Vanessa would ride by and you could yell a few mean words at her? Man you’re obsessed🤨
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Can’t believe toxic yuri was invented by a kids show about soccer.
And lastly to tie it all together, I just think these two have a dynamic you could use in a lot of different ways in fanworks. There’s the whole enemies with gay tension and evil flirting I just talked about. The whole “hey Adora” dynamic is always interesting. There’s the possibility to give these two what the writers didn’t dare to do and have them bond with each others and realize they’re actually quite similar. Enemies to friends to lovers with Natasha facing the fact that her dislike toward Vanessa was probably born from her jealousy towards her (like her thinking “she’s a girl yet she’s allowed to play soccer but I’m also a girl and I’m not allowed to skate? If I can’t have that neither can she!”) and then having a redemption arc and becoming friends with Vanessa and then falling for her. If you think internalized misogyny was still a thing Vanessa struggled even after her introduction episode (all though I personally don’t agree with that, I’m not surprised people read it that way, the show fell really flat with its “feminist” message) have her unlearn it thanks to her friendship with Natasha and then realize “wow I’ve been suppressing my true feelings and I actually want to kiss girls, especially Natasha”. They could light pink shoes on fire together and call it a date. Maybe make them date in secret because their friend groups don’t get along and create a Romeo and Juliet like situation for them to deal with. Or have them be sporty girlfriends in an established relationship that watch each other play and then flirt.
So yeah in conclusion, girls should kiss girls👍👍
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lorelaisdiary · 8 months ago
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Content warnings: reader is female and uses she/her pronouns, internalized misogyny, physical violence, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, mentions of starvation, and child neglect.
Johnny Cade x Female! Reader - Sinners
Summary: You were stuck in a very religious household and were raised to believe that bad things would happen if you didn’t follow the rules set for you perfectly. When you meet Johnny Cade, an innocent boy who just wants what’s best for you, he shows you what affection and love is when given in a healthy dosage and not used in a detrimental way. When you finally open up to him about your family, Johnny decides he wants to get you out before something bad happens to you.
Author’s note: I’m so sorry that this took so long!! I’ve been experimenting and rewriting this to fix everything. I’ve also been going back and forth between multiple of my stories so I don’t burn myself out! I do genuinely wonder what churches and all were like back then. I know there was a LOT of cults back then which was what originally inspired this. I will be coming back to proofread this/fix any dialogue that doesn’t make much sense for Johnny. Also, please give constructive criticism!:)
Word count: 5.2K+
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You were on your knees, murmuring a quick prayer. You didn’t want to be outcasted or damned for missing even one prayer and that was something that was beat into you as a child. You kept your hands clasped tightly together as you heard snickering coming from behind you.
You ignored it, knowing it was those boys that had come in randomly during the sermon. You stopped yourself from thinking anything bad about the people laughing. God told you that it wasn’t your place to judge and you trusted him. You wouldn’t judge the boys no matter how many cruel words they spoke.
You felt the tears before they even started to try and fall. You had stood up from the altar and wiped the tears away quickly, hoping no one saw you. The fear of being seen crying wasn’t too strong as everyone already called you overly sensitive so it didn’t matter much if they saw you crying. You went to sit back beside your family, who were all smiling at you as if you had done some good deed by praying.
In your eyes, that was the least of your good deeds. Why didn’t any of the other times get noticed? It wasn’t like it mattered that they didn’t because you weren’t supposed to be praised for doing the bare minimum but it was still upsetting.
A woman sitting beside you smiled down at you and nodded with no actual reason. Well, you thought she was saying hello without speaking. That’s how the people in your class said hello without ever speaking. You found it entertaining but never acted how they did because it was unladylike in every way.
You smiled at the woman and looked back to the preacher who was getting louder by the second. You crossed your arms as you licked your dry lips.
You would do anything to get out of the church but God wouldn’t appreciate you hating his love the way you were. You closed your eyes and looked down towards the ground as you began rapidly praying. Begging for forgiveness that you knew wouldn’t come easily, you felt your heart release the heaviness of your sins. You wouldn’t tell a soul of your true sins. The ones that keep you up late into the night; the ones that make you miss the days you would smoke cigarettes to calm yourself.
You heard the sermon slowly come to an end and you stood up without much thought as you walked into the aisle. Your parents followed you as you walked out of the church without speaking to anyone. Your mom followed you as she let out a sigh. “Your father needs to speak with the pastor so he said we could head on home.” She smiled as she placed a hand on your shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!” She started leading you away from the church as you looked over your shoulder. A group of teenage boys had walked out of the building with one specifically watching you walk away.
Your eyes looked towards a random tree after making eye contact with the adorable boy. You thought he was handsome but you felt a certain disgust for feeling that. You were going to marry a man of your father’s choice. After all, he knew what men were like and would choose based on which man could provide for you and your future family.
Your mom pressed a kiss to your forehead as she held you tightly against her. “Do you want to start exercising more?” Your mom suddenly questioned aloud as she ran a hand through your hair. “I think we should go on more walks and get out of the house more. You’re homeschooled and have nothing else to do and I usually have our home cleaned with food on the table long before it’s needed.” She rambled on and on as you stopped.
Your house was in front of the two of you as you grabbed your mom’s hand from your shoulder and began leading her up the concrete pathway that paved the path you needed to take.
Your stomach growled angrily as you felt hunger pains spread throughout your stomach. When was the last time you ate? You couldn’t remember as you felt you still didn’t deserve to eat. You took a moment to look around your house. Your mom was trying to redecorate as much as possible for Easter. You were feeling disappointment that winter had almost ended and it was soon to be summer.
You enjoyed bundling up in the warmest of clothes while also having reason to light a fire in the fireplace. You felt your face flush as you looked in the mirror that was hung in the living room and noticed that the strap of your bra had slipped down your shoulder. Your mom watched as you pulled it up with a struggle.
“You know, you don’t have to panic when it’s just me. I have breasts, too.” You looked at her with the widest of eyes she’d or anyone had ever seen on you.
“Mom! It’s immodest to ever allow anyone to see anything that only a husband should see!” You snapped as you ran up to your room in fear of being seen as a… you couldn’t bring yourself to think the word.
You collapsed on your bed as sobs filled the empty space beside you. You were ashamed, hurt, sad. You couldn’t understand the emotions that flowed endlessly through your body.
You grabbed the comforter from the end of your bed and brought it up closer to you as you flipped and turned every which way to get comfortable. You grabbed the stuffed animal that laid beside you and hugged it close to you. You were tired and you didn’t want to be involved with anything else for that day. You had gone to church and you had prayed to God to get you out.
You closed your eyes as you slowly drifted off to sleep.
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You grabbed the piece of toast off of your plate and licked your lips at the buttery taste. You were going to the library soon to find the second to the last book in a fantasy series that you had picked up.
You grabbed your purse and started to walk out of your house with a tired sigh leaving you. You wanted more sleep but you also wanted more time to yourself. Your dad had come home with another man. He told you the man was a pastor from a nearby church that wanted to talk about God with your family.
You walked down the broken sidewalk with a frown plastered on your family. You were nervous to be out in public without one of your parents with you as they told you a lot of bad people liked to prey on young girls such as yourself. It made you nervous to even look out the window some days with the things they told you.
You sped up as the wind blew a little harder against you. You were wearing a long dress that covered everything including your ankles while also covering your arms and shoulders. The dress was wildly blowing with the wind and for a good while, you thought you were going to fly away with the fallen leaves on the ground.
The buildings around you had gotten more abundant as you seen the library in the distance. You heard that same loud laughing that you heard whilst in the church which made you do a double take at the group of boys walking down the sidewalk.
Your eyes met with that of the boy who had puppy eyes. He was attractive but you forced yourself to look away from him as it was disgusting for you to feel attracted in any way to anyone until you were married. You crossed your arms and covered your breasts as you knew that your body was created to be distracting for men. You never wanted to tempt someone.
You happily pulled open the glass door to the library and walked in, feeling a sense of safety when you heard the door shut loudly behind you. You never enjoyed entering buildings. It was… terrifying for you.
You needed to find another book that would keep your thoughts solely on yourself and the characters. Your Bible had kept you pretty focused on living your life based on God but you couldn’t continue to read the same sentences over and over while pretending to completely understand the meaning.
Your eyes scanned the dozens of thick books that were laying with a layer of dust covering them. You grabbed one that had a slightly darker cover than the rest, reading the title before flipping the book over to read the back.
You heard the library door open and close loudly. You looked towards the noise and almost let out a gasp once you saw the boy with the puppy eyes. He was making eye contact with you.
You looked back down at the book that you were holding so tightly that your knuckles were white.
You watched as the boy approached you after a second, finally deciding to speak after a moment. “Uh… hey. I’m Johnny.” The boy finally sent you a shy little smile and you looked down.
“I’m R/n.” You stuck your hand out and the two of you shook hands. You were honestly shocked that he had even followed you into the library to talk to you. You felt your cheeks flush at the thought of him finding you so pretty that he wanted to talk to you.
“I saw you the other day at church and now you’re here…” Johnny’s voice sent something throughout you as he moved a hand to rub the back of his neck.
“Oh, well I appreciate you approaching me but I only date to marry. If that is why you approached me.” You lied through your teeth and it made you feel bad. You weren’t allowed to date. Your parents only wanted you to marry a nice man who would do whatever so long as it meant that you were out of their house by eighteen.
“Oh…?” Johnny sounded confused as he looked up at you. You were wearing your heels and were standing only a few inches taller than he was.
“I don’t mind! Really. I- can we just be friends?” Johnny felt his stomach continue to wrap itself in loops as he broke eye contact and began staring uncomfortably at the ground.
“Yes. I would like that.” You gripped the book in your hand as you began walking to the librarian’s desk. She took your book from your hand and before you knew it, the book was slid across the desk back to you.
Johnny continued walking with you even when his friends started calling him over. You looked at Johnny with the smallest of smiles, “you can go hang out with them, if you want. My parents are strict and wouldn’t appreciate me being around a boy without them.” Your words confused Johnny as he knew parents could be protective but why were yours wanting to be around for every little moment? You were almost an adult woman and you still heavily relied on your family which, don’t get Johnny wrong, wasn’t a bad thing but it also wasn’t healthy.
“Okay. When can I see you again?” Johnny wanted to ask you out on a date but knew you’d reject him given the opportunity which you had.
“Well, I do want to go shopping soon so if you want to come then?” You tilted your head to the left slightly, eyes staring back at Johnny’s with a certain glint in them.
“Yeah, that works.” Johnny murmured as he stared at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.
“Well, meet me at the Summit tomorrow at twelve.” You smiled as Johnny nodded before he began walking back towards his friends.
You stared helplessly after him, feeling as if you were doing the wrong thing by allowing him to walk off like that.
You let out a sign and continued your adventure home.
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“R/n? Are you done?” Your father peeked into your room to ask if you were done reading the Bible. You felt that you were as you had memorized almost every verse you were given. It was mind boggling how you could remember such complex things but forgot simple things such as how to cook a chicken breast. Maybe that’s why your parents cared so much about finding you a husband. You were still excited about the prospects of receiving love and giving it back to someone but that excitement had died down a lot since you’d seen Johnny that day at the library.
“Yes, sir.” You responded as you looked out the window. Rain was clinging to the glass as if it was its life force. You found it fascinating how the drops would hit the window and stick only for them to slowly slide down. It was a cycle that was endless and so fun to watch. Your father left you alone as you heard the thumping of his shoes on the stairs. You tried to ignore the feeling of random sadness that you had started to feel. New emotions were appearing now that you had the slightest taste of freedom.
You were excited, nervous, sad, happy, etc. all because of a boy that you would never ever get to be with in any capacity. You looked at your clock on the wall and stood up, deciding it would be better for you to go get a snack and then take a short cat nap after just to get some of your energy back.
You let out a sigh as you walked down the stairs and came face-to-chest with your father.
“What’s wrong, R/n?” He lifted a hand up only for you to walk past him quickly. You were nervous. You didn’t want to speak to your father as he would only make those feelings intensify. You sat down at the kitchen table with a frown appearing on your features.
Your mom looked at you with the smallest of smiles playing at her lips. Your plate was already made and placed down in front of you. You didn’t immediately start to eat as your father came into the kitchen and sat down at the head of the table. Your eyes watched his every move, a certain anger filling you as you watched your parents turn to each other and began a conversation.
Why did they get to do whatever they wanted, even when it counted as a sin, yet when you do something, you're deemed a demon. A sinner who will never see the pearly gates of heaven. Your mouth stayed sealed as you felt the anger dissipate into thin air as guilt overtook every other emotion. Those were your parents. They never sinned even when you believed they did because you were uneducated and you didn’t understand the Bible as much as they did.
“I met a boy today.” You finally spoke, deciding to tell your parents the truth. God would want you to tell them the full, honest truth.
Your mom leaned forward with a smile on her face, “oh, tell me about him! Is he a God fearing man? Does he understand that you aren’t willing to be intimate until marriage? What about the church's rules? Does he know them?” Your stomach twisted at your mom’s words. You closed your eyes before starting to slowly answer all of her questions.
“He is. He goes to church. I did tell him that and he was okay with it. I haven’t mentioned the rules yet.” You whispered out as you sat up a bit straighter.
Your mom had a look of excitement on her face as she started talking while your father leaned back in his chair. “You’ll have to speak with brother David.” You hated calling everyone your brother and sister. It was unfair and disgusting when people began marrying each other within the church. You thought you were all brothers and sisters. You shuddered but nodded finally.
“Okay, but I never said that I wanted to be with him.” You responded as you picked your fork up and scooped some of the mashed potatoes up onto your fork. They were creamy and perfect. You continued shoveling the food into your mouth while your mom talked to your father.
“Our daughter is growing up. Next thing we know, she’s going to be in the hospital delivering our first grandchild.” Your stomach cramped with the pain of imaginary childbirth. That pain soon drifted to your lower body as you crossed your legs with the pain finally disappearing as you stopped thinking about it.
You would hold off on giving birth for as long as you possibly could.
“She won’t be doing anything until she speaks to brother David.” Your father reiterated what he had said before and you leaned back into your chair. Well, you at least had your mom’s permission to find a lover. You also remembered the numerous conversations where he had told you that he would choose a husband for you, because you weren’t smart enough to pick a good man.
You finished the food on your plate and stood up from the table as you decided you would wash your own plate. You didn’t want to stay at the dinner table any longer than you already had. That was a waste of time in your opinion.
You let out a sigh and walked to the kitchen, scraping the leftover food off of your plate before setting the plate and fork on the countertop and turning the sink on. You loved playing within the soapy bubbles that always spread rapidly once the soap was added. It smelt good and made you feel good. It made you feel clean.
You grabbed the sponge off of the holder that kept it out of the sink. You added a little soap to it before setting the plate into the sink and washing it. By the time you were finished, you had wanted to go to sleep. You grabbed the towel that you and your mom normally used to dry the dishes and quickly wiped the water off.
You opened the cabinet and you slid the plate into its normal place. “Hey, R/n? How much do you want for your allowance?” Your mom yelled to you and you wiped your hands onto your floral dress as you quickly started to walk towards your mom. Your heels clicked on the floor of your home as you caught sight of your parents who were still sitting in the kitchen.
“I don’t mind but I do really want that (favorite colored) dress that has (favorite design) on it.” You looked at your mom before your father pulled his wallet out and pulled a few dollars out. It was more than enough for you to buy the dress.
“Thank you, father.” You wrapped your arms around your father excitedly. You couldn’t remember a time where you felt so happy about receiving money. Usually, you would argue some and hope that they kept whatever money it was that they were trying to give. When it came to the man who had a helping hand in your creation, you didn’t care much. You enjoyed taking money from him and reminding him of your existence otherwise, he wouldn’t remember you past being at church.
You started making your way back to your room, hoping that you could meet that Johnny boy again. Hopefully he would be willing to meet up with you again so you could talk further than you anxiously speaking words that shouldn’t have ever been spoken in the same sentence. You wished you wouldn’t have lied and told him that you date to marry.
You needed human interaction to survive. You loved being with some of your close friends while doing anything at all. You couldn’t care less what the interaction you had was so long as you weren’t alone.
You started walking back up onto the stairs as you thought about how you could get into contact with Johnny once more. You made it to the top of the stairs and your eyes landed on the cross that hung above the staircase. You smiled as you murmured the lightest of prayers, and went back up to your room to pick an outfit out for your day out tomorrow. You wanted to impress Johnny and make him see you in a light that made you seem almost innocent. Men only wanted innocent and modest women.
You picked out a dress that had long sleeves and went down to the floor. You would wear your heels and it would make the dress reach close to your ankles. You set the dress onto the chair in the corner of your room.
You changed into a more comfortable outside before brushing your teeth and hair.
Soon after, you were in your bed and whispering prayers to God, hoping he would bless you with the prospects of love.
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You were up and eating breakfast with your stomach twisting into knots. Your mom didn’t mention the slight shake of your hands and she didn’t mention how you were dressed up with makeup and all. She didn’t want him to realize and keep you home instead of letting you go out with your friend.
“Thank you for the money.” You grabbed the orange juice and took a sip from it as your mom looked at you with a smile. Your father had a slight smile but he it didn’t reach his eyes.
You were quick to leave your house, knowing you would be an hour or so early for whatever was going to happen with Johnny. You wiped your hands onto your dress and started walking slowly. You could take the time to admire your surroundings instead of trying to book it to meet up with Johnny.
He would probably be late anyways as all of the men you knew were rarely on time without a woman forcing them to get up and out of the door before a specific time. You meant no harm to Johnny but he didn’t seem like the kind of man to have someone doing that for him.
More often than not, he had dirt on his face and always seemed dirty. You would fix that, of course. You made sure to pack a small jar of water along with a handkerchief to make sure that he would get clean.
You looked around at the trees with a small smile on your face. Animals were casually running around and happily avoiding you as if their lives depended on it. Though, in hindsight, you were technically a danger to the animals mostly because humans killed them so often.
You noticed the Summit was quickly approaching within your line of vision and you quickened your pace so you could sit somewhere and wait for Johnny.
You entered the building and a shocked expression overtook your features as you tilted your head. Johnny was sitting on one of the benches and was pulling at something in his pocket. “Johnny?” You smiled as you realized he was early without you even having to ask him.
Johnny stood up and held a hand out for you as you gave him a grin. “I didn’t want to be late so I left a little earlier…” Johnny’s voice held that southern accent that made you smile. You had lived in the south your entire life but for majority of it, you lived in Utah so your accents were slightly different.
“That’s why I came early, too. Well, come on! We need to get into the shops before everyone else gets in.” You noticed the dirt had been wiped away but the grease in his hair was prevalent still.
You didn’t mind though as the two of you started walking together. “I… I’m sorry if I came off as overbearing last time. I never meant to come off like that.” You whispered out as you walked a little quicker just in case he didn’t react well to your words.
“You didn’t. I just wasn’t ready for it.” Johnny caught up with you and gave you the shyest smile you had ever seen.
“Oh… okay.” You pulled open the glass door, a smile present on your face as you walked into the building. You held the door open for Johnny with a grin on your face. You seen him pause for a moment before he walked into the store you wanted to go in. His eyes shifted from dress to dress without much thought behind his eyes.
“Oh, they still have it!” You smiled as you rushed to grab the dress that you originally wanted. You held the dress up and gave Johnny the most innocent smile he had ever seen in his life.
You skimmed through the sizes and chose yours, holding the dress under your arm as you waved an employee down. “Hi! I was wondering if you could let me into one of the dressing rooms?” You asked with a shy smile on your face.
The woman immediately nodded as the two of you began walking towards the dressing rooms. You peaked over your shoulder and saw Johnny was slowly following too. You would need to make sure he didn’t feel awkward after showing him the dress.
“My sister loves this dress. She actually cut the sleeves off because she thought it looked cuter and it really does!” The employee smiled at you and your eyes sparkled.
“Oh, that’s wonderful! I may have to do that before the summer months hit.” You laughed as the woman opened the dressing room door. She closed it after you and you looked at yourself in the mirror.
You were gorgeous.
You slipped out of the dress you were in and slid into the other dress with a smile on your face. The dress was beautiful on you and really made you look ten times better than you ever thought you would look. You always assumed the very worst of anything especially when it came to clothes.
You opened the door of the dressing room and gave Johnny a small smile as you showed him your dress. “I think it looks pretty on me. What about you?” You asked softly as you turned slightly to show him the back of the dress even though it was the same as the other countless dresses you had.
“It looks very beautiful on you.” Johnny gave you a small, breathless smile as he looked you up and down. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hugging him as you decided you wanted to give him physical affection.
It wasn’t unnatural for you to want to give people hugs as that was your love language. You slowly let go of the man and went back into the dressing room with a smile on your face. You kissed Johnny’s cheek with the softest smile on your face. You let go of Johnny completely and backed away with your lipstick stains stuck on Johnny’s face.
You walked back into the dressing room and changed back into your other dress as you quickly wanted to make it back to Johnny on the other side of the door. “Hey, Johnny? Can you come in here?” You weren’t going to be undressed in front of Johnny as you had a shirt underneath the dress because you thought of every situation, including having Johnny help you.
Johnny slowly opened the door of the dressing room and came in before closing it with his foot. “What do you need help with?” Johnny asked quietly as he kept his eyes to the ground.
“Can you zip the dress up?” You turned around and smiled as you felt his hand make contact with the shirt on your back. You heard and felt the zipper get pulled up.
You turned around and you both exited the dressing room only for you to see one of your friends from the church standing in line. You grabbed Johnny’s hand and quickly scampered away from the dressing room so she wouldn’t tell your parents that the two of you were alone in the dressing room together.
You let go of Johnny’s hand and you both stood together in the line to pay. Now, you only wanted to get out of the store and the Summit in fear of your parents finding out that you were with a boy. Your parents knew that you had gone out with a man but they didn’t know who it was and you wanted to keep it that way. You didn’t want them to unnecessarily judge him for being less fortunate than your family.
“I was thinking that we could get something to eat afterwards?” You looked at Johnny with the biggest smile on your face.
“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” Johnny mumbled out as he kept his stare at the floor. You were slightly upset that he was so shy but then again, it still made you feel happy/giddy to know that he even wanted to spend time with you, anyways.
“That is what I want and I’ll pay for anything you want.” You smiled as the cashier suddenly caught your attention. You set your dress down on the counter and paid before leaving with Johnny.
You wanted to go to one of the higher end diners that you knew of but Johnny didn’t seem comfortable with the idea so you let him choose a place. He settled on a place that was in a rougher spot in town but nothing the two of you couldn’t get through. You knew that you would get something that would be easy on the stomach so that when you got home, you would also be able to eat supper with your family.
Johnny was standing in front of you with the door to the diner held open. You smiled at him as you felt a yawn creeping up from the back of your throat. You were so tired but knew that you had gotten enough sleep so being tired didn’t make much sense. “Oh, I’m so excited. I’ve never been here before.” You made a comment before realizing that could be taken in a different way. How would the upper middle class/wealthy girl ever end up in the bad part of town with everyone else? She wouldn’t unless she was with someone who knew the bad part of town.
You sat down at a booth and Johnny followed before you started talking. You were rambling on and on. Johnny allowed you to do so and didn’t bother to add anything into the conversation besides the occasional “yeah” or “okay”. You sheepishly smiled at him after rambling and he finally spoke, “do you want something to eat?” Johnny didn’t have a lot of money and he never thought he’d be in a situation where he would need it to make a girl feel like he genuinely likes her.
“Yeah but I’ll pay! I have more than enough money for the both of us. If you want, I can slip the money to you so you don’t feel embarrassed.” You gave Johnny a genuine smile as you leaned back against the booth seat. You grabbed the money from within your purse and nodded at Johnny to grab it from under the table. You didn’t want others to shame him even more for “making” the girl pay.
You cared deeply about societal norms and everything that came with it but you also knew that you wanted to have a lover before you became old and barren. You didn’t want to lose your ability to have children before you even had a chance to have a lover.
You watched as Johnny took the money from you with a frown on his face. You grabbed two menus from the holder on the back of the table and handed one to him. “Oh, I want a salad.” You smiled at Johnny with your cheeks turning a light shade of red. You didn’t want him to see you as anything other than an attractive woman. Anything else would be considered unfair to you as you always worked and tried to present yourself as a respectable and honest young woman.
“I want a hamburger…” Johnny’s voice had gotten more confident and you were proud of that. It must’ve meant that he was comfortable around you.
You nodded at him before speaking, “oh, I enjoy hamburgers but I love myself a nice salad.” You looked down at your stomach and Johnny watched as you subconsciously sunk down into the booth at the sight of your own stomach. You forced the frown off of your face and looked back up at Johnny.
“You know, I would love to go to the library soon. If you’d like, you can come with me…” you were nervous. You had never asked a man to go on a second date with you. That was when the realization hit you that this most likely wasn’t a date and he considered the two of you only friends. You played with your fingers under the table and cursed yourself slightly as you understood that caused it.
You let out a sigh as your thoughts started making you second guess everything. You liked Johnny but you felt almost as if you were using him. You decided then that you wanted to spend more time with Johnny.
You finally end wrapped your arms around yourself. You smiled at Johnny to make him less worried. You had noticed how his face fell slightly when you wrapped your arms around yourself and you felt guilty for being selfish. Everything was so awkward now that the two of you were alone with one another.
Soon enough, a waitress had stopped by y’all’s table to take your orders and you both gave your orders before you looked back at Johnny. “I’m sorry if this is awkward. I’ve tried to make everything less awkward but I feel like I’ve made it worse.” You laughed quietly and apologized softly.
You never wanted to make him uncomfortable and you felt that you had. “You didn’t! You… come off as a little strong but that’s fine.” You heard Johnny speak up, this time louder than any time before.
You leaned back in the seat and let out a sigh, knowing that you were going to go home and cry.
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You were laying in bed with tears rolling down your cheeks. Your parents knew that you were out with Johnny and they knew that he had come into the dressing room with you. You were forced into your room and told that you wouldn’t be allowed to eat for a week and after that, you wouldn’t be allowed to see Johnny again.
You were glad that you ate before you came home and you knew that your mom would slip you snacks through the door when your father wasn’t looking. You were ashamed as you knew that everything you done was wrong. You not only hurt your parents but you angered God.
You had turned your back on the only thing that loved you for you. You felt yourself choke back another sob as you stared at the ceiling with tears rolling down your face. You grabbed a pillow and covered your face as you got off your bed. Your father was yelling downstairs and you knew the way to get your punishment over quickly.
You opened the door to your room and began walking down the stairs, understand that you would be in plenty of pain by the time it was all over. You understood that you deserved what your father was going to do to you and you were terrified. You didn’t want to be hurt but you also understood that you had to be hurt in one way or another.
It was the only way to receive God’s forgiveness for your sins.
Your feet hit the bottom of the stairs and you walked into the living room, looking at your parents. Your mom’s eyes widened and she immediately told you to go back to your room. You were sobbing again and your mom tried to reach you only for your father to physically throw her onto the couch.
Your father grabbed you by your shoulder and began forcing you towards the basement. It would only take five minutes, right? That was the usual time it took for you to finish all the punishments. You were silent throughout the ordeal as you knew that nothing you said would do anything. He would tell you to shut your mouth and you’d be punished longer than you would had you just kept your mouth shut.
You were forced onto the ground on top of a tarp-like surface that would catch any liquids that would fall during the interaction that was about to take place.
You didn’t want to fight back much as you had once before and your nose had been broken for it. You were embarrassed to admit that you stopped fighting back after that. On top of that though, God wouldn’t want you to fight back. He would want you to take whatever was given to you with grace.
You heard everything before you felt the physical pain from what you assumed to be your father’s belt.
You were close to sobbing by the third hit but your reminded yourself that you needed food. You could take quite a few hits before your body gave out but to go without eating for a week, it wasn’t something you wanted to do.
Soon enough, your father had left the basement and left you on the ground with tears in your eyes. You would never do this to your future children. Not even in the name of God.
It was too painful for you to even breath that second so why would you ever do something so heinous to someone else especially when it hurt you. You let out a silent sob as you slowly lifted yourself off of the floor. You looked at the ground and noticed the dark liquid that had formed from what happened. You gritted your teeth and began walking up the stairs, tears welling in your eyes as you struggled to walk up the stairs.
You opened the basement door and let out a choked sound before you almost slipped. You groaned as you weakly made your way to your room.
You almost let out a yell as you saw Johnny sitting on your bed with his eyes widening the second he saw you. “What happened to you?” He stood up and you closed your door quickly and slid your dresser in front of it.
You almost gave out as you covered your mouth to silence your scream. You sat down on your bed and shut your eyes tightly. Johnny put a hand on your thigh and gently tapped it as he watched your face change from one to pain to one of fear. “This is a sin.” You hissed out between clenched teeth.
“It’s not. You’re not a sinner because I touch you.” Johnny wrapped his arms around you and you let out another choked sob as you began to take your clothes off in front of Johnny.
“Help me…” your voice cracked as you begged him for help. You didn’t want to be physically hurt anymore. You couldn’t do it. “My father done this because we were in the dressing room together.” Johnny watched as you finished taking off your dress. You had since taken off the shirt underneath and Johnny was both in awe and disgust at the wounds. He’d never seen wounds so deep in a woman.
Johnny got up and begin searching your room, finding tape and an old shirt that seemed dirty. Johnny ripped the shirt and began gently tapping your wounds with it. “I’ll get you out of here. I fuckin’ promise to get you out of here.” He gave you a look of pure anger as you let out a whimper when he hit one of the wounds just right.
“Why do you got tape?” You whispered out as you tried to focus on anything and everything other than the fact that the boy you just got beat over was holding tape and cleaning your wounds.
“It’s nothin’. What’s your favorite book?” Johnny asked as he finished up with whatever he was doing.
You were already talking, hoping that you could somehow forget about the pain that came from each and every touch on your back.
“Edgar Allan Poe is my favorite author and I can’t choose between all of his books but I’d say The Raven is the best of them all.” You whispered out through gritted teeth. You finally felt Johnny gently pull your shirt down. You heard someone walking up the stairs and you immediately pushed Johnny into your closet.
Someone tried to open your door but was abruptly stopped by the dresser in front of it. “R/n? Baby, are you okay?” Your mom’s voice came through the door but you looked down at the ground.
“You said you’d talk to him about the no food thing.” Your voice cracked as you moved to sit down on your bed. You were… tired. That wasn’t the exact word for what you were feeling but it was oddly similar to what you were feeling. You thought that you wouldn’t ever grow tired of living the life that you were given but you had. The bruises were always painful and he never said sorry for all the physical and mental/emotional pain he caused both you and your mom.
Your mom had no reason to stay with him and she had no reason to fear him. She came from a wealthy family which is how your family even managed to stay in such an expensive house. Your father, a bank teller, didn’t make much and wouldn’t have been able to afford the home you lived in without your grandpa.
Your mom walked away from your room, the quietest of sobs leaving your mom. You felt terrible and felt like you were being too harsh on your poor mom. Your father “disciplined” her as well though her punishments were usually worse than yours and if she ever stood up against him for you, he would beat her until she was near death.
Johnny wanted to say something, anything but he couldn’t physically bring himself to speak. It was an awful feeling for the two of you as you sat silently in your room. You finally looked over at Johnny with a weird look on your face. “How did you get into my room?” Your voice sounded rough around the edges, breaking with every other word.
“I climbed the tree?” Johnny looked at you with a small blush coating his cheeks. You looked out your window and looked at the tree, looking back over at Johnny right after.
“I… didn’t know that was possible.” You heard Johnny stop all movement and you decided that you wanted to get sleep but you didn’t want to be alone. “I know we don’t really know each other but can you stay for a bit? My father won’t bother me for a few days and my mom will come by tomorrow afternoon.” You whispered out as you looked over at Johnny. Your nerves were absolutely on fire as you waited for his answer.
“Yeah, I can.” Johnny got off the bed and turned your light off after you asked him to stay, seeing the tiredness in your eyes. You blindly laid down on your bed and reached to grab the blanket on your bed. You were far too tired to fight with anything or anyone. You just wanted to get a few hours of sleep without being interrupted.
“I’m going to go to sleep. You can stay up and do whatever just be a little quiet because my parents will try to come in if you make too much noise.” You closed your eyes as you silently mumbled a prayer. You couldn’t clasp your hands together or get down on your knees as the pain was far too intense for you to move much.
All the adrenaline you had had disappeared by the time you settled back down into your bedroom. Johnny paused in front of you and your bed with hesitation creeping up. He didn’t want to get in bed with you in fear of you pulling away from him.
You moved over slowly and patted the bed beside you, understanding his fear of not wanting to be in bed with you. You felt the bed dip as he got in beside you and you wrapped your arms around one of your pillows and brought it down to your stomach.
You curled around it and closed your eyes as tightly as you could. Your parents wouldn’t come back to your room well into the next day and you were okay with that as you knew your mom would most likely try to make things “right” by bribing you with food or something else she knew you would enjoy.
Your father would only give you a dirty look, making sure you knew he and the men at the church all knew of your sins. Your mom would never gossip because she said that was one of the easiest sins to commit. Your father, on the other hand, loved to tell the other men about how he punished you. You had heard him go into detail about it and it made you feel upset.
Your cheeks was stained with the tears you shed earlier. You were slightly embarrassed to admit that you still cried over the things that happened. You were always told that you would grow out of being sensitive but with every passing day and birthday, you realized you wouldn’t. You still cried over the smallest of things and you couldn’t control the tears once they started. You felt that it wasn’t the biggest issue that you could have and yet, everyone else felt the opposite. They treated you differently based solely on the fact that you were a tad bit more sensitive than they were.
Your blanket was rapidly warming up as you kept it pinned tightly around you, feeling only the slightest bit of guilt for Johnny when you felt his body release a small shake. “Are you cold? Get under here with me.” You moved over and held the blanket up for Johnny to get in with you. You didn’t want to wait for very long so when he moved slower than you wanted, you blindly reached a hand out and pulled him into your bed with you.
His body hit your bed with a thump and you smiled as you turned to face the wall. You didn’t want to bother him or make him feel uncomfortable so you pushed yourself against the wall with an almost silent hiss as your back made full contact with something. You turned onto your stomach and closed your eyes with your body relaxing. You weren’t tired, not really but you needed more sleep especially after what happened.
“I’ll get you out of here. I swear to it.” Johnny whispered out from behind you into the silence of your bedroom.
You laughed quietly as you shook your head. “You can’t and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with what’s happening. This is God’s plan.” You shifted and let your foot slip out from under the blanket that shielded you from the outside world.
“This ain’t God’s plan. Man, if God wanted you to be hurt, wouldn’t he just do it himself?” Johnny asked you with a frown on his face. You couldn’t see it but you knew he wasn’t happy with you or the situation.
“I don’t know. God has people on Earth and he uses them to punish.” You responded only for Johnny to wrap an arm around you. He knew he needed comfort after being beat by his folks and assumed you would need/want that same comfort. You never did want that comfort mostly because the only people in your house was the ones who caused the pain in the first place. On top of that, the likelihood of your father stepping off of his high horse and trying to comfort you was almost as likely as seeing a unicorn.
It just wasn’t possible. He believed he was above you and your emotions which, in God’s eyes, he was. You weren’t supposed to complain as that was wrong too. Everything you had been doing as of late was wrong and you were ashamed to admit that you had willingly done most of it.
You felt the arm that was around you tighten around you more as your body shook with the silent sobs that left you. You had been so strong up until that point and now you couldn’t be strong. You were weak and would never live up to the person your parents seen when they looked at you. You were absolutely disgusting.
You closed your eyes and felt yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.
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You were woken up by someone shaking you gently. “You need to get up.” It was Johnny. He was trying to get you up and out of bed. “Come on. Both your parents left and you needa get up. We gotta go.” Johnny finally picked you up off of your bed and put your feet onto the floor of your bedroom.
“Johnny, we can’t leave? They’re my family.” You whispered out as Johnny started putting your things into a small bag.
“My folks are like yours. They ain’t worth nothin’ if they’re hittin’ you.” Johnny looked at you and gestured around. You started putting clothes into the bag before zipping it up and letting Johnny force your dresser from its place in front of your door.
Johnny intertwined your hands together and led you downstairs where the two of you left the house that you were raised in. It was unnerving and really made you feel terrible.
** One Year Later **
You put the notepad into the pocket of your apron. You were waiting for Johnny to come in so he could walk you back to your shared apartment with him. “Hey, baby!” You heard his voice as the bell above the glass door rung, telling you that someone had come in.
“Hi, lovely.” You pressed a kiss onto his cheek as you waved for him to sit at the counter. You were proud of both yourself and your lover. You made it out of whatever hell you had started in. You’d gotten yourself a psychiatrist/psychologist which you couldn’t remember which one it was but you were getting the help that you desperately need.
“Your shift was good?” Johnny asked as you poured some beer into a glass cup. You were the only one running the diner and Johnny would pay and tip you for pouring him a cup. You didn’t need that tip from him as the two of you shared finances but if you didn’t somehow, you would appreciate it.
“It was fine. I seen a man who looked very similar to my father earlier. Thought he’d finally come back to hurt me.” You set the glass in front of him. You leaned over the counter and pressed a kiss to Johnny’s cheek. You were feeling slightly relieved at the thought of your past life. You loved your parents more than anything but with the help of Johnny and a professional, you realized that God never wanted your father to beat you mercilessly.
You watched as Johnny took a sip of his beer. “We can afford for you to go to more of those sessions.” Johnny didn’t know much about your mental situation but he tried the best he could.
“Yeah, I know. He says I’m doing good for now. Says I’ve come a long way.” You walked around the counter and sat beside Johnny, laying your head on his shoulder. Your eyes were on the clock placed on the wall as you shook the thoughts from your head. “When you finish drinking that, we can leave. I’m closing tonight.” You stood up and watched as Johnny finished off the last of the beer.
He handed you the glass and you were quick to wash it. You were excited to go home and lay in bed with Johnny. You had never thought that you would be excited to just lay beside someone but once you and Johnny started to live the peaceful life, you were excited by the small things. You were looking forward to the future. To the days where you would get to see your future children running around.
You finished up with the cleaning and you began locking the diner up. “Oh, I’m so excited! I can’t wait to lay down and go to sleep.” You groaned out as you put the keys into your pocket. You would give them to Maryann in the morning when she came in. For now, you’d focus on the small family you had made for yourself that consisted of a healthier lifestyle, without the abuse.
Even if said abuse would haunt you for the rest of your life, you were at the very least, happy with yourself and the life you and Johnny had created.
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Blame [Surgeon!Calum AU] Ch.3
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Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7
Summary: What do you do if the only person you feel the connection to is the person you blamed for your sibling’s death?
A/N: This thing came up from my headass asks to wonderful Summer about neonatal surgeon!Calum au, which you can see here and here and here to understand the concept. I didn’t plan to do it at all, but the idea stuck in my mind and with support and encouragement from Summer, I came up with that. This is my first time publishing anything on Tumblr, so the feedback is extremely appreciated. Enjoy
Warnings: much less angst (I promised it’ll get better very soon), couple curse words, lack of proofreading
Chapter 3
The morning was gloomy just like Anna’s mood. She yawned again and switched off the stove, her fried eggs almost ready. She grimaced, moving them to the plate and sitting at the table. She didn’t like fried eggs, but that was basically the last piece of food in her fridge.
She remembered yesterday’s wish to cook something for dinner. Like there was anything to actually cook.
She added grocery shopping to the to-do list she was currently making up in her head and winced at too bitter taste of coffee. She ran out of milk… when exactly? Last week?
Anna wasn’t typically so bad at housekeeping. But last week’s events really messed with her routine. If things had gone differently, she wouldn’t have sat here having breakfast out of the last two eggs from her fridge. She would have been staying at Staten Island with her parents, helping around the house. She’d planned to be back to her flat the very morning of her first classes and purposefully emptied her fridge not really wishing to deal with spoilt leftovers. Now she had to adapt to new circumstances.
She finished her eggs and gave it another thought. It was Thursday morning. She was about to leave to her parents’ the next afternoon and stay at their house for as long as possible. Was it reasonable to go grocery shopping now? Or better fall back into the sinful habit of takeaways?
The very moment she was tossing between those two options, her phone vibrated shortly.
Anna took a deep breath and checked her messages. It was Ally. Anna felt her heart slowing down. Of course it was just Allie and not him.
“Jo’s cooking lasagna tonight, so I thought about grabbing some Thai food. What do u say? Noodles and wine?”
Anna couldn’t help smirking to that. Jo had an Italian Grandma, who she’d never seen in her life. Grandma Falsetti died pretty young, couple years before Jo’s Mom and Dad even met. Nevertheless Jo felt some deep connection to her late Grandma Falsetti. This connection came out in a peculiar idea that Jo had a secret talent to cook true Italian lasagna. How and when that idea settled in Jo’s eccentric mind girls had no idea. But every now and then Jo tried to prove her secret and probably yet sleeping cooking talent. She bought everything the little Italian grocery shop nearby could offer and started another crusade towards her dream dish. It would have been probably an easier task if she’d ever looked up any lasagna recipes. But Jo didn’t believe in online cookbooks and instead had an absolute faith in her spiritual connection to Grandma Falsetti. Allie and Anna never questioned that connection. They learned after the first lasagna dinner that Jo was her own fiercest critic, and every result of her desperate attempts to wake up her Italian roots was eventually thrown away. And every lasagna dinner was easily turned into a pizza dinner. Or Chinese dinner. Today it was Thai. Anna particularly adored lasagna dinners for their optimistic spirit. Jo, being a crazy passionate optimist, was never taken down by her failures in the kitchen and kept repeating that every experience was an experience. At least now she knew several wrong ways to cook lasagna, which only brought her closer to the right one.
Today’s invitation, being welcoming and well-timed on its own, also solved her grocery shopping dilemma.
Annabelle typed back “Sure! Will be there by 8. Wine’s on me” and wanted to switch off the phone but halted, her gaze settled at the contact name of the next dialogue. Her heartbeat picked up its pace again. She opened the tab, scrolled up to the very beginning and started rereading their messages. As if she hadn’t already learned them by heart.
She remember last night’s hesitation and sudden urge to text him. Still hadn’t quite understood what made her do it. And of course the first ever idea of what to type was exactly as silly as all her words said or sent to him so far.
23.46 “What would’ve happened if I’d taken a coffee?”
Even several hours later she still blushed rereading that. Why couldn’t she have started with simple “Hi” or “It’s Anna, sorry to bother”? Why her subconscious was making her look ridiculous?
23.47 “There would’ve been one coffee less on the table in the on-call room”
The speed and simplicity of his answer was calming and exciting at the same time. He stated that just like they were continuing a conversation they’d paused a minute ago and not fifteen hours. It made her almost dizzy. To the point of completely losing her mind judging by her next questions.
23.48 “That easy?”
23.49 “That easy”
23.49 “And nothing more?”
23.50 “And nothing more”
Anna dropped her phone on the table and hid her face in her hands, groaning quietly. Such a dumbass…
She recalled staring at his short unimaginative responses last night for couple minutes. After which she’d remembered about good manners.
23.54 “Sorry for the late night messages”
“Especially so stupid ones,” she thought now.
23.55 “I’ve at least 8 more hours on a shift so not so late night for me”
23.55 “Oh, ok”
The sounds, that were Anna’s reaction to that fine piece of epistolary genre, were hardly human.
23.56 “Working tmrrw too?”
23.57 “No, days off till Sat. Y?”
Anna’s hands started shaking again, almost like last night when she was typing her next message, praying at the same time for an alien invasion which would instantly block all the mobile connection and stop her from finishing her question. Whatever impediment this insane world could offer would actually do, she’d thought, cause she wasn’t able to stop her fingers from typing and feared to death to actually ask him what she was about to ask.
23.59 “Could we maybe meet up? For a coffee or sth? I really need to talk to you”
She still couldn’t believe she wrote about coffee. But as usual realisation came after she pressed send. She’d sat on her bed after that biting her fingers nervously and looking at three little dots showing on his side of the screen.
00.00 “Sure. Fri noon ok?”
Annabelle hadn’t noticed she’d hold her breath till she got that text. She’d gasped for air and almost jumped on her bed.
00.01 “Yeah, totaly”
00.02 “Let’s hold on to that, but i’ll confirm tomorrow evening in case they call me in overnight”
00.02 “Yeah, cool”
00.03 “Goodnight then”
Anna exhaled loudly rereading that last message from him for a thousandth time at least.
Why that simple sign of politeness was raising such sensation in her? Why did she see something more than just politeness behind those two words? And why everything about that man was so damn intense?
***
“It’s all about the right mood,” Jo repeated for the third time, putting her future masterpiece in the oven.
“Whose mood exactly?” mocked her Allie. Jo continued staring into the oven through the thick glass and didn't pay much attention to her friend’s words.
“Yeah, Jo, whose mood?” joined Anna, “A cook’s?”
“Or maybe guest’s?”
“No, no, no, I know! It’s all about the lasagna’s mood!” Anna started giggling, mostly because of her fair share of wine, consumed while Jo was cooking.
Jo smirked, standing up. “You are absolute bitches today, ladies! Congratulations!”
Anna and Allie raised glasses in a joky toast from the opposite side of a kitchen island.
“So, how are your parents?” Allie asked in much more serious tone.
Anna put her glass down and shrugged silently. Jo sent Allie disapproval look.
“You’ve seen my Mom in the hospital. She tries to act normal. But of course it’s hard. It’s hard for everyone,” finally said Anna. “I don’t even know what is worse, the way she acts now, or if she spent all her time alone and crying and mourning.”
“Of course second option is worse, darling,” said Jo softly.
“But shouldn’t you like… go through it. You know, anger, depression, all that stuff. I feel like she’s stuck in her denial phase. What if she’s actually harming herself that way?”
Jo was obviously lost for words. Allie sighed deeply and noted, “Everybody copes their own way. Knowing Jennifer, it’s quite understandable that she doesn’t want other people to see her grief. She’s exactly that type of woman who’d cry for three days and then stand up and go on with her life. She was never the one to dwell.”
Anna nodded, took another sip of her wine. “I get it. And you right. It’s just. I don’t know, I feel like I miss on something. The way they react… We did have time to prepare to any outcome, knowing about Grayson’s heart condition for some time. But… I sometimes feel like they overcame it in like couple hours. I know they actually didn’t, they do grieve. But the fact that they don’t really show it leaves me confused. Because I don’t understand anything. What should I do? Should I cry? Should I be angry? Should I let go and act it like there were no baby at all? I cried with my Mom the very first day, I had my gush of anger. But now…” she shook her head. “I’m literally at a loss. And my emotions are at a verge. One moment I’m completely alright, the next I’m sobbing in the middle of a parking lot. I mean, what is wrong with me?”
“Hey, nothing is wrong with you,” reassured her Jo, while Allie simply hugged Anna and stayed like that. “There is no instruction that will tell you how you should feel. Because there’s no should, Belle. You just feel, the way you do. And if it means crying in the middle of the fucking parking lot, then fine!”
Anna snorted to that, feeling tears in her eyes. “I just feel like a freak.”
“You’re not. You are hurting. It’ll take time. Just give it some time,” almost whispered Allie.
“Guess, you’re right.”
Anna took another sip of her wine and went faster, like she just remembered it. “About Saturday, there’ll be no funeral. Mom wanted cremation. So it’ll be just a little memorial-ish stuff at our house, nothing official at all. Only family and closest friends. Will you come anyway?’
“Of course, darling,” confirmed Allie. “Noon?”
“Yeah.”
They kept silence for some time, drinking and not looking at each other. Then Jo, visibly hesitating, decided to ask. “Belle, is Bryan going to come?”
Allie rolled her eyes to that question and Anna snorted.
“Yes, Jo, I’m sorry to upset you, but Bryan is going to be there. We messaged yesterday and he confirmed, that he won’t leave for school till Monday.”
“Messaged?” Jo asked in slight confusion. “You didn't talk to him?”
Anna shrugged nonchalantly, than added. “Wasn't feeling like talking.” And set her gaze at the wine glass she was twisting in her fingers.
Jo looked at Allie, who shook her head asking Jo to drop the topic. Jo widened her eyes in fake innocence when Anna sighed and gave in. “Say it,” she stated firmly.
“What?” Jo decided to continue acting innocent.
“Whatever you wanted to say. Just say it.”
“I just-” Jo hesitated for a moment, which made Anna look up at her friend in mild surprise. If there was one thing Jo could never be accused of it was hesitation. “Don't you think it's rather odd, Belle? He’s your boyfriend of more than three years and you wasn't feeling like talking to him in the probably darkest moment of you life.”
Anna frowned and looked at Allie. “Do you think it's odd too?”
Allie shook her head finishing her wine. “Can you please keep me out of this conversation?” she said, when realised that her friends’ gazes didn't move from her.
“No?” Anna raised her eyebrows.
Allie rolled her eyes at Jo and looked at her empty glass. “Well, I guess, it is a little odd. I guess if I was in the relationship I would want the guy to take care of me in such moment,” she shrugged. “But everybody's different. And if you feel like being alone, it seems totally fine to me,” she concluded, stressing her last words and looking at Jo again.
“Well, I'm sorry for being so hard-heartedly honest, but it doesn't really seems fine to me,” stated Jo.
A loud sound struck in the settled silence. Anna looked back at the couch where she left her phone. “To tell the truth, Jo, Bryan is definitely the last of my problems right now.”
She stood up and stepped to the couch to check the message. She was intended to keep her face emotionless not to give much away (mostly because there was literally nothing to give away), but she couldn't help her smile when she saw the contact name.
“Still up for that coffee?”
Her fingers started typing before she even thought about her reply. She waited a moment till he sent her an address of a little coffee shop next to the NY public library, switched her screen off, went back to the kitchen island and realised that girls’ gazes were on her all that time.
“What?” she played dumb under Jo’s questioning look.
“Who was that?” Jo obviously had a hard time trying to suppress her curiosity. Anna looked at her, then at Allie, who as usual wasn't giving much away, but was definitely interested too.
“That was…” Anna stumbled. How would she explain all of it?
“Don't say that was nobody!” exclaimed Jo. “I swear, Belle, if you say it was nobody, I'll steal you phone and look.”
Anna was taken aback. “Hey, chill, would you? Why does it even matter?”
“Because you smiled,” quietly said Allie and Anna felt almost betrayed.
“And not just smiled! You smiled your special little smile,” continued Jo as she started to slightly bounce on her tiptoes impatiently.
“Special smile? I don't have any special smiles, what are you even talking about?”
“You do,” noted Allie matter of factly.
“See? Thank you, Allie! Now spill the beans!”
“There's nothing to spill. It was Dr. Hood.” She took a bottle and poured herself more wine, but mostly just to occupy herself with something cause she suddenly felt awkward.
“Dr. Hood?” Jo repeated in disbelief and Allie almost choked on her wine. “Is it that hot doctor we saw staring at you at the hospital?”
“Well, yes,” Anna confirmed, still not risking to look at her friends.
Jo shrieked and spinned throwing her arms up in the air. “I knew it!” she yelled looking at Anna with excitement. “I knew there was something between the two of you!”
“There’s literally nothing between us, I swear,” Anna said holding her hands up in calming gesture.
“Wait, first things first! How did it even happen that you text?” bursted Allie being as excited as Jo, to Anna’s utter bewilderment.
“Well, he gave us his card, you know, just in case, when Mom only got to the hospital,” Anna explained.
Jo gave a whistle. “So it was you who texted first? I can say that I've never been so proud of you, my little Belle!”
Anna sighed and hid her head in her hands. “It’s absolutely not like that, Jo!” she groaned. “Can you not, please?”
“Then just tell us!” begged Jo.
“I shouted at him, okay?” Anna confessed, still hiding her face. Then she took a deep breath, took her hand off of her face and met two shocked stares. “The gush of anger I had,” she started explaining. “It was the very night Grayson died. I'd been hiding in the hospital corridors for some time, needed some privacy to bail my eyes out, you know. And then I decided to come back to my Mom's room and I saw him in a hall. And… it was really awful. I blamed him for everything, said he hadn't saved my brother, that it was his fault. Then started crying again. An absolute mess.”
Anna shook her head on the unwanted memory.
“What did he do?” Allie asked softly.
“Nothing much. He held me the whole time I was crying, ‘s all.”
The room was silent for some time.
“So why did you text him?” finally asked Jo.
Anna looked up at her. “I asked him to meet me. I need to apologize properly for what a horrible person I was to him.”
“Anna,” Allie gasped putting her hand on Anna’s back and stroking her soothingly. “You aren't a horrible person. You were devastated by your loss. What you did is more than understandable.”
Anna chuckled bitterly. “It wasn't actually the only shit thing I did.”
“What?”
“The day you came to visit my Mom, I was sitting on the bench in front of the hospital that morning. I was sitting there every morning before entering, actually. Needed a moment to myself, you know. So he sat next to me and offered coffee he’d bought for me. And I just shoved him off like a total bitch. And he just tried to be friendly.”
“Belle, I'm sure he understands,” tried to reassure her Jo.
“Of course, he does,” Annabelle agreed. “But that's not the point at all. The way I acted, that's not me. I'm not that person and I need him to know it. I can't explain, but I just can't leave it like that. I owe him an apology no matter what reasons I had.”
“When are you meeting?” Jo asked a moment later.
“Tomorrow noon,” she answered as Jo’s oven alarm went off.
Jo bounced again in anticipation and picked potholders. “Finally!” she breathed out, opening the oven.
They understood something was wrong as soon as Jo started cutting it in portions. The dish was basically breaking under her knife with loud crunching. Allie and Anna looked at each other too scared to say a word. Jo groaned, mumbled something about “the fucking fuck” and threw another result of her cooking into her trash bin. Then she looked up at girls and asked, looking tired and pissed, “So, what did you bring today?”
“Thai,” confessed Allie with shy smile. “But we need to heat it up.”
“Well, you know how to use my microwave,” Jo shrugged waving to Anna. “Belle, give me that damn bottle, will you? I need to drink up that disaster.”
Annabelle giggled, handing Jo wine and smiling at the visibly lightening mood. She couldn't help but thought that no matter what was happening in her life, lasagna dinners would always be there to save her from all the troubles. And at that moment she couldn't be more grateful for that.
***
“Are you sure you wanna go today?” her dad asked for at least fourth time. “Traffic’s gonna be awful.”
Anna smiled. “Dad, it's New York, traffic’s gonna be awful no matter when I decide to come.”
He chuckled lightly. “Okay, sweetheart. You gonna stay for the whole weekend?”
“No, actually I was about to stay till Tuesday. I've got first class in the afternoon so I could leave in the morning.”
“You sure?”
“Well, yeah. As long as you okay with me bothering you for so long,” she joked.
“Don't be silly.” Annabelle could see her Dad’s frown right now and smiled wider. “I just thought as it’s your last weekend before school starts you’d want…”
Anna didn't let him finish. “There’s no other place I’d rather be right now, Dad.”
“Sure thing, Anna.”
“I'll text you when I set off, ‘kay? Don't start dinner without me!”
“Can't promise you anything, sweetheart. Your Mom’s cooking curry tonight so…”
“I won't speak to you ever again if you start without me!” she threatened, giggling.
“I'm just saying I wouldn't waste much time for packing if I were you,” Mark teased again.
“I’m leaving right now,” Anna heard her father chuckle again and the sound made her heart shrink. Or maybe it was the sight of a tall man in black shirt and black jeans waiting for her outside of a quite busy coffee shop. Anna felt her hands starting to shake. “Dad, I have to go, but I'll text you later.”
“Okay, darling. I love you.”
“Love you too. See you tonight,” Anna mumbled and finished her call.
That very moment he saw her and put his phone he was scrolling through while waiting in the pocket of his jeans.
Anna felt her heart setting off in a running pace. Say Hi or Hello? Smile or better not? What was more appropriate in conversation with a man she’d accused of the most horrible things?
“I thought of buying us coffee, but realised you’ve never actually told me,” he said with a ghost of a smile on his lips, saving her from struggling with her first words.
“Never told you what?” Anna felt lost at this.
“What coffee you prefer,” he explained and let smile touch his face finally.
Anna widened her eyes half because of the fact that she didn't understand that herself, half because he wanted to buy her coffee even after she shoved him off the last time he did. “Er, cappuccino would be fine, but you don't have to buy me coffee,” she shook her head frowning a little.
He shrugged and stepped into the coffee shop without sparing her another word. Anna followed him just to see the barista noticing him and raising an eyebrow in a silent question.
“I was right,” told him Dr. Hood leaving Anna even more at a loss.
The barista guy smirked and handed him two coffee cups, giving Anna an examining look.
Dr. Hood turned back to Anna and gestured her to go back to the street.
“There are tables in the park across the street,” he showed her. “We can sit there and talk. And here's your cappuccino,” he handed her a cup and stepped towards the said park.
“So you did buy me coffee,” she concluded looking at his back and following him suit.
He shrugged and Anna thought she heard him snort. “It was a lucky shot. You just seemed like a cappuccino type,” he said and looked at her as they entered the park.
“A cappuccino type,” Anna murmured to herself having close to no clue what he was actually talking about. What was a cappuccino type after all?
“Well thanks for the coffee,” she said as they settled at a table next to a big tree and as far away from the walking paths as possible. She noted his lips twitch a little. “And thank you for not commenting on it further,” she sighed, looking away from him.
“Any time,” he answered, took a sip of his coffee and asked, “How have you been?”
Anna shrugged. What could she answer to that? Was she alright? She wasn’t even sure what alright was anymore. She looked back at him, taking slightly aback by the unexpected seriousness in his eyes. She shrugged again and saw his nod of understanding. He wasn’t looking at her with sympathy or pity, wasn’t judgemental or embarrassed by the pain behind that shrug. He just understood. And surprisingly it was exactly what she needed right now.
“So why did you wanna see me?” he asked after another minute of sitting there in silence.
Anna felt tears coming up to her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him, not again. She gathered all the courage she had left in her and breathed out, “Dr. Hood, I-”
“It’s Calum,” he interrupted her with a shy smile.
Anna looked up at him again. “Um, what?”
“My name is Calum,” he repeated, his smile widening. “We’re no longer in doctor-patient relationship. Truth to be told we’ve never actually were. But anyway, call me Calum, please. Dr. Hood still has me a little uncomfortable,” he admitted.
“Oh, okay,” Annabelle mumbled, cursing herself again for the stupid childish answers. “Well, Calum, I just wanted to apologize,” she stated, looking at her hands, started picking on her nail polish out of nervousness. “For the night it all happened and for the Wednesday morning too. I had no right to blame you for what happened, I know you’ve done everything that was possible. And I’m sorry I was a total bitch to you when you just tried to be friendly. And-”
“Hey, don’t,” he stopped her again and suddenly Anna felt his right hand gripping on hers. His hand was hot and soft and so big, with three letters tattooed between his thumb and index finger. He waited till she looked back at him and said softly, “You don’t have to apologize. I totally understand.”
Anna shook her head and leaned back on her chair, her hands are still in his grip. She noticed with her side sight a little girl in pretty pink dress running excitedly around a woman several meters behind Calum and felt tears coming up again. “It doesn’t matter if I had a reason or not. I’m thankful you understand, but I still had no right to act like I did towards you. And I’m so sorry that I did. And I really hope you could forgive me, cause honestly words cannot even start to explain how grateful I am for everything you did.”
Calum smiled again and started with, “Anna, you-” but this time he was interrupted.
Two tiny hands gripped on his left arm and a chubby cheek pressed to his tattooed biceps. Calum turned his look to the little intruder. Annabelle freed her hands from his grip and looked at a little girl in confusion. Pretty pink dress with a flowery print told her it was the same girl she noticed couple minutes ago. The girl was about three, had pretty curls the color of milk chocolate and big blue eyes, which were fixed on Calum’s still slightly surprised face.
“And who is that here?” he chuckled, big smile on his face.
“It’s just me, doctah Cawum,” she replied and giggled, not looking anywhere but at him. “I made a wish I meet you today,” she revealed shyly and giggled again.
“Seems like a real magic to me,” Calum chuckled again, standing up from his chair and bending down to the girl. “Now, I guess I deserve my hug.”
The girl laughed happily, as he lifted her up and spinned couple of times, squeezing her in his massive arms. They stopped and the girl pulled back a little, settling comfortable on his hip. That was exactly when a woman the girl was with came up to them, she looked a little embarrassed and angry.
“Aubrie, how many times do I need to tell you not to run away from me?” she nagged little girl in a rather soft voice.
“But I saw doctah Cawum!” Aubrie stated, like it was totally indulging. The woman snorted, looking at the man holding her little daughter. “Of course you did,” she sighed. “Hello, Calum! And I’m sorry we interrupted you,” she looked apologetically at Anna.
Calum hugged her with his free arm with no hesitation. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m always glad to see you. This is Anna, by the way,” he looked back at Annabelle. Anna smiled at the woman. “And these are Laura and my favourite patient Princess Aubrie,” he introduced them, bouncing Aubrie on his hip.
“I’m not a patient, I’m your friend!” exclaimed Aubrie and hid her face in his neck.
“Oh, I’m so silly! I’m sorry, princess, of course you’re my friend!” he agreed easily and moved his gaze to Laura. “You were at the hospital? How is our little girl?”
“Yeah, we were at the usual checking. Dr. Irwin said she’s absolutely okay. Even approved on dancing classes,” she smiled, stroking Aubries curls.
“Will you come to my concert when I be dancin’ pwincess?” Aubrie asked, pulling away and looking at Calum with eyes full of adoration.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he promised, hugging her again.
“Okay, angel, we have to go,” her mother sighed. “Hug doctor Calum goodbye and let’s go.”
“No, Mama,” whined Aubrie and clung on Calum’s neck with both hands, making him laugh quietly.
“Remember you wanted to buy those beautiful cups for your garden party? If we go now we’ll probably have enough time to do it today,” traded Laura with a mischievous grin.
Her trick obviously worked, as Aubrie let go off Calum’s neck with a sad expression on her face.
“Will you come to my garden party?” she asked him, before letting him put her down.
“Well, if your Mom and Dad are okay with that,” he hold back for a moment.
“Come on, Calum, you know, you are always a welcome guest in our house,” smiled Laura at him.
“I will most definitely come,” Calum promised to the little girl in his arms. “When is it going to be?”
“Next Saturday, at around three,” said Laura, as Aubrie struggled with answering, probably not very good with days and time yet.
“Then I’ll see you there, right, princess?” Calum asked Aubrie, and she nodded excitedly, glowing with happiness.
He hugged Aubrie one more time, they said their goodbyes with Laura, who shared one more smile with Anna, and with that they left.
Calum stood there for a moment more, looking after them, and then sat back down on his chair, shy smile still on his lips.
“Sorry about that,” he mumbled, looking at Anna.
“That’s okay,” she smiled back, even though her heart was aching from the sight of a happy little kid. “Did you treat her?”
Callum hummed admittedly.
“Tell me about it,” Anna asked.
Calum frowned, her request took him by surprise.
“Well, Aubrie was one of my first patients after I started operating after couple of years of residency. She was born premature and had a heart condition.”
“Like my brother?”
“Not exactly,” he shook his head, his stare not leaving Anna’s face for a moment. “There was a little problem with her cardiac valve, it’s rather easier than what your brother had. She was operated on the third day after her birth and spent almost four weeks after that in an NICU. She needs regular check ups now. Although her chances of living a healthy life without any other operations are very high.”
“You aren’t the one who checks up on her?” Anna asked, slightly confused.
“No, my job is finished after the first month of their life,” Calum explained. “Then we pass our little patients on to pediatrics. But I do like to follow their progress,” he finished quietly.
Anna nodded, not really knowing what to say to that.
“Why’d you ask?”
She looked straight at Calum and felt a lonely tear fall down her cheek.
“I don’t really know,” she said, wiping a tear with her hand and smiling apologetically. “Just needed some good story, I guess.”
“Hey,” Calum stretched his arm forward and grabbed her hand again, making her shake a little. “There’ll be plenty of them in your life. Just give them some time.”
She smiled back at him and sniffed. She squeezed his hand in silent thank you and offered, “Do you, maybe, wanna walk a little? Of course, if you’re not-”
“I’m not,” he smirked, standing and pulling her up by her hand, “whatever you wanted to say next.”
Anna let him snake his arm around her shoulders and lead up the street. She was dazed by his easiness and by the way her heart felt lighter. She couldn’t even try to explain all the things she felt, too overwhelmed by his presence. But she was absolutely positive about one thing. She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with his arm around her shoulders.
Taglist: @dancingonanemptywallet @5saucewho
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xxbyimm · 6 years ago
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Enya’s Unexpected Journey - Chapter 22
For other chapters or this journey, click here: Enya’s story or Masterlist
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So there it is, finally. The next chapter to this journey. Kudos to @deepestfirefun, @pixiedurango and @thestorybookmistress for listen to me whine and giving me tips on how to make this right. Also lots of love to my wonderful D&D dungeons master B. for proofreading this and helping me with the plot! You’re awesome. Also my bestie D., I love you for being the best critic in the world. 
Enjoy.
Chapter 22
Summary: Enya takes on the dragon Smaug.
Taglist: Since my taglist is old and doesn’t work anymore, I try to remember people as best as I can. I’m sorry If you’re being tagged unwillingly, or if you wish to be tagged, let me know. @deepestfirefun, @oakenshieldsmizimel @nelswp @bellastellaluna @leah-halliwell92 @jotink78 @evyiione @fergrigori @jessieray98
Warnings: As always, Enya’s swearing.
‘Oakenshield! LET ME OUT!’
Seriously. If Smaug hadn’t killed that stubborn dwarf king already, she definitely wanted the honor. Enya groaned and shoved herself against the marble door. All that talk about accepting her and her powers, allowing her to do her thing and then instead of trusting her on this… LOCK HER UP?!
Enya gritted her teeth. Although she couldn’t see a damn thing in here, she felt her cheeks burning hot with shame. What could have been a faulty door, the lack of Thorin’s presence, his voice promising her to get her out as fast as possible made it all too clear. She felt stupid for walking into his trap, for thinking he would finally stop overprotecting her. She should have known better, but there she was, in the narrow corridor that Thorin earlier had described as the fastest path down into Erebor. And the worst was that this was all due to the fact that her brain had been too infatuated by their earlier lovemaking to pay attention…..
‘Oh girl, but it WAS something…’ her mind mused.
Enya heaved a sigh. Yes it was. She really didn’t need her stupid brain to remind her how fantastic sex with Thorin was, she remembered quite well on her own. But right now, the dim and airless void made her nervous. She never really enjoyed being in the dark, especially not in a hallway that made her claustrophobic. In other words, she had to find a way out. She quickly filled her palms with fire and warm orange light filled the small passage, allowing herself to explore her surroundings. She paced into the direction from whence they came and cursed under her breath when she met a dead end. Great! Thorin must have closed the entrance after her. Enya pushed against the flat marble surface and growled when it didn’t give in. She studied the exterior by tracing her fingers over the stone, in an effort to discover a crack. This was absolutely ridiculous. She came through a door in this specific spot just five minutes ago. There had to be an opening somewhere!
But there was nothing.
‘Strange…’ she whispered and turned around. Since one access point was Thrain’s royal study, she suspected this passage was made for the Durin family only. And since one Durin locked her up in the first place and the remaining two weren’t around to save her ass, she could conclude that no living soul was going to find her here.
‘Except if Dís shows up in Erebor…’ her mind chatted. ‘But that seems highly unlikely, don’t you think?’
Yep, so just one stubborn dwarven king knew she was here and he wasn’t going to retrieve her anytime soon. Ugh. Those were definitely not encouraging thoughts when you needed your mind to come up with smart suggestions…
Enya looked around. With her flames lighting up the way, Enya discovered the corridor was small, but not as claustrophobic as it had felt a few moments ago. She heaved a sigh. The walls consisted of plain marble stone, but above her head there was a row of richly decorated ones, displaying the royal bloodline and scenes from their everyday life. The ceiling was made out of plain marble again, the surface so smooth one would think it actually was one piece. Enya arched an eyebrow, not daring to think about how it got up there without the techniques of the modern world. Even this little passages like this showed her the mighty skills of the dwarven race.
The floor consisted of a beautiful mosaic image, the bluish colors shining bright in the light of Enya’s flames. She followed its trail towards the other end while revering in its beauty. The image depicted the Durin’s folks’ royal bloodline. Under her feet she discovered Durin I, also called ‘the deathless’, and he was followed by his successors Durin II, III, IV, V and VI. Then there came a Náin I and Thráin I, and after them Thorin I, who (if she remembered this right) decided to leave the lonely mountain to find more fortune in the Grey Mountains. Enya walked along the blue line and admired the craftmanship. Ah, there was Dáin I, Thorin’s great grandfather, the one who got slain by a cold-drake. She glanced over to the other forefathers and shivered. Too many lives of the line of Durin were taken by dragons. She had to prevent Smaug from putting yet another name on that list…
Finally she reached Thorin’s grandfather Thrór and stood still for a moment. Thrór was the last one on the family tree… This couldn’t be right?! Enya knitted her brows together. ‘Oh! Right, kings.’ She then muttered to herself. ‘Thorin and Thráin weren’t kings at the time the lonely mountain…’
The words lingered on her lips, but she didn’t dare to finish her sentence, suddenly feeling wary it could bring bad luck to speak of those bad events. She bit her lip and got on her knees. She carefully let her flame floating in the air before she started exploring the patterns of stones under her. There had to be a button, a handle, or at least a hint in here. Because, after all, she found it highly unlikely that Erebor consisted solely of hidden doors. She refused to believe that there wasn’t a way out. Her heart stopped a few times when her fingers found a few rough edges, but other than that nothing seemed out of the ordinary. She glanced over the next few meters of floor and established that the change a clue was hidden in the floor, was pretty slim. Maybe the carvings on the walls contained a sign. She got up and began her search.
After what felt like hours of concentrated work she crashed down against the wall and rested the back of her head on the cool marble. This was ridiculous! There had to be a way out, and she currently was too blind to see the obvious. Or… the other possibility made her a bit apprehensive. What if there wasn’t one and she was going to perish in here? Enya quickly dismissed the thought again and rolled her eyes. Although Thorin was a selfish stubborn bastard, he wouldn’t let her die in here. At least, that was if he hadn’t lost his sanity today. Absentmindedly she stared at her fire crawling back into her hand again, the flames calmly licking her palm. Then her gaze shifted at the image that was carved into the stone above her.
Could that be…?
Balin had told her all about the history of Durin’s folk, and especially the magnificence of Thrór’s throne. The throne which contained the Arkenstone. She shot up, a hesitant smile displayed on her lips. Oh, she should have seen this one earlier. She had been a fool after all, and a blind one too. Enya stood on her toes and her fingers found the small oval-shaped carving, gently giving it a push. The stone protested, the tiny mechanism behind it was probably rigid after not being used for a few decades. Enya heard a soft click and prayed that the clever dwarven engineering had passed the test of time. With a squeaking sound the piece of marble before her made way for a moderately sized opening. She took a deep breath and stepped through it.
At that exact moment, the mountain under her came to life. The majestic structure shook in its foundations, almost causing Enya to lose her balance. Her flames shot from her palms into the dark void as she steadied herself against the wall. She frowned when her surroundings lit up. She had expected another (rather endless) corridor, but she actually had stepped onto an old spiral staircase, that stretched down as far as she could see. The stairs were, just like the passage, made from plain marble. Beautiful marble branches that were carved into the railing stretched out before her, inviting her to come along. Enya took a few steps down, enjoying the stone patterns gliding smoothly under her hands. She smiled when her fingers discovered a tiny marble rose, sticking out from one of the branches. To be honest, one wouldn’t expect that dwarves were so fond of nature to take time to create a masterpiece like this. Of course, they were capable of making the most exquisite and delicate things, but more often the inspiration did not lie in the wonders of the wild. She took another step down and peered into the darkness beneath her. The staircase went further down. She heaved a sigh. Well, she probably should-
Another violent roar rumbled through the stone and she clenched onto the railing. The mountain seemed to groan in protest of the events that took place down below her. Enya took a deep breath, a shiver passing through her spine. She knew all too well what was causing this sound, and it certainly was no earthquake. There was no time left to spare, she had to move. She had to be there before all hell was going to break loose.
Dragon.
Enya descended the stairs as fast as she possibly could go, consequently tripping over her own feet. The mountain started to growl around her again and she groaned in response. If she kept going in this fast but yet too slow pace, the whole company would be nothing more than a pile of ash once she finally arrived. ‘Brilliant idea, Thorin…’ she murmured while she regained her balance and proceeded her way down again. ‘Depriving your followers of the one thing that can save their and your rather perfectly tight ass! Splendid notion! If you won’t get scorched by that damned fire drake, then I will-’
A surprised shriek left her mouth as she missed a step and collapsed down the stairs. Her body froze and her hands automatically shot forward, in an attempt to protect herself and break the fall. She closed her eyes and readied herself for the inevitable smack. A crackling sound reached her ears and the air got pushed out of her lungs as she crashed down on the stone steps. A sharp pain shot through her body as it received the blow and Enya hissed. Her muscles relaxed and for a moment she laid there, her eyes closed and her body still.
‘Babe, instead of getting all worked up, you should probably watch where you are going…’ her mind told her. ‘Or did you intend to study the marble of this specific step?’ ‘Oh, shut up.’ she grumbled. ‘I’m so done right now.’
Well, fuck. That hurt.
But not as bad as she had thought it would. The surface under her was hard and cold as hell, but not quite as uneven as she expected. Enya finally peered through her lashes and heaved a sigh. Her instinct had, once again, saved her from disaster. She was laying, face down, on a whimsical ice sculpture. The ice was dramatically draped across the stairs, a sturdy edge preventing her from sliding any further. She scrambled herself together and got on her knees as she studied her own piece of art. ‘Well, if anyone asks what I was up to today…’ she murmured. ‘I was producing art that would make any sculptor proud.’ She shook her head and heaved a sigh. Alright, she could cross “making a life sized sculpture” off her bucket list, but the real question here was how on earth she could get down without tripping over another thousand times…
A devious smile appeared on her lips when she watched some water trickle down onto the next step. Of course. When life gives you lemons…
You’d better make one hell of a lemonade.
She crawled towards the edge of her sculpture and reached out. Water dripped from her hands, first slowly but then accelerating into a waterfall. Enya turned her hands a little, guiding the water into a stream and freezing the fluid into an icy slope. She waited until she believed her water had moved down enough.
Enya took a deep breath, ignoring the nervous pit that grew in her stomach. It had been at least one (and probably a hell of a lot more) decade since she had gone down a slide, and those structures back home were a hundred percent safe. She peered down her self-made version and made a face. She had no idea where she was going, or if the staircase further down was destroyed. She had to be totally bonkers to do this.
Well. Yeah. Was there really a choice? It couldn’t be worse than going through portals, could it? She just was going to slide down and in the process making around a hundred loops or so. Her icy slide should be safe enough, she had to trust her own engineering on this one. Enya nodded slowly and took another deep breath before lowering herself down on the slope.
Alright. Now all she needed was a gush of wind to keep her going. She closed her eyes, focusing on the air around her. She exhaled slowly and a soft breeze pushed her forward. Her nails dragged halfheartedly over the slope, a part of her being not willing to let go yet. An unspoken question burned on her lips.
‘What if I will fall?’ ‘But oh, darling…’ her mind purred in response. ‘What if you fly…’
After the mountain would be reclaimed and Fíli and Kíli had rejoined them, she would definitely ask them to do this again. She knew those devious bastards would enjoy this at least as much. The wind blew through her hair and Enya threw her hands up, a light-hearted giggle escaping her lips. This was awesome. The slide took her round and round, swiftly taking her down to her destination. Enya watched the scenery on the railing gradually change. The flowers disappeared and the branches came together into one thick stem, which had a fantastically pattern carves into it. She went too fast to distinguish every little detail of the trunk, but she got the overall idea. The railing seemed to be, in her mind anyway, a tree. And since she only passed the tree trunk anyway, she guessed it was a long way down. She could only hope her handiwork reached that far too.
By the time the railing had shifted into tree roots (that were holding marble rocks and even tiny bones) Enya had stopped already once to peer down the staircase. Her head was spinning from the last 500 loops she just made (alright, it probably weren’t that many, but sure as hell felt like it) and a little break was much needed. ‘So far for my hurry…’ she murmured to herself. Getting there in time was one thing, but if it meant her dazed brain would see three dragons instead of one, she doubted she would be of any aid. She raised a hand and released a large flame into the void. She watched it floating down and tried to establish the number of loops she had to endure. ‘Okay.’ She muttered. ‘At least five. We should be fine.’ She sat down on the slope again and a short blow from behind set her off again. She took a deep breath and counted as she tried to not give attention to this weak feeling in her stomach. The tree roots on the railing seemed to change, they grew thinner and thinner until most lines disappeared, only to be replaced by rocks and stones. Enya grinned. This meant she was getting closer towards her destination, whatever that may be. Probably not the dungeons, but another place the royal family needed quick access to. The heart of the mountain, the most important place in dwarven society…
Her heart made a leap when her flame, floating just a few loops before her, seemed to stop. At last, her sliding journey was coming to an end! She slowed down and then got up to descend the last few steps on foot. Her legs felt a little wobbly, but other than that, she could conclude this new manner of transportation had more or less passed the test. She motioned her fire to follow her and gazed around the room. The staircase leaded into a round space, again closed off. Enya heaved a sigh and studied the walls, in search for another hidden doorway. But, luckily for her, this side of the passage wasn’t so secret. A massive door, seemingly consisting of the stone from this very mountain, stood before her. Enya gripped the sturdy ring that was hammered into the stone and pulled. When the door didn’t oblige, she threw herself against it and pushed.
Nothing!
She rolled her eyes, wondering if these “not knowing to push or pull” problems were strictly reserved for the beings from her world, or if the women in middle earth came across likewise situations.
‘Probably not.’ Her mind mused. ‘But they encounter other problems like-’ Enya shook her head and focused on the door instead. Maybe with the right amount of force… She inhaled slowly, her senses extremely aware of the movement in the air around her. The hairs on her arms stood up, the atmosphere grew heavy, prickling with anticipation like a silence before the storm. Then she released her power and with a violent roar the door blew open, the hinges squealing. With a deafening smack stone crashed into stone and Enya stepped over the threshold.
Indeed, she had winded up somewhere down in the forges. Four enormous round furnaces stood in a row at the right side of the room. On the left, the space was closed off by a latticework of iron pillars. In the middle of the room stood four dwarves and one hobbit. Enya heaved a relieved sigh. She hadn’t expected to find the company so quickly again, but there they were: looking frightened, but yet unharmed and-
Wait a minute.
Where was their charming leader? And Dwalin? Or Nori? And what about Bifur and Gloin? Where was everybody? Enya took a sprint towards the company. The area behind the iron latticework seemed to be a large hallway and in the distance she heard Dwalin shouting Thorin’s name, accompanied by the smashing sound of an axe into something metal. Her heart skipped a bit. ‘Thank mahal!’ Balin exclaimed. ‘I thought we had to stand up against that vile thing without our fire witch!’ ‘Not a chance in hell. ’Enya huffed. ‘I just took a detour. Where is everyone?!’ ‘We don’t know.’ Dori said softly. ‘We came here separately. I haven’t seen Gloin and Bifur yet, and Thorin got into trouble with Smaug. I believe Nori and Dwalin are trying to save him.’ ‘WHAT?!’ she shrieked. ‘Enya!’ Bilbo said, sounding as relieved as scared. ‘Thank goodness you’re alright. We need your help!’ he fretted. ‘Bilbo, what is he doing?!’ Enya interrupted while grasping the halfling by his shoulders. She knew it was rather rude of her, but right now was not the time to exchange niceties. Balin merely sadly shook his head, and even sassy Bilbo couldn’t provide her with a sensible answer. They all looked very shaken.
‘Damnit!’ Enya pushed Bilbo aside and ran towards the other side of the room. ‘What the hell did he-’ The ground under her shook and from the pit emerged a deep growl. When she passed the iron pillars into the hallway, she saw -thank mahal- Thorin climbing over the edge of a shaft, aided by Nori. They ducked when a great fire blazed from the pit just behind them. ‘Go! Go!’ Thorin shouted at his comrades and the trio ran as fast as they could towards the forges, visibly terrified by the clamor that was coming from the depths. Enya stopped in her tracks, waiting for them.
Because when the most hardened warriors in middle earth make a run for it, you know its fucking serious.
‘Enya!’ Thorin growled, grabbing her as he passed by. ‘Get out of here! NOW!’ Oh yeah, let’s pretend she was the vulnerable component of the group. Enya just narrowed her eyes and folded her arms, grateful that her king was alive, but fuming over the fact he no doubt did some really stupid and/or risky things without her. Thorin caught her gaze and glared at her, but she didn’t give in. His emerald orbs, usually full of emotion and giving her a glimpse of his thoughts, seemed more cold and distant. In fact, there was a dullness in them that she hadn’t seen earlier and it made her feel quite uncomfortable. She shook off the shiver that shot through her spine and finally blinked. When she caught his gaze again, Thorin slowly exhaled and it almost looked as he came back to himself. ‘The plan is not going to work.’ Dwalin said, turning to the both of them. ‘These furnaces are stone cold.’ ‘He’s right.’ Balin agreed as he stepped forward. ‘There’s no fire hot enough to set them ablaze.’
A low groan escaped her lips and Enya sighed. What? Had these stupid dwarves learn nothing during this trip?! What was the whole point of her tagging along on the journey if they weren’t going to profit from her powers? ‘Have we not?’ she quipped and paced towards the nearest furnace. ‘Let’s see what I can do for you, gentlemen.’ She ignored the echoes in the distance getting louder and stretched out her hands. If they wanted a great fire, they could get it. An explosion of flames shot from her palms, the heat radiating against her face. The fire engulfed the first furnace and she smiled when it brought to life with a loud rumble.
One down. Only three to go.
But there was no time. The sound of stone crumbling into dust made all of them look between the pillars and they saw Smaug climbing from the pit, his claws crushing the walls. The fire drake crawled over the edge and halted before the pillars. The latticework was huge, but far too narrow to fit a dragon. Enya turned on her heels, locking eyes with the fire drake. Smaug opened his mouth, ready to pour his flames over them. In the depths of his throat she could see the fire boiling, fuming, ready to be unleashed. But she was ready for it too. Enya shifted her legs further apart to steady her position as her hands reached out to block every single flame that would come from those enormous jaws. She refused to break eye contact and watched as the dragon inhaled. ‘TAKE COVER, GO!’ Thorin shouted to the rest of the company and they made their way towards the pillars to protect themselves from a fiery death. Enya controlled her breathing, braced herself and-
Next thing she knew, she was knocked off her feet by something sturdy and heavy. ‘I tried to keep you safe!’ Thorin hissed, pushing her against the floor as the flames blazed just above them. ‘Please just for one time LISTEN to me!’ ‘No, YOU LISTEN!’ she bit back as she forcefully rolled on top of him and kept him pinned down. ‘He can’t beat me at my own game, Thorin. His flames won’t hurt me.’ ‘I won’t take that risk!’ Thorin raged. ‘Stick to the plan.’ ‘Oh, you mean the plan you forgot to mention to me?!’ She spat. ‘The plan you were going to execute without me? Or do you mean your plan to have me fucking WAIT in an abandoned and not to mention SECRET corridor and pray someone will stay alive to GET me OUT?!’ Thorin closed his eyes and she knew she really was trying his patience. Enya heaved a sigh. Maybe this exact moment wasn’t the best place for a hot-headed fight.
Besides, with a dragon and fire witch in the same area, there was already enough heat present to blow up the entire mountain.
‘What do you want me to do?’ she inquired softly. ‘Distract him.’ Thorin murmured in her ear. ‘And don’t-’ They both gasped as another wave of heat (or in Enya’s case, a lukewarm breeze) blazed right over them, the pressure coming of it pushing her firmly against him. She heard everyone in the company yell from the heat and pain that was poured over them. Thorin’s hand traveled up to caress her cheek, his roughened thumb trailing over her jawline. His eyes glistened with deep passion. How could he have looked so empty to her just moments before? Her own mind must have deceived her, because right now the dwarf that lay beneath her, loved her more than he loved life itself. ‘Don’t get roasted.’ He ordered gently. Enya shrugged and a small smile appeared on her lips. ‘Not happening, and I expect the same from you. If you let him get you, I’ll kill you.’ Thorin shook his head. ‘I think you’ll find that very difficult, uzfakuh’ ‘I mean it.’ She told him. ‘Now go.’
They parted ways rather quickly to prevent another attack. Thorin started shouting orders and Enya she stepped through the iron latticework. Smaug had his eyes on her and his foul breath hissed in her ears, but she didn’t bother to directly look at him she strutted towards the middle of the passage. If the fire drake could smell her fear, any of it, she would end up as dinner. The ground shook as the dragon followed her on foot, his claws destroying the surface. Enya made her way to the other half of the hallway. She exhaled slowly and tried to control her trembling body. Then she finally turned on her heels and faced her opponent.
He was a lot closer to her than she would like him to be, his school bus sized head was scarcely ten meters away from the spot where she stood. Smaug had a long snout, pointed nostrils and his jaws consisted of rows of deadly, sharp teeth. The gleaming golden eyes that she had faced just minutes ago, were curiously watching her every move. The rest of his body was huge and she suspected he measured at least sixty meters from head to tail. This fire-drake was clearly designed for destruction, his hide consisting of vibrant reddish golden scales that seemed impregnable and pointed spikes running along his head down to his spine. The pointed and sharp claws were enormous, ready to slice any creature that was stupid enough to cross its path open. The wings did remind Enya a bit of batwings, but then far more deadly of course.
But although Smaug was indeed huge and terrifying, he was definitely nothing compared to Shissa the powerful, the great fire-drake that her grandfather had faced. Shissa certainly had been ten times bigger than the dragon that now stood before her. Also Smaug didn’t possess the sass and badass attitude of his ancestor. Oh yes, he was evil and angry, but that was just that. No more layers.
‘Oh. Didn’t see you there.’ She said, making sure she sounded bored as hell. ‘So you’re the one they call Smaug the… terrible, is it?’ ‘Who is asking?’ the fire-drake rumbled while sitting up straight to show her himself in all his grand mightiness. His voice was low and the purring undertone he used was clearly designed to feign kindness. Nevertheless the hairs in Enya’s neck prickled, her whole body was on edge. She couldn’t help but feel like a deer being pounced by a great tiger. One wrong move and she was done for it.
But whatever she did, she couldn’t let him show her fear.
‘An equal.’ She spoke curtly. ‘Equal?!’ Smaug snorted, visibly amused by her arrogance. ‘That surely sounds interesting. Tell me, who is so bold to assume she can exceed the might of me?!’ ‘Enya Blueheart.’ She replied. The dragon’s face twisted in a revolting grin. ‘Well, my my. One of the Blueheart family. I’ve thought you all were extinct, but yet here you are. I’ve eaten a lot of species, but I’ve never had the chance to taste a princess.’ He stretched his neck, smelling her from close by. ‘Yes, a dwarvenprincess... But what’s that other rather strange odor you seem to emit?’ Enya wrinkled her nose when the foul smell of at least a thousand years of bacteria buildup burned through her nostrils. She waved her hand in disgust. ‘I might tell you, but only if you close that foul muzzle of yours.’ ‘For a so-called princess you’re not very polite, are you?’ he hissed. Enya grinned and curtseyed quickly . ‘What can I say, I wasn’t brought up to be one. Excuse me for my manners, oh Smaug the stupendous.’ The fire-drake narrowed his eyes, not believing her shallow civility. ‘Flattery won’t save your life.’ He told her. ‘But I must say I’m rather curious about your origins, so speak.’ ‘I come from a land without magic, or dragons.’ She gave in. ‘A place where the race of humans exclusively survives.’ ‘The human race?’ Smaug said. ‘But how does a princess of the fire beards end up there?’
‘Because your ancestors drove us to earth, you hateful piece of filth!’ she thought. But instead, she feigned a smile and shrugged, not willing to provide him with the answer he undoubtingly wanted to hear. ‘Recently I came back to middle earth.’ ‘So you claim to have come from a land without magic.’ The fire-drake summarized, his eyes fixating on her neck. ‘But yet you carry something so valuable. Something that comes from the deepest pits of Nogrod.’ Enya’s hand closed around her locket. ‘What about it?’ ‘You don’t know?’ Smaug taunted her. ‘Your family never told you of the locket of the equitem?’ She straightened her back. There was no way in hell Smaug would just casually provide her with valuable information. She knew he was just messing with her, trying to catch her off guard and hurt her, but somewhere in her brain the name sounded awfully familiar. ‘Equitem.’ she repeated carefully. ‘Of course I know of it.’ ‘Oh yes.’ The fire-drake mocked, closing his eyes and his snout curved into a mean smirk. Enya gritted her teeth, not liking the way this conversation was going. That monster was enjoying this far too much. ‘So what does it do, Enya Blueheart? Did they tell you that?’ ‘What of it? Why should I enlighten you, of all creatures, on this subject?’ she bit back. ‘Do you want it for yourself? Is that it?’ ‘Let me give you an hint. It’s much more useful once it’s opened up.’ Smaug nagged, ignoring all her questions. ‘Inside is something far more preciousss…’ ‘It can’t be opened.’ She hissed. ‘And even if it could, I would rather die than let you have it.’ ‘Oh see, but that’s where you are wrong…’ Smaug told her while creeping closer to her and Enya involuntarily took a step back. ‘All you need, Enya Blueheart, is a little… fire.’
Everything happened so fast. Smaug lunged at her, opening his big mouth and unleashing his fiery breath on her. She held out her hands to protect herself and the raging fire came to an halt just inches before her. Like she was holding up this invisible wall.
All that energy had to go somewhere. The fire seemed to bounce back to its creator, raging against Smaug. The pressure of the flames must have been huge, since Enya saw the dragon being pushed a few feet backwards. The great fire-drake growled angrily. ‘You can’t beat me at my own game, honey.’ She scoffed. ‘So it seems.’ Smaug replied, his eyes still fixed on her locket. ‘But so can’t you…’
‘ENYA!’ Thorin yelled at her from the forges. ‘NOW!’
That was her sign. Enya ducked out of the way as Smaug lunged at her and she jumped between his front paws, ran under him and exited at his hind legs, nearly escaping a smack from his tail. She blindly shot a stream of water backwards and a enraged growl told her she had hit her mark. Once she passed the latticework again and made it into the forges, she took one moment to catch her breath. Thorin, Dwalin and Nori were on the opposite of the room, beneath the stone dwarven warriors that kept an eye over the furnaces. Thorin was instructing Bilbo to pull a lever on a mount several meters away. She saw Bombur hanging from a chain, working the bellows that were heating the lit furnaces. Balin, Dori and Ori were on her left, busying themselves with stacking pottery carefully into a pile.
‘He’s coming!’ she warned, but her yell was being cut off by a loud thump behind her. Smaug was battering his head against the latticework. Although it was a strong structure, it hadn’t been made to hold against a dragon. The iron pillars already started to bend inwards. They all watched in horror as the pillars gave in to Smaug’s magnificent strength, the latticework finally splitting open. With his claws the fire-drake pushed the battered ironwork out of his way and barged inside. For a fleeting moment, the monster stopped in his tracks to analyze his surroundings, but then his eyes fell on Bilbo. The dragon hissed and moved forward, fixed on the poor halfling that stood trembling on the mount, his hands reaching for the lever. But then from the corner of his eyes, Smaug detected Thorin. With a loud growl he went for the dwarf king instead.
‘NOW!’ Thorin shouted and Bilbo jumped to pull the said lever. The stone dwarven warriors above them opened their mouths and a tsunami of water poured over the dragon, taking him by surprise. He gurgled and spluttered as he was consumed by the vast amount of water, trying to hold his ground but then crawling slowly backwards. The room was covered in steam as the cold water reacted to the boiling heat in Smaug’s stomach.
Enya shot a glance at Thorin, who was anxiously checking the furnaces. He was trying to melt something, but for what? She looked up when jets of water set the watermill into motion, which allowed the two rope conveyer belts to start operating. Some of the buckets hanging above them were still full of ores and precious stones.
Smaug hissed and charged Thorin again, but stopped when a bomb (and another) was smashed against his snout. Dori cheered when he hit the intended mark again, but although the effort was valiant, it didn’t really seem to damage their opponent. Smaug merely flapped his wings angrily and shot a wave of fire towards them. Enya jumped in the way and with a mere flick from her hands, the fire lashed backwards. She then blew a storm of snow and ice into the dragon’s direction, containing sharp icicles that almost hit him in the eyes. The fire-drake snarled and used his wings to cover himself. Above them, Gloin emerged from one of the buckets on the conveyer belt (so that’s where he had been!) and cut the cord of the belt under him. Various buckets loaded with heavy stones came crashing down on Smaug’s neck. The creature cried out, now more angry than ever, and he started bustling around to free himself.
Thorin suddenly moved quickly towards one of the furnaces and pulled on a chain. Melted gold dripped from the furnaces into the troughs in the ground. ‘Lead him into the gallery of the kings!’ Thorin bellowed while grabbing a wheelbarrow and running towards a main trough. He then jumped into the gold, using the wheelbarrow as a raft. Smaug managed to free himself and went into a frenzy. He tried to follow Thorin and stomped over a small entrance at the base of the mount where all the troughs of gold joined and were lead from the room. But Thorin had already disappeared. Smaug roared after missing his mark and went after the poor halfling who was still standing on the very same mount. ‘Bilbo!’ Enya yelled while running towards him. ‘JUMP! NOW!’ But the halfling was trembling as a leaf and hesitated for far too long. Enya felt obliged to help him out. A sudden blow tripped him over the edge, but luckily he was caught midair by an icy slope that brought him towards the end of the forges. Enya ran after him and grabbed him by his coat. Together they fled through the exit, not even caring if it lead to where they should be.
Turned out it did. They ran straight into another hallway, this one even more massive than the last. It was adorned with banners, each single one hundreds of meters tall. ‘Is this-’ Bilbo panted, but he was cut off by an explosion on the wall above them, accompanied by the very fire-drake they tried to outrun. Enya pushed the hobbit forward and redirected the flying rocks as best as she could. Once she discovered that a banner was knocked off the wall, she couldn’t prevent Bilbo being caught under it.
Luckily it was just some heavy cloth.
Smaug leapt onto the floor at a crossroad in the middle of the hallway, the true entrance of the lonely mountain to his right. He roared angrily. ‘You think you can deceive me, barrel-rider?’ he snapped. ‘Or you, nasty little Blueheart princess?!’ Enya stilled and saw the cloth near the dragon move, but the latter was too engrossed in his own thoughts to notice. ‘You two have come from Laketown!’ Smaug established. ‘This is some wicked scheme between those filthy dwarves and miserable fishermen! Those fools with their longbows and… black arrows!’ He turned to the entrance of the hall. ‘Maybe I should pay them a visit.’ Enya shot forward and Bilbo crawled from his hiding place, simultaneously screaming: ‘NO!’ ‘It isn’t their fault!’ the hobbit pleaded. ‘You cannot go to Laketown!’ ‘Ah.’ The dragon grinned and turned around. ‘So you care for them? Good! Then you can watch them die.’ He spread his wings and-
Everything happened so fast that Enya couldn’t recall why she came up with this, but there she was, strangling an immense dragon, with a whip. It was made out of soil, which made it soft and unyielding at the same time. It was a bold move, mad even, but to her astonishment the earth withheld the powerful creature from taking off. Her fingers dug into the handle, the lash bending and stretching easily as she brought the great serpent down. Enya’s heart was pounding in her chest and she was high from all the adrenaline, but she never felt so much more alive.
Ha, who would ever have thought that soil was actually an asset during combat?!
‘I don’t think so.’ She hissed while giving the lash a sharp jerk. ‘We have some unfinished business.’ The fire-drake’s eyes were glittering with anger as he neared the place where she stood. The whip was still wrung tightly around his neck and although Enya couldn’t see any markings yet, she knew even a dragon would have to feel very uncomfortable. ‘Very well then.’ Smaug spoke. ‘You can die first.’ ‘Another empty threat?’ Enya inquired as she saw Bilbo fleeing from the hall towards the balcony on her right. The fire-drake had seen it too and opened his mouth, flames already sweltering inside his throat. ‘Really?’ Enya snapped. ‘Pick someone your own size, you bloody coward!’ The dragon snarled.
A wave of fire met a storm of snow and ice, both elements roaring violently as they clashed. Icicles flew through the air but failed to reach their mark as the fire-drake crushed them with his claws. He then lunged forward. His mouth was wide open, ready to devour anything in his path. Enya snapped her fingers and a gush of wind whirled around the room, flying straight into the dragon’s jaws. Her hands flicked gracefully and with a soft thump, what previously been air changed into its true form.
The eyes of the dragon almost jumped from their caskets once he realized what she had done. He roared aggressively and with a deafening cough he spat a pile of dirt into the hall. Enya quickly jumped behind a row of pillars on her left to evade the tornado of wind and soil. She crept along the balcony towards the junction and bit her lip in an attempt not to laugh. Once she got there, she glanced over the room and weighed her chances. Smaug was on her right, still spitting out dirt while the smoke was fuming from his nostrils. The passage on her left was, compared to the gallery, not very long and far from finished. An enormous statue of what looked like a warrior stood at the end, the vast stone masonry still evidently under construction as it was held together by wooden scaffolding.
Her heart skipped a beat. On the shoulder of the figure stood a dwarf, holding himself upright with a chain.
Thorin.
But what on earth was he doing there? Where was the rest of the company? Enya quickly crossed the passage to get to the other side of the gallery. She felt Thorin’s eyes prickling on her back, but she refused to make eye contact. This was her fight and she wanted him to wait with whatever his plan was until the last minute. She held out her hand and blew a gush of wind his way. The whisper floated through the void, delivering her message to her One.
‘Stay put. I got this.’
‘You dirty little witch!’ Smaug boomed, but the frog in his throat made his voice go up and down in an unbelievable funny manner. Enya giggled and the dragon growled furiously. ‘Where are you?! You have no honor.’ He hissed. ‘I’ll make you suffer.’ ‘And you, my lad, just ate dirt.’ Enya told him, reappearing behind him. She smirked when the dragon turned, but then barked again. ‘Need cough syrup?’ she asked.
Fire met fire. An explosion thundered through the room, the blazing heat scorched past her body and the pressure of the two forces coming together almost swept her off her feet. Enya gritted her teeth and she pushed the flames forward, entrapping the dragon in a fiery pit. But the fire-drake merely laughed devilishly, the flames not hurting him. ‘You can fight me all you want, little witch.’ He belittled her. ‘But you’ll never kill me. You don’t have the strength.’
Enya exhaled slowly and the flames around the dragon disappeared. Her hands arched a little and with that, a violent wind howled through the hall. The wind grew louder, stronger and the fire-drake spread his claws to steady his position, but he couldn’t help but slip away.
‘Oh honey, but that’s where you’re wrong.’ Enya bellowed above the sound. ‘See, my ancestors fought off far greater fire drakes than you.’ She took a step towards him. ‘And you, my friend, you have a serious superiority complex.’
Maybe Smaug didn’t really know what that meant or maybe he did, because he flapped his wings aggressively, the movement messing up Enya’s hurricane. Enya clenched her jaw and eyed the dragon while calculating her next move. Her palms filled with flames.
Smaug snorted. ‘So tell me, Enya Blueheart.’ He rumbled. ‘The longer I am in your presence, the more intrigued I become. You possess a bit of power, but yet you’re here, biting off more than you can chew.’
The only sound in the hall was the crackling of fire.
‘What’s in it for you?’ Smaug taunted, spurred on by her silence. ‘What did Oakenshield promise you?’ Enya gritted her teeth. It was obvious the dragon tried to provoke her again and whatever she would say, it wasn’t worth it. ‘Did he offer you a share of the treasure?’ the fire-drake needled. Ugh, she couldn’t help herself. ‘I’m not as superficial as you, thank you very much.’ she finally snapped. ‘Oh… then it must be love that has driven you on this foolish quest!’ the dragon nagged while moving closer to her again. ‘You think he loves you.’ Enya scoffed. ‘Oh and I suppose you’re the one who can tell me everything there’s to know about love, you despicable serpent?’ ‘Love is for the weak, my dear princess.’ Smaug purred, lowering his head to meet her face to face. ‘And the only thing Oakenshield’s in love with, is the King’s jewel.’
Her hands acted out before she registered the meaning of the vile words spoken to her. A flood of water flew into the dragon’s snout and he shot up with a disgusted growl. Enya’s fingers twirled and a solid rope wound itself several times along the fire-drake’s legs and claws. Smaug hissed and tried to break free, but every time he managed to cut one cord, another one grew back. ‘Maybe you should stop talking and start paying attention.’ Enya told the dragon. He was sitting up straight, like a circus lion, and glaring at her.
Pff. If looks could kill…
She crouched down and touched the floor with her hands. Little frost flowers appeared and Enya watched as they formed a trail towards her opponent. The ice got thicker as it proceeded. Cracking sounds filled the air as the snow crystals grew over the dragon’s front claws. ‘Beautiful. But worthless.’ Smaug scolded with a revolting grin, while watching the ice. ‘Your efforts are fruitless, little princess.’ ‘Oh honey, everyone has got a weak spot.’ Enya retorted. ‘And I’ll find yours in no time, no worries.’ ‘Do you really think you can stand a chance against the lure of the Arkenstone?’ the fire-drake continued, ignoring her remarks. ‘Trust me, you’re nothing compared to the King’s Jewel…’
‘NO! ENYA!’
Thorin’s call made the grip of the rope falter and the ice retreat an inch. And in that fleeting moment, that second she lost her focus, the dragon ripped himself free and lunged at her.
‘Eat shit, you fucking narcissist!’ Enya yelled while jumping aside to evade his mouth. Smaug roared in anger and another wave of fire blasted through the room. Enya braced herself, her fingers bending into claws as she blocked the fire with an icy wall. The two elements sizzled as they met and blazing steam filled up the gallery, masking the fire-drake from her view. Enya waved her hands and the fog floated another way, but it already was too late.
She didn’t see the tail coming.
‘My dear Enya, please wake up.’ A soft voice spoke. Her eyelids fluttered, the voice slowly pulling her from her slumber. A dark blue sky filled with greyish clouds came into vision. There was roaring in the distance. Humans were screaming, followed by the deafening sound of wood, bones and stone being crushed into nothing. A thick smell of smoke and fire penetrated her nostrils. For a moment Enya felt like she was floating in the air and although she was acknowledging the incentives that were invading her senses, she didn’t really feel a part of her surroundings.
Then a kind and familiar face came into view. Chestnut brown locks. Piercing blue eyes, just like hers. A hand held out in front of her.
‘Oh my god! Grandpa!’ she cried out while scrambling herself together. ‘How is this possible…?’ she looked around, eyeing the fire and devastation that was going on down below. She blinked. She appeared to be outside the mountain at the old overlook, looking down at the chaos. She hesitated before speaking the words she dreaded to ask.
‘Am I dead?’
Emrak gently pulled her up on her feet. ‘No, you’re not. You’re just unconscious. Bilbo will be able to wake your body up in a few minutes.’ ‘Again?!’ Enya grumbled while massaging her temples. ‘That happens a lot to me lately.’ Her grandfather shrugged. ‘Well, it’s the hazard that comes with the job. Things will try to hurt you and if you’re not careful enough, bad things will follow.’ He heaved a sigh and glanced down below, where the dragon Smaug was wreaking havoc to Laketown and its poor inhabitants. ‘Oh, fuck me!’ Enya cursed. ‘I’m so stupid! I didn’t see his tail coming at me!’ ‘Fighting a dragon is no easy task, even a tiny exemplar like him.’ Emrak mused. ‘I personally had a hard time keeping track of the whereabouts of all those limbs.’ ‘Oh my god, I failed!’ She fretted. ‘I let him get to me and now I failed all of you. People will die because of my stupidity!’ ‘They would have died already if it wasn’t for you, little one.’ Her grandfather replied while putting an arm around his granddaughter. ‘We’re no gods. All we can do is our best to protect our people.’ Enya didn’t reply, but just stood there, momentarily enjoying the presence of her long gone grandfather.
‘Thorin saved you by distracting the fire-drake.’ Emrak filled her in. ‘Then Bilbo ran from his hiding place to heave you up to the balcony and keep you hidden.’ Her heart swelled for her One and her favorite hobbit. ‘They’re both alive and well.’ Her grandfather continued. ‘But now it’s your turn to finish what you started.’ ‘How?’ Enya exasperated. ‘I tried fire, but he’s immune to that. My water and ice are definitely annoying the life out of him, but not enough to kill him instantly. What am I supposed to do? Blow him into a ravine? He was wings! Throw dirt at him? Strangle him again? He doesn’t care!’ Emrak smirked. ‘Then it’s rather obvious, isn’t it?’ ‘We’ll go for the dirt then.’ Enya sighed and bit her lip. ‘I feel like I’m short-sighted, that I’m not doing enough to-’
She froze in her tracks when she heard a mighty rumbling in the distance.
‘No, I can’t.’ she mumbled. ‘You were so fucking powerful and even you died, how could I possibly survive?’ ‘Yes, I was powerful.’ Emrak agreed. But so are you, and you’re nothing like me. You’re strong, kindhearted, witty and gentle. You know your weaknesses and you’re not afraid to speak about the things that haunt you. You’re finally able to see how it feels to be loved, truly and wholly.’ ‘But how does that make me-’ ‘You’re getting in sync with who you are, my granddaughter.’ Emrak said, beaming. ‘And we’re so proud of you. Your grandmother and I are delighted that we’re able to guide you on your path. We’re so honored to see you grow into the fire witch you’re meant to be.’ ‘But…’ Enya whispered. ‘I’m…’ Emrak smiled, tears welling in his eyes. ‘You’re doing perfectly fine, Enya. You’ve always done what’s right. You won’t make the same mistake as I did. Now, MY only regret is that I wasn’t alive long enough to see your mother Ailva and after her, you, growing up.’ The tears were rolling down her cheeks and Enya pulled her grandfather in a hug. ‘I’m so sorry you couldn’t save Nogrod.’ She whispered. ‘Nogrod was beyond repair.’ Emrak replied. ‘But Erebor isn’t. Destroy the dragon and protect your destiny. Then head for Nogrod and take the locket of Equitem with you.’ ‘It’s always with me.’ Enya said. Emrak grinned. ‘Good. And so are we. If you ever doubt yourself again, look inside.’ He pointed at the locket on her chest.
Enya had hundreds of questions, no a thousand even, but before she could open her mouth her grandfather was gone.
And she knew what to do…
Thank you so much for reading my humble story. Feedback is always welcome. Did you love Enya? Go to Enya’s story or check out my Masterlist.
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rt8815 · 7 years ago
Text
Beethoven and The Doctor
Thanks for the love and advice, @dontshootmespence @criminal-minds-fanfiction
Word count: 2,058 (I’m long winded, sorry.) Proofread, hopefully no mistakes.
I fixed it!
Stupidly long author’s note to follow :P XD
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It was a bright, warm October morning in Washington, D.C. Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan strode into the apartment building swiftly, the former with an air of sheer determination, the latter with one of mild trepidation.
“Baby Girl, I’m not so sure we should -”
“Shush, you,” Garcia interjected, playfully slapping Derek on the arm. “This. Is. Happening. I put a lot of thought into today’s festivities and he will have fun, even if it kills him.”
Morgan raised his arm in front of her, halting their climb up the stairs. He had a stern expression on his face. “Penelope, Reid said he didn’t want a huge fuss on his birthday,” he said reproachfully.
“Oh, he doesn’t know what he wants,” Garcia countered as she rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively.
Morgan released a heavy sigh, resignedly following the clickety-clack of Penelope’s ridiculously high heels when she resumed her journey up the staircase. “He did agree to dinner with everyone tonight, but as much as he’ll love spending time with us, it’ll also exhaust him. We know how overstimulated Reid gets – all that noise, the camera flashes, the crowd – he needs quiet time alone to prepare himself for that.”
They had reached Reid’s floor. Garcia paused on the landing before turning to face Morgan. She looked crestfallen and slightly ashamed of herself. “I know, you’re right,” she conceded, “I…but,” she pouted as she defiantly raised the platter in her hands, “…Doctor Who cupcakes.”
Morgan flashed his impossibly white smile. “I know, Mamma. I worry about him too. Let’s leave these at his door and we can text him so he knows they’re out here. That work for you?”
Garcia, however, wasn’t paying attention to him. “Shhh, can you hear that?”
Morgan listened for a second, then he caught it; somebody nearby was playing an electric guitar. More like making it sing. “They’re talented, whoever they are…ummm, is that…Beethoven?”
“Derek, it’s coming from Reid’s apartment.” They meandered towards the door, their heads tilted in curiosity, their hearts warmed by the performance. It had clearly been practiced to perfection, but not for a packed concert hall or a panel of judges.
No, this felt more…personal, more intimate. Morgan opened his mouth to say just that when Garcia interrupted his thoughts. “Hold on, Reid doesn’t play guitar, so how…oh, wait…” realization dawned on Garcia’s face as she broke into a devilish grin.
“Oh-ho-ho. Spencer, you naughty boy,” she giggled quietly, prompting Morgan to raise his eyebrows.
“What in the world are you on about, Penelope?”
“It’s McKinley, it has to be. I guess she took the day off work. Well, no wonder he didn’t wanna spend the day with us,” whispered Garcia, whose cheeks were now flushed with excitement.
Morgan’s eyes shifted from Garcia to the door while he processed her statement. “You mean the McKinley? Works at The Smithsonian McKinley? The one he’s been dating for almost a year?”
Penelope nodded in confirmation. “Ley’s also in a band; they sub for a couple of house bands around the city.”
Morgan chuckled admiringly, impressed with both this mystery woman and his kid brother. “All right, Pretty Boy! Get some,” he cheered quietly. “Man, I really need to keep in touch more; I’m missing a lot – too much.” In the background, the last couple notes of “Für Elise” rang through the air, quickly followed by lilting, if somewhat nervous, laughter.
“So, Doctor, what’s the verdict? Give me your honest review.” 
Reid took a moment to respond. “It’s not what I expected, but that was lovely, Kinley, thank you.” 
“You know, for someone whose career hinges in no small part on controlling your affect and demeanor, you’re surprisingly terrible at lying, Spencer,” McKinley admonished him. 
Outside the door, Derek snorted lightly. 
“What?! I’m not lying, Kinley,” Reid exclaimed, his voice rising an octave or two. 
“There it is! You’re using your squeaky voice! Always a dead giveaway.” 
“Squeaky voice? I do not have a – never mind. I meant what I said, McKinley.” 
Derek started shaking with silent laughter, while Penelope smirked proudly as she leaned against the doorframe. She had apparently borne witness to this type of exchange between the lovebirds before. 
“You’re hedging, and you know I don’t tolerate that. I’m a grown-ass woman, Spencer. I can handle constructive criticism. I welcome it, in fact. You’re censoring yourself in an attempt to spare my feelings, and that’s insulting. It’s unfair – to me and to you.” 
“You played beautifully,” Spencer reiterated. 
“But?” McKinley wouldn’t budge. Judging by the full minute of awkward silence, it appeared that Reid wouldn’t either. 
“Oh, she’s good,” Derek mouthed at Penelope, “and she calls him on his b.s. I like her already.” Garcia waved her hands dramatically. “Wait until you meet her tonight,” she gushed. 
“Okay,” Reid finally relented, “I don’t believe that classical music ought to be played on electric guitars – electric anything. The juxtaposition is too jarring. It feels…wrong. They shouldn’t mix, and I’m quite certain the composers would agree.” 
“Pffft, Beethoven totally would’ve been a metalhead,” McKinley declared. “Anyway, I understand; classical music and rock are to you what meat and sweet are to me. Bacon dipped in maple syrup? Ewww! And yet some people like the combination. Now I know to pull out my keyboard for certain songs.” 
“I didn’t want to sound ungrateful,” Reid mumbled apologetically. 
“You complimented me on how well I played, didn’t you?! We’re not required to enjoy all the same things because we’re dating. And Spencer, every day you show me how much you appreciate me.” 
“You must’ve worked on that for weeks, though, Kinley.” 
“Yeah, and you burned the midnight oil on that Edgar Allan Poe painting you gave me for my birthday. It’s unconventionally beautiful. The painting is very…you. That’s why I love it; that’s why I love you, Spencer Reid. You couldn’t be cookie cutter even if you tried.” 
Derek and Penelope swore they felt the heat from Reid’s blush oozing through the door. 
When Reid replied, he sounded pleasantly breathless. “That’s one of the reasons I love you, too. You’re unapologetically different.” 
Another silence fell, except this time a sweet bashfulness filled the apartment. 
“They’re exchanging ‘I love yous’ now?! Yes!” Penelope whisper-screamed, punching the air. “My OTP grows stronger by the day. Derek, I can see it now,” she murmured dreamily, placing her hand on his chest. “They’ll have a spring wedding. JJ, Em, Tara, and I will help with the planning. We’ll be bridesmaids! You’ll be the best man.” Garcia did a little happy dance, then suddenly gasped. “And baby geniuses! Maybe we’ll get a goddaughter this time!” 
“Just be cool, baby, damn,” Morgan snickered. 
“Oh goodness,” McKinley’s voice echoed from within the apartment, “look at the time, Spencer! It’s nearly 9:00! We need to hustle if we’re gonna finish everything before we have to head over to Rossi’s.” Morgan and Penelope could hear the two moving around, packing up her guitar, setting mugs in the sink. 
“That’s our cue to leave, Penelope. You know what, let’s take these cupcakes to the front desk. If we drop them at the door and text Reid now…well, it’s bad enough that we eavesdropped, but if he finds out, he’ll be embarrassed.”
“Agreed. I’ll write a note saying we figured he was still asleep and we didn’t want to disturb him.” 
A few minutes later, the two were walking arm-in-arm around the corner to Derek’s rental car, Garcia enthusiastically discussing the details of the party she and JJ had organized, and wondering out loud if McKinley had slept over at Reid’s.
...
“So, you ready for this shindig?” McKinley asked through Spencer’s bedroom door. Ever the gentleman, he had graciously offered his room to her so she could change clothes, while he changed out in the living room.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” replied Spencer. “I mean, it’ll be fun – family, friends, good food – but I hope Garcia didn’t go too far overboard…again.”
McKinley pulled an amused face. “‘Hope she didn’t go overboard’? Have you met Penelope Garcia? That’s the only way she knows how to do,” laughed McKinley, checking herself in the mirror one last time. “Are you decent?”
“Yeah,” Spencer answered, “just putting on my tie.” Penelope insisted that everyone wear semi-formal attire, or she’d have their heads. They both thought it was ridiculous, but one simply doesn’t argue with Lady G.
“All right, I’m coming out then.” Cracking open the door, McKinley scanned the living room for Spencer. She spotted him fixing his tie by his reflection in the window. Nervously - she wasn’t used to getting so dressed up - she took a few steps toward Spencer and waited for him to finish.
McKinley’s eyes traveled from his wavy, unkempt hair down to his mismatched sock and Converse-clad feet. She stifled a giggle: her Doctor in a blue suit and All Stars.
“Holy hell, he’s gorgeous,” exclaimed a voice in McKinley’s head, shocking her. She’d always found Spencer objectively attractive, but that didn’t even make the list of reasons she initially felt drawn to him, and it certainly had nothing to do with why she loved him. It was almost everything else, but mainly it was his kindness.
However, since their first kiss and ‘I love yous’ two months ago, McKinley had developed…new feelings for the good Doctor. Feelings she recognized, but had never experienced before. Feelings she had yet to discuss with her boyfriend. Tingly in the pants feelings.
Spencer was still fussing over his tie, so she continued quietly admiring him from behind.
“Behind…he has a cute behind, doesn’t he?” That voice again.
“Behave.” McKinley scolded herself.
“I mean, purple’s his best color, but check out that tush in navy. Rrrr.”
“Stop it! Stop that right now!” McKinley forced her eyes upward, where they settled on Spencer’s face. He was fighting a losing battle to keep the tie straight, biting his lower lip in frustration.
“Well, you already know those taste of coffee, peppermint, and – now that it’s fall - pumpkin spice. How does the rest of him taste, though?”
“Lord have mercy, who am I kidding? That’s no tingle, that’s a throb.”
In spite of herself, a small whimper escaped McKinley’s lips.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, slowly turning to face her. “Are you worried about sensory overload at the party? You can take breaks inside Rossi’s house, everyone will underst- wow,” he exhaled, cutting himself off before lapsing into stunned silence.
Spencer closed the space dividing them, continuing to stare in awe. “No,” she thought, “it’s more than that. His eyes. He looks…hungry? Oh!”
McKinley felt heat creep up her cheeks as her gaze lowered to the floor, landing on Spencer’s shoes. “Yes, a distraction!” “Wow, yourself, Doc-tah,” she replied, laughing at her awful British accent as much as his outfit.
“I – what? Oh, that was unintentional,” he claimed, chuckling at his wardrobe choice. “What about you?” he asked, gesturing at her ensemble. “Deliberate or happy accident?”
McKinley glanced down. Her empire waist, A-line dress was a deep amethyst, her footed tights a snowy white, and her low heels an emerald green. “Ummm, it must’ve been stirring in my subconscious. Not exactly subtle, is it?”
“No, but when have you ever been subtle? It’s helpful, though; your candor removes the guesswork for me.” Spencer brought his hands to McKinley’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. It had more heat, she noted, than their previous ones. And tongue. And hand wandering. It also ended too quickly to suit her.
“Okay, time to go,” Spencer announced, grabbing McKinley’s hand and stepping towards the door; she, however, stayed rooted to the spot. “Uuum, give me a second?” She played for time under the pretense of checking her clutch.
“Most sexy to least sexy, that’s how Sarah says she ‘calms down.’ Think! Ah, Mick Jagger strutting on stage. He’s aesthetically beautiful and he exudes an air of confidence - that’s sexy. What next? Bleh, period bloat. The girls plump up, which is fun, but so does my belly. Least sexy? Oh, gross: the shower drain mold that refuses to die.”
McKinley turned to face Spencer. “I’m all set. Lead the way.”
“After you,” he replied, holding the door for her.
“There’s no mistaking it.” McKinley spotted him grinning mischievously in her peripheral vision. “He knows, and he’s teasing me.”
---
I originally called this “Cupcakes and Confessions,” which I feel is a cringeworthy title, not that “Beethoven and The Doctor” is any better. Anyway…I also edited this and added a huge chunk at the end.
Just for clarification, this snippet and the one to follow take place October 12, 2018. The team celebrated Reid’s 24th birthday in S1E4, “Plain Sight,” which aired October 12, 2005. S7E11, “True Genius,” which aired January 18, 2012, had them belatedly celebrating Boy Wonder’s 30th birthday. I’m going with an October birthday for Reid because, well, duh. I’m also keeping his age ambiguous.
Stories don’t need to be told chronologically, so I’ll be jumping around a little. The next part will cover the party and provide a lovely segue to the actual start of Spencer and the OC’s relationship.
Finally: drawing isn’t my strong suit, but I felt that the fic needed something extra.
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seigyokus · 7 years ago
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3.4 - Pride, Rifts
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Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 3.4 For more Part 3 translations, click here!
Translation below the cut!
Izumi Mitsuki: Say....... Nikaidou Yamato: Hm? Izumi Mitsuki: I'll get right to the point-- what's Chiba Salon? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: You said that you entered the entertainment industry so you could expose Chiba Salon. What do you mean? Izumi Mitsuki: Yamato-san, why do you know so many people in the industry? How do you know Yuki-san? Did you know him from before? Izumi Mitsuki: To be honest, I didn't mean to ask you all of this. It's just.... You look really tired and frazzled lately. Nikaidou Yamato: ......Haha. Nikaidou Yamato: Come on. You too? I can't believe both you and Nagi are such goddamn voyeurs. Finally showing your true colors, eh? Izumi Mitsuki: 'Voyeur'...? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Ah, no-- Izumi Mitsuki: You.... You know, Nagi is really, really worried about you, right? Did you really think that all of that was nothing more than voyeurism or plain old curiosity......? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: Well, he is being excessively curious about stuff. You too. Izumi Mitsuki: ......Do you really mean that? Izumi Mitsuki: Did you really mean all that stuff about how we're only prying because we're curious? Nikaidou Yamato: Hey now, I'm not criticizing you or anything. That's just how people are, right?. Nikaidou Yamato: Well, if you really want something thrilling, then go read gossip articles online. Goodnight.... Izumi Mitsuki: --Hold up, you asshole! Nikaidou Yamato: Woah, that was close! I almost spilled my coffee! Izumi Mitsuki: You know what Mister Shimooka told me? He was like, 'Wait, you don't know? Even though you're such good friends?' Izumi Mitsuki: How did you think I felt when he said that!? Why do I have to learn about you through rumors! Nikaidou Yamato: Mitsu, don't shout. You'll wake up the others. Izumi Mitsuki: I was gonna wait for you! I was gonna wait until you were ready to open up and talk to us about it! I even told Nagi and Tamaki that to calm them down! Izumi Mitsuki: But what the hell is up with you!? You're spewing downright awful stuff at people who are worried about you and saying whatever the hell you want to say. Aren't you just running away!? Nikaidou Yamato: ......Shut up! Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: Worried...? Are you really saying that? You're just frustrated that somebody else knew about it while you didn't. That's all there is to it! Izumi Mitsuki: Of course I was! I was really frustrated! Is it wrong for me to be frustrated!? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: Just give me a real answer, Yamato-san.... If you don't wanna talk about it, then just tell me that you don't wanna talk about it. That's enough for me. Izumi Mitsuki: If you told me to wait, then I'd wait! Just stop playing it off! Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: Or am I supposed to use that here? Nikaidou Yamato: Use what...? Izumi Mitsuki: The 'moderation' you gave me. (1) Izumi Mitsuki: Am I really supposed to use that here, on us? Until you properly talk to me and we both understand each other? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: Haha.... Well, in the end that's all there is to being a member. (2) Izumi Mitsuki: ....... *smack*
Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ...I don't really know, to be honest. I do feel guilty, there's no way I wouldn't. But.... Somewhere deep down inside, I don't think I'm completely lying either. Midou Torao: No? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I just want to make the people watching me happy. That feeling holds true for whenever I sing, or dance, or keep up that persona. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Playing the part of a sexy, man of luxury is just like executing a difficult dance step. During those times, what I'm really thinking about is stuff like.... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Am I crushing the dreams of the people who love me? Am I showing them something they can be satisfied with? Am I properly supporting my friends like this? Midou Torao: Friends? Are you talking about Kujou Ten or Yaotome Gaku? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: And also the people at the agency and all of the staff members. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: So many people are doing their best to support me. That's how the me on TV happens. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: These people make me into entertainment through their vast wisdom and experience. Midou Torao: ....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: There are times when that on-stage and off-stage gap is painful, and there are times when I feel really bad that it causes my family trouble, but.... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: My friends know what I'm really like and support me. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Even though keeping this a secret is suffocating at times, it's also part of the bond between me and my friends. Midou Torao: I see....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: It would've been really hard if I had to keep it a secret from my friends too. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: As a member of TRIGGER, I'm determined to make this group even bigger. So no matter how much my heart aches, that lie is a completely different matter. (3) Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: If I had to lie to Gaku or Ten about this though....... Every day would be so terrifying, and I'd probably end up hating myself. I'm sure I'd try to run away from them too, just so that I wouldn't have to see their faces. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: It'd be so taxing.... There's a good chance I'd lash out and say terrible things to them too. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I'm really glad that it's not like that.
*click* Nanase Riku: T-there was a really loud noise just now. Is everything okay!? Izumi Iori: Noisy indeed. Just who is awake-- 
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Izumi Mitsuki: --Don't fuck with me, you dumbass! Nikaidou Yamato: You idiot! I can't believe you punched me in the face when I'm in the middle of filming....! Izumi Iori: ......! Nii-san! What are you doing!? Nanase Riku: Yamato-san, are you okay!? Izumi Mitsuki: Fine, then! Just keep on saying whatever the hell you want for the rest of your damn life! Go ahead, keep on pretending you don't give a shit! (4) Nikaidou Yamato: Don't fucking lecture me on this! There's no way someone like you would understand how I feel! Izumi Mitsuki: If you want me to understand, then tell me! With your own voice! In your own words! Izumi Mitsuki: I couldn't hate you, even if you were a criminal! There's no way I could ever forget all of the things you've done for me! Izumi Mitsuki: Why can't you understand that!? Izumi Iori: You can't, Nii-san! Any further, and-- Izumi Mitsuki: ......... Nikaidou Yamato: ......God, shut the fuck up. Nanase Riku: I-I'll bring some bandages. Let me see your face-- Nikaidou Yamato: It's fine. I'm going back to my room. *click* Rokuya Nagi: ....... What happened? Yamato.... Nikaidou Yamato: ....... *slam* Rokuya Nagi: The corner of his mouth was bleeding. Did he fight with someone? Izumi Mitsuki: ......I hit him. Rokuya Nagi: ...You hit him, Mitsuki? *click* Osaka Sougo: What happened...? I heard shouting....... Yotsuba Tamaki: ...Where's Yama-san?
Midou Torao: Thanks for tonight. I had fun. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: If anything, I should be the one thanking you. I feel a lot better now after talking to you. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: To be honest, I've been bottling up my feelings since there's a lot going on with my family right now. But I remember my resolve now, along with my pride. I know I can proudly tell my younger brother…. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: “I'm TRIGGER's Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, and I'm determined to make my members and my family happy.” Midou Torao: Haha. You're a good older brother. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Oh, not at all. Midou Torao: Say, Ryuunosuke. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Hm? Midou Torao: If I told you I recorded our entire conversation tonight, what would you do? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Record? For what purpose? Midou Torao: Selling it to the press. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: You want to be popular with women, right? I have faith in your kindness, Torao-kun. Midou Torao: Haha. Sorry, that was a joke. Ah, right. Do you mind if I ask you for some advice? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Advice? What kind? Midou Torao: Apparently this one singer I know ran into problems with her agency. Do you know her? Hanamaki.... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Is it Hanamaki Sumire-san? Of course I know her! Isn't she the number one hit artist right now? I didn't know you were acquainted with her. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I bump into her a lot at shows. I'm always here to listen, if you don’t mind someone like me. Midou Torao: You're a lifesaver. I'll contact you later. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Got it. Good night, Torao-kun. Midou Torao: ....... ....... Midou Torao: ......Hello? Yeah, I met him. He just left. Midou Torao: Didn't seem like one of the top brass in the current Chiba Salon though. ......Huh? Midou Torao: Aw, come on. I didn't bully him. --That's mean, Ryou-san.
Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Yotsuba Tamaki: ......Yama-san, what are those suitcases for? Are you going somewhere? Nikaidou Yamato: I'm not gonna come back for a while. I really can't cause any more trouble for the people on set. Izumi Mitsuki: .......
To be continued.....
TL Notes/comments:
BIG THANKS TO RYUU (@hyouryuu_ on twitter) FOR TL CHECKING ME AND HELPING ME W SOME OF THE LINES IN THIS SECTION!! I Owe You My Life... Also thank you @kuriiii for qcing/proofreading as usual!! bless u Baeta
And now for the Actual TL notes...
(1) YOOO TBT PART 2, CHAPTER 8.3! im fucking saD man (2) THANK YOU RYUU-CHAN FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THIS LINE, AND MANY MANY OTHERS IN THIS section (3) LIKE THIS ONE!! 線を引く literally translates to "drawing the line" in english ('enough is enough') but that has a very different connotation in jpn: 'differentiating or keeping things different/separate' I was super confused abt this line, so thank you Ryuu for clarifying that!!! (4) for this line I went rougher/more crude because mitsuki is Pissed, throws more insults/is rougher in speech towards yamato. Generally mikkii does use slightly rougher speech but i don’t go as ham on the swears as i would for another character (ex. Gaku, yamato)
I do apologize for the delay in release, but I absolutely had to get this section checked because there were just way too many things I was not 100% certain that I tl’d right. I would definitely be interested in having a permanent tl checker (preferably native japanese+english speaker) to ensure quality and accuracy for story tl’s, so send feel free to send me an ask/DM me on twitter (@shiroihime) if you’re interested or know anyone who would be!  ALSO I CAN FINALLY WORK ON STUFF THIS WEEKEND, so expect more updates soon! I finished NO DOUBT’s lyric tl’s a few days ago for both the game size and MV size, so if you or someone you know is willing to do karaoke/subbing of the MV, please send me an ask or DM me on twitter (@shiroihime)! Last but not least, if there’s anyone who can record gameplay videos (like this channel) in high quality without any watermarks/etc or lag, please contact me either here through ask or DM on twitter for more details.
As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!
Thank you for reading!!
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rt8815 · 7 years ago
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Beethoven and The Doctor
I originally called this “Cupcakes and Confessions,” which I feel is a cringeworthy title, not that “Beethoven and The Doctor” is any better. Anyway…I also edited this and added a huge chunk at the end.
Just for clarification, this snippet and the one to follow take place October 12, 2018. The team celebrated Reid’s 24th birthday in S1E4, “Plain Sight,” which aired October 12, 2005. S7E11, “True Genius,” which aired January 18, 2012, had them belatedly celebrating Boy Wonder’s 30th birthday. I’m going with an October birthday for Reid because, well, duh. I’m also keeping his age ambiguous.
Stories don’t need to be told chronologically, so I’ll be jumping around a little. The next part will cover the party and provide a lovely segue to the actual start of Spencer and the OC’s relationship.
Finally: drawing isn’t my strong suit, but I felt that the fic needed something extra.
Word count: 2,058 (I’m long winded, sorry.) Proofread, hopefully no mistakes.
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It was a bright, warm October morning in Washington, D.C. Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan strode into the apartment building swiftly, the former with an air of sheer determination, the latter with one of mild trepidation.
“Baby Girl, I’m not so sure we should -”
“Shush, you,” Garcia interjected, playfully slapping Derek on the arm. “This. Is. Happening. I put a lot of thought into today’s festivities and he will have fun, even if it kills him.”
Morgan raised his arm in front of her, halting their climb up the stairs. He had a stern expression on his face. “Penelope, Reid said he didn’t want a huge fuss on his birthday,” he said reproachfully.
“Oh, he doesn’t know what he wants,” Garcia countered as she rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively.
Morgan released a heavy sigh, resignedly following the clickety-clack of Penelope’s ridiculously high heels when she resumed her journey up the staircase. “He did agree to dinner with everyone tonight, but as much as he’ll love spending time with us, it’ll also exhaust him. We know how overstimulated Reid gets – all that noise, the camera flashes, the crowd – he needs quiet time alone to prepare himself for that.”
They had reached Reid’s floor. Garcia paused on the landing before turning to face Morgan. She looked crestfallen and slightly ashamed of herself. “I know, you’re right,” she conceded, “I…but,” she pouted as she defiantly raised the platter in her hands, “…Doctor Who cupcakes.”
Morgan flashed his impossibly white smile. “I know, Mamma. I worry about him too. Let’s leave these at his door and we can text him so he knows they’re out here. That work for you?”
Garcia, however, wasn’t paying attention to him. “Shhh, can you hear that?”
Morgan listened for a second, then he caught it; somebody nearby was playing an electric guitar. More like making it sing. “They’re talented, whoever they are…ummm, is that…Beethoven?”
“Derek, it’s coming from Reid’s apartment.” They meandered towards the door, their heads tilted in curiosity, their hearts warmed by the performance. It had clearly been practiced to perfection, but not for a packed concert hall or a panel of judges.
No, this felt more…personal, more intimate. Morgan opened his mouth to say just that when Garcia interrupted his thoughts. “Hold on, Reid doesn’t play guitar, so how…oh, wait…” realization dawned on Garcia’s face as she broke into a devilish grin.
“Oh-ho-ho. Spencer, you naughty boy,” she giggled quietly, prompting Morgan to raise his eyebrows.
“What in the world are you on about, Penelope?”
“It’s McKinley, it has to be. I guess she took the day off work. Well, no wonder he didn’t wanna spend the day with us,” whispered Garcia, whose cheeks were now flushed with excitement.
Morgan’s eyes shifted from Garcia to the door while he processed her statement. “You mean the McKinley? Works at The Smithsonian McKinley? The one he’s been dating for almost a year?”
Penelope nodded in confirmation. “Ley’s also in a band; they sub for a couple of house bands around the city.”
Morgan chuckled admiringly, impressed with both this mystery woman and his kid brother. “All right, Pretty Boy! Get some,” he cheered quietly. “Man, I really need to keep in touch more; I’m missing a lot – too much.” In the background, the last couple notes of “Für Elise” rang through the air, quickly followed by lilting, if somewhat nervous, laughter.
“So, Doctor, what’s the verdict? Give me your honest review.” 
Reid took a moment to respond. “It’s not what I expected, but that was lovely, Kinley, thank you.” 
“You know, for someone whose career hinges in no small part on controlling your affect and demeanor, you’re surprisingly terrible at lying, Spencer,” McKinley admonished him. 
Outside the door, Derek snorted lightly. 
“What?! I’m not lying, Kinley,” Reid exclaimed, his voice rising an octave or two. 
“There it is! You’re using your squeaky voice! Always a dead giveaway.” 
“Squeaky voice? I do not have a – never mind. I meant what I said, McKinley.” 
Derek started shaking with silent laughter, while Penelope smirked proudly as she leaned against the doorframe. She had apparently borne witness to this type of exchange between the lovebirds before. 
“You’re hedging, and you know I don’t tolerate that. I’m a grown-ass woman, Spencer. I can handle constructive criticism. I welcome it, in fact. You’re censoring yourself in an attempt to spare my feelings, and that’s insulting. It’s unfair – to me and to you.” 
“You played beautifully,” Spencer reiterated. 
“But?” McKinley wouldn’t budge. Judging by the full minute of awkward silence, it appeared that Reid wouldn’t either. 
“Oh, she’s good,” Derek mouthed at Penelope, “and she calls him on his b.s. I like her already.” Garcia waved her hands dramatically. “Wait until you meet her tonight,” she gushed. 
“Okay,” Reid finally relented, “I don’t believe that classical music ought to be played on electric guitars – electric anything. The juxtaposition is too jarring. It feels…wrong. They shouldn’t mix, and I’m quite certain the composers would agree.” 
“Pffft, Beethoven totally would’ve been a metalhead,” McKinley declared. “Anyway, I understand; classical music and rock are to you what meat and sweet are to me. Bacon dipped in maple syrup? Ewww! And yet some people like the combination. Now I know to pull out my keyboard for certain songs.” 
“I didn’t want to sound ungrateful,” Reid mumbled apologetically. 
“You complimented me on how well I played, didn’t you?! We’re not required to enjoy all the same things because we’re dating. And Spencer, every day you show me how much you appreciate me.” 
“You must’ve worked on that for weeks, though, Kinley.” 
“Yeah, and you burned the midnight oil on that Edgar Allan Poe painting you gave me for my birthday. It’s unconventionally beautiful. The painting is very…you. That’s why I love it; that’s why I love you, Spencer Reid. You couldn’t be cookie cutter even if you tried.” 
Derek and Penelope swore they felt the heat from Reid’s blush oozing through the door. 
When Reid replied, he sounded pleasantly breathless. “That’s one of the reasons I love you, too. You’re unapologetically different.” 
Another silence fell, except this time a sweet bashfulness filled the apartment. 
“They’re exchanging ‘I love yous’ now?! Yes!” Penelope whisper-screamed, punching the air. “My OTP grows stronger by the day. Derek, I can see it now,” she murmured dreamily, placing her hand on his chest. “They’ll have a spring wedding. JJ, Em, Tara, and I will help with the planning. We’ll be bridesmaids! You’ll be the best man.” Garcia did a little happy dance, then suddenly gasped. “And baby geniuses! Maybe we’ll get a goddaughter this time!” 
“Just be cool, baby, damn,” Morgan snickered. 
“Oh goodness,” McKinley’s voice echoed from within the apartment, “look at the time, Spencer! It’s nearly 9:00! We need to hustle if we’re gonna finish everything before we have to head over to Rossi’s.” Morgan and Penelope could hear the two moving around, packing up her guitar, setting mugs in the sink. 
“That’s our cue to leave, Penelope. You know what, let’s take these cupcakes to the front desk. If we drop them at the door and text Reid now…well, it’s bad enough that we eavesdropped, but if he finds out, he’ll be embarrassed.”
 “Agreed. I’ll write a note saying we figured he was still asleep and we didn’t want to disturb him.” 
A few minutes later, the two were walking arm-in-arm around the corner to Derek’s rental car, Garcia enthusiastically discussing the details of the party she and JJ had organized, and wondering out loud if McKinley had slept over at Reid’s.
“So, you ready for this shindig?” McKinley asked through Spencer’s bedroom door. Ever the gentleman, he had graciously offered his room to her so she could change clothes, while he changed out in the living room.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” replied Spencer. “I mean, it’ll be fun – family, friends, good food – but I hope Garcia didn’t go too far overboard…again.”
McKinley pulled an amused face. “‘Hope she didn’t go overboard’? Have you met Penelope Garcia? That’s the only way she knows how to do,” laughed McKinley, checking herself in the mirror one last time. “Are you decent?”
“Yeah,” Spencer answered, “just putting on my tie.” Penelope insisted that everyone wear semi-formal attire, or she’d have their heads. They both thought it was ridiculous, but one simply doesn’t argue with Lady G.
“All right, I’m coming out then.” Cracking open the door, McKinley scanned the living room for Spencer. She spotted him fixing his tie by his reflection in the window. Nervously - she wasn’t used to getting so dressed up - she took a few steps toward Spencer and waited for him to finish.
McKinley’s eyes traveled from his wavy, unkempt hair down to his mismatched sock and Converse-clad feet. She stifled a giggle: her Doctor in a blue suit and All Stars.
“Holy hell, he’s gorgeous,” exclaimed a voice in McKinley’s head, shocking her. She’d always found Spencer objectively attractive, but that didn’t even make the list of reasons she initially felt drawn to him, and it certainly had nothing to do with why she loved him. It was almost everything else, but mainly it was his kindness.
However, since their first kiss and ‘I love yous’ two months ago, McKinley had developed…new feelings for the good Doctor. Feelings she recognized, but had never experienced before. Feelings she had yet to discuss with her boyfriend. Tingly in the pants feelings.
Spencer was still fussing over his tie, so she continued quietly admiring him from behind.
“Behind…he has a cute behind, doesn’t he?” That voice again.
“Behave.” McKinley scolded herself.
“I mean, purple’s his best color, but check out that tush in navy. Rrrr.”
“Stop it! Stop that right now!” McKinley forced her eyes upward, where they settled on Spencer’s face. He was fighting a losing battle to keep the tie straight, biting his lower lip in frustration.
“Well, you already know those taste of coffee, peppermint, and – now that it’s fall - pumpkin spice. How does the rest of him taste, though?”
“Lord have mercy, who am I kidding? That’s no tingle, that’s a throb.”
In spite of herself, a small whimper escaped McKinley’s lips.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, slowly turning to face her. “Are you worried about sensory overload at the party? You can take breaks inside Rossi’s house, everyone will underst- wow,” he exhaled, cutting himself off before lapsing into stunned silence.
Spencer closed the space dividing them, continuing to stare in awe. “No,” she thought, “it’s more than that. His eyes. He looks…hungry? Oh!”
McKinley felt heat creep up her cheeks as her gaze lowered to the floor, landing on Spencer’s shoes. “Yes, a distraction!” “Wow, yourself, Doc-tah,” she replied, laughing at her awful British accent as much as his outfit.
“I – what? Oh, that was unintentional,” he claimed, chuckling at his wardrobe choice. “What about you?” He asked, gesturing at her ensemble. “Deliberate or happy accident?”
McKinley glanced down. Her empire waist, A-line dress was a deep amethyst, her footed tights a snowy white, and her low heels an emerald green. “Ummm, it must’ve been stirring in my subconscious. Not exactly subtle, is it?”
“No, but when have you ever been subtle? It’s helpful, though; your candor removes the guesswork for me.” Spencer brought his hands to McKinley’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. It had more heat, she noted, than their previous ones. And tongue. And hand wandering. It also ended too quickly to suit her.
“Okay, time to go,” Spencer announced, grabbing McKinley’s hand and stepping towards the door; she, however, stayed rooted to the spot. “Uuum, give me a second?” She played for time under the pretense of checking her clutch.
“Most sexy to least sexy, that’s how Sarah says she ‘calms down.’ Think! Ah, Mick Jagger strutting on stage. He’s aesthetically beautiful and he exudes an air of confidence - that’s sexy. What next? Bleh, period bloat. The girls plump up, which is fun, but so does my belly. Least sexy? Oh, gross: the shower drain mold that refuses to die.”
McKinley turned to face Spencer. “I’m all set. Lead the way.”
“After you,” he replied, holding the door for her.
“There’s no mistaking it.” McKinley spotted him grinning mischievously in her peripheral vision. “He knows, and he’s teasing me.”
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