#pronouns. nobodys gonna look at me and think theres something about their gender

[arsenicflame]

feeling very 'i wish i was born amab so i could dress feminine and be inherently gnc' in this here chillis tonight

[totiredtowrite]

Dysphoria Comfort Headcanons

Warnings - cursing, dysphoria, mentions of insecurity

Note: Reader is transmasc and it's geared towards ftm, but I threw in some gender fluid stuff too. I'm not well versed in genderqueer or demi, or other things along those lines, so tell me if I do anything wrong pleasee

Characters are Kyotani, Matsukawa, and Daishou

Transmasculine Reader - Fem Readers DO NOT Interact.

Kyotani Kentarou

Lets be real, he's a bit of a dunce

like I'm not saying hes stupid, he just doesn't understand much lol

So when he confessed to you and you started fidgeting, he thought he did something wrong

Essentially you were worried that he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you once he found out that you're trans, so you got a lil worried

Bc essentially you pass very well at school and wherever, so you just didn't tell anyone

And now you were worried about that

So you just kinda come out to him then and there

and he goes 'okay'

Like literally his face doesn't change from 😐

he's like "so you still wanna date orrrr"

Yeah man doesn't care

I swear to everything that this man is pansexual

So onto the comfort part

For ftm readers firstly

If you feel uncomfy or too feminine or just overall awful, he'll try his best

And by try his best I mean curl his whole body around you

(even if you're taller)

He jus wants you to forget about it n feel better :(

he isn't good with words at all so instead he uses action yk?

If he knows that you're feeling dysphoric or sad he'll either A, follow you around like a dog to see if theres anything he can do for you, or B, cuddle you half to death

And those things also carry over if he has a genderfluid or nonbinary partner

If his partner is genderfluid, he'll try his best with the pronouns

Theres no saying he wont mess up, (ofc), but he'll feel pretty bad about it and wait on you the rest of the day

And same thing goes for a nonbinary partner

Loves you regardless, tries with pronouns if you're genderfluid, enby, or really anything on the spectrum

Matsukawa Issei

Why are there like no matsukawa gifs

anyways

ISSEI

Ftm reader for the beginning

before he even confesses, he knows bro

Takes one look at you and goes "oh yeah, that's a trans guy"

And he doesn't really care all that much

Sure every once in a while he's like "so he don't got a dick 🤨" and then moves on with his day

He didn't care too much until you joined the vbc as a manager

And then he was like "Okay I like this one"

Man just accepted that he thought you were cute and moved on with his life, just now crushing on the cute manager

I would say he confessed very casually on a walk home or something

COMFORT NOW

So Matsukawa, out of the three characters for these headcanons, is probably the most chill

If you're feeling dysphoric, just tap on his shoulder or something and he'll know whats up

Even in front of the team, he won't out you if you didn't come out

He understands that it's your choice and nobody elses >:(

And, for those who need to hear it, you're still valid even if you haven't come out to anyone

Whether you pass or not

Now for my ftm readers, (really also afab nb/genderfluid or whateva), You just know that he's the best when its that time of the month

Like the best

He'll go out and get you gender neutral supplies if you don't have it/are too nervous too, he'll buy you shit, everything

And with genderfluid (afab or amab yall both valid asf) readers he'll make sure that you have whatever you need to feel comfortable on any given day

I think he'd be a lot better with pronouns than Kyotani, cause he thinks more before he speaks

And for anyone else on the wide gender spectrum that I missed, you know he'll do good for you too

AND AND

If you use all pronouns he'll def mix them up a lot and not use one set of pronouns for too long if you don't want him to

Daishou Suguru

Now I know that he can be conniving and infuriating, but all I see is some awkward dude

He can be soft come on

So I'm gonna say you came out to him after you'd already established a relationship

And Daishou was WORRIED man

Like you were fidgeting and not making eye contact

He was like "this mf boutta confess to cheating or smth 🤨"

Lemme tell you, when you came out he was beyond relieved

But he was also like "oh nooo my baby thought we'd break bc of this :((((("

Makes it his mission to prove you wrong

Bc he really does care about you and whatever you need, he's there to help

If you are afab and don't pass, he'll do whatever he can to help you make that transition

Help you pick out new clothes, if you need a new name he'll make suggestions, he'll start introducing you as his boyfriend or his partner depending on what you're more comfortable with

And if you're amab/afab and use a multitude of pronouns/are genderfluid, he'll help you with whatever you need there too

I saw this thing once where someone made three different colour bracelets for their genderfluid friend, and depending on which colour bracelet said friend wore they knew what pronouns to use

I think Daishou would do something like that

He's sweet when he wants to be

He's very accommodating for whatever you need

And will also punch someone if they misgender you on purpose or be transphobic 🥰️

~

Do not repost, translate, or copy my work on to other platforms.

[axemetaphor]

im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

[danceing-spelled-wrong]

Made a Grumpus OC

They're just one of few of them..not sure if I'll draw any of them, I drew them because..I'm bored

I have a grumpsona in mind..but I'm not finish with it's design

I guess I'll explain them

Amly Ductforce(I'm bad at names) came to Snaktooth island because they were bored and needed a vacation from their "job"

He's gender-fluid and doesn't mind people getting his pronouns wrong when he doesn't feel that gender, but some just call him a "They" and that's fine by him

One thing that she's really good at, is lying and stealing. When she came to Snaktooth Island, she started her hobby right away and stole some things from Wambus which got him pretty upset

He gives everyone nicknames despite not liking anyone besides Cromdo

She likes order yet enjoys chaos, sometimes, she would plant random objects that belong to the residents in each other's huts to start up something

When the town split, he went to the Boiling Bay due to the nice warm yet cold feel to it and because she wanted to steal stuff from Floofty

They're probably in their late 40s early 50s

Her and Cromdo get along for the most part as long as she doesn't steal anything from him

In their hut, they have a lot of stolen objects, most from Wambus

Their hut is beside Liz and Egg's hut but is to the right of the beach

If he was in the game, then you'd meet them the same time you meet Floofty

She doesn't like Lizbert because she always calls her out on the stuff she steals, same for Beffica

Due to his hatred to Lizbert, he shares the same hatred towards Eggabell but doesn't go out his way to steal from her, seeing her as too fragile

He's scared of Chandlo(because he would snap her like a twig), Shelda(because she acts like a cult leader), and Gramble(because he's too nice)

If they get caught stealing, they lie about it and theres a 90% chance it'll work due to their confident sounding voice and being a bit manipulative

Dialogue in game:

What everyone thinks of them

Filbo:

"Oh..them? They're..ok, as long as they don't cause any trouble.."

Wambus:

"...."

Beffica:

"She's just a thief, no wonder her and Cromdo work so well together, they're nothing but squeebs."

Gramble:

"I never spoke to him before..but..I don't think he likes me very much.."

Wiggle:

"She stole my banjo and said she wanted to play a song, but then she threw it off a cliff! I'm so glad I have fast reflexives."

Snorpy:

"All they do is steal stuff! Then lie about stealing that stuff! I haven't gotten my inventions back in 3 months!"

Cromdo:

"Ah..that grump is something all right..greatest business partner ever, she and I are gonna rule the money world!"

Triffany:

"Oh..Amly? I don't come in contact with her often but Wamby doesn't like her."

Chandlo:

"After they stole my balls AND Snorpy's inventions, I promised to never speak to them for the rest of my life bro!"

Floofty:

"I don't appreciate them stealing my leg or my notes. If given the chance, I would experiment on them."

Shelda:

"Do not speak of thy name who gladly would turn his back on us if given the chance!"

Cemi:

"Nope. I don't like her at all..she's not that attractive..and she hangs with Cromdo."

Charlia:

"I really don't like it when she tries to remove my arm..it hurts my feelings.."

Being asked about Floofty:

"I like stealing their stuff but if I offered to help them, I think they'll kill me."

Meeting them:

"Woah..a new face! I haven't seen anyone new around here in..grumping forever!"

"Who are ya and why are you talking to me?"

*explains*

"Oh! You're that amateur journalist Lizzie was talking about! I thought you were never coming, isn't this grand? New faces! New people! New stuff to..borrow!"

"I'm Amly Dustforce, the ruler of Snaktooth island!"

Will you come back to town?

"Wait..town? No way..if Cromy's not there, then I'm not going!"

"Also, I'm a little parched, can ya get me a Sqaquiri? I'd drink those things, everyday of the week, maybe we can..cut a deal, how's that sound doll?"

*Caught Sqaquiri*

"Now THAT was a refreshing beveridge, thanks doll!"

"So, ya want me to come back to town? Well, I might need some convincing, I want ya to find out what that Filbo kid does when nobody's lookin, I could use it for..things."

*You find out what Filbo does*

"HA! Are you serious?! Oh jezz, and I thought he couldn't be more of a squeeb! HAHA! Goodness..that's a laugh I needed..ha!"

"Good to know theres some things to see in town, but I'm more interested in WHAT is in town."

"For ya final task, I want ya to steal Beffica's diary..then rip out some pages that are interesting, and give them to me. Easy."

*You grab the pages*

"Sweet! Good job my messenger grump!"

"*sigh*, I think I'm ready to go to town..but..first I want you to get Cromy in town."

But you said that was the final task

"I lied."

"Get Cromy in town and I'll follow right behind, deal?"

*Cromdo is in town*

"Wow! That was..slow but it'll do!"

"Thanks doll, looking forward to chatting with ya! Farewell!"

Interview:

Have time for an interview?

"Interview? That sounds fun! I'm in."

Who are you?

"Amly Ductforce, it's pronounced Aim-ly. Strange. I know."

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

"I heard of Lizzie's stupid conspiracy on TV, I was about to change the channel when I heard there was an island involved, and I just so happened to be looking for a place to host my vacation. So I packed up and lied about being interested in her expedition."

Vacation from what?

"My life. My job. My family. Everything basically."

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

"I guess they're ok, the names could be better..but some taste pretty good. Note, keep away from the Aggroll."

Why?

"Because those things will break some bones and the flavor isn't even worth it! Also because it's named after someone I'm not found of."

Why did you leave town?

"I could handle the drama between Wamby and Gram, but once Cromy left, I had no reason to stay. I wanted to follow him, but I decided to live near the beach instead, so yeah."

What do you think about Cromdo?

"Me and him have a pretty decent relationship, I give him what he wants and he takes the fall for me. Simple business."

Are you planning on betraying him?

"No way, he's cool, I don't consider him a friend, but he's still great to work with."

Any info on Lizbert?

"Liz..I grumping hate her! She keeps saying I stole stuff from her, I would never do such a thing! If she didn't have that little obstacle beside her, I would burn her hut down!"

Woah, calm down. Who's this obstacle?

"I am calm..just speaking out my mind. And I'm talking about Eggabell. The doctor? Lizzie's girlfriend? Eggy bell? Yeah. She and her are like..two papers in a file. Theres nothing you can do to separate those two."

What happened to Lizbert?

"If we're being honest, I'm not sure."

Are you lying?

"Heh. For once in my life, no. I really don't know what happened to Lizzie, she went up that mountain and didn't come back."

How do you know she went up the mountain?

"I saw her."

Why didn't you tell anyone?

"I did. Nobody besides Cromy believed me, guess that's the price being the best liar in the world."

That'll be it. Thank you

"No problem doll, that was pretty fun! Here, have this!"

*stolen piece of journal paper*

"Found it while cleaning Lizzie's hurt, it might help ya in someway. Any who, I gotta run, farewell!"

Side Quests:

"Heya doll, you won't believe what I discovered! It'll help ya find Liz!"

What?

"First..get me a Poptick..it's very important."

Why?

"Trust me! It's super super SUPER important!

Sure, I guess

"Caramel please."

*Got the Poptick*

"Perfect..now..I need a Snaquiri.."

Are you going to tell me why?

"Nope. Make it quick! I have a feeling my brain's about to forget everyone!"

*Got the Snaquiri*

"Good..now..I need a Cheery, that'll be all to finish this!"

I have a feeling you're lying

"I'm hurt."

Fine.

"Hurry up! I'm losing my life force!"

*Got the Cheery*

"Alright..now-"

*silence*

What?

"That's it. I was just hungry."

Why did you say it was important

"There was no way you'd do it if I asked, so I just..slightly lied."

Slightly?!

"Calm down doll! Everything fine! Nobody got hurt.."

You have a lying problem

"I know..but I can't do anything about it, it's the only thing I got."

"When you're a liar, nobody wants to be around you, nobody likes you..and nobody will trust you."

"Ever since birth, I lied, stole, and broke so many things, nobody wants anything to do with me. I had no friend and my family kept saying I was a bad person..so I don't talk to them anymore."

"Lying is all I got left doll and if I stop, I got nothing. So I'm not stopping anytime soon, so deal with it."

"Thanks for the food..farewell."

Welcome back message:

"Oh..you're..back."

"Heya Wamby, didn't know you'd be back either! How sweet! The gangs coming back!"

"Amly, if you go near my farm-"

"What? Me? Go near your farm? No way! I would never!"

"Don't think that everyone things you're a saint! Only Cromdo thinks that!"

"I don't think I am one, but it's nice knowing you think so!"

"Just stay away from my farm."

"Deal. Happy catching up with you!"

Major Celebration Dialogue:

"You know, Cromby..maybe we should take a break from our business, we're making a few people upset by it."

"Agreed. What should we do to be occupied til then?"

"Hm..maybe we could sell Bugsnax? I could..borrow that trap the journalist uses."

"Yeah..yeah I like that idea!"

"It's settled! Cromy and Amly's marketing lives on!"

"We need a better name."

"Yeah.."

*approaching him*

"Heya doll, how's the party?"

*asked to dance*

"Sorry, but I'm working. Maybe when we sell out."

*sold out*

"Wow! That was quick, how's about a dance Cromy?"

"You bet! Meet you on the dance floor!"

Reaction to partner(I guess..he paired with Cromdo and Beff):

Cromdo: "Grumping..NO!"

Beffica: "Wait..no..what..what's going on?!"

Dying message:

"I'm nothing but a liar..a cold..worthless liar. I hurt so many people..no wonder I have no friends..at least I got bugsnax.."

Final message(Good ending):

"What the ever grump was all that?! Why..did...oh zonk who cares?We're alive! Ha ha! Amly lives to see a new day!

You know..after all of this..I think I'll finally turn over that new leaf..I'll quit my job..and start fresh in the country. I should also apologize to everyone I hurt, so..sorry doll, I stole your pen...

Geez that took a lot out of me! Ah! This'll be hard!

But..it feels..kinda nice..guess I shouldn't wait around..farewell, til we cross paths again, doll."

Final message(Bad ending)

"What..the grump? Cromdo..he's..gone. This..makes me..realize..our lives are so..fragile, I..shouldn't waste it..

Oh Cromdo..if I known that..I would have put myself in your place

At least..maybe we could be together..again

Business partners forever...ha.."

I over complicate everything

[anotherenbyjourney]

Life update

Following on from the process update I just posted regarding how things are doing with my surgery timeline etc... it’s been interesting to sit and take stock of the little things that have changed in myself as this has started setting in.

I’m out with most of my family now. They know about me being nonbinary, and about my desire for surgery. For the most part... they don’t really “get it”? But they’re all supportive. They’re rubbish at remembering pronouns. Went out for my birthday with my sisters and mum last week and had a discussion on  gendered language and how you start to notice it a lot more once you’re aware of it happening. How it’s a pretty much constant thing with me. About how it doesn’t -really- get under my skin and I’m not going to correct every shop assistant and wait staff who “gets it wrong” because its literally SO much energy and its not personal. I appreciate my inability to pass, and I appreciate that society genders its language so heavily and casually, that I bear no ill will towards complete strangers who “get it wrong”. But I also explained that, over time, like if its been a particularly heavy day of people getting it wrong, or when friends and family are getting it wrong a LOT over a long day etc, it does wear me down.

I’m always gonna be slowly, calmly and patiently pushing and supporting the use of gender neutral language. It’s entirely possible to address a group of people and not include “ladies” or “lads” or address someone without “sweetheart” or “love” or “miss/ma’am” or “mate”. It’s just how society works right now, but it can change. At no cost of effort to anyone, either. It’s not rude, it’s not hard! Nobody is going to think “omg do they not think I’m a woman??” if they aren’t addressed with female gendered language. And you can successfully avoid making people feel uncomfortable if you get it wrong. You can never be sure of what is going on with someone, so why bother “taking a gamble” or judging them for what they look like when you can just... not? I appreciate that it’s hard! I’ve gone 30 years speaking a certain way and using certain language, it’s tricky to correct yourself and re-align your way of thinking and speaking at a base level. I get it! But it’s worth making the effort.

I try not to constantly bring people up about it, I really don’t want to be “that guy” who is always harping on about this sort of thing, making people roll their eyes. “Here we go again, another lecture on gender and society and pronouns omg just go back to tumblr..” And no, it’s not my job to educate people, and no I don’t feel it my “duty” or “purpose” or my “right” to go around “englightening” or teaching people. If I see an opportunity to bring it up though, where I’m not going to make someone feel bad or stupid or singled out or attacked... I’ll consider taking it. And if people want to have an honest to goodness open, calm and reasonable discussion about it, by god I’ll try to help and join in as best I can. How can folks expect society as a whole to change, to alter its language and its biases etc, if we can’t sit down and CALMLY try to help explain it with our own unique perspectives when they are open to that discussion? It’s not gonna happen overnight. And it’s gonna suck and yeah I’m probably going to have days where I’m misgendered repeatedly, even after surgery etc, and it’s gonna be hard. But by god I would rather have those few bad days, than the Bad Life I’d been working my way through, trying to make sense of why I felt AWFUL just... all the time. Regarding my perceptions of myself... I’m not getting as dysphoric as I was. It could be that the glimmering prospect of surgery so close on the horizon now, the fact that I -am- getting things fixed, that I don’t just have to deal with it for the rest of my life, is helping. My boobs still suck. I still hate them. A Lot. But they’re a lot more manageable from a mental perspective now that I know their days are numbered. Interestingly, I don’t wear bras anymore. Well, I do. But they’re 2-sizes too small sports bras that I bought like 10 of, from Primark. I’m done with binders outside of costuming and I’m done trying to look how I want to look in this short interim period before surgery. I just want them out of the way, strapped down, immobile. The sports bras are uncomfortable. They’re very hot, they make me short of breath very easily, they are SWEATY AF. They give me uniboob like theres no tomorrow. But I tolerate it all because it’s not for very much longer. Meanwhile I don’t really want to put a bra back on. :( Not at all. I cleared all of them out of my underwear drawer. Every last one. They’re on the floor in my bedroom until I figure out what to do with them. I suppose donate them to a charity somewhere? My time spent “freeboobing” it around the house has gone down a lot too. It’s rare I’m not wearing a sportsbra, even on the days I  have no plans to leave the house (I work from home). It’s a special kind of bleak suffering, but it’s mostly just a physical discomfort rather than abjectly hating my own flesh etc, which is a step up. And it’s hopefully not for much longer at all. I had my first little wobble about surgery the other night which was disconcerting. I’ve never had surgery before or really been to hospital for.. anything, really. The process is a bit grisly and unpleasant. I’m scared about being in hospital alone. I’m scared about the possibility of pain. I’m scared in case something goes wrong. I’m scared in case I heal and it doesn’t look how I expected/wanted. I’m scared because it’s a big deal and thats just... scary??? It’s hard to explain. I just need to focus on the endgoal and why I’m doing it.