#promise im cool tho I swear and you should totally talk to me bc poor Bethi probably cannot handle me mentioning fzero to her again 😭

[eliquidsconchshell]

Me: man I rlly wanna start interacting with my mutuals more!!

Also me: trembling at the thought of initiating conversation

[thegeminisage]

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

oh

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her 

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T