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[fruittt-punchhh]

Pop My Cherry!

all parts

Synopsis: your dad's best friend is none other than Toji Fushiguro, and you can't help but wonder what he could do with his hands.

Characters: Toji Fushiguro x reader. Geto x reader a little bit, kinda not really. Nobara x reader (kissin’ n stuff)

Content: Minors Do Not Interact! smut, afab! reader, fem! reader, dad's best friend! Toji, suggestiveness, cursing, inexperienced (ish) reader, reader is a virgin but has done things ya know, female masturbation, male masturbation, mutual masturbation, getting caught in the act, reader smokes weed, alcohol usage, pet/ affectionate names, age gap (reader is 24, Toji is in his 30s), Toji calls reader (doll, slut, bitch, etc.), big dick! Toji, cunnilingus (f! receiving), jealousy, Nobara and reader kiss and stuff, sending nudes (if that makes you uncomfortable just scroll through!), public sex if you squint really hard.

TW: karaoke lmao

Word count: 7.5k (ur welcome)

Notes: why hello again cuties!🫶😭thank you for all the support. Please enjoy this part! Next part is currently in the works so it’ll be up soon-ish. As always, let me know what you think! much love, fruit punch🧃

You awake in the morning to an empty house. Toji must still be working, and your dad and brother were packing to leave already. You stretch and yawn as you place your feet on the floor, hips still aching from the rough treatment from Toji last night. You put on your house shoes as you shuffle into the living room.

“Hey, y/n! Thought you’d up and died in there, haha,” your dad says, reaching to give you a hug.

You three discuss the fishing trip, school, and your dads next big project at work. You woke up pretty late, so they were almost out the door by the time you caught them. You all exchanged goodbyes and I love you’s before you head back to your room.

You decide to clean up the mess that you had made last night, throwing your sheets in the wash along with your bikini. You try to distract yourself from the thoughts that flood your mind. You turn up the music playing in the speaker as you decide to tidy the rest of the house. You knew you’d have a busy night ahead of you, and you definitely wanted to come home to a clean house.

————————————————————————

You finished the rest of your drink as you started to curl your hair. You had previously planned to go to the club with some college friends that lived in the area. It was Saturday night, and after your experience with Toji last night, you knew you needed to get fucked up. With no new texts from him since yesterday, you figured it’d be best to forget it ever happened and just try to get laid tonight if you could manage. You swiped left to delete the messages, hoping your drink hits your system quickly.

Everything with Toji was perfect- thinking about it for longer than you had to was making you sweat. But you couldn’t help the nagging feeling of guilt deep in your core. It would crush your dad to find out that you were into older men, especially when those older men were very close to him. Plus, you and Toji were in two totally different phases of your life. You had plans to go to graduate school and well, he just sat around and drank and when he wasn’t drinking he was at work doing god knows what. You still had no insight as to what his profession was (if you can even call it that), but you knew he made enough to go out to clubs, bars, and casinos most nights of the week.

You knew Toji had a gambling problem from your father, but he made it seem like he had plenty of money to spare. Toji didn’t seem like he was rich by any means, always wearing the same cycle of workout clothes, jeans, and sweats. You don’t recall ever seeing him dressed up.

As you finish the last few curls in your hair, you run to your dresser looking for the package Toji left there yesterday. It had a fishnet bra, panties, and stockings. You really just wanted the stockings to go with your black skirt and black bra combo, but the full set was ridiculously on sale. You just had to get it. It hugged your figure in all the right ways and made you feel, for once, really fucking sexy.

You had no intentions of leaving the club without someone with you, so you decide to take a tasteful nude just in case you want to use it as a bargaining chip later. You continue with the rest of your outfit, opting for black platform boots instead of your regular stilettos. All that was left was your makeup, a shot or two, and you were good to go.

You finish the last coat of your mascara, and as you wait for your lash glue to dry, you order the Uber. Your dad had to return to work back in the states, and your brother went back to campus early. It was just you in the house. You decided to blast your music, dancing as you await your ride. You looked pretty damn good and you were ready to get laid, or at least find someone to dance with at the minimum.

————————————————————————

You walk into the club — the music was so loud you felt the bass in your heart and your ears were rattling. The DJ was doing a great job, and you knew just the thing to get you back into the dancing mood.

“Who wants shooooots?” You yell to your girlfriends, and a few random patrons at the bar. You order shots for everyone, including two for yourself. The liquor burned on the way down but you knew in just a few minutes you wouldn’t have a care in the world.

You finish your other drink as your friend convinces you to join her on the dance floor. You two take turns guessing how big everyones dick is, far too drunk to care who can hear you.

“Oh his is definitely bigger than average and he looks like he knows what to do with it,” your friend Nobara giggles, blushing as she covers her mouth. She points to a tall, pink haired man behind you, with little scars near his eyes.

“Ohmygod! Okay, n-nobara you’re literally so right bitch,” normally Nobara would never let you address her as that, but you were all too fucked to care. Your other friend mentions that the tall black haired man with the plugs looks like he’s hung, to which you agree. They dare you to go get his number, and you wouldn’t mind finding out if your speculations were true.

“Hi, I’m y/n, -sorry, s-so loud in here, hah” you yell, grabbing onto his sleeve for support.

“It’s okay pretty, I’m Geto. Nice to meet you,” he says in your ear, making shivers run down your spine. You knew he was hot but you didn’t expect his voice to turn you on that much.

Feeling all confidence being thrown out the window, you ask him, “my friends dared me to get your number and you are really cute. You can give me a fake one if you want!” You beam up at him. He was quite excited to exchange information. His phone was on a charger somewhere, so he puts his number in your phone.

“Ohmygod, you got it?!” They scream. With happy giggles they order another round of drinks for themselves and a shot for you, to congratulate you on your stunning victory.

At this point, your vision was hazy and you were far too sweaty for your own good. The DJ had started playing some of Charli XCX’s new album ‘brat’, the title of which you felt was a very applicable name for yourself.

“Holy shit-“ your other friend starts.

“S’up?” You yell.

“I know we stopped playing a while ago, but he looks like he’s got the biggest dick of them all”

You turn. Trying your damndest to keep your balance, you look towards the entrance to see none other than Mr. Fushiguro.

You knew you were fucked. He had left you on read and you hadn’t seen him since. You were confused about the relationship between you two, especially since you were back to university in a few days. You pray to god that he doesn’t notice you and turn back around, trying to shuffle more towards the middle of the dance floor. You mutter a halfhearted ‘yeah’ to your friend before you spin her around and start dancing to the next song.

Geto appears behind you and he grabs on to your waist, asking if he could dance with you and your friends. You yell back an ‘of course!’ as you all start jumping to the music.

He walked in the bar, looking to occupy his favorite seat for most of the night. He came here after he was done at the casino, usually to get a couple drinks, listen to music, and maybe get his dick sucked in the bathroom if he was lucky. He had been feeling much too antisocial lately, opting to drown his sorrows in another drink instead of another woman.

He looks through the crowd as he sees someone he never expected to go on stage.

The song comes to an end as the dj yells ‘karaoke anyone?!’ You had just finished yet another shot Geto bought for you as your friends are pushing you to the stage. You try to plant your feet flat on the floor to no avail as your balance was questionable at best. Before you know it you’re on stage, grabbing the microphone, looking out at the crowd and seeing nothing but blurry faces.

You tell the dj to play the song ‘Guess’ by Charli, just to keep the vibes going. You hear the beat come in as you start to dance on stage, currently unaffected by the hundreds of eyes planted on you and your movements. You were a shitty singer so thankfully, this song was more talking than anything.

‘You wanna guess the color of my underwear.’

‘You wanna know what I got going on down there.’

You chant as you hear your friends screaming in the crowd for you.

‘Is it pretty in pink or all see-through?’

‘Is it showin’ off my brand new lower back tattoo?’

You spin around, lowering your skirt just a hair to reveal the little heart tattoo you have on your lower back. It definitely wasn’t a new tattoo by any means, but it fit the song nonetheless. You spin around, seeing Nobara shout for you near the front.

To your surprise, you also see an all too familiar face approach the front of the stage. Toji looks up at you and you swear you see him sweating. He has a cigarette in between his lips and a drink in hand, not even dancing to the music. He was too entranced by your presence on the stage to think about anything other than you.

‘You wanna put ‘em in your mouth, pull ‘em all down south.’

‘You wanna turn this shit out, that’s what I’m talkin’ about’

You failed to pull your skirt back up from earlier, leaving little to the imagination as your fish net panties peek through the top of your skirt. You feel the beat drop as the hook comes in, charli’s voice saying the words for you this time around as you continue to dance. You sway your hips and the crowd is going wild for you. You know the beat drop is coming so you start to jump. You repeat the chorus from earlier, dancing as slutty as you can for the man in front of you. Your tits were bouncing as you jumped and you had to put your hand on top of them to keep them from escaping.

The bridge is coming as you drop to your hands and knees, crawling towards the black-haired man in front of you. He takes a final puff of his cigarette before he’s putting it in between your lips with a smirk. He takes a drink as you take a puff, blowing out the bitter smoke as you continue.

‘Guess.’

The crowd goes wild as you see everyone, excluding Toji, jumping up and down to the beat. He has a thumb tucked into his belt as he bites his bottom lip, eyeing your figure up and down. You and the crowd chant to the bridge.

“Guess. Guess. Guess. Guess. Guess. Guess.”

You finish your little dance as the outro plays. The part you had to sing was practically over, so you head to the stairs on the side of the stage.

You meet back up with your friends and they are all but losing their shit.

‘Y/n that was so fuckin’ good!’

‘Okay girl who knew you had it in you??’

‘I’m deeeeeead, you looked so fucking hot up there!!’

You fan your audience away, telling them ‘please, no paparazzi’

You feel Geto come up behind you as he congratulates you, telling you your performance was amazing. You thank him with a smile as he goes to find his friends in the crowd.

Toji must have missed you when you rejoined the crowd because he was no where to be seen. At this point, you’ve had so many drinks you can’t count. You feel a buzz in your pocket from an unknown number.

You assume it must be Geto. You search the crowd for him, spotting him in the back. You shoot him a smile as he does the same.

You remembered the picture from earlier, hoping this might signal him to take you out of here.

The nickname rings an all too familiar bell as you try to forget the ache in your stomach. You send him the picture with a heart emoji. You search for Geto again, hoping to see his reaction. You catch his eyes again as he turns around, continuing to dance with his friends. Odd. But not out of the ordinary.

Whoa. It must have worked. You anxiously await the clock as you dance to the last song of the album.

You start to push yourself through the crowd as you head towards the bathroom. You see Geto to your left, and he hasn’t moved-only greeting you with a smile and a sloppy wave. Weird. Maybe he was just waiting for you to see if you were down? Who knows, you think, as you finally make it to the bathroom.

It’s dimly lit with only red LEDS along the ceiling. It’s a family bathroom (in a club yeah right) so the door (thankfully) has a lock. You put your back against the wall as you wait for geto.

You continue to bob your head to the music as the door opens. Before you can turn your head to greet him, you are slammed against the wall with a hand up your shirt. That’s when the all too familiar scent of pine and liquor hit your nose.

“Toji?!”

You find it hard to push him away as he is grabbing every inch of your body, so possessively and full of want. He grunts in your ear as you hug him back, scratching down his back underneath his slutty white tee.

“I didn’t think you had it in you, doll. Getting up on stage, dancing like a fuckin’ stripper in front of everyone. You were makin’ me lose my mind.”

You feel so embarrassed, knowing that toji was witness to the whole performance.

“And you really think you’re slick, huh? Sending me pictures like that and thinkin’ I won’t fuck you right here in front of everybody on the bathroom floor.”

Sending pictures? Oh shit. There’s no way, I mean it had to be Geto. You didn’t recognize the area code and there were no previous messages. But that would explain his distant behavior earlier.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought I-I was sending them to some-someone else.”

“Yeah I know you did you slut. These tits and this pussy are just for me, ya’ got it? Thought you woulda’ learned that by now, seein’ as I made you squirt all over me yesterday.”

You face burns as he rubs you through your fishnet panties. You whine underneath him, desperately holding onto his arm for stability.

“I’m sorry, T-Toji. I can take some mo-more for you if ya want”

“Oh there’s no ifs. You’re going to.”

Toji crouches down and suddenly has you in the air above him. Your back is still to the wall as he lifts your right leg up, bringing your wet cunt level with his face. He throws your leg over his shoulder and scoots your left leg out, making you spread yourself in front of him once again.

He wastes no time devouring you through your panties and he doesn’t even give you the decency of pulling them to the side. He slides his tongue through the holes of your panties, drawing out cry after cry from you. All the liquor has made you too horny for your own good as your orgasm fast approaches. You thread both hands in his hair as you pull him close to you, desperate to cum.

“T-Toji, fuck, m-cumming”

He pulls off of you and drops your leg down onto the floor. Did he really just edge you?

He’s pulling your panties down your plush thighs and shoves them into his pocket. You think he’s going to finally have his way with you, until he starts standing up.

“I’m keeping these. You know better than to wear something so slutty in front of me and not expect me to devour you.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little flattered, knowing he liked your outfit and everything you had on underneath. He kissed your cheek as he pulls back to whisper in your ear.

“Good girls get to cum, but you haven’t been that good have ya’? That’s for tryin’ t’show those pretty tits to some other bitch. Just know the only reason I’m not fucking you right here right now is because I wouldn’t want to pop your cherry in the club bathroom. You’re a slut, but you’re not a whore,” he says, giving your ass a hard slap as you yelp.

“Now get the fuck outta here. I’ll find you when I’m ready to leave, yeah?” He says as he turns you around and pushes you out the door. You’ve barely maintained your balance as you’re shuffling out the door as you hear it close and lock behind you.

Toji shuts the door and locks it and immediately has his pants around his ankles. Seeing you up on stage, showing everyone your tattoo that he had never managed to see, while you sway your hips directly in front of him. He saw the fishnets peeking out of your skirt and your top and he knew he had to see what you had on underneath, just as the song implied.

He decided to text you instead of approaching just in case you wanted nothing to do with him. You responded quickly, obviously very drunk, and sent him a picture that nearly had him poking someone’s eye out with his raging hard-on. He had to taste you, even if just for a moment.

His hands are working on his length furiously. He brings your panties up to his big nose, smelling them with a grunt. Covered in perfume, sweat, and your wetness. He spits on them, bringing them down to his hard cock.

He doesn’t want you to leave without him, and he’s scared you’ll go find the younger, raven-haired man to accompany you instead of him. He runs his hand over his slit, rubbing his precum all over the tip. He’s coming closer to his orgasm as he rubs your panties up and down his length. He pulls out the picture you sent him earlier before he’s accidentally cumming all over his phone screen, paying tribute to your slutty thighs and big tits as best he can. He washes his phone off and buttons his pants before he’s back on the dance floor.

You were pretty short, so Toji had a hard time locating you. He was about to ask the bartender if he’d seen you, when he catches you traipsing out the front door with a couple of friends. Were you leaving?? Surely not after the interaction you two just had.

Had he really just edged you?? In the club bathroom nonetheless. You needed a smoke break and a break in general from the flashing lights and loud music. You take Nobara and another friend outside as you pull out the joint from behind your ear. You weren’t sure if you wanted to smoke tonight, but the adrenaline rush from being on stage on top of the feeling Toji left you with was enough to seal the deal.

Toji heads towards the door, hoping to catch you and offer you a ride home before you’re gone. He had only a few drinks and would be sober enough in no time. He grabs your arm as he sees you light up your joint.

“Where d’ya think you’re going, huh?” He whispers in your ear as he pulls you close to him by your waist.

You take a deep breath, letting the harsh smoke enter your lungs and praying it will fix all of your problems. You felt a large hand on your arm, thinking it might be a security guard ready to chastise you for smoking so close to the entrance. Until that hand becomes two hands on your waist and you feel an all too familiar length being pushed into the softness of your ass. Toji had really followed you out here. Did he think you were leaving or something?

“N-nowhere, I just needed a smoke after-“

“After what?”

“Uhm, the song, that’s all,” you say, blushing as he takes the joint from your hand. You look at him surprised, not expecting the old man to be okay with smoking weed. He takes a long puff as he brings his lips to yours, blowing the smoke into your nose and mouth as you kiss him back with fervor.

“Um hello? I’m right here lovebirds,” you hear Nobara say to your left.

“Jesus, s-sorry Nobara”

You pull away from Toji and you let him keep the blunt.

“Why don’t ya’ lemme’ have this? Wouldn’t want ya’ killing all your brain cells before your last semester, right? I’ll get you some more drinks when we go inside,” Toji murmurs in your ear, just loud enough for you to hear.

“Are you gonna’ introduce me to your friend here or are you two just going to fuck in the street?”

Nobara says, snapping you out of your trance for the second time that night.

“S-sorry, this is… T-Toji, the one I was telling you about,” you say as Nobara’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

“This is Toji? Like the Toji?” You wish Nobara wouldn’t lay it on so thick, as if you hadn’t spent all day on the phone telling her every detail about your escapades.

“Yeah, that Toji. I’m her dad’s best friend, isn’t that right hun?”

If you thought Nobara’s eyes couldn’t get any wider, you were wrong. She somehow hadn’t put two and two together that the Toji you were fucking was also the Mr. Fushiguro that your father was friends with.

“Ohhhhhhh. Ohhhh, okayyyyy. Everything is connecting now, haha. I think I might head back inside and leave you two to it. Come find me when you get back inside y/n”

“Of course, we’ll be back in just a second! You still owe me a dance,” you can barely get the words out before Nobara is closing the door and Toji is turning you around.

“Let’s sit, yeah? I’m sure you’re exhausted from shaking your ass for everyone.”

Toji pulls out a chair only for himself as he watches you sit across from him.

“Silly girl, your seat’s right here,” he says looking into your eyes as he pats his lap. You regrettably get back up and go to sit on his lap, knowing that your lack of panties would not help your arousal. You sit down and immediately feel a large rod underneath you, lined up with your cunt so perfectly, you could sit here forever.

“That’s right, good girl. Now try not to make a big mess on me, okay? These are my good pants and according to you we’ve still got some dancin’ to do,” Toji says with a smirk. He’s finished nearly half the joint now, and you can tell his high has definitely hit him. His eyes are two lines as you attempt to make eye contact with him.

“Somebody’s hiiiiiiiiigh,” you say in a singsong voice, giggling at him as you do so. He keeps puffing until you feel him shaking underneath you. You look back to see Toji giggling too. Scratch that, he was full on laughing. He was slapping his knee and everything like some old fogey. He couldn’t put the joint down now, not while there was so little left. But you were right in your assumption. Toji rarely smoked, preferring to drink when he got off work. Yet here he was, toking on the weed like it was a cigarette and he felt like he might have fucked up. He wanted to think of something sly to say back to you, but his mind was empty except for thoughts of you, as always.

“Hell yeah I’m high,” he says, giggling like a little school girl. “Wanna get back inside? I still never rewarded you for your stellar performance earlier.” Curious as to what reward he had in mind, you stand up and grab his hand. The two of you walk back inside as he leads you to the bar.

“Let me get a vodka cran’ for my lady, please”

Your lady? You were loving this special treatment, wanting to bask in it all night long. He hands you your drink as you chug it, not wanting to waste one of your hands holding a drink when it could be on Toji’s body. You two make it back to the dance floor and you find Nobara talking to a tall, fit woman with a long white braid on her shoulder. The braid was hanging in her face and you wondered if she could even see walking around in a dark night club like that.

“Ohmygod, Toji?!” She exclaims, running up to him to hug him, nearly pushing you over out of excitement. You don’t know why, but seeing him hug her back sent you fuming. You felt as if everyone could see the smoke coming out of your ears. You knew Toji wasn’t your boyfriend or whatever, but you still had some sort of feelings for him, even if they were only rooted in lust.

“Mei, h-hey, how’ve you been? It’s been a while!”

You’d never seen Toji say anything exclamatory in his life, except for when he was laying with you. You watch the two of them catch up as you grab Nobara by the hand and walk away.

“Are we leaving?! I found this cute girl and I was just about to go talk to her!” You assure her that while you weren’t leaving, you had a new mission: make Toji jealous.

Nobara suggested you go grind on Geto, which seemed like an excellent idea, if you weren’t scared for what Toji would do with him if he saw you. Besides, he was absolutely no where to be found. You checked your phone to see a missed message from him.

‘Hey, y/n, it was super nice to meet you! Had to go home, and you looked pretty occupied with your friend in the white shirt, so I didn’t wanna bother you. I’d love to get coffee sometime! x’

Jesus, you were such an asshole. You text him back, letting him know you were too fucked up to come up with a coherent response and that you would say something back that actually made sense tomorrow. You let Nobara know the bad news, but she is quick to come up with another plan.

“You definitely don’t have to, but you could grind on me if you want… or kiss me. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, you know I’m always down to help out a friend,” Nobara stammers as you watch a faint blush creep up her cheeks.

“Oh, Nobara, don’t be embarrassed. I’d love to. I’ve always thought you were cute, but you’re too good of a best friend to try and date I think,” you admit. You definitely found yourself looking at Nobara’s curves all too often when you were at the gym together.

“No, I totally agree! I mean you’re hot as fuck, but if we broke up someday I don’t think I’d be able to look at you ever again,” she says, inching closer towards you.

You wrap your hands around her waist, bringing her even closer to you.

“Soooooo……”

“Sooooooooooooo….”

You both say, trying not to make this mission any awkward than it already was. You hear the next song come on and the beat was shaking the floor. You take this as a sign to step even closer to Nobara as you put your lips on hers.

You two were moving with the music and the bodies in the crowd, as you run your fingers through your hair. You two were full on making out now, laughing in between breaths as you try your hardest not to take Nobara home instead of Toji. You didn’t really care if Toji noticed or not since you were having the most fun you’ve had all night wrapped up with Nobara in this way.

She sucks on your lip, pulling away to ask if she can touch your butt.

“Nobara you touch my butt all the time,” you say, giggling, looking up at her puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah, but this is different. You can totally say n-“

You grab Nobara’s hands and reach them behind you as she grabs a handful of you under your skirt. You kiss her back as her eyes are wide open. You continue this for a while, switching places with her as you grab on her body, not wanting the moment to end.

Toji tells Mei he’ll see her later as he goes to close his tab. He had already spent far too much for his liking, and you were way too drunk to have anything else tonight. The drink he got you earlier was just straight cranberry juice, little did you know. He thanks the bartender as he puts his card back in his wallet, turning around as he felt the wind get knocked out of him.

He saw you in the crowd, tongue shoved down some red head’s throat. She was grabbing your ass as you knead her tit, giggling as you two whisper to each other.

Nobara just admitted you may actually have the biggest dick at the party, to which you can’t help but giggle. Being edged earlier made you feel all too eager for things to move further as you hear someone’s throat clearing to your right.

You pull away from Nobara and look beside you to see Toji sitting on a bar stool, a cigarette trapped between his teeth as he grabs both of his legs, trying to keep himself from standing up.

“Havin’ fun?” He says with a glint in his eyes. Not to be a perverted boy, but he could watch you do this for hours. The way you had your friend melting under your touch, gasping for more than just a kiss as you teased her for the sole purpose of making him jealous.

Nobara looks at you with a grin on her face. She leans in for another peck, as she turns away, “Looks like it worked. That was fun, we should try it again sometime. I think I might call an Uber. Getting late,” she says, yawning. She seems totally unfazed, as if you two weren’t just swapping spit for the last few minutes.

“I can ride with you!” You say before she’s interrupting you, telling you to stay with your man. You wouldn’t exactly call him that, but one thing you never did was start an argument with Nobara.

She mouths to you, “let me know if he’s good or not,” winking as she heads for the door.

“Who’s that little redhead? I like her, seems feisty. I like ‘em with a lil’ bit of attitude,” he says, smirking as he puts out his cigarette. He stands up, having had enough of his private show.

“Her name’s Nobara and she’s my friend. Who the fuck was that girl with the braid?”

“Seemed like more than just a friend, your tongue in her mouth and all.” Toji tried so hard to not let on that while he was extremely turned on by the sight, he was also entirely too jealous for his liking. Jealous was not an emotion he frequented. If he even though he might get jealous, he moved on to the next bitch that was fawning over him. But here he was, seeing red as he awaits your response.

“She is just a friend. But you still didn’t answer my question, ya’know.”

“Her name’s Mei. Old coworker. Haven’t seen her in years and last I heard, she was missing. You’ve never been excited to see an old friend?”

Oh. You thought she was definitely an ex-lover, given their tight embrace. Toji didn’t come off as the touchy type, so watching him hug her back so eagerly made you livid.

“No I have, but you look like you wanted to fuck her, I mean what is your-“

“Doll, if I wanted to fuck her I already would have. I’ve only got eyes for one person right now, if ya’ couldn’t tell.”

You walk towards him, hands clasped in front of you as you ask who this person might be.

“Probably the girl I just jacked off to in the bathroom, I think. She sent me this slutty picture and I came all over my phone as soon as I pulled up the pic,” he says, grabbing you by your hand.

Had he really cum to that picture? You didn’t think you looked all that hot, and knowing Toji, you figured he needed to watch a thirty minute gangbang video in order to get his nut off.

“Wooowwww. I mean even I need a video to cum, but you’re over here cumming to a picture? Pathetic.”

You had no idea what you just said. He yanks your hand as he quickly makes his way towards the exit.

“T-Toji I’m joking, please s-slow down! Where are we going??”

He doesn’t answer as he drags you along the street. You figured you’d get an Uber in case Toji was just being dramatic, but he snatches the phone out of your hand before you can even unlock it.

“Don’t want’ya sending any more pictures tonight little girl. We’re going to mine, pick up the pace before I carry you,” he finally says. You tried your hardest to keep up with the large man in front of you, but his stride was so big. You had short legs and you were ridiculously drunk. You try your hardest to plant your feet, forcing him to turn around. It had started sprinkling at this point, and you raise your hands above your head to keep the rain from ruining your pretty face of makeup.

“Toji, you’re too fucking fast. And you don’t have to hold my hand, you-“

Toji has had enough. The rain was picking up and like he said, these were his good pants that he did not feel like dry cleaning.

You watch Toji get into a stance as if he’s about to tackle you, picking you up under your butt and throwing you over his shoulder like a rag doll. He holds the back of your knees with his large hand as he starts to walk towards his apartment. He kept an apartment downtown due to how often he was out at the casino too late in the night to spend $50 dollars on an Uber back to the condo.

You don’t even care to protest as you’d rather have the rain hitting your back anyways. It was cool to the touch and you didn’t really mind letting this man have his way with you. You did want to play fight with him, lightly hitting his butt as you let out, ”nooooo, please don’t take me and do whatever you want to me sir”

He responds only by giving your ass a light smack before he kisses it. You couldn’t help but call him a pervert, and the sound of that word leaving your lips had him rock hard again. He was a pervert to an extent, but only for you.

———————————————————————

He plops you down at the front of his door, motioning for you to go inside after he unlocks it. You stumble in, reaching for the light switch, flicking it on as you hear Toji hiss behind you. He fumbles for the switch, turning it back off quickly.

“Too fuckin’ bright, Jesus”

He grabs your hand and walks you to the bathroom. His apartment was clean, and pretty cozy. He didn’t stay here often, so you noticed the dust covering most of his appliances. You turn on the bathroom light and turn around to ask him what his plans were for you.

“My plans? Get this makeup off and get in the bed,” he says, fumbling through the shelves to find a washcloth. You cross your arms and pout as you grab his arm.

“But Toji I want it. Want you, please”

He grabs a new bar of soap from underneath the sink and turns the warm water on, giving it a moment to heat up. He puts his hand on the counter and gives you a stern look.

“Look, y/n. You couldn’t possibly understand how bad I want you, too. But you’re too drunk and I’m the highest I’ve been in a while. Last time I checked, you were still a virgin. Doesn’t mean I plan on going easy on ya’, but we need to wait.”

You continue to pout, poking your bottom lip out. Maybe you can convince him with your mouth, and not your words. You reach for his belt buckle as you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him.

He kisses you back, hesitantly at first. You moan into the kiss, unable to control yourself. As soon as that first moan leaves your lips, he’s pulling away so he can run his hands under the warm water, adjusting the temperature so it’s not too hot.

He brings his wet hands to your face, making sure to cover every inch of your skin so this process wouldn’t take any longer than it already has.

“Keep making noises like that and I won’t be able to stop myself. Shut up and lemme help you, then we’ll get in the bed. I can sleep on the couch if ya’ want”

You couldn’t seem to take no for an answer, as you let out the most earth-shattering, loud moan you can muster. Your mouth is stuck in an ‘o’ shape as you moan Toji’s name, trying to see how far you could push the man.

Hearing that from your mouth made him feel like his cock would explode. He puts a hand over your mouth and pushes you against the wall, making your head hit the wall a little too hard for your liking.

“Have ya’ lost your fuckin’ mind? I have neighbors ya’know? I already told you no, and if you can’t take that as an answer, you’re gonna be the one sleepin’ on the couch.”

You look at him with wide eyes as he removes his hand from your mouth. He kisses the top of your head, muttering an apology for hitting your head on the wall. He grabs the soap, letting it run under the water before he lathers it up in his hands.

He brings his hands to your face and starts washing your face for you as if you were inept.

“I can wash my own damn face, Toji”

He laughs at you, still very high from the joint he stole earlier.

“Yeah, not before you poke out your own eye with those nails. Just lemme’ take care of ya’ then we’ll get in bed.”

You huff as you let him continue. You enjoyed seeing a more gentle, domestic side of him. Albeit in odd circumstances, it was still an unexpected surprise. He tells you to rinse your face off and gives you the washcloth to dry your face.

“Just throw the lashes away, I’ll get ya’ some new ones tomorrow.”

“What, these old things? They’re all natural,” you say with a fake accent. He simply reaches up and takes the pair of lashes off, dropping them in the trash.

“How do you know to do this shit anyways? Lots of experience?”

He glares at you as if you just asked if the sky is blue.

“I wash my own face woman. Makeup is just another layer of shit to wash off.”

You somehow find yourself agreeing with him as you finish wiping the water off of your neck. You start to take off your jewelry as you watch him pull his pants down as he whips out his cock.

Well, you don’t know if you should call it that, given that he was almost entirely soft now. He flips the lid of the toilet up, taking care of his bladder right in front of you. You look him up and down with questioning eyes.

“Ewww, you could have waited!”

“You’re the one starin’, doll. Look who’s the pervert now,” he says, cleaning himself off and only pulling up his boxers. “Let’s get in bed,” he says, leading you by your lower back to his bedroom.

He’s taking off the rest of his clothes on the way, leaving them scattered in the hallway. You wanted him taking those clothes off in other circumstances, but you follow his lead, taking everything off except your bra (since someone still had your panties).

“Whoa, gotta let me know when you’re getting undressed next time. Got me sweatin’ over here,” he says, trying to think of his most annoying coworkers to help his chub go down.

“You think m’sleepin’ in this? Pssshh-,” you say, laughing as you try to unclasp your bra. Your nails were too long and it was only making it more difficult.

“Here,” he starts, making his way behind you to help you take it off. He tries his best to avert his eyes, somehow feeling guilty for admiring you when you two were supposed to be strictly going to bed right now.

“I know we’re not fuckin’ tonight, but you are so goddamn perfect f’me,” he admits, letting out a breath as he watches you walk ahead of him, hips swaying so tantalizingly back and forth. Hair cascading down your pretty back. Tits so big he could see their outline from the back. He clears his throat, mentally cursing himself for jacking off earlier. If he would have just let it go down, he’d probably be fine right now. But cumming to that picture and thinking about cumming on those tits forreal had him feeling like a creep.

You wait for Toji to join you near the bed. You don’t want to overstep and you didn’t know what side of the bed he slept on. He asks what you’re waiting for, and when he hears you mumble ‘you’, he smiles so bright. You’re both totally naked now as you climb under the sheets, shivering at the cool linen brushing against your warm body. Toji sat across from you, not touching you anywhere.

“Ya’know, seeing you makeout with that girl was hot n’all, but you really pissed me off doing that.”

Pissed him off? That was not your goal at all.

“What, w-why? I was jus’ tryin’ to make you jealous is all,” you admit.

“Yeah, well it fuckin’ worked. Don’t do that shit in front of me again unless you want to see me go to prison.”

Oh. He was really serious. You could only imagine what he’d do if he saw you grinding in Geto’s lap. Thank god for Nobara.

You scoot towards him, “M’sorry, I won’t do it again, promise. Now can we cuddle please? So cold, baby,” you huff. He wraps his arms around you as you bury your head in his chest, entwining your legs with his.

“You’re lucky. Don’t do this with just anybody. And it’s takin’ all my strength not to bend you over and break you right now. Only reason I’m not makin’ you cum right now s’cuz I wanna’ give you a break before tomorrow.”

You mumble an ‘awwww’ as he tells you to shut up and go to sleep. You thank him for the second night in a row, only earning a ‘mmmhm’ from the man beside you. He’s already drifting off to sleep, exhausted from the night of work before and the long night he’s spent with you. You shut your eyes, trying to steady yourself as you feel the room spinning around you. You take a few deep breaths and finally fall asleep, knowing you needed all the rest you could get for the day you had ahead of you.

@scorpiosugar @theobsidianempress mwahahah

[rhysmorgann]

• Full name: Rhys Arthur Morgan • Nickname: Morgan • Date of Birth: 14th of February • Hometown: Kismet Harbor, Oregon • Gender: Male • Pronouns: He / Him • Orientation: Pansexual • Relationship Status: Divorced, Single • Occupation: Freelance Photographer and Owner of Morgan Studio • Living Arrangements: Studio flat above his photography studio Downtown • Language(s) Spoken: English, some French, German and Italian • Label: The Playboy • Positive Traits: Confident - Generous - Hard Working • Negative Traits: Arrogant - Selfish - Judgemental

Rhys was born and raised in Kismet Harbor. He has three other brothers. His older brothers are Donny and Abel Morgan, while Archie is the youngest.

He has always been creative. Rhys has always loved to draw, as well as creating things, over sports. Much to his father’s frustration. He was a part of the high school newspaper, in addition to the high school yearbook, as one of the photographers.

After finishing off high school, Rhys applied and was accepted to UCLA Department of Arts where he studied photography, despite his parents wishes to either become a doctor or a lawyer. He had originally compromised with them that he'd be studying something else in addition to photography, however he didn't go through with it.

College in California was a blast for Rhys. Being from a small town, he embraced the big city and its potential to try further his photography career, to its fullest. Attending parties and various gatherings almost every single week, both college and none college related.

It was at one of these college parties where he initially met Valeria Delgado. The two did anything but hit it off, as the two butted heads from the start, and whenever the two ran into each other throughout college since.

During his second year, Rhys did a semester abroad in the UK where he attended Cambridge University. Here he ended up as the room mate and eventually close friend of Aindreis Blythe. Despite the two occasionally partying together it wasn’t until Rhys had started receiving a number of concerning phone calls about his roommate needing to be picked up from nights out he didn’t attend himself, and was always highly intoxicated when doing so, that he started to worry. Rhys eventually decided to reach out to his family to express his concerns right before his semester in the UK ended considering he was leaving to go back to the states thinking it was the right thing to do at the time.

After graduating UCLA, he started working as a freelance photographer, working small and odd jobs here and there to get by. He was close to deciding to return to Kismet Harbor, when he was booked in last minute to a socialite's wedding after their photographer had to cancel last minute. His work was published in a magazine, and things kind of took off from there. Traveling became a part of his life, loving every minute of it, only returning to Kismet Harbor to visit family during the holidays. He's travelled all over the world, mainly working for various magazines on various projects.

About three years ago (2021), after booking a surprise trip to Vegas to visit his brother Abel (whom he could not locate at the time), he ended up running into Valeria again. After butting heads as always, the two got to chatting and ended up getting drunk together while reminiscing over their college days, before they ended their night together hitting the casino’s; as one does when in Vegas.

Something else one apparently does in Vegas, is to get drunkenly married. At least that is what the two realised the following morning and despite deciding to apply for an annulment, the judge decided that the two needed it stay married for at least three years before they could reapply for an official divorce. This was not a decision either of the two were particularly happy with, but they endured by staying married in paper while living apart.

For convenience sake, seeing Val was headed back to Kismet Harbor anyway, Rhys agreed to let her stay in his apartment above his photography studio. That way the two would at least share the same legal address should they ever need to document their attempts at proving the authenticity of their marriage before a judge. Rhys has still to this day not yet disclosed about his marriage to anyone, and acts very much as if he is single.

It wasn’t until recently, when Valeria had him served the signed divorce papers, he decided it would be time to return to town. Little does he know his life is about to change on more ways than one.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

- High school ex(es) - Childhood friend(s) - College room mate(s) - Friends from College / LA / London - College ex(es) from LA / London - Rivals - High school enemies - One night stands - “Affair”

[gffa]

Do you think one could follow the Jedi Code/Lifestyle in real life as a positive manner of living or do you think it only works in Star Wars? I asked this on r/Mawinstallation and the answers I got were either:

''The Jedi code is oppressive so no'' ( this was the most upvoted answer )

''The Jedi code works but only for the Jedi''

''The Jedi code requires the force to work and since the force doesn't exist in the real world, the code cannot work''

And finally, I got only a single reply that said

''Yes, the Jedi code does work in real life, that's the entire point of Star Wars''.

What is your take on this?

This is going to be sort of a long, roundabout answer, but the short version is: In the finer details, we're not space psychics, but as a general idea? Yes. First of all, what even IS the Jedi Code?  Are we talking about the whole “there is no emotion, there is peace”/”emotion, yet peace” meditation mantra, which we should point out is nowhere in the movies or TV shows, but is entirely in the novels and comics supplementary material?  Are we talking about a more generalized idea of Jedi philosophy?  And what, precisely, does that mean?  I mean, what’s oppressive about it and what scene evidences that that’s what the Jedi taught? Second, there are two talks that George Lucas gave that I think really illustrate this view of emotional navigation and how that impacts Star Wars and the Force: There’s the writers meeting of The Clone Wars where he talks about the light side and the dark side and there’s an Academy of Achievement Speech from 2013 where he talks about joy vs pleasure:     “Happiness is pleasure and happiness is joy. It can be either one, you add them up and it can be the uber category of happiness.     “Pleasure is short lived. It lasts an hour, it lasts a minute, it lasts a month. It peaks and then it goes down–it peaks very high, but the next time you want to get that same peak you have to do it twice as much. It’s like drugs, you have to keep doing it because it insulates itself. No matter what it is, whether you’re shopping or you’re engaged in any other kind of pleasure. It all has the same quality about it.     “On the other hand is joy and joy is the thing that doesn’t go as high as pleasure, in terms of your emotional reaction. But it stays with you. Joy is something you can recall, pleasure you can’t.  So the secret is that, even though it’s not as intense as pleasure, the joy will last you a lot longer.     “People who get the pleasure they keep saying, ‘Well, if I can just get richer and get more cars–!’ You’ll never relive the moment you got your first car, that’s it, that’s the highest peak. Yes, you could get three Ferraris and a new gulf stream jet and maybe you’ll get close. But you have to keep going and eventually you’ll run out.  You just can’t do it, it doesn’t work.     “If you’re trying to sustain that level of peak pleasure, you’re doomed. It’s a very American idea, but it just can’t happen. You just let it go. Peak.  Break. Pleasure is fun it’s great, but you can’t keep it going forever.     “Just accept the fact that it’s here and it’s gone, and maybe again it’ll come back and you’ll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It’s all about your pleasure, it’s about you. It’s a selfish self-centered emotion, that’s created by self-centered motive of greed.     “Joy is compassion, joy is giving yourself to somebody else or something else. And it’s the kind of thing that is in it’s subtlty and lowness more powerful than pleasure.  If you get hung up on pleasure you’re doomed. If you pursue joy you will find everlasting happiness.”  –George Lucas And how I like to compare that to The Hijacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig, MD, MSL, which is a book about how corporations have hijacked our pleasure centers to make us focused on reward over pleasure.  It talks about the exact same concepts, with only slight word adjustments, but otherwise might as well be verbatim: “At this point it’s essential to define and clarify what I mean by these two words—pleasure and happiness—which can mean different things to different people.     “Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines “pleasure” as “enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking”; or “gratification”; or “reward.” While “pleasure” has a multitude of synonyms, it is this phenomenon of reward that we will explore, as scientists have elaborated a specific “reward pathway” in the brain, and we now understand the neuroscience of its regulation. Conversely, “happiness” is defined as “the quality or state of being happy”; or “joy”; or “contentment.” While there are many synonyms for “happiness,” it is the phenomenon that Aristotle originally referred to as eudemonia, or the internal experience of contentment, that we will parse in this book. Contentment is the lowest baseline level of happiness, the state in which it’s not necessary to seek more. In the movie Lovers and Other Strangers (1970), middle-aged married couple Beatrice Arthur and Richard Castellano were asked the question “Are you happy?”—to which they responded, “Happy? Who’s happy? We’re content.” Scientists now understand that there is a specific “contentment pathway” that is completely separate from the pleasure or reward pathway in the brain and under completely different regulation. Pleasure (reward) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I want more, while happiness (contentment) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I don’t want or need any more.     “Reward and contentment are both positive emotions, highly valued by humans, and both reasons for initiative and personal betterment. It’s hard to be happy if you derive no pleasure for your efforts—but this is exactly what is seen in the various forms of addiction. Conversely, if you are perennially discontent, as is so often seen in patients with clinical depression, you may lose the impetus to better your social position in life, and it’s virtually impossible to derive reward for your efforts. Reward and contentment rely on the presence of the other. Nonetheless, they are decidedly different phenomena. Yet both have been slowly and mysteriously vanishing from our global ethos as the prevalence of addiction and depression continues to climb.     “Drumroll … without further ado, behold the seven differences between reward and contentment: Reward is short-lived (about an hour, like a good meal). Get it, experience it, and get over it. Why do you think you can’t remember what you ate for dinner yesterday? Conversely, contentment lasts much longer (weeks to months to years). It’s what happens when you have a working marriage or watch your teenager graduate from high school. And if you experience contentment from a sense of achievement or purpose, the chances are that you will feel it for a long time to come, perhaps even the rest of your life.Reward is visceral in terms of excitement (e.g., a casino, a football game, or a strip club). It activates the body’s fight-or-flight system, which causes blood pressure and heart rate to go up. Conversely, contentment is ethereal and calming (e.g., listening to soothing music or watching the waves of the ocean). It makes your heart rate slow and your blood pressure decline.       - “ Reward can be achieved with different substances (e.g., heroin, nicotine, cocaine, caffeine, alcohol, and of course sugar). Each stimulates the reward center of the brain. Some are legal, some are not. Conversely, contentment is not achievable with substance use. Rather, contentment is usually achieved with deeds (like graduating from college or having a child who can navigate his or her own path in life).       - “Reward occurs with the process of taking (like from a casino). Gambling is definitely a high: when you win, it is fundamentally rewarding, both viscerally and economically. But go back to the same table the next day. Maybe you’ll feel a jolt of excitement to try again. But there’s no glow, no lasting feeling from the night before. Or go buy a nice dress at Macy’s. Then try it on again a month later. Does it generate the same enthusiasm? Conversely, contentment is often generated through giving (like giving money to a charity, or giving your time to your child, or devoting time and energy to a worthwhile project).       - Reward is yours and yours alone. Your sense of reward does not immediately impact anyone else. Conversely, your contentment, or lack of it, often impacts other people directly and can impact society at large. Those who are extremely unhappy (the Columbine shooters) can take their unhappiness out on others. It should be said at this point that pleasure and happiness are by no means mutually exclusive. A dinner at the Bay Area Michelin three-star restaurant the French Laundry can likely generate simultaneous pleasure for you from the stellar food and wine but can also generate contentment from the shared experience with spouse, family, or friends, and then possibly a bit of unhappiness when the bill arrives.       - Reward when unchecked can lead us into misery, like addiction. Too much substance use (food, drugs, nicotine, alcohol) or compulsive behaviors (gambling, shopping, surfing the internet, sex) will overload the reward pathway and lead not just to dejection, destitution, and disease but not uncommonly death as well. Conversely, walking in the woods or playing with your grandchildren or pets (as long as you don’t have to clean up after them) could bring contentment and keep you from being miserable in the first place.       - Last and most important, reward is driven by dopamine, and contentment by serotonin. Each is a neurotransmitter—a biochemical manufactured in the brain that drives feelings and emotions—but the two couldn’t be more different. Although dopamine and serotonin drive separate brain processes, it is where they overlap and how they influence each other that generates the action in this story. Two separate chemicals, two separate brain pathways, two separate regulatory schemes, and two separate physiological and psychological outcomes. How and where these two chemicals work, and how they work either in concert or in opposition to each other, is the holy grail in the ultimate quest for both pleasure and happiness.”                                – Robert Lustig, MD, MSL And then lets add in what Dave Filoni has said about the Force and the core themes of Star Wars:     "In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless moreso than selfish.  It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do.  And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good.  It’s a constant.  And that’s what, really, Star Wars is about and what I think George wanted people to know.  That to be a good person and to really feel better about your life and experience life fully you have to let go of everything you fear to lose. Because then you can’t be controlled.        “But when you fear, fear is the path to the dark side, it’s also the shadow of greed, because greed makes you covet things, greed makes you surround yourself with all these things that make you feel comfortable in the moment, but they don’t really make you happy.  And then, when you’re afraid of something, it makes you angry, when you get angry, you start to hate something, sometimes you don’t even know why.  When you hate, do you often know why you hate?  No, you direct it at things and then you hate it.  And it’s hard because anger can be a strength at times, but you can’t use it in such a selfish way, it can be a destroyer then.        “These are the core things of Star Wars.“  –Dave Filoni So, the core things of Star Wars and the Jedi teachings (because Jedi teachings are basically almost word for word how GL described how the Force works) can very much be a reflection of real world teachings and ways to live by, because all of the above are about how GL viewed the world and what he wanted to put into his movies. Further, Jedi teachings are basically just reworded Buddhism + Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  And both of those are very livable by our real world standards, if you so choose.  GL was very much about how SW had themes that were meant to be picked up on by the audience and even DF has said this:  “ Jedi have the ability to turn the tide, to make a significant moment, to give hope where there’s none.  That’s their ultimate role to play, to be this example of selflessness.  And that’s what makes them a hero, when no one else can match that heroic thing.  And then our job is to emulate that, to use that example, and further our own lives.” --Dave Filoni Ultimately, the Jedi are specifically focused on disciplining themselves (which GL has said is the only way to overcome the dark side, in that TCW writers’ meeting), probably to a degree most of us wouldn’t have the room to devote to, but that doesn’t mean that the broader strokes aren’t meant to be applicable to our lives or don’t echo real world teachings.

[redgrve]

LOUIS REDGRAVE / TASK 09.

check out jas michaud’s task to read about most of his summer. 

the self para below is rambly and does not match the graphic ! i got tired about 1000 words in and gave up !

tbh louis’s theme isn’t very accessible so i would suggest doing /mobile if you actually care to read this shit.

the flight back from disneyland to dc is long and lonely, and louis mainly tries to sleep through the whole thing to calm his anxiety. it's hard without jas next to him, who's been holding his hand through every agonizing flight, reaching for him every time the plane rattles or shakes. and now he's trying to take up as little space as possible while he's seated next to a stranger – a middle-aged woman with her kid in between them, who is stickily eating fruit snacks and stubbornly refusing to blow his nose. louis luckily has the window seat, and he's pushed himself as close to the wall of the plane as possible, trying to make himself smaller, wishing this would end. which is saying something, because he's not exactly looking forward to the touch down either.

the last time he saw his dad, he was waking up in the hospital wing, shoulder throbbing like nothing has ever hurt him before, laura sutton's features coming into view. he'd been so disoriented that it had been nearly impossible to process the information she gave him, so despite being the first to know the whole story about the brotherhood, what the witness protection students would know, and more, he'd be asking more questions for days to come, trying to recollect what was going on. naturally, one fact stood out more than most: he'd been the target. and somehow, by some stroke of luck, he'd survived. and then, she'd told him his dad was here. " do you want to see him ? " and what else can you say but yes ? even if the whole ordeal is entirely overwhelming and what you really want is to go back to sleep.

there's a long awkward silence after the two of them say their hellos, before his dad interjects. " you did good, you know. there's a lot of people talking about you now, it's been...kinda cool to bring up that i'm your dad, " his father jokes with a wry smile. " i could probably get you a job at my agency, if you want to come work with me. " louis sits up a bit, wincing slightly as he does so. this is normal for them, his dad offers louis a path, and louis can't tell if his dad thinks he's doing him a favor or if he has this desire for his son to follow in his footsteps. in most every occasion, louis has said yes. but when his dad suggested threat elimination at gallagher, louis had said no. and now he feels like his dad is only proud of him because he's finally accomplished something that could imply a career on the field, fighting assassins and the sort of work his dad is really proud of. but louis doesn't even think that fighting cecil is the coolest thing he's done, not by a long shot.

" no. " honestly, louis surprises himself a little with the words. " i don't want to do what you do. "

his dad pauses, looking stunned for a minute. " well, we have...tech jobs too. i could talk to someone, i'm sure i could get you in. "

and the offer is tempting, because the job search has been daunting to louis for weeks now, his heart palpitating every time he's talking to a recruiter over email, blood pressure rising every time he's trying to set up an interview. but it doesn't feel right, just like going to blackthorne never felt right, and he doesn't want to spend his life feeling like he owes something to his dad, like he couldn't be there without him. especially after what he'd done the night before. " no, that's okay, " louis shakes his head, " thanks, but...i think i have to figure it out for myself. i mean, it shouldn't be too hard now, right ? " he cracks a smile, " granted, that didn't have much to do with my programming abilities, but i'm sure any of the alumni would write me a recommendation now. i'll figure it out. "

" okay, " his dad nods, " up to you. " and as usual, he's characteristically hard to read and louis can't tell if he's disappointed or impressed him, because it's always that little nod, the tuck of the chin, and naturally his dad has spent years training himself to be stoic and unreadable but it seems that sometimes he doesn't know how to turn it off because louis never knows where he stands.

they've sort of talked since then, brief phone conversations where he's mentioned graduation, asking if jas could come visit ( naturally surprising his dad with the fact he has a girlfriend, which louis doesn't blame him for – he's pretty surprised too ! ) louis secretly wonders what his dad thinks of him dating, since obviously relationships and romance haven't gone too well for him, but that's not the sort of thing they talk about. louis doesn't even know if his mom ever knew the truth or not. he's never asked.

the jolt of the plane touching the ground in d.c. shakes him awake, gasping with his heart pounding as he grips the seats, and the mom sitting one seat over flashes him a concerned glance. his lips spread into a sheepish grin as he nods, flushing red as he fumbles for his phone, which has slipped back into the cushions of the seat. naturally, he's got to text jas that he's landed, and he lets his father know too – even though he doesn't need to, that man knows everything about everyone at all times, and louis wouldn't be surprised if there's a tracker on him somewhere.

he helps the woman and her kid get their bags down from the overhead bin before following them out of the cabin into the d.c. airport. he's waiting there a while after he gets his bag from the carousel, he hasn't heard from his dad, so he paces. he calls jas, he plays tetris. he sends soren a picture of a really weird-looking lizard sitting on the ledge outside, just because he wants to know what he thinks. and an hour later, his dad pulls up. louis throws his bag in the backseat and climbs into the car.

" hey, sorry i'm late, " his dad apologizes, "got caught up in the office as i was leaving." louis nods and says he understands. " how was graduation ? " and louis gives him the lowdown, about casino night and the small ceremony the next day. he hadn't really asked his dad to come, because he didn't want to trouble him. his dad is sitting in the driver's seat, turning onto the highway, wondering why louis didn't ask him to come, figuring he didn't want him there. neither of them say anything about it.  

the following week is actually pretty nice. they both wake up early, louis's dad reads the paper and louis reads a book and they don't really talk, but it's nice. they both like their eggs over easy, but they both don't drink coffee. louis pours his down the sink every day, but he thinks it's nice of his dad to make it, so he doesn't say anything. in the afternoon hours, louis sends emails, he talks to recruiters, and his dad drives him to three different job interviews that he's scheduled throughout the week. louis plays a lot of battlefront, and he's almost to the next rank in csgo by the time that jas comes to visit the following week. he has news that he thinks will make her really excited – he's waited to tell her in person – but she's so excited to see him that he doesn't even have to bother, lifting her up in the air when she runs into his arms and he's pretty sure that there's no better feeling. he'd probably tell her that he loves her right then and there if so many people weren't staring and he knows that he'll probably get all choked up. so, he just reaches down and laces his fingers with hers and they walk out of the airport to meet his dad, and he can't stop beaming because he's so fucking proud to bring her home and to call her his.

so, that night he tells them both over dinner about a special projects bureau of the fbi calling him ( louis is not allowed to talk about the special project, of course ) although dcs did call him as well, because scott put a good word in – at least, that's what louis is assuming – but he's turning them down because he's more excited about what the fbi is offering him. jas jumps up to hug him, of course, and louis is pretty sure she's gonna cry again. however, louis can't help but notice the way his dad looks at him, really proud with the widest smile ( or perhaps the only smile ) louis has ever noticed on his father's lips. it's the first time in his life he's ever been able to read him, and even though neither of them say a word, louis knows he's proud.  

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[muirahara-woods]

I haven’t watched a single episode of season two, nor do I intend to at any point in the next couple of weeks (college is a cruel bastard), but here’s a list of theories based on the few glimpses I got from my dash and my own completely baseless assumptions:

- I know that’s there’s a police arc, that was pretty much covering my dash! So: the cops finally corner BH6 for their vigilantism (bc technically, it is super illegal). It’s framed as a complex moral dilemma but falls flat overall since Disney can’t actually say Fuck Cops. The cop who is bold enough to stand up against the superheroes is a bland-looking white guy. Everyone sides with the cops and BH6 are suddenly public enemy #1. An automated police force gets involved at some point, and people actually think it’s a good idea instead of horrifying.

-the gang runs a DND campaign. Fred is DM. Halfway through, they get interrupted by some villains but they just start playing with them.

- Fred vapes

-Tadashi gets a posthumous degree? Which, I mean, good for him, but I really hope that death also burned away his college debt

-so if Tadashi was getting his bachelor’s, does that mean we have a confirmed age for him? I figured Baymax was something along the lines of a senior design project, but if that’s true his death just got infinitely sadder. he was really THAT CLOSE to graduating

-on a related note, Hiro has to do a fundraiser or get a shitty job to pay for his own textbooks (which are just those goddamn online homework subscriptions that cost $150 each because capitalism loves to extort STEM majors).

- big hero 6 gets the in-universe equivalent of Snapchat or the like. we see some of the gang doing some stupid dangerous stuff (but completely hilarious) to put on social media.

-everyone headcanons that Hiro can skateboard, but may I present to you: Aunt Cass is better at it

-Aunt Cass dates Tony Hawk for an episode but he’s never mentioned or acknowledged, he’s just sitting around and tweeting during every time we see him

-Karmi gets an internship but the work is using equipment and programs that neither the researcher nor the interns know how to operate. While she’s stressing about that, she starts forgetting assignments and falling behind on homework and has a small breakdown, exposing more of her character (perhaps pressure from her family? Pressure from herself?) Its turns into a nice bonding moment between Hiro and Karmi

- can you tell why I haven’t been on social media lately from that last one

-oh wait doesnt Karmi get an internship at Liv Amara’s company? And she’s totally evil, I think, so Karmi unwittingly becomes the best and most dangerous villain in the city. Like she just starts out doing some basic research into antibiotics or healthcare tech but Liv realizes that what she’s making could be used as the perfect weapon. It becomes a sort of extortion situation once Karmi realizes that she’s being used, where she has to keep making weapons or Liv tells her heroes exactly what she’s done

-gogo learns how to juggle

-Baymax goes to Vegas. He gets kicked out of every casino- not for cheating or counting cards (he actually rakes in some cash) but every owner thinks he’s a street performer soliciting customers in the casino, instead of an actual robot

- Globby vapes with some of his own slime. It smells like grape juice. Everyone is horrified.

-Trina comes back and becomes Obake 2.0, which I hope isn’t a final-form sort of thing, bc as much as I liked Obake I would really like Trina to be her own villlain. The successor and daughter to one of the most powerful super villains in the city? And she’s a robot??? She’s basically unstoppable physically and mentally, trying to mimic Obake is a downgrade honestly

- #giveTrinagunhands2020

- Trina steals baymax to make or copy part of her new body

- (specifically the gun hands)

- ((my phone autocorrected that to fun hands. my phone knows what’s up, do the writers??? @disney contact me for an internship))

- a character comes in that matches one of my BH6 OCs to a T. I will become irrationally angry, both at my obvious lack of creativity in character design and my cowardice at not posting my OCs sooner.

- we get a closer look at the privatized nightmare of San Fransokyo, and glimpse into the dark and seedy world that the CEOs like Krei must operate to make their dirty billions. I don’t watch any of those dark, gritty shows about businessmen doing shady things to build their empires but it’s an episode of that.

-NBB dies and is reborn as a smaller, cuter weapon of mass destruction a la BabyNut

-Hiro wears Tadashi’s hat in a really dramatic scene. I will already be crying.

- The mother daughter crime-dancing duo make a comeback, but now they’re really into polka

- we get a badass EDM-themed character. It’s difficult to tell if they’re a hero or villain bc all their dialogue is bass-boosted

-honey vapes and it’s rainbow-colored bc she’s a brilliant chemist who makes her own smoke-juice

-I don’t know anything about vaping and these jokes aren’t funny anymore were never really funny to begin with

- the cop arc is resolved when the hero cop faces off w Trina and she OBLITERATES the man in battle. Robovillain beats robocops every time

...yeah, that’s all I got. Time for me to go back into hibernation.

If you’ve made it this far, please yell at me in the notes for all of this. Thank you and good night

[donaldresslerfanfic]

Stay at Home Dad.

Rating: M

Warnings: Strong Language, Sexual Content.

Word Count: 3272

Donald Ressler X OC Maggie Waters.

Chapter: Seventy-Three

Chapter Index

Story on Wattpad

Ressler.

One month had passed since Mags and I spent the weekend with her family. 30 days without a case, 30 days that I took advantage of helping the people who'd helped Mags with the staged robbery. I can still remember the day when it all happened.

I was driving with her and Alma back into DC after having spent the weekend in Maryland. It'd been a chain of events that made me drag her to the car to take her to see her dad in the cemetery. Maggie had started having nightmares and short sleeps at night, and the breaking point for me was when I woke up to her crying. She told me at first that she didn't remember her dream, but later told me it'd been about her dad. I guess she felt guilty for not having visited him for over a year now, and I offered to take her for the weekend.

It was Sunday afternoon when we were about to cross the limit to DC, we were stalled in traffic for some good 20 minutes, until I saw one of the police officers with the K9 unit.

I shamelessly took advantage of my agent position and showed him my badge, demanding to know what was happening. When he told me he was just sent to patrol the oncoming cars, I asked to speak with his supervisor.

"What could cause them to close the city like this?" Maggie asked next to me, truth was, it was a lot of things, at the time I didn't think it was the fake robbery operation, but when I saw the chief of police Albert Rogers, who I had talked to, I instantly relaxed because I knew it wasn't a real threat.

"Agent Ressler" he saluted, taking off his cop hat and leaning in the window of the car door "I thought you asked for a big operation, this isn't big enough?" He joked, I smiled at him and extended my hand, he shook it vigorously.

"This will suffice"

"That the wife?" He said pointing at Mags, she was looking at the both of us with the biggest frown of confusion I'd seen in her yet.

"Yep, worth it isn't she?"

He chuckled at her confused state and stood straight from the door.

"We're all about wrapped here, I heard just 10 minutes ago that we caught your robbers, Clement's unit intercepted them on the northeast side of the city. They're working on the paperwork as we speak"

I extended my hand to him again, shaking his gratefully.

"Call me when you need me"

"Will do" he said, put his hat back on and began to speak on he handy on his shoulder.

"Ummm" Maggie began when Rogers wasn't in sight "what?"

"He meant your robbers" I clarified.

"My robbers? I didn't rob anything?" Her eyebrows pulled upwards in one quick motion, pointing outside "is all of this because of what I asked you to do?" I nodded at her "what the fuck?!" She asked alarmed.

I laughed and looked at Alma on the rearview mirror, being blissfully unaware of curse words yet.

"This is the standard procedure" I excused. It really wasn't exaggerated like this, but it was a city wide operation.

"Oh my God" she said sinking back into the seat and covering her face with her hand. Then, she laughed "what the fuck Donald I..." She sat straight again to look at me "I thought you were just going to you know... Set up a road block, something more discreet, not get the whole DCPD involved"

"I just asked the favour, they're the ones who overreacted"

"I'm scared now, what if when I ask you for another baby you get me pregnant with two?"

That made me laugh out loud, I didn't know how she came out with half the stuff she came up with. She kneeled in  her seat and leaned her body to me, hugging me by the shoulders and kissing my lips a few times.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard when we get home" she said against my lips.

Few were the times were I actually ended up exhausted from having sex with Mags, but that day was definitely one of them.

And just like that, she was done with the hotel and the casino, she obtained a 15% chance of success rate, which was more that what everyone thought it could get. We went to the inauguration party, her firm was in the newspapers, it was a big thing. For a week after the project was done, she didn't got to the firm, she was mostly at the house with Alma, taking care of her or just sitting in the couch with her playing with toys between her legs. It was amazing the change I saw in Alma as soon as she passed the four month mark, she'd even leaned how to play peek-a-boo, and Maggie could be placing a blanket on her head and taking it off making her laugh for hours.

At the end of the one of the days, don't remember which one, she just showed up with a beer on her hand, giving it to me, then she sat next to me and placed Alma on her lap. The little amount of hair she had was pulled up with a clip that had a bow on it.

"Is this an intervention?" I asked taking the cap off of the beer.

"No" Maggie said looking down at Alma "I just wanted to talk to you about something"

"Something to do with this something?" I wiggled my hand under Alma's arms, making her smile, then squeal.

"Maybe" Maggie said following with her own smile "it's about, you know, life in general"

I leaned back on the couch and motioned at her.

"I'm listening love"

"After the whole casino thing, the firm got many new projects, including some conferences, and one of them being in MIT, me being their graduate. And then there's some projects that I have been personally asked to do, some of them are abroad"

I hummed. At first, it all seemed very obvious, she was getting more job offers and that was a good thing. But when she said that some of the projects were abroad, that got me quiet.

"Abroad like?" I followed.

"Well, there's one in Spain and one in Germany"

"And how long will they take?"

"I don't know, it depends, but a month tops. Don" she followed quickly, and the way she said my name meant that she was already regretting telling me about her thing.

"Hey" I interrupted, leaning to grab Alma in my arms "Maggie listen. We-" I pointed at Alma and I "we are high maintenance now, and you have to do anything to provide for us" she let out a little smile as she rolled her eyes at my joke "I'll never wear another suit brand other than MJ Bale"

"Oh really?" She chuckled, looking at me with the sweetest gaze, she probably didn't think this was how the conversation was going to end.

"We'll follow you anywhere"

Maggie's smile began to unfold, until it was just a little twist in the corner of her lip.

"What about you? Are you ever going back to work at the bureau, or is this it?"

"It will never be it... It just seems to be it for now" I said matter of factly, more confident than what I actually felt.

"But what if we start this and maybe end up living somewhere else for a month and you get called in?"

"They'll have to wait" I said shrugging.

I saw her doubt for a second, then smile again, kneeling in the couch and hugging me by the shoulders. She kissed my lips once, then my forehead.

"You're the love of my life" Alma began moving on my arms, then let out a loud sigh, she did that a lot, like she wanted to say something but didn't know what.

"You're tied with her, wouldn't want her to get more pissed" I motioned at Alma with my head, Maggie smile and leaned to kiss her on the forehead, then leaned on my shoulder.

"She's not going to let me come near you when she's older"

"Older? I say two more months" I laid my cheek on her forehead, looking at Alma.

"So you're okay with being demoted to stay at home dad?" She said after a while.

"How is that a demotion? Given that the other asset I have to protect is Reddington, I'll pick her anytime" Alma smiled as if she knew I was talking about her. Maggie moved from below me and patted my shoulder before standing up.

I wasn't able to sleep much that night, all kinds of thoughts were swirling in my head.

The next day, I was up at 7 and I was ready to head out. I gave Alma a quick look before I headed out, finding her awake in her crib, looking up at the non-stop spinning of the planetary mobile. Her eyes focused on me, she gave me a smile I would kill for, then picked her up, changed her and strapped her in the car to take her with me.

I was confident I would be back before Maggie woke up, so I didn't leave a note or anything.

Twenty minutes later I snuck my hand in the inner pocket of my jacket and presented my badge to the guard that was posted near the door, he read the name, then took a step to the side, letting me through.

Slowly, I opened the door, Reddington was sitting near Liz's bed, he looked up from his book, then left it on the bed, standing up to meet me.

At first I wondered why he was so eager to see me, we just endured with eachother. I quickly realized he wasn't looking at me at all, but he was looking at the little human that I was holding.

I obviously wanted him nowhere near the child, and I half understood his fascination. It wasn't just my daughter, it was Maggie's, and wether I liked it or not, Maggie and him had affection for eachother.

"You've got one third of a second before I change my mind" I held Alma and held her forward, Red held her in his arms, looking down at her.

In the few times I'd held Alma with my suit on, I learned the lesson of always taking the tie off beforehand, and Mags had learned a similar lesson, only with her earings.

"She wouldn't be a child of yours if she didn't try to kill me first chance she has" he said, I smiled and led my hand to hers, trying to free Reddington's tie from her vicious grip.  He loosened it a bit from his neck, but allowing her to grip it still.

He walked a few steps back and sat on the chair again, still holding Alma against her chest.

"This is the first time you visit in two months" he noted.

My eyes landed on Liz in the bed, didn't stay there for much longer.

"Didn't know you were keeping track" I let myself fall in the chair on the other side of the bed, looking at him looking down at Alma.

"Your absence has been noticed. What changed?" He said staring intently at me.

My eyes avoided his gaze, I looked to Liz in the bed again.

"Cooper is directing on some other teams, Samar and Aram are doing the same. Until know I didn't think of this as something so final, I thought she would eventually wake up and we'll get back to business. I've been sitting around in my house waiting for the call whilst everyone else seems to be moving on. Even Mags told me she had big plans coming up and I'm..." I stopped, tearing my eyes from the bed towards the other side of the room. "For two months I felt as if my job was everything I had. Then my wife walks in, starts telling me all the things she's planning with her job, and she'd worried about me, about what I'm going to do. That's when it all changed, because everyone was moving on except me"

Reddington remained quiet for a while, I could feel his eyes lingering on me.

"So you've come to move on"

I nodded after a while, looking at Liz.

"I've come to terms with the fact that this is were we all end up, being associated with you" I said pointing at her lifeless body on the bed.

"Elizabeth is here because her husband got entangled in some business that didn't concern him, I only intend to protect you from whoever comes to harm you, the taskforce is one of my assets, and I take good care of all of them"

"For your own protection"

"Not all the time"

"And this time?"

He remained quiet, giving me a little scowl.

I reached into my pocket when my phone started vibrating. I looked at Maggie in the screen, she'd texted me.

"Where are you?"

"We're with the least favorite uncle" I replied, then snapped a quick photo of Alma and Reddington, she was looking at him quite amused, and he was looking down at her, they almost looked as if they were talking telepathically, just stating at eachother.

"Awwww my baby" she wrote back, applying every single heart emoji there was to the text. "If you're not busy I have to go to the mall and buy a gift for Nathan's birthday"

"I'll be there in 20" I wrote back, then snuck my phone back into my pocket as I stood up.

Reddington stood up as well, fixing Alma's clothes, then handed her to me again.

"So you're not going to tell us anything, no new cases, nothing" I concluded

"I speak only-"

"With Elizabeth Keen" I finished.

"We finish eachother's sentences, isn't that sweet"

I gave him a look to let him know I didn't find that funny, then turned around to leave.

"Remind me to your wife" I heard him say before closing the door behind me. I peaked inside the room one more time, watching how Red sat at the chair again and picked up his book.

A half an hour later, I arrived home. I saw Maggie just as she was exiting the hallway to the kitchen, she looked at us, giving us a smile and finishing styling her hair, then placed her hand on her hips.

"Where did you go without me?" I looked at Alma, watching her eyes focused on Mags, her smile beginning to form. "What is she wearing?" She said approaching us.

I fixed her clothes and presented her.

"I dressed her, she looks good doesn't she?" I looked at Mags, she was hiding her smile, maybe a little laugh, but she just pressed her lips and shrugged one shoulder.

"If we were still in the eighties, maybe"

"I think she looks fine, and she isn't old enough to be embarrassed at her father yet" I handed Alma to her, given that the little one was starting to move in my arms now that she'd seen the most important parent out of the two.

Maggie and I hauled a few things to the table, I just had a coffee and helped Maggie with her toasts whilst she fed Alma.

"Any news on Raymond?" She asked after a while, I gave her a look.

"He's not going to interfere with your highness's plans" I said bowing my head to her.

"Awesome" she said with a smile, then quickly whipped it out of her face "I mean awesome because of me but-"

"It's fine baby" I said dismissing her soon to be apology. I finished with the last toast and handed it to her.

"No, I'm on a diet" she refused, I quickly gave it a bite because I'd already made it, I wasn't going to throw it. "You were supposed to give it to me anyway" she complained, taking her cup of tea and looking to see how much she'd left to drink.

"Why would I help you break your diet?" I said after I finished the bite.

"Because you love me" she excuse with a little shake of her head.

"Apparently I don't" I ate the rest of it with another bite, she squinted at me.

"Of course you don't love me, look at how you've dressed my daughter"

"She looks fine"

"She's wearing all denim, denim pants and denim jacket, it's a sin to mix those two this century"

"And how would you have dressed her Ms Prada?" I teased. I loved to playfully fight with Mags, it was funny to see her face trying to come up with a quick quip.

"With a flower dress underneath and the denim jacket, like a little rock girl"

"That sounds hideous" she widened her eyes in surprise.

"Your.... Shirt is hideous" she said flustered, stumbling into her words a bit

"You bought it for me" I said with a chuckle.

"Don't talk to me for the rest of the day" she looked away, lifting up her chin, I could see a little smile peaking out of her lips after a few seconds of me staring at her.

"Do you really want me to not talk to you or is this another trick?"

"Yes" she replied. I stood up, shaking my head at her cop-out answer.

"Fine, and you don't talk to me until you develop a sense of style" she choked up a laugh, but pressed her lips to keep it in. I grabbed the cups and plates and walked to the kitchen.

Maggie appeared after a few seconds, holding Alma to her side.

"Ask your dad if she's going to come with us to buy the gift or not" I gave Maggie a look, she looked back at me with an eyebrow lifted up and a smugg smile.

"Tell your mom I might"

"And tell your dad that I'm going to appoint him to a 'how to dress a little girl 101' course soon"

"Tell your mom that she's going to be working for us and that she won't have a say in how you dress" I took Alma in my arms, Maggie gave me a twist of her lips, then leaned on the kitchen island.

"Are you seriously not working anymore?".

"A thing or two might come up in the future, but for now, I'm all hers" I motioned at Alma with my head. Maggie gave me a look as if I'd told her something horrific, then placed her hand on her chest.

"You're not all mine?" She asked incredulously. I chuckled and walked a short step to her, rounding her shoulders with my arm.

"I'm like 45% yours"

"That's less than half" she complained, then hugged me by the waist.

"You're the one who wanted the child, it's your fault she stole my heart"

She let out a dry laugh, leaning back.

"I have a daughter who looks like you who gets to spend all day with you and she gets 5% more love than I. This is the worst deal, in the history of deals, maybe ever"

"Yeah, it might"

Maggie let my waist free, and she gave me that look she always gave me when I didn't understand something obvious. I'd like to thing she was laughing at my ingenuity when she chuckled and motioned at the doorway.

"Let's go and buy the thing"

[gffa]

I genuinely love the mythology of Star Wars and some of the core foundations of it, especially when George Lucas talks about the nature of the dark side and the light side of the Force, the duality and choice that is within all of us.  But one of my other favorite talks he gave is the duality of pleasure vs joy:      “Happiness is pleasure and happiness is joy. It can be either one, you add them up and it can be the uber category of happiness.      “Pleasure is short lived. It lasts an hour, it lasts a minute, it lasts a month. It peaks and then it goes down–it peaks very high, but the next time you want to get that same peak you have to do it twice as much. It’s like drugs, you have to keep doing it because it insulates itself. No matter what it is, whether you’re shopping or you’re engaged in any other kind of pleasure. It all has the same quality about it.      “On the other hand is joy and joy is the thing that doesn’t go as high as pleasure, in terms of your emotional reaction. But it stays with you. Joy is something you can recall, pleasure you can’t.  So the secret is that, even though it’s not as intense as pleasure, the joy will last you a lot longer.      “People who get the pleasure they keep saying, ‘Well, if I can just get richer and get more cars–!’ You’ll never relive the moment you got your first car, that’s it, that’s the highest peak. Yes, you could get three Ferraris and a new gulf stream jet and maybe you’ll get close. But you have to keep going and eventually you’ll run out.  You just can’t do it, it doesn’t work.      “If you’re trying to sustain that level of peak pleasure, you’re doomed. It’s a very American idea, but it just can’t happen. You just let it go. Peak.  Break. Pleasure is fun it’s great, but you can’t keep it going forever.      “Just accept the fact that it’s here and it’s gone, and maybe again it’ll come back and you’ll get to do it again. Joy lasts forever. Pleasure is purely self-centered. It’s all about your pleasure, it’s about you. It’s a selfish self-centered emotion, that’s created by self-centered motive of greed.      “Joy is compassion, joy is giving yourself to somebody else or something else. And it’s the kind of thing that is in it’s subtlty and lowness more powerful than pleasure.  If you get hung up on pleasure you’re doomed. If you pursue joy you will find everlasting happiness.”  --George Lucas You can see how this influences the foundations of the light side and the dark side, which at its core is about selflessness vs selfishness, about compassion vs greed, in that it’s about the pursuit of joy rather than pleasure.  It’s not that you can never experience pleasure, but you can’t get hung up on it, because pleasure is not sustainable long-term, only joy is. And that always strikes me whenever I pick up The Hijacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig, MD, MSL a book about how corporations have specifically targeted our joy centers to make us so focused on reward--at the expense of content--through various means, which includes this as one of the foundations you need to understand: “At this point it’s essential to define and clarify what I mean by these two words—pleasure and happiness—which can mean different things to different people. “Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines “pleasure” as “enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking”; or “gratification”; or “reward.” While “pleasure” has a multitude of synonyms, it is this phenomenon of reward that we will explore, as scientists have elaborated a specific “reward pathway” in the brain, and we now understand the neuroscience of its regulation. Conversely, “happiness” is defined as “the quality or state of being happy”; or “joy”; or “contentment.” While there are many synonyms for “happiness,” it is the phenomenon that Aristotle originally referred to as eudemonia, or the internal experience of contentment, that we will parse in this book. Contentment is the lowest baseline level of happiness, the state in which it’s not necessary to seek more. In the movie Lovers and Other Strangers (1970), middle-aged married couple Beatrice Arthur and Richard Castellano were asked the question “Are you happy?”—to which they responded, “Happy? Who’s happy? We’re content.” Scientists now understand that there is a specific “contentment pathway” that is completely separate from the pleasure or reward pathway in the brain and under completely different regulation. Pleasure (reward) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I want more, while happiness (contentment) is the emotional state where your brain says, This feels good—I don’t want or need any more. “Reward and contentment are both positive emotions, highly valued by humans, and both reasons for initiative and personal betterment. It’s hard to be happy if you derive no pleasure for your efforts—but this is exactly what is seen in the various forms of addiction. Conversely, if you are perennially discontent, as is so often seen in patients with clinical depression, you may lose the impetus to better your social position in life, and it’s virtually impossible to derive reward for your efforts. Reward and contentment rely on the presence of the other. Nonetheless, they are decidedly different phenomena. Yet both have been slowly and mysteriously vanishing from our global ethos as the prevalence of addiction and depression continues to climb. “Drumroll . . . without further ado, behold the seven differences between reward and contentment:

Reward is short-lived (about an hour, like a good meal). Get it, experience it, and get over it. Why do you think you can’t remember what you ate for dinner yesterday? Conversely, contentment lasts much longer (weeks to months to years). It’s what happens when you have a working marriage or watch your teenager graduate from high school. And if you experience contentment from a sense of achievement or purpose, the chances are that you will feel it for a long time to come, perhaps even the rest of your life.

Reward is visceral in terms of excitement (e.g., a casino, a football game, or a strip club). It activates the body’s fight-or-flight system, which causes blood pressure and heart rate to go up. Conversely, contentment is ethereal and calming (e.g., listening to soothing music or watching the waves of the ocean). It makes your heart rate slow and your blood pressure decline.

Reward can be achieved with different substances (e.g., heroin, nicotine, cocaine, caffeine, alcohol, and of course sugar). Each stimulates the reward center of the brain. Some are legal, some are not. Conversely, contentment is not achievable with substance use. Rather, contentment is usually achieved with deeds (like graduating from college or having a child who can navigate his or her own path in life).

Reward occurs with the process of taking (like from a casino). Gambling is definitely a high: when you win, it is fundamentally rewarding, both viscerally and economically. But go back to the same table the next day. Maybe you’ll feel a jolt of excitement to try again. But there’s no glow, no lasting feeling from the night before. Or go buy a nice dress at Macy’s. Then try it on again a month later. Does it generate the same enthusiasm? Conversely, contentment is often generated through giving (like giving money to a charity, or giving your time to your child, or devoting time and energy to a worthwhile project).

Reward is yours and yours alone. Your sense of reward does not immediately impact anyone else. Conversely, your contentment, or lack of it, often impacts other people directly and can impact society at large. Those who are extremely unhappy (the Columbine shooters) can take their unhappiness out on others. It should be said at this point that pleasure and happiness are by no means mutually exclusive. A dinner at the Bay Area Michelin three-star restaurant the French Laundry can likely generate simultaneous pleasure for you from the stellar food and wine but can also generate contentment from the shared experience with spouse, family, or friends, and then possibly a bit of unhappiness when the bill arrives.

Reward when unchecked can lead us into misery, like addiction. Too much substance use (food, drugs, nicotine, alcohol) or compulsive behaviors (gambling, shopping, surfing the internet, sex) will overload the reward pathway and lead not just to dejection, destitution, and disease but not uncommonly death as well. Conversely, walking in the woods or playing with your grandchildren or pets (as long as you don’t have to clean up after them) could bring contentment and keep you from being miserable in the first place.

Last and most important, reward is driven by dopamine, and contentment by serotonin. Each is a neurotransmitter—a biochemical manufactured in the brain that drives feelings and emotions—but the two couldn’t be more different. Although dopamine and serotonin drive separate brain processes, it is where they overlap and how they influence each other that generates the action in this story. Two separate chemicals, two separate brain pathways, two separate regulatory schemes, and two separate physiological and psychological outcomes. How and where these two chemicals work, and how they work either in concert or in opposition to each other, is the holy grail in the ultimate quest for both pleasure and happiness.”

                                -- Robert Lustig, MD, MSL This is further reflected in what Dave Filoni says about the dark side:      "In the end, it’s about fundamentally becoming selfless moreso than selfish.  It seems so simple, but it’s so hard to do.  And when you’re tempted by the dark side, you don’t overcome it once in life and then you’re good.  It’s a constant.  And that’s what, really, Star Wars is about and what I think George wanted people to know.  That to be a good person and to really feel better about your life and experience life fully you have to let go of everything you fear to lose. Because then you can’t be controlled.         “But when you fear, fear is the path to the dark side, it’s also the shadow of greed, because greed makes you covet things, greed makes you surround yourself with all these things that make you feel comfortable in the moment, but they don’t really make you happy.  And then, when you’re afraid of something, it makes you angry, when you get angry, you start to hate something, sometimes you don’t even know why.  When you hate, do you often know why you hate?  No, you direct it at things and then you hate it.  And it’s hard because anger can be a strength at times, but you can’t use it in such a selfish way, it can be a destroyer then.         “These are the core things of Star Wars.“  --Dave Filoni As well as one of my favorite essays from Star Wars Psychology: Dark Side of the Mind, Faith and the Force where that duality is once again touched on:      “People with an extrinsic religious orientation, that is, those who participate as a self-serving way to gain social rewards, like meeting people or obeying their parents (extrinsic motivation), express more prejudice. They hate more. Extrinsically motivated, the Sith use the power of the Force to benefit themselves and manipulate or hurt others.      To people with intrinsic religious orientation, on the other hand, spirituality itself is part of their self-concept and their religion’s teachings give them guidance in life. They value religion for its own sake (intrinsic motivation). Intrinsically religious individuals show less prejudice and less self-serving biases, at least when their religious teachings encourage tolerance and do not directly promote discrimination. Just as Jedi get in tune with the Force, those who are intrinsically spiritual come to appreciate the great variety of life and endeavor to serve others.” -- Dr. Clay Routledge Ph.D All of this paints a fascinating picture to look at the way people work and how the mythology of Star Wars works, how the dark side isn’t just the occasional moment of pleasure or moment of anger, but about the embracing of it, the refusal to turn back from those things that can destroy you.  If you try to sustain pleasure at a constant, it just won’t work, you’ll be sending yourself into this really awful cycle. That’s why the Jedi teach that the dark side is part of all of them (which is one of their foundations, because Qui-Gon says that they taught all that in the creche during Master and Apprentice) and it’s to be guarded against, that’s why they teach that you don’t suppress your emotions, you control them before they control you, that’s why it’s so easy to find moments of them being angry (Obi-Wan during the fight with Maul, when Anakin nearly shirks his duty at the end of AOTC, on Mustafar, when Maul kills Satine, when Yoda confronts Sidious he’s clearly angry as well, when Mace fights Sidious he’s going through a riot of feelings, his ENTIRE COMIC, Jedi of the Republic, is about him coming to terms with his anger and controlling it before it controls him, even Anakin’s constant anger issues never get a “you’re not allowed to feel that”, but a “you need to get a grip” when it starts becoming dangerous) because those things can lead to the dark side, but it’s never been that you’re supposed to be inhuman.  You just gotta watch it and find balance within yourself.  Even Yoda specifically says it himself, it’s a lifelong challenge not to bend fear into anger. These dualities within ourselves and how we discipline ourselves against those things that, should we embrace them, are at the core of Star Wars and this is why they can be so incredibly meaningful.

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.6 (Jack of All Trades)

- We first see Mr. Pettis administering a career aptitude test to his 7th grade students. I don’t think my teachers ever handed out those before back in my day. After class, Gordo mentions to his friends that Mr. Pettis has been giving his Bs in Science all semester because he hates Gordo.

- It’s strange because he is usually a straight-A student and the standard of his work is always two steps above the class average. Gordo can’t seem to figure out why that is but we will eventually find out later in the episode.

Career Mismatch & Matt’s New Identity

- At home, Lizzie informs her parents about the career aptitude test she had to take and her parents tell her that they too had taken one before. Jo Mcguire was supposed to be a rock diva with a renowned shoe collection and Sam Mcguire was supposed to be along the lines of a mechanical engineer.

This reminds me of Phineas and Ferb where Phineas, Ferb and Candace’s mom was a famous pop star in the eighties who went by the name of Lindana

- We then hear Matt telling his family that from now on, he wants his name to be ‘M-Dogg’ in reference to Snoop Dogg because he expresses he wants to be different from the rest of his classmates. Both Jo and Sam are not so thrilled about this but at the same time, they don’t want to discourage him.

I wonder how did Matt manage to get this made?

- The next morning, Matt heads to the front door to leave for school and he is dressed in a sort of ‘urban/street‘ getup and Jo demands he changes into something more appropriate. He even installed an ‘M-Dogg’ identity plate on the back of his bike.

Results of the Career Aptitude Test are In

- Mr. Pettis announces that the class is required to carry out an individual science project as part of their unit of the human brain.

- As Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda are waiting anxiously for their test results, they discuss about their future career goals; Lizzie wants to work in an interesting job that requires a lot of travel but at the same time, allowing her plenty of time to take care of her future twins. In reference to the new revival series coming out in 2020, we now know that Lizzie is working as an apprentice to a NYC decorator. I wonder if it fits all the criteria for her ideal job. Miranda just wants to be rich; Don’t we all...

This is not what they envisioned exactly...

- They finally receive their results and they were unsurprisingly off the mark. Miranda is matched to become a Navy Seal, Lizzie gets Cosmetologist her future career and Gordo gets Blackjack Dealer. I think out of all these careers, I’d rather be what Gordo got but I don’t think I could handle being in a room full of smokers (I presume that many casinos have mostly smoking areas?). Plus, I’d probably have to work late hours to make a decent amount of money.

- They take their results too seriously, especially Miranda because she cannot bear to get her hair wet. But Gordo as well gets a bit too hung up about the idea of becoming a Blackjack Dealer.

M-Dogg Goes Too Far

- Lizzie is almost finished with her science project on the Human Brain, which is basically a poster diagram of the central nervous system but she runs of out ink in her marker. She asks Matt for help but forgets to address him as ‘M-Dogg’ and he straight up ignores her. Even when she starts calling him ‘M-Dogg’, he still doesn’t want to help her find another marker.

- Lizzie was clever enough to threaten him to tell everyone that he sleeps on dorky action hero bed sheets. He got the message and immediately hands her over the marker, which was in his hand the whole time.

- Similar to Episode 2, ‘Picture Day’ when Matt pretended to be sick and Jo decided to play a trick on him by making his time at home miserable, his parents kinda do the same thing here by really going for it and addressing him as ‘M-Dogg’ no matter what. Sam even wants Matt to call him ‘Dee Dee’ at all times and Jo wants him to call her ‘Miu Miu’. Like Prada’s Miu Miu lol?

- They’re essentially doing the same thing that Matt has been doing to them and Matt doesn’t respond well to it and starts regretting his decision to request he be called a different name.

Gordo and Lizzie Switches Projects

- Later that night, Lizzie and Gordo are chatting over the phone and Gordo asks Lizzie if they could switch science projects because he realizes that no matter how brilliant his work is, he is always going to end up getting a B. He essentially wants to make sure his project gets the grade it deserves. Lizzie isn’t so sure about it and tells him that she would think about it overnight.

- The thought about them switching projects and passing it off as their own actually made me cringe a bit just because in college, that is considered plagiarism and that comes with a pretty hefty penalty.

I don’t think I could ever build something like this, even as a Biochemistry student at Imperial College London, where I graduated from.

- At school the next day, Gordo shows his friends his amazing, electronic 3D  model of the brain in which each section of the brain can be stimulated with the push of a button. He also warns that pressing 2 or more buttons at the same time would overheat the brain model and something bad might potentially happen. Despite all the complications present, Lizzie caves in and agrees to switch in her mediocre project for Gordo’s. Sorry, I had to call a spade a spade  and well, she eventually gets a C on her work.

- Mr. Pettis is very impressed with Lizzie’s project and deems it to be A+ grade material. He even asks her if she ever considered a career in Neurology, which somehow triggered Gordo and he confesses to him that he is the one behind that project. He even manages to sneak in a slight diss at Lizzie by saying that she and the rest of his classmates are busy at the water-park trading beanie babies. Gordo! That is so not cool hahaha.

- Enraged with emotions, Gordo begins to demonstrate what his 3D model can do by pushing the buttons of his brain model a bit too quickly one after the other and tells off Mr. Pettis at the same time for not giving him proper credit for all the work he has done over the year.

I really hope the inside of that brain model is just water

- Because of that, his brain model starts heating up and it suddenly explodes and all the gunk from the brain flies straight right into Gordo, Mr. Pettis and Lizzie’s face.

- Mr. Pettis dismisses the class and Gordo is forced to stay behind and before Lizzie could sneak out, she gets called out for plagiarism by Mr. Pettis. Lizzie, who clearly did not understand the concept of plagiarism before this is sure to comprehend it from now on.

Lizzie and Miranda are curious to find out what’s going to happen to Gordo. Lizzie evens asks Miranda to give her a boost so that she can eavesdrop on their conversation through the upper window of the door.

Gordo Learns a Life Lesson

- Gordo confesses to Mr. Pettis that is was his idea to get Lizzie to switch projects with him because he feels it was impossible for him to get a fair grade from his teacher. Mr. Pettis reveals to Gordo that the reason he has been giving him Bs all year is because ever since he got an A- in his first project, he feels like Gordo has been coasting along and not pushing himself to deliver his best work.

Gordo and Mr. Pettis shares a heartwarming moment together

- In turn, this actually caused Gordo to push himself and work 2-weeks straight on his brain model, which is A+ material. So, Mr. Pettis’s technique to get Gordo to bring his A game worked. I get his intention, I really do. But somehow, credit should be given where credit is due. 

- Like, I suspect that all of Gordo’s B-grade projects are all worth As if he were to be judged accordingly based on the class curve. But because Mr. Pettis holds him to such a high standard, Gordo is assessed very differently from his peers. But all in all, I really enjoyed this moment between the two. Mr. Pettis just wants Gordo to not rest on being safe and wants him to strive for excellence. And I think these are the best kinds of teachers to have.

- We also get word that even Mr. Pettis doesn’t take the career aptitude test seriously and that when he took the test back in school, he was matched to be a ‘rodeo clown’. These tests are meant to open up their horizons on the different careers out there. Well, I never take these tests seriously at all from the get-go.

Way to play it cool Miranda and Lizzie lol

As Lizzie and Miranda try to eavesdrop again, Gordo opens the door and accidentally scares them, which causes them to both fall. Gordo tells them that after talking to Mr. Pettis, he learns he doesn’t actually hate him and that he can probably get an A by the end of the semester.

M-Dogg is Finished, Finally!

- During dinner at the Mcguire household, Lizzie and her parents are doing all  they can to go along with their strategy of only addressing Matt as ‘M-Dogg’ and only responding to him if he calls them their ‘Dee Dee’ and ‘Miu Miu’ names at all times.

- Matt is weird out by this and he tells his parents that he wants to take back his own name if he is able to call his parents mom and dad again. Well, Sam and Jo’s strategy paid off well without having to reprimand him or force him to change back his name. I just hope Matt soon learns how to detect when his parents are playing mind games on him.

Overall Thoughts

- This was a solid episode. There was a really good lesson to take away from the story-line involving Gordo and Mr. Pettis, which is the importance of maximizing your potential and not being too comfortable in being average when you are better than that. Even for the younger kids, they would learn that switching your work with another person and passing it off as your own is considered plagiarism and that could result in marks deducted off your grade or even suspension in more serious cases.

- Again, I really don’t care about Matt’s ‘M-Dogg’ story-line. I said it once and I will say it again, it’s just episode filler. Fortunately, there are some story-lines involving Matt that are interesting and is full of depth later in the series but I would say that especially in Season 1, it’s more filler than depth in my opinion.

[thisnerdsadventures]

obligatory deep end-of-semester post

hi so if you’ve been following me for a while, you know i’m a sentimental kiddo, so here’s my feelings thrown onto a post written whilst listening to the les mis soundtrack, which may or may not increase the amount of overdramaticized sentimentality in this post

i feel like this semester was really about a) reconnecting with old friends and b) making new friends and putting time into both (a) and (b), but also working hard to make shit i want to happen happen, and growing and producing. I’m personally really proud of what I’ve accomplished this semester (and year), whether it was tangible stuff like grades/projects or memey stuff (like tbh making the casino night video actually happen was a nonzero amount of effort, and I’m really proud of my co-director and I for executing a great idea). 

I also think this semester was about saying thank you to a lot of people who got me to where I am, like my parents and all the graduating seniors in my clubs, and my friends (old and new!) for always supporting me through worse and better times. I got a few thank you’s this year for a couple different small or big things, and it makes a big difference I think when your efforts and existence get reaffirmed as making someone else’s life just a bit better. Added to that, it still always kind of surprises me when people become friends and stay friends, because I think one of the hardest things to do here is to make close, lasting friendships. I had this sad day a couple weeks ago where I kept on thinking about how people had zero time to invest in personal relationships past their close circles. But being able to meet all sorts of people from backgrounds like yours and not like yours is one of the best parts of going to this school, way above all the cool science that goes on around here. So even if they don’t really stick around, it’s aight, and that makes me extra grateful for the people who do stick around.

I was inspired by looking back at some of the blog posts from my favorite blogger on admissions right now, so here’s a couple of nice pics from this year.

two sunsets and two sunrises, each of them involving some of my favorite people in the world just staring out at the edge of the river or ocean and the sky and forgetting about the stress of psets and exams and projects for a couple minutes. The colors are always different, just like every day here is always a new different adventure - when I say I still feel like a freshman, I mean I still feel so incredibly lucky every time I walk down the Infinite, for being able to attend this school and live in this city and meet all these great people and embark on these fun adventures at all hours of the day, all over the place.

(a) cape cod (almost) sunset, february 2019

(b) boston harbor sunset, september 2018

(c) cape cod 6am sunrise, february 2019

(d) harvard bridge 5:30am sunrise, may 2019

next post will probably be about my first week at googz! stay tuned :D

[wrldtravler]

The Mystery of Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak (2/5)

Wow. Woooooow. The response for the first part of this leaves me stunned. I’m beyond thrilled that you guys like this concept. So, without further ado, here’s the next installment of the mystery ;)

If you missed the first part, here’s the link to the previous post:

Chapter 1

The Mystery of Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak

Summary: It started with a series of photographs at the Met Gala. From then on, everyone became obsessed with the potential love story surrounding award-winning actor Oliver Queen and the brilliant CEO Felicity Smoak. Follow along as the media, and the world, try to put together just exactly what is going on between the secretive pair. 

Chapter 2: Spotted in Starling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taking a break from the promotional tour for his critically acclaimed movie, set to debut later this fall, Oliver Queen is seen arriving in Starling City Friday morning. Sources say Mr. Queen has no scheduled press or filming obligations in the city, so one might wonder what his reasons for a visit are. He has been romantically linked to the famous CEO of Smoak Technologies, Felicity Smoak, in recent months and it is no secret that Smoak Technologies is headquartered in Starling City. Could it be that Oliver Queen is pausing to spend some time with his Ms. Smoak before jetting off once again for the remainder of his press docket?  

October 2018

A knock at her propped glass door lifted Felicity's gaze from her phone, though the smile she wore still lingered.

"Ms. Smoak," Her young assistant said, leaning through the doorway. "Kara Danvers, your three o'clock, is here."

Setting her phone down, Felicity rose from her seat and smoothed out her grey twill dress. "Thank you, Anna, send her in please."

Moments later, a stylish but nervous blonde tentatively stepped through her door. With a relaxed smile, Felicity met her halfway and with an extended hand. "Kara, pleasure to meet you. My PR head, Iris West, speaks very highly of you and your work for CatCo."

Kara simply starred at Felicity for a beat, mouth slightly parted and hand clutching the straps of her shoulder bag tightly. "Oh wow. You're like everything I hoped you would be." Kara finally breathed as she blindly reached out to shake Felicity's hanging hand. "Oh my gosh. That's so rude of me. I'm Kara, but wait, you already knew that. It's really such an honor to meet with you."

Felicity laughed. "This is so weird. I feel like I'm looking into a mirror. I'm usually the one babbling." She joked with a smile, hoping it put Kara a little more at ease. "How about we get this going?" Felicity offered, motioning them over to the pair of perpendicular couches.

It took them a moment to get settled as Kara arranged her recording device and flipped open her note pad. Pushing her thick rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose, Kara was all business as she lifted her gaze to Felicity and hit record on her phone. "Embarrassing introduction aside, I want to thank you so much for agreeing to the interview. I know how important every appearance is to you."

"Of course. When you're in the position I am, unfortunately the image I portray matters even more. I only want the truth out there, and CatCo is one of the best at translating the truth."

"That's an excellent place to start. Can you tell me how you've navigated your rise to the top in an industry that's so male dominant?"

"It hasn't been easy. And it still isn't, unfortunately. But, I'd like to think that the work my team an I have produced over the years speaks far louder than my gender or any other superficial quality it might be labeled with. I've faced criticism and doubt all along the way, but this is my dream and I fought for it."

The whole time, Kara nodded along, clearly enthralled. So, it took her a moment to speak up again once Felicity finished her answer. "Tell me more about that. Not many of us are familiar with your life before Smoak Technologies, but you were quite successful even then."

"I always joke that I peaked when I was young." She laughed. "On paper, my successes seems like a fairy tale: the daughter of single Vegas cock-tail waitress becoming three-time Nevada State Mathletics Champion, starting MIT at sixteen on full academic scholarship, and graduating at nineteen with two Master's degrees. But, it was very lonely. It was me and my mom against the world while I was simultaneously rebelling against my mom like any other teenager. I've always loved what I do, and that ultimately made the difference back then. Discovering new things, solving problems, that's what has always driven me to keep going."

"Well, you must have had time for fun, though? Any fun memories from your childhood?"

"That depends on the answer you're looking for, I guess." Felicity joked. "I was still a bit of a trouble-maker, just in my own way. Technically, I'm banned from the Bellagio and Ceasar's Palace for card-counting. Frequently, because I loved to tinker with things and find out how they worked, my mom would come home from late nights at the casino and find our appliances completely disassembled." She recalled, her gaze far away and a ghost of a smile playing over her lips at the memories of a very different time.

"That's really cute, actually." Kara observed with a soft laugh. "And, would you say it's all been worth it? Especially off the massive success of the implant with two more fully-functional patients."

Lifting her gaze to Kara, Felicity pondered the question for a moment. "Yes." She finally claimed with a soft smile. "It was hard. There was a lot of doubt. There were days I wanted to give up. Times when I was told I would never make anything of myself. A lot of denied proposals. But, it was worth it. And not because of the money or fame. I have the chance to make the world better, quality of life better, give little girls with big dreams the belief they need to go out there and take hold of their futures. That's priceless and it's those thoughts that keep me going when there are bad days."

Kara smiled wistfully, nodding in appreciation. "That's really amazing." She shared quietly. Peering down at her notepad, she hesitated before lifting her gaze back up to Felicity. "Have you ever thought about sharing this success with someone? Not to say that having a companion is necessary, but I-"

"Trust me, I know what you mean." Felicity interrupted with an understanding smile. "I may have a certified genius level IQ, but I am human too. It's not wrong to want your own personal cheerleader, someone that helps you through those tough days when your own determination isn't enough." She shared with a wistful smile.

Nodding, Kara leaned forward a little. "And, is there someone special in your life?"

Biting her lip, Felicity shook her head knowingly with a laugh. "Are you asking about someone in particular?"

Pushing her glasses up on her face, Kara shrugged with a nervous laugh. "Guilty. This is more my own personal curiosity. This one can be off-the-record..."

Felicity shook her head with a smile. "No, no need for that. On-the-record is fine."

Kara perked up a little, brushing her hair back. "So, he was spotted here last Friday. Is he your someone special?"

"I'm honestly flattered. Not only is he attractive, talented, and legitimately famous, but he's very kind and intensely loyal. At least, that's what I know from the few times we've met." She said with a laugh. "His appearance here, though, is merely a coincidence. The public seems to forget that he's is originally from Starling. My company was actually born from a sub-division of Queen Consolidated. So, if he's in the city, it's likely that he has family business. Or maybe he was just feeling nostalgic." She offered with a shrug.

Slumping a little, Kara's lips twisted into a small pout. "So, no one special at the moment?"

Glancing away, Felicity curled her lips together before looking back with a shake of her head. "Not really."

Huffing out a frustrated sigh, Kara nodded solemnly as she peered contemplatively at her notes again. "One final question, since the bio-stimulant chip has been proven successful in two more patients already, what are the next steps for Smoak Tech?"

Straightening in her seat, a brighter smile curled her lips. "Of course, the obvious answer is that we're going to continue to push the implant. It's still far from being where we want it in terms of marketability. But, we've actually been looking into expanding into the renewables sector too. We have ideas for both solar and wind energy, just on different fronts. These ideas are very new, but at the same time they're essentially adaptions of our current technology, so we're hoping to have an announcement of a full plan within the next year."

"Wow, that's a very different direction, but just as admirable as any other project Smoak Tech has already taken on. I fully believe you'll do great things." Kara complimented before leaning over to shut off the phone on the glass coffee table next to them. "Thank you so much, Felicity. This was incredible. You really are amazing." Kara said, holding out her hand.

Grasping it, Felicity gave her a big smile. "No, thank you. The interview wouldn't have been good if you didn't ask the right questions. You are really great at what you do." She complimented as they stood from the couches.

"Even though I asked about you and Oliver Queen?" Kara cringed.

Felicity shook her head with a soft laugh. "Don't worry, we're all human so I won't hold your curiosity against you. Just, don't always trust what those other hokey tabloids say." Felicity offered with a smile as they reached her door.

"Excellent advice." Kara confirmed with a soft laugh, pushing her glasses up on her nose. "I'll get working on this piece as soon as I return to National City. And, you already have your time booked for the photoshoot, so we should be able to get this out as scheduled for the November issue. We'll send you the article to preview before-hand, of course."

"I can't wait to see it. Thank you again, Kara."

Tags: @tdgal1 @miriam1779 @almondblossomme @hope-for-olicity @muslimsmoak @wherethereissmoak @memcjo @1106angel @stephswims @samwinter09 @trueromantic1 @blondeeoneexox @sadfangirl05 @artreider @olicityandklaroline @ olicityotp-always

[kingsholmrp]

                                          LUCIAN BOTEZATU

Age: 34 Birthdate: 12th December 1983 Gender and Pronouns: Male, he/him Hometown: Constanța, Romania Occupation: Owner of Royal Tattoo

                                                    He is a human.

                                            BIOGRAPHY:

Life had always been simple for Lucian; his earliest memory were all the happy moments shared with his mother in their cozy apartment. His home town was right on the sea, sunny bright days with a cooling breeze. His father was never in the picture and he didn’t care as he and his mom did perfectly fine on their own together. She raised him to love everyone and everything around him, not once taking anything for granted. There were some hardships, being a single mom was hard, but Lucian would always help with everything and anything he could. If she was to busy working late, he would take care of the house. If she is working some hard-labor-intensive job, he’d tag alone to assure she had all the help in the world. It was an odd balance, between school, helping his mom, and being a kid but he managed it well. Even now if someone asked him if he felt jaded or shafted by his childhood he’d shake his head and smile declaring he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Around his upper levels he managed to get a job working with his mother at the main casino, a stable income for them both. However, it wasn’t necessary as within three months’ time that his mother introduced him to a man named Varg. A rich business owner and stock holder in Oslo, all through Lucians only knew of him for three months. His mother and Varg had been seeing one another for years but waited till Lucian was old enough to not only understand but also so they all could move in with Vargs at his home in Oslo. At first Lucian was against the idea, but after seeing his mother so happy with another he couldn’t deny her that.

At first the change was jarring, the language barrier being very annoying as Lucian only spoke Romanian and English, but Varg was very supportive. Even going as far as getting a language tutor for him, and assuring he was getting all the help needed for school. Oddly enough the hardest thing was all the free time he now had on his hands. No longer was Lucian working late into the night or caring for his mother instead he could do whatever he truly wanted. At first, he tried sports, football (soccer) and rugby being his favorite, but it wasn’t enough something was missing. That changed when Varg took him to the art museum, it was the missing piece in his life he never knew existed. Instantly he dove into the passion, trying every medium possible to state his craving.

Once graduating from school, Lucian with his parents blessing, went to study art in Florence, Italy. Due to his favorite period of art being the Renaissance. There he studied hard on all things art, he couldn’t truly decide what medium he wanted to master as he loved them all equally. Until he met her, the Silver who changed everything for him. Elena was his muse, his lover, a leecher, his teacher but most of all the person who filled that missing void in his life. They found one another upon Michel Angelo’s plaza, over looking the city, each working on their own project. Lucian a scenery, and she a tattoo for a customer there they struck up a conversation and the rest was history.

While Lucian did stay in school, he became her tattoo apprentice learning the old art from her and fine tuning his own way of art with the needle. Within the midst of their relationship Elena told him about her abilities, even showing him how they worked, but most of all explained that’s why she only tattooed herself. Even to his own surprise he didn’t care about her being different. To him Elena was just another person, and a person he loved. He kept her secret close but was never phased by the knowledge of a whole other race out there. While his mind did wonder, he took it as an explanation of every muse and beauty within the art world and he was delighted to have such muse in his life. Sadly, they did not stand the test of time, they both wanted different things in life, and Lucian while he loved Florence didn’t want to spend the rest of his life in the city. A mutual break up between the pair happened, he swore to always keep her secret and never tell a soul.

Moving back to Norway, he got a job in another tattoo parlor but still worked on his own projects on the side. It was enough to make a living, but the void Elena left, and his lack of muse drove him into a depression of sorts. Lucian just had no spark, nothing gave him any drive, until he heard of a small town that was so quaint it seemed unreal and how they hosted a very popular whale watching exploration. Willing to try anything to feel some inspiration, he took a week-long vacation in Kingsholm, immersing himself within its natural allure. To his surprise it was enough of an adventure to help pulling from his slump.

Returning to Oslo he pitched the idea to his father, to invest in a small business, a tattoo parlor within the small town. In Lucians mind it would be a stable job for him in a growing place and would double as a place to hold some of his other artworks to sell. Varg agreed on the one condition that Lucian had to visit home more than he did when in Florence. Together they set up ‘Royal Ink’ a perfect little shop that catered to every person’s need either it being tattoos or piercings or something else to lure Lucian into the abyss of creativity. Slowly every person within the town became his muse, and everything he did reflected that. He’s been running the shop for five years now and has no plans of closing it any time soon, he may be looking into taking on an apprentice of his own, but for now his life is pictures.

                                        Lucian Botezatu is portrayed by Sebastian Stan.

[architectuul]

FOMA 16: Romanian Coastland

FOMA goes back to Romania. Miruna Dunu is exploring the seaside architecture on the Romanian Black Sea coast. She is passionate about collecting postcards that brought her to the investigation of the complex case study of the socialist leisure facilities between 1960s and 1980s. Her Forgotten Masterpieces are revealing the vast political mechanism, the social discrimination and the hyper real narrative of the seaside holiday architecture, the forgotten promised paradise. 

Venus resort beach. | Postcard author’s collection, photo by Hedy Löffler, 1980

Historically a privilege of the aristocracy, leisure only became accessible to the masses in the 20th Century. In the particular case of seaside leisure, it was a gradual process that combined ideological aspects on the one hand, such as health pursuits and the creation of the modern man, and more practical considerations on the other hand, like the new work patterns imposed by the Industrial Revolution. Furthermore, with a working class already on the rise before WW2, state policies for paid workers’ holidays drove leisure and its associated architecture one step further.

Making no exception to the established trends, the basis of the Romanian seaside leisure was laid with the emergence of the first treatment facilities in the late 19th Century. In the early 1900s, the first beach cabins appear together with a wooden pavilion of Victorian inspiration, in the old fisherman’s village of Mamaia.

Royal Palace of Mamaia by Mario Stoppa. | Image via adevarul.ro

The inter-war period marked a significant increase in the emergence of seaside facilities. Once reserved for the wealthy few or merely a contemplative retreat for romantic flâneurs, the coastal area became a popular destination for fashionable activities like water sports and sun-bathing. The architecture would reflect the novel lifestyle, turning into a breeding ground for spatial experiments and typologies that would hardly belong to the urban setting.

Despite the gradual and relative democratisation of the seaside developments, the aristocracy’s traditional access to the coastal retreat facilities remained prominent, especially in the 1920s. A notable architectural addition of the time is the Royal Palace of Mamaia, completed in 1926. Commissioned by the Romanian royal family, the Neo-Romanian style villa situated in the proximity of the beach is designed by Italian architect Mario Stoppa and consists of lower horizontal volumes with terraces and a watchtower as the main vertical element. The design cleverly combines vernacular elements and textures with the latest technological developments of the time, such as central heating and air conditioning. Unlike the cubist buildings that would become increasingly popular on the coast, the Royal Palace of Mamaia pays homage to the local traditions of the building crafts, exploring the specific architectural expressions of the area.

Mamaia Casino under construction in 1934. | Image Radu Cornescu  

With the concept of free time on the rise, it wasn’t long before radical spatial experiments appeared on the seaside, driven by both the trends of the latest architectural discourse and the necessities of the new leisure activities. Modernist villas displaying pure geometric structures, unconventionally-shaped bungalows and steamboat-like hotels radically transformed the urban fabric of the resorts, equally reflecting the architects’ and the public’s interest in the contemporary European tendencies. The rising number of tourists stimulated further investments in the seaside’s infrastructure and development. The mid-1930s saw the inauguration of an Art Deco style Casino right at the heart of Mamaia resort. Designed by architect Victor G. Ștephănescu, the building was hosting a restaurant, a dancehall, shops, a police office, telephone booths and the manager’s private suite. Additional beach cabins and a concrete pier with slides, two wharfs for small boats and a terrace-bar at its very end completed the ensemble. The Mamaia Casino complex readily became one of the main attractions on the Romanian coast, hosting thousands of local and foreign visitors each year.

A crowded day at the beach in the late 1930s. | Postcard via radiovacanta.ro

The abrupt transition to communism in the post-war period brought a fundamentally different approach to leisure policies, thus pushing the spatial production in a different direction. Implemented in two stages, the socialist seaside project drove beach tourism to an unprecedented scale. 

The vibrant atmosphere on the terrace of the restaurant club Neon in 1957. | Postcard author’s collection, unknown photographer, 1963

The first phase, spanning from 1955 to 1965, focused on leisure as a hygienic retreat, the spatial production consequently reflecting this through the low-rise hotels and spas. Following the international trends, the buildings integrate a functionalist modernist aesthetic achieved through the use of glass, concrete and steel. A notable level of architectural experimentation was involved in the design of clubs and restaurants such as Neon. Elevated on elegant concrete pillars, the attention to detail is visible through the bespoke design of the balustrades, floor-tiling and concrete shell roof.    

While the first phase intensified the construction of amenities in existing beach towns, the second phase of the seaside development consisted of erecting a series of resorts ex-nihilo. Fuelled by both the public success of the first stage and an extended political agenda aimed at attracting foreign tourists, the architecture and urban planning of the new resorts confidently incorporate the augmented scale. 

The “futuristic” silhouette of the Amfiteatru-Belvedere-Panoramic ensemble at night, Olimp (1971-1972). | Postcard author’s collection, Al. Florescu, 1974

The environmental impact of this massive intervention is not to be underplayed, with nature being shaped and enhanced in order to fit the ambitious vision of the architects. The cliffs were carved, a rich natural forest was in part cut down and artificial lakes completed a highly engineered landscape. However, architects strived to incorporate the natural features of the site into their designs. Although the resorts were in certain cases filled with standard boxy high- and low-rise hotels following the same blueprints, two developments stand out for their tailored response to the site conditions. The Amfiteatru-Belvedere-Panoramic ensemble integrates public spaces and other loisir amenities within the actual hotel buildings, merging vertical and horizontal circulation through a series of terraces and wide flights of stairs. 

Spectacular views from every angle of Amfiteatru-Belvedere-Panoramic. | Postcard from author’s collection, photo by Al. Florescu, 1974

The Aurora resort consists of a series of hotels with a distinctive silhouette that merges modernist pure geometric shapes with organic angulations and layouts that create semi-enclosed spaces filled with vegetation. The architects’ interest in the contemporary (western) discourse becomes apparent in these interventions and echoes Romania’s relative political openness of the early 1970’s. The construction pace slowed down with the last additions to the socialist coastal development made in the late 1970s. The austerity of the following decade entailed a significant cut down on the state funding for the seaside tourism. Today, a vast majority of the socialist buildings are still standing and largely operated, be them poorly maintained or carefully refurbished. However, the chaotic privatisation policies following the communist downfall resulted in a fragmented landscape that renders the modernist-inspiration layout almost illegible.  

The distinctive silhouette of the hotels in Aurora resort (1972). | Postcard via sanuuitam.blogspot.ro, photographer C. Vladu, 1975

Although benefitting from a superior architectural quality when compared to the mass housing developments across the country, the seaside project consistently acted as a microcosm reflecting though its spatiality the broader Romanian socio-political reality, from cultural experimentation and dictatorial control to turbulent transition to free-market economy. In this sense, it is a typical example of how an exceptional sample can paint a rather accurate picture of the whole, if looked at in all its complexity.   

A development of an unprecedented scale in Mamaia resort | Postcard from the author’s collection, photographer D. Bădescu, 1970

___

Notes

Popescu, C. (2014). An Effective Mechanic: the Romanian Seaside in the Socialist Period

#FOMA 16: Miruna Dunu

Miruna Dunu is a visual designer with an architectural background. She graduated with a Bachelor degree in Architecture (2013) with First Class Honours from the University of Manchester, United Kingdom, and a Master of Arts in Information Design (2017) from the Design Academy Eindhoven, Netherlands. She worked in architecture and in theatre, both fields greatly influencing her work. She expressed her passion for space and visuality through her first film Coastland.

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[rankentech]

Matt graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science in Architectural Technology in May 2018. Since that time, he held the position of Intern Architect/ASBIM for Hollerbach Designs and is currently employed as a Production Revit Technician for TBE Architects. TBE (Thalden Boyd Emery) Architects is an architectural firm based out of St. Louis, Missouri, specializing in design for the hospitality and gaming industries since 1971. TBE has completed more than 400 hotel and 300 casino design projects throughout North America. Johnathan Ruder, Director of Production and Associate Partner at TBE, explains “Matthew’s upbeat attitude and excitement for our industry was noticeable during his interview. He was work-ready, exhibited his experience and knowledge of policies. Matthew is self-initiating and has learned our culture quickly. He has worked with several of our project leads, as well as our President and Design Principal, Rich Emery, all of whom admire his work and enjoy working with him.” “Matthew Turk was always willing to help other students and his instructors as well. He worked as the department tutor, arriving very early every morning, and prepared to work,” says Kelley Raftery, Architecture Department Chair and instructor. “He displayed leadership skills and a willingness to teach others when needed. Matt was trustworthy and reliable.” Matt tells us, “Ranken opened many doors within my field. I've been through several positions and received many inquiries due to my degree from Ranken. My favorite memory from my time spent at Ranken is late night projects in the studio with several other students.” Link in bio #rankentech #leadershipskills #architecturelovers