#progress on the holiday animation is slow but steady!

[spittyfishy]

Same (ish) scene four years later lol

[butterfly-winx]

Lynphea is very well known for its produce and plentiful tropical and magical plants. However not many people can claim they have actually ever set foot on the planet. 

 - The large planet is uniquely almost entirely landmass and covered by thick forests, spotted by the few great lakes they have. And great they are, more the size of seas of smaller planets, certainly big enough to hold their own Ocean Gates. 

 - Though due to the limited size of the bodies of water, the merfolk residing on Lynphea is rather small, goblin sized and blue grey. They live in large pods and roam the waters without any permanent settlement.

- Contrary to what the lush canopy of trees suggests, forest doesn’t equal forest. The local classification system counts over 100 distinct arboreal biotopes. To outsiders the forests might not appear as different, but the differing seasonal behaviour of the plants and the biotope associated animals are fundamental to the life of Lynpheans.

- As is the case in many other civilisations the environmental circumstances hugely shape the lifestyle people are able to build. Lynphea is no different. Here three factors govern people’s lives: the physical distance from other people, the naturally available resources around them, and the remaining safe to use zones of the planet should no more resources be vailable.

- The people living here have built a life on dependency on wild fruit and cultivation techniques that are very foreign to people used to greenhouse and tended field agriculture. Strategic scattering of seeds and gentle pruning on the nearby vegetation allowed Lynpheans to grow “produce rich paths” close to their settlements. Responsible hunting techniques that are tailored to maintain the population of their prey made sure the species they eat are still able to fulfil their role in the ecosystem. Behaving in a responsible manner like this and avoiding either overpopulation or overuse of resources is critical when people are more dependent on nature than they are on other people producing. 

- When nature really cannot give more - which does happen as no two seasons are the same and sometimes one patch of forest can’t support as many people as it did the year before - settlements pack up and move on, or merge with another group. It’s the natural course of life and no one is too upset about it. The original settlement may be available again in a few season’s time anyway.

- Other than their survival being dependent on nature and hunting/gathering, Lynpheans soon realised that more than all that they also depended on each other. Their lives completely revolve around relations and building up a community. Education with that purpose starts as early as infancy. Child rearing is considered a communal task and all adults are encouraged to take part in it. Children are welcome to look for emotional support outside their birth parents and may even elect a non-related person as their Primary Carer. The adult must be of course consenting, but the process is a natural one and doesn’t happen onto anyone out of the blue- a child wouldn’t name an adult their Prim if they didn’t already spend a lot of time together and formed a bond. 

- Adults who are not comfortable with parenting won’t be any less friendly to probing children, but they have a way of drawing away and being court that lets the kids know they aren’t available. In some settlements adults are encouraged to wear specific colours to signal their reclusiveness, in others henna and other skin markings are used to signal the opposite. It varies from region to region.

- Raised in a sheltered environment of loving adults all around, the education of Lynphean children takes a harsh turn once they reach 11 years and they are released on Nature’s Teaching Path. By that age it is believed children are ready to learn independence as a person and develop their Unique Skills that they can contribute to society with. As important as that is, adults have also developped a way to hammer the ever-present Lynphen thesis home: no one survives without nature. So children are sent into the wilderness alone, as in without adult supervision, where they have to survive on what their teen predecessors have built and what else they can do to on the spot. What could become Lord of the Flies ends in a week of extreme behaviour from the 11-year-olds and forms the steady people who populate the planet. This stage lasts 3 years, adults will however check in on the children a few times a season and supply them with medicine they can’t reasonably produce themselves.

- After that the young adults take up a trade they spend the rest of their lives perfecting. Even though a lot of work is seasonal, and there are lot of seasons where all people in a settlement are needed to help out, people usually have a thing that is uniquely theirs. This might be a cultural practice, a creative hobby ar scientific exploration that they are encouraged to return to once the tasks of the day are done. 

- The community focused aspect both determines and limits the size of settlements. As the planet is comparable in size to that of Jupiter, but only has the population of Andros dispersed over the huge habitable zone. The majority lives in settlements of 200-500 people, but a town can get as small as 23-30 people, which equals one family unit.

- Numbers concerning the inhabitants of the planet, be it human, elf, mer or other are only estimates, as with a lack of centralised governance and the remote settlements official registries are impossible to make. But even if they did, Lynphea doesn’t share a lot with the outside world and doesn’t allow a lot of trespassing.

- With the absence of one governing body there never was a need for people to develop last names, which was mostly done to differentiate individuals in filing lists, mark families and track new births. As all of that is unnecessary on Lynphea, people have opted to give children several first names. In the North most commonly two names are used and the top ten most poplar names are related to bird species. The Eastern Forest and the Equatorial belt uses three names, one of which is chosen later in life by the child themselves after Nature’s Teaching Path is complete. Even further south four names are custom, and in the most eccentric region of the West with the largest settlement of 6000 people, up to six names are used.

- All three names are equal and when forced to off planet, Lynpheans will give it all as first name and attach a geographical tag. Flora’s full name on her Magics resident card reads ‘Flora Augmenta Lisahani of the Kapalong-Elet Valley’ where only the first three are actually her name. Kapalong and Elet are the two rivers that encircle the settlement she grew up with. 

- Spread so thinly and without a government one wouldn’t really think unity persisted on the planet beyond the individual settlements, so it is surprising to learn that the humans of Lynphea do think about the planet as one single country. They speak the same language with some dialects, they celebrate the same weather dependent holidays and practice the same birth and funeral techniques. The colours of their cloths or melodies of their songs that mark the regional differences aren’t all that important to them.

- Lynpheans subscribe to one federalist approach though, and that is the election of a Council, whose job is to collect information across the planet and share the most vital points concerning all residents. With the best interest of all people in mind at all times, they are also tasked with electing the Representatives they send off-world and with overseeing the Quarantine Workers.

- The planet that has been described as close to “paradise on earth” as possible has been battling with a horrible environmental/pandemic issue for decades. There is a rotten core in the Eastern Forests, caused by a malicious fungal growth that carries a very dangerous virus able to infect plants and humans alike. The disease it carries is highly infectious and is deadly in all known cases*, so research has been slow and little insight has been revealed about its cause, progression, and ways of halting the spread of the rot on the planet. The utmost imperative of Quarantine Workers is to isolate infected people or plants or even whole regions and to limit the spread to the best of their abilities. This in the rarest cases can mean abandoning communities.

- Entry to Lynphea is therefore tightly regulated with visa and requires a course of vaccinations as a pre-exposure premeditation. Visitors - and locals alike for that matter- are forbidden from even going near the edge of the infected zone. 

- Exit is even more strictly watched. Many adventurous Lynpheans have been very disappointed with the decision of the immigration office denying them opportunities and exploration off planet. It is hard not to feel trapped when all your life’s opportunities depend on the wind direction and dispersion pattern of deadly spores. Even worse is it for those who crash landed on the planet or came visiting and just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. They cannot ever leave for the fear of spreading the disease to other planets is to great. Lynphea has to become their new home, as it sooner or later would be their tomb.

- For this the Council and the Representatives are incredibly invested in international relations. The more people off planet they can enlist in their cause, the sooner they will be able to offer a cure and prevent 20% of their population still dying from it every year. They joined the Company of Light when it was still a war effort under the leadership of their planet’s own famous Farin Ebenezor Saladin - who has since then fallen out of the public’s favour. How well these  efforts continue to work entirely depends on the Representatives, six families of diplomats living off planet. As election time rolls around, the Council is split as ever, with all eyes on Krystal Gamma, daughter of one of the current Representatives, born off planet, but raised for this exact task. Will she run for office once she becomes of age when summer rolls around?

[heartslogos]

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [139]

(702):  I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear. - (602):  Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse -

“Your cousin’s ability to stumble upon and be stumbled upon any creature in the family of the Ursidae is truly mind boggling,” Vivienne says. She immediately flicks her indicator and starts altering course to exit the highway. “If you could enter our new location coordinates into the GPS that would be most helpful, dear.”

Max sighs. “This is one of those things where we’d never have found out if it weren’t for the absurdity of the lives we now lead. Can you imagine that in some other life Evelyn lives and dies without ever knowing that an entire collective category of animal is out for her life?”

“And I’m sure that this other Evelyn has been made keenly aware of some other interesting fact about herself that the Evelyn in this universe may never happen upon. Such is the nature of paths not taken.” Vivienne sighs. “Now, to the best of my knowledge — ecological studies are not my prerogative you’d have to ask a Lavellan about that — bears don’t just wander about flatlands and open plains. So how in the world did our dearest Inquisitor happen upon one such creature this time?”

“Life finds a way?” Max sighs. “There was a circus.”

“A circus that had a bear? How behind the times and tragically foreboding for the wellbeing of the circus.” Vivienne sneers. “I didn’t realize making animals such as bears perform was still something done. I do believe it was outlawed quite some time ago.”

“If the law actually stopped people from doing bad things I don’t think you and I would have ever met.”

Vivienne laughs. “No, I don’t see you attending one of my classes, Maxwell. You have a point. But I do think that with the way your path had been going we may have stumbled upon one another in some sort of social gathering. A luncheon or a charity dinner, perhaps?”

“You think I could have ever become a socialite capable of brushing circles with yours, Madame of Iron? How flattering! My life wasn’t as much of a train wreck as I thought it was shaping up to be then.”

“I never said that I would have liked the you I would have met.”

“But the prestige of having met you at least once in person, even if you didn’t like me, would be enough to boost my ego and my reputation for years. Say, do you think you really would have retired from teaching?”

“Retired? Certainly not. Whoever put such words in your mouth? I’ve got plenty of semesters and graduating classes in me left. But I do believe I would have reduced the classes I was handling and focused more on an advisory role to my masters students.” Vivienne hums in contemplation. “I’m honestly surprised that your cousin and I hadn’t met before. We may have taught in different colleges but we share the same undergraduate school and our fields aren’t so very far apart that we wouldn’t have used each other’s research.”

“Maybe what she should have majored in was biology, maybe she’d have figured out why she’s always number one on any bear’s hit list,” Max muses. Both of them pause as Vivienne’s GPS recalibrates, then begins listing the new set of directions. “Thank you for immediately turning around.”

“Yes, well. Not much good in us showing up to socialize and get Evelyn appointments to meet with some potential business partners if she’s recovering from a bear mauling is there? There will, as always, be other occasions.” - “I thought you were teaching him boundaries,” Bull says. “Also I didn’t know Cole knew how to text.”

“It’s a slow and steady progress. Look, for now be happy that he texted you that he did the thing and he’s sorry.”

“That was Cole?” Ellana asks. “That doesn’t read how Cole texts.”

“How does Cole text you?” Bull asks.

Ellana shows the two men her phone, narrowing her eyes at Bull’s screen.

“I don’t think that’s Cole. And that’s not Cole’s number. Wrong area code.”

“Who else would it be?”

“He has two phones,” Varric points out. “Most of us do.”

“No, no. I know his phone numbers. That’s not Cole.” Ellana tilts her head. “And Cole definitely doesn’t text like this.”

Varric and Bull look at Ellana’s text conversation with Cole. It’s littered with emoji’s, stickers, and huge blocks of texts, all without any punctuation or capital letters from either party.

“Maybe he texts you that way because that’s how you text and he’s mirroring you. Isn’t that one of the things he was being taught? To mirror people if he wasn’t sure how to react in a social situation?”

“So you do listen in on his sessions,” Varric says. “Ha. I knew it.”

“It’s basic stuff I could guess it without having to eavesdrop like a worried mother hen like you and Trevelyan do,” Bull retorts. “If it wasn’t Cole who was it? And why would someone who isn’t Cole break into our house to check my pulse?”

Ellana takes her phone back. “Hang on. Might be Mahanon. This number looks like one of his burners.”

“Why is Mahanon coming into our room in the middle of the night to check my pulse? Why not yours?”

“Maybe he had a bad dream,” Ellana shrugs. “Hey Varric, are you still going to Val Royeaux to talk with your publisher? Can I hitch a ride? I want to do some holiday shopping that isn’t online for once.”

“Sure. Tiny, have you considered that Mahanon cares about you and is weird about showing it? Because sometimes I wake up and Cole’s already left coffee on the nightstand and it’s still hot. Sometimes people show they care in weird ways.”

“Your brother dreams that I might be dead so he comes in to check my pulse?”

“He does it with our parents, too,” Ellana says. “He’s strange that way.”

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working For Love: A Terrormoo Story 4/17

Okay so I totally planned to have this out earlier but my day’s been kinda crazy. But it’s technically still Saturday so enjoy! 

Previous Part

Start from the beginning

Brian loved Wednesdays. 

For most of his life, Wednesdays were the bane of his existence. What person in their right mind actually looked forward to the middle of the week? It was the furthest extension from the weekend, almost no holidays were celebrated yearly on Wednesday, and the back end of it was just as long as the head. But that was before he got to talk to Brock. Finally, he learned his name. Brian’s first interaction hadn’t been the best, and the second only made it worse, but the third? The third was all the reason he needed to stark talking to him more. 

Three Wednesdays in a row, Brian had clocked into his shift before Brock came to the gym. Other days they crossed paths, but Brian’s trainings or classes managed to get in the way of getting to talk to Brock for more than a casual greeting or goodbye. Evan, Scotty and Anthony (Tyler’s other full timers) would wiggle Brock’s card over their heads and make kissy faces at Brian when Brock wasn’t looking to taunt him. The urge to flip off the menacing trio while working on Mrs. Lavigne’s squat form was hard to ignore, so he settled for punching them after work over beers and buffalo wings. The full timers got the weekends off at the gym, meaning Brian didn’t get to see Brock unless their work-out times somehow managed to sync up. So they passed each other for parts of Brian’s shift or Brock’s routine, but Wednesday was the only day Brian got to have an actual conversation with him when scanning him in. It wasn’t always the longest talk, and if anyone approached the front desk, Brock would hurry out an excuse and leave. It could be ten minutes or two, depending on Brian’s luck. 

Still, Brian cherished the few minutes he got. 

Hearing his voice had been an unexpected bonus he didn’t know he needed. The soft but steady tone fit was pretty. His laugh was pretty. The pink that bloomed over his face when Brian laid out the honest truth of how he felt when seeing Brock work out was pretty. His modesty, his dad jokes, the nervous way he rubbed his ear when Brian would smile at him- just in general, Brock was pretty. Being up closer helped him pick out little quirks of the other man that he hadn’t been able to see from a distance, like how animated his eyebrows were when he spoke or how perfect his teeth lined up when he showed them in a rare full smile. Brian made sure to toss a thumbs-up Brock’s way whenever he passed by his treadmill to clean a machine or restock paper towels (Evan and Nogla both seemed to enjoy his sudden boost of ‘hard-work’ effort when Brock was in the building, the lazy bums), and it made him smile when he’d get a stunted but responsive wave back. It was slow progress to some, but for Brian, it was more than worth it.

And when Brock walked in with a new person, Brian was tickled pink in curiosity. 

“God, this place smells like sweat and regret.” The new voice that entered the lobby of the gym made Brian laugh, tossing the crossword to the side in order to take in the new man. The platinum blond flopped on the top of his head was not natural, but it screamed personality with the hot pink elastic bundling it up. He didn’t seem ashamed of his look when placing his hands on his hips, the electric blue water bottle swinging with his movements. “It’s way better than WOW.”

“You never went to WOW.” Brock’s voice lacked any hesitation or shyness when he rolled his eyes, a shoulder nudging into his friend. “You literally paid for a membership that went unused for seven months.” 

“Have you ever tried to cancel a gym membership? It’s not possible. They demand your firstborn.” 

“You’re gay.”

“I could adopt.” The banter was refreshing to watch, and Brian grinned from ear to ear at the impolite snort Brock gave in response. 

“You’d kill a cactus. You have killed a cactus. You can’t keep a tune alive.” The new side of his personality was surprising, as Brian had only ever encountered the meek but endearing Brock. Here he was laughing and poking fun at his friend’s dismayed shout of protest, though the teasing smile he wore was quick to slide off when he realized Brian was watching the entertaining scene. “Oh! Um...hi.”  

“Hey there,” Brian answered, trying to sound smooth when tilting his grin into a smirk. The movement had the desired effect, Brock’s face rushing to resemble an apple. 

“Hi.” Brock mumbled again, and Brian had to bite back his laughter.

“You already said that, but I’ll take a second hello if it’s from you.” It wasn’t the most subtle flirting, but he was never known for being quiet with his attraction. Feeling cheerful at making Brock’s smile perk up at the small compliment, he tilted his head towards Brock’s left, but kept his gaze on him. “You bring a friend to convert to the healthy side, Brocky?”

“Not just a friend.” The correction made Brian’s body twitch, eyes darting over to the cocky look now being worn by Brock’s… something. Brian didn’t like the weird bitterness that jumped over his taste buds, but he tried not to let his lips drop down to a frown. His hand was casual when it dropped under the front desk to clench. Of course. Why hadn’t he thought about this before? He couldn’t be the only one to realize how amazing Brock was. It was so obvious that Brock had a- “I’m his best friend.” 

“Marcel’s my best friend.” Brock answered without missing a beat, though he seemed to lack the awareness to pick up on the glint of mischief that fueled his friend’s wink. Brian blinked for a moment, though it took less time to realize what had happened; this guy was trying to see how Brian would react to Brock being taken. Which meant that even though he’d never been to the gym, the friend knew of Brian. He didn’t like being played, but he’d trade the moment of embarrassment if it meant Brock talked about him outside of their gym meetings. “This is Mini, or Craig.”

“They call you Mini cause of your dick size?” It didn’t mean he couldn’t get his own shot in, though. The blunt comment made an interesting noise come from Brock, but Mini rolled with it. 

“You wanna find out yourself?” The obnoxious wink was dramatic, and Brian felt a kindred spirit in Craig. He snickered at how mortified Brock look at their exchange. 

“Craig!”

“What? Obviously he’s not straight, look at his hair.” 

“Hey, thanks for noticing.” The hat that Tyler had mandated he wore hung on his belt loop. He was hoping to keep it off long enough for Brock to see him, and the technical loophole he found in ‘wearing it on his person’ would be funny to watch Tyler steam over. He glanced to Brock, catching how the eyes ducked away from him to send a stern look at Craig. 

“I didn’t bring you here to-”

“Oh, right! My recon.” Brian wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear that, but Mini didn’t look to care when he dropped his hands flat onto the counter, peering up at Brian over his glasses. “So, as nice as calling you ‘hot gym guy’ has been for the past couple weeks, it’s really too long and has no cool acronym to use in public. You are pretty good-looking, so the name’s not wrong, but I think we should just clear the air; what’s your actual name?”

“Craig!” The pitch that Brock hit was impressive and clarifying to Brian, who took the moment to think over his previous conversations with him. Sure enough, despite Brian pouring out different nicknames and variations of Brock’s name, there had never been a rebuttal. At times he had looked flustered or nervous, but Brian had simply contributed that to his twitchy nature. Had all of that anxiety been because he didn’t know Brian’s name? Turning his attention slowly, he took in how Brock’s glare was significantly weaker with the flush of his face. It was obvious now that Mini’s question had been something Brock talked to Craig about, but didn’t have enough guts to ask himself. Mini looked like the cat that ate the canary when he shrugged at Brock’s heated stare. 

“I really do suck at the whole spy thing.”

“I cannot believe that you really just- this wasn’t what we said you’d- why are you like this?” Flustered Brock normally made Brian happy, but sympathy was in the front of his mind at seeing how distraught his new friend was.  

“I don’t mind telling you,” he offered up, hoping he didn’t send Brock running again by addressing the elephant in the room. “Really, if you’d asked me earlier, I wouldn’t have minded.” 

“I’d spent all this time talking to you, and I didn’t know your name. I thought it’d be kind of weird to ask after our first conversation,” Brock defended, and Brian knew the feeling. 

“Okay, explanations later. Name now.” Mini didn’t seem to be in the same understanding mood, arms crossed over the counter while he nodded at Brian’s nametag. “Because I’ve been staring at this chicken scratch for two minutes and I don’t know what language you wrote it in, but it’s not English.” 

“Alright, drama queen,” Brian teased, though he didn’t pull any of his attention from Brock’s hopeful stare. “It’s-”

“Brian!” It wasn’t him who spoke his name, but Tyler, whose glare looked ready to kill when storming out from the storage closet. “If you don’t put that hat on your damn head, I will make you eat it.”

“Brian?” From the corner of his eye, he picked up how Mini scrunched his nose and waved a hand to the side. “Blah, how boring.”

“I think it’s nice,” Brock replied, and Brian realized how quickly he didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion. 

“I think he’s going to be jobless if he doesn’t put his hat on.” Tyler looked unamused by their conversation, but Craig’s curiosity seemed to rise when he glanced the taller man’s way.

“Wait, who are you?”

“Tyler, the owner of this gym. Got a problem with that?” Brian knew there was a reason Tyler rarely talked to new clients, leaving that job to himself or Anthony; his people skills were shit. But Mini didn’t seem to mind, his hum filled with mischievous intent. 

“Just wanted to know where I can sign up. If I get to look at you each time I work out, I’ll be practically living here. Might even do yoga. Heard it helps you be more flexible.” Mini emphasised his claim with an eyebrow wiggle that made Brian snort, Brock sigh (how often did this trainwreck of flirting happen?) and Tyler glare before he stormed away. 

“He could literally break you,” Brian clarified, though the threat only seemed to widen Craig’s grin. 

“I live for the challenge.” Then Mini was snatching one of the application forms, moving to the chair to settle in and begin the process. Brian was amused by the turn of events, and the slight smile that crossed Brock’s face when he shook his head was enough to give Brian a boost of confidence. 

“When your friend’s done with the form, give him this.” Making sure to grab two, Brian held out the schedules to Brock with a shrug. “It’s got our classes on there, as well as the information for our trainers. Names, phone numbers and emails you can reach us at. We do classes like yoga, pilates, fat burning, even some cardio kickboxing. You get in for free if you’re a gym member. You should check one of ‘em out.”

“I… I think I will.” Brock’s nod was more to himself than Brian when he looked down at the paper, taking a few seconds to look it over before he spoke again. “Thanks, Brian.” 

“Anytime, Brocky.” The warm exchange of glances they shared was nice, and it was one of the first times Brock didn’t shy away from their connection. The warmth in his stomach fluttered for a moment, but he didn’t try to push down the sensation. 

“When this thing asks if I need any accommodations-” Mini’s voice broke the moment like glass, both jerking their heads over to look at how his teeth chewed on the pencap through his words. “would it be considered sexual harassment if I put Tyler’s dick?” 

“I should go help him before he gets banned for life.” This time, when Brock made his exit, it wasn’t hurried or flustered. For once, Brian didn’t feel like Brock wanted to get away from him. And when Brian gave him a thumbs-up during his work out, the wave he got in return was bright and confident. 

Brian really loved Wednesdays.

And that’s it for this drabble part. Hope you’re enjoying the story because it’s been fun to write. As always, love, reblog, and let me know what you think! <3

[nekoabiwrites]

Of Princes and Potions 2 - Chapter 3

Even though I am on holiday in America, I wanted to post one of my chapters. Also, I’ve stolen @not-so-innocent-bi-sander​ ‘s laptop to do this so...… Thanks Jordan!!! You’re the best!!

AU: Royal/Fantasy Pairing: Logince Words: 1621 Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, injury. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Demitri takes Logan out to assist him and things don’t exactly go according to plan...

---

Demitri led Logan down through the town’s main street and towards the gates that exited out to the fields surrounding the capital. During the entire trip, Logan watched as all the people they passed gave lingering looks at the animal handler. Several mothers clutched their children and pulled them closer as they passed, several stall owners gave him a disgusted look and many of the male townspeople almost seemed to be ready to fight the man. It made Logan feel utterly sick, especially when those same people then made eye contact with him and gave him wide, unnatural smiles. It was so eerily similar to the fake smiles he’d seen at Roman’s ball. The mage knew that, as soon as they passed and their backs were facing the townspeople, those smiles would be gone, and the pure hatred would still remain.

They passed through the town’s gates and were finally alone. Logan couldn’t help but bring it up to Demitri. 

“The townspeople seem to dislike you a lot, Demitri. Are you aware of them all watching you and treating you like a criminal?” Logan asked.

Demitri laughed hollowly, “Yes, Logan. I am far too aware of it all, but I’ve grown used to it over the years. It’s always been like that, ever since I was brought in as a child. They seem to all have… a theory about me.”

The emphasis on the word ‘theory’ made Logan’s blood run cold. “Ah, I see. I suppose it has something to do with the past?”

Demitri nodded but said nothing more on the subject. Instead, he turned back to the reason they were even outside of the castle boundaries at all. “It’s just a short walk this way. Follow me.”

The pair walked in silence in the direction Demitri had pointed out and eventually came across a small group of a few men standing by a fence. Upon hearing the approaching footsteps, they all turned and greeted them. Demitri jumped into a conversation about how everything was progressing, and the men offered updates.

A strange animal had been seen in the field just beyond the one they were currently in and not a single person in town or nearby knew what it was or where it came from. A couple local farmers did attempt to approach but noticed that the animal was getting agitated and that scared them off from attempting contact with it. Due to the unknown nature of the animal, the only thing they could think of to do was send communication to the royal family and ask for their help.

It was well known that the royals had an animal handler on their grounds that looked after every animal that they owned. It was even rumoured that the prince’s pegasus was tamed by the mysterious man back when both of them were young, allowing the prince to grow up alongside the winged animal. There were several other stories floating through the rumour mill which involved the man taming and being able to communicate with animals that were rare or unnatural, all of which ultimately lead to the conclusion that the man must be descended from the Yitra.

The clan that had been mostly wiped out years prior were known for their ability to seemingly communicate with animals, it was one of their most defining features, so of course the general population would assume that Demitri’s skills came from such a heritage and his unknown backstory and scarred appearance did little to help him.

Logan knew all of this. He was fully aware of the townspeople’s disdain towards the man for his perceived lineage. And it still unnerved him that people thought of him so harshly with such little evidence. It had always made him worry what would happen if he were ever truly found out… or if Logan himself were exposed.

Logan had received some of the disdain for his interest and use of magic, yet another Yitra trait, though not one so specifically linked with the clan as the animal communication. Several people had confronted him early on when he began making trips into town, asking him probing questions or full on attempting to call him out on his heritage. When Logan eloquently responded to their claims with logical rebuttals, everything seemed to die down though people were still wary to this day. Well, until he made his debut alongside the crown prince.

“Come Logan. Let me show you the creature.” Demitri addressed the mage after finishing up his conversation. Logan nodded and the two trekked across the slightly overgrown field towards where the rumoured animal was. It wasn’t hard to spot once it came into view.

The creature was covered in dark red matted fur that looked almost as though it had been coated in blood for many years. It was seemingly similar in shape to that of a common bull, yet it was larger when looked at closer and its horns were far more dangerous. From where they currently stood, Logan could just about make out that small hook-like details on the horns which were clearly for ensnaring prey and ensuring they were unable to flee from the creature. It was fairly still, seemingly content in that moment to simply linger in the overgrown grass. It had yet to notice the pair crouched just a short distance away.

“Do you remember what I asked?” Demitri whispered cautiously, his eyes never leaving the animal in front of them.

Logan reached into the concealed pocket of his robe and extracted the wooden wand he’d been requested to bring, “Conjure ensnaring vines in order to rob the creature of its movements and then be ready to assist in case things go sour.” The mage repeated the instructions given to him the night before.

Demitri smiled wryly, “Perfect recollection. Ready?” Logan made a noise of affirmation and Demitri steadied himself with a heavy breath, “Now.”

In the blink of an eye, thick vines sprouted from the brush and flew into the air before falling atop the creature. They swung around its body multiple times before planting themselves back into the ground, holding it as still as possible. Demitri and Logan stood quickly and rushed over to the creature, which was thrashing about in an attempt to free itself from the sudden bindings it had found itself in. Logan gripped the wood in his hand tightly, readying himself in case he needed to cast something else as Demitri held his gloved hands out towards the startled creature. The animal tamer was doing his best to speak to the animal, trying to calm it with soft words.

“It’s alright. They won’t hurt you, we won’t hurt you.” He said, his voice even, “We simply want to relocate you to a better place. It’s okay.”

The creature continued to thrash its body around. It was not listening, and it was quickly becoming clear that it was not going to begin to listen to Demitri, no matter what happened. The animal handler turned to his companion, silently asking for a solution, but the mage could only shrug in response. As each second ticked on by, they became more and more desperate.

Then the snapping noises started.

It was all too fast for both men to process.

Logan had noticed first, being the one facing the creature. He saw, almost in slow motion, one of the vines he’d conjured break away. He could see the rest of them on the verge of doing the same. And so, in a moment of bravery and desperation, he dove towards Demitri and attempted to move the man out of the way of the beast that was about to come charging towards them both. But Demitri was startled, even once Logan had grabbed a hold of his body.

With Demitri having more strength than the mage, he was able to turn both of them towards the animal. He held his hands up in an instinctual act of defence as the creature managed to take a step towards them both.

It was a blur. Neither could truly process what was happening until afterwards.

Demitri realised he had been knocked onto his back and that Logan had fallen with him, causing him to be sprawled out atop his body. Carefully, he pushed the other man’s vaguely conscious body to the side and went to push himself up. He yelped in pain as he placed his hands on the ground, pulling them back sharply in order to look at them.

Logan, meanwhile, was groaning after being moved and attempted to do the same as Demitri. He was able to begin moving himself, but there was a sharp pain that hit him as he attempted to move, coming right from his back. Logan powered through it and ended up sat on his knees, looking around. “Well, at least it seems to have disappeared…” He said, still wincing. When he got no response, the mage turned to look at his companion.

A very small glint of light had his entire body turning to stone.

Scales.

All along the backs of Demitri’s hands.

Visible in the daylight.

He then remembered the pain in his back.

Fear dripped through both of them as they slowly made eye contact.

“Hey! Are you two alri-”

The voice was cut off.

Silence.

“What the hell…?!”

“I knew it.”

“Disgusting.”

“They have been keeping you alive this whole time?”

“I bet they’ve been controlling them all along.”

The men they’d met with earlier were staring at them with pure disgust. Then they turned quickly and ran back in the direction of town. Still, both Logan and Demitri were still as statues.

Logan swallowed hard before finally finding his voice, “Now what?”

 ---

Previous —— Next

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[koszmar-zycie]

All of the fun, random questions! Do it!

Oh lawdy! To quote Ace Ventura: “Aaaaaalrighty, then!” - Apologies for the janky post, since I can’t space them without the site making the numbers all screwy.

Do you have any “yeah I’m good at it but I hate it” kind of skills? - hmmmm. To be honest, leading. If you buy into horoscopes, I’m a Dragon. And maybe it’s natural, maybe it’s theatre experience. But when I apply myself as a leader, I do AMAZING. The issue is that I generally like to be a support. Sometimes I like leading, but usually I’m not into the idea of being this focus or figurehead guiding the way as the leader. Whether projects or even fun, I tend to fall into a like... intermediate leadership role at best. 

If you could make one type of food cease to exist, what would you banish? - To be honest, I can’t do that. Even foods I’m not fond of are foods, and I would be remised if I were to remove any.  

You’re allowed to know everything about one highly specific thing/topic. What would you choose? - Deep sea thermal based biology. The deep sea is my 100% very favorite place on Earth. If I die and there’s an afterlife, I want endless ocean of all kinds. If I’m reincarnated, I want to be a Dragonfish or something. At any rate, I would do anything to have such a wealth of knowledge. Especially about something as fascinating to me as the ins and out of how the deep sea creatures that survive and thrive around the *extreme* heat and pressure of the vents. 

What’s a fictional character who you want to be like? In what way do you want to be like them? - I would love to be like Nathan Ford from Leverage. I want to be able to live my life as freely and wildly as he (though maybe not as illegally lol), and also pursue what I feel is right for me. Live through and persevere through hardship as well as he, even if he struggled.

If you had to live in and not leave a city for the rest of your life, what city would you choose? - That would be a VERY hard call between Avalon on Catalina Island USA, or Sedona, Arizona. While Sedona overall has more of what I love, Avalon has the sea. And I’d probably die without my ocean. 

Do you tend to say what you’re thinking? What would people think of you if you did the opposite?  - Usually, yes. But in a careful way. It WILL happen periodically, because I’m also an emotional hunk of waste. But in general I do a decent enough job of being honest without being harsh about it. When I’m provoked or something really gets to me, then I can just vent without thinking.

Is there anything that you’ve done/experienced so much you hate it now? Easiest to come up with are like, food or music. - Hmmm. Not really. Halloween got SEVERELY killed for me, though. I still like it, but Haunt people are by and large the most obnoxious and hypocritical. Since I adore haunt, I HAVE to deal with them. Hatred for Christmas and other holidays while spouting about Halloween has drained my interest in Halloween. So yes an no, because that’s really OTHER people killing it for me. But I’m also sort of involved because of my love of the haunt business.

Were you afraid of anything “silly���/irrational as a child that you’ve since outgrown? - Deep water. As a kid I HATED the deep end of pools. Now I’m obsessed with deep water and the dark, unknown, crushing depths. Funny how things work out! I used to hate going near the slope in a pool if it was even a little dark (lighted pools were fine). Now, the only thing stopping me from just continuing to swim down if I go diving is my tank limits.

If you were to impart one moral lesson (think Aesop’s fables, Golden Rule, etc) on the world, what would it be? - Treat others as you wish to be treated. It’s SO easy to say, and yet nobody does it. 

If you were a DND character or a game character (or something like that) what would your highest stat be? What would you want your highest stat to be? What about the lowest, to both of those? - HA. I think about this way too much. I’d be a sea elf druid. STR 10 INT 12 CHA 16 DEX 12 END 18 WIS 18 - If I were to apply myself logically as an analog of myself, I’d have good durability and understanding and social capability (again, in specific regards), but my outward strength and dex would be kinda average. I like to think that I’m decently intelligent, as I LOVE books, learning, and figuring things out. But I’m also far from genius. Hence my focus on Wisdom. I’m also surprisingly dexterous, but in certain circumstances more than others, so that’s also pretty average. I don’t think I’ve really have any “bad” stats, but I’d definitely mix average with a couple high ones.

Is there anything you judge others for when you probably shouldn’t? - Probably. I have a huge mistake of expecting others to be courteous and offer a common decency/open perspective on things.

Who are “your kind” of people? - Goths and hippies, my friend. If you want to know my style? Goth Druid. lol 

If you had to come up with your last words right now… what would they be? - “Don’t regret not accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. Regret having not tried. I do not regret trying, even if I did not succeed.”

Do you have any “weirdly strong” opinions about things that don’t really matter? - This is VERY obscure (I have others, but it’s late and this came to mind first) But if you play Fate Grand Order.... SET YOUR GOD DAMNED SUPPORTS.

Your goal is to completely confuse the people around you in as short a time as possible– what do you say/do? - Honestly, just start quoting Lorne from Season 5 of Angel. Or act like a Malkavian. One of my VTM characters was a Malkavian who got in a fight with a parachute he had. Her name was Kitten.

What’s the most comfy place you’ve been in? - I don’t know, actually. Maybe the Luxe Hotel in LA during Anime Expo?

Did you have any “silly” beliefs as a kid? Where did they come from (parents, friends, out of nowhere, etc)? - Not that I know of. At least in terms of anything that’d have changed or something. I’m sure there’s Something, but I honestly can’t dig anything up in my memories.

If you were to add or remove one physical feature to yourself… what would it be? Can be from animals, can be from imagination… whatever. - Hahaha, I ALWAYS think about this one. Right now, I’d want maybe the electro-vision of sharks. 

What could you happily give a two hour lecture on? - Ocean conservation, and what’s correct and what isn’t.

What would a mirror opposite version of yourself be like? It doesn’t necessarily have to be an evil version– any feature can be reflected! - Someone who’s mostly optimistic. More bright colors than dark, short hair. Focused on socializing and extroverted. More than happy in one place forever, without an interest in travel. 

What’s an occasion you’ve done a double take? - Anime Expo a number of times. Seeing weird or unexpected, or legendary cosplays. 

If you could only see one color (and its varying shades– dark/light) for the rest of your life… what would you choose? - Blue. Guess that was probably obvious. But it’s a cool color and associated with calming. Between dark midnight and navy blues to vibrant aquamarines pressing towards green (without actually going into it), I feel like there’s a happy spectrum of all kinds that would be enough to get through without going too crazy.

Do your friends all share certain qualities? Major or minor! - Despite my.... unique personality, and preference towards quiet etc (INFJ), I have a lot of radically different kinds of friends. I honestly don’t think I could put any one thing down. Other than that I choose my friends carefully on who I think I can trust and is a good persona at heart. To a sufficient degree anyway. That’s also a huge part of my downsides, too. By being sensitive (and having certain conditions), when a friend does something that hurts me, it REALLY hurts.

How do you motivate yourself to do things? - Oh man, that’s funny. It is entirely circumstantial. As an artist/writer/creative (I use artist in the broad sense, but I figured I’d add that to help specify) I can VERY easily just have motivation on a moments notice. So it’s often pretty random. But if not, I jut need to think of why. I Looooooove gardening. Weeds need pulling? I think about what’ll happen if the roses or tomatos or lemon tree don’t get their water because of weeds sucking it up. Need to write? I’ll never leave my creation for *any*one if I don’t at least crack down on notes, and make slow and steady progress if nothing else. It’s usually just a small thing I think of to act as a spark, but it’s usually very effective.

What’s one of your favorite jokes? Tell it to us!  - Okay, so this isn’t a joke, but it’s seriously STILL making me laugh just thinking about it. I was going to reference an old comedian in a previous post (I didn’t end up doing it, but still). Anyway, I was really confused as to why I couldn’t find him in google. It turns out, instead of looking up “Groucho Marx”, I was googling “Marco Grouch”. LOL That’s probably not quite as funny to y’all, but for some reason it’s killing me. XD

Hooooooeeee! Well, that was long, but actually really fun! Thank you @scatteredstoryteller! That was like... an essay. lol But definitely fun. I love asks. XD

[bethestaryouareradio]

Be a Giver

MIRACLE MOMENT®

It’s not how much you have, it’s how much you give” Crown Royal slogan

MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN, Founder/Executive Director

Being the Executive Director of a non-profit was not my dream. I never intended to start a charity. 

My life was full, fun, and fanciful in the 1990s boasting a happy young family, a beautiful country home, glorious gardens, and a barnyard of rescued animals. As a successful actor, coach, and interior designer, my varied careers fulfilled my creative urges as well as increased my bank balance. Life was beautiful.

Since I was a little girl, volunteering was a part of life. Giving back was ingrained in us and it continued into my adulthood as I worked in my children’s classrooms, spearheaded events for worthy organizations, lead Girl Scouts, 4-H projects, sports activities, and lectured at church.  In my mind, it was other people who founded and created organizations and I had zero interest in becoming one of them.

Then my beloved Dad was diagnosed with a rare incurable cancer.  He was given three weeks to live and I became his champion to save his life, scouring the world for treatment in days before the internet. With excellent medical intervention and his positive attitude, our family enjoyed his earthly company for three additional years. When I asked him on his deathbed if there was anything more I could do for him, he smiled widely to exclaim, “I am dying a happy man. I married the woman I loved, we were blessed with five great children, and I worked in a profession that was my passion. I have lived my dreams.” 

Something clicked inside me at that moment. My epiphany screamed pay it forward. My Daddy was a not a college-educated man, nor was he president of anything. He read books and did on the job training to learn what he needed as a farmer and a volunteer firefighter.  Dad was my hero, a man of his word, a pillar of strength, a person who helped everyone. Daddy was a giver. Although he was dying young, he felt that he had lived a life of purpose because he had loved, been loved, and fed people through his daily work.

It took many starts, stops, detours, and U-turns, but by 1999 I did pay it forward by establishing a charity, becoming a non-profit Founder and Executive Director. Be the Star You Are!® was created from my heart to empower those who needed it most—women, families, and kids. 

It’s been a struggle to keep the vision alive. Thank goodness I didn’t have a crystal ball to see the many hurdles or I would never have started on this journey. Yet, now, working with teens and young adults, witnessing the slow yet steady progress to improve lives, I realize that this is the path I am meant to travel. Like my Daddy, I am a giver.

As I scroll through the hundreds of pages of volunteer sheets each filled with over a hundred names and positions, I am grateful for the experiences and the people who have grown with Be the Star You Are!® . We have planted pride, grown leaders, and reaped readers. 

There comes an hour in all of our lives when we get turned upside down, meet disaster, sadness, loss, or regret face to face.  This is the opportunity to step up, put a smile on our faces, and make a difference.  Life offers choices. We can become bitter or we can become better. Better is best. 

My Dad died many years ago in December. I miss my Dad and still hear his cheerful encouraging voice in my mind. His mentoring taught me how to live in the moment to recreate dreams, live with passion, welcome the possibilities, and see the potential in our world. His example showed me that I am enough and that each of us is unique with a special gift to share with our neighbors.

As 2019 ends and 2020 commences, I take this opportunity to thank you for being part of our collaborative community. Be the Star You Are!® volunteers are leading the way with empowerment, educational, communication, and literacy efforts that help others have a happily ever after. If you have the resources and believe in our mission, I encourage you to make a year-end tax-deductible donation, or better yet, sign up to donate regularly. You can donate via PAYPAL Giving Fund with no fees https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504 or send checks to BTSYA, PO Box 376, Moraga, California, 94556. 

As we complete our first four months in our 21st year of being an all-volunteer charity with no paid staff, with your help, BTSYA will be able continue to make a difference in the years ahead for those in need. We must be doing something right to be around this long! Thank you for believing in our work to increase literacy and positive media messages.

Remember to shine brightly and smile widely. Be the star you were born to be. You can live your dreams.

Wishing you a very happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year! 

Be a Giver! It will make you happy.

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

CHECKING ON CHARITY

Before you donate this holiday season or anytime, it is always a great idea to make sure the charities that are asking for your dollars are legitimate. You want to be generous but you don’t want to be scammed. Here are a few tips to help you navigate.

Locate your states charity regulator at www.nasconet.org

To ascertain that your donation is tax-deductible, a charity must qualify as a 501 c 3 organization. Look up eligibility at https://irs.gov/charities-non-profits/tax-exempt-organization-search,

Visit Great Non-Profits and read reviews. Be the Star You Are!® consistently receives 5 STAR reviews.  http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/be-the-star-you-are-inc/

Check the watchdog of non-profits at GUIDESTAR: Search for your non-profit. Non-profits are rated as bronze, silver, gold, and platinum. Be the Star You Are!® receives a platinum rating.: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882

Go directly to the charity website and read about the mission and outreach programs. This will help you identify any bogus charities that are approaching you with a similar name.

Don’t donate over the phone or through people you don’t know. Some solicitations made over the phone or on the internet could be scams. 

Be the Star You Are!® has been working faithfully to help those in need since 1999. Don’t be a scrooge and donate now either directly via www.BetheStarYouAre.org or Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GIVER

by Karen Kitchell

I believe gifts are meant to be tokens of appreciation or recognition of the role someone plays in our life. We can’t dictate what the receiver does with our gift, though we can enjoy knowing we have given our time and thought into choosing a meaningful gift. Instead of waiting to see or hear how very much someone likes what we have given, we can remind ourselves that we are a giver. And the world loves givers! It’s also important to remember that gifts can come from unexpected places and are not always things.

Karen Kitchel penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, and is a dedicated volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor. www.scatteringkindness.com

TUNE IN!

Our two Be the Star You Are!® radio broadcasts provide entertainment, information, and empowerment in every hour of power. Listen LIVE to StarStyle® every Wednesday from 4pm PT at http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2206/be-the-star-you-are or catch us on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/starstyle-be-the-star-you-are!/id669630180?mt=2

For a young adult look at life, listen to Express Yourself!™ Sunday’s at 3pm PT  at https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself or on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/express-yourself!/id481894121?mt=2

Read all about the Be the Star You Are!® Radio broadcasts, guests, reporters, hosts, and more at https://www.StarStyleRadio.com.

SHOPPING ALL YEAR ROUND?

Other easy ways that assist our mission and don’t cost you a penny!

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2. Discounted books at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

& buy from your favorite stores. 

4. Search and GoodShop: Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too! https://www.goodshop.com/nonprofit/be-the-star-you-are

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

6. BTSYA Logo Store: http://btsya.rylees.net

7. Buy or Sell on EBAY:http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/be-the-star-you-are-501-c-3/1504/?favorite=link

8. Designer Clothes to Buy or Sell: https://www.unionandfifth.com/charities/be-the-star-you-are-moraga-ca/shop

9. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” T-shirts and tanks $19.99 at StarStyle® Store: https://www.CynthiaBrian.com/online-store

10. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4

We appreciate a direct donation most of all via PAYPAL GIVING FUND at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Checks can be sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, California 94556

___________________

Direct Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®

Positive Results: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/positive-results

About Us: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/about_us

Programs: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/programs

How to Help: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/how-to-help

Blog: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/blog-1

Events: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/events

Contact us: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/contact

GREAT NON PROFITS REVIEWS: http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/be-the-star-you-are-inc/

GUIDESTAR: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882

We invite you to volunteer, get involved, or make a donation. Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

____________

Classified Ads:

If you’d like to advertise your service or product while supporting Be the Star You Are!®, we are now accepting approved ads that will benefit readers. Contact info@BetheStarYouAre.org for details. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

Give plenty in 2020!

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

All donations are 100% Tax Deductible according to law. Thank you!

https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

[coin-river-blog]

Development on $3.3 billion cryptocurrency EOS has slowed to an absolute crawl, and it’s not the only smart contract platform where GitHub commits have plunged in recent months.

Major Crypto Blockchains See Reduced Commits

According to data from Longhash, development on EOS, Ethereum, and Tron has drastically slowed over the past three months.

If we consider the holiday month of December, where it is well-known that development virtually everywhere slows down, there are still two full months (November and January) of good developer time to account for. Of more than 4,000 commits in the past 12 months, only 114 took place in the past three months on EOS.

Ethereum and Tron also saw declines, though not as extreme.

None of the three blockchains were among the most active in terms of development – at least according to CryptoMiso.

The top 10 blockchains include some lesser-known outfits like Aelf. | Source: CryptoMiso

Insolar is by far the most active development team, with some Ethereum-linked projects represented as well. Raiden and 0x, both scaling solutions for Ethereum, have a high degree of development by comparison to the vast sea of blockchain platforms. Interestingly, Aelf continues its rapid development. A progress report from earlier this month gives positive signs for the community.

If you expand the table to the past nine months, instead of the past 3, EOS ranks #9. This chart illustrates the decline in developer activity:

Development has sharply declined over the past nine months. | Source: CryptoMiso

EOS Developer Count Steady Despite Plunging Commits

More than 100 EOS contributors had over 2,700 commits approved in the past nine months. The past three months? 114 by more than 100 contributors. At the very least, the number of developers working on EOS hasn’t declined.

The news follows concerns that EOS blocks are oversized. Apparently, the chain is so large now that many node operators no longer want to run “full history nodes,” which can be crucial for some aspects of EOS development. EOS is a different animal altogether when it comes to blockchains, having an “arbitration court” that can reverse fraudulent transactions.

When looking at the outside of GitHub development, the number of commits on a punch card might seem the most important figure. In fact, a single commit can change one line or every file in the codebase.

It’s possible that the EOS development team has changed its policy about pushing commits, choosing to “squash” changes together and release updates on a more consistent schedule. The sustained number of developers would indicate that development is actually ongoing, but perhaps the methodology of publishing changes has been altered.

It’s also possible that the decline in developer activity is attributable to the crypto winter. Last year, before the start of the crypto winter, several early company members left Block.one, the primary developer of EOS.

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[comfsy]

A Winter CSF Leak Update

I’ve received many very similar emails and DMs during the last few days.

“Jodi…?” the messages start out. “I don’t want to bother you but it has been a long time since you posted, and I’m really starting to worry.”

“Jodi: blink twice if you’re ok?”

“Jodi, here is a llama walking into an optometrist’s office in France. I thought of you! Also, ARE YOU OK?”

In a world of easy access to people’s inboxes, readers have only been a pleasure, a virtual cloud of warmth and never a burden. And when so many of you ping at once, I know I am due for an update. In this slow bedrest state, life feels like a woozy Groundhog Day. I love the filaments that connect me to so many of you, reminding me not to lose track of time entirely. I am so humbled by your care.

***

When I was a kid, my mother said my first word was a word. Instead of continuing along those lines, apparently the next thing I started said was a sentence, “see car go by.”

“And then,” my family jokes, “she never stopped talking!”

Being at a loss for words is not a problem I normally have. But yes, I have been very lax at updating because it’s been hard to find words for what I’m feeling.

A Leaky Anniversary

January 26 was the one year anniversary of the patch that sealed me last year. I had a really rough and heart-wrenching time reckoning with where I am on this anniversary. Instead of scaffolding off the slow and arduous recovery that followed the anaphylaxis and procedure, I am in bed.

Again.

For many months.

If you’re just tuning in, the CSF leak that sealed up and was healing reopened because I sat on the ground. Gingerly. Not even enthusiastically. I went from 4-5km walks a day, to no walking in record time.

At first, I was in extreme denial that something so small, so inhibited could blow out the scar tissue that had months to form. But one by one, each symptom I had in 2017 came back. I keep detailed daily logs of every symptom, supplement or mediation, and food. I couldn’t deny what I was experiencing.

Then, the grief. The anger. The deep sadness, the kind that suffocates all hope.

We learn about the “stages of grief” in popular culture, but what happens when they just cycle over and over? When you think you’ve come out the other side and can breathe again, when you tilt your face up at a brighter-than-you-remembered sun, only to find that you’re back in the dark?

***

My body, when I releaked, was in far better shape than the initial leak in 2017. Labs last summer showed improvements and lower inflammatory markers. I tried to stay positive. My friends and family came to visit. My inbox overflowed with llama photos.

As fall turned to winter, I saw some wonderful improvements. I stopped having the “brain sag” of my brain smushing into my spine due to low pressure. I moved into “high pressure” again, which is usually a symptom of the leak starting to seal over — the extra CSF produced while leaking backs up against the hole now tentatively closed. I started on the meds to lower intracranial pressure to prevent the fragile seal from bursting due to pressure. I felt cautiously optimistic.

And then a few weeks later in mid-December, I had an awful nightmare in my sleep. I remember it perfectly. And I also remember what woke me up: the excruciating pain in my back.

After an epidural blood patch to seal a CSF leak, the discharge instructions note that there’s to be no bending, lifting, or twisting for many weeks, but also that coughing or sneezing can blow out the patch due to intrathecal pressure. Many fellow leakers have blown out their patches — a clot or glue covering the leak temporarily while your own body can heal with scar tissue underneath — from constipation (pushing), sneezing, coughing, laughing.

Suspend your humanness while you can, the unsaid instructions whisper. Don’t do anything that can compromise this seal.

In my case, this nightmare I had blew out the seal and I was back to square one.

The Roller-Coaster of Ups and Downs

It is difficult for me to express the crazy-making nature of this condition.

In many cases, there is no imaging available that is sensitive enough to show a leak. Misdiagnoses are common. Imaging such as MRIs or more invasive testing like a CT-myelography turn up normal in an alarming percentage of cases. And normal imaging, the leak experts have learned, does not exclude a leak.

So the best way to know if you are leaking is via your symptoms or your story. In my case: I had none of these symptoms prior to a lumbar puncture, and have not been functional since. But the difficulty of external corroboration and testing only exacerbates anxiety about what may or may not be happening in your body. It is a very tough, very exhausting dance to undertake. I have struggled the most with this balance of attempting to stay in touch with my body while also uncurling my clenched hands from the eventual outcome. Science tells us that focusing ad nauseum on our pain can magnify it in our minds, hence the usefulness of mindfulness and other meditation.

When your condition requires a focus on pain, and you also know you need to stay equanimous to heal effectively? That is a total mindfuck.

***

In mid-December, a close family member took a turn for the very worse. The funeral was around Christmas. I was too unwell to attend. Combined with the Re-Re-leak, I spiralled pretty solidly into a very bleak place.

If I’ve learned anything in this madness, it’s that staying in the black hole of despair is not how you heal. With the crutches of visits and calls from close friends, someone to talk with who specializes in grief, and the tools I’ve drawn on at the worst of times, I was able to wrench myself to a better place.

But still, I am not sealed and healed.

***

I put off Duke when I re-leaked because of what happened during the last round of patching. There is a lesson about anxiety in that procedure too: in my most creative of nightmares, I never imagined anaphylaxis as part of what could go wrong.

But it did, and while they will not use fibrin glue again (suspecting that was the cause for anaphylaxis), I’ve written about how my body seems to be stuck in that very reactive, anaphylax-y place. My mast cells degranulated all over the place and LOVED it. They seem to enjoy doing so again and again since, not only to foods but also smells – and even hot showers.

Given how pear-shaped things went last time, I wanted to give my body a long chance to seal before committing to another procedure. When I did seemingly seal up in November, I was so thrilled. It didn’t (and doesn’t) matter to me if it takes a long time, though my parents have the patience of saints. If slow and steady was the way, I was ok with that as long as I sealed up.

I will be honest: my turbulent December and January have tested the limits of my capacity for grace and patience and hope. I have been on bedrest for quite a few months. While I’m not bored, the pain levels are pretty unconscionable and keeping my spirit up has been a mighty challenge.

From my own calculus: if I do need to go back to Duke, I want to know I gave my body a full shot.

That way, if – IF – things go awry again during a procedure, I won’t be able to look back and say, “should have given it a bit more time.”

***

So where are we now? It’s February, and long term readers know this means my favourite holiday in the world: Vietnamese lunar new year or Tet. An amazing reader named Wendy just sent me a pic of lamp in my name from her family’s temple in Malaysia, a New Year wish of health and prosperity. Lunar new year was always a time for reflection and cleaning and cleansing during my time in Asia. I’ve kept that spirit during my return to Mexico and Canada with small celebrations to welcome the next calendar.

New Year starts in a few days, and with it I hope a better climate for healing.

I have seen such progress since the re-leak, progress I didn’t see when first in bed in 2017. I keep flipping into high pressure as it starts to seal, then unsealing. It may be that I need intervention after all, but I still have hope that the JodiDura-that-could comes through this winter. I’m eating a strict and healthy diet, meditating, visualizing, consistently working to bring my mind into a better space.

If I can’t seal during the winter, it certainly won’t be because I didn’t try.

Learning to be the Tortoise

There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch. Hare ran down the road for a while and then and paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, “How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?” Hare stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking, “There is plenty of time to relax.” Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until he came to the finish line. The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for Tortoise, they woke up Hare. Hare stretched and yawned and began to run again, but it was too late. Tortoise was over the line. After that, Hare always reminded himself, “Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!”

The moral lesson of the Aesop’s “Tortoise and the Hare” fable is that sometimes you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily than by rash action. The race (of life) isn’t necessarily won by the fastest or strongest animal, but by those who persist in the face of obstacles – including the obstacle of time.

I undertook my life in the stubborn spirit of the hare.

I went to law school straight from grade 13 (CEGEP, in Quebec) because someone bet me I couldn’t get in. I took a job in NYC because on my first day of law school, someone said, “you don’t deserve to be here. Go back to high school where you belong. And don’t bother getting a job in New York City – you’ll never succeed.” When I quit my law job, it wasn’t for a two month trip, it was for an open jaw adventure to Siberia that unfurled into a glorious and food-filled new career.

My identity for years was the lawyer who quit her job to eat soup. As I’ve laid in bed on and off since 2017, I’ve watched the travel industry and my fellow writers move on with their lives. Mine feels very stuck. I am very unused to not being able to solve problems by DOING, and it is a monumental shift in my mindset. Above and beyond the leak, my health will require a different way of approaching work.

Apparently it’s time to be the tortoise.

Tortoise pic from one of the first adventures in my round-the-world trip: the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador

I’m still feeling around the edges of what that means for me. Sealing and healing will require me to change a lot about how I approach work and achievement, because excessive doing is a surefire way to undo my progress. There’s a lot here I hope to write about in the future, about learning to get under your mind and into your heart.

About your hope being derived from the gratitude in your present, not just your imagined better future.

About listening to your body before it’s too late.

About not necessarily taking every bet that comes your way as a life challenge.

For now, though, I don’t know what I will redefine life “as.” I trust that it will unfold in its own way. While mourning the life I had, I also feel curious about what comes next.

But first: this leak in my spine needs to be firmly sealed for me to get walking again.

***

Thank you all as always for the caring notes, the questions, and the overwhelming support and love. I am extraordinarily lucky to have such a robust army of cheerleaders around the world.

Many of you have dedicated your meditation practices to my health, and for that I am grateful. I do plan to restart the group meditations next week, on Sunday February 10th. If you are interested in joining, the first 7 weeks are here, and you can enjoy any of the meditations as the tracks are all on that post.

I have been meditating alone here, but with all that unfolded I couldn’t manage the group ones during the holidays. I appreciate how many emails I’ve received asking when they’ll restart, and I am so glad many of you find them helpful and a source of light.

I haven’t written publicly in a long time, but typing this post out with my thumbs felt very good. I missed it. And though I would still be writing if no one was reading, I’m glad to go through this very tough journey with a community like you to help make things better along the way.

Jodi

The post A Winter CSF Leak Update appeared first on Legal Nomads.

A Winter CSF Leak Update published first on https://takebreaktravel.tumblr.com/

[outsidespaceblog]

A Winter CSF Leak Update

I’ve received many very similar emails and DMs during the last few days.

“Jodi…?” the messages start out. “I don’t want to bother you but it has been a long time since you posted, and I’m really starting to worry.”

“Jodi: blink twice if you’re ok?”

“Jodi, here is a llama walking into an optometrist’s office in France. I thought of you! Also, ARE YOU OK?”

In a world of easy access to people’s inboxes, readers have only been a pleasure, a virtual cloud of warmth and never a burden. And when so many of you ping at once, I know I am due for an update. In this slow bedrest state, life feels like a woozy Groundhog Day. I love the filaments that connect me to so many of you, reminding me not to lose track of time entirely. I am so humbled by your care.

***

When I was a kid, my mother said my first word was a word. Instead of continuing along those lines, apparently the next thing I started said was a sentence, “see car go by.”

“And then,” my family jokes, “she never stopped talking!”

Being at a loss for words is not a problem I normally have. But yes, I have been very lax at updating because it’s been hard to find words for what I’m feeling.

A Leaky Anniversary

January 26 was the one year anniversary of the patch that sealed me last year. I had a really rough and heart-wrenching time reckoning with where I am on this anniversary. Instead of scaffolding off the slow and arduous recovery that followed the anaphylaxis and procedure, I am in bed.

Again.

For many months.

If you’re just tuning in, the CSF leak that sealed up and was healing reopened because I sat on the ground. Gingerly. Not even enthusiastically. I went from 4-5km walks a day, to no walking in record time.

At first, I was in extreme denial that something so small, so inhibited could blow out the scar tissue that had months to form. But one by one, each symptom I had in 2017 came back. I keep detailed daily logs of every symptom, supplement or mediation, and food. I couldn’t deny what I was experiencing.

Then, the grief. The anger. The deep sadness, the kind that suffocates all hope.

We learn about the “stages of grief” in popular culture, but what happens when they just cycle over and over? When you think you’ve come out the other side and can breathe again, when you tilt your face up at a brighter-than-you-remembered sun, only to find that you’re back in the dark?

***

My body, when I releaked, was in far better shape than the initial leak in 2017. Labs last summer showed improvements and lower inflammatory markers. I tried to stay positive. My friends and family came to visit. My inbox overflowed with llama photos.

As fall turned to winter, I saw some wonderful improvements. I stopped having the “brain sag” of my brain smushing into my spine due to low pressure. I moved into “high pressure” again, which is usually a symptom of the leak starting to seal over — the extra CSF produced while leaking backs up against the hole now tentatively closed. I started on the meds to lower intracranial pressure to prevent the fragile seal from bursting due to pressure. I felt cautiously optimistic.

And then a few weeks later in mid-December, I had an awful nightmare in my sleep. I remember it perfectly. And I also remember what woke me up: the excruciating pain in my back.

After an epidural blood patch to seal a CSF leak, the discharge instructions note that there’s to be no bending, lifting, or twisting for many weeks, but also that coughing or sneezing can blow out the patch due to intrathecal pressure. Many fellow leakers have blown out their patches — a clot or glue covering the leak temporarily while your own body can heal with scar tissue underneath — from constipation (pushing), sneezing, coughing, laughing.

Suspend your humanness while you can, the unsaid instructions whisper. Don’t do anything that can compromise this seal.

In my case, this nightmare I had blew out the seal and I was back to square one.

The Roller-Coaster of Ups and Downs

It is difficult for me to express the crazy-making nature of this condition.

In many cases, there is no imaging available that is sensitive enough to show a leak. Misdiagnoses are common. Imaging such as MRIs or more invasive testing like a CT-myelography turn up normal in an alarming percentage of cases. And normal imaging, the leak experts have learned, does not exclude a leak.

So the best way to know if you are leaking is via your symptoms or your story. In my case: I had none of these symptoms prior to a lumbar puncture, and have not been functional since. But the difficulty of external corroboration and testing only exacerbates anxiety about what may or may not be happening in your body. It is a very tough, very exhausting dance to undertake. I have struggled the most with this balance of attempting to stay in touch with my body while also uncurling my clenched hands from the eventual outcome. Science tells us that focusing ad nauseum on our pain can magnify it in our minds, hence the usefulness of mindfulness and other meditation.

When your condition requires a focus on pain, and you also know you need to stay equanimous to heal effectively? That is a total mindfuck.

***

In mid-December, a close family member took a turn for the very worse. The funeral was around Christmas. I was too unwell to attend. Combined with the Re-Re-leak, I spiralled pretty solidly into a very bleak place.

If I’ve learned anything in this madness, it’s that staying in the black hole of despair is not how you heal. With the crutches of visits and calls from close friends, someone to talk with who specializes in grief, and the tools I’ve drawn on at the worst of times, I was able to wrench myself to a better place.

But still, I am not sealed and healed.

***

I put off Duke when I re-leaked because of what happened during the last round of patching. There is a lesson about anxiety in that procedure too: in my most creative of nightmares, I never imagined anaphylaxis as part of what could go wrong.

But it did, and while they will not use fibrin glue again (suspecting that was the cause for anaphylaxis), I’ve written about how my body seems to be stuck in that very reactive, anaphylax-y place. My mast cells degranulated all over the place and LOVED it. They seem to enjoy doing so again and again since, not only to foods but also smells – and even hot showers.

Given how pear-shaped things went last time, I wanted to give my body a long chance to seal before committing to another procedure. When I did seemingly seal up in November, I was so thrilled. It didn’t (and doesn’t) matter to me if it takes a long time, though my parents have the patience of saints. If slow and steady was the way, I was ok with that as long as I sealed up.

I will be honest: my turbulent December and January have tested the limits of my capacity for grace and patience and hope. I have been on bedrest for quite a few months. While I’m not bored, the pain levels are pretty unconscionable and keeping my spirit up has been a mighty challenge.

From my own calculus: if I do need to go back to Duke, I want to know I gave my body a full shot.

That way, if – IF – things go awry again during a procedure, I won’t be able to look back and say, “should have given it a bit more time.”

***

So where are we now? It’s February, and long term readers know this means my favourite holiday in the world: Vietnamese lunar new year or Tet. An amazing reader named Wendy just sent me a pic of lamp in my name from her family’s temple in Malaysia, a New Year wish of health and prosperity. Lunar new year was always a time for reflection and cleaning and cleansing during my time in Asia. I’ve kept that spirit during my return to Mexico and Canada with small celebrations to welcome the next calendar.

New Year starts in a few days, and with it I hope a better climate for healing.

I have seen such progress since the re-leak, progress I didn’t see when first in bed in 2017. I keep flipping into high pressure as it starts to seal, then unsealing. It may be that I need intervention after all, but I still have hope that the JodiDura-that-could comes through this winter. I’m eating a strict and healthy diet, meditating, visualizing, consistently working to bring my mind into a better space.

If I can’t seal during the winter, it certainly won’t be because I didn’t try.

Learning to be the Tortoise

There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch. Hare ran down the road for a while and then and paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, “How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?” Hare stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking, “There is plenty of time to relax.” Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until he came to the finish line. The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for Tortoise, they woke up Hare. Hare stretched and yawned and began to run again, but it was too late. Tortoise was over the line. After that, Hare always reminded himself, “Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!”

The moral lesson of the Aesop’s “Tortoise and the Hare” fable is that sometimes you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily than by rash action. The race (of life) isn’t necessarily won by the fastest or strongest animal, but by those who persist in the face of obstacles – including the obstacle of time.

I undertook my life in the stubborn spirit of the hare.

I went to law school straight from grade 13 (CEGEP, in Quebec) because someone bet me I couldn’t get in. I took a job in NYC because on my first day of law school, someone said, “you don’t deserve to be here. Go back to high school where you belong. And don’t bother getting a job in New York City – you’ll never succeed.” When I quit my law job, it wasn’t for a two month trip, it was for an open jaw adventure to Siberia that unfurled into a glorious and food-filled new career.

My identity for years was the lawyer who quit her job to eat soup. As I’ve laid in bed on and off since 2017, I’ve watched the travel industry and my fellow writers move on with their lives. Mine feels very stuck. I am very unused to not being able to solve problems by DOING, and it is a monumental shift in my mindset. Above and beyond the leak, my health will require a different way of approaching work.

Apparently it’s time to be the tortoise.

Tortoise pic from one of the first adventures in my round-the-world trip: the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador

I’m still feeling around the edges of what that means for me. Sealing and healing will require me to change a lot about how I approach work and achievement, because excessive doing is a surefire way to undo my progress. There’s a lot here I hope to write about in the future, about learning to get under your mind and into your heart.

About your hope being derived from the gratitude in your present, not just your imagined better future.

About listening to your body before it’s too late.

About not necessarily taking every bet that comes your way as a life challenge.

For now, though, I don’t know what I will redefine life “as.” I trust that it will unfold in its own way. While mourning the life I had, I also feel curious about what comes next.

But first: this leak in my spine needs to be firmly sealed for me to get walking again.

***

Thank you all as always for the caring notes, the questions, and the overwhelming support and love. I am extraordinarily lucky to have such a robust army of cheerleaders around the world.

Many of you have dedicated your meditation practices to my health, and for that I am grateful. I do plan to restart the group meditations next week, on Sunday February 10th. If you are interested in joining, the first 7 weeks are here, and you can enjoy any of the meditations as the tracks are all on that post.

I have been meditating alone here, but with all that unfolded I couldn’t manage the group ones during the holidays. I appreciate how many emails I’ve received asking when they’ll restart, and I am so glad many of you find them helpful and a source of light.

I haven’t written publicly in a long time, but typing this post out with my thumbs felt very good. I missed it. And though I would still be writing if no one was reading, I’m glad to go through this very tough journey with a community like you to help make things better along the way.

Jodi

The post A Winter CSF Leak Update appeared first on Legal Nomads.

A Winter CSF Leak Update published first on https://whartonstravel.tumblr.com/

[tripile]

A Winter CSF Leak Update

I’ve received many very similar emails and DMs during the last few days.

“Jodi…?” the messages start out. “I don’t want to bother you but it has been a long time since you posted, and I’m really starting to worry.”

“Jodi: blink twice if you’re ok?”

“Jodi, here is a llama walking into an optometrist’s office in France. I thought of you! Also, ARE YOU OK?”

In a world of easy access to people’s inboxes, readers have only been a pleasure, a virtual cloud of warmth and never a burden. And when so many of you ping at once, I know I am due for an update. In this slow bedrest state, life feels like a woozy Groundhog Day. I love the filaments that connect me to so many of you, reminding me not to lose track of time entirely. I am so humbled by your care.

***

When I was a kid, my mother said my first word was a word. Instead of continuing along those lines, apparently the next thing I started said was a sentence, “see car go by.”

“And then,” my family jokes, “she never stopped talking!”

Being at a loss for words is not a problem I normally have. But yes, I have been very lax at updating because it’s been hard to find words for what I’m feeling.

A Leaky Anniversary

January 26 was the one year anniversary of the patch that sealed me last year. I had a really rough and heart-wrenching time reckoning with where I am on this anniversary. Instead of scaffolding off the slow and arduous recovery that followed the anaphylaxis and procedure, I am in bed.

Again.

For many months.

If you’re just tuning in, the CSF leak that sealed up and was healing reopened because I sat on the ground. Gingerly. Not even enthusiastically. I went from 4-5km walks a day, to no walking in record time.

At first, I was in extreme denial that something so small, so inhibited could blow out the scar tissue that had months to form. But one by one, each symptom I had in 2017 came back. I keep detailed daily logs of every symptom, supplement or mediation, and food. I couldn’t deny what I was experiencing.

Then, the grief. The anger. The deep sadness, the kind that suffocates all hope.

We learn about the “stages of grief” in popular culture, but what happens when they just cycle over and over? When you think you’ve come out the other side and can breathe again, when you tilt your face up at a brighter-than-you-remembered sun, only to find that you’re back in the dark?

***

My body, when I releaked, was in far better shape than the initial leak in 2017. Labs last summer showed improvements and lower inflammatory markers. I tried to stay positive. My friends and family came to visit. My inbox overflowed with llama photos.

As fall turned to winter, I saw some wonderful improvements. I stopped having the “brain sag” of my brain smushing into my spine due to low pressure. I moved into “high pressure” again, which is usually a symptom of the leak starting to seal over — the extra CSF produced while leaking backs up against the hole now tentatively closed. I started on the meds to lower intracranial pressure to prevent the fragile seal from bursting due to pressure. I felt cautiously optimistic.

And then a few weeks later in mid-December, I had an awful nightmare in my sleep. I remember it perfectly. And I also remember what woke me up: the excruciating pain in my back.

After an epidural blood patch to seal a CSF leak, the discharge instructions note that there’s to be no bending, lifting, or twisting for many weeks, but also that coughing or sneezing can blow out the patch due to intrathecal pressure. Many fellow leakers have blown out their patches — a clot or glue covering the leak temporarily while your own body can heal with scar tissue underneath — from constipation (pushing), sneezing, coughing, laughing.

Suspend your humanness while you can, the unsaid instructions whisper. Don’t do anything that can compromise this seal.

In my case, this nightmare I had blew out the seal and I was back to square one.

The Roller-Coaster of Ups and Downs

It is difficult for me to express the crazy-making nature of this condition.

No imaging sensitive enough to show a leak in many cases, including where it is located in the spine. Many people are chronically misdiagnosed because their imaging is normal. Normal imaging, the leak experts have learned, does not exclude a leak.

So the best way to know if you are leaking is via your symptoms, which only exacerbates your anxiety about what may or may not be happening in your body. It is a very tough, very exhausting dance to undertake. I have struggled the most with this balance of attempting to stay in touch with my body while also uncurling my clenched hands from the eventual outcome. Science tells us that focusing ad nauseum on our pain can magnify it in our minds, hence the usefulness of mindfulness and other meditation.

When your condition requires a focus on pain, and you also know you need to stay equanimous to heal effectively? That is a total mindfuck.

***

In mid-December, a close family member took a turn for the very worse. The funeral was around Christmas. I was too unwell to attend. Combined with the Re-Re-leak, I spiralled pretty solidly into a very bleak place.

If I’ve learned anything in this madness, it’s that staying in the black hole of despair is not how you heal. With the crutches of visits and calls from close friends, someone to talk with who specializes in grief, and the tools I’ve drawn on at the worst of times, I was able to wrench myself to a better place.

But still, I am not sealed and healed.

***

I put off Duke when I re-leaked because of what happened during the last round of patching. There is a lesson about anxiety in that procedure too: in my most creative of nightmares, I never imagined anaphylaxis as part of what could go wrong.

But it did, and while they will not use fibrin glue again (suspecting that was the cause for anaphylaxis), I’ve written about how my body seems to be stuck in that very reactive, anaphylax-y place. My mast cells degranulated all over the place and LOVED it. They seem to enjoy doing so again and again since, not only to foods but also smells – and even hot showers.

Given how pear-shaped things went last time, I wanted to give my body a long chance to seal before committing to another procedure. When I did seemingly seal up in November, I was so thrilled. It didn’t (and doesn’t) matter to me if it takes a long time, though my parents have the patience of saints. If slow and steady was the way, I was ok with that as long as I sealed up.

I will be honest: my turbulent December and January have tested the limits of my capacity for grace and patience and hope. I have been on bedrest for quite a few months. While I’m not bored, the pain levels are pretty unconscionable and keeping my spirit up has been a mighty challenge.

From my own calculus: if I do need to go back to Duke, I want to know I gave my body a full shot.

That way, if – IF – things go awry again during a procedure, I won’t be able to look back and say, “should have given it a bit more time.”

***

So where are we now? It’s February, and almost at my favourite holiday in the world: Vietnamese lunar new year or Tet. An amazing reader named Wendy just sent me a pic of lamp in my name from her family’s temple in Malaysia, a New Year wish of health and prosperity. Lunar new year was a time for reflection and cleaning and cleansing for my years in Asia, and I’ve kept that spirit during my return to Mexico and Canada. New Year starts in a few days, and with it I hope a better climate for healing.

I have seen such progress since the re-leak, progress I didn’t see when first in bed in 2017. I keep flipping into high pressure as it starts to seal, then unsealing. It may be that I need intervention after all, but I still have hope that the JodiDura-that-could comes through this winter. I’m eating a strict and healthy diet, meditating, visualizing, consistently working to bring my mind into a better space.

If I can’t seal during the winter, it certainly won’t be because I didn’t try.

Learning to be the Tortoise

There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch. Hare ran down the road for a while and then and paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, “How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?” Hare stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking, “There is plenty of time to relax.” Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until he came to the finish line. The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for Tortoise, they woke up Hare. Hare stretched and yawned and began to run again, but it was too late. Tortoise was over the line. After that, Hare always reminded himself, “Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!”

The moral lesson of the Aesop’s “Tortoise and the Hare” fable is that sometimes you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily than by rash action. The race (of life) isn’t necessarily won by the fastest or strongest animal, but by those who persist in the face of obstacles – including the obstacle of time.

I undertook my life in the stubborn spirit of the hare.

I went to law school straight from grade 13 (CEGEP, in Quebec) because someone bet me I couldn’t get in. I took a job in NYC because on my first day of law school, someone said, “you don’t deserve to be here. Go back to high school where you belong. And don’t bother getting a job in New York City – you’ll never succeed.” When I quit my law job, it wasn’t for a two month trip, it was for an open jaw adventure to Siberia that unfurled into a glorious and food-filled new career.

My identity for years was the lawyer who quit her job to eat soup. As I’ve laid in bed on and off since 2017, I’ve watched the travel industry and my fellow writers move on with their lives. Mine feels very stuck. I am very unused to not being able to solve problems by DOING, and it is a monumental shift in my mindset. Above and beyond the leak, my health will require a different way of approaching work.

Apparently it’s time to be the tortoise.

Tortoise pic from one of the first adventures in my round-the-world trip: the Galapagos Islands in Ecuador

I’m still feeling around the edges of what that means for me. Sealing and healing will require me to change a lot about how I approach work and achievement, because excessive doing is a surefire way to undo my progress. There’s a lot here I hope to write about in the future, about learning to get under your mind and into your heart.

About listening to your body before it’s too late.

About not necessarily taking every bet that comes your way as a life challenge.

For now, though, I don’t know what I will redefine life “as.” I trust that it will unfold in its own way. While mourning the life I had, I also feel curious about what comes next.

But first: this leak in my spine needs to be firmly sealed for me to get walking again.

***

Thank you all as always for the caring notes, the questions, and the overwhelming support and love. I am extraordinarily lucky to have such a robust army of cheerleaders around the world.

Many of you have dedicated your meditation practices to my health, and for that I am grateful. I do plan to restart the group meditations next week, on Sunday February 10th. If you are interested in joining, the first 7 weeks are here, and you can enjoy any of the meditations as the tracks are all on that post.

I have been meditating alone here, but with all that unfolded I couldn’t manage the group ones during the holidays. I appreciate how many emails I’ve received asking when they’ll restart, and I am so glad many of you find them helpful and a source of light.

I haven’t written publicly in a long time, but typing this post out with my thumbs felt very good. I missed it. And though I would still be writing if no one was reading, I’m glad to go through this very tough journey with a community like you to help make things better along the way.

Jodi

The post A Winter CSF Leak Update appeared first on Legal Nomads.

A Winter CSF Leak Update published first on https://oceandreamblog.tumblr.com/

[brucetheanimator]

How I feel

I am happy with the progress that I am making. I had some difficulty with my music and hiccups in the animation process that were making me worried I was not going to finish.

I set up a micro deadline for myself to complete all the clean-up animation before the 30th of March. I’m sad to say that I did not hit my goal.

I’m not worried, Although the resources will be blocked off to me over the weekend, the lack of post-production and speed of my progress has me feeling reassured.

I have one scene left to clean for after the 30th and I left myself and easier scene with only 1 character apposed to my other scenes that contained 2-3.

Hopefully I’ll be able to colour the film in 1-3 days. I have decided to give the characters different coloured clothes and am currently debating about giving the characters white or black hair. 

That is a decision and crisis for future me. I will get my written assignments completed over the holiday long week-end so that I don’t overwhelm myself in the coming weeks. I have had one panic attack and am doing everything in my power to avoid another. Slow and steady wins the race and I have began picking up speed in a routine and I’m keeping steady.

Very happy my plan is working for the most part. I also made sure to start with the end and spread the work over randomized scenes. As I begin to panic my mistakes are blending and you cannot tell where or if I am losing steam. The film looks like it will be a success and I have a week to figure out and touch up the sound.

Thats all the reporting I have for now. For better or worse, things will turn out fine.

[geekysweetie]

Animal Crossing Pocket Camp Nintendo Mobile Game Review for IOS and Android

Title: Animal Crossing Pocket Camp

Developer: Nintendo

Genre: Simulation

Release Date:

Price: Free with optional in-game purchases

Where to Get:

IOS: https://itunes.apple.com/…

Android: https://play.google.com/…

Overall: 56/70 80% “B-” Very Good Game for Girls!

Geeky: 5/5 – Animal Crossing has a huge cult following because of it’s unique and strange gameplay and quirky cute characters. There is so much to do and see and it all takes place in an ever evolving changing persistent world that keeps you playing for hundreds or thousands of gaming hours.

Sweetie: 5/5 – Very few games come close to being as cute as animal crossing with its chibi anthropomorphic citizens and bright colors. This game is full of charm and wonder.

Gameplay: 8/10 – Animal Crossing is finally on mobile, which quite frankly is where this franchise has always belonged. It just makes sense as a mobile game given the style of gameplay which it innovated back in 2005. Now almost 12 years later, technology has evolved to where mobile makes the most sense for these types of games, having it with us in our pockets and purses, playing it on commutes, or while waiting in line at a busy store, or while at an appointment, or those few moments before sleeping or getting out of bed.

Animal Crossing is best enjoyed in these little breaks and little moments. It’s also best enjoyed when played often as things change and happen in a living breathing world inside of your game. There are holidays and special events and animals come and go in and out of your areas. Having it on your phone puts it always at your finger tips.

If you’ve never heard of Animal Crossing before (which is highly unlikely but just in case lol), Animal Crossing’s gameplay consists of quiet, calming activities, and cute, and quirky characters, who are, as you have probably guessed by now, animals.

These animals may ask you to complete quests for them and in exchange give you random furniture and clothing. You can also craft your own furniture and clothing as well. Certain games in the series even score you and award you more items and points for decorating your home such as Animal Crossing Happy Home Designer.

In fact, collecting these things and dressing up and designing has always been a big draw to the series. But it’s not the only thing that players love. Many players love to spend hours fishing, gardening, or catching bugs in the game. You can use them as items to trade with NPCs to complete quests or give them to other players or display them in your home or the museum, or sell them for bells (the game’s currency) to buy new items.

Buying new items is addictive too, every day you turn on your game, you will see new items to purchase. Only available for that one day, and completely unique to just you. Not that the same items won’t appear again for you, or for other players, but this particular “collection” of items is unique to you. You may have on one day, a boom box, kitchen sink, and pink sofa, while your friend may have a dining room table, expensive rug, and statue of Link from Zelda. – Of course some items are more rare than others, and since friends can visit your home, you can show off all your rare items and score bragging rights.

Nearly everything about these games are customizeable, from your character’s gender, name, appearance (initially determined by answers to questions presented when first starting the game), to your home, to your world around you. This also is another big draw to these types of games.

New animals will appear and disappear from time to time in your world. This also increases incentive to stay active and stay in touch with your favorite NPCs. After an NPC leaves (in the traditional versions of this game, not sure about mobile), they will send letters to you and sometimes give you gifts.

The games also feature night and day and weather cycles which add more variety to each play through. What you do on any given day is up to you! There is no objective, no goal, no ending, no progression it’s just a sandbox, a living breathing world for you to explore and interact with each day.

This sounds like a huge plus – and in many ways it is, but it can also be a drawback as there is very little urgency or pressure or nothing really compelling you to keep pushing forward. Many times my love for these games starts strong, but 3 or 4 months in and I find I’m barely logging in, but without fail always 6 months later I’m back to being addicted and wanting to play daily. My interest in these types of games goes through spurts like that. I think I burn out from the casual nature, but then find myself wanting to relax and enjoy a cute game and gravitating right back to it, for the same reason that I left it in the first place. It’s almost a double edged sword.

Anyways now that I’ve given you the basics of the franchise, let’s talk about what Animal Crossing Pocket Camp does differently than the other games in the series. For starters, as the name suggests, the entire game takes place in the great outdoors. You’re given a campsite you can decorate. And you have a camper trailer that you can decorate both inside and out. You travel and visit other animals (or visit your friends) and you can take quests, craft, shop, and do all the good basic animal crossing stuff.

Some areas will be blocked from exploring initially. You need to either pay leaf tickets (special in game currency obtainable with real money (but quite often also given for free as quest rewards), or get the help of friends to enter these new areas.

New areas open sometimes for special events like right now there’s a Christmas area where you can get more candy canes to help craft the time limited Christmas themed items which you need 5 friends to help you unlock.

You can link the account to your nintendo account or link your facebook and twitter to find more friends! 🙂 Playing animal crossing with your friends is now easier than ever.

So those are a few of the positive features.

On the downside, they’ve removed the actual houses, so that’s a bit disappointing for those of us who liked modeling our homes.

Also my biggest gripe is too much is just “handed” to us. In previous games, we each had a random fruit. In this game, when I get to the tutorial, I’m given tons of different fruits I can hoarde to plant back at my own campsite. Making the need to work with friends less important in this game.

I also don’t know / haven’t tested how inviting a friend over to your campsite works and how or if you can communicate with them and what activities you can do together. I feel like it may be more limited than in the other games, but maybe I’m wrong.

Other than that, the game offers a feeling of playing the console and handheld Animal Crossing games right on your mobile phone.

Story: 4/10 – Story has never ever been Animal Crossing’s strong suit, and I think for me personally, that’s why I get bored of the games so fast and have an on/off love/hate relationships with them. I play games primarily for story above anything else. So lack of really much to offer here makes it a bit dull to me.

Characters: 10/10 – The characters are charming and cute and have always been the best part of the animal crossing games.

Graphics: 10/10 These graphics look just as good as any Animal Crossing game I have ever played, and it’s a free mobile game, now that’s impressive!

Music: 5/10 Music is just sort of average. Nothing to write home about. Sometimes it can be cute and catchy, other times repetitive and annoying. Depends on my mood and the song in question.

Replay Value: 9/10 – The very nature of Animal Crossing as a franchise is a slow and steady journey meant to be enjoyed through several (often times daily) small playing sessions. Animal Crossing offers much to do, from fishing, bug catching, gardening, to crafting, to shopping, to collecting, to decorating your home and dressing up your avatar. However, it does get repetitive because of the slow and lackadaisical gameplay style. – Which don’t get me wrong, that gameplay style has also always been the game’s strong suit and its unique charm, and what makes it so much fun. There also are time limited goals, time limited items, and time limited quests to complete which will keep you logging back in. However, it’s also the type of game you can play for 10 hours a day for 6 months straight and then feel bored of. It’s much better to enjoy it about an hour a day, as if you immerse yourself too long, you will burn out quickly. But kept in small doses, you will be playing this, or any other animal crossing title for years to come. Now that animal crossing is on our mobile phones we are all doomed to be playing it religiously for the foreseeable future. And future updates will make this even more enticing.

Overall: 56/70 80% “B-” Very Good Game for Girls!

Other Games You May Like:

Castaway Paradise – pretty much an animal crossing clone. It was fun, but ain’t no animal crossing. Now that animal crossing is on mobile, I see no reason to play this.

Animal Days by Gree  Sadly this is no longer around, but probably one of my all time favorite mobile games, you should check it out since there’s still a wealth of images and info available online with a quick Google search; it’s interesting to read about just because of how unique and fun it was. It had the cute animals, moving in and out of your village, and most excitingly, you could BREED your animal villagers to create new villagers. There were time limited release villagers, and all kinds of really cute things to decorate your home, and a cute story too. I was sad when it closed. I heard they underestimated how popular it was going to become and couldn’t manage well with the production schedule for new releases and updates. I wish someone would buy the code from them and revive this project, but it’s been dead for 5 years now, so it’s not likely to happen. I would rather play Animal Days by Gree over even the best Animal Crossing game, because the breeding and randomized aspects make me so excited.

Happy Street – “sort of” a clone of animal crossing, but completely different gameplay, still, animals at random move into your village, and you fish and mine and craft and so on. but yeah, just it’s different, it’s more like mobile clicker type gameplay, but it has the same charm and theme as animal crossing and is a fun and different enough game that you should play both! 🙂 — There’s also a version of this put out by Line Play, and the name is escaping me right now. Same game / user interface, but different graphic assets and run by different companies. It still has cute animals moving in and out of your village and same gameplay mechanics. I think Happy Street was marketed more and took off more rapidly, and thus the Line Play “clone version” is a lot less widely known – might be worth checking out for you if you love Animal Crossing or Happy Street though!

Seabeard – This has a huge massive open sandbox world and captures some of the unique gameplay aspects of animal crossing.

Line Play – for the fishing and dressing up and decorating and kawaii style.

Animal Crossing Pocket Camp Nintendo Mobile Game Review for IOS and Android was originally published on GeekySweetie.com - Geeky & Kawaii Anime, Tech, Toys, & Game Reviews & News

[eatcreatesleepstudios]

Dev Blog #160 - Uphill Battle

Many battles have been won this week and an immense progress was made in tackling some of the long-overdue issues.

Community

A new patch will be released today. Johannes is still working on it with full force together with Jens but it'll come out very soon.

We'll keep it short in the Community section this week but don't worry, there will be a special blog post on Tuesday, keep a lookout for that! Also be aware of our Discord channel, holiday season seems to make everyone a bit...silly.

Art

Martin

Until all of the new exciting features and revamped systems are done by code, I'm in a bit of a slump when it comes to content. Bottlenecks sometimes happen, usually for us non-programmers and especially in a procedural game.

So what we do is trying to do meaningful work that doesn't increase the workload for the programmers. I'm designing hats! Each doctrine's city leader will have their animal symbol as a hat to make it easier to know at a glance which doctrine a certain city follows.

Code

Johannes

I've been making good progress on the new water system. It's very satisfying to see it come together. I can't wait for it to be finished and working together with the rest of the game systems.I've also done some work on today's patch release, mostly merging fixes back from the dev branch.

Jens

Most of this week I've felt like I'm making a nature documentary film. I have tweaked, continued to improved, and tested the migration behaviours of all animals. Made sure that they all migrate at appropriate times. This involves a lot of observations and documentation of data related to migration and feeding of the animals. Herbivores moves when they are out of food or if they are being hunted heavily by predators. And when they move, the predators soon migrate after.

The balancing of values will be further worked on but we can already see huge improvements in how impactful the followers are on the eco system. If followers decimate a predators food source, the predators will move to another food source that maybe already sustains another group of predators. Now two groups are hunting from the same herbivore habitat, resulting in a slow and steady collaps if one is not careful.

I also made a change to pathing to ensure that followers will now avoid walking through a hippo habitat if they can find a better way. Hopefully this will prevent the massacres we've had previously...

Johannes W 

You may have noticed in the game that followers and animals are glitching/snapping to positions when they are walking. Until now, the walking animation was dependent on a variable we call "time units". Time units are a sort of currency for how many actions a follower or an animal can do before they need to rest. Time units are updated on a constant time interval. Walking from A to B costs the amount of time units relative to the total distance to walk. The speed in which the characters moved was determined by the animation, which made it difficult to sync the updated time units and the animations. Now, the walking animations control when time units are spent. This thing should be implemented before the christmas holiday. Tomas

I have been working with Follower & City Needs this week. The system has not been working as intended and was finally rectified. It is a complex system of cravings and basic needs that determines followers' happiness and what they do with their free will actions. I added a bunch of debug tools so that the system is easier to balance, which should make Emelie's work easier.

Production

Marcus

This week I have been doing some playtesting and helping out with game design stuff, in addition to my ordinary work of keeping track of the project and making sure that everyone knows what they're doing. I have also started planning work for beginning of next year.

Have a nice weekend!

[howellrichard]

6 Self-Care Tips for the Gentle Soul

Hiya Gorgeous!

Do you feel pressure to improve? The year is winding down and maybe your life isn’t where you want it to be yet—despite all your best efforts to transform. Perhaps you’re comparing yourself to others who seem to have it all. Or you’re holding yourself to a standard that jacks up your stress and tinkles on your joy. Well, I can certainly relate.

Every year around this time, I slowly begin my year in review by taking inventory on what worked, what didn’t, what turned out better and what was a total disaster. Suffice to say, I have examples in each of these categories. But here’s where it gets interesting, when I analyze what did work and why, there’s a common theme: simplification.

Small steps, consistently taken, add up to big changes. So if you’re itching for a wellness breakthrough, I encourage you to test drive a few simple shifts to your self-care routine, rather than sweeping changes that overwhelm you.

Change doesn’t have to be intense to work. Your life is already pretty packed—a little too packed if you ask me—so instead of loading up your to do list with goals and pressure, get a jump start on your New Year’s resolutions, intentions or whatever you like to call them, by trying some of the ideas below instead.

And listen up well-meaning perfectionists, stop getting in your own way and relax. Your new mantra is progress, not perfection. You don’t have to do these things 100% to see the benefit. In truth, perfectionism is really a desperate attempt at creating certainty—which doesn’t exist. It drains our life force, pisses off your soul and sucks the collagen out of our faces (or does that just happen to me?!). For the majority of us, when we start from an extreme place and seek extreme results, we set ourselves up for extreme disappointment.

Simplicity. Ease. Grace. Let the turtle be your spirit animal. Slow and steady, my glorious friend. From a spiritual perspective there is no race, anyway. There’s only growing.

6 Self-Care Tips for the Gentle Soul

With the holidays around the corner, this is a perfect time to ease into healthy practices that nurture your body and feed your spirit. Pick one or two points to focus on this month. Keep in mind that these suggestions aren’t about “never” doing something ever again. If you slip, congratulations! You’re HUMAN. Ask yourself why and just listen for the answers. And if these tips work for you, keep practicing them one glorious day at a time!

Start your day with introspection

Here’s how I greet each morning: I wake up when it’s still dark, light a candle and meditate for 10 minutes. Then I make tea and read something uplifting or write in my journal if I’m moved to. That’s it. The world is pretty chaotic and frightening right now. It’s easy to turn on the news and feel the energy seep right out of your body. Make it a vow to start your day by filling your well, instead. If you have to get up 15 minutes earlier, do it. Choose a time when your home is quiet and you’re the only soul awake. Or ask the waking souls to shhh so you can have your space.

Nourish your body first

What you eat is who you become. By choosing to nourish your body first thing, you’re setting the tone for the rest of the day. Water, green juice and avocado toast or a hearty smoothie will give you a boost of sustainable, nutrient-packed energy. If you love coffee, guess what? You don’t have to give it up (turtle power, remember). Instead, try cutting back to one cup and have your green juice first. Give your body a healthy burst of nutrients, alkalinity and antioxidants, then sip the joe. Need some motivation to get started? I’m kicking off a #greendrinkaday challenge on Monday, November 13th! It’s a 5-day reset designed to help you feel better. Sign up below and you’ll get tips, recipes and a planner.

Join me for 5 days of self-care during my #greendrinkaday challenge starting Monday, 11/13:

Talk to your cravings

As your day unfolds, notice if you find yourself battling cravings. Cookies, those Starbuck’s seasonal soirees in a cup, chips, a smoke? But remember, your cravings aren’t always about the sugar, caffeine or whatever it is you’re jonesin’ for. Sometimes they’re a plea from your higher self. Instead of mindlessly acquiescing to the donut, ask yourself what the urge is really about.

Do you need more sweetness in your life? A time out from stress? Some love? An apology? What’s the craving attempting to fill for you? And what could you do to satisfy that itch (and your soul) instead? Most of the time my cravings are a reminder to listen to my inner wisdom rather than my outer comfort. Compulsions to drown our pain in confections (or cocktails) are a sure sign that we have an undone spiritual assignment. Will you blow off your homework? Hint: It won’t go away. Suck it up and get it over with. Now is the perfect time to truly free yourself.

Practice The Daily Ten

You know you feel better when you move your body. There’s no denying it. So while you may not have time for a full-blown gym workout, you do have 10 minutes to shake what your mama gave you! Need some help? There are so many short online videos that are a click away. One of my favorites is Yogaglo.com. Countless teachers and practices at your fingertips. Another great resource is from my friends at FMTV.com. But those are only a few suggestion. Google your way to the workout that’s right for you. When I have more time I do longer sessions after work, but I still love my ten-minute bursts during the day. They energize my body and stimulate my creativity. If you’re having a hard time jump starting a workout program, start with the daily ten and up your game when you’re ready!

Cultivate what nourishes you BEYOND food

Your plate doesn’t contain all the answers. Your job won’t always fulfill you. Your kids aren’t always around (or pleasant!). And yet we all need soul nourishment. Without it, we wither. So what’s one thing you could do that would bring you some smiles this week?

I’ll go first: Helping animals. If you’re on my newsletter, you know that we recently raised close to $100,000 for rescue dogs in Puerto Rico and that we post animal adoptions in each week. I love this work! My heart doubles in size when someone writes to say that they donated to one of our favorite charities or adopted one of the sweet beings we shared. Our readers have actually flown across country to rescue their new family member—all based on a picture! This nourishes me just as much as kale. So, how about you? What nourishes your soul? What makes you feel more connected, happy or of service? Whatever it is, do more of it.

Have compassion for yourself

Unfortunately, suffering is a natural part of life. We can’t avoid it. The trick is to acknowledge your suffering and then bear-hug it with compassion. Compassion is the medicine. Once you apply compassion you’ll be able to take the lessons and move through the discomfort. Residual ouchies may remain, but they won’t harden you. We all have scars. They give us character. I have old wounds on my knees from bike crashes and canoe flips. And then there are the cancer scars. All of which are a part of me now, neither pretty or ugly, just there—longing for compassion.

Breathe. Smile. I love you. You love you.

Peace and gentleness,

The post 6 Self-Care Tips for the Gentle Soul appeared first on KrisCarr.com.