#professional humor

[saintartemis]

Someday I'm going to write a book about working in museums and have an entire chapter dedicated to the weird things people have said to or have asked me. On second thought maybe I’ll make that the whole book.

[blueteller]

You guys ever think about how funny it is that the whole reason why Cale did not have try at all to impersonate the original Cale, was because no one actually knew anything about him, despite the fact that everybody knew about him? On an international scale, even??

Cale: (doing an absolutely terrible job at being trash) Everybody else: That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about Cale Henituse to dispute it

[hairupintheair]

Trolls Cookbook Text

Troll Slaw

Ingredients

-9 Trolls, shredded -2 pounds of green cabbage -1 Teaspoon Caraway seeds -3 cups of mayonnaise -2 tablespoons white vinegar -1 clove garlic, minced -1 teaspoon dijon mustard -2 carrots, grated (1 cup)

Directions

In a large bowl, toss Trolls with 1 tbsp salt. Cover with ice water, refrigerate for 1 hour. This will preserve their color.

Drain the chilled Trolls, then squeeze in a towel to absorb any excess moisture. While simple, this is the most important step. The dressing will coat much better to a dry Troll.

Return to the large bowl. Stir in carrots and toasted caraway seeds. Add dressing and stir well.

Filet of Troll

Ingredients

-1/2 lbs filet of Trolls, trimmed and tied -5 tablespoons unsalted butter -1 tbsp salt -1 tbsp pepper

Directions

Preheat the oven to 451 degrees F. Place the Trolls on a sheet pan and pat them down. Use your hands to spread the butter over them. If they laugh, don't be alarmed. Trolls are ticklish by nature. Sprinkle the sale and pepper, evenly.

Roast in the oven for exactly 24 minutes. Remove the trolls from the oven, cover them tightly with aluminum foil, and allow them to rest at room temperature for 20 minutes. Remove the strings and slice the filet of trolls thickly.

Beef Trollganoff

Directions

Slice trolls against the grain into 1 inch strips. Trolls may lose color when you begin slicing. This is normal.

Cook Trolls using same skillet until brown. Heat to boil; reduce heat. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir into Troll mixture. Serve over noodles. Enjoy!

Ingredients

-1 1/2 pounds Troll -8 ounces day-old mushrooms, sliced -2 medium onions, thinly sliced -1/4 cups margarine -1 1/2 cups Troll-flavored broth -1/4 teaspoon salt -1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce -1/2 cup all purpose flour -1 1/2 cups sour cream -3 cups cooked egg noodles

Spicy Tuna Troll

Ingredients -5 cups sushi rice -2 sheets dry seaweed -3 tbsp white sesame seeds -4 lbs sushi-grade Trolls -1 cup mayonnaise -1/4 tbsp of dry chili pepper

Directions

Chop trolls and mix with mayonnaise and chili-pepper. Put a sheet of seaweed on a mat. Spread a portion of rice on top of the sheet. Sprinkle sesame seeds on top of the sushi rice. Please a portion of troll mixture lengthwise on the rice. Roll the mat, pressing forward to shape the sushi into a cylinder. Firmly press the mat and remove it from the sushi.

Cut the rolls into bite size pieces. Enjoy!

Jellied Cassetroll

Ingredients

-1 box of gelatin mix -12-17 Trolls -16 oz of sour cream -8 oz whipped topping -2 cups boiling water

Directions

Dissolve gelatin mixture in boiling water for 2 minutes. Add Trolls, chopped. Blend mixture with a hand mixer until the Trolls and gelatin have adequately mixed. Place in the fridge for 2-3 hours or until the gelatin mixture sets half way.

Lightly fold in the sour cream and whipped topping. Pour the entire mixture into a mold of your choice. This is where you get creative! Troll Hair molds, Trollstice molds, a mold for every occasion!

Fruity Troll Roll

Directions

Mix all the ingredients except chocolate in a large bowl. Stir thoroughly and place on a foil covered tray. Refrigerate until needed.

Form into two logs, using greased hands. If Troll hair protrudes from log, don't worry. This is great for presentation and adds a bit of color to the dish!

Melt chocolate while logs chill. Once melted, pour over logs. You may notice a few shouts or screams when you begin pouring the chocolate. This lets you know the chocolate is the perfect temperature! Chill the logs in the fridge.

Slice with a serrated knife to serve.

[slam-and-bam]

[itsawritblr]

Starting my writing day.

6 AM.

5 hours of writing and 5 cups of coffee later.

Still, it's better than working retail.

But then, everything is.

[chaifootsteps]

Wanted to vent in the inbox and if I’m wrong or mistaken on any of this please let me know.

People like to shit on Raph, but if I’m honest I don’t think he’s all that bad, with the exception of when they made sexual remarks to someone online that he didn’t know.

It turns out that who he said the thing about his “nudes” to was a minor, but even if it hadn’t been a minor, I think we really just shouldn’t be saying sexual stuff to people we don’t know online. It was still sexual harassment, even if it wasn’t intended to be, and I hope Raph apologized for it.

I don’t care about Raph’s kinks or rape fetish, I don’t care if he wants to cosplay as Angel Dust every day of their life and do Val/Angel CNC role plays for 24 hours a day.

I’m upset because VivziePop lied about Raph being a survivor to justify having someone with a rape fetish storyboard what was supposed to be a serious scene, but borrowed a lot material from Raphs fetish comics.

To my knowledge, Raph never said that they were approaching the storyboards they did seriously and weren’t treating them as fetish stuff, Viv did.

Viv was the one who lied about Raph being a survivor, and while I don’t know Raph and don’t really trust them, at least he’s been consistently honest about his fetish and to my knowledge hasn’t acted like the scenes he boarded were anything other than the stuff he usually makes.

I would literally not have cared if Viv had just admitted that there was fetish material in the show, but she went out of her way to lie about it and act like there was no possibility of poison being fetishized, even though we literally can’t know if it was boarded to be so or not based on Raph’s tastes.

Oh, he didn't. He gave an extremely half-assed apology, deleted his Twitter, ran to Instagram and bragged about impulse deleting it while flashing crotch, and then months later, lied that he'd deleted his Twitter as a form of accountability.

Also, apparently he "retracted" his apology, although if anyone could provide proof of this that would be helpful.

I think Raph's a slimebag and a liar, but I think he needs an intervention more than anything. You don't change your appearance to look like Angel Dust, start doing sex work like Angel Dust, and literally start going by Angel Dust's name unless something in your life has failed to be okay.

[wannabeprettyhot]

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

[blessedarethequeer]

much to my mother's continued confusion, not only do churches confusingly continue to offer me pulpits from which to preach, but they're increasingly excited to pay me for the opportunity as well lmao

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[beccawise7]

When you're honoring hump day, but still want to be professional. ~beccawise7 💜🖤

[mwolf0epsilon]

No one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, should introduce the 501st to Jackbox games...

[itsawritblr]

When a non-writer tells me, "I've got a great idea for a book."

[melancholicsaddreamer]

how i want to feel : fearless, painless, flawless

vs

how i actually feel : helpless, useless, worthless

[thepatchycat]

Long, boring meetings are better with a buddy.

[wannabeprettyhot]