#problematic song indeed but still a banger!
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"十面相" (Ten-Faced) by YM feat. GUMI (January 14, 2011)
#ten-faced#gumi#vocaloid#my gifs#problematic song indeed but still a banger!#watch me gif old vocaloid songs that make me nostalgic for my own enjoyment lol
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Very glad I found this tournament! Hyped to vote for Dare To Be Stupid at next opportunity. I'm a Transformers fan, it is my legal obligation. For Wreck-Gar, for all the Junkions, and TFTM being best transformers movie!
RIP to Virus Alert, The Night Santa went Crazy or Christmas at Ground Zero, though. Gone too soon </3 /lh
Good luck everyone, and may the best song win!
It's funny we're mentioning transformers movies now, because like
Okay so for the first time in my life, this year, I went to see a movie on my own entirely. And of all the movies, the first movie I ever saw on my own in a theatre was fucking Transformers Rise Of The Beasts.
NOT TO DISCREDIT THE MOVIE I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED RISE OF THE BEASTS IT WAS REALLY GOOD (FLAWED FOR SURE BUT STILL GOOD) BUT ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME THAT OF ALL THE MOVIES, THAT'S THE ONE THAT ENDS UP BEING MY FIRST SOLO EXPERIENCE. Also I think I did well despite how scared I was being on my own. I am making progress it is good.
Okay but as for if TFTM is the best, uh, huh...I've never actually thought about which transformers movie is the best? I think the entirety of the michael bay era movies melted my brain so much that in my mind, every transformers movie has just become a singular mass of crushed soda cans & optimus commiting war crimes every 5 minutes & also just,,,just a lot of racism. Like holy shit the second movie was just so very racist how the fuck did people look at that movie & go "yeah skids & mudflap are great i see nothing wrong here this is totally okay & there is nothing problematic about this at all lets release this as is it's totally cool & stuff guys" I mean Bumblebee & ROTB were good but my brain is still not fully recovered from a decade of bayformers just somehow lowering the bar every single time, dude what the fuck were those movies they feel like feverdreams to me
I mean looking back I still think the first bayformers movie is unironically pretty decent like its perfectly fine. I cannot say the same for any of the sequels except for like the second half of dark of the moon but even then you have to slog through an hour of crap before that movie starts to get better & that's not super good if only about 40% of the movie is actually good but the rest sucks ass
Anyways yeah Christmas at Ground Zero is the one I'm moruning the most lmao, rip to that beloved classic. But even so, every song in this bracket is a banger, they're all winners in that the fact they are in this at all is proof enough that they are indeed, classics. So they will still be in our hearts.
Ok but right I'm getting sidetracked again, glad you found it too. Welcome aboard fellow weird pal.
#mod toasty#weird al tournament#weird al#weird al yankovic#al yankovic#the weird al show#transformers
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Album & EP Recommendations
If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power by Halsey
Halsey’s evolution across her career has been quite something to witness. Having begun her career in pure pop territory, her artistry has developed over time with each new record seeing the American singer-songwriter up the ambition and scope of her music. Now with this her fourth album, Halsey has gone bigger than ever, teaming up with Nine Inch Nails members and Oscar-winning composers Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for her boldest work to date.
Produced entirely by Reznor and Ross, Halsey describes this new record as “a concept album about the joys and horrors of pregnancy and childbirth.” Naturally with any concept record there is going to be a cinematic feel, however Halsey has gone one step further and even delivered a full theatrical film to accompany the album, the trailer for which you can watch above. Although I am yet to see the film, there is no doubt that the musical portion is a mightily ambitious and accomplished project, with each song seamlessly segueing into the next despite the array of styles and genres across each track.
It may still be a pop record at the heart, but with the masterful touch of Reznor and Ross, Halsey also brings in some industrial rock elements, as well as a bit of pop punk in places too. However, it is not just sonically that Halsey pushes the boundaries but also thematically as well, using the album’s concept to press the issue of feminism and misogyny within the lyrics. Arguably what’s most striking about this record though is how tightly constructed everything is here – under the watchful eye of Reznor and Ross, the dramatic production is inch-perfect.
Most importantly, the songs here are just fantastic, from the religious imagery and glistening synths that lace the wonderful melody of Bells of Santa Fe, to the raw, grungy guitars of You asked for this. There’s also the atmospheric piano ballad 1121, where Halsey really flexes her impressive vocal cords. Pulsating, stylish electro-pop single I am not a woman, I’m a god is another standout. Once you have been amazed by all of this, the gentle plucking and raindrop like xylophone of stunning closer Ya’aburnee arrives to really blow things away.
In a year packed full of outstanding pop records, Halsey has delivered, for my money, one of the best of the lot. With Reznor and Ross holding the reigns, they help Halsey deliver on her epic vision with both style and control. It’s one thing to attempt a record like this, it’s another thing to pull it off as expertly and vibrantly as this – hats off for this one!
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Screen Violence by CHVRCHES
Also delivering their fourth album this week was Scottish synth-pop group CHVRCHES who, whilst predominantly maintaining their vintage sound, have lyrically pushed themselves into darker territory on this new record. Probably their finest work since their debut, frontwoman Lauren Mayberry takes no prisoners as she tackles sexism and misogyny, calling upon her own experiences within the industry to really illustrate the issues being put front and centre.
This is highlighted best on electric single Good Girls, a track Mayberry wrote “after listening to some friends arguing about the present-day implications of loving certain problematic male artists – I was struck by the lengths that people would go to in order to excuse their heroes and how that was so juxtaposed to my own experiences in the world.”
Other highlights include He Said She Said, a glistening synth-driven pop banger that’s contrasted against razor-sharp lyrics with a defiant message at its core – catchy, but also powerful and thought-provoking. There’s also the superb collaboration with The Cure legend Robert Smith, How Not to Drown, which is a moody, atmospheric, and synth-soaked belter of a track. Although it is incredible right the way through, the real spine-tingling moment comes during the song’s outro thanks to the ghostly vocals of Smith being cast over some hauntingly melodic guitars. Outside of the singles, the rawness of heartbreaking closer Better If You Don’t leaves the biggest impression.
All in all, this album ranks amongst their best work and although it may not be quite as dramatic or impressionable as Halsey’s album, there’s still plenty to which you’ll want to digest and ultimately keep returning.
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How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? By Big Red Machine
The National’s Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon have certainly kept themselves busy over lockdown. It seems they weren’t satisfied with just taking Taylor Swift’s music to incredible new heights on 2020’s folklore and evermore, as they have now also released their second album under their Big Red Machine guise. The most noticeable thing about this second record is that the duo have extended their collaboration further this time around, bringing in renowned artists such as Ben Howard, Sharon Van Etten, Lisa Hannigan and Fleet Foxes, as well as two more collaborations with Miss Swift herself.
Given the talent involved, it is no surprise that this makes for a really special and stunning collection of songs. There’s wonderful electro-folk track Mimi, which sees singer-songwriter Ilsey Juber join Justin Vernon on lead vocal duties. Phoenix sees Robin Pecknold of Fleet Foxes and Anaïs Mitchell join in for a wonderful, horn-backed number. This track in fact isn’t the only time Anaïs Mitchell steals the show, as her beautiful, soothing vocal performances on opener Latter Days and closer New Auburn arguably provide the two best moments of the entire album.
The two tracks with Taylor Swift are also fantastic, with Renegade offering a sweet, pop cut that wouldn’t be out of place on either of Swift’s last two records. The better of the two though is Birch, a piano-driven, string-tinged ballad which sees Swift simply providing back-up vocals to Vernon’s haunting folky croons. It’s stunning and possibly my new favourite collaboration between the three artists.
Ultimately this is just a superb album, with Dessner and Vernon thriving alongside their chosen collaborators for a collection of songs that will frequently both move and astound you.
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Donda by Kanye West
Easily the most talked about album of the week, after several launch events and many, many delays, Kanye West finally released his long-awaited tenth studio album, Donda. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of excessive, bloated albums, so with Donda clocking in at almost 2 hours long it was always going to struggle to win me over.
As expected, this is another West project that struggles with inconsistency, with moments of brilliance balanced out with plenty of moments that ultimately underwhelm. Although it has more high points than Ye and the production is more polished than Jesus Is King, there is no track as good as Ghost Town and sonically I found it less inspired than Jesus Is King in many ways. I’m not sure just yet if this is indeed the worst West album, but it is certainly down there in the bottom half for me.
That said, there are still some great moments to be found here. Once you get passed the massively irritating Donda Chant opener (honestly, so painful!), the Jay-Z featuring Jail offers an anthemic rock-influenced gem to get the album started properly. From there The Weeknd featuring Hurricane, the Lauryn Hill sampling Believe What I Say, the heavenly melody of Kid Cudi feature Moon and the organ-backed closer No Child Left Behind provide some of the other highlights. However possibly the finest moment comes in the form of Jesus Lord, a 9-minute epic that sees West deliver some of his best bars in years, returning to the social-consciousness that made him a star in the first place.
If you are a fan of West’s recent gospel-influenced work, then this album will reward you for your patience if you stick with it. For me, although there are some moments I enjoyed, the length was just too much, with this album having the same inconsistency problem that The Life of Pablo had but without reaching the same heights as that album did when it was at its best. Disappointing, but still somewhat worthwhile.
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The Awesome Album by Mouse Rat
And finally on the albums front, if like me you are a big Parks & Recreation fan, you’ll be pleased to hear that Chris Pratt’s fictional band from the show, Mouse Rat, have finally released their debut album this week. Featuring classics such as 5,000 Candle In The Wind and The Pit, this one is a lot of fun for fans of the show.
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Tracks of the Week
Good Ones by Charli XCX
Coming off the back of the definitive lockdown album How I’m Feeling Now that earned her both a Mercury Prize nomination and a place in my Top 5 albums of 2020, Charli XCX has returned with a new synth-driven banger that packs in an insanely catchy hook and wonderful 80s vibes.
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Family Ties by Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar
Also making his return this week was King Kendrick who delivered a fantastic new collaboration with his cousin Baby Keem. Over a brilliant horn-driven beat, the two family members go toe-to-toe and bar-to-bar across this concise hip-hop banger.
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Alone by Rag N Bone Man & Nothing But Thieves
A remix of a track from Rory Graham’s latest album Life By Misadventure, this version sees Conor Mason of Nothing But Thieves join in on vocals, along with some triumphant rock production that replaces the stripped back nature of the album cut.
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Spirit Power & Soul by Johnny Marr
The brilliant first track from his forthcoming new EP, Spirit Power & Soul finds legendary guitarist Johnny Marr in fine form, sonically calling back to his days with Bernard Sumner in Electronic. Built on a masterful central riff, pulsating synths and a big anthemic chorus, it’s a belter!
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Nothing Else Matters by Chris Stapleton
And finally this week, we’ve had plenty of great, unique covers of Nothing Else Matters by Metallica already this year, with Miley Cyrus and Phoebe Bridgers already offering their own take on the classic song. However, I’ve always got time for another and this 8-minute epic from country singer Chris Stapleton is just as dazzling, thanks to some amazing bluesy guitars and his textured vocal performance.
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#halsey#if i cant have love i want power#trent reznor#atticus ross#nine inch nails#kanye west#donda#chvrches#screen violence#big red machine#justin vernon#aaron dessner#taylor swift#johnny marr#rag n bone man#nothing but thieves#mouse rat#parks and recreation#kendrick lamar#baby keem#chris stapleton#metallica#new music#best new music#album of the week#tracks of the week#album recommendation
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Chris Brown may have a smile that makes a Colgate exec melt and dance like Michael Jackson’s ghost is his choreographer, but if the lyrics to the recently released freestyle to Kanye West’s “Theraflu” are indeed about Rihanna, there’s a jerk factor still lingering there that needs immediate fixing.
Last week, the R&B star tweeted the track and immediately after he did many suspected that he took thinly veiled shots at his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna, whom he notoriously beat in 2009. The lyrics in question are: “Don’t f–k with my old bitch, it’s like a bad fur/ Every industry n—- done had her/ Shook the tree like a pumpkin just to smash her/ B*tch is breaking codes, but I’m the password.”
Mind you, this is coming from the person with chastity-belt bangers like “Strip” currently blanketing radio…who also beat Rihanna brutally just three years ago. THIS PERSON feels he can make a reasoned judgment about her sexual behavior.
After the song was posted, some noticed that he was unfollowed by Rihanna, who tweeted indirectly “Aw, poor dat #neaux1currr.” In response, Chris wrote via Twitter, “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about.”
Reverse psychology: everything ain’t for everybody.
As much as I’d like to escape these two and the remnants of their relationship, their collective knack for spectacle makes them unavoidable to anyone who makes a living around writing about pop culture. If nothing else, this latest instance allows me to point out an increasingly annoying criticism made about Rihanna that reeks of a double standard. Chris Brown may not be beating Rihanna anymore, but if this is true – and it doesn’t require a great leap to conclude so based on the indirect back-and-forth – he is still very much trying to hurt her only in the way of slut-shaming.
And apparently, he’s not the only person Rihanna’s dealt with that’s trying to diss her in such despicable fashion.
Though it’s harder to peg, Drake was suspected of also trying to soil Rihanna’s reputation by alleging that she sleeps around in the 2 Chainz track, “No Lie.”
Drake raps: “She came through, she brought food / She got f—ed, she knew wassup / She think I’m the realest out / And I say ‘Damn, that makes two of us’ / Oh that look like what’s her name / Chances are it is what’s her name / Chances are, if she was acting up / Then I f—ed her once and never f—ed again / She could have a Grammy, I still treat that a- like a nominee / Just need to know what that p—- like so one time, it’s fine with me.”
What a funny, funny comment for a guy with a well-noted affinity for strippers and casual sex to make. Not to mention someone who a journalist claimed had hit on her during an interview – I suppose after one too many of those wine spritzers he loves. And yes, Drake did publicly complain in an interview not two years ago that Rihanna had loved him and left him feeling like the girls to whom he had done the same.
In response to those tracks, Russell Simmons wrote a piece entitled “Get Off Rihanna’s D*ck,” arguing that he’s seen many men in the recording industry indulge in the same habits Rihanna’s only rumored to be doing – without any of the consequences to her public image, naturally. But perhaps Chris and Aubrey don’t need to “get off Rihanna’s d*ck” so much as they need to look down at theirs first and think about all the activities their pieces have engaged in before they decide to brand someone else as loose — regardless of who she is.
Meanwhile, as for everyone else so fixated on this notion that there’s a problem with the way Rihanna carries herself and brought this attention on herself: grow up. She could have Mother Teresa’s sex life and would bring about the “starlet or streetwalker” debate from any man with a certain attitude about women and sex.
To “slut shame” is to perpetuate the idea that sex is dirty, and in particular, dirty and dangerous for a woman. That rigid mindset is problematic as it is unrealistic and does little in the way of advancing the way we discuss consensual sex between adults. You know, any day now.
To that end, the sooner you realize that this attitude hurts men and women in varying instances, the quicker you’ll see what’s wrong with Chris Brown and Drake’s shortsighted shade.
Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer currently based in Los Angeles. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick
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The Top 20 Things of 2019
1. “Shallow” at The Oscars How can something be so anticipated, so hyped, so seemingly bigger than the freaking Oscars themselves, and yet still somehow exceed all expectations? We now know the answer: by completely subverting them. That’s why it makes perfect sense that the greatest moment of Lady Gaga’s career would be the simplest one. Her and Bradley Cooper simply standing up from their seats still gives me chills every time I watch it (and I’ve watched it A LOT). And the close up on their faces needs to be shown in sex ed classes.
If I could travel back in time, sure going back to kill baby Hitler would be great, but mostly I’d just want to go back to the exact second the curtain starts to raise on this performance, before I knew where it was headed next.
2. Olivia Colman winning Best Actress at The Oscars If you think it’s weird that there are two separate things from the same awards show on my list of the top things from the entire year, then, well, you’ve come to the wrong place.
This is the absolute platonic ideal of someone winning an Oscar. Our genuine shock at hearing their name, THEIR genuine shock at hearing their name, the genuine emotion from everyone involved, a speech that is heartfelt, human, funny, and charming in a way that only a true star could ever dream of being, all in equal measure. And it’s all part of a YouTube clip you can watch endlessly and find new things every time. (Glenn Close’s reaction when she loses is like an entire drama in and of itself.) Sure awards shows may be dumb, but then also, this is why they’re not.
3. Sharon Van Etten - “Seventeen” in advance of this year’s Oscars I just want to be on record that my favorite movie from 2019 about aging, feeling that life is passing you by, grappling with mortality, the passage of time, and the generation coming up behind you is Closing My Eyes And Listening To “Seventeen” By Sharon Van Etten. It has it all: the creeping melancholy and regret, the sense of doom that you try to dance away, the feeling that the past was maybe just a dream, the urge to yell into an increasingly uncaring void.
Part of the curse of aging is everyone becoming their own Casandra. Now you know, but no one will listen. And part of the joy of aging is realizing it doesn’t really matter if they do.
4. The writing on Succession
“Proof that, as long as the writing is there, TV doesn’t need to be anything more than people having conversations in rooms.” - theringer.com
I have a rule with these year end lists that I can’t feature something I’ve listed in a previous year. But it’s actually illegal to write about the best of 2019 without mentioning Succession. So I’m going to get around my self-imposed rule by this year specifically highlighting the writing on the show.
The amazing thing about Succession is how watchable it is not despite, but almost BECAUSE of the fact that not much actually happens. People talk a lot about things they are GOING to do, or MIGHT do, but there’s not a ton of actual DOING. And that’s actually great, because what we’re really here for is the talking. Every character talks with the biting wit of an Armando Iannucci character, the deep intelligence of an Aaron Sorkin character, and the realism of an actual human being. I find myself constantly rewinding just to make sure I took in the brilliance of each dialogue exchange. And literally every line Kieran Culkin is given to say would be the best line of the entire season on 90% of the shows on TV.
Everyone talks about how great the acting on Succession is, and rightly so, but actors are nothing without good words to say. And on Succession, to paraphrase a president of the United States that I’m sure ACN would love, they have the best words.
5. The chemistry of Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein in Booksmart My favorite movie of 2017 was Lady Bird. My favorite movie of 2018 was Eighth Grade. So suffice it to say I was well prepared for how much I loved Booksmart. But what I was not prepared for at all was the incredible chemistry of two actors I had previously never even heard of before: Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein. It feels impossible that the two of them aren’t real-life best friends. Life-long friendship is such a specific bond it feels impossible to fake, and yet somehow Kaitlyn and Beanie pulled the magic trick off. Experiencing the giddy contact high of their chemistry felt like being in the presence of a miracle. And anyone who says the romantic comedy is dead clearly didn’t see Booksmart, because maybe the best romantic comedy of the decade was the story of two people realizing the deepest, purest, most unique love of all can sometimes be the love you have for your best friend.
6. Fleabag Season 2 What on earth is there left to say about Fleabag that hasn’t already been said? And yet somehow even with all the discourse about this show it has still maintained its status as the rare cultural phenomenon with a 100% approval rating. To be as massive and as beloved as Fleabag and yet inspire zero backlash, not even a stray contrarian take from an online troll, feels impossible, and yet also, in the case of Fleabag, totally right. If (the now VERY problematic) Louie was the beginning of giving people money to make their idiosyncratic, personal, not-quite a drama not-quite a comedy TV shows, then Fleabag is the end. The apex of the art form. There’s nowhere to go from here but down. 2019 was the year television finally peaked. It was the year we all witnessed perfection. And it was the year that we fittingly all had a priest to guide us there.
7. Chelsea Peretti’s monologue at the WGA Awards Ironic that the year that proved that awards shows don’t need hosts is also the same year that gave maybe the best example ever of what a great awards show host can do. Chelsea goes so far inside baseball it gives new meaning to the phrase “corker”, and it’s all the better for it.
8. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride If you don’t think Father of the Bride is the best album of 2019 then congrats on not being a late-30s straight white man. But as a late-30s straight white man myself I’ve got two big things going for me:
1.) A life that has benefited from a history of privilege and near-total control over society stretching from the beginnings of civilization up until today 2.) An understanding that Father of the Bride is the best album of 2019
But what about Bon Iver and Wilco and The National and Sturgill Simpson and Big Thief, didn’t they all put out albums for late-30s straight white men this year you ask? To which I say: did any of those albums have a song on them called “Unbearably White”? No they did not! And that sort of ironic self-awareness is the kind of shit that has fueled a million straight white male sketch comedy scenes. It is the air we breathe. Also, have you heard “Harmony Hall” lately? Or “This Life”? Or “Stranger”? I mean, come on, leaving Brooklyn to make your “settled down in LA” album is the sort of late-30s straight white guy catnip James Murphy could only DREAM ABOUT. I may not have much these days, other than unlimited power and privilege, but at least I will always have Vampire Weekend, and they will always have me.
9. Lizzo Every year there is one thing that defines the year. One thing that 50 years in the future when someone mentions that year, it will be the first thing that pops into everyone’s head. And in America for 2019 that thing will be the impeachment of Donald Trump. But if there is a second thing, then it’s Lizzo. She was there when the year started, only got bigger as the year progressed and was arguably still getting more popular as the year ended. And she was everywhere. She was on massive stages and behind tiny desks. She was at the movies, she was on TV, she was coming out of every open car window. And she was definitely at every wedding you went to this year. Lizzo WAS 2019.
With the impeachment of Donald Trump I don’t know how far down the presidential line of succession we have to go before we get to Lizzo, but I know we would all be better off if we would hurry up and get there. Lizzo is the best of us.
10. This picture of Baby Yoda
Ok I was wrong. Take everything I said about Lizzo and double it for This Picture Of Baby Yoda (you know the one, or if you don’t, click the link above). On the wikipedia entry for the year 2019 that definitely needs to be the picture.
11. Kodi Lee on America’s Got Talent I realize you probably weren’t sitting around watching America’s Got Talent this summer. I certainly wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t happened to be working the live show tapings. But lemme tell you, if you didn’t see the show, you missed out on something truly magical this year. Something that makes you rethink what human beings are capable of. Something that goes so far beyond inspirational that I don’t think our language has a word to fully express it. Kodi Lee is a real life superhero, and provoking emotion is his superpower. Making it thru a full Kodi Lee performance without crying should be the new Turning Test. Forget America; Humans Have Talent indeed.
12. Taylor Swift - “Cruel Summer” Look I didn’t expect to ever find another “Teenage Dream”, but, well, here we are. I mean, a Taylor Swift single produced by Jack Antonoff and co-written by Annie Clark is pretty much genetically engineered to be one of my favorite things ever, but still: wow. Do the kids still use the term “banger”? Because if so, this is why the term was invented. I would have more to say about how great the rest of Lover is as well, but sorry, I gotta go now. I have to listen to “Cruel Summer” for the eight millionth time.
13. Michelle Williams in Fosse/Verdon If there was an award for best acting performance in any medium this would be the clear winner for 2019. In fact, can you win an EGOT for one single performance? What about a Nobel Prize? I can’t come up with an award or a title big enough to truly honor Michelle Williams’ work in Fosse/Verdon.
As a fellow actor very rarely a performance will come along that will make me think: ok we’re done here. Let’s all the rest of us pack it up and go home, because someone just won acting. This is one of those performances. So congrats to Dame Michelle Williams, you’re the new Pope.
14. American Factory My favorite line in all of Shakespeare is “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”. And nothing is evidence of that more than the piece of art I have thought about most this year: the documentary American Factory (available on Netflix right now!). So many of the things we in western societies believe are universal bedrock virtues and value are in fact simply products of the society in which we were raised. Individualism, personal expression, autotomy, the importance of leisure time, and so many other things, are not absolute human values, only relative ones. What is important to someone in America, can be ridiculous and incomprehensible to someone in China. And vice versa. And neither side is right or wrong, only thinking makes it so.
American Factory is documentary that doesn’t say WHAT IF EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW WAS WRONG, but instead shows something that is perhaps even more powerful: what if everything you know is simply just that, a thing you know.
15. White Claw Life is an endless parade of infinite options, possibilities, and choices. So I have no idea how you personally chose to spend your 2019. With one exception: I Know What You Did Last Summer. You drank an alcoholic seltzer water. Probably many of them, but at least one. At a park, at a beach, in a backyard, definitely at a party. If at some point this summer your paws weren’t wrapped around a White Claw (or a similar product) then you didn’t actually experience 2019. Because this is the year we all collectively got obsessed with combining America’s two hottest drink trends: flavored sparkling water and…hold on, lemme look up the name of this stuff…alcohol?
History may record summer 2019 as Hot Girl Summer, but those us who actually lived it know the truth: it was Hard Seltzer Summer
16. Marriage Story A movie that fundamentally misunderstands things I care about deeply - theater, Los Angeles, how the entertainment industry works - is my favorite movie of the year because of how deeply it gets right the thing I care about most: human beings. The way we talk, the way we behave, the way we love, the way we hurt, the way we create bonds that never fully go away. It’s been said a lot, but part of the beauty and magic of this movie is that it doesn’t take sides. Both people are right and both of them are wrong. And that’s how human relationships often work in real life, but rarely in art. There are no heroes, there are no villains; there’s only being alive.
(Also, Adam Driver, Imma let you finish, but Raul Esparza doing “Being Alive” is one of my favorite YouTube clips of ALL TIME. If you ever need to weep uncontrollably and you don’t have time to watch Marriage Story, then Raul Esparza’s “Being Alive” will do the trick)
17. Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road” “What kind of music do you like” used to be a very important question. Your sense of identity used to be defined by the type of music you listened to and what that choice said about you. But now music-as-cultural-signifier is as dead as the concept of owning music itself. Rap music is for elementary school kids. Country music is made by queer black Americans collaborating with Dutch teenagers. Billy Ray Cyrus and Korean pop stars appear on remixes of the same song. A song about an old road and an antiquated mode of travel becomes a massive hit thru the brand new music app TikTok. What kind of music do we like in 2019? All of the “kinds” of music at once, in one marvelously inescapable two minute burst of joy. Music is dead; long live music.
18. Chernobyl If you thought it was crazy that the year’s biggest song was a novelty country/hip-hop track by an unsigned artist rapping about trying to find parking for his horse, then wait until you find out what the summer’s biggest hit TV show was about! I mean, nothing screams “summer fun” like nuclear radiation and shooting dogs. But as always, no one ever truly knows what people will want until you give it to them. And clearly what we really wanted in our LOL Nothing Matters age was a captivating reminder that life on earth truly could end at any moment. Some things very much DO matter. And that something as dramatic, devastating, and consequential as Chernobyl could have happened in the fairly recent past and already have been largely forgotten about is incredible. But if you can take such a compelling story and tell it as well as the makers of Chernobyl did, then people will watch and learn and better understand an issue of vital importance, no matter how seemingly uncommercial it might be. So in a very 2019 sentence: thank you creator of the the Hangover franchise for your miniseries about a 1980 Russian power plant explosion. It was our collective summer obsession. (2019 was a weird year.)
19. Raphael Bob-Waksberg - Someone Who Will Love You In All You Damaged Glory
“I think about how loving someone is kind of like being president, in that it doesn’t change you, not really. But it brings out more of the you that you already are.”
Back in the day, Raphael Bob-Waksberg had a tumblr that was so good it both single-handedly inspired me get much better and writing my thoughts and putting them on the internet (thus what you are reading right now) and intimidated me out of doing it more often (why I now do this only once a year). In fact, I’m almost positive I had his tumblr listed as one of my top things of a year in the past, which is really the highest honor a tumblr account can receive. It was one of the single most impactful forces in the direction of my creative life. And now Raphael has taken the voice that created that tumblr and created my favorite TV show (BoJack Horseman) and wrote my favorite ever Craigslist post, and used it to create a book about love and loss and being human. And it feels like a wonderful treasure that was written just for me. It IS my worldview, expressed better than I ever possibly could. When I meet people now rather than doing the usual introductory small talk I am just going to hand them a copy of this book.
20. The New One - Mike Birbiglia Speaking of art that felt deeply personal to me…just hearing even a rough outline of the story Mike Birbiglia tells in The New One was enough to start me on a path of perhaps reconsidering one of my most deeply held beliefs. By talking about parenthood in a refreshingly honest and shockingly open way, he is able to possibly change lives. I know finally actually seeing the show in person (and it’s now available on Netflix) felt like a possible turning point in mine. Is it theater? Is it standup? Does it matter? Here’s what there are no questions about: it’s hilarious and deeply felt and perfectly constructed. It’s an absolute master class in story telling. And it’s my favorite thing I saw this year.
#Lizzo#Old Town Road#Fleabag#mike birbiglia#raphael bob-waksberg#chernobyl#succession#white claw#marriage story#Cruel Summer#American Factory#Oscars#Shallow#Kodi Lee#Vampire Weekend#Baby Yoda#Michelle Williams#booksmart#kaitlyn dever#beanie feldstein#sharon van etten
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1-100 TELL ME ALL
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Jesse
2. How old are you?
22
3. When is your birthday?
dec 9
4. What is your zodiac sign?
sagittarius
5. What is your favorite color?
purples
6. What’s your lucky number?
9
7. Do you have any pets?
no
8. Where are you from?
bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia
9. How tall are you?
5 something
10. What shoe size are you?
7?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 that i actually use
12. What was your last dream about?
i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post
13. What talents do you have?
i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline
14. Are you psychic in any way?
well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there
15. Favorite song?
for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours
16. Favorite movie?
spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much
18. Do you want children?
not RIGHT NOW
19. Do you want a church wedding?
i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.
20. Are you religious?
yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
i got a parking ticket
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them
24. Baths or showers?
showers.
25. What color socks are you wearing?
alien socks that are green and black
26. Have you ever been famous?
no. what does that even mean !!!!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them
28. What type of music do you like?
stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin
32. How big is your house?
BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
HELL no.
35. Have you ever tried archery?
in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.
36. Favorite clean word?
i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.
37. Favorite swear word?
bitch. its really fun to say.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.
39. Do you have any scars?
yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
i believe so...
41. Are you a good liar?
yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents
44. Do you have a strong accent?
i dont know how to answer this
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them
46. What is your personality type?
that.... INFJ. see. psychic
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
one of the gay jackets
48. Can you curl your tongue?
dont think so
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right handed?
left
51. Are you scared of spiders?
depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free
52. Favorite food?
tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish
53. Favorite foreign food?
idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
clean
55. Most used phrased?
“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot
56. Most used word?
I
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min
58. Do you have much of an ego?
i do, but i hide it.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.
60. Do you talk to yourself?
yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work
61. Do you sing to yourself?
nah
62. Are you a good singer?
no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.
63. Biggest Fear?
someone dying, natural disaster, new illness
64. Are you a gossip?
maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those
66. Do you like long or short hair?
BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.
68. Favorite school subject?
ART ART AR T
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introerverte
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
people who are not Definitely Cheerful
72. Are you scared of the dark?
no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL
74. Are you ticklish?
depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......
77. Have you ever drank underage?
no
78. Have you ever done drugs?
no
79. Who was your first real crush?
someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE
80. How many piercings do you have?
two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
hell yes
82. How fast can you type?
so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast
83. How fast can you run?
IM VERY FAST
84. What color is your hair?
orange
85. What color is your eyes?
green
86. What are you allergic to?
im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives
87. Do you keep a journal?
yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures
88. What do your parents do?
my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky
89. Do you like your age?
sure
90. What makes you angry?
everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.
91. Do you like your own name?
YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
yeah, i want a boy a girl
94. What are you strengths?
my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles
95. What are your weaknesses?
the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea
96. How did you get your name?
i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school
98. Do you have any scars?
weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon
99. Color of your bedspread?
pink, white, blue
100. Color of your room?
white
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The 16 Best Taylor Swift Songs to Listen to
It's hard to believe Taylor Swift has been famous for over a decade now—a staggering level of fame that has seen gossip, girl squads, and high-profile relationships come and go. Known for her narrative songwriting, Swift boasts a massive discography broken up into "eras" by her loyal fan base. From her early country beginnings to the dark pop of 2017's Reputation, here are the 16 best Taylor Swift songs.
1
"All Too Well"
Widely considered to be her magnum opus, "All Too Well" tells the cautionary tale of a romance gone terribly wrong. Listeners follow Swift and her lover (feverishly theorized to be Jake Gyllenhaal) as she paints a picture of domestic upstate bliss devastated by a breakup. The nearly six-minute track peaks halfway through, when Swift unravels and drops the line: "You call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest." It's dramatic, hyper-specific, and gut-wrenching: Taylor at her finest.
2
"Our Song"
If any song sparks joy, the third single from Swift's eponymous debut album is it. Full of charming lyrics with an equally delightful music video (The tulle! The roses! The makeup and curls!), "Our Song" is a showy display of her burgeoning superstardom.
3
"Blank Space"
Described by Swift as an answer to the media's "psycho serial dater" narrative, "Blank Space" boasts lyrics like, "Got a long list of ex lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane," and "Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream." Gone are the sweetly wide-eyed love songs: "Blank Space" is 100 percent biting cynicism.
4
"Enchanted"
An epic love song about the magical moment you first meet someone, "Enchanted" is wistful, dramatic, angsty, and...about Owl City's Adam Young??? Who later covered the song and professed his mutual enchantment???? But literally NOTHING came of it???????? I still have so many questions. It also launched one of her fandom's most beloved memes.
5
"Tim McGraw"
Taylor's debut single is an ode to the songs that transport us back in time. No wonder it cemented her status on country radio—the track bears the same name as country music megastar Tim McGraw, a ballsy and genius move for the then-newcomer.
6
"Last Kiss"
Whomst among us has not cried over their ex to "Last Kiss?" The tune is simple, with each loaded lyric sung in clipped phrases until Swift hits the drawn-out bridge: "I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep / I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe." Oof.
7
"Holy Ground"
The song that should've been a single but never was, "Holy Ground" opens with driving drums and the word vomit "I-was-reminiscing-just-the-other-day-while-having-coffee-all-alone-and-Lord-it-took-me-away," making it hard not to get swept up in Taylor's relationship nostalgia.
8
"You Belong With Me"
Unrequited love and high school pretty much go hand in hand, as illustrated in this Swift classic. There's something freeing about the melody that makes you want to sing it at the top of your lungs. One listen to the pleading lyrics "Why can't you seeeeee? You belong with meeeee," and suddenly it's 2009. Ah, simpler times!
9
"Shake It Off"
"My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she's like 'Oh my god,' but I'm just gonna shake." That lyric? Could move mountains.
10
"Red"
Our songstress takes her favorite lip color and applies it to a whirlwind romance that's like "driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street." The bouncy tune is a bit coy, a bit romantic, and a full-on banger.
11
"The Way I Loved You"
Hidden on Fearless is this sleeper hit about dating a perfectly nice boy who turns out to be, well, boring as hell. Instead, an unimpressed Taylor daydreams about her ex and their batshit-cray romance of yesteryear, singing, "I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain." "Rollercoaster kind of rush," indeed.
12
"Style"
Pop legends Max Martin, Shellback, and Ali Payami join forces with Swift on this moody disco track. The impeccable production is backed by flirty lyrics like, "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt." After some back and forth ("I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl," she accuses; "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking about you," he admits), Swift throws caution to the wind with the "Take me home" coda.
13
"Picture to Burn"
The banjo! The country accent! The problematic lyrics that were thankfully changed! And who could forget the wonderfully terrible acting in this music video, featuring Taylor's IRL BFF Abigail Anderson.
14
"Delicate"
New relationships are a balancing act: You weigh how much you like someone against the real possibility of it all blowing up in your face. The stakes are high, and Swift knows that: "Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate. Isn't it?"
15
"Wildest Dreams"
I live for The Drama™ and nothing is more Drama™ than the heartbeat intro, string orchestra, and old-glamour vibes of "Wildest Dreams." Makes me want to stand in a nice dress/stare at a sunset real bad.
16
"You Are in Love"
Bleachers’ Jack Antonoff helped out on this bonus track from 1989 (which is reportedly inspired by ex-girlfriend Lena Dunham). Swift sings about a relationship that’s stable and sure—a contrast from her previous stormy love songs. Focusing on details like “The light reflects the chain on your neck” and “He keeps a picture of you in his office downtown,” Taylor reminds us it’s the little things that can make us fall for a person.
ts1989fanatic did your favourite make the list, mine did my #1 Taylor song came in at #15
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