#probably won't be posting much still cause I'm playing in a musical

[da-toaster]

He he hiii... Happy new year and all that crap. Its been a rough few months, but I come bearing lesbians

[luvyuki0]

Amber ── .✦01.

✦ Summary: In which Esme and Hoseok fall in love but of course with love comes trouble especially when you're dating an idol.

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"JUST SHUT UP! PLEASE!" Her cries echoed throughout the house, covering her ears as she laid on the floor. She couldn't deal with it anymore, the constant gaslighting and the mental abuse was getting to the point where it was too much. "I should've listened when they warned me, but nah I ignored them 'cause my dumbass didn't know any better, cutting the people I loved off FOR YOU! just so that you could be happy, for us to be happy!" She screamed while crying. He stood there confused as if he didn't know why she was crying, as if he wasn't the reason her mental health depleted and still is. when she finally looked up at him all that could be seen in her face was disgust. Disgust with they were he was looking and acting towards her over the years. "You know what I'm done with this bullshit." She got up wiping her tears, leaving the male's apartment ignoring all sounds and stares she received. All she could think about was why she never realized sooner......



. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Esme's POV:

        "Should I be doing this right now?" Biting my fingers anxiously as my decorated camera sat on my bed. I knew I would have to come back to making YouTube videos eventually,as it was all I knew and I would be nothing without it and my subscribers. I just never expected it to feel so foreign to me. Honestly I don't even know if I'm ready to get back but I know many of my fans miss me, and of course theres some who thought I'd be gone for good, and honestly I don't blame them for that knowing I did take a 6-month break with no heads up, not only on YouTube but on all my social media platforms, kinda like I just disappeared but if not now then  when?

I sigh grabbing my camera and turning it to start recording. "Hey guys! I know it's been a while and y'all are probably wondering where I've been, what I've been doing and more some of y'all were right and I did break up with Rome but I'm not gonna go into full details about it, cause I'm not ready yet when I am though you guys will know the full story and understand why I took a break but lemme not ruin the mood it's a time of comebacks and celebration! now I am going to get back on my routine, posting weekly and spamming my socials!" As I speak, I can just feel some of the weight I've been holding on being lifted off my chest.

I clasp my hands together before I continue talking. "To be honest with y'all I wasn't even going to start recording again this soon, but Jazmine and her Lil boo invited me and one of his friends to a trip to Hawaii!!! Like y'all don't understand how hyped I am right now! Like I may regret this later but who am I to say no to a trip to Hawaii." I shrug my shoulders jokingly.

"I didn't plan much for this video honestly, but I did want this video and the Hawaii flight video to be separate, and since I and Jaz are going tomorrow imma drop COCO off at my mom's, and hopefully jaz is gonna be home by the time I get back so we can pack together and hopefully make some cute matching fits." I explain to my viewers what I have planned for the day though it wasn't much. (A/N: coco is the name of her Pomeranian I didn't put her in the characters cus she wouldn't be mentioned much💀)

"Come here coco! Y'all why he tryna act like he dont know mee! get a hold of Coco who was trying to run away, I grab my keys, slip on my slides, and lock my door, leaving my apartment complex as I make my way to my car.

I prop my camera on my dashboard, so it won't fall, and put on Apple Music to play "Normal Girl". "As always y'all we're gonna stop by Starbucks so I can try a drink I saw going viral on TikTok then I'll head over to my mom's house to drop coco off." I look back at coco than at my camera as I speaking

"So, this is the drink I got and y'all already know I had to get my grilled cheese! Tew good." I showcase my order to my camera as I get the drink and my grilled cheese sandwich. I eat and drink my order as I make my way over to my mom's house.

I get there and ring the doorbell repeatedly to which she opens the door. "Esme gimme the damn dog so I can go back to sleep too damn early for this shit" she speaks groggily with an attitude.

"It's actually one though...and I don't even get a hello wooow" I joke with her knowing we were on the phone last night.

"Esme quit playin' with me and give me the damn dog."

"Damn here, Bye coco bye mama." I hand her coco and walk back to my car hearing her hum bye back.

"Ok so now that I dropped Coco off imma just head back home and hopefully Jaz is back so we can pack together." I talk to my camera as I start driving back home. . . . . .

I finally get back, unlocking my door to see Jaz in the kitchen getting a snack. "Oh, hey Esme" she turns and greets me.

"Hey sweetheart, did u have fun with your Lil boo," I ask with a smirk.

"Girl yes I have to fill you in on literally everything so fir-".

I cut her off before she started ranting on about what she and Yoongi did. "Before you even start let's pack while you tell me what y'all did because I know you ain't start yet and I know you gon be talking for a good minute. "

"You right" she laughs knowing what I said was true.

We both go into my room and start packing for the trip tomorrow.

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A/N: I edited this chapter WAYY more than the second time and I'm actually happy with the beginning chapter and I made this chapter before the whole Starbucks boycott  so that's why they were mentioned I DO NOT SUPPORT them at all not even to the slightest degree

Please like and comment 🙏🏾

— 1089 words —

[the-burd-lord]

Playing around with Alastor’s design a little bit. He would still wear most of the same outfit he wore back then, don't fix what's not broken, but with an added suit jacket that's a bit too big for him. I need to make a bit of to at some point, but after his break up he draws on a pencil mustache to add on to his emphasis of having a new appearance while still staying in his time.

A post depression mustache if you will.

As for some of his creepy aspects I'm cutting out the voodoo elements of his character, and instead using the uncanny and analog horror elements instead (I am a simple creature).

I need to actually remake the color pallets for him and old Vox, but essentially they both start off as black and white or with grey like colors, and gain new ones after they split up. Vox becomes more saturated and Alastor becomes sepiatone, as while it's more colorful it's still is reminiscent of the past.

Now time for some of the silly rivalry bits:

I’d image they would have casual debates on the radio and tv that would soon devolve into insults and eventually nothing but 30/50s slang and Creole French that would last for hours.

I need to finish writing this bit, but basically Charlie sees it as a good idea to go on Vox’s talk show to promote the hotel and herself. There’s some lil rivalry moments between Vox and Al, but ultimately Vox doesn’t fully let his grudges get in the way of hosting a good show.

Even though they mutually broke up they still each regret ending the relationship, and as such covey their loneliness in their respective mediums. Vox making sad, gay movies and being so worn out after that when he watches them he doesn’t even know what he made.

And Alastor having a late night audio story about a turtle and a hare going on adventures. There are times where he’ll just start describing crushing regret and isolation, and he’ll realize that he may have gone a bit far and try to steer it towards more of a happy ending with Vox listening in on all of it.

Something something relationship meme with a sketch I’ll probably never finish. Also surprising, but also not that surprising, to me that in "Stayed Gone" they didn't go with the obvious joke on what to call his late night talk show.

The grrls r fighting!! But for real this time.

Been playing with the idea of Vox turning into pure energy when he's overly stressed, or just becoming a weird robot creature as form he can take as an overlord. It's probably going to result in a lot of sketches where I 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 won't use Videodrome as inspiration (lie).

At some point I need to get a good animation program and just start making a bunch of animatics or animations cause I have so many song inspirations for these two.

Specifically one that I want to make a whole animation for is “(They Long to Be) Close to You.” Basically it’s just going to be them fighting interspersed with moments of them waltzing together. I think you can probably parse out the metaphors and connections I'm going for here.

Also me and a friend were talking about song inspirations and after I continually listened, watched, and worked (at least for me) on Hadestown we just replaced Hades with Vox in some of the songs.

🚨SPOILERS FOR HADESTOWN🚨

One stanza that I need to make an animatic for is in Chant Reprise, specifically 2:33-3:18 with the “I conduct the electric city” line.

This is going to become a bit of promotion for the show cause I love it so much. Probably my favorite musical ever! Also highly recommend listening to this version of "Chant," cause there’s a verse for Persephone and Eurydice that provide some cool reflections that reflect the original “Chant” in their verses.

There’s no direct references to any of the other characters, although you can add your own interpretations.

On that note here’s another song that reflects them. “How Long?” mainly with the “your pity won’t fit in my bed” lines, and when Hades and Persephone are actually singing to each other turning it into being about their relationship instead of the fates of Orpheus and Eurydice.

And a lil teaser for how they make up:

Will make another post about them. I have so many sketches WWHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T ESCAPE EITHER VERSION!!!!

[mikodrawnnarratives]

OK

Before I talk a LOT (I'm not joking, A LOT)

About this au, how I stumbled upon the idea, story and all in a rushed format,

APPRECIATE THIS

TOOK FOREVER

COMPLETELY out of my general comfort zone in art BUT OH WELL LOOK AT IT :DDDDDDDD

Also serves as a good hook for what this post is about mehehehehehehehe

CUT TO RAMBLINGS

Oh I have your attention?

Excellent.

It started with me thinking and wondering about a specific fic that is unrelated to this post, frankly different fandom, and I was wondering how it would play out in a movie format, but seeing as the fic in question currently is unfinished and won't be for a while I decided to direct my attention to other fandoms, got to DCA fandom, came up with a few cute ideas i didn't write down for unfinished fics, for the record I do think it would be interesting if Solar Lunacy was a musical just saying, and then I started to think about ok what fics ARE fini-

SLEUTH JESTERS HECK YEAH

Unfortunately at the moment I don't have any digital sketches to share for some of these points and the sketches I do have are pretty messy SO I'LL JUST RAMBLE cause I already wrote down a lot of these separately

Firstly, I imagine this kind of musical being in universe kind of au. Possibly an extension of the Actor AU where the original media (tv show? movie?) got so popular it got a musical adaptation

I imagine the actual music, whether the songs or just sound track, would be heavily inspired by Jazz or smthn. Like, the genre of music most popular during the time period Sleuth Jesters is in ish. It would still be musical-like but you can tell the genre they are going for

And before continuing, to get around not actually saying "y/n" on stage cause that might be a little awkward MAYBE there could be some kind of special sound affect for the actors mics that the audience knows is y/n's name?? Half baked tho

COSTUMES

Sun, Moon and Eclipse (at least) would have highly decorated masks to match the original just added onto because they are on stage. Masks, so that there are more options for who to cast. To make up for this, the actors have to make it clear in their body language to make up for lack of expression

in productions with higher budget mayhaps one function could be the eyes have options for what emotion they could express

In most productions there will be sound effects in the background that mimic the noise that Sun Moon and Eclipse make as they move. Or at least be incorporated into the sound track ooooo

Y/n's clothes would have an easy to notice difference in quality compared to the DCAs, which makes the bell and ribbons much more noticeable on stage

Smaller note but I think y/n's make up could be kind of fun with how they show the y and n on their face

Would probably have a wig colored various shades of silver but not required

FIRST SONG FIRST SONG FIRST SONG

Would be the introduction (of course) and depict the first chapter and likely have something to do with "Until Next Time". I think possibly it would have little breaks in the song to fit in the dialogue

Honestly, in an adaptation there might just be more scenes added between the earlier chapters to fill in points in time or smthn

OR (the answer I like better) The first act uses time between chapters to fill in reader watcher on backstories or past's of characters

Actually yeah little hints would be packed in the first half

Any other songs could be filled in for the boys or y/n that could have the potential to return as a Reprise

Now listen Mandatory Eclipse Villain song(s)

this is not optional

Duets Duets DUETS

One duet could be between characters that are foils or mirror each other but it's one of those duets that have different lyrics that still match up musically

Particularly I think the latter could be used for Sun and Moon's complicated relationship with Eclipse but not completely sure where that would be, probably second half, speaking of which...

ACT ONE ends in the chapter that Y/N has to return the favor to Eclipse, where he crashes the party and they go with him, reassuring Sun and Moon that they allways can wiggle out of situations

REPRISE OF THE FIRST SONGGGGGG

Until Next Time Reprise

Which will have a moment of silence after, showing their mutual understanding yet make it perfectly clear sun and moon don't want to do resort to this

Doesn't last to long as it proceeds with the sound track DROPPING in tone as Eclipse stuffs y/n into the car, that is actually just a prop that leads to the back stage

FADE TO BLACK INTERMISSION

ACT TWO (any major costume changes or forever hold your piece) I think would start off with Sun and Moon's dilemmas first before getting back to y/n

WHICH would likely cut to y/n maybe already in the burgundy shirt but meh that's not solid

I think the way Eclipse gives them the burgundy ribbon and bell could be changed in an adaptation of the story since it would be easier I imagine to show it later than in a car set piece

(Admittedly I have to reread these specific chapters to know specifically the order) But when Eclipse drops the bombshell he knows their past, and I think he leaves them alone for a bit after that, SONG TIME (though song could still happen with him there honestly)

Something similar to the theme "I thought I burned everything" and would just

And after that likely more backstory could be cut to depending on what it is and how relevant it is at that point. WOuld be much grimmer in tone but hey it's the second act.

Though if this opportunity is taken, this could be reprised later when Y/N proposes to the boys, with the necklaces to show being more comfortable with their past

More song opportunities with Y/N's trust issues, Sun and Moon's brother issues, etc

Final act-ish, where y/n first runs away after Sun and Moon "find out" and from there would have more focus on the score than any songs that could be fit into that small frame.

My thoughts went kind of to Heather's Dead Girl Walking Reprise and then Veronica and JD's tussle toward the end if songs got implemented there

AND OF COURSE The moment of Eclipse's death is really what makes me think this would be adapted into a musical in universe

Because it does kind of fit the bill for being tragic

You feel bad enough for what could have been

But also remember "Nah that bitch deserves it"

But also.. it's sad

PERFECT FOR MUSICAL ENDING

ish

After proposal, there is possibility to do a QUICK little glance into the future at the end, not unlike Dear Evan Hansen's ending, but maybe not

Ok now Applause section!!

Freddie and Gregory would bow together

I forgot to mention earlier, but the character that is revealed to be a spy for Eclipse at the police station I'd imagine would have hints on their clothing (like burgundy) that would foreshadow their side

Eclipse would bow by himself, flaunty as ever, yet you can still kind of tell the actor is kind of a sweetheart

Sun and Moon would enter, bow together and then welcome Y/n

Who would get to bow on their own, then with Sun and Moon

Then the rest of the cast is welcomed

How the arrangement would go from left to right I was thinking

Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds, Freddy, Gregory, Sun, Y/N, Moon, Eclipse, Michael, Other Aftons and Spy, rest of Law Enforcement and basic background cast making up crowds

AAAAAaaand thats what I've got.

@naffeclipse did you catch all of that?

and @sunnys-aesthetic for their detective au! :3

[gl00mur41]

hello twst tumblr... particularly those who enjoy idiavil... i don't know who to share these ideas with so i have decided to post them here.

the idiavil brainrot is constant. persistent. so is the twst brainrot in general but not a day will go by where i don't think about idiavil at least once. this has caused a whopping 21 different fics ideas to form in my brain. some i like a lot more than others and so i wanted to ramble about my favorites. these may eventually show up on my ao3 (EdgarAllanFruitbowl), possibly posted on here as well, but i'm kind of drowning in school work and just life in general so idk.

ANYWAYS!!! i have a few general fics i wld like to write (arcade date, mutual pining, ghost au) but i honestly have more oddly specific ideas.

first of all, a pokémon fic. i like the idea of them being in the pokémon canon universe, but the idea of a fic where idia just infodumps about pokémon and vil builds a team and they battle eachother... it tickles my brain right. i personally feel like vil would enjoy pokemon but idia would be more into it... i think vil enjoy stuff more like animal crossing and stardew valley. idk i just can't exactly picture him playing pokémon or the legend of zelda and enjoying it like idia would.

NEXT FIC IDEA. this is one of two mutual pining fics i have written down. it's less mutual pining, more idia being idia and vil just isn't sure how to feel about liking idia romantically. very specifically, i got the idea from won't say i'm in love from hercules. i ADORE that song, and it just feels super vil-coded to me. i mostly imagine the "muses" in this situation (basically just the people trying to get vil to stop denying his feelings) would be ortho and epel. epel because he's also in pomefiore (and i also LOVE HIM), and ortho because of the film studies club (but also because he'll have relevance since it's idiavil). ortho wld know about how both parties are interested but he wld keep it a secret. i also think that ortho and epel wld be like their matchmakers... i love ortho and epel as a duo, i think they'd wreak a lot of havoc together. other than that it's kind of basic compared to my other fic ideas but i still love it a lot.

THIRD FIC IDEA. i only recently came up w this one and jotted it down frantically on the bus so i don't rlly have much of a concept yet but an actor au, either stage or like tv actors. i know acting is out of character for idia but he could always be in the tech crew... also its an au i can write him a little ooc if i want.

FINAL FIC IDEA I WILL SHARE FOR THIS POST. I SAVED MY FAVORITE FOR LAST. BAND AU. ok so it's more like a singer/stand alone artist au. i think abt this au so much it's not even funny. i have a ton written down but this post is already long enough so i'll sum it up, if for some reason this idea gains traction i'll post more abt it again. this takes place like one or two years in the future? idkfs yet. idia and vil are both individual artists but enjoy each other's music a lot despite the contrast in style. after a few interviews and messages they end up making a song together, which then turns into a few songs, and oh no now they're in love. i eat breathe sleep this au i don't even know why i haven't started writing for it yet (because i have adhd and school is kicking my ass) . ANYWAYS THATS IT. i thoroughly enjoy rambling abt these fics but also idiavil in general so comments/responses are encouraged if u feel like it. i will probably respond at lightspeed unless i am sleeping. farewell idiavil nation 🫡

[vyxated]

finally answering asks I've been keeping for a while ~.~

📝 sims2 & chalk'd ui, phone icons & wallpapers, cas bg recolor, font replacement, and some more (reshade & rig helper asks will be answered at another time ;; )

tysm anon!! I had to wrestle a bit with the file to make the taxi image work, and at the end it came out looking super neat! Especially if you have the sims 2's music playing (found a super cool music override that does that). It's such a cool idea, and I've been researching on how to do it 😆 ngl, making cc objects is something I wanna do someday, tho from the looks of it it's gonna take me a while to understand the process lol. If/when I make any breakthrough, I'll be sure to post about it :p (It'd be neat if it costs money too to use the taxi.)

jdfklsjf tysm @hellofears & @oshinsimblr !! I've been doing some final adjustments so hopefully I can release it within this week c:

thanks anon ^7^ you can replace them as long as you have access to the files (pancake1 made a pie menu & wants sound replacement and buurz replaced the in-game music with ones from other sims games). I looked around and found these resources you might want to check out: TS4 Sound Tool, UI sound kit & UI audio instance list

hehe tysm anon! My UI mods won't remove the shop icon so you'll need to grab other mods that do that. I decided not to do it myself to avoid having a new mod conflict ^^

Hii @simplyamazingsims, I've tested both mirroredup & triple mirror and both v3 files are working w/ the latest update. The reflection setting must be set to low or higher for the reflection to show up. You can also try clearing your caches and try removing the resource.cfg file (file will regenerate, and doing this fixes the issue for some). Oh and ofc having other cas backgrounds can cause mine to not show up so make sure there's only one in your mods folder ^^

@claravizeu it's a map override that I'll probably work on whenever I'm in the mood 😆

Hi anon! For the phone icons, I used xosdr's phone icons psd to create mine. For the wallpaper, I haven't found someone who've gathered & shared the files for it, so I'll see if I can do that myself :)

Heyy anon, it's a CAS bg that I made for the previews so it's not available to download. I haven't got the chance to prepare the files yet, but I'll try to find the time to do so ^^

Hey anon, unfortunately the notification wall is associated w/ the texture file that handles most of the UI panels, so you won't be able to remove a specific file to achieve it. I've received a request just like yours so what I can do is share it a separate file later on ^^

Hii as well, it's compatible yes ^^ you can use both mods as they don't have any files in common that conflicts with each other.

heyy @icyaliyah, sorry it took a while to respond! While I don't have plans to recolor them, you can download these pink recolors by estellics & dumbabie ^^ and thank you very much!

Hii as well, it's been a while so I don't know if you're still having the issue or if it's already been fixed. Afaik my mod shouldn't cause any loading issues on its own, as well as if you have the conflicting mod & files present and if you remove the conflicting files. So far, I've not received any reports of this exact issue, so I can't be of help. Sorry if that doesn't answer your question 😅

ahhhh @veone thank you as well for using it ever since it came out!! 🙈

Heyy anon, basically you'd want to only remove the files that conflicts w/ the mods that you do use, and not the other way around. For example, if you use TOOL, you'd want to delete the files in the Additional Files > TOOL folder (either both text and texture files or just the text file alone, depending on which one you prefer). If you don't use TOOL, keep the files be. So, if you only have the UI Cheats mod and none of the listed conflicting mods, then you don't need to remove any files ^^

heyy @swithdream, well very belated happy new year to you as well despite it being april already lol there's an update to the cas organizers that I haven't done yet, and when the time comes that I update those, I'll try to include the psds for all the templates I did ^^

Hii @kneptoone, it's a font replacement using TS3's Helvetica Rounded font that I made & haven't shared yet, yeah ^^ I can try putting it up for download since there isn't one out yet.

Heyy anon, I've been focusing on other things so I haven't yet found the time to work on my older uploads >< I'm definitely interested in doing those, but not sure when that'll be.

Hello anon, tysm! I'll do it at some point but not sure when :x I haven't properly played around w/ CAS since last year :X

[puppy-alythia]

Hello Hello!

My name is Alythia! Aly, Lythia, or Puppy is also fine! I'm fine with any pronouns but mostly I use she/her. I'm 20 years old! I'm autistic, and have a whole slew of mental fuckery (DID, NPD, paranoia, tics, eating disorders and so on and so on...)

This is my account to be a little feral gremlin! I'll probably mostly post about Starkid's Hatchetfield (my special interest), original characters/books (my other special interest), any anime or shows im watching, music I like, my religion (I'm Hellenic), any video games I'm playing, talking about my animals, therian/otherkin stuff, or occasionally mental health and venting things! I'll make sure to tag everything, or sometimes no tags if it's a vent!

Since I have DID a bunch of other alters have blogs, so if you happen to be in the Starkid fandom you might know me somehow ^^ if I ever post my fics here and you recognize them it's cause other alters probably posted them elsewhere! I post all my starkid fics to AO3 under the name Quill_and_Coin, if you recognize that name you get a gold star!

I don't have much of a DNI list, anything bigoted is obvious. Anyone who's endogenic/pro endogenic, pro isreal, proshippers or believe fiction doesn't effect reality, and lastly anyone who believes in narc abuse! This might get updated if needed I guess.

You wanna know a bit more about me? Okay sure! (Below the cut)

I absolutely love Hatchetfield and I can't possibly pick a favorite character. But I have created a favorite ship with the help of the Hatchetfield gooncave (iykyk). The ship is called Holy Honey Buns and it's Linda, Karen, Gerald, and Mark in a polycule <3 I write a lot of nsfw fanfics for this fandom and I have zero shame about it. I also love MHA (not the fandom usually lol), Spy x Family and a bunch of anime and Manga. I really like Komi Can't Communicate right now!

Some of my favorite video games include Lethal Company, Stardew Valley, Cult Of The Lamb, Content Warning, Minecraft, L4D2, and a bunch more!

I listen to a lot of music (so much starkid... so much vocaloid...) but I also really like System of a Down, Melanie Martinez, Lydia The Bard, Mother Mother, Ado, CALYPSO, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Jubyphonic, and sooooo much more!

When it comes to my religion, I'm Hellenic! I work closely with Lord Apollon, Lady Hestia, and Lord Zeus. I DO NOT STAND FOR ZEUS HATE ON THIS BLOG! I don't engage with fandoms that have my God's involved because usually its bad misrepresentation and just frustrates me. Though my friends are trying to get me into EPIC because it's supposedly really respectful, so you might see me obsess over that at some point hehe!

I'm also a canine therian (hence my puppy name lol) I'm still figuring out exactly what my theriotype is but canine is definitely it lol

That's probably it! I might make personal tags for things but I probably won't. If you read this far, congrats! You should treat yourself to some good water and a snack! Thank you for looking at my blog!

[madinscurianmermaid]

Ethel Cain - Preacher's Daughter Review and Commentary:

(trigger warning: discussions of religious cult abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, trafficking, torture, r*pe, murder and criminal c*****ism)

Ethel Cain's Preacher's Daughter is truly a work of art. Granted, I'd been playing "Family Tree" on repeat beforehand, but then I decided to listen to the entire album from start to finish and I'm glad at did. Everything about the album from its production, to the merging of different genres, to the lyricism and narrative storytelling, the southern gothic and midwestern gothic atmosphere and thematic overtones and Ethel's soulful and haunting vocals are all perfection.

Now onto the narrative storytelling and lore of the album: I was seriously very deeply emotional and misty eyed near the end of the album. Cause the life story of the main character Ethel's is genuinely disturbing and harrowing as it is heartbreaking and devastating...Ethel grew up an outcast in a small town, was raised in a twisted abusive cult, was r*ped and sexually assaulted by her disgusting sick preacher father who was supposed to be protecting her, which played a role in Ethel constantly falling into toxic relationships with abusive guys later in life, among one of those boyfriends named Logan that Ethel would lose when Logan was killed in a shoot-out with the police which caused Ethel to go on the run from the police. Then Ethel ran away from home and met Isaiah while hitchhiking to California and Isaiah seemed nice at first, but then Isaiah turned out to be a douchebag as he ended up getting Ethel hooked on heavy drugs such as heroin and started pimping her out/trafficking her as a prostitute while also subjecting her to domestic violence and beatings daily, culminating in everything escalating further in Isaiah exposing himself as a psychopath and his abusiveness towards Ethel intensifying into outright physical and sexual torture that Ethel endures as she's hallucinating while high, which in turn dredges up all of her old trauma based scars and wounds, and then ends tragically with Isaiah murdering and cannibalizing Ethel.

Ethel lived a sad tragic life and ended up dying a horrible, violent death. She deserved so much better 💔

I was still reeling from listening to Lingua Ignota's Caligula (itself an indescribably harrowing piece of art), then Ethel Cain's Preacher's Daughter took me through another roller coaster ride of a wave of various emotions. In terms of the album's gothic themes, it wholeheartedly fits. As disturbing and harrowing as it is, it fits the southern gothic tone and midwestern gothic tone throughout the lore--and frankly in my honest opinion, a lot of popular media that tries to lean into gothic themes have been playing it safe so Ethel came along and said, "Lemme show ya'll how it's really done!", and did exactly that. The track Ptolemea epitomizes this along with August Underground, and they're the most chilling, unsettling, horrifying and disturbing tracks on the album, and the final track Strangers along with Hard Times earlier on are the most heartbreaking, to where I found myself getting emotional.

Preacher's Daughter is a modern day southern gothic and midwestern gothic masterpiece. And like Caligula, I won't be forgetting it anytime soon.

Top favorite songs: A House in Nebraska, Western Nights, Family Tree, Ptolemaea, Hard Times

P.S.: Also, it means a lot to me that Ethel's late diagnosed autistic and transgender, and talks about religious trauma and personal trauma throughout her music. I'm also late diagnosed autistic and neurodivergent and I deal with a ton of personal trauma and religious trauma though the main difference with me is that I was born intersex which I found out later in life and I'm an intersex woman/femme, and I'm of color. I'll probably explain more of my story in another post, but considering my own life story and my own mental health journey and journey of sitting at many levels of marginalized identities while being a believer in Christ, that makes Preacher's Daughter and Ethel's overall themes and story mean that much more to me.

[koscheicore]

*appears*

(imagine that one random time-lord in The Autons, floating mid-air)

Greetings once again,

Some more questions for you, because THOSCHEI, THOSCHEI, THOSCH-…..

Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions! (No pressure ofc)

Commencing in three, two, one..

*explosion*

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 17

21 - Headcanons for your favourite ainley pairing

24 – gimme more info about the thoschei fan incarnations that occasionally pop up on your feeds. It is vital information!!!

*looks around at the impact caused by the questions*

Whoops

Have a good day/week! :)

*disappears*

SO IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG, THAT TIMELORD... That makes sense! Thank you so much for all the quest- (loud explosion) AAAAH!

(sooo prepare for a very long post 🤣)

1. How did you get into thoschei?

(gets out from under the table) Uhhh has the noise stopped? Yea. Okay. So it all started when I heard a rhythm of four beats?? And then I think my brain got infected. All I could think about is some sad pathetic aliens hugging each other and I guess one was dead and??? then he wasn't? Yeah so I saw tensimm and I got obsessed. That was, if my calculations are correct, about 8 years ago.

2. What is your favourite thoschei flavour?

At the moment it's fiveainley! Or sevencrispy...

3. What is, in your opinion, the most toxic thoschei dynamic?

Why did I even make this question. All of them there's no salvaging the toxicity. Uhh imma go with tensimm or spydoc though

5. Any fan content recommendations?

Honestly THBU it's just. Sublime. Okay so I might have been about to cry just one chapter in? Yeah??

Also Please Attend Carefully if you want podcasts abt the Master because who doesn't.

Now, that's all sfw but on the spicy smut side, here's a fiveainley fic that plays with hypnosis. I found it interesting how the author wrote it in first person, and their Ainley voice is just fantastic. Make sure to read the tags first though!

Do also check the ppl I reblog from's profiles some of them have AO3 accts I plan on munching on when I can!

8. Favourite thoschei story?

Honestly the Master audio atm. Or the Five Doctors cuz it's really funny to see Ainley TRY... just really try... Btw 1st Doctor x Ainley!Master when

Ngl I have to rewatch all the nuwho episodes w the master on it so my thoughts might change. These two stories are consuming my brain rn

9. Favourite thing they have said canonically to each other?

"Wonder what I'd be without you"

"Yeah."

And this

11. Song that reminds me of them?

I want to make an animatic with this so badly

12. Any thoschei headcanons?

My most heartfelt headcanon for them is this if it even counts as one 🤔

17. What's an underrated thoschei pairing?

SIXAINLEY FFS SIXAINLEY IS SO UNDERRATED. More of them pls...

21. Headcanons for your favourite Ainley pairing

No I'm not picking just one >:0

Fiveainley:

-In my head the Master contacted Fivey after the whole cheetah stuff in hopes he could help him. Not talking abt how good or bad that went but Fivey can't remember anyways.

-The Master loves the smell of Fivey's sweaters. Anytime he's entered his TARDIS he's stolen a few. Fivey still doesn't know where they went.

-Oh it's definitely Ainley!Master's fault the Doctor's regenerations became weirder. Yeah after what he did to Fivey he just messed them up. Like Fivey's legs. Hey, if the Master is having trouble being in a Trakenite body it's only fair, right?

Sixainley:

-The most likely pair to do spicy stuff actually. They're both into BDSM although probably not in a sexual context exactly. No I won't elaborate

-The cat pin? Yeah that's something the cheetah Master left in the TARDIS during that Fivey visit. Six just doesn't know. The Master finds it amusing.

-The Rani has tried to block all contact with the Master because he keeps calling her to talk about his latest plan to kill the Doctor. She's so tired.

Oneainley:

-The Master actually visited 1 on a few occasions during the Doctor's past after the events of the Five Doctors, wearing disguises of course so he wouldn't recognise him later.

-He invited him to lunch and they conversed. The Master finds this Doctor kind of endearing in a way, he's the closest he has to things being alright between them anyways. Just some quiet conversations, no mention of the Master or Gallifrey. No murder intent, they just were. Two "strangers" sharing lunch having candid intellectual conversations.

-Eventually, he stopped. Why? I leave that to your imagination.

24. Talk abt your fan Doctor and Master incarnations

OKOK IM GLAD YOU ASKED... So I met this classmate who's a dw fan and as we became friends he told me he had his own fan Doctor incarnation. Eventually we started LARPing for fun and I made my own Master, then we started making up tons of stories and that's how they came to be!

ONE DAY HOWEVER... He said. What if the Master and the Doctor were bigenerated?? Yeah from the same entity but the Time Lords erased their memories. And Dhawan!Master knew this but that one bit he never told, the Doctor never uncovered it, and this is part of why Dhawan wanted to become the Doctor. And boy this broke my heart because thE IMPLICATIONS. That'd mean the Master is ALSO the Timeless Child. So now that's canon for my Master and surprise, it's been selfcest all this time except not exactly because they are not the same anymore and they can never be.

So based off that, my Master loves to make a point on how different they are whilst his Doctor searches for similarities instead when he learns this. My Master is convinced that they're destined to be the worst parts of the Doctor forever, whilst the Doctor got "the better part". So why would they make it easy for him? Gallifrey is gone anyways so let's prove they can never be the same. Let's prove they're DONE. And they're immortal too I guess so why conform with having nothing no. They're owed the Universe and they're not sharing. Meanwhile the Doctor is wondering what would be of the Master if they had lived anything similar than what they did, if they're actually the same, if there's any kindness left on them, if they could have become the Master... He's stuck on his past in a way, too, missing companions and simpler times and stuff. And I intend to destroy his hopes of truly enjoying his current self you know?

...so yeah uh we also have companions we're making and we're slowly developing all of this + some random "episodes" (plots. that is) and one of them is Dak. Dak is well, kind of a Dalek kind of not. I have no idea how this happened he hasn't told me yet but apparently Dak has the genes of one of his companions? His mind when he was a child. So he's like a curious kid travelling with the Doctor except he's got Dalek Issues (tm) and I have such awful plans for him I'm so sorry little Dak ily but Daleks can never be good you know ☺️☺️ And I also have my subconscious eating beings that hate the Master for reasons but shhh. My friend doesn't know yet.

Anyways here's my Master treating the Doctor with love as usual

-----

Hey... hey. Wait. Don't go! *looks around* Uh... who will help me pay for all the repairs??? 😭

ALSO thank you so much for that twogado recommendation I will proceed to scream

[tillxthexearthxstartsxtoxcrumble]

Little details in The Phantom Of The Opera movie that I love so much cause I just watched it for the first time in years again and I will be mentioning my point of view now vs when I was a kid. Also this is in honor of it closing on Broadway today, it's truly an amazing musical

My mom had watched this musical since she was a kid and it's a favorite of hers so this is also one I watched with her and we shared things we liked throughout it :)

Just so everyone knows, as a kid I didn't understand anything bad about what the phantom was doing but I knew he was treated horribly and I sympathized with him a lot.

Warning: this is a very long post. I just started liveblogging at one point and never went back.

This was emobviously entirely intentional but the color coming back as it lights up in fire is truly one of the best things that could have ever been done with a movie and I will NEVER get over it. Best part of those flash forwards

Lot 666. The freaking chandelier falling. I'm just. Yeah. That's cool.

My mom saw a performance of this off Broadway but still in a big theater and they did light a fire and raise a chandelier for it and she mentions that anytime we talk about this musical. It was truly an amazing experience for her

THE TRUMPETSSSSSSS. I'm such a band nerd but I am gonna try and convince my band director to let us perform this cause we have a copy in the music library (also happy birthday to my band director cause it probably won't still be his birthday when this is posted but it is as I'm writing this)

She says she thinks of her as a daughter and yet she's aware of everything and lets it happen...

My mom said she didn't like Raoul until the movie and as a kid I didn't care for him (as I said, I cared for the phantom) but rewatching it now they're kinda cute with how excited they are when they recognize each other. More comments on them later, probably.

CHRISTINE IS GLOWING LITERALLY DURING THE PERFORMANCE. LITERALLY.

Because it's my current binging show and I'm emotionally attached, I have to mention- the actress playing Christine is truly incredible because I'm watching her in Shameless rn and it's truly amazing seeing her in both of these

CHRISTINE AND RAOUL SINGING TOGETHER AT ALL IS JUST THE BEST THING FOR THE EARS

SHE WATCHES HIM LOCK CHRISTINE IN WHY FORS SHE JUST STAND BY?! MA'AM I UNDERSTAND SYMPATHY, I HAD IT FOR HIM AS A KID TOO, BUT YOU'RE A GROWN ASS ADULT WITH A KID AND A SURROGATE CHILD. COME ON.

I mentioned this with my mom but I am really into color theory and white usually represents purity and innocence, which is why I find it interesting how his MASK is literally the color meaning innocene and then later on in the film he has a black mask when even Christine knows he is not the wonderful angel she though he was, and he doesn't get back his mask of innocence And the mask is even taken off. Which also, there is a beauty when reading into color symbolism how black represents evil and death and he has a black mask when going after so many people to kill and then she removes his mask and she has sympathy for him. Because while he is truly terrible for all he's done, he is a damaged creature that has never been shown love and she pities him. Doesn't change or make anything he has done okay but if there was much thought behind that, I love it.

Watched a Cinema Therapy episode on this (HIGHLY suggest checking them out, they're amazing!!! You can find them on YouTube!) But they mention how his lyrics are all very possessive and her love song with Raoul is all about sharing. I love it.

Time to acknowledge the elephant in the room cause the casting of Gerard Butler is very controversial apparently but my mom told me she read an article saying that they chose him because he was an untrained singer, as the phantom was meant to be. I understand both sides of the arguments on his casting, because while yes the authenticity of the character making it more realistic with singing ability, he was meant to be this amazing singer who literally sang like an angel so getting a trained actor may have been better but idk. I still love it

Sir get your hands off her you literally watched her grow up while you were an adult already.

The difference in perspective between Christine and what the reality was being shown is something that makes me appreciate it being a movie. There being rats and it being dark and damp as the reality vs Christine seeing it all lit up and beautiful and mysterious.

Nah man cause Christine is my favorite voice in this but I AM OBSESSED WITH RAOUL'S VOICE HOLY HELL

Nah man if I had literally seconds notice to play an unplanned song in band I'd lose my shit

The cinematography in this is just so beautiful oh my gosh

Okay more on the color theory a little bit with the masks. The masquerade scene- my mom told me the live performance was quite colorful during this but it was more black and white in this and it's interesting to me that they choose now to have the both black and white here. Because Christine sees through The Phantom mostly, but still believes him to be some angel in some form, and until she goes to the cemetery he will stay that way. The mask he enters with here, while still white was shaped much like a skull. Still the purity, but the death behind it that she now knows. It's also covering his whole face now.

He falls down into a firey pit. They're really not hiding the symbolism I just love pointing out the details

I hate people. I completely understand why he killed the guy and why she got him away. (I just don't like that she continues with it)

The song at the Graveyard is just. Yeah.

The red lighting is yet again making me think of color theory however I just can't get over their singing together in this song holy shit.

HE HAS THE WHITE MASK BACK WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO GET HER BACK AND SHE WAS GOING, IT WASN'T UNTIL HE FOUGHT RAOUL AND HURT HIM THAT IT CHANGED

Raoul I care for you a lot buddy but why share your plan when you know the man lives there and hears everything

They're covering their ears for his opera.

Yet again gonna mention the literal fire they have on the stage. Hell, but also passion and the danger.

Her straps of her dress are up before he shows up. One strap has fallen to her shoulder when he shows up and as she realizes it's him, both fall down. His play is titled "Don Juan" after the famous man who dedicated his life to seducing all women he could. Also this is Gerard Butler's best song vocal wise in my opinion

SHE LIFTS HER SLEEVES BACK UP THEN HE SINGS THE LINE "beyond the point of no return" AND THEN SHE LOOKS AT RAOUL AND HE REALIZES. Is this anything? Possibly not but it's 1 am at this moment

Her sleeves go back down when she turns back to him and sings the same lines as him.

Holy fuck their voices in this song too.

Raoul I'm so sorry my guy I saw those tears in your eyes.

She was acting along with everything he wanted but as he sang the song she thought was secret with her lover, she moved and started to tear up. Then she takes off his mask.

They fall down through the flames. I've already mentioned it but just... I love it

Okay idk if people will agree and I know there wasn't this much information on her in the Broadway performance but she stopped her daughter from going with them and brought Raoul down there. She has been shown to know his traps and the way out of them, where he hides and where he stays. She wouldn't let her daughter go, and stops, then sends him to go on alone and he ends up falling into a trap. She's shown that she is loyal to the phantom so far, who's to say she wouldn't try to sabotage Raoul?

I love how she isn't sympathetic at first, she was ANGRY and rightfully so. She sees a way out later and shows him compassion and love that he has never known

THE WAY HE SINGS "I fought so hard to free you" SO SOFTLY AS HE LOOKS AT HER BREAKS MY HEART MAN.

The fact that she mouths "I love you" to Raoul before she acts that way with the phantom.

He's shown love for the first time and it breaks him.

Okay further providing evidence of my theory that the surrogate mother (I forget her name ngl) wasn't so good- she was shown earlier to know the way that Christine was always taken there and that's the way the other people come in (as far as I could tell she wasn't with them) but she led Raoul the way that there was a trap door...

Going back to the white mask being the mask of the purity and innocence... the monkey was shown with him when he was a child. Not that exact one, I don't think, but a monkey was there and the white mask of purity (the way he was as a child) being left with it and him looking at it earlier on with no mask at all, after she shows him love and says that his face is not the monstrous side of him. Idk, I just loved that.

[thealolanchamp]

¡Introduction post!

Alola! First post here! In case you do not know me, I am Apoālewa, Champion of Alola! If my name is too difficult to pronounce that's ok, You can call me Dugga!

Here are my current pokemon with some info!

Evo the Sylveon, he's my service pokemon that helps me keep in check and ensure I'm under control of myself, he's an absolute sweetheart! He was a gift from my older half sister when I first met her(she had to adopt me after some unfortunate things that happened to me, I do not wish to say what exactly)

Mr.Squirt("lil Mister") the Primarina, my Ace in battle, he's been with me since I started my Island trials, as you can tell I was not the best at names when I was younger. He's quite a calm, gentle pokemon who enjoys his naps. He's also quite the Peirs enjoyer, you should see him make his way into whatever room has that guy's music playing!

Midnight the Lycanroc, you can guess by the name what variant of lycanroc she is lol, she's the playfully rough kind of pokemon, always nibbling on me or my clothes, rubbing her rocky parts on stuff(lost so much furniture to her). She's also what i like to call a "screamer", basically she doesn't bark, woof, ruff none of that, but SCREAMS like a bolthound that found something(usually at the late hours of the night too)

Jell-o the (shiny) Goodra, my only shiny pokemon, I found him as a goomy during a pause of rain near Po town I think, poor thing was dry from the sun:(, i got him near a shaded puddle and began to leave, but he refused to leave my side hehe, he's also caused a lot of furniture problems, he's joyfully lazy and he won't leave my chairs alone(goodra slime is hard to get out of fabric, worse is that stuff bleaches)

E ("Esper") the Espeon, a absolutely amazing if not shy companion, I got her after seeing an ad from a shelter about an eevee(her) that was used for shiny breeding and needed a home. I feel so happy that she felt safe enough around me to evolve into such a friendship related evolution. She surprisingly great in battle, the pokemon center said if mist be therapeutic for her(i make sure shes ok before and after every battle don't worry)

Mocha the (alolan) Raichu, probably my most food motivated pokemon😅, you shake a bag of food and he comes zooming, also no one told me the move Electric Terrain made them surf faster! He had to go to the pokemon center because he zoomed indoor and hit a wall🤦‍♂️(he's ok btw, happened several months ago)

Aohd(pronounced "ay") the Volcanrona, had no clue that Volcanronas are rare in Alola until guzma lost his shit at the sight of her as a Larvesta, she tends to lounge about ouside when not battling, soaking up the sun. Also I recommend to anyone thinking of having a Volcanrona to have a large backyard with easy access to sunlight and plenty vegetation, I've learned it's vital for their diets(just a tip)

Chase the Gardevoir, not my pokemon but my sister's, she(chase) is essentially a caregiver since Kahu(my sister) left for Paldea some time ago for education purposes, she helps me with chores and errands, she also speaks via ASL(Alolan Sign Language), I pretty much look up to her as a mother figure. Not sure where exactly she came from as Kahu found her as a Ralts on Poni island and apparently the Ralts line don't reside in Alola.

Rotom-Dex the Rotom, can't forget one of the most helpful pokemon I have! They were quite chatty too after they learned they can talk with the pokedex they possess, they're quite well trained for their job too! Always giving me needed tidbits about for forgettable pokemon so i won't falter in battle! Even though they don't battle themselves, they're quite vital to my job as champion!

¡Update!

So it seems I have been transported to the past via otherworldly means and now I have to make a new team for myself to ensure saftey, i currently have-

Mr.Squirt("lil Mister), he was one of the only two pokemon that came with me unfortunately, he's still the same ol' Primarina

"Arc-Dex"(RotomDex), Rotom, they started calling themselves that after I woke up in hisui, they resemble Akari's "ArcPhone", some modified phone. They still do not battle.

Ghostface the Cyndaquil, the professor here, Laventon gave her to me to ensure I learn of the "Hisuian" veriants of pokemon here, apparently she'll become a ghost type but i remember them being pure fire type, this may be interesting.

Anyways welcome to my blog, hope this wasn't too long! Don't be scared to ask questions!

[verishere]

For the OC ask game, how about 3, 5, 9 and 14 for Liam or Freya? (choose which if any you do for each <3)

Oh, you asked the hard ones, how dare you!

/s

3 for both

Overconfidence, I think? My problem with writing characters- before I began actually writing them out fully, I mean when I was just writing a summary of them and otherwise leaving them in my head- I didn't give the characters enough flaws, if at all, and Liam is the best example of that. Overconfidence is the only character flaw he had that actually costed him during any scenes that I have planned out, and while it's true I'm probably gonna find a lot more as I keep writing, rn I don't have more than that.

Freya's is being too trusting. Even after Nirum's betrayal she trusts people too much, especially after she loses her memories. The way this costs her is actually one of the few things I am saving instead of spoilering, and it's a very, very late thing, so it's probably going to be months before I write about it, but hers is being too trusting. This one is definitively her flaw.

5 for Liam again.

In simpler words than below, for the ultimate goal he will go all the way, for most goals he will stop short of even interfering much with other people's lives.

I mean. Each character I have actually fully dies for the cause at some point. Yeah they can be reborn but still. The ultimate goal- a second blessed years- is paramount over literally everything. So I'll use a lesser goal instead, Liam is for any goal that is not contributing to the main goal (most of his actions during the Dark Years were contributing to "when the Final War breaks out, I want the decks stacked for our hand" so only counting goals that were not at all related to the Final War) he is typically unwilling to kill unless the target would be like, a serial killer with dozens of victims. Of all his family he hates to kill (or execute, since he's a high king) the most, but for example something nostalgic of his is stolen? If it's something important but not world shatteringly so he will hunt for the theft, ask if anyone had seen it, post flyers in the area, etc, but after he finds who did it he will usually pardon them with no more than a warning, and if he can't find them, he will miss whatever it is but won't go more than asking around the area.

9 for both. What lyrics don't I associate with these two. My playlists for my OCs- back when I actually updated those playlists- was ordered "Freya" "Liam" "any other Nulyradon" and "any other Nuthri". The Freya and Liam ones were individually larger than their respective family's entire collection, by a long shot.

For Liam, I guess

"I am the prophet, with the answers you seek,

Time, I've unlocked it, I see past and future flowing free"

No Longer You, from Epic the Musical. For I think very obvious reasons.

And then Freya, "I longed for peace, but you couldn't leave it be,

Now you've played your part in this forever unfinished symphony"

A derivakat song, somehow for a dream SMP character (the fuck HAPPENS in that it's a minecraft roleplay series why do so many fansongs fit my OCs talking about the end of the fucking world as they know it-) named "Why"

14 for both. Liam first.

simpler than that, he wants to be seen as relatable rather than put on a pedestal.

He wants to be seen as a person again. The Watcher is a mythological figure, the only person left with power in the world who the people know 100% for sure was during the Blessed Years, since no one knows who the suns Keeper is or where/when they're from. Liam is both the Watcher and the Keeper, so he has three personas- himself, the Watcher, the Keeper- and in only one of those is he treated as a human being rather than a monolith of opposition against Nirum, or as a seemingly natural phenomenon, unstoppable as the tide. Even his own family after he returns to them from being the Watcher and things treats him differently, like they don't know how to talk around him, since he is by that time the only one of them with wings, befriended the Nuthri, and looked Nirum himself in the eyes and denounced him. The Watcher is treated like a god and is actually worshiped as one by many religions- I don't have gods in my world, just wielders of some godlike things, but many people THOUGHT they were gods- and even among the nonreligious that awe is still there, even among his own family.

WOW that was heavy, lets do Freya now. She wants to be seen as the carefree figure who makes friends with pretty much anyone. She doesn't want respect, or awe, she just wants to meet people, have fun, form relationships, and party. She did not like the concept of queenship once it was eventually explained to her by Nrolin and Vlorindul.

[jimi-rawlings]

Jeezy - Knob Broke (Official Music Video)

You know if you've been following my career for a while

You know I don't scream as I used to

You could say my shit talking has matured somewhat

Still get the same point across

You know that shit you be like in the quote

I guess you could say my speech be my work

So I let my work speak for itself

I go to work, I do my job

I gets it in, I goes hard

Think I had too much to drink, you feel me God

Too turned up, I broke the knob

I bet you won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I bet you niggas won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I bet these bitches won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I made these niggas wanna

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I made these bitches wanna

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Homie just keep it real, I know what you was thinking

Between all the hater raising and all that liquor you drinking

You was probably thinking that I go out like a sucker

That's what you get for thinking you ignorant motherfucker

It's Jeezy G from the gutter, these rappers fraudulently busters

Post up, served the cluckers and used to dare 'em to cuff us

Got the work from the Mexicans used to dare 'em to trust us

'Cause we taking that shit like it got caught up in customs

Bad bitches they lusting' real niggas discussing

See them taking them shots, they bounce off of them it's nothing

Don't let this rap shit fool you, run up on him, he busting

Don't let these rap niggas fool you, that's the end of discussion

See I would die by this shit, and whatever that's worth

You niggas step in my yard I go to war 'bout my turf

See, Young one of the realest niggas that's walking this earth

Nigga you heard what I said and that's the end of my verse

I bet you won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I bet you niggas won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I bet these bitches won't

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I made these niggas wanna

Turn up, turn up, turn up

I made these bitches wanna

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Nigga if you're about to issue, then you know how I feel

Look you dead in your eyes and let you know that it's real

I see these niggas is faking so I'mma be realistic

See these niggas is playing so let me kick the ballistics

Throw that brick in the oven, bake that bitch like a biscuit

Way I weigh up this yolo, you'd think I majored in physics

And I'ma stay sucker free, that's right I'm gon' keep my distance

Can't fuck 'round with these suckers, I learned that there through experience

If the subject is trapping then I'mma head of the class

Heard you niggas is broke, and you might need a cash

Yes, some niggas get money, but that shit don't make 'em real

If you lie good enough, you just might get you a deal

I'm a real one for real, real shit pay my bills

If I wasn't rappin', baby I'd be still counting mills

If I wasn't rappin', baby I'd be still toting steel

See I made this shit yeah, so I can turn up for real

I go to work, I do my job

I gets it in, I goes hard

Think I had too much to drink, you feel me God

Too turned up, I broke the knob

I bet you won't

Turn up, turn up

I bet you niggas won't

Turn up, turn up

I bet these bitches won't

Turn up, turn up

I made these niggas wanna

Turn up, turn up

I made these bitches wanna

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

Turn up, turn up, turn up, turn up, I think the knob broke

RAVERS

[the-voidkin-playground]

vent post, tw for possible? ptsd (just some potential symptoms), eating/food issues, anxiety, etc. etc.

been thinking about band we dropped out during band camp, before freshman year we were in there for about a month? i believe?

it was nonstop suffering it was the worst we had been since we were 12 years old

we could hardly eat, we felt sick all the time, like we were about to vomit and/or pass out we were always in pain, we couldn't stand without hurting so much

we were under so much stress, we couldn't keep up, we were never good enough to keep up with everyone else we had always been behind in band, even in middle school, because they made us redo our first year of band since we missed the last few months because of the pandemic causing school to get canceled

we tried to watch a video of a performance, from our school band, the other day the one that they were making us practice to do, learning the songs, the choreography, all that stuff

we couldn't get past the second song just hearing the music and seeing the choreography that we were forced to play and march to, over and over again it made us feel sick and like we were about to cry

we can't think about it without panicking, the guilt and shame from leaving the band eat away at us, while the pain and distress haunt us we never want to go back to the band, but we wonder if it was a mistake to leave, maybe it would've gotten better, maybe we would've been okay i think the fact that we can't listen to the band's music without extreme distress says otherwise though

every time we hear or think about those songs, we want to cry, we can feel the pressure and memories digging their claws into us and trying to drag us back in we're never going back

we have no idea if it's ptsd or even trauma, since we think it shouldn't have warranted that extreme of a reaction, but it's affected us severely i think that one month of band camp was probably one of the unhealthiest points of our entire life getting too little sleep, not eating enough, always feeling sick, being anxious all the time, being in pain constantly, feeling so hopeless and trapped it was a nightmare

i think it caused some bad habits in the opposite direction as well we ended up overeating, when we stopped feeling so sick after a few weeks of being out of band camp we gained a lot of weight from it we became inactive, because any activity felt terrible after being forced to overexert and overwork ourselves five days every week for a month

we ended up becoming very avoidant of the band, and anything to do with playing music, for a while we had given up on it, so why bother? we didn't play anything for months afterwards, and we still hardly play, despite how much we used to enjoy it we still don't go to games or band performances i think we'd have a breakdown if we tried

maybe someday, we can stop associating being in a band with pain and suffering, and we can enjoy playing instruments again maybe we could join a small, non-school band, that won't force us to play and march for hours and hours every single week maybe we could find that community we so desperately longed for and felt like we had lost when we quit

i don't know someday, we'll feel better about it, and won't panic and feel trapped from the first few notes of a song, or the marching choreography of the band

anyway, we mightt have more ptsd symptoms than we thought thought it was just from other things, this may also be contributing though partner sys told us that it was a traumatic experience, because of being forced to do things we didn't want to, and the amount of pain and distress we felt from it

but anyway haha if you read this far, just like, don't mention this, i don't want to think about it any more than i need to and if you know me irl, i am dealing with it, i'm trying to cope, i am alright i'm just a little quirky, yknow? anyway, i'm going to try to sleep now, and hopefully stop thinking about this

[beeseverywhen]

No not even a little bit. Why does everyone on this website talk about class like this.

Actually no you know what. That's too harsh. I know why. It's cause you don't know. Knowledge is power so rather than being a dick, how about I actually share what I know.

Look. The thing with class is these categories were written in a different time. Ppl were doing different jobs and had WAY less buying power. Things are very commercialised now and new products are avaliable to a much wider number of people. So we've gotta apply a bit of leeway. But you guys are applying WAY too much leeway which conveniently keeps the lower classes busy fighting each other and never actually looking at the real disparities of wealth.

Now one problem is that people have a rather simplistic view of class and just look at it in terms of income and buying power. It's also to do with culture, how people live their lives and traditionally, what jobs they do.

I'm gonna go in to this, but frankly, there's a lot to it lol and so I've made some parts of it (working class jobs and middle class culture) posts of their own. But it is intended to be read all as one I just didn't want to overwhelm ppl with my essay lol

What does a working class job look like?

Examples of middle class jobs: laywer, doctor, some business or banking jobs, some business owners. Often they hold jobs that they (or someone else) planned for them to get in to. They got their job often through the help of connections (be those knowing someone in the business, knowing how that sector works thanks to parents/ family friends in the sector, loans to start businesses) or graduate entry.

Now in the original post you've focused on buying power so I'll cover that. To be middle class, your income should be at least that of the median income in your area. Middle class means you have buying power. These are the people that advertisers are aiming for, middle class people and those who want to live a middle class life and so are willing to give up on other things in their life to live a middle class lifestyle (importantly. These people are still working class. Just because you can afford to buy a house or a new car if you live off beans and rice for 30 years, that does not make you middle class. If it's going on credit and you know you'll never pay it off, you're probably not middle class)

Middle class people can afford new cars (often on credit but they won't struggle with the payments) they will not be the top brands of cars, but they will still be new cars.

They will have moderately sized houses, which usually they will own (often on a mortgage) (or flats in cities) often with 'spare' rooms (guest room, office, an abundance of bathrooms, gym in the garage, laundry room, dining room, playroom, a secondary living room for the kids or for best, that kind of thing) (obviously in expensive cities they will often go without this extra space in favour of location, but their homes will still be significantly larger than those in lower classes (lower classes tend to make room of all the space they have. Offices, playrooms, dining rooms ect often end up as bedrooms). In the case of multi gen living, you will often find annexes, separate houses joined with connecting doors ect, you won't find a 'I share my room with granny' situation in these homes.

They have the kind of buying power that allows them to buy new products (new technology in kitchen appliances and entertainment, a focus on quality when it comes to homewares and furniture). Children often go to paid for extra curricular clubs and activities. Sports clubs, art clubs, they may play a musical imstrument (often these clubs require equipment which the parent will purchase). If a child is struggling at school a middle Children family may pay for a tutor. They can afford to go on holidays (though they may choose not to (everyone has different priorities, it would be unusual to find a average middle class family paying for ALL of these, but they have the ability to pick and choose which ones matter to them) Again. Important side note. It is common for working class people to aspire to these lifestyle choices and they may go without or go in to debt to 'keep up'. Not everyone with a dining room or a nice fridge is middle class.

The key thing is, with a sensible budget (there are also middle class people who aspire to be upper class and will go in to debt/ go without other things to live a upper class lifestyle.) a middle class person will have the disposable income to have a variety of these things if they want them. They can afford good quality. Or they might have a low range boat (as in. Not multi millions but still pretty costly to the rest of us) or a second home. But they are STILL middle class. This is not upper class. (The middle classes do have different levels just like the working classes. Higher levels will have more buying power.) Many middle class people will have savings. If they lose their job they have the money (or possibly insurance) to bridge that gap.

We've looked at jobs and buying power/income, I mentioned above that this is really not all there is to class and that culture plays a large part.

Now this is a HUGE part of being able to break through the glass ceiling when it comes to class. A working class person can study to become a Dr or laywer. But they will struggle to break in to the middle class without an awareness of what it is to be middle class. And that will make it harder for them to get jobs, to get a place at uni, to compete against middle class colleagues for promotions and so on.

So what is middle class culture?

What I'm getting at here is. It's not just about income. It's not just about what job you have or what job your parents had. I do think it's important to point out here that the middle classes are no enemy. I think that this overly simplistic view (no attack intended! I see it on here a lot!) Stems from a lot of pressure that is put on people to see a us vs them. I live in a country where traditionally, the upper classes hold all the power. I see it as very convenient to those classes (who happen to have high stakes in most media and entertainment production) that the people with the least power are too busy fighting each other and saying 'eat the rich' about middle class people, than standing up and saying. Hold on. Who said money puts you in charge of the rest of us.

It's very easy to feel envious of the life I've described. There is no doubt that it is easier to be middle class than it is to be working class. But that does not mean that these people actually hold any power. Most of them are still 'workers' in the traditional sense. They are cogs in a machine, just like us. And as it stands, that machine has a very small percentage of the world population collecting it's output. They are collecting the fruit of everyone's work, middle classes included, just because they own the machine. And as money currently buys power, not to mention the ability to influence how the rest of us feel about that, through what books do and don't get published, what's in the news and what we see on TV, every drop the rest of us makes for that small 1% of people, strengthens their hold.

It's probably worth me breaking down the upper classes at some point. So people have a better understanding of what we mean by the rich. Who they really are. Because I'm sensing a lot of people are thinking it's anyone earning over 100k a year. Or maybe, the solicitor standing against you in court. Or possibly, anyone who owns a boat or a second home. Is it movie stars and celeb musicians maybe? No. It's none of those people. The 1% are billionaires. Monarchy. They own the rest of us. Even the really rich workers that you see in movies, they are still workers.

people change the definition of middle class every day, I always assumed it's enough money to have your bills and everything covered but not enough to indulge in things like regular vacations or expensive cars or just generally any excess use of wealth beyond the norm

[softestlittlepuffball]

That moment where you pick up the ukulele your mom bought you months ago after you expressed some interest in trying it out and suddenly it's two years later and you're overwhelmed because your special interest on music just keeps growing more and more and there's so many things you want to try and learn and do and it's all amazing and so interesting but it's also so much to the point that you don't know how to deal with it