#probably too dark for a nintendo game unfortunately

[lunavagans]

Very impulsive idea:

You know how stalfos are abound in most games? This demonstrates that 1. the undead exist throughout LoZ and 2. Ganon/whatever BBEG‘s turn it is has/could have control over the dead.

Anyway.

Shadow being a former hero that failed, died and whose body/soul is being puppeted. He doesn‘t remember anything from his life before basically being Adopted For Nefarious Reasons by Ganon. Some fairies still remember a hero long ago that befriended dragons instead of fighting them and liked to scare people, but they don‘t recognize him anymore; not that they interacted all that much with him, he had help from elsewhere. For more angst, Shadow tried to have the heroes killed in all places where he almost died on his quest because he still associates them with danger.

Now the difference between Shadow and the colours isn‘t just good/evil or different sides anymore. It‘s what makes one succeed in their quest and what makes the other fail. Extra kudos if neither ever find out what that is, because there‘s actually no reason at all. Victim-of-the-circumstances kind of situation. Shadow was screwed by coincidence and that‘s the only reason why he died and landed in Ganon‘s hands to fight the next hero, deal with it. Looking for a reason is useless.

Now, if Shadow died before his BBEG, then Hyrule would either be a shitshow or non-existent anymore (think WW). So I‘m thinking he took it down with his death, which would make his sacrifice at the end of the manga a repetition. History repeats itself yadda yadda. And if his personality stays the same overall, who‘s to say he didn‘t have a self-sacrificial streak before? Maybe that‘s why he chose to break the mirror so readily despite there potentially being a way to re-seal Vaati without his death (at least if his comment to Vio about it wasn‘t just showing off)?

[cowpokeomens]

Little One

Pairing: Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x Reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI WITH THIS!!! Anyways, we got some smut, some vaginal fingering, p in v, blowjobs, praise kink, cute pet names, lots of kissing, lots of me being h-word, enjoy folks

He’s staring.

You can feel him staring.

Part of you wonders why the others haven’t made fun of him yet- they jump at the opportunity to clown on each other, scoff when someone is being “soft.” You hadn’t risked a glance in a long time to judge the nature of the stare- was it soft? If not, what was it? Surely you aren’t the only one aware of the stare to begin with?

You do your best not to wriggle around where you sit on the floor, cuffing your sweats one more time out of nervousness. They were from some super-secret-elite-mega-ultra-exclusive merch drop, and Noah had insisted on you needing a pair, because “Who the fuck doesn’t own a single pair of sweats?” They were as comfortable as described, if not a bit long. Such was the case when clothing was designed by giants, you reckoned. 

“Lillis.” You heard a Swedish murmur, knowing the name was directed at you. You remembered the first time you had heard it, had corrected him with a polite, “Oh, that’s not my name.” You remembered his shy smile as he said he knew. You had never gotten around to asking him to translate, worried it meant “donkey shit” and would ruin the maladaptive daydream in your head wherein he wanted you back and-

Stop, you thought to yourself. We don’t go there.

You finally raised your eyes to his, dark and thoughtful and all-consuming; eyes that had been trained on you for at least half an hour. “Hm?” Was your dazzling response. 

He gave you a sweet smile, barely there. “Everyone said they were going to grab food for dinner, were you going to tag along or slum it with me here until they get back?” He leaned in conspiratorially, stage-whispering, “If you stay, we can warm up in Mario Kart and dethrone Noah.”

“As if.” Came a scoff from the kitchen, where the man in question was slipping on a pair of slides. 

“New plan: You have to stay, because I’m tired of his arrogance.” Nicholas chimed in matter-of-factly, tugging on a pair of worn-out sneakers. 

A debate broke out between them, Nick serving as instigator to both sides as Noah listed all the reasons why he was “so damn good” at the racing game. You felt a tap on your shoulder. 

He was closer now, too close for you to hide your sharp intake of breath at his proximity. “So you’re going to tag along with those goofballs?” Jolly gave you a knowing look, as if he already knew the answer. No doubt it was evident on your face. 

You returned his smile. “I think I’ll sit that one out, thanks.” Then, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the kerfuffle in the kitchen, “Y’all go ahead, I’ll hang back here.”

Nicholas hid a smile poorly, Noah outright rolled his eyes. “Figures. Text us your order, don’t do anything nasty on the couch-” He was cut off with a loud smack, voice trailing down the hallway as the group hastily exited. “Ow, fuck. What? It’s true! He’s been staring-”

You could feel your cheeks warming up as his words grew fainter. Jolly seemed unbothered, already setting up the Nintendo Switch controllers, handing you your signature purple. 

“So, unfortunately, I don’t know if we’ll actually be able to dethrone the king tonight. You know how much I suck at Mario Kart- and I haven’t played in months probably.” You admit sheepishly.

Jolly huffed a laugh at your confession, coming over to sit beside you- so close that your outstretched legs were bumping against each other. You could smell the shampoo he used that morning, cologne coming off him in soft waves, the scent of amber and tonka bean mixing with something else that was heady and dark. You wanted to burrow your face into the smell and fall asleep. 

“Fear not, älskling, we can sharpen your skills in no time.” He made quick work of adjusting the settings, then turned to you suddenly. “C’mere.”

You blinked. “I am here?”

He huffed another laugh, then motioned to the ground between his legs. “No, like, here. Come sit, I can’t help you from all the way over there.”

Your face was scarlet, you knew it. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, but you nodded and got up anyways, shuffling over to settle yourself between his long legs. Your back was rod-straight, afraid of what it might feel like to relax against his chest. His arms came up and around you, making you feel small in comparison as he placed his hands atop yours on the controller. His hair tickled your arm as he leaned forward, chin resting at the juncture of your shoulder and neck. You reminded yourself to breathe. 

“Okay, so the first thing we’re going to do is customize the car. What character do you want?” 

“Peach.” You replied automatically, not giving it a thought. 

You could feel his smile. “Princess for the princess, sounds good.” He selected the little blonde character, the screen shifting to a selection of bikes, wheels, and gliders. “So if you press this button, it’ll show you the stats for each option. You can go for speed, but keep in mind that it can be harder to turn…” He continued on as you found yourself relaxing into the lull of his voice, nodding at the appropriate times, letting his fingers guide you across the screen. Your shoulders slumped a bit, back coming to rest against his chest every so slightly, the soft material of his sweatshirt cushioning you. 

“... did you get any of that?”

“Hm?” You straightened a bit, more alert now. “Oh- uh, yeah. I want the little pink sportscar- with the stripes on it.”

“That one has the lowest speed, älskling.” You could hear him fighting back a laugh.

“The stripes will make me faster.” You argued. “And what is an ‘L-sling?’ Will it make me go faster, too?”

He couldn’t hold back his laugh now, shoulders curving forward to bump against you gently with the action. “Älskling, not ‘L-sling,’ lillis.”

You sighed, exasperated. “What does that even mean? It’s no fair, I don’t even know what you’re saying! Is it mean?” He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “Oh my god, it’s totally mean, I changed my mind I don’t want to know-”

“Baby.” You froze at the word. He had set down the controller, hand sitting lightly on your thigh. Your skin was seared where his fingertips grazed. “They’re not bad words, they’re just-” He stopped with a soft sigh. 

You decided to be brave, turning around so you could see his face. You sat back on your heels, looking at him expectantly, patiently. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He said at last. 

You looked down, cheeks flushing, fingers toying with each other. One of his hands reached out to grab yours, stilling their movement. You took a deep breath. “Okay, trade.” 

He cocked his head, confused. “Trade?”

You nodded. “Mhm. You tell me what ‘lillis’ means, and I’ll tell you something too.”

He thought about it. “Do I get to pick what you tell me?”

You furrowed your brows despite yourself. “Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Now go.”

A ghost of a smile flashed across his face. “Lillis is like, ‘little one,’ I guess would be the closest translation.” He looked sheepish for a moment, continuing, “It’s, uh, well- it’s kind of like baby talk?”

“You’re calling me a little baby?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

He laughed now, shattering the tension of the moment. “No, I’m calling you little. In the tone that you’d use with a baby. It’s-” 

“I am not little!” You objected indignantly. 

He gave you a simpering look. You frowned. He continued on, “It’s a term of endearment. Now,” both of his hands came to rest on the tops of your thighs. “You tell me something- something you would never, ever tell me otherwise.”

A million ideas flashed through your mind, ranging from domestic scenes of cooking dinner to carnal desires that you only indulged yourself in when you were at home, in your bed, very alone. Your face heated up, whether from shame or arousal you weren’t sure. Now wasn’t the time for it anyways. 

“I can see you overthinking, älskling. Spill it.” He ducked his head down to look into your eyes, and you found yourself unable to stop your mouth from opening. 

“The first time I saw you I wanted to kiss you.” You blurted, jaw snapping shut, as if the force would somehow form a vacuum that could suck all the words back in. 

He was grinning, a devilish thing that was entirely too smug and self-satisfied given the circumstances. “Oh yeah?”

“Shut up.” You grumbled, unable to formulate a witty response. 

He leaned closer, hands resting on the outer curve of your thigh, gripping slightly. “And now?”

“Now what?” You countered, unsure of what he was saying.

A smile lingered on his lips, the way wildflowers linger in the early days of autumn. You realized too late that he was too close again. “Do you still want to kiss me now?”

You swallowed once, breaths ragged. Finally, you nodded. 

Another grin. “Then ask nicely.”

Your mouth dropped open, taken aback. “‘Ask nicely?’” You repeated, rage bubbling up to the surface. “You should ask nicely! You’re the one staring at me today! Big, dumb, Swedish-”

You were cut off as his lips crashed into yours, one hand leaving your thigh to grab your jaw, the other coming up to your back to pull you against him. You melted into the feeling, your hands finding their way to his face. 

“Pretty girl,” he murmured against your lips, in between kisses. “My pretty girl.” His tongue came out to trace your bottom lip, catching it in his teeth and tugging on it. The groan you let out was entirely involuntary, legs scrambling up so you could settle in his lap. He bit your lip again, and your hips flexed into him, grinding down. 

“Älskling, we don’t have to do anything-” He mumbled around your mouth, hands pulling you impossibly closer. 

“We don’t,” You agreed, then continued, “But if it’s all the same to you, I have a lot of ideas filed under ‘things I would never, ever tell you-’” 

You could feel his grin in the kiss, large hands coming down to grip at your ass, kneading the flesh there. You whimpered, hands gripping at his shoulders. 

“Not here.” He finally broke away to pant. “Not the couch.”

The giggle that escaped you was almost delirious, the shock that this was really happening coursing through your body. He stood, pulling you up with him, guiding you both to his room. 

“Oh, we’re gonna have weird, nasty sex.” You sang gleefully. 

He laughed loudly at your antics, finally reaching his room, where he shut and locked the door quickly. You backed up slowly, until the backs of your legs hit the bed. He turned to look at you then, pupils blown wide with lust. He was in front of you in two quick strides, hands resting on your hips. 

“Tell me.” He demanded, tone not in the least bit demanding. “Tell me the ideas you have.”

You gulped, suddenly shy again. “Um…”

“Trade?” He prompted. His hands had made their way under your shirt, rubbing at the bare skin of your back. 

You nodded, happier with the agreement. “Um, well.” 

A thought popped in your head, one of the more profane on your list of fantasies. It must have reflected on your face, because Jolly’s next words were: “Tell me.”

You blushed for the millionth time that night. But, a deal was a deal. “Remember when I flew out to visit y’all in Texas? The hotel with the balconies?”

A wicked grin spread on his face, following your line of thought. “Go on.”

“I thought- I thought about you. About us. On the balcony.” You stammered. 

“A bit more detail, baby.” He pushed gently.

Bolstering your courage, you continued. “I thought about what- what it would feel like, to have you bend me over the railing and do what you wanted with me. I thought-” You took a shaky breath. “Thought about the people who might have seen me- seen us and known that I was yours.”

His grip was tight on you now as he pushed you back onto the bed. “Thank you for sharing. Want to know what I was thinking about that night, in the next room?”

You nodded too fast, desperate. It didn’t go unnoticed by him.

He was hovering over you now, nose tracing the column of your neck. “I could hear you, y’know.” You froze. “Heard you moaning and whimpering. I thought about what it would be like to be able to spread you out and have my way with you. What kind of sounds you’d make, how long it would take for you to start shaking for me. How long it would take for you to fall apart for me.” His hands were under your shirt, holding your ribcage, thumbs playing the underside of your breasts. “I came twice before my cock finally softened enough for me to sleep.”

“Joakim.” You whimpered wantonly, lust clawing at your senses. 

“There she is.” He answered softly. “The girl in the room next to mine. She kept saying my name, too- moaned it every time she came. Think you can do that again, pretty girl?” You nodded desperately. “Use your words, baby.”

“Yes.” You gasped. “Whatever you want Joakim, I can do it.”

He pulled you into another deep kiss. “If you want to stop at any point, we can, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good girl. Take off your clothes.” He instructed, standing up to watch you. 

You all but ripped off your shirt, tossing it to some corner of the room, your sweatpants following shortly after. You didn’t give a thought to your undergarments until Jolly said “Nice panties.”

A glance down reminded you that your underwear had a gingerbread man emblazoned on the front of them, remnants of an impulse purchase last Christmas. “Shut up- I’m doing laundry tomorrow.” You couldn’t suppress a grin, though. 

He crawled back onto the bed, kissing you deeply as soon as he was close enough. He leaned down and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking at it until it had hardened. You arched into his touch as he moved his focus to the other one, teeth just barely grazing the skin. Finally, you pawed at his sweatshirt. “You too- off, off.” 

You broke the kiss long enough for him to tug the article over his head, hair going in every direction. Your hands came down to tug at his pants, boxers doing nothing to conceal the bulge he was sporting. You tried stroking it through the material, but he swatted your hands away. “You first.” His tone was final. 

He pushed you back slowly, until he was fully on top of you, your legs coming up to wrap around his waist. His hips ground into you experimentally, a groan leaving his mouth. 

“Please,” You whimpered. “Joakim, please, I need something.”

“I know, pretty girl, so patient for me.” He soothed you as he snaked a hand between your bodies, running his middle finger along your slit. You moaned pitifully at the contact, arching into his touch. 

“You are so fucking wet, baby, holy shit-” His finger dipped deeper this time, running over your soaked hole lightly. 

“Stop teasing.” You demanded.

He gave you a grin. “If I was teasing you, you’d be crying.”

He thrust two fingers inside you before you could muster a response, curling them up in such a way that made your legs fully extend, toes flexing. He set a slow pace, languidly curling his fingers into you at different angles until he hit a spot that made you gasp. 

“There?” He questioned. 

“There, there, there, fuck, baby-” Your fingers dug into his shoulders, leveraging yourself as you ground into his hand. 

“That’s a good girl, take what you need.” His words were soft in your ear, the praise making you flush as his fingers continued to work that bundle of nerves inside you. 

“Fuck, Joakim, I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” Your voice broke off into staccato moans as he coaxed you through your orgasm, legs flailing uselessly against his sheets. 

You panted as he slipped his fingers out of you, tugging at your underwear until you were bare for him. He nudged your legs apart, confusing you as he dropped down to eye level with your soaked core. 

“What are you- fuck.” Your question was abruptly cut off by his tongue on your clit, lapping at the bud like candy. Your back arched off the bed as he worked his way down to your hole, tongue spearing in and out while his thumb continued to work your clit. You hands tangled into the roots of his hair, hips canting up desperately as you fucked back into his face. 

Your second orgasm reached you twice as quickly as the first one. “Joakim- I- I can’t-” Guttural moans escaped you as you fell over the precipice yet again, legs quivering as he continued to lap at you until you had come down. 

Your breaths came raggedly as you shoved your hair out of your face, sweat collecting on your forehead. Jolly came up to look at you, your slick coating him from nose to chin. You pulled him in to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips, your head flopping back onto the mattress as he backed away. 

“You done?” He prodded, sounding unsure. 

“Absolutely not, if you don’t put your dick in me I will die, Joakim Karlsson-” You couldn’t finish your thought as you both dissolved into giggles. Finally you sat up, crawling over to hover on top of him. “My turn.”

You made quick work of his boxers, resolutely not letting yourself linger on the wet patch that could be seen on the front. His cock sprung free, and you tried your best not to salivate- failing miserably. “God, it’s prettier than I ever imagined.” You whispered, wonder in your voice. Joakim laughed at you again, hands coming up to cover his face. Pretty it was. A cherry red tip mocked you, capping off a sizable length, veins protruding down the underside. Dark curls nestled around the base, not a full bush, but far from bare. You wanted it in your mouth, nay- in your esophagus. 

You didn’t realize you had voiced your thought out loud until Jolly roared with laughter, head thrown back as he cackled. You pouted until he caught your expression, laughter dying down to a smile. “By all means, don’t let me stop you from achieving your dreams.��� He gestured to himself. 

You sniffed haughtily, grabbing the girth and giving it a few experimental strokes. A soft sigh left the man’s mouth at your movements, body relaxing into the bed. You leaned forward enough to pop the tip into your mouth, suckling softly. A hand came up to pet your hair, a light grip settling in your roots. You took more of him, breathing deeply through your nose as your mouth worked its way down his shaft, pulling back slowly. You pushed yourself down again, until your nose was tickled by the curly hairs you saw earlier. 

“Fuck, baby, so good for me…” Jolly’s eyes were glued to you as you slid off, taking him deeply again, repeating the actions until his grip in your hair had tightened. You found a rhythm quickly, spit dripping down your chin as you worked him.

“Älskling, I don’t want to cum like this-” His words made you slow until you slipped off with a loud pop. He sighed at the loss. “One day- when I have a whole lot more self control than I do now- I’m gonna fuck your face until my cum leaks out of the sides of your mouth.”

Your brain went foggy at such a prospect, unable to form a coherent sentence. He huffed a laugh at your expression, flipping you both over so that you were back underneath him. One hand shot out to his bedside table, rummaging around until he procured a condom. He tore it open with his teeth, sliding it on with practiced hands. 

“You ready?” He checked one last time. 

“Yes, please, come on-” Your sentence broke off with a gasp as he entered you slowly, your already-sensitive hole stretching to accommodate his size. He gave you a few shallow thrusts, slowly working you open. “Joakim, please, I want- I want it deep.”

You could hear his sharp intake of breath, then he all but folded you in half as your legs were pushed up to rest on his shoulders. He bottomed out in one fluid motion, a feeling that had your eyes rolling up into your skull as you hands grasped at his arms. His pace was unrelenting, unforgiving as he fucked into you. You were babbling incoherently, a mixture of moans and “fuck, Joakim” filling the air. He leaned further over, somehow pushing even deeper into you.

“Does my girl like that? Is she getting fucked deep enough?”

“I- I-” You couldn’t string together words if your life depended on it. 

He placed a kiss on your jaw, an action that would have been tender had he not been fucking you so thoroughly. Your climax approached you like a freight train, until you were clawing at Jolly- arms, back, whatever you could reach. “Joakim, I’m gonna cum, I can’t-”

“Good girl, cum for me, milk my cock pretty girl.” He groaned.

That’s all it took to finish you off, back arching clean off the bed as your slick came out in spurts, legs shaking as Jolly fucked you through your third orgasm. He came shortly after, hands tightening almost painfully on your hips as his pelvis ground into you. He pulled out with a huff, collapsing onto the bed next to you. 

You curled up into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. He placed a kiss on top of your head, chest heaving with labored breaths. A hand stroked your back lazily, tracing patterns, playing different imaginary notes on nonexistent frets. 

Finally you spoke up. “So, what does this make us?”

“What do you want us to be?” Came his reply. 

“That is such a cop-out, Jolly, come on now.” You huffed.

He shook with silent laughter. “Ideally? I’m thinking a fall wedding, maybe 3 kids, I really like the name ‘Axel,’ but I’m willing to hear your ideas too-”

You slapped his chest playfully. “I meant moreso ‘exclusive’ and ‘official.’”

“What is not ‘official’ or ‘exclusive’ about 3 beautiful children together? Is this an American thing-”

“Shut up.” You cut him off with a kiss, noses staying pressed together as you pulled away. “Since you’re being so difficult, you’re my boyfriend now, and you have no say in the matter.” 

He grinned. “I guess I could learn to enjoy that.” 

You were about to reply when the front door slammed shut. “Sorry guys, the taco place was stupid fucking busy, we- hey, where’d they go?” Came Noah’s voice, faint. 

“You said not to do anything nasty on the couch.” Nick reminded him helpfully. 

“That is disgusting- hey! If you can hear me, y’all are nasty-” 

“There’s tacos whenever you kids are done!” Nicholas chimed in.

[thatvegetariangamer]

No Joycon Drift, Kirby, and Themes??!!! What I want out of the Nintendo Switch 2!

Hello Gamers and Nintendo-Nerds, welcome back to That Vegetarian Gamer!!! Yesterday, we discussed the very empty and ominous Nintendo Switch 2 reveal. Unfortunately, we don't have much information about the Switch 2, but that just means we have room to theorize and make wishes. So today, I decided to make my wishlist for the Nintendo Switch 2, including things I want fixed, games, and customization.

Fixes

The Switch was an amazing console still selling years after its launch, but it wasn't perfect. There are, of course, always going to be issues in life, but there are absolutely many changes that can and should be made to the new Switch to make it more functional than the last.

Joycon Drift was a huge issue on the Nintendo Switch, even sometimes making it unplayable. Joycon Drift is when the Nintendo Switch controllers (Joycons) essentially move in-game without player input. On the bright side, I have high hopes for the Switch 2 fixing this issue. In the first look trailer, there seems to be a focus on the joysticks, hinting at maybe a fix to this problem.

Bad Quality has been a huge issue these last couple of years. Way too many games lag or buffer, so I'm hoping with the new console, the quality will improve.

The Nintendo E-shop is just a complete mess. It is extremely laggy at first, I thought it was my internet connection, but this seems to be a universal problem. There's little to no quality control of the games Nintendo allows on the shop, with there being many poorly made games on the shop. There's no cart function, meaning you can only purchase games one at a time. This is probably my most unrealistic want, but I'm still praying for changes.

Games

Of course, this is the most exciting part about new consoles, so let's just get right into it.

Mario Kart 9, The first Switch didn't even get a real new version, just a deluxe of Mario Kart 8, so we are long overdue for a new edition, and from the looks of it, we may get it.

Animal Crossing, it may be hard to believe, but Animal Crossing: New Horizons is almost 5 years old, and the game is kinda dying off. We have gotten a new Animal Crossing for every Nintendo Console since the Nintendo 64 except the Wii U, so I definitely believe we will get a new game soon

Kirby, Kirby games are such a huge comfort to me. Something about that round pink alien hits a soft spot. The last game, Kirby the Forgotten Land, was amazing, and I really hope we get a new game soon.

Customization

I love being able to decorate and customize my tech products. I love buying cute phone cases and finding even cuter wallpapers. Unfortunately, The Nintendo Switch does not allow for this experience, with there being little to no customization options. You can absolutely still find cute cases and charms for your switch, but the actual console only allows for a light or dark mode for your home screen. So here are my wishes for customization for the Nintendo Switch 2.

Wallpapers are a must. This is the most simple customization feature to add, but it allows for so much creativity

A fully customizable home screen. I want to change the position, size, and color of the buttons and app icons. This is honestly very unrealistic, but I still hope the home screen is somewhat customizable

Themes were on the Nintendo 3ds, and I'm still puzzled as to why they didn't bring them back for the Switch. Themes were purchased through the e-shop, and they completely customized your home screen. I have no idea what possessed Nintendo to get rid of them, but they need them back ASAP

Some of these wishes are more realistic than others, but overall, I think these problems will be addressed one way or another in Switch 2. Even if they aren't, I am still going to love the Switch 2. What do you wish for in the Switch 2? Do you think it's realistic? Why or why not? Thank you for reading the daily post, see you, gamers, tomorrow.

[barramundi]

my twilight princess journey: enemies to lovers apparently

A few days ago I beat the legend of zelda: twilight princess for the first time ever!! and man...... i am not okay (positive)

I've always been a HUGE zelda fan, ever since I was a little kid. i literally can't remember a time I didn't have zelda in my life. so much i used to spend all day long playing majora's mask with my older sibling and i remember how i knew there were other zelda games but i thought all of them would look like oot/mm... and then twilight princess was announced. and i thought that was the most beautiful game I had ever seen. i fell in love with midna and i thought link was just so handsome and cool... unfortunately i never owned a gamecube and apparently my sibling was not really interested in twilight princess, so... time went by and i never had the chance to play it.

and then, back in 2012, 10 years late, 14 year old me heard of the wind waker for the first time. i immediately fell in love with the art and i HAD to play that game. i owned a Wii at the time and i remember feeling disappointed realizing WW was for the gamecube but then FEELING EXCITED REALIZING THE WII COULD PLAY GAMECUBE GAMES. i fought really hard to be able to play the wind waker. and i did!!! i played it way too much probably. i always say it's at least my top 2 zelda. sometimes even top 1, only losing to majora's mask.

and twilight princess remained unnoticed........ until I noticed it... negatively

back in the day people used to hate a lot on the wind waker because of the graphics and art style. and what they would compare it to to say the graphics sucked?? twilight princess. "TP good dark mature awesome!!! WW bad stupid kiddy game!!" UGH i was outraged. i had to stand up for my favorite game!!! before i even noticed, i already hated twilight princess.

i had some (bad) reasons like being under the impression that TP was trying way too hard to be dark and gritty and realistic and that it took itself so seriously it made it look stupid. and i would compare it to majora's mask's effortlessness in creating a depressing but beautiful atmosphere without having to be visually dark. "TP wants to be MM soooo bad it's embarrassing hihihi!!!" oh shut up you never played it, weirdo!!!!

anyways, fast forward to may 2023. nintendo releases tears of the kingdom and with it apparently the end of the old zelda format. i was so devastated and sad... ever since botw, i was hoping for a new old-fashioned zelda game; and now it would never come... but still i was longing to play a zelda game. i wanted to GET THROUGH DUNGEONS, SOLVE PUZZLES, DO COOL SIDEQUESTS FOR FUNNY CHARACTERS!!! but i didn't want to play the ones I had already played again... i wanted something new... but what!!!

i looked at twilight princess, twilight princess looked at me.... i thought "welp... i guess I wouldn't be able to run from you forever". and off i went to hyrule... or rather, to ordon village

at first I was sincerely shocked by how much TP felt like the wind waker. same engine, similar combat (but greatly improved), same sound effects, the yellow rupee... i was jokingly saying it was the wind waker's evil twin lmao

when i got to the first dungeon, it finally hit me: through all these years, what the FUCK did I think twilight princess was gonna be other than... *SHOCK*... A NORMAL ZELDA GAME?????

A VERY GOOD ZELDA GAME???? T-THE BEST ONE????

remember all that talk about trying way too hard to be dark and gritty?? dude. what the fuck. this game is fucking adorable. midna is SO cool in a sweet way, the songs are great and honestly this is my favorite link ever. i always looked at him being marketed as a MANLY MAN THE MOST AGGRESSIVE REALISTIC LINK GGRRRR LOOK AT HOW DEEP HIS VOICE IS!!!! reality: he is the cutest link. literally the cutest most adorable link. bless him forever. i want to hug him so bad............. i am going to pass out (positive)

also midna and zelda. they are dating.

so yeah, there i was having an absolute blast with this game. it has the best dungeons I've ever seen. (except for lakebed temple. i hate lakebed temple. good thing arbiter's grounds is the best dungeon in the entire franchise.)

anyways I got to temple of time and then my PC fucking gave up and i had to go get it fixed; i lost all my progress and cried myself to sleep but then i pulled myself together and went through it all over again. and i would do it again. because i love this game. i finally beat it 5 days ago and i can't stop thinking about it. might just as well start another run honestly

twilight princess has now surpassed most zelda games I've played and is comfortably sitting under majora's mask and the wind waker as my 3rd favorite zelda game. but there is a twist: i haven't played MM and WW in years and i kinda needed to play them again just to confirm or change my ranking. the problem is that i just don't feel like playing them. 'cause i just want to play twilight princess!!!

so yeah, with a new personal record of 17 years of delay, it still feels kinda weird to say that twilight princess might just be my favorite zelda game ever. 🙏

that's it bye

[aikoiya]

Your latest post about the Gerudo was very interesting. It adds a lot more grittiness and ugly realities to TLOZ universe. I feel like TLOZ would make a great adult dark fantasy novel. But alas it is a kids games(yay for fic writiers)

Thank you!

I think so, too. The potential is there, but I can't help but think that Nintendo might be afraid to utilize the ingredients due to fear of backlash from certain communities due to the Gerudo being based partially off of Middle Eastern cultures as well as Orcs from DnD & the Amazons from Greek mythology.

The problem is that all 3 of these sources have problems as societies, specifically being cultures that were or are known to participate in slavery.

And, given the Gerudo's situation back in OoT, both biologically, environmentally, & socially, is that it would've only encouraged such behavior if for no other reason than for the sake of survival.

It's just an unfortunate reality of life that sometimes people have to do things that aren't good in order to survive. That doesn't make it okay, but it makes it understandable. Which are 2 things that can exist at the same time.

I just wish that more fans would acknowledge that the Gerudo probably did this sort of thing both in OoT & in TotK's past.

Though, honestly, I think the "kid's game" thing is a bit of a cop-out excuse.

I mean, Adventure Time was considered a "kid's show" & so was Steven Universe & Gravity Falls, & they got super freaking grim. And that's just the more recent shows.

[pixelgrotto]

Sweet Nightingale

One of the neat side effects about my job writing guides for Rock Paper Shotgun is getting exposed to stuff that I don't typically touch. For example, the survival/crafting genre, which blew up in the 2010s when I was living in Asia and too busy trying to survive in real life. I was aware of games like The Long Dark, of course, and I thought Valheim looked okay when it came out. But as someone who's never been thrilled with the idea of chopping down digital trees for wood (except for maintaining my farm in Harvest Moon 64), survival games have mostly fallen off my radar.

Obviously, that's no longer the case thanks to work. Survival games are perhaps one of the few video game genres out there that remain opaque as hell, therefore making them perfect fodder for guide writing. And this year has already seen several big survival games released, with Palworld taking up far more of my mental space than I ever would've imagined for much of January and February. (My lukewarm take is that Palworld is okay. Not really my thing, but I get why people like it as both a meme game and a "I can't believe Nintendo isn't suing, because that Electrabuzz ripoff is equipped with a GUN, somebody stop him!")

But this post is not about Palworld. It is, rather, about Nightingale, an enchanting survival title made by Inflexion Games that unfortunately launched into Early Access only a few weeks after Palworld probably stole some of its potential player base. I had the chance to consume a fair bit of Nightingale prior to its release, and I also wrote a few guides on it for work. I'm not sure if it's actually going to take off - its current player numbers aren't as high as expected, and the game bristles with a special degree of enrapturing jank that's definitely not going to appeal to everyone. Case in point: half of my colleagues hated the pre-Early Access UI, which made several unusual decisions, including flipping the usual hotbar configuration present in these sorts of games. This has since been rectified, and now the UI is more streamlined and accessible, though also a bit more boring, in my eyes.

I think Nightingale sticks with me precisely because it boasts an aesthetic and setting that are very much not boring. We're talking about a gaslight fantasy atmosphere that feels a tad Neil Gaiman, if he were channeling the same stuff that inspired Alan Moore to write The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Apparently, Nightingale's concept was based on the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, which I have not read but now want to, and the game starts by placing you as an inhabitant of a late 1800s reality inextricably linked with Fae beings. A big calamity happens, and folks exploring the Faewilds are tossed into disparate realms and separated from their magical hub city, dubbed Nightingale. You have to help your character survive in these bizarre biomes, which are filled with Wonderland-style beasts and floating sculptures in the sky. Hopefully by constructing your own estate in these magical outposts and allying with other Realmswalkers, all of you will one day reach the city of Nightingale once more.

I am an absolute pervert for this sort of alternate history Victorian stuff, and if I'm going to be very frank, my initial reaction when playing Nightingale was wondering if its enchanting setting was "wasted" on a survival/crafting game. It's the sort of thing I'd expect to see in a tabletop RPG (which I would gladly play), not a game where you need to construct a sewing table and then kill 5 hippos so you can skin their hides and put those hides on the aforementioned sewing table and wait a minute so you can craft a little cape for yourself.

I'm not the only one to have this thought, and there's a whole calvacade of commentators who posted similar things on every Rock Paper Shotgun article devoted to the game. In a nutshell, it seems to come down to the fact that many outspoken individuals don't like the survival gameplay loop of running around chopping down trees so you can craft a better axe to chop down more trees, but thus far they've safely been able to ignore most crafting games because they typically take place in forests or post-apocalyptic environments that are usually pretty samey. Nightingale is not samey, which makes people want to play it and then lament that it's not in their ideal genre of choice.

Once again, I really need to expoud upon how much charm this game has. Your guide through the tutorial is a smooth talking fey with a poncy vocabulary named Puck. Umbrellas serve as in-game gliders to make you descend from great heights like Mary Poppins. And even though the basic survival loop is there - yes, you've still got to farm those damn hippos - there is a nifty tarot card system in place that procedurally generates the worlds your intrepid Realmswalker is forced to confront. It's a mishmash of ideas that really feels like it's ripped from the pages of some Game Master's steampunk world (there I go again, going off on how much I'd like to play a Nightingale TTRPG), and even though it's largely busywork, eventually you can get a rifle that shoots ice ammo and a legendary set of "armor" that's really just a Victorian tweed suit. By damnation, it's appealing.

It's this sense of originality that makes me want to play Nightingale more, and injects within me the strength to overlook the jankiness in the combat and UI that make me ocasionally feel like I'm playing a game from the late 2000s. (The first Witcher, are ya there? I'm reminded of you.) And I daresay it's unfair to say that Nightingale's eclectic setting is "wasted" on a survival/crafting experience, which is a harsh statement that probably does a disservice to both Inflexion Games and to the entire genre. While these sorts of games might not be my automatic cuppa, Nightingale actually makes me want to play more of them, and I plan on purchasing V Rising next month, which I missed out on back when it came out.

All this is a roundabout way of saying that there's power in a good setting and a striking coat of paint. Sometimes that's all we need to overlook gameplay loops that do not initially appeal to us, and I'm sure there's a whole audience out there that cared little for crafting in the wilderness but loved monster collecting. Palworld was the honeypot that probably encouraged them to look deeper into what survival games had to offer. For me, Nightingale performs a similar function.

There's also the fact that I appreciate it when games take risks and dare to step outside of the cornerstones of what's considered safe and sellable in their respective genres. Nightingale probably wouldn't have stood out nearly as much as a CRPG, for instance. There are already gaslight fantasy RPGs out there, and you can still buy Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura on Steam. But there's nothing quite like this in the survival space, and thus we have something brave and bold, unique and odd - a potent combination that compels me to stay a while in its mysterious Fae red room. I certainly hope that Nightingale survives its turbulent Early Access period, because while chopping down trees and building houses might not be what I'm immediately looking for when I sit down to play a game, stick a tophat on me and say I'm doing it in the realm of A Midsummer Night's Dream and my mind has the potential to change. It's all about the flavor, in other words, and Nightingale has that in spades.

[lorestory0]

a lot of times i will say something that is completely incorrect and stupid but also a lot of times i will just know the future. after pokemon scarlet and violet for some reason i was like "the next game gonna be in kalos im sure. i freakin love the kalos region. theres no evidence that its gonna be the kalos region at all but somehow i just know.. and then i just kinda forgot about all the thought processes and stuff. until now. it doesnt matter how many times this happens i am always gonna be surprised that i predict stuff. and its not like id share these predictions on the internet. im wrong about lots of stuff and i dont wanna be seen as some dummy that just spouts falsehoods with no evidence. but often if its something thats gonna happen in the future im correct more often than wrong me and my sister were talking about this just the other day because of the pokemon thing. how how do i just know the future what ?????

something similar happened with another game i really like. many years ago probably when me and my sister were in middle school or something. we were talking about what rune factory 5 might be like. this was several years ago. we didnt even know if rune factory 5 would be a thing. i somehow guessed the dragons in the game would be light and dark dragons. also i think at the time i heard that the people that made rune factory didnt were able to make any more for some reason and that led me to say something like if nintendo buys the game the protagonists gonna get a stupid looking hat i was right about that too unfortunately after rune factory 5 came out and my predictions were confirmed my sister reminded me of my predictions and i became known as the rune factory master. that was awesome. but then i felt the need to prove to myself that i was the rune factory master because to me, those predictions i made seemed obvious. as i was playing the game i saw a wall that looked weird and i hit it with a hammer completely unaware that there was a secret path behind there that threw me off for actual days i was having more than 24 hours of constant confusions because howd i do that

[zeldadeservesabreak]

Yeah… this is the main issue I have with people asking that Ganondorf be a “deep character.” The idea is that it will help fix the negative racial stereotypes he is associated with… but as you’ve pointed out that isn’t how to fix racism in the Zelda franchise.

If the entire concept of your character is based around the idea that he’s a dark skinned big nosed bad guy, giving him a sob story doesn’t change the underlying issues around those deeply problematic racial traits.

The ONLY way to fix the racial issues is to have Ganondorf be reincarnated as something other than a Gerudo. Do a complete race swap on him. Probably multiple times… just to be safe.

And hey, while we’re at it? Let’s race swap Link and Zelda too! Maybe stop reincarnating Link and Zelda as light skinned blonds all the time? Please?

The problem is I don’t see Nintendo doing it. And if they did, can you imagine the online reactionary freak out that would happen if Ganon wasn’t dark skinned in an incarnation? Certain sectors of the internet would flip their SHIT and make it so that no matter how good the game might be Nintendo would be too scared to EVER try that again.

It’s going to take a LOT MORE than just a compelling backstory to fix the racial issues with the Zelda franchise, and unfortunately I can’t see that happening anytime soon.

I’m so confused by the number of people who DEMAND a compelling Ganondorf. Literally we haven’t had a “deep” Ganondorf since Wind Waker almost 20 years ago. And even then his motivation was “sand sucks, I miss cool wind and water.”

And it’s weird how many people are depressed by Ganondorf’s lust for power. As if there needs to be a reason for it. Have you not been living in the real world? Shitty people who do anything for consolidating power and nothing else? They exist. They’re literally destroying the planet we all live on… right now. Ganondorf craves power and nothing else. That’s his whole deal. He doesn’t NEED more motivation.

We really need to divorce this idea that you need to feel sympathy for a villain for them to be compelling.

Like, did we not get much dialogue or motivation from Ganondorf in Tears of the Kingdom? Yes. Did I still feel super intimidated by him and freaked out by his machinations? Yes! Ganondorf is crazy and his ruthlessness comes through and that’s all the motivation I need to understand him and know why I need to take him out.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S FATE - CHAPTER 4

*Warning: Adult Content* 

No matter how many times Martin Hunter does the math, no matter how he shuffles the numbers and fudges with his margins of error, the result is the same. 

He just can't swing it. With a sigh, he shuts his laptop and buries his face in his hands. 

He'd spent the whole afternoon at the kitchen table, working at the problem but the solution eludes him. 

Flora and Miguel's birthday is a month away and they have their hearts set on a Nintendo Switch and one game each. 

He knew they probably each wanted their own console but they hadn't asked for that. 

Instead, they'd asked for one, to share and they hadn't even picked out the priciest model. 

It's not as if they'd demanded it, either. 

Martin has asked them what sort of gifts they wanted and gave them a price range he felt was reasonable for his means and their age. 

Their single, combined request was actually less than the sum of his offer. 

Unfortunately, that offer was made before prices rose and before several bills came due and before he'd made critical home repairs. 

What had seemed perfectly reasonable then now seemed entirely beyond his reach. 

They wouldn't complain. 

Even if all they got was a birthday card and a hug they'd understand. 

The thing is he didn't want to disappoint them. Martin’s ex-wife, Elena hadn't believed in birthdays and presents. 

She'd said it would spoil them and make them feel entitled to rewards. Martin still slipped in little surprises when he could, a stop at the bakery for cookies or cupcakes or an impromptu trip to the zoo. 

He'd learned not to give them things that she could take away and bore the brunt of her ire in other ways. 

Now they were free to celebrate and Martin was free to spoil them as he wished. 

He knows money can't buy happiness but he wanted to see their smiles and excitement when they unwrapped that gift. 

He wanted to give them what they want. 

He wanted them to be happy. Suddenly exhausted, he rests his head on his folded arms and shut his eyes. 

He wanted to be happy, too. 

 "Daddy?"

Martin snorts and sits up, confusion fogging his brain. 

Flora stands at his side, her hand on his shoulder and a little moue of concern on her lips. 

He realizes he must have fallen asleep.

"What is it, sweetheart? Where are the others?"

"They're fine. Nico and Rio are watching cartoons and Miguel's in his room. I told them to be quiet and not to bother you, only..." She chews her bottom lip awkwardly. 

"You were crying again so I thought you might want to wake up."

Martin looks away and wipes his hands over his face, ashamed to feel the tell-tale wetness there. 

A father crying in his sleep isn't something an eleven-year-old should witness, much less 'again.'

"Sorry, sweetie. I must have something in my eye."

"It's okay," she says, not at all fooled by my lame excuse. 

"I cry sometimes, too."

"You do?" he sniffs and swipes his sleeve across his nose before giving her a reassuring smile. 

"It's good to cry sometimes. But if you're really sad, you can always tell me, you know."

"I know. You can tell me if you're sad, too."

“Yeah.”

Flora nods sagely. 

"Do you miss Mommy?"

Martin’s smile falters. 

He clears his throat carefully. 

"Do you miss her?"

"No." 

Flora's dark eyes hold more knowledge and understanding than they should for her age and her simple sincerity leaves no room for doubt. 

"I don't miss her. I think Nico and Rio do, sometimes but they don't remember how...."

She leaves the rest unsaid but Martin understands his daughter, nonetheless. 

Flora: ‘How she hurt you.’ 

Martin’s eyes sting again and he blinks rapidly as he pushes out his chair and stands, stretching the tension from his back and checking the time on his cell-phone. 

He'd been asleep for almost an hour.

"What do you say to macaroni and cheese for dinner?" he asked Flora, changing the subject. 

"Buttered peas on the side?"

Flora brightens, her mood shifting as easily as a breeze, for which he’s grateful. 

"Sure! Can I help?"

Martin smiles. 

"Sure. I'd love some help."

Thursday afternoon is their bi-weekly appointment with Dr. Vance. 

Over the course of an hour, she talks to each of the kids individually, then to all of them as a group. 

Nico and Rio Hunter enjoy it, fascinated by all the interesting toys Doctor Vance lets them play with but Flora and Miguel understand why they're there. 

Unless Wolves want to live in weird communes, completely cut off from the human world, they have to live by human rules and human laws. 

They pay their taxes and send their kids to school, they go to work and abide by the law.  

And yes, sometimes they go to family therapy. 

It was a strange, fine line they walked at times. 

Martin had told his kids they could tell Dr. Vance anything, except that they were Wolves. 

Every session left him wracked with anxiety, afraid that one of the kids would let it slip, or say something darkly misleading, like... ‘Daddy said not to tell.'  

Something that would get them taken away from him . 

And yet, the sessions themselves were obviously helping and as long as the kids didn't hate it, Martin had determined they'd continue to go until Dr. Vance said they didn't need to anymore. 

She's sharp and empathetic and the kids like and trust her. Martin likes and trusts her, too. 

So, when she calls him into her office after the kids' sessions, his guard is only half as high as usual, despite his anxiety.

"Rob, can you keep an eye on this crew? I only need a few minutes," she says, addressing her receptionist and waving at my kids, who are happily absorbed with the Play-station in the waiting room. 

The man behind the counter, gives her a look that clearly says... ‘I'm a receptionist, not a babysitter.’ 

But he nods anyway.

Shall we?" Dr Vance asks, gesturing and Martin follows her into her spacious office, full of natural light and a jungle of potted plants.

"Is it Miguel?" he asks, as soon as the door is closed. 

"He's been a little moody but I think that's just hormones. 

He's about the right age and..."

Dr. Vance holds up a hand, commanding silence.

"Miguel is fine," she says. 

"In fact, I'd say that all of your children are doing just 'fine' whatever that means, these days. It's actually you I'm concerned for. Flora says you've been unusually tired, lately and I noticed you fell asleep in the waiting room."

Martin opens his mouth, then blinks as no good response rises to his lips. 

He hadn't expected to have to defend himself. 

He opens my mouth, then blinks as no good response rises to his lips. 

He hadn't expected to defend myself.

"I've been busy," he says, shrugging. 

"Not enough hours in the day."

Dr. Vance frowns. 

"You obviously love your children, Martin. I've never doubted that. But you need to take care of yourself, too. Have you considered seeing someone?"

Martin chokes on a laugh. 

"I'm not exactly in the market for romance."

"I don't mean romantically," Dr. Vance says dryly. 

"I mean a professional. A therapist."

He rubs his eyes and shakes his head. 

"I'm seeing you."

"No. Your children are seeing me. My specialty is children, not adults. I can recommend a colleague, if you want. Someone with a background in domestic violence."

Martin stands, maybe a little too quickly and turn away as a wave of dizziness spins his head. 

Catching himself against the back of the chair, he rubs his brow.

“I don't need to see anyone. I just need my kids to be okay, and a little more time to get settled. That's all. I'm sorry if I've worried Flora. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Martin, that's not what..."

"Thank you, Dr. Vance. We'll see you in two weeks."

Martin heads for the door, struggling to keep his stride steady and on course and he’s grateful when she doesn't follow him. 

In the waiting room, his children are still enthralled by the game console and it takes a few tries to get their attention. 

When he does, though, Flora and Miguel dutifully wrest the controllers from the younger pair, promising to let them play on their coveted Switch, when they get it and we make it out of the building without incident. 

They always get pizza on the walk home, a little extra treat to reinforce a positive association and so we stop at ‘Santo's By-the-Slice’ as usual. 

As the children each select their choices from the menu, numbers dance before Martin’s eyes and when the guy at the register asks what he'll have he just smiles and waves his hand.

‘None for me, thanks.’

"Aren't you hungry, Dad?" Miguel asks, as he helps Nico fill his cup at the soda fountain. Martin shakes his head. 

"Nah. I ate a big lunch. I'll have some healthy adult food later. Some raw kale, or steamed tofu, or..."

"Eww!" Rio howls with delighted disgust. 

A lively discussion ensues as everyone tries to name the worst 'healthy' food they can think of, most of which they've tried first hand courtesy of his brother, Monty, the only vegetarian werewolf he knows. 

Meanwhile, Martin resolves that Flora and Miguel will have the best birthday he can give them. 

It will just take a little creative math, on his part. 

He smiles as the kids eat their pizza, enjoying the carefree music of their laughter. 

Sometimes they have to play by human rules but there are some things only Wolves understand.

"We're still going to the lake tomorrow, right, Dad?"

It's Friday at last and after a long week, Martin had planned to use Saturday to catch up on 'work' such as it is. 

He'd completely forgotten about his promise to take his children fishing. 

He turns from the sink, where he'd been washing up after dinner and find Flora watching me, an empty glass in her hand. 

From the living room, the sound of the kids watching ‘Encanto’ for the millionth time soothes my nerves.

"Of course we're going," he says, dredging up a smile. 

"A promise is a promise."

Flora's expression brightens with excitement and she grins, showing off the gaps from the last of her baby teeth. 

"Yay! I can't wait to try out the new lure Mr. Foley gave me. He says he gets lucky with it every time."

"Every time, huh?" 

Martin can't help but laugh. 

His brother Dane's Pack includes a ramshackle bunch, including Ian Foley, a bear shifter who, he assumes, ‘knows his way around a fishing lure.’

"Yep. And he showed me how to side cast!"

She demonstrates the motion and a more genuine smile expresses itself upon his lips.

"You'll teach me, too, right?"

"Silly Daddy," she giggles as she opens the fridge and refills her glass from a container of juice. 

"You're supposed to teach me."

Bouncing with excitement, she dashes back to the living room as her favorite song starts. 

Alone again, Martin reaches for the sponge when the ache behind his ribs sharpens suddenly. 

Gasping, he grasps the edges of the sink as the muscles around his lungs tighten until it's hard to draw breath. 

Maintaining his calm, he watches as the sponge floats between the dirty dishes like a ship among sudsy icebergs, waiting for the sensation to pass. 

At last, the pain recedes and he hangs his head and releases a shaky breath as the tension between his shoulder blades ease. 

It's nothing new. 

If he were a normal guy, he'd have gone to a doctor by now. 

But he’s not a 'normal guy.' 

He’s a Wolf and he knows full well what's wrong with him. 

He'll be alright. 

Sure, he’s lost his Mate but he still has something to live for. 

Four things, in fact, who are all laughing and eating popcorn right now. 

They're happy and that's all that matters. 

He'll do a few extra hours of work before bed and they'll go to the lake in the morning. 

The kids will be happy and everything will be just fine.

[dancingamongstdust]

Creepypasta Scenarios - First Meeting (Part 1)

Ben Drowned

You had promised, sworn on your very life, that you wouldn’t laugh. It was an oath. One to be taken very seriously.

“Using your hand to muffle the sound still counts as laughing.”

Part of you felt really bad but that made you snicker even harder. Your best friend, at the very least, did appear extremely shaken about the entire thing. She sat on the edge of the couch with her arms crossed. Dark bags had formed beneath her eyes and her attention seemed unable to stray from the Nintendo 64 that sat between you.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “But you have to understand how this sounds. You’re telling me that you’re being haunted by a literal video game.”

She pulled her legs to her chest. The amount of weight that she had lost recently couldn’t possibly be healthy. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Have you considered talking to a psychiatrist?” you offered. “Or perhaps selling this game?”

“He would kill me.”

You picked up the Nintendo 64 and stared at the main menu of the game. It looked pretty normal to you. You fiddled around with the settings to turn the music down. “I really think that talking to somebody about this would help.”

“That’s what you don’t understand,” she said. “I want to stop playing. I want to speak to people but all that he wants is for me to continue trying to beat the game. There’s no way to win! The entire thing is rigged!”

“Have you looked up a guide?”

She groaned. “Nobody’s going to listen to me.”

An awkward silence fell over the room and you shifted around in your seat before offering some coffee. She accepted but the kettle had barely been boiling for a few seconds when her phone chimed happily.

“Oh look, he wants to play now,” she muttered. She thrust the device to you. “Take a look for yourself.”

The notification had come through an app called CleverBot. It was a very simple ‘hi’ message that didn’t really seem all too haunting. You opened it up and clicked around the app for a little. “Looks like just a chatroom,” you said. “Why’d you download this?”

“I didn’t. I just woke up the one day and it was on my phone.”

You closed the app and returned to the home screen. It immediately reopened and the same message popped up again. An identical thing happened the second time. And then again.

“This looks like a virus,” you said. “It’s probably best to uninstall.”

Clicking on the button made the icon disappear for a short while but it was quick to reappear. This time, when the chatroom opened itself, the message had changed to simply say ‘rude’.

You pursed your lips. That was suspicious enough for you to understand her potential worries. “I don’t think that it’s haunted but you should probably take it to a professional to have it wiped or something. And maybe consider less porn in the future?”

Your joke fell flat but it died when the chatbot began typing. Not too long after, another message had come through.

‘I don’t hang out in such places.’

“Can…” you trailed off. “No, there’s no way that they’ve hacked the microphone, right?”

‘Don’t need to hack in to hear what you’re saying.’

The colour drained from your face and you quickly glanced towards your friend. She didn’t seem panicked, even when you showed her the message. If anything, her expression was resigned as though this was a regular occurrence.

You didn’t get too much time to respond when a horrible static sound came through her phone. The screen began flashing and blurry images raced across it. A distorted version of the Majora’s Mask theme song started playing. It felt like your ears were bleeding. Scared, you threw the phone to the floor and, with a shattering crack, everything stopped.

For a while, you stared at it but then she said, “He’s going to be pissed with that.”

There was a chime from somewhere on your right. Your own phone’s screen lit up. Nervously, you reached over to check on it.

A single notification stood there, from an app called CleverBot.

‘You Shouldn’t Have Done That.”

Bloody Painter

The park was busy this time of day and filled with an awaiting audience – whether they were interested in watching the performance or not. Many seemed to appreciate it though, taking the flyers handed out by your group.

It was nearing midday when you ran out of pamphlets. You stretched and pushed your hair away from your face, relishing in the feeling of sun against skin.

Your gaze drifted across the park’s patrons before settling on one that you had been watching since the beginning of your performance. He didn’t look up much. A sketchpad sat on his lap and tousled brown hair hung over his face. You hadn’t caught his attention once but he had certainly kept yours.

“Can you hand me another lot of flyers?” you asked one of the other girls with her.

She handed them over and you put on your best grin before making your way to the tree he was sitting under.

He looked up when your shadow fell over his sketchbook. His work was considerably abstract and nothing that you could identify with ease. There weren’t too many colors though.

“Hello!” you greeted cheerily. “I don’t mean to bother but what did you think of the show?”

He blinked up at you. “I didn’t see it.”

The man was a master of deadpan but you didn’t allow your smile to drop. You lowered the flyer and sighed, “That’s a shame. It’s so rare that we have attractive people at our shows… you should consider coming to our actual performances sometime. Everybody loves musicals.”

He didn’t even react to the compliment. No smirk or even a blush. It was as though you hadn’t spoken one word.

“I’ve seen your face before,” he said. “You do this kind of thing quite often. Don’t you get tired of people staring at you?”

You chuckled. “I wouldn’t be in this line of business if I was too self-conscious. When they stare for too long, I like to imagine that it’s because I’m the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen.” Running your fingers through your hair, you offered him your most dazzling smile. “And if you remember me, that’s a certain compliment.”

“You can take it whatever way you want but it doesn’t mean anything.”

It was tempting to give up. Flirting with cute boys was only entertaining when they responded with… something. This boy just stared.

“So you’re an artist, right? You’d have a good point of view on whether or not I’m actually pretty.”

“My opinions on people are rarely accurate.”

His response made you uncomfortable, though you couldn’t quite put your finger on why. Something of a warning twisted in your stomach. A light had lit behind his eyes but it didn’t seem like something you wanted to tie yourself to.

It appeared it was time to give up your pursuit. “Well, I really should get going. Perhaps I’ll see you at the next performance.”

His eyes drifted to the pamphlet that you held. “Were you planning on giving me that?”

“Offering it but you don’t have to –“

“I’ll take it,” he said, putting down his pencil and holding out his hand. “Your show wasn’t too entertaining but I enjoyed watching the performance you just put on. Rather like a peacock strutting its feathers.”

So he wasn’t oblivious then… just teasing. You had no idea if it showed his genuine interest or if he was merely taunting now.

With a slight scowl, you passed it over. He tucked it into his sketchbook and then closed it, standing up. He was scrawnier than you had anticipated but he still had a considerable height – holding at least a few inches over you.

“Thank you,” you said.

He left without another word. You rolled your eyes and made a point to ignore any thoughts about him for the rest of the day. Perhaps you shouldn’t have given him your information… after all, that flyer had your full name and everything.

And you knew absolutely nothing about him.

Candy Pop

Hospitals were the worst places in the world.

They smelled too clean and looked too false. You generally avoided them as much as possible unless it was absolutely necessary. When a close family member found themselves locked within the walls, unfortunately, it wasn’t possible to stay away.

You wrinkled your nose as you walked into the room. The sterilized smell burnt you.

Most of it was what you had expected but the young, child-like scream made you jump and nearly drop every gift you were holding.

Your aunt jumped up from her chair beside the hospital bed. “What’s wrong?!” she asked, fussing over your cousin.

She was barely over eleven and had badly injured her leg during a biking competition. Your mom had told you that everybody in the family was going to visit her, encouraging you to go together in order to drop off some gifts.

“I’m sorry,” the little girl said quickly. “I don’t like balloons and I thought… it doesn’t matter. Sorry.”

You moved them behind you a little, trying to block her line of sight. “No, no, I should have asked first. You could have been allergic to latex or something and then I’d be feeling really bad about it.”

“She’s been particularly on edge thanks to these awful nightmares,” your aunt explained.

“Nightmares?” you asked.

The little girl seemed pale at its mention, pulling her blanket up to her nose and watching everybody wearily. “They’re just bad dreams,” she said. “You said that they couldn’t hurt me.”

Her mother hurriedly rubbed her shoulder and offered a warm smile. “They definitely can’t,” she reassured.

“Are they about the fall?” you asked.

“Sometimes.”

You settled down in one of the chairs as your own mother began speaking to her sister. They were able to discuss everything from the colour of grass to what they thought would be the best country to live in. You weren’t particularly interested in what they were saying and, after a while of trying to chirp in, you just let the lack of sleep catch up to you.

Your dreams came to you quickly, faster than usual and sharp in an uncomfortable sort of way.

You found yourself standing in a large field. The sky was grey and the grass tall enough to reach your knees. Everything felt bright. It hurt your eyes to stare at anything for too long.

Normally, dreams didn’t feel as such, but you were certain that this was one. There was no purpose to where you were. No inclination to walk in a specific direction or try to understand what was happening.

Just confusion.

You took a step forward and a soft wind wrapped around you. It brushed through the grass, dancing around the trees. Something was watching.

You turned and two, glowing lights floated above the ground.

Slowly, mist gathered around the two spots. As you stepped back, it began to solidify – quickly forming a more recognisable shape. The figure tilted its head to the side and a slight jingling sound filled the air. It stepped forward then and the glow faded from its eyes, revealing just what stood before you.

He was a jester, though certainly more modern than the old king’s versions. Blue hair hung around his shoulders and his entire outfit jingled with hundreds of bells. A smile graced his face and he stepped forward.

You moved away.

His smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed. The mist appeared again and he vanished into it.

You looked around frantically. He was gone. The wind picked up unexpectedly, howling in your ears. You raised your hands to shield your face and something grabbed your wrist. Before you could turn to see, you hurdled away from the meadow and awoke spluttering for air.

“Are you alright?” your aunt asked.

In the corner of your eye, you swore you saw a blue jester but, when you turned to look, he was gone. “Yeah,” you said, rubbing your chest. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Your made eye contact with your cousin and swallowed thickly. The look on her face said it all.

Clockwork

Every night, without fail, you saw her sitting there when you arrived home from work.

She always wore the same thing and, initially, you had thought that she would play on her phone for hours at a time. It didn’t appear that she had a phone, however, as you came to realise. Whatever she was holding was circular and fit perfectly within the palm of her hand.

You mentioned it to the building manager the second time she was there until like two in the morning. He had said that they thought she was homeless but, as far as they could tell, she wasn’t dangerous. You reassured him that your worries weren’t about her presence due to any perceived problem but he had just nodded.

She never moved while she was waiting. Not even to adjust her weight or brush the hair from her face.

A few of your neighbours used the very eloquent reasoning that she was merely crazy.

Occasionally, you heard children from the area parroting their parents. Rumours abound that she was a ghost who would attack anybody if they spoke to her. You scoffed each time it was said but many believed the stories.

You were arriving home late one night when you spotted her sitting in the usual spot. It was strange for you to feel anything beyond exhaustion on the nights when hospital jobs ran too long but this time, a strange anticipation settled itself in your stomach.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Are you okay?”

Her hair was dirty and her coat looked as though it hadn’t been washed for years. Now that you were close, you could make out what appeared to be dried blood on her shirt.

“Go away,” she said, shaking her head from side to side.

“I have medical experience,” you responded. “And I know some good places to stay in the area. I can –“

“Good for you,” she sneered. “Leave me alone. You’re going to make me miss it.”

The object she was holding was an old pocket watch. It looked like something you would find in an antique store and pay insane amounts of money for. Though, it didn’t appear to be working. The clock hands sat at a set time and didn’t move in the slightest.

“I want to help you if that’s okay,” you said.

She forced out a laugh that sounded as though it physically pained her. “You want to help me?!” she cackled, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “Isn’t that sweet.”

You stumbled away from her and clasped a hand over your mouth. Her face…

Her mouth was torn to pieces, jagged cuts that ripped through the skin there and had been crudely stitched back together. But that wasn’t the worst. No, the worst part of it was her left eye that had a pocket watch shoved into the socket and forcefully stitched there. The injury flared red with infection and pain.

“What’s wrong little doctor?!” she cawed. “No longer feeling like saving the poor girl you found on the side of the road?”

You steeled your resolve and straightened. “I’m still willing to offer help if you need it,” you said in your strongest voice. “That injury is severe and needs attending to if you want to save the eye.”

The eye was definitely gone and she knew it as well, scoffing at your offer. “No chance of that. Why do you people like pretending that you care?”

“I do care.”

She responded with a mocking expression and stood unexpectedly. “Sure you do.” She tapped the front of the pocket watch with her nail. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get to work. I nearly missed it thanks to your nagging. I’ll see you tomorrow, doctor.”

And she marched off into the night.

Dark Link

The vase that you were holding was beautifully polished and almost brand new. As you lifted it, something rattled around within.

“Why are you selling this for such a low price?” you asked.

The woman was middle-aged with a falsely high voice and bright, darting eyes. “It was a gift,” she said. “But I decided against keeping it. I wasn’t sure how low the price should be but it’s not like I’m losing any money.”

You decided against buying it, thanking her and walking away quickly. While you were looking through a few pieces of jewelry, your arm was grabbed and a small object pushed into your chest.

“Here you go!” you friend chimed. “Consider it to be a late birthday present!”

You took the game cartridge and examined it closely. “Zelda, again?” you asked. “I’ve already tell you that –“

“Yes, yes, I know that they’re not your thing but if you haven’t tried all the games then how are you meant to know there isn’t just one that you like?”

Sighing, you took the game and dropped it into your purse. It was dirty and definitely well used. A bit of black paint flaked off on your fingers.

Another game for you to keep in your cupboard and not look at again until months later when you were asked about your opinion on it. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t have the console you needed and the simple answer of ‘just buy one for cheap’ wasn’t always available.

But in the coming weeks, you quickly realised that this wasn’t just another game.

At first, the things that went wrong were too minor to even pay attention to. Electronics started breaking frequently until the point where you had replaced your stereo twice in a week and no longer had a television. After that, you started feeling sickly and uncomfortable whenever you were in the house. A feeling of imposing nature settled upon your shoulders.

You spent more time away from home, staying away for as long as you could. When you tried to dogsit for your brother, the pup wouldn’t even enter the house.

It was late at night when you woke up in a cold sweat. Nausea coiled in your stomach and your heart was beating at the speed of light.

At first, you had no idea what had woken you.

And then you heard the rattling.

It was coming from the next room over. As though somebody had taken hold of your desk and was shaking it as roughly as they could.

You scrambled for your phone but it wasn’t there. It was sitting in your office.

You took a deep breath and slowly stepped from your bed. Your head felt fuzzy, as though you weren’t able to wake up properly. Every step was slow and lethargic.

Stumbling toward the door, you gingerly grabbed the handle. As you opened it, your mind caught up with your body and you remembered that you shouldn’t just burst in on a potential invader.

But it was too late.

The person, for it had to be a person, stood in the middle of the room. Its body was so dark that it blended in with the shadows surrounding it. Two bright red eyes shone, illuminating enough that it showed some of the creatures ashen features. It had sharp features that were definitely human. Though as you stared at it, you knew that it was anything but.

It smiled and began turning into small squares, pixelating into the air and disappearing into something behind it.

You flicked on the light as fast as you could but it was gone. Sitting in the middle of the desk, the black cartridge seemed to emit its own darkness.

Dr. Smiley

The building was beyond restoration, crumbling and derelict. You were sure that it hadn’t been occupied for at least a decade. Perhaps even longer.

For months now, you had been going through the motions to have everything approved and organised. You had gotten clearance, hired the workers, discussed things with any neighbours, and even paid extra for the best machinery to get everything done quicker.

And now they were refusing to do anything.

“I’m sorry, and I will compensate for the time wasted, but my men are saying no,” the on-site manager said. “I know you’re not from these parts but we’ve always known there’s something wrong with this building. Rumours and superstitions abound and I wouldn’t blame my men for not wanting to anger a ghost.”

“They’ll be pissing off something far worse than a ‘ghost’ if they continue refusing to even go in there,” you snapped.

He glanced towards his workers and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Once he left, you turned your attention to the house. Why anybody would have wanted a house in this location was beyond you but now that you had inherited it, you could see potential.

Although the entire place was probably crawling with all manners of disgusting flora.

Perhaps you could use that to get the health counsel to do the job for you.

They will still talking and you could see the weariness on their faces. Sighing, you stalked your way to the front door and pushed it open with one hand. It creaked with the effort.

You stood with your hands out towards the men. “I’m going to walk this entire house!” you called. “And if your ghost doesn’t accost me while I’m there, then I’m going to be expecting you to all get on with it, alright?”

Nothing immediately jumped at you when you entered. The door struggled to open and it swung shut on its own accord. If that was the haunting that they were talking about…

A roach skittered along the floor in front of you, darting under a derelict sofa stained with an unknown substance. Several of the windows had been broken so it wasn’t surprising to find that graffiti and markers had been used to etch various names into the walls.

You walked through a destroyed kitchen, passed a bedroom with a smashed crib, and even kicked open a door that led to a filthy storage room.

No ghost jumped out at you.

Problems started presenting themselves when you walked down one of the hallways and pushed open a bedroom door. The entire room felt set apart from the rest of the place with almost-new curtains that had been drawn shut. Blankets covered the bed, dirty but still there. You immediately thought somebody may be squatting there but your concerns changed when you noticed the wall.

Black mold. It crawled its way up the side, covering most of what had once been white wallpaper. You brought one hand up to shield your mouth and stepped out, slamming the door closed.

If there was an infestation then you had to get the health department immediately. This was –

Your thoughts were interrupted by something grabbing you. Panic filled your mind as a sharp weapon was pressed against your throat.

“Well now, I just know that you don’t have an appointment,” a voice said close to your ear. “I don’t like trespassers.”

Thinking on instinct, you threw your head backwards as hard as you could. There was a satisfying impact followed by a loud yelp of pain. The weapon around your throat moved away so you kicked the guy in the shin and bolted for it.

The house felt bigger while you were running but nobody came after you. You didn’t hear any footsteps or other sounds of a chase.

Bursting through the front door, you winced at the bright light. The house hadn’t seemed nearly that dark until compared to the outside.

You collided with one of the workers in your rush and nearly knocked everybody to the ground.

“What’s happened?”

“It was that ghost, I’m telling you.”

“We warned her, boss.”

You cleared your throat and straightened up, making eye contact with each man individually. “There is no ghost,” you said. “Only a squatter who I shall deal with using police force if needed. However, I do believe any construction will have to wait because I saw an excessive spread of black mold within the house.”

They all spoke amongst themselves, discussing options. You glanced back to the house and allowed your attention to find its way to the bedroom window. Though fleeting, a masked face peered out at you from within.

Eyeless Jack

In many ways, what happened that night was your boss’ fault.

Having just finished working a double shift that ended at almost 1 in the morning, you were exhausted upon returning home. You walked past the neighbouring apartment with only one thought on your mind – sleep.

It was then that you heard a thump coming from within the house, followed shortly by a muffled scream.

Tired, you had to pause to register what was happening and, by the time your brain caught up, your heart was in full-on panic mode. You slowly reached into your pocket and dialed the emergency number as slowly as you dared, whispering into the phone and being reassured that a police presence would be arriving shortly.

Your neighbour was a young man though, just out of rehab and beginning to make his way through life. The longer you stood and waited for the police, the guiltier you felt.

So you reached into the pot plant and pulled out his spare key. After a short while of building yourself up, you unlocked the door and crept inside.

It was dark with the outside world shrouded via heavy curtains. You could barely make your way through the unfamiliar apartment and you didn’t dare turn on the light. Damn, you were extremely tired.

Part of your brain suggested that you had imagined the whole thing. It was a byproduct of a sleep-addled mind or something. That would be embarrassing to explain to the police and to your neighbour. Would you get charged for breaking and entering or could you blame it on your tiredness?

Your doubts didn’t get much further than that because somebody grabbed you from within the room.

A horrible iron-filled scent attacked your senses as you took in the bedroom. It looked like your neighbour was tied to the bed though he wasn’t moving. Somebody stood behind you, their breathing heavy and their grip strong.

They pushed your wrist closer to your back, preventing you from wriggling free of their grip. A blade, small and yet sharp, pressed against the side of your throat.

“Trying to play the hero, are we?” snarled a voice. “Have you called the cops?”

The blade pressed against your skin and you quickly spat out a yes.

“Probably right before you came in, if not earlier… I’d have enough time to kill you but then you’d be an absolute waste. Nowhere to stash a body around here and they’d comb the entire area if you were missing…”

“I didn’t mean –“

You were shoved forward before you had a chance to react. In the dark, you couldn’t make anything out and you hit the wall unexpectedly. Now, far enough away, you turned and tried to make out the face of your assailant. He melded in with the shadows and you ran your fingers along the wall until you found a light switch.

The lights flickered on and you gasped.

He wore a dark blue mask, a black ooze dripping from the eye sockets and onto his hoodie. There was no reaction to the lights. Not even a blink.

“Don’t you want to beg for your life?” he asked. “The other one pleaded nearly constantly until I shut him up.”

“You killed him…”

“He isn’t dead, just unconscious,” the man scoffed. “I try to avoid killing them, if I’m able to.”

“The police will be here soon,” you warned.

“Oh I know. That’s the only reason that I’m leaving this very minute.” He made his way over to the window, never turning to stop facing you. The bedroom window slipped open without a sound and he began climbing out. “I’d keep my doors locked if I was you. Plenty of unsavory characters live in these parts.”

And just like that, he was gone.

Glitchy Red

Your younger cousin squealed excitedly, holding the game to her chest in joy. “I love it so much!” she said. “I can’t believe I used to think Pokémon was for babies. At first when the music randomly cut out, I did think it was super weird but I’ve gotten used to it now.”

“I don’t think it’s meant to do that,” you chuckled. “But cheap versions, you know?”

It was good to see that your last-minute gift hadn’t gone to waste. You had been worried that the present’s fun would be lost on your video game-hating cousin but she had actually decided to give the game a shot. Now you had somebody in the family to speak to which was extraordinarily exciting.

“What are you meant to say to Red when he asks you whether or not he’s a joke?” she aske unexpectedly. “I know that if you say no, he goes away, and I’ve been too scared to try the other option.”

You frowned. “I don’t actually remember that part of the game.”

“Really? But it happens so often.”

When she realised that you really hadn’t encountered anything like that in the game before, she told you to wait a minute and came back with her game.

“There was one around here,” she said, loading in. “Just give me a second and I’ll find it.”

You stayed much later than you had originally intended to that night. The two of you played through a lot of the game, waiting for the moment when Red would break the fourth wall and demand to know about your opinions on him.

It never came.

The game ran incredibly smoothly. It was quite odd. There weren’t any hiccups along the way nor horror-style glitches. The music didn’t even cut off which was apparently rare accourding to your cousin.

After a while, she sighed and handed it to you. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why it’s not breaking. I’ll go make us some food.”

You continued playing while she was gone, enjoying the memories that came with the game. It was as fun as you remembered until about five minutes after she left. The music just shut off unexpectedly and, no matter what you did, it refused to come back at all. Any other sound effects worked fine though.

“So you’re just programed to break when only one person’s in the room?” you joked.

Perhaps that was a bad choice.

Unexpectedly, a loud static erupted from the console, so ear-aching that it felt like your ears began to bleed. The game took on a horrible red tint and Red appeared on the screen, a dialogue box appearing beneath his blackened form.

AM I A JOKE TO YOU?

Horrified, you immediately shut down the game and threw the cartridge as far away from you as possible. You raced at full speed into the kitchen, nearly knocking several things over along the way.

“You have got to throw that game,” you wheezed.

“What? Why?” she asked.

“There is something really fucked up with that game…” you said. “That thing with Red is absolutely not meant to happen. It felt like he was staring into my soul. You have to throw it out the moment you can. I will buy you another one but do not keep that.”

“Oh, alright,” she said, seemingly confused but nowhere as shaken as you were.

A faint static came from the living room, sending shivers down your spine.

Hobo Heart

Tears flowed down your face despite your best attempts to remain composed. “I’ve known for a while now,” you managed to say.

Your ex-boyfriend seemed shocked, though not entirely upset about your admission. “How long –“

“Since last week,” you said. “Though I’ve heard it’s been going on for considerably longer.”

He shifted his weight and took a deep breath. You recognised this behavior from the past, already hearing the words you knew were coming. The apologies and the false regret, the promises about not doing it again, and then the eventual guilt-tripping. If you heard the latter, you weren’t sure your resolve would hold.

“Goodbye,” you said firmly.

“Wait!”

You ignored the calls, making your way home at a steady place. A few people offered you concerned looks so you rubbed away the tears and took a few deep breaths.

Several months of your life had been completely wasted. You had put so much time and energy into a person who didn’t care one ounce about you.

Just great.

You turned onto your street and made your way to the house across from your own. The woman who lived there was always busy and she only came home to feed her dog before disappearing again. Thankfully, she trusted you to spend time with Bruno.

Bruno came racing over to the gate and jumped up for head scratches. He was a beautiful Afghan Hound with a dark coat and bright eyes.

“At least I know that you’ll always be by my side,” you said, running his fingers through the dog’s fur.

A tear slipped out and you quickly rubbed it away. You dug around in your bag and took out a couple treats, offering him.

A second bark brought your attention to the street.

Standing there, a small white dog with a scruffy coat stared up at you. It looked friendly enough and, after cautiously checking it out, you crouched down and gave it a treat.

“Hello,” you cooed. You gave the pup a few scratches and smiled. “How are you doing, hm? No collar? But you must have an owner because your coat is all groomed and soft. Did you get out or slip your leash?”

You looked around the streets to see if anybody. Nobody jumped out so you gave the dog another treat and brought it into the garden with Bruno to protect it from cars.

The two barked and played with little issue and you messages friends and family about the events of the day.

It was about half an hour later when the air was starting to get chilly. You stood and the small scruffy dog began barking excitedly. Its tail whipped through the air and it jumped up against the fence. A man wearing a white hoodie was standing down the street. You glanced at the dog, scooped it up and made your way to where he was.

“Excuse me,” you said. “I think that I found your dog.”

He turned to look at you and you startled slightly at his rather unusual face paint. A white skull was painted onto his face, similar to something you would see at a college convention.

He glanced down at the happy dog and sighed. “So that’s where he got to.”

“I’m sorry if you were looking for him. I took him off the street to protect him from any cars or anything.”

“It’s fine. He always shows up eventually,” the guy said. “You can just put him down. He’ll follow me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Then he turned and started walking away. You hurriedly put the dog down and it immediately bounded after him, falling into step directly beside him. They disappeared around a corner and you returned to your own house.

The day had gotten much warmer suddenly.

[scarfacemarston]

It all sort of happened quietly but the lead writer for rdr left rockstar Kojima-style bc of the similar direction the company is taking. Afterward nothing new ever came about, no dlc, no continued online content, and no attempt to even look like they were trying. It’s really sad but we’ll probably never have any official rdr game content come out again. The closest we could probably get is the writer making a new western series, since with all the grace they gave it after he left I doubt rockstar would be kind enough to let him take the IP and characters with him even once it’s completely dead.

Tbh it sort of feels like the entire gaming industry is in a dark age? I’m having a hard time thinking of one major company that hasn’t heel turned towards pay-to-win mechanics and child gambling. It’s such bullshit

Ah, that makes sense. What a damn shame. As I've said before, I was surprised their corporate minds didn't think that there is SO much money that could be made out of the series. I am still finding lost files for rdr 2, but nothing that says anything about a DLC. Just cut content. It’s obnoxious that they couldn’t even finish the story for us. Even if it would be one final set of missions

Red dead online ONE as in Red Dead Online from the FIRST Red dead game is actually still up and running and pretty active. I have the game on ps3 and I THINK those who stream it can access it as it is. You can play as ANY character from the game. IF you have access to it, I highly recommend you play it. It’s not the same as rdr 2 online, but it has a lot of good going for it. Today was the funeral, I think I heard?  I didn’t get to attend. I’m out of town for work.  Poor OC Alex and poor Abigail Marston don’t get to have their days in the sun anymore. (Actually, you can play as Abigail in red dead online 1, but still.) I have to agree with you. Gaming culture needs a revamp and it starts with the creators. People are like, "Why do you focus on so many older games/fandoms." Games are broken upon release . There are too many transactions as you said. Finally, they are too damn expensive and we can't even get the tech right. Except for Lego Star Wars which I waited for reviews, I haven't bought any "new" games. I always wait at least a year or two. Which apparently makes content "Too old". To be fair, RDR 1 was from 2010 and the 2nd one was 4ish years ago. And then fandoms can also make or break the experience. RDO has brought a lot of people together and a lot of people have made friends. I have. But the friends I have now agree with me that it's so expensive to buy games and have the time/energy to play them. It takes more effort. RDR woke something up in people. I think there are other games like that, but as things break down, that's becoming less and less. Vampire the Masquerade is my other huge favorite game series. Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines from 2004ish was a disaster but it still had a lot going for it. The community of developers still came together and VTM Bloodlines is STILL beloved and thriving. I personally am not interested in anything. Bloodlines 2 had a little promise years ago, but again, the writers were LET GO after they did a ton of the writing and they basically wanted to steal a lot of the work (FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND). A new publisher has picked it up. but I don't trust it either. It's just going to fail ad games like VTM Swansong just doesn't have the same magic, and horror. Same with the so called visual novels or IPs like Werewolf the Apocalypse. Game IPs that have been around for decades. Hell, even animal crossing and other nintendo games are going for some seriously shady practices.  It is what it is and it's so unfortunate. It really is.

[jtrokujo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐆

paring: Fumikage Tokoyami x fem!Reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none

gerne: fluff, romance

summary: Today should be a pleasant day as planned, you go to school, hang out with friends and do silly things with friends in the dormitory. However, since she was getting her period, she had to put all of that aside and spend her day alone in her room, so that's the way it was meant to be.

—

In a bad mood, the UA student clutched the covers and waited obsessively for the pain to stop.

Like any young woman, she had her period this morning unhappily so the pain prevented her from sleeping, but she planned to go on a date with her boyfriend right after school.

When the couple in love go for a walk through the city, eat various street foods, buy new clothes, and probably also new games in which they can play together and still see the sunset in a high mountain.

It's nothing special, but that Tokoyami has prepared everything gives her a guilty conscience.

Out of shame and hatred, she wrote her boyfriend that she unfortunately has to cancel the date, the pain will certainly go away, but it is clear that it would come.

After a few minutes someone knocked on the door, in a morning voice she said that the door is open and no one other than Tokoyami came, but not alone but with his classmates like, Deku, Denki, Ochako, Momo and Jirou.

Confused, she looked at her friends and waited for someone to say something, but instead of saying something, Denki threw himself on his good friend's bed and sighed that he would sleep too and made himself comfortable.

Deku and the others gave their friend something sweet to nibble on and, as they say among friends, wished them a speedy recovery.

Tokoyami stayed with his girlfriend a little longer to make sure that she is no worse than before.

He gently put his hand on her forehead, causing her to sigh softly and finally apologize, "I'm sorry. You have so much planned for today's date and what came ... my rules, but we could do it anyway, right?" "

"As long as you're not doing well, I don't want to risk anything. Besides, we could do a film marathon today, that sounds good, doesn't it?"

She nodded in agreement and closed her eyes and last heard how the door was slammed before she set off into her dream world.

TIME SKIP

After school, the boyfriend, in contrast to his classmates, made his way to the dormitory, but made his way to town so that he could buy small treats for himself and his girlfriend.

Unaccompanied, he went through the various shelves and took the snacks he thought his girlfriend would like.

When he got to the cash register, he put the purchases on the belt and waited for his cell phone to ring.

It was none other than (Y / N), he quickly accepted and ran through the city until he stuck out in front of a game store "Where are you?" immediately asked the friend.

She sounded tired, it could probably be that she just got up. "I'll probably be there in half an hour. Besides, I'm in town, are you feeling a little better?"

When Tokoyami asked his question, he walked in and saw the tons of games for Ps4 / 5, xBox but also Nintendo.

"Well, I've already felt better, but tell me what are you doing in town, it's raining all the time. You could catch a cold." worried the young friend and saw a series on her television screen that she doesn't even know.

"(Y / N)."

"Yes?"

"You sound like a mother, you don't need to say yourself, ok? If I am on my way, I will let you know or we could talk the whole time, but I have to do something important now. See you .”

"And?" asked Mina and ate what actually belonged to her friend.

Sighing, she gave in and said, mumbling, "He said he had something 'important to do' and was coming later."

"Understand."

TIME SKIP

A few hours have passed when Tokoyami finally enters the dormitory.

Some students were in the entrance and greeted him immediately, Denki approached Tokoyami and asked him if they wanted to spend the night with a series marathon, but he had to cancel so reluctantly, but why?

Because his girlfriend is not doing very well first thing in the morning, he thought that he could spend this time playing video games with her and probably watching one or the other film before that.

Tokoyami explained to Denki why he can't today, he nodded understandably and said that dinner was ready.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." he sighs and made his way to his girlfriend.

Immediately after he knocked on his girlfriend's door about 3 times, it was opened immediately, but not by his girlfriend.

"Hello, Tokoyami." Mina pleased me and immediately turned to (Y / N) who finally got up from her bed.

"Tokoyami." she said and ran up to him, but when she wanted to hug him he immediately held a bag between the gap and said "You can see what's in there after dinner."

Lovely.

Confused, Mina Tokoyami stared and felt uncomfortable between the atmosphere of the two, so she clapped her hands together and said with glee "Ok, let's eat then, don't you think?"

In the dining room everyone talked to everyone, while (Y / N) sat between Momo and Tsu and talked to them, Tokoyami sat between Shoto and Iida, who were extremely quiet.

Sometimes she forgets herself that she is also here in the dining room.

"Hey, (Y / N)!" came the voice from across the room.

(Y / N) immediately stopped eating and looked in the direction where it was coming from, Kirishima.

"Is something? Do you need something?" she asked him immediately, but he didn't look like he wanted anything.

"No, I don't need anything, but thanks for asking. I mainly just wanted to know if you're feeling a little better?" he giggled and scratched his neck.

"Oh, thank you, I'm much better now."

Without a question, everyone continued with what they left off.

Today it was (Y / N) washing up, Ochako actually wanted to do it, but (Y / N) assured her friend that she didn't have to worry about anything and that she could go to her room.

Still, someone stayed by her side and it was none other than Tokoyami.

Of course he knows his girlfriend and knows that it is more of a challenge to have to persuade her to do something.

After several attempts, he finally gave in and helped her rather than persuading her to let him do the chores.

So while (Y / N) is doing the dishes, Tokoyami dries the cleaned dishes.

The only thing I was listening to in the room was the running water, rubbing the sponge and dishes and also rubbing through the dry cloth and the still wet dishes.

The friend sighed bored and finally turned the tap on, she turned her gaze to her boyfriend, who, however, seemed to be very busy drying off.

After Tokoyami was finished, he turned around and saw his girlfriend sitting on a chair, but she was staring bored at her screen and obviously didn't notice that her boyfriend was staring at her.

"(Y / N), are we going?"

Immediately she switched her cell phone to mute and got up from her chair and asked him "Are we going to my or your room?"

"I prefer your room." he said, because, unlike his room, it doesn't look as dark as his girlfriend's.

Once in the room, Tokoyami (Y / N) asked to sit down on her bed and be patient so that he would come back in about 5 minutes.

However, it appeared again in 3 minutes, albeit with a huge bag, if she had noticed it before, she doesn't think so.

"What is it, Tokoyami?" she wondered, getting up from her bed.

"Lie down again and I'll show you."

(Y / N) sat down giggling, because she doesn't get this side of Tokoyami in her face every day until she finally remembered something, the little bag.

Surprised, she asked Tokoyami what was there and pointed in the direction of where the little bag was.

He looked in this direction and got up with a sigh, sitting on her bed he asked which bag she would like to start with.

Thinking about it, (Y / N) first decided on the small bag.

When Tokoyami handed it to his girlfriend, he didn't know what to do himself, should he look at her unpacking, should he rather start a conversation with her, should he turn on the television or shouldn't he do it at all and stare at the floor?

The best was very promising for him, which is why he opted for this variant and stared at the floor while his girlfriend unwrapped the small gift.

It was a bracelet that was sealed under silver and on top of that his name.

Slightly wounded and yet shy, she looked at her friend, who stuck his left arm out.

He was wearing the same bracelet - which of course was engraved with his girlfriend's name.

"Tokoyami, I don't know what to say about that, except thank you."

In a warm hug, Tokoyami felt the warmth that (Y / N) carries within him, and he felt his girlfriend's heartbeat beating more and more against his body from second to second.

Tokoyami patted his girlfriend's back nervously and unsuspectingly until he breaks the hug in a few minutes and shows the big bag in front of her nose and says "You haven't opened this yet."

After several minutes, with the couple busy talking and opening the presents, the convulsions came at an inopportune moment.

Groaning from the pain, (Y / N) narrowed her eyes and asked her friend if he would really like to get a hot water bottle.

Nodding, he was already on his way and came straight back into the room, when Tokoyami (Y / N) handed over the hot water bottle, he put his somewhat announced hand on her forehead and noticed that she might have a fever.

"(Y / N), shall I-" shortly afterwards (Y / N) Tokoyami interrupted him to be able to spend the night with her.

"Is it okay if we play video games tomorrow? I'm not doing so well right now." apologized (Y / N) for what she can't and took Tokyami's hand and squeezed it a little tighter than before.

"You don't have to apologize for that, (Y / N). We can also play together another time, because as long as you're not feeling well, I'll stay by your side."

"Tokoyami."

"Yes?"

"Since when have you been different?"

"I wonder about that too." Dark Shadow's voice came out of nowhere.

[pangolin-404]

Late night ramblings on legends because when i get hooked on something i don’t shut up

The game’s absolutely going to get crunched with the early release date, but I doubt it’ll be delayed (I'd be both disappointed and relieved if it does). unfortunately I sold my soul to Game Freak the second I saw both Cyndaquil and Shinx in the same game so I’m absolutely getting it

I like how it’s not part of a dual-game or whatever the term is for basically every other core ‘mon game. Like in Sun and Moon, Sword and Shield, each game as exclusive Pokemon with minor differences.

A few articles and leaks mentioned seamless battle transition but I hope that’s not true. I know it’s a small think, but something about the battle screens are charming.

I want another trailer very badly

I’m happy the game seems to be going back to the good ol “Catch ‘em all” motto. I really love the concept of being the pioneer of the region’s dex. In every game I’ve played I always get sidetracked evolving my party and catching every new thing available in each area.

i’ve never traded a Pokemon in my life so i hope those trade-only evos can be caught in the wild. please i want to complete the pokedex for once in my life nintendo

I don’t think it’ll have all Pokemon thus far and I wonder which ones it will have. I wonder if there will be new ones. Maybe Pokemon implied to go extinct later on? (Ex: “Hunting for meat is making this Pokemon’s population dwindle.”) The Pokemon equivalent of the dodo? How would they introduce a new species from a past setting?

Lore about old Pokemon?? Like Unown?? And Spiritomb??? Please????? (I think Unown will be important in the story, whatever it may be)

Ancient forms of modern Pokemon would be cool I think

How does the setting affect stuff? I want Poke Ball lore. Like do we have to make our own? That sounds so cool, having to explore the wilderness and collect apricorn. I think the Box system will be turned into a farm-like setting. Maybe the Player(’s family) lives on a ranch?

I’m 90% sure it’ll have the camp feature. It makes sense to set up a tent and cook for your Pokemon out in the wilderness. I wonder if there will be variety in food to cook, if that’s the case. But if my Pokemon must live off of curry and curry only, then I shall accept it.

I wonder who our rival will be. Will they be a researcher, too? (Who’s even going to give us our starters? I have so many questions)

Will there be gyms? A champion? I wonder how that’ll turn out. Will it be an older, more flawed system than the current one? Maybe the champion is a tyrant or smthin (wasn’t there a point in Japan where the military had rule above the emperor? probably not at all in feudal Japan, just a shot in the dark) and the Player has to defeat them idk I’m not one for that level of theorizing

in short this is the Pokemon game i’ve been most hyped for ever. it has so much potential and I think even if it gets crunched and spat out a mess it’ll still offer so many new and fresh things to the series.

[phoenotopia]

2020 October Update

So... we've launched. And our launch was... actually kind of... bad...

This is a dev blog, so I'll speak on it. But before that, we do have the game's steam page up. If you're anticipating the PC release, please do visit the steam page and add it to your wish list. It would help us a lot.

VISIT STEAM LINK

...

So what didn't go so well?

1. We launched in Nintendo's Americas and Europe territory. If you've been following the release, you'd know that America got the game first. We didn't move to launch in Europe at all since I thought the EFIGS languages (English, French, Italian, German, Spanish) were pre-requisites for Europe. By the time I learned that this wasn't necessarily the case, and attempted to course correct, the damage was done. We had half the allotment of keys to do outreach, and maybe some European outlets that would've covered us, did not.

2. When the game launched, rather than a victory lap, what we experienced was more of a public lashing. We did get some reviews that praised the game highly, but just as many reviews lampooned the game for its high difficulty or other failings. I've since released two patches (or 3, depending on how you count it) to address the difficulty. A lot of overnighters. If you recall in the last blog post, I thought it'd be a good start if we got 20 or so reviews on Open Critic. But we've only 8 as of this writing, and the aggregate score isn't so hot. So that's a fail by my metric.

3. A publisher reached out to us because they were interested in physically printing the game! Yay! But... to advance our talks, they wanted to see the game's sales numbers to ensure that there's a good chance their investment could be recouped. And unfortunately, the game's sales numbers are pretty low. They backed out :(

Some hard lessons were learned. The biggest lesson for me concerns how well we playtested the game. Looking at the original playtester list, it's a short list. You may recall from a previous blog post that our ability to test was severely hampered by technical limitations. Add to that, a lot of people on this list are objectively really achieved players. We're talking power ranked in Smash Bros, regular tournament goers, and people who've played and bested every Souls game. And as the maker of the game, I am most blind to the game's challenges.

Now, I'm definitely more of the opinion that you prioritize PC development first. I still have some reservations about some stages of PC development. But if you do PC/Steam first, you have the great benefit of being able to do Early Access, which gives you access to a greater testing pool. I now view it as an invaluable part of the equation. If we had been able to do Early Access for 1 or 2 months before release, we probably could have ironed out most of the game's difficulty and balance problems. Hard lessons, indeed.

There were a lot of other notable events that occurred over the past 2 months - the travails of press outreach, realizing my own limits as a developer, feeling defeated and getting back up again, etc. There's too much stuff to chronicle or go into detail. But it wasn't all bad.

Some good things did happen...

We got a publisher to publish for Japan! It came as a huge relief, because clearly, we don't know what the heck we're doing.

The publisher has been an invaluable source of information and feedback. They've recommended some changes to the game to improve user experience. Some of these changes I was hesitant to do at first because they concerned systems I thought integral to the identity of the game. But after trying it, I have to admit, they're good changes.

So a Japanese version of the game was moving ahead. And it looked like that'd be it. I wasn't planning to move forward with any other language translations due to the game's low sales and our funds being depleted. 

But, I was approached by a translator who urged me to move ahead with translations. He told me he was willing to work for only a small price initially and then be paid the rest after from a percentage of the game's sales until the cost of the translation was paid in full.

I was surprised translators were willing to work under such a model since it's entirely likely the game's current low sales trajectory would continue and they wouldn't earn back the full cost of translation. But I was also flattered they were willing to take a risk with me. After that, I approached some others with the same hypothetical deal, and long story short, we're now moving forward with French, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Russian translations. As for why these languages in particular, they were languages for whom I had contacts (because they reached out to me at some point in the past). And also because they were deemed more likely to be profitable based on their home country's gaming market/buying habits. I'd be personally happy to have my native language be represented, but it's not expected to be a profitable territory. But if the game does better in the future, it may justify the costs of translation. There could be a chance!

The plan right now is to get the game supporting these first round of languages and then to patch that into the Switch version as well as launch the PC version with these languages - all in December. A lot of things need to align for this to occur, so a delay isn't out of the question. It'll be busy... I'll update the blog again in latter half of December, probably near the game's PC launch date... OR to announce a delay. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Fan Support

While the past two months have been grueling, one good thing remains constant - fan art! Thank you everyone who submitted. It means a lot to me and the team!

Big thanks to Pimez who's taken on watching over the reddit community as moderator. He also combs the other communities and makes sure I see every new art piece. Despite juggling his own life and all these tasks, he still found some time to draw.

Pimez's piece reminds us that just because the new game's out doesn't mean we can't still celebrate the original flash game. The jail dog is a dog found only in jail and only in the flash game. I imagine Gail is just tossing a stick, and they're playing fetch.

A new artist to this scene æv draws both the Phoenix logo AND a super cute picture of Gail playing the flute. So precious, you want to pinch her cheek. Even the Sand Drake is enthralled!

Another new artist, beet4ppy arrives on the scene with two pictures! One features a no-nonsense battle-hardened Gail looking stoic and tough! Kinda reminds me of Vinland Saga actually. The other, a more cheerful group composition - I must say I'm a big fan of Fran's classic anime-style eye!

A returning artist, Cody G, returns with a picture depicting the tribulations of cooking. Gotta love Gail's frantic expression! I've heard the complaints, which is why we've added an option to slow the cooking mini-game down. An improved button font is also on the way.

Gamesing with two undertale x phoenotopia crossovers. Thomas being a robot builder makes sense taking a role similar to Alphys. But why is Alex dressed like a clown? Perhaps there is a hidden meaning here... 

A new artist, Warotar, draws both a pooki wearing Gail's clothes and Gail wearing pooki clothes. Awww. The pooki is a bit scary - it kinda reminds me of a tragic event in a certain anime. But the Gail is adorable!

POL#5655 submitted this one to KM's discord which made its way to me. Here, a stylized Gail appears unnerved by the dark red eyes stalking her in the background. Are they bats or something more sinister?

A new artist, MilesCPW, arrives on the scene with three rare well-vectorized arts! Love it! One scene depicts Gail balancing a bomb on her head - that's a speedrunning trick I only learned about recently after someone emailed me a video O_O

The other drawing gives us new insight into Katash - he could actually look cute if he wasn't trying to kill you.

And the bees... Okay, this one got a chuckle from me :D

A returning artist roccy_chair draws this heart-warming scene from the beginning of the new game. Aww. Mika doesn't get much screen time for story reasons, so it's nice to see her represented.

UnrealWorld_32 returns with another drawing of Gail in Panselo, this time capturing a more idyllic time. I like the tranquil nature of this piece. And Gail does in fact play the guitar, denoted by the guitar in her room.

Returning artist shafiyahh draws a nice portrait of Prince Leo - looking regal and princely. I like the storybook art style of this piece. It made me immediately think of "the Little Prince" - one of my favorite books actually!

Negativus Core returns with a beautiful group composition of Gail and the gang - flying from a Switch shaped window - totally sensible considering the game is only Switch right now. As usual, I'm impressed by Negativus Core's use of challenging angles to frame a more dynamic shot of the characters. Great job!

And it wasn't only artists bearing the banner. I'd like to give a big shoutout to everyone in all the game's little communities (from the reddit to the discords to this tumblr). I've seen this community help newcomers with gameplay and walkthrough advice, discussions, updating the wiki, and so on. It does bring a smile to my face. Thank you everyone!

[neerasrealm]

POV: Jeff the killer kidnapped you and is venting to you about his internalized homophobia

I COULDN’T THINK OF AN ACTUAL TITLE SO I WENT WITH THAT

Anyway hi this is a jeffxben fic told from jeff’s POV. a little bit angsty but mostly just cuddles and comfort. and one-liners. lots of one-liners. The ending is a lil messy and idk man I didn’t know how to finish the fic so- ignore that

Based on one of these story starters.

Word count: 1907

There are three things you need to know before you read this.

One; hi, I'm Jeff. Nice to meet ya.

Two; I killed my parents three and a half years ago. I know that's a lot to dump on you immediately but it'll be important later.

And three….I'm...gay. There. I said it. I like guys. I'm attracted to men. I want to kiss guys. Or specifically- one guy. 

He has blonde hair, dark skin and bright blue eyes. And also pointed ears. He's a ghost, specifically one that's latched onto a Nintendo 3DS and a cartridge of Majora's Mask 3D. He looks like Link- but I'm not attracted to Link. Link is a twink and that's not my style. 

His name is Ben and Ben? Ben is a bro. He's my bro. He's everyone's bro- he has that natural charisma that makes everyone like him. He's friendly, polite, funny and laid-back. He's always down to hang out with you or invite you into his room to play videogames. Everyone likes Ben. But me? I love Ben. As in- love love him. I want to kiss his goofy face. His lips probably taste like cheetos and beef jerky. Gross. I hate how much I think about how his lips would taste. 

So now you're probably thinking "hey Jeff, why are you just vomiting your gay thoughts on me? Go tell him you love him."

But There's A Problem.

My parents- the dead ones- were really homophobic. Being gay just wasn't something you did. And it still feels wrong to me- which is weird considering the fact that my new adoptive parents are two gay men and my foster siblings are mostly homosexuals. But it still feels wrong. No matter how much I'm exposed to it I still feel that slight guilt whenever I catch myself admiring Ben while he trash talks someone, and I want to punch myself whenever I wake up from a dream about cuddling him. 

So that brings me to this situation. 

Picture this, okay? I'm sitting on his bed with a controller in my hand. We're playing smash bros and having a great time. I'm having...not a good day. You remember the dead parents thing? The trauma I mentioned? Yeah that's been haunting me all fucking day and I'm not feeling good. At all. And of course I'm not gonna tell anybody about it, because that means I have to address the problem. And I never, ever, address problems. Ever. They'll fester in me till the day I die. Like maggots.

That's gross I apologise.

But- yeah. I'm not feeling good and I'm hiding this fact from Ben because he cheers me up way better when he doesn't know I'm sad. 

"Hah! Gotcha!" 

"Shit-!" I swear as my character (king k rool, in case you wondering) flies off the stage. Ben laughs and woops beside me in victory. I shoot him a glare.

"Man you suck at this game." He laughs.

"I don't suck." I spit back. "You're just really good."

"Suuure you are." The smug look he gives me makes me wanna punch him. My hand curls into a fist in my lap. I grunt at him in response. He laughs and nudges me. "Hey it's alright Jeffy," I hate that nickname with the burning passion of a thousand suns. "You'll learn how to play soon enough."

"Lay off, man." I mutter back. I drop the controller and he snickers.

"Aww c'mon don't tell me you're rage quitting on me."

"Shut up dude just-" I shoot him an agitated look. "Just shut your stupid mouth okay?"

His smile drops. "Hey, you okay man?" Shit. He sounds worried.

"I'm fine." I grunt back. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Get off."

The hand withdraws. I hear him shift on the bed next to me. "Hey, dude-" he frowns. "Are you feeling alright today? Do you- need to talk or chill or…?"

I glare at Ben. He's being nothing but supportive and kind and what am I doing? Being an ass. "No I don't need to fucking chill." I growl at him. "I'm fine, alright? Just fine."

"Alright…" it's quiet for a bit while Ben turns off the game. Eventually he speaks again. "You wanna watch a movie or something? I'm tired so…"

This is a trick. He's tricking me into taking care of my mental health. Fuck you Ben, I'll be as mentally ill as I want. 

‘’I’m gonna go to my room.’’ I stand up and immediately get YANKED back onto the bed by my hood. Ben’s noodle arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight. ‘’Dude-!’’ this is getting a little tOO HOMO-EROTIC, BENNY BOY.

‘’Stay.’’ he murmurs. ‘’I wanna keep an eye on you.’’

‘’Why?’’ I snarl. ‘’Because I’m a stupid kid that can’t look after himself?! Huh?!’’

Ben flinches. ‘’Jeff-’’ he murmurs. ‘’It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s because I know that you need the company right now.’’ he frowns. ‘’Just- lemme keep an eye on you, alright…?’’

Fuck.

Fuck.

fuuuuUUUUUCK.

Why does he CARE SO MUCH. I HATE IT. I’m gonna slam my head into a wall. Gimme a minute.

…

Okay wall slamming accomplished. Back to my predicament. 

‘’Fine.’’ I grunt. He (unfortunately) lets go of me. It’s silent. And uncomfortable. I pick at my fingers. He tilts his head at me.

‘’So- anything you wanna do?’’

I wanna hug you and kiss you and tell you I love you please Ben I’m gay and homophobic at the same time. ‘’Not really.’’

Ben puts a hand on my shoulder and scoots closer. He rests his hand on my other shoulder and...oh god I can fucking smell his hair from here- that’s creepy. Why am I creepy. Actually don’t answer that one. He looks up at me, bright blue eyes shining with kindness. ‘’You wanna talk about it…?’’ he asks gently. Normally I wouldn’t talk about my problems. Ever. But Ben is giving me puppy dog eyes.

‘’...I’m just thinking about mom and dad.’’ I mumble. He nods. ‘’They- treated me like shit. And I keep thinking about the shit they’d say to me-’’ I look down at him. He nods encouragingly. ‘’It’s like...they fucking hated me for all the shit I did- and now I’m here and people are understanding? And Slender- is actually trying to learn why I’m like this? Like- diagnosing me and shit to try and help…’’ I frown. ‘’And I’m just thinking like- if they’d sent me to a therapist would it be different? If I’d just gotten diagnosed or something-’’ I shake my head. ‘’I dunno man…’’

He sits up a bit. He hugs me, pulling me against him. My face goes fucking red. ‘’Maybe things would’ve…’’ he murmurs. ‘’But we can’t change the past...there’s no magic ocarina to take us back in time unfortunately.’’ of course he made a zelda reference. Of course. ‘’We just gotta accept what we got now,’’ he smiles. ‘’And we got each other, right? That’s something to be happy about, isn’t it?’’

Oh god Jeff don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Not here. Not in front of the man you love. 

…

And you’re crying. Good job Jeff.

I’m not a loud crier. But I am a gross crier. I get all snotty and stuttery and can’t get my voice out properly. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and silently roll down my gross scarred face. Ben reaches over and brushes them off with cold fingers. He feels cold as he hugs me but I don’t care. I wrap an arm around him and tug him closer. I can feel his breath on my neck as he gently shushes me. He sounds so caring, so...loving. Like a parent should treat their mentally ill kid. 

‘’B-ben-’’ I stammer out. He’s rubbing circles in my back. ‘’I lo-’’ wait what am I saying. ‘’I l-love-’’ WAIT HOLD ON- ‘’I love you…’’

SHIT

FUCK

NO

WAIT-

He hugs me tight and I shiver in the coldness of his body. ‘’I love you too…’’ his voice is soft and gentle. I believe him. I believe that he loves me. Genuinely- like I actually matter to him. He’d miss me if I was gone. And that- that’s a lot. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like it wouldn’t matter if I disappeared off the face of the earth. You wouldn’t care, my parents wouldn’t have cared. But Ben? Ben cares…

Which is why I proceed to squeeze the life (or lack thereof) out of him and sob into his shoulder. He holds me tight until I’ve (kinda) calmed down. He pulls away and tilts my head up to look at him. As gentle and as loving as I’d dreamed him, he wipes tears out of my eyes. I sob horsley and stare at him. He cups my face in his cold hands and smiles down at me.

‘’There you go…’’ he murmurs. ‘’See? I knew you just needed to get it out.’’ he smiles at me. I just- told him I love him. And he’s not making a big deal of it. That’s good, right?? That means he accepts me- right?

Right...yeah. Yeah, Ben accepts me. Ben doesn’t judge. 

‘’Yeah…’’ I gulp and look away from him awkwardly. ‘’Hey uh- do you wanna-’’ I fiddle with my hands again. ‘’Do you wanna...watch a movie or something? Together.’’

He nods and smiles. ‘’I’d love to.’’

And so- we end up watching not one, not two, but three movies, late into the night. And the entire time he’s curled up in my lap, comfy as can be. As the credits on our last movie roll, he looks up at me.

‘’Hey Jeff?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I love you.’’

My face goes bright fucking red. I don’t need to see it, I can feel it. I bury my face in my hands out of embarrassment. I hear him laugh at me like the bastard he is. I shoot him a glare from in between my fingers. I want to say it. I really do. I want to tell him I love him back but- it’s- it’s hard. He reaches up and pulls one of my hands away, letting him see me.

‘’You don’t have to say it back. It’s okay. I know.’’ He hugs my waist and rests his head against my chest. ‘’I can wait...until you’re ready.’’

It’s at this point I start crying. Again. 

Ben shushes me gently and runs his hand through my hair. And...as I looked down at him- it finally clicked. I don’t have to put the shield up- not around him. Ben is different. Ben...Ben is good.

Yeah.

Ben is good.

I guess...the reason why I’m telling you this- well...not telling, I guess- writing. The reason why I’m writing this is because...I feel like it’s something important. I need to remember it because...it’s a step. A step in me learning to accept myself. It sounds corny yeah but- fuck off okay? I’m full of trauma and insecurities. I’m allowed be a little sappy.

I don’t know who’ll end up reading this- I mean I’m literally scribbling it into a notebook I found in his drawer. There’s only two people who I really want this to be seen by. Ben, because he deserves to know how much he’s affected and helped me, and two...my brother. Though I doubt he’d ever find this- heh- 

I...love Ben. And that’s okay. At least- to me, I think it is.

[geekcavepodcast]

REVIEW | Metroid Dread

Hoo boy, what a ride.

Metroid Dread continues (and, Nintendo says, completes) a saga that started with the original NES release in 1986 and was last updated with Metroid Fusion on the Game Boy Advance in 2002 (The Prime series is a prequel to this story), and while it certainly feels like the end of one story and possibly the start of a new one, the game's ending itself might be one that not many fans manage to get to, despite strong sales.

Once again you play as Samus Aran, an intergalactic bounty hunter raised by bird people, as you investigate the seeming resurgence of the X Virus seen in Fusion. Through the usual story-related shenanigans seen throughout the series, Samus lands on a particular planet and finds herself stripped of most of her badass combat abilities, thus forcing her to explore the landscape, battle deadly beasts, and regain her ability to shoot incredibly powerful lasers and bombs while contorting herself into a metal basketball.

Dialogue in the game comes in cutscenes shared with Samus' ship AI, "Adam," as well as a couple of new characters who shed some much-appreciated light on not only Samus' backstory but that of the world and continuity she inhabits. From a lore perspective, I loved each new development and revelation.

From a gameplay perspective? That's a mixed bag.

While Metroid Dread plays great from a control standpoint - everything is responsive and while Samus feels more "slippery" than she has in other installments, you get used to it fairly quickly - the game's difficulty is another thing. It's almost like the team behind it found out that Dark Souls is popular, and thus cranked the difficulty way up. Metroid games aren't usually easy, don't get me wrong, but you will die a LOT to boss fights that range from "challenging" to "seemingly completely unfair." No boss is unbeatable - it's about pattern memorization and quick reflexes - and the game's automatic checkpoints are merciful and will plop you right back at the chamber before each encounter whenever you die, but the vast majority of exploration and encounters come at such a lower difficulty level that it can be jarring at best and off-putting at worst. Many times I put down my controller in frustration over the difficulty differences.

Frankly, the uneven difficulty leaves me to say that Metroid Dread is probably the best game I will never be able to 100% recommend.

The visuals are fantastic, and the final encounters (plus - spoiler alert - typical "race against the clock before a big explosion" sequence) are all worthwhile. Perhaps I'm getting to a place in my personal and professional lives where I just don't like big swings in difficulty, but I play games to relax and have fun, not feel like I'm being punished... and unfortunately, Metroid Dread made me feel like I was being punished for having "too much fun."

Rent it first. It's a must-play ONLY for the most avid Metroid fans.