#probably too dark for a nintendo game unfortunately

[lunavagans]

Very impulsive idea:

You know how stalfos are abound in most games? This demonstrates that 1. the undead exist throughout LoZ and 2. Ganon/whatever BBEG‘s turn it is has/could have control over the dead.

Anyway.

Shadow being a former hero that failed, died and whose body/soul is being puppeted. He doesn‘t remember anything from his life before basically being Adopted For Nefarious Reasons by Ganon. Some fairies still remember a hero long ago that befriended dragons instead of fighting them and liked to scare people, but they don‘t recognize him anymore; not that they interacted all that much with him, he had help from elsewhere. For more angst, Shadow tried to have the heroes killed in all places where he almost died on his quest because he still associates them with danger.

Now the difference between Shadow and the colours isn‘t just good/evil or different sides anymore. It‘s what makes one succeed in their quest and what makes the other fail. Extra kudos if neither ever find out what that is, because there‘s actually no reason at all. Victim-of-the-circumstances kind of situation. Shadow was screwed by coincidence and that‘s the only reason why he died and landed in Ganon‘s hands to fight the next hero, deal with it. Looking for a reason is useless.

Now, if Shadow died before his BBEG, then Hyrule would either be a shitshow or non-existent anymore (think WW). So I‘m thinking he took it down with his death, which would make his sacrifice at the end of the manga a repetition. History repeats itself yadda yadda. And if his personality stays the same overall, who‘s to say he didn‘t have a self-sacrificial streak before? Maybe that‘s why he chose to break the mirror so readily despite there potentially being a way to re-seal Vaati without his death (at least if his comment to Vio about it wasn‘t just showing off)?

[wmiescieinazumy]

I think about this moment a lot:

screenshotted from INAZUMA ELEVEN 2: Blizzard ❄️ Gameplay Walkthrough FULL GAME (Nintendo DS) by Kouteshi on YT

I don't remember the video time stamp unfortunately.

"(sigh) It must be nice to hear from your mother..." hit me like a bus.

Because the implication immediately is that Aki haven't heard from her mom since they had left on this trip. Since rika is in the screenshot we can safely assume this is a moment after their visit in osaka. When we add all the travel time from location to location it will be around 72 hours, and that's only travel time. Obviously this portion of the trip lasted longer than 3 days - they had to stop on the way for training, breaks, stop to sleep, they spent time at the locations when they arrived there. And realistically, the travel time will be different from what the internet suggests too - there's traffic and other unforseen circumstances to be taken into consideration.

But in truth it doesn't matter as much how long they have been gone. What matters is that aki feels ignored, dare i suggest, neglected by her mother.

Her next lines are her being concerned about her mother's well-being while she's away - giving us the idea that while she's at home she's quite involved in taking care of her mother. In isolation caring about your parent isn't a bad thing but put right next to a wistful admission of 'i wish my mom called me' is a pretty bad look for Aki's parents.

It puts into perspective her being so responsible at her age. Perhaps the situation is that she had to become self-reliant fast and turn into another parent in her household, all while being the child. In the same game she shares a moment with Fubuki later on, where he compares her to his mother, so there's at least one character who considers Aki's demeanor to be quite parent-like. I'm pretty sure there are more comments about her mom behavior, but i can't remember anthing specific. Her and Fubuki actually have a LOT of interactions in the game and it's a shame this didn't carry over to the anime.

For all her apparent openness, she can be a pretty closed off character. The kind of person you don't think is hiding anything because of how approachable they are, only to suddenly become aware of the carefully maintained distance they keep people at. I think it could have been even worse after Ichinose's "death" and her loss of contact with Domon, and it could be that only after she befriended Endou that she became more open about her emotions. More than before, but not entirely.

I realize this is a pretty negative interpretation, but Inazuma has never shied away from giving their characters bad home lives and dark pasts. After all just in this game/season we meet Kogure, who was straight up abandoned by his own mother and we get introduced to Fudou (although his backstory gets revealed in the next season).

As a sidenote, I'm gonna add that we see Aki receive calls from a bunch of people in the game (she's like their phone operator lmao). For example, she gets calls from Endou's mom and the detective. And this just makes me think of her having this small glimmer of hope every time her phone rings, thinking that maybe, just maybe it was her mom, calling to check in with her, make sure she is doing well, that she is safe and warm and fed.

She probably knows her mom's number by heart. And each time she looked at her phone screen her face would fall, imperceptibly, before she steeled herself and answered the call. Focusing back on the task at hand, pushing her feelings deep inside.

So I'm just gonna say. Aki's mother is on thin ice for me-

On an unrelated note; her hair color and shape change slightly in the sprite between the middle and last screenshot skfhsdjkf

[blueengland]

NINTENDO DIRECT THOUGHTS!!!!

DRAGON QUEST REMAKES: it's dragon quest! i'm not really an rpg guy, i've started a few of them i just. never finish them. they're fun but i'm not gonna pick one up unless it's got some kind of hook for me

NO SLEEP FOR KANAME DATE: sounds like an interesting little game, might pick it up eventually but i'm not really too excited about it. sounds like it's part of a series too so there could be some stuff i wouldn't understand just cause i haven't experienced everything

RAIDOU REMASTERED: also looks interesting! i don't really have much to say about it other than that. might pick it up eventually, i don't know

SHADOW LABYRINTH: now this one is actually cool. it takes pac man this little circle and makes a darker game around him. and it's not like pac man but dark it's it's own game with it's own identity. pac man isn't even called pac man. it's cool. i want it. sue me

PATAPON REPLAY: this is such a charming looking game i love it. it's like. a rythm game i think? but not really in the way you think of a rythm game. just go watch the trailer i can't describe it but it looks so fun

STORY OF SEASONS GRAND BAZAAR: ehhh i'd rather just play stardew valley. nothing here really strikes me and stardew just looks better in my opinion. both farming simulators, both restoring parts of a small town, both have relationship stuff. stardew has the mines. does this game have the mines? no

METROID PRIME 4 BEYOND: wow, a new metroid! i sure do love not being a fan of shooters! but, hey, if there's any shooter i'd play, it'd probably be this one. i just love nintendo! also it's got psychic powers you can use to open doors, not many games have those

DISNEY VILLAINS CURSED CAFE: sounds like a cool concept for a game, and with characters you already know! unfortunately, it's disney characters, and it's made by disney, and owned by disney. can i really buy something from disney?

WITCHBROOK: a charming little magic school game, it's like if harry potter wasn't made by one of the most hateful vile creatures on the planet! it's mostly a school life simulator with some magic themeing, which is cool if you're into that

THE ETERNAL LIFE OF GOLDMAN: iiiii don't have anything to say about this. it's hand-drawn. a platformer, i think. other than that i'm drawing a blank. if it turns out to be a 10/10 masterpiece i'll pick up a copy, but i haven't seen enough to sell me on it

GRADIUS ORIGINS: what the fuck is a gradius

RIFT OF THE NECRODANCER: huge day for cadence fans i'm sure. looks like guitar hero without the guitar but with extra hero

TAMAGOTCHI PLAZA: i think it's a minigame collection

POKÉMON LEGENDS Z-A: oh hey, it's pokémon! some cool new ideas in this one, too! eh. maybe i'll buy it. i don't really care about the pokémon gameplay too much. i'm just not an rpg guy

RYTHM HEAVEN GROOVE: wow nintendo is releasing peak media i hope they showcase tomodachi life 2 as well. oh yeah this game is cool btw. i looove rythm games. i'm also not that good at them. but i still love them

VIRTUAL GAME CARD: they're really trying to get me to switch over to digital WELL IT WON'T WORK

SAGA FRONTIER 2 REMASTERED: another damn rpg okay yeah you guys already know i'm not playing this idgaf

MONUMENT VALLEY 1 & 2 & 3: yay cool puzzle games!!!! i'm not gonna play them i'll just get stuck somewhere and cry. but they are cool!!! why are there so many though

EVERYBODY'S GOLF HOTSHOTS: they made golf fun and interesting by adding anime girls i can't believe this

MARVEL COSMIC INVASION: a beat em up!! i like those somewhat. and i also like venom peak creature design. but can i really buy something made by disney?

TOMODATCHI LIFE LIVING THE DREAM: YEAHHHHH LETS FUCKING GOOOOO i can finally play tomodatchi life without losing the game

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

it'll have been 13 years since tomodatchi life was released. this game is gonna be so fucking good. fuck yes. i love this so much. i love everything about this. where did the apartments go are we gonna be able to custimise a whole house for every mii. that's gonna be so COOL. i can't wait. i can't wait. game of the year and it's not even releasing this year

[thatvegetariangamer]

No Joycon Drift, Kirby, and Themes??!!! What I want out of the Nintendo Switch 2!

Hello Gamers and Nintendo-Nerds, welcome back to That Vegetarian Gamer!!! Yesterday, we discussed the very empty and ominous Nintendo Switch 2 reveal. Unfortunately, we don't have much information about the Switch 2, but that just means we have room to theorize and make wishes. So today, I decided to make my wishlist for the Nintendo Switch 2, including things I want fixed, games, and customization.

Fixes

The Switch was an amazing console still selling years after its launch, but it wasn't perfect. There are, of course, always going to be issues in life, but there are absolutely many changes that can and should be made to the new Switch to make it more functional than the last.

Joycon Drift was a huge issue on the Nintendo Switch, even sometimes making it unplayable. Joycon Drift is when the Nintendo Switch controllers (Joycons) essentially move in-game without player input. On the bright side, I have high hopes for the Switch 2 fixing this issue. In the first look trailer, there seems to be a focus on the joysticks, hinting at maybe a fix to this problem.

Bad Quality has been a huge issue these last couple of years. Way too many games lag or buffer, so I'm hoping with the new console, the quality will improve.

The Nintendo E-shop is just a complete mess. It is extremely laggy at first, I thought it was my internet connection, but this seems to be a universal problem. There's little to no quality control of the games Nintendo allows on the shop, with there being many poorly made games on the shop. There's no cart function, meaning you can only purchase games one at a time. This is probably my most unrealistic want, but I'm still praying for changes.

Games

Of course, this is the most exciting part about new consoles, so let's just get right into it.

Mario Kart 9, The first Switch didn't even get a real new version, just a deluxe of Mario Kart 8, so we are long overdue for a new edition, and from the looks of it, we may get it.

Animal Crossing, it may be hard to believe, but Animal Crossing: New Horizons is almost 5 years old, and the game is kinda dying off. We have gotten a new Animal Crossing for every Nintendo Console since the Nintendo 64 except the Wii U, so I definitely believe we will get a new game soon

Kirby, Kirby games are such a huge comfort to me. Something about that round pink alien hits a soft spot. The last game, Kirby the Forgotten Land, was amazing, and I really hope we get a new game soon.

Customization

I love being able to decorate and customize my tech products. I love buying cute phone cases and finding even cuter wallpapers. Unfortunately, The Nintendo Switch does not allow for this experience, with there being little to no customization options. You can absolutely still find cute cases and charms for your switch, but the actual console only allows for a light or dark mode for your home screen. So here are my wishes for customization for the Nintendo Switch 2.

Wallpapers are a must. This is the most simple customization feature to add, but it allows for so much creativity

A fully customizable home screen. I want to change the position, size, and color of the buttons and app icons. This is honestly very unrealistic, but I still hope the home screen is somewhat customizable

Themes were on the Nintendo 3ds, and I'm still puzzled as to why they didn't bring them back for the Switch. Themes were purchased through the e-shop, and they completely customized your home screen. I have no idea what possessed Nintendo to get rid of them, but they need them back ASAP

Some of these wishes are more realistic than others, but overall, I think these problems will be addressed one way or another in Switch 2. Even if they aren't, I am still going to love the Switch 2. What do you wish for in the Switch 2? Do you think it's realistic? Why or why not? Thank you for reading the daily post, see you, gamers, tomorrow.

[barramundi]

my twilight princess journey: enemies to lovers apparently

A few days ago I beat the legend of zelda: twilight princess for the first time ever!! and man...... i am not okay (positive)

I've always been a HUGE zelda fan, ever since I was a little kid. i literally can't remember a time I didn't have zelda in my life. so much i used to spend all day long playing majora's mask with my older sibling and i remember how i knew there were other zelda games but i thought all of them would look like oot/mm... and then twilight princess was announced. and i thought that was the most beautiful game I had ever seen. i fell in love with midna and i thought link was just so handsome and cool... unfortunately i never owned a gamecube and apparently my sibling was not really interested in twilight princess, so... time went by and i never had the chance to play it.

and then, back in 2012, 10 years late, 14 year old me heard of the wind waker for the first time. i immediately fell in love with the art and i HAD to play that game. i owned a Wii at the time and i remember feeling disappointed realizing WW was for the gamecube but then FEELING EXCITED REALIZING THE WII COULD PLAY GAMECUBE GAMES. i fought really hard to be able to play the wind waker. and i did!!! i played it way too much probably. i always say it's at least my top 2 zelda. sometimes even top 1, only losing to majora's mask.

and twilight princess remained unnoticed........ until I noticed it... negatively

back in the day people used to hate a lot on the wind waker because of the graphics and art style. and what they would compare it to to say the graphics sucked?? twilight princess. "TP good dark mature awesome!!! WW bad stupid kiddy game!!" UGH i was outraged. i had to stand up for my favorite game!!! before i even noticed, i already hated twilight princess.

i had some (bad) reasons like being under the impression that TP was trying way too hard to be dark and gritty and realistic and that it took itself so seriously it made it look stupid. and i would compare it to majora's mask's effortlessness in creating a depressing but beautiful atmosphere without having to be visually dark. "TP wants to be MM soooo bad it's embarrassing hihihi!!!" oh shut up you never played it, weirdo!!!!

anyways, fast forward to may 2023. nintendo releases tears of the kingdom and with it apparently the end of the old zelda format. i was so devastated and sad... ever since botw, i was hoping for a new old-fashioned zelda game; and now it would never come... but still i was longing to play a zelda game. i wanted to GET THROUGH DUNGEONS, SOLVE PUZZLES, DO COOL SIDEQUESTS FOR FUNNY CHARACTERS!!! but i didn't want to play the ones I had already played again... i wanted something new... but what!!!

i looked at twilight princess, twilight princess looked at me.... i thought "welp... i guess I wouldn't be able to run from you forever". and off i went to hyrule... or rather, to ordon village

at first I was sincerely shocked by how much TP felt like the wind waker. same engine, similar combat (but greatly improved), same sound effects, the yellow rupee... i was jokingly saying it was the wind waker's evil twin lmao

when i got to the first dungeon, it finally hit me: through all these years, what the FUCK did I think twilight princess was gonna be other than... *SHOCK*... A NORMAL ZELDA GAME?????

A VERY GOOD ZELDA GAME???? T-THE BEST ONE????

remember all that talk about trying way too hard to be dark and gritty?? dude. what the fuck. this game is fucking adorable. midna is SO cool in a sweet way, the songs are great and honestly this is my favorite link ever. i always looked at him being marketed as a MANLY MAN THE MOST AGGRESSIVE REALISTIC LINK GGRRRR LOOK AT HOW DEEP HIS VOICE IS!!!! reality: he is the cutest link. literally the cutest most adorable link. bless him forever. i want to hug him so bad............. i am going to pass out (positive)

also midna and zelda. they are dating.

so yeah, there i was having an absolute blast with this game. it has the best dungeons I've ever seen. (except for lakebed temple. i hate lakebed temple. good thing arbiter's grounds is the best dungeon in the entire franchise.)

anyways I got to temple of time and then my PC fucking gave up and i had to go get it fixed; i lost all my progress and cried myself to sleep but then i pulled myself together and went through it all over again. and i would do it again. because i love this game. i finally beat it 5 days ago and i can't stop thinking about it. might just as well start another run honestly

twilight princess has now surpassed most zelda games I've played and is comfortably sitting under majora's mask and the wind waker as my 3rd favorite zelda game. but there is a twist: i haven't played MM and WW in years and i kinda needed to play them again just to confirm or change my ranking. the problem is that i just don't feel like playing them. 'cause i just want to play twilight princess!!!

so yeah, with a new personal record of 17 years of delay, it still feels kinda weird to say that twilight princess might just be my favorite zelda game ever. 🙏

that's it bye

[aikoiya]

Your latest post about the Gerudo was very interesting. It adds a lot more grittiness and ugly realities to TLOZ universe. I feel like TLOZ would make a great adult dark fantasy novel. But alas it is a kids games(yay for fic writiers)

Thank you!

I think so, too. The potential is there, but I can't help but think that Nintendo might be afraid to utilize the ingredients due to fear of backlash from certain communities due to the Gerudo being based partially off of Middle Eastern cultures as well as Orcs from DnD & the Amazons from Greek mythology.

The problem is that all 3 of these sources have problems as societies, specifically being cultures that were or are known to participate in slavery.

And, given the Gerudo's situation back in OoT, both biologically, environmentally, & socially, is that it would've only encouraged such behavior if for no other reason than for the sake of survival.

It's just an unfortunate reality of life that sometimes people have to do things that aren't good in order to survive. That doesn't make it okay, but it makes it understandable. Which are 2 things that can exist at the same time.

I just wish that more fans would acknowledge that the Gerudo probably did this sort of thing both in OoT & in TotK's past.

Though, honestly, I think the "kid's game" thing is a bit of a cop-out excuse.

I mean, Adventure Time was considered a "kid's show" & so was Steven Universe & Gravity Falls, & they got super freaking grim. And that's just the more recent shows.

[pixelgrotto]

Sweet Nightingale

One of the neat side effects about my job writing guides for Rock Paper Shotgun is getting exposed to stuff that I don't typically touch. For example, the survival/crafting genre, which blew up in the 2010s when I was living in Asia and too busy trying to survive in real life. I was aware of games like The Long Dark, of course, and I thought Valheim looked okay when it came out. But as someone who's never been thrilled with the idea of chopping down digital trees for wood (except for maintaining my farm in Harvest Moon 64), survival games have mostly fallen off my radar.

Obviously, that's no longer the case thanks to work. Survival games are perhaps one of the few video game genres out there that remain opaque as hell, therefore making them perfect fodder for guide writing. And this year has already seen several big survival games released, with Palworld taking up far more of my mental space than I ever would've imagined for much of January and February. (My lukewarm take is that Palworld is okay. Not really my thing, but I get why people like it as both a meme game and a "I can't believe Nintendo isn't suing, because that Electrabuzz ripoff is equipped with a GUN, somebody stop him!")

But this post is not about Palworld. It is, rather, about Nightingale, an enchanting survival title made by Inflexion Games that unfortunately launched into Early Access only a few weeks after Palworld probably stole some of its potential player base. I had the chance to consume a fair bit of Nightingale prior to its release, and I also wrote a few guides on it for work. I'm not sure if it's actually going to take off - its current player numbers aren't as high as expected, and the game bristles with a special degree of enrapturing jank that's definitely not going to appeal to everyone. Case in point: half of my colleagues hated the pre-Early Access UI, which made several unusual decisions, including flipping the usual hotbar configuration present in these sorts of games. This has since been rectified, and now the UI is more streamlined and accessible, though also a bit more boring, in my eyes.

I think Nightingale sticks with me precisely because it boasts an aesthetic and setting that are very much not boring. We're talking about a gaslight fantasy atmosphere that feels a tad Neil Gaiman, if he were channeling the same stuff that inspired Alan Moore to write The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Apparently, Nightingale's concept was based on the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, which I have not read but now want to, and the game starts by placing you as an inhabitant of a late 1800s reality inextricably linked with Fae beings. A big calamity happens, and folks exploring the Faewilds are tossed into disparate realms and separated from their magical hub city, dubbed Nightingale. You have to help your character survive in these bizarre biomes, which are filled with Wonderland-style beasts and floating sculptures in the sky. Hopefully by constructing your own estate in these magical outposts and allying with other Realmswalkers, all of you will one day reach the city of Nightingale once more.

I am an absolute pervert for this sort of alternate history Victorian stuff, and if I'm going to be very frank, my initial reaction when playing Nightingale was wondering if its enchanting setting was "wasted" on a survival/crafting game. It's the sort of thing I'd expect to see in a tabletop RPG (which I would gladly play), not a game where you need to construct a sewing table and then kill 5 hippos so you can skin their hides and put those hides on the aforementioned sewing table and wait a minute so you can craft a little cape for yourself.

I'm not the only one to have this thought, and there's a whole calvacade of commentators who posted similar things on every Rock Paper Shotgun article devoted to the game. In a nutshell, it seems to come down to the fact that many outspoken individuals don't like the survival gameplay loop of running around chopping down trees so you can craft a better axe to chop down more trees, but thus far they've safely been able to ignore most crafting games because they typically take place in forests or post-apocalyptic environments that are usually pretty samey. Nightingale is not samey, which makes people want to play it and then lament that it's not in their ideal genre of choice.

Once again, I really need to expoud upon how much charm this game has. Your guide through the tutorial is a smooth talking fey with a poncy vocabulary named Puck. Umbrellas serve as in-game gliders to make you descend from great heights like Mary Poppins. And even though the basic survival loop is there - yes, you've still got to farm those damn hippos - there is a nifty tarot card system in place that procedurally generates the worlds your intrepid Realmswalker is forced to confront. It's a mishmash of ideas that really feels like it's ripped from the pages of some Game Master's steampunk world (there I go again, going off on how much I'd like to play a Nightingale TTRPG), and even though it's largely busywork, eventually you can get a rifle that shoots ice ammo and a legendary set of "armor" that's really just a Victorian tweed suit. By damnation, it's appealing.

It's this sense of originality that makes me want to play Nightingale more, and injects within me the strength to overlook the jankiness in the combat and UI that make me ocasionally feel like I'm playing a game from the late 2000s. (The first Witcher, are ya there? I'm reminded of you.) And I daresay it's unfair to say that Nightingale's eclectic setting is "wasted" on a survival/crafting experience, which is a harsh statement that probably does a disservice to both Inflexion Games and to the entire genre. While these sorts of games might not be my automatic cuppa, Nightingale actually makes me want to play more of them, and I plan on purchasing V Rising next month, which I missed out on back when it came out.

All this is a roundabout way of saying that there's power in a good setting and a striking coat of paint. Sometimes that's all we need to overlook gameplay loops that do not initially appeal to us, and I'm sure there's a whole audience out there that cared little for crafting in the wilderness but loved monster collecting. Palworld was the honeypot that probably encouraged them to look deeper into what survival games had to offer. For me, Nightingale performs a similar function.

There's also the fact that I appreciate it when games take risks and dare to step outside of the cornerstones of what's considered safe and sellable in their respective genres. Nightingale probably wouldn't have stood out nearly as much as a CRPG, for instance. There are already gaslight fantasy RPGs out there, and you can still buy Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura on Steam. But there's nothing quite like this in the survival space, and thus we have something brave and bold, unique and odd - a potent combination that compels me to stay a while in its mysterious Fae red room. I certainly hope that Nightingale survives its turbulent Early Access period, because while chopping down trees and building houses might not be what I'm immediately looking for when I sit down to play a game, stick a tophat on me and say I'm doing it in the realm of A Midsummer Night's Dream and my mind has the potential to change. It's all about the flavor, in other words, and Nightingale has that in spades.

[lorestory0]

a lot of times i will say something that is completely incorrect and stupid but also a lot of times i will just know the future. after pokemon scarlet and violet for some reason i was like "the next game gonna be in kalos im sure. i freakin love the kalos region. theres no evidence that its gonna be the kalos region at all but somehow i just know.. and then i just kinda forgot about all the thought processes and stuff. until now. it doesnt matter how many times this happens i am always gonna be surprised that i predict stuff. and its not like id share these predictions on the internet. im wrong about lots of stuff and i dont wanna be seen as some dummy that just spouts falsehoods with no evidence. but often if its something thats gonna happen in the future im correct more often than wrong me and my sister were talking about this just the other day because of the pokemon thing. how how do i just know the future what ?????

something similar happened with another game i really like. many years ago probably when me and my sister were in middle school or something. we were talking about what rune factory 5 might be like. this was several years ago. we didnt even know if rune factory 5 would be a thing. i somehow guessed the dragons in the game would be light and dark dragons. also i think at the time i heard that the people that made rune factory didnt were able to make any more for some reason and that led me to say something like if nintendo buys the game the protagonists gonna get a stupid looking hat i was right about that too unfortunately after rune factory 5 came out and my predictions were confirmed my sister reminded me of my predictions and i became known as the rune factory master. that was awesome. but then i felt the need to prove to myself that i was the rune factory master because to me, those predictions i made seemed obvious. as i was playing the game i saw a wall that looked weird and i hit it with a hammer completely unaware that there was a secret path behind there that threw me off for actual days i was having more than 24 hours of constant confusions because howd i do that

[zeldadeservesabreak]

Yeah… this is the main issue I have with people asking that Ganondorf be a “deep character.” The idea is that it will help fix the negative racial stereotypes he is associated with… but as you’ve pointed out that isn’t how to fix racism in the Zelda franchise.

If the entire concept of your character is based around the idea that he’s a dark skinned big nosed bad guy, giving him a sob story doesn’t change the underlying issues around those deeply problematic racial traits.

The ONLY way to fix the racial issues is to have Ganondorf be reincarnated as something other than a Gerudo. Do a complete race swap on him. Probably multiple times… just to be safe.

And hey, while we’re at it? Let’s race swap Link and Zelda too! Maybe stop reincarnating Link and Zelda as light skinned blonds all the time? Please?

The problem is I don’t see Nintendo doing it. And if they did, can you imagine the online reactionary freak out that would happen if Ganon wasn’t dark skinned in an incarnation? Certain sectors of the internet would flip their SHIT and make it so that no matter how good the game might be Nintendo would be too scared to EVER try that again.

It’s going to take a LOT MORE than just a compelling backstory to fix the racial issues with the Zelda franchise, and unfortunately I can’t see that happening anytime soon.

I’m so confused by the number of people who DEMAND a compelling Ganondorf. Literally we haven’t had a “deep” Ganondorf since Wind Waker almost 20 years ago. And even then his motivation was “sand sucks, I miss cool wind and water.”

And it’s weird how many people are depressed by Ganondorf’s lust for power. As if there needs to be a reason for it. Have you not been living in the real world? Shitty people who do anything for consolidating power and nothing else? They exist. They’re literally destroying the planet we all live on… right now. Ganondorf craves power and nothing else. That’s his whole deal. He doesn’t NEED more motivation.

We really need to divorce this idea that you need to feel sympathy for a villain for them to be compelling.

Like, did we not get much dialogue or motivation from Ganondorf in Tears of the Kingdom? Yes. Did I still feel super intimidated by him and freaked out by his machinations? Yes! Ganondorf is crazy and his ruthlessness comes through and that’s all the motivation I need to understand him and know why I need to take him out.

[scarfacemarston]

It all sort of happened quietly but the lead writer for rdr left rockstar Kojima-style bc of the similar direction the company is taking. Afterward nothing new ever came about, no dlc, no continued online content, and no attempt to even look like they were trying. It’s really sad but we’ll probably never have any official rdr game content come out again. The closest we could probably get is the writer making a new western series, since with all the grace they gave it after he left I doubt rockstar would be kind enough to let him take the IP and characters with him even once it’s completely dead.

Tbh it sort of feels like the entire gaming industry is in a dark age? I’m having a hard time thinking of one major company that hasn’t heel turned towards pay-to-win mechanics and child gambling. It’s such bullshit

Ah, that makes sense. What a damn shame. As I've said before, I was surprised their corporate minds didn't think that there is SO much money that could be made out of the series. I am still finding lost files for rdr 2, but nothing that says anything about a DLC. Just cut content. It’s obnoxious that they couldn’t even finish the story for us. Even if it would be one final set of missions

Red dead online ONE as in Red Dead Online from the FIRST Red dead game is actually still up and running and pretty active. I have the game on ps3 and I THINK those who stream it can access it as it is. You can play as ANY character from the game. IF you have access to it, I highly recommend you play it. It’s not the same as rdr 2 online, but it has a lot of good going for it. Today was the funeral, I think I heard?  I didn’t get to attend. I’m out of town for work.  Poor OC Alex and poor Abigail Marston don’t get to have their days in the sun anymore. (Actually, you can play as Abigail in red dead online 1, but still.) I have to agree with you. Gaming culture needs a revamp and it starts with the creators. People are like, "Why do you focus on so many older games/fandoms." Games are broken upon release . There are too many transactions as you said. Finally, they are too damn expensive and we can't even get the tech right. Except for Lego Star Wars which I waited for reviews, I haven't bought any "new" games. I always wait at least a year or two. Which apparently makes content "Too old". To be fair, RDR 1 was from 2010 and the 2nd one was 4ish years ago. And then fandoms can also make or break the experience. RDO has brought a lot of people together and a lot of people have made friends. I have. But the friends I have now agree with me that it's so expensive to buy games and have the time/energy to play them. It takes more effort. RDR woke something up in people. I think there are other games like that, but as things break down, that's becoming less and less. Vampire the Masquerade is my other huge favorite game series. Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines from 2004ish was a disaster but it still had a lot going for it. The community of developers still came together and VTM Bloodlines is STILL beloved and thriving. I personally am not interested in anything. Bloodlines 2 had a little promise years ago, but again, the writers were LET GO after they did a ton of the writing and they basically wanted to steal a lot of the work (FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND). A new publisher has picked it up. but I don't trust it either. It's just going to fail ad games like VTM Swansong just doesn't have the same magic, and horror. Same with the so called visual novels or IPs like Werewolf the Apocalypse. Game IPs that have been around for decades. Hell, even animal crossing and other nintendo games are going for some seriously shady practices.  It is what it is and it's so unfortunate. It really is.

[jtrokujo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐆

paring: Fumikage Tokoyami x fem!Reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none

gerne: fluff, romance

summary: Today should be a pleasant day as planned, you go to school, hang out with friends and do silly things with friends in the dormitory. However, since she was getting her period, she had to put all of that aside and spend her day alone in her room, so that's the way it was meant to be.

—

In a bad mood, the UA student clutched the covers and waited obsessively for the pain to stop.

Like any young woman, she had her period this morning unhappily so the pain prevented her from sleeping, but she planned to go on a date with her boyfriend right after school.

When the couple in love go for a walk through the city, eat various street foods, buy new clothes, and probably also new games in which they can play together and still see the sunset in a high mountain.

It's nothing special, but that Tokoyami has prepared everything gives her a guilty conscience.

Out of shame and hatred, she wrote her boyfriend that she unfortunately has to cancel the date, the pain will certainly go away, but it is clear that it would come.

After a few minutes someone knocked on the door, in a morning voice she said that the door is open and no one other than Tokoyami came, but not alone but with his classmates like, Deku, Denki, Ochako, Momo and Jirou.

Confused, she looked at her friends and waited for someone to say something, but instead of saying something, Denki threw himself on his good friend's bed and sighed that he would sleep too and made himself comfortable.

Deku and the others gave their friend something sweet to nibble on and, as they say among friends, wished them a speedy recovery.

Tokoyami stayed with his girlfriend a little longer to make sure that she is no worse than before.

He gently put his hand on her forehead, causing her to sigh softly and finally apologize, "I'm sorry. You have so much planned for today's date and what came ... my rules, but we could do it anyway, right?" "

"As long as you're not doing well, I don't want to risk anything. Besides, we could do a film marathon today, that sounds good, doesn't it?"

She nodded in agreement and closed her eyes and last heard how the door was slammed before she set off into her dream world.

TIME SKIP

After school, the boyfriend, in contrast to his classmates, made his way to the dormitory, but made his way to town so that he could buy small treats for himself and his girlfriend.

Unaccompanied, he went through the various shelves and took the snacks he thought his girlfriend would like.

When he got to the cash register, he put the purchases on the belt and waited for his cell phone to ring.

It was none other than (Y / N), he quickly accepted and ran through the city until he stuck out in front of a game store "Where are you?" immediately asked the friend.

She sounded tired, it could probably be that she just got up. "I'll probably be there in half an hour. Besides, I'm in town, are you feeling a little better?"

When Tokoyami asked his question, he walked in and saw the tons of games for Ps4 / 5, xBox but also Nintendo.

"Well, I've already felt better, but tell me what are you doing in town, it's raining all the time. You could catch a cold." worried the young friend and saw a series on her television screen that she doesn't even know.

"(Y / N)."

"Yes?"

"You sound like a mother, you don't need to say yourself, ok? If I am on my way, I will let you know or we could talk the whole time, but I have to do something important now. See you .”

"And?" asked Mina and ate what actually belonged to her friend.

Sighing, she gave in and said, mumbling, "He said he had something 'important to do' and was coming later."

"Understand."

TIME SKIP

A few hours have passed when Tokoyami finally enters the dormitory.

Some students were in the entrance and greeted him immediately, Denki approached Tokoyami and asked him if they wanted to spend the night with a series marathon, but he had to cancel so reluctantly, but why?

Because his girlfriend is not doing very well first thing in the morning, he thought that he could spend this time playing video games with her and probably watching one or the other film before that.

Tokoyami explained to Denki why he can't today, he nodded understandably and said that dinner was ready.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." he sighs and made his way to his girlfriend.

Immediately after he knocked on his girlfriend's door about 3 times, it was opened immediately, but not by his girlfriend.

"Hello, Tokoyami." Mina pleased me and immediately turned to (Y / N) who finally got up from her bed.

"Tokoyami." she said and ran up to him, but when she wanted to hug him he immediately held a bag between the gap and said "You can see what's in there after dinner."

Lovely.

Confused, Mina Tokoyami stared and felt uncomfortable between the atmosphere of the two, so she clapped her hands together and said with glee "Ok, let's eat then, don't you think?"

In the dining room everyone talked to everyone, while (Y / N) sat between Momo and Tsu and talked to them, Tokoyami sat between Shoto and Iida, who were extremely quiet.

Sometimes she forgets herself that she is also here in the dining room.

"Hey, (Y / N)!" came the voice from across the room.

(Y / N) immediately stopped eating and looked in the direction where it was coming from, Kirishima.

"Is something? Do you need something?" she asked him immediately, but he didn't look like he wanted anything.

"No, I don't need anything, but thanks for asking. I mainly just wanted to know if you're feeling a little better?" he giggled and scratched his neck.

"Oh, thank you, I'm much better now."

Without a question, everyone continued with what they left off.

Today it was (Y / N) washing up, Ochako actually wanted to do it, but (Y / N) assured her friend that she didn't have to worry about anything and that she could go to her room.

Still, someone stayed by her side and it was none other than Tokoyami.

Of course he knows his girlfriend and knows that it is more of a challenge to have to persuade her to do something.

After several attempts, he finally gave in and helped her rather than persuading her to let him do the chores.

So while (Y / N) is doing the dishes, Tokoyami dries the cleaned dishes.

The only thing I was listening to in the room was the running water, rubbing the sponge and dishes and also rubbing through the dry cloth and the still wet dishes.

The friend sighed bored and finally turned the tap on, she turned her gaze to her boyfriend, who, however, seemed to be very busy drying off.

After Tokoyami was finished, he turned around and saw his girlfriend sitting on a chair, but she was staring bored at her screen and obviously didn't notice that her boyfriend was staring at her.

"(Y / N), are we going?"

Immediately she switched her cell phone to mute and got up from her chair and asked him "Are we going to my or your room?"

"I prefer your room." he said, because, unlike his room, it doesn't look as dark as his girlfriend's.

Once in the room, Tokoyami (Y / N) asked to sit down on her bed and be patient so that he would come back in about 5 minutes.

However, it appeared again in 3 minutes, albeit with a huge bag, if she had noticed it before, she doesn't think so.

"What is it, Tokoyami?" she wondered, getting up from her bed.

"Lie down again and I'll show you."

(Y / N) sat down giggling, because she doesn't get this side of Tokoyami in her face every day until she finally remembered something, the little bag.

Surprised, she asked Tokoyami what was there and pointed in the direction of where the little bag was.

He looked in this direction and got up with a sigh, sitting on her bed he asked which bag she would like to start with.

Thinking about it, (Y / N) first decided on the small bag.

When Tokoyami handed it to his girlfriend, he didn't know what to do himself, should he look at her unpacking, should he rather start a conversation with her, should he turn on the television or shouldn't he do it at all and stare at the floor?

The best was very promising for him, which is why he opted for this variant and stared at the floor while his girlfriend unwrapped the small gift.

It was a bracelet that was sealed under silver and on top of that his name.

Slightly wounded and yet shy, she looked at her friend, who stuck his left arm out.

He was wearing the same bracelet - which of course was engraved with his girlfriend's name.

"Tokoyami, I don't know what to say about that, except thank you."

In a warm hug, Tokoyami felt the warmth that (Y / N) carries within him, and he felt his girlfriend's heartbeat beating more and more against his body from second to second.

Tokoyami patted his girlfriend's back nervously and unsuspectingly until he breaks the hug in a few minutes and shows the big bag in front of her nose and says "You haven't opened this yet."

After several minutes, with the couple busy talking and opening the presents, the convulsions came at an inopportune moment.

Groaning from the pain, (Y / N) narrowed her eyes and asked her friend if he would really like to get a hot water bottle.

Nodding, he was already on his way and came straight back into the room, when Tokoyami (Y / N) handed over the hot water bottle, he put his somewhat announced hand on her forehead and noticed that she might have a fever.

"(Y / N), shall I-" shortly afterwards (Y / N) Tokoyami interrupted him to be able to spend the night with her.

"Is it okay if we play video games tomorrow? I'm not doing so well right now." apologized (Y / N) for what she can't and took Tokyami's hand and squeezed it a little tighter than before.

"You don't have to apologize for that, (Y / N). We can also play together another time, because as long as you're not feeling well, I'll stay by your side."

"Tokoyami."

"Yes?"

"Since when have you been different?"

"I wonder about that too." Dark Shadow's voice came out of nowhere.

[pangolin-404]

Late night ramblings on legends because when i get hooked on something i don’t shut up

The game’s absolutely going to get crunched with the early release date, but I doubt it’ll be delayed (I'd be both disappointed and relieved if it does). unfortunately I sold my soul to Game Freak the second I saw both Cyndaquil and Shinx in the same game so I’m absolutely getting it

I like how it’s not part of a dual-game or whatever the term is for basically every other core ‘mon game. Like in Sun and Moon, Sword and Shield, each game as exclusive Pokemon with minor differences.

A few articles and leaks mentioned seamless battle transition but I hope that’s not true. I know it’s a small think, but something about the battle screens are charming.

I want another trailer very badly

I’m happy the game seems to be going back to the good ol “Catch ‘em all” motto. I really love the concept of being the pioneer of the region’s dex. In every game I’ve played I always get sidetracked evolving my party and catching every new thing available in each area.

i’ve never traded a Pokemon in my life so i hope those trade-only evos can be caught in the wild. please i want to complete the pokedex for once in my life nintendo

I don’t think it’ll have all Pokemon thus far and I wonder which ones it will have. I wonder if there will be new ones. Maybe Pokemon implied to go extinct later on? (Ex: “Hunting for meat is making this Pokemon’s population dwindle.”) The Pokemon equivalent of the dodo? How would they introduce a new species from a past setting?

Lore about old Pokemon?? Like Unown?? And Spiritomb??? Please????? (I think Unown will be important in the story, whatever it may be)

Ancient forms of modern Pokemon would be cool I think

How does the setting affect stuff? I want Poke Ball lore. Like do we have to make our own? That sounds so cool, having to explore the wilderness and collect apricorn. I think the Box system will be turned into a farm-like setting. Maybe the Player(’s family) lives on a ranch?

I’m 90% sure it’ll have the camp feature. It makes sense to set up a tent and cook for your Pokemon out in the wilderness. I wonder if there will be variety in food to cook, if that’s the case. But if my Pokemon must live off of curry and curry only, then I shall accept it.

I wonder who our rival will be. Will they be a researcher, too? (Who’s even going to give us our starters? I have so many questions)

Will there be gyms? A champion? I wonder how that’ll turn out. Will it be an older, more flawed system than the current one? Maybe the champion is a tyrant or smthin (wasn’t there a point in Japan where the military had rule above the emperor? probably not at all in feudal Japan, just a shot in the dark) and the Player has to defeat them idk I’m not one for that level of theorizing

in short this is the Pokemon game i’ve been most hyped for ever. it has so much potential and I think even if it gets crunched and spat out a mess it’ll still offer so many new and fresh things to the series.

[phoenotopia]

2020 October Update

So... we've launched. And our launch was... actually kind of... bad...

This is a dev blog, so I'll speak on it. But before that, we do have the game's steam page up. If you're anticipating the PC release, please do visit the steam page and add it to your wish list. It would help us a lot.

VISIT STEAM LINK

...

So what didn't go so well?

1. We launched in Nintendo's Americas and Europe territory. If you've been following the release, you'd know that America got the game first. We didn't move to launch in Europe at all since I thought the EFIGS languages (English, French, Italian, German, Spanish) were pre-requisites for Europe. By the time I learned that this wasn't necessarily the case, and attempted to course correct, the damage was done. We had half the allotment of keys to do outreach, and maybe some European outlets that would've covered us, did not.

2. When the game launched, rather than a victory lap, what we experienced was more of a public lashing. We did get some reviews that praised the game highly, but just as many reviews lampooned the game for its high difficulty or other failings. I've since released two patches (or 3, depending on how you count it) to address the difficulty. A lot of overnighters. If you recall in the last blog post, I thought it'd be a good start if we got 20 or so reviews on Open Critic. But we've only 8 as of this writing, and the aggregate score isn't so hot. So that's a fail by my metric.

3. A publisher reached out to us because they were interested in physically printing the game! Yay! But... to advance our talks, they wanted to see the game's sales numbers to ensure that there's a good chance their investment could be recouped. And unfortunately, the game's sales numbers are pretty low. They backed out :(

Some hard lessons were learned. The biggest lesson for me concerns how well we playtested the game. Looking at the original playtester list, it's a short list. You may recall from a previous blog post that our ability to test was severely hampered by technical limitations. Add to that, a lot of people on this list are objectively really achieved players. We're talking power ranked in Smash Bros, regular tournament goers, and people who've played and bested every Souls game. And as the maker of the game, I am most blind to the game's challenges.

Now, I'm definitely more of the opinion that you prioritize PC development first. I still have some reservations about some stages of PC development. But if you do PC/Steam first, you have the great benefit of being able to do Early Access, which gives you access to a greater testing pool. I now view it as an invaluable part of the equation. If we had been able to do Early Access for 1 or 2 months before release, we probably could have ironed out most of the game's difficulty and balance problems. Hard lessons, indeed.

There were a lot of other notable events that occurred over the past 2 months - the travails of press outreach, realizing my own limits as a developer, feeling defeated and getting back up again, etc. There's too much stuff to chronicle or go into detail. But it wasn't all bad.

Some good things did happen...

We got a publisher to publish for Japan! It came as a huge relief, because clearly, we don't know what the heck we're doing.

The publisher has been an invaluable source of information and feedback. They've recommended some changes to the game to improve user experience. Some of these changes I was hesitant to do at first because they concerned systems I thought integral to the identity of the game. But after trying it, I have to admit, they're good changes.

So a Japanese version of the game was moving ahead. And it looked like that'd be it. I wasn't planning to move forward with any other language translations due to the game's low sales and our funds being depleted. 

But, I was approached by a translator who urged me to move ahead with translations. He told me he was willing to work for only a small price initially and then be paid the rest after from a percentage of the game's sales until the cost of the translation was paid in full.

I was surprised translators were willing to work under such a model since it's entirely likely the game's current low sales trajectory would continue and they wouldn't earn back the full cost of translation. But I was also flattered they were willing to take a risk with me. After that, I approached some others with the same hypothetical deal, and long story short, we're now moving forward with French, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Russian translations. As for why these languages in particular, they were languages for whom I had contacts (because they reached out to me at some point in the past). And also because they were deemed more likely to be profitable based on their home country's gaming market/buying habits. I'd be personally happy to have my native language be represented, but it's not expected to be a profitable territory. But if the game does better in the future, it may justify the costs of translation. There could be a chance!

The plan right now is to get the game supporting these first round of languages and then to patch that into the Switch version as well as launch the PC version with these languages - all in December. A lot of things need to align for this to occur, so a delay isn't out of the question. It'll be busy... I'll update the blog again in latter half of December, probably near the game's PC launch date... OR to announce a delay. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Fan Support

While the past two months have been grueling, one good thing remains constant - fan art! Thank you everyone who submitted. It means a lot to me and the team!

Big thanks to Pimez who's taken on watching over the reddit community as moderator. He also combs the other communities and makes sure I see every new art piece. Despite juggling his own life and all these tasks, he still found some time to draw.

Pimez's piece reminds us that just because the new game's out doesn't mean we can't still celebrate the original flash game. The jail dog is a dog found only in jail and only in the flash game. I imagine Gail is just tossing a stick, and they're playing fetch.

A new artist to this scene æv draws both the Phoenix logo AND a super cute picture of Gail playing the flute. So precious, you want to pinch her cheek. Even the Sand Drake is enthralled!

Another new artist, beet4ppy arrives on the scene with two pictures! One features a no-nonsense battle-hardened Gail looking stoic and tough! Kinda reminds me of Vinland Saga actually. The other, a more cheerful group composition - I must say I'm a big fan of Fran's classic anime-style eye!

A returning artist, Cody G, returns with a picture depicting the tribulations of cooking. Gotta love Gail's frantic expression! I've heard the complaints, which is why we've added an option to slow the cooking mini-game down. An improved button font is also on the way.

Gamesing with two undertale x phoenotopia crossovers. Thomas being a robot builder makes sense taking a role similar to Alphys. But why is Alex dressed like a clown? Perhaps there is a hidden meaning here... 

A new artist, Warotar, draws both a pooki wearing Gail's clothes and Gail wearing pooki clothes. Awww. The pooki is a bit scary - it kinda reminds me of a tragic event in a certain anime. But the Gail is adorable!

POL#5655 submitted this one to KM's discord which made its way to me. Here, a stylized Gail appears unnerved by the dark red eyes stalking her in the background. Are they bats or something more sinister?

A new artist, MilesCPW, arrives on the scene with three rare well-vectorized arts! Love it! One scene depicts Gail balancing a bomb on her head - that's a speedrunning trick I only learned about recently after someone emailed me a video O_O

The other drawing gives us new insight into Katash - he could actually look cute if he wasn't trying to kill you.

And the bees... Okay, this one got a chuckle from me :D

A returning artist roccy_chair draws this heart-warming scene from the beginning of the new game. Aww. Mika doesn't get much screen time for story reasons, so it's nice to see her represented.

UnrealWorld_32 returns with another drawing of Gail in Panselo, this time capturing a more idyllic time. I like the tranquil nature of this piece. And Gail does in fact play the guitar, denoted by the guitar in her room.

Returning artist shafiyahh draws a nice portrait of Prince Leo - looking regal and princely. I like the storybook art style of this piece. It made me immediately think of "the Little Prince" - one of my favorite books actually!

Negativus Core returns with a beautiful group composition of Gail and the gang - flying from a Switch shaped window - totally sensible considering the game is only Switch right now. As usual, I'm impressed by Negativus Core's use of challenging angles to frame a more dynamic shot of the characters. Great job!

And it wasn't only artists bearing the banner. I'd like to give a big shoutout to everyone in all the game's little communities (from the reddit to the discords to this tumblr). I've seen this community help newcomers with gameplay and walkthrough advice, discussions, updating the wiki, and so on. It does bring a smile to my face. Thank you everyone!

[neerasrealm]

POV: Jeff the killer kidnapped you and is venting to you about his internalized homophobia

I COULDN’T THINK OF AN ACTUAL TITLE SO I WENT WITH THAT

Anyway hi this is a jeffxben fic told from jeff’s POV. a little bit angsty but mostly just cuddles and comfort. and one-liners. lots of one-liners. The ending is a lil messy and idk man I didn’t know how to finish the fic so- ignore that

Based on one of these story starters.

Word count: 1907

There are three things you need to know before you read this.

One; hi, I'm Jeff. Nice to meet ya.

Two; I killed my parents three and a half years ago. I know that's a lot to dump on you immediately but it'll be important later.

And three….I'm...gay. There. I said it. I like guys. I'm attracted to men. I want to kiss guys. Or specifically- one guy. 

He has blonde hair, dark skin and bright blue eyes. And also pointed ears. He's a ghost, specifically one that's latched onto a Nintendo 3DS and a cartridge of Majora's Mask 3D. He looks like Link- but I'm not attracted to Link. Link is a twink and that's not my style. 

His name is Ben and Ben? Ben is a bro. He's my bro. He's everyone's bro- he has that natural charisma that makes everyone like him. He's friendly, polite, funny and laid-back. He's always down to hang out with you or invite you into his room to play videogames. Everyone likes Ben. But me? I love Ben. As in- love love him. I want to kiss his goofy face. His lips probably taste like cheetos and beef jerky. Gross. I hate how much I think about how his lips would taste. 

So now you're probably thinking "hey Jeff, why are you just vomiting your gay thoughts on me? Go tell him you love him."

But There's A Problem.

My parents- the dead ones- were really homophobic. Being gay just wasn't something you did. And it still feels wrong to me- which is weird considering the fact that my new adoptive parents are two gay men and my foster siblings are mostly homosexuals. But it still feels wrong. No matter how much I'm exposed to it I still feel that slight guilt whenever I catch myself admiring Ben while he trash talks someone, and I want to punch myself whenever I wake up from a dream about cuddling him. 

So that brings me to this situation. 

Picture this, okay? I'm sitting on his bed with a controller in my hand. We're playing smash bros and having a great time. I'm having...not a good day. You remember the dead parents thing? The trauma I mentioned? Yeah that's been haunting me all fucking day and I'm not feeling good. At all. And of course I'm not gonna tell anybody about it, because that means I have to address the problem. And I never, ever, address problems. Ever. They'll fester in me till the day I die. Like maggots.

That's gross I apologise.

But- yeah. I'm not feeling good and I'm hiding this fact from Ben because he cheers me up way better when he doesn't know I'm sad. 

"Hah! Gotcha!" 

"Shit-!" I swear as my character (king k rool, in case you wondering) flies off the stage. Ben laughs and woops beside me in victory. I shoot him a glare.

"Man you suck at this game." He laughs.

"I don't suck." I spit back. "You're just really good."

"Suuure you are." The smug look he gives me makes me wanna punch him. My hand curls into a fist in my lap. I grunt at him in response. He laughs and nudges me. "Hey it's alright Jeffy," I hate that nickname with the burning passion of a thousand suns. "You'll learn how to play soon enough."

"Lay off, man." I mutter back. I drop the controller and he snickers.

"Aww c'mon don't tell me you're rage quitting on me."

"Shut up dude just-" I shoot him an agitated look. "Just shut your stupid mouth okay?"

His smile drops. "Hey, you okay man?" Shit. He sounds worried.

"I'm fine." I grunt back. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "Get off."

The hand withdraws. I hear him shift on the bed next to me. "Hey, dude-" he frowns. "Are you feeling alright today? Do you- need to talk or chill or…?"

I glare at Ben. He's being nothing but supportive and kind and what am I doing? Being an ass. "No I don't need to fucking chill." I growl at him. "I'm fine, alright? Just fine."

"Alright…" it's quiet for a bit while Ben turns off the game. Eventually he speaks again. "You wanna watch a movie or something? I'm tired so…"

This is a trick. He's tricking me into taking care of my mental health. Fuck you Ben, I'll be as mentally ill as I want. 

‘’I’m gonna go to my room.’’ I stand up and immediately get YANKED back onto the bed by my hood. Ben’s noodle arms wrap around my waist and hold me tight. ‘’Dude-!’’ this is getting a little tOO HOMO-EROTIC, BENNY BOY.

‘’Stay.’’ he murmurs. ‘’I wanna keep an eye on you.’’

‘’Why?’’ I snarl. ‘’Because I’m a stupid kid that can’t look after himself?! Huh?!’’

Ben flinches. ‘’Jeff-’’ he murmurs. ‘’It’s not that I don’t trust you it’s because I know that you need the company right now.’’ he frowns. ‘’Just- lemme keep an eye on you, alright…?’’

Fuck.

Fuck.

fuuuuUUUUUCK.

Why does he CARE SO MUCH. I HATE IT. I’m gonna slam my head into a wall. Gimme a minute.

…

Okay wall slamming accomplished. Back to my predicament. 

‘’Fine.’’ I grunt. He (unfortunately) lets go of me. It’s silent. And uncomfortable. I pick at my fingers. He tilts his head at me.

‘’So- anything you wanna do?’’

I wanna hug you and kiss you and tell you I love you please Ben I’m gay and homophobic at the same time. ‘’Not really.’’

Ben puts a hand on my shoulder and scoots closer. He rests his hand on my other shoulder and...oh god I can fucking smell his hair from here- that’s creepy. Why am I creepy. Actually don’t answer that one. He looks up at me, bright blue eyes shining with kindness. ‘’You wanna talk about it…?’’ he asks gently. Normally I wouldn’t talk about my problems. Ever. But Ben is giving me puppy dog eyes.

‘’...I’m just thinking about mom and dad.’’ I mumble. He nods. ‘’They- treated me like shit. And I keep thinking about the shit they’d say to me-’’ I look down at him. He nods encouragingly. ‘’It’s like...they fucking hated me for all the shit I did- and now I’m here and people are understanding? And Slender- is actually trying to learn why I’m like this? Like- diagnosing me and shit to try and help…’’ I frown. ‘’And I’m just thinking like- if they’d sent me to a therapist would it be different? If I’d just gotten diagnosed or something-’’ I shake my head. ‘’I dunno man…’’

He sits up a bit. He hugs me, pulling me against him. My face goes fucking red. ‘’Maybe things would’ve…’’ he murmurs. ‘’But we can’t change the past...there’s no magic ocarina to take us back in time unfortunately.’’ of course he made a zelda reference. Of course. ‘’We just gotta accept what we got now,’’ he smiles. ‘’And we got each other, right? That’s something to be happy about, isn’t it?’’

Oh god Jeff don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Not here. Not in front of the man you love. 

…

And you’re crying. Good job Jeff.

I’m not a loud crier. But I am a gross crier. I get all snotty and stuttery and can’t get my voice out properly. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and silently roll down my gross scarred face. Ben reaches over and brushes them off with cold fingers. He feels cold as he hugs me but I don’t care. I wrap an arm around him and tug him closer. I can feel his breath on my neck as he gently shushes me. He sounds so caring, so...loving. Like a parent should treat their mentally ill kid. 

‘’B-ben-’’ I stammer out. He’s rubbing circles in my back. ‘’I lo-’’ wait what am I saying. ‘’I l-love-’’ WAIT HOLD ON- ‘’I love you…’’

SHIT

FUCK

NO

WAIT-

He hugs me tight and I shiver in the coldness of his body. ‘’I love you too…’’ his voice is soft and gentle. I believe him. I believe that he loves me. Genuinely- like I actually matter to him. He’d miss me if I was gone. And that- that’s a lot. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like it wouldn’t matter if I disappeared off the face of the earth. You wouldn’t care, my parents wouldn’t have cared. But Ben? Ben cares…

Which is why I proceed to squeeze the life (or lack thereof) out of him and sob into his shoulder. He holds me tight until I’ve (kinda) calmed down. He pulls away and tilts my head up to look at him. As gentle and as loving as I’d dreamed him, he wipes tears out of my eyes. I sob horsley and stare at him. He cups my face in his cold hands and smiles down at me.

‘’There you go…’’ he murmurs. ‘’See? I knew you just needed to get it out.’’ he smiles at me. I just- told him I love him. And he’s not making a big deal of it. That’s good, right?? That means he accepts me- right?

Right...yeah. Yeah, Ben accepts me. Ben doesn’t judge. 

‘’Yeah…’’ I gulp and look away from him awkwardly. ‘’Hey uh- do you wanna-’’ I fiddle with my hands again. ‘’Do you wanna...watch a movie or something? Together.’’

He nods and smiles. ‘’I’d love to.’’

And so- we end up watching not one, not two, but three movies, late into the night. And the entire time he’s curled up in my lap, comfy as can be. As the credits on our last movie roll, he looks up at me.

‘’Hey Jeff?’’

‘’Yeah?’’

‘’I love you.’’

My face goes bright fucking red. I don’t need to see it, I can feel it. I bury my face in my hands out of embarrassment. I hear him laugh at me like the bastard he is. I shoot him a glare from in between my fingers. I want to say it. I really do. I want to tell him I love him back but- it’s- it’s hard. He reaches up and pulls one of my hands away, letting him see me.

‘’You don’t have to say it back. It’s okay. I know.’’ He hugs my waist and rests his head against my chest. ‘’I can wait...until you’re ready.’’

It’s at this point I start crying. Again. 

Ben shushes me gently and runs his hand through my hair. And...as I looked down at him- it finally clicked. I don’t have to put the shield up- not around him. Ben is different. Ben...Ben is good.

Yeah.

Ben is good.

I guess...the reason why I’m telling you this- well...not telling, I guess- writing. The reason why I’m writing this is because...I feel like it’s something important. I need to remember it because...it’s a step. A step in me learning to accept myself. It sounds corny yeah but- fuck off okay? I’m full of trauma and insecurities. I’m allowed be a little sappy.

I don’t know who’ll end up reading this- I mean I’m literally scribbling it into a notebook I found in his drawer. There’s only two people who I really want this to be seen by. Ben, because he deserves to know how much he’s affected and helped me, and two...my brother. Though I doubt he’d ever find this- heh- 

I...love Ben. And that’s okay. At least- to me, I think it is.

[geekcavepodcast]

REVIEW | Metroid Dread

Hoo boy, what a ride.

Metroid Dread continues (and, Nintendo says, completes) a saga that started with the original NES release in 1986 and was last updated with Metroid Fusion on the Game Boy Advance in 2002 (The Prime series is a prequel to this story), and while it certainly feels like the end of one story and possibly the start of a new one, the game's ending itself might be one that not many fans manage to get to, despite strong sales.

Once again you play as Samus Aran, an intergalactic bounty hunter raised by bird people, as you investigate the seeming resurgence of the X Virus seen in Fusion. Through the usual story-related shenanigans seen throughout the series, Samus lands on a particular planet and finds herself stripped of most of her badass combat abilities, thus forcing her to explore the landscape, battle deadly beasts, and regain her ability to shoot incredibly powerful lasers and bombs while contorting herself into a metal basketball.

Dialogue in the game comes in cutscenes shared with Samus' ship AI, "Adam," as well as a couple of new characters who shed some much-appreciated light on not only Samus' backstory but that of the world and continuity she inhabits. From a lore perspective, I loved each new development and revelation.

From a gameplay perspective? That's a mixed bag.

While Metroid Dread plays great from a control standpoint - everything is responsive and while Samus feels more "slippery" than she has in other installments, you get used to it fairly quickly - the game's difficulty is another thing. It's almost like the team behind it found out that Dark Souls is popular, and thus cranked the difficulty way up. Metroid games aren't usually easy, don't get me wrong, but you will die a LOT to boss fights that range from "challenging" to "seemingly completely unfair." No boss is unbeatable - it's about pattern memorization and quick reflexes - and the game's automatic checkpoints are merciful and will plop you right back at the chamber before each encounter whenever you die, but the vast majority of exploration and encounters come at such a lower difficulty level that it can be jarring at best and off-putting at worst. Many times I put down my controller in frustration over the difficulty differences.

Frankly, the uneven difficulty leaves me to say that Metroid Dread is probably the best game I will never be able to 100% recommend.

The visuals are fantastic, and the final encounters (plus - spoiler alert - typical "race against the clock before a big explosion" sequence) are all worthwhile. Perhaps I'm getting to a place in my personal and professional lives where I just don't like big swings in difficulty, but I play games to relax and have fun, not feel like I'm being punished... and unfortunately, Metroid Dread made me feel like I was being punished for having "too much fun."

Rent it first. It's a must-play ONLY for the most avid Metroid fans.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games. With a slight resemblance to HAN JISUNG of/the STRAY KIDS.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Nam Jaejin ALIAS: Crypto Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 21 Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000 Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: He/him, they/them Species: Cyborg Occupation: Bookkeeper of the Howlers, university student, hacker Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Tan Eye color: Brown, with a blue/purple tint at times   Scars: Surgery scars where his enhancements have been added; in his right arm and chest area. Piercings: Right eyebrow, both earlobes Tattoos: When he is not actively using his enhancements, the mechanical arm silhouette on his right arm resembles a tattoo. (x) Hair color: Currently black with white highlights. Abnormalities: Added technological right arm and metallic elements to the right side of his chest. these enhancements affect most of his body/internal system as well (namely his lungs). he has human brains, but they are affected by the technorganic physiology as well. Horns/ wings/ etc: none Transformed form: His technological arm mostly looks like a tattoo to someone who doesn’t know any better. While actively using his abilities, his right arm and chest begin to glow with a blue/purple light and resemble more of a robotic arm/chest. This glow might affect his eyes as well.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  Raised Catholic, later turned atheist SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: Korean (native, dialectal at times), English (mostly fluent), Latin (basics) SECRETS: He has been behind a lot of major hackings towards the government/other significant parties during the last few years. Jaejin will usually attempt to blend in with “normal” humans and civilians, trying to hide both his cyborg-ness as well as his gang affiliation.   SAVVIES: Technology, computer science, hacking, mathematics, video games, planning Powers & Abilities: Technorganic physiology, technology manipulation Traits: + quick-witted - aloof Aesthetics: Flickering neon lights, the sound of static, retro video games

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: January 31st, 2000

Date of Death: -

Crime Record: Multiple hackings against many different significant figures/parties, as well as countless smaller hackings. Involvement in gang activities, mostly relating to fundings. He hasn’t been found guilty for any of these crimes yet, but he is also aware that his record might not stay clean forever.  

Background/Biography:

Born to a wealthy upper-class family in Busan during a cold January, Jaejin was, at first, anything like most kids. He had a younger sister. He had loving parents (albeit ones who had their expectations raised sky-high from the very beginning). And he had a few people around him he could even call friends. The kid was a little shy, a little nerdy, but nothing short of pure and kind towards the ones he cared about. His childhood was a little uneventful, but a happy one regardless.

Jaejin was nearing the age of ten when the unfortunate accident occurred. It was a dark October evening, heavy rain making it nearly impossible to see clearly. Jaejin was returning home from a friend’s house, hurrying down the street as the rain continued to increase.  The kid decided to cross the street, thinking of the Nintendo Gameboy console waiting for him at home. The sound of brakes screeching against the wet asphalt made him halt where he stood. It was all blinding light and the loud howling of a truck’s horn before everything went black.  

Jaejin barely survived the hit, perhaps by some miracle. What didn’t survive was the majority of his right arm. Most of his chest was looking quite vile too, having endured a hit that no human tissue really could. Some of his organs, namely his lungs, were damaged nearly beyond repair. He was barely breathing, only making it with the help of the beeping machines of the hospital. Jaejin’s parents, shocked and shaken up by the whole thing, quickly began to pull strings and search for methods for him to make it. It was a question of any means at that point. A decision that they would perhaps come to regret later.

The boy was taken to a private clinic that specialized in cybernetic surgeries. It was supposed to be just about repairing the parts of him that no longer worked as well as life required. But Jaejin’s surgeon was a charismatic man of science, and was able to convince the higher class family that some small enhancements to his body wouldn’t hurt. The Nam family was eminently very unaware of the lengths that some cybernetic surgeons went in the name of science and test-runs. So when Jaejin awoke some twenty hours later, he was no longer the same boy at all.  

It wasn’t evident, at first. But over the years it became apparent that something had shifted after the surgery. The once very warm boy became aloof, often struggling to empathize with people. In turn he became intelligent in a way he necessarily wasn’t before. Jaejin's emotions weren’t completely shut-off by any means. He felt things, sometimes even strongly, but not always in the way others expected him to. And the boy was ashamed and alone with his thoughts. It wasn’t until years later, during his high school years, that Jaejin discovered the things that he was actually capable of.  Accessing and controlling different technological components became something Jaejin got kicks out of, a different kind of excitement filling him for the first time after the enhancement surgery. And so what if hacking things was illegal? It enabled Jaejin to have control and power. It enabled him to have pride in himself.

After high school, once Jaejin had already enrolled in university to study computer engineering, an acquaintance approached him after a mathematics class. Even at first glance the young man could tell that the things he was about to be told were not something he could tell anyone else. He was asked to follow the man to a place he would later know to be the Howler’s headquarters. His skills and savvies were something they took interest in. And though Jaejin was nothing short of unsure about the offer, he figured he could stay around for a while. Even if only to help the gang with their poor money management skills out of pure curiosity.  

So that was what Jaejin became – a gifted, witty student by day, and a hacker and gang member by night. He had gone by the codename Crypto even before affiliating himself with the Howlers, so it was natural that he also used that alias in his gang endeavors. Jaejin, having taken distance from his family a long time ago, was surprisingly willing to be included in a gang of all things. Maybe it was the things the gang did and provided him with that gave him a sort of thrill and excitement otherwise lacking in his life. Or maybe being a part of a group made him feel a little bit more human again.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

Jaejin was, for the lack of a better word, in quite a robotic state.

Again, it wasn’t that the man didn't feel anything at the question. Sure he did: he felt annoyance at the fact that he had to be sitting there, in the police station, when he could be tackling his microcomputer architecture project due in a few days. But Jin also knew that it wasn’t really the typical emotion to be feeling while being questioned by an officer. Especially not if you were innocent (and he was, technically speaking).  

“It all happened so fast”, he said instead. He was trying to summon some feelings of shock and maybe even sorrow. Jaejin knew those to be the typical feelings of a civilian witnessing a gunfight, after all. Except in this case it was more of him being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not so much the fact that he hadn’t seen it before. It had been people from the Howlers, though; a fight against some other gang members (for reasons the man frankly didn’t know). And Jaejin had just happened to be there as the police cars arrived with sirens howling.  

He wasn’t going to say any of that though. Jaejin wasn’t about to snitch on his gang members, not if he had nothing to fear. And as far as he knew, none of the scouts involved had actually been caught. The police had nothing on the situation. So he continued to speak in a manner that, in hindsight, was probably too calm for someone who didn’t know anything.  This might come and bite him back at some point. “All I know that there were people in black, many of them. I didn’t really see their faces, probably a gang or something. Suddenly there was a loud noise of gunfire and that’s the part where I ran to the back of the warehouse.” Out of nowhere, Jaejin felt actual emotions surging to the surface. “I was... afraid”, he whispers in a small voice, “I didn’t want to get hurt. To die.”  

Except it wasn’t really his own life he was afraid for. Jaejin found himself back in the situation, the same emotions rushing through him. He was afraid for them. For his own gang members. For better or for worse, the people who accepted him when no one else had. For the first time in a long time, Jaejin was afraid of losing someone (not that he would admit it out loud, though).